Chapter Twenty-Eight - Escape Velocity


    Chapter Twenty-Eight - Escape Velocity


    "It''s strange to live in a time where human ingenuity and sciences have allowed us to create such perfect, devastating weapons, and yet we''re still using guns invented and perfected seventy years ago because our adversary''s greatest threat is still delivered from biting range."


    --Brigadier General Thibodeau, 2055


    ***


    "That''s distressing to hear," Grasshopper said. "I''d like to think that I still have a lot to live for."


    "Yeah, I think we all want to not die," I agreed as I climbed over the back of the couch, then sat on the backrest with an elbow on my knee. "So, no plan at all. That seems really unlikely."


    Jolly Monarch shrugged his drone''s arms. "That''s the situation at the moment. The Family in general don''t have any authority to push things and they''re being rather passive about Phobos. They are, admittedly, helping with crowd control and information. They''re helping to keep panic at a minimum."


    "Right, because we don''t want people panicking minutes before they''re crushed to death," Sam-O-Ray said. He crossed his arms and flexed. My dude had some big muscles. Did he work out for those or was he cheating a little? He didn''t strike me as the cheating sort.


    I shook my head and refocused. Why was the imminent death of everyone on the entire planet so easy to be distracted from?


    "We can''t really be planning to just... I don''t know, sell shades to people so they can stare right up at the fireball before it splatters them," I said. "Isn''t this just a huge rock? Nuke it or something."


    Jolly Monarch laughed. "You''re not even wrong. There are at least a dozen samurai who could bat this thing aside without any issues. Unfortunately, all of them are off-world. The more we delay in asking for their help, the less help they can provide."


    "So ask, dumbass," I said.


    "It''s not so simple," he replied. "There are political considerations."


    "This doesn''t seem the time for that," Grasshopper said.


    LaserJack hummed. "I''ll admit, I''m usually the first to jump when it comes to samurai issues that turn political. It''s my area of expertise, but I generally agree with Stray Cat and Grasshopper. If we have to suffer the consequences of redeploying someone important, then we''ll do so after we''ve saved the planet and all of its inhabitants."


    Jolly Monarch nodded. "Good. Thank you. I think the issue at the moment is that there are too many non-samurai in positions of relative power. They''re stalling things in the name of one thing while aiming to gain favour in other respects."


    "What do you mean?" I asked.


    Jolly Monarch reached up and scratched... was it his chin? I supposed the chin belonged to him, but it was 100% a female chin. Her chin? No, I supposed it was still ''his.'' Fucking English. "The primary issue is with certain power players. Not specifically people, but larger organisations. Governments and mega-corps. The Family wants concessions from them, and right now there has never been a better time to ask."


    "Are they--" Rac began, only to stop as attention turned her way.


    "I suspect I can purchase a gun large enough to send a projectile into orbit," Grasshopper said. "The tricky part will be detaching from any orbit and aiming the projectile towards Phobos. It''s a huge target, but space is huge-er!"


    "Yeah, gravity and shit," I agreed.


    Grasshopper gave me a look that made me want to slink away and read a book or something.


    "I''ve got some decent range-finding systems," Sam-O-Ray said. "It''s not much, but it might help. Stray Cat, sister, you''re apparently someone who knows everyone. Have any samurai friends that are into space travel?"


    "Not space travel specifically, and I don''t know if I know everyone. I do know some newbies with a few weird catalogues. Not sure if they''ll all have something to contribute."


    "No, it would be good anyway," Grasshopper said. "Even if they''re just buying some of the more basic, less expensive parts, that''ll still defray part of the overall cost. And it''s important with group projects to include as many people as possible and see if they can shine!"


    "It''ll also be important to have more samurai," Rac said.


    "Hmm, why''s that?" I asked her.


    "Because someone might fuck with your giant space gun if it''s just you and Miss Grasshopper and, uh, mister Sam-O-Ray," Rac continued. "But if it''s a dozen samurai? No one''s gonna want to fuck with that."


    That was a fair point. Messing with one samurai was bad, messing with a couple? That was asking for trouble. At the same time, there were some corps big enough that they probably thought they could get away with it. Messing with nearly a dozen? Fuck that, that risk-reward math was way off on that one.


    "Okay," I said. "Not how I was planning on spending my afternoon, but I dig it."


    "It''s almost five. We''re well past just the afternoon," Grasshopper said.


    I scoffed. Spoken like someone that woke up in the morning.


    "Where do we wanna set this up?" I asked.


    "We need a clear space," Grasshopper began. "With no room for corporate interference. We''ll want an area that''s away from the city as well. It''s likely that any shot strong enough to propel something into the atmosphere will likely be strong enough to make the earth tremble and shatter windows for some ways. We can compensate for that, but it really depends on our budget. And, of course, what we''re aiming for."


    "We''re aiming for Phobos, aren''t we?" I asked.


    "Yes, of course, but will we be able to destroy it with one hit? Do we want that? It''ll be much easier to crack the moon apart into more manageable pieces than to destroy it completely outright."


    "I don''t know much about rocket science, but I do know where we can find a lot of open space," I said. I had an idea.


    ***