Odd? How so?


    Selene''s soft whine catches Kellan''s attention. "We''ll be there soon. Will she be okay?"


    It doesn''t seem that he realizes the dog is not actually a dog. "She''s fine."


    I thought I had all my memory, but when I try to think back, everything is fuzzy. Even my own name doesn''t come to mind.


    My head aches at the thought of trying to unravel that. What kind of memories? From becoming a dog?


    Not exactly. My past life. My identity. Many things... Things I thought I remembered. Vanessa''s words sound familiar, but I cannot access the memories. It feels important.


    That just sounds... Yeah. She''s right. It''s odd.


    How long have they been missing?


    Silence.


    Then, I don''t know. Forever.


    Leaning down, I rub at Selene''s head. It''ll be okay. I''m sure we''ll figure it out. But we both know my promise is hollow. I have no way of keeping it.


    Selene whines again, resting her head on her paws as she stays beneath my chair. Ava, am I a detriment to you?


    Of course not. My denial is swift and from the heart. But... I think we might make bad decisions together.


    Her mood plummets; I can feel it in the back of my head. Like Lucas and his wolf, as children.


    Scratching behind her ears in gentle consolation, my heart is buoyed when she leans against my touch. You have given me much strength by being here. We''ll figure it out together.


    Together, she confirms, but that insecure edge to her words is still there.


    * * *


    Nerves have my knees so weak, my walk resembles the wobbling of a cooked noodle.


    But I make it to the pack lands as twilight hits. The entire place is like a ghost town.


    No lights on.


    No people.


    No signs of life at all.


    Kellan stares at me, anguish clear in his eyes. His face. In how his lips curve down at my words.


    Eventually, he turns away, staring ahead again. "It''s not your fault, Ava. You didn''t cause this. We were too arrogant in the safety of our land."


    But in my heart, I recognize the lie.


    If I hadn''t been at that party, those vampires wouldn''t have gone there.


    We might not understand why they would risk outright war... But we know what their goal that night was.


    Perhaps another attack, on another day, would have happened.


    But it wouldn''t have been that day.


    It wouldn''t have been that place.


    Facing this crowd—


    Those pyres—


    These lives, forever changed—


    The weight of my guilt is crushing.


    Selene presses against my leg, her warmth a small comfort in the face of so much sorrow. You couldn''t have known, she says softly, her voice echoing in my mind. You were just trying to find your place in the world.


    But no longer is her voice confident.


    No longer are her words a secure beacon, holding me above my fears.


    One person''s place in the world should never be created at this cost.


    No. It''s time to stop this distance; time to give up the dreams of a quiet life in Cedarwood.


    Reality isn''t beautiful. It isn''t pretty. It isn''t idyllic.


    Reality doesn''t wait.


    Life is unfair. Accepting that is my only way forward; my only way out of this quagmire of my own creation.


    This is not Lucas'' pack.


    This is my pack.


    And they''re hurting.