TL/Editor: raei


    Status: 5/Week Mon-fri


    Illustrations: Posted in discord.


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    It was no big deal.


    Unlike the goblins who worked mechanically as if devoid of emotion, the orcs, who could be considered non-commissioned officers, seemed to retain some feelings. While the goblins crawled around trying to maintain formation until they were wiped out in an ambush, the orc javelineers didn''t haphazardly throw bombs when surprised, did they?


    So the orc hunters watching from the watchtowers, or rather orc longbowmen if we''re giving them a new name for the 55th floor''s armored monsters.


    Anyway, unlike the goblins, they weren''t diligently standing guard. They probably thought something seemed suspicious but were too lazy to check directly, so they just fired an arrow to confirm.


    The problem was that the arrow aimed far too accurately at my ass.


    ''Did these bastards spend all their time making gifs...?''


    I could already see video donations flooding Han Se-ah''s stream from the corner of my eye, despite my limited vision from wearing my helmet low. A man in armor lying prone in the grass, the camera zooming in, sturdy steel armor showing no trace of body lines unlike the women''s armor—


    And then an arrow flying in with a "tang" and bouncing off.


    It cut through the air, wobbling up and down like a swimming fish. As if filmed in slow motion, the magnified arrow flew straight between my butt cheeks without a millimeter of error. In other words, it nearly "stuck" there precisely rather than just hitting the meaty part.


    "Kreek—, enemy attack!"


    Kek kek kek!


    Kirruruk!!


    Suddenly the orcs speaking human language rang the watchtower bells, and goblin infantry swarmed onto the palisade like a pack of dogs, carrying things to throw. At the same time, the gates opened and a centaur cavalry unit charged towards me.


    But what I saw wasn''t a terrifying monster army, but various memes of my butt that had already been made in less than 5 minutes.


    A Western girl in hot pants lying prone and shooting, her hips swaying, my butt, a plump butt bouncing up and down while twerking, my butt deflecting an arrow, an interview where everyone answers "plump butt" when asked what they look at in a lover, and my butt again...


    These fucking bastards, really.


    "I''ll break down the palisade, follow me in!" I shouted.


    "Got it, Roland!" Han Se-ah replied.


    Thinking I might end up giving Han Se-ah a steel flick to the forehead hard enough to send her back to this morning, I gripped my warhammer tightly and just charged forward.


    I advanced, ignoring the centaur scouts galloping across the soft prairie soil, wielding long spears like they were doing a lance charge and curved swords. I pushed on, deflecting swords aimed at my neck and spears thrusting at my chest with my armor, heading for the wide open gates.


    The monsters on the palisade seemed to stir, perhaps realizing our numbers were fewer than expected and thinking they could trample us. They noticed a single person breaking through the cavalry unit and advancing.


    "This time, I won''t, ugh, save mana!"


    -Try to control your expression a bit lololololol It''s funny as hell though lolololol


    Raei Translations


    ---


    The tank advancing and breaking formation didn''t fall.


    The swordsman who dove into the fray to induce chaos couldn''t be caught, the archer firing from afar didn''t miss a single shot, and thanks to that, the mage chanted spells without any interference while occasional attacks dissipated against the priest''s barrier.


    "This is it! This is what a mage should be!"


    Amidst all this, Han Se-ah, who had spread gifs of my butt worldwide, seemed the most excited. Seeing her bouncing around happily was cute, but then I''d see the gifs plastered all over the forums and want to give her a flick to the forehead again. Inspiring both abuse and affection—perhaps this was also an innate quality of a streamer.


    Still, maybe because she''d fainted a couple times from recklessly using mana, she said she wouldn''t fall for it a third time and used her mana properly this time.


    Muttering about how a person couldn''t possibly make the same mistake three times, she squeezed out mana to a dangerous degree. Thanks to that, not only the centaur unit but most of the orc javelineers inside the encampment were electrocuted in their armor.


    Indeed, a high-ranking mage was like a wide-area killing weapon like artillery.


    "Phew~! Look at how a dozen or so collapse in electrocution with just one lightning strike. Boom! Crash! This is why mages are the flower of fantasy!"


    -Watching this really makes me want to play a mage


    -The official melee character hate stream: ON


    -Forbes'' #1 ranked streamer for snake oil sales


    -Tell that damn Forbes to stop watching her streams


    -By the way, seeing the wide-area lightning fry reminds me of that old Magic Tower geezer who helped in the orc forest. She''s similar now, huh?


    She seemed quite excited, probably because she didn''t collapse this time and swept up hundreds of monsters. As we picked up mana stones amidst the charred grass, she couldn''t stop talking.


    It felt like just yesterday she was fighting goblins 2-on-1, but now she was roasting hundreds of goblins with high-rank magic. Though she had her annoying points, compared to the Magic Tower psychos, her personality was probably in the top 10%.


    A sense of pride filled a corner of my heart for raising such a talented newbie to this point, but it was quickly washed away by a wave of irritation as photos of my butt popped up with uncanny timing.


    ...I''d have to scold her later for zooming in on my butt during the strategy meeting, if nothing else. That was for the mission reward.


    "Hanna?" I called out.


    "Huh? What? Did you gather all the mana stones?" she asked.


    "The center of the encampment looks blackened from the lightning. Can you check it with magic?"


    "...Oh!"


    Her smiling face twisted strangely at my casual remark. The excitement that had been burning hot suddenly cooled, and she probably felt a chill. How many times had she messed up quests like this now?


    As I watched her expression cloud with worry and concern, I struggled to control the corners of my mouth from rising.


    There was no ulterior motive—this was just a senior adventurer''s duty to guide a junior adventurer.