Before Feng Yan''s words were finished, Yu mu''an shook his head and said heartache, "there are some things that will never pass."


    "Are you blaming yourself or hating me?" Feng Yan bit his teeth. "Whatever it is, you are torturing me."


    "Sorry..." Yu mu''an suddenly bowed his head and apologized.


    "You''re not sorry for me. I just hope you don''t hide from me. I hope we can be like before." Feng Yan stretched his long arm across the table and held Yu mu''an''s hand.


    Yu mu''an couldn''t find a clue in his heart like a mess. He changed the topic and said, "eat first!"


    At night, Feng Yan was lying in bed with Yu mu''an, but Feng Yan suddenly turned over and hugged Yu mu''an, "are you still having nightmares? Dream of our children... "


    Yu mu''an''s body tightened and said, "occasionally!"


    "Me too." Feng Yan kissed Yu mu''an on the face, but his voice was very painful: "I dreamed that our child was asking me for help. She asked me why I didn''t go to her. She said she was afraid."


    Yu mu''an bit his lip. Unexpectedly, Feng Yan would have such a nightmare.


    Feng Yan continued: "I think we should have a good talk. Only the two of us understand the pain of losing children. Would you like to tell me what happened that night? The night the baby disappeared, too many things happened. I didn''t want to mention it before... But I can''t face it without mentioning it. "


    A scar that will scab is torn open again. The unspeakable second degree pain will torture people crazy.


    There was such a scar on Yu mu''an''s heart. When Feng Yan said this, she was still a little timid and had a weak voice: "I don''t know. My head is very messy... I don''t know whether what I experienced that night was illusory or real."


    "Even if it''s illusory, tell me." Feng Yan hugged Yu mu''an more tightly, "I talked to a psychologist surnamed Meng on the phone, and she told me to do so. She said, "it may be painful to recall, but if you don''t face it, the psychological burden will become heavier and heavier. I don''t know when it will become a psychological shadow."


    Just like his memory when he was a child.


    He doesn''t want Yu mu''an to have a burden like him.


    "If you tell me, I''ll tell you what I''ve experienced." Feng Yan sighed, "before you leave, we won''t calm down and have a good talk. Now, are you willing?"


    "But what about a good talk?" Yu mu''an buried his head in Feng Yan''s arms, involuntarily wet his eyes, tightly grasped Feng Yan''s pajamas, and choked with all his strength: "our child can''t come back! I regret it. Why did she torture her in the stomach so much at the beginning... She must blame me and hate me, so she doesn''t want to see me... "


    Feng Yan felt Yu mu''an''s trembling and felt very painful in his heart. He comforted: "no, she won''t blame you."


    "I won''t forgive myself..." Yu mu''an closed his eyes, but tears kept squeezing out of his eyes. "I clearly gave birth to her, and I even heard crying... They don''t believe it, they don''t believe it! They said that the child is gone, and they don''t even show me the last side... It''s my child, that''s my child! "


    "My child is not dead, it''s impossible to die... They don''t believe me, and the doctor said it''s gone..." the more Yu mu''an said, the more he couldn''t stop crying.


    When Feng Yan heard Yu mu''an''s cry, he was depressed and didn''t know what to do. On the one hand, he was distressed, but on the other hand, he was shocked and said, "I believe it."


    Yu mu''an was stunned. He suddenly looked up and looked at Feng Yan with tears. "Do you believe it?"


    Feng Yan nodded, "I don''t know what to say. I was waiting in the corridor that night. It seemed that I heard the child crying in the early morning, but... The doctor came out and said that the child was gone, and then I fainted. "


    "Did you hear that? Did you hear the child crying? " Yu mu''an was immediately excited, his eyes flushed, and cried, "what about my child? Where are our children? Why is it gone? "


    Feng Yan held Yu mu''an''s hand, rolled his Adam''s apple up and down, and said, "I''m not sure. The delivery room is far from the corridor, but no one else heard the cry. I don''t know if it''s my illusion. And then I thought, maybe I was born well, but... It disappeared later? "


    Yu mu''an''s hand suddenly loosened, his eyes dimmed, and he lost all his strength. Only tears kept flowing down his face, "no, still no! You cover the sky with one hand, but you can''t even protect a child... Don''t you want to protect a child? Why didn''t you keep it? Why didn''t you arrest all those doctors... Why? Why? "


    "I... I''m sorry." Feng Yan opened his mouth, but found that he could do nothing but apologize.


    "Sorry, what''s the use? I don''t blame you for having to protect your children in that situation, but why didn''t you protect your children? " Yu mu''an sobbed until he couldn''t stop.


    Feng Yan suddenly frowned and said, "what? Baby? You mean, I asked the doctor to protect the child the night you had an accident? Impossible! "


    Seeing that he was so firm, Yu mu''an looked at Feng Yan, "what does it mean to be impossible? Say more. The doctor asked you to protect adults or children. You said... Protect children. "


    "Fart! Where are doctors so unprofessional? "


    Feng Yan suddenly scolded a dirty word, which was the first time I heard him scold dirty words since Yu mu''an knew Feng Yan.


    Yu mu''an was stunned and forgot to shed tears. "Didn''t the doctor ask?"


    "Doctors are not so irresponsible. They are all maternal first. There is no problem of protecting the big and the small." Feng Yan raised his arm and looked at Yu mu''an, "but at that time, I still asked the doctor to ensure your safety first. You have a lot of money... What''s the matter? Why did you say that? "


    Yu mu''an sucked his nose and asked incredulously, "really? But Duoduo won''t lie to me. "


    "So, I''ve been thinking... I want children, not you?" Feng Yan raised his hand to wipe Yu mu''an''s tears and was angry in his heart, "do you think so?"


    "I......" Yu mu''an opened his mouth and closed it again. She did think so.


    Feng Yan was so angry that he didn''t know what to say. He snorted and leaned over to kiss Yu mu''an''s lips.


    Since words can''t express anger, anger and heartache, use action to express it!


    Feng Yan kissed Yu mu''an fiercely. When he released her, he said, "without you, what''s the point of I want that child."


    Yu mu''an''s eyes trembled. He put his hand against Feng Yan''s chest and looked at him deeply.


    "Believe me, my heart has never changed." Feng Yan kissed Yu mu''an on the cheek again, "I''ll find your good friend Qian Duoduo to check what she said."