<b>119 </b>


    <b>+15 </b><b>BONUS </b>


    <b>“</b><b>Of </b>course not.” Smirking when she tips her head to one sige, I add, “I understand why you would guess that, but trust me. We don’t talk much about you, and I would like to change that.”


    “Okay.” She seems to give it real thought while our server sets a tter of cheese and roasted vegetables between us. “You know, I always figured I had everything in ce. wanted to work in economics, get a stable job that came with a retirement fund, all that stuff.” She drizzles honey over a piece of parmesan, then moans as she ces it in her mouth.


    “Careful,” I warn, lifting an eyebrow. “I don’t know how far my self–control will get us if you insist on turning me on with those sexy sounds.”


    “Sorry.” The wicked gleam in her eyes tells a different story. We both know this will only lead to me ravishing her once we get home–if I can wait that long. I’ve already envisioned fucking her right here on the table.


    “Anyway, it feels wrong turning my back on that.” I keep my thoughts to myself, although I imagine good old Charles drilling that into her head. “They always say hands on experience is the best kind, and I have to say that’s true. After spending time working in an office, I don’t know if I want to do that for the rest of my life.” I can almost feel her indecision when her brow furrows. “So many people would kill for a stable job like that though, so I feel….”


    “That doesn’t mean you have to want it. I think one of the saddest things in life is watching someone talk themselves into something they don’t want, all because they think they should.”


    “Right, but I want you to know that this doesn’t mean I want to spend the rest of my life hanging around the house or spending your money. I don’t want you to think that.”


    What would ever possess her to believe I would think that? Caterina, that is thest thing I’ll ever think about when ites to you. That’s not who you are.”


    “Good, at least you know that. I don’t want you to think I’m trying to take advantage of you.” Her eyes close once she smears burrata on a piece of focia. Bringing it to her mouth, her teeth sink into the bread. “Oh, my God, this is heaven.”


    It’s heaven to watch her enjoy herself. There’s nothing like spoiling someone who deserves it.


    “I know you better than that.” Though considering my past with women–especially one in particr whose name I refuse to mention or even think of, if I can help it can understand why she would go out of her way to


    assure me.


    “This might sound stupid, but I feel like I should have a better idea of what I want out of life.”


    “There is plenty of time to figure out what you want to do with your life. I don’t know why society expects everyone to know what they want to do the second they turn eighteen. Most people don’t even know what they want to do for a job until they’re older, and then they’ve wasted years doing something they’ve hated simply for a paycheck and insurance. There’s more to life than surviving. As you grow up, it’s like you understand what you want most out of life.”


    “I know, but with the baby and everything…” She lowers the rest of her focia to the te, and her dark brows draw together. I can see the worry lines creasing her forehead, and I want to kick myself for the direction this conversation has gone.


    “That’s the thing about having money. It gives you options. If you want to hire a nanny and work fu ne? <b>Go </b>ahead. If you want to go back to school? Be my guest. If you want to be a stay–at–home mom and volunteer a <b>few </b>hours a week somewhere, that’s fine with me. You can do whatever you want. I’ll be here for you, supporting you, with whatever it is you decide to do.”


    <b>+15 </b>BONUS


    <b>“</b><b>Wow</b><b>.</b>” <b>She </b>sighs. <b>“</b><b>I’m </b><b>sorry</b>, I just never thought about that way. There are so many <b>options </b><b>avable</b><b>.</b><b>” </b>


    <b>Compromising </b>is a thing <b>of </b>the past.” Eventually, <b>I’m </b><b>going </b><b>to </b>make sure she understands that. I never <b>imagined </b>the joy <b>of </b>being able to open up my world to someone else. Yes, there are risks with my job and the <b>people </b><b>I </b><b>associate </b>with but also benefits.


    All at once her head snaps up, and a soft smile touches her <b>lips</b>. “This song<b>. </b>It was one of my mom’s favorites.”


    I recognize the instrumental version of an old 80s love songing from speakers somewhere in the dining room. The way she beams, paired with the candlelight and the flowers and the sense of there being nobody in the world except the two of us, leaves me doing something wholly out of character.


    “Dance with me?” She blushes and lets out a giggle when push my chair back from the table. I’m certain she’s going to brush me off and tell me I’m crazy, but when I extend a hand to her, she ces hers against my palm and stands.


    “You’re the most perfect kind of crazy.”


    I can’t disagree. “It’s a good thing you already knew that.”


    Her petite frame melts into mine when I ce my hand against the small of her back and pull her close. The soft, gentle rhythm is easy to fall into, and soon we’re swaying in time. I’ve never considered myself a romantic–more like the farthest thing from it. Still, I’d be kidding myself if didn’t acknowledge the magic of this moment.


    If only she hadn’t mentioned her mother. I didn’t need a reminder of the dark cloud parked over my head. She casts a shadow on everything, all the time. I need to tell her Not yet. Not just yet.


    Let us have this night.


    “Are you okay? Where did you go?”


    I look down at her to find a puzzled, concerned look in her eyes. “I guess I was thinking about how old it makes me that I remember when this song came out.”


    Disbelief shines in her pretty eyes. “You’re such a liar.”


    “What? You don’t think I’m that old? I’ll do you one better. remember watching a guy lip–sync this song on an old TV show, with girls in golden leotards dancing in a circle around him. The 80s were a different time. Kinda like you had to be there to experience it.”


    “You know that’s not what I meant. I just… it looked… you looked at me like you were worried.”


    “My mind tends to wander sometimes. I’m sorry. I’m not worried, and you deserve my full attention, little bird.” My grin must be natural enough to convince her since she lets it be and instead rests her cheek against my shoulder, letting out a happy little sigh that unlocks something in my chest. Something warm and sweet.


    She keeps finding ways to crack me open and expose me to a more profound love than I’ve felt before. That love will never be enough to wash away my guilt, however. She deserves to know that I yed a part in her mother’s murder. I know I didn’t pull the trigger, but I didn’t have to to know I was partially responsible for her death. I’ve stirred up trouble in Caterina’s life for longer than I knew she existed, and I need to make things right. There needs to be a clean te for us moving forward.


    But not now. Not quite yet.I need to soak in her love a little while longer.


    Her shining, dark hair smells ofvender when I lower my head to ce a kiss on her temple. “1


    you. No


    matter what happens, no matter who gets in our way. I need you to know that will never change. In my heart, this


    is who and where we are. The two of us, dancing like this. Forever.”


    <b>+15 </b><b>BONUS </b>


    <b>“</b><b>I </b><b>wish </b><b>this </b>night would never end.”


    “We’ll have toe back here. This can be our ce. To hell with anybody who’s got a reservation—they cane back another time. I want to be here with my girl.”


    “Hopefully, one <b>day </b>soon, we won’t have to hide. Everything will be safe, and there won’t be any fears of Jack or his men attacking us.” I don’t know that we’ll ever have a day without any lingering fears of the enemy lying in wait, but I do know things will be better than they are now Eventually.


    “That day ising. I promise.” I hold her tighter, closing my eyes and sucking in deep breaths of her scent into my nose. Savoring her warmth, her body’s soft curves, and the way it moves with mine. “This is us, here, in this moment. Nothing is going to change us, I refuse to let that appen.‘


    I’m reminded then that there is no controlling Caterina. This is her life as well, and she deserves to have a say in what happens, so even if it kills me to lose her after my confession, I’ll have no option but to let her go if that’s what she wants.


    “I love you.” She lifts her head to gaze up at me, blissfully unaware of my worries. “And if the baby is a boy, <b>I </b>hope he looks just like you.


    A son. “I hope he has your smarts, because if he has mine, we’re in trouble.”


    “Don’t sell yourself short. You’re a pretty smart guy. I mean, how would you have gotten as far as you have if you weren’t?”


    Noment.


    It hasn’t all been about intelligence. There’s also a degree of ruthlessness involved, and I would rather my son not have to take the steps I did. “Smarts is only half of it. It’s no secret that I’ve made enemies in my line of work. I don’t want this for our children. They’ll have options, too. Choices. They won’t have to do the things I’ve done.” “Our children can do whatever they want, be whoever they want to be.” Caterina beams up at me. Knowing how happy she is, and the hope resonating in her leaves me feeling cautiously hopeful, as well. Like nothing but good things areing our way. A future full of happiness. That is unless she decides I’m not worth the risk when she finds out her mother didn’t have to know existed in order for me to end her life. If that’s possible, what’s possible for the people closest to me? I want Caterina to know she’s always safe with me, yet I can’t help being reminded of everything her father said. All of it was horrible, but they were all true.


    I’d love more than anything to bury the secrets, but Caterina deserves to know. She deserves to know everything.


    X