Lucas doesn''t answer Kellan''s text, or my phone call.
Probably busy again with the Council.
Stretching, I test the range of motion in the lightweight tactical clothing Kellan provided. The fabric is breathable, but I''m already sweating beneath the impact-resistant layer in the shirt. A knife rests heavy on my belt, and the boots feel stiff, promising blisters if I have to run for my life. But of course the beta insisted, so here I am, trussed up like an operative minus the arsenal.
The bodyguards have all ditched their suits for similar getups, though several sport guns on their hips. I turn to Marcus, brow raised. "Why don''t I get a gun?"
He barely glances my way. "A gun in untrained hands is just asking for trouble."
I purse my lips but concede his point with silence. Using it would require an instruction manual, and there''s no time for that in an emergency.
Still seems like something I should probably learn, considering that my physical prowess is much worse than the average shifter.
The door swings open and I blink in surprise as Vanessa strides in, kitted out like some special ops soldier. She catches my stare and explains, "Jericho updated me."
Something in her gaze gives me pause. Is that pride? Whatever it is, I shift uncomfortably under the unexpected approval. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
Vanessa''s lips quirk. "Lately, you''ve seemed paralyzed by indecision, scared to make the wrong move. I''m glad to see you''ve found your confidence again."
A humorless laugh escapes me. Confidence? I''m trembling in my boots. Literally. "I''m not confident at all. I''m constantly second-guessing myself, wondering what the right call is."
Vanessa steps closer, her voice low and intense. "Stop admitting that. Everyone needs their leaders to project confidence, even if it''s an act."
Doubt claws at my mind, insidious whispers reminding me of all the ways I could fail. All the lives I''m risking with every choice. How can I possibly—
No. I cut off the spiral before it takes hold, squaring my shoulders and lifting my chin. Fake it ''til you make it, right? I meet Vanessa''s gaze, hoping she can''t see the cracks in my facade.
"You''re right. No more wavering." The words taste like ash on my tongue, but I force them out anyway. "It''s time to act."
Vanessa nods, something like satisfaction flickering across her face. "Well, we''ll be behind you, in case anything happens." Holding out her hand, I notice that she''s holding the candle I asked for. "Here."
Sober beneath the weight of Kellan''s concern, I nod. "I will. Liam and Adam will think I''m a barnacle."
He holds my gaze a moment longer, searching for something, before stepping back with a sharp nod. "Good. Make sure to keep your phone on you. Don''t hesitate to call for backup if anything goes wrong."
He''s acting like we''re about to head into war. In his head, that''s probably true. Still, it''s hard not to feel like we''re overreacting to a trip to see Sister Miriam.
Better to be prepared than be caught pooping in the bushes.
Staring at Selene, I can''t even repeat her words out loud. Pooping in the bushes? Really? That''s what you went with?
Her mental shrug is unrepentant. Wolves don''t have the same hang-ups about bodily functions as humans do.
"Okay." I take a deep breath, trying to calm the butterflies rioting in my stomach. This is it. No more hiding, no more waiting for others to make the tough calls.
But still—
"If something goes wrong, what''s the plan?"
"We go in." Kellan meets my eyes. "No matter the cost."
The doubt on my face is clear. I know it is, because I''m letting it all out.
"We won''t be stupid about it, but if anything happens to you, it will be an act of war." He hesitates for a second, appearing to struggle over saying what he wants to say.
But I can see it on his face, and I don''t blame him for thinking it.
"Don''t start a war, Ava."
I''m not planning on it.
I just hope I don''t let them down.