"I''ll get the Magister," Marcus offers. "You focus on the those other ones. Try not to flood the room or something."
"I can swim," Vanessa says. "I can probably keep her afloat until you get here."
Their faith in me is so touching. "I''m not going to flood the room, guys."
"Did you know you were going to set a paper on fire before you did it?" Marcus looks stern, but there''s a slight twinkle in his eyes, and a little quirk to his smile, that tells me he''s becoming more comfortable around me.
At least he''s not trying to escape the general vicinity of magic, after being in the Fae Ward for a few days. He''s getting used to its existence around him, though he admits that it feels itchy. Vanessa doesn''t seem to have the same problem.
Selene, on the other hand...
I''m not sneezing, but all I can smell is refuse. She sounds sour in my head. There''s an alley with garbage cans. I guess no one wants to ward their trash.
As Marcus leaves to fetch Magister Orion, my heart clenches in sympathy for my wolf. I wish there was a way to make you more comfortable.
It''s fine, Selene replies, though her mental voice sounds strained. I''d rather be here than leave you alone.
Vanessa settles on the bed, her fingers tracing the edges of the rune papers scattered across the covers. She looks up at me, her eyes filled with concern. "How are you holding up, Ava?"
Falling onto my back, I throw my arm over my eyes, blocking out the lights. Every one of my feelings presses down on me, shoving me deeper into the mattress. "Honestly? I feel like I''m missing something huge. Like there''s this... I don''t know, this looming disaster just waiting to happen, and I can''t see it coming."
Vanessa nods, her expression thoughtful. "Well, we know Lisa''s been relocated. That''s good news, right? And Lucas is an experienced alpha. He''s handled tough situations before."
"I know, I know." I squeeze my arm harder against my face, against the sudden spring of tears in my eyes. "But I can''t shake this feeling that I should be doing more. It feels like I''m hiding while everyone else is out there facing real danger."@@@@
Vanessa holds up one of the rune papers. It crinkles in the air, tickling my ear as I lower my arm to peer in her direction. "Maybe working on your powers is the best help you can be right now. Think about it—if you can master this, you''ll be able to protect the pack in ways no one else can."
But now I realize I still was complacent, knowing he was there to hold us up. He''s always been the glue of our relationship, and I''ve been like a flighty hummingbird, flitting from one place to the next.
Without him being the one to text me, to call me, with our distance, I realize how much I relied on him. On his presence to steady us, to keep our relationship going.
Now, I''m desperate to know he''s safe, and finally understanding how he felt.
It doesn''t feel good at all.
It feels like the entire world keeps throwing revelation after revelation at me, and I''m drowning in a sea of knowledge that I haven''t done enough.
Maybe that''s where this uneasy feeling is coming from.
"Do you regret coming with me?" I ask, almost afraid to hear the answer.
But Vanessa shakes her head without hesitation. "Not for a second. This is important, Ava. What you''re learning here, what you''re becoming... it could change everything. With vampires coming to wolf fights, and these magical portals, and now this city, I feel like we''re all unprepared for what a real war entails.
You''re our key to salvation."
Her words send all of my insecurities straight to my lungs, making it even harder for me to breathe. How can I live up to someone as sweet and caring as Vanessa? Someone who''s willing to stand by me despite my mistakes. Someone who isn''t forced by a fated bond to be with me.
"That''s a bit much—"
She cuts me off with her simple words. "But that''s how I feel."
And I, Selene echoes.
"Besides," she adds with a wry smile, "someone''s got to keep you from burning down the Fae Ward."