《The Villainess Is An SS+ Rank Adventurer》 Chapter 1: To Cut A Shortcake The orchard within the Royal Villa was my home within a home. Undaunted by the tall shadows cast by the walls, the blossoming apple trees and flowering shrubs sung a song of springtime as they gently woke me from my afternoon nap. Rising from the grass, I cast open a bleary eye against the scattered sunlight filtering in between the tree leaves above me. Then, with a wipe of my hand, I noted the dampness by the side of my lips and quietly groaned. That I''d fallen asleep in the open was already a dereliction of form. That I''d done so while drooling was unforgivable. Were a maid to see me in such an unfettered state, the shame would dog me long after I''d fired them. Fortunately, there wasn''t a soul to spy my indiscretion. Although that wasn''t to say that nobody was in the villa or in the grounds. Servants, guests and guards were always abound. Usually by each other. And that''s how I enjoyed it. Indeed, there was nobody around me. As the fifth in the line of succession, it wasn''t necessary to have attendants herding my every step during a busy day of diplomacy. My role was to attend the necessary public gatherings while making as little fuss as possible. The intrigue behind closed doors was not mine to either witness or partake in, and as a result, I was broadly left to pursue the creative endeavours that a girl of my age was expected to demonstrate profuseness in. Knitting. Gardening. Tea making. Painting. Poetry. Dancing. Why, it was a terribly dull state of affairs. To be so far removed from the comings and goings of my father''s court while my own brothers and sisters advanced our family''s cause in the dizzying light of public approval. And that''s why¡ª ¡°Heh heheheh heheh ...¡± That''s why I jumped in joy. Hopping on the spot like an excitable rabbit, I leapt for the clouds as I realised I''d woken up from a nap and still didn''t have anywhere I needed to be! It was marvellous! An entire day spared from the drudgery of court politics! An entire day where I wasn''t subjected to the stench of old hags! No longer did I need to pretend I couldn''t see the sly nods traded in the corners and the pouches of crowns being passed beneath the tables! And that meant a day where I, Juliette Contzen, 3rd Princess to the Kingdom of Tirea, was free to indulge in the scholarly pursuits. I peeked around. Then, I quickly stepped across the roots of the apple tree, leaned down, and pulled out a book from the shrubs residing at the base. A bright red cover met my smile. Opening it, I made a childish squeal as the leaf being used as a bookmark fell down and I saw how much of the book I still had left to enjoy. Indeed, this book that was carefully and painstakingly hidden amongst the dirt and twigs was no treatise on history. Nor was it a recipe book for the decade''s most delectable dishes in the world of haute cuisine. It was ¡­ an adventure romance title. A Court Lady''s Indiscretion, Vol. III. Immediately, I wiped the side of my lips as my etiquette failed me once again. It was a wanton piece of literature that I had to order by courier and with a hefty bribe for discretion. But it was worth it. Written by an author claiming to be a noble-born lady, it detailed the truly shameless account of a romantic rendezvous with a castle guardsman. Of course, I knew it to be a fabrication. There was no highborn lady on this side of the continent who would jeopardise their standing due to an infatuation with a common soldier. Such a thing was purely in the realm of fairytales, whereas the world was built on ambition as unbending as cold iron. Yet even so, should even the slightest possibility exist ¡­ Why, it would be truly scandalous! Again, I wiped my face with the back of my hand. However, my own personal indiscretion by reading this title wasn''t ready to begin. There was a need for sustenance in order to fuel my reading session. And luckily for me, I happened to be surrounded by highly nutritious food. Looking up, I spied a perfectly ripe apple dangling from the lowest branch. And then I reached up for the strawberry shortcake hiding just past it. Smiling at how my day was proceeding, I went on my tip-toes and swiped, hopeful that my height had increased by several inches since I''d earlier tossed the shortcake amongst the branches. ¡°Uff ¡­ hrghh ¡­ hnnghh!!¡± It hadn''t. Admitting defeat, I instead unsheathed the sword all members of the royal household kept by their sides. Mine was merely ceremonial, of course. It was simply part of my dress. I was neither trained, nor expected to use a weapon. Should any situation arise, the guards could be relied upon to protect me. Why, there should be no issue if it was used as a cake prodder, right ¡­ ? Hugging the book to my chest, I reached up and gently tapped at the side of the branch with the face of the sword. The shortcake dropped with ease. As it fell, I angled my sword¡ª And allowed the nutritious snack to fall across the edge of the blade, cleanly slicing itself into two finger-sized pieces. Such was the keenness of the sword''s edge, that the shortcake could barely be seen to split. Only when I caught it in my hand did it separate. Two perfectly golden slices topped with cream and half a strawberry each revealed themselves to me. And now I knew it was fated to be a good day. ¡°Hm hm hm hm hmm ?.¡± Yes, it was a very good day. That is, until I heard the sound of hearty clapping. ¡°Not bad. One strike, eh? Your enemy never saw it coming.¡± Immediately flinging both the book and the shortcake slices into the shrub, I twisted around and held up my sword. If I could, I would''ve thrown myself in there as well. And probably also the person who saw me. Wiping away the childish joy from my face, I threw on my most dignified scowl and corrected my posture towards the man who was now holding up his hands. sea??h th§× NovelFire.net* website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. I didn''t lower my blade. An unknown man in roughspun travelling attire and the start of an unkempt beard. Clearly a hooligan. And sneaking up on a princess in the midst of her studies! Why, that was at least three capital crimes! This caused for nothing less than immediate execution. Or at least several knocks around the head, specifically the bit which held memories. ¡°This area of the grounds is private,¡± I said. ¡°Name yourself. You''re not a retainer. What are you doing here?¡± The man held up his hands slightly higher. And yet his act of docility neither matched his easy smile, nor the way he was casually admiring the blade pointed towards his direction as if it were a display piece. ¡°Woah there, let me confess first before you start putting holes in me.¡± I immediately looked at which part of his body seemed most susceptible to being stabbed. His smile faltered slightly. ¡°What I mean to say is, I''m not used to finding my way around mansions. Caban Oxwell''s the name. I''m acting as liaison with the Adventurer''s Guild. I was told the steward was in the gardens?¡± I maintained my scowl as I assessed the truthfulness of his claim. It was enough to make the man hesitate. His now uncertain smile almost completely fell off his face before I decided he was at least scruffy enough to look the part of an adventurer. From what I knew, they were little more than hired vagrants. ¡°This isn''t the gardens,¡± I said, lowering my sword, but not sheathing it. ¡°It''s the orchard. Return past the wooden gate and follow the path up the steps. You cannot miss it.¡± ¡°Right, right. Got it.¡± The man nodded. Only now lowering his hands, he retreated a few steps and turned around¡ªand then kept turning, until he was facing me again. ¡°So, out of curiosity, do all the noble ladies here need to have swords on them? Or just the ones who regularly fight off falling pieces of cake?¡± The abject humiliation almost caused my arm to shake. As I thought up a passable excuse, I defaulted to keeping my scowl in place. It was the one expression my parents had drilled in me to maintain when in public, since it was apparently better than looking bored and haggard. And I was exceptional at it. I didn''t have many praiseworthy achievements, but maintaining a scowl for a family record of 336 consecutive hours including sleep was one of them. The man looked uncertainly at me as I willed my brain to spin faster. And then I thought up a wonderful solution. ¡°Oh ¡­ Ohhhhoho! What in heavens are you referring to? What sword? What cake?¡± ¡°H-Huh? The sword in your hand? The cake you threw in the ...¡± ¡°There is no sword and no cake. I declare this as a member of royalty.¡± The man looked at me in utter confusion. I smiled victoriously inside. That''s right ¡­ when unable to answer a question, simply stamp the unyielding boot of authority instead! Why, this man was a self-confessed wayfarer and a clear commoner! Why should a princess need to explain her royal functions? Whether it be napping in the grass or slicing cake, every action I took was a calculated decision in service to the realm! ¡°Royalty ¡­ ?¡± The man looked puzzled. After a moment, he clicked his fingers. ¡°Aha! Then ¡­ you must be ¡­ uh ¡­¡± ¡°Princess Juliette.¡± ¡°Princess Juliette! Of course, I should have known. Your breathtaking mastery of singing is known far and wide across the continent!¡± I winced. My singing certainly was breathtaking. My mother once said that if I ever sung in a foreign land, it would be taken as a declaration of war. However ¡­ that was before the rigorous hours of vocal training, breathing techniques and pitch exercises I''d subjected my maids to! Indeed, if this unbiased and unpaid man was complimenting my humming, then perhaps it was proof that I''d outgrown the ability to shatter glass ¡­ ? ¡°T-Thank you ¡­ but I rarely offer the public the opportunity to hear my singing voice. In truth, I''m afraid I still have little confidence in it.¡± ¡°Oh. In that case, yeah. To be honest, I only came here because I thought an animal was dy¡ª¡± I opened my mouth, ready to shout for the guards to arrest this heinous criminal at once. And then I felt the drop of rain hitting my forehead. Terror seized me. I looked up at the sky, then marvelled and cursed in equal measure at how the few clouds to have inhabited the sky now seized this moment to choose a far greyer colour to adopt. Again, another raindrop struck me. It was light and refreshing. And that''s how it lured the innocent into not immediately dashing for cover. A sudden onset of spring rain was common in this kingdom. It came and went like the tides. And while I would normally still make for shelter, that would mean abandoning my most cherished possessions for the damp and mud. ¡°Yes, well, um, will that be all?¡± I discreetly stepped towards the shrub where the book and shortcake were hidden, hoping this would also signal the end of our impromptu conversation. ¡°If so, Sir Oddwell¡ª¡± ¡°Oxwell. And I''m no knight.¡± ¡°Very well, Mr. Oddwell. My time is very precious and I have matters of statecraft to attend to. Do you require any additional directions or ¡­ ?¡± The man gave me a strangely pained smile. Understandable. A chance meeting with a princess was undoubtedly any commoner''s foremost dream. But I would not sacrifice my precious volume or second lunch to entertain his happiness. ¡°Hm? Well, sure. Don''t suppose you could tell me where the bathroom is around here? I''ve been kinda dying to go since ten minutes ago ...¡± T-This man! What was he saying to a princess?! And the lack of tact! Just leave! ¡°There ¡­ There are public bathrooms in the guest quarters. You will have to return where you came, then find the clay roofed building adjacent to the portcullis.¡± ¡°Got it, thanks.¡± ¡°Excellent, then I''ll just¡ª¡± ¡°By the way, uh, why have you drawn your sword again?¡± It was just as the man said. I''d drawn my sword again. But it wasn''t to shoo away this highly talkative commoner, who likely had no inkling of the number of etiquette laws he was breaking by maintaining this conversation. No, it was for a far more important function. Umbrella duty. With a flick of my wrist, I batted away the next raindrop that had beelined its way towards the shrub. And then the next. And then the next after. As I bemoaned the contemptuous state of our kingdom''s weather, I looked towards the man, whose eyes had strangely widened. ¡°It is, um, improper for my dress to become wet.¡± ¡°What?¡± His abrupt, almost shocked response caught me by surprise. I paused for a moment in thought, before realising that as a wayfarer, he likely took both mud and rain in his stride. ¡°I cannot allow the rain to seep into my dress,¡± I kindly explained, even if this wasn''t the primary calamity I was avoiding. ¡°It would be unsightly. A princess cannot wander the grounds with their sodden garments clinging to their skin.¡± Yes ¡­ just like an adventurer. Although the rain had only been falling for mere moments, already I noted the clear dampness where the rain was falling across his shoulders and hair. And yet he seemed either oblivious or careless to it ¡­ even as some of it landed in his open mouth. ¡°With ¡­ With that?¡± He looked plainly towards the direction of my sword, held over my head as I swished away the hastening raindrops. ¡°Yes? I currently lack an umbrella.¡± ¡°An umbrella? You''re using your sword as an umbrella to¡­ to cut away the rain?¡± ¡°... I''m just preventing my dress from becoming wet?¡± I looked at this man in confusion. Far from my simple answer stating what should have been plainly obvious, he instead viewed me with ever widening eyes. This ¡­ This right here. This was precisely why I never spoke with commoners. That and the fact that the guards usually did a much finer job at keeping them at a distance. How was I supposed to explain an action as simple as protecting myself from the rain in easier to understand terms? Perhaps I should use hand gestures? Pictograms? Chest beatings? Or could it be ¡­ Ah-hah! I understood now! ¡°Oh, of course. I see now the sword by your side. I apologise, I did not take you as a swordsman. As you say, you are certainly no knight.¡± ¡°Huh?¡± I smiled kindly, embarrassed I did not spot the real issue at hand sooner. He must have been rendered speechless by the sword I was holding onto. ¡°Yes, this is the fabled rapier, Starlight Grace. One of the treasures of the kingdom, originally forged for my great-great-grandmother from ore claimed to have been carried from the stars. Sadly, the truth is that it''s assuredly terrestrial in make. Even so, it radiates a splendid light, wouldn''t you say?¡± Of course, even if he didn''t know the tale, he would still be able to appreciate my sword. It must be shocking to suddenly see such a storied blade being utilised before his eyes. I was remiss to not take such a consideration into account before wielding it. I suppose that the charitable action to undertake was to demonstrate its luminous qualities. He certainly wasn''t touching it. Knowing I now had an audience, I swung more than necessary, sweeping a line of rain away in a crescent. A sparkling trail was left in its wake. ¡°A wondrous sword, isn''t it? Of course, I understand your wish to hold it, but I must decline. This is a royal heirloom, and cannot be handled like a public curiosity.¡± ¡°N-No, Princess ¡­ That''s not what ¡­ How are ¡­ Where did you learn to do that?¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°That.¡± The man continued staring at my sword, even as I was forced to quicken my strikes to fling away each and every raindrop. In truth, I didn''t know how to answer. The light was certainly impressive. But it was purely a function of the blade''s meticulous craftsmanship, and also a dose of magic. I could hardly take credit for it. All I was doing was swinging the thing. ¡°I''m afraid I don''t know? It''s a natural effect of using this sword.¡± ¡°... I see. So the sword and wielder are one.¡± ¡°Hm?¡± I offered a querying tilt of my head. What I received back was a stiffening of shoulders and a straightening of the back, much like a guard jumping to their feet after being caught dozing by the inner gate. ¡°I apologise, Princess Juliette. It appears that I''ve been more than impolite. I''ve been impudent. Yet if I may be ruder still, may I inquire as to your swordsmanship grade?¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± I was so stunned that I allowed my hand to falter for a moment. I quietly groaned inside as my eyes glanced to the hint of bright red peeking beneath the leaves, then set my sword back to work on ensuring it remained bright red. ¡°Yes ¡­ which grade are you?¡± ¡°I have no grade,¡± I said simply, believing well and truly that this man didn''t possess a single marble behind his eyes. ¡°Why should I need one?¡± I''m a princess, for heaven''s sake! In what world would I be graded for my swordsmanship? Furthermore, what would that achieve? It was one thing to be chided by my tutors at courtly etiquette. To be yelled at by the master-at-arms for failing to beat up a straw dummy was quite another. ¡°I see ¡­ so you are above such things. Truly remarkable.¡± ¡°W-Well, in a manner of speaking?¡± I responded uncertainly to this strange man. More and more, I was wondering whether I needed to call the guards or the physician. Particularly to his lack of tact. As I busied myself with shooing away the rapidly pelting spring rain, the man continued to ogle both me and my sword without any indication that he intended to excuse himself. The sheer blindness to social cues would never have occurred with any dignitary. Or indeed, anyone with eyes. ¡°Princess!!¡± ¡°Hiee! Y-Yes?! What is it now?¡± All of a sudden, the man let out a loud exclamation and bashed his fist against his chest. I jumped in fright, then despaired at the thought I truly had to communicate via chest bumping. ¡°Please, Princess! If you''ve yet to receive a grade, I ask ¡­ no, I beg you! Allow me the opportunity to do so! Let me grade you!¡± ¡°Grade me?!¡± The man nodded. His expression was creased with unyielding seriousness. Bizarrely, he paid no heed to the rain dribbling down the front of his hair. It was as though the fire in his eyes burned away the wet and cold. ¡°Yes, Princess! Though a mere adventurer, I have some small renown with a sword! Please allow me the honour of grading your ability! It is, frankly, inexcusable it hasn''t been done already!¡± The man''s hand went to the sword hilt by his side. My mouth fell open. If a guard saw such an action being taken towards me, he would be hauled away in chains. And if he was lucky, still with his head on! Even conscious of my mouth being wide open, I lacked the capacity to correct myself. Aside from my sword still dutifully whacking the falling rain away, I was paralysed by the audacity of the request. ¡°Sir Oddwell¡ª¡± ¡°Oxwell. And I''m no knight.¡± ¡°Whoever. I cannot even consider entertaining this request. Not only is there nothing to grade, but such a thing would be utterly against all codes of conduct. Even bearing in mind your common station, it''s inexcusable that¡ª¡± ¡°Princess!¡± To my absolute shock, this grown man promptly dropped to both knees. A squishing noise sounded as his well-travelled clothes came into contact with the damp grass. ¡°I beg you this favour! Order me gone, kick me out or arrest me! But first, allow me to test the strength of your sword!¡± I looked at him in horror. Once, I''d had a young nobleman propose marriage by prostrating himself before a shocked hall. Another time, I''d had an entire tray of wine spilled on me by a blundering maid. Neither event fazed me half as much as the sight of a professional ruffian with unkempt hair begging me to undertake a swordsmanship exam. ¡°Th-That''s not necessary! Please stand! It''s unbefitting of you to beg in such a way! You ¡­ You must do so using one knee, maximum!¡± The man was unrepentant. He maintained his unsightly pose, causing my soul to wince with each passing moment. ¡°Princess, my request!¡± I let out a small groan. Especially as the spring rain now chose to peter out as swiftly as it''d come. That, I suppose, was a message from above. ¡°I ¡­ I could consider it ¡­ if the process is brief ¡­ very brief ¡­ and you depart immediately ¡­ how would you grade me ¡­ ?¡± ¡°The only way there is, Princess!¡± The man immediately jumped to his feet. I looked on in horror as his palm nestled around the top of his hilt. He gave a fiery smile that matched the vigour in his eyes. ¡°With a test of steel.¡± Keep Reading/Listening on Amazon’s Kindle, Kindle Unlimited and Audible! Hi there! Thank you so much for checking out the beginning to Juliette¡¯s noble quest to rescue her quality of life ¡­ and also her kingdom along with it! Book 1 is currently available on Amazon, Kindle Unlimited and Audible. You can read more about my publishing announcement here. 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Chapter 67: Snow Dancer [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 68: Thief, Sword Saint And Single [Removed for KU] Sear?h the ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 69: Cold Advice [Removed for KU] Sear?h the N?vel(F)ire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 70: Into The Fire [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 71: Unstoppable Force [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the N??elFir§×.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 72: Distant Horizons [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 73: High Level Diplomacy [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 74: Alchemist’s Ambition [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the N?vel(F)ire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 75: Tournament Of Crowns [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 76: Unwanted Gaze [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The N?velFire(.)net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 77: Falling Objects [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 78: Tales Of Ouzelia [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 79: Troll Hunting [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 80: Presence Concealment [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 81: Rock, Paper, Scissors [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 82: Dungeon Crawling [Removed for KU] Sear?h the n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 83: A Matter Of Perspective [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 84: Cold Reception [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The nov§×lF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 85: Frozen Lullaby [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The Novel?ire(.)ne*t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 86: Lockpicking For Dummies [Removed for KU] Sear?h the n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 87: The Wise Duke [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 88: Noughts And Crosses [Removed for KU] Sear?h the novel(F~)ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 89: Clash Of Snow [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 90: Dance Of Death [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 91: Matters Of Etiquette [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 92: Higher Ambitions [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× novel(F~)ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 93: A Fae Proposition [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 94: No Break [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 95: Academic Curiosity [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 96: Miss Racy Corset [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 97: Dragon’s Breath [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 98: Debts Outstanding [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 99: Worldly Appetite [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the novel(F~)ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 100: A Princess’s Reward [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 101: Guildmaster’s Quest [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the nov§×lF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 102: Late Dawn [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 103: Garter Belt & Stockings [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 104: Housekeeping Tasks [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 105: To Split The Darkness [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 106: Divining Fate [Removed for KU] Sear?h the Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 107: Rose House [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 108: Gold Digging [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 109: Adventurer’s Calling [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 110: Shadow Beneath Trierport [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 111: Golden Sands, Black Horizons [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 112: The Weight Of Gold [Removed for KU] Sear?h the Novel?ire(.)ne*t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 113: Letter Home [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 114: Bewitching Call [Removed for KU] Sear?h the NovelFire.net* website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 115: Siren’s Song [Removed for KU] Sear?h the n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 116: Trinkets A-Plenty [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Publishing Announcement! Hey everybody! Juliette is being released to the wide world of eBooks! This means more readers as I take a big step into the unknown. As a result, Book 1 of The Villainess Is An SS+ Rank Adventurer (covering the Rolstein arc) will be joining the Audiobook in releasing on 29/08/23. The eBook will be available on Amazon via Kindle and Kindle Unlimited. It can be pre-ordered now! Kindle Unlimited is Amazon''s subscription service for eBooks. It allows authors to reach a wider audience, at the cost of exclusivity. This means that once Book 1 is made available on its platform, it will no longer be available (in full) elsewhere. I''ve reached out to as many readers as I can through RoyalRoad, NovelFire, Reddit, Spacebattles and Sufficient Velocity. As the number of new readers I can reach has now levelled, it is an appropriate time to slowly also begin making my books available on additional platforms. This is quite a terrifying moment for me. As I''m entirely self-published, I hope that when the eBook releases, you''ll be there to support my goal of feeding myself through writing, and in the process provide you with even more content! Thank you so much for your support! Book 1 will be removed on 24/08/23, a few days before the official release. I''ll add a note in the title to make it clear how many days are left. sea??h th§× N?vel(F)ire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 117: Plan A [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the NovelFire.net* website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 118: The Gift Which Keeps Giving [Removed for KU] Sear?h the ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 119: The Lowest Expectations [Removed for KU] Sear?h the N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 120: Room Service [Removed for KU] Sear?h the ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 121: A Princess’s Tale [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 122: All That Glitters [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The N??elFir§×.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 123: A Loyal Handmaiden [Removed for KU] Sear?h the N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 124: Royal Negotiations [Removed for KU] Sear?h the N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Book 1 is now available on Amazon & Audible! Hey there! Juliette has finally been released to the wide world of eBooks and Audiobooks! Thank you so much for all the feedback, the advice and the scandalous comments you¡¯ve made about our noble princess. Reading your thoughts after each chapter (I read everything!) is a joy, and I¡¯m looking forward to what you think about what¡¯s to come! Your support has been invaluable in giving me the confidence to continue writing, and I would like to ask for your support so I can continue to write for you. As I¡¯m entirely self-published, this is a big scary moment for me. If at all possible, please consider dropping a rating or review on Amazon. Each rating or review will dramatically increase the number of people Juliette¡¯s gloating laughter will reach. Here are the links! Amazon: eBook Audible: Audiobook I won¡¯t ask for help without giving anything in return, though! In celebration of our noble princess¡¯s tour of kindle readers and car audio devices everywhere, I¡¯ll be posting an additional two bonus chapters today and another bonus chapter tomorrow! If we can reach 100 ratings within two weeks, I¡¯ll post even more! sea??h th§× n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Thank you for all your support. I hope you enjoy the additional chapters today! <3 I already posted a chapter today, so make sure you don''t miss it! Chapter 125: Stress Relief [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× nov§×lF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 126: Under New Management [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 127: Even Trade [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The N??eFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 128: The Lesser Of Two Evils [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 129: Breakfast Spread [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 130: Background Tree [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The novel(F~)ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 131: A Gentle Princess [Removed for KU] Sear?h the N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 132: A Promise In Scarlet [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 133: All Roads Lead To Soap [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 134: Second Impressions [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 135: Tomorrow’s Sins [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the Novel?ire(.)ne*t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 136: To Be A Dancer [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 137: Kingdom of Roses [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The NovelFire.net* website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 138: A Mammoth Task [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 139: Magic Tricks [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 140: Of Grease And Shadows [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 141: Ghosts Of The Past [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 142: Black Is The New Black [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× nov§×lF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 143: Virtues Of Faith [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 144: Last Words [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× N??elFir§×.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 145: A Matter Of Faith [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 146: The Risen Dawn [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 147: Haunted Town [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 148: Closed For Business [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the N?vel(F)ire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 149: Murder Fog [Removed for KU] Sear?h the nov§×lF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 150: House Of Horrors [Removed for KU] Sear?h the N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 151: Light In The Darkness [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 152: The Colour Of Evil [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 153: Holy Magic Immunity [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Book 2 is now available on Amazon and … soon Audible! Hey there! Coppelia has now joined Juliette in being released to the wide world of eBooks and ... soon Audiobooks! Yay! Thank you so much for all the support you''ve given me. It''s more than I could have hoped for. Your comments, theories and feedback is the fountain from which I draw the ability to continue posting updates at 4:27 AM. If you''ve enjoyed Juliette''s noble quest to stave off poverty thus far, please consider dropping a rating or review on Amazon. Each rating or review will dramatically increase the number of people Juliette¡¯s gloating laughter will reach, allowing me to write even more! S§×arch* The N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Here is the link: Amazon: eBook (The Audible version is in production. I''ll provide an additional update when it''s available.) Thank you for all your support. I hope you enjoy Halloween in Stermondt! Chapter 154: Celestial Knight [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 155: Evil Turns A Page [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 156: Terror In The Deep [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The N?vel(F)ire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 157: A Princess’s Standards [Removed for KU] Sear?h the N??eFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 158: Windfall Gains [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 159: Church Service [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The NovelFire.net* website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 160: Armour Of Faith [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 161: Heavens’ Judgement [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 162: By Royal Appointment [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 163: A New Dawn [Removed for KU] Sear?h the N??eFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 164: Old Ladders, Same Cats [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 165: First Amongst Equals [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× NovelFire.net* website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 166: Witch’s Brew [Removed for KU] Sear?h the Novel?ire(.)ne*t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 167: The Edge Of The Kingdom [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 168: The Blossoming Spring [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 169: Giant Hospitality [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the nov§×lF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 170: Growing Pains [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The N?velFire(.)net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 171: A Nymph’s Dream [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 172: Kingdom Building [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the N?velFire(.)net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 173: An Unwritten Future [Removed for KU] Sear?h the n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 174: Customs Declaration [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Book 3 Stub Reminder Hi there! This is a gentle reminder to new readers that Book 3 of the Villainess Is An SS+ Rank Adventurer (featuring a perfectly normally dressed Ophelia on the cover) will be stubbed on 23/12. Afterwards, a freshly edited eBook version will be made available on Kindle, KU and Audiobook. The Audiobook release date for Book 2 is January 30th. The Audiobook release date for Book 3 will be announced soon! Book 4 begins with Chapter 105: To Split The Darkness. As the preorder for both books are available, you can also have a peek at Renise Rimeaux''s cover on Amazon as well! Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy it!! S§×arch* The N?velFire(.)net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 175: Big Elven Secrets [Removed for KU] Sear?h the ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 176: Distant Relations [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the novel(F~)ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 177: Thief, Sword Saint And (Still) Single [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 178: An Unchanging Constant [Removed for KU] Sear?h the n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 179: A Matter Of Elves [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× N??eFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Book 3 is now available on Amazon and … soon Audible! Hey there! Ophelia and her famously normal personality has now joined the wide world of eBooks ... and soon audiobooks! As is the same with Books 1 + 2, this eBook has received a significant polish prior to its Kindle release. I hope you enjoy the extra editing! Thank you so much for all your applications to join Juliette''s entourage. Your comments and support allows her to continue her noble quest to ensure all the pillow makers of the world remain in gainful employment! If at all possible, please consider dropping a rating or review on Amazon. Your support matters and will dramatically help increase the number of people Juliette¡¯s gloating laughter will reach. sea??h th§× NovelFire.net* website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Here is the link! Amazon: eBook To celebrate Ophelia''s descent from the sky as she''s lifted down by her ducks, there will be a bonus chapter tonight, yay! Chapter 180: A Treatise On Royal History [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 181: Royal Inspection [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 182: A Helping Hand [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 183: Desperate Measures [Removed for KU] Sear?h the ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 184: Passing Grade [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 185: Hidden Faces [Removed for KU] Sear?h the n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 186: The Royal Entrance [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 187: A Toast To The Future [Removed for KU] Sear?h the N??eFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 188: Dreams Amidst Dusk [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 189: The Last Knight [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 190: A Ballet For The Stars [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 191: Painting Of The Soul [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the N?vel(F)ire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 192: Missing Guests [Removed for KU] Sear?h the ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 193: Bottom Of The Barrel [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the nov§×lF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 194: A Ballerina’s Touch [Removed for KU] Sear?h the ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 195: Future Prospects [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 196: Effective Delegation [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the novel(F~)ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Book 4 Stub Reminder! Hi there! This is a gentle reminder to new readers that Book 4 of the Villainess Is An SS+ Rank Adventurer (now featuring Renise in maid form) will be stubbed on 11/2. Afterwards, a freshly edited eBook version will be made available on Kindle, KU and Audiobook (soon?) If you''re interested in hearing Renise, you can do so on the recently released Audiobook for Book 2! Book 4 consists of chapters 105-135, with Book 5 beginning chapter 136. S§×ar?h the novel(F~)ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy it!! Chapter 197: Loser Takes All [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 198: When Midnight Yet Strikes [Removed for KU] Sear?h the ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 199: Where The Grass Is Greenest [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the N?vel(F)ire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 200: A Princess’s Duties [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 201: A Knife In The Distance [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the N?velFire(.)net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Book 4 is now available on Amazon and … soon Audible! Hi there! Renise in a her maid uniform has now joined the wide world of eBooks ... and soon audiobooks! Even though this is the same uniform she picked up in the dryad''s home, there appears to be a new accessory around her leg. Fashion trends are an alarming thing, even in the world of former nobility. Coincidentally and with no correlation, she has also received no complaints about her tea service. Like the volumes before it, this eBook has received a significant polish prior to its Kindle release, with many passages deserving a new shine. I hope you enjoy the extra editing! Thank you again for 201 chapters. Your comments and support ensures that only Juliette''s shadow is permitted to darken the horizon. If at all possible, please consider dropping a rating or review on Amazon. Your support matters and will help increase the number of innocent ears Juliette¡¯s gloating laughter will reach. sea??h th§× Novel?ire(.)ne*t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Here is the link! Amazon: eBook Chapter 202: Melting Snow [Removed for KU] Sear?h the n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 203: No Rest For The Wicked [Removed for KU] Sear?h the N??eFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 204: The Better Part Of Valour [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 205: Meetings Beneath Starlight [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 206: An Ordinary Prince [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 207: Breakfast In Bed [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× N?vel(F)ire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 208: Haggling For Beginners [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 209: Discount Paradise [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 210: Eye Of The Raven [Removed for KU] Sear?h the N??eFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 211: To Protect A Smile [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The nov§×lF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 212: Where Black Roses Bloom [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× Novel?ire(.)ne*t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 213: Taste Of Home [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The nov§×lF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 214: The Surest Antidote [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 215: Beauty Is A Beast [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 216: The People’s Princess [Removed for KU] Sear?h the nov§×lF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 217: Beneath A Different Light [Removed for KU] Sear?h the N?velFire(.)net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 218: A Daughter’s Choice [Removed for KU] Sear?h the nov§×lF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 219: Old Haunts [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 220: Unstable Matters [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× N?vel(F)ire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 221: Dress Code [Removed for KU] Sear?h the Novel?ire(.)ne*t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 222: Full Disclosure [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the N??eFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 223: Worst Case Scenario [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the N?velFire(.)net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Book 5 Stub Reminder + Audiobook 3 Release Announcement! Hi there! This is a gentle reminder to new readers that Book 5 of the Villainess Is An SS+ Rank Adventurer (featuring Miriam the romance book comrade) will be stubbed on 12/4. Afterwards, a freshly edited eBook version will be made available on Kindle, KU and Audiobook (soon?) In addition, the Audiobook for Book 3 will also be released on the same day! 11 hours and 25 minutes of Brenna! Yay! Book 5 consists of chapters 136-167, with Book 6 beginning chapter 168. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy it!! S§×arch* The ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 224: Tavern Brawl [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 225: Bottled Wisdom [Removed for KU] Sear?h the n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 226: A Single Piece [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× novel(F~)ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Book 5 is now available on Amazon + Book 3 on Audible!! Hi there! S§×arch* The N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Our favourite vampire librarian now graces the world of eBooks! If you wish to enjoy Juliette''s barbershop skills once again, you can do so with a fresh coat of editing in Book 5! But Miriam doesn''t step out into the shaded sunlight alone. Ophelia is now available as an audiobook. If you''ve always wanted to listen to Juliette eating sandwich melts and sending an elven woman into a pillar, now you can! Book 5: eBook Book 3: Audiobook Thank you so much for allowing Miriam the opportunity to read about herself. I''m not sure if she wants to, but at least the book is there if she gets bored of romance novels. There will be a chapter tonight, so see you later! Whether or not you pick up either of the copies, thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy the shenanigans to come! Chapter 227: The Dark Tower [Removed for KU] Sear?h the n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 228: The Greatest Wizard [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The novel(F~)ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 229: The Measure Of Fear [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The novel(F~)ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 230: Darker Than Darkness [Removed for KU] Sear?h the N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 231: Out With The New, In With The Old [Removed for KU] sea??h th§× n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 232: A Royal Invitation [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 233: A Dance For One [Removed for KU] Sear?h the n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 234: Tea Party [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the Novel?ire(.)ne*t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 235: Honest Work [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 236: Mutually Beneficial [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 237: A Reverie For The Soul [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the novel(F~)ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 238: Fragments Of Memories [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 239: Standing Start [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the N??eFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 240: Private Gallery [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 241: Until Now [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 242: Season’s Reprise [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 243: A Dream Of Spring [Removed for KU] S§×arch* The N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 244: Assorted Roses [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the N?vel(F)ire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 245: A Clockwork Wish [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 246: Something Beginning With ‘E’ [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the nov§×lF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 247: Subjective Mercy [Removed for KU] S~ea??h the N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Book 6 Removal Reminder! Hi there! This is a gentle reminder to new readers that Book 6 of the Villainess Is An SS+ Rank Adventurer (featuring Mirabelle aka she who must not be named) will be stubbed on the 9th. Afterwards, a freshly edited eBook version will be made available on Kindle, KU and Audiobook (soon?). Book 6 consists of chapters 168-207, with Book 7 beginning chapter 208. S§×arch* The N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy it!! Chapter 248: A Lesson In The Making [Removed for KU] S§×ar?h the nov§×lF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 249: Kingdom In Darkness S§×ar?h the N?vel(F)ire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 250: Tall Tales, Long Shadows S§×arch* The n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 251: Menu Options S§×ar?h the N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 252: Red Like Apples Sear?h the ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Book 6 is now available on Amazon + Book 4 on Audible!! Hi there! Our favourite guild receptionist, aka Mirabelle, aka The Herald Of Doom, now graces the world of eBooks! If you''d like to reread Juliette''s wyvern debate with a certain Elven King, you can now do so with a newly edited Book 6! Mirabelle is also joined by the ever sensible Renise for the release of Book 4''s audiobook. She only cameos in it, but the real star of the show is ... helped by a selection of background props. Sear?h the N??elFir§×.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Book 6: eBook Book 4: Audiobook Thank you so much for your support! If you''d like to help out more than you already do, feel free to drop a rating. It helps so much! Chapter 253: Alternative Ending Sear?h the N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 254: Charitable Ventures S§×arch* The N??elFir§×.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 255: Fast Travel S§×ar?h the n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 256: Educational Assessment S§×ar?h the N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 257: Fundamentals Of Magic, 101 S§×arch* The NovelFire.net* website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 258: An Ode To Darkness sea??h th§× n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 259: The More The Merrier sea??h th§× N?velFire(.)net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 260: No Exemptions Sear?h the N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 261: Safe Landing sea??h th§× ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 262: Take Two S§×arch* The ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 263: What Comes Around S§×arch* The novel(F~)ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 264: Caged Flames sea??h th§× N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 265: Spell It Like It Sounds Sear?h the novel(F~)ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 266: Practical Knowledge S§×arch* The N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 267: Breaking Trends S§×arch* The N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 268: Perils Of Academia sea??h th§× n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 269: Flexible Diplomacy S§×ar?h the ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 270: Matters Of Etiquette S§×ar?h the ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 271: Everything In Proportion Sear?h the n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 272: The Final Lesson S§×arch* The NovelFire.net* website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 273: The Witch Of Calamity sea??h th§× N??eFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 274: Eulogy Of The End S§×ar?h the novel(F~)ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 275: In The Red S§×arch* The N?velFire(.)net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 276: Terms & Conditions S§×arch* The Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 277: Divine Intervention S§×ar?h the Novel?ire(.)ne*t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 278: A Life Lesson S§×ar?h the N?vel(F)ire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 279: A Day In The Unlife S§×ar?h the novel(F~)ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 280: The Only Way Is Down S§×ar?h the N?vel(F)ire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Book 7 Removal Reminder! Hi there! S§×arch* The n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. This is a gentle reminder to new readers that Book 7 of the Villainess Is An SS+ Rank Adventurer (featuring the charming Baroness Arisa Sandholt) will be stubbed on the 25th. Afterwards, a freshly edited eBook version will be made available on Kindle, KU and Audiobook (soon?). Book 7 consists of chapters 208-248, with Book 8 beginning chapter 249. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy it!! Chapter 281: All That Is Gold sea??h th§× N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 282: Bonus Round Sear?h the N??elFir§×.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 283: Old Hands sea??h th§× N?velFire(.)net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 284: Late Fees sea??h th§× nov§×lF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Book 7 is now available on Amazon!! Hi there! Baroness Arisa Sandholt, famed painter and bar owner, now graces the world of eBooks! If you''d like to admire the Rose Princess''s works once again, you can now do so with a newly edited Book 7! Featuring a health dose of a certain maid and a sprinkling of the fae, it''s also the longest book by far. Thank you so much for your support! If you''d like to help out more than you already do, feel free to drop a rating. It helps so much! S§×arch* The Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Book 7: eBook (Yes, there is also a chapter tonight!) Chapter 285: Where The Fabled Winds Blow sea??h th§× N?velFire(.)net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 286: Through The Looking Glass Sear?h the n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 287: The Hidden Library S§×ar?h the ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 288: A Curtain Unfalling Sear?h the n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 289: The Last Stop sea??h th§× Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 290: Golden Welcome sea??h th§× n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 291: Laundry Day sea??h th§× N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 292: Standard Etiquette Sear?h the N??eFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 293: Not A Moment Too Soon S~ea??h the nov§×lF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 294: Heroic Considerations S§×ar?h the Novel?ire(.)ne*t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 295: A Maiden’s Words Sear?h the Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 296: A Hero’s Purpose S§×ar?h the N?vel(F)ire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 297: All Routes Lead To Doom sea??h th§× ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 298: Fortune Telling S§×arch* The ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 299: Bonus Spree S§×ar?h the ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 300: A Princess’s Blessing sea??h th§× N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Book 8 Removal Reminder!! Hi there! This is a gentle reminder to new (?) readers that Book 8 of the Villainess Is An SS+ Rank Adventurer (this time featuring a certain Miss Racy Corset) will be stubbed on the 25th. Afterwards, a freshly edited eBook version will be made available on Kindle, KU and Audiobook (soon?). S~ea??h the ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Book 8 consists of chapters 249-286, with Book 9 beginning chapter 287 (The Hidden Library). Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy it!! Chapter 301: A Familiar Tale S§×ar?h the N??elFir§×.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 302: Eye Opener Sear?h the novel(F~)ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 303: Shades Of Red S§×ar?h the N??elFir§×.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 304: An Eye For An Eye Sear?h the n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Book 8 is now available on Amazon!! Hi there! Miss Racy Corset has joined the world of eBooks ... in shopkeeper mode! I''m not certain what she has in that potion, but there is 100% chance it will cure you of all your ailments (one way or another). So before you drink it, please consider the opportunity to go over the horrifying gauntlet of bosses within the Royal Institute of Mages once again in a newly edited Book 8! Thank you so much for your support! If you''d like to help out more than you already do, feel free to drop the book a rating. It helps so much! Book 8: eBook (Yes, there is also a chapter tonight!) sea??h th§× ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 305: The Least And Most Expected sea??h th§× N??elFir§×.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 306: A Fated Reunion Sear?h the Novel?ire(.)ne*t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 307: Early Dawn S§×ar?h the N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 308: Royal Form Sear?h the N??elFir§×.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 309: A Golden Spite sea??h th§× Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 310: Into The Fire S~ea??h the N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 311: Forbidden Texts S~ea??h the n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 312: The Cost Of Reward S§×ar?h the Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 313: Footprints In The Water S~ea??h the ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 314: Mutual Understanding Sear?h the n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 315: A Familiar Scent S§×arch* The novel(F~)ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 316: Everything In Moderation S§×ar?h the n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 317: Professional Adventuring S~ea??h the NovelFire.net* website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 318: Historical Grievances S~ea??h the N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 319: To Soothe A Soul S§×arch* The Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 320: A Prince’s Patronage S§×arch* The N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 321: Open For Business S~ea??h the N?velFire(.)net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 322: The Other A-rank sea??h th§× novel(F~)ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 323: Going Forwards, Backwards S§×ar?h the n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 324: A Simple Decision sea??h th§× n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 325: Skipping Steps S§×ar?h the NovelFire.net* website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 326: Too Much Of A Good Thing Sear?h the N??eFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 327: Cultural Exchange sea??h th§× N??elFir§×.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Ouzelia Story Read Reminder! Hi there! Elise is heading over to the wide world of eBooks! If you haven''t read A Part-Time Heroine''s Guide To Dragonslaying (The Ouzelia Story), be sure to do so before the 27th when it will hop over to Kindle. The story is only 20 chapters long, so you can easily read all of it in one cozy winter sitting! Thank you for reading and supporting Elise! There will be more of her perfectly normal heroine shenanigans to come. sea??h th§× ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 328: Mandatory Safety Sear?h the ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 329: Colour Coordination S§×arch* The N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 330: The Next Rung sea??h th§× ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 331: Forwarding Doom S~ea??h the n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 332: Discount Madness S§×arch* The n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 333: Critical Failure S§×ar?h the novel(F~)ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 334: Falling Upwards S~ea??h the N?velFire(.)net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 335: Her Name S§×ar?h the n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 336: One Leaf, One Whisper, Ten Thousand Sorrows S§×ar?h the N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 337: A Lost Soul S§×arch* The N?velFire(.)net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 338: A Crown’s Worth S~ea??h the n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 339: Tremors In The Dark S~ea??h the ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 340: Terror Of The Depths S§×ar?h the novel(F~)ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 341: A Toast To Tomorrow S~ea??h the ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 342: Golden Hour sea??h th§× novel(F~)ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 343: A Princess’s Dignity sea??h th§× Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 344: The Worst Case Scenario sea??h th§× NovelFire.net* website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 345: Chasing Mirages S~ea??h the N??eFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 346: To Douse The Flames S§×arch* The n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 347: Oasis Of Dreams Upon the road towards the Wessin Bridge, the forest stirred to a gentle whisper. All around me, the leaves danced beneath the warmth of the final weeks of spring. As the sunshine flickered amidst the blooming foliage, the sound of Apple¡¯s leisurely trots was joined only by the rustling of shrubs, the chirps of robins and the occasional scream in the distance as a hooligan was consumed by the deadly cockatrices which also lived in my forests. Normally, that is. Because right now ¡­ a moment of peace opted to visit me instead. Within the light drifting between the shifting canopy, I caught dandelions floating by like sparkling feathers in the air. The gentle aroma of wild meadows was overcome by hints of earthen scents. And the colours of honeysuckle and jasmine bloomed like snatches of summer¡¯s impatience. Ohohohoho! Indeed ¡­ it was utterly marvellous! Despite the attempts of every ruffian so inebriated they didn¡¯t keep their plans to darken my kingdom in the tavern corners where they belonged, the sun continued to seek my energising smile for nourishment. Why, it was so peaceful that not even a fruit slime could be seen bouncing away! ¡­ And that was possibly also just the slightest problem. I peered hopefully around me. Much to my confusion, I didn¡¯t see a single substitute mailbox for the important task of improving my [Spring Breeze]. This was highly unusual. There were enough blackberries in the bushes that both Apple and Coppelia had agreed to a temporary truce as they only devoured my kingdom from their own respective side of the road. In fact¨C Far from competing with the fruit slimes, they didn¡¯t have to compete with anyone. Not a single hint of spotted fur, a wet nose or a bushy tail swept through the underbrush. There were no fawns lifting their heads before skipping away. No squirrels hurriedly climbing the oaks with acorns dribbling from their mouths. No hedgehogs trembling before rolling into a ball. And not a single badger subtly making its way back into the many illegal holes in the ground. There was nothing. Nothing at all. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. ¡°... Coppelia?¡± ¡°Mmh?~¡± My loyal handmaiden looked up from a shrub. She beamed and held out her palm filled with blackberries. ¡°You want some? They¡¯re tasty and not poisonous.¡± I leaned slightly away from the blackberries, conscious of what happened to the last person who consumed berries harvested by her hands. Even now, I sometimes closed my eyes and saw tubes of vomit exiting a helmet. ¡°N-No, I shall pass, thank you ¡­ although I¡¯m grateful you went straight to the important point.¡± ¡°They¡¯re tasty?¡± ¡°Yes. But also that they¡¯re not poisonous. Out of curiosity, how do you know with your constitution if they¡¯re safe for princesses to eat?¡± ¡°Ah, that¡¯s easy! You just have to know what to look for. You see, when picking wild berries, it¡¯s important to carefully check to see if there¡¯s any dead humans nearby.¡± ¡°I see.¡± ¡°... Sure you don¡¯t want any? They¡¯re better than what we buy from shopkeepers.¡± I smiled. ¡°It¡¯s fine. Thank you. It would be unbefitting of me to take what is available exclusively for my retainers and the garden critters of my kingdom. Speaking of which, I was wondering if you noticed that it seems a little ¡­ peaceful?¡± ¡°Oh, I noticed straight away. I¡¯m already checking around me every 5 seconds.¡± ¡°You are? For what?¡± ¡°The explosion. Don¡¯t worry, when everything catches fire, I¡¯ll be ready.¡± I was aghast. ¡°Coppelia! ¡­ Just because there¡¯s a moment of quiet doesn¡¯t mean it has to be immediately followed by something blowing up!¡± My loyal handmaiden simply tilted her head and blinked. I pursed my lips. Then ¡­ I also peeked around me. ¡°... Do you think it¡¯ll be man eating fire breathing death beetles again?¡± ¡°Nah, the ground¡¯s too beat up here. They don¡¯t like burrowing under roads. Even exploding carnivorous insects need to sleep.¡± ¡°I see ¡­ what do you think it could be then?¡± Coppelia hummed in thought, all the while tossing blackberries into her mouth. ¡°Well, maybe you won? You do look all mean whenever a badger pokes its head out. At some point, even nature needs to get the point right?¡± I shook my head at once. Those who sought to nibble on the undefended leaves of my orchard were mysteriously absent, yes ¡­ but as amazing as I was, this was one of the few battles I couldn¡¯t have won. After all, small fluffy animals were drawn to me like moths to a flame. No matter where I cast my gaze or how appalled my expression, I could be guaranteed a menagerie peering back at me. It was only natural. As a beautiful princess, I lived a life of hardship with as many downsides as zero. But every now and again, that number briefly rose to one as the various critters of my kingdom sought to invade my personal space. ¡°Do not underestimate the resilience of badgers,¡± I said, my warning stark. ¡°They can survive in all conditions and all seasons. More importantly, they can survive my scowl. They care as little for my displeasure as they do the wholeness of my orchard.¡± Coppelia nodded. Then, she plucked a budding peony from a shrub and stuffed it in her mouth. ¡°Well, if they¡¯ve run away, it usually means something even scarier took their place. Small animals and weak monsters are pretty quick on the uptake when a new big guy comes along. Even if they can survive your scowl, I doubt they can survive a hungry manticore.¡± ¡°A hungry manticore would be a relief. They¡¯re famously protective and organised with their habitats.¡± ¡°What if it¡¯s a rotted ghoul blighting the land it shambles on?¡± ¡°That¡¯s very unlikely. If the Grand Duchess entered my kingdom, I would know.¡± ¡°What if it¡¯s a bewitchingly dressed dancer able to charm every animal in a forest while a magical floating ensemble plays in the background?¡± ¡°... Yes.¡± I nodded as I peered ahead. ¡°I suppose that makes for a very reasonable explanation.¡± Coppelia smiled as she raised a hand to her brows. All I saw was a colourful blur. Even so, I heard it before I saw it. Music. It was as boisterous as any which could be found in the corner of a tavern. A bright and optimistic melody which ruffled the leaves as well as any breeze. Except this tavern consisted of a forest. And all its inhabitants were now gathered as a mesmerised audience. It was an astonishing sight. A literal flock straight from a fable sat together, tails wagging as they enjoyed a rare spectacle. Deer, hedgehogs, rabbits and all the missing fruit slimes sat together, joined by birds of every rainbow shade perched upon branches, their chirps lost to the sound of music. A lyre harp, a pan flute and a tambourine worked in unison, plucked, played and drummed by invisible hands as they floated in the air, their silhouettes immersed in a violet glow. It was the same colour as the tiny tent pitched by the side of the road. A tent at risk of being physically swept away. The dangling leaves above it were more durable. So thin was its fabric, even the palest breeze was enough to cause its entrance flap to billow. The owner clearly didn¡¯t mind. Her smile was as colourful as the songbirds in the branches above her. And also as much as her attire. Painted in the shades of a twilight sky and dotted with sequin gemstones, it matched well with her hair. Flowing black as midnight, two elegantly braided strands fell upon bare shoulders as golden as the sands from which she hailed. Here was a maiden who would have the inhabitants of my taverns tossing coins at her for a moment of her company. They would need to offer more. After all, her profession wasn¡¯t one known for accepting insults. A dancer from the Kingdom of Dunes. A vaunted profession in the land where tales were first said to be born. Whereas everywhere else, dancers were little more than jesters and drunkards, in the Kingdom of Dunes, they were amongst the most respected and oldest of careers, requiring arduous training as long as my own in being a princess. Often since they were treated as one. Courtesans. Diplomats. Spies. And very occasionally ¡­ performers in my forests. Barefooted but with a curtain skirt, all her stomach was exposed as she danced on the spot, a pair of large circlets balancing upon her arms feeding ribbons of fabric as long as the tails of my dresses. As she moved, her long hair flowed behind her like black ink shifting upon a palette. And her audience were my garden critters. Naturally, I was shocked. Why, this woman ¡­ she had mesmerised an entire section of my forest! I ¡­ I could abuse this! Such a unique power! If I could use it to keep the unwanted visitors of my orchard in place, then I wouldn¡¯t even need my delicate gardening techniques! I could simply command the servants to hoist them to the other side of the kingdom! However, just as I wondered why such a technique wasn¡¯t already known to me¨C Hrrpmh. I realised it had a fatal weakness. It was susceptible to horses. Apple snorted. And then the spell was broken. As though a brave and loyal tax inspector had entered a tavern, the music ceased, the instruments collapsed ¡­ and every patron darted or bounced away in every direction. Within moments, all the colours which had gathered were no more. Instead, they were now seen only in the attire of the dancer, her little tent, and also her smile as she offered not a hint of acrimony at being rescued from her audience of garden terrors. For although her footwork had ceased, her performance had not. ¡°Greetings, customers!¡± said the dancer with all the professional enthusiasm instilled in her. Her arms elegantly spread out as she offered a deep bow. ¡°Welcome to the Oasis of Dreams.¡± I raised an eyebrow ¡­ all the more so as I took in the little sign pitched beside the tent. Oasis of Dreams. One time entry. That was it. No information. No price. No warnings. sea??h th§× N?vel(F)ire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. My, wasn¡¯t this quaint? A dollop of mystery straight from the onset. And yet her skills couldn¡¯t be denied. The finest dancers were said to be able to charm kings and queens. She wasn¡¯t quite there yet. But she was better than the energetic bards who innkeepers hired to ensure the rats scuttling in the ceilings weren¡¯t alone in their efforts to promote insomnia. And here she was by the side of a dirt road, entertaining an audience unlikely to pay her. I tugged on Apple¡¯s reins to bring him a little closer. ¡°Salutations,¡± I said with a polite smile. ¡°My apologies for my horse disturbing you in your performance. It was quite lively. The hedgehogs seemed particularly impressed.¡± The dancer bowed again. ¡°Thank you, dear customer! Praise from a stranger is a gift from unseen bonds. It¡¯s my calling to offer my performances to all who may look upon them. This doesn¡¯t exclude the animals of the forests, whose love of song and dance is inscribed into their every movement.¡± ¡°Quite so. I saw it even as they sat stock still. May I ask how you can charm them to such an extent?¡± The dancer offered a tinkling, playful laugh. Already I could hear a handful of the creatures peeking back from the edges of the underbrush. ¡°You could. But I¡¯m afraid I wouldn¡¯t be in a position to answer. The secrets of my craft are older and more guarded than any spell woven by mages ¡­ and also, I should add, quite a bit more precarious.¡± I nodded, neither surprised nor disappointed. After all, as certain as I was that I could learn the secrets of sand dancing in a busy afternoon, my ballet teacher would doubtless be less than impressed. That¡¯d be awful. She was one of the few tutors who didn¡¯t deem it necessary to impart knowledge via books to my head. If possible, I wished to keep it that way. ¡°Oh? Then I wonder if what I¡¯ve heard is true. It¡¯s said that those who have learned to dance in the oldest halls keep their secrets so well that the finest are not even known, for they keep their art to none but themselves.¡± ¡°You¡¯ve heard well. And while I cannot confirm or deny this, I hold no regrets to say that my name is very much well known. I am Amissa the Benevolent. Have you heard of me, dear customer?¡± ¡°I haven¡¯t. I know few dancers and even fewer who would ply their trade in a forest. It is a strange place to practice your craft. Are you perhaps stopping on the way to important business?¡± The dancer¡¯s smile blossomed as she gestured all around her. The circlets swung effortlessly upon her arms, followed by a trail of ribbons. ¡°My business is right here, amidst the leaves, the fading spring and the watching deer.¡± I leaned away slightly so I wouldn¡¯t be hit. ¡°Is that so? ¡­ Then you do yourself a disservice. Although the deer are doubtless appreciative of the distraction, they also lack the hands needed to applaud. You¡¯re unlikely to earn the accolades you deserve by the side of a muddy road in a forest.¡± ¡°True, which is why I also have my tent.¡± She duly pointed at it. A tent so small that it could do nothing but hold whatever wardrobe of instruments and clothing she possessed. ¡°I see ¡­ and what is the purpose of this tent ¡­ ?¡± ¡°It¡¯s as the sign says, of course! This is the Oasis of Dreams. And for travellers who wander past, whose hearts are heavy and bodies are weary, I extend an invitation. Inside my tent, they may offer what applause they wish in return for the paradise I provide.¡± ¡°How very mysterious. And what is the cost of this vague service ¡­ again, by the side of the road?¡± ¡°Free.¡± ¡°Free?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t charge money. The joy I offer is a gift, as are the smiles of my customers.¡± Hmmmmmmmm. A beautiful dancer loitering on the side of a muddy road like a common highwayman. Check. A mysteriously pitched tent scarcely large enough for one. Check. A vague service with absolutely no cost involved other than a somewhat telling warning that entry was a one time only affair. Check. I gave it a moment¡¯s thought ¡­ and then I nodded. So! Very! Suspicious! ¡°Uwaah~¡± Coppelia nodded, highly impressed. ¡°I wonder how many corpses are in the tent.¡± ¡°Hm?¡± The dancer gently lifted a hand to her ear, the lie already playing on her lips. ¡°My apologies, dear customer, but I didn''t quite catch those words.¡± ¡°My loyal and very similarly minded handmaiden expressed her curiosity regarding what paradise may be found within your tent. It appears somewhat stuffy in there.¡± ¡°Do you think so? Perhaps from the outside. And yet within, there¡¯s more than enough space for one to find all the peace of mind that is ever needed.¡± Interesting. I wondered which blunt instrument she favoured for inducing peace of mind in her customers. ¡°... Very well!¡± I said, smiling with a clap of my hands. ¡°I admit my curiosity. Especially in regards to ensuring all regulations are being followed. If you¡¯re not selling goods or services, then you¡¯ve no need for any trading permits¨Cbut there are laws regarding public safety and common vagrancy I still need to take into account.¡± The dancer merely gave a bat of her eyelashes. ¡°Curiosity is the boon of life. It is what drives all hearts towards the next endeavour. Would you like to enter the Oasis of Dreams?¡± ¡°No, but duty compels me to investigate. What will I find inside?¡± ¡°As I said, paradise.¡± I pursed my lips. A moment later, I dismounted from Apple and gave him the finger point to tell him that if the highly suspicious woman tried to murder me, he should immediately proceed to eat her hair. He snorted. I nodded. It was enough for me. Thus, happy that all instructions were clear, I promptly made my way to the tent. The woman didn¡¯t move from her spot as she happily gestured for me to enter. I obliged by tugging at the very edge of the entry flap ¡­ and then peeking inside. Much to my surprise, the dancer certainly wasn¡¯t lying. It was significantly larger on the inside. Even more to my surprise, there wasn¡¯t a single corpse or blood stain. Instead, it was a veritable pavilion filled with more carpets and cushions than could be found in a typical basement in the Summer Kingdoms. A rectangular table sat in the centre, adorned with silver tableware, jugs and cutlery. Over it was a brightly lit chandelier, its candles unneeded against the light which seemed to pour through the fabric of the tent. An unexpected sight. But nothing compared to what I saw as I stepped away. Because much to my chagrin ¡­ I found that the tent from the outside was now as big as it was on the inside. A white pavilion greeted my eyes, its fabric so bright it reflected the sun. The same sun which beat down upon me with all the force of a kitchen halfway through their daily quota of baking everything I wanted in my mind despite my preferences changing daily. It was hot. So very hot. Yes ¡­ just like the sand beneath my boots. I turned around. Gone was the muddy road, the oak trees and the scent of wild grass. Instead, only a handful of palm trees existed to shield me from the unremitting heat ¡­ as well as an enormous pool of glimmering water as blue as purest sapphire, ringed by a smattering of reeds. An oasis. In the desert. With the only breeze coming with a sound like the draft from a chimney. All of a sudden, the dancer appeared behind me. The smile she wore was as comely as the one she displayed just a moment ago under the leaves of my forest. Her attire, exactly as it was, now matched the brightness of the sky. In fact¨C There was just one thing different about her. Her dancer¡¯s legs were no more. Instead, a lightly swirling gust of visible air swept like smoke beneath her hips. ¡°Welcome, dear customer!¡± said the djinn, smiling with unabashed joy. ¡°To the Oasis of Dreams!¡± Chapter 348: Customer Service Djinn. There were as many peddlers of wishes as there were barkeepers in my kingdom. For just a handful of crowns and the bottom of a cup, even the muddiest peasant could see their most treasured dream of personally disappointing me as a servant come to fruition. But those who weren¡¯t barkeepers? Purveyors of falsehoods. Con artists at the level of a troll merchant whose claims that a bottomless bag was worth far more than 500 gold crowns and that I would never once secretly regret purchasing it while rolling back-and-forth in the middle of the night as I thought about which two books I could have bought instead. After all, the magic of wishes was not for any mage to cast, nor any vendor to sell. That was exclusively the realm of swindlers and tricksters. The djinn ¡­ were absolutely no exception. Taking the form of beautiful maidens and handsome gentlemen, these spirits were as vain as they were unhelpful. They had their own narrative, of course. A carefully curated tale of generosity woven by the charm of their smiles and the allure of their promises. A wish here. A wish there. A dragon¡¯s hoard for a peasant or an empire for a lord, each tossed as freely as carrots beneath the dining table. But for all the folklore they hoped to spew, their reputation was stronger. Childish at best and malevolent at worst, the djinn were little more than larger nymphs¨Cincluding the amount of mischief they could cause. Despite their ability to make the wishes of mortals come true, they were also famously blas¨¦ about the finer points. Because more often than not, that dragon¡¯s hoard also came with the dragon. And that kingdom came with poison in every cup. Even so ¡­ for all their unpredictability, their powers couldn¡¯t be denied. As spirits who commanded magic more ancient and enigmatic than any archmage could command, they could shatter a kingdom as easily as the expectations of those who failed to heed the warnings. For beneath the surface was pride as temperamental as their whims. Unfortunately for the djinn, I was a princess. And this meant my pride had priority. ¡°Hm hmm hm hmm hm ?.¡± Thus, I hummed to myself while tossing away everything I saw. Pillows, carpets, goblets and plates. Everything but the sand beneath my boots was launched behind my shoulder as I went through the djinn¡¯s abode like a hedgehog through my rhododendrons. Firstly because they were an eyesore. Secondly because they were in the way. Again and again, pieces of loose upholstery or tableware went flying behind me ¡­ each sadly missing the observing maiden who was standing, or rather, hovering by the entrance. ¡°... Dear customer, may I ask what you¡¯re doing?¡± ¡°Hm?¡± I turned around, wiping a non-existent bead of sweat from my brows. ¡°Ah, my apologies for the commotion. I¡¯m searching for something.¡± ¡°Goodness, I had no idea! I thought you were simply ransacking my home. And what is it you¡¯re searching for? I might be able to help. Customer service is my forte.¡± ¡°Oh? Very well. then. I¡¯m searching for a magic lamp.¡± ¡°A magic lamp? That¡¯s quite a rare thing. May I ask what you need it for?¡± ¡°Certainly. I need a magic lamp so I can break it and return to my kingdom where the sun doesn¡¯t threaten to incinerate my forehead. Now, where might this source of your magical power be?¡± The djinn giggled. A sound so melodic that songbirds would take note, if only to learn how to disturb my naps more. ¡°I¡¯m afraid I¡¯m not sure. My magic lamp no longer has any ties to me. I was released so many years ago that the memories have faded into the sand. I¡¯m now a wandering spirit, free to travel where I desire, to aid those whose souls are lost in plight ¡­ and I see from your urgency that you¡¯ve arrived at the Oasis of Dreams not a second too late.¡± ¡°Yes, well, that much is obvious. I recently saw a goblin marketplace more organised than this. Upending this tent has only made it better.¡± The djinn¡¯s beautiful smile creaked. A moment later, she rose a few inches in the air. The swirling mist beneath her intensified, and a warm light even brighter than the sun gathered around her silhouette. ¡°Dear customer, I see you¡¯ve many questions,¡± she said in a deliberately soft voice. ¡°And although your reaction of instantly desecrating my carefully organised pavilion is different to every single visitor I¡¯ve had until now, I offer my reassurances. You have nothing to fear from me. For I am here only to help shed the weight from your soul.¡± I clapped my hands in delight. ¡°... My, why didn¡¯t you say so! I apologise, I react adversely to being kidnapped by loitering djinn masquerading as strange women by the side of the muddy road.¡± ¡°That¡¯s understandable. Being kidnapped by strange women sounds like a frightening ordeal. Fortunately, I am Amissa the Benevolent. And my only oddity lies in my kindness.¡± ¡°Wonderful. Then you can kindly send me back to where I was.¡± The djinn smiled. All the while not sending me back. ¡°... Hm. How unusual. Perhaps you¡¯ve been disoriented by the blinding sun? Normally this is where I explain who I am and what the Oasis of Dreams is. It¡¯s very rare for anyone to show so little curiosity in a djinn or the stress reducing paradise around them.¡± ¡°My curiosity lies in how my handmaiden steals the pillow without the dent in it while my face is still buried within it. Why I¡¯d be kidnapped is less of a mystery. Now, will you be sending me back?¡± ¡°Certainly! ¡­ But are you sure you don¡¯t wish to tour the wonderful healing oasis first?¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure, yes.¡± ¡°It¡¯s just that I¡¯ve worked tirelessly on arranging it. It wasn¡¯t easy. Even as a djinn, encouraging life to bloom in the most arid of locations is a stunning feat.¡± ¡°You should continue tending to your work, then. Perhaps until it becomes a verdant forest. For example, the one I¡¯m waiting to return to.¡± I tapped my foot. And then I waited. A concept utterly foreign to me. My tapping foot was the only thing stronger than the servant¡¯s bell. The fact that I wasn¡¯t already looking around for ambushing squirrels was a disgrace. The djinn said that customer service was her forte. Yet were this the Royal Villa, every steward would be desperately rushing to do every task while wondering which specific one I wanted done. Eventually, however, her shoulders fell. ¡°Very well ¡­ it¡¯s clear I was mistaken in bringing you here. In that case, I apologise wholeheartedly for any distress caused. I am unused to the traditions of humans. As a benevolent spirit, I only sought to offer a moment of respite from the troubles which plague your heart.¡± I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. ¡°... Truly?¡± ¡°Truly.¡± ¡°No ulterior motives? No hidden schemes? You just ¡­ want to show off an oasis?¡± The djinn smiled amicably. Then, she leaned to her side ¡­ and swept away the entrance to the pavilion. ¡°Not just an oasis,¡± she said brightly. ¡°But a healing oasis. Please gaze upon the glittering waters. Do you feel the wicked desires of your heart fading away? Good. Note also the swaying palm trees and allow the corruption within you to bleed away to the calming sight. Because once you¡¯re done, you can also immerse your eyes upon the carefully combed golden dunes in the distance. Feel your mushy and frail body relax as you peer upon the unbroken sand.¡± I winced, not seeing a thing amidst the sunlight melting my eyes. ¡°It¡¯s very blinding.¡± ¡°Wonderful! I¡¯m so happy the experience had such a positive effect on you. And now that you¡¯re healed, you may leave. I sense another customer in need of my oasis coming down the road.¡± I blinked, as much to repair my eyes as study the djinn¡¯s highly unusual demeanour. ¡°I see ¡­ and where is the door?¡± ¡°There is no door. You need to wish your way out.¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°You need to wish in order to exit. Not just in your head, but also out loud.¡± ¡°You¡¯re asking me to make a wish?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Can you not simply send me back the way I came?¡± ¡°I could. But the logistics of sending you back isn¡¯t quite as straightforward as bringing you here. Because of reasons. As a result, the complex teleportation spell required is far less reliable than even the most reckless would dare. However, if you were to make a wish, then the magic imbued upon me would guarantee your safe and prompt return.¡± The djinn offered a pleasant smile. I smiled in response. And then¨C I jabbed my finger towards her. ¡°What sort of scam is this ¡­ ?!¡± ¡°This isn¡¯t a scam.¡± ¡°This is a scam! I don¡¯t know what it is, but I can smell it like a rotting trout!¡± ¡°This isn¡¯t a rotting trout. It¡¯s the Oasis of Dreams.¡± ¡°Why do I need to make a wish to exit a dream?! What is your motive?! Even without kidnapping me, there is clearly something shady about this!¡± ¡°There¡¯s nothing shady at all. This is a legitimate healing enterprise. Look.¡± The djinn pointed to the side. There, stuck upon the fabric wall was a scroll of parchment. I leaned in to read it. Amissa the Benevolent. Proprietor of THE OASIS OF DREAMS. The Magic Lamp Society. #1 ranked djinn by wishes successfully delivered. The floating maiden smiled proudly. ¡°You see? ¡­ Not only is this perfectly legitimate, but I am indeed the very highest rank djinn there is. It is, quite literally, impossible to be as trustworthy as me. As of this moment, I¡¯ve successfully granted more wishes than any other. And it would be my joy to grant yours as well. Now, merely wish to return home like everyone else, and I shall see it done.¡± I raised my arms in exasperation. ¡°Are you kidnapping random people to a puddle in the desert to ¡­ to extort wishes?!¡± A feigned gasp met me. ¡°That is a terrible accusation.¡± ¡°So it¡¯s true!¡± ¡°Not in the slightest. To suggest this is a kidnapping is highly inappropriate. After all, I didn¡¯t lay a hand on you. Your own morbid curiosity caused you to touch the tent imbued with a teleportation spell clearly noted on a sign hidden behind a tree. If anything, I¡¯m the opposite of a kidnapper.¡± ¡°By what logic?!¡± ¡°I¡¯m offering a swift return after a free healing session in a desert paradise. A paradise which is also inhabited by nocturnal sandcrawlers and so it is therefore advised that you leave before nightfall. There are also coconuts. That isn¡¯t kidnapping. It is service.¡± My mouth widened in outrage. ¡°H-How dare you! If you wish to kidnap me, then it must be both brazen and shameless! To feign ignorance is an insult! ¡­ Do you have any idea how many people try to steal me away?!¡± ¡°... No, why? Are you important?¡± ¡°Quite so! I¡¯m the most important person you will ever pretend to kidnap!¡± The djinn tilted her head slightly, her smile unfading. Then¨C Poof. An ornate spyglass appeared in her hand, no different to the ones used by ships¡¯ captains. She placed it to her eye and squinted. It vanished a moment later to a small puff of smoke. ¡°Oh. Another princess.¡± ¡°Another?! ¡­ How many princesses have travelled that muddy forest road?!¡± ¡°I¡¯m afraid that¡¯s not for me to say. Suffice to say, every other princess I¡¯ve met has wished for a safe exit. And all with far less fuss. Now, would you like to make your wish so I can meet my daily quota?¡± ¡°I most certainly do not! ¡­ Why, this is absurd! Do djinn not normally tire of granting wishes?!¡± ¡°We tire of granting ludicrous wishes. But it doesn¡¯t mean we don¡¯t do it. On the contrary, a djinn¡¯s social worth is entirely tied to how successful they are at making wishes come true. And that means someone who proactively steers the wishes of their customers as opposed to merely inviting whatever unfeasible dream the average human possesses is far more successful.¡± I was appalled. ¡°This ¡­ This is outrageous! How dare you abduct me for mere social clout! ¡­ At least demand a bag of gold if you¡¯re going to be a roadside brigand!¡± The djinn wrinkled her nose. ¡°I¡¯m not a roadside brigand. I¡¯m Amissa the Benevolent, and I provide bodily healing to my customers courtesy of a calming trip through an oasis paradise.¡± ¡°And does the bodily healing come just before the nocturnal sandcrawlers decide they are peckish?!¡± ¡°Occasionally, yes. But once my customers are satisfied, and they always are, they may simply wish themselves home using a variety of predetermined phrases I offer on a menu. However, if for whatever reason you choose not to take up my offer, I¡¯m certainly willing to consider alternative forms of donations. Including, yes, bags of gold ¡­ or perhaps that sword by your waist?¡± The djinn made little effort to hide her curiosity as she eyed Starlight Grace¡¯s ruby pommel. I regained her attention with a snap of my fingers. ¡°No,¡± I said simply. ¡°I know not every law you have, but I know there¡¯s certain to be one against forcing wishes from customers. This is a violation of whatever rules nobody has ever read.¡± ¡°Dear customer, forcing you to stay would be a violation of the rules. But by allowing you to leave with but a specific word, you lose nothing. Yes, I maintain my #1 standing amongst my social circle and a title unique to me. But it¡¯s hardly at your expense. This oasis is a lovely experience. I am not evil.¡± I leaned towards the djinn. She leaned away. ¡°Oh? Then what happens should I wish to return and also for you to compensate me for this needless use of my time?¡± The beautiful smile didn¡¯t fade. On the contrary, it only widened. ¡°Compensation would be open to interpretation,¡± said the djinn simply. ¡°A warning I give to everybody. But if you feel dissatisfied with my service, then you may take a cushion as a courtesy.¡± ¡°I think not. This insult of an extortion is quite enough without your poor quality fabric lining to worsen it. I refuse to offer my begging pleas. You, on the other hand, are free to make yours.¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°You shall return me to exactly where I was before. And you will do so by revealing the exit which doubtless exists. A djinn¡¯s magic is not foolproof. You did not bring me here with a snap of your fingers. You will not return me in such a way, either.¡± The djinn tilted her head slightly. She toyed with the ends of her dark hair. ¡°Oh? That¡¯s quite the assumption. But what if such a convenient exit doesn¡¯t exist?¡± I raised a hand to my lips, barely covering the smile even more fabricated than hers. Then, I leaned slightly forwards. Sear?h the Novel?ire(.)ne*t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. ¡°Ohohoho ¡­ why, I suppose I¡¯ll simply have to turn your Oasis of Dreams into an Oasis of Nightmares¨Cuntil you are forced to wish upon a princess for it to end.¡± Chapter 349: Soothing Sands They say a smile was worth a thousand words. They were wrong. My smile was worth more words than any tome could contain. And while the greatest scholars might one day hope to discern a fraction of the many nuances which went behind my lips curling upwards, none could truly understand the vast range of hidden meanings I communicated even while napping ¡­ usually resulting in a heap of rainbow macarons I needed to climb out from. This time, however, there was little threat of that. Because towards a wandering djinn with far too much time on her hands, the smile I offered left nothing for the imagination. After all, it wasn¡¯t macarons I wanted. At least not from her. It was a grovelling apology, untold amounts of compensation and whatever else I decided on the spot. Thus, I smiled and waited. Nothing else was required. For no matter how powerful a djinn¡¯s magic was, little compared to the strength of a princess¡¯s ire. That was a force no wish could repel. And so ¡­ the maiden before me could only blink. Her own smile faded. Her expression froze. And then¨C ¡°Pfffffft.¡± She burst out into laughter. ¡°Ahhahhahaha ¡­ ahahahahahahahaha ¡­ ahahahahha!!¡± Clutching her stomach, she keeled over, trying and failing to hold back the amusement. Where there was the faintest sheen of feigned politeness before, there was now only rabid chortling. The shameless guffaw of a full tavern rolled into one endless cackle. Loud, crass and bullish. I was horrified. Why, such crude, slovenly laughter at my expense! ¡­ It was exactly the same way as how Coppelia did it! And if she wasn¡¯t allowed to laugh at me in such a crude manner, then neither was anyone else! ¡°H-How dare you! This is no laughing matter! ¡­ And even if it was, certainly not like that!¡± The djinn wasn¡¯t listening. Instead, she merely spluttered and coughed. The previously well-crafted face became creased with amusement as she expelled laughter with all the casual delight of a loitering vagabond who knew every emotion except remorse. Fortunately, she could still learn. ¡°... Ahaha ¡­ hah ¡­ ugh, pain.¡° The djinn grimaced as she straightened herself. Eventually. ¡°Actual pain, too. It¡¯s been so long since I last felt such aching. And never this much from mere words. My apologies, dear customer, I mistook you for a simple girl wandering in the woods.¡± ¡°And I mistook you for a forest vagrant. I see you¡¯re only a dancing leech instead.¡± ¡°I¡¯m a dancer, yes, but not a leech. The Oasis of Dreams is a lovely experience. Just clearly not for you.¡± The djinn relaxed her smile, then flicked her wrist. ¡°Yes, fine, I¡¯m abusing a loophole to maintain my #1 ranking. But you of all people should understand what social status means.¡± ¡°Quite so. But unlike yourself, I¡¯ve no need to hide in the middle of the desert to maintain my standing. I extort my peasants openly. It¡¯s called taxes. And for kidnapping a princess, you¡¯re now due to pay a contribution directly into my bottomless bag.¡± I received only a snort in response. Somehow, I preferred the rabid laughter. ¡°To threaten my Oasis of Dreams is amusing, dear customer. But to make demands of me is just brash.¡± ¡°Brash is laughter before I¡¯ve explicitly called for it. But since few retain their wits before me, I can ignore the hysterics¨Cjust not a kidnapping with such a poorly tailored experience. To steal away a princess is the lifelong ambition of every ruffian better than yourself. To do it by chance is an insult.¡± The djinn threatened a chortle. Instead, she willed her lips together ¡­ just before adopting the same look my history tutor wore when I explained that lessons were cancelled because robbers had for some reason stolen every chalkboard in the Royal Villa. ¡°I shall take your words to heart,¡± she said, her tone between bored and bemused. ¡°Sadly, complaints handling isn¡¯t my forte. I must therefore advise you that expending a wish and then going about your day is far easier than arguing for the sake of pointless pride.¡± ¡°Please. Pride is the most important thing anyone can have. Without it, everyone might start loitering in a forest like a common roadside hoodlum. I can think of nothing worse.¡± I held up my palm as the djinn opened her mouth, her face daring to wear a mild hint of indignation. ¡°¨CAfter all, there will eventually be someone who refuses to be coerced. So here is my advice. I suggest you point the way to the exit as well as a bag of suitable compensation. You might be a djinn. But I am a princess. And I grant my own wishes.¡± I waited for a fingertip to point the way. It never arrived. Only a raised eyebrow and a final snort of the day. ¡°I am a djinn,¡± she declared, floating a little higher for the sake of it. ¡°I can become ethereal, invisible, air. Only the most powerful of magic may move me. And I do not invite mages to be my customers. What threats will you make other than to my stomach, wandering princess, before you inevitably wish yourself away once the sandcrawlers wake for a midday snack?¡± It was a question which expected no reply. After all, djinn were as shameless as they were elusive. The utter lack of concern on her face spoke as loudly as the mist swirling beneath her hips, ready to take her away at a moment¡¯s notice. But I wasn¡¯t making a threat. I was making a promise. Thus¨C S§×ar?h the N?vel(F)ire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. I peered around, identified the greatest pile of cushions ¡­ and then duly sat myself down. ¡°Very well, then. I shall stay.¡± The djinn stared at me as I brushed the sand from the side of my boots. ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°My congratulations. You shall now play host to a princess.¡± ¡°You desire to experience the Oasis of Dreams, then ¡­ ?¡± ¡°Indeed, I do. I¡¯ve been needlessly dismissive. The sparkle of the pond is truly mesmerising. I shall therefore experience it today, tomorrow and for all the days thereafter. This will now be my permanent residence. Thank you for inviting me to live in your abode.¡± The djinn¡¯s mouth suddenly widened. ¡°I am not inviting you to live here ¡­ and neither are the sandcrawlers. I mentioned them, yes? Several times?¡± ¡°You did, yes. And I¡¯m certain they¡¯ll make fine pets.¡± ¡°Sandcrawlers are not pets. They¡¯re massive, burrowing monstrosities whose appetites cannot be quenched even by consuming the very ground. They¡¯re voracious and utterly without mercy.¡± ¡°Wonderful. I look forward to taming them. Given their description, I expect they¡¯ll do a wonderful job in ensuring that any unwanted guests remain at arm¡¯s length.¡± ¡°Yes. Like customers who overstay. Which they will do since they¡¯re very hungry.¡± ¡°Well, then why not ring a bell and summon them immediately?¡± A blink met my suggestion. ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°To leave them hungry is needlessly cruel. I see your table is as sparse as your manners, but we can at least offer them some coconuts. By all means, please invite the sandcrawlers. I¡¯m certain you¡¯re on good enough terms with them by now, given that they clearly leave your tent alone.¡± I waited for the djinn to whistle, clap her hands or tap her heels. She didn¡¯t. And so I feigned a gasp, fluttering my eyelashes for effect. ¡°Ah, what¡¯s this? Could it possibly be that despite kidnapping innocents like a common hoodlum, you don¡¯t actually intend for your victims to die? Perhaps there¡¯s a rule or two about that? Or maybe the blood stains would simply be an awful distraction for when the next princess comes along to judge this sandy wasteland you call a paradise?¡± ¡°It¡¯s not a wasteland,¡± said the djinn at once. ¡°It¡¯s practically a hammock. One in great demand. And so every customer is only allowed to stay for their allotted time slot.¡± ¡°My, I had no idea that actually indulging in your pond would be an inconvenience. So rejoice¨CI¡¯m going to stay here. Forever. And each time a peasant comes along, I¡¯ll ensure that every wish you extort will also include a scathing review until you¡¯re doomed to irrelevance amongst your social circle.¡± ¡°That¡¯s ridiculous. You cannot possibly be threatening to stay forever just to spite me.¡± I offered a warm smile in response. The djinn stared, her eyes narrowing as she leaned slightly forwards. ¡°... My gods,¡± she whispered after a moment. ¡°You actually are.¡± A look of utter disbelief met me. I hardly saw why. After all¨Cto be a paragon of truth was to be a princess. Ohhohohoohoho! Indeed, here it was! My most powerful, ultimate ability! ¡­ [Princess Obstinacy]! ¡°I can spend endless days within the comfort of my bedroom,¡± I proudly declared. ¡°And while a tent in the middle of nowhere hardly compares, the fact remains that I will not be daunted and never extorted. So rest assured¨Cwhile the world ebbs and flows and your rivals overtake your standing, I will be right here, enjoying every moment until you break. So let us see who moves first. I am patient. Are you?¡± The djinn looked indignant. The wind swirling beneath her heightened. And for a moment, it almost looked like she was going to accept my heartfelt challenge. ¡°Ugh. Humans.¡± Instead ¡­ she simply rolled her eyes. ¡°I offer a healing salve for your, frankly, awful existences. And all I receive in return is either suspicion or outright hostility. Well, be glad that I truly am a benevolent djinn and not one of my more carnivorous cousins. So fine. Have it your way. I¡¯ve no desire to be inefficient. Keep your wish and enjoy whatever calamity comes about from having it. It is of no concern to me.¡± Poof. All of a sudden, a glowing, magical doorway with a mirror-like surface appeared beside my stack of cushions. The sight of a beautiful green forest comforted my eyes at once. And also Apple¡¯s nose ¡­ followed by his jaws as he proceeded to try and eat my exit. He was shooed away a moment later by Coppelia, who showing all the grace of a handmaiden, stuck her face against the other side of the doorway. Her cheek squished against an invisible window, her large turquoise eyes blinking with curiosity as she tapped away with a fingertip. Why she would stick her face in first and only poke afterwards, I wasn¡¯t certain. Still, I nodded. Home awaited. Hence¨CI rose from my stack of cushions, then offered a grateful smile along with my response. ¡°No.¡± The djinn stared at me. ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not leaving.¡± ¡°What do you mean you¡¯re not leaving? The exit is right here. Look. I¡¯m pointing at it.¡± I held out my palm. ¡°Compensation,¡± I duly said. A look of utter horror met me. That was a good start. But she could do more. ¡°You cannot be serious.¡± ¡°Ohohohohoho.¡± I raised my other hand to my lips, barely covering my smile. ¡°Why, I¡¯m always serious. Especially when it comes to paying me for my time.¡± ¡°What compensation could you possibly want?¡± said the djinn, looking unreasonably aghast. ¡°I have no money!¡± ¡°What do you mean no money? You¡¯re a djinn. People plead for wealth all the time.¡± ¡°Yes, but we can¡¯t just conjure gold crowns. Technically, all we do is summon it from elsewhere.¡± ¡°Then summon it from Granholtz. I¡¯ll even be specific. The safe nearest the bedroom at the top of the White Citadel. It¡¯s possible a woman is sleeping atop it. If so, you can summon her as well. But not here. Somewhere further out in the desert will do.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t do that. My powers only transcend those of mortal magic when empowered by a wish.¡± Ugh. These djinn. They were floating nobility. They promised the world, but when it came to their taxes, they suddenly had nothing. ¡°Fine. You may offer me what you have on hand. Or rather, your arm. I see you¡¯ve some gold bracelets on you.¡± ¡°I cannot give you these!¡± said the djinn, her mouth widening with a huff. ¡°This is part of my dancing attire! And it¡¯s worth more than you could possibly imagine!¡± I clapped my hands in delight. ¡°My, is that so? ¡­ Then I¡¯ll take your bracelets plus everything else you have. I see several rings of middling quality, a necklace of tourmaline beads and a pair of jade ear hoops. They¡¯ll do for a start. Otherwise, I can also remain here and allow you to enjoy my smile until the end of time.¡± The djinn wrinkled her nose in a way which could make goblins gasp. For a moment, she did nothing but thoroughly compromise her beautiful fa?ade. After all, she knew that my forever presence and all the sweets she¡¯d need to feed me was a joy that a djinn whose roadside mischief hardly deserved. Then, she slipped off her various pieces of jewellery with nothing more than a roll of her eyes. She lightly flung them towards me. All fell slightly short. ¡°You have little idea how threatening that is,¡± she said, already flicking her wrist at me. ¡°Now go, before you ruin my next appointment. Be glad that I¡¯ll only treat this as a business expense.¡± I offered a curtsey while scooping up the taxes into my bottomless pouch. ¡°Thank you. You¡¯re correct. This has been a healing experience.¡± The djinn paused for a moment. A puff of air left her nostrils. ¡°You¡¯re most welcome,¡± she said, arms crossing as she turned away, one part stoic professionalism and one part indignant. ¡°And remember¨CAmissa the Benevolent. Be certain to leave a good review.¡± She waited, adamantly looking anywhere but me. At least until I still wasn¡¯t leaving. ¡°... Why aren¡¯t you gone?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not done yet.¡± ¡°What do you mean you¡¯re not done yet? What more do you want? Sand?¡± I pointed outside while wearing the smile she¡¯d be missing. ¡°Please give me some coconuts.¡± Chapter 350: Fanning The Flames Apple¡¯s hooves submerged themselves in the mud. Yes, mud. Not just the crumbly dirt which caked the hems of every dress woven outside the Royal Villa. But mud so wet a sculptor could shape it to resemble my horrified expression. This was already worthy of a classical faint. And yet what truly threatened to topple me into the waiting arms of my loyal handmaiden as she skipped in the branches far above was something else. Hhhffffft. Apple snorting ¡­ in joy. I was filled with equal dismay. After all, for a princess¡¯s horse to act delighted while trudging up the remains of a road maintained exclusively by sludge was highly against form! ¡°Apple!¡± I said, utterly aggrieved. ¡°This is not the correct reaction to muddying your hooves! You must turn your head away, whinny in distaste and then refuse to carry me a step further!¡± I waited for Apple to put up a fuss. Instead, he simply plodded along, the mud squishing beneath his hooves. This ¡­ This was terrible! All the hard work I¡¯d done in allowing my regal aura to rub off on him was now being smothered by memories of a past life involving drunkards, wheelbarrows and carts! There was a time for saving my kingdom and a time for standards ¡­ and that was both simultaneously! After all, what would remain if its princesses began wading through mud? If Apple truly wished to see my realm rescued from the ire of the watching peasantry, he¡¯d refuse to bear me another step! A giggle of amusement came from overhead. Coppelia, who knew to correctly abandon me whenever our soles were imperilled, smiled as she hopped from one branch to the next. ¡°Your roads sure are beat up, huh?¡± she said, chittered at by the squirrels who puffed up their tails before fleeing. ¡°You know, I think it¡¯s getting worse.¡± ¡°The roads?¡± ¡°Mmh~! When I first came here, your roads were just bumpy and uneven. Now they¡¯re basically meeting spots for giant mudcrabs.¡± I held back a groan. As my loyal handmaiden, her duty was to sprout the official line ¡­ and yet as a perfectly hidden giant mudcrab scuttled away in terror of Apple¡¯s coming, it was all I could do to bravely ignore the many omens which decided to go my way. ¡°O-Ohohoho ¡­ why, did I complain about the mud? By that, I ¡­ I simply meant that Apple should take extra heed of the soft earth which gives rise to so many blooming flowers!¡± ¡°Really? I don¡¯t see any flowers in the soft earth. Only the acid spitting mud toads.¡± My lips parted to offer a robust defence. Instead, I watched as a small group of, yes ¡­ acid spitting mud toads leapt free of the burrow they¡¯d made, chasing after the giant mudcrab whose armour they cared little about. ¡°This ¡­ well, this is merely because we¡¯re in the countryside! ¡­ Indeed, here upon the edges of my kingdom, everything is home to nature, and that includes the very roads we travel upon!¡± ¡°Oooh, I get it! That¡¯s why you have so many hoodlums!¡± ¡°Exactly!¡± ¡°But just out of curiosity¨Chow much of your kingdom is actually the countryside?¡± ¡°H-How much? ¡­ Well, there hasn¡¯t ever been an official declaration ¡­ but suffice to say, the rolling hills, verdant meadows and ancient forests can be seen from all four corners ¡­ and maybe sometimes the middle as well.¡± ¡°... Soooooooo, is your entire kingdom just one big countryside?¡± I gasped. ¡°C-Coppelia! How could you ask that? Why, you¡¯ve even visited Reitzlake! A jewel so envied that none outside my kingdom needs to speak of it! The intricate architecture you¡¯ve witnessed cannot possibly suggest everything is simply the countryside!¡± ¡°True, very true. I apologise.¡± I smiled ¡­ just before narrowing my eyes in suspicion. ¡°Truly ¡­ ?¡± ¡°Sure!¡± Coppelia nodded zealously, her fists to her chest. ¡°I don¡¯t know why, but your doors are seriously impressive!¡± ¡°I see ¡­ by any chance, are you referring to when you kick them down?¡± ¡°The feeling is amazing! I¡¯ve kicked doors all over the place. Most of them way nicer looking. But the ones in this kingdom crumble just the right way. Like a nice sponge cake after that first bite.¡± This time, a groan escaped me. Not because the doors of my kingdom were more destructible than those belonging to my neighbours. On the contrary, that was simply a testament to the thoughtfulness of my craftsmen, knowing that if their doors were to be kicked down, then they may as well be built to do so spectacularly. Rather ¡­ it was because my tummy was rumbling. Coppelia had said the taboo word of the day. Cake. Slowly, I swallowed a deep breath. Hoping against hope, I leaned to the side and opened up the designated bakery bag. What stared back were coconuts. Just coconuts. Not a single croissant waiting to shed half its weight in flaky pastry for the deer to nibble on. The implications were dire. After all, it wasn¡¯t only us who were suffering. Our crumbs were responsible for feeding half the wild animals of my kingdom. A habit which meant they didn¡¯t need to nibble on my orchard instead. And now it was all being threatened. ¡°Coppelia ¡­ there is no cake.¡± ¡°There are goblin moss cakes,¡± she said merrily. ¡°You haven¡¯t touched your share yet.¡± ¡°That¡¯s untrue. I thoroughly poked them. All lack the texture of the moss cake the halfling made.¡± ¡°I mean, those were less moss cakes and more just breaded deliciousness in a palm. Real goblin moss cakes are a lot more plain. And nutritious.¡± ¡°That¡¯s hardly an advertisement. If a cake doesn¡¯t instil immediate feelings of regret just by holding it, then it¡¯s no good. That¡¯s where the joy is derived.¡± ¡°In that case, you¡¯ll be happy to know that squished moss cakes are at the bottom of the bag maturing with the coconuts! I was saving them for later, but you can have them too. There¡¯s no way you won¡¯t feel regret just by looking at them.¡± ¡°My, thank you very much. But they¡¯re yours. I insist.¡± ¡°You sure?¡± ¡°Very sure ¡­ after all, I intend to be consuming a mille-feuille with pralin¨¦ mousseline cream and crunchy hazelnut bits by the end of the day!¡± I offered a confident smile. Ohohohoho! Indeed, although my tummy was wavering, my heart was not! True, this was the greatest crisis that we, or rather, my entire kingdom had ever faced. A budding peasant revolt was a problem dwarfing the schemes of any hoodlums now fated to craft soap until I remembered their plight. Because the coconuts aside, our provisions were now bare. And when all was bitter in taste, all was bitter in life. However! I was no lesser princess, doomed to the despair of a world with sugar free confectionery. I didn¡¯t just sit upon my hoard of princess points while smiling condescendingly upon my peers simply for show. No ¡­ it was also so I could leap over them when opportunity demanded! ¡°Fear not,¡± I said, smiling as I placed a hand upon my chest. ¡°Although these past few days have been fraught with hardship, know that this will soon come to an end. Not only will we soothe whatever outrageous concerns the most ignored of my peasants have, but we shall also turn them into my kingdom¡¯s most ardent subjects.¡± Coppelia hopped down from her branch. Her arms sprang up with joy as she landed. ¡°... Bribery! Sweeteners! Hush money!¡± I was appalled. ¡°E-Excuse me! I am not going to bribe my peasants!¡± ¡°Oh, okay. Is that because you think it¡¯s too expensive or it wouldn¡¯t work?¡± ¡°Neither! ¡­ It¡¯s because it¡¯s against principles.¡± Coppelia tilted her head slightly. ¡°Eh? Really?¡± ¡°Of course! ¡­ Why, if I started bribing irate peasants, they¡¯d stop farming and start complaining instead. That¡¯s far more profitable. And once complaining is all they do, they¡¯re already halfway to becoming nobility. I could never have my farmers suffer such a humiliating downturn in status.¡± I shook my head, my empathy overwhelming. That¡¯s right! My peasants might be unreasonably voicing their dissatisfaction, but that hardly justified such a demeaning response! Fortunately, there were better balms available¨Call of which involved my gentle touch. ¡°Naturally, this won¡¯t be an easy affair. But it needn¡¯t be complicated, either. It¡¯s clear that the recent calamities through no fault of my kingdom is the cause of this unease. As such, all I need to do is reassure my peasants that the worst has already passed.¡± ¡°Ooooh~! That¡¯s brave of you. I¡¯m impressed!¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°If you say the worst has already passed, then that pretty much guarantees something terrible is going to happen. I¡¯ve never heard anyone actually say those words.¡± ¡°Coppelia, I¡¯ve already been to Ouzelia. There¡¯s no possibility of anything more terrible happening.¡± My loyal handmaiden gasped. sea??h th§× Novel?ire(.)ne*t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. I pursed my lips ¡­ then swiftly glanced around in every direction. ¡°P-Perhaps I won¡¯t use those exact words ¡­¡± The giggling assailed me at once. I ignored it and looked ahead, setting my sight upon the top of the muddy slope. Somewhere beyond was the first glimpse of the Wessin Bridge¨Cas well as whatever scenes of restlessness awaited. True, I had little idea how severe the discontent was ¡­ but while this was doubtless a delicate matter, I was also a delicate princess. Indeed! As long as my peasants weren¡¯t needlessly angered any further, everything could be fixed! In fact¨Cthere was just one problem. ¡°Coppelia?¡± ¡°Mmh~?¡± ¡°Do you smell something rather ¡­ distressing?¡± ¡°Yup. It¡¯s like your towns. But worse. I¡¯m shocked. That¡¯s really hard to do.¡± I frowned in puzzlement. Because as Apple crested the slope, a pungency as familiar as it was utterly out of place assailed me. Indeed, it was what I woke up to during the height of my kingdom¡¯s various celebrations¨Cwhen the Summer Solstice Festival was in full bloom, when a royal birthday was being celebrated or when my father found a poetry book that an unnamed princess had tied with stones and dumped in the middle of a lake filled with carnivorous piranhas. It was the fumes of cologne. The oil of hair wax. The whiff of charcoal powder. A cauldron of unfortunate scents needed for the upkeep of personal grooming used exclusively by the knights of my realm. Quite a few as well, given the way my nose instinctively wrinkled. This was odd. My knights were always busy. What with, I didn¡¯t know. Nobody did. Except that it didn¡¯t involve each other. Unless drawn to a common cause involving festivities, caf¨¦s and very occasionally, battles, they had no cause to be here. There were no tournaments to be found near the Wessin Bridge. ¡­ But that didn¡¯t mean they couldn¡¯t create one for themselves. ¡°W-W-What is this ¡­ ?!¡± My mouth fell open at the sight before me. The banners rose high as their open tents, revealing knights stood vigilantly behind mirrors, their eyes stern as they studied the smoothness of their chins. Swords, lances and armour were on display, arranged upon tables in such a way that they could be efficiently fitted at a moment¡¯s notice. Loud as the colours of their banners, the knights of my kingdom readily put the boasting of common louts to shame. Within the boundary of their makeshift wooden fences, cheers and winces filled the air as jousting knights took turns crashing into each other. Everywhere I looked was the fervour of chivalry-approved hooliganism ¡­ as well as complete ignorance regarding my despair. Because there¨Cscarcely a stone¡¯s throw from the impromptu joust, were the first of my irate peasants. ¡°You! I know you! How dare you show your face again after deceiving my daughter! She still thinks you want to marry her!¡± ¡°Thieves! All of you! You barge into my tavern and leave only broken chairs! You need to pay for every last bit of damage!¡± ¡°You good-for-nothings! How dare you call yourselves knights after escaping through my window! It wasn¡¯t enough that you snuck in, you broke my house on the way out!¡± ¡°Villains! I had to replace all the straw in my barn after what I caught you doing!¡± I was horrified. Before me was the only thing which could stoke the flames further than I could soothe. ¡­ The presence of those responsible for half the stress of my kingdom¡¯s fathers! Chapter 351: A Raven In The Night Miriam Estroux''s mini-arc. ?. ****** Fwip. Fwip. Fwip. Fwip. An unusual silhouette flew across the face of the moon. Were anyone to look up, they''d be forgiven for thinking themselves mad. Although horrors as great as fire breathing dragons, giant cockatrices and common seagulls might be expected to terrorise the night sky, few would ever expect to see a young maiden skirting beneath the clouds. Even fewer would expect the young maiden to be wearing pink pyjamas. ¡°Nnnnhh ¡­ uwaaa~¡± Miriam Estroux yawned as her small, bat-like wings struggled to propel her forwards. Usually, vampires revelled in their mastery over flight. Because for all the things which fled at their coming, none parted as swiftly as the clouds. Unlike the daytime, the moonlit sky was their domain. Usually. Because unlike other vampires ¡­ Miriam was chronically malnourished. It was even official. The Royal Villa¡¯s resident physician had told her. He didn¡¯t even need to poke her. He¡¯d just looked. She¡¯d politely declined the offer of a goat. For one thing, goats were cute and she didn¡¯t want to be the reason for a goat telling all its goat friends the reason why it was having a bad day. Which being drained by a vampire would most certainly result in. But for another, she didn''t like blood. Not a single bit. She didn''t like the look of it. She didn''t like the taste of it. And she certainly didn''t like the process of stabbing something with her teeth which really didn''t want to be stabbed while drinking them like a mango smoothie. Other vampires thought differently, of course. But other vampires chose their path of unlife for reasons usually to do with felling kingdoms from the shadows while forging an empire of endless blood sacrifices and free maiden buffets. Miriam just wanted to read. And for the most part, she¡¯d achieved her wish. Ignoring the adventurers, heroes and sisters who would chide her on daring to leave everyone alone before then trying to burn her for it, unlife as a vampire was more or less what she expected. But that didn¡¯t mean she never paused. Although she was never a social butterfly, the fact remained that centuries of solitude sometimes made even the least extroverted wonder if it was necessarily healthy to only hear the sound of her own squeals as The Phantom Rogue swiped another heirloom pendant from around the neck of a young duchess via sweeping her whole from a moonlit window. These days, she didn''t need to wonder. Each hour spent in the Royal Villa was filled with sound. Of servants hurrying to-and-fro. Of a library being steadily expanded. Of maids playing and fussing over her silver hair. Miriam never knew she missed these sounds. But far from distracting her from her reading, they only added colour to it. A backdrop of life in a royal household, mimicking much of what she read in her books. Just minus the dashing thieves. After all, there were many places where riches could be illicitly earned. And of them, most didn''t have a troll guard diligently polishing the vault door. In Reitzlake alone, there were endless estates and manors, each lightly guarded, yet boasting secrets hidden to the eyes of the tax inspectorate. However, while the nobility were adept at hiding their treasures, they were less capable of moving them. No matter how subtle the mouse in the field, the raven upon the branch would always see it. And this one was swimming alone in a wide river. Fwip. Fwip. Fwip. Fwip. Below her, Miriam found what she was searching for. A merchant''s vessel navigating the river out of Reitzlake and towards the Wessin Bridge. Revealed beneath the moonlight, its trailing wake against the calm waters was as clear as footsteps in the snow. An unusual scene when dawn was so far away. All the more so given the amount of activity. The ship was narrow and slim, yet more sailors swarmed its deck than any vessel of its size could reasonably demand. They flitted about like ants freshly woken from their nest, their smiles lit by the torches and the coins exchanging hands. Even from up high, the faint laughter could be heard. A chorus of satisfaction. Of complacency. Of a successful escape. Miriam nodded. And then ¡­ she slowly descended. Another tired yawn soon filled the air. Given the size of her wings, she had to supplement her flying with magic. The endeavour was more draining than any lich¡¯s touch. And yet by the time she was peering through the window of the captain''s quarters, all sense of fatigue left her. She listened for a moment, hearing nothing but the creaking of the vessel and the voices from the deck. ¡°[Frozen Touch].¡± Then, a panel of glass turned into a layer of frost against her palm. With the following tap, it silently shattered. Miriam floated inside, her wings beating furiously as her feet touched the newly made carpet upon the wooden floor. It was the richest piece of decoration. Sparse and discreet, few would ever suspect that a treasure worth more than the value of the ship and all its crew was within this modest cabin. But Miriam hadn''t come here as a regular burglar. She was here as the Royal Villa''s newest librarian. Her eyes went to the desk. A plethora of journals were on display. Each was a treasure in its own right, for the captain of this vessel was known for as many tales as there were drunken sailors in bars. But Miriam was here for something rarer. The Icy Duke''s Heart Melts To A Forbidden Flame. Specifically, the original manuscript. Written almost a century ago and still as divisive as the colour black, it was repeatedly panned as the worst romance book ever written. But all things had value. And most importantly, all things were subjective. Miriam liked it. Ignoring the journals, she swept over to the nearest bookcase and studied the spines with a sweeping finger. She pulled them down one at a time, flicking through the larger tomes for hidden pages as she searched for a treasure many would die to own. ¡°That¡¯s the wrong shelf.¡± Especially if it always came with a crossbow. Miriam looked to the side. Standing at the open doorway was a woman resplendent in a captain''s formal attire. Despite the deep scar marring her cheek and the long hair covering an eye where most would use a patch, she possessed a striking beauty which only sirens usually boasted while at sea. ¡°Well now,¡± said the woman, her crossbow more steady than her ship. ¡°I was told to beware the gulls. A good thing I was on the lookout for vampires instead. A happy coincidence.¡± The silver bolt gleamed beneath the moonlight streaming through the windows. A deadly weapon, more practical and cowardly than any stake. And were Miriam a different vampire, she would have made the mistake of testing her speed against it. For as the captain calmly stepped inside, so too did her sailors. A dozen swept past her, huddling before their leader. The cutlasses they wielded were steel, but they were sharp and coated with silver oil dribbling upon the floor. Miriam scratched at her tummy. ¡°Dread Captain Neritha Blackheart,¡± she said with a nod. ¡°Your ship has fewer cannons than your tales would suggest.¡± ¡°My tales are out of date,¡± replied Dread Captain Neritha with a smile. ¡°I¡¯ve since turned a new leaf. As well as a new ship.¡± ¡°A sad turn, then. There are few pirates of renown these days.¡± ¡°Even fewer now that so many have absconded. Times have been hard on us honest pirates. Our galleons are unwelcome, now with the 1st Princess commanding the Golden Prince¡¯s ship and the man who proposed to me no less than 5 times now nowhere to be seen.¡± ¡°I believe the Golden Princes''s whereabouts is public knowledge. If you haven''t yet heard, I''m more than happy to tell you.¡± ¡°Please don''t. I much prefer ignorance. It''s less embarrassing that way.¡± The Dread Captain¡¯s chin nudged forwards. It was enough for the sailors under her command to move at once. Filling a space fit for only half their number, the sailors surrounded Miriam, their silver imbued cutlasses but a lunge away. ¡°We do not fear the reach of the kingdom, whether they serve in life or death. You made a mistake in coming here, vampire. Our backs can be caned, but not our pride.¡± ¡°Then you''ve nothing to fear. I didn''t come for your pride. Only a book.¡± ¡°Well, that sounds like a negotiation to me. In that case, my galleon is waiting. I''m certain we can include any item you desire as part of your ransom.¡± Miriam yawned with a hint of her fangs. ¡°Very well. I will make the first offer ¡­ Anise?¡± The sailors tensed. Unlike their captain, they wore their apprehension more freely. All the more so as they suddenly retreated as one. ¡°Tea is ready.¡± As if she''d always been there, a smiling maid in a distinctly custom uniform appeared beside Miriam. The sailors took several steps back to the sight of her cheerful smile. They were right to. Although the claws she''d apparently once possessed as a banshee were no more, it didn''t mean she was harmless. After all, what shone more than her smile was the tea pot she held upon a small plate. One which held very little tea. ¡°This is a flaming tea pot,¡± said Miriam matter-of-factly. ¡°Inside is one of the most volatile liquids ever conceived. If dropped or improperly handled, the tea pot will violently explode, releasing the liquid and setting your ship and all it holds ablaze.¡± Widened mouths met her declaration ¡­ mostly over the fact that a vampire was stooping so low as to use a tea pot as a threat. The indignation was brief. An enthusiastic maid gave the tea pot the slightest of tilts, resulting in a small sprout of something more green than red erupting from the tip. Terror filled every expression. All except the Dread Captain¡¯s. ¡°A vampire willing to use fire,¡± she said with a hard smile. ¡°How quaint. Are you also willing to see your prize burn as well?¡± ¡°The Icy Duke''s Heart Melts To A Forbidden Flame survived more 1 star reviews than there are actual stars in the sky. It can survive fire. The only thing which threatens it is the dust on whatever shelf you would see it languish upon.¡± Dread Captain Neritha''s smile didn¡¯t fade. Even so, her eyes noticeably narrowed. A moment later, she motioned again with her chin. This time behind her. ¡°Out.¡± ¡°Captain?¡± ¡°Everyone out. I will handle the vampire.¡± Hesitation answered her. A single frown later, and all the sailors pretending not to be relieved slowly filed out, cutlasses held aloft even as the door closed before them. Now alone, the Dread Captain stared over her crossbow. ¡°... So, what do you think of the book?¡± she asked, her tone bereft of emotion. ¡°I think it is a work of historical relevance and a classic in its own right.¡± ¡°That wasn''t my question.¡± Miriam gave a hum of consideration. ¡°Entertaining and unpretentious. I think it''s a scandal that it never received a sequel. Readers at the time simply weren''t allowed to express their true feelings. If it was released today, it would be competing with A Court Lady''s Indiscretion upon the windows of bookstores.¡± A moment of silence answered. ¡°Heh.¡± The woman nodded. Suddenly, a flame shone in her one eye, greater than any which could be emitted from even the most dangerous of tea pots. And then¡ª Thwack. She loosed the silver bolt nestled upon her crossbow ¡­ tearing away a map draped upon a wall. Revealed was a small, rectangular alcove. Only a handful of books fitted within. Each was instantly recognisable, their spines as colourful as the words of scandal and illicit affairs within. All except one. Miriam offered an appreciative nod. Tattered and frayed, there was no hint it was the same book which had shaped all of her current reading habits ¡­ including those of Dread Captain Neritha Blackheart ¡­ or as she was known in certain circles, The Kraken Girl. ¡°Ah, such a shame,¡± she said, casually tossing her crossbow to the side. ¡°Despite a dozen noble ladies each threatening to stab me for the right to slobber over this book, it seems the choice has been taken out of my hands. Against a dangerous vampire threatening alchemical fire, what can I do?¡± Miriam carefully retrieved the manuscript from the alcove. No complaints were levelled against her. After all, in the literary world of romance, all shared a bond of camaraderie. Especially when it concerned works nobody wished to admit they secretly enjoyed, despite everyone sharing the same sentiment. She offered it to Anise, who accepted it upon her free palm with trained ease. Despite a dangerous tea pot and a priceless book in either hand, the maid still managed to bend her knees in a polite curtsy before vanishing as easily as she arrived. A gesture soon to be followed by Miriam. ¡°The dangerous vampire offers her gratitude,¡± she said, nodding with a pleased smile. ¡°This is a rare find and must be preserved. May I ask how you came to find it?¡± ¡°Same way I find most things. By cheating at cards better than the one in front of me.¡± A lie. Miriam knew it at once. She wasn¡¯t confrontational, but at the same time, she also hadn''t created one of the most comprehensive networks of publishing industry contacts across multiple kingdoms without being able to discern falsehoods from truths. Plus, the woman''s brow was twitching. S~ea??h the n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. ¡°Such works are rarely found alone,¡± she said, her voice as insistent as she could make it while yawning. ¡°Or without reason. If there are more, I''d like to know while I¡¯m on my monthly stroll outside.¡± The Kraken Girl shrugged. ¡°Usually, I''d agree with the sentiment. But curiosity is a dangerous thing. Even more so when it comes with a bucket full of bad omens.¡± ¡°Why? Where did you find it?¡± ¡°A house,¡± came the simple reply. ¡°A nice little one as well. All the way out in the woods, overtaken by the weeds and the riff-raff from Reitzlake thinking the trees were enough for us to forget them.¡± ¡°Do you mean to say outlaws possessed this book?¡± asked Miriam, mostly out of hope. ¡°If they did, they kindly chose not to burn it. Didn¡¯t find the ones I was looking for, but found where they were staying instead. An abandoned lordling''s home. Mostly emptied, but they left what they couldn''t steal, break or read. That was everything in the library.¡± ¡°Oh ¡­ and did you find many other books?¡± ¡°Plenty. And they''re still waiting for you if you can find them.¡± ¡°Why? You didn''t collect them?¡± ¡°Tried to. I came back with as many wheelbarrows as I could fit between the trees. Didn''t need to bother. I couldn''t find that nice little house again. Only mist as thick as smoke. And also half my crew gone cold with sweat. Bad omens all around.¡± The Dread Captain nodded seriously. Miriam blinked. ¡°... Is that it?¡± she asked in all earnestness. ¡°That''s it. And that''s all anyone needs to know. A sailor''s intuition doesn''t stop just because it''s land. We got lucky. That wasn''t a place meant for those who walk this world, living or unliving. I expect curses work the same on us all.¡± It did. But Miriam didn''t just walk. She also flew. And for the moment, she was still awake. ¡°This is a wide stretch of countryside,¡± she said, blinking to keep her eyes fully open. ¡°It makes sense if there are homes once occupied by rural nobility here. Did this home have any emblems or insignias on the walls or doors?¡± ¡°Sure did. Each as scary as a bump in the night.¡± ¡°Why? What was it?¡± The Dread Captain wore a slight smile. Then, she pointed towards her lips. ¡°Like a masked face twisting into a laugh.¡± Miriam became utterly still. Suddenly, all thoughts of buried romance books exited her mind. For the image she saw instead was clearer than all the embossed covers still waiting for her to categorise. A laughing mask. It was a household crest she''d seen often. An unusual, even unfashionable choice for a coat-of-arms. Yet it suited the one she¡¯d last seen wearing it. Likely since he¡¯d picked it out himself. That man was always nothing if not whimsical. A fact which made up most of his charisma. After all¡ª It was how he''d convinced Miriam to become a vampire. Chapter 352: The Master’s House Miriam Estroux¡¯s mini-arc. 2/4. ****** The mist was formed of magic. Miriam could tell by the tingling in her wings. To others, it was a cold which sapped willpower itself. A deterrent more effective than any wall. But to her, it was little more than a pleasant tickle. And perhaps it was true for those who lived here as well. And that meant there was competition. Miriam knew little about what went on in the kingdom outside of its bookshops, but she didn''t need to imagine who would make their homes in the lawless forests where nearby towns were few and unguarded farms were plenty. She saw them instead. Or at least where they¡¯d slept. Hints of camaraderie revealed themselves to her as she weaved amidst the mist. Campfires turned to ash. Bundles of tattered bedrolls. Racks of fish now so rotten even the crows stayed away. And then she saw the scars. There were wounds upon trees where they''d been struck by instruments more blunt than sharp. The outlaws here managed to make enemies of each other more than they did of any guards. And their prize was to loiter upon the doorstep of the least welcoming abode in the woods. An abandoned manor house. Miriam blinked down at the sight. Rather than appearing from a distance, its fa?ade of imposing stone, black tiles and pointed chimneys came with little warning. Locked within a boundary of mist, only silence was there to greet her as she lowered herself before the door. Dread Captain Neritha Blackheart hadn¡¯t downplayed its ominousness. Ivy had claimed much of the walls, creeping over the balconies and smothering the windows. Or at least those that were visible. Despite the presence of the moonlight, all it did was reveal the darkness blinking from within. A feeling of foreboding permeated this place, deeper than any grave. Miriam nodded ¡­ all the while wondering why she never considered having her own haunted mansion. Despite the presence of brigands, the lack of furniture strewn outside was evidence that solitude was possible. She held no complaints about her cave in Stermondt, of course. It was cosy and warm. And she had even fewer complaints about her tidy bedroom now. But if she knew that a secluded manor drowning in fog was more than just a gimmick, she would have made one herself. Miriam realised there was much for her to learn. And she¡¯d begin by finding out whether or not she was the only vampire in the kingdom. Knock. Knock. She lifted the door knocker in the shape of a laughing mask and announced her presence. A moment later, she was welcomed by a door creaking open and a dark hallway lit by the dimmest candles available. She gratefully accepted. Stepping inside, she waited for the door to close behind her before admiring the atmosphere. There were no cobwebs or dust. But there was something more ominous. A malevolence lived within this manor. A chill which seeped from the regal furnishings. And despite the laughing of the masks on the walls, no such sound greeted her. ¡°... Hnnffghhh ¡­ !!¡± Only a muffled cry was there instead. Miriam paused, tilting her head as she listened. Desperate and faint, it was rather like Miriam struggling to escape the combs of the maids when they saw the sloppy state of her hair moments after waking up. All she heard next was the floor creaking as she followed the candles. They lit a path before her, winding through the hallways rich in decoration but empty of colour. The chill became more prominent as she went, the pleasant tickle turning into an icy finger against her skin. She still didn¡¯t mind. And before long, she arrived at the most foreboding place yet. A dining chamber fit for a banquet. Here, a long table draped in white linen was revealed beneath a spidery chandelier. A dozen guests were already seated, each the politest diners any host could ask for. After all, they were dead. Skeletons in formal attire sat in various poses of conversation, skulls lifted back in silent laughter or hands raised in a toast. But while Miriam couldn''t speak on behalf of the atmosphere, she at least saw that the table didn¡¯t lack in food. ¡­ Just not the type she usually snacked on. ¡°Mmmmffphh!! Mmnhhhfh!! Nnnphh!!¡± A freckled girl squirmed upon the table. Wearing the simple dress of a common villager, she struggled against the ropes which bound her. Yet despite her frantic movements, she managed to only flop upon the table like a trout upon land. However, as if sensing the sudden draft through the doorway, she turned her head and blinked at the new arrival. A look of desperate hope filled her face at once. Miriam was horrified. She''d made eye contact. That meant she now had to do something ¡­ maybe, probably. Anything else was too awkward. Feeling the weight of expectation upon her shoulders, Miriam scooted forwards, then apologised to the skeletons as she reached past. The girl stopped squirming. But not because her inexperienced saviour was now here. It was because of the figure observing from above. ¡°... And which burglar, I wonder, would be so crass as to dare steal away my meal?¡± Miriam looked up. There upon a balcony was the spitting image of an aristocrat. A man who was tall and slim, with an expression as stern as the fa?ade of his manor. It fit with his attire. A court tunic as immaculately woven as his hair¨Cpure white, long and wavy in the style of a powdered wig. Except that unlike the actual powdered wigs popular with dukes, admirals and balding men, his was very much real. He just spent a lot of time on it. Master Harkus of Revarin. Keeper of the shadows. Scion of darkness. Count. Lord. Duke. And the person who''d offered Miriam the first leaflet concerning all things vampirism. He had all of these titles and more. It didn¡¯t matter. His first was superior. He was a master of his own kind, whose name had outlasted even the kingdom he was born in. Even if few would ever guess that. Only in his eyes was there a hint of his true age. They were dark and sunken, like wells which had yet to find the bottom. ¡°Speak now,¡± he said, the icicles practically forming in his words. ¡°Or forever hold your peace. I do not entertain unexpected guests. But I do permit them to leave¡ªin soul, if not in body.¡± A moment later, the mottled skeletons around the table began to labour in their seats. Miriam didn¡¯t pay them any attention. She blinked at the frowning figure above. Then, she offered a wave. ¡°Hello, Mr. Harkus. It''s me.¡± The skeletons paused. As did the lips of the master vampire which had begun to curl into a smirk. A moment later, he squinted while leaning over the balcony. And then¡ª ¡°... Why, if it isn''t the young countess herself!¡± Fwooooosh. All of a sudden, light filled the dining chamber. Both the darkness and the ominous atmosphere was brushed aside as torches, braziers, candelabras and no less than three additional chandeliers burst to life. It was nothing compared to the delight upon the master vampire''s face. He hopped down without reservation, gracefully landing beside the skeletons and the girl whose eyes were wide with terror. Especially as a small flock of bats appeared seemingly out of nowhere. ¡°Miriam Estroux!¡± said Master Harkus, his arms raised in joy. ¡°How little you''ve grown! I do apologise. I expected you to be ¡­ well, not quite dressed like that. What manner of attire are you wearing, may I ask?¡± Miriam lifted the sleeve of her pyjamas. ¡°It''s modern fashion.¡± The master vampire hummed, then nodded regardless. The warmth not in his blood was very much in his voice. ¡°Is it now? Goodness me, how swiftly these things change! It''s a wonder how the feeble minds of mortals even keep up. But then again, I suppose that''s why they''re permanently underdressed. Not like you. You look spiffing ¡­ if also somewhat pale. And not in a good way.¡± Master Harkus leaned forwards and studied Miriam¡¯s complexion with academic curiosity. ¡°... You look parched. Peasants not to your noble taste, I take it?¡± ¡°Well, no,¡± she said truthfully. ¡°I see. Understandable. Standards once raised cannot be lowered. But that''s why we only pick the best. I see you''ve already experienced the issues with that. Have you made a farm yet?¡± ¡°A farm?¡± ¡°Of those containing suitable lineage. I''d be stunned if you haven''t. With your familial connections, it should be relatively simple.¡± Miriam shook her head. ¡°I''m a countess in name only. My former holdings are long lost.¡± ¡°That shouldn''t matter. Your title is more important than any jumble of chimneys. And I doubt kowtowing will change no matter how many centuries pass. If you haven''t begun work on your farm yet, I advise it.¡± ¡°Um, actually¡ª¡± The master vampire instantly held out his palms. ¡°Oh, please don''t think I''m pressuring you. I understand well the thrill of the hunt. But I''d be remiss not to say that all vampires are doomed to realise that convenience and sustainability are things that can only be achieved over several centuries of social engineering. Just something to bear in mind.¡± Miriam nodded. ¡°Thank you for the advice. But if you don''t mind, may I ask why you happen to be here?¡± ¡°You certainly may! I''ve been resting. Or indulging in triumph, I should say. The downfall of the Rozinthe Imperium was a tiring affair. But equally some of my damn best work. You should have seen it. An empire collapsing. Rebellion on the streets. Flames in every window. And all because I convinced Empress Halyconia that cats were the devil''s pets. The plague which happened? Beyond my wildest expectations. Didn''t need to lift a finger. It was marvellous.¡± Master Harkus smiled so broadly that even the jaws of the skeletons seemed to shift into a grin. Miriam simply stared. ¡°Oh, I see. It''s just that I thought you might have been destroyed.¡± ¡°Well, I admit it was close at times. The Cowled Magisters began to suspect interference almost immediately. Luckily, I convinced them that a necromancer was at work. Which was excellent, since there was actually was. Completely accidental. Never felt so guilty about an execution before. His plan was better than mine.¡± Master Harkus offered a nod of acknowledgement. Then, all was promptly forgotten as he gestured before him. ¡°But let''s not indulge in dullness. You are far more exciting. How has the young countess fared in these past few centuries? I promised I wouldn''t pry, but curiosity is ever my weakness after a slumber. Have you subdued any kingdoms or¡ª¡± Suddenly, the master vampire paused. His eyes widened. And then his palm slapped himself theatrically upon the head. ¡°¡ªCountess Miriam, I am ever so sorry.¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°It''s only natural you''d make this kingdom your first choice of subjugation. The utter thoughtlessness of me. I had no intention of interfering in your schemes. This is so embarrassing. Of course you''d be here to query my presence. Please tell me I haven''t ruined anything.¡± ¡°You haven''t ruined anything.¡± ¡°... Truly? In that case, perhaps I might be bold enough to offer assistance? I still feel regretful about being so busy last time. If nothing else, we can ensure our plans don''t conflict. Naturally, I''ll concede to you on every point. It''s your kingdom to subdue, after all.¡± Miriam blinked. ¡°I have no interest in subduing the kingdom.¡± ¡°No?¡± ¡°It sounds tiring.¡± ¡°Oh. Well, I suppose starting slowly is suitable too. What do you have planned, then?¡± ¡°To work.¡± ¡°... Work?¡± ¡°I''ve secured gainful employment as a librarian. In return, I''m offered a weekly salary.¡± For a moment, the master vampire did nothing but stare at her. And then¡ª ¡°Bwahahahahahaahaha ¡­ !!¡± The bats which were hanging from the ceiling fled as the master vampire lifted his head, mimicking half the skeletons behind him in riotous laughter. ¡°A librarian!¡± he said between bouts of amusement. ¡°Quite the interesting disguise! Goodness, I confess I''ve never even considered using that before!¡± ¡°It is not a disguise. I am a librarian.¡± Miriam tilted her head slightly. ¡°... I did say that I only wished to become a vampire so I could read.¡± The laughter faded at once. Instead, a look of utmost exasperation appeared so suddenly that it was like a river had patiently waited to pour forth from just around the corner. ¡°Excuse me? Do you mean to say that your vampiric instincts haven''t shovelled that away yet ¡­ ?¡± Miriam nodded. The grief expanded ten fold at once. ¡°Good hells, Miriam! I don''t know whether to be impressed or horrified. I did not humour your request for unbridled power only to see it wasted on literature! I did it because I saw talent! How has your desire to consume the world from the shadows not emerged? ¡­ Even the merest taste of blood should be enough to awaken it!¡± ¡°I don''t drink blood.¡± ¡°You don''t drink blood?¡± Master Harkus''s jaw dropped. ¡°How do you even survive?¡± ¡°I substitute blood with a diet of tea and sugar.¡± S~ea??h the ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. ¡°That is atrocious.¡± ¡°I like it.¡± Miriam yawned while stretching her arms. ¡°I also like working in a library. It''s fulfilling. But it does mean I have schedules at threat of being delayed. I''m sorry, but is it possible for you to conduct your own work elsewhere? I¡¯m worried about the budget.¡± The master vampire looked like he was about to self-combust. ¡°Is it possible? Certainly so. Will I do it? Not for that.¡± Miriam had no response. After all, her only words now were to be directed to the king and queen. She''d need to inform them that a master vampire was present. And that now meant making her excuses, leaving, and then avoiding wherever in the Royal Villa all the silver crossbows were going to be stored. There was just one problem. Bwam. The bound girl as she rolled off the table. She gave a small groan against the rope in her mouth, then did her best to flop away. It wasn''t very good. She was as mobile as a tied up ham ready to be roasted. ¡°Excuse me,¡± said Miriam, pointing at the girl. ¡°But may I ask who this is?¡± ¡°Hm?¡± Master Harkus turned, then nodded. The grief on his face lessened at once. ¡°... Ah, this would be my needless indulgence. I hope you won''t tattle. It''s not good to indulge so soon after waking up, but this one is special. Perhaps you can tell?¡± ¡°She looks like a village girl.¡± ¡°Oh, she very much is. But her blood is particularly pure. More like a sister''s than a common villager''s. You come across it more rarely these days. Would you like to partake? She''d be an excellent choice to wet your fangs. I¡¯m certain that¡¯s all you need.¡± The girl looked up, her eyes slightly swollen and red. She shook her head as much as she was able. Miriam looked awkwardly away. ¡°Thank you, but I must decline.¡± Master Harkus nodded without disappointment. On the contrary, he wore a renewed look of satisfaction as he peered at the squirming village girl. ¡°So be it. In that case, I suppose I''m simply forced to observe the most sacred traditions of our kind for the two of us.¡± ¡°Hmmmfghh ¡­ !! Nnngff ¡­ !! Nnnnmfh ¡­ !!¡± Miriam plucked at the end of her sleeve as the girl looked desperately at her. Unfortunately, there was nothing she could do. She had to warn the kingdom. That was the most important thing. Attempting to rescue a village girl wasn''t in her interests. She had no means to fight a master vampire even if she were at full strength. Moreover ¡­ Miriam simply wasn''t a heroine. She had never once appeared beneath the moonlight to save those in need, just like those in the stories she read. Just like a certain princess. That wasn¡¯t her role. Thus, her shoulders drooped as she readied her excuses ¡­ all the way until she pointed at the girl attempting to snail her way to the window. ¡°I will do it,¡± said Miriam simply. ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°I wish to partake in doing vampire things with the tearful village girl.¡± Master Harkus looked at her in shock. Then, he raised his arms in joy. ¡°Why, so you could sense her purity! Absolutely marvellous! I knew it was only a matter of time! By all means, indulge to your heart''s content! You''ve no need to worry on my account¡ªplease, consider this a belated welcoming gift!¡± Miriam smiled. And then she waited. ¡°... Will you be watching?¡± The master vampire blinked. A moment later, he gave a hearty laugh, mimicking the masks upon the walls. ¡°My apologies, Countess Estroux,¡± he said, offering a short bow. ¡°I forget my manners¨Cas well as something urgent I happen to need to do. I shall return when it¡¯s appropriate.¡± With a merry smile, his form became a flock of bats, taking to the balcony where he had first appeared and leaving only a horrified village girl behind. Miriam nodded. Then, she leaned down, scooped her up and ran. Book 9 Removal Reminder!! Hi there! This is a gentle reminder to new (?) readers that Book 9 of the Villainess Is An SS+ Rank Adventurer (this time featuring a Princess Knight Juliette) will be stubbed on the 25th. Afterwards, a freshly edited eBook version will be made available on Kindle, KU and Audiobook (soon?). Book 9 consists of chapters 287-315, with Book 10 beginning chapter 316 (Everything In Moderation). Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy it!! (There will be an additional chapter tonight) Sear?h the N??elFir§×.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 353: Scions Of The Night Miriam Estroux¡¯s mini-arc. ?. ****** Miriam wasn''t certain how many tales she''d read about innocent maidens being swept up in the arms of their saviour. All she knew was that it was a lot. And that all of them had eschewed one important detail. ¡°Mmmmgnfh?! Mmmgnff!! Mmnnfhgh!!¡± It was really hard. Miriam was shocked. All the evidence she''d gathered through centuries of late night binge reading while sat upon her pillow was unequivocal. The problems only started once the villains decided to send their best henchmen. That was usually around the same time every cliff, balcony and tower began crumbling, as well as all the things which didn''t usually explode now being inexplicably filled with combustible material. Miriam''s problems began immediately. ¡°Ah, apologies ¡­ apologies again ¡­ again, my apologies ...¡± Carried upon her arms was a maiden in distress. Except that this particular maiden in distress was bigger than Miriam. Not by much, but that didn''t matter. Miriam had a small frame, and while vampirism did much for her eyes, it did little for her figure. With time, she could learn to alter her voice, her age and her appearance. She could pretend to be a pauper on the streets or the Grand Duchess herself, weaving a plot as complex as the ending to A Summer Knight¡¯s Dream, Vol III ¡­ so long as the Grand Duchess was also her height, of course. Despite the powers of vampirism, not even the darkest of arts could raise one''s physical elevation. That was something archmages were still trying to solve. A slight problem. Because as it turned out, most people who rescued maidens could actually see over them. Pwash. A vase smashed against the ground. A painting was propelled off the wall. A tea table was sent hurtling backwards. ¡°Mmgnfh ¡­ ?!¡± One after another, Miriam''s hopes of a discreet exit were undone by either the foot or the head of an increasingly distressed village girl. It was, to put things bluntly, extremely inelegant. Despite the size of the hallways, they were filled with a litany of furnishing. All found themselves targets of her clumsiness as Miriam juggled her bound damsel with the need to speedily exit in a way which didn''t cause more than a handful of winces as pottery shattered around her. She was failing. Boomph. Hence, she had little cause for complaints that upon arriving at the final hallway, what appeared before her was a great sphere of blood. It twisted and turned, writhing in the air before imploding into the smiling figure of one whose hair was now slightly more wavy than just before. That wasn''t the only change. His court tunic now had a few more frills. His cravat scarf was a new colour. And his shoes had turned into flared leather boots. Miriam was stunned. In just the brief time she''d dashed from the dining chamber to the exit, he''d already seen to his hair and wardrobe. ¡°... My dear Miriam!¡± said Master Harkus, hurriedly throwing away a comb. ¡°Are you leaving so soon? Why, you''ve only just arrived!¡± The village girl trembled in Miriam¡¯s arms. The sounds of either pain or distress had ceased, replaced once again by a silent look of horror. ¡°Sadly, I must,¡± she said with a polite nod. ¡°Thank you for seeing to my curiosity. However, I''m afraid I have other engagements to attend. I only wished to know if you''d returned.¡± ¡°And so I have. I take it that won''t be an issue?¡± ¡°It will not.¡± The master vampire raised his arms as though to invite a hug. ¡°Well, then I dare say whatever engagements you have can wait another night! This is a special occasion. The last time we spoke, you were scarcely out of the proverbial oven. Now look at you. Already eager to dash away to warn the wrong people that their worst nightmare has now awoken.¡± ¡°I''ve no intention of doing such a thing. While I admit I¡¯ve no interest in any ongoing plots you may have prepared, I do not intend to be an obstacle, either. I have a library to manage, and sadly this comes with few luxuries regarding time.¡± A hearty chuckle answered her. ¡°Well, that I don''t doubt ¡­ most curious, isn''t it? For all our immortality, it seems we don''t have enough hours in the night to do all the things we want.¡± Miriam nodded in agreement. She''d calculated it herself. Books were coming out faster than she could read. A thought both terrifying and exciting. But mostly terrifying. ¡°I agree. And so I¡ª¡± ¡°In which case,¡± he interrupted. ¡°I would like to insist upon an extension of your stay. Especially since you intend to enjoy your meal on-the-go. A highly controversial choice for your first indulgence. Trust me when I say that these things are better done in the comfort and proximity of a napkin.¡± Master Harkus clicked his fingers. A brief fluttering of wings later, a polka dot napkin was delivered upon the village girl¡¯s horrified face via delivery bat. Miriam blew it away. ¡°Thank you. But I would like to indulge in the comfort of my own home.¡± ¡°And so you may. But not before you consider the ¨¤ la carte menu of wicked schemes I¡¯m simply dying to discuss with you. I¡¯d simply feel terrible if I didn¡¯t at least attempt to convince you. I''ve a variety of plots fit for every kingdom of every size, you see. I''m confident at least one of them will tickle your fancy.¡± Miriam raised a brow ¡­ all the while leaning slightly away. She''d already had her fill of scheming. Long before she¡¯d been sucked in by her first illicitly acquired novel, she was a member of the nobility, with all the endless conniving that entailed. However, this wasn¡¯t the only reason for her sudden discomfort. It was the flamboyancy. The theatrical movements. The wild gestures. The pompous clothing. The speech more close to a song than any normal conversation. Miriam indulged in drama. In the delight of foul ruses and villainous speeches. And yet not even in the worst of her reading history could she find an evildoer who wore his calling so thick that it was like a drape which smothered all necessary thoughts of restraint. Master Harkus was the worst image of a vampire, through and through. A career scoundrel more sinister than a smile in a tavern corner, whose abode wasn''t in the manors, crypts and castles he owned, but in the shadows they cast. To her young self, such adherence to his character was impressive. But Miriam was different now. Perhaps not outwardly ¡­ and in truth, not a lot inwardly, either. But even if her reading tastes hadn''t changed, her standards in pantomimes did. And witnessing such obsessive commitment to duplicitousness was much more embarrassing when it was occurring outside the words of a page. It was, in fact ¡­ ¡°Clich¨¦d.¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°Clich¨¦d. Your performance is clich¨¦d. And not in an appealing way.¡± A blank expression met Miriam''s rare chastisement. ¡°Ah ¡­ A-Ahem ¡­ my apologies, my dear countess, but to what do you refer? My honest and virtuous wish to bring you beneath the umbrella of darkness so that you may help spread the canopy?¡± ¡°Yes. That.¡± Miriam frowned slightly. ¡°It is tired and overdone. I understand you wish for me to craft an insidious scheme to subvert this kingdom until the people can no longer see the light upon the horizon. But I''ve not a shred of interest in it. And to be frank, I don¡¯t see why you do, either. What purpose is there in scheming for the sake of it, other than to hear your own cackling because no one else will join you? It¡¯s embarrassing. And I think you should stop. Frankly, you¡¯re much too old for this.¡± For a moment, the master vampire fell silent and still. Even the puffs of his attire seemed to deflate. A silence deeper than any well filled the chilly air. Miriam expected the worst, knowing instinctively she¡¯d erred. Vampires did not condone insults to their character, no matter how truthful. And in a moment, the fury would flare beneath the cracking of pride just before the walls received a new layer of red paint. Instead ¡­ Master Harkus let out a sigh. All the merriness was gone ¡­ yet nor was there indignation either. Only a sombre expression remained on his face, the sudden creases upon his forehead as foreign as the sight of him covering them with a palm. Miriam was deeply confused. As was the village girl in her arms. They both waited. A moment later, the master vampire gestured towards a sofa against the wall. ¡°Please sit.¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°Take a seat, if you would. It is time that we had a ¡­ little talk.¡± Miriam blinked. However, seeing the entrance still blocked, she slowly took a seat on the sofa. The village girl she awkwardly placed across her lap ¡­ most of her poking off to the side. Master Harkus sat beside them. An expression of utter seriousness was on his face. One far different from the vampire who''d so jovially welcomed both her appearance and her botched escape. ¡°Miriam.¡± ¡°Yes ¡­ ?¡± ¡°My apologies, but I''ve not been entirely open with you.¡± ¡°I see ¡­ ? And what have you not been open with ¡­ ?¡± ¡°The fact that I¡¯ve not been cursed with smelling the odour of this insignificant kingdom without reason. It¡¯s no coincidence that a captain of a pirate vessel just so happened to find my manor, nor that they could breach the mist which surrounds it. That ¡­ book was to make its way to you. And then you to me.¡± Miriam''s apprehension rose. As expected, no gift was free. ¡°Very well. And why is that?¡± ¡°To have a conversation I hoped to avoid. Sadly, despite my optimism, I see that my worst fears are confirmed. And so it falls upon me to shoulder my portion of the responsibility.¡± Master Harkus raised himself slightly. His eyes, sunken as they were, seemed even darker as he grappled with the words he wished to speak. A solemn air enveloped him like a lector at a funeral. Then, he frowned. ¡°You''ve been making us look bad.¡± Miriam blinked. ¡°... Excuse me?¡± ¡°You¡¯ve been embarrassing us.¡± ¡°Us? Who is ''us''?¡± ¡°Us. All of us. Vampires. Your actions have been highly unappreciated.¡± Confusion did the rounds in Miriam¡¯s head. As far as she knew, she didn¡¯t know any vampires enough to embarrass them. Sear?h the ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. ¡°I haven¡¯t done anything,¡± she said honestly. ¡°No. If you hadn¡¯t done anything, then that would have been fine. Doing nothing is simply us biding our time before we cause the downfall of the next innocent kingdom. That is perfectly acceptable. What is not, however, is this ¡­ Pink Raven tripe.¡± Miriam couldn''t keep her eyes from widening. Her identity was a secret known to few. And of them, most were still only hazarding educated guesses. A man with no interest in romance literature could not have known. ¡°I don''t know what¡ª¡± ¡°Please, you may spare me the denials. Your movements haven¡¯t gone unnoticed¨Cnor your wings. And the result is that I, yes, I had to defend you ¡­ with utterly no warning, I should add.¡± All of a sudden, the master vampire threw up a hand in exasperation. The sombre atmosphere was flicked aside with it. ¡°Allow me to paint the scene for you. There I was, laughing amidst the lifeless warmth of the most pallid company. The blood sucking leeches of the Nocturne Court, all gathered together in a cosy crypt to boast, lie and accidentally push each other into a basin of holy water. A fine evening with rotting dinner, a group of terrified troubadours and room to elevate me in a ceremony long overdue. I was happy. I was content. And yet just when I was due to begin regaling my tale of conquest over Rozinthe for the 99th time, that''s when conversation turned to the matter of my spawn. You.¡± He shook his head, for all the world as though Miriam had deliberately sought to disappoint him. ¡°... Really? A secret network of literary contacts?¡± ¡°Yes? What is the issue?¡± ¡°The issue is that if you''d just made that into a network of informants and thralls, then that would have been perfect. It would have been appropriate. What you do instead is ridiculous.¡± ¡°How I choose to spend my own time is no concern of yours.¡± ¡°It is very much my concern. Because your reputation is the reputation of all vampires. Frankly, I was delighted when I''d heard you''d vanished from your cave. Excellent, I thought. The young countess is finally freeing herself from her shackles. Instead, I hear rumours about a vampire turning up at the home of royalty. Not to enslave them. But to work for them.¡± Master Harkus leaned back on the sofa like an old man whose every bone was aching. The sigh he exuded was so cold it turned to mist. ¡°... Unholy gods, Miriam. Are you trying to make us a laughing stock?¡± ¡°No, I''m trying to keep to my own interests.¡± ¡°Your interests are unacceptable.¡± ¡°To you, maybe. But I fail to see how the reputation of vampires can possibly get worse just because I''ve chosen to categorise books. All that will do is improve our image.¡± Master Harkus''s expression tightened. ¡°Our image is precisely what¡¯s at risk. Do you think we¡¯ve worked tirelessly to scheme in the shadows since time immemorial for the sake of it? No. We do it because it is vital. Reputation is our armour.¡± ¡°Vampires have blood magic and the ability to turn into bats.¡± ¡°Yes. But even that has limits. A very tall limit, yes, but not one immune to our walking desserts suddenly thinking that a silver spoon is enough to destroy us. That is highly inconvenient.¡± ¡°Mr. Harkus¡ª¡° ¡°Master Harkus.¡± He wagged his finger. ¡°I didn''t personally bring down the greatest empire the continent has ever known only to be confused with a professional cat tamer in Granholtz. From now on, you shall refer to me by my title. That is the proper decorum. And I¡¯ll also ensure that before you leave, you understand the meaning of being a scion of the night. Teamwork makes the dream work, Miriam. And you are not exempt.¡± Without an inkling of shame, he instantly brushed aside his ire and replaced it with a smile. ¡°Fortunately, it''s nothing blood can''t fix,¡± he said, pointing at the village girl hoping to be forgotten. ¡°Your mind is famished, but I see the cure wriggling upon your lap. Now, do you understand what you must do? Miriam nodded. ¡°I do.¡± ¡°Excellent. Will you do it?¡± ¡°No.¡± A sigh met her simple response. He stood up, adopting a frown like a disappointed parent. ¡°Very well. Then I must take matters into my own hands. This no longer only affects you, after all.¡± ¡°And what is it that you intend to do ¡­ ?¡± ¡°Something very simple. I will have you drink this squirming girl''s blood¨Cone way or another. With that said, I suggest you enjoy this moment. Especially as you don''t have the strength to say otherwise.¡± Miriam stood up as well. Doing her best to ignore the pitiable groaning coming from the direction of her arms, she more than matched the frown. ¡°Then you shall need to think twice. I possess strength you do not.¡± ¡°You¡¯re malnourished. What possible strength do you have?¡± ¡°A teapot,¡± said Miriam simply. The master vampire stared at her. Then, he turned around ¡­ just in time to see the smile of a ghostly maid and the alarming object held above her head. ¡°Greetings!¡± Pwashh. A flaming teapot promptly smashed into his face. Chapter 354: A Theory In Blasphemy Miriam Estroux¡¯s mini-arc. 4/4. ****** Miriam thought this wasn''t too bad. It still wasn''t anything quite close to a graceful exit. There were no swinging curtains or sledding down a hillside. But it wasn''t too bad. And when the thing being escaped from was a vampire considerably stronger than her, anything which wasn''t too bad was actually very good. All around her, the misty forest welcomed her escape. A nightly breeze swept her silver hair behind her as she dashed across untamed woodland with her highly distressed charge held in her arms. But luckily for the village girl, she had no need to worry. After all, her fate was unlikely to be as bad as the one awaiting Miriam. She peeked behind her to the sight of a raging inferno. Somewhere in the hells, a devil was offering a toast to her work. What used to be the imposing fa?ade of a haunted manor was now a scene of unbridled devastation. Much of the building was toppling down, walls and all, while any windows to remain were simply furnaces spilling with the fury of a genius with a very short safety checklist. Flames more green than red consumed the very air as the scent of something alchemical mixed with the charring of wood and stone. And all of it caused by a single flaming teapot. Miriam was impressed. She''d need to convey the results to Princess Clarise, if for no other reason than to ensure this was counted as research and not a deliberate attempt to set everything on fire. And that meant studying the outcome from a healthy distance. ¡°[Flight].¡± As Miriam ran, her tiny wings sprouted from her back. Supported by her magic, she instinctively hopped into the air ¡­ and then stumbled as she instantly came down again. The village girl in her arms gave the tiniest groan of discomfort. Sadly, there''d be more to come. Unable to take to the air, Miriam decided on the next best thing. Using her wings to propel her forwards like a leaping bunny. Without hesitation, she bounded through the trees, magic at her heels and a tired pair of wings fluttering from her back. She skipped through the endless foliage, snapping every twig and rustling every shrub until the colour of the flames finally diminished and all she could see was mist. She slowed but didn¡¯t pause. Sadly, even the most potent flame was unlikely to do more than wrinkle a master vampire''s skin. Yet she couldn''t run forever. At least not with the village girl in tow. She needed to hide her somewhere a master vampire was unlikely to follow. And Miriam knew just the place. Even the thought of it was causing her to feel uncomfortable. After all, despite the strengths of vampires, they had weaknesses. Not many. But they were severe. Enough that even the most powerful member of the Nocturne Court wouldn''t dare test themselves against nature''s most powerful guardian ¡­ which was why when Miriam heard the sound of flowing water, she had to shove all her instincts for self-preservation to one side in order to follow it. Her bravery was rewarded as she stopped before the most modest of streams, barely wide and deep enough to cover one''s ankles. It was enough. Finally deeming the village girl safe enough to allow her to wildly panic, Miriam set her down upon the grass. A pair of frightened eyes looked up at her. She offered a reassuring smile. ¡°[Glacial Dagger].¡± And then held a weapon of gleaming ice over her. ¡°Mmnnnghh!! Mnnngh?! Nnhgh!!¡± ¡°Please stay still. I shall release you.¡± The squirming villager slowly froze, only becoming perfectly still when Miriam kneeled beside her. She carefully guided the dagger over the girl''s many bindings, each wrapped so tightly that her skin was almost bleeding from the friction. The freshly released girl waited a moment for Miriam to do something generally evil. When nothing happened, she sat up, winced as she felt her limbs moving, then looked at her saviour. ¡°... Am I free now?¡± she asked in a quivering voice. Miriam pointed at the stream. ¡°Not yet. But you will be. Follow the stream and keep your feet within the waters at all times. Running water is highly dangerous to vampires. He will not follow you.¡± ¡­ At least not while Miriam was somewhere else, of course. Pride demanded that she be hunted first. Which meant they both needed to escape. ¡°[Flight].¡± Wasting no time, she stood up and gracefully lifted herself. Oddly, the village girl wasn¡¯t fleeing. She was instead staring at Miriam¡¯s wings, her mouth agape. ¡°Why ¡­ Why did you save me?¡± she asked, swallowing a dry gulp. Miriam gave a shrug. ¡°It''s what she would have done.¡± Not waiting for the bewildered response, Miriam made good on her escape. The mists receded along with the rest of the forest. With a shaking of leaves and branches, she flew up and broke free of the canopy to a welcoming haze of moonlight sifting between the dark clouds. As the cool air tickled her skin, she peeked down to see the faint silhouette of a girl stumbling down a stream¡ªif not towards safety, then at least somewhere safer than where Miriam was heading. Master Harkus knew where she worked. And that meant the Royal Villa was in danger. Empowering her wings, she shot towards the cover of the clouds. Her plan was simple. Crash into the courtyard while shouting incoherently about everybody needing stakes. There was just one problem. ¡°Ahh?!¡± A whip formed entirely of blood. Miriam gave a squeak of surprise as all sense of equilibrium left her. A lashing weapon snapped around her waist like a coiling rock python. The next moment, she felt herself pulled back down ¡­ and then swung in several directions, up, down, left and right, the clouds switching places with the forest canopy several times, until finally¡ª ¡°I am deeply unhappy.¡± She appeared upside down in front of a very cross looking vampire. Master Harkus hovered before her, boasting a much greater set of wings than her. They were shadows as black as the smoke being emitted from his head and torso, for despite the prominence of those wings, all Miriam could notice was the fact that the man was now half-naked. Much of his garments were now scattered patches of charred fabric. Something he noticed as well, given his irate expression. ¡°This was custom tailored,¡± said Master Harkus, gesturing at himself. ¡°All of it. That you ruined a perfectly good dinner outfit is already an issue. But the fact that the tailor is long dead is another. I¡¯m now going to have to raise him as a ghoul and hope his claws have the dexterity to sew me a new doublet. I am very doubtful.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± ¡°Oh, indeed. You set me on fire. Do you have anything to say for yourself?¡± The master vampire rotated Miriam several times. She brushed her silver hair from her face and nodded. ¡°Yes, if you could, is it possible to describe how it felt to be doused by it? It¡¯s for research purposes.¡± Master Harkus leaned in and scowled. ¡°Perhaps you should see for yourself.¡± And just like that ¡­ Miriam was tossed. The blood whip suddenly snapped to the side, hurling the delicately framed countess like a pebble tossed by a hill giant. She flew faster than a diving albatross. And now she was heading straight into a crumbling manor merrily burning with bright alchemical flames. Miriam admired the sight¨Cjust before curling into a ball. Fwipfwipfwipfwipfwipfwip. A moment later, she emerged as a flock of bats. A sense of weightlessness took hold of her, allowing her to avoid the worst of the burning manor. She burst through the smoke and returned to the depths of the misty forest. The shifting in forms hurt greater than the lashing flames. Although it was more an illusion than true transfiguration, that didn¡¯t stop the feeling of nausea which occurred from suddenly having a hundred pairs of eyes. It was still better than the alternative. She sensed the figure following behind. A shadow blotting out the moonlight, unconcerned with anything other than slowly making his ire known. And that meant the end of her tale. The end. Miriam was officially stuffed. After all, against a superior vampire, little could be done other than to calmly accept one¡¯s grisly demise. And while she could attempt to flee or hide, it was clear this would only delay the inevitable. Thus, only one option remained. Violent self-defence. Miriam needed to destroy a full strength higher vampire. Here, now, and with everything she possessed. That wasn¡¯t a lot. Her magic was dwindling, and while she could conjure a passable weapon, she had neither the skill nor training to use it. The greatest hope was that the presence of two vampires was such anathema that the Holy Church would dispatch a band of murderous holy sisters to eradicate them both. ¡­ Or failing that, the next pious option. ¡°You told me this place was hidden. But I can still see your ugly mug, Sourface.¡± ¡°Shaddup. If you can see mine, I can see yours. And it¡¯s my eyes which are bleeding.¡± ¡°You¡¯re both uglier than each other. Only thing not obvious is who¡¯s dumber.¡± ¡°That¡¯d be you, Lemmy. And maybe Patches as well.¡± ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s definitely Patches. Man, who tries to steal a horse from behind? Good thing nothing important was lost.¡± Specifically, the next, next, next pious option. A small band of common brigands. She heard it. The laughter. The cackling. The snorting. A campfire and a group of rogues. It wasn¡¯t her first choice. It wasn¡¯t even her last choice. But Miriam was nothing if not open to assistance. Especially since there was a limit to how long she could maintain her form as a flock of bats without flying into a tree. Without warning, she swept over the campfire and gathered herself together. Appearing in the midst of just four wide-eyed ruffians, she tugged at the hem of her pink pyjamas and offered a swift curtsey. ¡°Good evening, gentlemen. I apologise for the sudden interruption. I am in need. Have you by any chance stolen any artifacts, weapons or armour related to the Holy Church or with divine properties?¡± The flames dimmed in the campfire, turning into embers as Miriam remembered to smile. The bandits gawped at her. And then¨C ¡°Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!¡± They ran. Scrambling, tripping, screaming, the men darted like mice caught in the open. All except one. As he slipped on a perfectly dry patch of dirt, he instinctively threw the closest thing he had on hand as he desperately rushed to escape the mysterious bat girl in pyjamas. A spoon. Miriam idly flicked it away ¡­ yet to her surprise, it was just the tiniest bit cold. Ignoring the bandits, she looked down at the offering. Not even a large spoon. But a spoon for desserts. A thing so tiny it was used exclusively for eating pudding as slowly as possible. A standard tool used by nobility to extend conversation which all knew had to end the moment the last bite was consumed. And it was ¡­ not silver. Maybe there was a little bit in there. A thin coating, perhaps. A common trick used by blacksmiths or merchants whose customers were keen to purchase silver cutlery at an astonishing discount. Miriam blinked at it. She tilted her head. She thought. She hummed. And then ¡­ she nodded confidently. Yes. This would do. Miriam kneeled down at once. She picked up the slightly cold spoon and began to scribble right there on the ground. Not words, but symbols. Hunching over the dirt the brigands had made, she recalled a scene permanently etched in her memory. She knew she remembered correctly. As she drew, a feeling of immense nausea began to overtake her as though she were balancing on the deck of a swaying ship. Soon, that feeling of nausea became so intense she wanted to throw up. All the more so as she imbued every morsel of magic she possessed into the counterfeit silver spoon. She continued regardless, ignoring the aching of her tummy ¡­ and even the flapping of a pair of wings. Master Harkus barely looked down as he landed right beside Miriam. ¡°... Really?¡± he said, the disappointment clear in his voice. ¡°Come now, Miriam. This is pitiful. Runes?¡± Miriam paused. Then, she leaned over and began drawing right between the man¡¯s scuffed shoes. ¡°Runes,¡± she replied simply. The master vampire rolled his eyes. ¡°Ugh. This is beneath you. Do you think any magic you perform is enough to harm me? I¡¯m virtually immune to all the common elements. What do you hope to do? Destroy the rest of my attire?¡± ¡°Yes, but only because it comes naturally with destroying you as well.¡± ¡°Then you¡¯ll need to try when you¡¯ve learned how to perform blood magic. And perhaps once you¡¯ve regained your senses as well. Your ascension into being a vampire has clearly addled something in your head. This is not why I chose to give you this gift.¡± ¡°I thought you turned me into a vampire because you had nothing else to do.¡± ¡°No, I turned you into a vampire because I chose you. I do not make thralls, Miriam. I made an exception. An exception I must continually remind myself of. I saw something in you. You did not seek power. But power is already inside you. I saw it. A spark of something unique. Something I couldn¡¯t allow to wither away before your time had come. I saw in you the potential to become my prot¨¦g¨¦.¡± ¡°I see.¡± Master Harkus looked aggrieved. ¡°That is not the correct response. I¡¯m due to be raised to the table of the Nocturne Court. And any vampire who stands behind my fashionable new cloak is guaranteed to also be raised to the table of the Nocturne Court. That is how influence works.¡± ¡°I¡¯m already a countess. And a librarian. That will do.¡± ¡°Not for me. Your aloofness was supposed to morph into cold unfeelingness as you threw away all your mortal desires. Not to disregard the world of shadows in order to indulge in terrible literature.¡± Miriam briefly paused. ¡°The literature I read is marvellous,¡± she said, frowning. ¡°They also contain villains far better than you.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not here to serve as your entertainment. I¡¯m here to do a job.¡± ¡°You spend your days sleeping and drinking. You don¡¯t have a job.¡± Master Harkus¡¯s eyes narrowed. ¡°Yes, I should be celebrating my triumphs. But because of your apathy, I now need to pick up the slack, wasting valuable time on a kingdom so insignificant I had to use a map to remember where it was. A map.¡± He stomped his heel on a rune, smudging the soil beneath. Miriam immediately began fixing it. ¡°In Rozinthe, I had to stop myself from flying into a mage tower constantly. In Granholtz, I went within 15 kilometres of the White Citadel and had to evade so much holy magic I thought they were catapulting sisters at me. But here? There isn¡¯t a single landmark in this tiny speck of dirt. I cannot even boast about subjugating this worthless kingdom. What am I supposed to say when the next meeting of elders gather? ''Oh yes, I conquered the Kingdom of Tirea. The cows stood no chance against my machinations''. That is humiliating. See what I endure to fix your errors?¡± Miriam looked up and smiled, her final work complete. ¡°I do not. But I¡¯m afraid you¡¯re due to be even more disappointed.¡± ¡°And why is that?¡± ¡°The runes I¡¯ve drawn do not represent any of the common elements. They are holy runes.¡± Master Harkus fell silent. He then looked down, assessing the runes for the first time. His face promptly filled with outrage. ¡°Miriam! You drew holy runes?!¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°That is ¡­ blasphemy! Do you not feel disgusted with yourself?!¡± Miriam nodded. ¡°I do, actually. I feel rather ill.¡± ¡°That is nothing less than you deserve! And to what purpose? This isn¡¯t just pitiable, it is ridiculous! What did you hope to do by etching out holy runes? You are not a sister!¡± ¡°No. But I became deeply acquainted with one during a spell of captivity ¡­ including her runes written beneath my very pillow. I¡¯m confident these are accurate.¡± ¡°It doesn''t matter if they are! These vile things do nothing but desecrate my reputation!¡± ¡°These runes were drawn by a silver instrument.¡± Miriam raised her spoon. The master vampire looked like he was considering returning to his coffin to recover from the mental damage. ¡°That is worth less than a quill! You cannot imbue these runes!¡± ¡°Oh? ¡­ And what is your point?¡± ¡°My point? My point is exactly that! These runes are nothing more than disgraceful drawings! They are functionally worthless! I cannot believe I need to explain this. You are a vampire¨Cby the laws of this world unable to perform holy magic. The very discomfort you experience now is proof of that!¡± Miriam nodded. ¡°More.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°I am not very bright. Please use sound and logical arguments for why the runes will never under any circumstances activate and explode under us.¡± The look she received was nothing short of overwhelming incredulity. ¡°Miriam,¡± he began, his voice almost softening from the sheer disbelief he was clearly feeling. ¡°Holy magic is the antithesis of all we stand for. It¡¯s the bane of our existence. Moreover, such a slapdash effort is terrible even if this was regular magic. You cannot just sketch on the ground and pray.¡± Deciding that enough was enough, Master Harkus reached out as if to scoop up an errant house cat. He stopped to wear a shocked expression instead. Because at that very moment, white veins began to light all around him, ushering away the night. ¡°My hypothesis is correct!¡± Miriam clapped her hands excitedly in joy. ¡°Oh, this explains so much! The patterns on these runes fall under the auspices of Lady Iessa, Goddess of Mirth! That means they¡¯re also imbued by her hand and explode at her whims! Isn¡¯t that wonderful?!¡± The master vampire looked at her in horror. ¡°Well, I hope you''re happy. You¡¯ve successfully committed heresy.¡± ¡°I am, yes.¡± ¡°And how do you intend to escape from this? You are, at least on parchment, a vampire.¡± S§×ar?h the n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Miriam shrugged. ¡°I¡¯m blasphemous. I¡¯ll pray.¡± A moment later, the holy runes glowed more merrily than they did at the bottom of a mine. And then everything exploded. Chapter 355: In Case Of Emergency A haze of afternoon sunlight welcomed us as we arrived at the Wessin Bridge. Arching over a valley, it stood as a monument to the ingenuity of my kingdom. A twin drawbridge formed of dark stone and hardy oak faithfully guarding the river passage into Reitzlake. Its task was simple. To ensure no ships larger than a merchant¡¯s cog could enter without paying a toll in either crowns or masts ¡­ for what overlooked it was also a fortified watchtower doubling up as a lighthouse, filled with more tax inspectors than actual guards. As such, it was a splendid work of pragmatism and function¨Cif not quite beauty. Sadly, despite its very official purpose, that hadn¡¯t stopped it from becoming a waystation for weary travellers. And although the Wessin Bridge could never be called a town, the amount of pubs, taverns and inns it boasted couldn¡¯t be beaten by even the docks of the royal capital. Here, there was no allusion to restraint. No chapels, sewers or noble estates existed for drunkards to escape my horrified guards ordered in no uncertain terms to arrest them for littering the ground with their vomit. And that meant alcohol. Lots of alcohol. This was a problem. Because currently, the weary travellers were no longer traders. Instead, they were a mob of enraged farmers and a host of my kingdom¡¯s knights sent for whatever terrible reason to make things worse. Thus, only one of two things could happen. 1: A bloodlust fuelled rampage. Violence, pitchforks and flames as the farmers rightfully enacted retribution for all the daughters the knights had promised and failed to marry, followed by the ensuing panic as the amnesiac knights sought to defend themselves against the threats to their hairline. Or worse¨C 2: Everything I was seeing. ¡°Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink Drink!¡± I tugged Apple to a pause. My hands covered my nose. It still wasn¡¯t enough. The odour of debauchery was overwhelming. As was the destruction. Tables, chairs and window shutters lined the lane which made up this impromptu settlement. And the culprits were all around me. To my left, a bold and gallant knight of my realm stood atop the remains of a door, several steins of alcohol being juggled to loud cheers as froth and liquid went spiralling in all directions. To my right, farmers and knights took turns to ride a large wooden keg, each drawing winces and laughter as they diligently attempted to crack more bones than each other. To my front, a squire had his own master in a headlock while repeatedly palming his back. An olive was spat out a moment later, its arrival marked by the cheering of a crowd only marginally disappointed nobody had died. Everywhere I looked, I witnessed a scene of drunken revelry. If something could be broken, it already was. There was only one exception. The spirit of camaraderie. That had been repaired. ¡°Yer a lousy piece o¡¯ work,¡± said a farmer, his head swaying side to side as he sat beside a knight with a bruise on his cheek. ¡°The worst ruffian I¡¯ve ever met.¡± ¡°Thank you,¡± replied the knight, his voice slurred as he raised an empty wine glass. ¡°I admit I¡¯m the worst ruffian you¡¯ve ever met.¡± ¡°Lazy. Womanising. Dull. But you ¡­ you ain¡¯t too bad.¡± ¡°Same goes for you, my two headed friend. Same goes for you.¡± And just like that, they toasted to a friendship forged in the flames of alcohol. I paused in thought. A moment later, I turned to my beaming loyal handmaiden. ¡°Coppelia.¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°I seem to have forgotten why we came here.¡± ¡°The stated reason we came here is due to the threat of civil unrest propelling the downtrodden peasants of your tiny kingdom into a wide ranging rebellion. The true reason is because of a lack of cake.¡± ¡°I see.¡± I nodded. ¡°Thank you. I remember now.¡± ¡°No problem! Want to know my assessment?¡± ¡°Go ahead.¡± ¡°Your kingdom is doomed.¡± I placed my face in my palms. It ¡­ It was true! Normally, I¡¯d deny her words. And yet as I ignored a brave knight volunteering his helmet as a drinking cup, all I could see was the ruins of my kingdom¡¯s image! If that was gone, then nothing else remained! ¡°Why ¡­ Why is everyone inebriated ¡­ ?!¡± Indeed, no matter where I looked, it was a scene of unacceptable festivity! There was only one reason for so much public joy! And my birthday had already passed! But the worst part was ¡­ I¡¯d seen this before! Many times! Indeed, the way they tossed aside all thoughts of decorum as they headbutted the ground ¡­ it was exactly like how adventurers acted on any given day! The unbridled devastation! The property damage! The disorderly conduct! The shameless vandalism! This was exactly like stepping into any guild hall of the Adventurer¡¯s Guild! In fact ¡­ if I wasn¡¯t mistaken, this was uncannily like the Adventurer¡¯s Guild ¡­ almost as if there was an open bar somewhere, with utterly no thought towards consequences. My suspicions rose at once. Raising myself on my saddle, I looked over the heads of the bumbling drunkards. I found the culprit at once. A smiling young woman in an all too familiar uniform, boasting a sign over her shoulder. Happy Hour, Every Hour! A Free Drink With Every Purchase! The Wessin Bridge Adventurer¡¯s Guild ¡°Happy hour is still here!¡± she cried, waving her sign like the surrender flag this entire organisation was fated to do. ¡°We have a fresh delivery of golden ales, local plum wines and unmarked alcohol which requires a waiver form to be signed! Every drink comes with another free drink!¡± My jaw dropped. Before me, the receptionist of the Adventurer¡¯s Guild cheerfully enticed customers towards the direction of the most desecrated building here. Even the sign was loose, hanging upon a single nail as it whacked against the heads of every satisfied customer streaming in and out of the guild hall. I could scarcely believe it. ¡°How ¡­ How dare they!¡± I said, throwing up my arms in grief. ¡°These parasites¨Cno, something worse¨C these ¡­ these pebbles with sharp edges on a beach in human form! ¡­ They are now profiteering on the threat of a rebellion!¡± Indeed! It could be nothing else! I was outraged! All this time, I¡¯d generously assumed they only wished for overt political power under the thin guise of assisting the common people with their mundane wishes for a better life! Instead, here they were, outright earning crowns on the back of calamity! ¡°Oooh~ I smell bay leaves.¡± Coppelia went to her tip-toes in interest. ¡°I think the customers are adding things to the food cauldron. Want to give it a try? I bet the taste of shoes is almost hidden away.¡± I shook my head. ¡°If the taste of shoes is almost gone, then the guild will need to add it back in. This is unacceptable.¡± ¡°... You mean you prefer shoes?¡± ¡°No, I prefer the Adventurer¡¯s Guild not encouraging drunken behaviour outside the confines of their halls. It is most certainly not needed. This is appalling!¡± I wrinkled my nose at the mess. Someone other than me was going to have to tidy this up. And they could begin immediately after answering my questions. Thus, I tugged on Apple¡¯s reins once more. He trotted forwards, bravely ignoring the overwhelming odour as well as anyone unfortunate enough to mistake him for a giant moving wig. ¡°Happy hour is still here! Come visit the Adventurer¡¯s Guild for a ¡­ oh, greetings! How may I help you?¡± We stopped before the smiling receptionist. She stood as though behind a desk, posture straight as a ruler and smile immaculately woven like a spider¡¯s web. Naturally, I wouldn¡¯t be tricked. Whatever scheme she was taking part in, I would discern. Especially if she simply told me. ¡°Salutations. My apologies for disturbing you in the midst of a busy trading session. However, I must query if you have the appropriate licence for it. As far as I¡¯m aware, the guild doesn¡¯t have permission to empty its unwanted liquor onto the streets.¡± ¡°Indeed, we do not,¡± she replied, all the while leaning her sign away from my loyal steed¡¯s searching nibbling. ¡°However, we¡¯ve been given emergency permission by the local garrison.¡± ¡°Emergency permission? To do what? Lower productivity?¡± ¡°The guildmaster was concerned with rising aggression due to the presence of multiple conflicting parties. In order to stem this, he suggested dispensing our stores of beverages at extremely low prices. This initiated aggressive cost cutting throughout all the alcoholic establishments in the area.¡± The receptionist smiled as she directed another drunkard towards the guild branch. ¡°It appears to be successful,¡± she said brightly. My mouth widened in disbelief. ¡°Excuse me?! You flooded the town with cheap alcohol to lower hostilities?! What if it went wrong?!¡± ¡°In that case, the guildmaster would propose a new idea.¡± ¡°And what is that?¡± ¡°Unfortunately, I do not know. You would need to query him.¡± The receptionist duly pointed to the side. There, partially naked and full of mirth, was a drunkard who was beyond saving. He was surrounded by an applauding audience as he demonstrated how to not only conquer riding one rolling keg, but two at the same ¡­ for all of the two seconds he wasn¡¯t a sprawling pile on the ground. I pursed my lips. These people. Others saw a kingdom in peril. They saw it as an opportunity to get drunk. ¡°... Fine.¡± I turned to the receptionist. ¡°You will do.¡± ¡°Of course! What may I help with?¡± ¡°Everything. Please explain in five words or fewer what I¡¯m seeing. I heard there were needlessly unhappy peasants at the Wessin Bridge. I¡¯ve now arrived to see a host of knights despite the fact that they¡¯re the last people I would summon for anything other than a hand mirror. Why is this?¡± The receptionist nodded. ¡°Outlaws.¡± Hmm. Only a single word. And yet I was already filled with regret. A valuable skill for when I eventually hired each and every receptionist to my side instead. ¡°I see ¡­ and what is this about outlaws?¡± ¡°There has been an unprecedented increase in banditry in the region. The Wessin Bridge garrison captain believes that the outlaws who reside in the south of the Ivywood have become organised. However, despite the increased patrols, the guards have been unable to discern where the outlaws operate. The knights are here to assist.¡± I looked around me. At the assisting knights. Most of them on the ground. That in itself wasn¡¯t a surprise. Knights were the greatest brigands of all when it came to making a mess of taverns. But what was unusual was the fact they were here in such numbers. Their gentleman¡¯s agreement regarding not angering too many fathers in one place ordinarily didn¡¯t allow it. ¡°It¡¯s unusual for so many knights to answer such an ordinary call for assistance,¡± I said, leaning away in anticipation for what was to come. ¡°... What else is there?¡± ¡°¨CA pale knight.¡± Suddenly, a deep voice came from behind. I duly turned around to see a suit of gleaming armour shadowing over me. I looked up. And then I looked up some more. Before me was an inhabitant of the Spiral Isle. The land where chivalry still held sway, officially ranking as the safest place in the world for a princess to nap outside of my orchard. A realm where knighthood was celebrated and honour was found even in the seediest alleys. A minotaur. S~ea??h the N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. A rare sight in my kingdom. Especially since the last one I¡¯d seen wasn¡¯t so much a questing knight as a common bandit. A true pioneer. Yet while I couldn¡¯t vouch for this one, I could accept he at least dressed the part. Both his silver armour and the greatsword upon his back were so bright that more than a few knights were being dazzled awake from their drunken states. The rest stared at the thick horns protruding from the finely crafted helmet instead. The minotaur paid them no heed. ¡°There is a pale knight,¡± he added, his crimson eyes alight with seriousness as he stared at me. ¡°Or rather, the Pale Knight. The bandits who hound your realm no longer do so out of petty opportunism. They follow the directions of a single voice. One which almost every knight here dreams to slay, for this foe is legend. A shade, perhaps, who appears in the blackest pages of history.¡± I blinked. ¡°Excuse me? Did you say that a ¡­ a thing in the guise of a knight is now bringing terror to my kingdom?¡± ¡°I am, yes. And that is why so many have come to claim the accolades which come with his head. A brave notion, but one I fear is foolish. The Pale Knight is a harbinger of darkness. And in all the tomes his name is written, it is said that where he goes, pestilence and doom follows.¡± I turned to the receptionist. She nodded. ¡°Details with the guild are sparse ¡­ but I can confirm multiple 1st hand sightings of a figure matching the historical description of the Pale Knight, as well as an ability to come and go with an unnatural mist.¡± I was aghast. I¡¯d come here to calm a peasant revolt ¡­ and now I was being told that there was some ¡­ unholy spectre wrapped in a foul legend had come to my kingdom! Why ¡­ if I¡¯d known that, I wouldn¡¯t have worried! Ohohohohohohohohoho! H-How wonderful! A horrific creature from the shadowy depths was now here! That was ¡­ That was marvellous! It meant I now had someone to blame!! ¡°I see,¡± I said, nodding profusely. ¡°As expected, any stirring up of the masses is no coincidence. That is simply awful¨Cand I intend for them and nobody in a position of current power to be held accountable. Thank you for telling me this, Sir Minotaur. Is this what brings you to the Kingdom of Tirea?¡± ¡°It is not,¡± he replied with a mournful shake of his head. ¡°While I would slay any villain who claims the mantle of the Pale Knight were they to appear before me, that is not my cause for being here.¡± The minotaur removed his helmet and held it by his side. ¡°I am Sir Arthur Tranlingway, Knight of the Order of Fortitude. By the Minotaur¡¯s Code, I am charged with a sacred quest. And although what I seek is different to every knight here, the path of justice we walk is the same. I believe I have information regarding this spectre to offer the Adventurer¡¯s Guild.¡± I clapped my hands in delight. ¡°My, is that so? Then perhaps we might be able to assist one another! I do not know anything regarding what this ¡­ shade who haunts my kingdom is, but I would value any information to put it to rest.¡± ¡°That is reassuring to hear. And would you be in a position to offer assistance in return, brave maiden?¡± ¡°Certainly.¡± I placed my hand atop my chest and smiled. ¡°What is the nature of your sacred quest?¡± The minotaur, Sir Arthur Tranlingway, wore a sombre expression as his shoulders dropped. ¡°It is one of personal retribution. My younger brother was assailed in this kingdom.¡± ¡°Truly? That is awful! What happened?¡± ¡°The details are ¡­ fragile. However, I know for certain he was assailed outside the royal capital of Reitzlake. He was showcasing his labyrinths at the time when he was cruelly set upon. He recalls being sent through the air at great speed. Would you know anything about this particular incident?¡± The minotaur silently blinked down at us. Coppelia and I looked at each other. ¡°No,¡± we said. Chapter 356: Sweet Premonitions The minotaur¡¯s heavy footsteps padded alongside Apple¡¯s trotting. Boasting a powerful frame, he was a presence as impressive as he was useful. Indeed, with his silver armour and gleaming greatsword to capture the attention of my knights and Coppelia¡¯s smile to cause the peasants to shuffle away, little hindered us as we made our way across the Wessin Bridge and over the wide river below. Where our destination was, I didn¡¯t know. Only that it was one the minotaur preferred to say where his naturally baritone voice wouldn¡¯t be overheard. Naturally, I was stunned. The fact that discretion was known to a knight was more striking to me than any flamboyant manoeuvre they could accomplish with a hair comb. Especially as he was currently applying it with regards to my royal identity. ¡°It¡¯s envious to see an adventurer so young,¡± said the minotaur with an approving nod. ¡°My horns were fully grown by the time I was even allowed to consider swinging my first sword as a squire. The Adventurer¡¯s Guild does not exist in my homeland to offer a different opportunity, you see.¡± I offered a polite smile. So polite, in fact, that only the many competing responses shoving each other out of the way caused me to continue smiling. ¡°Is that so? Goodness. How fortunate that the plague has yet to reach the Spiral Isle.¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°The plague of ill deeds which threatens this kingdom, I mean. Indeed, it¡¯s most fortunate that adventurers are not required to fill up your bars, for the presence of knights is all that¡¯s required.¡± The minotaur chuckled. ¡°True. Although my brothers-in-arms seek ever to further their fame, I fear that nothing will quite outdo their reputation for being excellent customers. Even so, I dare say we fall short compared to the knights of this realm.¡± A knight rose from his little heap of spilled cups in answer. He took off his helmet and offered a nod as we passed, never once realising that the helmet in question was simply a bucket still with laundry inside. A dotted ladies frock covered his eyes. I pursed my lips. ¡°In that case, perhaps the Spiral Isle could consider a cultural exchange? I¡¯m certain there¡¯s much the knights here could learn ¡­ immediately, if possible.¡± ¡°I¡¯m afraid there¡¯s little we could teach them. The wording in our vows may differ, but the path we walk is the same. Sadly, this also includes being stumped by the same obstacles. If anything, I believe we could all learn from the Adventurer¡¯s Guild instead.¡± ¡°I see. That sounds terrible.¡± ¡°... Hm?¡± ¡°A terrible way to spend your valuable time instead of performing noble deeds, I mean. Adventurers and knights are considerably different. One loyally serves the realm and one loyally serves their desires to wade in pits of mud.¡± The minotaur blinked at me. ¡°Is ¡­ Is that so? Well, we all have our own wishes. And I¡¯m not one to judge.¡± ¡°You should. Mud doesn¡¯t deserve to be disturbed by the boots of adventurers.¡± ¡°In that case, I¡¯m certain the mud is forgiving. All the more so since the boots are worn by those who are rightfully admired. I must say, I¡¯m deeply impressed. To endeavour yourself towards the pursuit of justice at your age is a most noble thing. I see you must make a fine adventurer.¡± I offered a courteous nod in the form of a violent shake of my head. It was the least I could do for his performance, after all. Despite being masterfully incognito, it was a given that such close proximity to my regal aura meant this knight doubtless knew who I was. Even so, he was proving as discreet as he was polite. Why, not only had he resisted begging me for my blessing as was the traditional greeting, but he¡¯d also spared my ears any boasts concerning his deeds or his breakfast to me. That was unprecedented. In fact, all he spoke about was his admiration for adventurers. Relentlessly. Indeed ¡­ the way he enthusiastically queried me about the functions of the guild I proudly didn¡¯t know about, it was almost as though he truly believed I considered myself part of that shameful organisation. ¡­ Something which needed amending in the tiny chance this was genuine. ¡°My status as an adventurer is a temporary arrangement,¡± I said, my tone clear on the matter. ¡°Rest assured, there¡¯s a reason for all things other than the invention of the glazed carrot. That includes why a delicate maiden would embark on such an unfitting path.¡± ¡°Oh? And, uh ¡­ what would that be?¡± ¡°Pride, naturally. My kingdom is imperilled. I cannot stand idly by while the shadows seek ever to encroach upon its fair fields.¡± The minotaur nodded. ¡°Pride runs both ways. Although it is often a precursor to foolhardiness, so too is it a courage stronger than any drink. Sadly, I fear that it will take more than zeal to see these shadows undone, or else these proud knights would have already found the rogues who tarnish your land.¡± I looked around at the proud knights in question. Unlike the purposeful discretion offered by the minotaur, the silence my knights afforded me was due to a haze of drunken stupor. To them, I was simply an incredibly beautiful maiden with multiple noses. And that meant Apple was on snorting duty whenever one wandered too close. I patted his mane. He needed extra premium apples for this extra workload. ¡°A sad inflexibility,¡± I said diplomatically. ¡°That knights strive to meet their opponents in honourable combat doesn¡¯t mean that others will meet them in turn.¡± ¡°Quite so. Hence the reason I sought the Adventurer¡¯s Guild. Your reputation to achieve tasks in ways that are deemed inventive is legendary.¡± Ugh. I rolled my eyes. The guild may not have set up roots in every kingdom yet, but their propaganda had. ¡°Yes, well, when it comes to abducting cats, they will truly stop at nothing. But for threats such as a band of common ruffians and whatever ghoul seeks to lead them, what matters is sobriety and the ability to walk in a straight line. Fortunately, I also happen to be highly talented in all things.¡± ¡°Your ¡­ confidence is encouraging. Although I hope to see the outlaws who terrorise the people here banished, I look forward to any assistance in finding the dastardly rogues I seek. I believe I am close.¡± Coppelia loudly coughed. I nudged her with my foot. ¡°O-Ohohohoho! ¡­ Fear not, all who transgress within these borders will be apprehended. This is a kingdom of law, after all.¡± ¡°That is most encouraging to hear.¡± ¡°Indeed, here, laws are deeply respected and must be followed by all¨Cincluding visitors. This means that if anyone should break said laws, it is also perfectly within the right for those tasked with the kingdom¡¯s safekeeping to remove any lawbreakers.¡± ¡°Of course. While I seek personal retribution, I am no vigilante. My fury will not come at the expense of formal justice. Whatever this kingdom decides is appropriate as a punishment, I shall not begrudge.¡± I clapped my hands in delight. ¡°Oh, is that so? ¡­ Then that¡¯s excellent! The judges who preside over the courts here are most impartial and unlikely to be moved by somebody standing directly over their shoulder while tapping their feet.¡± ¡°Indeed, I¡¯ve no doubt of that. Hence, I will simply wait my turn.¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°Once the villains who have dishonoured my younger brother are found, I will appropriately wait for the kingdom to enact its punishment before I deliver my own. As a questing knight, I¡¯m sensitive to the laws of other kingdoms. But that doesn¡¯t preclude us from following our own.¡± The minotaur nodded as he stared ahead. His gauntlets came together. The mailed knuckles clanged with enough force to wake a dozen sleeping louts just before they barrelled out of the way of Apple¡¯s coming. I offered a polite smile. As did Coppelia. ¡°Fwwwfffft.¡± Behind a coconut that she was sipping using a straw, all the while watching in shameless amusement. I hardly saw why. As far as my memories were concerned, two maidens were present while being accosted by a minotaur bandit. And only one of them had the arms of enchanted steel necessary to send them into flight. ¡°However, I believe my quest is near an end,¡± said the minotaur, his gauntlets falling to his side. ¡°I¡¯ve a promising source who can lift the veil. Soon, I hope to know who assailed my brother and who this shade wearing the name of a fallen knight truly is.¡± ¡°I ¡­ I see! Who might this source be? ¡­ And how accurate would you say they are regarding unsubstantiated and witnessless events which occurred several weeks in the past?¡± ¡°Quite accurate. Or so I¡¯m led to believe. After all, there are few shamans who are so famed despite having long abandoned their pursuit.¡± ¡°A ¡­ shaman?¡± ¡°A shaman, yes. A matron unique amongst humans. For it¡¯s said that she was taught by the spirit seers of orc clans. She can communicate with the earth itself, listening to the echoes of what once passed. It is for her that I came to the Wessin Bridge.¡± I nodded ¡­ all the while charitably considering how best to save Coppelia from a minotaur¡¯s disgruntlement. ¡°Is that so? A shaman. A deeply unofficial profession assumed by those who didn¡¯t have the talent to pass a mage exam. I¡¯m afraid you¡¯re unlikely to receive the news you desire. There are many footsteps which happen upon the ground, each muddying the other.¡± ¡°True, but while my own wishes might go unanswered, I¡¯ve little doubt the matron can shed light regarding the outlaws. I believe she herself has been a victim to them.¡± Suddenly, a deep frown appeared on the minotaur¡¯s face. He gave a huff through his nose. ¡°I happened across the scene myself. Upon arriving at the Wessin Bridge, I sought the matron out, hoping she would see me even in the night. I saw instead figures of ill-repute exiting her door.¡± ¡°For those visiting a shaman in the night, I would expect nothing less.¡± ¡°Perhaps. But the matron no longer advertises her services. She¡¯s since taken up a more ordinary business. And that invites ordinary burglars. I recognised them just from their movements. Naturally, they scarpered without thought to explain themselves.¡± I raised a brow in puzzlement. ¡°I see? Then you¡¯ve already spoken with this unqualified mage?¡± The minotaur shook head. ¡°With little success. For an elderly human to be burgled is a harrowing affair. She rejected my concern and closed her door before me. Yet I hope she may now be inclined to render aid.¡± ¡°These ruffians are bold, if they are committing something as brazen as robbery at the Wessin Bridge.¡± ¡°Boldness is their forte. But also foolishness. This Pale Knight has brought many brigands under his heel. And when one becomes the head, all must pay their dues. There¡¯s only so much gold to be found in the same barn.¡± The minotaur turned to me with an expectant nod. ¡°I hoped that the guild would be able to offer a soft touch. I fear that I¡¯m not the most subtle of speakers. I would therefore like you to make your own inquiries. If payment is needed, I can provide reimbursement. It will be worth it. I feel it in my horns.¡± Sear?h the Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. I offered the coin purse by his side the look of pity it deserved. After all, I had my well-placed doubts regarding the validity of any directions given by strange women in huts. Moreover, if anyone was capable of discerning who was behind the ire of my farmers, then they¡¯d almost certainly have been approached already. But then again ¡­ he could feel something in his horns! Perhaps that was like when a princess felt something upon the back of her neck when a loyal handmaiden was reaching for the saddlebag containing the premium apples? ¡°... Very well,¡± I said, offering a polite smile as I shooed Coppelia¡¯s hand away. ¡°If your horns say so, then who am I to disregard such a premonition?¡± ¡°Thank you. I offer my appreciation for your time. The matron¡¯s shop isn¡¯t far.¡± ¡°Wonderful. Is it the first ominous hut that I see?¡± ¡°It¡¯s not an ominous hut. It¡¯s a shop.¡± The minotaur pointed ahead. ¡°It¡¯s small, but colourful. I believe she sells confectionery.¡± I blinked. ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°It is a bakery of some description. I¡¯m afraid I¡¯m not versed enough in the products I saw to know what they are, but they appeared artisan. For anyone to disregard their magic training to undertake such a new and radical business must mean they¡¯re quite proficient.¡± I nodded. Then, I peered around me as I realised we¡¯d crossed into the half of my kingdom which wasn¡¯t blocked by drunkards. And that meant one thing. There was now cake. ¡°... H-How dare these ruffians accost my people! The suffering and harm they¡¯ve endured shall not go unanswered! Come, we must leave no stone unturned!¡± My hands began shaking Apple¡¯s reins. They stopped only a moment later. And it had nothing to do with wanting to hop off Apple because Coppelia was now skipping merrily ahead without me. No ¡­ rather, it was because there was something familiar in the air. A warming aroma which tickled my memory like the grass of a spring afternoon not unlike this one. Except that rather than being starved of essential nutrients, I was drowning in it. After all, Florella was known for many things. Her adherence to sensible portion sizes wasn¡¯t one of them. When given command of a kitchen, she could make even a 13 layer cake look miniature in comparison to the mountains she could craft. Especially when they were her infamous 5 ingredient secret love stuffed knuckle-shaped ¡®la misericordia final¡¯ chouquettes, each loose pastry threatening to trigger a landslide upon me. A strange thing, then ¡­ as well as mildly horrifying. Because unless I was mistaken, that was very much what was now wafting through the air. Chapter 357: Trading Standards I swallowed the aroma as I took in the sight around me. S§×ar?h the n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Wooden shelves stacked with drying pastries. Tables overflowing with slightly burned bread rolls. Piles of cupcakes all slightly squished. And a sign which proudly hung off-centre behind the counter. Auntie Hilda¡¯s Bakery. It was much too dim, much too small and much too disorganised. In short, a completely ordinary bakery. And that ¡­ that was wonderful! Ohohohohohoho! Dough rising in an oven! Sugar caramelising in a pot! Ginger fighting against honey and cloves! No longer was I met with a lingering cold scent and meek apologies! Instead, all the shelves around me were filled with a passable selection of everything a princess needed to survive ¡­ and this meant I could afford a smile! Indeed! Croissants, rolls and strudels all sat waiting for my judging eye! True, the fact that there wasn¡¯t a member of staff constantly sweeping up bits of crumbling pastry was already a poor sign ¡­ but the fact there was anything to judge at all meant that all was well in the world. Yes, even if the world consisted of a rather cramped bakery. Frankly, it was abundantly clear why a minotaur wouldn¡¯t be allowed to browse inside. His horns would have simply poked through the ceiling, to say nothing of his sword accidentally swiping the mounds of cupcakes away. Luckily, he now had a far more important task. Standing outside and looking imposing. He was doing splendidly. Only his shadow entered through the tiny window, and that meant no disturbances as I studied the most unexpected of sights. There, stacked upon a large platter upon the counter, was unmistakably Florella¡¯s original La Misericordia Final chouquettes. I recognised them at once. The bright dusting of green tea powder. The aroma of vanilla. The lure of custard and buttercream. And also the promise of extraordinary bitterness. Yes. These were not ordinary little balls of pastries. Rather, they were an experiment which had set the world of gastronomy alight. Because whereas ordinary chouquettes were little more than puffs of sugar pretending to be dough, hers invited a peek into the grim blackness of the abyss. After all, they came with an ingredient nobody else had ever dared try before¨C Quantifiable love. Otherwise known as a highly concentrated emulsion of raw coffee beans and optimism. They were a creation so infamous that the servants tasked with carrying them needed to wear gloves and goggles borrowed from Clarise¡¯s observatory. Even accidental contact was dangerous. For upon consumption, they were an astringent ball of destruction upon one¡¯s tongue. But only for the unprepared. Once the feverish hallucination and choking had come to an end, what eventually came was a soothing ocean of delight. A caress of sugar, eggs and milk from the velvety custard to help ease away the relentless darkness of raw coffee, until all that was left was an inexplicable desire for more. Of course, to most, it was simply far too unyielding. Given that the recipe was highly complex too, I was stunned to find such a thing being sold outside. Indeed ¡­ this could mean only one thing! Yes ¡­ the standards of common bakeries were finally rising! I clapped my hands in delight. ¡°Ohhohohohoho ¡­ how wondrous! Coppelia, do you see these little pastries?!¡± ¡°Mmh~ I smell them too! There¡¯s something weird going on.¡± ¡°Not at all! On the contrary, for the common people to emulate my family is the most ordinary thing there is!¡± ¡°Eh?¡± I smiled brightly and pointed. ¡°Why, these are unmistakably the famed work of my eldest sister! That her original creation has managed to extend to even a tiny bakery is a measure of the people¡¯s respect for her! ¡­ Goodness, I had no idea the recipe had even been shared!¡± ¡°Ooh~ does that mean it¡¯s dangerous?¡± ¡°E-Excuse me! Why would you assume anything made by my family is dangerous?¡± ¡°... Is it?¡± ¡°Well, it¡¯s ¡­ it¡¯s a very bold flavour.¡± ¡°Okay. So it¡¯s like a 7 on the cursed chart?¡± ¡°It is not cursed. It is blessed. Just like everything touched by the diligent hands of my family.¡± ¡°It¡¯s an 8, isn¡¯t it?¡± ¡°Initial impressions might be an 8, yes,¡± I conceded. ¡°However, that¡¯s merely an indication of its complexity. These chouquettes are quite famous after the function they were first introduced. Half the guests went from finalising their wills to plucking extras with their fingers. That¡¯s the sort of effect they have.¡± Coppelia raised an arm enthusiastically. ¡°I want to try!¡± ¡°Of course.¡± I offered a bright smile at her enthusiasm. And maybe her blissful ignorance too. Naturally, it was also my duty to share in whatever momentary discomfort she felt. Although I didn¡¯t expect anything that was crudely emulated to compare with my sister¡¯s work, it was only right that I encourage the common bakeries of my kingdom to strive for higher standards. Thus, I patiently waited for the proprietor¨Call the while stretching over the counter and waving. A moment later, an elderly lady rewarded my subtlety. Appearing from the kitchen, she was the very picture of a kindly auntie. With a bun of grey hair, a melodic hum at her lips and a warm smile, she looked more likely to give away her pastries than sell them. Instead, she swiftly made her way over to the counter, paying no need to her apron covered with enough flour to restock all of the shelves. Her eyes were a veritable fountain of life. Likely since we were her only customers. ¡°Goodness me,¡± she said with a joyful tone. ¡°I see the bell above the door has fallen off again. Apologies, apologies. I hope I didn¡¯t keep you waiting. What would you like, my dears?¡± I pointed at the mound of chouquettes. ¡°Salutations. I¡¯d like to inquire about how you came about this recipe.¡± The elderly auntie gave a good-hearted laugh. I smiled and waited. ¡°... Oh, you do?¡± she said, clearing her throat momentarily. ¡°Well, in that case, I suppose you can call it a flash of inspiration. The recipe came to me in a dream.¡± ¡°A dream?¡± I was shocked. Why ¡­ to think that Florella had such powers as to deliver baking recipes through dream delivery! As expected of my sister, she was truly capable! ¡°Indeed, my dear.¡± The auntie smiled. ¡°It¡¯s been a good few years since I¡¯ve had one of them. But each time I do, I¡¯m guaranteed a new favourite. Have you heard of these, then? They¡¯re my best sellers. It¡¯s a slow day, what with the trouble outside. But usually, I get quite a few in just for them.¡± I nodded towards the green powdered chouquettes. ¡°I see. I¡¯d expect nothing less. They certainly appear normal.¡± ¡°Well, I hope they also taste normal. Why not have a try now? A free sample.¡± ¡°Truly? How very generous!¡± I beamed, immediately poking Coppelia¡¯s hand away as she reached for the entire mound to sample. ¡°... But before I do, I have an additional query to make.¡± ¡°Oh? What is it?¡± ¡°It¡¯s regarding the ruffians who plague this town.¡± The auntie blinked at me. ¡°I¡¯m not certain if I can help with that. All my customers are excellent.¡± ¡°Even those who trouble you in the night?¡± She paused. A moment later, her eyes wandered to the shadow blocking the window. Her smile turned to one of apology. ¡°Ah. The concerned gentleman from the previous night ¡­ I¡¯m uncertain what he¡¯s told you, but I¡¯m afraid there¡¯s been a terrible misunderstanding. I had my nephews visiting me, and rascals though they are, I wouldn¡¯t quite call them ruffians yet. I should offer the minotaur an apology. He rather startled me¨Cand I dare say my younger family too.¡± ¡°Is that so? I¡¯m certain he¡¯ll be relieved to hear that. Yet perhaps you can still assist. I¡¯m told you can discern the identity of whichever ghoul is disrupting your business by using ¡­ unique magic.¡± The auntie¡¯s smile didn¡¯t fade. However, the energy from her eyes did. Her shoulders drooped as she let out a sigh she¡¯d doubtless made countless times before. ¡°I see the rumours continue to follow me, no matter how many cakes I sell ¡­ however, I¡¯m afraid I must disappoint you as well. It¡¯s true I once dabbled in spirit walking. But that was long ago. These days, I can¡¯t even call a spark to my finger. I¡¯ve a new life now. Not as a shaman, but as a baker.¡± ¡°Hm. It seems a remarkably different life.¡± ¡°Oh yes.¡± She nodded furtively. ¡°But we all grow and change. Myself as well. Magic is a dangerous gift, you see, and I¡¯m happy not to need it to see my customers smile. I apologise, my dear, but I¡¯m unable to offer my past services.¡± I nodded, neither surprised nor disappointed. After all, I only came to bakeries for one reason. And that was to replenish our critical provisions. If they also became a source of information, that¡¯d simply distract from the more important task. ¡°Understandable.¡± I plucked the topmost pastry from the chouquette mound. ¡°Thank you for your time. I¡¯d like to purchase a large stock of hazelnut croissants, apple strudels and cinnamon rolls.¡± The auntie¡¯s back straightened all of 1 degree ¡°That I can help with. How many of each did you wish to buy? If needed, I¡¯m happy to bake more.¡± ¡°Realy? That¡¯s marvellous! In that case, I¡¯m going to ¡­ hmmmm?¡± ¡°... My dear?¡± A quizzical look came my way. It was nothing compared to my own. I stared at the chouquette I¡¯d raised in front of me. And then I continued to stare. Because although it looked the part, there was something peculiar beyond simply the stale texture. Something which even being left out to dry in a dimly lit bakery couldn¡¯t explain. Slowly, I nibbled on the very end ¡­ and then I nodded. Awful. Absolutely awful ¡­ but also amazing. The proportions of ingredients were all wrong. The bitterness was hardly present. The custard was stodgy. The vanilla was frail. The buttercream lacked both butter and cream. And the powdered green tea was clearly used for only decoration and not flavour. Altogether, it was bland, depressing, characterless ¡­ and also wonderful. I stared in shock at the filling. Indeed, it was the most forgettable and therefore ordinary pastry I¡¯d ever eaten from a common bakery ¡­ and yet instead of immediately dismissing it from my mind, I couldn¡¯t help but feel a sense of immense satisfaction mixed with my disappointment. A bizarre sensation. Frankly, I didn¡¯t understand it in the slightest. Something was clearly wrong. And it wasn¡¯t my highly refined taste buds. I was a princess. I could name every poor quality ingredient used as well as which speck of dirt it¡¯d been sourced from within 15 paces of accuracy. However ¡­ even I couldn¡¯t discern what made my aversion swing wildly towards enjoyment. Why, it was almost intangible. An ingredient I couldn¡¯t note. Something beyond my palate. It was there and it wasn¡¯t. A thing of utterly no substance, separated from the rest of the pastry. And then¨C I gasped, stepping back as half a chouquette fell to the floor. ¡°... H-How dare you!¡± I said, my hands covering my mouth. ¡°My dear?¡± ¡°You ¡­ You have used magic to enhance the flavour!¡± All of a sudden, the auntie¡¯s eyes widened. She had no right to be stunned. That was entirely for me. After all, what she¡¯d done ¡­ was an unforgivable sin! To cheat, no, to disgrace her entire profession with magic was the lowest of the low! Those caught were instantly exiled into culinary obscurity! It was a heinous crime, for it did away with all the sweat required to make up 95% of the taste! ¡°My dear,¡± said the con artist much too quickly. ¡°I¡¯m not quite sure what you just said. But I think you must be mistaken¨C¡± ¡°I most certainly am not!¡± I pointed to the ¡­ thing on the ground. ¡°You cannot fool me! This ¡­ This is atrocious! The first and doubtless worst imitation of a chouquette I¡¯ll ever suffer! No amount of false enjoyment can smother the lack of quality and expertise beneath!¡± A feigned look of horror met me. ¡°I¡¯m a baking professional! I¡¯ve been doing this for more years than I can count!¡± ¡°Well, it seems you don¡¯t count grams, either! But why should you when magic will make up the rest!¡± ¡°Perhaps ¡­ Perhaps there¡¯s an issue with the ingredients? It¡¯s been a difficult few days.¡± ¡°It¡¯s been longer for your customers, apparently. Why, all this time, they¡¯ve had no idea they¡¯ve been waffling down baked magic! That cannot possibly be healthy!¡± A pause met me. ¡°There¡¯s nothing unhealthy about magic. It¡¯s perfectly natural.¡± ¡°So you admit you¡¯re using magic?!¡± ¡°I admit these chouquettes are my best sellers¨CI¡¯ve even won several awards for them!¡± ¡°Awards not overseen by me and are therefore invalid! This is inexcusable! Using magic to debase such a regal recipe is an act lower than what any bandit on a road could achieve ¡­ and neither me nor my loyal handmaiden will accept it!¡± I waited for Coppelia¡¯s huff of indignation. ¡°Omnomnomnomnomnomnomnom~¡± Instead, I turned in dismay to see a mound of fraudulent chouquettes vanishing into the void. I pursed my lips ¡­ then returned to the equally stunned con artist. ¡°H-How dare you damage Coppelia¡¯s taste buds! They¡¯re already harmed beyond repair! That you would seek to do even more to them is unforgivable!¡± I waited for the apology. However, far from immediately straining to grovel, the fraud briefly wrinkled her nose. The smile she¡¯d worn returned as an impression even worse than her attempt at baking. ¡°My dear. I do believe you¡¯re mistaken. As I said, I can no longer cast magic.¡± ¡°Well, then I suppose there¡¯ll be no issue if I summon the nearest mage to investigate the possibility. I¡¯m certain one can be found in the garrison somewhere. Rest assured, if I¡¯m wrong, I shall offer full reparations.¡± Thus, I immediately turned for the door. Pwam. It closed with a shudder, followed by the sound of a lock being turned. I looked behind me to see a sparkle of magic upon the finger of an auntie who could apparently no longer cast magic. Her eyes narrowed at me, just before she clicked her tongue. ¡°... All right, you brat,¡± she said, the far more natural tone of an irate cat owner replacing the kindly voice from before. ¡°What do you think you¡¯re doing?¡± I raised a hand to my lips, barely covering my smile. ¡°Ohhohohoho! Most wonderful! Indeed, let¡¯s converse without the needless pantomime! Honesty is far better than classless deceit!¡± ¡°Fine. What is it you want? ¡­ Crowns?¡± ¡°Yes. But not from you. You may rejoice. I¡¯ve no wish to extort you. Only to see your scam revealed for all your customers to see.¡± ¡°This is my business. That would ruin it.¡± ¡°That¡¯s impossible. You¡¯ve already done that. And I¡¯ve not a single idea why. Perhaps without the magic, your chouquettes would only be subpar in quality. There are worse ways to embarrass yourself. Such as this.¡± The fraud suddenly snorted. The spark of magic upon her fingertip failed to fade. ¡°Subpar isn¡¯t good enough,¡± she declared. ¡°Do you have any inkling how competitive the world of baking is, girl? It¡¯s more than sugar and spice. But blood enough to turn a street with far too many bakeries into a battlefield.¡± I leaned in and smiled. The auntie leaned back. ¡°Ohohoho ¡­ do you think I don¡¯t know that?¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°I¡¯m the one who presides over those battlefields. My ratings break careers. As you shall now learn.¡±. ¡°... Who are you, girl?¡± A frown filled my eyes. I offered a pleasant smile. ¡°Why, I¡¯m the most impartial judge you¡¯ll ever meet. And you¡¯ve now scored a -1/10. My congratulations. This is an exceedingly rare score. Frankly, with such an overwhelming lack of talent, you should have remained a roadside conjurer or whatever you were before.¡± A look of puzzlement flickered across the swindler¡¯s face. Then, her eyes glanced towards the copper ring disgracing my hand. The reaction was immediate. She lowered her arms, then with a loud clank, she drew out a crooked staff from behind the counter. Taller than she was and grimmer than the wrinkles on her face, it boasted a gemstone of black opal swirling with living magic. ¡°What I was before was the same as now,¡± she said proudly. ¡°Except with a few extra titles. I was Matron Hilda of the Barren Waste. It was I who seized the secrets of the earth from the spirit walkers. And it was I who brought the storm to them. You¡¯re extremely foolish to call me out of retirement, adventurer.¡± I raised an eyebrow. ¡°I hardly see why. Now you can cast your magic freely. Perhaps if you use every speck you possess, you can conjure an actual baker to do your job for you.¡± The auntie¡¯s nostrils flared. A moment later, her staff burst into crackling black flames. Chapter 358: Sugar And Spice All I wanted was a shortcake. This wasn¡¯t difficult. On the contrary, it was the easiest thing in the world. The recipe was public knowledge. All it required were eggs, butter, sugar and a click of my fingers. No matter where I was or what I was doing, I was guaranteed to turn around to the sight of a freshly baked strawberry shortcake held up by a servant with leaves in their hair from whatever shrub they were diligently hiding in. Still, I suppose this was my fault. I¡¯d skipped over the important step of clicking my fingers, after all. As a result, all I received instead were a platter of counterfeit chouquettes, a cat meowing tauntingly somewhere in the distance and an auntie who¡¯d clearly had enough of entertaining her nieces and nephews. Before me, a black staff rose as high as the swindler who wielded it. Wild flames covered its crooked form, and yet far from illuminating the dim bakery, it only blanketed it in fresh shadows. The sinister hue of the flames absorbed the light around it. Only the grim smile of an auntie with utterly no professional standards could be seen. ¡°Really now?¡± I asked, utterly unimpressed. ¡°Are you about to set your bakery alight? If so, I''m more than happy to observe your repentance. From a distance. While laughing.¡± Clank. The staff struck against the ground. Lashes of black embers flew in every direction. I blew a few of them away. ¡°You¡¯re not going anywhere, child.¡± ¡°Well, I''m not going to go far. Rest assured, you¡¯ll be able to hear my laughter as well as everybody else¡¯s. Your bakery turning into a bonfire will be a community event.¡± A snort answered, matched by a flickering of dark flames. ¡°Do you think I care if this bakery burns?¡± she said with a flick of her wrist. ¡°It is meaningless to me. With my reputation, it¡¯d provoke nothing but a cry of sympathy. Poor Auntie Hilda. The sweet lady who manages to feed half the yobs in the kingdom. I¡¯ve been meaning to build a better shop. Maybe I¡¯ll even have it in Reitzlake.¡± I nodded ¡­ all the while raising my hand to my lips. ¡°Ohohohohohoho!!¡± A look of utter grief met my sweet laugh. And no wonder. Off to the side, a certain clockwork doll was diligently gathering evidence of her crimes. Fulfilling her duties to the letter, Coppelia was leaving no corner unturned, beaming while idly stuffing croissants, strudels and rolls into a thatched basket, her pouch and her mouth. Naturally, I was deeply moved. That she¡¯d volunteer to take responsibility for all the poor quality provisions in order to purposefully leave the passable ones for me was a sacrifice I could only accept. Especially if it served to outrage the proprietor even more. ¡°Your eyes must be worse than mine, child,¡± she said, doing her best to ignore Coppelia¡¯s casual ransacking. ¡°Don¡¯t you see the magic pouring forth before you? I can use it to turn your ashes into the first brick of my new store.¡± ¡°Is that so? ¡­ My, how wonderful. I¡¯ve always been known for my charity. I¡¯m certain my ashes would help draw a record number of customers. It certainly won¡¯t be for your lack of talent.¡± ¡°Talent is the ability to make a living beside this rotting bridge.¡± I gasped. ¡°Excuse me! This beautiful bridge is a feat of expert craftsmanship and a major source of taxation.¡± ¡°It is ugly. And the hour I move to Reitzlake, I¡¯ll forget about the moss which haunts my balcony view.¡± ¡°Then you¡¯ll be replacing moss with the sight of scoffing customers as they pass you for a rival. Frankly, you wouldn¡¯t survive a day in the royal capital. No matter how much butter you douse your hopes in, you cannot wash away the odour of amateurism.¡± The staff practically ignited as the end clanked against the floor. Just once more and this bakery could be replaced by something useful instead. ¡°There¡¯s no definition in which I¡¯m an amateur! I¡¯ve been baking professionally for 37 years now!¡± ¡°Well, perhaps you should have spent 5 minutes realising you¡¯d earn more crowns plying your trade as a roadside mage. That¡¯s apparently where your talents lie.¡± A laugh of derision filled the air. ¡°Oh, how little you know,¡± said the unscrupulous auntie, her every wrinkle practically shining. ¡°You think that just because my prices are cheap that my magic is as well. Yet I didn¡¯t learn to conjure bouquets like those wretches at the Royal Academy. The magic I mastered was of earth and storm. And the day I chose to become a simple baker was the day the world sighed in relief. I graciously opted to walk the path of peace. Your lack of respect is encouraging me back towards the joy of destruction.¡± A spark of energy lashed out from the top of her staff. It was followed by tiny streaks of lightning arcing within the surrounding flames like a wild thunderstorm. But only for a moment. The magic soon diminished, a dim light returning to the bakery alongside a kindly smile more feigned than any pastry here. ¡°... But Auntie Hilda isn¡¯t known as a soft touch for nothing,¡± she said, her tone warming. ¡°So I¡¯ll make you the best deal today, my dear. Tell me exactly how you realised there was magic in my wonderful chouquettes, and in return, I¡¯ll tell you something just as useful in return.¡± I was appalled ¡­ mostly at Coppelia¡¯s choice to prioritise ¨¦clairs over profiteroles. One was clearly more suitable for use as a throwing weapon than the other. ¡°And what would that be, exactly? Hindsight regarding your poorly made life choices?¡± The smiling auntie wrinkled her nose. ¡°No. I¡¯ll tell you all about my nephews. And then we can both pretend this conversation never happened. After all, I¡¯m certain you¡¯ll be far more interested in sharing my information with the guild than bothering to stay and disturb my innocent business.¡± My mouth widened in disbelief. Why ¡­ the shamelessness with which she lied was one thing! But the fact she felt she needed to do it at all was the most disgraceful thing here! What was the point of growing wrinkles if not to unilaterally make demands of the young? If Grandmother saw this, she¡¯d be livid! ¡°I see. So your visitors in the night weren¡¯t burglars but associates. As expected, those of ill repute flock together like mice to a common inn ceiling. I¡¯ll therefore make you a better offer.¡± ¡°There is no better offer, child. None of the dimwits the guards capture can tell you about the horror which truly lurks in the shadows. Only I have that information.¡± ¡°Wonderful. So it¡¯s either a ghoul or an overgrown badger. In that case, simply point me in the correct direction and I¡¯ll excuse you from soap making in return.¡± ¡°Soap making ¡­ ?¡± ¡°Soap making.¡± I nodded with pride. ¡°It¡¯s the universal gift of kindness. But for you, the blackness can only be cleansed through learning proper baking techniques. Once you¡¯ve revealed where the ruffians who incite my farmers into drinking during working hours are, I¡¯ll allow you to enrol in a baking course until you can create a single item I deem passable. This is extremely generous.¡± The auntie¡¯s smile hardened. ¡°... My dear, professionalism compels you to accept my considerably more balanced offer. There is something terrifying out there in the woods. The night is darker than you can ever imagine. And I¡¯d be willing to tell you for nothing other than a fair exchange of words.¡± ¡°I see ¡­ and are these words during or after trying to burn me like the egg wash on your brioches?¡± The smile faded entirely. Fwoooosh. A moment later, the black staff rose high as blackened flames engulfed it once again. ¡°I offered you a chance,¡± she said, her brows a single crease. ¡°A pity. You should listen to your elders. My shadow stretches over any simple mage you could have awoken. Do not be fooled by my humble profession, for I am the shah of nature¡¯s most primal elements. I am the mistress who tamed that which cannot be controlled. I quelled the wrath of the world itself when I was but a child. And now I wield it for myself as a ringmaster commands a whip. Behold, child, and see the truth of my black flames and view what even the masters of the storm feared. In my staff is a blablablabla¨C¡± Ughhhhhhh. I rolled my eyes and despaired. It was going to be one of those, wasn¡¯t it? Just one drop of magic and suddenly a simple fireball wasn¡¯t enough. It had to come with a personal backstory. Sadly for this particular mage, shaman or circus act, my ears had long fulfilled that quota. And so as a fresh array of flames began to dance around her crooked staff, I drew Starlight Grace ¡­ and then suddenly blinked as a small knife flew towards me. Clink. I instinctively whacked it away. S~ea??h the N?vel(F)ire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. A moment later, I simply stared at the fallen knife ¡­ as did the wide-eyed auntie who¡¯d thrown it. Still with her staff raised high and swirling with dark flames, she simply stood dumbfounded, her throwing arm outstretched in a pose of a failed assassin. My mouth widened. ¡°Excuse me ¡­ but did you just attempt to murder me in the middle of your own opening speech?¡± She blinked without response. Nearby, Coppelia was covering her mouth, a rare look of horror upon her face. And for good reason. Whether in the Fabled Realm of Ouzelia or the Kingdom of Tirea ¡­ traditions were respected! This woman ¡­ how dare she use her own mundane speech in order to try to murder me! The utter lack of chivalry! That was something I did! Not the people gloating at me! Why ¡­ not only was it an affront to decorum utterly without precedent, but she couldn¡¯t even do it right! That knife was so feebly thrown that even a child could have slapped it away! ¡°... Hm?¡± The auntie gave a meek cough, her back suddenly stooping as an extra decade of age suddenly weighed down upon her. ¡°What did you say? My ¡­ My ears aren¡¯t as good as they used to be.¡± I pointed furiously at the knife. ¡°You ¡­ You were just boasting about your unparalleled control over the elements! ¡­ And then you threw that instead!¡± The fraud followed the line of my fingertip. Only then did she slowly lower her throwing arm. ¡°... Well done, child,¡± she said, a forced smile following a pause. ¡°In truth, I¡¯d hoped to not see my bakery destroyed. It holds many fond memories.¡± ¡°You were just talking about deliberately burning it down!¡± ¡°Yes, but words and actions are often different. I merely wished to instil a life lesson before you died.¡± ¡°That wasn¡¯t a lesson! Nobody ¡­ Nobody else would do such a thing! Do you have the slightest idea how long people wait to do a cackling speech against me? That¡¯s the greatest highlight of any schemer¡¯s life! It¡¯s the memory those banished to crafting soap on an island devoid of hope or warmth cling to! ¡­ How dare you insult their effort!¡± ¡°You misunderstand. I simply saw no need to expend my magic to simply do away with one surprisingly observant adventurer. But I see now it¡¯s unwise for me to hold back.¡± Fwoooosh. Once again, the crooked staff rose amidst a sweep of black flames. Black flames, which despite their impressive appearance, weren''t quite melting the air in the same way that similarly powerful flames cast by those in scandalous undergarments did. ¡°Very well, child. I will show you a passing glimpse of my magic. Although in truth, even that is too much. The oceans and mountains bend to my will, enough that the masters before me each conspired to see me banished. For threatening my reputation, I will allow it to be the last sight you see¨C¡± Suddenly, a dazzling array of light burst forth from the tip of the staff. Like a rainbow forced into a tiny box and then unleashed all at once, the darkness was dispelled to a blinding light. I wasn¡¯t watching. Instead, my eyes were on the auntie¡¯s hand as it disappeared behind the counter ¡­ only to reappear with a loaded crossbow. Twang. Specifically, a crossbow with strings so loose that the bolt came with all the speed of a dying snail. It easily broke in half against Starlight Grace¡¯s waiting edge. And yet as the two newly made pieces fell, it was all I could do to stop my jaw from striking the floor along with them. An attack in the middle of her own threatening monologue. Not once. But twice. And this time with a weapon so poorly maintained that the greatest shock was that it could even work. To say I was appalled would be wrong. I was incensed. ¡°Excuse me?!¡± I threw up my arms in utter disbelief. ¡°You have a staff right there! It¡¯s even glowing! Why are you trying to murder me so underhandedly?! Simply throw a fireball!¡± The most ineffectual rogue I¡¯d ever met gawped. Her widened eyes stared between me and her crossbow, as though that it would somehow mount a defence for her. It didn¡¯t. I let out a gasp. ¡°You ¡­ You can¡¯t, can you? ¡­ You are a double fraud! Is enchanting pieces of bread all you can do?! Is anything you claimed true?!¡± I waited for the response. Eventually, a far more subdued auntie lowered her staff. The crossbow slid from her other hand. ¡°I did meet a shaman once,¡± she said stoically. ¡°Is that it?!¡± ¡°No. I also watched him accidentally incinerate himself with a lightning bolt. I took his staff.¡± ¡°Can you use the staff?!¡± ¡°... I can make it channel minor illusions, yes. There are runes which perform the effect. I believe it¡¯s to enhance the aesthetics of any spell cast.¡± ¡°Well, I certainly hope there¡¯s a rune for summoning a mixing bowl! You¡¯re going to need it when undertaking your baking course on Soap Island!¡± The double swindler made no reply. Instead, she did what anybody else caught in her position would do. She pursed her lips, feigned a look of aloof pride ¡­ and then turned to flee. Betraying her vigour, she dismissed all notions of creaky knees to sprint at a pace to outdo every brigand she was doubtless associated with. But that wasn¡¯t all. As she dashed into her kitchen, she whacked her stolen staff against a table, then immediately tossed it high behind her. A white glow turning to crimson filled the core of the staff as it flew towards me. ¡°[Spring Breeze]!¡± As the staff was duly propelled back, all I heard was a brief cry of surprise before a failed mage dropped to the ground in a pose I was all too familiar with. I did the same, followed by Coppelia as she tossed away all the strudels in her basket to hide beneath that as well. Bwooomph! A moment later, I blew the flour away from my face as I gingerly rose. There, somewhere in a kitchen smothered by a blanket of white, was a groaning figure whose hands were still desperately shielding her head. A large shaft of sunlight from a newly made window above highlighted all the ingredients she¡¯d be collecting for her journey to redemption. Creeeeaaak. And then ¡­ a door opened behind me. The minotaur knight crouched just enough to allow his head to peek inside. A greatsword was in his hand, making the act of squeezing himself through a doorway even more problematic than it usually was. Eventually, he entered, stooping as low as he could. His wide eyes looked at the trembling auntie on the floor. At the newly installed window of a partially destroyed kitchen. At the sword in my hand. And then lastly at me. ¡°... By any chance, are you responsible for my younger brother being sent through the air?¡± I blinked. ¡°No ¡­ ?¡± The minotaur stared at me. After a while, his gaze returned to the state of the bakery. And then he simply nodded. ¡°Oh,¡± he said. ¡°... Okay, then.¡± Book 9 Is Now Available On Amazon!! Hi there! (There was a chapter update today. Hit back if you haven''t read it!) Princess Knight Juliette has now joined the world of eBooks! It''s a scary world out there. Especially Ouzelia. Dragons and layabouts roam the dark corners. But so long as our princess is here, she will continue to ward them away like salt against dark spirits! S§×ar?h the N?vel(F)ire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Thank you so much for your support! If you''d like to help out more than you already do, feel free to drop the book a rating. It helps so much! Book 9: eBook Chapter 359: The Road To Redemption Sir Arthur Tranlingway thought very highly of Reitzlake Cathedral. It was big. And that was good. Few places outside of the Spiral Isle were built with minotaurs in mind. Which was only fair. Most minotaurs were happy to stay exactly as they were. After all, the Spiral Isle was a tropical island famed for being a bastion of honour as well as the birthplace of the pineapple sorbet. And when everywhere else had fewer palm trees and much smaller doorways, it was only expected that few ever saw the need to leave its golden shores. The questing knights of the Spiral Isle made up most of them. But most didn¡¯t mean all. And so Sir Arthur had come to see one of those who¡¯d opted not to take the vow of knighthood. His greaves padded loudly against the stone floor. As he walked, sisters offered their nods. They were of different faiths, but the virtue they defended was the same. As a result, it was with utmost respect that Sir Arthur traversed the great hall, taking care not to disturb those praying at the pews. It was beautiful, if not quite as majestic as the cathedrals boasted by this kingdom¡¯s neighbours. And compared to the Great Temple Colosseum upon the summit of Mount Oros, it was little more than a village chapel. But for all the marble columns it lacked, it made up for in history. It was there upon the mosaic tiles upon the ceiling, the cracks upon the woodwork, and the pride upon the head sister¡¯s smile as she offered a bow just before the main altar. ¡°Greetings. Welcome to Reitzlake Cathedral. Home of the Holy Church in the Kingdom of Tirea.¡± The minotaur returned the bow. ¡°Thank you, sister. I apologise if I¡¯m disturbing you at this time.¡± ¡°There is nothing to disturb. We of the Holy Church never permit our doors to close. Our purpose is one of service. And to that we offer towards all who would walk amidst our halls. Do you require healing, by any chance?¡± ¡°Perhaps tomorrow,¡± said Sir Arthur with an appreciative nod. ¡°But fortunately not yet.¡± He straightened his back. Suddenly, the calm expression he wore faded beneath a hue of concern. ¡°I am Sir Arthur Tranlingway, Knight of the Order of Fortitude. I received a letter informing me that my younger brother has been taken under your care. It mentioned that he¡¯d been pulled from a pond and was currently recuperating.¡± To his surprise, the sister clapped her hands in joy. A fresh bloom of warmth appeared on her cheeks beside her smile. ¡°Ah, I see! You must be here for Brother Henry!¡± Sir Arthur blinked, momentarily puzzled by the odd phrasing to refer to his own sibling. Regardless, he nodded while swallowing the many queries he had. Although he knew the sister could answer, he wished to hear them from the lips of his brother first. At least until he was forced to ask for a more accurate account. ¡°Indeed, I am. There¡¯s much I wish to thank the Holy Church for. The compassion shown in aiding my family will not be forgotten. But for now, may I request to see him, provided it is possible?¡± ¡°Of course.¡± The sister gestured to the side. ¡°He can be found in the 5th annex. It¡¯s to the arched door to the left of those pillars. The smaller one of the two. You may enter without knocking.¡± The minotaur offered another bow. ¡°Thank you, sister.¡± A moment later, he politely assumed a wide berth around those praying as he went to the door indicated. It opened with a gentle push, a tiny creak sounding as he entered a much more humble part of the cathedral. The light dimmed at once, the stained glass replaced with little more than slits in the walls. But although the musk of pews was not present here, the air of solemnity was no less. Especially given the studiousness of the only one praying. Sir Arthur Tranlingway¡¯s eyes could only widen. ¡°Henry ¡­ ?¡± Before him, a figure as large as himself rose from his kneeling position. The minotaur turned. And suddenly, Sir Arthur could only feel a cold wave of despair run through him. His younger brother was now wholly garbed in the attire of the Holy Church. A stretched robe was draped over him like a poorly fitting curtain, his arms lost in sleeves which cupped together in a pose of piousness. That could mean only one thing. He was up to no good. ¡°Henry!¡± Sir Arthur strolled forwards, exasperation in his steps as he threw his arms up. ¡°What is ¡­ What is the meaning of this?¡± Suddenly, all image of his calm exterior was lost amidst the pale shafts of light. He was mortified. Because the truth was that the Spiral Isle gave birth to more than just chivalry. There could be no valour without danger, no songs without silence and no knights without knaves ¡­ and his younger brother was sadly one of them. Far from taking up the path of a questing knight or even the tour advisors which were always in demand in their homeland, he¡¯d instead left to embark on his own misadventures. To traverse without ambition other than to humour his whims. But this ¡­ this was too far. ¡°I cannot believe this! You have ¡­ You have falsely donned the robes of the Holy Church! This alone is something that would draw gasps, but that you would deceive the same ones who shielded you from the drunken mischief you fell into is beyond dishonour! How could you resort to such duplicity?¡± Sir Arthur was beside himself with grief. Whatever scheme he was seeing, there could be no justification ¡­ and yet instead of immediately dragging his younger brother back towards the Spiral Isle, he could only suddenly step back. Because what he received in return was a smile more shining than any he¡¯d ever known. ¡°Brother, there¡¯s no duplicity in this,¡± declared Henry, his eyes matching the vigour in his voice. Sir Arthur could barely stand. He¡¯d been struck with every instrument known to minotaurs and humans, his armour now repaired more times than his horns had been waxed. But seeing his lax brother beaming with a fire in his soul was more shocking than any hammer or sword. ¡°... Henry! What is the meaning of this? I was told you¡¯d been pulled from a pond!¡± A good-natured chuckle met him in reply. ¡°You were told true. A most beautiful and harrowing experience that was. The moment I felt myself dragged upon the docks, I felt as though the hard wood was as soft as a wild meadow.¡± ¡°Then you may feel more of it elsewhere. I¡¯ve come to take you away, so you may do no more mischief.¡± ¡°Indeed, Brother? And what an excellent choice that would¡¯ve been, had you but seen me mere weeks ago. For Henry Tranlingway was a rogue without redemption. A scoundrel without remorse. Who you see now is different. I am now Brother Henry. And I serve as an apprentice cleric of the Holy Church.¡± Sir Arthur gawked. Not because this was another one of his brother¡¯s wild schemes. But because he was being entirely genuine. ¡°You ¡­ You are being earnest, aren¡¯t you?¡± ¡°I am, Brother. More so than I ever have in my life. And as you¡¯ve witnessed much of it, I must offer my apologies. But I hope to do more. I¡¯ve found my calling, much as you¡¯ve found yours. Perhaps now, I might even right the wrongs of my past.¡± Sir Arthur raised his arms in utter confusion. ¡°Henry ¡­ what happened? How did you find yourself in a pond? ¡­ Did you drink from it?¡± ¡°I did not.¡± A pause. ¡°... Well, no, I did. Lots. I distinctly remember spitting out some goldfish. It was deeply uncomfortable. But given the height that I fell, it was very much the least of my concerns.¡± ¡°You fell?¡± ¡°Indeed, Brother. I fell. I fell like a newborn minotaur dropped by a stork. But other than the 11 broken ribs, the twisted shoulder and fractured pinky I suffered, no harm was done. On the contrary, far from losing anything, I found the missing part of me in the artificial trench I¡¯d created. A peace I¡¯d long been searching for.¡± Confusion and all the questions he didn¡¯t wish to ask flickered through Sir Arthur¡¯s mind. ¡­ All of them concerning just how drunk his brother was. ¡°Peace? What is this peace that you found? In all my memories, you¡¯ve never once cared for anything.¡± ¡°That is untrue. For I cared only for myself. I have changed now. I have found purpose. A reason to exist which called out to me in the darkness, guiding me from the depths of my own hubris.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t understand. You were never a pious minotaur. Yet you speak as if you¡¯ve seen the light.¡± ¡°Seen it? ¡­ No, Brother. I have touched it.¡± The minotaur robed in the vestiges of a low ranking cleric raised a palm as though to gather the sparkling dust. He then curled it into a fist, triumphant and proud. ¡°I flew, Brother.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°I flew. Like a dove soaring through the sky, the air lifting my arms. In that moment, I tasted infinity. A gasp of freedom further from the knowledge of minotaurs than dusk is to dawn. I witnessed all the world beneath me, and every petty want, squabble and desire was revealed to be smaller than a leaf upon the horizon. I saw everything as it was meant to be seen. A palette of colours richer than any brush could paint. Neither gold nor silver can compare to the rivers coursing amidst coasts and mountains as pure as snowdrops or the beaks of the migrating ducks as they flew alongside me. I was the lowest minotaur, yet I became the highest¨Cblessed when I should be cursed. The light enveloped me as I rose, and so too as I fell, lighting the goldfish pond like the warmth of Mother¡¯s watery porridge. Now even as I stand, I see the world in a different light. And I wish only to protect it.¡± A din followed, so silent that even the prayers from the great hall sounded as loud as a cacophony. All Sir Arthur could do was blink. ¡°How did you ¡­ fly?¡± he asked in all earnestness. Immediately, shame doused the smile upon his brother¡¯s face. ¡°I did wrong. I built a labyrinth outside Reitzlake. Afterwards, I extorted those who unknowingly entered into offering a handful of silver crowns to escape.¡± ¡°You did what?¡± Sir Arthur despaired. This was beyond misbehaving. It was simply law breaking. ¡°Yes, I was a fool with neither fear nor thought. So confident was I in my work, I never once considered that my actions would invoke a wrath as great as any storm.¡± ¡°You trapped the wrong person,¡± said Sir Arthur, groaning into his palm. ¡°Who was it? Some roaming champion? A famed mage? A dragon in disguise?¡± ¡°No. It was a small girl.¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± A nod of seriousness was joined by a palm measuring out a height just below the waist. ¡°A small human girl. I believed her to be a wealthy traveller, and sought to entrap her like I did so many others. Yet for my folly, I feared it would be the end of me.¡± ¡°... She made you fly?¡± ¡°Yes. With her sword.¡± Sir Arthur¡¯s mouth widened. All the more so as his brother visibly shuddered. ¡°She hurled me, Brother. Like a twig cast by a catapult. At first, I saw her conjuring a darkness deeper than any labyrinth. A ball of doom which swallows all light like a cold flame consuming life. It was awful. I thought I saw the final calamity of our time. The key to unlocking the next Great Sundering. But as I flew, I realised it was but the shadow cast by the greatest light. The sun shone in my face as I soared. And I glimpsed the heavens smiling upon me. I now believe that girl to be a messenger of Lady Lumielle. For what she delivered to me was the road to redemption.¡± A quiet hum of satisfaction filled the air as a robed minotaur peered upwards, his smile as sure as the newly lit warmth in his eyes. Nothing else was said. But little else was needed. Sir Arthur finally understood. His brother ¡­ had gone utterly bonkers. Somehow, a human girl had managed to induce enough terror into a minotaur that he had become pious. And while he held hopes that such a thing was good for everyone, the idea that his own younger brother had been hurled through the air simply wasn¡¯t something he could ignore. Questions needed to be asked. He needed to find this girl. To assess the measure of her. To see what danger she posed. Because although he knew little of Lady Lumielle or her ways, he found it difficult to believe that her messengers were so combative. After all, if launching naysayers into the air was a regular practice, he imagined that the Holy Church would be considerably more revered in the Spiral Isle. ¡­. He was, of course, completely correct. Bwoooomph! Because several witches in huts, a mystic who was a toad and a shaman who turned out to be a fraud later, Sir Arthur Tranlingway¡¯s greaves accidentally squashed a fallen shop bell. Within a bakery far too small for his size, his eyes looked over the groaning figure of a lady covered in a dusting of flour and shame. The greatsword in his hand remained silent and stern, its sharp edge unneeded for the conversation ahead. Not even when he¡¯d found who he was searching for. A small human girl with a sword. And also an adventurer. Perhaps there were many like her in the Kingdom of Tirea. But Sir Arthur Tranlingway knew without a hint of doubt that she was responsible for allowing his younger brother to see the light. After all, he was a Knight of the Order of Fortitude. To be resolute was his calling. And to be rewarded for it was his due. There were few coincidences on the road. And even fewer when it concerned wind techniques as curious as what the girl had briefly displayed. But that wasn¡¯t all. There were flashes of martial ability beyond what his eyes could see. To parry a knife thrown at what was effectively lunging distance was highly impressive. Yet to deny a crossbow bolt at the same close range was absurd. She was clearly highly skilled and trained. Yet as he stared at the comparatively tiny girl, it was for more than her ability with a sword which caused him to take note. Although her frame was small, the shadow she cast was greater than those of his ancestors whose statues ringed the Great Temple Colosseum. It was, frankly, quite disconcerting ¡­ and also slightly frightening. But it was as his younger brother said. Shadows could not exist without light ¡­ and while there really wasn¡¯t much light shining upon her whatsoever, he had no doubt from the care she showed for the local people over the thought of cakes contaminated with harmful magic that there existed little room for wickedness in her heart. That¡¯s why¨C S§×ar?h the ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. ¡°Oh ... okay, then.¡± Sir Arthur Tranlingway deemed his quest complete. His next would prove far more challenging, however. Using the opportunity the adventurer had granted, he¡¯d need to help liaise between his freshly redeemed brother at the Holy Church and the various heralds of the Great Pantheons. There was much conversation to be resumed and started anew. And although few ever spoke of the Kingdom of Tirea, he saw no reason why it couldn¡¯t prove an excellent host. In which case, he needed to pay a visit to the home of the kingdom¡¯s royalty as well. ¡­ Wherever that was. Chapter 360: A Princess’s Senses Apple snorted as the overgrown wheat tickled his sides. I nodded in agreement. This was no place for a princess. Or at least not while I wasn¡¯t sleeping through the ordeal. The last time I¡¯d ridden through a field of wheat, it was via the back of a royal carriage stuffed with so many cushions that opening the door had to be done with a stick. Despite Apple¡¯s valiant attempt at paving a new dirt road using just his hooves, he lacked the necessary weight to create infrastructure as he went. As a result, I saw with a heavy heart how sorely overdue my royal tour of the kingdom was. With Florella occupied in Trierport, Roland stuck in Reitzlake and Tristan based at the Loerstadt Gate, opportunities for our royal processions to improve the accessibility of our kingdom whenever we trundled through a barn were few and far between. It was only natural that my farmers were now pushed into voicing their complaints. After all, our carriages did more than leave a blackened trail of upturned dirt through their farms. It was both a badge of honour they could use to sell their products, as well as a warning to all would-be ruffians that my family were ever present. As such, I looked steadfastly ahead, tightly gripping Apple¡¯s reins while urging him onwards so that we may see to the plight of my people ¡­ especially since I was currently in mortal danger. Yes. There was a reason princesses only skipped through carefully curated meadows. Because if the wheat was high enough to magically dip into our footwear at every opportunity ¡­ then it was also high enough to hide the things which lived amongst them. Fwish. I pursed my lips, boldly ignoring the flash of a badger. Swish. I leaned away slightly, boldly ignoring the tail of a field mouse. Pwish. I huddled closer to Apple¡¯s back, boldly ignoring the ¡­ well, no, the fruit slime was acceptable. In fact, it looked like it was fleeing from the shambling corpse flower drooling at the edge of the field. Cautiously, I searched for any signs of hedgehogs. A moment later ¡­ I relaxed. Pwoosh! ¡°¨CHiee?!¡± Only to see a burst of wheat as a thing in the shape of Coppelia suddenly appeared. ¡°Look! I found a ruffian~¡± Her smile brighter than anything the late afternoon could hurl, she lifted her palms to reveal a squirrel lounging on her palm as it chewed on a sprig of leaves. I nodded at once. ¡°Indeed, you have. Squirrels are notorious for scratching at the bark of my apple trees.¡± ¡°Great! What should I do with it?¡± ¡°You may let it go. But with a stern reminder not to dig up private property. Especially mine. Besides, this isn¡¯t the ruffian we¡¯re looking for.¡± ¡°Okie~¡± sea??h th§× NovelFire.net* website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Coppelia gave a nod, then proceeded to toss the squirrel away without actually bothering to warn it. Even so, it bounded off into the distance to tell its friends of its near escape. It was a tale the hoodlums I¡¯d soon be sentencing with soap duties wouldn¡¯t enjoy ¡­ beginning with whatever pale miscreant was apparently leading them. Or as a fraudulent auntie called him¨Cthe monster in the darkness. Yes. Something foul was residing in my kingdom. A thing so malevolent that its presence could even be felt by a dishevelled baker, whose testimony just before being escorted away by a helpful minotaur was the news that something unseemly was now populating my nearby forests. A being of pure wickedness who¡¯d gathered all the unwanted hoodlums beneath a laughing banner. It was utterly shocking to me. After all, no matter how much I thought about it ¡­ this was truly the singular most useless information I¡¯d ever received! There was something foul hidden away in my forests? Why, that wasn¡¯t news! It was an understatement! Far from needing to scour beneath any branches, all I had to do to find something nefarious at play was to walk past a tavern! ¡­ Fortunately, while scheming aunties weren¡¯t useful, those they associated with were! Thus, it was now time to directly question the ruffians who needlessly harassed my peasants. For that, even the directions I was given were needless. All I had to do was follow the odour. Eventually, I pinched my nose and frowned. ¡°Do you smell that, Coppelia?¡± ¡°Yup! I don''t actually know which awful thing you¡¯re referring to, but I definitely smell it.¡± ¡°I¡¯m referring to the odour of drunken debauchery.¡± ¡°Oh, that.¡± Coppelia sniffed the air. It was so unpleasant she even forgot to wrinkle her nose. ¡°I mean, it¡¯s pretty much what we always smell when we sleep in an inn. I¡¯m surprised you still notice.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not. To safeguard my delicate sense of smell has been a constant endeavour. That¡¯s why I¡¯ve been routinely burying my face in the nice pillow throughout the day.¡± ¡°I thought you just did that because summoning a giant magical bed is fun.¡± ¡°... Yes, but it¡¯s also to reset my sense of smell, as is my royal duty. If I don¡¯t take full advantage of the Spring Queen¡¯s blessing of a permanent meadowy scent, it would set back human-fae relations.¡± ¡°But you always bad mouth the fae.¡± ¡°That¡¯s also my royal duty. As long as they continue kidnapping the wrong princesses, I¡¯ll continue to remind them they can be more useful stealing away the more deserving instead.¡± ¡°... Such as unwashed hoodlums?¡± ¡°Such as unwashed hoodlums.¡± I nodded ¡­ all the while wrinkling my nose. Just ahead, a barn was at risk of collapsing to the magpies perched atop it. Little would be lost if it did. A makeshift bar was set up beneath its shadow, with kegs poorly disguised amongst barrels which once held seeds or crops. Tankards were filled and laden upon a table sat around by gentlemen as oblivious to the overgrown fields of wheat as the fact they were responsible for farming it. Or so their attire would suggest. Overalls, pitchforks and mud. They were very much identical to the irate peasants who gathered at the Wessin Bridge. Except that unlike them, not even the most drunken farmer would permit a cooking fire to merrily burn while so close to an endless expanse of dry wheat. Nor would they be so easily caught napping where eyes could see. Instead, their hollering guffaws filled the open air, joined by the slapping of tables and the wincing when they realised that wood was hard. Yes. These specimens would do. ¡°Very well! ¡­ We shall query these brigands, sentence them to soap making and then swiftly be on our way. But remember¨Cdespite them being little more than nameless louts, we must never dispense with the usual subtlety we always observe.¡± ¡°Got it~!¡± Coppelia began stretching her arms. I nodded in satisfaction. Soon, the raucous laughter ringed in my ears as I brought Apple towards the gathered scoundrels. So diligent were they in their hooliganism, that it wasn¡¯t until Apple was practically snorting at their muddy backs before they turned around. A gnarled table surrounded by blinking eyes met me. ¡°... Yes?¡± said the brigand nearest Apple¡¯s nostrils. ¡°Can we help you?¡± ¡°Indeed, you can,¡± I replied with a warm smile. ¡°Salutations, gentlemen. I¡¯m here to free you from your life of hardship from a cruel taskmaster. From now on, you may indulge in working relentlessly for a gentle soul instead.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°I¡¯m told that some vandal by the name of the Pale Ghoul is organising all the local misfits into disturbing my farmers. This is unacceptable. I¡¯m here to remove him.¡± Silence met my declaration. I expected nothing else. ¡°... Uh, do you mean the Pale Knight?¡± asked one of the louts. ¡°Yes. Where might I find him?¡± ¡°Lass, if we knew where he was, we¡¯d be telling the guards.¡± I raised a hand to my lips, barely hiding my smile. ¡°Ohohohohoho ¡­ how cute.¡± ¡°... ¡®Scuse me?¡± ¡°To feign such ignorance. Yet while I admit your synchronised looks of utter bewilderment and lack of obvious weapons being drawn is acting to a higher standard than I¡¯m used to, know that this isn¡¯t enough to fool me. You are clearly not farmers. And this is not your barn.¡± The ruffians exchanged blinks. ¡°Miss, we¡¯re farmers.¡± ¡°Please. You¡¯re clearly not. Pretending otherwise is useless.¡± ¡°We¡¯re not pretending.¡± The closest not-a-farmer pointed at the muddiest one here. ¡°That¡¯s Mr. Heaths. He owns all the farms here from the stream to the windmill.¡± I rolled my eyes. ¡°¡®Mr. Heaths¡¯? Did you spend all night thinking that up or is it the generic name all bandits are given?¡± A few tankards dropped alongside jaws. ¡°None of us here are bandits,¡± said ¡®Mr. Heaths¡¯, his shocked eyes straining in competition to widen more than everybody else¡¯s. I gave a small sigh, then jabbed my finger towards the barn. ¡°If you¡¯re farmers, then why would your own farm be in such a state of disrepair?¡± ¡°That¡¯s my house,¡± he said, his tone hurt. ¡°This barn is your house?¡± ¡°It looks better on the inside. Sure, it¡¯s seen better days, but so have we all. So long as it¡¯s sturdy enough to keep the worst of the cold out, it¡¯s more than good enough.¡± ¡°Well, it¡¯s clear it isn''t required to store anything crop related, at least. I see you¡¯re busy revelling over whatever scheme you¡¯ve recently accomplished.¡± The muddied man pointed towards one of his colleagues. He raised his hand sheepishly. ¡°It¡¯s Roy¡¯s birthday. Of course we have to celebrate.¡± ¡°Oh? And how many consecutive days of celebration is that, exactly? The wheat is so overgrown that it¡¯s threatening to invade the nearest forest.¡± ¡°Well, yes, but that¡¯s because I haven¡¯t been able to get any decent manure this entire year. I¡¯ve decided this wheat isn¡¯t for harvesting. Instead, most of it¡¯s going back into the soil as fertiliser. I¡¯ve decided to let this field fallow.¡± ¡°... What is ¡®fallow¡¯?¡± ¡°It means to let the field rest. It¡¯s a normal part of crop rotation.¡± I gasped. ¡°W-Wha¨C! That you¡¯d go so far as to learn farming terminology ¡­ ! Very well, I admit you¡¯ve certainly prepared your answers ¡­ even so, nothing can excuse having a fire threatening what remains of the barn ¡­ !¡± ¡°Well, sure, I can see why that¡¯s a concern. But there¡¯s not many places in a farm we can have a cooking fire that¡¯s completely safe, so we do what we can instead. The area is clear, it¡¯s always supervised and there¡¯s buckets of water on hand. Most of all, the fire isn¡¯t meant to be open like this. Usually it¡¯s covered with a pot. Martha¡¯s just getting a new one now. She insists the last one was too big.¡± I looked at the man in overwhelming confusion. ¡°Who is Martha? ¡­ Your supervisor?¡± ¡°Oh yeah, you could see that.¡± The man gave a chuckle, then cupped a hand to the side of his mouth as he turned towards the barn. ¡°... Martha, we¡¯ve got guests! You need to bring the big pot back!¡± ¡°¨CWhat?¡± To my horror, I watched as a woman with curly hair and a yellow apron stuck her head out of the door as it immediately creaked ajar. Below her popped out another head. One considerably smaller. A small girl whose curious eyes looked at me with much less horror than I looked at her. I pursed my lips ¡­ then returned my attention to the muddiest lout ¡­ man ¡­ farmer ¡­ ¡°... Excuse me, but is that small child a brigand?¡± ¡°Yeah. She¡¯s 6.¡± A round of good-natured laughter filled the air. Farmers whose voices were bereft of hostility, their palms slapping against the table once more. One laughed so hard he began to choke. He went into his pockets and emptied out a rag to wipe his mouth. I was stunned. These ¡­ These were not louts! At least not when they weren¡¯t in a tavern! They were farmers! My princess senses ¡­ had failed me?! All of a sudden¨CI felt my world collapsing around me. T-This had never happened before! My princess senses were foolproof! They¡¯re what I used to sense the malevolence of my etiquette tutor as much as the hoodlums which plagued my kingdom! A finely crafted tool sharpened over years of daily use as I expertly hid between the same two wardrobes I¡¯d hidden in the past 164 times hoping she¡¯d never think I¡¯d do the same tactic 165 times! Could I have spent too much time punting fruit slimes? ¡­ No, that¡¯s ridiculous. Practising my delicate gardening techniques was the epitome of elegance! And yet ¡­ I couldn¡¯t deny that these muddied peasants were assuredly harmless peasants! This was utterly bizarre. All the more so as I could still sense the odour of ill-will. It hovered in the air as thick as ash. A familiar tingling of debauchery which pricked at my nose like the mysterious brown sludge served in common inns I¡¯d never once eaten but seemed to recognise upon sight. In fact ¡­ it was only becoming stronger! Fwiiish. A moment later¨C The source of the overwhelming discomfort revealed itself. A small group of armed ruffians calmly exited the tall wheat, arrayed in the finest rags that crowns couldn¡¯t buy. Covered in more dirt and bits of crops than any farmer spent in a field, they wielded crooked smiles far more terrifying than the clubs and rusted daggers in their hands. ¡°Well, well. What do we have ¡®ere, eh? Looks like another gathering you weren¡¯t invited to, Sourface.¡± ¡°Shaddup, Lemmy. I don¡¯t see an invite for you, either.¡± ¡°Both of you hush it. I ain¡¯t crawling through all them fields again just to get the jump on farmers. I got bitten three times by things that don¡¯t even have teeth.¡± ¡°Yeah, well, if you weren¡¯t so ugly, Mother Nature wouldn¡¯t be so upset.¡± Horror came over the faces of the farmers. One of them rose, only to be stopped as a hoodlum immediately pointed a dagger his way. ¡°None of you move,¡± said the ruffian, his dark eyes squinting over everyone present. ¡°I¡¯m sure you all know how this works by now. Let¡¯s do this like gentlemen, shall we? Crowns in one pile. Jewellery in another. Everything else in another.¡± Cheeks paled all around me. And no wonder. Against such a motley group of brigands, it was already clear that neither pleas nor tears could move them. These were assuredly the most shameless louts that mud could spawn. Thus ¡­ I let out a sigh of overwhelming relief. Oh, thank goodness! My princess senses were working just fine! ¡°Ah, but I see we¡¯ve ladies here as well,¡± said the ruffian, finally sparing a glance away from the farming men. ¡°So how about you go first and ¡­¡± The man suddenly stopped. He stared at me. At Apple. And at Coppelia as she began joyfully rotating her shoulders. Suddenly, his squinting eyes opened as a spark of recognition lit up within them. ¡°My gods,¡± he whispered. ¡°It¡¯s ¡­ It¡¯s ¡­¡± Indeed, there could be no doubt. This odour wasn¡¯t just nauseating ¡­ it was also distinctly familiar. ¡°You.¡± I pointed at the hoodlum. ¡°Were you not the same implacably low-tier hoodlums who attempted to accost me outside the forests of Rolstein?¡± The man immediately quivered. His eyes went to the sword by my side. ¡°N-No ¡­¡± I pointed at his companions. All of them snapped to attention, like servants called for inspection. ¡°Furthermore ¡­ I distinctly remember you being involved in a petty scheme involving kidnapping cats from the streets of Trierport. Why, I even punted you through a door! Were you not all arrested ¡­ ?¡± The nearest ruffian gulped, his squinting eyes magically repaired by virtue of my healing aura. They were now as wide as dinner plates. They could be wider still. ¡°Miss ¡­ ma¡¯am ¡­ listen, we¡¯ve changed ¡­ t-this isn¡¯t what it looks like, I swear ¡­ !¡± I smiled. And then I slowly drew Starlight Grace. ¡°Ohohoho ¡­ my, is that so?¡± Each of them seized up, their legs torn between fleeing and remaining stationary and harmless. Expressions of overwhelming regret flickered across each of their faces. A moment later, they did what any ruffians in their situation could do. They threw down their weapons and struck the ground with their foreheads. Chapter 361: Gainful Employment I leaned down and brushed my palm over the flattened wheat stubs. Soft. Level. Tickly. It was like the top of my father¡¯s hair following the time Clarise tripped over and launched her latest invention over him. After the unscheduled trim by the royal barber, the result was something both oddly springy and smooth¨Cand was thus fun to brush my hand over for all of 5 minutes. This time, I only needed a single moment. Feeling none of the golden roots passing above my fingers, I stood up and gave a hum of consideration. A moment later ¡­ I nodded. ¡°Acceptable.¡± Before me, a small group of hoodlums stared with sweat washing away the mud from their faces. Their lips quivered, their wide eyes alert and disbelieving, all the while their constantly shaking hands gripped around the pitchforks, sickles and scythes they held or leaned against for support. They waited for me to issue a complaint. I didn¡¯t. And so a jumbled cry of joy, exhaustion and relief met my ears. Especially as there was still more to come. I held up my finger. The exuberance ceased at once. ¡°Indeed, this is an acceptable start,¡± I said with a kind smile. ¡°Now you must take all you¡¯ve learned and apply it to every field of wheat you see. Once you¡¯ve finished, you can make a start on the other crops as well.¡± The expressions of happiness only grew more pronounced. Indeed, the hoodlums were so delighted that the tears threatening to dry suddenly reappeared. I wasn¡¯t quite that overjoyed, but I was still satisfied. All around me, a field which was previously overgrown to the point of confusing my princess senses was now on its way to becoming tidy. Where dipping stalks of wheat existed before, only a perfectly measured square of roots and stems now shone¨Cmostly owing to the continuous nourishment of tears. To the side, bundles of tomorrow¡¯s flour were meticulously stacked in a steadily growing pile assorted by grade. Not by me, of course. But rather, the farmers beaming while idly drinking. ¡°Hm, not bad,¡± said Mr ¡­ the owner of these fields. ¡°Really wasn¡¯t planning on harvesting this batch. The grain yield is poor. But if I¡¯m going to have mischief makers hiding in them, I may as well use it as feed. Not much value in it otherwise.¡± ¡°The value is in teaching ruffians the error of their ways,¡± I replied, nodding wisely while placing my hand upon my chest. ¡°Sweat washes away both mud and foulness of spirit.¡± ¡°Well, they¡¯ve certainly got spirit. I¡¯m surprised. They picked this up faster than I imagined. But I suppose you also need good hands if you want to be an outlaw.¡± The farmer sounded impressed. I could only raise a brow. Frankly, these ruffians had better legs than hands given how often they¡¯d escaped justice. ¡­ Fortunately, they now had an opportunity to make good on their arrears! Indeed, this was officially the start of their journey to compensate the kingdom for their mishaps, and although the horizon before them was as endless as my kindness, I had little doubt they could reach it. Eventually. Maybe. After all, even Coppelia was helping them. ¡°Hey! You¡¯re still doing it wrong!¡± she said, looking aggrieved as she pointed at the only hoodlum to use a scythe. ¡°There¡¯s no point cutting it one bundle at a time! I told you to swing with 2% of your strength! If you do that, you can clear this field in one sweep!¡± ¡°Uuuh ¡­ but ¡­ but I don¡¯t think I can ¡­¡± ¡°Sure you can! Just try slightly harder!¡± ¡°I¡¯m ¡­ I¡¯m trying but ¡­ my arms ache so much ¡­ I ¡­ I think it¡¯s about to fall off ¡­¡± ¡°If it does, you can just stick it back on! The only reason it aches is because you¡¯re not swinging the scythe with feeling! If you don¡¯t respect your scythe, your scythe won¡¯t respect you!¡± ¡°I ¡­ I don¡¯t think I can even feel anymore ¡­ everything is becoming numb ¡­¡± The hoodlum with the scythe made a pitiful sweep with his farming tool, managing to do just enough to cause a ladybird to land upon it before flying off again. Sensing the danger, I stepped forwards just before Coppelia could volunteer to farm. sea??h th§× n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. ¡°Very well!¡± I said brightly. ¡°Given your efforts so far, I shall permit one of you a brief rest¨C¡± The hoodlums all brightened at once. ¡°¨Cso that one of you may answer my queries regarding your sordid presence.¡± The sounds of farming instruments at work and laborious breathing immediately filled the air. Naturally, I was overjoyed. None of them wished to be overtaken on the road to redemption. Even so, I still needed answers. ¡°You.¡± I clicked my fingers towards the hoodlum with the most teeth. ¡°I hereby deem you ruffian #1. Explain. How did you escape from Trierport¡¯s cells?¡± The man looked up, then glanced towards his colleagues. None of them met his eyes. He swallowed a gulp and raised himself. ¡°We, uh, we didn¡¯t escape. We were set free.¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± I was utterly stunned. ¡°Are you saying you have accomplices? Amongst who? Guards? Judges? Who would lack the standards to accept whatever bribes you could offer?¡± ¡°Well, no, we didn¡¯t bribe anyone. We were only in the cells for a few nights.¡± ¡°W-Wha¨C?! How is that possible? You committed arduous crimes in broad daylight!¡± ¡°Ma¡¯am, we ¡­ we only kidnapped some cats.¡± The man ended his sentence there, as though it was all which needed to be said. I was aghast. ¡°Only?! ¡­ That debacle was a humiliation for me! The acknowledgement I received from accidentally rescuing those cats is a blotch against my reputation I¡¯ll have to live with until I can find the drawer which holds all the official records!¡± ¡°I¡¯m ¡­ I¡¯m very sorry? But, uh, for what it¡¯s worth, you don¡¯t look like someone who¡¯d rescue cats.¡± The sound of labour immediately halted. Jaws dropped as the man¡¯s colleagues stared at his back. I shared in their shock. After all ¡­ that was one of the most appropriate things I¡¯d ever heard! ¡°My, so you do know courtesy!¡± I said, offering a bright smile. ¡°That is the exact sort of politeness which can go a long way ¡­ just not enough for me to ignore you disregarding the mercy of a justice system in need of clear overhaul. Or my famed kindness. To repeat your mistakes is a poor decision.¡± ¡°We didn¡¯t mean to!¡± replied ruffian #1 at once, his eyes wide. ¡°We tried to change! We did!¡± ¡°Oh? And what happened?¡± ¡°Nothing happened! That¡¯s ¡­ well, that¡¯s the problem! That¡¯s always the problem! It¡¯s not like we want to be outlaws living off the land¨Cbut nobody will take us in. There¡¯s nothing we can do. Not when we¡¯ve got dumb names like Sourface, Patches and Lemmy.¡± ¡°Very well. Then change your names.¡± The ruffian paused. ¡°... We like our names,¡± he admitted, his meek words drawing a few nods in response. I briefly sighed into my palms. ¡°Fine. So you¡¯re cursed with inappropriate names. Is this why you choose to rob farmers of their possessions? One of them is even celebrating their birthday. That is awful.¡± ¡°We had no choice,¡± claimed the ruffian, pointing instantly towards the nearby forest. ¡°It¡¯s ¡­ It¡¯s the boss.¡± ¡°The boss.¡± ¡°The boss. The new one, I mean. Not the old one. He, uh ¡­ he went off to farm, pretty much just like this. But the new boss¨Che ain¡¯t good. And I say that from us. That man¡¯s not just the bad type. I¡¯m pretty sure he¡¯s ¡­ well, evil.¡± ¡°Oh? Do you mean he robbed a tax inspector?¡± ¡°Um ¡­ I don¡¯t rightly know. But he¡¯s evil. As in actually evil.¡± I leaned in slightly. ¡°... How evil?¡± ¡°More evil than you can know. You see it around him. Like a fog.¡± The ruffian dented his brows in seriousness. I offered a nod. And then¨C ¡°Ohhohohohooohohohoho!!¡± I raised a hand to my lips, rewarding the bewildered hoodlums with the gift of my healing laughter. My, but wasn¡¯t this wonderful? A bandit with a slightly unpleasant aura. I see this one was truly pushing the boundaries. It was little wonder none of my knights had found this unique scoundrel yet. He was so utterly mundane that it acted as its own invisibility spell. ¡°... Very well, then.¡± I offered a smile. ¡°Quite frightening, indeed. Would he also be habitually rude, a frequent cackler and in possession of a scar?¡± The ruffian didn¡¯t immediately answer. His eyes glanced towards the forest instead. ¡°I¡¯m ¡­ I¡¯m not too sure on the scar. He always wears a helmet. I don¡¯t hear much laughing or rudeness, either. But that¡¯s the thing about him. He only needs a few words to drain the life out of you. He calls himself the Pale Knight, but I reckon it¡¯s everyone else that¡¯s pale around him.¡± ¡°Well, I¡¯d expect nothing less. A petty hooligan pretending to be a bandit knight is shameless beyond measure.¡± The ruffian shook his head maniacally. ¡°He¡¯s more than that,¡± he said, his voice lowering. ¡°Whatever you think he is, it¡¯s worse. He¡¯s gathered everyone. Even friends of the old boss. And they follow because he¡¯s strong. So strong we don¡¯t know why he needs us collecting tithes for him.¡± ¡°I see ¡­ and I suppose you¡¯re pretending to follow along, is it?¡± ¡°Yes. Because we¡¯ve seen what happens to those who say no. Those who try to run. It¡¯s like a game to him. He finds them quick as a hound, stares them right in the eye ¡­ and then they¡¯re not right anymore.¡± The man scrunched up his fists. Those behind him nodded. Their earnestness was clear. Apparently, this pale vagabond was so odorous that even brigands couldn¡¯t recover. A truly horrifying prospect. But all the more reason to sweep the blemish away. ¡°Very well. I thank you for the warning. And so where might I find this hoodlum?¡± The ruffian blinked for several moments, astonished that I¡¯d dare risk my nose. It wasn¡¯t until I began tapping my foot that he pointed again towards the forest. ¡°... Well, uh, I don¡¯t know where he is. But he has the higher ups collecting the tithes. They¡¯ll know. There¡¯s a stream nearby. If you follow it, that¡¯ll take you straight to one of the bigger camps. But I don¡¯t think you should go. That man ¡­ he¡¯s different. He¡¯s not like us good-for-nothings.¡± ¡°True. You¡¯re worth far more.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°You¡¯ve harvested wheat,¡± I said simply. ¡°Your worth is already greater than any of your peers. For while the gold you now gather is different from the gold you¡¯ve illegally taxed through your numerous misdeeds, the joy it brings is no different. It is the gift from which every smile and perfectly springy shortcake blooms.¡± I gestured at the fruits of their labour. In unison, all the louts took in the piled up bundles of wheat and the flattened field as though only seeing past their tears for the first time. ¡°Yeah ¡­ you might be right,¡± came a reply caught in a sniffle. ¡°I ¡­ I think I understand the boss now. I dunno why, but this does feel a lot better than what we usually do.¡± ¡°Wonderful!¡± I clapped my hands in joy. ¡°In that case, you may continue your rehabilitation under the supervision of these helpful farmers! ¡­ At least until I¡¯ve time to discuss matters of soap.¡± ¡°S-Soap?¡± ¡°Yes. Soap. This will be a very important conversation. But since this new forest gnat clearly requires it more, I¡¯ll allow a pause until my return. In the meanwhile, please do your best to harvest until you reach the horizon and not to go mysteriously missing. Otherwise, my smile will take on a different shape.¡± The edges of my lips curled very slightly, threatening to shift from a smile to a frown. A small gulp answered. ¡°I ¡­ we understand ¡­ please have a safe trip.¡± ¡°Why, thank you.¡± Satisfied all was done, I turned to find my noble steed. I found him making friends with the farmers. It filled me with pride to see that they were clearly more enthusiastic about Apple than they were about their temporary workers. At the same time, it was somewhat dire that he wasn¡¯t recognised as a royal steed. ¡°¨CWait.¡± Suddenly, Ruffian #1 called out to me. I duly glanced behind. ¡°There¡¯s ¡­ well, there¡¯s something else you should probably know,¡± he said, wearing a clear expression of hesitation. ¡°If you¡¯re going into the forest, that is. To talk to the new boss. About soap.¡± ¡°Yes ¡­ ?¡± ¡°It¡¯s just that ¡­ there¡¯s something in there. Something other than freakish knights and worthless louts like us. There¡¯s a darkness. A shadow. A thing hiding in the forest. Haunting it.¡± Ughhhhhhhhh. I let out a small groan. Of course there was a thing. Why wouldn¡¯t there be? ¡°Fine. What is this unnecessary nuisance, then? ¡­ Some drooling demon?¡± ¡°We don¡¯t know. None of us do. But it¡¯s a ferocious, growling beast which takes people away ¡­ a monster in the shape of a girl.¡± He paused. ¡°... Sort of your size,¡± he added meekly. A wall of fervent nods was directed towards me. I raised an eyebrow. Then, I simply continued towards Apple. ¡°Is that so? ¡­ Excellent. Perhaps I can ask her for directions.¡± Chapter 362: Black & White A gentle breeze swept a leaf against the front of my hair. I blew it away. High above me, snatches of golden light weaved amidst the shifting canopy as the sun began to drop. The result was a forest lit in the colours of springtime as summer dared to near. Where the sunlight poked between the leaves, a myriad of vibrant hues shone back. But none more so than from a glimmering stream. As it weaved amongst the handsome oaks, its surface sparkled like a watery kaleidoscope. Here and there, tiny rainbows were formed where the stream tumbled down a handful of stone slabs. Joined by the blushing tulips and the swaying fronds which grew along its edges, it was the perfect guide as it led us zigzagging through a forest so tranquil that any suggestion that bandits could be plaguing it was almost unthinkable. Which is why¨C ¡°Hup.¡± I skipped over a hemp rope tied between two trees. Then, I waited for Coppelia to join me before I scooped up a twig and tossed it towards the rope. Thunk. A rock promptly dropped from the branches, just large enough to murder anyone not wearing a helmet. Satisfied at the result, I continued onwards, admiring the blushing tulips, the singing blackbirds, the reflection of my smile in the stream ... and also another hemp rope tied between two trees. ¡°Hup.¡± I duly skipped over it ¡­ before waiting again for Coppelia to join me. Thump. A slightly larger rock dropped after I tossed a twig. Content once more, I turned around and continued onwards, enjoying the sight of a forest which wasn¡¯t cursed with thorned roots and overly large badgers attempting to murder me. Instead, all I found was another hemp rope tied between two trees. ¡°Hup.¡± And then another. And another. Thwump. Thwump. Thwump. One after another, rocks of gradually increasing size but exactly the same mechanism dropped from branches which were gradually bending so wildly that I only needed to look up to see where the hemp ropes were lying in wait. Thus, many rocks later¨C I threw up my arms in utter exasperation. ¡°If I¡¯m not dying the 1st time, why do you think I¡¯m dying the 18th time ¡­ ?!¡± I was aghast. To use the same trap repeatedly wasn¡¯t simply ridiculous¨Cit was hopelessly uncouth! Indeed, while it worked as an insult, it utterly failed as a trap! Was this truly the best that the brigands who plagued this forest could do?! ¡­ At this rate, I¡¯d be on my way before the hour was done ¡­ which was good, yes, but not at the expense of my sanity! Coppelia giggled, all the while chewing on a bundle of red tulips plucked from the stream. ¡°Optimism is good~¡± she said generously. ¡°We need more of this in the world.¡± ¡°There¡¯s optimism and then there¡¯s obstinance. This somehow goes even further. Why is it that only the size of the rocks are changing? Why not try something different? All this is doing is leaving dents in my forests.¡± ¡°Maybe this guy just really hates grass.¡± ¡°Well, I suppose this would explain the discount bulk purchase on gradually widening rocks.¡± ¡°I mean, at some point, the rocks are going to get big enough that they¡¯ll start hitting your entire kingdom.¡± ¡°Unlikely. It¡¯d mean somebody would have to trip over these absurdly obvious ropes. Most aren¡¯t even ankle height.¡± I shook my head in dismay. ¡°... No, this is awful. If any bandit wishes to rise up in the world of hooliganism, they¡¯ll first need to learn how to properly dispose of their enemies. Even a drunkard could harmlessly stumble over traps so shoddy.¡± Coppelia tilted her head in thought. ¡°Really? Because I thought you were pretty impressive.¡± ¡°... Hm?¡± ¡°I mean, even if it¡¯s the same trap, it doesn¡¯t really matter. Most humans specialise in finding amazing ways to get themselves killed. But you¡¯re actually pretty good at not dying to dumb traps.¡± I paused. ¡°O-Ohohohoho ¡­ why, of course!¡± I placed a hand atop my chest and smiled. ¡°As a princess, even traps as sophisticated as these cannot harm me! ¡­ Why, I must be elegance itself! To ever allow my feet to be taken unawares is no different to a merchant falling prey to a con artist or a knight being caught with hair that¡¯s not even fashionably dishevelled¨Cit would be a humiliation.¡± ¡°Ooooh, I see~! is this part of princess training?¡± ¡°No, it is not part of princess training. It is something I learned on the battlefield.¡± ¡°... Meaning that ¡­ ?¡± ¡°Meaning that I learned it during the chaos of our soir¨¦es.¡± ¡°Oh, that makes more sense.¡± I nodded wisely, then continued onwards while searching for additional traps for Coppelia¡¯s benefit. ¡°Indeed, compared to the swiping legs of nobility during the turmoil of a court waltz, this is child¡¯s play. If I can keep my feet when everybody is doing their best to accidentally step on my heels, then even meticulously placed traps such as these have no hope of defeating me.¡± ¡°Huh. The dancing you guys do sounds less torturous than I thought.¡± ¡°It is and it isn¡¯t,¡± I helpfully explained. ¡°Traditional court dancing comes rife with intrigue. That is the height of dullness ¡­ which is why we stipulate that all dresses must be no shorter than a carpet in length. The chaos that always ensues sets back the next organised betrayal by years. Cheese, biscuits and insults everywhere.¡± ¡°Oooh~ that almost sounds fun!¡± I clapped my hands together and smiled. ¡°Not all formality is mundane ¡­ just most! Speaking of dancing, how much do you know?¡± ¡°Lots. Many. So much.¡± ¡°O-Oh? Truly?¡± Coppelia twirled on the spot. It was very pretty. It also wasn¡¯t official. ¡°I know the Coppelia,¡± she declared confidently. I nodded at once. ¡°The Coppelia is truly a form which defies expectation. Which has its place. Just not when you¡¯re wearing a needlessly cumbersome dress. But that¡¯s fine ¡­ I will teach you!¡± ¡°Eh? You want to teach me how to dance?¡± ¡°Naturally, I do! It¡¯s part of your handmaiden training. I¡¯m certain you¡¯ll enjoy it.¡± My loyal handmaiden, who still had a considerable list of exercises to go through including tea making, tea pouring and tea spilling upon designated guests, leaned ever so slightly away. ¡°Hmmmm ¡­ I dunno, it looks kinda stuffy. I¡¯m too cute for that.¡± ¡°As am I. But neither you nor I ever had a tutor like me. Dancing is the oldest art for a reason. It¡¯s an expression of the soul. Moreover, learning to dance in the courtly style will allow you to take my place when a suitor comes to bother me.¡± ¡°Pass.¡± ¡°C-Coppelia! There are only positives! ¡­ Mostly for me, but it¡¯ll also help your eyes become keener!¡± ¡°Eeehh ¡­ my eyes are pretty good, though?¡± ¡°They are. But they can be better. Trust me, once you¡¯ve grown accustomed to the sight of rival dance partners attempting to dislocate your fibula, you shall see the world in a different light. Using just their footsteps, you can discern their every wicked intention.¡± Coppelia hummed for a moment. Then, she raised her arm. ¡°Question!¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°Can it discern wicked intentions even if they¡¯re not human?¡± ¡°Well, yes¨Cas long as they have legs, then just the way they move their toes will betray their innermost thoughts.¡± ¡°Great! This should be easy, then.¡± ¡°... Is it because the thing you¡¯re referring to has four legs and not two?¡± ¡°Mmh~¡± We came to a sudden stop. Before us, the sight of the first large-scale blemish had finally appeared. The stream continued onwards, weaving through a meadow spoiled by the greatest source of public littering I¡¯d seen since the last time a handful of elves had gathered together. It was a mess of patchwork tents and everything they contained. Some had been staked in the grass, while others had been allowed to blow over. Disused clothing, bowls and bedrolls were scattered in all directions, while crates and barrels were piled up with little concern for either organisation or the fact that many of the lids were left ajar, offering the wood mice to stuff their tummies before summer¡¯s arrival. There were also racks of weapons. Most of which were now on the ground. Along with the blood stains. And a single cow. Moooo. Yes. There in the centre of what was very much a hastily deserted bandit camp ¡­ was a cow with a bell. Clink, clink. Clink, clink. It stood beside a cauldron long gone cold. A large, common farm animal found up and down my kingdom. It boasted a fetching black and white pattern, large flappy ears, a swishing tail and a bundle of grass in its mouth. It raised its head and gazed directly at us ¡­ all the while chewing away and offering little notice to the abandonment around it. Or indeed, the clear evidence of violence. ¡°... Alrighty!¡± Coppelia turned to me with a clear look of expectation. ¡°What¡¯s the cow¡¯s intention?¡± I stared at said cow. ¡°Those are hooves. Not toes. It doesn¡¯t count.¡± A giggle came in response. That was good. The more amused she was, the less people would believe her when she explained what we¡¯d seen. ¡°Very well,¡± I said with a nod. ¡°This is a somewhat more original trap ¡­ come, we¡¯ll go around the camp.¡± ¡°Eh?! You want to ignore the cow?¡± ¡°No, I want to ignore the cow surrounded by blood. I¡¯ve no idea what this is, but I do know that continuing not to know will make my life happier. That is the most important thing in the world.¡± ¡°We can¡¯t just leave the cow.¡± ¡°Why not?¡± ¡°What if it¡¯s evil? We can¡¯t miss what hilarious things it does.¡± I quietly groaned. ¡°Coppelia, we came here to interrogate brigands, not suspicious farm animals surrounded by blood. Yes, I realise their language skills are likely on-par, but I doubt a cow knows more than whatever misfits have abandoned it.¡± ¡°Abandoned it ¡­ or been eaten by it.¡± Suddenly, Coppelia leaned forwards slightly, studying the cow for any signs of demonic energy. After a moment¨C ¡°Mmh~ it¡¯s not a horse,¡± she declared confidently. ¡°Want to poke it?¡± ¡°Absolutely not,¡± I replied, appalled at the very suggestion. ¡°Unless it¡¯s part of a staged public relations event, I¡¯ve no obligation to approach a suspicious cow. What if it sneezes at me?¡± ¡°That¡¯ll just mean it likes you.¡± ¡°... True. But regardless, I see no reason to poke it. We have things to do.¡± ¡°Sure, but if we leave the cow surrounded by blood alone, historical records indicate there¡¯s a 99.8% probability it¡¯s going to end up conquering the world and covering it in shadow. Which I¡¯m fine with. But it¡¯ll also mean you having to leave your tower to fix everything again.¡± My mouth widened. Just which history books did Coppelia read, exactly ¡­ ?! Because I could absolutely see a scenario where this came true! ¡°Very well.¡± I briefly closed my eyes, aggrieved at every option. ¡°One of us needs to approach and see what the cow does, then. If it¡¯s normal, we can at least shoo it towards a farm so productivity isn¡¯t going to waste.¡± A moment of silence passed. And then¨C ¡°Rock, paper, scissors, go!!¡± I looked down. ¡°... Uuuugghh, fine,¡± I said, bravely strolling forward to meet my doom. ¡°If I die, let it be known that it was by a carrot. I¡¯ll at least remove it from every menu as my final act.¡± Ignoring the round of applause behind me, I approached the blinking cow. Still, it did nothing. In fact ¡­ it simply leaned down to chew on a fresh tuft of grass. Something which would have been insulting were it not for the fact this was, in fact, a highly coordinated act. Because before I could even begin interrogating the farm animal, a different and mercifully familiar issue presented itself. A spear thrown unerringly from the treeline, dribbling with a noxious liquid as it went. I barely saw it ¡­ for beyond the weapon was something even more horrifying. The sight of a pale creature cloaked in malevolence. It wore blackened leather and a bloody scarf, its eyes alight with a flame that was both cold and burning with cruelty, its skin stretched taut over its bones. A human corpse risen from the soil. Pwiishh. The next moment, the spear broke as a black scythe ringed with shadow struck it cleanly in half. Its owner didn¡¯t mind. S~ea??h the N?vel(F)ire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. After all, he still had a better one. A figure in the shape of what was once a man raised another weapon. A boar spear more suited for hunting a frost mammoth than for use in battle. As he approached, its weight seemed to drag him down, his knees creaking and back stooped as he shambled closer. An undead horror whose sickly skin and pale hair reflected the sunlight. But even that compared little to the flames burning in its hollow sockets. Then ¡­ he came to a pause and pointed towards the cow. ¡°Her name¡¯s Daisy,¡± he said proudly. ¡°Daisy the Bloodletter.¡± The grazing farm animal looked up at me. I looked back. And then I came to one conclusion. ¡­ I should have brought Apple. Chapter 363: Proper Form Wights. Where darkness went, these foul creatures walked before it, carrying the blighted torches which smothered kingdoms and armies whole. Although they still possessed flesh and bones, they were but caricatures of who they were once, raised through necromancy to see out the wicked thoughts which had failed to fade along with the beating of their hearts. Possessing a fragment of their soul, they were the natural leaders of the undead. Intelligent, merciless and cruel, they boasted whatever strengths they had in life, now bolstered by the dark magic which had called them from the grave. Given the bloodstained scarf, the leather armour blackened by sheer virtue of his foul odour and the spear both barbed and glaived in his hand, there was little doubt as to where this wight¡¯s talents lay. All I cared about was the cow. ¡°Excuse me?¡± I said, appalled that it could have a title reserved exclusively for chihuahuas. ¡°What did you call this cow?¡± The wight imitated a proud smile. Shifting the pale, ghostly hair from his flaming eyes, he nodded towards the farm animal with the same joy as farmers overlooking hoodlums harvesting wheat. ¡°Daisy the Bloodletter,¡± he said, cheerfully unapologetic over his murder attempt. ¡°Quite the sight, eh? Very fetching pattern, nice and distinct. Also notice the ears¨Ccalm as a grave. Not mine, of course. But usually. It means the flies haven¡¯t gotten to her yet. This cow is the very picture of health.¡± The cow nibbled on a tuft of grass. The grass stained in blood. ¡°Very well,¡± I said, only shocked that it hadn¡¯t begun spawning infernal imps yet. ¡°And just what manner of demonic monster is this, then?¡± ¡°It¡¯s a cow.¡± ¡°Yes, and that¡¯s bad enough. But what even more frightful entity lurks beneath the skin?¡± ¡°Nothing. Daisy is an ordinary cow. Specifically a Lowlands Tress. They¡¯re a popular breed amongst dairy farmers owing to their high milk yields.¡± ¡°I see. I shall never remember that. And so why is this supposedly ordinary cow now surrounded by bloodied grass which you will shortly need to scrub?¡± ¡°To help acclimatise her to her role, of course.¡± ¡°Her role? What role? You just said this is a dairy cow. They do not need blood.¡± ¡°Most don¡¯t, no. But Daisy is unique. She¡¯s also my bloodhound.¡± ¡°... Excuse me?¡± The wight did its best to stand up straight. It failed as its rotten muscles laboured and bones creaked, the limits of necromancy as clear as the sunlight repulsed by his pale skin barely clinging to flesh. Even so, the look of contentment still remained. ¡°I am Alfred Dronn, famed huntsman of the woods. But as good as my nose is, my bloodhounds are always better. That¡¯s Daisy right here.¡± The cow lightly swished its tail. I could only nod in agreement ¡­ all the while raising a hand to my lips. ¡°Ohhohohohohohoho!!¡± Suddenly, all my bewilderment lessened as mirth took its place. I was utterly relieved. Here I thought I¡¯d be required to do battle against a cow. Instead, it was clear that the wight before me had been raised by the wrong necromancer. Especially as he had the nerve to look mildly aggrieved. ¡°Miss, I know it¡¯s not my place to tell others how to act, but this really isn¡¯t the proper response.¡± I relaxed my shoulders and offered an appreciative smile. ¡°Ohoho ¡­ is that so? And yet it¡¯s very much my place to do just that. So allow me to be brief¨Cit isn¡¯t a bloodhound you need, it¡¯s a complaint form.¡± ¡°... A what now?¡± ¡°I see the flames in your eye sockets are simply there to hide the lack of thought behind it. I advise you to seek formal compensation against whichever failed apprentice raised you from the grave. Clearly, they forgot to include your faculties if you believe a cow can serve as a bloodhound. What will it do? Shake its bell at me?¡± The wight wrinkled his nose. ¡°That bell is the call of doom. Once Daisy has tasted her first kill, the sound of that bell will invite terror like echoing footsteps in the dark.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a cow.¡± ¡°Yes, a cow formed of 1200 pounds of barely contained bloodlust.¡± The wight gestured at the grazing farm animal, having obviously had this conversation before. ¡°Do you think cows are merely pets to be admired? No, they are vicious. Are you aware of how many people die to cows each year? It is countless, for they leave neither prisoners nor distinguishable remains. If a cow charges you, then you won¡¯t even have time to issue a last wish. This is a being of destruction.¡± The being of destruction flared its nostrils. It turned away from a smattering of blood, choosing to nibble on a dandelion instead. ¡°Ohohohohoo!!¡± I placed both hands against my tummy as something began to hurt. ¡°Indeed, 1200 pounds of medium-rare steak au poivre! Why, I can already see the dangers of the marbled fat rushing towards me! I¡¯ll be comatosed for days!¡± The wight narrowed his eyes. ¡°If you must know, I did attempt to find an actual bloodhound. Sadly, the sheepdogs owned by farmers are already trained. So I took a cow. Which is fine. Daisy is hardly an unworthy substitute.¡± ¡°... Ohohhohohohoho!!¡± ¡°Miss, this is not a laughing matter.¡± ¡°Ohoho ¡­ ahem, very wrong. This is the most amusing thing I¡¯ve ever heard from a random assailant in my path. I must say, this makes for a wondrous change of pace. Perhaps I¡¯ll even remember you as a blotch in the back of my mind. I offer my gratitude. I thought the mundane traps around me meant this was fated to be a dull experience, but you¡¯ve actually improved it. Just.¡± ¡°Then you failed to appreciate art. My traps are not mundane. They are spectacular.¡± I stopped laughing at once. ¡°Excuse me? These are your traps? Not the bandits?¡± ¡°Of course they¡¯re my traps. Lawless brigands have neither discipline nor patience. They can¡¯t do anything as sophisticated as what I¡¯ve made.¡± ¡°Sophisticated? ¡­ It¡¯s the same trap over and over again, just with slightly bigger rocks each time!¡± ¡°Exactly.¡± The wight attempted to snap a finger. He failed. ¡°Consistency girl. That¡¯s the trick. Do you know what separates me from other huntsmen? The reason why I was selected to be brought back?¡± ¡°Presumably, it¡¯s because of a stark lack of choice.¡± ¡°No. It¡¯s because I¡¯m the best. I¡¯m patient. You might laugh, but so have many others. And now their corpses don¡¯t even remain to be raised. The 5th Law of Huntsmanship is clear, after all. If you drop enough rocks, someone will eventually be hit with a rock.¡± I threw up my arms in outrage. ¡°That isn¡¯t a law! It¡¯s littering!¡± ¡°If that¡¯s littering, then so is throwing a spear or shooting an arrow. Just because the projectile is a rock doesn¡¯t make it any more or less legitimate.¡± ¡°You¡¯re not throwing these rocks! You¡¯re dumping them like pianos in Ouzelia ¡­ except they at least have form! Are your poorly made traps meant to distract from the fact you chose a cow as a pet or simply because you lack the dexterity to do better as a zombie?!¡± A gasp met my words. ¡°... I¡¯m a wight,¡± he said, sounding genuinely hurt. ¡°Not a zombie.¡± I rolled my eyes. ¡°If that¡¯s true, then you need to fix your posture. It¡¯s worse than the most shambling of undead. Just because your skin looks terrible doesn¡¯t mean your back has to be as well.¡± ¡°My back is due to the way I was buried. My coffin had terrible ergonomics. Even so, it doesn¡¯t prevent me from performing my given tasks. My aim is still true.¡± ¡°Yes, so long as a cow is there to help you. A shame that its contribution will go to waste. I¡¯ve no idea how long you were lying in wait, but I¡¯m afraid everybody only gets one assassination chance against me. That keeps it fair.¡± The wight raised a ¡­ well, he didn¡¯t have a brow. But I could see the ridge bone moving. ¡°I wasn¡¯t trying to assassinate you.¡± ¡°No? What were you doing, then? Greeting me with a spear?¡± ¡°Well, I was trying to impale you. But not necessarily assassinate. Besides, I only did it because I mistook you for someone else.¡± ¡°... Hm? What was that?¡± ¡°I was trying to assassinate someone. Just not you. With that said, you¡¯ve my apologies. I¡¯m tracking another girl. Don¡¯t suppose you¡¯ve seen one around?¡± I gasped in horror. ¡°H-How dare you! ¡­ There is nobody worthy of being assassinated while I¡¯m here!¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure that¡¯s the case. But I only agreed to be raised on the condition I¡¯d be released after thoroughly murdering my prey. I can see based on your liveliness that prey isn¡¯t you.¡± ¡°That is irrelevant! Why, I¡¯m so beautiful that every envious noblewoman in the kingdom has a price on my head! ¡­ Why wouldn¡¯t you assassinate me?¡± The wight shrugged. ¡°Maybe in the past, I would¡¯ve,¡± he admitted. ¡°But I care less about earning new crowns now than settling past debts. Grudges only deepen in the grave, after all. Me and Daisy have a very long list of people, their dependents and their every tangible relation to go through. That¡¯s why I¡¯m asking if you¡¯ve seen any other young ladies sharing your build in these woods. I¡¯ve some loose trinkets I can barter for information.¡± I almost fainted. S~ea??h the N??elFir§×.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. First attempting to murder me. Then apologising badly. Then attempting to bribe me with whatever bits of grave fungus were in his pockets. Even from an undead commoner, this was a new low. ¡°... Why, I have never been so insulted! I¡¯m worth far more than any random maiden skipping in the woods! It¡¯s beyond disgraceful that you¡¯d ask for my own assistance in how to ignore me!¡± ¡°Well, if you insist on joining my list, I¡¯m happy to oblige. But your name would still be at the bottom. If you¡¯d like to help me make a start, I¡¯m open to a fair exchange.¡± ¡°I am not! I have nothing to offer, least of all to a wight who wishes to seek vengeance with a cow!¡± ¡°Like I said, Daisy is my bloodhound.¡± I leaned forwards, jabbing my finger towards the least of his crimes. But one he still needed to repair. ¡°No, Daisy is a productive member of society. Something you are not. And if farmers see their animals slacking, then so will they. So I will offer you a choice. Return this cow to whichever farm you stole it from and then return yourself to the grave.¡± The wight waited. ¡°... Yes? And what is the other choice?¡± ¡°There is no other choice.¡± A moment of silence passed as the wight considered my generous offer. His thumb clicked as it gripped around his spear, the flames in his hollow eyes dipping towards the sword by my side. ¡°Hm ¡­ it¡¯s good to know my instincts are still alive,¡± he mused. ¡°It was worth trying to kill you, even if I already suspected you weren¡¯t who I was looking for.¡± ¡°That¡¯s the most polite thing you¡¯ve said. You should have stuck with that. Given that I¡¯m so virtuous that angels recoil, it¡¯s only natural you¡¯d feel the urge to murder me.¡± ¡°Well, it¡¯s not like I need to. I suppose I could just capture you instead. Given your complexion, I do believe there¡¯s someone who¡¯d mightily enjoy what you¡¯ve to offer.¡± ¡°Please. You need to grow scales and wings before you can consider¨C¡± ¡°[Paralysing Strike].¡± Without waiting for me to voice my relief, the wight turned his spear and struck. A horrifying spectacle. To interrupt me was the height of uncouthness. But that wasn¡¯t the reason I paled at the sight. Instead ¡­ it was due to the way he lifted himself like a rabbit with a broken leg as he lunged. Shambling, tired, awkward. Like a servant having just climbed up my tower to bring up a single grape only to be told it was the wrong dimensions. As his barbed weapon thrust towards me, it was clear that all the effort had gone into dousing it with whatever noxious liquid was coating the tip. Frankly, a murder attempt boasting such fatigued motion was unworthy of even my disdain. Were I equally as crass, I¡¯d dismiss him with a simple poke of my sword, allowing the storied enchantments to lay all memories of this needless obstacle to rest. ¡­ But I was Juliette Contzen, 3rd Princess to the Kingdom of Tirea! I could hardly abide poor manners no matter who was serving or attacking me. And while it was too late to save his words, I could perhaps salvage his posture. Thus, as the wight lunged with all the elegance of a dancer already tripping over his feet, I offered a professional nod instead as Starlight Grace left my side. ¡°Your form is dire, but it¡¯s also nothing I haven¡¯t fixed before ¡­ and so I¡¯ll offer a kindness for you to take back to your grave.¡± I sent my sword forwards. And then ¡­ turning it just slightly, I used the flat of the blade to begin nudging his posture into place. The wight¡¯s flaming eyes widened at once. And for the briefest moment, a look of horror mixed with confusion flashed across his taut face. After all¨C He¡¯d already realised what such a tiny change in his post-life could accomplish. Ohohohohohohoho! Here it was! My ultimate ability ¡­ again! [Princess Posture]! Trained by the unremitting standards of my tutors with an overly long ruler, I could spot and fix any error from my own staff ¡­ or indeed, those belonging to others as well! Thus, I went to work, diligently repairing the wight¡¯s form. Using my sword as an alignment ruler, I swiftly pushed back his forehead, batted his knees, nudged his elbows, tapped at his shoulders and then whacked his sternum to the sound of his back practically recoiling into place. ¡°Ohohohohohohohohoho!¡± Indeed, I couldn¡¯t cure him of his undeath ¡­ but I could make him remember a time that he wasn¡¯t prey to whatever dark necromancy clutched onto him! With careful, minute nudges of my sword, I worked on his form until he no longer lingered like a leaping ghoul. Instead, his motion became a perfect jump, his arms practically wings as he soared past me like a mockingbird first taking flight ¡­ And then he landed, eyes wide as his feet found the grass past me. But he neither stumbled nor fell. Instead, he continued moving. First as a walk, then as a run, his limbs driving him forwards as he burst into a sprint and then a hop. An air of freedom surrounded him as his spear was flung to the wayside, and all I saw of his previously slouching form were shoulders as primed as a receptionist¡¯s behind a desk. ¡°Incredible ¡­¡± came his voice, growing steadily distant as he ran into the treeline. ¡°In ¡­ Incredible! Even my knees feel good ¡­ good ¡­ they feel good! This freedom! Oh, oh what free¨C¡± Crunch. A large rock dropped down, triggered by the snapping of a hemp rope. My hands went to my mouth as a plume of unnatural dust rose where the wight had collapsed. Crushed beneath his own trap, his legs momentarily wriggled before they fell still. Flesh and skin soon began sizzling like a marriage application tossed into a fire. As the dark magic binding him stuttered and failed, only bones soon remained, half of it shattered beneath the truth of the wight¡¯s claim. Nobody ever expected the 19th attempt. ¡°Ahahahahh ¡­ ahahahaha ¡­ ahahahahahahah~!¡± I groaned at once. Replacing the sight of poor posture was instead something worse. A certain clockwork doll hanging onto a branch for dear life. She hugged it as she laughed into a sprig of leaves, the tickling against her face only causing her amusement to become steadily louder. ¡°C-Coppelia! This is not a time for laughter! I ¡­ I meant to do that!¡± ¡°Ahhahahahahahaha~¡± I rolled my eyes and waited. To my surprise, I didn¡¯t need to wait long. She suddenly stopped. Just as she threatened to slip off from the branch entirely, she instead hugged it tighter, narrowing her eyes as she looked past me. The act filled me with grief. And so I turned around to witness what had become of the suspicious cow. To my horror, I saw that rather than morphing into a monster, it¡¯d simply spawned one instead. There, covered in mud beside the cow, was the figure of ¡­ something. I didn¡¯t know what it was. Only that it faintly resembled the shape of a girl. And that it was utterly covered in mud, save for a few fingertips which had instead wiped the mud onto the hilt of a strangely shiny sword she was carrying. I was mortified. ¡°Hello,¡± came a girl¡¯s voice, pausing before extending a palm towards me. One caked in so much sludge that a farmer sleeping in a field couldn¡¯t accrue so much dirt. ¡°Um, please don¡¯t be scared. Or stab me. I¡¯m¨C¡± And so I did what any princess would do. ¡°¨CHiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!¡± I bravely went to join Coppelia up the tree. Chapter 364: A Tale In The Making The girl wiped her face with a palmful of water from the stream. It was like dusting off a chimney. Very little happened. Regardless, I did my best to squint as she rose ¡­ from a healthy distance of several steps away. And what I saw was a girl no older than myself. Beneath the hint of messy bangs was a smattering of freckles and obvious relief. Combined with a linen dress which remained the colour of mud even after a few splashes had revealed the collar, she was the very picture of a commoner girl. If also a comely one. Large eyes. A small button nose. And a smile which functioned despite the fact she was still very much covered from head to toe in mud. Exactly the type of maiden constantly bothered by my knights until the girl¡¯s father or the knight¡¯s fianc¨¦ appeared. And here she was, terrorising innocent princesses instead. ¡°Ah, that feels better!¡± she said, flicking the water from her brows. ¡°Gosh, you¡¯ve no idea how long I¡¯ve been waiting to do that. Feels like I¡¯ve got mud behind my eyeballs after how long I¡¯ve had to look through all that.¡± I offered a non-threatening smile so she wouldn¡¯t harm me. It was the worst possible combination. A commoner, mud and the type of cheerful disposition to not realise this was a problem. ¡°I ¡­ I see ¡­ and would dousing oneself in mud happen to be a new fashion trend?¡± ¡°Not likely. This is just me dressing practically.¡± ¡°Oh ¡­ did a rival hire you to sabotage an important reception, then?¡± ¡°If that¡¯s true, then I haven¡¯t been paid for it.¡± The girl offered an unassuming smile as she shook her head. ¡°Nah, this is just me hiding from the vampire.¡± ¡°¡­ The what now?¡± ¡°The vampire.¡± ¡°The vampire. As in ¡­ the blood sucking variety?¡± ¡°Well, I¡¯m not sure how many other varieties there are. But yep. That¡¯s the type. It¡¯s a long story. But basically, I got kidnapped by a vampire, got tied down, escaped, there was a bunch of fire, then I came back and now I¡¯m doing my best to survive. It¡¯s been hectic.¡± I nodded. And then I leaned slightly forwards. ¡°But are you sure it¡¯s a vampire?¡± ¡°Huh?¡± ¡°Have you seen one before? There are stray nobility roaming in this area and it¡¯s easy to mistake them for each other.¡± ¡°Um, I¡¯ve never seen a vampire before ¡­ or much of nobility, either. But I¡¯m pretty sure this one¡¯s a vampire. He had fangs, pale skin, red eyes ¡­ dressed real pompously, cackled a lot and spoke something big about a nefarious scheme.¡± I rolled my hands, indicating for her to continue. She paused in thought. ¡°He turned into bats too.¡± Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I didn¡¯t bother hiding my groan. It was a vampire. After all, if my nobility could turn into bats, then I¡¯d never see them again. They¡¯d just be playing with the ability all day. This was dire news. Any insult I made against a vampire was one which could also apply to the Grand Duchess. I was keeping them in reserve. And since I couldn¡¯t use the same insult twice, it meant I now had to come up with personalised ones just for the encounter ahead. That was far too much effort for vampire spawn. Yes ¡­ the weakest type of vampire available! A single glance around the forest made this clear. Aside from the occasional cloud of mist, it lacked all the chief ingredients for any respectably cursed stretch of woodland. That¡¯s not to say there was no danger, of course. On the contrary, it meant the worst of the littering was still to come. ¡°Yeah, I had the same reaction as you,¡± said the commoner, still chirpy despite her own words. ¡°Except with a lot more screaming. And snot. Not a nice thing to happen during supper with my little brother. And now I can¡¯t even get back to him. There¡¯s too much risk. Both to me and him.¡± As she spoke, she beckoned the cow over. In a feat betraying her profession, she directed the cow to begin washing away any thoughts of bloodletting that a pile of bones had hoped to impress upon it. ¡°I owe you big time,¡± she continued, speaking the words everyone was legally required to say. ¡°That tracker was after me. He was getting close, too. But he couldn''t smell me past the mud. I was planning on getting the jump on him when you showed up. All I can say is I¡¯m glad I didn¡¯t need to put my sword through that test.¡± I looked at the sword in question, lying on the damp grass beside the stream. An unusually shiny sword. A curious thing. There was little in the way of embellishment or even fine craftsmanship. It was a sword with a simple, inoffensive design, the same that could be found forged by apprentices and sold by unscrupulous merchants as enchanted heirlooms everywhere. Except there was clearly a hint of magic about it. The fact that it drew my attention was proof of that. ¡°Your sword would have been wasted,¡± I informed her. ¡°A wight without manners is deserving only of a rock absolutely dropped on purpose. May I ask how you came to be in possession of it? Did you obtain it from the brigands who populate these woods?¡± ¡°Nope. I found it in a wheat field.¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°It was just there, sticking out of the ground when I was first about to escape the forest.¡± My mouth widened in horror. People were leaving swords lying in wheat fields?! That was abominable! I did not want to find a sword in my next berry ¨¦clat gateau! The strangler crabs used by assassins were more than enough! ¡°Weird, right?¡± The girl kneeled down and poked at her sword. ¡°Wasn¡¯t expecting to find this thing while running, that¡¯s for sure. But I¡¯m glad I did. It woke me up. Next thing I did was head straight back into the woods. I¡¯ve been doing my best to be a nuisance to the bandits while finding something to help me kill the vampire before it does more ¡­ you know, vampire stuff. But that was before I met you. I can¡¯t tell you how happy I am. So listen, I have something important to¨C¡± ¡°Wait.¡± I held up my hand. ¡°Repeat what you just said.¡± ¡°... Hm? Which bit? About the vampire?¡± ¡°No. About you. You mentioned a younger brother. What about your mother and father?¡± I received a look of puzzlement. ¡°My parents? Well, they already went the way of the double horned unicorn. But, uh, not because of poaching. I never knew them. Granny found me on the farm and raised me. How come?¡± I blinked at the girl. A farm girl. A peppy farm girl. An orphaned, peppy farm girl. Who found a sword lying in the ground. And who now faced a foe she couldn¡¯t possibly defeat but would still brave regardless. Suddenly, all thoughts of vampires were punted from my mind like fruit slimes during morning calisthenics. I stepped back instead, both hands covering my mouth. This girl ¡­ Everything about her, from her looks to her very presence ¡­ was a recipe for a heroine. I turned at once to Coppelia for confirmation. To my horror, stars shone in her eyes, her hands clasped together and a smile filling her face as she looked at a source of future entertainment. Oh no. It was her. The doom of my kingdom. ¡°O-Ohoho ¡­ ?! Y-You poor thing! You must be so frightened! H-How brave you¡¯ve been to escape the hideous clutches of a dreaded vampire! Here, let¡¯s tidy you up! I¡¯ve ¡­ I¡¯ve a handkerchief sewn by a royal seamstress! I¡¯m told the royal family offers them to all its citizens! It¡¯s so luxurious it can wipe away both mud and work-related stress and ¡­ oh my¨CI just realised I don¡¯t even know your name!¡± The girl leaned away slightly, clearly overwhelmed by how soft my handkerchief suddenly dabbing away at her cheeks was. ¡°Uh ¡­ I¡¯m Milly.¡± ¡°Milly! Why, that is such a ¡­ an outrageously normal name.¡± ¡°Thanks. Granny gave it to me.¡± ¡°And what a delightful person Granny is! Why, I¡¯m certain that as a distinguished member of society, she must have spoken adoringly about all the public infrastructure projects the royal family has built over the years!¡± ¡°Well ¡­ no, she doesn¡¯t talk about stuff like that. Except to complain.¡± ¡°Exactly. And that¡¯s how you know she¡¯s satisfied!¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry?¡± S§×ar?h the Novel?ire(.)ne*t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. ¡°Only those who are truly content are able to complain! It¡¯s the right of all to constantly seek higher standards. And that is something the kingdom welcomes. Were this Granholtz, then the Grand Duchess would have your poor grandmother in chains. But here, complaints are thoroughly abided!¡± ¡°I mean, even if they¡¯re abided, it doesn¡¯t always feel like they¡¯re listened to and¨C¡± ¡°Ohohoho?! That¡¯s because the kingdom strives hard to improve every corner and bedroom tower! Although you may not see the changes around you, I can personally guarantee they occur!¡± ¡°Um ¡­ is that so ¡­ ?¡± ¡°Indeed, I¡¯m certain your dear grandmother would have no wish for anyone to jeopardise her constantly improving way of life ¡­ and that includes by accidentally swinging your sword in a direction others might perceive to be towards, say ¡­ Reitzlake Castle or the Royal Villa.¡± The girl blinked at me. ¡°I don¡¯t think that¡¯s going to happen.¡± ¡°Truly?¡± I clapped my hands in delight. ¡°My, that¡¯s wonderful!!¡± ¡°Yeah. I mean, I¡¯m just going to sell this sword. Or maybe just put it back into the ground.¡± ¡°Hm? You¡¯ll do ¡­ what exactly?¡± ¡°Well, I was planning on taking down the vampire. But I¡¯m pretty sure that was never going to happen. I couldn¡¯t really even see myself beating the smaller undead guy. And you managed to do it with just a rock. That¡¯s way smarter than me. I was just going to whack him.¡± I was bewildered. Not because I disagreed with her. But because I didn¡¯t see why that would mean putting her sword back into the dirt. What heroine did that? It was just re-littering! And then ¡­ I gasped. Why, she no longer saw any reason to wield a sword ¡­ because I¡¯d taken away an important learning experience! If she couldn¡¯t gain invaluable confidence by defeating a henchman, then there was no scenario she could possibly defeat the vampire who¡¯d raised him! That ¡­ was excellent! ¡­ Or was it? This was utterly unprecedented. No heroine in the making had ever been knocked so thoroughly off the beaten trail ¡­ and yet rather than celebrating, I was filled with a deep sense of apprehension. Indeed ¡­ the enemy I knew was better than the one I did not! Every peppy farmer with a sword was dangerous ¡­ but the true peril came in not knowing who they were until they were already leading a peasant mob and already scratching the gates! If it wasn¡¯t her, it¡¯d be someone else! I¡¯d be willfully throwing away my own advantage! ¡°W-Wait a moment ¡­¡± ¡°Huh?¡± ¡°Before you go burying your sword again, I think it¡¯s worth considering keeping it ¡­ perhaps on a mantelpiece ¡­ to stare at ¡­ from a distance ¡­ after all, swords are dangerous weapons and it would be a terrible blot on your conscience if it were to fall into the wrong hands ¡­¡± The girl stared at me. I stared at her back. Remembering her face. Especially as that was the only part of her which was clear. ¡°Right ¡­ um, I can think about it later. It¡¯s actually not what¡¯s really on my mind right now.¡± ¡°Of course! You¡¯re worried about¨C¡± ¡°The vampire.¡± ¡°Yes. The vampire which I hadn¡¯t forgotten about.¡± I offered a nod, far more confident in handling undead than peppy farm girls my servants would now need to keep an eye on. ¡°In which case, you needn¡¯t worry. As blights whose actions far exceed any excessive tax policies, I will do my duty as a loyal servant of the kingdom.¡± A small pause met my declaration, followed by an appreciative smile. ¡°Yeah. I figured as much.¡± The girl pointed at the ring disgracing my finger. ¡°... I know what that means. You¡¯re an adventurer.¡± Suddenly, Coppelia pointed at me, her frown in stark contrast to my look of horror. ¡°Hey! She¡¯s not just an adventurer! ¡­ She¡¯s an S-rank adventurer!¡± ¡°C-Coppelia ¡­ ?!¡± The commoner gasped. Her eyes widened at my semi-loyal handmaiden¡¯s betrayal. ¡°Wow! Really? ¡­ I had no idea! Gosh, I don¡¯t know if that makes me the luckiest unluckiest girl ever. Now it means two incredibly strong people have come to my rescue!¡± I temporarily put my grief to one side. At least until I spoke to Coppelia regarding the good pillow she somehow always took. ¡°... Two?¡± I asked in confusion. ¡°Did a knight accidentally stumble into these woods?¡± ¡°Not a knight, no ¡­ but, uh, another vampire. I didn¡¯t just escape. I was rescued. Hard as it is to believe, there¡¯s actually another vampire here. But this one¡¯s good ¡­ I think. Or at least she¡¯s not very imposing. She looks like us. A sort of pale, but normal version of us. A girl. In pyjamas.¡± I blinked. ¡°... What colour pyjamas?¡± ¡°Pink.¡± And thus¨Cthe image of a young maiden scratching her tummy while reading a romance book fluttered across my mind. One who I¡¯d last sent off to work in the royal library. ¡°Really?¡± I was stunned. ¡°Where is she?¡± ¡°She¡¯s in a cave.¡± ¡°... Again?¡± ¡°Well, I don¡¯t know about ¡®again¡¯ ¡­ but I put her there.¡± ¡°What? Why? Caves are not appropriate places for books. They¡¯re damp and filled with insects.¡± ¡°There aren¡¯t any books. Just her. I chose it because it¡¯s safe. Or at least safer than nowhere. Once I picked up this sword, I came back to help. Eventually, I found her hanging over a branch. I think there was an explosion.¡± I was bewildered. Even so, I was relieved to hear that the explosion had apparently already happened. Whatever my librarian was doing, she was doing it as a loyal subject. ¡°I see ¡­ ? In that case, please show me this vampire. I have matters of serious conversation to discuss with her. Also¨CI¡¯m certain she can be of assistance.¡± The commoner looked awkwardly to the side. ¡°Right, um, that¡¯s a problem.¡± ¡°Why is it a problem?¡± ¡°Well ¡­ I think she¡¯s dead.¡± Chapter 365: Secret Technique A cave in a forest. Small. Damp. Barren. Likely once occupied by a bear as well. Where it was now, nobody knew. Only that the reason it left was probably because of its new lodger. ¡°Hmm.¡± I stared down at the figure lying before me. There she was. A fragile maiden with unblemished skin, silver hair and pink cotton pyjamas. Exactly as I¡¯d last seen her. Or at least her back profile. Resting upon her tummy, with her arms splayed and face down in the dusty ground, her awkward pose painted the perfect image of someone who¡¯d tripped over their own feet and then never bothered to rise again. Thus ¡­ I nodded in acknowledgement. Indeed, as I looked upon her lifeless form, it was all I could do but recognise her contribution to the world of drama. Were she gracing the stage of the Royal Arc Theatre, I had no doubt that the obligatory apples I threw to test every actor playing dead would go unacknowledged. The way she was simply lying motionless, disregarding even the soil caking her face was highly professional. I had no use for such a talent, of course. But I was delighted to know that if she desired a change of occupation, then other avenues existed for her to pursue. Moreover ¡­ as far as I was aware, vampires didn¡¯t leave corpses behind when they died. Instead, all that remained when they were laid to rest a second time were ashes and broken coffins. ¡­ But just in case, I also turned to Coppelia! ¡°What do you think ¡­ ?¡± I asked simply. My loyal handmaiden kneeled down, her eyes blinking as she closely studied the fallen vampire. Then, having learned from my own expert healing techniques, she poked the girl in the cheek. No reaction. ¡°Okay,¡± said Coppelia, nodding as she diligently continued to poke her. ¡°Good news! She¡¯s not dead. I think.¡± ¡°Oh. That¡¯s a relief. Do you feel a reaction to your poking?¡± ¡°Nope. I just think it¡¯s fun.¡± I nodded. That was understandable. ¡°Is she asleep, then? ¡­ Because if so, we¡¯ll need to bring her outside where I can conjure the bed. A pile of dirt is hardly appropriate for a maiden to get her beauty sleep, despite how much the baronesses swear by it.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think she¡¯s sleeping, either. Otherwise she definitely would have started groaning to my pokes by now. Usually you do it after the 3rd one.¡± ¡°E-Excuse me!? Why are you poking me when I¡¯m asleep?!¡± ¡°I mean, when you sleep, you sometimes stuff your face in the pillow just like how vampire girl looks now. Once you haven¡¯t moved for several hours, I sometimes poke you to see if you¡¯re still alive.¡± ¡°Oh, I see.¡± I thought for a moment. ¡°In that case, thank you. Also, you may poke me earlier.¡± ¡°Will do~!¡± I nodded at Coppelia¡¯s diligence, then kneeled down to join her in poking my librarian¡¯s cheek. To my regret, but not surprise, my healing touch wasn¡¯t working on her. It was only natural. My angelic nature had little effect on a vampire other than to leave a faint dimple. ¡°Hmm. How peculiar. If she¡¯s neither dead nor sleeping, then what is she doing? Is she injured?¡± Coppelia picked the girl up by the scuff of the neck as though she were a lazing tabby cat. She peered underneath her. ¡°Well, I don¡¯t see any injuries. Although it could be something inside her.¡± ¡°How curious ¡­ do vampires suffer illnesses?¡± ¡°No, that¡¯s one of the perks of being a vampire. They pretty much repel every disease back towards where it came from. With blood sucking interest. Except maybe not this one. Her vampiric presence is so weak that even when I¡¯m poking her, I can barely feel it.¡± My hands clapped together in understanding. ¡°I see! My, how very adept of her! Her self defence mechanism is to evade all unwanted attention from nobility after her rare title by appearing even more pitiable than when we last saw her. That is ¡­ well, that is somewhat remarkable. I admit, I didn¡¯t think such a thing was possible.¡± Behind us, a village girl with a sword looked over from the opening of the cave. She was joined by a cow she was petting, who having been removed from the blood stained grass now appeared slightly less hungry than before. I wasn¡¯t certain which of the two I found more concerning. ¡°Um ¡­ by any chance, would you happen to already know each other?¡± she asked. ¡°Indeed, we do,¡± I answered. ¡°Although this kingdom is large, the world is small.¡± The farm girl paused. ¡°I¡¯m not sure if that makes sense.¡± ¡°It doesn¡¯t need to make sense. It only needs to be fair. But as glad as I am for our ample farmlands, it does mean they¡¯re all too often allowed to go unattended. Therefore, I ask that you return home to assume your life as a common farmer and absolutely nobody else. You may also take the cow.¡± ¡°Huh? You want me and Daisy to leg it?¡± I couldn¡¯t nod fast enough. Frankly, I hadn¡¯t a clue what this girl was going to get up to. All I knew was that the further she was away from accidentally slaying a vampire, the less likely she was to wield that sword for anything other than appropriate things. Such as gardening. ¡°Your assistance has been much appreciated. Especially with taming the cow. However, I cannot have village girls wandering behind me while carrying suspect swords found in the mud. That¡¯s a highly dangerous combination.¡± The girl blinked. She looked between the shiny sword attached to her hand and the cow beside her. Two starkly different career paths. Only one of which was beneficial to my family. ¡°It sounds like I¡¯ll be in the way,¡± she said, giving her sword a random jiggle. ¡°Which I 100% agree with. But I think I¡¯d feel bad about running away again. Are you sure you don¡¯t want me to, uh, lure out the vampire or something? ¡­ Because I think I can do that. As bait or something.¡± I was aghast. That was an incredibly ¡­ heroine thing to say! I had to avoid it at all costs! ¡°O-Ohohoho ¡­ that¡¯s ¡­ that¡¯s not necessary in the slightest! Like my loyal handmaiden said, I¡¯m ¡­¡± ¡°¨CAn S-rank adventurer!¡± ¡°No, I¡¯m a beautiful maiden blessed with a genius mind, a radiant aura and an unblemished smile. And I only require one of these to do away with a vampire who cannot put their immortality to practical use. Such as being a sleepless employee.¡± The commoner blinked at me, a dozen questions regarding my natural talents obviously flickering across her mind. Even so, her lips remained tactfully closed. I was impressed. She might be a farmer, but she already possessed more wit than any of my nobility ever displayed. Were she not so perilous to my kingdom, I¡¯d promote her on the spot. ¡°... Will she be okay?¡± she asked instead, pointing towards my collapsed librarian. ¡°Of course. This maiden might be a vampire, but that doesn¡¯t mean I¡¯ve no means to rouse her.¡± ¡°Really? Will you use magic?¡± ¡°Ohohoho ¡­ no.¡± I offered a confident smile, hand upon my chest. ¡°I shall use a secret technique carefully honed over the years. With it, I¡¯m able to cure even the harshest of debilities. However, know that I absolutely cannot permit you to see such a forbidden thing.¡± An appropriate look of astonishment came across the girl¡¯s face. A moment later, she allowed her shoulders to fall with relief, knowing that I was now here to rescue her from a life of revolution. Perhaps if she was luckier, she¡¯d even return to her farm to find a newly made road where her barn used to be. ¡°... All right, Daisy! You heard the nice lady. Let¡¯s try to find your home, okay?¡± S§×ar?h the ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. The cow looked up with a swish of its tail. It offered no complaint while being ushered away from the cave. Then, just before the commoner scooted out of sight of the entrance, she turned to offer a smile which still bore a few hints of mud. ¡°Thanks, Miss Adventurer,¡± she said brightly. ¡°I¡¯ll definitely remember this!¡± And with that, she was gone. For now. I waited until the sounds of her voice chatting with the cow faded. And then I waited a bit more. Once nothing could be heard but the mild breeze whispering into the cave, I nodded with satisfaction. Indeed, today was already a good day! I¡¯d practically averted calamity! There was still the matter of my drunken peasants, of course. Sooner or later, the alcohol numbing their ire would be spent. But so long as they were shorn of their natural leader, then all was well. But only if I didn¡¯t falter now. Thus¨CI returned my attention to my newest librarian. Lifeless, motionless and sprawled upon the floor, it was clear that this was no common ailment she suffered from. And while she was hardly the most terrifying vampire to have walked the shadows, the fact still remained that few things could easily wear her down more than the epilogue of A Summer Knight¡¯s Dream, Book 3. ¡­ Fortunately, this was nothing I couldn¡¯t fix! ¡°Coppelia.¡± ¡°Mmh~?¡± ¡°I require a macaron.¡± I nodded in seriousness ¡­ then held out my palm. Coppelia blinked. Then, she swiftly rummaged through her pouch of knick-knacks and emergency snacks, before finding me a sugary, stale and somewhat off-colour macaron. This would do. I leaned in and slid my palm beneath the face of the fallen maiden. A small bump of resistance greeted me as I pressed the macaron against the girl¡¯s lips. And then¨C ¡°Nngh ¡­ om .. nom ¡­¡± She began to stir while nibbling on the snack. Ohohohohohohohoho! I smiled in triumph. Indeed, why did it matter if a vampire was in a state which could baffle the most learned of clerics? I was an expert in the field of healing those in a state far worse than this! Namely ¡­ my older sister! Yes! I¡¯d brought back Clarise from the brink more times than I could count! When she failed to show up to dinner for the 3rd consecutive night in a row, it was all too often I inquired at her observatory only to find a mere shell whose existence was clinging onto the last tether! ¡°Uwaaah~ I can¡¯t believe that worked.¡± ¡°Ohohohohoho! Behold! The light which only a dose of sugar can provide! ¡­ When all else fails, remember this¨Csnacks are more than an indulgence! To fragile maidens, they are the lifeblood which runs deeper than our hearts! They feed the very soul!¡± Coppelia nodded enthusiastically. I was delighted. Should worse come to worst, she could bring me back from any witch¡¯s curse through a well-placed cupcake! Perhaps not the ones she kept in her pouch, true ¡­ but once we were done with this affair, every bakery and cr¨ºpe stall would be open for business once again! And so¨Cwe watched as Miriam Estroux, countess, librarian and vampire, with all the noble station afforded to her ¡­ slowly rolled onto her back like a small animal righting herself. Her eyes opened to an air more suitable for a tired ghost than a macabre creature of the night used to rising from a coffin to terrorise the innocents. In fact, she didn¡¯t rise at all. She simply remained on her back, blinking up at the ceiling. Coppelia helpfully waved her hand. ¡°Oh,¡± said Miriam, finally noticing us right beside her. She blinked several more times. ¡°... How many years has it been?¡± ¡°572 years,¡± replied Coppelia. ¡°Everyone you know is gone.¡± ¡°Really? ¡­ That¡¯s odd. You both have very strong and familiar features.¡± ¡°My frown has descended through centuries,¡± I informed her. ¡°It will never falter or tarnish, no matter how many more will pass.¡± Miriam nodded. ¡°... Has it actually been 572 years?¡± ¡°No,¡± I admitted. ¡°Oh. That explains why my arms don¡¯t want to move. I normally feel less tired after my naps.¡± ¡°And what could have driven you to such a desperate nap? ¡­ Why, there¡¯s not even a pillow! If you¡¯d napped any longer, you¡¯d have woken up shaped like a wight!¡± Miriam looked up in thought. ¡°Everything exploded.¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°I drew holy runes into the ground. It was very volatile. Likely because the heavens look poorly on vampires appropriating their sacred symbols. I don¡¯t think it was my best idea.¡± I was stunned. ¡°You drew holy runes? ¡­ And it caused the heavens to create an explosion? That is wonderful! Can you do it again? They¡¯ve long since become accustomed to seeing their chapels burgled.¡± ¡°I suppose I could. But not if I can help it. Honestly, it¡¯s not a very pleasant experience.¡± ¡°Oh, I see. Then why would you do it?¡± ¡°To defeat Master Harkus.¡± ¡°... Who?¡± ¡°Master Harkus. He is a vampire. Specifically, the one who turned me into a vampire.¡± I blinked as a name was finally revealed ¡­ and also instantly forgotten. ¡°Truly? Why, I had no idea you were acquainted with this ruffian! Did you know he was here?¡± ¡°No. I only found out accidentally. Or so I thought. He has returned to this kingdom. I¡¯m told it¡¯s because he views my actions as a book hermit to not be in keeping with his traditional values as a scion of the night and ruler of the shadows. He believes it reflects poorly upon him.¡± I let out a shocked gasp. ¡°That¡¯s a scandalous belief to hold! There¡¯s nothing more regal than studying the learned writings of our peers from underneath a duvet where nobody can see what books we¡¯re actually reading!¡± ¡°Yes, I quite agree.¡± Miriam paused. A look of regret crept across her face. ¡°... I¡¯m sorry,¡± she said, turning slightly away as much as she could. ¡°This isn¡¯t quite what I¡¯d planned. I had no intention of troubling you. Were I aware that Master Harkus would seek me out, I would not have lingered, nor allowed myself to take up your generosity.¡± ¡°Oh? ¡­ And what generosity do you refer to?¡± ¡°You allowed me a home where everybody is apologetic whenever they eat using a silver spoon in my presence. To become a librarian.¡± I nodded. ¡°Yes, Countess Miriam Estroux. A librarian. And it is the job of a librarian to both read and catalogue books. Not to spare a thought for those so crass they¡¯d seek to disturb you from this important role. Rest assured, I shall not permit this spawn as lacking in ability as manners to chastise you, much less actively impede you. I will do away with him in a manner which befits his status as a pest.¡± Miriam blinked. ¡°You wish to destroy Master Harkus?¡± ¡°No, I wish to roll my face in a pillow until the dent can be seen on the other side. But failing that, I¡¯ll accept offering the ashes of a gnat I can direct the complaint of my every farmer towards. This spawn has been busy inciting rebellion.¡± ¡°I see. That does sound very much like the sort of thing he would do. And so there¡¯s something I believe I should clarify before we continue this conversation. Master Harkus is not a spawn. He is a master vampire, cited to rise to the Nocturne Court. He is very powerful, very old and functionally immune to all normal attacks.¡± Miriam tried craning her face away more. This time, not out of regret, but with a tinge of embarrassment. ¡°... Um, not like me. Please do not use me as a reference.¡± I leaned slightly over her, my raised eyebrow bringing her gaze back. ¡°And as I said¨Ca spawn.¡± ¡°Master Harkus is¨C¡± ¡°An ascended flea. One who was bested by holy magic from an emaciated vampire, as your continued existence proves.¡± ¡°Rather than bested, I believe it would be more appropriate to say that he was so insulted by my attack that he was rendered unable to move. I don¡¯t think it will happen again. Which is a problem. You really do need holy magic to defeat a vampire. I¡¯m uncertain if your enchanted steel sword is enough. You will need a consecrated silver sword ¡­ or, well, sunlight, but in practice, that never kills vampires.¡± ¡°Oh? ¡­ And why is that?¡± Miriam shifted slightly, as though just the thought of it was enough to cause her to retreat. ¡°It¡¯s our most fatal weakness,¡± she said simply. ¡°As a result, no vampire ever allows themselves to be caught in a position where the sun is still overhead. Even Master Harkus would wait until nightfall before revealing himself.¡± I nodded. And then I stood up, before turning on my heel to head to my next destination. A deportation meeting with an unwanted leech. ¡°¡­ Is that so? In that case, I fail to see what the issue is.¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± I noted the darkening light outside the cave. Dusk was here, and night was soon to follow. But that hardly mattered. After all¨C My smile was brighter than the sun. Chapter 366: A Royal Awakening I led the way, Starlight Grace in hand. It made little difference. Despite starlight grace¡¯s illuminating glare, it pierced the unnatural fog only as much as a dessert fork into a 14 layer cake likely down to just its 10th layer depending on how many of the new hires still needed to display their endurance. It¡¯d come suddenly and without warning. A white barrier so thick that the trees were now my worst nemesis, each dipping branch and wayward root trying to make up for the lack of effort in breaking my ankles earlier. And yet my reward for navigating it was an even less welcome foe. A squatting vampire whose very malice bled into the air I now breathed. Unseen crows laughed from their branches. Shadows flickered like stalking silhouettes. And despite the presence of the warming dusk somewhere lost overhead, all I could feel was a chill seeping into my skin, tickling the back of my neck. Something ominous was waiting ¡­ watching. And that meant I had only one concern on my mind. ¡°You¡¯re expanding the library ¡­ ?¡± Yes. I was utterly shocked. Beside me, my newly hired librarian nodded from beneath her conjured umbrella of ice. Despite the fog being thick enough to absorb the dipping rays of sunlight, she wisely chose to take no chances with whatever magic another vampire had chosen to summon. ¡°The details are still being decided,¡± said Miriam. ¡°I confess this isn¡¯t my forte. Until now, I¡¯ve been able to chisel out my own libraries from existing spaces. Actually building a library is quite daunting, even if it¡¯s just additional wings. However, I¡¯ve done my best to ensure it remains on budget.¡± I nodded, knowing full well the difficulties of working within a budget. After all, I had to keep firing stewards until one said yes. ¡°I see ¡­ that is, well, pleasantly surprising. The Royal Villa is no stranger to being expanded, of course. But this is usually in relation to my father¡¯s camembert cellar.¡± ¡°I believe the king also approved widening the camembert cellar, yes. But not before agreeing to my suggestion to expand the library. I believe he was already considering it, given the issues regarding the lack of space.¡± ¡°The lack of space?¡± I blinked in puzzlement. As far as I could recall, the shelves were not necessarily bursting at the seams. But then again, I paid them little heed, knowing they contained only the study materials my tutors struggled to find when they mysteriously went missing just before our lessons ¡­ or the poetry anthologies which wouldn''t go missing even when they were mysteriously tossed in a lake filled with blood piranhas. ¡°The library has no dedicated staff other than myself, but the stewards have kept an organised catalogue. It matches what I see. Most of the shelves are full. However, since I¡¯ll soon be requiring room for new titles, I felt that adding additional shelves was the only practical solution.¡± ¡°My, that¡¯s very proactive of you! Thank you for your efforts. Although by any chance ¡­ did you also suggest removing some books as well?¡± ¡°Removing?¡± ¡°Yes. Those with neither historical nor artistic worth. Such as poetry books written at such a young age that they contain words which don¡¯t quite fully rhyme. Or indeed, exist in any dictionary.¡± ¡°Oh! In that case, I did mention that the poetry books took up 54% of the library¡¯s shelves. But the king didn¡¯t see this as an issue. Rather, he was happy to expand the library so that he could have space for transcriptions of every existing work. He wants them preserved for future generations.¡± Hmm. How odd. I didn¡¯t realise my spine could shudder like that. ¡°I ¡­ I see.¡± I offered a bright smile. ¡°As expected, my father is not so easily defeated.¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°However, please rest assured that one way or another, there will be additional shelf space. I¡¯ve a literary connoisseur who will shortly help collect some of the poetry anthologies.¡± ¡°Really? Who is it?¡± ¡°The big guy~¡± said Coppelia, suddenly appearing as she hung upside down from a branch. ¡°He¡¯s a dragon.¡± Miriam blinked. ¡°A dragon?¡± ¡°Mmh! She conned him into borrowing some of the poetry books so I could lounge here longer.¡± ¡°E-Excuse me!¡± My mouth widened. ¡°You are not lounging here! You are my loyal handmaiden, whose duties may be different, but no less important than that of the countess¡¯s!¡± ¡°¡­ You¡¯re not denying you conned him, huh?¡± I raised a hand to my lips, barely covering my smile. ¡°Ohohohoho! A dragon is a lawful entity! He has sealed his doom! If he wants to rid himself of them, he will have to pay me a hefty bribe!¡± ¡°Uwaaah~ extorting a dragon. That¡¯s always worked well.¡± ¡°Exactly. As creatures bound by contracts, they must accept whatever fate is agreed by their own words.¡± Miriam listened with a stunned expression. For a moment, her lips parted as the first of many questions tried to escape. They closed a moment later as she wisely accepted ignorance instead. ¡°Oh, okay,¡± she said, looking up in thought. ¡°A dragon will collect some of the poetry books. That¡¯s a little bit terrifying. But also a relief. I feared that I¡¯d underestimated the amount of space I require.¡± ¡°It sounds like you intend to make ample use of the library. May I ask what you hope to include that necessitates an expansion?¡± Miriam offered me a look of utmost seriousness. She raised her umbrella to reveal her brows. ¡°Work of culture.¡± She fell silent. As did I. Instead, through the sign language only learned by those who studied the same subject of impropriety secrets and scandal, an entire conversation passed through our eyes alone. I nodded. She nodded. ¡°You have done well,¡± I said simply. ¡°Thank you.¡± Miriam smiled. ¡°I intend to make the library representative of the kingdom¡¯s taste in literature, including both fiction and non-fiction. It will be a place to celebrate all the greatest works admired by commoners and nobility alike.¡± ¡°That is a truly worthy ambition. I believe it is only fitting that we in positions of privilege never lose sight of the common bond which holds us all together¨Cthat of tales spoken in whispered tones. With that said, I worry about the consequences of the library¡¯s increased popularity. I wonder if there will be space to quietly read without disturbing others ¡­ ?¡± ¡°There will be a private room hidden by a mirror door. Only we shall know of it.¡± I clapped my hands in delight. ¡°M-My!! How wonderful! ¡­ Of course, discretion is important. If my maids and tutors wished to indulge in the new works, I would never wish to make them feel uncomfortable by being concerned with formality over my presence.¡± ¡°There will be a wide variety of popular gateway works,¡± said Miriam with a fervent nod. ¡°I¡¯ve already placed a significant number of orders with the funds I¡¯ve been allocated. In addition, I also search for individual books using my own personal network. It was actually how I came to be here.¡± S~ea??h the N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. ¡°Oh? And what book is it that drew you away from the library?¡± ¡°The Icy Duke''s Heart Melts To A Forbidden Flame. The original manuscript.¡± I gasped. ¡°Truly? That ¡­ that scandalous book which I have never once read? Did ¡­ Did you find it?¡± ¡°I did, yes. My maid has it ¡­ I think. She comes and goes. But I believe it¡¯s currently in her possession.¡± ¡°I see.¡± I nodded, my excitement slowly fading. ¡°That doesn''t sound at all reassuring ¡­ ?¡± ¡°You needn¡¯t fear. She is reliable, especially in times of crisis. I¡¯m deeply indebted to her¨Cas I am with you as well. Although I understand I¡¯ve been employed to do a job, I admit that I¡¯m also greatly enjoying my present life. It is fun.¡± I offered my finest princess smile. ¡°Ohohoho ¡­ that makes me very pleased. You needn¡¯t change in that regard. There¡¯s a reason I order every servant to be happy. Joy equals productivity.¡± Then, I flickered away a puff of fog attacking my nose. ¡°... Indeed, which is all the more reason to dispose of those who¡¯d stand in the way of your new found contentment¨Cproviding we can find them. Are you quite certain this is the right way? I notice we seem to be walking in one direction.¡± Miriam nodded, her expression turning serious once again as she looked ahead. ¡°Walking in one direction is all we need. The fog doesn¡¯t extend that far. But to those without an invitation, they will never find the exit. However, I¡¯ve no reason to believe my invitation to Master Harkus¡¯s abode has been rescinded. We should be there soon.¡± ¡°Excellent. And what are we expecting from this particular vampire¡¯s lair, then? A darkened castle teeming with bats and sanguine windows straight from a brochure?¡± ¡°Um, it¡¯s not a castle, no. It¡¯s actually a manor.¡± ¡°A manor? ¡­ Is that it?¡± ¡°Yes, although I¡¯m not an expert, I believe most vampires don''t actually own their own castles. They¡¯re quite conspicuous.¡± I didn¡¯t bother hiding my groan. All this effort to use my own two feet and not even a darkened castle to use as reference for my goblin foreman to know exactly what not to build on Soap Island. ¡°Is it at least a particularly evil looking manor?¡± I asked hopefully. ¡°I would say so, yes. Or rather, it was.¡± ¡°It was?¡± ¡°It¡¯s, well, it might be gone now ¡­¡± A moment of silence passed. ¡°Did you blow it up?¡± I asked, blinking. ¡°No, I set it on fire.¡± ¡°Wow,¡± said Coppelia, dropping down from the branches at last. ¡°She¡¯s just like us.¡± ¡°That¡¯s patently untrue. We¡¯ve never set anything on fire.¡± I paused as I went through my memories. ¡°... Deliberately.¡± Coppelia giggled. I hardly saw why. Any evidence we¡¯d inadvertently caused the occasional tower or vault to spontaneously ignite was also destroyed in the process. And if the master rodent was fortunate, that list would also include his lair. Thus¨Cwe continued onwards, trundling through the unnatural fog. Eventually, the white barrier thinned along with the oaks attempting to headbutt our faces and the silhouette of our destination revealed itself. Yet far from the sight of even a slightly evil manor to roll my eyes at, what appeared before my innocent eyes was instead a squatter¡¯s dream paradise. There, beyond a line of trees, was the clear remains of a hovel. A hazy dusk hovered over the shell of a building made prettier by whatever flames had recently engulfed it. Every window and doorway was a peek into rooms furnished by ashes, while the rooftop was a chasm entirely. Here and there, shafts of timber so charred that even the flames had turned their nose away had crashed through an entire section of the wall, revealing a gallery of portraits now boasting images of the barren wall they hanged upon. All except for one. Pwam. Pwam. Pwam. A new portrait as colourful as a rainbow. And it was being hammered into place against the least scorched part of the wall by a ruffian covered in a layer of sweat. Amidst the ruins of a vampire¡¯s illegal abode, hoodlums no different from those learning to harvest wheat were diligently hard at work. However, while this would normally mean pillaging the burned hovel to its last melted spoon, they were instead sweeping up the ashes with brooms, replanting ceiling beams and lifting away the burned furniture. I took a step back, Starlight Grace lowering by my side as I looked on in shock. ¡°... Is this the vampire¡¯s lair?¡± Miriam nodded from beneath her umbrella. She stayed within the fog, but shared the same look of discomfort I did ¡°It is, yes ¡­ a foulness corrupts the very air. I regret that I was unable to see it burned to its foundations.¡± ¡°Being burned to its foundations would have been worse. It¡¯d mean that whatever replaced it would look even more ghastly.¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± I pointed at a stack of tables and cabinets sitting upon the grass. Each was clearly waiting to be carried into the hovel. Furniture that had been plundered from different barns, with few sharing the same size, colour or workmanship. The only similarity was the lack of varnish and care over their condition. ¡°2.5/10,¡± I declared. ¡°Why ¡­ I can scarcely believe the disrespect on display! You went through the effort of doing away with whatever mould was feeding upon the walls, and this squatter responds by refilling the open space with mismatching furniture!¡± Indeed, I was utterly incensed! If my librarian decided to take a moment from her busy schedule expanding the Royal Villa, then I didn¡¯t expect such charity to be repaid through hiring command brigands as decorators! ¡°Oh.¡± Miriam blinked as she dared to lean a few inches forwards. ¡°You¡¯re right. The wardrobes do rather stick out against all the ash and burned walls, don¡¯t they?¡± ¡°They do more than stick out. This is a betrayal of expectations. Here I was, wondering what scheme would require any self-respecting vampire to require the use of forest bandits as goons ¡­ and it turns out that they were simply the ones with the most agreeable pricing options!¡± ¡°In that case, I believe Master Harkus must have negotiated a very favourable bargain. These men have had their minds dominated.¡± I threw up my arms in disbelief. ¡°... So why would he choose these? Why not an interior designer? Why not a child tasked with matching the same two colours?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not entirely certain. But while Master Harkus has always been frivolous, he has never been aimless. I fear there¡¯s a deliberate reason for this.¡± ¡°Incorrect. There is no reason for a lack of standards. And a vampire who¡¯s lived long enough to know this has even fewer causes to disregard it. Now, where can I find this master of hoodlums?¡± ¡°Um ¡­ well, given the exorbitant amounts of darkness I can see lifting from the manor, I believe he likely has a crypt below.¡± ¡°I agree with vampire girl,¡± said Coppelia, her neck craning as she blinked at the orange sky. ¡°You can¡¯t see it, but it¡¯s like a cloud of evil. It¡¯s amazing.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve no doubt it is. It takes a true scoundrel to keep a royal entourage waiting while he loiters in a crypt. The fact he isn¡¯t here to welcome us with a dramatic speech is his worst crime yet.¡± Miriam shook her head. ¡°I don¡¯t believe he¡¯ll offer such a pleasantry. Not while the last light still lingers. He¡¯s likely still resting. Although we can go many nights without sleep, most higher vampires choose to actively treat the daylight hours with disdain.¡± I clapped my hands together and smiled. ¡°Is that so? ¡­ Then it seems we¡¯ll need to remind this vampire of his responsibilities as a host.¡± ¡°Yes, I agree.¡± Miriam paused ¡°¡­ Out of curiosity, what does that actually involve?¡± I offered my warmest smile. ¡°Ohohohoho ¡­ why, that¡¯s simple. I intend to wake the dead.¡± Miriam blinked. She looked at Coppelia as she began stretching her legs. Then at me as I began stretching my arms. A moment later¨Cshe let out a tiny groan. Chapter 367: Requiem In Scarlet Master Harkus of Revarin was 857 years old. He was practically in the spring of his unlife. Others might disagree, of course. But others were also dead. As a vampire, he outlived them all. And if they were fortunate, it wasn¡¯t simply because he murdered them. Although that did frequently happen. Because for all the things vampires were, open to criticism was not one of them. A vampire¡¯s pride was a thing more delicate than the windows of any cathedral. Yet rather than a weakness, it was their greatest strength. In order to stand atop the hierarchy of the world, it was also necessary to act the part. To be as regal as the moon upon its throne of night, accepting neither argument nor judgement from any creature or thing which could dare utter a word in their presence. With one exception. Other vampires. Despite all the creatures which wandered above and below the surface, vampires were the only peers they themselves accepted. Not even dragons were worthy of such an accolade. For all their legend, they still fell prey to the allure of gold. That made them little more than magpies with larger tails. But those blessed with the Sanguine Gift didn¡¯t need crowns. They didn¡¯t even need blood. A vampire never needed to lower themselves like a beggar collecting scraps for alms. They required nothing to survive. Yet although starvation would never find them, that didn¡¯t mean they never hungered. It simply wasn¡¯t a warm meal they craved. Instead ¡­ they cared only for the cacophony of the Oldest Dance. They coined it, long before lords, dukes and kings opted to steal it to describe their own petty acts of mischief. Because where humans skidded, stumbled and coughed in hope of tripping a single heel, vampires swept away the carpet and all upon it. And what they revealed as the walls came crashing down was a tapestry of scheming. A web so tangled that few could know where one plot ended and another began. It was the great masquerade. The unending game. A pathway to recognition. After all, vampires respected nothing if not wholesale destruction using the least possible effort. And in this, Master Harkus was well ahead of his rivals. His exploits in the Rozinthe Imperium was proof of that. Back when the Grand Duchy of Granholtz was greater in name than in territory, it was the finest empire the continent had ever known. Whether it was the height of midday or the small hours of the night, its grand plazas teemed with opportunity. There were markets flush with coins minted that very morning. Basilicas housing the wise and the foolish. Amphitheatres with more songs than there were ears to accommodate the endless talent. It was the centre of civilisation, overlooked by the shadows of mage towers an empress sat imposingly upon her throne like a statue come to life. A land of prosperity, risen to the sound of trumpets, marching boots and endless victory. ¡­ And it had all crumbled to a single whisper. That was the night of nights. As an empire slept, a plague awoke. And all it took was ridding the streets of the damnable cats which gnawed ceaselessly upon his robes. Because while humans knew fear, felines apparently did not. Master Harkus never included that point. But he had no need to. His curated version was a tale which left his audience mesmerised greater than any [Dominate Will] could achieve. And so he obliged like the gentleman he was, ensuring that every ear could listen and every voice pay tribute as he repeated his expert narration again and again ¡­ until eventually, for the very first time¨C Clink A glass came down, lightly echoing around the crypt. ¡°Master Harkus,¡± said the bewitching lady opposite his table. ¡°Your triumph over the Rozinthe Imperium was a truly monumental affair.¡± ¡°Thank you, Mistress Katarine. In which case, allow me to provide more details about¨C¡± ¡°And because it was so magnificent, I¡¯m certain Lord Nosferatu is pleased with your success. However, as our patron god is no doubt omniscient and therefore always listening, I believe it¡¯s best not to offer him a tale he¡¯s already heard before. Too many times. In the past hour alone.¡± Beside her, the only man whose powdered wig was more glossy than his swirled his glass of oak matured blood. He gave it a sip, then deliberately lowered his glass down as well. ¡°I agree with the good mistress,¡± he said, idly gazing at his surroundings. ¡°We all enjoy a fair boast at this table. Yet it¡¯d simply be a waste if such a compelling tale was told so often that our spawns hear it before they¡¯re even made. They should hear it directly from the vampire himself.¡± Master Harkus offered a small chuckle ¡­ all the while planning which order their heads would roll into his coffin. It was the hardest decision he¡¯d ever made. Mistress Katarine of Renigall and Master Florian of Astra. Both wore a smile of envy as red as the blood they¡¯d wasted upon their lips. How the two pretenders had crawled their way into the Nocturne Court, he would never know. All he knew was that one was required to die for their seat to be vacant. In true vampire spirit, he¡¯d need to wait for another to arrive so he could murder at least three. ¡°My apologies,¡± he said in a jovial tone. ¡°It¡¯s so rare to be visited by such esteemed members of the Nocturne Court. I¡¯m afraid I¡¯ve little to offer in terms of refreshments. But in words of entertainment, I have plenty.¡± ¡°So you do,¡± said Master Florian with a nod. ¡°But rest assured, we haven¡¯t come to monopolise either. Not when greater refreshments and a larger audience is waiting to greet you. We came to inform you that the Nocturne Court has convened and made a decision.¡± Master Harkus paused, the button beneath the table ready to accidentally guillotine their heads instead of calling for more drinks untouched for just a few moments longer. ¡°Oh? There was a meeting?¡± ¡°There was, yes. All the most notable vampires were in attendance.¡± ¡°When?¡± ¡°Last month.¡± ¡°How curious ¡­ I believe I was there, no?¡± ¡°You were. But we had another meeting. Directly after you left. It was to discuss your application for induction as a full member of the Nocturne Court.¡± Master Harkus sat back slightly, surprised at the expediency. ¡°Is that so? I was under the impression these things took time. As well as a vacancy at the table.¡± ¡°Time has already been taken. Believe it or not, consideration for your inclusion was first submitted the moment the flames began to take Rozinthe¡¯s capital. Needless to say, the utter collapse of civil society, the famine and the hundred years of bloody war which occurred afterwards significantly escalated the speed of the vetting process.¡± ¡°Oh, I see ... and the vacancy?¡± ¡°Mistress Mirleena sadly passed away a fortnight ago.¡± ¡°That is terrible,¡± said Master Harkus, stunned that the paladin order he¡¯d tipped off was actually successful. ¡°How did she perish?¡± ¡°It was most unfortunate. She¡¯d survived an assault by a group of paladins who¡¯d somehow stumbled upon her well-hidden lair. Yet during her relocation, she was discovered by one of the Sonnenritter. The 3rd, I believe.¡± A shudder ran through every vampire in the crypt. A feat only achievable by mention of the Holy Church¡¯s very own clandestine organisation. Sisters were the natural enemies of all vampires. But the Sonnenritter were a blight so unholy that it was a shock they didn¡¯t burn beneath daylight swifter than vampires did. Even among them, however, the 3rd was known to be particularly experienced in matters related to their kind. ¡°I grieve for her passing,¡± said Master Harkus, the lie coming as easily as his look of sorrow. ¡°Mistress Mirleena was ever a stalwart friend. I regret never having taken up her offer to dominate a kraken into slapping itself.¡± Mistress Katarine offered a respectful nod. ¡°As do we all. However, there is an eternity to mourn and little time to fill up a vacancy. You understand, I hope, the¨C¡± Bwoomph. All of a sudden, a crashing noise reverberated throughout the crypt. It was like something very heavy had been dropped. Despite the amount of earth which existed between here and the surface, the sound was so clear that it left a slight ringing. ¡°My apologies,¡± said Master Harkus swiftly. ¡°My manor is currently undergoing renovations.¡± Mistress Katarine nodded, gracefully ignoring the interrupting. ¡°It is fine ¡­ as I was saying, I hope you understand the peril in allowing a seat to remain unclaimed for too long.¡± ¡°I do, yes. Not every vampire respects due process. Some consider it a bore worth murdering over.¡± ¡°Indeed, and truth be told, I do not resent those who do. Bureaucracy goes hand-in-hand with vampiric matters. And this doesn¡¯t always garner a favourable reputation. However, the formal process is necessary. It is no small thing to be promoted to the governing organisation of the shadows themselves. There are responsibilities. And both Master Florian and I personally vouched for your character to uphold them.¡± Master Harkus sat up straighter, all the while gently lifting his foot away from the raised tile to activate the window pointing directly at the opposite side of the table. ¡°I¡¯m deeply touched. For what it¡¯s worth, I have always held both of you in the highest regards. If it is your decision to accept me into the Nocturne Court, then I will humbly accept this great honour.¡± Suddenly, a pause. Master Florian adjusted a loose strand in his powdered wig. He did it until Mistress Katarine cleared her throat. Repeatedly. ¡°It is true that a preliminary decision has been made for your acceptance,¡± he said, his intonation needlessly measured. ¡°There¡¯s still paperwork which needs to be completed, of course. You understand.¡± ¡°Naturally, I do.¡± ¡°However, with that said ¡­ there are some outstanding issues. Your spawn, for example.¡± Master Harkus laboured to keep his smile intact. A difficult thing when his last memories of her was blasphemy in the form of an explosion which did considerably more harm to his psyche than his body. Bwooooomph. ¡­ And even more so when another crashing sound filled the crypt. ¡°My apologies once again,¡± said Master Harkus, his hand curling into a fist beneath the table. ¡°My ¡­ assistants are not known for their handiwork.¡± ¡°Yes, a common problem,¡± replied Master Florian amiably. ¡°You can dominate a mind to make them believe they¡¯re an excellent plumber, but that won¡¯t help them with their actual handiwork. You needn¡¯t worry. We¡¯ve all tried that route.¡± ¡°Indeed we have ¡­ now, about my spawn. You refer to Miriam, I take it?¡± ¡°I do, yes. This ¡­ well, chatter about her not being very traditional in her choice of subversive activities isn¡¯t a disqualifying fault. But it is a distraction. While most of the Nocturne Court find her actions to be amusing, I fear that such talk would be an unnecessary cloud during your ascension.¡± Master Harkus nodded. ¡°I see. Your consideration is appreciated. And I am happy to offer good news in that regard. I have actually spoken with Miriam concerning her activities. It is, after all, the reason why I¡¯m here.¡± ¡°Goodness me. Then that¡¯s excellent. How did they go?¡± ¡°Splendidly. In fact, I believe that one more conversation is all that¡¯s needed to truly instil in her any concerns you might have regarding her behaviour.¡± ¡°Well, that would be most ideal! It would mean Mistress Katarine and I can remain to formally announce your ascension. Providing, of course, that we¡¯ve reassurances from your spawn that her activities take on a slightly more ¡­ well, sinister nature going forwards.¡± Master Harkus¡¯s smile strained at what was being suggested. ¡°... You wish to meet her?¡± ¡°It¡¯d only be brief. Hardly an interview. I imagine just a minute or two is enough. Really, we just want to be able to say we¡¯ve met her so that we can personally help assuage any rumours the malcontents would hope to continue. There will be many envious of your new position. But it¡¯s one you¡¯re more than qualified for. You scored extremely highly against our candidate evaluation criteria.¡± It took all his willpower to stop himself from immediately scouring the forest. That was an activity he¡¯d actively hoped to avoid. Miriam was proving elusive, to the extent that even the trapper he¡¯d raised to find her had yet to offer him any news. All he knew with any certainty was that she hadn¡¯t left the vicinity. Or died. At least until he found her. ¡°Of course,¡± he said calmly. ¡°I¡¯m certain Miriam would be delighted to meet you. It would be good for her to meet more of her kind. She has, as the rumours suggest, been somewhat reclusive. However, since she also represents me, I can assure you that¨C¡± Bwoooooooooomph! Suddenly, every vampire present reached out to hold onto the table as the crypt itself shook. A smattering of dust fell from the ceiling, caking shoulders and thoroughly embarrassing a vampire in the midst of what was very much an informal but also formal interview regarding his rise to the Nocturne Court and eventually the entire world order. ¡°Goodness!¡± Mistress Katarine¡¯s scarlet eyes widened. ¡°Master Harkus, what is that abominable racket? Are you renovating the manor or demolishing it?¡± He barely had time to offer an excuse. In that moment, one of the brigands he¡¯d dominated awkwardly came down the steps. With his eyes hazy and less than half of his faculties working, he didn¡¯t even have the wits to wear the look of terror he should rightfully be wearing for being in the presence of three master vampires. ¡°My lord. There are guests. I¡¯ve been told that you¡¯d want to know this.¡± Master Harkus¡¯s mouth widened. ¡°Guests? ¡­ What guests? Is it more of my kind?¡± S§×ar?h the nov§×lF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. ¡°I don¡¯t understand, my lord.¡± ¡°Is it more vampires,¡± he said, aggrieved. ¡°I don¡¯t know, my lord.¡± Master Harkus looked at his two peers. Both of them offered unknowing shakes of their heads. Neither seemed impressed. He didn¡¯t blame them. His barrier was one which not even the greatest of mages should be able to easily avoid. ¡°Well, what are they doing? ¡­ What is that awful noise I¡¯m hearing?¡± The brigand paused, requiring every morsel of his wits to piece together a reply. ¡°They¡¯re throwing furniture.¡± Chapter 368: A Tolling For The Lost ¡°Hmm.¡± sea??h th§× N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. I carefully studied the flower vase presented for my inspection. Barren and tasteless. Just like the withered daffodil within. With one leg crossed over the other, I sat upon the edge of a dining table while counting the sheer number of scratches that made up the pottery. Mostly because of the curious sheen which flattered the vase, courtesy of a twilight sky. Shorn of a roof, the first stars twinkled overhead, their light rubbing elbows against a brush of lavender as evening faded towards night. It was a sight gentle enough for me to almost forgive the workmanship before me. Almost. ¡°Unsalvageable,¡± I declared with a flick of my wrist. ¡°Next in the queue.¡± Before me, the hoodlum holding the flower vase winced as Coppelia reached out for the vase. A moment later¨C ¡°[Coppelia Throw]~!¡± The flower vase vanished into the horizon, easily sent through a window now considerably widened owing to the number of chairs which had enlarged it. And ¡­ ah, what did I have here? Yet another chair. ¡°Hmm ¡­¡± I leaned in to study it. This one was new. An berg¨¨re chair upholstered with a cushion, carefully patterned with shapes indistinguishable from the stains of a tavern floor. Likely because that¡¯s where it¡¯d been stolen from. I gave it a nod. And then flicked my wrist. ¡°Unsalvageable. Next in the queue.¡± ¡°[Coppelia Throw]~!¡± With a gulp, the next hoodlum stepped up, this time with a small cabinet. My judgement was immediate. Whichever barn it¡¯d been stolen from, it¡¯d either been home to a flock of highly peckish hens. Or a queue of hoodlums whose nails nervously tapped at whichever furniture they were holding while waiting for their turn, their faces creased in different stages of muscle pain as they held the various bits of tableware, ornaments and furnishings to their chests. More than once, a back or a knee audibly creaked along with a groan. And for good reason. Nobody deserved to be forced to decorate with such a poor catalogue available. Whether it was mismatching colours, unvarnished surfaces or simply things with holes in them, what I saw was an unending lack of standards more galling than the worst priceless brooch any baroness at my mandatory tea parties could spend their entire family fortune purchasing for me. In fact ¡­ there was only one joy to be seen. ¡°[Coppelia Throw]~!¡± Yes. A certain clockwork doll¡¯s expression as she merrily tossed furniture into the designated pile off into the distance¨Cthe exact location to be determined by the hoodlums who will gather them up. I expected them to work with the same diligence as my loyal handmaiden. After all, they were currently here for the same purpose we were. Desperately needed renovations. Ohohohohoho! Indeed, a vampire¡¯s lair was more than just a place of darkness! It was an abode shamelessly raised from the stolen wealth of whichever kingdom it blighted. And while few vampires dared to claim the mantle of royalty while wandering princesses were there to deny it, this still didn¡¯t preclude them from living out their fantasies. As such, their lairs were as famous as the cursed treasures they contained. Darkened castles rich with heritage, blood soaked carpets and unsmiling portraits. Parapets and towers illuminated amidst the fog by a shriek of lightning. A visage of bleak walls and despair, broken only by orange windows aglow like laughing pumpkins, inviting the foolish and the weak into the waiting maw beyond. This recently burned down barn ¡­ absolutely wasn¡¯t that. But that didn¡¯t mean it couldn¡¯t be. Especially with such enthusiastic help. ¡°Oooooh~!¡± Coppelia raised a hand to her brows, peering into the distance. ¡°That cabinet was a new record. Not in distance. But in feeling. I could taste the crunch from here!¡± With a nod, she turned to the queue and went to her tip-toes. As she began to point, hoodlums began to recede in height. ¡°Alrighty! You over there! The one trying your best to hide! Congrats! You get to jump the queue!¡± Immediately, hoodlums began to edge away from a colleague holding another small cabinet to his chest. His shoulders dropped momentarily, his scarred face a mosaic of regret before he waddled his way towards us without rest. He gave a small groan as he presented his burden. This time, I wore a smile of delight. Indeed ¡­ for Coppelia to order around hapless minions was a sign of her progression! As the handmaiden to a princess, she was no mere servant. She was also my voice. And also my arm. ¡°[Coppelia Throw]~!¡± I nodded with pride as the renovations smoothly progressed. And although every hoodlum shuddered with anticipation at their furniture being judged by a princess, all would have their turn. After all, the vampire squatter had chosen this forest for a reason. Here was the exact part of my kingdom which a creature of darkness had deemed optimal for building his own hovel. A corner judged by a master lout to be worthy of the lowest living standards. And that meant ¡­ an opportunity! Ohohohoho! Indeed! While lesser princesses would tremble and never think of it again, I was nothing if not a beacon of enterprise¨Cand I knew that so long as my kingdom was as fair as my skin, malcontents would continue finding their way here to nibble at it. Thus ¡­ instead of constantly seeking them out, I¡¯d simply lure them here instead! Yes, rather than merely tear down this hovel and close my eyes, I¡¯d instead replace it with every delinquent''s dream! ¡­ A seemingly abandoned fortress! Somehow forgotten by every map, civil servant and farmer I¡¯d build a monument to a once proud miscreant now fallen into disrepair. An immaculately crafted replica of vanity complete with creaking towers, overgrown vines and broken statues, fit to be inhabited by every schemer who wished to imperil my kingdom ¡­ and oh my, what would they find as soon as they stepped on the welcoming mat? Indeed, a trap door leading directly into an inescapable dungeon! Ohohohohohohohohoohoo!! Why ¡­ it was so simple! The very idea only a princess whose mind was unburdened by thoughts of both cost and practicality could make a reality! Instead of wasting time and resources on an actual fortress to ward away future hoodlums, I¡¯d instead lure them into 99 floors of bespoke traps borrowed directly from the tunnels beneath the Royal Villa! Frankly, it was a shock why nobody had considered this sooner. Given how swiftly caves and ruins were occupied by troublemakers, to offer a modest fortress would be like drawing moths to an open flame ¡­ and the very first to sample this work-in-progress could be the very one who helped identify this promising new site. Flutterflutterflutterflutterflutter. The very moment the brush of lavender dipped from the horizon, it was replaced by the sight of darkness. Not from the night sky. But the shadow of a thousand bats. They burst forth from a balcony overlooking the dining chamber with neither warning nor fanfare. A veritable stream of shadow which swiftly became a tarp over our heads, before suddenly converging together into a pulsating ball at the front of the queue. A moment later¨C ¡°Put. Down. The. Plates.¡± There he was. A vampire in the guise of a man whose face was both aged and remarkably smooth. And yet despite the fangs which peeked from his grimace, the first thing I noticed was his posture. Chin high. Back straight. One hand upon his waist, elbow up as though to hold up a cloak, while the other grasped at an invisible sword by his side. The very picture of nobility. Literally so. This was the standing portrait pose. And yet even without his vampiric features, I could have picked him out amongst an entire soir¨¦e. After all¨C Everybody would be openly jeering him. Ohohohohoho! A court tunic which had gone out of style several decades ago! Ashen white hair elaborately curled in the manner of retired admirals hoping to hide a balding patch with a powdered wig! Breeches so tight that they functioned only to funnel blood away from his legs! Why, he was practically a caricature fit for the stage! ¡°Ah ¡­ Ah ¡­. Aaahhhhhh!¡± Little wonder, then, that against this fashion criminal, all the nearby ruffians could do was flee. Finding some inner instinct which no vampire¡¯s magic could mute, ornaments and furniture were dropped on the spot, appropriately smashing into easily sweepable pieces as they left to busy themselves with collecting the already thrown bits and pieces outside. The vampire didn¡¯t seem to care. His gaze was set wholly on the tableware in Coppelia¡¯s hands. ¡°Those are my favourite plates,¡± he said, his crimson eyes narrowing. ¡°Put them down.¡± Coppelia blinked. Then she looked at me. I looked at the plates in question. White ceramic. Beautifully painted. Blue floral motifs. ¡­ But also not porcelain. Thus, I offered her a nod. And also a flick of my wrist. ¡°[Coppelia Throw]~!¡± The vampire watched silently as a stack of stoneware plates were tossed through the window and towards the nether, joining several other piles of similarly discarded plates. He then wrinkled his nose, beat away a cloak which didn¡¯t exist and gestured flamboyantly towards everything and everyone. I was in full agreement. It all needed to go. ¡°That was ill-advised,¡± he said, his every syllable stretched like a worm wriggling to escape. ¡°But perhaps I¡¯ve none but myself to blame, rare as it is for me to admit fault. It appears I was mistaken. The one benefit I saw of my manor being engulfed in flames proved untrue. I see rodents are still present.¡± I blinked in surprise. ¡°Hm. How curious. It seems I was mistaken too. I was under the impression that vampires couldn¡¯t see their reflection. Yet it seems you must have caught yourself in a mirror.¡± The vampire slowly raised a brow. ¡°Ah. Such nostalgia. It¡¯s been countless centuries since I was last insulted by a mortal girl. Particularly before I even began to hint at how thoroughly irritated I am. I almost forgot to be surprised.¡± ¡°Well, you clearly forgot how to offer an appropriate welcome as well. Why, the only carpet I see laid out before me is the black scorch mark on the floor.¡± ¡°If you¡¯d prefer, I can have it replaced. I¡¯m certain the ashes of random girls wandering into a vampire¡¯s abode will do just fine. But I suppose you know that, given that nobody would dare pass through my barrier without reason. So tell me¨Care you the latest heroine ordained to slay me?¡± My mouth widened in horror. ¡°How dare you. That is an outrageous accusation.¡± ¡°... What?¡± ¡°I am a princess. Not a heroine. There is a vast difference. Furthermore, know that the reason you don¡¯t face the latter is because of my exceptional good will! Had you been confronted by a certain farm girl, not only would you have been fated to turn to dust, but you¡¯d also be eternally remembered as the failed vampire who officially sealed her rise. That is humiliating.¡± The vampire¡¯s eyes narrowed further. His hand almost seemed to flinch from his waist, but he did nothing else. ¡°A princess,¡± he said, making utterly no notion of bowing or immediately walking into a stake as decorum demanded. ¡°How quaint. I¡¯ve known more than I can count, so you must accept my apologies ¡­ Your Highness. But as much as I¡¯d normally relish the opportunity to enjoy my fill of royal blood, I happen to be exceptionally busy right now.¡± ¡°A scandalous notion. Nothing can possibly be more important than draining my blood.¡± ¡°On a normal night, perhaps so. But you happen to have interrupted me during something very sensitive. I¡¯m on the cusp of ascending to the Nocturne Court.¡± I gasped. ¡°My, why didn¡¯t you say so! I do apologise! ¡­ Had I known you were at threat of being recognised as a greater rodent, I would have come to avert your embarrassment earlier!¡± ¡°There¡¯s nothing to be embarrassed about, Princess. The Nocturne Court is the governing power of all vampires. To be raised amongst its ranks is the highest aspiration of my kind. And this means that for once, I do not have the time to indulge in idle chatter.¡± ¡°I agree. You¡¯ve other matters of importance to attend to. Beginning with tidying. There¡¯s an endless amount you can assist with. You needn¡¯t be picky. Everything needs to go.¡± The vampire raised his fingertip. ¡°In that case¨Callow me to assist.¡± Suddenly, a strand of blood seeped out from beneath his nail like a weave of magic. Blood magic. ¡°I am Master Harkus of Revarin,¡± he added after the briefest pause, introducing himself as the minimum of courtesy demanded. ¡°Now, please excuse me for my brusqueness. But I¡¯m going to murder you now.¡± I held out my palm. ¡°Wait.¡± ¡°There¡¯s nothing to wait for. We are done.¡± ¡°Indeed we are. But I believe you¡¯ve still unfinished business elsewhere.¡± The vampire looked at me in unabashed suspicion. ¡°Nnngh ¡­¡± A moment later¨Cit became a look of utmost exasperation as he turned his gaze downwards. There, crawling out from beneath the dining table was a maiden in pink pyjamas. She looked up, yawned and rubbed her eyes. ¡°That ¡­ was the worst 5 minute nap I ever experienced.¡± The master vampire recoiled as though struck by a glass of holy water. In an instant, all traces of his faux noble demeanour vanished, replaced by the same look of horror as everyone to glance at his cutlery set. All unburnished brass. That¡¯d been the first to go. ¡°Miriam! What are you ¡­ why are ¡­ were you just napping on my floor?!¡± My librarian blinked several times. She gave another yawn, then nodded. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Why?! That is unacceptable! We have an image to maintain! I have already informed you of this! You cannot nap beneath a table like the vagrant mortals I¡¯ve dominated! I did not turn you into a vampire so that you could embarrass us ¡­ embarrass me in such a shameless fashion!¡± Miriam shrugged, all the while her counterpart swept his gaze around him like a panicked gazelle. ¡°I was tired,¡± she explained. ¡°The table was also the only source of shelter against the sunlight.¡± ¡°Well, I hope you¡¯re well rested! You¡¯ve much to explain, beginning with why you continually insist on disappointing me! ¡­ The floor, Miriam? Of all places?¡± ¡°The countess may nap wherever she pleases,¡± I duly informed him. ¡°That is the right of all maidens. Should she choose to attempt to find sleep beneath a table, then you should consider it an honour that this hovel scarcely deserves.¡± The master rodent grimaced once more, one step away from a hiss. ¡°Listen to me, Miriam,¡± he said, his crimson eyes glowing as he struggled to peer down without bending his back. ¡°You need to fix your appearance immediately. This is of paramount importance.¡± ¡°Hm? Why should I?¡± ¡°Because ¡­ I am currently being assessed.¡± ¡°Oh, okay.¡± ¡°Okay?¡± The man raised his hands in grief. ¡°Is that it? Is that the language worthy of our ancient bearing?¡± ¡°Yes. After all, I¡¯m also here as a distraction.¡± The vampire stared in utter incomprehension. He blinked at Miriam. And then at me. A moment later¨C ¡°[Moonlit Sickle].¡± Shhhhunk. He also blinked at a smiling Coppelia ¡­ courtesy of his head promptly separating from his neck. Unlike a sister blessed with holy powers, his head was very much of the ordinary variety. However ¡­ despite the fact that it was cleanly severed, it failed to thud against the floor. In one respect, this was good. Miriam was also on the floor. Nobody deserved to see such an unnaturally shiny face from up close. Her next nap would be awful. And yet it was also less than ideal. Because instead of the vampire¡¯s head now being punted to the horizon, it remained suspended beside him, held aloft by a strand of blood like a string to a cup. The vampire, his face upside-down, wrinkled his nose. And then¨C His hand clasped into a fist seeping with blood. ¡°[Exsanguinating Grasp].¡± Chapter 369: Ice And Blood A metallic scent filled the air. For a moment, the blood ran thick from the vampire¡¯s hand as though squeezing a blade. But much like his head, the droplets failed to find the floor. They spread outwards instead. A viscous stream of ribbons caught in an invisible gale, before assuming the twisted visage of a great claw ready to snap to a close. A heartbeat later¨C ¡°Hieee?!¡± All I saw was a rush of crimson crushing the air overhead. A pair of hands tugged my ankles from underneath and promptly slid me off the dining table. The landing was the least delicate thing I¡¯d experienced since the last time Coppelia had nudged my waist with her large key in the middle of the night. Which was far too often. However, the lap I found the back of my head on was rather comfortable. I was surprised. I expected little of common pyjamas. But my librarian had chosen her formalwear for a reason. Firstly to earn the indignation of her fellow nobility as they realised that only she as a countess of a past fashion cycle had an excuse to wear it. And secondly to ensure my eyes were allowed a brief respite from needing to look at a far more unworthy vampire. Fortunately, she wasn¡¯t the only diligent member of my personal entourage. And so I raised my gaze to see Coppelia hard at work on ensuring that the brief respite became something more permanent. Her graceful form twirled like a ballerina in the air. Nimbly avoiding the vampire¡¯s magic, all she had for him was an intrigued smile. And also the scythe raised above her shoulder. ¡°Ooooh~ that¡¯s a new one! Show me again!¡± Yes. Far from feeling dismayed over her failure to poke a vampire¡¯s head while it rolled across the floor, it simply allowed her the opportunity to try again. And between a vampire¡¯s reservoir of blood and Coppelia¡¯s well of enthusiasm, only one would deplete first. Her golden, fluffy hair lifted to reveal the rare sight of her forehead as she dived. Shadows trailed behind the glimmering blade of her scythe. And then only her enthusiasm could be seen as she plummeted past the tightened claw and swept out her weapon, ready to finalise the almost headless state of her opponent. ¡­ At least until a pinky shot out. Pooomph! With a single flick, the conjured claw sent Coppelia through the same window we¡¯d tossed all the unwanted furniture. An added hole in the shape of her ankles and rosy pink shoes now completed the wall around it. I was horrified. ¡°H-How dare you!¡± I said, sitting up from my librarian¡¯s lap. ¡°Coppelia is not to be discarded! Unlike your dining chairs, she is the picture of colour coordination! ¡­ I demand that you retrieve her at once!¡± The vampire narrowed his crimson eyes at me. The ones still upside-down. He waved his wrist and the summoned claw of blood vanished. I hardly saw why. It¡¯d be useful while he was gathering together everything else out there. ¡°I wish to offer my most sincere apologies,¡± he said, failing to embolden his lie by grovelling with his detached head. Instead, the strands of blood reattached it to his neck. ¡°I¡¯ve had a moment of reflection. It took my head being severed to realise my rudeness.¡± ¡°Well, I shall offer your head as many epiphanies as you like! To send Coppelia through a window is appalling! This isn¡¯t Ouzelia where a cart of hay is waiting to catch her! ¡­ What if she lands in a puddle?¡± ¡°Then I suppose I¡¯d simply need to offer more apologies. I mistook the clockwork doll for a mosquito. As a vampire, I¡¯ve a somewhat low tolerance for other things sucking my blood.¡± ¡°In that case, I suggest you apologise to the mosquitoes as well! No insect deserves to taste your lack of manners¨Cwhy, that is a foulness which seeps into every bite!¡± The vampire wrinkled his nose. ¡°Indeed. Here I was, concerned about my image. And yet what poor impression do I make if I dismiss my guests by murdering them as though they were postmen arriving after midday? No, I shall do it slowly instead. My congratulations. You have earned a lifetime of excruciating pain.¡± Ugh. I couldn¡¯t roll my eyes far enough. It wasn¡¯t just his attire. Even his threats came from a wardrobe so old even the dust had wrinkles. ¡°Please. I¡¯m a princess. My life is pain.¡± A pause met my words. ¡°Girl. I understand you¡¯ve little genuine wish to entertain any words I as a being of concentrated nefariousness has to say. But that statement is objectively incorrect.¡± ¡°Only because you¡¯re not a princess. After all, only one who understands the joy of a pillow catapult knows the pain of losing it. That means I need to occasionally wander outside to do away with any layabouts who threaten to undo my sister¡¯s finest invention.¡± The vampire frowned, having never experienced true convenience on demand before. ¡°I am not a layabout,¡± he declared, wriggling slightly in lieu of actually being able to straighten his back more. ¡°Do you have any notion of how eternally busy I am? I¡¯m a vampire. This means that for every calamity which has ever occurred, I have been involved in.¡± ¡°Yes, I imagine that every child to have ever tripped over a carefully placed stick on the ground stood no chance. The schemes you¡¯ve spent centuries devising are truly devastating.¡± A hint of a fang showed as a fresh grimace presented itself. ¡°I do not place sticks on the ground, girl. I erase the ground. Entire kingdoms have been reduced to nothing but a blackened crater and mournful whispers in the wind.¡± ¡°My, is that so? Then I owe you an apology. Clearly, your attire and lack of class has been causing depopulation wherever you go. Is this why you chose a forest for your hovel? Only man eating fire beetles and ruffians to judge you?¡± ¡°There is nothing to judge. Least of all my well-tailored attire.¡± ¡°No. Least of all is your furniture. That weeps the loudest. I must commend you on the unified attack against my eyes. To wear breeches indistinguishable from ballet tights while also boasting cabinets chiselled by termites is a crafty thing.¡± ¡°Everything I own is chosen based on centuries of experience!¡± The vampire had the nerve to look legitimately indignant. I responded as etiquette demanded. With a hand barely covering my smile. ¡°Ohohohoho! ¡­ Experience in what, exactly? Being relentlessly mocked? Why, it¡¯s little wonder why you choose to hide in the shadows! People can only see your fangs and not your lack of good taste!¡± My beautiful laughter echoed in the surrounding woodlands. Somewhere, a barn owl took to the sky, having now heard the highlight of this exchange. It certainly wasn¡¯t the vampire¡¯s tongue clicking. ¡°Not that this matters ¡­ but I have recently awoken after successfully bringing down an empire. And this manor is distinctly not where I wanted to be. Everything that you see from my garments to the wardrobe which holds it was gathered together at very short notice.¡± ¡°Please. Lacking organisational skills is hardly an excuse. If I can wake up and find my bathtub prepared, clothes arranged and a line of servants hurrying away with sweat dripping down their brows, then so can a vampire.¡± ¡°I have many skills, Princess. All of them enough to ensure you to never enjoy a night¡¯s peaceful slumber again. But I cannot conjure good servants.¡± ¡°Why not? You have wings, time and magic. How is it possible that you lack the funds necessary to hire or coerce those without any standards whatsoever? Are you that tragic of a schemer?¡± ¡°I am an excellent schemer,¡± declared the vampire with a jab of his finger. ¡°It is my very occupation. My unlife¡¯s calling. And I do not need to cite my wildly long list of achievements merely to satisfy my dignity against the churlish insults of a girl who doesn¡¯t realise the fate which now awaits her.¡± Sear?h the N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. He paused. ¡°Unless you wish¨C¡± ¡°I do not, no.¡± ¡°Fine.¡± The vampire wrinkled his nose. ¡°Have it your way, then. It matters not. You may witness an example of my work first-hand. That will be your first inkling of the aforementioned pain.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve witnessed more than enough. While your demeanour is lacking, your sense for mischief is not. Because of you, my farmers are absent from the fields they should be tending to even though nothing more needs to be done but let them grow.¡± A look of puzzlement came across the vampire. ¡°... Who?¡± ¡°My farmers.¡± I pointed to the side. ¡°The peasants you¡¯ve deliberately roiled.¡± ¡°Yes? What about them?¡± ¡°What do you mean ¡­ what about them? They should be preparing for the summer harvest. They¡¯re now instead protesting, drunk or drunkenly protesting on account of your actions.¡± The vampire simply stared. After a moment, he scratched his chin. ¡°... Are they now? How useful. Perhaps I can use that.¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± My mouth widened in horror. ¡°Are you suggesting you didn¡¯t know that my peasants are practically one step away from raising their pitchforks in the wrong direction?¡± ¡°Quite so. I had no idea whatsoever. This is a delightful surprise. Your subjects must already be deeply unsatisfied with your family¡¯s rule if they¡¯re protesting just because I¡¯ve ordered a few groups of brigands to hound them slightly more than usual.¡± I gasped. ¡°How dare you! Their joy is as golden as the wheat which laps at their sweat! The only reason for their complaints is that you¡¯re preventing them from seeing their efforts rewarded!¡± ¡°I see. Then my desire to see your kingdom turned into even more of an indistinguishable ruin has been blessed with a head start. Once I get around to it.¡± I placed my hand to my ear. ¡°... Come again?¡± ¡°My scheme hasn¡¯t actually begun, you see.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t understand. What have you possibly been doing if not scheming?¡± The vampire gave a short chuckle. The lines on his face barely creased. ¡°Girl. I am a vampire. I do things at my own pace. And as irrelevant as your kingdom is, even the smallest course comes with an appetiser. This is merely a bonus stage before I envelop every window under the glare of a blood moon. I¡¯m embellishing one of my characters.¡± ¡°Your characters.¡± ¡°The Pale Knight, to be exact. One of my less known aliases. I created him on a whim. It¡¯s been several centuries since I last did anything with him, but I feel there¡¯s opportunity for something unique. First, however, I need to raise his profile. Gruesomely slaying a few hundred knights after honour compels them to each foolishly duel me one at a time will do for a start.¡± I could only stare in horror. A sight which made the vampire almost assume a genuine smile. Indeed ¡­ for what he said was beyond my wildest fears. Few things were more appalling than inciting my peasants into a budding rebellion. But this was one of them. I could scarcely believe it. Why ¡­ I¡¯d come all this way, bereft of cake, sweets and cr¨ºpes ¡­ for a vampire who was so beyond hopeless that the closest he achieved to success was by sheer accident! Not only had he inconvenienced me ¡­ but he hadn¡¯t even the politeness to do it with feeling! The absolute nerve of this scoundrel! ¡°Yes, Your Highness,¡± he said, his lips curling into a faint smirk. ¡°It is as you fear. The gallant souls who have come to defeat this imposter of a knight will find only their dooms. All of your kingdom¡¯s finest warriors will spend themselves against me, never knowing that against a master vampire, their steel is as useful as the rolls of parchment I¡¯ve sent out declaring my presence.¡± I offered a nod, seeing that enough was enough. As a schemer, this vampire was an abject failure. But when it came to leeching all thoughts of basic decorum, he was exemplary. ¡°Very well. It seems I was vastly mistaken about your competency. Something I didn¡¯t believe was possible. In that case, I shall assist you with raising your profile by personally adding my voice.¡± ¡°Oh? And what will you say?¡± ¡°That depends on you. There¡¯s a number of choices available. Walk into a stake, hurl yourself into a cathedral or wait for me to finish building my 99 floor dungeon so that you may be the first to test it. Whichever you choose, I will embellish your demise to make it even more embarrassing.¡± The smirk faded. ¡°How charming. To remain belligerent as your last coherent words before they become the usual sobbing. Sadly, there is an order to things. Before I can instil in you the meaning of regret, I first need to do it for the young countess. Now, if you wish for the coming experience to be slightly less horrendous, then kindly remove yourself from the lap of my vampire so I can thoroughly chastise her.¡± I glanced behind me. There, wearing an unremitting scowl even as her hands played with my hair, was a librarian whose bearing was higher than any other vampire¨Cregardless of her pink pyjamas or the fact she was sitting underneath a table. ¡°I have heard more than enough from you,¡± she said simply. ¡°So you say. And yet I merely wish to offer my gratitude. I see you¡¯re clearly responsible for bringing this princess to me. Granted, she makes for a poor apology gift. You should have at least bound her mouth. Her candour is highly unappetising. Nevertheless, I¡¯m grateful you¡¯ve returned.¡± Miriam gently nudged me. She shifted forwards. And as my pillow rose, so too did I. ¡°My return is brief. As is yours. Although I enjoy reading without eye strain, it was a mistake to allow you to be the one to offer me that benefit. I will not permit others to make that same mistake.¡± The master leech paused. He appraised the sincerity before him. And he could find no fault. ¡°... Is that so? And what will you do, Countess Estroux? Something blasphemous again?¡± ¡°No. Holy magic makes me feel ill.¡± ¡°Of course it does,¡± he snapped, his hand flicking in grief. ¡°What vampire draws holy runes? Not only is it appalling, but it¡¯s also utterly ineffectual. If that¡¯s all you wish to achieve, then why not waste your regular magic upon me?¡± ¡°Because I need to wait first.¡± ¡°Wait? Wait for¨C¡± ¡°[Moonlit Flutter].¡± Blinking into existence, Coppelia appeared behind the vampire with her scythe already in motion. Now several leaves in her hair from whatever tree she¡¯d landed in, she wore a zany smile as the silver edge of her weapon swept unerringly towards the neck once more. It found only a whip of blood drawn from a fingertip, immediately lashing out to entangle itself like vines upon the sweeping scythe. He¡¯d reacted even before he could turn to look. When he did, it was with a snort. ¡°Did you truly think I would fall for that again?¡± Coppelia¡¯s smile only brightened. It was enough to give the vampire pause. After all, even if the shadows enshrouding her weapon managed to dim the stars, they failed to hide her enthusiasm. ¡°Yep,¡± she answered. A moment later¨C ¡°[Flash Freeze].¡± Miriam¡¯s hands flared with an icy sheen. The blood creeping across the scythe froze. And the eyes of a rodent widened as though caught sneaking out from its own hole. Especially as Coppelia wrenched her weapon away. ¡°Alrighty! Time to see where you keep all the blood~¡± She swung once again. But this time, it wasn¡¯t a whip of blood which met her guillotining effort. ¡°[Sanguine Dianthus].¡± It was a crimson flower as wide as a shield. Her scythe was practically absorbed into the petals. Yet any hope of anchoring the blade in place was promptly erased when the blood stilled once again, the crimson flower turning crystalline as a layer of frost took hold of it. ¡°[Flash Freeze].¡± Then, all that could be seen was a slight quivering as Coppelia¡¯s hands gripped the handle of her scythe. The vampire frowned at the sight. And then doubly so at the crack which appeared. The magic faltered¨Cjust before shattering. Broken beneath the weight of ice and strength, Coppelia¡¯s scythe drove itself towards a vampire whose dreams of a better hovel faded along with a spiteful hiss as he shifted into ethereal mist. He hovered for a moment. A thing worth less an odour before he reappeared on the balcony overlooking the former dining chamber. The expression he wore was of utter distaste. In short ¡­ the exact opposite of mine! Indeed, for as I looked upon my loyal handmaiden readying her scythe and my loyal librarian preparing her magic, I was overcome with emotion! My hands covered my mouth at the sight of my retainers working in tandem for the simple task of litter removal. And I knew I could not sit idly back and do nothing. ¡°Ohohohohohoho!! Onwards, Coppelia! Go forth, Countess Miriam! You have my blessing! Use any underhanded methods that you desire! Remember¨Ceverything is chivalrous in defence of a princess!¡± ¡°Got it! Perfectly legal attack, here we go~!¡± Coppelia beamed as she leapt to meet the grimacing vampire. She never made it. Fwooooosh. Instead, a virulent barrier of blood erected itself around the vampire¡¯s form, steeped with so much malevolence that its very aura did more than the magic itself. Coppelia was physically thrust backwards by an invisible wave, twirling as she went. The blood lashed like a boiling puddle. And this time, no frost could still it. However¨C Even if nothing could be seen of the vampire hiding within, that didn¡¯t stop a pair of blackened wings from bursting out from the sides like a creature freeing itself from a cocoon. As the cracks began to form, a single word was uttered towards us. ¡°Disappointing.¡± Chapter 370: Dusk To Dawn For as long as there have been whispers, there have also been vampires. As the original harbingers of doom just before a certain receptionist had claimed the title, they were to kingdoms what caterpillars were to my orchard. It mattered little whether they came alone or as a squirming colony. Just a single one was enough. And then all that was green became withered. More insatiable than Coppelia and Apple combined, their appetites for destruction knew no bounds. They were masters of both shadow and death. Because what liches and hedgehogs could only achieve through tearing out their own soul, vampires accomplished by cursing theirs. I understood little about the forbidden magic involved. But all knew the promises garnered in return. After all¨Cthey were the ones who espoused them. Unbound strength. Flight. Blood magic. Immortality. But most of all, the ability to dismiss all thoughts of empathy. They were the rulers of the night. The crimson plague upon cities. The rumour which even the darkness feared. And yet despite all that had ever been murmured about them in tavern corners, the truth was that every word was an understatement. Because right now¨C Fwoooooooosh. I could only step back and gasp, hands covering my mouth as I viewed the figure sweeping into the air. A true vampire unmasked. Gone was the impression of a man who dreamed of scheming in the sewers of my royal capital. Now, even the least of my nobility would at least offer a cough before opting to work with him. A great pair of wings stretched out from his back, lifting him to where a ceiling once lay. Tinged with the hue of hellfire, it bore closer resemblance to the wings of a horned devil than any bat. No longer beholden to thoughts of subtlety, his lips stretched into the impression of a smirk. What was revealed were fangs as sharp as the new ridges of his cheeks and brows. His judging eyes burned with unholy flames. And white hair fell like a ghostly veil all the way past his waist. Then, he raised a hand. Droplets of blood rushed towards him, dancing around his wrist like petals caught in a breeze before forming the shape of a rose. He crushed it, the blood dribbling to the floor and smouldering through both the wooden panels and the earth beneath it. He was more gaunt now. More monstrous. More prideful. But most of all ¡­ he was wearing an entirely new outfit. Yes. He¡¯d taken my criticisms to heart. Gone was the overly fitting garb of before. Now he wore a dull surcoat long enough to hide whatever travesty was still underneath, legwear which was almost not wildly inappropriate and slippers which looked like they¡¯d only been stolen from a sleeping orphan. I could only feel myself reeling backwards, stunned at this unspoken power. Why, he could change his attire on demand! What ¡­ What a wonderful skill!! Why didn¡¯t I have that?! Changing anything I wore was a marathon affair as servants took turns on account of the sweat dribbling upon their fingertips! I had no wish to be a vampire, true ¡­ but if I could at least learn this skill, the hassle saved would make this entire affair all worth it! ¡°How very disappointing,¡± said the vampire, the unnaturalness of his smirk threatening to shear the skin off his cheeks. ¡°So much so, that I can only find amusement in this.¡± His wings raised him a few inches higher, framing him against the ever darkening sky. Despite his sneer aimed towards us, there was no doubting where his gaze was centred. ¡°You managed to impress me, Miriam, if only for a moment. To stand tall made me feel an emotion akin to a father¡¯s pride. And so I experience the same grief to see that relying on others is the extent of your powers. Truly, did you think that freezing my magic was enough? If I wished to, I could make my blood boil so hot that you would be scalded just for trying. But I¡¯ve no desire to harm you. After all, you are my responsibility. And so I shall take it upon myself to offer the tuition you sorely need instead ¡­ beginning by impressing upon you the true meaning of being a vampire. I believe these example subjects will do just fine. This will be a rare lesson. But then again, I do not often have an audience I deem worthy of wordswordswordswords ¡­¡± As the vampire exceeded his allotted speech time, I turned to my librarian. ¡°Can you do that?¡± I asked, pointing in all curiousness. She blinked at me. ¡°Do you mean gloat?¡± ¡°No, I mean change your wardrobe.¡± I paused. ¡°But can you gloat ¡­ ?¡± ¡°Only in great need. And not very well. I¡¯m not naturally predisposed towards it.¡± ¡°Is that so? Well, no need to worry¨Cthat can easily be fixed! But what about the sudden change of attire? Is it a technique? Magic? Learnable?¡± ¡°Um ¡­ I¡¯m not too certain. It seems to be part of Master Harkus¡¯s awakening into his higher vampiric form. It¡¯s possible I could do it, but it would doubtless require a substantial amount of blood. That would be the same for anyone hoping to learn it.¡± I let out a small groan. Of all the things I could ring my servant¡¯s bell to have delivered to me, blood wasn¡¯t one of them. Within moments, I¡¯d have nobility attempting to scheme with me instead of against me. Especially if they believed I would entertain monologues so long-winded they looped back to the beginning. Sear?h the n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. ¡°¨CI am Master Harkus of Revarin. Scion of Darkness. He of a Hundred Names, yet known for a thousand calamities. I have spread my legend from the sands to the snows. I am the Sovereign of the Eternal Night. The Herald of Schemes. Bringer of the Black Dawn. A team player. Highly attentive to detail and also open to further progression. And what you shall witness now is only a ¡­ a ¡­¡± The vampire paused at my raised palm. ¡°Yes?¡± he said, his burning eyes narrowing with impatience. ¡°Excuse me, but where do you keep the building material?¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°I have plans to turn this site into a 99 floor dungeon. I¡¯ve already made a head start, but I¡¯d like to do more while I¡¯m here. If you have any bricks that you¡¯d reserved for use in repairing the damage from Countess Miriam¡¯s fire, then I would deeply appreciate knowing where.¡± The vampire stared at me. ¡°I am about to make a fantastical display of unnecessary violence. And you¡¯re asking me about bricks?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°I see ¡­ are you perhaps deliberately attempting to earn my ire? Or is this simply how you choose to conduct sobbing and huddling when seeing a higher vampire you should be very concerned about?¡± I raised a hand to my lips, barely covering my smile. ¡°Ohhohohoho ¡­ a higher vampire? How cute.¡± A mouth widened in outrage. I held up my palm once more. I wasn¡¯t done. ¡°I¡¯m afraid all I see is a leech which has managed to sprout wings. And while that¡¯s undoubtedly the finest achievement you¡¯ll ever know, it also means you¡¯ve failed to grow the requisite scales, extra limbs, tail or stomach capable of igniting flames needed in order to earn a fragment of my concern.¡± His arms flayed outwards, blood petals sweeping into the distance. ¡°Do you think my fangs are a prop, girl? I am death itself¨Cas I shall gladly demonstrate for both yours and Miriam¡¯s much needed education. My congratulations for accelerating my itinerary. I only hope to salvage a smidgeon of entertainment before I vacate this featureless wasteland.¡± ¡°Then you¡¯re in luck. I¡¯m here to renovate all of said featureless wasteland that you¡¯ve illegally built. And my 99 floor dungeon is hiring. I¡¯ll even allow you to be the first challenge¨Calthough it might prove slightly distressing once you realise that even the common burglars who wander inside prove significantly more witty than yourself.¡± A wrinkled nose was all I received. For a moment, the vampire¡¯s cheeks twitched, torn between defending his pride or accepting my very generous offer to install him as the starter obstacle in my kingdom¡¯s latest infrastructure project. Instead ¡­ he raised his palms above his head. ¡°Then feel free to suggest improvements,¡± he said, his eyes flaring. ¡°[Vermillion Rupture].¡± Immediately, a shrill breeze swept over us, followed by an orb of sickly blood formed between his hands, pulsing like a withered heart. Then ¡­ the evening sky darkened entirely. Like a brush of paint upon a canvas, a sweep of inky midnight appeared behind him. It was broken only by the magic conjured between his palms. A circle of scarlet akin to a blood moon, yet lacking the howls which should have immediately followed it. ¡°... Behold, the night of nights,¡± declared the vampire with casual indifference. ¡°A bit more brusque than my usual methods, but sometimes, a more direct reminder of who I am is needed lest some farmer accidentally names a puppy after me. So do watch carefully. Those in this kingdom will have the opportunity to see this many times. But you will only have the chance once.¡± He let out a quiet chuckle just loud enough for me to hear it. All I had for him was confusion. ¡°¡­ Is that it?¡± ¡°Hm?¡± ¡°Is that the spell you intend to use? A ball of blood magic? What does it do?¡± ¡°Well, it does exactly as you¡¯d imagine. Indiscriminate destruction as I rain death down upon your towns and cities.¡± He gave a shameless smile. I was in utter disbelief. ¡°Did ¡­ Did I hear that right? You¡¯re just going to ¡­ throw balls of magic?¡± ¡°Well, yes.¡± I waited for the explanation. It didn¡¯t come. ¡°... Excuse me?! What happened to you being the Herald of Schemes?!¡± ¡°My apologies, Your Highness. But the Herald of Schemes is reserved exclusively for more suitable locales. If it makes you feel any better, I did earnestly attempt to consider how best I could stretch out the subjugation of your kingdom. However, a piece of dough can only go so far and trying too hard will only make me look bad. Thus, I will do the next best thing to raise my reputation. Simple, wholesale destruction. No conniving. No manoeuvring in the shadows. Just blood magic in a large ball, repeated as needed. Other than your personal suffering, the demise of your kingdom will be swift and utterly without fanfare.¡± I was aghast. Why, this unrepentant hoodlum! He called himself a vampire! And yet he didn¡¯t even have the courtesy to spend centuries plotting just to come up with something at the level of sticking his ankle out when a rival was skipping past! This wasn¡¯t just a breach of etiquette! It was pure laziness! ¡°Uwaah~¡± Coppelia nodded fervently. ¡°That¡¯s amazing! He wants to out [Ball Of Doom] you!¡± ¡°C-Coppelia! There is no such thing as a [Ball Of Doom]! ¡­ And if there was, it certainly isn¡¯t that! I will not allow this utter lack of effort to pass!¡± Indeed, it was spellwork so casual that it was akin to a mage throwing fireballs! Yet as effective as that was for burning rooftops, nobody ever called it original! This was a travesty! ¡°What you allow is meaningless,¡± said the vampire, as the utterly ordinary orb of magic only slightly grew between his palms. ¡°Sadly for yourself, there is none amongst your party with the means to overly trouble me. And so I mark the end by saying this has certainly not been a pleasure.¡± Despite his words, his wings flapped to take him higher. ¡­ But not high enough. That was the realm of angels and also things tossed through the window. And while punting a chair was very much an option when dealing with common hoodlums, for this particular one, I had a more bespoke solution in mind. After all¨C This vampire may have no standards. But I very much did. ¡°Very well, then!¡± I said, turning beside me with a nod. ¡°... Coppelia! I require your assistance.¡± ¡°Oooh, oooh!! Got it, I¡¯ll start making a mailbox!~¡± ¡°What? No, I don¡¯t need a mailbox ¡­ yet. Rather, I simply wish to continue conversing with the flying ruffian from an appropriate angle. With my boot of authority peering down at him.¡± ¡°Great! What do you have in mind?¡± ¡°Do you remember the thing with the duck?¡± ¡°Sure do!¡± ¡°Well, it¡¯s now my turn. I need that.¡± Coppelia blinked at me. A thousand questions appeared on her face. None of which she asked. Miriam stared between the two of us. ¡°Excuse me?¡± she asked with a quizzical tilt of her head. ¡°What is the ¡­ thing with the duck?¡± I chose not to answer. It wasn¡¯t necessary. Not when she¡¯d know in approximately 5 seconds. ¡°Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!¡± Coppelia raised her arms in joy ¡­ just before leaning forwards and wrapping them around my waist. ¡°This. Is. Amazing! I never thought you¡¯d let me tick off #37 on the bucket list!¡± I pursed my lips, suddenly feeling a tinge of regret. Not least because any idea which coincided with something on Coppelia¡¯s bucket list was something which maybe, just possibly required a second opinion. ¡°Actually, Coppelia, I¡¯ve decided to¨C¡± ¡°Hup~¡± Without waiting, my loyal handmaiden hopped up to the balcony with me in tow. More surefooted than any dancer in a troupe, she immediately hopped again, jumping upon the remaining walls of the hovel as she made her way up the floors. The fact that this was already enough to make me feel vertigo was something I chose to ignore. Especially since I had no choice regarding what was to come. Nor, indeed, the vampire whose wings weren¡¯t flapping quite hard enough. His eyes widened in genuine bewilderment as Coppelia jumped onto the frame of the nearest chimney, now only a short distance below him. ¡°What ¡­ What are you¨C¡± ¡°Alrighty!¡± Coppelia beamed as she swung her arms. ¡°Here we go! ¡­ [Coppelia Throw]!¡± And just like that, the Emergency Protocol Princess Propeller Device? (Coppelia Edition) was made. ¡°¨CHiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!¡± Without once hesitating, or indeed, querying if this was exactly what I wanted, my loyal handmaiden proceeded to toss me high into the sky. For a moment, all I saw were the eyes of a vampire widening to the size of dinner plates as I took my rightful place as a glowing angel far ¡­ far above him. I admired the differing shades in the sky as I drew Starlight Grace from my side. For while a blanket of night still sought to gather above me, here just beneath the heavens, dusk had yet to disappear over the horizon. The ebbing sun offered a wink. And so I returned it with a smile. ¡°Thank you for allowing me to hire my librarian,¡± I said to the gawping vampire below. ¡°For that, I shall do you the courtesy of reminding you what you have missed in life. So watch the dawn which never falters, scattering the whispering night. Gardening Form, 10th Stance ¡­ [Winter Sunlight Extender]!¡± Raising my sword, I caught the sunlight upon my blade. The vampire reacted at once. It was still too late. ¡°Wait, don¡¯t¨C¡± Angling Starlight Grace, a bright glimmer reflected upon its mirror sheen. And then I began to swish, widening the surface as a pillar of sunlight was promptly sent down upon the vampire desperately seeking to plummet away. All I saw of him was a bursting of flames. ¡°NNNNNNGGGGGGGHHHHRRRRRRHHHHHHH!!!!¡± A joyful scream filled the air as the wonders of sunlight visited the pale skin of the vampire below. Fortunately for him, there was more to come. Both from the sun and the only thing which shone even brighter. My beautiful smile. ¡°Ohohohohohohohoohohohoho!!¡± Here it was! A delicate gardening technique designed for when daylight hours were sparse and even my most hardy snowdrops failed to thrive! By leaning outside the window of my bedroom tower and angling my sword, I could maximise the amount of sunlight my orchard received! And if this was simply to ensure my camellias didn¡¯t lose themselves beneath the harshness of a frigid and overcast morning, I would stop at this. A bout of sunlight in winter like a sprinkle of water in summer, ensuring my flowerbeds knew that even if the weather had forgotten them, I had not. Instead ¡­ I continued to swish my sword, adjusting the length of my makeshift mirror to focus the sunlight as required. ¡°AAARRRRRRAGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!¡± The result was immediate. He twisted and turned as radiant flames engulfed his form. Of his face, nothing could be seen but the silhouette of a widening mouth as remorse filled the air. A moment later, the vampire disappeared entirely. But not only from the sunlight. He separated, becoming innumerable flames as a flock of bats took his place. Each burned with the same fury as his true form, the wings instantly catching ablaze like unsolicited letters from suitors as he desperately sought to escape. He failed. ¡°NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!¡± The vampire¡¯s voice filled the air, despite the lack of any lips to sound them. It wasn¡¯t until the last of the newly wrought fireflies became nothing more than fading embers turning to falling ashes that the cry of concentrated relief ceased. A hiss like water flung upon a charred pan sounded as the night of nights simply became the most splendid evening instead. After all, I was there to brighten it up. Thus¨CI nodded in delight as I watched the last of the dying flames burned themselves out ¡­ first from above, then from eye level, then from below as the crux of the Emergency Protocol Princess Propeller Device? made itself known. I had yet to sprout my wings. ¡°Ohohohoooo¨Cieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!¡± The twilight in the distance faded for the second time this evening. And so as the wind swept up my hair, I immediately sought to defend my dignity, arm covering my exposed forehead and hand clutching onto my skirt as I fell. Fortunately, while my wings had yet to bloom, that didn¡¯t apply to my loyal retainers. Fwup fwup fwup fwup fwup. A pair of arms latched onto me. ¡°Hnnnnghh~¡± With a glance behind my shoulder, I took in the sight of Miriam¡¯s face tightening with effort as the plummeting slowed into a gradual descent. Her little wings fluttered with all their might, aided by whatever magic was causing them to slightly glow. ¡°That ¡­ That was ridiculous,¡± she said, once she adjusted her arms to make sure I wouldn¡¯t slip. ¡°Ohohoho!¡± I raised a hand to my lips ¡­ albeit very slowly so as not to jolt us. ¡°Why, that was simply the sun obeying etiquette! When a princess calls, even the light must answer!¡± I felt Miriam give a small nod. ¡°The light is a scary thing. But for once, I enjoyed the sight of it. Thank you for obliging me once again, Princess Juliette. I am very much grateful.¡± I smiled in response ¡­ all the way until I saw the figure waiting below. A certain clockwork doll rolling upon the ground. And although little should be heard of the rabid cackling amidst the breeze rushing past my ears, her amusement still managed to rise higher than any princess in the sky. Thus, I nodded ¡­ just before pointing elsewhere. ¡°I wish to land there.¡± Chapter 371: A Heroine’s Choice Milly Holworth had a terrible secret. Most people who knew her probably wouldn¡¯t think so. She was a farm girl, through and through. She was even found in the same field where she worked, sowing and harvesting the wheat while occasionally smiling at the little hole Granny claimed was her makeshift cot even though she knew it was probably caused by a badger. Moreover, she didn¡¯t really do anything which allowed her to keep secrets. She was nice, helpful and open. She didn¡¯t hang around with the wrong crowd, wander down the wrong alleys or even butt heads with the wrong fruit slimes. Unless they were after her blackberry bushes, in which case she gently tossed them away. By her own admission, Milly considered herself to be reasonably boring ¡­ normal, even. And that was great! Because in a world where everything had either too many claws or teeth, she liked to imagine that somebody out there appreciated the tiny amount of calm she could add to it. Yes, Milly was utterly ordinary¨Cwith one exception. She suffered from a problem nobody else did. She had a stalker ¡­ and it was a sword. Not a person. But an actual weapon. Shiny, if sort of ordinary. The type of sword seen all the time being haggled over by adventurers and fawned over by children with hopes of becoming said adventurers. Which really didn¡¯t make sense. But she didn¡¯t make the rules. And as far as she knew, nobody else did, either. All she knew was that she couldn''t get away from it. When she was harvesting wheat, it was there. When she was brushing her teeth in the morning, it was there. When she was waking up in bed and rolling to the cooler side of her pillow, it was there, already taking up the side she wanted. It didn¡¯t matter whether she was working, eating or sleeping. That sword was always there. In her field. In her sink. In her bed. Just lying there, bright and new. All except for a little scribble on the blade. Made in Ouzelia. Why a sword from a realm so far away was buried in her field, Milly had no idea. And at first, she hadn¡¯t given it much thought. It was just a slighter weirder than usual object found with all the other weird things people liked tossing in her workplace. And unlike the wheels of carriages she sometimes found and used for a wheelbarrow, she didn¡¯t really have much use for a sword. Thus, she did what any normal girl in her position would do. She stuffed it into a sack and forgot about it. There was a harvest to get ready for and as shiny as it was, it wasn¡¯t better than a sickle for wheat. Except that she didn¡¯t quite forget about it. Because every now and again, she¡¯d suddenly remember about the thing like an errand she had to run. Or rather, an itch she needed to take care of. Except there wasn¡¯t anything she needed scratching using a sword. And so she did the next best thing. She sold it. The blacksmith in Wessin Bridge was happy to have it. And if he melted it down, then all the better. There was no need for Milly to have a sword when her pitchfork could ward away the younger wolves which hadn¡¯t learned to keep away just as well. And so that was the last of it. At least¨Cuntil it showed up on her doorstep the next day. When the blacksmith informed her that someone had pilfered it in the night, that was when Milly started worrying. But it wasn¡¯t until it kept coming back that the worrying turned to pure sweating. Especially since the blacksmith was starting to look very cross with her. Even so, no matter what she did, she couldn¡¯t get rid of it. Whether it was giving it away or tossing it to the bottom of a well filled with gunk, a lake patrolled by strangler crabs or a cave populated by giant ember hornets, the sword would always be there, lying on her doorstep or hogging up her bed. Normally, Milly shut her eyes to it while pretending everything was normal. But normally, she also wasn¡¯t hiding from a vampire by covering herself in mud. Because if half the tales she¡¯d heard about vampires were true, then dying was the least of her problems. So for once, she was glad for her persistent admirer. It was needed to help stab the guy who¡¯d kidnapped her during supper. Or at least poke him really hard. Because while violence really wasn¡¯t the sort of thing she liked to do, on this one occasion, she felt the sort of conviction which children who begged passing adventurers for stories did. A wish to do right. She owed two lives worth of gratitude. First to a different, nicer vampire wearing cute cotton pyjamas ¡­ then to an S-rank adventurer who was both so pretty and young that Milly had felt like hiding herself with more mud. Sear?h the NovelFire.net* website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Which of the two coming to her rescue she found more unlikely, she had no idea. All she knew was that she was strangely calm about the whole thing. Maybe not so much at the beginning. But there was only so much lunacy she could see outside her front door before it all started becoming the same shade of sobs and snot. Which was probably for the best. Her body definitely needed some of that stuff. And although she still felt like ejecting it all out when she remembered to be horrified, her heart would calm whenever she gripped the hilt of a sword she¡¯d never once held before in earnest. At least not until now. Milly Holworth¡¯s tale wasn¡¯t done. She could feel it in her bones. Literally. Her legs practically moved on their own as she sought to return the way she came, a nonchalant dairy cow following closely behind. Because those who saved her would need saving in turn. It wasn¡¯t exactly going to be the entrance of a lifetime. But she knew she still had to be there. That was her purpose. No longer did she feel the need to throw away, sell or glare at her sword when it showed up in her bathtub while she was naked. This time, its presence felt right. Its weight more fitting than any pitchfork in her hands. Although almost being eaten by a vampire had shaved away several years of her life, she¡¯d discovered something else in turn. Courage enough to overflow. A warmth which shone through the bits of mud still caking her. So while she could flee, she could also fight. Milly knew in her heart of hearts that she was meant to destroy that vampire. It had chosen her for a reason. And so had fate. The sword glowed in her hand. A brightness which dispelled the fog as she waded forth like a crusader in the night. Conviction flared in her maiden¡¯s heart as the weight of evil thickened in the air. Because as the faces of those she knew and loved flashed through her mind, so too did memories she could not recall. Of battles hard fought and won. Of villains cursing and spluttering as they collapsed. Of dark abodes cleansed and filled with life and flowers. With a deep breath, Milly burst through the line of trees and knew what must be done¨C ¡°Ohohohohohohohoohohohoho!!¡± Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Instead ¡­ she just stood there and gawped, arms by her side as she craned her neck upwards. There in the youthful night sky was a sight which Milly had been spared even when at the vampire¡¯s mercy. A set of crude wings sprouting forth from his back, lifting him high like a devil pulled straight from a book of nightmares. With an aura so foul it tainted all thoughts of joy, he boasted fangs cruel enough to sink into the world itself. They were very obvious. ¡°AAARRRRRRAGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!¡± After all ¡­ his mouth was wide open, his eyes horrified as a heavenly pillar of light struck him. Milly watched as the flames consumed the vampire. But only for a moment. Because despite the sight of evil literally burning in the sky, it was the girl responsible who shone the brightest. She hovered in the air like a second sun as a beam of scorching light poured forth from her sword. A scene so insane that any barkeeper would refuse her any more drinks. Milly knew the girl had to be strong. She was the highest ranked of adventurers. Yet nothing in any tale had ever prepared her for the idea of someone her age doing something which she couldn¡¯t achieve even in her most lucid dream. And so as the vampire turned to ashes ¡­ it was the dimming sword in Milly¡¯s hand which fell first. Her moment of heroism gone and spent, the village girl quietly retreated back to the nearest tree where a cow awaited. The farm animal gave her a gentle nudge, then left her to quietly sit in silence as she blinked into the freshly cleared darkness. She was utterly stunned. There was no reason not to celebrate, of course. The less she had to do, the better. In fact, thinking about it, she really didn¡¯t know what¡¯d taken hold of her. She didn¡¯t know how to use a sword. More importantly, she didn¡¯t know how to kill a vampire. Even so, the strangest feeling gripped her, as though she¡¯d lost something very important. A blankness veiled her mind, and through a muted sense of relief, she couldn¡¯t help but feel akin to a piece of flotsam suddenly adrift at sea. Milly wasn¡¯t sure how long she sat there. But it was long enough for the sounds of commotion to fade, and for a shadow to appear over her. ¡°Greetings,¡± said the vampire in pink pyjamas, leaning forwards with a blink of her eyes. ¡°My apologies for disturbing you. I noted your presence and wished to offer my gratitude. I understand you are responsible for ensuring I wasn¡¯t discovered after our escape.¡± Milly stared. Even though she¡¯d briefly exchanged words with her, she realised now that she still had no idea who she was. Or why she¡¯d helped. Or how come she was on good terms with an adventurer. Or the reason she wasn¡¯t sucking her blood. There were more questions that she had room in her mouth to form. But in the end, there was only one thing she really needed to know. ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± she replied simply. ¡°You saved me too. I¡¯m Milly. Nice to meet you, Miss ¡­ ?¡± ¡°Countess Miriam Estroux.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± She was the lady type. Milly suddenly felt apologetic. She really couldn¡¯t tell. Unlike with the adventurer girl. Somewhere in the distance, she could hear her somewhat concerning laughter. Although she had few encounters with the local baroness, she imagined that if she laughed, it would sound something like that. ¡°Are you injured?¡± asked the vampire, her tone soft and sleepy. ¡°If so, I can fly you towards the nearest chapel. I¡¯d need to leave you several miles outside, but I¡¯m certain my presence would draw any nearby sisters to your aid.¡± ¡°No, um, I¡¯m not injured ¡­ I think. I¡¯m just a bit ¡­ yeah.¡± ¡°Ah, of course. To be kidnapped by a master vampire is a truly harrowing affair. But you need not fear now. Although other creatures await in the darkness, they are less cruel. When your time comes, it will be swift and sudden.¡± The vampire tilted her head slightly, then her lips twitched as she attempted to perform a kind smile. Milly smiled back. ¡°Thanks. I needed that. Although it¡¯s not really the whole almost dying thing which gets to me, oddly enough. It¡¯s more the fact that I didn¡¯t do anything to help.¡± ¡°That is simply untrue. By preventing harm from coming to me, you have assisted the kingdom in more ways than you can imagine. The world of literature would be in a poorer place.¡± ¡°Oh ¡­ right. In that case, that¡¯s good.¡± The vampire nodded ¡­ then leaned in slightly more. ¡°Are you certain you¡¯re not injured?¡± ¡°Yeah, I think I¡¯m okay. I just need a moment. I mean, I saw the pretty girl sort of bring down the sun on someone. And it¡¯s making me feel weird things.¡± ¡°That¡¯s a common reaction. Her methods are nothing if not illuminating.¡± Milly nodded. Then, she paused for a moment. ¡°It was more than that. It was, well ¡­ so bright that I¡¯m sort of wondering what I¡¯m doing. What I should be doing. This is going to sound a bit silly, but I was actually planning on helping you kill that vampire.¡± ¡°That doesn¡¯t sound silly at all.¡± ¡°Thanks.¡± ¡°Only suicidal. You were fortunate to have failed.¡± Milly¡¯s smile turned several shades of awkward, having utterly no defence. ¡°Mmh. I¡¯m pretty sure I¡¯d have only gotten in the way. I guess I just wanted to do something dumb. It¡¯s sort of embarrassing. I had this moment of clarity¨Cand now I feel a bit empty. Still, I¡¯m really happy that guy¡¯s gone. It means I can get back to the farm. To do farm stuff. And so can everybody else. That¡¯s great!¡± The vampire studied her for a moment. Then, she glanced down at the dimmed sword by her side. She considered it with a hum. ¡°To work the fields is a noble cause,¡± she said. ¡°There¡¯s no reason to feel unfulfilled.¡± ¡°Oh yeah. I know that. I like farming. I like helping everyone around me.¡± ¡°That¡¯s good. Because I also believe there¡¯s no reason to remain still. I cannot comment on any listlessness you may feel. But courage when tested is a rarer trait than cowardice. Should you wish to pursue other opportunities with the life you have, I see little reason why they should elude you.¡± Milly blinked. ¡°What do you mean?¡± she asked, genuinely never having considered anything else. ¡°It¡¯s common to seek other pursuits when the road is opened. If the thought of aiding your fellow farmers appeals to you, then there¡¯s considerable work which you might do to help them. All the more so if you already possess your own sword.¡± The image of Milly trawling through a cave in the desert immediately filled her mind. An instinctive shudder ran through her. ¡°Are you suggesting I become an adventurer? Like that girl? ¡­ Because as exciting as that is, I actually have a little brother I still need to take care of.¡± ¡°Is that so?¡± The vampire tilted her head slightly. ¡°Then there¡¯s a simpler option available to you. In my opinion, if you wish to wield a sword to defend those close at home, then you should consider speaking with the Wessin Bridge garrison.¡± ¡°Huh?¡± ¡°To offer your courage for the kingdom is the most efficient and practical way of defending those you care for. Guards are always welcomed. And unless things have changed in the past 200 years, the kingdom¡¯s royal army recruits locally. Should you not wish to be posted elsewhere due to familial concerns, then I¡¯d be surprised if there was no agreed practice to allow you to remain until your dependents are of age. It is something worth considering.¡± Milly was stunned. It was something she¡¯d never thought about before. Not only because fighting wasn¡¯t something she ever knew she¡¯d want to take part in ¡­ but also because the kingdom didn¡¯t really have a fantastic reputation around these parts. The Wessin Bridge¡¯s focus was always on the travellers and merchants, with few guards to spare for patrolling the large amount of countryside all along the river. In truth, there was considerable resentment for it. Even Milly herself had experienced the frustration. She was no stranger to thieves breaking into her home. ¡­ But perhaps she could change that. Before she knew it, an idea which had never once entered her thoughts suddenly became a spark bright enough for her to sit up just a little bit straighter. After all, she now had a choice. There were many roads she could walk. And although she never considered a path beyond the field where she grew up, the sword which had somehow found its way into her grasp faintly glowed again as her fingers wrapped around the hilt. Milly Holworth nodded ¡­ smiled, then made a decision. She¡¯d go home and finish supper. Then, later on, she¡¯d inquire at the local garrison¨Cabout becoming a town guard! ¡­ And also if she could bring her own sword. Chapter 372: A Princess’s Innocence A beautiful sight greeted me upon my return to the farm. A stream of unbroken moonlight pouring down upon fields of golden wheat. And also the volunteers preparing to work them, shepherded by the knights who¡¯d now decided to make their appearance. Armoured steeds lined the dirt road in the near distance while their bearers waltzed through the fields. Except that this time, they weren¡¯t simply hiding from the fathers whose rage they¡¯d earned. Instead, they were busying themselves with gathering together the ruffians as they crawled from the forest like mice scurrying from a bar of soap. A difficult task. But not because the hoodlums were fleeing from them. On the contrary, they were crowding around my knights like drunkards desperate for the attention of a barkeeper. Despite Coppelia generously helping to prod the ruffians into one group, it was enough to overwhelm even the bravest of my defenders. As powerful as the musk of hair wax was, nothing was as debilitating as the odour which all common hoodlums proudly boasted. Even so, I was delighted! Now finally freed from the grasp of an errant vampire, the vagrants populating these forests had finally seen the error of their ways. Granted a second chance to offer themselves to the kingdom, many were already upon their knees, their cries of relief filling the air as they practically banged on the armour of my knights. ¡°Please! Put me in prison! I¡¯m begging you!¡± ¡°No, take me away first! I¡¯ve done the worst crimes! Put me somewhere with the biggest walls!¡± ¡°We¡¯re doomed. We¡¯re doomed. We¡¯re doomed.¡± ¡°A monster! You gotta go in there! It¡¯s ¡­ It¡¯s still around! A monster in the shape of a girl! She can fly and beam down unholy fire! You need to stop her before it¡¯s too late!¡± S~ea??h the Novel?ire(.)ne*t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. ¡°Please ¡­ I have this letter ¡­ give this to my daughter ¡­ then tell her to run ¡­¡± I-Indeed! Why, they were so relieved that their memories were jumbled up, recalling events which never occurred! Fortunately, not all of the hoodlums were busy muddying their knees. ¡°Haah ¡­ haaah ¡­ haaah ¡­¡± Some were muddying their hands. There, in the only part of the wheat field to be satisfyingly level, were a group of hoodlums whose only concerns were building upon a tower of bales. It rose magnificently. A structure imposing enough that if I could fit it with windows and a door, I could use it to mark the 99 floor dungeon I¡¯d soon be building nearby. Sweat dribbled from the brows as they harvested the field I¡¯d left them to into a geometrically perfect rectangle. However, despite the joy of toil washing away their past mischief, the most pleased were the actual farmers themselves. And why not? I had just ensured their unending productivity. Ohohohohoho! Indeed! An entire forest cleared of distractions! Now there was no excuse to lounge in a cart while only waking when a royal procession woke them! With nothing but the regular carnivorous monsters, prowling forest wolves and ravenous badgers to make anyone wonder why farming was a viable profession, I fully expected the shortcakes produced by this farm¡¯s flour to begin flowing again. There was just one problem. ¡°Puh.¡± The glob of liquid which casually exited the orifice of the nearest farmer. I almost fainted on the spot. There was no communication behind it. No meaning. No protest. No agreement. Just a casual act of wanton destruction of etiquette, followed by a yawn, a scratch of the head and a rub of the nostrils to sweep away any speck of propriety which remained. My hands covered my mouth. Horror beyond words or gasps filled me. All the more so as the farmer noticed my shock, then simply gave me a thumbs-up. Yet just as I was about to order my knights to arrest this vandal, I was instead greeted by the only one who technically wasn¡¯t mine. Technically, of course, being a highly flexible word. ¡°Well, now,¡± said the minotaur, offering a courteous nod as he approached. ¡°It seems my thoughts of assisting were an exercise in hubris. I alerted what knights were sober enough to ride. But perhaps I should have brought the kegs instead. I take it you were successful in your quest?¡± I offered a kindly smile in return ¡­ all the more so as his presence stopped the nearby farmer from doing something unspeakable with his nose. ¡°Not in the slightest. I¡¯ve only ever one desire. That is to return to my orchard, where I may tend to the begonias who are sorely missing my gentle touch.¡± ¡°A noble desire. To nurture life is to wound evil more than any blade could do.¡± ¡°My, I agree with the sentiment. But gardening is more than simply a means to spite those who lurk in the dark. It is a method to enlighten the soul. As some here have already come to know.¡± The minotaur glanced at a group of hoodlums already at work with their sickles. The ones who I¡¯d earlier left here. It was almost impressive. They were like squires on their first day of being a lackey. If all my farmers worked with such fervour, I¡¯d be tossing gateau aux cerises tr¨¨s moelleux through my window at twice the usual rate. He simply nodded. ¡°I¡¯m certain more will have the chance to indulge. It was quite the surprise. The brigands exited in their droves. When they first came rushing out, my first thought was that these farmers were being assailed.¡± ¡°Then you needn¡¯t fear. These farmers have been spared. Just not from work. I¡¯ve made sure of that. And certainly not by using anything other than a gentle smile, no matter what slanderous rumours you might have heard.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve heard no such rumours,¡± said the minotaur, his white lie as shining as his armour. ¡°The only ones which concern me are those regarding a powerful vampire, if I heard true. Would this be correct?¡± ¡°Ohohoho ¡­ not at all. I only encountered a flying leech.¡± ¡°... A flying leech?¡± ¡°Yes. One with a poor sense of taste. That it somehow moulted into ash is a deep shame.¡± The look I received was no different to the way knights stared whenever they saw a slightly newer and shinier sword ¡­ something I was mildly mortified at. ¡°Then I dare say the world will sleep easier. Leeches often equate to disease. I cannot imagine the calamity that might have followed had it remained whole. Certainly, anything so foul would be poorly suited for a task as virtuous as farming.¡± ¡°Is that so? ¡­ Yet I must disagree.¡± ¡°Oh?¡± ¡°To wield a pitchfork is to cast away one¡¯s misdeeds¨Cas long as it¡¯s pointed towards the ground and nowhere else. For here in the Kingdom of Tirea, all debts can be repaid. And I do believe that the road of redemption first begins with the road of productivity. Luckily for these hoodlums, it shall be both a long and joyful one.¡± The minotaur nodded ¡­ albeit with just a hint of concern. ¡°A truly fine notion. I only wish justice were so pragmatic in other kingdoms. Even so, I must admit my surprise. In my experience, trust is rarely admired by brigands. Although a number appear remarkably ¡­ zealous, I fear that most will flee on the first night.¡± I offered an angelic smile, my hands clasped together against my chest. ¡°Ordinarily, perhaps so. But that is only more cause for us to offer our kindness. Those of a desperate past think only of a desperate future, where every road is steeped in fog and paved in doubt. To swipe it away, we must therefore offer a guiding hand. To be the light that they miss. They simply need encouragement. An opportunity ¡­ and also someone to impress upon them the gravity of what should occur if such opportunity is squandered.¡± Thus, I looked up and nodded. ¡°Sir Arthur Tranlingway. I have for you a quest.¡± The minotaur snapped to attention, much to his own clear surprise. I hardly saw why. For a questing knight, there was no ambition greater than to see out the most worthy of tasks given to them. And none were more cherished than those gifted by a princess. ¡°Really?¡± The minotaur blinked, seemingly now very confused. ¡°And ¡­ what would that be?¡± ¡°Ohohoho ¡­ why, it¡¯s simple. Please ensure that these hoodlums do not meander from the road of productivity. Because if they do, I will consider alternative arrangements.¡± Growing astonishment was all the minotaur had to offer as the silver of his armour almost seemed to glow with a pale shine. It was nothing compared to his sword. That had become a light which every nearby knight could only gawp at. I nodded in satisfaction. ¡°Once they¡¯ve been rehabilitated to your satisfaction, I kindly invite you to the Royal Villa to receive a fitting reward¨Cas well as an audience with the royal family. To guests from the Spiral Isle, we offer nothing but our hospitality ¡­ I look forward to our next meeting.¡± The minotaur stared. Then, his eyes widened¨Cthen only continued widening as I turned on my heels, my parting smile all the reward any questing knight needed in the interim. Now with this corner of the countryside brightened, I went to my next order of business. Back towards the edge of the forest. But it wasn¡¯t to survey where the barely hidden trail used to lure miscreants coming to undo my work would go. Not yet, anyway. Instead, I made my way over to the maiden with silver hair and pink pyjamas, who being a vampire had a passable excuse to avoid social occasions ¡­ at least until I was personally there to see how the Holy Church¡¯s representative would splutter when we outrageously denied everything. Naturally, she knew this as well. That¡¯s why in the diagram she was drawing with a fine line of ice, several broom cupboards had been added so that the maids could tidy up whatever wine glass was dropped while in the expanded library. ¡°It¡¯s done,¡± said Miriam with a satisfied nod. ¡°What do you think?¡± I kneeled down to study the drawing in the grass. It was bigger than I imagined. And there were entire rooms marked simply with the word ¡®culture¡¯. That was all that was required. ¡°I approve,¡± I said with a clap of my hands. ¡°This is wonderful. Nothing else needs to be added. In fact, perhaps some things can be removed. If the shelves scribbled with the word ¡®poetry¡¯ could be¨C¡± ¡°That is beyond my ability.¡± I pursed my lips, only temporarily thwarted. First things first ¡­ water my begonias, bathe, eat and sleep, then repeated several times. But afterwards, I¡¯d see to ensuring my agreement with a certain dragon was fulfilled in full. More than full. After all¨Cwhat example would I be if I didn¡¯t honour my debts with interest? Ohohohohohoho! ¡°I¡¯m relieved,¡± said Miriam, looking not the least bit relieved as she studiously went over her drawing. ¡°To be responsible for expanding the Royal Villa is something I never could have expected. But I suppose such activities are the norm now. It¡¯s certainly different from my crypt.¡± ¡°Well, I¡¯d hope so! As ¡­ cosy as your crypt sounds, the Royal Villa is flush with warmth. Especially with loyal servants dedicated to discreetly burning our deliveries of carrots in every hearth.¡± Miriam nodded, doubtless having admired the sight in the middle of the night. ¡°Are you certain there¡¯s nothing you wish to change? While later renovations can still be done, it¡¯d be simpler if they were organised now.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve no changes I wish to make. In truth, I spend little time in the library. I trust that any alterations you deem suitable will be a marked improvement.¡± ¡°Understood. Then I shall return to work at once.¡± Without fanfare, she brushed aside the drawing with a sweep of her hand¨C Fwup. ¡­ and sprouted a small pair of bat-like wings. She gave them a little flap. I absolutely was not resisting the temptation to touch them. ¡°Oh, I almost forgot,¡± I said with a click of my fingers. ¡°I¡¯ve a message I wish to be delivered to my mother and father.¡± ¡°Of course. What would you like me to convey?¡± ¡°Please tell them the following: I did not do that.¡± Miriam waited. After a moment, she tilted her head slightly. ¡°... Is that it?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Should I tell them what you specifically did not do?¡± ¡°That would defeat the purpose. I want them to know that whatever they think I did, I most certainly did not.¡± Miriam blinked. Then, she looked up in thought. In those brief seconds, I could almost see every memory she had of me flashing through her eyes. ¡°Should I mention¨C¡± ¡°No.¡± Chapter 373: An Unexpected Warmth The Wessin Bridge was the picture of tranquillity. Like a stalwart guardian in the night, it stood beneath the pale moonlight, its tall silhouette enduring and proud¨Cmuch like the kingdom it defended. As the river flowed into the glimmering estuary beyond it, the calmness of the water¡¯s surface was disturbed only by the odd whisper of a nightly breeze, the falling leaves of the nearby woodlands, and the carnivorous needlefish as they occasionally skipped into the air to impale a low-diving heron. Silence and stillness walked hand-in-hand amidst the streets. The debauchery which had first welcomed me was no more. The farmers misled into voicing their ire were absent, while the knights who¡¯d answered the challenge of an errant leech had become the snorts of horses and the grumblings of squires in the distance. Even the alley cats were not to be seen. After all¨C ¡°Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!¡± They¡¯d all honourably slinked away, knowing when they were well bested in raucousness. Although the world was calm for one more evening, within a guildhall indistinguishable from the many pubs and inns which bordered it, drunken revelry still claimed ownership here. Just as it always did. And so¨Ca wooden keg rolled across the floor. Not just a bottle of wine or a tankard, of which there were many. But an actual keg the size of the gentleman currently doing laps about the common room. He was being encouraged by the lady attempting to sit on said keg. She failed, rolling into the legs of a table and all to sit around it. A punch was thrown, followed by a laugh of camaraderie, a toast to friendship and better tomorrows, and then finally another punch. The next moment, I watched as a brawl ensued. Astonishing. I¡¯d seen adventurers at both their worst and their worst. Yet somehow, they¡¯d managed to find a shovel sturdy enough to dig a slightly deeper hole for standards to reside in. There were so many tankards staining the floor that only a fire could save it. And yet they still worked to honour whichever patron deity of hooliganism they worshipped. It didn¡¯t matter whether it was the beginning or the end of the day to these layabouts, of course. Impropriety was forever and drunkenness doubly so. Yet as the instigators of the emergency plan to placate my subjects with alcohol, they¡¯d doubtless been leading from the front. And also since the morning. Normally, such a scene was enough to monopolise all my regret. But despite the alcohol, the fists and the off-key singing flailing in all directions, I now found myself leaning away from a far bigger concern. A glossy white box. With a red ribbon. In stark contrast to the stains clinging on every surface, a neat box as shiny as it was ominous waited upon the desk of the smiling receptionist. I didn¡¯t know what horrified me more. The fact we made eye contact or that the box where she kept all the souls she collected was on display, ready to efficiently scoop up anyone who succumbed to the weight of their shamelessness. I pursed my lips. ¡°Coppelia.¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°My princess senses are tingling.¡± My loyal handmaiden blinked, her head turning in all directions. ¡°Hmm ¡­ are you sure? I don¡¯t sense any explosions.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not explosions I¡¯m concerned with.¡± ¡°Oh, okay. Want me to get a table for us to hide under, anyway?¡± ¡°No.¡± I paused. ¡°¡­ At least not yet. And if you do, please select one without any stains. If that¡¯s not possible, you¡¯ll need to build a table.¡± ¡°Got it! What¡¯s the tingling about?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not certain. However, there is an ill omen in the air. I can sense it like a smile from my mother. If necessary, you may need to carry me away at short notice. I¡¯ll give the signal.¡± ¡°Alrighty~! What¡¯s the signal?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll say the code word, ¡®help, help, help, help, help¡¯.¡± Coppelia nodded at once, her enthusiasm second only to my subtleness. ¡°Observe carefully,¡± I added, eyes fixed upon the receptionist clearly waiting for me to approach. ¡°I¡¯m going to collect our reward for quenching the ire of my peasants. If I feel she¡¯ll respond in a way unrelated to that, I¡¯ll give the signal. However, should she manage to incapacitate me or steal my soul, you must use your own judgement to hurry me away.¡± ¡°No worries! I¡¯ll definitely watch. And also do something.¡± I smiled, satisfied at her diligence. Then, after gathering myself with a short breath, I made my way over to the only wooden surface not to be irreparably stained with alcohol. The desk. ¡°Greetings!¡± said the receptionist, her back a perfect line as she offered a professional smile from behind her desk. ¡°Welcome to the Wessin Bridge branch of the Adventurer¡¯s Guild. It¡¯s delightful to see you again. How may I help?¡± Showing no fear, I matched her unbending posture with my own. ¡°Ohohoho ¡­ why, you may help me by funding my stay in the least downtrodden inn! Rejoice, unnamed receptionist #8. I¡¯ve successfully answered the concerns of the peasantry. The darkness hounding them from the nearby woodlands has been judged by the light of my smile. And also the concentrated power of the sun. I¡¯ve removed an errant vampire scheming from the poorly furnished shadows¨Calong with the ruffians tasked with lackey duty. Even now, they express their joy to a minotaur who is teaching them the ways of redemption.¡± I waited for the appropriate look of shock ¡­ hopefully followed by a large chest of gold. Instead, the receptionist merely nodded and smiled. ¡°That¡¯s wonderful news!¡± she said, with the same exuberance whenever an F-rank adventurer didn¡¯t succumb to their wounds while kidnapping a tabby cat. ¡°Goodness, to think that such darkness dwelled nearby! With their plight solved, the farmers can rest easy.¡± ¡°No, quite the opposite. They can work harder. Now, you needn¡¯t gasp as you clearly wish to¨Cnor do you need to offer me any certificates. All I desire is my reward.¡± ¡°Of course. Please give me a moment.¡± The receptionist needed less than that. As though she was already prepared, she retrieved a modest bag from behind the desk. So modest, in fact, that I could scarcely hear the tinkling as she placed it before me. ¡°I confirm the successful completion of the commission. Your reward is 28 gold crowns.¡± I stared at the pittance of a reward. It was even less than what I received for doing away with a dryad. Or indeed, accidentally saving a large group of cats. Twice. Even so, it wasn¡¯t the insufficient taxes of my farmers which caused my hand to remain where it was. Yes ¡­ something was wrong. ¡°Excuse me, but you misplaced a step,¡± I pointed out. ¡°Oh?¡± The receptionist blinked in surprise. ¡°Which would that be?¡± ¡°I believe this is where you accost me for access to my copper ring. And while touching it is something I normally avoid at all costs, I¡¯ve no desire to be chased to the ends of the world for the sake of whatever bureaucracy needs to be satisfied once this mistake is realised.¡± To my horror, the receptionist merely giggled. Slowly, one by one, the masks were coming undone. ¡°I¡¯m deeply moved by your thoughtfulness. But you needn¡¯t be concerned. While it¡¯s true that I would typically request the copper ring of any adventurer accepting or completing a commission, that is unnecessary for yourself.¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°Every receptionist in the Kingdom of Tirea is well versed in your exploits, Miss Juliette. As a result, you do not require identifying. Your feats are also no longer recorded exclusively in your copper ring, but separately in a dedicated achievements drawer overseen by a team of receptionists. I¡¯ll soon be notifying my colleagues of your actions this evening. I¡¯m certain they¡¯re already waiting eagerly.¡± I took a step back, my hands covering my mouth. The ¡­ The conspiracy ¡­ it was widening!! They knew my face! And now they had a blackmail drawer detailing all the things I officially didn¡¯t do! Soon, I¡¯d be waking up to the sight of receptionists smiling while leaning over me ¡­ and if I was fortunate, it was to assassinate me! ¡°Pffffftt.¡± Beside me, Coppelia was equally distraught. Both hands covered her lips as the least sad noise of despair ever made left her. I offered a perfectly natural, creaking smile towards the receptionist. ¡°O-Ohohoho ¡­ I ¡­ I see ¡­ that is ¡­ that is quite convenient, yes ¡­¡± ¡°It is the least we can do. Your accomplishments speak for themselves. To offer our recognition to an adventurer who symbolises the guild code so earnestly is something we all enjoy.¡± ¡°In ¡­ Indeed ¡­ ? Why, I¡¯m deeply flattered ¡­ and an achievements drawer, you say ¡­ ?¡± ¡°Yes, it contains all your history. An unabridged account of your every deed.¡± ¡°My, how delightful ¡­ ! And where would such a drawer be ¡­ ? Approximately, that is ¡­ to the city, room and exact cabinet ¡­ ? ¡°It¡¯s somewhere safe.¡± ¡°Goodness ¡­ I certainly hope so ¡­ ! Because it would be absolutely terrible if something were to happen to it ¡­ say, an unexplained fire in the middle of the night ¡­ ?¡± My smile quivered. And then¨C I slowly pushed the small pouch of gold crowns towards the receptionist. She pushed it back. ¡°I¡¯m delighted to have been able to meet you personally,¡± said the receptionist, her smile brightening by the second. ¡°I understand that you have a very busy schedule¨Cand I also have no wish to take up your valuable time. But if you can, I¡¯d like you to accept a discretionary reward on behalf of myself and all my colleagues.¡± She gestured towards the box of souls. The one designed explicitly for mine. I looked at it in horror. ¡°E-Excuse me ¡­ ? This highly suspicious box is a reward from every receptionist ¡­ ?¡± ¡°Yes. By all means, please open it. The ribbons are not completely attached, so the lid can simply be lifted.¡± An expectant smile met me. Both by the receptionist and Coppelia as my courage was tested. For a moment, all I could feel was an inviting breeze from outside as the door briefly opened. Yet as the weight of my family¡¯s honour settled upon my shoulders, I chose to meet the challenge. Bravely, with an eye closed as I turned my face away ¡­ I lifted the edge of the lid. When no fruit slime sprang out to eat me, I leaned over and stole a peek. ¡°Oh.¡± A cake. A strawberry shortcake, to be exact. And unlike the bite sized portions sitting mysteriously upon my apple trees, this one was whole. A perfectly round beacon of delight, disturbed only by the faint lines where it¡¯d been sliced. My studious eyes went over the abundant strawberries at once, each so ripe their juices practically glazed over a bed of whipped cream. Beneath it, more cream still with their texture intact teasingly peeked between the layers of perfectly golden sponge. I could find no fault. ¡°It¡¯s a small thing,¡± said the receptionist with a nod. ¡°But I hope you can at least enjoy a slice amidst your busy schedule. It was Mirabelle, the receptionist in Reitzlake, who made the suggestion for a gift.¡± I blinked and rubbed my eyes. Still, the beautifully adorned cake sat before me. A mirage so perfect that every instinct warned me against indulging. Especially when a name I was beginning to remember was the culprit behind it. Indeed ¡­ if this was by the harbinger of doom, then I could not accept this! There was undoubtedly an ulterior motive! Perhaps the cake itself was laced with some alchemical or magical concoction! A means to enthrall me with some devious ingredient hidden within the layers of carefully placed decoration! Indeed, I could never under any circumstances allow myself to ¡­ to ¡­ ¡°Ah?!¡± I jumped slightly, startled by the sudden feeling of shortcake in my hand. And also my mouth. It ¡­ It was so good!! Betrayed by my own limbs, I savoured the familiar taste. Nor was I the only one to do so. ¡°Omnomomonomonomonom~¡± Wielding a slice of shortcake in either hand, Coppelia wasted no time in ensuring that if any amount of illicit ingredients were present, she would experience the symptoms first. Even so, I expected her to continue eating. Although it was not to the impeccable standards which the Royal Villa adhered to, it was by no means lacking. High quality ingredients were measured to exact amounts, with even the slices calculated to ensure even distribution of strawberries. The result was more than a rush of delight. It was a reminder of why I was here. I needed to ensure that my quality of life would remain unimpeded. So that once I sat beneath the boughs of my apple trees once more, I could look up and be reassured by the silhouette of a falling shortcake at any time. And so ¡­ I chose to indulge! After all, it was important to remember my purpose! Furthermore, wasn¡¯t declining a gift that was offered in earnest simply barbarous? As a high level princess, I had to hold myself to a standard greater than to be cowed by mere thoughts of whatever terrible motive went behind this gift! Why, if something bad were to happen, I¡¯d at least implicate the harbinger of doom! ¡­ And if it was simply bribery for terrorising me all this time, then that only meant more reason to hire her as soon as possible! ¡­ Or rather, as soon as her presence no longer horrified me! Eventually, however, even those thoughts faded. My concerns were swallowed up at the same pace as fluffy sponge layered with strawberries and cream on both sides, until even the promise of dancing mice in the ceiling above me was forgotten. For a moment, I was sitting upon the soft grass, visited by the fragrance of freshly watered lilacs and the maids reminding me of my scheduled mathematics lesson 4 hours ago. Why, even the commotion of a busy guild hall no longer registered. ¡°Miss Juliette ¡­ ?¡± After all¨C It was completely silent. But not through envy at the sight of the only edible source of food having evaded the communal cauldron. Rather ¡­ it was because of the pillar of flame. S§×arch* The n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Through a window was a sight so unexpected that it induced sobriety in every adventurer, stopping them where they stood, rolled or brawled. A swirling tempest of undiluted wildfire rose in the distance, high enough to catch the stomach of any passing dragon. And possibly even tickle them. For it was more than the height of the flames which saw so many tankards being loosened from their hands. Such was its intensity, the pillar managed to light the dark recesses of the Wessin Bridge like a crackling hearth, the warmth and fury both felt even from here. A magical flame beyond the ability of ordinary mages. Except perhaps one. The receptionist looked at me with concern. I looked at her. And then I did what any princess would do. I continued eating cake. Chapter 374: Memories Of The Past Marina had long grown used to the stench of flames. The acridness. The pungency. The smoke tarring her nostrils like a final spite from whatever enemy it was she¡¯d reduced to melted goo and burning embers. And more often than not, it was a casserole. Despite her reputation, what she most frequently turned to cinders wasn¡¯t her enemies. But rather a combination of beef, carrots and onions with a sprig of parsley. Not because she was tragic in the kitchen, but simply because she was stubborn. She could use a saucepot, of course. But she also had her cauldron. An expensive cauldron. High quality stoneware with a silver bottom. Perfect for that little bonus which gave her popular hangover tonics a strawberry aftertaste. And since she paid for every inch of that cauldron, she also wanted to use every inch of it ¡­ even if by her own admission, a heavy duty cauldron sat upon a flame hot enough to melt a typical hearth wasn¡¯t truly appropriate. These days, however, the things she burned were far less palatable than her usual ingredients. She burned the faces of headmasters, the doors in her path and the eyebrows of bathhouse owners when she was clearly being charged the tourist price for entering. But most of all ¡­ she burned towers. Always a tower. Mages loved them. And since the people she needed to deal with were usually other mages, that meant towers. This one was considerably smaller than the Royal Institute of Mages, yet the flames engulfing it were no less. The combination of a single vial of cinderwake oil from her satchel combined with a click of her fingers had done more than she could have expected, but also less than what she¡¯d hoped. As she stepped through the ashes of a former study, what she found so far was only disappointment. Her closest friend. Marina¡¯s shoes swept through the ashes of a study, disturbing sprouts of flames still burning like freshly lit braziers. Here and there, the carcass of a tome, an instrument or an entire shelf came toppling down, the flames having melted it all against the stonework. Embers drifted down like snow. She ignored it all. These were her flames, born of magic so ancient she scarcely understood how it functioned. Few could. And of those, most were con artists or deluded. After all, the magic which flowed through her didn¡¯t just burn. It pricked at her. Like a thousand needles scratching beneath her skin. Her blood was a curse. But it was also a gift. Marina was powerful. More than she¡¯d ever been in her life. Destruction came to her as easily as the caws of the ravens as they spied her through the charred windows. Her magic was so potent that a dozen apprentices without a single lesson in self-restraint could let loose in a pottery shop and cause less damage than what she could do with a frown. And that ¡­ was infuriating. Marina frowned as she observed the largest source of ash. That¡¯d once been an arcane golem, made to work in concert with the paralysing runes beneath the floorboards and the charged lightning rods designed to ward against both intruders and pigeons. Blunt but practical. It mattered little. Her flames were even blunter. She was the Witch of Calamity. And calamity rarely came with subtlety. It¡¯d been centuries since any mage bearing that title last threatened the kingdom. There had been others, of course, in Rozinthe and the Summer Kingdoms among others, but they¡¯d melted alongside their flames. Marina, however, knew as certain as the invisible weight upon her brow that there was now no mistake¨Ceven if she wished it wasn¡¯t so. Others might rejoice before burning down a barn like a child playing a dragon. But others also wished for talent when they should be wishing for a personal organiser. There was no substitute for a fixed schedule, a hard working ethos and a balanced diet. And while eating charred vegetables didn¡¯t help the feeling of being doused in grease halfway through the motion of exiting bed in the mornings, it was certainly enough to read Adonian¡¯s Elementary Guide To Breaking The World with one hand while stirring ladles in a cauldron with the other. This made a mockery of her studies. Of all the weird shapes engrained upon her forehead, the frequent illnesses and the sore back as she fell asleep at her desk. Marina refused to accept it. But if it was a means to an end, she would at least tolerate it. For now. There was a mystery to solve. And now she was a piece of the conundrum. The rest was still her mother. Marina paused as the tip of her shoe met the only thing not to be melted. She leaned down and brushed her fingers through the ashes before lifting up the least auspicious of objects. An elven puzzle box. Burned but not broken. Marina hadn¡¯t expected anything else. Despite the destruction, she¡¯d chosen cinderwake oil and not strictly her magic for a reason. To overwhelm the tower¡¯s defences required only this much. Anything more would threaten what she needed. A toy woven with more enchantments than any alchemical concoction could break. Or indeed, most magic by even the most proficient of mages¨Cof which the owner of this tower certainly wasn¡¯t. If Marina squinted hard enough, she¡¯d just be able to make out the fleeing silhouette through the window. Instead, she flicked the keyhole upside down. Click. As the puzzle box unlocked, she responded with a snort. Those at the Royal Institute would have hurled fireballs at it for years. But for better or for worse, a fireball couldn¡¯t solve every problem. Otherwise, she¡¯d already be rid of her. ¡°It suits you. The hair, that is.¡± Marina chastised herself for even glancing. Idling upon the window was a girl whose scarlet smile only became less wholesome each time she appeared. That was her greatest talent. It was never wholesome to begin with. The Dealer sat with one leg crossed over the other, elbow perched upon her lap while her cheek rested within her palm. There was no sense of caution in her mismatched eyes of gold and scarlet. No curiosity or terror at the extent of Marina¡¯s new powers. Only faint bemusement. After all¨Cfor all her outrageousness, she at least didn¡¯t have hair tinged with ends of luminous pink. ¡°You¡¯re welcome to it,¡± said Marina, forcing her eyes away from what she continuously failed to erase with either fire or scissors. ¡°If you believe you can whisk them away, feel free to.¡± ¡°I would never dare do something so uncouth. Strands of glowing hair are very much in favour. Boldness and eccentricity has always been the purview of great mages.¡± ¡°This isn¡¯t boldness or eccentricity. It is someone else¡¯s humour. And I¡¯m the one suffering. I can¡¯t even purchase reagents without drawing attention. And herbalists have seen everything.¡± ¡°Perhaps that¡¯s less because of the hair and more the dissonance when a pair of common eyes witnesses the Witch of Calamity purchasing powdered sweetroot and dried snowberries for their favourite fruit cordial. Those before you were not known for their law abiding nature.¡± Marina wrinkled her nose. She didn¡¯t know how the previous Witches of Calamity navigated daily life, but she cared little for whatever precedents they¡¯d set. Least of all concerning their purchases. She was hardly a saint, true. But she¡¯d never rob from a fellow shopkeeper. That was a red line. Shooing away her would-be colleagues with unholy amounts of fire, however, wasn¡¯t one of them. ¡°I¡¯m stunned you haven¡¯t been harassing me more,¡± admitted Marina, all the while carefully and very deliberately opening the lid of her puzzle box. Sear?h the n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. ¡°I¡¯ve been overworked,¡± replied the Dealer with her usual smile, not looking at all like someone who¡¯d lifted a finger to raise a teapot. ¡°As a poor cog in the machine, I can only spin so fast. Contrary to what you believe, I¡¯m a shameless nuisance to others as well.¡± ¡°I¡¯m owed several favours, then. I can feel the relief from everywhere not here.¡± ¡°Everywhere not here can still see your work at play. The tower lit up so brightly that perhaps even Her Excellency might have deigned to spare a glance. I¡¯m most impressed. You¡¯re almost as subtle as I am.¡± Marina rolled her eyes. It used to be so much easier. When they first met, there was almost a thin veneer of professionalism to this girl. Mystery, even. Now she was telling jokes and quips. The ignorance was wonderful. ¡°What do you want?¡± said Marina, as she lifted a crystallised dew from the puzzle box. She examined it closely. A perfect droplet without flaw glittered in answer. ¡°I¡¯m busy. If you want to bother me about my calamitous powers, it¡¯ll have to wait.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve endless ways I can be an inconvenience. But querying you isn¡¯t one of them.¡± ¡°... And what do you mean by that?¡± Marina spared a second glance. The Dealer shrugged. ¡°The Witch of Calamity. The Barrow Knight. The Cursed Shipwright. Yours Truly. Lotus House is ever the home of the lost and the dispossessed. And to ask questions is to be tactless. Others may fulfil that role. Tonight, my only task is to offer a note of caution.¡± ¡°Really. And what is that?¡± ¡°There are other ways you may proceed with what you wish. The past is a tale written only in memories. And to force the ink is a dangerous game.¡± Marina almost scoffed on instinct. Instead, she paused as the edges of the Dealer¡¯s lips lowered slightly. Her mismatched eyes narrowed so imperceptibly that only an odd lessening of irritation hinted that her words might almost be genuine. That was a first more rare than any magic she could wield. ¡°I¡¯ve played worse games,¡± answered Marina, as she crushed the perfect dew between her finger and thumb into fine shards. ¡°Namely by associating with you.¡± The Dealer¡¯s smile returned in full. ¡°True. But I do hope this isn¡¯t where your gamble will fail.¡± Marina didn¡¯t allow herself to hesitate. Not now. Not when all she¡¯d worked for would finally come to fruition. ¡°[Ignite].¡± Speaking only a word, a blaze of flames appeared in the centre of the study. The ashes burst into flames, their withered crumbs forced to life once again. Then, the crushed dew between her finger and thumb was flung into the flames. A moment later, so was everything else¨Ceach precious reagent drawn from her satchel. ¡°Dew of captured starlight, bearing echoes of words once said. Feather of the raven king, with wisdom beyond the boundless sky. Eye of the ashen basilisk, granting a glimpse of a world lost in time. The mirror of a banshee, offering clarity of the soul.¡± Finally, she took out the final memento of her hardships ¡­ and swallowed a deep breath. It sparkled in her palm. A thing which even as a broken shard was more beautiful and rare than anything she would likely ever see. She hoped to never need it again. ¡°Crown of the Winter Queen, ruler of a season passed. By these relics, I call upon the veil of eternity. Let the embers reveal what once was, and allow the past to burn anew ¡­ [Dream Of The Forgotten].¡± Magic blossomed in answer throughout the scorched tower. And Marina waited. The sweat formed upon her brows as she stared into the heart of the flames. But there was no uncertainty. No doubt even as the flames flickered and began to settle. After all¨Cthis was more than a magic incantation. It was a witchly one, the required reagents drawn to cast a spell so old that she had pieced it together from both parchment and scraps of bark. That she herself was the Witch of Calamity couldn¡¯t have been a finer coincidence. Meaning it was never that at all. Even so¨CMarina stared into fire. And then the fire stared at her. What happened next swept her off her feet. She had violated a law of the world. And all the world pushed back. Memories, colours, emotions all coursed through her mind. Overpowering. Overbearing. Days, months and years crashed into her, sending her spiralling like a ship caught in a whirlpool. Again and again her vision spun as images dragged her thoughts in every direction. Every moment. She saw figures she¡¯d never seen, faces she didn¡¯t know, voices she¡¯d never heard. All was dark. All was scowling. And all was seething. All except for one. She caught a smile and a whistling hum. Stillness came as sudden as the dropping of an anchor. Then, for a moment so fragile she dared not raise her eyes, she glimpsed the sight of a home now lost. An evening when all was quiet, save for a fire burning within a stove and a figure tending to a pot. Marina dared to look upwards. As the faintest gasp left her lips, the edges of the image darkened like water creeping upon a page. She held herself steady, forcing herself, focusing even as the weight of the world sought to usher her away. There she was. Apron, ponytail and overly loose cardigan, as serene and carefree as the many burned pots waiting in the sink would dare to suggest. Roseline Lainsfont. A terrible cook. An even worse knitter. And a very lost mother. A decade later and her whereabouts were unknown. Most believed she¡¯d befallen tragedy at the hands of flames. A common enough cause. But Marina knew otherwise. After all¨C Her mother was the only mage more talented than she was. Suddenly, the stirring ceased. And as though drawn to an unexpected sound, she turned and blinked past her shoulder. Not at some unseen corner. But at her. Puzzlement filled a face as familiar today as it was a decade ago. As intuition defied impossibility, she left her cooking pot, academic curiosity lighting up her warm eyes as she approached with a poking fingertip raised. Yet whatever ethereal cheek she hoped to prod, her attention was drawn instead to a white envelope swooping in like a diving swan through the window. All thoughts Marina had of raising her own fingertip in turn were forced aside at once. She watched instead as panic overtook her mother as she read the contents. That panic turned to frantic pacing in circles. To desperate concern. And then finally¨Ca cupboard being opened. Marina couldn¡¯t believe it. Out came a broom. The same crooked one she could always remember. So crooked, in fact, that it was clearly more suited to anything else other than sweeping. A suitcase promptly followed, lifted from the very back of the cupboard. Out it came upon the table, sending out dust so thick it clouded even whatever magical eye Marina was gifted. It didn¡¯t matter how much there was. She could still see the robes of violet and black that were practically flung out. The absurdly large hat finished with a crumpled tip. That the suitcase was always there in the cupboard where the monsters were supposedly residing filled Marina with nothing but exasperation. It was gone a moment later, replaced by a surge of triumph, joy ¡­ and also extreme confusion. Because even as her mother struggled to fling her robes on, she still rushed to write a message, spilling ink from a pot as she left a hurried note on the back of the very same letter she¡¯d received. It was all there, waiting upon the table as she rushed out of sight, her hat possibly worn the wrong way and a broomstick in hand. An explanation. Marina could see it, the words so scribbled they were an unreadable scrawl. But it was there. And still all that awaited Marina and her father¡¯s return that very same evening were ashes and cinders. That¡¯s when she realised¨C Her mother was leaving the house ¡­ without putting the stove fire out first. ¡°Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo ¡­ !!¡± Marina cried out in equal horror and indignation. She reached out, willing herself against every force. And this time, she failed to find her footing. As she stepped forwards, the ground broke before her. She was flailing, falling, tumbling through an ocean of colours without a horizon. It was the sight she saw for a fraction of a moment whenever she teleported. And now it was constant. Like a picture frame she could not escape. Marina found herself sinking. Drowning. Fading. Click. And then¨Cshe found herself blinking up at the sight of a promiscuous smile. Golden and ruby eyes looked down at her. ¡°Ah.¡± The Dealer tilted her head slightly, drawing attention towards her fingers having just snapped Marina from the abyss. ¡°How fortunate. I see you won your gamble. Beginner¡¯s luck is such a lovely thing, is it not?¡± Marina blinked again. It took her several moments to realise she was on her back. On the hard floor. The bed of ashes had been completely spent, leaving only what remained underneath. Relief unlike anything she¡¯d ever known filled her. Not only because she¡¯d been spared whatever waited at the bottom of the sea, but also because she now knew the truth. Her mother was very much a witch. And something had drawn her away. Something urgent. Something desperate. Something unresolved. ¡­ And something to think about after regaining her senses. ¡°Thank you,¡± she murmured, her voice scarcely more than a groan. ¡°I did nothing,¡± replied the Dealer simply. ¡°But you¡¯re welcome nonetheless.¡± Marina took a deep breath. She raised herself, sitting up as best she could. She failed. Her head spun around and around, her vision swirling as all sense of vertigo left her like a belated punch to both her stomach and her face. Instead, she waited for the worst of the nausea to pass, eyes blinking repeatedly as normal colours filled her eyes, albeit most of it scorched black. Then, she gave a nod, her brows furrowing as she thought to her next task. ¡°I need to find the witches.¡± The Dealer smiled. ¡°Oh? ¡­ But the realm of the witches is such a perilous place. They do not entertain guests. Not even one they would call the Witch of Calamity. Should you force entry through the door, you may find even your hand to be scorched.¡± Marina gingerly stood up. Her hands brushed down her travelling attire. An increasingly familiar motion. For even as the flakes of ash went spiralling away, she knew she¡¯d soon be doing it again. Witches. She never once considered that anything could be more tiresome than other mages. Yet even before they¡¯d hid themselves from their peers, witches were already outcasts in the world of magical academia. After all, anything a bumbling apprentice could do, a witch could do worse. Somehow. But that was fine. Marina knew what to do now. For every problem, there was a solution. This meant handling it just like she did most things these days. Subtly. With lots of fire. Chapter 375: Spring Cleaning Morning came with the scent of sugar, spice and something I wisely chose not to ask about. Ordinarily, Coppelia and I would signal our departure from any village, town or market by first patroning whichever bakery enticed us with the most shameless offers. By doing so, we not only secured crucial provisions for the day ahead, but also instilled the importance of bribery when it came to earning royal favours. Today, however ¡­ things were different. Being a bridge catering towards travellers, ruffians and merchants, alcohol was plentiful but hazelnut croissants were few and far between. And since the proprietor of the only local bakery had officially vanished under mysterious circumstances, drastic measures were required. So drastic, in fact, that I didn¡¯t know what variety of croissant Coppelia was currently making. Rather¨C ¡°Hmm.¡± I wasn¡¯t even certain what colour it was. Here in a kitchen once belonging to a scheming auntie, I stood beside my loyal handmaiden as she kneaded, no tenderised, no ¡­ assailed a block of dough in a mixing bowl. ¡°La la laa lala laa la ?.¡± Yes. The Bakery de Coppelia was officially open for business. Despite this, there were no other customers. Possibly because they could hear the dough squeaking in anguish. Or maybe even the humming helping to drown it. With a smile as bright as the many mixing bowls already tossed to the side, Coppelia enthusiastically worked to ensure I wouldn¡¯t starve on the road ahead. And while the rainbow nature of the dough was somewhat counterintuitive to my wellbeing, I could at least rest assured in the knowledge that no matter what she made, I¡¯d already been gifted a sight worthy of my delight. Coppelia wearing an apron. I smiled with a clap of my hands. ¡°My, this looks utterly wonderful!¡± ¡°Heheh~ you think so, too, huh? This is gonna be amazing.¡± I nodded fervently. In keeping with her delicate nature, Coppelia wasn¡¯t simply mushing dough together. ¡­ Rather, she was mushing dough while wearing appropriate attire as well! Ohohohoho! Indeed, as wonderful as it was to see her hard at work, even greater was the sight of her wearing a kitchen staple! True, the yellow and dotted nature of this particular apron only just about matched her golden hair and did very little for her rosy pink shoes ¡­ but even so! It was still a wondrous premonition for what was to come! As my loyal handmaiden, it was only fitting for her to be assigned her own uniform. And if a simple apron which she¡¯d need to remove before any witnesses saw looked fitting on her, this meant that come her official uniform, she¡¯d look even better! I could already picture it in my princess¡¯s eye. A splendid, bespoke garment halfway between a dress gown and a traditional maid¡¯s clothing, with enough buttons and ribbons to upstage not only the handmaidens of other princesses, but even the princesses themselves! Why, she¡¯d look absolutely wonderful! ¡°Pass~¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°You¡¯re making that suspicious face again. Whatever you¡¯re thinking, the answer is pass.¡± ¡°C-Coppelia! I would never think anything suspicious!¡± I said as my hands measured the width of her shoulders. ¡°Hmm. Frills here should do just fine ¡­¡± Coppelia responded with a tilt of her head, her smile becoming oddly fixed. A moment later, she proceeded to do the only thing to possibly break the image in my head. She scooped up a sacrifice of multi-coloured dough and squeezed it into a ball. Then with a nod of satisfaction, she duly presented it to me. I looked down in appropriate confusion. ¡°Do ¡­ Do you require assistance or ¡­ ?¡± ¡°Nope. It¡¯s done!¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°Breakfast is done. Also lunch and dinner. I made extras. Loads.¡± I continued staring. And not touching. ¡°O-Oohohoho ¡­ is, is that so? That was considerably swifter than what I was expecting. Why, I notice you appear to have used quite a few ingredients. Some of which came from your pouch. Of things. Does it need not, well ¡­ baking? Extensively, perhaps?¡± ¡°Ahaha~ not at all! It¡¯s ready to eat. This is a smoothie bun.¡± ¡°A smoothie bun.¡± ¡°Mmh! Give it a try!¡± I blinked down at the offered smoothie bun. Hmm. How novel. The world of haute cuisine had once attempted to pass off a lemon meringue tart infused with the acid of a bilebelly toad as a delicacy. Yet even that failed to compare to the feeling of doom I experienced while gazing at the offered smoothie bun. Coppelia truly was talented. ¡°My, how wonderful! Despite my princess knowledge regarding all things sweets, pastries and desserts, I¡¯ve never heard of anything so perilous as a smoothie bun before! The texture is so glossy, the colours so innocent and the waft of sugar thick enough to hide what lurks underneath! ¡­ It looks almost harmless!¡± ¡°I know, right?! Here, take a bite!¡± I shook my head with regret. ¡°Unfortunately, I cannot. As delicious as I¡¯m certain this is, I must savour an important memory to come. My first smoothie bun made by your hands must use the finest ingredients curated and inspected rigorously by the Royal Villa¡¯s kitchen. To do anything else would be an insult to your efforts. Until then, I shall satisfy myself with visual nourishment. And also leftover strawberry shortcake.¡± Coppelia¡¯s turquoise eyes lit up. Forgotten at once, the smoothie bun fell from her palm. It made a sizzling noise as it struck the floor. ¡°Ooh, ooh! I¨C¡± I held up my hand at once. ¡°Absolutely not. You had your share.¡± ¡°Booooooooooo~!¡± ¡°Boo the receptionists who failed to bribe us with a large enough cake. Until they provide a better one, view this as a lesson in restraint. Cake should be responsibly indulged for all hours of the day, not simply in one go. Or one bite. Joy must be equally spread or else sadness is permitted to fill the void.¡± Coppelia puffed up a single cheek. Fortunately, her disappointment wasn¡¯t to last. Especially as I poked said cheek. S§×ar?h the N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. As the air ejected from her lips and her face returned to normal, so too did her lackadaisicalness as she settled on the next best thing. A second scoop of a smoothie bun, now tossed straight into her mouth. ¡°Mmmh~ mystery vomit berries! Just like how I remember.¡± As she chewed, an expression of unabashed satisfaction and utter disregard for the melting mixing bowl was bright enough to compete with the morning sunlight. Which was good. We had a busy itinerary ahead of us leisurely sampling all the cr¨ºpes between here and the Royal Villa. And between them¨Ca single appointment. As a draft crept through a hole in the wall caused by someone who all witnesses had sadly missed, a tiny robin flew down and sat upon an exposed brick, its gaze upon the same thing in the distance as all the eyes in the Wessin Bridge the previous evening. A distant tower burning like a candle with all its wax alight. Although the flames had ceased, the smoke still rose. Of the tower itself, nothing but its blackened silhouette remained. An ominous premonition. After all¨C We hadn¡¯t even encountered Miss Lainsfont again yet, and I was already disappointed. ¡°Unacceptable,¡± I said, as I warned the robin away when it peeked at Coppelia¡¯s slowly melting mixing bowl. ¡°That woman has managed to live out the fantasy of every villain without a speck of imagination. She¡¯s awakened with undefined powers of ultimate destruction and the most nefarious thing she¡¯s done is distract the grazing cows by lightly searing a tower.¡± Coppelia swallowed her smoothie bun and beamed. ¡°Mmh, I¡¯m proud of her! It¡¯s really hard to show restraint when you suddenly have a cool title like the Witch of Calamity. That means she¡¯s still holding out for something bigger!¡± ¡°There¡¯s restraint and there¡¯s lacking standards ¡­ why, she hasn¡¯t even arranged that tower¡¯s foundations into a cryptic message pronouncing her intentions to burn down my kingdom! That¡¯s the very least of expectations.¡± ¡°True. I keep hoping to see a [Meteor] just randomly fall down. But I don¡¯t hear any screaming anywhere. It¡¯s terrible.¡± ¡°Indeed, she¡¯s clearly allowing her new found powers to be an excuse for apathy. Frankly, that bodes poorly for the future. It¡¯d simply be awful if each encounter with her was fated to become less impressive each time before she fled.¡± I shook my head with regret. ¡°No ¡­ far better instead to end this on a good note. For her sake, of course.¡± ¡°Ooh! Are we going to try to keep Miss Racy Corset in one place this time?¡± ¡°Indeed we will.¡± I placed my hand upon my chest and smiled. ¡°Ohohoho ¡­ after all, it¡¯s my duty as a princess to keep my kingdom tidy. And nothing is as threatening to my coming schedule as a loose thread. Therefore, this is simply a matter of spring cleaning before my return home.¡± Yes ¡­ it was time to be efficient! Although future me was as kind and beautiful as present me, even she needed a helping hand every now and again. Once we¡¯d passed Wirtzhaven, it wouldn¡¯t be long before we were skirting the border with the Kingdom of Weinstadt and finding ourselves near Rolstein once more. By then, I¡¯d practically be home. And I certainly had no intention of leaving my orchard again for any reason other than to climb the steps to my bedroom. ¡°Our favourite mage was the first nuisance,¡± I said. ¡°But she can also be the last. It is time we offer Miss Marmalade Lainsfont all that I¡¯ve promised. A place on an island where her magic can work to undo all the fires she has caused.¡± Coppelia raised an arm. ¡°Question!¡± ¡°Go ahead.¡± ¡°What do we do about the fact she¡¯s basically a magical eel? I mean, she¡¯s really slippery, what with the way she teleports everywhere. That¡¯s not a thing most mages can do. At least not without losing their face in a chimney. And now she¡¯s got the whole reincarnated aspect of calamity thing.¡± I hummed in thought. True, this would hardly be an easy problem to resolve. She clearly had her talents for magic. I experienced it first hand when she carried me up several flights of stairs to a middling review. And now that she¡¯d been granted additional powers, it meant our next meeting promised to involve her greatest ability now being even stronger. A cackling speech. Now so incredibly long winded that I had no idea how we¡¯d handle staying conscious through it all. ¡­ Fortunately, I also didn¡¯t need to know! That¡¯s right! I was an unparalleled genius! And what I didn''t know today I¡¯d know tomorrow! My only goal was to indulge in leftover shortcake so I could place future me in the best frame of mind! ¡°Ohohoho ¡­ you needn¡¯t fear,¡± I declared confidently. ¡°I shall simply offer a means to calm the flames of her anguished soul. One way or another. Why, I¡¯ve yet to offer her the balm of my angelic smile or the wide range of options she has available to her. Soap Island has expanded greatly. With additional roles beyond just soap making, I¡¯m certain we can find something which will satisfy her.¡± Thus¨CI smiled and turned. ¡°... Come, Coppelia! The shadows may have rescinded, but the flames still loom over the horizon! It is time we offer Miss Marinara a graceful exit from the stage! For the sake of this fair kingdom and all the sleep I need to catch up on, we shall close the curtains on her tale of calamity!¡± Coppelia raised her mixing bowl in joy. ¡°Got it! I¡¯ll start making mailboxes while I look for magical ducks~!¡± I nodded and smiled, happy she understood the intricacies of my plan. After all, there were already more than enough calamities in my kingdom. They were the mice dancing in the ceiling. The adventurers disturbing the cats from doing their jobs. The nobility who drank their fill of wine in my father¡¯s court. And a harbinger of doom whose smile regularly caused more damage than any meteor a mage could summon. But for anything my smile couldn¡¯t fix, I was certain a well written letter in a mailbox would do. And if nothing else, well¨C I leaned forwards and scooped up a hazardous smoothie bun. There were things more dangerous than magical ducks or mailboxes I could punt at her. Chapter 376: Where The Snow Drifts Those who resided in the Duchy of Triese had long grown accustomed to ignoring whatever occurred in the Kingdom of Tirea. Occasionally, the people here would lift their heads and ponder over a strange noise, blinding light or plume of smoke to rise from their neighbours, but that was only ever a passing moment before their thoughts turned to matters closer at home. As proud citizens of one of the smallest, but not the least of the 22 duchies which made up the Grand Duchy of Granholtz, every farmer, merchant and craftsman firmly had their ears directed towards whatever gossip and scandal they could snigger at concerning their more immediate rivals instead. Although Triese was far from the comings and goings of the Duchy Capital, that failed to dampen the pride of its residents. And for good reason. Triese was well regarded by the rest of Granholtz. Or at least as well regarded as anyone would admit. A natural lack of proximity with the stuffy politics of the capital combined with its tidy, cobbled streets adorned with rows of wildflowers made it a welcome retreat for those who could afford the artisanal crafts for which it was famed ¡­ providing, of course, that they could also ignore the strange noises coming from their neighbour. Today in the provincial capital of Triese, all was mercifully calm. In an upmarket district peppered with pristine boutiques, the wealthy and the influential gathered to peruse the windows. Immaculately groomed cats slipped between them, their tastes so refined they would not accept even the scraps from the caf¨¦s boasting fragrances from all across the world. Only in the Atelier Lauchelle could a hint of commotion be found. Here within a shop famed for its striking dresses, its clientele of young noble women regularly forgot the grandstanding they were raised to display. Instead, they betrayed gasps alongside curious peeks between their fingertips, all the while daring to consider a gown with far too revealing a cut or too bold a shade of violet. Each was a customer so sheltered they would readily faint if a mouse so much as scurried past. And currently¨C ¡°W-W-What should we do ¡­ ?¡± ¡°Perhaps ¡­ Perhaps we need to call the guards ¡­¡± ¡°Just ¡­ Just don¡¯t make eye contact ¡­ don¡¯t look and everything will be okay.¡± They were holding onto each other for dear life. Pale faces filled the bright shop as arms and legs quivered, the customers huddling alongside the staff behind the counter. Amidst the quiet sobbing, only a few steps could be heard as a brave soul made her way towards the door, only to stop, cowed by the slight squeaking of the floorboard and the attention it might earn. Because there ¡­ in the corner of the atelier was the most alarming thing they had ever seen. Quack, quack. A pair of ducks. White, fluffy ¡­ and with one of them boasting an unnaturally yellow beak. They pecked away at their leisure, permanently scarring the hems of immaculately woven dresses by lightly creasing them. It was a barbaric display beyond the experiences of any present. Even so, it wasn¡¯t the alarming presence of these dangerous, wild creatures so far from the pond they inhabited that neither customers nor staff dared to issue a complaint. Rather ¡­ it was because of her. ¡°Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm ¡­¡± A beautiful elven maiden. A slim frame. Silver hair. Unblemished skin. Youthful complexion. She was the very image of an elven princess more often seen in portraits and the drawings of fairytales than in a clothing shop. Indeed, contrary to popular belief, even elves could suffer from clammy skin or a wrinkle every now and again. However ¡­ despite the refined features of her face, she failed to match the dress code. Arranged more distressingly than any vagrant to have ever skulked past the gated entrances of the surrounding houses, she boasted dirt, mud and bits of leaves upon both her travelling attire and her hair. The cloak she wore wasn¡¯t only frayed. It was damp. Dripping, even. Almost as though she¡¯d recently swam in a lake. She hadn¡¯t, of course. That¡¯d be silly. And Ophelia the Snow Dancer wasn¡¯t silly. On the contrary, she was the only normal elf in the world. And she was also missing a boot. That meant she¡¯d never go swimming in a lake. People would laugh at her if she did. Instead, the dampness was because a giant toad had believed Duck A to be a worthwhile snack. It took only after a few seconds of choking to realise this was very much not the case. Yet even after toweling Duck A off, the mucus still stuck to her cloak and bits of Duck A¡¯s feathers. But that was fine. After all, she was here in a shop she¡¯d never once burgled several years ago for a very important reason. Ophelia was making the hardest decision of her life. ¡­ Choosing a dress suitable to wear while murdering or marrying a princess. The elven woman thought. And then she thought some more, her brows denting as she looked between two dresses held ¡­ no, scrunched up in either hand. This was a problem. And Ophelia wasn¡¯t used to problems. Usually, she just needed to fling her sword and problems went away. As an A-rank sword saint, life was automatically easy. Too easy. That¡¯s why she never needed to think about what to wear or which colours didn¡¯t look gross. Whatever she wore, she was still a beautiful, A-rank elven sword saint. This time, however, that wasn¡¯t enough. After all¨C Ophelia needed to impress royalty ¡­ and also return some of the stuff she stole. S~ea??h the Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. That meant meeting a king and a queen. Except that the last time she¡¯d visited a royal court, she¡¯d been scowled at by everyone. And while she could learn to not talk while eating, put her boots on the table or loudly ask nobility she¡¯d never met before how their assassination plans were coming along, having to wear something appropriate was something she needed to do ahead of time. Eventually, she settled on the lighter dress in one hand, before opting for the darker one in the other. Her eyes swept left and right like a twitchy owl as she repeated the process again and again, barely hearing anything other than her own humming. Pwam! Or indeed, the door suddenly crashing open. ¡°¨CAll right, ladies, you know the drill,¡± called a jovial voice alongside the waltz of heavy footsteps. ¡°Coin pouches out, jewellery on the ground. Let¡¯s make this a quick one, shall we?¡± ¡°H-How dare you! Who are you people?! ¡­ This establishment belongs to Lord Horin Rennasch!¡± ¡°Yeah. And your lord¡¯s been borrowing from the wrong people. We¡¯ve come to collect. Now, you and your customers need only present your loose change. All of it. That¡¯ll be enough to cover the interest. Until we need to come again.¡± ¡°You ¡­ You cannot ¡­ the guards will hear of this!¡± ¡°The guards hear what we tell them to hear. But don¡¯t worry. You can voice your complaints to your good lord¨Cafter you¡¯ve turned your coin pouches out. Every one of you.¡± Ophelia closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she found she didn¡¯t like either of the dresses. Immediately tossing them to the floor, she began her search for alternatives, walking up and down while eying the various mannequins. ¡°That¡¯s right. No need to make this difficult. We¡¯ll soon be on our way. You can enjoy the offerings of this fine store and ¡­ hey, you there.¡± Then, she stopped. The realisation came as suddenly as the nearby sound of clinking coins coming to a stop. She was Ophelia the Snow Dancer. Not Ophelia the Apprentice Sister. Here she was, considering which black and white habit to pick when what she really needed was something scandalous. If she dressed boring, then everyone would think she was boring. There was little point in pretending to be demure when all that did was to stab herself in the foot. She needed something to stand out. ¡°... Oi. You. What do you think you¡¯re doing?¡± Of course, if she really wanted to maximise shock points, she¡¯d just go naked. That was definitely something other elves would do. But since she was well-adjusted, fashionable and not at all out of her league because she spent all day either in her cottage or generally being a menace to society, she knew that was unlikely to do anything than put her in prison. She¡¯d done that already. It was boring. ¡°Hey. You. I¡¯m talking to you. Elf. Didn¡¯t you hear me? What do you think you¡¯re playing at? Everyone includes you. Coin pouch. Now. Don¡¯t think pretending you can¡¯t hear means we¡¯ll let you be.¡± To her surprise, she soon found what she wanted. She reached up and felt the hem of a dress yet to be pecked by her friendly ducks. Likely since it was considerably more daring than most of the others. This one didn¡¯t trail across the floor like a carpet. It even stopped before the knees. Shameful. ¡­ She liked it! Anything long was bound to be a problem. She needed something practical enough to jump around in. ¡°Fine. That was your last warning. Don¡¯t think you can just ignore me. Look over here you¨Cpfftttfftffft?!¡± Ophelia casually elbowed somebody¡¯s face. The sound of a crack filled the air, followed by the sound of gurgling somewhere on the floor and her humming as she considered whether or not it was worth asking for this dress in other colours. ¡°M-My gods! She just took out Big Merry.¡± ¡°His ¡­ His face ¡­ I think his face is broken ¡­¡± ¡°What the heck was that? ¡­ Hey, guys, what do we do?¡± ¡°... What do you mean what do we do? Was it Big Merry who got smacked or you? That was an accident. She¡¯s not even paying attention. You. New kid. Go teach her a lesson.¡± ¡°Yeah ¡­ Yeah, you¡¯re right ¡­ hey, hey you! We gave you the easy way out, but if you want to do this the hard way, that¡¯s on you! Now, you can either hand over what you got or¨Cbwughhhhhhhh.¡± Ophelia made a decision. She was already getting ahead of herself. She needed to start from the bottom. Literally. Because as her only boot found itself slamming into the sternum of someone angrily approaching, she realised it didn¡¯t matter what she wore if her toes were still showing. ¡°Peter?!¡± ¡°S-She kicked him right into the wall! Hey, I don¡¯t think that woman¡¯s normal! I ¡­ I got a real bad feeling about this!¡± ¡°Cram your feelings! Use your eyes! She¡¯s ¡­ She¡¯s got no weapons! We jump her together! Now!¡± Ophelia spent a moment looking around. Thankfully, she instantly found what she was looking for. Beneath the display tables in the centre of the atelier, tips of ladylike shoes were teasingly peeking out. Evading the wildly thrown punches, she leaned down and scooped up the first pair. Then ¡­ she began testing the quality of the workmanship via the faces of those hurtling towards her. ¡°W-Wait! Wait, stop, stop! I¡¯m sorry! Stop, I won¡¯t¨Cpwaaah?!¡± ¡°Nooooooooooo, get away from me!¡± ¡°I ¡­ I surrender! Please, take everything I have, just don¡¯t¨Caaaahhhh!!¡± A few moments later, Ophelia admired the durability of the shoes. They were better than her own. Or at least the one she still owned. Despite the vigorous testing, only a few scuffs were visible. Knowing where to start, she decided to seek professional advice. Stepping over the twitching and gurgling bodies littering the floor around her, she scooted over to the member of staff behind the counter. Her eyes were as wide as her mouth, an expression of shock upon her face mirrored by all those huddling behind her. ¡°Hi there,¡± said Ophelia, holding up the slightly damaged pair of shoes. ¡°I want something like this. But maybe in a smaller size. I also need a dress that screams feminine wiles but also classiness. Because that¡¯s what I am. Classy. Can you help?¡± Silence was her answer. Eyes blinked in synchronised unison. And then¨C ¡°Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!¡± A chorus of joy as the atelier¡¯s patrons rushed forwards to fawn over her. In moments, she was being tugged in all directions like a new doll in a toy shop, the dirt and leaves magically vanishing from her hair as a brush subtly appeared amidst the commotion. ¡°O-Of course! We¡¯d be delighted! It¡¯s ¡­ It¡¯s yours! Anything that you want, you can have! Thank you ¡­ Thank you so much for saving us from those brigands!¡± Breathless agreement filled the air. Eyes sparkling with admiration surrounded the Snow Dancer. Ophelia was surprised. Not by her popularity, of course. That was normal. It¡¯s just that she was pretty sure there was a poster with her face on it just beneath the counter reminding everyone she was banned. She must have grown an extra eyelash since then. That was great. It meant she could burgle the town again. ¡°Really! Thanks. I think I¡¯m going to try on everything and see what sticks.¡± ¡°Of ¡­ Of course! I¡¯ll show you our entire inventory! If I can help, I will!¡± ¡°Great! In that case, do you know where the dragon is?¡± ¡°The ¡­ dragon?¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± Ophelia pointed at the nearest banner on the wall. She never had to look far to find one. ¡°That guy. Nobody will tell me where he is.¡± The staff member stared. Her smile of joy erred towards confusion. ¡°Are you perhaps referring to Valerian the Revered, Patron Guardian of the Grand Duchy of Granholtz?¡± ¡°Mmh. That¡¯s the one. I need him. For reasons not to do with illicit activities.¡± Only quiet confusion met her in answer. Ordinarily, this was where Ophelia would make things simple by saying she was here to kill a dragon so she could get an S-rank certificate. She learned not to. Because apparently, killing a dragon here was considered either highly offensive or a good joke depending on which guard questioned her. It was a very odd place. ¡°G-Goodness, that¡¯s quite the endeavour! I can tell already that you must have a noble heart to go along with your strength! ¡­ May I ask why you¡¯re searching for Valerian the Revered?¡± ¡°Well, to make a short story even shorter, there¡¯s this princess. She can make something called a [Big Ball Of Doom]. It¡¯s huge and amazing. So now I need to do something huge and amazing too.¡± Gasps immediately met her. Much to Ophelia¡¯s mild despair, she recognised the tone. It was the same one used by noble ladies when they were gossiping in the corner while everyone pretended they weren¡¯t trading terrible literature. ¡°I see! ¡­ Well, you certainly wouldn¡¯t be the first with such an ambition! But I¡¯m afraid that while earning an audience with our nation¡¯s most sacred defender would be highly impressive, it¡¯s said that only the Grand Duchess knows where Valerian the Revered resides.¡± Ophelia let out a groan. Now she had to ask the Grand Duchess. That meant scaling her tower. She had no idea how she was supposed to do that without looking suspicious. If the guards saw her, they¡¯d never think she just wanted to ask an innocent question about murder. ¡°H-However! If ¡­ If you¡¯re seeking accolades to your name, have you perhaps considered challenging the Wandering Guest ¡­ ?¡± ¡°The who?¡± ¡°The Wandering Guest. I¡¯m surprised you haven¡¯t heard. She¡¯s made quite the name for herself already. Rumour has it that she¡¯s a powerful fae in the guise of an elderly lady.¡± Ophelia¡¯s curiosity was piqued at once. She¡¯d had more than her fair share of experiences with the fae. And while most of them boasted more impressive wings than they did swordsmanship, a few did at least manage to earn a faint spot in her memories. Any fae who was brash enough to ignore their laws to wander the mortal realm was at least worth a stab. ¡°Really? What does this fae do?¡± ¡°She sits beneath a waterfall just outside of Triese. People from all over seek her wisdom. But some also challenge her to contests of strength. So far, none have been able to defeat her.¡± Ophelia¡¯s interest almost deflated at once. Someone who sat beneath a waterfall was definitely the type of person who said lines like ¡®to master the sword is to master the soul.¡¯ Ophelia had left the forests filled with elven swordmasters who also thought they were poets specifically so that she wouldn¡¯t have to deal with stuff like that any longer. ¡°Hmm, is she a swordswoman?¡± ¡°Um, no ¡­ from what I¡¯ve heard, she isn¡¯t.¡± ¡°Oh. What does she use, then? A spear?¡± ¡°No, I, uh ¡­ I believe she uses a walking cane.¡± Ophelia blinked in puzzlement. Then, she gave it a moment of consideration and smiled. Apparently, it was time to pay the elderly her respects. But first things first¨Cit was time to choose her new dress. And also shoes. Chapter 377: The Wandering Guest Ophelia was ready for the soir¨¦e. ¡­ But was the soir¨¦e ready for her? A black dress with a white bodice, complete with golden trimmings, buttons and other decorations she didn¡¯t know the words for. Formal gloves reaching all the way past her elbow, so soft that anyone she punched would be sent hurtling away with a smile. Yes. The elven maiden was satisfied. She was officially even more stunning than before. Carriages would literally eject their passengers hoping to carry her instead. Which would be hilarious. But as chaotic to public transportation as her new attire was, the most pleasing thing was her new footwear. Ballroom shoes. They were as sparkly as they were impractical. The type of shoes which looked better than they were comfortable. And that was great. Because the more people looked at her shoes, the less they¡¯d see Ophelia¡¯s sword. There was only one problem. She still didn¡¯t have a sword. It wasn¡¯t that she was being picky. She just didn¡¯t need one¨Cmost of the time. Having grown up in an elven forest, she¡¯d learned how to defend herself using nothing more than her forehead. Not just because it was one of the best methods for beating away a brown bear, but also because it was an important means of communication. Bird calls, whistles and singing were all well and good, but when it came to avoiding the neighbourhood aunties because they simply didn¡¯t understand that Ophelia had a life outside entertaining them, nothing quite beat slamming her head into the base of their treehouses. But right now¨C She had a feeling she should have asked the nice shop staff if they also had any swords. All around her, a beautiful meadow shone. Nestled within one of Triese¡¯s many picturesque valleys, it was a painting come to life. Wildflowers mingled with hopping bunnies while sparrows danced with the foxes trying to nibble them. And that meant someone was about to be stabbed. It was always like that. Because as pretty as a flowery meadow looked, it only stayed pretty because someone was willing to indulge unhealthy amounts of stress making sure it was kept that way. Now whenever Ophelia visited a nice meadow, she readily accepted someone was about to murder her. This time was no different Because people were far too serious. And if it wasn¡¯t gold that they wanted just because she stepped on a dandelion, what they usually demanded was blood. Or lacking that ¡­ knee caps. ¡°Uuuughhhh ¡­¡± ¡°That ¡­ That hag ¡­ she¡¯ll pay for this ¡­¡± ¡°Why ¡­ Why does the pain ¡­ only keep getting worse?¡± ¡°Wandering Guest ¡­ More like Wandering Witch!¡± Disturbing the tranquility was a line of hobbling men and women. Some were adorned in shining armour. Others like adventurers fresh from their first dive in a cellar. Yet no matter how far they were on their personal journey of eventually being eaten by something bigger than themselves, all did the same thing. Clutching their knees while complaining. A battlefield of the walking wounded awaited Ophelia¡¯s curiosity. As she unhurriedly skipped past while demonstrating full use of her ligaments, glares of both warning and envy met her. Each grimace beneath the bright sunshine spoke of a different tale. But they all concluded the same way. Rejection. And the source ¡­ was her. An elderly lady. Not a fae pretending to be an elderly lady. Not a dryad pretending to be an elderly lady. Not even a dwarf pretending to be an elderly lady while trying to get around a tavern blacklist, which she¡¯d seen more times than she could count. But very much an elderly human lady. However, even though she was decidedly human, Ophelia knew at once she wasn¡¯t normal. After all¨C Clink. She was drinking tea while sitting before a small waterfall. Her cup made a delicate noise as it settled onto a saucer ¡­ all the while she ignored the foam spraying at her back. That¡¯s what the parasols were for. A whole bunch had been erected like a makeshift canopy, defending her hair and her furniture. A small table, round and white, plus two chairs. One for her ¡­ and one for whoever wanted their knees whacked by the glossy cane resting against the side of the table. The Wandering Guest. Monopolising the very end of the meadow like it was her corner of the world, she wore an outfit good for riding. A fitted jacket, breeches and tall boots. A picture of activity. Although she was aged, the years had been kind to her. The wrinkles were soft against the sunlight, with only a few streaks of silver highlighting her hair. Plenty of the black strands still remained, stubbornly refusing to turn into a feeble grey. Ophelia blinked several times. She¡¯d never seen her before. But the posture was all too familiar. It was someone who had a lot of money. Which meant she¡¯d probably robbed her before. Thus, she turned to her waiting ducks with a nod. ¡°... Okay! It¡¯s best behaviour time! Either the old lady is going to give me a bucket of wisdom or she¡¯s strong enough that I can poke her and call it a victory! ¡­ That means no nibbling. Got it?¡± Quack, quack. Duck A and Duck B answered in unison, each giving a flap of their wings. Ophelia smiled in satisfaction. Then, she made her way over to the table, skipping over the fallen figure of a guy still rolling back and forth on the grass while clutching his knee. ¡°Hi there! I¡¯m¨C¡± The elderly lady tapped at the table. ¡°Offering,¡± she said, without sparing a glance as she poured from a teapot into her cup. The other lay empty. Ophelia tilted her head in thought. A moment later, she took a seat opposite the lady ¡­ all the while leaning down and scooping up both ducks. She placed them onto the table, filling up what little room remained. ¡°You can pet Duck A and Duck B,¡± she said magnanimously. The elderly lady studied the friendly ducks. Her gaze settled on Duck A. Several seconds passed. ¡°... Very well,¡± she said with a nod. ¡°You may remain. Tea?¡± ¡°Sure.¡± ¡°Not for you. The duck. This one has quite the regal disposition.¡± Tea poured into the extra cup. It was nudged towards Duck A as soon as it filled. Ophelia could only nod in agreement. Sear?h the nov§×lF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. After all, she has the same impression. Even though Duck A attracted a lot of unwanted attention, everyone who tried to kidnap it at least did it with really good posture. ¡°You¡¯ve fine company,¡± said the elderly lady, her tone brisk as she made it clear this would be a very short conversation. ¡°A welcome reprieve from the mobs which have sought my attention so far, each larger than the last. Just a few moments ago, I wondered whether or not I was being mistaken for a troll needing to be haggled down.¡± ¡°They¡¯re probably scared because they think you¡¯re a fae.¡± Ophelia paused. ¡°... Or a witch.¡± ¡°A preposterous notion. Both fae and witches live dull lives. I do not.¡± ¡°Witches and fae can fly.¡± ¡°Yes. And I am retired. Which means I¡¯m free to explore the world where others are still chained to their daily doldrums and overly uncomfortable chairs.¡± ¡°Oh. Is that why you¡¯re called the Wandering Guest?¡± ¡°No, I¡¯m called that because people lack imagination. I never give my name except to hasten my daughter¡¯s first grey hair. But it¡¯s true that I wander where I will and that I¡¯m a guest wherever that might be.¡± Ophelia was impressed. She wasn¡¯t welcome anywhere. Which was fair. ¡°Really? Nobody ever said no?¡± ¡°Frequently.¡± The elderly lady sipped her tea. ¡°But few ever say no twice. Particularly due to the tourism revenue I bring with the services I most certainly do not advertise. So go on. How may I help you, knowing I am very much neither a fae nor a witch capable of granting all that you desire?¡± Ophelia hummed. ¡°Do you know a dragon?¡± A brow raised in response. ¡°I make it a point not to know dragons. I find them overly talkative even by my standards. They are bores, and if I can give any advice, it is that you seek your adventure elsewhere.¡± ¡°Actually, I¡¯m not looking for an adventure. Pretty much the opposite. I just want to quickly kill a dragon. I need a fang or a scale or a head. Just something to officially get me to S-rank.¡± ¡°An uninspiring goal. Accolades are no different to rain. An evening monopolised and then forgotten to sunshine the next day.¡± ¡°Well, I¡¯m not doing it just for the accolades. I¡¯m deciding whether or not to marry or murder a princess, and I figure I definitely need to be S-rank to not embarrass myself while doing it.¡± ¡°I see.¡± The elderly lady took another sip of her tea. And then¨C Swish. As swift as a diving swallow, she snatched her walking cane and sent it directly towards her knee. Despite her age, she was fast. But more impressive was her natural sense of misdirection. Even an entire queue of people knowing their knees were in danger wouldn¡¯t be able to evade such a close strike. Ophelia did it 5 times, her knees swerving beneath the table until she sat cross legged on her chair. A moment passed. Both offered the other a silent nod of acknowledgement. ¡°You¡¯re unsuitable to do either,¡± declared the elderly lady, her cane casually returning to the side of the table. ¡°I suggest you make other plans.¡± ¡°Is that because I¡¯m not a princess? ¡°No. It¡¯s because you haven¡¯t offered to refill my tea even though I¡¯ve been sipping from an empty cup. Whether it¡¯s murder or marriage you desire, princesses may only associate with those who meet a certain social standard. My apologies, but this is simply out of your reach.¡± Ophelia gave a hum, utterly unperturbed. ¡°But what about S-rank?¡± ¡°A romanticised title no different than knighthood, with a much heavier burden of acceptance to carry than what you¡¯ll find in the pages of fairytales. You will need to have achieved your rank in the name of loyal service, not to coins, warlords or personal glory. Have you performed many great deeds of selfless chivalry and unimpeachable honour to that effect?¡± ¡°Yes,¡± said Ophelia, lying as easily as she breathed. The elderly lady raised a brow. ¡°... In that case, perhaps the least of princesses might be a match for you. I dare say there are enough of them in Granholtz, all proudly clinging to their names a century after being stripped of all their worth.¡± ¡°Actually, this one¡¯s definitely a real princess. She¡¯s part of the Tirea royal family.¡± A pause. ¡°Really now.¡± The elderly lady¡¯s voice suddenly lost all tone. It was now flat and expressionless. ¡°You wish to murder or marry a princess from the Kingdom of Tirea?¡± ¡°Yup!¡± ¡°I see. Princess Florella caught your eye, I take it? She¡¯s quite the model princess.¡± ¡°Nope. Never met her. It¡¯s the other one.¡± ¡°... Princess Clarise? She¡¯s certainly a bright spark in this dreary world.¡± ¡°Nope. The other.¡± The elderly lady blinked. ¡°¡­ Juliette?¡± ¡°That¡¯s the one!¡± Yet again, another pause. ¡°Juliette. The Juliette who cares nothing for marriage and will gladly escape to the ends of the world in order to avoid all mention of it? ¡­ And you wish to marry her? You?¡± ¡°Or murder, sure!¡± Ophelia smiled brightly. ¡°It¡¯s a long story. But she¡¯s hilarious and I don¡¯t hate that.¡± The elderly lady simply stared. Silence filled the air between them. Ophelia allowed the time to pass while watching the cane. It didn¡¯t move. In fact, nothing did. And so after several long, awkward moments, she did what any other elf in her place would do. She stood up. ¡°Okay! It was nice to meet you. I appreciate your time. I¡¯m just going to¨C¡± ¡°Sit.¡± ¡°Right. Sitting.¡± ¡°What is your name, girl?¡± ¡°Ophelia.¡± ¡°Ophelia.¡± The elderly lady studied her carefully. Like a piece of pottery being valued. Eventually, her eyes narrowed in familiar recognition. ¡°... You. Would you happen to be the Snow Dancer?¡± ¡°Yup! That¡¯s me.¡± A nod went her way. The elderly lady refilled both tea cups. Ophelia didn¡¯t know when Duck A¡¯s had been drunk. And then¨C ¡°Heh.¡± There came a laugh. ¡°Heheheheh ¡­ heheheheheh.¡± No, not a laugh. But a gentle cackle. Like something halfway between what an evil mistress would emit while gently stroking a cobra and a how a farm girl would innocently giggle at her first dance. Ophelia waited for it to end ¡­ all the while a sense of foreboding began to tickle the back of her neck. She counted the exits all around her. ¡°... Ah. I see.¡± The elderly lady smiled, making no mention of the concerning laughter. ¡°So you already have a title, lesser though it may be in the official rolls. But you¡¯re correct in thinking you need more. To associate with a princess, you must be worthy. And currently, you are not.¡± Ophelia shrugged. ¡°That¡¯s what the dragon¡¯s for. And also the fancy shoes.¡± Suddenly, the elderly lady stood up. Her expression was the same as her back. Straight and proud. The cane useless as anything other than a prop. And also a knee breaker. ¡°The shoes you need,¡± she said briskly. ¡°But not the dragon. You require something else.¡± Ophelia blinked. ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± ¡°Etiquette lessons.¡± The elderly lady lifted her cane. And then¨C She lightly flicked the end against her tea cup, launching it towards Ophelia. Chapter 378: Blood, Sweat, But Never Tears Ophelia never went out much. That¡¯s not to say she was a hermit or anything. She just liked staying indoors for long periods of time. Usually in the homes of aristocrats who didn¡¯t know she was there. Long before Duke Valence had cleverly bribed her with promises of annoying the fae, she¡¯d already visited Aquina Castle on multiple occasions, whistling while nudging portraits, tipping over vases and occasionally groaning into an echoing corridor just to make him certain that the place was haunted. The reason was simple. She thought it was funny. ¡­ Plus nobody bothered her while she was burgling. Going outside was a hassle. Buying things even more so. She was popular. And that meant as far as everyone was concerned, she was rich. Which she wasn¡¯t. She owned her own cottage with a pond, true. But while nobody had a cottage with a pond quite as nice as hers, it definitely didn¡¯t put her in the same tier as the people whose manors and castles she visited. In fact, she didn¡¯t really have much in the way of crowns at all. Mostly since she didn¡¯t need any. But that at least officially made her poor. Despite this, she couldn¡¯t walk down a market street without vendors practically lobbing stuff at her. As she now discovered, this also included quaint meadows in the middle of nowhere. Ophelia shifted half an inch. It was enough for the towering stack of things she neither needed nor asked for to teeter precariously in her arms. First it¡¯d been a tea cup. Then it was a tea pot. And then it was everything else Even the wealthiest travellers only possessed the smallest of bottomless pouches. But this elderly lady had something better. And bigger. A bottomless suitcase ¡­ and all inside of it was being flung towards Ophelia¡¯s direction. Mortar and pestles. Rolls of parchment. A basket of eggs. A portable clay oven pot. Sewing needles. Mixing bowls. A shovel. Sheets of fabric. Porcelain vases. Bags of sugar. Fruit knives. Balls of thread. Bottles of ink. A lyre. Leaning slightly down, the elderly lady went through the handsome walnut suitcase tucked away beneath her wall of parasols. A haze of colour was sent to her side as each item, knick-knack or ingredient found itself atop the growing pile in Ophelia¡¯s arms. Until ¡­ it all came to a stop. The bundle of stuff rose past Ophelia¡¯s head like a wobbling steeple. The lyre balanced precariously, as fragile as a quill on the edge of a fingernail. When it ceased to move, silence came as her reward. But not for long. ¡°Yeaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!!¡± A cry of joy erupted from the watching audience. All around her, broad smiles and whooping cheers sounded as a semi-circle of pilgrims raised their fists in synchronised relief. Those who¡¯d come seeking the Wandering Guest¡¯s wisdom were no longer tutting at Ophelia for hogging the supposed fae¡¯s time. Instead, they were her steadfast allies along with those who¡¯d slowly returned, their fear of a wayward cane pushed to one side as they celebrated one of their own. The only visitor who hadn¡¯t yet left with an aching knee. Such was the strength of the exhilaration that the pile of stuff threatened to flounder. An experience more stressful for those watching than Ophelia herself. In fact, she found this fun. Even among elves, she was gifted with enough natural dexterity that she could probably juggle the pile on her head. A feat likely to impress everybody except the one who¡¯d caused it. Suddenly, the suitcase snapped to a close. The elderly lady resumed her unbending posture, before making her way back to the small table. Now bereft of the tea set that¡¯d been transferred to Ophelia¡¯s arms, she sat down and neatly clasped her hands on her lap, the cane resting innocently to the side once again. ¡°I have a single question for you, Snow Dancer,¡± she said briskly. ¡°When presenting yourself before a princess, what is the correct etiquette?¡± Ophelia did her best to peer around the haphazard pile. ¡°To not yawn,¡± she replied confidently, having read as much as two sentences on the matter. ¡°Incorrect.¡± ¡°What? Really?¡± ¡°To not yawn is to wear an appalling expression. Your cheeks would clamp up. Such a dire expression would turn any princess¡¯s head. That you do not want. As one seeking their favour, you are but a dot on a schedule which can be easily removed. You do not demand a princess¡¯s attention. You earn it. To do otherwise is both unwise and uncouth.¡± ¡°... Soooo I should yawn? Tonsils and everything?¡± ¡°No. But if the choice presents itself, then know that a yawn is one of the more forgivable sins. Few things happen at a royal court which do not instil boredom. Regardless, the correct etiquette is to be invisible. To be there when required and air the next. If you wish to associate with a princess, you must therefore be useful. Are you useful, Snow Dancer?¡± Ophelia nodded at once. The elderly lady frowned. And so Ophelia slowly shook her head instead. ¡°Exactly. You are not. A princess doesn¡¯t need to look further than her many knights to find someone capable of swinging a sword. But if you believe yourself to be more than this, then I shall offer an opportunity to prove it, providing my guidance along the way. Should you pass my evaluation, you shall be fit to trouble a princess.¡± Ophelia believed her right away. After all, nobody became a wise old lady sitting before a waterfall if they weren¡¯t willing to back their own credentials. ¡°Okay, I can be useful! ¡­ What do you want? Tea?¡± S~ea??h the N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. ¡°As a matter of fact, yes.¡± ¡°Great! You sit right there and I¡¯ll pour you some. Using the same tea pot you just gave me.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve no desire for that tea. It was so bitter I could see my daughter¡¯s reflection upon it. You may discard it and replace it with something more refreshing. Peppermint, perhaps. Freshly picked.¡± ¡°No problem! I¡¯ll just go and find¨C¡± ¡°You may also create a light nibble to go along with it. A classical mille-feuille vanille fraise will do. Additionally, please demonstrate your tactfulness by drafting a letter rejecting the 2nd son of a duke rumoured to be the offspring of a 3rd mistress. Compose a lyrical poem with use of the lyre based on the ill-fated engagement of Lilia the Red to Olfus the Orange. And display your handiwork by crafting a cushion to replace my own, showing the entire process of cutting, sewing, stuffing and finishing.¡± The elderly lady paused, allowing her demands to linger along with the open mouths of all to hear her. ¡°... Can you do this?¡± she asked, her tone making it clear she expected little in answer. Ophelia blinked. It was a daunting list. Tea making, baking, letter writing, songwriting and cushion making were all skills which needed countless hours to master in order to reach a standard fit to impress a princess. That¡¯s why¨C ¡°Easy.¡± If Ophelia had sleeves, she¡¯d be rolling them up. After all, she was more than the most normal elf in the world. She was an A-rank elven sword saint. And that meant she was constantly bored. As a consequence, she now had so many hobbies related to arts and crafts that finding something she¡¯d never done before was a challenge in itself. ¡°... Okay! Do you want it in that order?¡± ¡°No. I want it all at the same time. The only guarantee regarding a princess and her whims is that they do not come with completion dates. They must be fulfilled both promptly and simultaneously.¡± Ophelia nodded. Then, she enthusiastically dropped everything in her arms. Expensive pottery, baking equipment, sewing tools and writing utensils immediately formed a chaotic pile for her to sort through. Several bits and pieces rolled to the side. The elderly lady made no comment. Yet. ¡°I don¡¯t see any peppermint,¡± she said, flicking through for any wayward leaves. ¡°There¡¯s a patch of high quality leaves growing in the nearby woodlands. You can find them amidst the brambles, vines and exploding corpse flowers.¡± ¡°Got it! Feathers for the cushions?¡± ¡°A cockatrice nest atop the sheer vertical cliffs overlooking this valley. There should be a plentiful amount of its feathers. Pray it does not return from its hunt while you¡¯re collecting them.¡± It was all Ophelia needed to know. She gave a simple point to her friendly ducks to remain where they were. ¡­ And then off she went. As casually as a young girl doing her household chores, Ophelia skipped into the nearby woodlands, passing through bush and bramble as she avoided the exploding corpse flowers which self-immolated whenever a passing flick of her new dress brushed against them. After collecting the nicest smelling peppermint, she duly went upwards, latching herself onto the base of the nearest cliff before climbing with all the skill of a seasoned cat burglar. Ignoring the wind batting the hair against her eyes, she reached a precipice so high that all the world was nothing more than a haze of clouds. A dive into a messy cockatrice nest later, she bundled an armful of feathers into a tidy roll before climbing down again. She hopped onto a plateau halfway down, skipping the rest of the way down in such a way that if she were anyone else, a shop worker in a fancy atelier would be fainting over the certain scuffs to her glittery new shoes. Instead ¡­ Ophelia did it with little more than a flick of her hair, returning without a single blemish. She was met by wild acclaim. Not by the elderly lady, who sat like a portrait whose eyes were trained on her every motion. Instead, the applause came from all her audience, their hollering loud amidst the scenes of them trading crowns and taking bets. Ophelia didn¡¯t see why. The outcome was already decided. ¡°Shadows step from silver glass. A thousand fractures amidst a single truth ¡­ Snow Helix Form, 7th Stance ¡­ [Mirror Reflection].¡± With a confident smile, she put all of her survival skills on display as she proceeded to do everything. All at the same time. In a flurry of rushing movement, Ophelia the Snow Dancer became a blur of productivity. Her arms whisked together ingredients into a mixing bowl while a mirror image of herself simultaneously measured, cut, stuffed and sewed together a soft cushion. A quill scribbled against a sheet of parchment in elegant handwriting while another plucked the strings of a lyre as the words to a poem she¡¯d already written in the back of her mind came to fruition. She was a tornado of motion. And through it all¨Ca pot of peppermint tea steamed upon a small flame conjured using twigs and leaves. ¡°... Done!¡± Betraying only a single drop of sweat after using what was definitely not something she designed to use against a princess and not for whisking together cake, Ophelia presented her work. Upon the small table was a mille-feuille vanille fraise conveniently baked in a fraction of the time it normally would require by virtue of a magical pot. A cushion soft enough to instantly fall asleep on. A letter that was tactful as defined by Ophelia. And a cup of peppermint tea so fresh it tickled the nose. She smiled as she readied a lyre in her arms. ¡°Go ahead,¡± she said. ¡°You can start with any¨C¡± ¡°Oversteeped. Begin again.¡± The elderly lady only made it as far as glancing at the cup of peppermint tea. Ophelia nodded ¡­ all the while waiting for the rest of the comments. ¡°Oh yeah. That¡¯s my fault. I should have done that all the way at the very end. And the rest?¡± ¡°There is no rest. You must begin again. Not simply with the tea. But everything.¡± Ophelia stared ¡­ as did the perfectly plump cushion and the well made cake. ¡°But shouldn¡¯t you try the rest? They might be amazing.¡± ¡°They are not. If the first step is insufficient, then why sample the rest? If the scent of the tea leaves is enough to leave a poor impression, then that will bleed into what remains. Do not suggest that the standards of princesses are so low as to allow imperfections. Therefore, you must begin again.¡± The elderly lady leaned forwards. A hint of a dark smile played at her lips. ¡°... Unless you¡¯ve no desire to. A cliff only becomes taller each time it¡¯s climbed. And from my experience, exploding corpse flowers only become more aggravated with each disturbance. If that¡¯s that case, I suggest you move aside so that¨C¡± ¡°Hm hmm hmh mm hm ?.¡± Leaving a maidenly humming behind her, Ophelia dropped the lyre and skipped back towards the forest inhabited by exploding plant monsters. And also the clifftop with a live cockatrice nest. Again. A short time later¨C ¡°[Mirror Reflection].¡± Ophelia was a blur of movement. Now with slightly more than a single bead of sweat upon her, she repeated the steps she¡¯d previously taken, now with an added impetus on the tea as she ensured it was brewed only in the final moments. This time, there was no outright rejection. The elderly lady carefully examined the fragrance of the peppermint tea as it was presented to her alongside the table now doubled up with items. Then, she raised it to her lips. ¡°Too weak,¡± she said simply. ¡°... Begin again.¡± Ophelia stared. And then she went, repeating the process another time. ¡°The base of the mille-feuille is overly crumbly. Begin again.¡± And another time. ¡°The letter is too direct. You must insult the addressee, not his entire bloodline. Begin again.¡± And another time. ¡°The poem requires another stanza. The rhyming couplets must be closer. Begin again.¡± And another time. ¡°The cushion is needlessly soft. All I feel are my own bones. Begin again.¡± And another time. Even if it was a hairline fault in a strawberry she wasn¡¯t even responsible for, the complaints continued without end ¡­ as did the sweat upon Ophelia¡¯s brow as she climbed a cliff, ventured into a forest and abused one of her most taxing techniques. As she worked, her efforts were punctuated only by the occasional comment. A reminder that there was no shame in abandoning this folly. Indeed. Nobody would blame her for quitting. As the Snow Dancer, she had important matters to attend to other than perfecting a mille-feuille she¡¯d only tried once before and was just working off memory. But Ophelia had only one purpose in life. There was a reason why she¡¯d left her comfortable cottage behind. Why, despite all the time she¡¯d spent being as unbeholden to responsibility as a spring breeze, that she was now more focused than any unreasonable challenge could thwart. What it was ¡­ she could not remember. And so it was that this day, a legend would be created. A tale told amidst dying hearths and flickering candles by mothers to children, barkeepers to customers, farmers to strangers. That here in the Duchy of Triese, an elven maiden defied all calls of sanity and showed her will to survive. Again and again, she continued even as the sweat weighed her down along with the aching of her muscles. Until eventually¨C ¡°Haah ¡­ haaah ¡­ haaa.¡± She waited as she played the last note of her borrowed lyre. Long gone was the bright daylight greeting her efforts. As dusk painted the horizon, her silhouette burned beneath the setting sun. A marvel of dauntless inflexibility, undying willpower and a fire which burned brighter than any twilight sky. Only one thing matched it. The shadows brought forth by the cliffs were punctuated by an endless sea of candles lit in silent vigil. The crowd which had begun out of curiosity had swelled as news of the insane elven maiden reached every corner of Triese. Now they all watched, their hearts upon sleeves as the elderly lady sat imposingly, a statue of judgement, her brows dented in premonition of what was to come. There was no sound of cheers. No optimism. Only silent prayer and the clinking of coins as a donation tray was set up in Ophelia¡¯s benefit. ¡°... Acceptable.¡± And then ¡­ there came an answer. A simple, almost kind response. Silence and disbelief filled the quiet air. Somewhere, a shopkeeper sighed in relief. A cockatrice nodded in approval. A princess shivered. And then¨C ¡°Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!¡± Led by Ophelia the Snow Dancer, the cries of joy resounded so loudly that even a Grand Duchess in her white tower could take note. There had been blood and sweat ¡­ but no tears. For even as her silver bangs was now a darkened blob against her sweaty forehead and her fingers continually spasmed from her delicate sewing work, she had continued to maintain her dignity. Ophelia had triumphed. If only. ¡°Just acceptable,¡± said the elderly lady with a nod. ¡°But a passing mark by me is a passing mark by any princess. My congratulations.¡± Ophelia wore a drunken smile. Which was weird. She definitely hadn¡¯t put any alcohol in that peppermint tea. Even though she wanted to. ¡°Great! ¡­ I can¡¯t remember why I was doing this, but I¡¯m happy I did!¡± ¡°You did it in order to earn the right to approach a princess. In which case, there remains one final evaluation you must pass. But you needn''t worry. This one you should pass with ease.¡± ¡°Mmh?¡± Ophelia simply continued to smile as she enjoyed eating one of the many delicious looking cakes on the table in front of her. She had no idea who made them. But they were really good. ¡°Whaff evalfuation?¡± The elderly lady returned her smile. She picked up her walking cane. ¡°It is time for a dance.¡± Chapter 379: A Maiden’s Decision Ophelia had no idea how this happened. All she knew was that she hoped nobody would blame her once somebody got stabbed. Because somehow, that was always her fault. Displaying her elegant footwork and graceful posture, she twirled, skipped and spun, all the while the farmers, shopkeepers and pilgrims followed. None did it as nicely as her, of course. She was finesse defined, her silver hair and new dress billowing in the breeze as she painted the image of an elven maiden dancing in a meadow engulfed by moonlight. In truth, she was just trying not to gain another bump on her head. Because right now¨C Swish. Ophelia was pretty sure the elderly lady was trying to murder her. Amidst the laughter and the carnival atmosphere, a swipe came in the form of a wooden cane, brushing at the strands of her hair where her delicate forehead was just a moment ago. And then came another. And another. A wallop at her nose. A poke at her back. A jab at her knee. As a curtain of stars painted the night sky and all the world enjoyed a moment of frivolousness devoid of the petty squabbles of yesterday, Ophelia was a mirage of elegant footwork. The more she dodged, the more the cheers rose, encouraged by the copious amounts of alcohol which were now rolling in by the cartload. As though a call to arms had been sounded, all the barkeepers of Triese had turned up to do business. And with them came the musicians. Bards with flutes against their lips and coins already in their purses playing away into the night, none realising that Ophelia wasn¡¯t actually dancing to their songs. She was simply trying to survive. The elderly lady stalked around her like a panther eyeing its prey. Her cane prodded and poked to test her victim. And so far, she¡¯d seen just enough not to lunge forwards and eat her. ¡°You¡¯ve some talent,¡± she noted, sounding neither impressed nor displeased. ¡°But perhaps this should be no surprise. Elves are famed for their contribution to dance as an art form.¡± Ophelia almost snorted. That was just propaganda. Elves didn¡¯t dance. They frolicked. There was a difference. And if someone ever saw what elven dancing looked like, they¡¯d remember it. Mostly because of the blood. So much blood. Fortunately, that wasn¡¯t required this evening. Ophelia had seen enough non-bloody dance from all the times she¡¯d been invited to Aquina¡¯s court because something important was happening. And that always meant dancing. And a free buffet. ¡°Yup! That¡¯s me. Ophelia the Snow Dancer. Classically trained in all the secret elven arts. Plus, could you imagine how embarrassing it¡¯d be for someone named the Snow Dancer if they couldn¡¯t dance?¡± ¡°I simply said talented. That by itself is not sufficient. Yours is not the correct form for use in a soir¨¦e. Less twirling, more swaying is required. Presenting a princess with the back of your head is one thing. But a bundle of your hair in her face is quite another.¡± Ophelia wanted to protest. Her hair was lovely. Anybody would want it in their face. Swish. Instead ¡­ the cane threatened to wallop her knee. She skipped away from it. Strangely, it wasn¡¯t easy. Ophelia could dodge most things directed against her. But while the walking cane wasn¡¯t as swift as a flying arrow, she had to constantly remind herself that it was even there. The elderly lady had a commanding presence. Her gaze alone was like a seasoned rogue¡¯s misdirection technique, relentlessly drawing her attention. That was a powerful skill. Naturally, Ophelia had questions¨Call of them concerning why she was currently evading a wooden stick. Although she wasn¡¯t an expert in ballroom dancing, she suspected that this wasn¡¯t really part of the usual routine ¡­ nor, indeed, the ankle as it slyly stuck out to unravel her. Ophelia reacted at once. As the memories returned of tripping over a certain princess¡¯s foot and flying into a pillar of stone, she avoided the swinging cane and the opportunistic ankle by somersaulting over both, drawing an ¡®Ooooh¡¯ from those in the crowd not drunk enough to forget they were there. ¡°Hm. You¡¯re slippery,¡± said the elderly lady, in what was one of the least obvious compliments she¡¯d ever received. ¡°That¡¯s useful. To dance is to converse with movement. In order to convey it properly, you must maintain balance no matter what seeks to interrupt you.¡± ¡°... You mean like people throwing canes around whenever a princess is dancing?¡± ¡°Worse. They throw elbows, fists and foreheads. A soir¨¦e is a constant melee. A brawl disguised as a dance. Whatever you think a tavern can boast, a royal court can do it worse.¡± Ophelia was shocked. She had no idea soir¨¦es could be so fun. ¡°However,¡± continued the elderly lady, lifting her cane like a finger. ¡°To simply remain on your feet is not enough. You must ensure your partner also stays on hers. A princess must be allowed to shine. And there are few better ways to sabotage this than by an elbow to the nose. You must always be on guard.¡± ¡°Oh, that¡¯s easy. I¡¯m always on guard. You won¡¯t believe the number of things which try to kidnap my ducks when I¡¯m not looking.¡± ¡°I¡¯m certain I won¡¯t. But much like whatever underwater horrors stalk your ducks, you shall also find the lowest inhabitants of the underworld circling the edges of the royal court. And in a soir¨¦e, you will also just as likely find a blade in the dark as a wayward elbow.¡± ¡°Stop. You¡¯ve already sold me. You don¡¯t need to anymore. When is the next soir¨¦e?¡± The elderly lady briefly closed her eyes. ¡°Your enthusiasm should be tempered,¡± she said, pretending she hadn¡¯t just hesitated. ¡°To dance with a princess is a high favour with an equal amount of danger. You yourself would be targeted in the middle of your finest twirl, with no thought given to letting your talents be showcased.¡± ¡°Now that¡¯s just rude. Even I¡¯d wait for someone to finish twirling before doing what I normally do. Which definitely isn¡¯t always violent.¡± ¡°An honourable gesture. And also unlikely to be returned. For those in the shadows, every distraction is an opportunity. There is, however, one important positive note regarding assassins.¡± She paused for just a moment, her cane finding the ground as though to stamp home a point. ¡°... When every distraction is an opportunity, they also become wildly predictable.¡± Ophelia sensed it before she saw it. A glint of iron as a dagger flew through the air. Without hesitation, she swept up her leg, catching the thrown weapon with the end of her sharp heel. Panicked movement from within the crowd revealed the culprit. As a man dressed as a common merchant began to scamper away, Ophelia took off her shoe altogether ¡­ before returning his throw with her own. Her shoe flew with unerring precision, neatly catching the back of the assailant¡¯s head. The cry as he thudded to the ground was so foreign it caused the music from the bards to slow. A moment later¨C It ceased entirely. They came as though they¡¯d been lying in wait. A dozen men armed with heavy warbows revealed themselves beneath the moonlight. Their figures looming imposingly from atop the waterfall¡¯s precipice. Each wore the same black expression, matching the armour almost hidden by the backdrop of the night sky. Ophelia was impressed. They were pretending their boots weren¡¯t already soaking wet from the stream they were standing in. That was commitment. As were the perfectly matching armaments. Paid killers. Likely archers from one of Granholtz¡¯s endless mercenary companies plying their trade in this land of rivalry and wealth. Once they left, there¡¯d probably be a piece of evidence accidentally linking them to whatever would be corroborated by all the present witnesses. Whoever hired them, it wasn¡¯t for discretion. ¡°Heh ¡­ and to think we got paid extra to find you,¡± said the leader with a shameless smile, his voice stilling everything but the gasps of horror which rose at the sight of so many armed men. ¡°It¡¯s not often I feel like I¡¯ve ripped someone off. You¡¯ve my appreciation for making this even easier.¡± Ophelia blinked. The eyes of every archer were focused in her direction. She pointed at herself. ¡°Me?¡± ¡°What? ¡­ No, not you. Her.¡± The leader of the mercenaries deliberately pointed just a bit too much to the side. ¡°The grandma.¡± The grandma in question responded by doing very little. Her eyes neither narrowed in ire nor widened in shock. She simply looked upwards without expression, as though seeing something so ordinary it wasn¡¯t worth any emotion one way or the other. The mercenary leader waited, clearly expecting something more substantial. ¡°A-Ahem ¡­ I¡¯m sorry to say, but you should have picked a quieter hiding spot. Few match your description. I don¡¯t know who you are or what you did when you were younger, but you¡¯ve made enemies with long memories and deep purses. The Falcon¡¯s Talon Company is not for all to hire.¡± Ophelia groaned as the first of the arrows were notched. They were doing so well. Now they¡¯d gotten their feet wet and clammy for no reason. There was no point making an entrance if they were just going to say who they were. Mystique was half the reason any of them were hired. An amateur mistake. The elderly lady was in agreement. She idly turned to Ophelia, having expended all the few seconds of attention she was willing to offer. ¡°These will do,¡± she said, as if nibbling on the mille-feuille which was definitely better than that. ¡°... Assume I am a princess. Bearing in mind the watching audience, what they will say and the need to maintain both my life and dignity, what do you do?¡± Ophelia hummed as the bows were theatrically drawn in synchronisation. She knew there was a right answer somewhere. But she also knew they were probably dumb answers as well. Because if she found a row of assassins presenting themselves on the high ground while doing the whole smug thing, she returned the smugness by bringing them closer to home. Normally, that is. ¡°Say, do you have a sword?¡± asked Ophelia. ¡°I don¡¯t actually have one right now. I threw mine away.¡± The elderly lady raised an eyebrow, making it clear that the sword saint without a sword had just lost several points. Then, she twisted the end of her cane, drawing forth a blade so fine that it perfectly reflected the moonlight. Ophelia offered her admiration as it was duly handed over to her. ¡°Fortunately, this is an open contract,¡± continued the mercenary leader, his hand raised like an emperor ready to lower or wave away. ¡°As professionals, we are willing to negotiate a possible¨C¡± ¡°From the heart of winter¡¯s sky, the path of light is severed ¡­ Snow Helix Form, 3rd Stance ¡­ [Aurora Divide].¡± Whatever the mercenary leader hoped to say, it was replaced by a look of surprise as Ophelia suddenly sliced the air before her, leaving only a fine trail reminiscent of stardust in the blade¡¯s wake. And then ¡­ nothing happened. ¡°... Showing off, eh?¡± The mercenary leader chuckled. ¡°Sadly for you, arrows beat swords.¡± Bowstrings tightened as a hand was raised once more. Not to drop, but to notch an arrow for himself. He never made it. Bwooooooooooooooooooooosh. The shape of the waterfall changed as the very cliff behind it shattered. Stone and dirt crumbled, and all upon it were left to flounder and scream as they fell like specks of a landslide down into the waiting body of water. Bows sank at once as their wielders fought to not do the same, consumed by the weight of their leather armour now as sodden as their boots. Desperation filled the air at once, the sound of spluttering and hands clawing at the water disturbed only by the quacking of a pair of ducks who floated by them. ¡°Ooooooooooooooooooooooh!!¡± A heartbeat later, even they were drowned out. Cheers erupted, the mirth so loud that all of Triese would soon arrive. Calls for more ale came thick and fast, the song of flutes resuming as every patron received their annual dose of entertainment in a single day and evening. Ophelia, in the meanwhile, nodded in satisfaction. It¡¯d been a while since she¡¯d sliced off a cliff, but she knew this was a new record. Her [Aurora Divide] had become stronger. Nor was she the only one to think so. ¡°Casual disregard.¡± The elderly lady¡¯s lips almost twisted into a smile. ¡°A single strike. Neither movements nor words wasted. An appropriate response, Snow Dancer. Your tale speaks truly ¡­ save for a single falsehood.¡± ¡°Really? I mean, it¡¯s not like I write it. Or care. Much. What¡¯s not true?¡± In response, the elderly lady dipped her hand past the folds of her jacket. She retrieved a small notebook from the inner lining. Opening it, she turned to a blank page, an enchanted quill already in her hand as she began to write. Even without seeing what words were being scribbled, Ophelia could tell from the fine movements that the handwriting was exceptional. A moment later ¡­ she was allowed to admire it as the page was torn away and presented to her. I hereby assign Ophelia the Snow Dancer the rank of ¡®S¡¯. Eliana Contzen, The Queen Emerita of the Kingdom of Tirea. ¡°Your rank required updating,¡± said the former queen simply. Ophelia stared. She blinked several times at the short, but beautifully written message now in her hands. She then did the same towards the writer. ¡°Oh,¡± she said, hoping she hadn¡¯t said something illegal. ¡°... Can you do that?¡± ¡°I am a former queen. I can do anything. Even more so now I¡¯m retired. And fortunately for you, my judgement carries more weight than any swordmaster you could appease. Amusing me is far harder than killing a dragon.¡± Ophelia looked between the page and the retired queen of the Kingdom of Tirea. She continued to blink while ignoring the calls for help behind her. Eliana Contzen. The mother of the current queen. And also that crazy princess¡¯s grandmother. Then ¡­ she peered up at a nearby cliff she¡¯d climbed multiple times just to fetch feathers for a cushion, before glancing at a table stacked with all the things she¡¯d made with her sweat and blood. But mostly sweat. Ophelia was pretty sure killing a dragon was also easier. ¡°Wooooooooooooo!¡± Regardless, she lifted the makeshift certificate to the night sky ¡­ just before scooting over to the unconscious man she¡¯d knocked out with her shoe. She stuffed it back on, then drew another raised eyebrow as she nodded towards the elderly lady. ¡°Okay! That¡¯s step 1 done! ¡­ Now to do step 2!¡± ¡°Oh? Are you leaving already?¡± ¡°Sure! After all, I¡¯ve made my decision.¡± ¡°Your decision ¡­ regarding what?¡± Ophelia the Snow Dancer gave a maiden¡¯s smile. She turned towards the direction where she¡¯d come from. It was time to head back. S~ea??h the N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. ¡°Whether to marry or murder a princess.¡± Chapter 380: A Bridge Too Far In the forests south of the Wessin Bridge, a haze of morning light flickered between the vibrant leaves. Seeking ever to revitalise itself upon me, the sun burned brightly overhead, shamelessly absorbing the glow from my skin without so much as a gold crown tossed into my bottomless pouch as payment. It wasn¡¯t the only thing to do so. All around me, Mother Nature basked in my presence. And that included all of her children. Wild boars dug their tusks into the soil. Packs of young wolves frolicked amidst the tufts of grass. Giant spiders weaved webs of silk only to lounge upon them like hammocks. And fruit slimes bounced like gelatinous bunnies, ever in search of discarded watermelon rinds. Creatures so common that as Apple leisurely trotted along the dirt trail, he neither paused nor slowed. Which was normal even if they were man eating fire breathing death beetles or common drunks. Except that this time, he didn¡¯t even spare a thought towards a dismissive snort. Like a dragon to a lamb, he viewed even the wolves which usually preyed upon horses as the unworthy adversaries they were. As a royal steed, Apple understood that he was only permitted to be cowed by my displeasure whenever his mane defied all attempts to smoothen it out. With one exception. Indeed ¡­ there was one thing Apple knew to fear. It was the same thing I did. A creature so terrifying that even as a princess, my hands could only grip tightly around Apple¡¯s reins, ready to urge him into the gallop only the greatest peril could force. And while a guild receptionist thankfully hadn¡¯t yet showed up, those who they dealt with had. ¡°Yaaah ¡­ !¡± ¡°I ¡­ I got you!¡± ¡°Y-You¡¯re not getting away!¡± Yes. Those in the category just above fruit slimes. Pests so weak they were barely worthy of a passing glance. Brand new adventurers. My hands went to my mouth. They should have gone to my eyes instead. Here and there, I saw a flash of copper amidst the edges of the forest, so close to the road that if they succumbed to the fruit slimes they were bullying, a passing traveller would need to deliberately expend effort in order to ignore them. More concerning were the budding heroes amongst the new recruits. Young men and women still with the mud from their morning farming session upon their faces. Each was equipped in their finest hand-me-downs. Loosely fitting linen with pads of quilted armour and rusted knives considerably less sharp than the looks of concentration upon their faces. They sprinted all the same, chasing after the wolves idly flicking their tails towards them as they effortlessly bounded away. Crucial training for when the tabby cats escaped from their hands. I was horrified. ¡°This ¡­ This is awful,¡± I said, my gasp barely escaping through my fingers. Beside me, Coppelia looked up with a tilt of her head. And also an apple strudel in her mouth. ¡°Mmh~? I think it¡¯s pretty good, though? Crunchy but fluffy. Buttery without being heavy.¡± ¡°What? No, I¡¯m not referring to the apple strudel ¡­ or rather, I am, it¡¯s below par. There¡¯s neither enough apple nor strudel. Just like there isn¡¯t enough of a reason to explain them ... why, these are doubtless new adventurers littering my woods!¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± Coppelia blinked at me. ¡°Adventurers. They¡¯re the worst. I hear they blow things up all the time.¡± ¡°Exactly. They cause nothing but trouble and have the lack of self-awareness to even admit it. It is shameless. Even now, they diligently remove the small critters and low level monsters threatening the traders who use this busy road ¡­ Truly, it is a terrible sight.¡± ¡°Eeeeeeeh ¡­ but isn¡¯t that a good thing? Safer roads means happier peasants, right?¡± I fervently shook my head. If only things were so simple. ¡°With each fruit slime punted away by something other than a gentle breeze, the Adventurer¡¯s Guild as a whole grows more confident. What my kingdom gains in increased security, quality of life and economic confidence is absolutely nothing compared to the most important thing of all¨Cour reputation. If word spreads that adventurers are responsible for shooing away fruit slimes, everyone would lose confidence in our guards. Hence, the kingdom always refuses the guild¡¯s offers. That is a task solely for us to manage.¡± Coppelia hummed, her eyes glancing to the corner of the sky. ¡°You know, now that I think about it, I actually don¡¯t see a lot of common monsters in your forests. It¡¯s mostly just the super dangerous stuff I never tell you about.¡± ¡°Ohohoho ¡­ why, of course.¡± I placed my hand upon my chest and smiled, my mood brightened at once. ¡°Not only are the roads regularly patrolled, but my family directly and loudly employs hunters, wardens and foresters as well.¡± ¡°Uwah~ that actually sounds like something normal royalty would do!¡± ¡°C-Coppelia?! My family represents the gold standard for royalty! Why, we are what others strive to be!¡± My semi-loyal handmaiden giggled, her voice somehow heard over the indignation of my every ancestor. ¡°I mean, it¡¯s true you guys have been around for ages. That¡¯s super impressive. Most royalty kick the bucket to a coup, a family feud or an invasion pretty early on. But you¡¯ve lasted pretty much since the beginning. No matter what people say, your family is definitely doing something right.¡± ¡°E-Excuse me? Who are these ¡­ people? And what do they say, exactly?¡± ¡°... Nothing.¡± ¡°Coppelia!!¡± S~ea??h the novel(F~)ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. ¡°I mean, it¡¯s nothing which isn¡¯t objectively true. You know. Like things catching fire around here. All the time. So much fire. Lookie¨Ceven the place we¡¯re going to was on fire!¡± I pursed my lips. ¡°There¡¯s a mitigating factor for everything,¡± I declared. ¡°And when the woman who is evading us has a penchant for throwing fireballs, we most certainly have an excuse for why everything catches fire.¡± Indeed! Whatever slander was spoken about us, it was nothing but the envy of our enemies. Why, given that a certain town alchemist had somehow earned herself the fabled title of The Witch Of Calamity (self-declared), being commented on regarding any resulting fires was the same as being tutted at for having lots of burning barns while a dragon was attacking. And between the two, I wasn¡¯t certain which I¡¯d prefer. Neither filled me with confidence regarding their soap making skills. Not unless I wanted everything charred. In the near distance, the burned remains of a tower highlighted the necessity of the task ahead. It was so scorched that against the bright sky it appeared like a menacing blot of spilled ink. That was unacceptable. There was only one place such a blackened silhouette was appropriate, and that was an island where a bespoke obsidian castle was being built by a goblin architect. Given Miss Lainsfont¡¯s talents, I was certain she could be involved in the finishing process. Thus¨CI gave a confident nod. ¡°Fortunately, there¡¯s always room to make amends. Whatever her devastating powers of awakened calamity can do, I intend to make appropriate use of it. Perhaps I¡¯ll task her with permanently shooing away the wild boars and fruit slimes from the edges of my forests. Goodness knows it¡¯s needed.¡± Coppelia beamed in response, her skipping becoming slightly more animated at the thought of proportionate justice. ¡°True, there¡¯s no better way to use someone who can throw fireballs than forest management. That¡¯s why we have the fire elemental from the review department also in charge of the treants. But what happens if there¡¯s something bigger than a wild boar or a fruit slime?¡± ¡°Well, I suppose that depends.¡± ¡°On what?¡± ¡°On whether or not it¡¯s still hibernating by the time spring is officially over.¡± Suddenly, Apple came to a stop. The sound of a small river filled the air. The surface gleamed beneath the sunlight as it merrily coursed across the trail, just deep and wide enough to demand its own little wooden bridge. A bridge currently blocked. However, while I had no doubt that I could encourage my loyal steed to traverse any obstacle in our path, I had even less doubt that this particular obstacle would voice disapproval over it. Because there in front of us ¡­ was a bear. A very large, very brown and very fluffy bear. The very picture of an apex woodland predator. Gleaming fur. A button nose. Razor sharp claws. And enough mass that despite not possessing the ability to breathe fire, spew poison or drain the blood of its foes like its more exotic rivals, it had very little trouble carving a home for itself in the depths of any forest. ¡­ And it was sleeping in the middle of the bridge. Just like that. This was a problem. But not for me. ¡°Fwwwwpttt.¡± Instead ¡­ it was a problem for the man who this bear belonged to. Unshaven. Unkempt. And with hair almost as shaggy as Apple¡¯s mane. Drinking from a hip flask, he sat against a tree just a few paces away from the bridge and its very large occupant. Dressed in a weathered cloak and hood which may have once been green and leather so worn that it was now the same hue as the soil, he could easily have been lost against the backdrop of the forest. A powerful advantage for a highwayman. The yew bow by his side was so large that he could have loosed an arrow from deep behind a blueberry bush and none would know. There was only one indication he wasn¡¯t a forest vagrant. And it certainly wasn¡¯t the hip flask. Rather ¡­ it was the fact that several stacks of parchment were lying around him. More was in his lap as he scribbled away, pausing only to sip from whatever mystery drink he needed to get through the day. I raised an eyebrow. How quaint. I hadn¡¯t even voiced my complaint and he was already writing an apology. With a tug on Apple¡¯s reins, I approached the man and offered a polite smile. ¡°Salutations. My apologies, but I cannot help but notice that there is a bear here. Is this your bear?¡± The man looked up. He returned the smile, nodded, then went back to his scribbling. ¡°Nope,¡± he said after a moment. My smile twitched. ¡°This isn''t your bear? ¡­ The bear that you¡¯re sitting only a handful of steps from?¡± ¡°Moka isn¡¯t my bear. I don¡¯t own her. She¡¯s my companion.¡± ¡°I see. You¡¯ve an animal companion. So you¡¯re a ranger of some very stereotypical description. Wonderful. In that case, could you please ask your ¡­ associate to move? This is a public bridge and the bear is blocking the way.¡± ¡°Can¡¯t do that. Sorry.¡± ¡°Why can¡¯t you do that ¡­ ?¡± The man stopped scribbling. He glanced around himself, then swept away a pile of leaves covering a wooden sign also by his side. He stuck it into the ground almost like an afterthought. No Rangers, No Wilderness Fair Pay For Fair Work ¡°I¡¯m on strike,¡± he said calmly, before resuming his writing. My smile only brightened in response, all the while Coppelia immediately began stepping away. That was only natural. She may as well continue going forwards. After all, this was going to be a very brief conversation. Chapter 381: Safety Regulations I clapped my hands in delight. I wasn¡¯t actually delighted, of course. The idea that a grizzled warden of the wilds with his own bear was on strike instead of ensuring my tax inspectors could safely skulk behind every tree and shrub was so ridiculous that I was certain I¡¯d misheard. And that was a problem. Clearly, my ears were in need of rest. They¡¯d been subjected to the worst that hooligans, nobility and stall keepers arguing over cr¨ºpe sizes could offer. And now I was being told a ranger had wilfully downed his bow. Such a thing was highly unlikely, of course. This kingdom was a delicate ecosystem where everybody worked together to ensure a daily supply of fresh mattresses to my bedroom. A state of harmony envied by our neighbours and coveted by our rivals. That¡¯s why¨C Far from telling Apple to remove the tree the man was currently lounging against, I simply had him trot up and nibble away at the sign instead. The only compromise I was willing to budge on. ¡°Uh, lady, your horse is eating my sign.¡± I feigned a gasp. ¡°My, I do apologise! My horse is very diligent, you see. No matter what lies in his path, he¡¯ll continue trotting where I require him to go. And nothing invites peckishness than productivity. Now, please repeat what you just said. Preferably in a way which doesn¡¯t require me to cease smiling in ignorance.¡± The ranger looked up from beneath his weathered hood. He turned away the parchment in his hands away from Apple¡¯s beckoning jaws. ¡°I¡¯m on strike,¡± he said simply. S§×ar?h the N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. I offered a nod. A few moments later¨CI stopped smiling in ignorance. Instead, I pointed with the finger of doom. A rare sight outside of the Royal Villa. Because while common ruffians were no less deserving, they were also not servants of the kingdom. And to be on strike, they first had to be employed. A state of affairs which I was all too happy to resolve. ¡°E-Excuse me?!¡± I said, my mouth wide with disbelief. ¡°What do you mean you¡¯re on strike? ¡­ You¡¯re not allowed to be on strike!¡± The ranger shrugged. A motion so languid he was only missing a sprig of wheat to chew on as well. It was the most egregious thing yet. To throw down his tools was one thing, but to do it with so little vitriol was outrageous. For him to refuse whatever dangerous task he was legally obliged to do was a once-in-a-lifetime affair. If he wanted to strike, he at least needed to do it loudly enough that his later remorse could be seen by all around him. ¡°Well, my old teacher says I should live life as I deem fit. And while I wasn¡¯t always the best student, I like to think I at least took that one piece of advice to heart. I reckon doing anything other than sitting down now would disappoint him.¡± ¡°Is that so? And who would this teacher of yours happen to be, then?¡± ¡°A famed ranger. Bodkins Tangleleaf. I was his apprentice for 2 years.¡± ¡°Excellent. I¡¯ve no idea who that is, but he must truly be skilled to have taught you so well. Why, to be so free of tasks that you¡¯re striking in demand for more is both noble and honourable. But you needn¡¯t fear. My kindness can fill the void. You may therefore begin shooing away the critters harassing the local farmers.¡± I pointed to the side. Not far in the distance, a group of budding adventurers were dangerously allowing their confidence to build. Already, their eyes were on the wild boars digging for food and not the fields waiting to be harvested somewhere behind them. ¡°Can¡¯t, sorry,¡± said the ranger with an idle glance at the farmers. ¡°Like I said, I¡¯m on strike. Besides, this lot are fine. They¡¯re local. They know not to wander deep into the woods.¡± ¡°They might be fine. But not the property they damage, the cats they kidnap and the members of royalty they harrass once they¡¯re allowed to take a single step away from their homes. Will you take responsibility once everything starts blowing up?¡± ¡°Nope. but if you¡¯ve a complaint, you can issue it to my employer.¡± ¡°Very well. And who might your employer be?¡± ¡°The local guard. A sergeant¡¯s hired me to keep the forests around here cleared of vandals. I know it might not look it, but I like to think I¡¯ve done a good job despite the obstacles I face.¡± ¡°What you think and what I see are very different. Because there¡¯s now half a sign in my horse¡¯s mouth where the only visible words are concerned with fair pay. An unworthy complaint. Guards are not troll merchants where numbers change with each passing breath. Remuneration is clearly stated beforehand. What, therefore, is your issue? Were you not paid for your work? Have you been the victim of some injustice?¡± ¡°Oh, it¡¯s nothing like that. I don¡¯t actually have any issues with my pay. I just couldn¡¯t think of a better slogan.¡± I briefly sighed into my palms. ¡°Fine ¡­ then what is the problem?¡± ¡°Workplace safety.¡± ¡°... Excuse me?¡± ¡°Workplace safety. Due diligence hasn¡¯t been observed. The conditions in these forests aren¡¯t good enough. There¡¯s a serious risk of injury.¡± Silence. Nothing answered the ranger¡¯s statement ¡­ save for the snoring of a bear, continuing despite Coppelia¡¯s best efforts to fearlessly poke the very large animal awake. It was like the sound of my father after a productive day with a wheel of camembert. Except that unlike his graceful form as he groaned in regret while slouched over the dining table, I couldn¡¯t pretend to see nothing. Frankly, I couldn¡¯t fault the bear. With a master like this, I¡¯d also wish for the joy of slumber. ¡°Safety ¡­ ?!¡± I threw up my arms in exasperation. ¡°You¡¯re worried about safety?!¡± ¡°Yup.¡± ¡°You¡¯re a ranger! With a bear!¡± ¡°Yeah, that too.¡± ¡°Did you not say you were trained by a famed ranger?!¡± ¡°Sure was. Enough to know when to stick my bow out and when to stick it on the ground instead. Because until I¡¯m satisfied with the conditions around me, I see no reason to offer my time in return.¡± I was incensed. To be a ranger was to be the shadiest person in every tavern corner! They were the hooligans of the wild! Individuals who spent so much time amongst the things which tried to eat them that they were now shunned out of fear they¡¯d grown claws and fangs themselves! Nobody became a ranger in order to be concerned with safety regulations! ¡°This is not striking!¡± I said, pointing at the many stacks of parchment around him. ¡°This is ¡­ this is lazing! As a ranger, your duty is to remove whatever dangers exist ¡­ not wait for someone else to do it!¡± The man resumed scribbling away, his demeanour somehow more lackadaisical than the sleeping bear. ¡°Listen, lady, I respect those who can work no matter the place. I know plenty like that. But I¡¯m not one of them. I¡¯m just doing this for the highly reasonable pay. And right now, there¡¯s an unacceptable amount of risk. Until the guards make this forest safer so I can see out my contract, it¡¯s just me by this tree and Moka on a bridge. Apologies for the inconvenience. You¡¯ll need to take the other bridge for now. It¡¯s just a 10 minute detour.¡± ¡°Excuse me?! I will not accept a single second of any detour! Because of you cowering behind a sleeping bear instead of doing your job, new adventurers will soon be threatening tabby cats everywhere! How do you intend to find work again after this sordid display?!¡± Another shrug came in response. ¡°Probably not by working as a ranger much longer. I¡¯m happy to admit I¡¯ve not the heart for it. It¡¯s not what I want to do. But the time I¡¯ve spent in the wilds has given me time to hone my true craft. My real passion.¡± ¡°And what¡¯s that? Becoming a vagabond, perhaps?¡± ¡°No.¡± The man looked up, his eyes suddenly just a shade brighter. ¡°... I want to be an artist.¡± Before I could even begin questioning his credentials, he lifted up the parchment he was scribbling on and turned it around. All I saw were drawings of fruit slimes. Some bouncing. Some squished. Some with wings. Each very well drawn, yes ¡­ but still fruit slimes. ¡°... Is that it?¡± The man looked indignant. ¡°These are designs for a competition in Reitzlake. A highly renowned sculptor is seeking entries. The winner will have their drawing turned into a work of art. A clay model everyone will buy. This is my chance to be known far and wide.¡± I raised an eyebrow. A moment later, I leaned down and plucked the quill from the man¡¯s hand. Without thought, I swiftly drew the silhouette of a fruit slime submerged in a bathtub in a single, fluid motion. ¡°Done,¡± I said, flicking the quill away. ¡°Now return to your assigned task.¡± The man blinked as he promptly viewed the drawing. A stunned expression filled his face, seeing at once the gulf in artistic talent between an amateur and a princess. ¡°... My job is to clear vandals,¡± he said, shoulders drooping slightly. ¡°Not to face dangers beyond my knowledge.¡± ¡°You have a bear. Tell your bear to look menacing.¡± ¡°Moka isn¡¯t my bear. And she doesn¡¯t want to handle this either. There is something cursed in the forest. An avatar of horror drawing all sorts of evil towards it. If you don¡¯t like the idea of me waiting for the guards, then by all means, you¡¯re free to get rid of it yourself.¡± I was outraged. ¡°Wha¨C! How dare you! Needlessly imperilling myself against whatever hidden monstrosity the guards clearly wanted someone else to soften up first is not my responsibility! It is yours!¡± ¡°I¡¯m afraid I¡¯ll need to reject that. I¡¯m more than happy to work as expected. But I¡¯m simply not equipped to deal with what¡¯s there.¡± ¡°And what is that? A larger than average fruit slime you used as inspiration?¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s not a fruit slime. It¡¯s a ¡­ thing.¡± ¡°A thing ¡­ what thing?¡± ¡°A thing encased ¡­ no, spewing evil. At first, it looks mundane. But it comes alive if you near it.¡± I rolled my eyes in grief. ¡°Is it a cursed seashell?¡± ¡°No. It¡¯s a teapot.¡± ¡°¡­. Excuse me?¡± The man picked up another sheet of parchment from atop a stack and showed it. I leaned in and narrowed my eyes. A crude drawing, sketched by a shaking hand. Even so, the shape was recognisable ¡­ as were the trimmings of a teapot clearly sourced from the Royal Villa. The same as those used exclusively to serve high-grade bergamot and also by Clarise for her various experiments. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. ¡°I know it¡¯s hard to believe,¡± said the man, the air of apathy gone as a serious tone took hold of his voice. ¡°And I¡¯m sure the guards feel the same with how long it¡¯s taking for them to get here. But that teapot ¡­ it¡¯s not normal. I can feel it. Hear it. Like a frigid whisper seeping into my very soul.¡± I pursed my lips. A moment later, I pointed at the ranger. ¡°... I¡¯ll be right back. You saw nothing.¡± Chapter 382: The Blackest Shadow A teapot. Amidst a forest teeming with all the deadly fruit slimes, small animals and nesting robins that any promising adventurer needed to defeat before being deemed worthy to harass lazing cats, here was a test well beyond them. And not just because holding anything as delicate as a teapot was as foreign to them as a handkerchief. Rather ¡­ it was simply because the teapots used by Clarise were slightly changed in the process. What she did, I had no idea. Nobody did. And that was fine. Because the less anybody knew, the less anybody needed to query why plumes of prismatic smoke would often billow from the windows of her observatory. Sometimes accompanied by a hacking cough and the sight of a princess desperately fanning said smoke away with her hands. However, no matter what perfectly reasonable changes she made, a teapot was still a teapot. Even the ones appropriated for deterring unscrupulous hands were still used to pour tea. And so it was that a lingering scent of high quality bergamot was still there to guide Coppelia¡¯s nose through a forest strangely becoming more devoid of life the more we walked. Here and there, crimson eyes, a fang or a spiky tail flashed amidst the shadows stubbornly clinging between the shafts of sunlight. They all made themselves scarce, knowing they hadn¡¯t reserved an appointment to disturb me as I followed behind my loyal handmaiden¡¯s skipping steps and bright humming. Until¨C Sear?h the N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. ¡°Uwaaah~ it¡¯s even better than I expected.¡± We came to a stop. There it was. The culprit behind a lazing ranger and a bear snoozing on a bridge. A perfectly ordinary teapot. White porcelain with a smattering of blue floral motifs and gold trimmings as decoration. Elegant, refined, fragile ¡­ and also enshrouded in a sickly miasma. A purple haze seeped out from both its tip and its lid like steam from a hag¡¯s cauldron. A troubling sight. But nothing compared to the puddle it was lodged in. Although only a few steps wide, it could already be proudly classified as a swamp. Gnarled twigs, shrivelled leaves, darkened sludge and even an acid toad were all on display, waiting for the first princess to dare approach. A somewhat unpleasant welcome, yes ¡­ but nothing I couldn¡¯t handle! Thus, I nodded, clenched my fists in determination, then turned to my loyal handmaiden. ¡°Very well. You may proceed to remove the teapot.¡± ¡°Ahaha~¡± Coppelia flicked her wrist, her wide smile almost causing the fumes to rescind. ¡°You¡¯re so funny sometimes. Asking me to remove the super cursed teapot which belongs to you. I like that.¡± I pursed my lips. ¡°It¡¯s not cursed ¡­ maybe.¡± ¡°It¡¯s so cursed that I can see skulls floating around it. That¡¯s amazing! I¡¯ve never seen an ominous teapot so obviously sinister before, and the library definitely keeps a few.¡± ¡°Yes, well ¡­ this is merely a sign of Clarise¡¯s overwhelming talent. She¡¯s highly adept at pushing the boundaries of what can be made ¡­ even if it sometimes results in fire ¡­ or multicoloured smoke ¡­ or multicoloured fire and normal smoke ¡­¡± ¡°... Are you sure she¡¯s not the Witch of Calamity?¡± ¡°C-Coppelia!? Why, my sister is as renowned for her gentleness as her inventions! That is what the bribes are for!¡± ¡°Uwaaah~ the sludge underneath the puddle is moving. I think it¡¯s alive. If I had my malometer with me, I bet it¡¯d be exploding from all this evil.¡± I blinked in confusion. ¡°Excuse me? What is a ¡­ malometer?¡± ¡°A malometer is a thing which measures evil. You can buy them everywhere in Ouzelia.¡± My mouth widened in shock. Not because I couldn¡¯t believe something like that existed. But because I was almost regretting not staying for at least a few seconds longer just to purchase it. ¡°You have something which measures evil? ¡­ Goodness, why didn¡¯t you tell me while I was there! That sounds highly useful!¡± ¡°Nah, it¡¯s not. You¡¯d think something like that would be handy, but it¡¯s basically always spinning. Especially in human kingdoms. It¡¯s really only good for determining if a hero is a hero and not just their evil twin pretending to be them. If so, it¡¯ll slow down. If I brought it here with me, it¡¯d just break after 2 seconds.¡± ¡°Well, in that case, you should have brought it with you. There¡¯s no chance of it breaking while I¡¯m there.¡± Coppelia nodded as she was legally obliged to, before cheerfully pointing at the maybe cursed teapot. ¡°I mean, I¡¯m pretty sure it¡¯d have broken before meeting you. I had to go through a lot of forests like this one when looking for my missing book. How does stuff like this end up here? Do you sell cursed teapots?¡± ¡°We don¡¯t sell cursed teapots.¡± ¡°You should. I bet you¡¯d make loads of gold.¡± ¡°Please, Coppelia, that¡¯s just silly,¡± I said as I made a note of her idea. ¡°No gold was exchanged to soften the scene before us. This teapot was stolen, much like anything else which bears the crest of the Royal Villa outside its walls.¡± ¡°Eh? Does that happen often?¡± ¡°More than you can imagine. Our guards are prepared for unscrupulous guests in the night. Sadly, ours come in the day. Whether they be merchants or nobility, all of our visitors appear to be blessed with wandering hands in lieu of wealth or usefulness.¡± ¡°... Sooooo they take your teapots?¡± ¡°Never underestimate the wish for a new family heirloom.¡± I shook my head, envying not a moment my sister was forced to contend with the worst beneath our roofs. ¡°Clarise has a difficult responsibility. As a genius whose mind is privy to none, she furthers the cause of the kingdom in ways only she can¨Cincluding by discouraging away burglars. And to this, we¡¯re all content to watch. From a distance. Or at least with several walls between us.¡± Coppelia giggled, unperturbed by the many things she¡¯d need to carefully learn not to touch. Indeed, this teapot was an unexpectedly useful introduction. She¡¯d already know what to look out for. Namely the dark essence dribbling from the tip ¡­ albeit it usually wasn¡¯t this pronounced. Or purple. ¡°Okay!¡± Coppelia nodded with enthusiasm. ¡°What do you want to do, then?¡± ¡°Well, that¡¯s simple. We handle this before a tragic misunderstanding occurs. With the Royal Villa¡¯s crest engraved on the teapot, we cannot turn a blind eye. There are new adventurers nearby. Can you imagine what utter doom they¡¯d somehow inflict if they found it? My family would be unreasonably blamed.¡± ¡°Got it! We destroy the evidence!¡± I smiled, satisfied that Coppelia understood our priorities. A moment later¨CI leaned down and duly picked up a stick. ¡°Ohohoho! ¡­ Here it is!¡± I said confidently. ¡°The return of the holy stick! I shall consecrate whatever darkness has taken hold of Clarise¡¯s teapot!¡± ¡°Ooooh~¡± Coppelia applauded as she stepped away. ¡°Does this mean you¡¯re already prepared for whatever horrific thing comes out?¡± ¡°E-Excuse me? Why would something horrific come out? Yes, I understand it looks ¡­ unappealing, but that¡¯s hardly a suggestion that something¡¯s residing within it. Why? Do you sense any magic?¡± ¡°All I sense is evil. A lot of evil. And the last time you poked something evil a revenant came out. That was just a normal curse. This time it¡¯s cursed2. Whatever¡¯s hiding inside, it¡¯s going to be awful ¡­ I can¡¯t wait!¡± I pursed my lips. ¡°There¡¯s nothing to fear,¡± I declared. ¡°Whatever happened to this teapot, it¡¯s nothing my cleansing aura cannot fix ¡­ and also Starlight Grace. Besides, what¡¯s the worst that could appear? I¡¯ve faced down guild receptionists, muddy peasants and dancing mice.¡± Indeed! Nothing could possibly be worse. I¡¯d already seen the face of horror. Nothing now remained. Thus, I didn¡¯t hesitate. Leaving Coppelia to admire my expertise, I made my way over to the teapot in the puddle. And then¨C ¡°Poke.¡± I offered the barest graze with my holy stick ¡­ all the while leaning slightly away. Nothing terrible happened. On the contrary, the fumes appeared to lessen. And so I allowed a smile. It lasted until the teapot began to wobble. Suddenly, the fumes turned black. And what was a haze became thicker. It drowned all light as it twisted and turned, flowing from the teapot like a djinn from a lamp. A shape appeared before me. A silhouette. A figure. A face. The details were as dim as a reflection in the bottom of a well. But even so, the features were recognisable. I noted the harsh brows. The stern expression. The faintest wrinkles. The hair tied in an elaborate bun so neatly arranged that a seamstress could have folded a simple piece of fabric and done a poorer job. A moment later¨Cit was all I could do to widen my mouth in appropriate horror. Especially over the long ruler being wielded. Recognition dawned over who I was seeing at once. After all, she was a frequent visitor to the Royal Villa. As well as all its nooks, crannies and windowsills as she dutifully searched me out. Like a golem without sleep or rest. Madame Ana?s Levasseur. A lady of high society. And also my etiquette tutor. Chapter 383: Higher Standards They say the greatest horrors lurked deep beneath the surface. They were wrong. The greatest horrors stalked the corridors of the Royal Villa. Spawning from the wine cellars, their reddened eyes gleamed from every shadow while their wrinkled fingers clawed at every gap and crevasse. Usually, these were just the visiting dignitaries lost on their way to the guest quarters. Other times, they were the stewards when word escaped that Grandmother was on her way back. However, no matter how loud their groaning or how pained their expressions, nothing was quite as horrifying as the sound and sight of a long ruler as it tapped at a chalkboard detailing all the reasons why remaining conscious was deemed appropriate when hosting my mandatory tea parties. Despite all my well placed arguments that the sight of a sleeping princess was a gift well beyond what any of the 2nd daughters and countryside baronesses who sat with me deserved to see, all I usually received from my etiquette tutor were narrowed eyes, a raised chin and a mysteriously locked door instead. ¡­ If she was in a merciful mood. Which she never was. After all, although Madame Ana?s Levasseur was famed for many things, it wasn¡¯t her ability to alternate eyebrows in different directions which earned equal admiration and fear from all who stood in her path. It was her diaphragm and lung capacity. Putting even the Holy Church¡¯s sermons to shame, she could monopolise time like a black hole sucked up the sun. If allowed to be caught without a window to escape through, minutes turned to hours and hours into days. I¡¯d once seen Roland shuffling into the chamber of despair (her private study) after being caught deviously replacing Tristan¡¯s favourite quill with a sprig of wheat. He eventually emerged with a stubble. He was only 12. ¡°Uggghhhhhhhh ¡­¡± As a result ¡­ all I could was groan as the shadow of my etiquette tutor formed. There was no colour in the slightly greying hair I knew. Just different shades of darkness. She was a haze, her silhouette flickering like smog from a cauldron. Only the crease of her brows and the lining of her frumpy gown were there as details. Of her eyes, nothing could be seen but a pair of endless pits as barren as her expression. ¡°Juliette,¡± whispered Madame Levasseur¡¯s cruel impression, her ruler rising like a sword of judgement as she hovered ever so slightly. ¡°I see you¡¯ve wandered far from home. Too far. You have erred, as you always have. And for it, you are now lost. But I shall help you find yourself again. Here under my guidance, your soul will be unchained from the throes of despair. I shall help you find peace.¡± The tangled visage spoke. A voice so cold that in the pause that followed, only the sound of leaves stirring in discomfort broke the silence. And for good reason. This was no mere shadow. It was something worse. ¡°How ¡­ How awful,¡± I said, leaning away as the dark figure loomed. ¡°Why ¡­ I have never before seen anything so horrifying before.¡± Coppelia nodded, her enthusiasm at odds with whatever look of morbidness I wore. ¡°Mmh~ I bet that ruler could bonk you from two desks away! Is this someone you know?¡± ¡°Indeed it is ¡­ this is the infamous Madame Ana?s Levasseur, whose sleep requirements are so few that even when I¡¯m inspecting the kitchens in the dead of night, she will already be there, waiting beside the cheesecake stand with her ruler in hand!¡± ¡°Wow. No wonder she looks tired. There are shadows under her eyes. And also everywhere else.¡± ¡°Exactly.¡± I betrayed a gulp as I spied the wrinkles upon her forehead, forming from the strength of her bitter scowl. ¡°¡­ And that makes this the most shoddy impression I have ever witnessed.¡± The lifeless eyes widened in outrage. It only made the impression even worse. After all¨Cthis was a sight so inaccurate that I could only feel insulted upon Madame Levasseur¡¯s behalf! My etiquette tutor would never whisper like a court advisor readying to betray my father! She was the beacon of confident but also understated disappointment! The mistress of a thousand frowns, but not a single scowl! Whenever she harangued me for something I was in no way responsible for, it never came with a muttered threat to consume my soul! Why, that was always something ever implied! ¡°You dare speak in the trial of your judgement.¡± ¡°I do indeed!¡± I pointed with my holy stick. An act I would never consider were my etiquette tutor truly before me. Especially since holy artifacts had no effect on her. I¡¯d tried. ¡°You ¡­ how dare you! What do you think you¡¯re attempting to accomplish with such a slapdash impression!¡± ¡°Petulance. Disrespect. Insolence. You invite only the claws of damnation with such crassness.¡± ¡°Well, I certainly will if Madame Levasseur catches wind that I did anything but look aggrieved! This is not how she acts! My etiquette tutor is famed for her subtlety, her skulking and her tirades measured to slowly drain all waking thoughts from my mind! She¡¯d find no joy in using her claws!¡± The fraud duly raised her ruler. Like a weapon. I was aghast. Why, that ruler was only used for tapping at the wall to remind me of the exact pace I was permitted to dash away from her! For an etiquette tutor to use anything but a large heavy book against a princess was beyond all notions of acceptability! ¡°Errant child. You are in need of guidance.¡± ¡°On the contrary, I am the finest student. Instead of practising different napping positions, I¡¯m now fulfilling my obligations to Madame Levasseur¡¯s dignity by removing ¡­ whatever you are. Coppelia?¡± My loyal handmaiden hummed as she leaned forwards. ¡°It¡¯s a nightmare apparition,¡± she said as she admired the twisted visage. ¡°... Maybe.¡± I nodded at once, pretending not to hear the ¡®maybe¡¯. A nightmare apparition. A thing born of creaking closets and dark corners, attaching itself to any princess unfortunate enough to bring enough light into whatever teapot it now inhabited. A thing more frightening in thought than in motion. Because no matter what shape these cursed spectres could take, they burned before righteousness as easily as marriage correspondence in a hearth. ¡°A loitering spirit, then,¡± I declared. ¡°Nothing more than a passing ghost, waiting to fade into the night.¡± ¡°Sure! Except I think this thing is more than just an apparition. I can feel its weight. Whatever was in the teapot, it was dangerous enough to give its evil actual presence. I¡¯m pretty sure it wants to gobble you. And not just your soul.¡± Hmmmmmmmm. One of these days, I should suggest to Clarise to possibly use something else for her teapots. Like soap. That was just as effective in deterring thieves. ¡°There is no evil in me. The blackness you feel is only the disappointment of a student gone astray.¡± ¡°The only disappointment is mine, spirit. Because for all the length of my etiquette tutor¡¯s sermons, what she left unsaid was always far worse than any threats she could use. And you have already spoken far too much.¡± Without hesitation, I did away with the holy stick in my hand. As regrettable as it was to see Clarise¡¯s work undone, it was clear that a simple cleansing poke wasn¡¯t enough. Wholesale exorcism was required. And that meant Starlight Grace. ¡°Sssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh.¡± It hissed as I drew my sword. A flash of illumination caused the imposter to briefly recoil as the blade invited a stream of sunlight past the forest canopy. Yet whatever discomfort it experienced, I would now permanently soothe with my mercy. ¡°Ohohohoho.¡± I gently raised a hand to my lips, barely covering my smile. ¡°My, how very pitiable. Madame Levasseur¡¯s skin is pale enough to deflect sunlight. But I see it consumes you instead. Were you less than a mere shade, perhaps you could have instilled a moment of admiration in me. To dare assume my etiquette tutor¡¯s form is nothing if not brazen, after all.¡± I raised Starlight Grace, ready to offer my finest poke. ¡°... Sadly, you have failed to pass even the lowest standards. And I¡¯d truly be a poor student if I made no attempt to rectify it.¡± The creature reacted at once. Dispensing with the already poor visage, the apparition began to grow. The elegant bun unravelled, revealing strands of twisting hair like snakes fleeing from a flame. The frumpy dress bent and broke as limbs contorted, claws replacing fingers and boils replacing skin. A mockery of light appeared in the creature¡¯s eyes, so dim that only the instincts of a thoughtless monster lay behind it. A caricature beyond any nightmare, eroding the sunlight and wilting the leaves around it. Only the ruler remained untouched. ¡°Then it is time for a fresh lesson in etiquette.¡± A voice steeped in ire reverberated around me. It mattered little. All I heard was the sound of a bear snoozing somewhere in the distance, waiting to be woken up so that it could begin the important task of ushering away the new adventurers plaguing this forest. ¡°Wait!¡± ¡­ And also Coppelia. Wearing a rare look of seriousness, she stepped forwards with her fists clenched against her chest. Then, she pointed directly at the abomination. ¡°How dare you!¡± she said with her brows dented. ¡°I don¡¯t know who you¡¯re supposed to be, but I know for a fact that Juliette Contzen, 3rd Princess to the Kingdom of Tirea, doesn¡¯t need etiquette lessons! She¡¯s already the best when it comes to doing princess things!¡± I gasped. C-Coppelia!! She ¡­ She was so honest! ¡°In ¡­ Indeed! Just as my loyal handmaiden who has never uttered a falsehood says, I am a paragon of regal stature! Princesses everywhere follow my example!¡± ¡°Yeah! No matter what she does, it¡¯s always super princess-like! Whenever she drools while napping, it¡¯s like seeing something as gentle as spring rain upon the meadows!¡± ¡°Exactly! I ¡­ hm?¡± To my horror, Coppelia began counting down with her fingers. ¡°She sleeps everywhere and anytime she wants because she now has a magical bed. But it¡¯s always with unquenchable dignity. You can barely hear her snores over the sound of everyone around her doing stuff because it¡¯s now well past midday and normal people are already thinking about finishing work! And when she does wake up, her first meal always consists of mixed chocolate and banana cr¨ºpes, hazelnut croissants or cinnamon rolls because it¡¯s so late nobody is serving breakfast anymore! Even so, she can wipe away all the crumbs that fall on her with a single elegant sweep of her hand!¡± Hm? Hmmm? Hmmmmmm?! ¡°O-Ohoho?! Coppelia, I ¡­ I believe you must be mistaken! I do not sleep well past midday or wherever I wish ¡­ and my meals are always healthy and balanced!¡± ¡°Oh, right¨Cthere¡¯s that as well! Sometimes a magical halfling with a cart comes along who sells things like sandwich melts covered in oil, flatbreads covered in oil and goblin moss cakes covered in oil. But despite eating them with her hands and then praising them while her mouth is still full, nobody would ever suspect that she¡¯s anything less than a dignified princess straight from a portrait!¡± A strange croak came from my lips. All of a sudden, a silence fell over us as the nightmare apparition stilled ¡­ only to stare at me instead. ¡°... Is this true?¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°Is this true? Do you consume common fare lathered with oil from a cart? An act only less inappropriate for royalty than doing so using one¡¯s hands?¡± ¡°E-Excuse me! You are not my real tutor! I have no obligation to explain myself to¨C¡± ¡°Is. This. True?¡± I pursed my lips ¡­ and then slowly rolled my eyes. ¡°In ¡­ In the course of my royal duties ¡­ it is important that I as a princess am able to understand the needs and wants of the common people ¡­ to this end, I endeavour to ensure that I am never above the fare they place upon their tables ¡­ for it is in the sweat of their wheat and sandwich melts that I can most feel their hearts ...¡± Whack. A ruler struck a tree. Just as though it was a chalkboard. ¡°Unacceptable. Inadmissible. How dare you disgrace your family name in such a wanton manner. You are not permitted to wander outside the walls of your bedroom only to lower the standing of your siblings, your parents and all your ancestors simultaneously.¡± ¡°W-Why are you suddenly speaking like Madame Levasseur?! Were you not about to consume my soul?!¡± ¡°There is nothing to consume. I will not partake in anything spoiled by such disregard for basic civility. Your taste would haunt me more than anything I could achieve.¡± ¡°Excuse me?! I am a paragon of virtue! A pillar of both decorum and purity! If you eat my soul, all your wickedness would be burned away and you would find yourself skipping in the heavens!¡± Suddenly, Coppelia clapped her hands together. ¡°Ooh, ooh, but that¡¯s not only it! There¡¯s also the [Ball Of Doom] as well! It¡¯s a mfffphhhhph¨C¡± ¡°Y-You may disregard my semi-loyal handmaiden!¡± I said as my hands mysteriously found themselves around her mouth. ¡°She speaks only in riddles and metaphors! There is no such thing as a [Ball Of Doom]!¡± A pair of dim eyes simply stared at me. ¡°What is the [Ball Of Doom] ¡­ ?¡± ¡°The [Ball Of Doom] is amazing!¡± replied Coppelia, easily prying space for her smiling lips with a single fingertip. ¡°It¡¯s like the end of the world all squished together! But no matter how much destruction happens, she still looks as refined as a peacock feather. That¡¯s because while she¡¯s breaking everything, she always laughs like this ¡­ ¡®ohohohohohoho¡¯.¡± I could only gawk. For one thing, being described as a peacock feather was not a compliment which had ever once graced my mandatory tea parties! For another ¡­ that was a wholly inaccurate impression of my beautiful laughter! ¡°C-Coppelia is exaggerating the delicate gardening technique I sometimes employ to remove caterpillars from my orchard! Rest assured, there is no destruction involved whatsoever!¡± ¡°She¡¯s already blown up a forest, multiple doors and walls, sent a minotaur through the sky and then catapulted a wyvern into a castle. I think the castle belongs to the Grand Duchy of Granholtz. That was hilarious. They sent a general to complain and she just spent the entire time trying to buy his sword.¡± The false etiquette tutor raised her clawed hands, covering her mouth in horror. ¡°You ¡­ You ¡­ You did what ¡­ ?¡± ¡°That was also just after eating from the magical halfling¡¯s cart, so she probably had bits of crumbs on her.¡± All of a sudden, the clawed hands began to shake before me. As did everything else. Her face twisted and turned as she trembled. What was hazy and indistinct became a myriad of separate expressions, each clearly a shade of dismay fighting to settle upon the surface. Garbled words struggled to leave her lips, resulting only in a noise halfway between a whimper and a gasp. And no wonder. Indeed ¡­ here was the most powerful, forbidden ability a semi-loyal handmaiden possessed! [Coppelia Slander]!! It was all I could do to mouth like a wounded goldfish. It was nothing compared to the apparition. S§×arch* The N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Whatever nightmares it instilled, it was nothing compared to what it now received. ¡°¨CRIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.¡± Like the death throes of a banshee, it let out an ear-piercing shriek. Pwoomph. The next moment ¡­ the lifeless eyes before me vanished. The shadow of my etiquette tutor dispersed as easily as dust brushed aside by the sweep of a broom ¡­ only to be replaced instead with something far worse. With a gentle hum, a smiling clockwork doll leaned down to scoop up the powdered residue of a successfully exorcised spirit directly into her pouch. ¡°Hmm hm hmm hm hmm ? ¡­ ooh, this smells high quality~¡± Beside her, a teapot lay broken, the clear fractures having split the fine porcelain as obviously as the many lines of anguish which had briefly appeared on the nightmare¡¯s face. I thought for a few moments, then nodded. ¡°Coppelia.¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°When we reach the Royal Villa, it¡¯s likely you shall encounter Madame Ana?s Levasseur in the flesh.¡± ¡°Got it! You want me to keep quiet on the whole magical halfling and the cart of happiness thing, right?¡± Upon hearing no response, Coppelia blinked up at me. ¡°... Right?¡± I looked down at the remains of the apparition. ¡°Do ¡­ Do you think this could work on non-spirits too ¡­ ?¡± Chapter 384: The Luminous Princess Apple snorted as the salt breeze tickled his nose. Having left a waking bear, the wielder of a winning fruit slime portrait and even the forest behind, I was greeted with an unimpeded view of my southern coastline¨Ccourtesy of the white cliffs which oversaw the narrow strait separating the coastal borders of Tirea and Weinstadt. The well-trampled road meandered beside the long precipice. Here, the warning signs did little to deter travellers, children and farmers from leaning over the wonky fences, gazing upon the many sails billowing in the breeze below. The water glittered beneath the midday sunlight. But it was nothing compared to the flashing mirrors used by the merchant cogs. Each flashed constantly under a squall of gulls. And while I knew mercifully little about the language of sailors, I knew enough from the jeering of the crews reaching even my ears that they were unlikely to be words fit for use outside a dockside tavern. Fortunately for them, the local drinking establishments were well stocked in both patience and alcohol. A stone¡¯s throw away from the road, endless vineyards took advantage of the fertile soil. Terracing all the way up the nearby slopes and hills, the fields bloomed with anticipation of summer¡¯s coming. Rows of maroon bounty awaited harvesting, with lines of woven baskets already filled with pruned leaves, twigs and excess by the labourers whose sweat helped nourish the soil. The result was a marvel of colours and aromas. The sweetness of the grapes mixed with the pungency of the salt air. Swathes of glimmering blue to my right and endless patches of taxes to my left. And all before me, carts going to and fro, delivering what the wineries required while rushing to meet the merchant ships as they docked in nearby Wirtzhaven. There was just one thing missing from this quaint picture. My smile. ¡°Ohohohohohoho ¡­ behold, Coppelia!¡± ¡°I¡¯m beholding~¡± ¡°Here! Here it is! The sight of my kingdom at its most natural! Unimpeded productivity! Both sea and land and all upon it hard at work! No pirates, no plagues and only a few layabouts! It ¡­ It is wonderful!!¡± Coppelia plucked a grape from a vine growing far too close to the road. She tossed it into her mouth, scrunched up her face in discomfort, then went ahead and plucked another one. Again, she scrunched up her face. ¡°Hmm ¡­ it¡¯s okay, I suppose. The lack of pirates and plagues does mean something¡¯s missing in the flavour profile, though. These grapes are sour, but not enough to be poisonous.¡± I clapped my hands in delight. ¡°Excellent! This means of all the corners of my kingdom, this region has exclusively escaped sabotage! I expect our products to be exported in droves. Wirtzhaven is known as the port of call for not only connoisseurs, but those blessed with excellent taste buds and also demanding sweet tooths.¡± ¡°Oooh ¡­ does that mean the super rare chocolate and marmalade hazelnut brioche rolls are here?¡± ¡°Yes. And also the finest condiments to go with them.¡± Indeed! Here in the southern reaches of my fair realm, where the sun always strove hardest to compete with me, this region was known for many of the essentials which graced my dining table ¡­ and also my nightstand. ¡°You shall enjoy Wirtzhaven when we eventually pass through,¡± I declared with a confident smile. ¡°Whereas Rolstein to the east is the breadbasket of the kingdom, here is where all the condiments and accompaniments are made. I refer to honeys, fruits and jams so famed that visitors from as far as the Dunes will often visit, indulging in my kingdom while pretending they will never visit again when they realise an official edict is in place to charge tourists 300% extra for every little service.¡± Coppelia giggled. That was good. It meant the percentage could still go higher. ¡°Wow! I didn¡¯t know your kingdom was so popular!¡± ¡°Wha¨C? Coppelia, you¡¯ve seen the popularity of my kingdom firsthand!¡± ¡°I mean, it does seem to be popular with the hoodlums. They really like it here.¡± ¡°Exactly. We can¡¯t take a step in any direction without a ruffian gleefully waiting to muddy our path¨Cand a kingdom worth loitering in is a kingdom worth visiting.¡± Indeed, as I smiled all around me, what winked back at me was a land undiminished by the many troublemakers who¡¯d overstayed their welcome. Beneath the pearly clouds, not a single blemish was there to distract from the reasonably priced sightseeing spots or the inspectors waiting to ambush ¡­ I mean, to fine every tourist for not having the correct litany of documentation. There was just one exception. A tower scorched to a husk, its carcass threatening to topple upon the road ahead of us. ¡°Sooo ¡­ we¡¯re not ignoring the big smoking wreck anymore, huh?¡± said Coppelia, beaming as she followed my gaze. I shook my head. As much as I wished to, we were here for a purpose other than judging the local patisseries ¡­ so far. ¡°It pains my heart to look at it,¡± I said, noting the single hue of black. ¡°The powers of calamity and all of it goes towards a lack of imagination. Is creating bigger fires truly the extent of ambition these days?¡± ¡°You never know. There might be an ominously written message inside which won¡¯t make sense until it¡¯s 5 minutes before the ending.¡± ¡°Please, there will be nothing but the ashes of creativity. I don¡¯t see a single motif in the exterior. That alone is telling. Were we not closely acquainted with Miss Lainsfont, this dire work could have been attributed to any cackling mage with an ordinary amount of interest in health and safety.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not her fault. It takes time to adjust to powers of calamity.¡± ¡°... There¡¯s an official average in your homeland, isn¡¯t there?¡± ¡°Yup! Even the best evildoers in Ouzelia need to be defeated at least a dozen times before they can start properly threatening the world.¡± ¡°Well, she should move, then. I dare say such antics would be more appreciated in Ouzelia.¡± ¡°Mmh~ our heroes would even help out. They have workshop programmes for stuff like this. If you want to see what she can do, you can follow the Official Guidebook To Nurturing Rivals. After a while, towers will be a thing of yesterday. She¡¯ll be threatening cathedrals as part of her lunchtime routine.¡± I gave it a moment¡¯s consideration. ¡°It¡¯s tempting,¡± I said shake of my head. ¡°But as amusing as seeing the Holy Church fleeing with their pilfered artifacts doubtless is, I simply cannot allow any more fires.¡± ¡°Oh. Have we met our quota?¡± ¡°There is no quota.¡± I paused. ¡°... Why? Did you think we have a quota?¡± ¡°Ahaha~¡± Hmm. She didn¡¯t actually give an answer. That was something I maybe needed to address ¡­ although the most pressing issue was still our budding Witch of Calamity. ¡°We¡¯ll need to put a stop to this,¡± I said simply. ¡°After all, my family are blamed even when a dragon attacks and lays waste to barns while shouting the names of my ancestors in rage. If people see Miss Lainsfont setting things on fire while occasionally referencing me, they¡¯d think we knew each other.¡± ¡°Got it! You want to find her so your stories will match!¡± ¡°Quite so. Any damage she can cause to a rooftop is far less than what she can do to my reputation.¡± Coppelia tilted her head slightly, a finger placed to her cheek in thought. ¡°Hmmmm ¡­ but you know, she¡¯s actually surprisingly good at keeping herself hidden. Although her magic¡¯s pretty distinctive, she doesn¡¯t wear it on her sleeve like most mages do. I¡¯m not sure if I can tell where she¡¯s gone just from the burned bits leftover.¡± ¡°Oh? In that case, you needn¡¯t worry. It¡¯s hardly ashes I expect to provide answers, but rather those who witnessed them being made.¡± I nodded confidently. Indeed, although her flames had turned cold, those who loitered here were still alive and well. This being a particularly busy corner of my kingdom, I had no doubt that more than a few eyes had seen what became of our errant mage. There was just one problem. Wirtzhaven Outlet Marketplace I had to decide which of the merchants clogging up the road was least likely to assail me for asking. The answer ¡­ was none of them. I groaned as I urged Apple to bravely continue past the wooden sign. ¡°Young lady! I have silver jewelry straight from Empress Halyconia¡¯s unseen collection! It¡¯s a 50% discount for the entire set!¡± ¡°Come visit my stall! I¡¯ve dwarven cutlery fit for any noblewoman¡¯s table! Freshly hammered and forged! The sharpest forks at the lowest prices!¡± ¡°Miss! Come look at this! I¡¯ve a silver hairbrush straight from the treasury of the last elven kingdom! It can make your hair even straighter than it is!¡± ¡°Golden gemstones! I¡¯ve golden gemstones famed for catching every misfortune!¡± It was the worst possible sight. Merchants who lacked the wiles to afford a licence to trade within the town limits. Instead, they¡¯d erected a makeshift marketplace consisting of carriages sloppily arranged to dig up as much of the surrounding grass as possible. But that wasn¡¯t the worst of it. One look at the wares on display was enough to send me into despair. Common iron burnished until it gleamed being sold as silver. Brass not even touched being offloaded as gold. Jewelry which was the worst that multiple princesses had discarded through a window. This was an issue. As much as I wished to prevent the next blot against my sky, it couldn¡¯t come at the cost of encouraging a lack of standards. Otherwise, Madame Levasseur would truly appear before me. ¡°Miss? That¡¯s a lovely copper ring you¡¯ve got there! Are you an adventurer? If so, I¡¯ve a copper bracelet to help match it!¡± ¡°E-Excuse me?!¡± I duly turned Apple around to meet my assailant, my mouth agape. ¡°That ¡­ That is an appalling suggestion! Why, the only thing that matches with a copper ring is a blindfold to save everybody¡¯s eyes!¡± ¡°Really? In that case, I¡¯ve something which might work! A small towel which was once owned by¨C¡± ¡°Wait, stop.¡± I pointed at the merchant before me. A young woman with a smile as bright as the hand towel she was now wriggling free of all the unwanted jewellery sitting upon it. However, it wasn¡¯t her outrageous optimism which earned all my attention. Rather ¡­ it was her hair. ¡°... You. Why is your hair glowing?¡± The woman paused. She lifted the bottom of her hair. The ends were brightly aglow. Luminous pink stood in contrast with her otherwise brown hair. A sight I¡¯d last seen when a certain mage in scandalous attire had only just recently achieved her powers of newfound calamity. ¡°Oh, this? That¡¯s pixie dust.¡± ¡°Pixie dust?¡± ¡°Never seen it before, huh? If you want, I¡¯ll be happy to throw in a sample with any purchase! It¡¯s the latest trend in Wirtzhaven.¡± I blinked. Repeatedly. ¡°My apologies, but could you repeat that ¡­ ?¡± ¡°It¡¯s the most popular fashion trend in Wirtzhaven,¡± said the young woman, paying no heed to the wide open nature of my mouth. Coppelia reached over and closed it for me. ¡°It¡¯s a bit of pixie dust mixed with regular dyes. You choose which colour you want and apply it to the end of your hair. It¡¯s pretty much sold out everywhere, though. Especially pink.¡± I placed my hands in my face. After a few moments, I took a deep breath and raised my head. ¡°I see ¡­ and how did this become a fashion trend, exactly ¡­ ?¡± ¡°Oh, that.¡± The woman gave an embarrassed laugh. ¡°Well, believe it or not, there¡¯s a princess in town.¡± ¡°A princess.¡± ¡°Yeah, amazing, huh? Except she¡¯s real shy. She wears a cloak and hood everywhere she goes. All you can see is her hair. It glows at the ends, just like this.¡± The young woman lifted her hair again. ¡°You see her sometimes. She goes into restaurants, gets really embarrassed when everybody stares and then leaves without her food. We¡¯re pretty sure she¡¯s runaway royalty. Because of how she is, we call her ¡­ The Luminous Princess.¡± Sear?h the NovelFire.net* website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Coppelia propped me up as I immediately collapsed. The ¡­ The ¡­ The Luminous Princess ¡­ !! S-Such a splendid name ¡­ and it wasn¡¯t mine ¡­ ?! ¡°¨CIn fact, if you want more examples of colours, you can just look around you!¡± The young woman pointed at her colleagues. Ponytails, bob cuts, long and wavy or short and practical. It didn¡¯t matter which. They all wore their hair in such a manner that the very ends were slightly luminous. Just like their secret princess. ¡°Wow, this sure is something~¡± said Coppelia, beaming as she continued to hold me up. ¡°Miss Racy Corset is setting fashion trends. Isn¡¯t that convenient? It means we know where she is! Isn¡¯t that great? It¡¯s great, huh? Isn¡¯t that the greatest?¡± I stared into nothingness. For a moment, indistinct colours, shapes and birds flew before my eyes. A mosaic of confusion mixed with the sight of Coppelia¡¯s everlasting smile. And then¨C I threw up my arms in grief. ¡°Why can¡¯t she just set everything on fire ¡­ ?!¡± Chapter 385: The Perils Of Calamity Marina clenched her fists. 1 minute and 32 seconds. That¡¯s how long it¡¯d taken for Marina to master her first spell. A feat which, if the Royal Institute of Mages was ever willing to acknowledge, would see her slightly younger version having already bested every achievement claimed by those hacks who unironically called themselves talented. It was a difference in both process and aptitude. For children, those first instances of elemental manifestation were always driven by emotion, then nurtured through rote learning and an environment free of flammable liquids. For Marina, it was different. She¡¯d deliberately called upon her first [Candlelight] in order to frighten away a fruit slime trying to bounce through the kitchen window. Then, she¡¯d refined it until it was strong enough to ignite the hearth, the threat of a bubbling saucepot and the heat of a flame acting as a deterrent greater than any broomstick she could have wielded. Whereas most children¡¯s first experiences with magic was to singe, freeze or wet the hems of their own clothes, Marina was already putting hers to practical use. She still considered that first spell her very finest. Even though these days, physics was less an obstacle and more a plaything for her, that spark of controlled flame at her fingertip had set the stage for what the world could expect of her. Unlike those poets masquerading as mages who made up her peers, she didn¡¯t spend a single moment eschewing the virtues of magecraft, debating the laws which should govern their kind or convincing the Holy Church to not let slip their mask and wield another crusade against all practitioners of magic. Marina had no interest in the world of magic. Only magic itself and how best to utilise it. It was a means to an end. A tool no different from her cauldron. And that meant she actually respected it. She knew not a single spell to transmute brie into edam or to make objects immune to coffee spillages. But she could shape the world. Because when her flames were hot enough to melt the ground itself, even destiny yielded before her. Marina Lainsfont was the most dangerous mage in a generation. Perhaps several combined. After all, while dragonfire could persist for over a century, the flames cast by the Witch of Calamity never ceased. They burned in the nightmares of children, kindled by the warnings of scolding parents and strange hermits in the night. It was a tale Marina would continue. She was now the arbiter of life and death. The axis upon which reality balanced. The inferno which snuffed out even the will of the gods. And that¡¯s why¨C ¡°... Unnnghhhh ¡­¡± She had absolutely no reason to feel humiliated. Why did it matter if she was sitting alone in a restaurant frequented only by groups? That was utterly irrelevant. Solo dining was more than socially acceptable. She¡¯d learned that in Rolstein. Nobody ever bothered her after a day¡¯s work when she¡¯d just finished plucking the eyes from newts. Moreover, Marina had no time to idly exchange gossip like the fools who frequented these places. She was extremely busy. Specifically ¡­ clenching her fists beneath the table while staring down at her cold stew. Marina did her best to hide her reddened face with her hood. It didn¡¯t matter. She could still feel the stares. All of them. Fixated upon her as though she was some carcass in an archmage¡¯s curio collection ¡­ and it was all because of the fluorescent plague known as the glowing ends of her hair. Flames. Scissors. Curses. None of it seemed to work. The more she tried to remove the strands, the more they stubbornly remained. Despite her awakened abilities, she¡¯d spent more time leaning over a bathtub while trying to fix her hair than poring over grimoires to make sense of her powers. Not because she was necessarily mortified to the point that she wanted to burn the entire world down. But because the attention was highly distracting. ¡°¨CHi there! Is everything to your liking?¡± After all, it was more than giggling she had to ignore. It was also open mockery ¡­ including from the staff. Before her, the young waitress smiled, her hair tinged with whatever pixie droppings she wore. Marina had no idea when it happened. How it happened. Only that the entire town of Wirtzhaven now considered her the butt of their joke. She bit her lips while considering her response. It¡¯d be so easy. With a click of her fingers, she could make all the embarrassment go away. But that wasn¡¯t why she was here. Yet. ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡± ¡°Great! Can I get you something to drink?¡± ¡°No.¡± ¡°Okay! Well, just give me a shout if you need anything.¡± The waitress pointed off to the side. ¡°... Also, I¡¯m not sure if you noticed, but I wanted to let you know that the apothecary you¡¯ve been asking for is just leaving.¡± Marina blinked. Suddenly, her chair scraped back as she stood up. But as her eyes went to the door, she almost immediately sat back down again. There she was. A woman with dark robes, a crooked hat with a dipping tip and a cloak painted with astrological symbols. She even had a black cat, following after her with a donated sardine. All that was missing was a broomstick. Marina groaned. Charlatan. That was her immediate impression of the woman who exited through the door. The witches had long been out of mind and out of sight. A feat difficult to accomplish if they dressed in full regalia in busy restaurants. But this was no time to doubt herself. She needed answers. Whatever form they came as. Leaving her stew behind, Marina went to pursue the apothecary, ignoring the stares which went her way. Her hopes rose as the pungency of barrowroot welcomed her to the alley outside. An ingredient few knew how to use. Ashknot was more common and didn¡¯t require perusing through a cemetery. Perhaps that girl with the abominable smile was correct. There truly was a witch masquerading as an apothecary here¨Cdespite the disguise being as effective as a lamb wearing another lamb¡¯s wool. More tellingly, however, was the fact that this apothecary had little presence in this town. She possessed no shop, no stall and no carriage. A difficult mouse to spy in the daylight. But even the most reclusive of hermits needed to eat. As such, Marina permitted herself a small amount of satisfaction as she watched the figure round a corner with a bundle in her arms. Yet whether or not this was worth the days of querying and scowling would soon be told. She only needed to stop herself from hurling herself forwards. This time, no denting of her brows would be required. Only a smile. Which was fine. Marina could do smiles. She could do pleasantries. She could do manners. The fact she hadn''t banned anyone from entering her shop was evidence of that ¡­ although if this apothecary could explain how she maintained her living standards without the need for an income stream, Marina would certainly listen. ¡­ Especially since this hermit¡¯s home was nicer than her own. The winding alleys continued onwards, but not the apothecary¡¯s steps. She came to a stop outside a colourful cottage. Separated from the long rows of storefronts either side of it, enough flower pots existed upon every windowsill that the weight of the fragrance almost masked the magic which visibly rose as pink smoke from the chimney. That ¡­ should not be happening. Not unless a reagent with powerful arcane properties was literally being burned. Even then, very few things could achieve that. An arcana crystal would simply explode, as Marina knew from personal experience. Magic was unstable by nature. And something which could cause smoke to become such a vibrant hue when reacting to heat was even rarer. In fact, if she had to theorise ¡­ then the most likely reagent would be¨C ¡°Pixie dust.¡± Marina¡¯s mouth fell open. This apothecary ¡­ was using pixie dust. The same reagent used in those accused vials she was destroying at every opportunity when the shopkeepers weren¡¯t looking. Or even when they were. It. Was. Her. S§×ar?h the N?velFire(.)net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Marina¡¯s head went blank with outrage. Somewhere in the back of her mind, a distant voice called at her. It echoed like a desperate tugging at her shoulders, forcing her back. To remember pleasantries. To remember manners. She was here for a reason. What it was ¡­ Marina had no idea. All she saw was the apothecary entering her cottage without using a key, more concerned with the cat dashing between her legs than the mental torment she¡¯d inflicted. Marina didn¡¯t hesitate. She marched over to the same door even before it finished closing, fire and brimstone in her wake, fists scrunched and brows a single line of righteous indignation. Every prying glance beneath her hood, every mocking giggle and every restaurant she was now self-exiled from filled her vision as the burning core of her soul demanded vigorous justice. Wrenching the door open, Marina stomped inside. And then ¡­ she paused. Only a quaint kitchen awaited her. Scarcely different to the one in her own shop, a large pewter cauldron simmered away in the centre. On the countertop near it, the evidence of the apothecary¡¯s crimes were there for all to see. Bowls of pixie dust so fresh they still glittered. Jars of dye extracted from orchid bloomfiends. And moonberyls used as a catalyst, crushed to a powder so fine she could smell the exertion in grinding them. Marina¡¯s rage didn¡¯t calm. But she did respect the quality of the reagents. She also acknowledged the magic imprisoning her. To instantly create a [Prismatic Barrier] the exact dimensions of a kitchen was not only quaint, but also impressive. Even a blemish would be seen by the worst of apprentices. But there were no hazy outlines betraying the cage which prevented her from exiting the door here, or indeed, the feedback which would send the back of her head rushing to meet the floor if she tried. Marina nodded. And then¨C ¡°[Hexflare Nova].¡± Pwoooooooooooooosh. Telegraphing herself with only the briefest pause, the kitchen around her shattered. A fiery blastwave incinerated the reagents used to assault her dignity. Dishes, furniture and a pewter cauldron were immediately flung to the walls, smashing cleanly through crumbling cabinets before everything began to melt. However, while the walls buckled and groaned, the stonework didn¡¯t disintegrate. Marina was mildly impressed. Not only magically warded, but specifically against flames. But perhaps that was only to be expected. ¡°How curious,¡± said the apothecary, standing beside Marina as though she¡¯d always been there. Judging by the faint glimmering surrounding her figure, she had. ¡°Hexflare. I¡¯m unused to such a particular designation of spellcraft.¡± Marina¡¯s eyes narrowed as she turned to the woman still holding her lunch. To mask herself so completely was unheard of. True invisibility, after all, was a spell countless generations of archmages had dedicated their lives towards unravelling to little avail. And yet there hadn¡¯t been a single hint of her presence beforehand. A curious thing. But Marina didn¡¯t need to ask how it was possible. After all, the magic this woman used was not subject to the laws of the mortal realm. ¡°... Would you care to join me for tea, Miss Lainsfont?¡± said the fae, her wings of summer glimmering behind the witch¡¯s attire. She held up her lunch. A shiny red brick. Chapter 386: Witchly Concerns The embers burned in the kitchen. It was a sight Marina was deeply familiar with. Alchemy, after all, was nothing if not temperamental. It didn¡¯t matter if she weighed her ingredients to the gram or followed her own instructions with clockwork precision. Just having her reagents differ in which patch of dirt they¡¯d been tugged from by a matter of inches was enough to tilt the scales towards a plume of smoke. ¡­ If she was lucky. These days, that was an occurrence rarer than a forbidden grimoire which didn¡¯t contain a mistake in just the foreword. However ¡­ whereas she always needed to have several buckets of water, an emergency [Frost Powder] charm and an alibi prepared, the woman in both human and witchly disguise held no such fear. A fae of the Summer Court. Marina could see her features clearly now. Slightly unkempt tawny hair, brown eyes and a smattering of freckles. Were it not for the witchly regalia, she could have masqueraded as anyone and anything. Providing that she also removed the wings. They were as fae wings were. As if donated by a butterfly and then greatly enlarged. Beautiful, intricate and ¡­ also highly susceptible to flames. Or at least those of the other courts were. Marina had experiences with winter, spring and autumn¨Cbut this was her first encounter with a subject of the Summer Queen. And when it came to seeing any fae outside their twilight realm, then this would be her very first. Laws more ancient than any magic bound the fae to their homeland. For her to have broken them meant this fae was powerful. Enough that she could mute the magic which exuded from her. The telltale signs were absent. A cursory glance by any ordinary mage would reveal nothing but an apothecary with perhaps a dollop of talent power. Even the [Prismatic Barrier] had been faint, and that was no novice spell. Marina stood with her hands ready. Her mind was a jumble of whatever frost spells she could conjure. The incantations came slowly to her, as if wading through the flames beneath her skin first. But still they came. The fae didn¡¯t care. She busied herself by casually hauling new furniture from a large closet instead. ¡°This one will do ¡­ ah, and this one as well ¡­ oh, wonky, I need to replace this.¡± Stackable bar stools. A folding dining table. Even detachable workstations complete with storage solutions. On another day, Marina would offer a hum of acknowledgement. To have emergency furnishings prepared meant only one thing. This apothecary was a veteran of her craft. Yet when fae enjoyed far more time to indulge in their interests, such experience was the least of expectations. As a result, she blew away a coat of dust from the foldable dining table with practised ease. She then gave it a little shake to inspect for durability, before seating herself down on a bar stool. A cat promptly hopped onto the table, a brick somehow held in its mouth as easily as the sardine which had utterly vanished. The fae nodded as the brick was lowered in offering. ¡°It is quite tasty,¡± she said, gesturing towards the block of masonry material. ¡°Red clay, roasted in a stove pot. The proprietor of the establishment you waited for me in makes it to my specification. I can vouch for its quality.¡± Marina stared. Still, her hands didn¡¯t lower. She had so many questions. Why a fae of the Summer Court was wearing the guise of a witch. How much was known about Marina or her objectives. What the price of her assistance would be. But most of all ¡­ ¡°... Pixie dust?¡± said Marina, her voice perfectly measured between outrage and grief. ¡°Is this your work? Are you using a rare and expensive reagent in order to disseminate a hair glowing product?¡± The fae blinked. ¡°Yes,¡± she replied simply. Marina narrowed her eyes as she dared for a better excuse. It never came ¡°For what reason ¡­ ?¡± ¡°Curiosity, of course. I was intrigued by the unique nature of your hair, and so I attempted to create an alchemical concoction which could replicate the effects¨Cat least in appearance, if not in substance. Improving the duration is the next step.¡± Marina was stunned. And horrified. ¡°You wish to make your concoction even more potent? More obvious?¡± ¡°Indeed. The current blend persists only upwards of 72 hours, after which it must be vigorously reapplied. The range of available colours is also limited.¡± ¡°... But why?¡± The fae merely tilted her head slightly, blinking with a look of puzzlement. ¡°Why? Is curiosity not the compass which drives you into action? We fae may differ from mortals in more aspects than just longevity, but in this, we¡¯re truly one and the same. I can. And so I do. A popular phrase used by both scholars in Rozinthe and the Summer Court.¡± Marina narrowed her eyes as she studied the earnest expression. Then, she let out a groan. This fae ¡­ was one of those. Not just a member of the world¡¯s most ancient and enigmatic race, blessed with prodigious magical prowess and a bloody history of using it. No, she was far more dangerous. She was an academic. Marina recognised the type at once. She snorted at them so often that her nose hurt. Mages who could even make the thought of meteors falling from the sky sound dull. This fae was no different. The wings did nothing to distract from the complete lack of concern for practical affairs behind those eyes ¡­ including Marina¡¯s lack of patience. ¡°Your curiosity is wasted,¡± she stated, her hands only now lowering¨Cif not quite falling completely. ¡°As are your reagents.¡± ¡°Nothing ventured, nothing gained. But I also like to think of it as ¡®nothing lost¡¯ instead. There is no wastage when it comes to innovation.¡± ¡°A convenient thought for someone who¡¯s never had to budget for overhead expenses before. Is it necessary to create so much surplus? Your ridiculous concoction is being sold by every talentless merchant in town.¡± ¡°So I hear. That¡¯s excellent. It means the herbalists I source my ingredients from are happy to continue bartering with me. My products are what they ask for in return for both their reagents and their discretion. I consider this a reasonable exchange. Particularly as field testing is an important boon.¡± Marina narrowed her eyes. The field testing came at her expense ¡­ but that was an issue which would correct itself now that the cauldron responsible had been melted. She had other concerns. And so did this fae. ¡°Who are you and why did you wait before showing yourself?¡± ¡°I am Countess Yrainde of the Cindered Bloom,¡± said the fae, her almost nonchalant demeanour at odds with all expectation. ¡°I apologise for the wait between your arrival and this moment. Time is a concept I often forget. And I rarely show myself to those I¡¯m not already acquainted with. Moreover, I wish to observe you first. Would you like to take a seat?¡± She nodded towards a vacant bar stool. And also the shiny red brick. Both were ignored. At least until the black cat padded across the table. It paused at the edge, yawned, then pawed tellingly towards the waiting seat. Marina rolled her eyes as she reluctantly sat down. The brick she still ignored. ¡°You already know who I am. I take it you understand why I¡¯m here as well?¡± ¡°No. But I¡¯ve an accurate supposition. There are only so many reasons why you¡¯d be sitting at my table while not nibbling on the fresh brick. Something social convention tells me I¡¯m not allowed to do until my guest does it first. I expect you have questions, Witch of Calamity.¡± Marina squeezed her hands beneath the table. She¡¯d informed nobody. Only the abominable girl and ¡­ her father. Neither should have been able to inform enough people that it¡¯d reach the far south of the kingdom. ¡°... How did you know?¡± ¡°I am a titled fae,¡± said Countess Yrainde, as though that was all the answer needed. ¡°Your eyes perceive magic like smoke rising from a cauldron. But mine see more than that. I see the volatility within you. The flames. The beating heart of calamity. It wishes to spread. To consume. That you¡¯ve maintained your cognitive functions and sense of self is commendable. Seeking a witch in order to learn whether or not you¡¯ll explode is only a sensible course of action.¡± Marina gawped. She¡¯d never once considered if that was a possibility. ¡°Will I¨C¡± ¡°Oh, I¡¯m afraid I don¡¯t know.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not a witch,¡± said the fae, adjusting her witch¡¯s hat. ¡°I just dress the part.¡± Suddenly, Marina¡¯s beating heart of calamity became just a little bit more unstable. ¡°You are a titled fae, as you¡¯ve just said. Can you not see what the effects of my powers are?¡± ¡°I can see your powers of calamity have recently awoken. And that if separated from your body, it would be enough to melt a marshmallow in 0.16 seconds. What that means for your continued state of existence is a specialised topic which requires a bona fide witch to advise on.¡± ¡°Yes, well, I was told there would be a witch here.¡± ¡°You were told wrong. But such is the rumour I sowed. I dress like a witch in order to invite those seeking them, who in almost all cases are other witches. But I also like the fabric.¡± Countess Yrainde tugged at her robes with a smile of satisfaction. Marina had nothing to say. She was too busy feeling that familiar note of disappointment. ¡°You¡¯re using yourself as a signpost.¡± ¡°Yes. I¡¯ve an agreement to fulfil. And while a delay of a few years is unlikely to ruffle any wings, I do pride myself on punctuality. Therefore, I myself am in need of a witch.¡± Marina wrinkled her nose. Not even a click of her tongue was enough for this. ¡°Then you¡¯ve found the wrong one,¡± said Marina, standing up from the table. ¡°Whatever your agreement is, I¡¯m in no position to help.¡± Countess Yrainde offered a tidy smile. ¡°You are incorrect. You require a witch¨Cand so do I. In this instance, we may assist each other without transaction or bargain. While knowledge is what you seek, your status is all that I need. After all, only you may enter the village of the witches. Or more specifically, the home of the Hexenkreis Clan.¡± Marina paused. The Hexenkreis Clan. To hear the name spoken was the first confirmation she received. Of all the witchly clans to have once grown roots in this kingdom, they were the ones least documented. And that meant they were the most likely to have survived. ¡°Where is it?¡± she asked simply. ¡°Somewhere in the heart of the Ivywood. The exact location is untraceable. A unique barrier is in effect, itself unseen by either the naked or magical eye. Any attempt to enter results in severe discomfort and also a hamstring cramp. Given what I¡¯ve observed, it¡¯s reasonable to assume that only witches of the Hexenkreis Clan may freely enter.¡± The fae pointed. ¡°That includes you.¡± Marina blinked. Then ¡­ she slowly sat back down. sea??h th§× n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. ¡°Have you tried making contact?¡± ¡°Oh, plenty of times. Never a squeak in reply. Our goals are therefore one and the same. If you could please inform the elder to tone down the barrier just enough that I¡¯m able to have a conversation, I¡¯ll be able to honour my half of the agreement and finish up my research here.¡± Marina creased her brows. The village of the witches was a place of tales, where magic and dreams were said to interweave. And that meant its residents were skilled at subtly keeping the busy bodies and pilgrims away. The presence of a barrier wasn¡¯t unusual. But the degree to which the witches were seemingly keeping themselves scarce was. A mystery few needed to solve. Until now. She expected only the worst. As usual. ¡°How do I reach the village?¡± she said, refusing to dwell for even a moment on hesitation. Countess Yrainde reached for the brick. She paused to allow Marina one last chance. When the offer passed, she began to nibble away. ¡°A passageway to a nearby landmark can be provided,¡± she said, as the brick slowly vanished. ¡°I use it to periodically inspect the barrier. So far, it¡¯s failed to wane. A highly curious thing. Fascinating, even. But I¡¯m certain you can judge it for yourself¨Cshould you deem the adventure worth the risk, of course.¡± ¡°A barrier is of no concern to me. Neither is whatever mystery has befallen the witches. I¡¯m not here to indulge in riddles or adventures. Whatever is in my path, I will circumvent or break.¡± The fae offered a curt nod. She gave the remains of her brick to the cat. To Marina¡¯s slight horror, it also began nibbling away at it. ¡°In that case, I should offer a disclaimer,¡± said Countess Yrainde, wiping away the clay crumbs from her lips. ¡°Your forays into the Fae Realm have not gone unnoticed, nor ungossiped about. And it¡¯s not only my eyes which perceive the flames within you. It¡¯s perilous to walk where others dream, Miss Lainsfont. Yet that¡¯s the path you tread. The home of the Hexenkreis Clan is a detour which may prove a step too far. I advise caution. There are worse things than fae out there.¡± Marina snorted. A word of caution by the fae. Now she knew to expect something even bleaker than her worst expectations. ¡°I¡¯ve a question,¡± said Marina, as she stood up once again. ¡°... Can the summer fae burn?¡± Countess Yrainde raised an eyebrow. There wasn¡¯t a hint of negativity in the reaction. Only curiosity. ¡°Should the flames be bright enough¨Cyes.¡± Marina nodded. It was all she needed to know. After all, it meant everything else could as well. Chapter 387: Somewhere In A Dream The heart of the Ivywood welcomed Marina with a slap to her face. It was followed by a sucker punch to her gut and then a sweep of her legs. There was no frantic windmilling of her arms as she snapped into existence. That level of indignity wasn''t available to her. Instead, it was a force which sent her spiralling in all directions like a drunkard in search of the nearest keg. The reason was clear. Magic. There was magic everywhere. It was total. Pervasive. She could taste it on her tongue. It was bitter, pleasant, acrid, vile, savoury, overpowering and mild. All the sensations which could be experienced over the course of a productive evening in her workshop had been condensed into a single moment. And the result was one added taste. Flowery ¡­ perhaps slightly nutty. After all¡ª ¡°Unnnnnngggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~¡± That was what the local pollen tasted like. Marina hugged her stomach as she knelt, all the while smothering her face with a bundle of grass. It was familiar. Mercifully so. A scent she could anchor onto, helping to stop the spinning of her head as she slowly willed her soul to return to her body. She waited, doing nothing but futilely fighting away the extreme nausea. Then, she caught a glimpse of something bright in the corner of her eye. A fruit slime. Small, red and round ¡­ just like the apples they slowly absorbed. And it was bouncing towards her. Utter despair filled Marina''s heart. She''d come so close. She was mere steps, mere moments away from unravelling the reasons for her existence. Her purpose. Her blood. To unravel the mystery behind the missing witches and her mother. And now she''d suffer defeat to a single poke. She knew it with utmost certainty. Like the moment after consuming far too much food over the course of a single meal just because Mrs. Tinnaman at The Black Fowl wanted to repay her for the knee ointment by using anything but crowns, she knew that just the faintest contact to her waist would destroy her. Horror consumed Marina as she watched the lowliest of monsters approach. She tried to shake her head as it happily bounced towards her. Bounce. Bounce. Bounce. Each motion like the pendulum of doom striking midnight. It only made her more desperate as a vision of the future flashed across her mind. A tombstone where she lay. Marina Lainsfont. Witch of Calamity. Defeated by a fruit slime. ¡°Nnnghhhhh ¡­ nooooooo ...¡± She clenched her teeth. She clenched her fists. She clenched her arms, shoulders and legs, the sheer weight of indignity taking hold of her quivering muscles as she forced herself to sit up. And then she gasped. Once. Twice. Three times. Until her vision began to sharpen and she could focus on more than just whatever was the brightest colour in her periphery. A haze of green washed over her. More grass. Shrubs. Trees adorned with so many leaves that their branches were weighed down like sheep desperately in need of a shear. With an effort she''d never expended before, a smidgeon of balance returned. And thus¡ª ¡°Shoo ¡­ shoo ¡­¡± She waved away the bringer of her demise. The fruit slime paused ¡­ and then it bounced away, either sensing its prey recovering or simply suspecting that nothing in Marina''s alchemy satchel was flavourful. If the latter, then it was correct. Everything she made tasted like medicine. Even if less than half the things she carried actually were. She dug into her satchel and retrieved one of the better ones, then uncorked it and drank. Relief flooded her at once, courtesy of a revitalising potion imbued with her favourite coffee extract. She stood up a moment later and took a deep breath, sucking in the air like a dragon readying to see the forest burn. A prospect Marina couldn''t rule out. Something had pulled ¡­ no, dragged her here. Her arrival had been disturbed. A concern. That was no simple teleportation spell she''d used. It was a fixed anchor designed by a fae countess. And yet she''d been fished out like a salmon hooked from a river. The interruption combined with the glut of magic in the air would have been enough to see any other mage succumb to the first caterpillar to crawl over them. Because this wasn''t just the Ivywood. This was a settlement. Marina narrowed her eyes as she gazed around her. She caught the homes scattered beneath the ancient branches. But these certainly weren''t the fluttering pavilions of elves in a forest. They were wooden, old, covered in moss ¡­ and also resembled the highly approximate shape of teapots, their tips functioning as chimneys and lids as rooftops. The home of the Hexenkreis Clan. She''d arrived. But far from rejoicing, Marina could only furrow her brows. And not only because the same barrier she''d intended to cross had drawn her inside instead. Something was wrong here. Despite the fruit slime bouncing away, a clear sombreness pervaded the air. The same as could be found in the midst of a graveyard. The reason was soon clear. Not a single sound was being emitted. There was no brush of leaves or cry of birdsong, despite the presence of sparrows overhead and the swaying of branches. All Marina heard instead was another intake of breath ¡­ followed shortly by the padding of her steps as she made her way towards the nearest giant teapot. It wasn''t long until she found her first witch. Beside a flattened trail dotted with sunflowers, a woman was watering a patch of roses growing between the oaks. She wore no telltale hat or formal robes, but an airy dress reminding Marina of a time where wearing a cloak and hood was no longer an occupational requirement. Even so, there was no doubt as to who she was. The roses were being watered using a wand. A crux favoured by apprentices. And also witches who favoured the oldest traditions of inefficiency. A stream of liquid poured forth from the end. But despite sparkling beneath the sunlight, it failed to connect with the flowers. The flowing water was utterly still ¡­ as was the witch directing it. Marina cautiously circled the motionless figure, taking in a sight even she''d never witnessed before. There were spells of paralysis which could mirror such complete lack of movement. This was clearly more than that. Even her magic had been affected. Time had ceased to move for this witch. ¡°[Sacred Dispel].¡± A faint glow shortly engulfed the woman as Marina''s spell weaved around her. No reaction. Marina nodded in acknowledgement. Any magic which altered the perception of time was amongst the most advanced. But a spell so potent it could wholly sever somebody from the strands of time was almost unheard of. An impressive feat. Particularly as this witch wasn''t the only subject. Marina proceeded onwards, following the sunflower trail as more of the village''s residents made themselves known. Some were caught mid-stride. Some were locked in conversation. But all were as oblivious to their plight as they were to Marina''s presence. There was no hint of horror upon their faces, or a counterspell exiting their lips. Whatever this was, it had come with neither warning nor delay. Eventually, Marina walked until something almost resembling a street appeared. The teapot homes sat side by side as wooden fences now formally marked the trail. Except it was more than sunflowers which began to litter the ground. Childish drawings of sunshine and families. Musical instruments both large and small. Colourful books bearing the titles of famed fairytales. Dolls smiling in eternal joy. Objects were scattered amidst the feet of the frozen witches. Each was another question before she''d received a single answer. Yet as she reached the end of the impromptu street, she discovered only the greatest riddle thus far. Why, amidst a village lost in time¡ª ¡°Would you like some more tea, Mr. Butterscotch? Miss Riririn says it''s very good. It pairs most nicely with the carrot cake. But if you wait one moment, I think that Lady Clover says that the hot cross buns will soon be ready.¡± ¡ªwas there a little girl having a picnic in a garden? Large shining eyes. A blue dress. A circlet of daisies upon her golden hair. Beneath the shade of the oldest and most gnarled oak tree yet, a child with a sweet and innocent appearance smiled away as she sat upon a blanket amidst swaying grass and wildflowers. Her company was a stuffed bear, a stuffed rabbit and a stuffed dog¡ªeach dutifully attended to with a teapot she held in both hands. It was clearly too unwieldy for her, but if there was any awkwardness in the weight, her smile didn''t betray it. She poured into the waiting cups, each paired with either a plate of carrot cake or a rectangular sandwich. Marina paused. Hesitancy was an emotion she rarely indulged in. But so were the demands of children. Anyone below waist height was very much not her forte. The few children who entered her shop were more likely to wreck it than convince their parents to buy the sweets nobody ever did. Despite them being excellent. However, this wasn¡¯t the reason for her caution. It was the magic. The little girl was making little attempt to hide it. Marina could see the spellwork like a spider threading its webs. A strand for every witch, each a fine trail before vanishing into the ether. The source of the mass statis. Clearly noteworthy. Being a child prodigy herself, Marina knew more than any other that even the most gifted of mages had limits. Although she could frighten away a fruit slime from her kitchen window, locking away so many mages was something she could never have achieved. At least deliberately. It was all the acknowledgement she allowed before she approached. ¡°... Are you responsible for this?¡± asked Marina, discarding preamble as she stared down at the picnic gathering. The little girl continued pouring her tea. ¡°Look, Mr. Butterscotch. The Witch of Calamity wants to ask us a question. And she doesn''t even sit down to introduce herself first. How can we answer her when she won''t even show the littlest of manners?¡± Marina creased her brows. The fae were one thing. But a child was quite another. ¡°You know who I am already. But I don''t know who you are.¡± ¡°I''m the hostess of this tea party. And if you''d like to join us in conversation, you''ll need to sit down and introduce yourself. I might know you, but Mr. Butterscotch, Miss Riririn and Lady Clover do not.¡± The little girl pointed at her companions. Marina ignored them all. ¡°I''m not here for a tea party. I''m here for the witches. Do you know why they''re now held in time?¡± ¡°I don''t. But then again, they''re hardly held in time.¡± ¡°They''re not moving.¡± ¡°To you, maybe. But to me, I see them stretching, reaching and laughing. Just very slowly. Oh so slowly. It''d be most terrible if they were actually truly frozen. It''d mean they¡¯re also stuck with the same dull thoughts as well. Can you imagine how awful that''d be? Mrs. Rancel thought she''d left her door unlocked. You can see her turning in panic. I think that sort of anxiety shouldn''t be suffered forever. Just a few centuries is enough.¡± The little girl nodded towards a nearby witch. A glance was enough to confirm the expression of dread stuck to her face. Marina frowned. The cruelty of mages old and young rarely moved her heart. But even this seemed excessive. She also often left her door unlocked. ¡°I see. Not a true time stop, then. Just something an inch less powerful.¡± ¡°That''s just mean. My spell is much closer than an inch. It''s at least a crumb as close to the real thing. Would you like me to show you how it''s done?¡± ¡°You can show me how it ends. I¡¯ve business with the Hexenkreis Clan.¡± A round of giggling answered her. ¡°Always in a rush, Miss Witch of Calamity. Enough to forget why you¡¯re actually here. Will you sit down with us? We¡¯ve so much to talk about and so many snacks to share. We can even become friends.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not here for a picnic.¡± ¡°Because of the carrot cake? ¡­ In that case, we''ve hot cross buns as well. Lady Clover says they''re just ready. There''s marmalade as well. My favourite combination. We can eat while I answer all the wonderful questions which brought you here. Isn''t there lots you want to ask me?¡± ¡°Yes, I suppose there is.¡± ¡°Good! Now, was it the carrot cake or the¡ª¡± ¡°But anything you can answer, so can the adults.¡± Marina raised a fingertip, now certain no defences were in place. ¡°[Greater Disjunction].¡± The spell struck the little girl in the chest. Whatever powers this enigma boasted, there was a limit. And it would stop at the first mage who didn''t need a wand to employ magic. To alter the perception of time over such a wide area was a monumental feat. But Marina didn¡¯t need to understand the spell to disrupt it. Sear?h the ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. The greater the burden, the weaker the supports. Thus, Marina waited ¡­ and then she continued to wait. ¡°Did you see that, everyone?¡± said the little girl with a clap of her hands. ¡°The Witch of Calamity doesn''t just want to talk. She wants to play. In that case ¡­ who wants to go first? Mr. Butterscotch, perhaps?¡± Marina sent a frown towards the nearest witch, still motionless in the act of a sneeze. A specialised interruption spell had made direct impact upon an active casting source with no barriers, runes or wards to act as mitigation. Even so, the magic seeping from the girl didn¡¯t so much as ripple. A defiance of both common logic and magical theory. And so Marina could only click her tongue as she considered the benefits of using her stern shopkeeper voice instead. All the more so since Mr. Butterscotch suddenly began to grow bigger. Much bigger. Enough that as the seams began to break and muscles, flesh, fangs and literal hellfire replaced cotton, she came to an important conclusion. From now on, she¡¯d ban all children from her shop. Chapter 388: Hide And Seek Bwoomph. Bwoomph. Bwoomph. Marina didn¡¯t know if Mr. Butterscotch was the bear, the rabbit or the dog. All she knew was that it didn¡¯t belong here. Just like she didn¡¯t. ¡°Haah ¡­ haaah ¡­ haah ¡­¡± Marina grimaced. Her calves, heels and what was very likely her kidneys ached without end. Even so, she was spared little room for respite. The sweat dribbled past her brows, burning her eyes as she sprinted, stumbled and swerved between the ancient oaks, her palms sore from the rough bark as she yet again paused to gather her breath. All to utter a single spell. ¡°[Force Recall]!¡± Marina tensed. She waited for the familiar ignominy of appearing at her chosen destination utterly shorn of even her undergarments. It was a heavy price for any normal young woman to pay. But with it came an escape which required less incantation time and focus than her regular repertoire of teleportation spells. It failed. Somewhere above, an almost indiscernible sheen revealed the presence of a barrier which Marina had most certainly not breached. How she¡¯d been pulled into the midst of the witchly village, she had utterly no idea. All she knew was that it meant escape would need to be done the hard way. A significant issue. Marina didn¡¯t actually know what that was. Bwoomph. Bwoomph. Bwoomph. She groaned as the oaks began to tremble¨Cand then continued to sprint, stumble and swerve. Witches. Barely arriving in their absurd village and she¡¯d already seen enough to make the Royal Institute of Mages look like a paradigm of health and safety. Because while the apprentices there regularly competed to conjure things with more teeth than the next, it was at least with the contingency plan that when it all went terribly wrong, the instructors were there to put out the fire. Not here. Everybody in a position of responsibility was seemingly paralysed. But that wasn¡¯t the main issue. No ¡­ it was the fact that the thing a little child had conjured was fire. Marina dared to glance behind her. The eyes of an infernal monstrosity burned, its form lost amidst its own billowing smoke. Here and there, something akin to blackened fur could be seen as a twisted paw pummeled the ground. Each came with a minor quake as it left a trail of destruction in its wake. Where the monster went, the forest vanished, lost amidst flames so gluttonous that they were given no time to spread. They gorged upon themselves, leaving behind nothing but a path of smouldering craters. This was no beast she recognised. But that was hardly surprising. Despite the admittedly poor company she kept, the fact remained that she¡¯d yet to consort with the worst that the world could offer. And that included what awaited below it as well. For example¨C Bwoomph. Bwoomph. Bwoomph. A creature summoned from the lowest depths of the abyss. A nightmare courtesy of the hells. What type of twisted fiend this was, few could say. Mostly since they were dead. And that included their summoners. To demand the loyalty of even a fluffy terrier was foolish. But to expect it of an infernal beast was simply moronic. That required strength far beyond what any normal mage could achieve. Children included. ¡°You seem happy to play,¡± mused a voice echoing amongst the trees. ¡°But that''s not how this works. Before we can begin, we need to agree what the game is. Otherwise Mr. Butterscotch won¡¯t know whether or not he¡¯s won. Since he¡¯s always happy to make new friends, it¡¯d be awful if he became a little too enthusiastic.¡± Marina heard as the monster trundled forwards. There was no choking snarl to drown out the relentless pursuit. Only a constant hiss like water tossed into a hearth. A thing as unnerving as it was unnecessary. Retreating from a child was one of her least dignified moments, but the thought of being defeated by one was even worse. If, indeed, a child was what she was. The list of possibilities flashed through her mind. Warlock. Blood mage. Vampire. Diabolist. Necromancer. Any choice of occupation would explain her young appearance. If she was proficient enough to commune directly with the hells, then it was all too easy to change how she looked, height and all. And that meant a mockery of all the skin moisturising balms she made. Here was an adversary even more worthy of disdain than first thought. ¡°Ah! I see now! You¡¯re playing hide and seek, aren¡¯t you? In that case, let¡¯s make this a fun little bet! How about ¡­ if you win, I''ll tell you everything you want to know about your terrible curse. But if you lose, you''ll have to join me for a picnic.¡± Suddenly, the quaking stopped. As Marina glanced behind her once more, she saw to her bewilderment and horror that the giant paws were at last revealed, streaked with burning veins and somebody else¡¯s blood. And now they were covering the eyes of whatever hid beneath the cloak of smoke and flames. ¡°Mr. Butterscotch will obey the rules. So find somewhere nice to hide, okay? ¡­ 10, 9, 8 ...¡± Marina stopped at once. She instinctively knew what to do. Prudence was firm on the matter. She needed to immediately take advantage of this lapse of judgement and withdraw. This was an unknown foe who possessed highly specialised magic as well as a keen awareness of Marina''s circumstances. S~ea??h the Novel?ire(.)ne*t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. ¡°7, 6, 5, 4 ...¡± Any other location was favourable. And she¡¯d find one. Teleportation was her forte. Whatever barrier existed, she could brute force her way through. ¡°3, 2, 1 ...¡± Afterwards, she needed to plan. To observe. This opponent had vulnerabilities. As impressive as her spellwork was, magic had both rules and costs. Sealing away an entire village required enormous finesse. And that meant susceptibility to a well-timed push. Patience was the key. Just as it was for any task. Yes ¡­ Marina knew exactly what to do. ¡°Ready or not¨C¡± ¡°¨CHere I come.¡± Marina swept around, both hands raised towards Mr. Butterscotch. ¡°[Sacred Divine Celestial Sunflare Hexbeam]!!¡± Fwoooooooooooooooosh. It was the most horrific spell she¡¯d ever conceived. An amateurish, shoddy thing hastily slapped together like a collage of vomit from different schools. It was ugly, inefficient and deeply cumbersome to cast. But if it was good enough to blast a lich into the horizon, then it was sufficient for this. The fiend reacted immediately. It leapt on the spot. A visage of howling death as it opened its maws, seeking to consume the stream of semi-holy flames hurtling towards it. The creature was torn asunder as easily as the stuffed toy it once was. Because as of now ¡­ Marina was officially tired of patience. She was tired of the indignity. Of the failures. Of the retreats. Of those who offered more strings than help. And of the fact that everybody knew more about herself than she did. She was tired of it all. And right now¨C ¡°Miss Witch Of Calamity,¡± came an amused voice directly behind her. ¡°You don''t seem to know the rules of hide and seek. But that''s okay. I can show you.¡± ¨Cshe was most tired of humouring whatever hag was playing at being a little girl. ¡°[Conflagration Nova]!¡± Marina sent a shimmering blast of heat in all directions. The spell tore through everything around her, melting even the carcass of a fiend born of flames. And yet as she pressed her heels in the freshly blackened circle and swept around, what greeted her wasn¡¯t the sight of a pretend child¡¯s ashes. Instead, it was a smile. Playful, lively and innocent. Just like the smiles which filled Rolstein¡¯s streets each time the midday bell rang and the little troublemakers were released from their schooling at the church. But Marina hadn¡¯t expected anything else. That¡¯s why a tiny vial of alarmingly green liquid was also in her hand when she turned. ¡°Hm ¡­ ?¡± A pair of childish eyes blinked as the impromptu weapon was tossed. For a moment, she made no reaction as the vial lifted from a satchel broke upon the front of her blue dress. There wasn''t even a wince, the only harm coming in the form of a small blotch. At least until she began to smoke. The little girl blinked. And at last, her smile faltered. The blotch began to grow. And then it blackened as the last drops of an experiment with alchemical dragonfire came into effect. The latest improvement to the unquenchable flames last seen engulfing the heart of Aquina Castle. It was enough to melt stone and ice. And also the magic which shielded her. The little girl tugged at her dress. But it was already too late. ¡°Goodness, what a terrible thing you''ve spilled on me.¡± However¨C Far from her eyes widening as her body began to smoulder, she simply gazed down with an academic''s curiosity as the concoction went to work. There was no desperate palming, thrashing or rolling. No mournful cry of regret as the sound of hissing filled the air and her skin began to melt. There was only a hole in the dress. Click. And then it was mended. A feat Mrs Lorina in her shabby tailoring shop would murder several times to be able to achieve. The hole was sewn anew. Except neither a needle nor an arcane spell had been weaved from the snapping of the girl¡¯s fingers. It was something else. An incendiary spark like flint being struck, its hue the same as the flames which had shrouded a former stuffed animal. Marina¡¯s eyes narrowed. Questions came in place of answers. All except for one. The girl¡¯s identity. ¡°I see the witches have been busy,¡± said Marina, straightening her back. ¡°I wonder what moronic needs they had which required the services of a devil.¡± The infernal guest smiled. ¡°Ah. The secret is out. What a shame. It was meant to be a bonus reward if you could hide from Mr. Butterscotch. Instead, you sent him off to nap.¡± Marina pursed her lips. A devil was a force beyond anything she had ever known. Only that one cranky auntie who demanded to know why the discounts were only at 40% instead of 50% on a busy weekend could compare. Yet even as prudence told her not to exchange words, an all too familiar fury welled up within her. The flames of something ancient and unfathomable whipped at the edges of her soul. A dark urge which whispered into her ears and lifted her hands, wishing to utterly burn this filthy, impudent creature who did not know its place in the hierarchy of the world. She forced the feeling away, her fists curled tight. ¡°... Hm? What¡¯s wrong? Have you suddenly decided you¡¯ve nothing to say? And here I thought you always had a comment to make.¡± The child clapped her hands. ¡°Ahh, I see! Maybe you think if you¡¯re dull enough, I¡¯ll leave and let you be? ¡­ I¡¯m afraid it doesn¡¯t work that way. I¡¯m playing with the witches for a reason. And I can¡¯t leave until I¡¯m done. If you want to see me gone, you need to do it the proper way. The calamitous way.¡± She pointed to her heart. ¡°You can use your powers,¡± she said brightly. ¡°The ones you deny, even though it bleeds into your every action. Trying to separate yourself from the flames is like a pastry chef trying to remove butter from a croissant. You can¡¯t have it both ways. Either you¡¯re the Witch of Calamity ¡­ or you¡¯re boring. And the things I find boring I discard very fast.¡± The girl leaned forwards ever so slightly. ¡°However, were you to truly make use of the gift afforded to you, it¡¯d be enough to overpower anything which walks this world. You needn¡¯t stop at myself. Anybody who fails to offer the respect you deserve can be swiped away with less than a thought.¡± Marina wrinkled her nose. She wouldn¡¯t be a mage if thoughts of being able to manage the most unruly of customers after her hangover tonics wasn¡¯t slightly tempting. Yet while no words from a devil could be trusted, she trusted the curse within her even less. ¡°Tempt someone else. I¡¯m not here to indulge in whatever this wretched curse is. I¡¯m here for answers. To everything. And I will find them regardless of who or what is in my way.¡± The child¡¯s smile only widened. ¡°How amusing. But such a starring role isn¡¯t yours to take. You are, after all, merely a distraction from the main event. And your cue has already come and passed. Unless you want to join me for a picnic?¡± ¡°My time has yet to come. You and your picnics won¡¯t be part of it.¡± ¡°Now that¡¯s just¨C¡± Marina didn¡¯t allow the response. Having now determined the correct course of action, magic pooled in her hands as she suddenly moved. ¡°[Celestial Radiant Sanctification Divine Holy Expulsion].¡± A shimmering wave of pure, golden light swept over the child. It was a force powerful enough to cause her to take a step backwards. The golden locks of her hair wildly swayed, while her dress billowed as though caught in a gale. The devil blinked in surprise. Then, she slowly patted herself. ¡°... Did you just invent a spell made up of lots of holy words?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Marina did her best to look dignified. ¡°Holy magic isn¡¯t my forte. Did it work?¡± ¡°Were I a devil selling hats ¡­ shockingly, perhaps it would have. But I¡¯m a little higher on the ladder. It will take more to banish me.¡± ¡°Tch.¡± Marina clicked her tongue. She was hoping to avoid doing this the hard way. Especially now she knew what that involved. An incredible amount of grief. ¡°A shame,¡± said the child, her overly bright smile replaced by something alarmingly genuine. ¡°I thought you were the dullest Witch of Calamity to ever exist. But now you¡¯ve managed to briefly amuse me. That makes you deserving of a reward more than the witches who I intended for you to join.¡± As she raised her hand, a flurry of embers began to swirl around it. ¡°So¨CMiss Marinara, let me show you how it¡¯s done.¡± ¡°I will destroy you!¡± came the response, as a Witch of Calamity¡¯s righteous fury immediately boiled over. ¡°I will burn you into such cinders that you will beg the heavens to piece you back together!¡± The devil laughed. Her lips moved. Yet whatever words she spoke next, Marina didn¡¯t hear. Instead ¡­ she could only feel herself falling down, down and down. Chapter 389: The Most Likely Suspect A golden brush of afternoon sunlight washed over the old town of Wirtzhaven. Ordinarily, this was the same colour which would be glinting from the tankards of every drunkard. As the main trading port of my kingdom¡¯s south, it was only natural that every inch of its winding alleys and docks would play host to a bar, a pub, a tavern or an inn. Each played an important role, diligently containing the sailors who¡¯d otherwise accidentally wander into a guild hall and make the leap into becoming drunken adventurers instead. Of course, the fact that I knew the difference between these various establishments was a scar against my purity that would never heal. And the fact that I also knew to avert my gaze from every sewer grate in order to preserve what remained was so appalling that other princesses would feel duty-bound to lob plant pots at my head until I forgot such wisdom. Today, however, things were different. I wasn¡¯t required to warily watch the tallest windows for vigilante princesses seeking to ease my ordeal. In fact ¡­ I didn¡¯t even need to tightly hold onto Apple¡¯s reins, ready to urge him to sneeze on any layabout agile enough to stumble past Coppelia¡¯s wandering foot. The raucousness of drunken sailors mysteriously falling on their faces had been replaced. A different joy was in the air instead. A cacophony of cheering, rapturous applause and barely contained glee. Like the conclusion of a play at the Royal Arc Theatre after the audience had peeked up at my royal box and confirmed I was withholding my final projectile fruit, all of Wirtzhaven was jumping on the spot. And the reason was clear. Me. Ohohohohohoho! It was ¡­ It was wonderful!! All around me, loyalty shone past the mud upon the faces of my subjects! Hands waved for my attention as they celebrated the arrival of their beloved princess! Children sat smiling upon shoulders! Pouches of copper, silver and gold were desperately flung towards the Royal Treasury! At long last, a reception befitting my high status ¡­ and also my bright smile! There was just one problem. ¡°Look, look! I have gold! My entire savings! I¡¯m right here! Let me spend it!¡± ¡°It¡¯s amazing! They have everything I didn¡¯t even know I needed!¡± ¡°A hat that makes your hair flutter without a breeze ¡­ a fork which can lift up soup ¡­ a pair of socks that will never be mismatched ¡­ I want it all!¡± ¡°My turn! Let me through, I¡¯ve been camping here since yesterday!¡± They weren¡¯t actually looking at me. Naturally, my beauty was as mesmerising as a medusa¡¯s gaze. To seek out my reflection instead was only prudent. Except that as Apple continually parted the crowd, the abundance of unpolished silverware usually touted by the stallkeepers lining my towns were absent. As were the stalls themselves. They¡¯d decided to move elsewhere. And the reason was soon clear. There was no business to be had. Despite the size of the crowd, not a single crown remained to be spent. Because against their new competition, there could be no victory. Only a sheer drop into bankruptcy. I wrinkled my nose as a familiar odour disturbed me. That of blatant profiteering. ¡°Trolls.¡± I let out a groan. ¡°Trolls!¡± Coppelia beamed as she raised her arms in enthusiasm, accidentally misplacing the proper look of utter horror. ¡°Oooh, this is great! I wasn¡¯t expecting a troll caravan here! This means I get to discreetly sell some of my legally acquired loot!¡± I nodded and frowned ¡­ all the while wisely forgetting the last words she just said. Indeed, this was a travesty! With a bear having taken up residence on a bridge, the trolls clearly felt they couldn¡¯t allow their status as the royalty of inconveniences to be usurped! Now they were causing a public scene in one of my towns as well! I was utterly appalled. After all ¡­ that was my role! Sear?h the Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. ¡°Wha¨C how dare they! With trolls distracting the people, they can no longer cheer us upon our arrival!¡± ¡°I mean, I don¡¯t think they ever cheered us anyway.¡± ¡°Well, perhaps not in voice ¡­ but certainly in spirit! Our presence is always enough to lift the hearts of all to see us! How will the downtrodden ever raise themselves once they realise we were once here? Such regret is enough to see any commoner turn into a layabout!¡± ¡°Hmm ¡­ if I had to guess, probably by indulging in great bargains! We should have a look!¡± ¡°At the trolls?¡± I let out a gasp. ¡°Absolutely not. As a princess, I will not embolden their stay as they pillage my kingdom. Moreover, we¡¯re not here for trinkets and baubles, but an errant mage.¡± Coppelia gave me a wide smile. It was harder to ignore than the strands of luminous hair I glimpsed around me. ¡°In that case, we should definitely visit the trolls. They get around a lot. And they hear everything. I bet they¡¯ll know something about a stressed woman who can¡¯t go anywhere without people pointing at her.¡± ¡°Yes ¡­ and I¡¯m certain such information will only cost half of the Royal Vault.¡± I shook my head. ¡°No, I shall not entertain whatever bargains they hope to drive with me.¡± ¡°Okie~ does that mean we¡¯re going to the guild? Because I¡¯m sure the receptionist lady there will help.¡± I paused. ¡°O-On the other hand, as a princess, I must also look to ensure that no stone is left unturned when it comes to securing the prosperity of my kingdom. Perhaps I could afford to make a cursory inquiry while the trolls are still here ¡­¡± ¡°Uwah~ being a princess sounds hard. You need to do two things you equally don¡¯t want to do.¡± ¡°Then I simply need to do something wildly in my favour to balance it out.¡± I raised my head in pride¨Call the while ignoring the giggling which came my way. ¡°... Very well! If we must converse with trolls, then I can at least remind them of the tax obligations they continually worm their way out of.¡± ¡°Eeeeh ¡­ I dunno, trolls don¡¯t really do taxes. Anywhere.¡± I nodded as I tugged on Apple¡¯s reins. True, to impress the concept of taxes onto trolls was a thing only slightly less likely than my noble steed trotting faster. But where there was a princess, there was a way. I didn¡¯t accept no for an answer. Just like Apple didn¡¯t accept obstacles. There was no sense of organisation to this crowd. No queue. Only a mass of excited faces eager to see their coins vanish into the abyss. And that meant ignoring the grumbling of everyone now officially in our way. Apple snorted as he trotted his way through the centre of Wirtzhaven. Eventually, however, an open square rewarded his effort. Or at least as open as any location occupied by trolls could be. They were utterly shameless. 8 foot tall, armoured in black iron and wielding clubs as large as tree trunks, the trolls formed a ring around their precious carriages, scratching their backs as they only allowed prospective buyers to view their wares from a distance. Polished glass, jewellery and weapons conned from a distant ancestor of mine glimmered from the retractable shelves upon the side of the carriages. As I encouraged Apple to approach, a troll immediately came to answer. But there was no raising of a club. No pointing to the back of an invisible line. After all¨C ¡°Greetings, madame. It is a delight to see a returning customer. I hope your last purchase has served you well?¡± Trolls would not have their reputation if they could not recognise their most valuable clientele. Especially ones they¡¯d met before. I held back my surprise. Why ¡­ these were the same ones as before! The trolls who¡¯d willfully blocked my path until the moment I¡¯d used my financial acumen to swindle ¡­ I mean, to exchange a cursed seashell for 500 gold crowns which somehow became a bottomless pouch! Which was excellent! They already knew to fear my skills of diplomacy! Ohohohoho! ¡­ And that meant an opportunity for them to learn to fear it even more! ¡°The bottomless pouch is underwhelming,¡± I declared at once. ¡°Anything which it can carry, so can a normal pouch. And with far better results. It¡¯s utterly unsuitable as a container for bakery products. There¡¯s a distinct taste which occurs to anything placed within it. I wish for reimbursement.¡± The troll nodded at once, a deep concern ready to be feigned in whatever excuse to come. ¡°I see. It is unfortunate that the madame has been unable to use such a versatile item which was nevertheless not designed for the storage of perishable food items to its full extent. I regret, however, that all sales are final.¡± I leaned in slightly, hovering over Apple¡¯s mane. ¡°I was sold a bottomless pouch which was described as indispensable. It isn¡¯t. The product is unfit for purpose. If it cannot hold a croissant, then what good is it for? ¡­ I demand a partial refund of 600 gold crowns.¡± ¡°Madame, 600 gold crowns is not a partial refund. That number exceeds the 500 gold crowns used to purchase it.¡± ¡°Exactly. This is a discount. Because for the harm caused to my expectations, nothing short of every crown you possess is suitable as compensation. Be glad that I¡¯m both charitable and generous.¡± The troll stared at me. A moment later, he turned to the nearest other troll. A scratch of their backs, a murmur and another scratch of their backs later, I was offered a blink. ¡°I have consulted with my colleague. We apologise for any inconvenience. But while I still cannot issue a refund, I would like to offer a highly discretionary discount as a token of redress. May I direct you to look upon the carriage reserved for our most valuable customers to your left?¡± ¡°Absolutely not. I want gold. Not a discount.¡± ¡°And gold you may have ¡­ in the form of the Meridian Bracelet, famously worn by the Queen Under The Sea to bring sunlight down into the very depths of the ocean.¡± ¡°No.¡± ¡°There is also the Everlasting Hourglass, used by the Pirate Lord Regalon the Golden to ensure the prosperity of his glittering domain for so long as the sand continues to pour.¡± ¡°No.¡± ¡°The Gilded Veil, used as a curtain by the Elven Countess Delyana of the Singing Hearth to ensure that even when winter came, the warmth of summer would always shine upon her study.¡± ¡°No.¡± The troll paused. ¡°Madame, you appear to not be looking.¡± ¡°Indeed,¡± I said as I confidently stared towards the sky. ¡°My apologies, but I¡¯m hardly one of the curious stablegirls you¡¯re distracting from housing my horse. I¡¯m aware of how this works. You intend to enamour me with a litany of artifacts until I can no longer see anything else.¡± ¡°A most astute observation. Our exclusive artifacts are truly blinding. All the more so when they would literally diminish if presented before unsuitable customers ¡­ such as the fabled Tiara of the Last Dawn, the greatest work to be crafted by the artisans of the mythical Sunforge. Reserved exclusively for our most discerning clientele, its dazzling light fades when peered upon by the unworthy. Yet if it continues to shine, then it is proof that you are truly of the finest character.¡± I pursed my lips. Then ¡­ I quickly stole a peek. A tiara set with a dozen white diamonds lay on a cushion nearby, newly revealed in a carriage window. It was like my face in the mornings. An unblemished treasure which reflected ¡­ no, exuded sunlight. The troll nodded. ¡°I see it is indeed shining. As expected, the madame is a most worthy candidate.¡± I rolled my eyes, utterly unimpressed by such novelty. After all ¡­ it was only natural that any self-respecting artifact would recognise me for being worthy! ¡°Ohohohohoho!! O-Of course! For a rare and flawless tiara to continue to shine in my presence is the least of expectations! To see my own light and hope to match it is the desire of all bright things! Even so, such a trinket pales in comparison!¡± ¡°Precisely. The Tiara of the Last Dawn is suitable to complement the madame¡¯s high stature. Its dimmer light serves as both a contrast and a message to rivals, friends and foes. Rarely have I seen such a fitting a match. I am therefore offering this tiara at a 97% discount.¡± My mouth widened. I was prepared to decline whatever ridiculous offer was made to me ¡­ but a 97% discount? Why, that was the same price Apple was being mistakenly sold for when in that library gift shop! ¡°E-Excuse me? Did I hear that correctly? ¡­ You wish to sell this tiara for such a steep discount?¡± ¡°Indeed I do. For it is the largest concession I can offer in recognition for such a valued customer.¡± ¡°I ¡­ I see! ¡­ And what is the cost usually?¡± ¡°Its current value is 784,630 gold crowns. You may, however, have it for a nominal cost of 27,462 gold crowns. It is essentially a small administrative fee for our time in keeping the tiara immaculately maintained for your arrival. A minor, but necessary expense to ensure our continued ability to trade.¡± I was utterly stunned. To pay such a small fee made it practically free! I was practically duty-bound to purchase it! Even so ¡­ 27,462 gold crowns was a somewhat larger sum than I had on hand ¡­ considerably so ¡­ in fact, to offer such an amount would drastically impact our cr¨ºpe budget ¡­ Unless ¡­ ¡°It was a pleasure doing business with you,¡± said a beaming Coppelia, shaking hands with a troll off to the side. ¡°If you need anything else you never ever bought from me, just let me know!¡± I clapped my hands in delight. My, how convenient! Indeed, Coppelia had gold! I could simply ask her! Once I purchased the tiara, it¡¯d be a simple matter of compensating her once I¡¯d returned to the Royal Villa! All we had to do first was ¡­ hmmmm? Wait, what did we come here to do? Or rather, why was I even outside the Royal Villa in the first place? Wirtzhaven was so far from my orchard. The air was filled with salt and squawking gulls. It¡¯s hardly like there was anything else here ¡­ not unless I¡¯d come to ¡­ Ah ¡­ !!? It happened again ¡­ !! ¡°C-Cease this at once!¡± I said, shielding my eyes with my arm. ¡°Your foul sorcery will not work on me! I¡¯m not here to trade! I came seeking information!¡± ¡°Oh?¡± The troll didn¡¯t betray a hint of disappointment in his voice. ¡°And how may I assist such a prominent customer?¡± ¡°I need to know if you¡¯ve seen a woman. That is all. She dresses in scandalous attire, reacts unfavourably to being referred to by name, gives villainous speeches and is the origin of the gaudy streaks of luminous hair which plagues this town.¡± A hum met my detailed query. ¡°Then perhaps I might be of use. Our caravan came to Wirtzhaven to purchase a sample of the vials which result in the luminous hair. And while I cannot say if this is the same woman you seek, we have made our own enquiries regarding the source.¡± Far from relief, all I felt was horror. It was the worst case scenario. The trolls had come for the vials. If Miss Lainsfont¡¯s fashion travesty was not stopped, then this disease against common sensibility would spread to all the kingdom! ¡°I see.¡± I nodded seriously. ¡°Then I¡¯ve come not a moment too late. Do you know her whereabouts?¡± ¡°We have heard rumours. But we trolls are merchants of fine items. Not dealers of hearsay. We could not abide the possibility of offering information which might prove incorrect or harmful. It would be poor for our standing.¡± All of a sudden, the light seeping past my arm diminished. I braved a peek to see the cushion bearing the tiara being swept away by a gauntleted hand somewhere in the carriage. It was replaced scarcely a breath later by another cushion, this time bearing a black orb as suspicious as it was shiny. ¡°The Seeing Stone, however, is a different matter,¡± said the troll confidently. ¡°It is an item of unparalleled craftsmanship recently retrieved from the depths of the Emerald Sea, capable of pointing its user towards wherever they need to go. And it is yours ¡­ all for a bargain price of 10,000 gold crowns.¡± I was outraged. ¡°Excuse me! I will not purchase an oversized pebble just for it to point me off a cliff!¡± ¡°If the price is a concern, that is negotiable.¡± ¡°Very well. Then I shall accept it for 0 gold crowns. After all, that¡¯s the cost for me to obtain any information I need. Loathe as I am to admit it, those at the guild have a talent for mild usefulness when it comes to news.¡± ¡°Indeed. The network of the Adventurer¡¯s Guild is highly capable. But also not infallible.¡± ¡°And this trinket is, then?¡± ¡°Not at all. Such a claim would be the realm of deceit, and we only speak the truth regarding our wares. But it can be useful. And also yours for 0 gold crowns as requested ¡­ providing you¡¯ve something of appropriate value to exchange.¡± I gasped at the insult. Why, I was a princess! That meant everything I carried was beyond value! If he wanted to trade, he¡¯d need to offer everything he possessed for even whatever was on my soles! ¡°Is that so? ¡­ Then I decline. I¡¯m afraid I¡¯ve absolutely nothing which would be appropriate to exchange for a mere rock.¡± ¡°That is no obstacle.¡± A familiar glint of opportunism appeared in the troll¡¯s dark eyes. ¡°On the contrary, what we¡¯d like is not something which the madame currently possesses. We¡¯ve a request¨Cif there is time to hear it.¡± ¡°Time is something I have in short supply. The only thing less is patience for requests to dig up cursed seashells possessed by revenants without informing me of such details.¡± The troll scratched his back. ¡°A gross oversight for which we have already offered recompense. It is an error we will not make again. Fortunately, such concerns are not warranted now. The item we seek this time poses no danger, for it was already in our possession ¡­ before it was stolen.¡± I raised an eyebrow. My, but wasn¡¯t this something? I¡¯d thought that nothing would stop me from ordering Apple to snort on my behalf. Yet instead of giving his reins the secret tug, I found myself almost curious. Trolls were known for many things. But to be victims of theft was very rare. Few were so foolish as to try. And even fewer were successful. More than clubs guarded their carriages, after all. ¡°... Is that so? And what is the nature of this stolen item? It must be considerable to risk the ire of trolls.¡± ¡°The item itself is unimportant. It is a pearl necklace. The likes of which the madame has likely seen many times before. Ordinarily, we would not have it in our possession, but it was included as part of a broader purchase. Yet it is as you suggest. To steal from a troll caravan is unacceptable. There must be a resolution. We are therefore willing to offer a reward far in excess of the value of the stolen item for its return.¡± I nodded ¡­ all the while barely concealing my smile. Well now. Wasn¡¯t this the quaintest thing? A troll pretending that anything they carried was anything short of outrageously priced. Which meant if they were willing to offer me a bauble for this necklace, then they would be willing to offer more as well once it was before them. After all ¡­ it would be truly tragic if word of this lapse of famed troll security were ever to escape. Ohohohoohhohohohohoho!! ¡°I see. I truly grieve for such an insult against you. Who would dare commit such a heinous crime?¡± ¡°A cat.¡± I paused. ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°A black cat.¡± The troll scratched his back. ¡°Bombay, I believe. With sleek black fur and unusually green eyes. Aside from that, there are no distinguishing characteristics. It was last seen scampering towards the direction of the park. It is a cunning thief, far too nimble for us to capture.¡± The troll waited for a response. None came. ¡°... It is most fortunate that the madame is here. Your name was extensively recommended by the Adventurer¡¯s Guild when we posted our commission. They informed us that you are renowned for the rescuing of felines, having broken numerous long-standing records. If I may say so, the reputation you have garnered is most impressive. Few adventurers are so ardent in their pursuit of the safe return of household cats. I myself own one, albeit it is less troublesome than the thief responsible for this missing necklace.¡± I simply nodded. Then, I tugged on Apple¡¯s reins and turned him around. ¡°Madame? That is not the direction to the park.¡± ¡°Oh, I know. I¡¯m heading for the guild.¡± ¡°Ah, I see. Does the madame wish to enlist assistance?¡± ¡°No.¡± I offered an angelic smile. ¡°I¡¯m going to seek compensation for irreparable damage to my reputation.¡± Book 10 Stub Reminder!!!!!! Hi there! S§×ar?h the N?vel(F)ire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. This is a gentle reminder to new (?) readers that Book 10 of the Villainess Is An SS+ Rank Adventurer (this time featuring the A-rank adventurer Liliane Harten in barmaid form) will be stubbed on the 26th. Afterwards, a freshly edited eBook version will be made available on Kindle, KU and Audiobook (soon?). Book 10 consists of chapters 316-346, with Book 10 beginning chapter 347 (Oasis Of Dreams). Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy it!! Chapter 390: Adventurer’s Quest Coppelia nodded enthusiastically at the sight ahead of us. ¡°Oooh~ no wonder the guild talks about you so much! You¡¯re really good at this finding cats stuff, huh?¡± My response was to seek comfort in the darkness of my palms. As a princess, I was excellent at everything I did owing to the fact that I could bribe anyone better than me to deliberately be worse. But this. This wasn¡¯t something I wanted to be good at. It only filled me with despair. Within a public garden in the centre of Wirtzhaven, nothing of the trolls or their dangerously shiny offerings could be seen. The colours of the begonias and the cedar trees were lit beneath the warmth of a fading afternoon, the petals and leaves gently swaying to a pillowy breeze. But that didn¡¯t mean there was no unrest. On the contrary, mothers were busy lifting up their children before hurrying away. Drunkards hoping to desecrate a public space retreated with a flash of sobriety. And the squirrels which illegally dug up the soil finally chose to make themselves scarce. The reason¨C ¡°Mreow.¡± A cat. And not just any. This one boasted a sleek coat of fur as dark as midnight. Jade eyes which burned even against the coming dusk. And also a necklace of pearls worn around its neck. A sparkling promise of wealth as I sold it back to the trolls for every magical bauble and useful artifact they had. Sadly, far from rejoicing over the stunning discovery of a cat hiding in plain view, I could only groan. Partly because it was lounging upon the palms of a statue. A needlessly tall effigy of Lady Lumielle, Goddess of Light and chief patron of tax evasion. But mostly ¡­ it was due to the fact that despite my efforts to avoid the guild, the guild had come to me. ¡°Oi, sod off! I was here first! You know the rules!¡± ¡°Yeah, you were here first and you failed first! Now move before I deck you!¡± ¡°All of you! Stop shoving! ¡­ You¡¯re going to scare it away again!¡± ¡°Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!¡± ¡°Pspspspspspspsps~¡± Hooligans. I slowly raised my face to see the worst that my sewers had declined. Still bearing the tankards they wielded upon exiting the local guild hall, every adventurer in Wirtzhaven had flocked together like knights answering a maiden¡¯s cry for help. Except that since any distressed maiden would rather choose silence than be rescued by these drunkard layabouts, all that remained was a single lazing cat. And that meant the usual camaraderie. ¡°¨CBweuughh?!¡± I watched as a fist struck a cheek. A headbutt came in response. And then everything else as well. Elbows, shins and stomachs were used as the modest crowd of adventurers observed the most traditional method for resolving inconsolable differences. Rank, age and build didn¡¯t matter. Men and women fought with unyielding disregard for public etiquette. And while not all could remain standing for their effort, each shared the same stain which was the copper ring upon their fingers. I wrinkled my nose. ¡°Behold, Coppelia.¡± ¡°I¡¯m beholding~¡± ¡°The Adventurer¡¯s Guild. An organisation tasked with undermining the sovereignty of every kingdom to ever mistakenly invite them. Parasites who dwell beneath a thin veneer of public approval. And this is how they spend their time. Brawling.¡± ¡°Yeah, most of them even don¡¯t know how to headbutt properly.¡± ¡°Exactly. It is terrible. How can they do their secret plotting if they¡¯re always nursing a headache?¡± ¡°If I had to guess ¡­ probably while drooling on the floor. And it wouldn¡¯t even be the worst plan, either.¡± I let out a small groan. It was true. Given the ever decreasing standards of villainy, I fully expected that drunken adventurers would be infinitely more successful¨Ceven if it was completely by accident. Such as now. To my horror, the cat¡¯s whisker began to twitch as it clearly threatened to find a new home. Even so, the violence remained unabated. A truly frightening scene where comrades and friends traded bruises instead of laughter, which only a princess¡¯s voice of reason could stop and an angel¡¯s touch could heal. Thus, I did what I had to. ¡°Excuse me ¡­ excuse me ¡­ excuse me ¡­¡± Yes! I ignored it all! Weaving between the drunken disorder as though this was a guild hall, I scooted past thrown fists and butting heads, helped occasionally by Coppelia as she cheerfully redirected anyone stumbling the wrong way with a casual toss. A few moments later, I stood upon my tip-toes at the base of Lady Lumielle¡¯s statue. The black cat scarcely reacted as I reached up, my arms struggling to swipe at just the back of the Goddess of Light¡¯s cupped palms, much less the feline using her as a hammock. And then¨CI stopped altogether. Silence filled the air. The insults and grunts were no more. Puzzled, I turned around to see the gathering of hoodlums in various states of frozen barbarism. Fists were curled just before a punch. Soles were raised over blinking figures. Foreheads were locked in wrinkled competition. However, while their ire was still directed upon one another, every eye was fixed solely upon me. At least for a moment. The adventurers traded looks of silence. Eventually, the roughest of the gathering stood up, allowing a far scrawnier man to scamper away. He gazed past the scar upon his nose, cracked his neck, rolled back his shoulders ¡­ and coughed. ¡°Excuse me, ma¡¯am,¡± he said politely. ¡°Can we help you?¡± I clapped my hands together and smiled. ¡°My, you certainly may! Please help me scoop up this cat.¡± ¡°Oh? Would you happen to be this cat¡¯s owner?¡± ¡°Not at all.¡± ¡°Ah. Well, in that case, I must apologise. We¡¯re adventurers here on official guild business, you see. This cat is actually part of a commission.¡± ¡°Is that so? Please don¡¯t mind me, then. Whatever tournament you¡¯re putting on for the cat¡¯s amusement, I¡¯ll ensure that it receives the final result.¡± The cat in question yawned. Showing the appropriate amount of interest that the hoodlums deserved, it gave a flick of its tail before shutting both eyes. ¡°This isn¡¯t a tournament, ma¡¯am. We¡¯re having a lively discussion regarding which of us will be responsible for the cat¡¯s transportation. If you¡¯re concerned about its welfare, rest assured that whichever one of us is chosen, the cat¡¯s safety and comfort remains a top priority. I believe we¡¯re almost done with our discussion.¡± ¡°As do I. The feline will be collected by myself. Whatever reward you hope to earn, mine is greater.¡± The adventurer blinked. A moment later, his demeanor changed as his eyes went to the copper ring disgracing my finger. The polite smile became toothier, his shoulders relaxing. ¡°Heh. A newcomer, eh? Nice try¨Cjust about had me there. But even if you¡¯re a fresh face in Wirtzhaven, know that the rules still apply to you.¡± ¡°Ohohoho ¡­ indeed they do.¡± I placed my hand upon my chest. ¡°I shall do whatever I want. Meanwhile, you may compare the size of your bruises. Everybody is happy. Especially the cat.¡± A chuckle sounded. As did a pair of fists scrunching against each other. ¡°Afraid that isn¡¯t how this works, rookie. The reward is fair game. And so is who gets to collect the commission. If you want it, you¡¯ll need to earn it the traditional way. Same as everyone else.¡± A round of nods came in support. Suddenly, every brawling adventurer wore the patient look of a tutor who¡¯d yet to see a princess escape through a window. I didn¡¯t know what was worse. The fact that these people were being serious. Or that I¡¯d expected anything else. ¡°Excuse me,¡± I said with a bright smile ¡­ all the while pointing up and down at my delicate figure. ¡°Did I hear this correctly? You wish for me, a fragile maiden, to engage in your outrageous hooliganism?¡± ¡°It¡¯s tradition.¡± I leaned slightly forwards. ¡°... But why?¡± ¡°Hm?¡± ¡°Why is this tradition? Can you not resolve this peacefully? Perhaps through conversation over tea and cake? Or at least some kind of a system?¡± ¡°This is a system. It works.¡± ¡°In what world does this work? How do you intend to deliver this cat to the guild if you cannot find it through your blackened eyes?¡± I held up my hands to stop the painful answer. ¡°This conduct is unacceptable,¡± I declared. ¡°While I do not care about your image, I do about this kingdom¡¯s. You cannot be seen to be brawling in defiance of public etiquette. That is why bars and wedding receptions exist.¡± ¡°Miss, this cat isn¡¯t in a bar or a wedding reception.¡± ¡°Then that means you should be adhering to more amicable measures. Ones which those of your age and experience should be willing to accept. This is a disgraceful scene. Quarrelling children would stop just to judge you. Your shameful behaviour can be heard from even the tallest tower. Do you have any idea how troubling that is? Sleep is not a luxury, it is a requirement¨Cand your unruliness threatens the sanctity of every dreaming maiden.¡± The adventurers became even more still. Slowly, the fists, shins and elbows returned to their correct positions. Tankards were awkwardly hugged as gazes shifted away, unable to face the earnest scowl which came their way. Sear?h the NovelFire.net* website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Not a single response came. Nor did I expect any. After all ¡­ while these layabouts didn¡¯t understand restraint, they did the scolding of an innocent maiden. Ohohohohoho!! ¡­ Here it was! [Princess Chastisement]! The most powerful ability any hoodlum could comprehend! No matter how utterly drunk they were, to be told off by one so fair would cause even the most hopeless to slink away in shame to review their life choices ¡­ at least for a few hours! Thus, I waited for them to dip their heads and make their excuses. ¡°Miss ¡­ perhaps you should reconsider your current path?¡± I blinked. ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°I can see you¡¯re new,¡± said the scarred adventurer before me, the solemness clear in his voice. ¡°Which is fine. Being new means you¡¯ve much to learn. But I can see from your way of thinking that rules are important to you. And while that isn¡¯t wrong, you might find yourself struggling to form meaningful connections in the guild. The Oldest Ladder is a long climb. But it¡¯s longer still if it¡¯s a lonely one.¡± ¡°Wha¨C¡± My mouth opened wide. Far from recoiling to my chiding, all I saw were expressions of deep concern exchanged amongst the gathered layabouts, their worried glances like anxious parents taking note of a troubled child. ¡°Oh, make no mistake, it¡¯s good you feel so strongly about how we act. I dare say we could all do better. But in the end, there¡¯s a reason why we¡¯ve chosen the adventuring way of life. Presentation is a bit of an afterthought. But if they matter to you, then maybe you should consider joining the guard? That might suit your interests more.¡± ¡°Being a guard is very respectable,¡± said a nodding adventurer to the side. ¡°A surprisingly good career choice too,¡± added another. ¡°I know someone who made sergeant after just 2 years. He says the pay isn¡¯t half bad, either.¡± ¡°Depends where you work, really. My cousin¡¯s stationed at the Loerstadt Gate. The prince there supposedly adds to everyone¡¯s wages with his own crowns.¡± ¡°Prince Tristan. Yeah, I heard he¡¯s a good leader. I wouldn¡¯t actually mind working for someone like that.¡± Whatever complaints I had suddenly stilled. Instead, I listened attentively as my brother¡¯s name was spoken in glowing terms by the commoners. ¡°Aye, but he¡¯s more than that. He¡¯s the Prince Of A Thousand Eyes. They say his gaze alone keeps Granholtz at bay. Well, it does more than that. It keeps wyverns in check as well.¡± ¡°Now that¡¯s just too much. There are no wyverns in Tirea.¡± ¡°You¡¯d think so, huh? Except it¡¯s true. Half the guards saw it themselves.¡± ¡°What? Are you serious? An actual wyvern?¡± ¡°Yeah. Fire breathing and all. Scary stuff. My cousin says it¡¯d be flying right over our heads if not for the prince. With just a sword in his hand, he managed to not only defeat the beast, but throw its body right into the Rensdalt Fortress. There¡¯s a hole there where they¡¯re still plucking bits of scales away.¡± ¡°That¡¯s amazing.¡± ¡°Prince Tristan ¡­ what a man.¡± ¡°Makes me want to sign up just to work under him.¡± ¡°Yeah, but remember there¡¯s more than just Prince Tristan. It depends who you get. The 1st Princess would probably be great. The Crown Prince is scary but I bet the pay isn¡¯t too shabby. Problem is if you end up at the Royal Villa. I heard you¡¯ll be using your own wages as a bribe just to be assigned anywhere else.¡± ¡°Excuse me?!¡± I threw up my arms in outrage. ¡°Who said that?! I ¡­ I will have them demoted!!¡± Suddenly, the gathered peddlers of scandals and lies remembered I was here. The scarred adventurer coughed. ¡°Ahem ¡­ sorry about that, where was I? Ah, right. What I mean is that being a guard is a worthy thing. You could do right without pushing yourself to be more than what you are. I think that¡¯d suit you very well.¡± The grief clogged in my throat. Why, I was a princess! Even if they couldn¡¯t see my royal aura, to dare suggest I was suitable to be a guard just because I didn¡¯t vomit over barmaids was outrageous! The insult was beyond belief! ¡°Stop.¡± However¨C Any need I had to defend myself vanished. After all, I wasn¡¯t alone in my indignity. Coppelia stepped forward, her arm raised as a barrier to shield me from the slander. ¡°I cannot accept these insults any longer,¡± she said with a frown. ¡°It is opprobrious.¡± C-Coppelia ¡­ !! My hands clasped together, joy pouring forth as tears from the corner of my eyes. She ¡­ she was using words I didn¡¯t understand to defend me!! I was so touched!! ¡°The words you speak are smears. To dare accuse such a maiden of being anything but worthy of her current station is to insult her every accomplishment ¡­ you stand before the most popular adventurer as ranked by guild receptionists everywhere¨Cthe kingdom¡¯s newest S rank adventurer!¡± My hands clutched at my tummy as I stumbled backwards. However, even if I saw no blood, it didn¡¯t mean the knife had not sunk. ¡°W-Wait ¡­ that is not ¡­ that isn¡¯t ¡­¡± I looked up. Suddenly, only a complete silence met me. Eyes went wide as all thoughts of violence and drink fell to the wayside. And then¨C ¡°Bwahahahahahaha!!¡± ¡°Ahahaha ¡­ haha ¡­ ahaha!!¡± ¡°The kingdom¡¯s newest S-rank, she says! This girl right here!¡± ¡°Gwahaha ¡­ maybe if I minded my manners more, I could be S-rank as well!¡± I was aghast. To have my deeds guffawed at was simply awful ¡­ and yet I was also delighted! This meant they doubted someone as innocent as myself could possibly have risen amongst their sordid ranks! ¡­ I was so conflicted! ¡°Young lass,¡± said the scarred adventurer, grinning from ear to ear. ¡°If an S-rank was here, we¡¯d know without you telling us. Do you know how rare they are? They¡¯re the very symbols of our guild.¡± ¡°U-Ughhhh ¡­¡± My teeth clenched as the aching in my tummy only grew worse. ¡°Yeah. I¡¯m afraid you¡¯ve done it for yourself now, newcomer. With the biggest claim comes the biggest opponent. If you want this cat, you¡¯re going to have to prove it against either Thorvald¡¯s forehead or Big Bettie¡¯s jaw. Both of them are C-rank. Otherwise, it¡¯s the back of the queue for you.¡± The hooligans proceeded to size each other up, clearly preparing to resume their earlier discussion than to humour any thought that I might involve myself. They were correct. As a princess, I would never engage in physical altercation. And no evidence remained to suggest otherwise. However! That didn¡¯t mean I had no recourse! For everything a princess couldn¡¯t do, their retinue did instead ¡­ and that meant delegation! ¡°Coppelia!¡± I said, turning at once to my semi-loyal handmaiden. ¡°I shall retrieve what we came for! If these hoodlums seek to distract me, you may remove them as you see fit!¡± Her smile blossomed at once. But it wasn¡¯t only due to the thought of keeping my kingdom¡¯s public gardens tidy. ¡°Mreow.¡± Instead ¡­ it was also because of the dark blot of fur. Hopping down from the statue behind me, the black cat landed upon my shoulder, then sat for all the world to admire. Jaws dropped at once. Mine most of all. ¡°A-Amazing ¡­ she didn¡¯t even do anything ¡­¡± ¡°The cat ¡­ it chose her ¡­¡± ¡°Wait, could it be ¡­ ? Perhaps she¡¯s actually S-rank ¡­ ?¡± ¡°I heard of an adventurer in Trierport and also in Hartzweise. She broke every record in commissions. A heroine unlike any other. She has a unique power to speak with cats. Maybe ¡­ Maybe this is her?¡± I desperately shooed away the cat from my shoulder. It didn¡¯t budge. ¡°O-Ohohoho ¡­ ?! Trierport? Hartzweise? Y-You must be mistaken, I ¡­ I have never been to those places filled with witnesses yet to be bribed ¡­ I certainly have no power to converse with cats!¡± ¡°The girl speaks true,¡± said the black cat, stretching as it leisurely let out a yawn. ¡°... She has no unique power to indulge our wishes for idle conversation. We must regrettably remain incoherent.¡± The adventurers stared. Tankards and knees both dropped to the ground as the black cat licked its paws. A moment later, the applause began. Coppelia stepped in front of me, her arms raised as she faced down the awestruck crowd. ¡°The line starts here,¡± she declared. ¡°Handshakes are 10 silver crowns each. Exact amounts only. No change.¡± Chapter 391: The Seeing Stone I stood before a semi-circle of trolls, arms crossed while idly tapping my foot. The trolls simply blinked at me. An imposing wall of towering silhouettes, black iron and glossy clubs. Normally, this was a sight numbed by the smiles of opportunism behind the thick helmets. But this time, they offered something better¨Cthe same shade of blank stare as each and every troll realised at last the futility of testing an adversary they couldn¡¯t defeat. A princess. A clockwork doll. And also a cat. ¡°Mreow.¡± The feline in question idly groomed itself while being lifted up by Coppelia. A pearl necklace rested against its black coat of fur. And although its lustre was less than that of every other trinket gleaming from a carriage window, its worth was greater than everything present. After all, it was currently in my hands ¡­ via Coppelia. ¡°So?¡± I said simply. ¡°Do you have an offer? ¡­ Because as dependable as my loyal handmaiden is, even her arms must tire. It¡¯d be awful if such an agile and nimble creature were to suddenly escape with a coincidental cough into the depths of Wirtzhaven¡¯s docks and alleyways.¡± The trolls didn¡¯t convene. Instead, they simply scratched their backs before their designated representative gave a rehearsed cough. The obvious lack of panic suggested they were already expecting me to accept new offers for their missing necklace. A deeply insulting inference regarding my trustworthiness. I was a princess. And that meant I could always be expected to improve upon any arrangement I made. ¡°My apologies, madame,¡± said the designated troll. ¡°But the arrangement was without ambiguity. The Seeing Stone offered upon the return of our missing merchandise. While I do see you¡¯ve also apprehended the perpetrator responsible for the theft, I¡¯m unable to offer an improved reward.¡± ¡°Oh? And yet I was also informed that no danger would present itself during this ordeal.¡± ¡°The cat is no danger. It is a common household pet.¡± A yawn promptly sounded from the direction of the cat. ¡°A droll observation,¡± said the cat, speaking with the candour of an aristocratic lady already bored with watching her 2nd son embarrass himself before me. ¡°I am the darkness your nightmares flee from, troll. Be glad I choose to humour myself in the clockwork doll¡¯s hands.¡± The troll blinked. A moment of silence followed. Yet instead of breaking out into rapturous and highly mistaken applause like a gathering of adventurers had, he immediately brought out a collapsible telescope, leaning forwards even as he peered through it. ¡°A familiar,¡± he said, betraying only the slightest frown. ¡°... This was unexpected.¡± I let out a maidenly gasp. ¡°A familiar! Why, you sent me out against a deadly magical creature! That is unacceptable. Not only did you put me in grievous harm¡¯s way, but you did so after assuring me I could let my guard down! I could have been murdered!¡± The cat, a barely restrained predator of the wilds, lazily pawed at a passing butterfly. It missed. ¡°My express apologies for the misunderstanding,¡± said the troll, his miniature telescope disappearing with the same ease as every coin they garnered. ¡°However, a familiar in the shape of a cat is still broadly a cat. The danger posed is minimal.¡± ¡°Hm?¡± I placed a hand to my ear. ¡°What¡¯s that? Is it no danger or minimal danger now?¡± ¡°The assessment has not changed. A familiar, although a summoned being, possesses little which could harm you. Its claws are no sharper than that of a regular cat.¡± ¡°This is neither a regular cat or familiar. That it¡¯s able to is proof that it¡¯s more than a wisp. This creature, no, this avatar of darkness may very well hold exceptional powers.¡± ¡°There is no could about it,¡± said the cat with a flick of its tail. ¡°I am the silence which stalks the night and cows the sun. You peer upon me by my grace, lest I offer shadow and doom instead.¡± ¡°You see? The cat is offering shadow and doom. Words that only the most diabolical have the right to utter. That is horrific. See how my loyal handmaiden trembles just to barely hold it.¡± I immediately stared at Coppelia, subtly nodding multiple times. She looked down at the creature making no effort to move. And then¨C ¡°Ahhh~¡± she said, in the same manner as a child feeding a fruit slime. My hands covered my mouth. ¡°Why, my loyal handmaiden is so beset with unease that she forgets how to even elicit a horrified scream! ¡­ This demands further compensation!¡± ¡°Madame, this is¨C¡± ¡°Exactly. This is time to make up for arrears. Had I known it was such a threat, I would have charged more. I demand you table a new offer in light of the withholding of pertinent information and the damages incurred to Coppelia¡¯s mental wellbeing.¡± The troll before me gave the closest thing to a sigh. His shoulders drooped slightly, doubtless torn between arguing and accepting. ¡°Madame, although the ability to openly converse is rare for a familiar, it is not unheard of. Moreover, as it has taken enthusiastically to its role as a cat, I believe it is open to hyperbole. There is a low chance of likelihood it possesses the means to drown the world in shadow and doom.¡± I leaned forwards slightly. ¡°¡­ Are you willing to offer a guarantee to that?¡± The troll made no response. It was the clearest answer yet. ¡°My thoughts exactly. The cat has already proven itself adaptable. It can evade the many spells which cover your carriages. Who knows what else it can do?¡± ¡°With all due respect, it is my understanding that the magical nature of the cat is a minor issue.¡± ¡°Well, then I suppose that trolls are more diligent with numbers than words. A curious thing when so much effort is made on bolstering your reputation. After all, if you cannot distinguish a magical cat from a regular one, then how are we to know if the tiaras you sell are close to being as storied as you claim?¡± A pause met my words. Then, the trolls quickly came together in a huddle. They scratched their backs, nodded and murmured, the words so faint that I could scarcely make out the stoic acceptance. ¡°... We have come to an agreement,¡± said the troll a moment later. ¡°As a professional courtesy to the madame for any inconvenience suffered, we believe it is appropriate that an additional gold reward be offered alongside the aforementioned Seeing Stone.¡± I clapped my hands together in delight. ¡°Excellent! How much?¡± ¡°5 gold crowns.¡± I nodded, waiting for the extra digits. They never came. ¡°Absolutely not!¡± I said, utterly appalled at the offer they¡¯d shortly be improving. ¡°What am I supposed to do with that? ¡­ Why, that¡¯s not even enough to bribe a magpie!¡± ¡°Very well. And how much does the madame believe is suitable as an additional reward?¡± ¡°500,000,0002 ¡­ but I¡¯m willing to meet you halfway at 400,000,0002.¡± The troll raised his head and looked up at the sky. I had no idea why. His gold wasn¡¯t kept there. ¡°If it pleases the madame, we can offer an additional artifact to the one already promised.¡± I gave it a moment¡¯s thought. It wasn¡¯t quite what I expected to test the bottomless pouch ¡­ but it would do! ¡°Acceptable. I shall take the gleaming tiara I¡¯m not looking at, then.¡± ¡°The Tiara of the Last Dawn is not currently available, but I can offer something else instead.¡± ¡°I see? ¡­ And which would that be? The hourglass? The veil, perhaps?¡± ¡°A spoon which is always level no matter how lightly you scoop the contents of a bowl. It makes consuming food slightly more efficient.¡± I instantly felt Coppelia tugging on my sleeve. Somewhat alarmingly, she was nodding so fast that both her smile and the stars glowing in her turquoise eyes were simply a blend of colours. "¡­ Fine. Give me the spoon.¡± ¡°An excellent choice, madame.¡± Not a single moment was permitted to mourn my choice. Two trolls came forwards, each with a cushion bearing two highly unique artifacts ¡­ neither of which I knew would actually be useful. They stood and waited as the troll offered his gauntleted palms. Coppelia duly obliged, neatly depositing the embodiment of doom and shadow complete with a pearl necklace. And that was that. ¡°Thank you, gentlemen,¡± I said, smiling as I accepted my rewards. ¡°This was a most enlightening experience.¡± ¡°As it was for us. May your new acquisitions serve you well. Please note, however, that we do not accept returns for any reason.¡± I pretended not to hear it. Instead, I offered a farewell with a sweep of my hair ¡­ then made my way towards the nearest alley where the peddling of trolls couldn¡¯t disturb me. I was almost successful. As we passed one Wirtzhaven¡¯s infinite bars, a muffled cry of despair sounded behind us, drowning out even the whistling of a satisfied clockwork doll. A few moments later, a bundle of black hopped gracefully atop a barrel, its jade eyes more than a match for its pearl necklace, and its smooth fur far too sleek for any troll to handle. I offered a smile. ¡°Thank you for your assistance. Your words were truly ominous.¡± ¡°As they should be,¡± said the cat. ¡°I spoke nothing but the truth. The light of day exists only because I permit it to fall upon me.¡± Coppelia giggled as she studied her spoon. ¡°Mmh~ I bet this is what every cat sounds like if they could talk.¡± ¡°You are mistaken, clockwork doll. Most are contemptuous towards the thought of dignity. They are enamoured with the smallest glitter. The spoon you hold would seem like a scepter, to say nothing of the strange bauble you received. A dark thing, indeed, but nothing compared to my own fur.¡± I nodded as I raised the Seeing Stone. ¡°Then let¡¯s allow it to brighten,¡± I said, expertly giving the thing a shake while hoping it didn¡¯t explode. ¡°You. Orb. Thing. Please show me what sordid thing Miss Lainsfont is now doing so I can know whether or not to turn around.¡± I waited. Nothing happened. The orb remained dark and silent. There wasn¡¯t even my own reflection, let alone a woman in scandalous attire. I wrinkled my nose. Trolls. However, just as I consigned myself to querying a receptionist instead and using this pebble as punting practice, the first signs of colour began to show itself. sea??h th§× N?velFire(.)net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Like paint washing away from a palette, a faint image of a pearly blue sky appeared. Beneath it was a golden telescope pointing towards the stars. And also white walls casting a shadow over fields filled with bent backs as weeping squires diligently watered the grass to ensure it remained sparkling at all times. My mouth widened at the familiar sight. ¡°Huh,¡± said Coppelia, leaning in to study the hazy image. ¡°That can¡¯t be right. Not enough fire. Do you want to go back and see if you can return the orb for anything¨C¡± I hopped on the spot. ¡°H-How wondrous!!!!¡± Chapter 392: No Exemptions The troll¡¯s bauble had told no lie. My destination was clear to me. I needed to return to my bedroom! But first a minor detour ¡­ and that involved visiting the least auspicious garden in my kingdom. A patch of herbs hidden behind a tiny cottage. There was no hint of violet begonias or carefully hidden shortcakes here. Only things so discoloured or wilted they were already halfway into a cauldron. But while the pungent roots and leaves did their best to slight my nose, there was no hiding the distinctive acridness lingering in the air. It was alarmingly similar to what wafted occasionally from Clarise¡¯s observatory. And that was good. For once. As splendid as even the faintest image of the Royal Villa was, none of those toiling in preparation of my return consisted of a certain woman whose lack of smiling would see her barred by my guards. Yet for all the things a magical pebble lacked, a cat conjured by a different mage powerful enough to induce despair in trolls was a different matter. Especially if it said so. ¡°The woman you seek was here not two days ago,¡± stated the cat, idly flicking its tail as Coppelia pillaged the worst of the herbs directly into her pouch. ¡°An unfortunate thing. She set the kitchen aflame. I am quite disappointed. The replacement dining table simply isn¡¯t the same.¡± I nodded as I regarded the modest plot of land around me, squeezed unnaturally between the terraced townhouses and the endless bars. The cat had proven itself true. Miss Lainsfont had been here. She¡¯d left her signature, after all. A job half finished. ¡°You¡¯ve my sympathy. For Miss Lainsfont to claim the mantle of ultimate cackling power while doing less than a newly hatched dragon is a waste. Had she any decency, she would have burned down the entire cottage so that it could be rebuilt as something bigger.¡± ¡°I agree. Sadly, her flames were merely a greeting in the strange manner which all mages abide by.¡± ¡°But not your conjurer, I take it?¡± ¡°Indeed. My conjurer, as you would title her, demonstrates appropriate restraint when it comes to flames. Her only magic was to render assistance regarding a mutual concern.¡± ¡°My, how mildly suspicious ¡­ and who would be powerful enough to earn Miss Lainsfont¡¯s wayward flames while still offering aid?¡± ¡°Someone whose interests rarely fall outside her research or the herb garden now being openly robbed.¡± Coppelia innocently glanced up. I nodded at her to continue. The fewer suspect herbs to exist, the fewer witches waiting to emerge from a cauldron. I only needed the one. ¡°Very well, then. And where might my missing mage be?¡± ¡°The woman departed through a fixed portal. To where, only the lady of the cottage may say. She has been informed of your presence and is returning with due haste.¡± The cat paused. ¡°... She also wishes to implore for the clockwork doll to remove herself from the withermoss patch.¡± Boomph. It was a warning Coppelia heeded just in time. All of a sudden, the very air warped before us as the fabric of reality flaked away just a little bit more in my kingdom. A glimmering portal came into its existence, its surface rippling like a pond in a gale as it revealed a world of dense greenery and gnarled oaks somewhere over the horizon. Naturally, I patiently waited. Despite the modesty of the cottage, this was no ordinary conjurer. That Miss Lainsfont would trouble her was evidence of this ¡­ as well as the fact that she could summon magical cats. A valuable asset. If they could elude the grasps of trolls, then they could also escape the ambitions of adventurers. Preferably while taunting them. I sensed a business opportunity. S~ea??h the n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Which was why ¡­ as a woman whose witchly attire was only partially ignored due to her crystalline wings glittering like embers beneath the fading afternoon, I was ready to offer the appropriate respect. ¡°Good afternoon,¡± said the fae, the noble features of her face lighting up with a polite smile. ¡°Please do not be alarmed. I am Countess ¡­ w-wait, what are you¨C¡± ¡°Back! Back into the portal!¡± ¡°W-Wait! Why are you ¡­ please do not push me ¡­ wait, stop! I haven¡¯t introduced myself!¡± ¡°An introduction is unnecessary! Go back into the portal!¡± ¡°No, wait, I don¡¯t want to go back into the portal! I ¡­ I just came from there!¡± ¡°Then it means you already know the way! Now leave! Shoo!¡± ¡°Wait! Waaait!¡± I didn¡¯t wait. Instead, I wore the most beautiful grimace a princess could display, hands pressed against the fae as I moved to deport the latest intruder into my kingdom. Her response was to flap her wings, her fingers gripping the edges of the magical portal as she struggled against the weight of authority. And also Coppelia as she helped to tickle the defenceless fae. ¡°S-Stop! ¡­ This is ¡­ ahahaha ¡­ please, this is ¡­ this is unseemly ¡­ ahaha ¡­ please allow me to explain!¡± ¡°There is nothing to explain! How many times must you violate your own laws to be here?!¡± ¡°I ¡­ I have permission from the Summer Queen!¡± ¡°And what about the queen of this kingdom?!¡± The fae paused in her struggling. ¡°Well, I¨C¡± ¡°Shoo! Shoo!¡± ¡°Waaaait!¡± The fae dug her heels in the ground. Not the ground here. But the ground on the other side of the portal. Wild grass, daisies and even the soil formed a dam as she anchored herself. Eventually, as the resistance increased and Coppelia¡¯s tickles gradually lost effectiveness, I ceased to push and started pointing instead. ¡°I¡¯ve made myself clear on multiple occasions! If you wish to enter my kingdom, you must go through an arduous 182 page application process which I¡¯ll reject without even reading! How dare you brazenly trespass! ¡­ Are you here to spy on me?!¡± ¡°I don¡¯t even know who you are!¡± I leaned back and gasped. ¡°H-How dare you not know who I am! Do the fae queens not incessantly gossip about me because they have nothing better to do?!¡± ¡°I wouldn¡¯t know! I¡¯ve been away from the Summer Court for 287 years! I¡¯ve been doing research!¡± ¡°Research?! Is that what you call sowing the seeds of invasion?!¡± ¡°It¡¯s not that! I promise! ¡­ I¡¯m only here to study the culture of this kingdom!¡± A pause. ¡°... Why?¡± I asked with a cautious frown. ¡°Well, it¡¯s because I was curious.¡± ¡°Is that so ¡­ as opposed to the cultures of other nations?¡± ¡°Indeed!¡± The fae nodded earnestly. ¡°The Kingdom of Tirea is unique. Although I¡¯ve long held a fascination with the mortal realm, I find that out of every kingdom, empire, principality and dukedom to exist, it¡¯s the one here which is most worthy of my attention. The great and the famed can be found in abundance in all four corners of the world. But only in this land can the mighty truly be found.¡± I blinked. For a moment, no sound was heard other than the wings of the fae as she still tried exiting the portal. And then¨C ¡°O-Ohohohoho! M-My! Why didn¡¯t you say so? You should have told me from the start!¡± ¡°Ah, well, I was somewhat aware that my presence here isn¡¯t locally approved ¡­¡± ¡°A minor issue! Why, there just happens to be an expedited permit for those interested in admiring this kingdom for study purposes! You should take it! It¡¯s a simple application process which involves repeating the words you just said to the staff at the Granholtz Embassy while pretending you accidentally ended up in the wrong building!¡± ¡°Really? I ¡­ I had no idea. I must keep that in mind.¡± ¡°There¡¯s no rush! Indeed, as long as you do it within the next 5 minutes, all is well! ¡­ In fact, since you¡¯re more or less pre-approved, why don¡¯t you take this opportunity to ask any questions you wish answered? I¡¯d be quite content to be interviewed!¡± ¡°Oh, well, that¡¯s actually quite convenient! ¡­ In that case, could you explain how you survive?¡± ¡°Excuse me? What do you mean ¡­ ¡®survive¡¯?¡± The fae¡¯s eyes glittered. ¡°I¡¯m studying how the culture in this kingdom has developed in such a way as to endure overwhelming adversity. The Fae Realm is a land of eternal plenty. We do not lack for wealth, poetry or beauty. But here, it is an objectively unremarkable kingdom, small and without joy. I am deeply curious regarding how it has not simply crumbled from widespread internal animosity.¡± I simply nodded. A moment later¨C ¡°... Back! Back into the portal!¡± ¡°Waaait! I¡¯m ¡­ I¡¯m here to help!¡± ¡°You can help by paying taxes! Just because you¡¯ve been squatting here for 287 years doesn¡¯t mean you are exempt!¡± ¡°But I do pay taxes! ¡­ Occasionally!¡± ¡°Occasionally?!¡± ¡°W-Wait, stop pushing! The inspectors keep leaving due to the smell! But I have money! And ledgers!¡± Poof. All of a sudden, a slightly damp box appeared beside me. Within was a tidy heap of copper and silver, interrupted by the odd twinkle of gold and a considerable amount of records. There were scrolls, receipts and tokens ¡­ and although the ink had clearly faded from much of the parchment, what remained the same was the stamp of my kingdom¡¯s tax authority. I carefully flicked over the topmost layer, then sent a frown towards the slightly sweating fae. ¡°Very well.¡± I clicked my fingers. ¡°Explain in five words or fewer where Miss Lainsfont is, how you¡¯re involved and whether or not your help will involve something exploding.¡± The fae did her best to straighten her posture, all the while still awkwardly stuck within her portal. She gave it a moment¡¯s thought. ¡°... Witches,¡± she simply said. I let out a small groan. Usually, a single word was rarely sufficient. And yet this time, it told me everything I either needed or wanted to know. ¡°Ugh, fine.¡± I rubbed my temples in anticipation. ¡°Please explain.¡± The fae gave a curt nod. ¡°I am Countess Yrainde of the Cindered Bloom. Miss Lainsfont sought me out regarding a number of pressing queries she had related to her heritage. In response, I directed her to those best placed to answer. She has gone to make contact with the Hexenkreis Clan.¡± ¡°... Who?¡± ¡°The last remaining witches of the kingdom. Miss Lainsfont is now visiting their village.¡± Of course she had. Because why stay and enjoy the coastline? The sea was clearly not flammable enough. The village of the witches, on the other hand, was doubtless a different matter. A place as lost to all maps as it was to memory. Why our newly titled Witch of Calamity would seek it out was hardly a mystery. She rightfully had questions. Except that if her answers led her anywhere other than Soap Island, then they were wrong. ¡°Very well ¡­ and where might this highly suspicious village be found, then?¡± ¡°In the Ivywood, through which this portal leads.¡± The fae gestured by waving her arm through. ¡°My familiar informs me that you seek Miss Lainsfont. Your copper ring has already been noted. Why the Adventurer¡¯s Guild would wish to find her is something I can easily guess ¡­ but that is not a matter which concerns me. I am only here to help you do so.¡± She tip-toed away from the portal, relishing in the softness of her herb patch. I choose not to take her place. ¡°I¡¯m here to invite an overly stressed mage into a world of bubbly rehabilitation. For what reason are you offering assistance? ¡­ Is this part of your libelous research?¡± ¡°Another day, perhaps,¡± she admitted. ¡°But not now. I¡¯ve been given a separate task related to the Hexenkreis Clan. I¡¯m to deliver a message.¡± ¡°A message? What message?¡± ¡°That is one only I can say. However, I can confirm it is not villainous.¡± I rolled my eyes. The fact that the fae had to confirm these things spoke for itself. ¡°How mundanely troubling. Yet if you¡¯re aware of where the witches are, then what is the issue? Unlike parts of your cottage, I can see the forest hasn¡¯t been set on fire yet.¡± ¡°What you see is only a trick of the eye. A powerful barrier exists which obscures sight and prevents entry into the village. A barrier Miss Lainsfont managed to pass. I¡¯m uncertain how ¡­ but I believe it was through a means which was unintended. The barrier was not breached as she intended.¡± ¡°Excellent. In that case, I shall break it. Rest assured, there¡¯s nothing my delicate touch cannot solve.¡± The slightest hint of doubt flashed across the fae¡¯s expression. I hardly saw why. She¡¯d felt the strength of it prodding and pushing her away. ¡°I¡¯m not certain what your delicate touch involves. However, I must note that this barrier is an anomaly¨Cboth in strength and application. The Hexenkreis Clan have traditionally delighted in having guests accidentally stumble across them. I previously theorised that something nefarious was at play. Over the past few hours, I¡¯ve come to believe that this is now rather likely.¡± The wings of the fae ceased to flap. ¡°There is the smallest hint of magic escaping,¡± she stated. ¡°It is powerful enough that no barrier can prevent its detection. It is not of the arcane. But the infernal. There is something at least moderately concerning now occurring in the village. Due caution is warranted. Should you proceed, I will not be able to assist further.¡± I nodded. And then¨C ¡°Ohohohohohoho!¡± I raised a hand to my lips, barely covering my smile. It was a response which drew a look of shock from the fae. But that was to be expected. She¡¯d managed to go 287 years with only sporadic visits from my tax inspectors. A damning, if somewhat notable feat. But I was a princess. And no odour was enough to keep me away from my duties. Otherwise, I would have regularly surrendered upon waking up. Which I never did. And so long as Coppelia was there to drag me out of bed, that would forever remain the case. Indeed, caution truly was warranted. For everybody in arrears. A hidden village in a forest was many things¨Cincluding a haven for freeloaders, no matter what they called themselves, what shape they took or what brand of forbidden magic they wielded. A problem. But not for me. After all¨C If the fae could pay taxes, then so could everyone else. Chapter 393: A Golden Lesson A newly lacquered counter. Thomas Lainsfont carefully tapped the surface, first with his palm, then with his cup of mead. No stains. No stickiness. No scratches. Like a bed of untarnished snow in the tundras where only the northern clans dared to tread. And also a band of misfits who needed to heal a pet mammoth. He remembered the feeling well. Both of the snow and the mammoth¡¯s gratitude when it almost crushed them. Both were smooth to the touch, but neither quite compared to a wooden counter without a single flaw. It was so polished he could have bowled a glass of wine across it without spilling. But perhaps he shouldn¡¯t expect anything else. This bar was admittedly nicer than his. The Royal Mermaid. Thomas didn¡¯t see any mermaids, royal or otherwise. But if there was anywhere in this kingdom they were likely to visit, it¡¯d probably be here. There was enough alcohol to refill the Emerald Sea. And all of it the type of stuff he only kept for display purposes. Particularly since his best bottles were long emptied. That wasn¡¯t the case here. Blackberry wine from Witschblume. Golden stout from the Kingdom Under The Mountain. Chartreuse from the White Citadel¡¯s reserves. Even white rum from the Principalities, their casks scratched with the names of every ship to have plundered them. Each sip was worth a king¡¯s ransom. And given the clientele, there was enough coin to pay. No farmhands traded the soil upon their knuckles here. Instead, all of Wirtzhaven¡¯s finest was present. Aristocracy with their boots up. Captains clutching at their spoils. Squires masquerading as knights. Each took turns seeking to impress the smiling barmaids with their bluster. And perhaps on another day, they would have pretended to be impressed. Because of all the finely dressed troublemakers here, the greatest was by far the one who Thomas officially didn¡¯t know ¡­ despite the fact they¡¯d walked in together. ¡°A hydra with four heads,¡± declared Cedric Halls in his own corner, a tankard of the least expensive drink in one hand and his lute held like a bloody sword in the other. ¡°A terrible monster even with three. But give it another set of teeth and suddenly it¡¯s an entire flock. But the more ears they have, the easier it is to listen. All it takes is the right song and they¡¯re sleeping like lambs.¡± A smattering of applause met Cedric¡¯s latest drunken recount ¡­ all the while he was served progressively stronger, but not more expensive drinks. That he had the ability to accept more potent alcohol while declining the ones he knew as expensive was a feat which would make the Golden Hogs proud. The man was in his element. Rehashing tales in a bar he couldn¡¯t afford while surrounded by those too polite to question him. Which was just as well. They¡¯d never believe the truth that the hydra had five heads, not four. Thomas idly sipped his mead as he listened. However, he wasn¡¯t here to enjoy the fare of his rivals, fine as they were. He was a barkeeper. And he knew more than anyone else that the three truths regarding his profession were all true. A smile meant a frown. A frown meant a smile. And when it came to hearing news whispered beside a hearth, not even the ears of elves were keener. In fact, he could count all those who were better suited for gathering information with a single hand. It was easy. All his fingers and thumb would point towards the nearest troll. ¡°Haaaaaaaaaaah ¡­¡± A great sigh steeped in melancholy sounded beside him. The most common sound in every bar in the world. Except that it didn¡¯t usually come from the world¡¯s foremost merchants. The troll cut an impressive figure. He was a battering ram in black iron. Not that the armour was needed. His hide alone would break the lance of a charging knight as easily as a boulder stopped the rain. Even leaning despondently against the counter, the top of his helmet threatened to brush against the ceiling. An unusual sight. Trolls didn¡¯t often peruse bars. Or at least not The Singing Mule. Thomas often saw their carriages trundling through the village on their way to the doorstep of the Royal Villa. But while he had few dealings with trolls even when he was lugging chests caked in soil and jewel spiders from holes in the ground, he knew enough to expect an entrepreneur¡¯s candour at all times. Not today. The towering figure sighed as he stared down at a tiny glass of wine pinched between his gauntlets. Only a hint of a glum expression could be seen within that thick helmet. Thomas subtly raised his palm towards the barkeeper and indicated towards the troll. A nod came in answer, followed by a second glass of wine being silently offered. The troll turned inquisitively towards his patron. ¡°It¡¯s on me,¡± said Thomas, not wishing to ask what he¡¯d just purchased. The troll blinked, clearly more used to working harder for his drinks. ¡°Thank you,¡± he said, downing his existing drink in a single sip so he could begin staring forlornly down at his new one. ¡°The monsieur¡¯s generous gesture is unnecessary, but appreciated.¡± Thomas nodded. The practical side of him saw an opportunity to glean information which few else could offer. While a barkeeper could know every scandal which occurred in the corners and sewers of their town, a troll whose wares included artifacts more fabled than a princess¡¯s sword would know of news before it even occurred. However ¡­ that wasn¡¯t truly what the drink was for. This wasn¡¯t Thomas¡¯s bar. But he was still a barkeeper. And that meant offering an ear to the woes of others, no matter how large they were. ¡°The world would be a kinder place if we all had an extra drink,¡± he said, raising his mead in solidarity. ¡°Although maybe a few more for trolls. You seem like you know your wine.¡± The troll gave half a half-hearted smile. ¡°Perhaps I would be better as a sommelier than a merchant. A pity I did not choose wiser.¡± ¡°Oh? And why would that be?¡± A pause. sea??h th§× N?velFire(.)net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Caution and hesitation doused the troll as he ceased to stare into his glass. But not for long. This was a bar. And Thomas was a stranger who¡¯d just bought him a drink. Troll or not, he was more or less obliged to speak his deepest thoughts. ¡°I have come to realise my shortcomings as a merchant,¡± said the troll, the heavy shoulders drooping. ¡°It is not often that I have cause to doubt my own competence. But I have been forced to doubt it on two occasions now.¡± Thomas nodded, slipping naturally into his barkeeper¡¯s shoes. His hand even reached over for a wet rag. ¡°Then you should be selling your wisdom. To doubt yourself only twice is a thing I¡¯d like to learn. Most do that every minute.¡± ¡°Most are not me,¡± said the troll earnestly. ¡°I do not abide by mistakes. Each is a plunge towards the red when every step should leave footprints as black as ink.¡± ¡°I wasn¡¯t aware that mistakes were so discouraged in Troll Country.¡± ¡°They are not. On the contrary, my peers are highly understanding. Yet such kindness only deepens the weight upon my shoulders. Trolls are rarely undone by their customers. And even fewer are undone by the same customer twice.¡± ¡°You¡¯ve met your equal, then. Consider it a blessing. Few things will allow you to broaden the length of your strides than a worthy adversary.¡± ¡°Perhaps normally, I would agree. But such was the level of my defeat that I can no longer see the path ahead of me. All I see is a shadow cast by my failure.¡± The troll paused. He stared down at his free wine, lips quivering as he considered how best to word his confession. ¡°... It was a cat,¡± he said at last. ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°A cat wearing a pearl necklace, which it stole from one of our carriages. I requested an adventurer to retrieve the item in exchange for a reward. The madame in question returned with the feline still wearing the jewellery. Outwardly, it was an act of professional thoroughness. To provide me the opportunity to handle the necklace¡¯s removal would help ensure no damage was incurred. In truth, it was only to seal my defeat.¡± The troll¡¯s shoulders fully slumped. ¡°The necklace was the least of our wares, not suitable for sale. But I did not disclose the true extent of this fact. It is a mummer¡¯s trinket. Once worn and removed, it will instantly shatter. If returned to us in such a state, it would have invalidated the reward while still removing it from the thief¡¯s possession. The adventurer had seen through this. I had no choice but to accept the cat or risk being publicly outed. Furthermore, to bargain for her silence, I had to provide an additional artifact, for she knew as well that the existing reward was worth far less than what I had suggested. In the end, I parted with two artifacts and received nothing but my humbling in response.¡± ¡°Then you received a fair trade. Two artifacts for a lesson you shall never need to learn again is fair.¡± ¡°I am afraid that all I learned was the folly of my own hubris. This is a lesson I learned once already. That I needed it taught again is only an indication I am unfit to continue this role.¡± ¡°Two lessons is still less than three.¡± ¡°And yet I fear there is still more to come. The adventurer has a high standing in this kingdom. There is a strong likelihood we shall meet again. Her competence, negotiation ability and highly unorthodox interpretation of basic mathematics is beyond what I am accustomed to. I am not confident. And a merchant who lacks confidence cannot be considered an asset, but a liability.¡± Thomas hummed. It was a unique problem to have. A very troll problem to have. But in the end, it also wasn¡¯t anything worse than when Harlan got into a fight with Elsa down by the river because neither wanted to admit they liked each other. That one still held the record for sighs drawn. ¡°In that case, you should seek a third lesson,¡± he said, sipping at his mead. ¡°And a fourth. And a fifth.¡± The troll wore a look of shock. ¡°Does the monsieur suggest I should wilfully allow myself to be parted with more of our wares?¡± ¡°No. I¡¯m saying you should seek this adventurer out and ask for lessons in tradecraft without the use of your wares to pay for it. Maybe a much lower fee can be negotiated this way. To me, this seems to be a fine opportunity. Or would your peers look poorly on you for seeking to improve yourself?¡± A blink came in response. ¡°I ¡­ do not believe they would, no. We take a long-term view on our investments. Including ourselves.¡± ¡°Well, then it seems like something worth thinking over. At least in my shoes.¡± The troll did indeed think. He thought for several moments, his hands twiddling with his glass. ¡°The monsieur¡¯s advice is not what any troll would suggest,¡± he said, his tone not impolite. ¡°Yet it is worthy of consideration. I am aware of where this adventurer resides. Perhaps ¡­ it would be worth inquiring what the cost of tuition is in matters of commerce.¡± Thomas nodded. He didn¡¯t need to say anything else from here. Once the road of epiphany had opened up, any further words would only distract from it. Besides, when his modest advice ceased to be, the order for the most expensive ale would usually follow, such was the strength of gratitude. Or lacking that, whatever a troll could offer instead. ¡°My apologies, monsieur. I have not introduced myself. I am Tazroth Rocksmiter.¡± ¡°Thomas Lainsfont.¡± The troll nodded. As was expected, the pause which often followed his introduction was entirely absent, as was the squint as his face and demeanour didn¡¯t match what had never been accurately described in The Reitzlake Times. ¡°It is a pleasure to meet your acquaintance, Monsieur Lainsfont. And what, may I ask, brings the gentleman to Wirtzhaven?¡± ¡°To seek my daughter.¡± Thomas looked up, the calmness clear in his voice despite the stranglehold which faint hope now had upon him. ¡°Marina is her name. Marina Lainsfont. A young woman with brown eyes and mostly brown hair. The ends have become brightly illuminated with differing colours. The same as what can be seen sported by the women around this port. She is a ¡­¡± Witch. The Witch of Calamity. ¡°... a mage. A powerful mage. I believe she was here. And recently at that. But none can say where she is now.¡± The troll took a long moment to consider. Whether he actually knew or was merely feigning politeness, Thomas couldn¡¯t say. ¡°I am afraid that a woman of this description does not match any that I know. That is not to say she is not present, of course. But regrettably, our caravan only arrived in Wirtzhaven this afternoon.¡± ¡°Of course ¡­ then, would your carriages hold anything which might be able to find her?¡± ¡°My apologies, but such an item does not exist in our current inventory.¡± Thomas¡¯s lips parted at once, yet the words of doubt never materialised. The troll was grateful. But gratitude couldn¡¯t force him to offer a magical item which he clearly had no means to pay. Or so he thought. ¡°There is, however, something else I may provide,¡± said the troll, as something more unusual than glumness appeared on his face. Sympathy. ¡°It is the Seeing Stone. An artifact said to be able to lead you towards your destination, wherever this might be.¡± Thomas¡¯s response was immediately silenced by a palm. ¡°... But I should more accurately say that this is the 1,627th Seeing Stone, purchased in bulk from an apprentice artificer in the Summer Kingdoms. It possesses minor properties of farseeing, but is highly inaccurate and prone to outlandish interpretations. It is in truth nothing more than a weak curio, little better than a pearl necklace deliberately made to shatter. But perhaps it is better than nothing.¡± The troll spun his hand in the air. There was no magic that Thomas could see. But where there was a palmful of air before, a small orb appeared instead, pulled from whatever storage the troll merchants maintained in the rare instances that their carriages were not near. ¡°Of course, it would be quite inappropriate for me to part with this without excellent reason,¡± said the troll, lowering the orb onto the counter. ¡°However, should a passing gentleman accidentally glean a vision within the Seeing Stone while I am busy inspecting it for dust, then I would fail to notice.¡± Thomas nodded in appreciation. He leaned in, the frown that he usually wore becoming even more pronounced as he imagined Marina. Both as she is and as she was. A pale haze of darkness was all he saw. And yet after a few moments, it began to part. Just not to any answer. Anticipation turned into disappointment. It simply reflected back Thomas¡¯s face. As well as the rest of the bar behind him. Even so ¡­ it wasn¡¯t towards the troll that he offered the look of confusion to follow. It was Cedric, whose boasts had fallen silent alongside the occasional strumming of his lute. Thomas turned to look at him. He saw the mouth agape. The eyes wide with surprise. And then he followed the guildmaster¡¯s stunned gaze towards where the Seeing Stone had just shown. A familiar pair now stood in the doorway of the bar. ¡°Well, well,¡± said Bodkins Tangleleaf with a gleeful smile. ¡°I do believe that¡¯s my 5 gold crowns.¡± Liriane, still as willing to wrinkle her fair elven features as Thomas remembered, clicked her tongue and dropped a single copper crown into the halfling¡¯s waiting palm. And also some litter. Whatever their bet, it was the cheapest price any of them could pay. At long last, the Golden Hogs had come together once again. Chapter 394: Knock, Knock Much could be said about the fae. And while none of it was the least bit positive, the strength of their nosiness couldn¡¯t be denied. To brazenly skip into my kingdom was one thing, but to do so in the heart of the Ivywood was quite another. As the oldest and proudest forest in my kingdom, the Ivywood boasted more than ancient oaks, dipping ferns and poisonous honeysuckle berries which I was ignoring Coppelia happily collecting. Foul things lurked within the shadows. Monsters with as many eyes as claws. Nightmares blacker than the corners they inhabited. Commoners lost on the way from the nearest bar. And also witches. Which was why¨C ¡°[Spring Breeze]!¡± Poomph. I watched as the most dangerous of them all flew into the orange horizon, off to terrorise the discarded apple cores and watermelon rinds of a different part of the world. A common fruit slime. ¡°Oooh~ not bad!¡± Coppelia went to her tip-toes, hands to her brows. ¡°The distance is ¡­ the sunset!¡± I smiled in satisfaction. Beneath the warm hue of a fading evening, the sound of Wirtzhaven¡¯s gulls had been replaced with the song of robins as they serenaded the end of the day ¡­ and also our arrival through a fae portal. Because as important as punting practice was, there was only one reason why we¡¯d be in the depths of the Ivywood. That was to ensure that once I returned home, the sound of a woman cackling in the distance wouldn¡¯t distract the servants from the much closer and far more beautiful laughter coming from their princess. Even so ¡­ that should hardly take away from my latest record! ¡°Ohohoho!¡± I raised a hand to my lips, not at all bothering to hide my smile. ¡°Why, this must be what Clarise experiences when she¡¯s close to preventing whatever she¡¯s making from exploding! Soon, the Mark IV Prototype [Spring Breeze] will be ready for field testing!¡± Coppelia broke into light applause. ¡°Uwah~ that¡¯s great! ¡­ Except I don¡¯t think a field is appropriate for testing. You should use something more varied. Like a human village.¡± ¡°Please, Coppelia. That¡¯s a terrible idea. Caterpillars are unlikely to inhabit villages. They¡¯re nothing but mud with few things green enough to nibble on.¡± ¡°I feel like you should use more than caterpillars too. And probably also fruit slimes.¡± ¡°Well, I certainly agree with that. But while etiquette demands that monsters be queueing up to offer themselves, it seems they¡¯re tardy. An unacceptable state of affairs. My monsters are slacking in their duties.¡± ¡°You know, I can¡¯t actually tell if that¡¯s an actual duty or just a princess expectation.¡± ¡°There are no such things as princess expectations. Just lawful obligations written clearly in my mind.¡± Coppelia giggled. I hardly saw why. Just because nobody else could see the ink didn¡¯t mean the words didn¡¯t apply. ¡°The Ivywood is the finest of our forests,¡± I continued with a nod. ¡°But such grandeur doesn¡¯t come freely. It¡¯s maintained by the funds of those seeking ever greater thrills. Although we passed through the narrowest neck on the way to Trierport from Aquina, the heart of the forest stretches far to the north. Here is where the darkness dwells. And that means it¡¯s a popular tourism destination for the bored 2nd sons of nobility.¡± ¡°Wow! I didn''t know you guys commercialised darkness. I thought that¡¯s something only we did in Ouzelia.¡± ¡°Then it¡¯s something you likely do better. The process isn¡¯t streamlined here. For one thing, the nobility rarely actually realise they¡¯re offering a donation. It¡¯s just a natural result of them fleeing from the first thing which slightly hisses at them.¡± ¡°You see, monsters are friends! ¡­ Speaking of which, what kind do you have here? They must be good if you¡¯re making money off them.¡± ¡°Indeed, they¡¯re quite horrific. Creatures the likes of which your nightmares have never conjured, engulfed in a shroud of blood so thick it casts its own shadow.¡± ¡°I bet that¡¯s just what it says on the pamphlets. You need to be more specific.¡± I thought for a moment. ¡°Well, I¡¯m ¡­ I¡¯m not actually too sure? ¡­ But rest assured, once they arrive to help me refine the Mark IV Prototype [Spring Breeze], you¡¯ll doubtless see them chasing the backs of shrieking sons while the maidens they brought to impress roundly tut. Just make certain you pluck any pouches of coin you see stuck between their teeth.¡± Copelia hummed at my sensible request. Then, she looked around herself like an owl searching for dinner. ¡°I only see fruit slimes. And also a racoon.¡± ¡°A dire premonition, then. When one rodent appears, the others will soon gather.¡± ¡°Sure, but the tiny mice I¡¯m pretending not to see don¡¯t have enough teeth.¡± Coppelia feigned a gasp. ¡°... Ah, could it be that this forest is actually sort of nice and pleasant? I bet if I walked into any forest in Granholtz, I¡¯d already have a cockatrice and a basilisk fighting over who gets to be punched by me.¡± I was appalled. At every word. But most of all at the insinuation the Grand Duchess possessed a single thing better than my kingdom which wasn¡¯t cobwebs. ¡°Coppelia! Even in jest, that is unacceptable! ¡­ Why, the monsters here are far more exotic and dangerous than what Granholtz has! Indeed, unlike basilisks and cockatrices you intend to brawl with, ours come only when the light has fallen. When they do, you need only imagine the worst. Something wreathed in so much darkness that it repulses light. A creature without mercy or compassion, whose every step echoes with disdain for all the living.¡± Coppelia paused, halfway towards reaching out for a poisoned ¡­ thing. She blinked at me instead. ¡°Huh, you¡¯re right. I can sort of imagine it just sort of strolling about.¡± I smiled and nodded. As my personal handmaiden, even her quips came as official statements. It was important she knew to take due care with her words. Besides, if the Ivywood¡¯s litany of bloodsoaked monsters were mysteriously absent, then it was only due to the witches and whatever their cauldrons boiled which managed to scare them away. Plus also the most alarming thing present. A wooden sign. WITCHLY VILLAGE Home of the Hexenkreis Clan Please keep our home tidy. Coppelia and I came to a stop. Having walked far more than a fae blessed with wings suggested would be needed, the forest had now opened up to a modest clearing. The oak trees dispersed to allow a meadow where the wildflowers could compete without being smothered by the gnarled roots which constantly sought to claim my ankles. However, while a wooden sign was always the omen towards a sigh, it wasn¡¯t the strangest thing here. That would be the door just a few paces behind it. A door ¡­ but not one attached to any wall. It was simply standing on its own. Unvarnished and unremarkable. A door which could lead to anything as long as it was a shed that no princess had a right to enter. Yet unlike every other door, it was seemingly held in place by an invisible hand. Or perhaps a barrier invisible to the eyes. Coppelia turned to me with a bright smile. ¡°You know what, I think the fae missed something.¡± I nodded. Indeed ¡­ she¡¯d missed the most obvious attempt at a trap. A door quite literally in the middle of nowhere was many things. But subtle was none of them. ¡°5.5/10,¡± I declared after a moment¡¯s thought. ¡°A shameless gambit. But the originality I acknowledge. The sheer audaciousness to correctly assume that even the most cautious would approach just to examine the mysterious standing door is to be admired.¡± Coppelia nodded at once. ¡°10/10!¡± ¡°C-Coppelia?!¡± I was aghast. ¡°We do not give perfect scores! Ever!¡± ¡°But it¡¯s amazing!¡± ¡°Amazing is irrelevant! To offer an impeccable grade is to ensure whoever thought to place this door here never works a day again! After all, there can be nothing but disappointment from now on!¡± It was no use. She was already preparing to kick down the door, despite the fact it should rightfully be falling over to the strength of my grief. However, while doing away with this obstacle without any witnesses to bribe was preferable to whatever explosion would occur were it to open normally, I still gestured for her to stop. At least for now. To my puzzlement, a hint of recognition came to me as I stared at the door. Almost all of it from the dull glint of a brass plaque. I knew what the words etched upon it were even before I tip-toed closer. The Royal Entrance. My mouth widened in shock. It ¡­ It was here! ¡°Ohohohohoho!¡± I turned to Coppelia with a smile even brighter than her own. ¡°My, what do we have here? ¡­ It appears we¡¯ve found an acquaintance!¡± Indeed, there could be no mistake! The woodwork without any embellishment, so plain that a farmer was clearly missing a barn door! Here was something last seen serving as a hidden entrance into an elven ruin. A rectangular test which only permitted those of royal lineage to pass. A door possessed by a demon matriarch, her sultry smile only visible as black ants dancing upon a muddy brown canvas. ¡°Huh, I wasn¡¯t expecting to see her again,¡± said Coppelia, still stretching her leg ¡­ presumably for the next door. ¡°I figured she¡¯d either have been banished back to lava land or released to cause a bunch of fun once her door was crushed by a falling wyvern.¡± I nodded. ¡°Then it appears she¡¯s changed employers.¡± Indeed, just as the wooden sign suggested, this was clearly where a magical barrier was currently obscuring the village. How she ended up here was an utter mystery. But I expected few answers. And that was fine. After all, I already knew the one that mattered. ¡°... Very well, then!¡± I clapped my hands in delight. ¡°Come, Coppelia! It¡¯s time you open this door for me again. Or perhaps we should allow the demon matriarch stuck inside to offer another riddle first?¡± The door made no response. Unlike previously, the unpolished fa?ade didn¡¯t light up with a drawing of a suspicious smile. Creaaaaaaak. Instead ¡­ it simply opened on its own. The hinges groaned as the door swung outwards, dispensing with any need for either a riddle or the assistance of a handmaiden. Yet far from rejoicing at this act of consideration, I could only stay perfectly still. Because rather than allowing me to peer through a doorway into a world of witches, what I saw instead was a slender figure stepping forth to personally welcome me. A lady whose lips were shaped into a mature smile. They were as scarlet as her dress. A thing which sucked in the sunlight, wreathing her in an impressive glow. A side parting revealed much of her leg, down to the shoes as formal as the masquerade mask around her eyes and the elegant bun of her raven dark hair. Her comeliness was obvious even with the mask. Enough to distract from the curled horns of an ewe, if not quite the eyes which smouldered with a sinister meaning. ¡°Here is your riddle,¡± said the demon matriarch, still with that same alluring voice, now no longer in door form. ¡°... Who is a princess who has made a terrible decision in attempting to enter the highly suspicious door?¡± I blinked. And then I looked up in thought. ¡°My dear, that was a rhetorical¨C¡± ¡°Wait, I¡¯m thinking.¡± S§×arch* The n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Chapter 395: Unhidden Faces Few things came in as many shapes as demons. They resided in more than children¡¯s nightmares. They were the denizens of the abyss. And just as the below they called home could twist and turn into a thousand grim landscapes, so too could they. Sometimes as slobbering horrors. Sometimes as movement in the corner of one¡¯s eye. And sometimes ¡­ as suspicious women wearing far too revealing a dress. An alluring beauty who might catch a whiff of attention were I not present. Even the slightest of her movements were graceful. As she idly leaned against the doorway with her arms crossed, the hem of her dress, the strands of her hair and even the edges of her eyelashes all seemed to flutter as the very breeze was charmed by her beguiling smile. I expected nothing else. After all¨Ceven without the curled horns of an ewe which sat like decoration upon her hair, there was little mistaking her nature. An aura of lecherousness seeped from her like the servants fresh from a tryst far too near my bedroom tower. And just like them, she would need to depart before objects started falling around her. ¡°Succubus,¡± I said, my nose wrinkling. Indeed. The masquerade mask did little to hide the unnatural beauty of her face. It did even less for her eyes. They flashed with a silver hue, her irises alight like a shimmering mirror. As she offered me her undivided attention, it was with a gaze so forceful that it possessed its own weight. A veritable banshee with flesh. Yet although she lacked either claws or fangs, neither was needed. Her very touch was crueler than any knife. A succubus didn¡¯t leave her victims lying in a pool of blood. She left them an empty husk dryer than any vampire could achieve. Her presence alone was a slow serenade of the end as all life was drained. And that meant compared to the vixens who inhabited my father¡¯s court, she had quite a ways to go. ¡°Succubus,¡± she repeated, her voice faintly amused. ¡°The famed sirens of the depths. Demons who wear the guise of beautiful maidens. Temptresses whose words are so potent that even those who know of their nature fail to resist their charms. Me.¡± She smiled as she raised a fingertip. But no spell came forth to melt me. Instead, she allowed a honey bee to land upon the tip of her nail. It fluttered its wings before being gently blown away. As it took off into the sunset, it swerved to and fro as though lost in a drunken stupor. I was unimpressed. That bee had a job. And it was more important than what any succubus was doing. Something I was more than willing to change. ¡°You appear dressed for a soir¨¦e,¡± I said with a nod towards her attire. ¡°I regret you shall find no such entertainment here. But if you desire, I believe I can secure an invitation to one of the many functions held in the Granholtz Embassy. There are endless opportunities for scandals that you may cause.¡± The succubus gave a modest laugh. It might even have been a snort. But the worst of the noise was instantly muffled. An impressive feat. ¡°A most generous invitation,¡± she replied. ¡°But one I must decline. Every soir¨¦e I avoid is a gift of fortune. Otherwise, I would be compelled to dance. And such a sight would burn to cinders the excellent reputation of my kind.¡± ¡°Truly now?¡± I offered a smile. ¡°My, what a surprise. I was made to believe that every succubus was a naturally talented dancer.¡± ¡°Then the lies of my sisters have truly made their way through every crack in the stonework. Allow me to tell you the truth. We succubuses have a single talent¨Cand that is for being utterly useless.¡± ¡°At dancing, do you mean? Or wisely pretending to admire the sunset when a princess wishes to skip by?¡± ¡°At everything.¡± The succubus gave a casual flick of her wrist. ¡°Dancing, singing, poetry, painting, and most of all, cooking. I have seen more calamity caused by an attempted hotpot than by any demon prince. Pans, lids, chopping boards and knives in every direction. There are those with two left feet. But my sisters and I are gifted with two left hands and no eyes at all. We are talentless to a fault, such is the curse my kind must bear.¡± I raised an eyebrow, mildly intrigued by a tidbit of knowledge none else seemed to know. ¡°Is that so? ¡­ I wasn¡¯t aware there was such a thing. What would this curse be that consigns you to such violent clumsiness?¡± ¡°Extraordinary beauty.¡± ¡°... Excuse me?¡± The succubus shrugged. ¡°What opportunity do we have to improve ourselves when those we hope to impress are already waiting upon their knees? When can we hope to learn when all the meals and fineries of the world are brought to us with but a thought? It is a dire existence. To be served constantly with no regard to effort. I¡¯m certain you must know this feeling all too well, Your Highness. It must be terrible in your position. A princess pampered to her soles when all you wish is to stand upon your own two feet.¡± A pause. ¡°O-Ohoho?!¡± I nodded fervently ¡­ all the while my hands immediately clasped around Coppelia¡¯s mouth, preventing a comment which didn¡¯t need to be said. ¡°In ¡­ Indeed! It is a truly degrading experience!¡± ¡°I can only imagine. And I was previously stuck in a door. The stifling dullness you experience must be beyond compare.¡± ¡°Quite so! Why, to be ceaselessly seen to by every servant whenever a carefully timed cough sounds exactly when their lunch break is due to begin is both unnecessary and tiring! I ¡­ I am but a dove who wishes to spread her wings!¡± The succubus nodded. She gallantly pretended not to notice as I silently bribed Coppelia with extra strudels before removing my hand. ¡°And how impressively you do so. Your wings spread more majestically than any raven. Or wyvern as that ridiculous elven king turned out to be. I¡¯m grateful you removed him from his perch.¡± ¡°Well, then I expect the gratitude to continue. It was an act of charity I did for your understanding in allowing us to walk past your door. I take it you¡¯ll also be similarly accommodating on this occasion?¡± The succubus¡¯s smile didn¡¯t lessen. She did, however, shift ever so slightly, her folded arms loosening. ¡°My apologies, dear,¡± she said, her voice almost giving way to a hint of actual sincerity. ¡°But as much as I wish to humour that, my duty as a guardian of a door is different to my duties as a door, little as the distinction might be.¡± ¡°Oh? My congratulations, then. You¡¯ve climbed the ladder.¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± ¡°It¡¯s nothing less than what someone who delivers riddles upon demand deserves. With that said, I suggest you climb back down again. New responsibilities means new problems. And I happen to be an exceptionally difficult one. I¡¯ve little idea how you escaped your door. But I suggest you do so again.¡± ¡°I¡¯m afraid that escape is highly subjective. I do not play my part willingly, other than the times I meet with a wandering princess. Whether I am stuck in a door or guarding one, to stare at the same scenery all day is saved only by amusing conversation. You are thus the bright spot in my day.¡± ¡°Yes, well, I¡¯m the bright spot in everybody¡¯s day. Especially those who don¡¯t bar my path.¡± ¡°Then I suppose I must endure the dimness. Regrettably, I have through poor life choices traded one cursed existence for another. An employer for another. It¡¯s a poor acknowledgement of my situation that I consider this to be a sizable improvement.¡± ¡°I see ¡­ and who might this employer be, to make a demon matriarch a troll door guard?¡± The succubus tilted her head slightly. ¡°I am expressly prohibited from speaking the name. My contract forbids it.¡± I raised an eyebrow. My, wasn¡¯t this simply quaint? I¡¯d come here for the only person more scandalously dressed than a succubus. And now it seemed that instead of just her unique brand of calamity, I could receive all the fiery spectrum of it. How convenient I could douse them all at once ¡­ providing, of course, that I could first squeeze my way past a highly unorthodox door guard. Sear?h the n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. ¡°Nnnnnnnnnnnggggghhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrrrr~¡± Because instead of the succubus attempting to enthrall me, what I witnessed instead was the only thing which could make me take several steps back. An unabashed yawn. It was the battle cry of the slovenly. To my horror, all the accumulated reputation of her kind was swept away by the sight of her tonsils. This wasn¡¯t the delicate yawn of a princess gently waking up in her orchard and immediately firing anybody who saw it. It was the other kind of yawn. The type krakens made when consuming a shoal of salmon. She followed it up by clasping her hands behind her, before arching back and staring up into the sky. Crack. The most unflattering sound any succubus could make. Far from the gracefulness her slight movements would suggest, her spine made a highly concerning noise as she held her new posture. ¡°One moment,¡± she said, her beguiling voice at odds with the clear note of her spine making secondary cracks. ¡°Before we continue, please allow me to indulge. Being in a door provides few opportunities to stretch. This is my first time in 87 years.¡± I was utterly horrified. ¡°You¡¯ve been in this door for 87 years?¡± I said, looking at the plain woodwork. ¡°I have. Awful, no? It¡¯s a punishment worse than the act of imprisonment itself.¡± ¡°I quite agree! Nobody deserves to be stuck in anything less than a door with a functional gargoyle head you could speak through ¡­ although I should ask what you did. Did you seduce the wrong mage?¡± The succubus gave another laugh. This time, the snort behind it truly could be heard. Without answering, she assumed an unflattering position as she placed her feet apart, then did her best to lean down and touch the tip of her shoes. She failed, her fingertips quivering with each reach. A different exercise immediately followed. Up went an arm raised above her head, followed by a stretch to the side as she began mirroring Coppelia¡¯s instructions. ¡°It¡¯s because I didn¡¯t seduce the wrong mage that I ended up in a door,¡± she said at last. ¡°This is the punishment for my failure as a succubus. But there is one benefit. And that is the feel of the grass after such a long absence.¡± All of a sudden, she took a deep breath. Then, deciding her bout of stretches were over, she kicked out her legs, lazily flinging her shoes off her feet to a scampering of movement in the nearby treeline. But that wasn¡¯t where it ended. Like a princess before her orchard, she crouched down and ran her hands through the swaying grass. Flop. And then still very much like a princess, she proceeded to do the same thing using her cheeks. The woman in her fine dress simply surrendered on the spot. With as little regard to her image as Coppelia before jumping onto a bed, she smothered her face into where the wild caterpillars doubtless nested in preparation for their next assault, sprawling with her limbs messily presented. Then, she inhaled the fragrance of spring pollen. ¡°Ahh,¡± said the succubus, rolling onto her back with a satisfied smile. ¡°The softness of real grass. A much more ticklish thing than in my memory. I can already feel a sneeze approaching.¡± I was appalled. Why, only I was allowed to judge the grass of my kingdom! ¡°Excuse me!¡± I said as I kneeled down to test the springiness at once. ¡°Please do not rub your face in my kingdom! ¡­ Furthermore, if playing in the grass is how you seek to charm me with your demonic wiles, it will not work!¡± ¡°Hm? ¡­ Ah, no, this isn¡¯t that at all. I really do enjoy the feel of grass.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± ¡°... Also, that really wouldn¡¯t be possible. I¡¯ve no interest at all in you. At all. Certainly not in that manner.¡± My hands covered my mouth. I blew away a blade of grass. ¡°Wha¨C?! What do you mean you¡¯ve no interest?! I¡¯m ¡­ I¡¯m a beautiful princess!¡± ¡°Indeed, you are. One whose personality I can glean through a single glance¨Cand what I see is somewhat more than I wish to deal with. As a result, my powers of manipulation, charm and temptation are quite limited. Please do not take this the wrong way. But I believe quite strongly that only somebody very ambitious, very optimistic or very insa ¡­ yes, very ambitious or very optimistic would deliberately seek your attention.¡± ¡°Y-You! You were just about to say something! What was it?!¡± ¡°Regardless, while I cannot enthrall you, I¡¯ve more traditional methods at my disposal. All of which I shall regret to use. Few succubuses revel in violence. I am not one of them. And you, especially, I find deeply entertaining. But it is only through fulfilling the terms I agreed to can I be released from my contract. You know how it is.¡± I pursed my lips. ¡°I do. And I know that every contract designed to entrap you can also be wriggled away from.¡± The smile wavered from the succubus at last. ¡°You are correct,¡± she said, her words deliberate and cautious. ¡°... Normally. But not this one.¡± She fixed her expression. And then¨C A portal wreathed in flames and shadow appeared between us. Chapter 396: The Ashen Duke The light dimmed around the small meadow, ushered away by a succubus¡¯s magic. Within a flaming portal hovering before me, nothing could be seen but a black swamp. It oozed and boiled like the surface of a hag¡¯s cauldron. And yet it wasn¡¯t smoke which rose from that unknown abyss. It was something darker. Something fouler. Shadows in the shape of clawed fingers, reaching out to suffocate the very sunlight, urged on by a chorus of ominous whispers. In short ¡­ a highly promising piece of furniture I could put into the guest quarters! Enquiries would need to be made. To learn that succubuses could craft such things wasn¡¯t what I expected, but I was nothing if not a paragon of efficiency. Why, not only could infernal portals replace the cost of maintaining our guest hearths, but the threat of a winged monstrosity stepping through at any moment would significantly reduce the amount of treason they discussed in the night! There was just one problem. I wasn¡¯t certain if these portals came with a lock. The black sheen offered little resistance as it was disturbed by an armoured boot smothered with fiery runes. It gingerly tapped at my grass in order to decide whether or not it was worth despoiling. The answer was obvious. And so came my next uninvited guest for the day. A slender figure encased in lamellar armour. Sanguine and gold was the theme. A pair of bold colours utterly surpassed by the fact that much of everything was on fire. It boasted a beaked helmet topped with a plume of burning feathers. Pauldrons in the shape of brilliant wings. Gauntlets smothered with gemstone rings. And a cuirass inscribed with the image of a phoenix so true to form that the scales flaked away as dying embers. Naturally, I was horrified. Why ¡­ it was moulting! Like a common pigeon! Except it wasn¡¯t feathers which littered my kingdom! It was ashes! ¡­ All of which needed to be tidied away before a passing horse ingested it! ¡°The Ashen Duke,¡± said the succubus, idly poking at a daisy. ¡°Master of the Smouldering Cycle, Ruler Of Mzerydon, and Heir to the Seventh Plane of the Unyielding Flame.¡± The armoured figure offered a nod. The portal closed behind him, and yet the meadow only dimmed further, cowed by the flaming armour which shone brighter than whatever hellish forge had crafted it. Thus, I acknowledged the new arrival with a polite smile ¡­ just before turning to the succubus with an appropriate look of overwhelming exasperation. ¡°Excuse me?! ¡­ Did you just summon a demon duke in my kingdom?!¡± ¡°This isn¡¯t a summon,¡± came the reply, the tone defensive. ¡°Merely an invitation. The Ashen Duke is a long-time admirer of mine. He¡¯s been waiting for this moment for a long time. He won the grand prize lottery for a handshake meeting with me.¡± I didn¡¯t bother hiding my groan. Succubuses. They were like baronesses if given actual power. They claimed they only wanted less taxes and maybe a pony from the royal stables. But this is exactly what would happen instead. A titled demon being summoned just to harass me. ¡°Well, can you not have this meeting elsewhere?! ¡­ This is highly inappropriate! I¡¯ve quite enough regular nobility inconveniencing me! I¡¯ve neither the time nor the inclination to dismiss nobility from the depths as well!¡± ¡°My apologies. But I cannot match the sword of a princess who can bring down a wyvern. In fact, I¡¯m worse at anything involving physicality than I am at dancing. That¡¯s quite the claim. To call upon helpers is the best I can do.¡± ¡°Your helper is a duke from the abyss?¡± The succubus shrugged. ¡°I¡¯m popular,¡± she said simply. ¡°But rest assured¨Cthe Ashen Duke¡¯s stay is temporary. He¡¯s bound to one task and one task alone. And that¡¯s to prevent your passage.¡± ¡°Uwaah~¡± Coppelia nodded as she took in the adversary she¡¯d shortly be helping me with ¡­ despite the fact that she was now several steps behind me. ¡°That armour isn¡¯t just enchanted,¡± she said with an enthusiastic smile. ¡°It¡¯s got a living flame inside it! He¡¯s the real deal. This is definitely the guy you fight after beating up all the other guys before him.¡± I pointed needlessly at the flaming figure. ¡°You see? My loyal handmaiden who will blink twice if she¡¯s tactically separating herself from me speaks truly! This is hardly a common goon! Can you not obstruct me with a flaming fruit slime?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t have access to any flaming fruit slimes.¡± ¡°Well, I suggest you begin looking! Because doorstops summon checklists, not dukes! ¡­ This is clearly a discrepancy. I demand you call upon something more appropriate.¡± The succubus raised an eyebrow. ¡°The Ashen Duke is chivalrous. An exceptionally rare trait where he comes from. Moreover, he¡¯s quite enamoured with me. I promise he¡¯ll offer you the least painful defeat you could reasonably ask for, and in the process, save you from meeting the certain doom which awaits beyond this point.¡± The duke in question stood still and tall, the flames from his armour enthusiastically lashing out to rescue me in the way scorching heat famously did. The only thing I wanted from him was a visitor¡¯s permit. Fortunately, I was more than happy to introduce every wayward demon, fae and adventurer to a border inspector¨Cafter I was done with whatever debacle awaited within a village of troublemakers. ¡°Doom wears a receptionist¡¯s uniform,¡± I said pointedly. ¡°Anything else is unworthy of my consideration. I shall therefore make a suggestion. You close your eyes as I walk by. And then I go offer the boot of authority to whatever gnat seeks to hold you against your will.¡± I waited for the nod of agreement. Instead, the succubus only offered a smile of regret. ¡°An almost tempting offer. But one I cannot take.¡± ¡°Why not? Would unholy retribution smite you?¡± ¡°Almost certainly. My eyes might close. But not those of the audience. I must therefore play the part expected of me. But although you may not appreciate this, know that I do you a severe favour in ensuring you do not pass. There are worse things than demons in this world.¡± All of a sudden, the waiting duke stirred. He spoke no words. But none were needed. Despite the flames which wreathed his armour, a cold intelligence gleaned from his eyes as he spied the sword by my side. A moment later¨C The plume upon his helmet moved. S§×ar?h the Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Like a snake coming to life, it slithered into a waiting gauntlet, twisting and narrowing, before its flames took the shape of a slender sword much like my own. And there the duke stood, his newly wrought sword held upright in the stance of a waiting duellist. I recognised it at once. A traditional fencing salute ¡­ and so I offered the appropriate response. A jab of my finger. ¡°No,¡± I warned the silent, but clearly eager duke. ¡°Perhaps chivalry has a different definition outside of this kingdom, but here, princesses do not duel with nobility.¡± ¡°A wise thing,¡± said the succubus with a nod. ¡°... Unfortunately, you¡¯re correct that chivalry has a slightly different meaning in the depths.¡± It was the only warning I received. My unwanted opponent lunged forwards. A rare duke who wasn¡¯t wielding a sloshing glass of wine, but a sword flashing with ravenous flames. Even so ¡­ he still managed to murder decorum just as much as any stain upon a dress did. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I was filled with grief. The nearby sign was wrong. This wasn¡¯t where a witchly village was. It was the grave where standards had gone to be buried. ¡­ Why, it was one thing to be challenged like a squire woken from a hedge, but for that challenge to be issued by foreign nobility was so beyond all expectations that my etiquette tutor¡¯s magical phantom was once again exploding! The rules were clear! If any nobility wished to stab me, then it was to be done via a knife to the back, an assassin hiding in a cake or a maid whose sleeves were obviously weighed down by a blade! This ¡­ This was outrageous! My family had no shortage of enemies both near and afar! Envy was a force greater than any ambition! But for any duke to personally brandish a sword at me was unthinkable! Without that thin veneer of plausible deniability, there¡¯d be neither royalty nor nobility left¨Conly bloodied carpets! No ¡­ I refused to accept this! I, Juliette Contzen, 3rd Princess to the Kingdom of Tirea, would never meet my end through anything as shameful as an earnest challenge! If nobility wished to thoroughly murder me, then it needed to be done with the cowardice they were known for! Anything else was a precedent which threatened the very fabric of civilised society! That¡¯s why¨C ¡°Absolutely not!¡± All at once, the light which had dimmed throughout the meadow returned as Starlight Grace shone as it left my side. It was enough to demand the flaming duke¡¯s caution. He checked himself with a swordsman¡¯s intuition, deliberately slowing as he eyed the newly drawn weapon. Then, he filled the distance between us with a measured thrust. A testing jab the likes of which my knights in the courtyard did to ease into their duels, for although his aim was true, the blade itself came more slowly than a ruler aimed towards my head. Pwiing! I duly obliged, whacking the sword aside with the disregard it deserved¨Cfor no matter how brightly it burned, it paled in comparison to a princess¡¯s indignation. The duke from the abyss paused, the eyes behind his phoenix helmet widening as he took half a step back. His entire posture suddenly changed as he adjusted his balance, his profile narrowing and sword stretching out. For a moment, all he did was silently regard me. Then ... with the confidence of one who¡¯d never fought a princess with exactly half a lesson in fencing before, he tossed his sword in the air. It flashed like a fiery baton, twisting as a swirling ribbon of embers before it dropped into a waiting gauntlet behind the duke¡¯s back. He wasn¡¯t even looking. His gaze was still upon me even as he flicked his sword over his shoulder and into his original hand. That was simply the beginning. A twirl. A spin. A whirl. From one hand to the other, he juggled his flaming sword less like a fencer and more a circus acrobat. As the blade constantly twisted and turned, so too did his limbs. He pirouetted in a manner which my ballet tutor would offer the compliment of silence towards, before performing what was either a highly unique dance or an undiscovered form of communication. It was ¡­ well, somewhat impressive. He didn¡¯t say anything, but he certainly didn¡¯t lack for emotion. Indeed, as the supposed demonic entity eventually came to a stop, it was with all his finesse and talent having been proudly displayed for my judgement. His sword lowered in expectation of an answer. I thought for a moment. ¡°6/10,¡± I declared with a nod of acknowledgement ¡­ just before raising Starlight Grace. ¡°[Spring Breeze].¡± Poomph. A pair of eyes flashed with indignation before the flaming duke was promptly invited elsewhere. An invitation he failed to accept. Because rather than crashing backwards into a rolling heap of infernal armour and sprained limbs, he instead braced himself. His heels dug into the soil, drawing a pair of trenches as he slid backwards. He straightened his posture. However, instead of simply returning to air his grievance over my fair and entirely partial scoring, he decided to show off just a little bit more. Fwoooooooosh. All of a sudden, a pair of fiery wings erupted from his back. Each and every feather was practically melting, the embers dribbling down like infernal snow. And then¨Che rose. Needing to beat his wings only a handful of times, he reached just high enough that nothing tossed could reach him. Or indeed, stop the sword in his grip from extending into a lance. He held his newly shaped weapon like a javelin above him as all notions of a fair duel were seemingly dismissed. But that was fine. After all¨CI never intended this to be fair. ¡°[Moonlit Flutter]!¡± And neither did Coppelia. Immediately twisting around, it was all the flaming duke could do to turn his lance to meet the coming scythe and the excited smile. He failed to block either. Gleaming amidst its own fog of shadow, the scythe swept cleanly through the infernal weapon, then sliced through both a pauldron and a wing. A silent cry was all that was heard as the duke plummeted back down to the ground. But not without a say in the matter. Even with a single wing, he angled himself and exactly half a lance towards me. Uncaring for his own constitution, he flapped his remaining wing, his weapon once again extending as he dived like a flaming arrow¨C Booooomph! ¨Cdirectly into a newly made crater as I promptly flattened myself in the grass. The scent of something charred mixed with the fragrance of spring. Specifically ¡­ a daisy idly tossed upon my head. ¡°It is folly,¡± said the succubus, as she readied another daisy to drop upon me. ¡°The Ashen Duke doesn¡¯t wear the sigil of a phoenix for vanity¡¯s sake. You cannot defeat him. Certainly not while he¡¯s still yet to receive a handshake from me.¡± ¡°You cannot be serious,¡± I said, mildly appalled as I brushed bits of grass away from my knees. ¡°Why, that sort of undying devotion is reserved exclusively for princesses!¡± The succubus gently laughed. ¡°A princess among my kind is a rare thing ¡­ but to boast a loyal admirer when there¡¯s so much competition is a rarer one. The grand prize lottery wasn¡¯t awarded randomly.¡± As I rose from the grass, the truth of her statement was clear. Amidst the tangled mess of limbs and armour leaking with fine streaks of flames, an elbow twisted together, followed by an ankle and then a knee in much the same manner that I expected of my knights. In just a handful of moments, the duke from the abyss and a succubus¡¯s #1 admirer rose with scarcely a scratch to show for it. Any dirt which threatened him simply burned away, joining what naturally moulted away from his armour. The same could be said for any acrimony he held. If there was a hint of begrudgement over his tumble, he didn¡¯t show it. Instead, his eyes were alight with a warrior¡¯s pride as the lance in his grip divided into two swords. One for me. One for Coppelia as she hopped down beside me. He raised both blades in challenge towards us ¡­ just before twirling them ¡­ crossing them ¡­ and also flipping them, lightly tossing them into the air like salad in a mixing bowl. ¡°Ooh, ooh!¡± Coppelia raised her arm as her scythe rested against her shoulder. ¡°Do you take requests? Can you try juggling?¡± The flaming duke paused. His eyes glowed with clear indignation at the very suggestion. After all ¡­ as he proceeded to easily toss his two swords between either hand, it was clear that such an easy feat was beneath him. ¡°More, more! How many can you do? 4? 5? ¡­ 6?¡± A hint of a snort sounded from the previously silent helmet. A moment later, all that could be heard was the sound of Coppelia¡¯s wild clapping as the duke sent a grand total of 23 swords high into the air, forming an unbroken ring of flames. Naturally, I wasn¡¯t so easily taken. The fact that I was also applauding? Irrelevant. This was more than an impressive circus display. It was a show of both confidence and prowess. Indeed, if this juggling demon duke saw fit to entertain his adversaries, then he was doubtless confident in surviving as many falls as could be arranged. Clearly a problem. To refuse to be defeated was an even greater breach of protocol than this already was. Nothing was worse than insisting upon a princess¡¯s time. Except perhaps the lackadaisicalness in trying to murder me in return. After all, if he wasn¡¯t going to fall over, then he at least needed to make good on his own challenge towards me. That was the least of expectations. For when it came to the subtleties of murder, demons were hardly known for their sense of restraint. So much so, in fact ¡­ that it was plain this was more show than substance. ¡°Hehehehehehehehe~¡± Why, there was even another guest. From somewhere both near and afar, a girlish giggle decided to fill the air, the unashamed amusement tinkling alongside the sound of applause. I was delighted, of course. For someone unwanted to hurl mockery at their own introduction was highly convenient. It meant I could save mine for what came later. Book 10 Is Now Available On Amazon!! Hi there! Liliane Harten (in barmaid form) has now joined the world of eBooks! If you''d like to experience the travesty which is a princess forced to look at multiple adventurers again, you can do so now. Thank you so much for your endless support! If you''d like to help out even more than you already do, feel free to leave a rating. It helps a lot! sea??h th§× n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Book 10: eBook (This will receive an audiobook too!) Chapter 397: A Princess’s Gift ¡°We are being watched.¡± All of a sudden, the succubus sat up straight. She became rigidly still. An action mimicked by the world around us. The leaves ceased to rustle. The grass no longer swayed. And the 23 flaming swords which had so keenly danced in the air instead found themselves doused into nothingness. I was almost impressed. Only those who recognised the sound of my delicate footsteps sat up half as much as the succubus now did. For her employer to be so beloved that she reacted like a startled servant, maid or guard whenever I slowly walked by the very moment they sat down for even a whisper of a second was quite the feat. ¡°Oh?¡± I offered a curious smile. ¡°¡­ And who is watching, exactly?¡± The succubus made no reply. She frowned instead, her eyes slowly taking in the still meadow, the quiet flames from a duke whose performance was sadly curtailed, and a wooden door practically floating upon the grass nearby. ¡°... I am being judged,¡± she said, her tone cautious. I idly looked around. ¡°Is that so? My, how disrespectful. To me.¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°For anyone else to be judged while I¡¯m present is highly impolite. As a princess, all eyes should permanently be turned towards me. Your discomfort is only reasonable. I see that a word is in order.¡± The succubus blinked. She simply stared at me, and in the process, demonstrated exactly what the appropriate conduct was. ¡°My dear,¡± she said after a pause. ¡°A single word is more perilous of an exchange than any amount of swords you might cross with the Ashen Duke. You know little of what awaits. There is something so dark that even the light flees from it. A thing of such foulness that every nightmare you¡¯ve ever suffered would suddenly seem as warm as the sweetest dream. Sleep would never find you again. Your only respite would be the bumps in the night, each now a mere lullaby against the weeping of your soul.¡± The succubus¡¯s voice was earnest. Even the demonic duke offered the closest thing to a grunt of agreement. And so I nodded ¡­ all the while raising a hand to my smile. ¡°Ohohohohohoohohohoho ¡­ !!¡± Only disbelief met my beautiful laughter. I hardly saw why. After all ¡­ what she proposed sounded highly convenient! ¡°Truly now? How marvellous! If I can¡¯t be rid of the mice dancing above every ceiling, then perhaps I can at least convince myself that they¡¯re actually playing Du Chambremont¡¯s ¨¦tude No. 32.¡± ¡°This isn¡¯t¨C¡± ¡°Exactly. This isn¡¯t worthy of my concern. However foul your employer might be, know that I have already survived the darkness¨Cand it came in the form of ink written on a certificate which my loyal handmaiden repeatedly assures me she¡¯s destroyed.¡± Coppelia whistled, suddenly interested in an ordinary daisy. I pursed my lips. Another conversation. Another day. ¡°... With that said, to turn and flee is simply unacceptable. This is my kingdom. And the only direction I go is forwards. Or wherever my horse takes me.¡± S§×ar?h the N?vel(F)ire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. The succubus quietly considered me. ¡°I see ¡­ then I suppose we must move to the less family friendly part of this performance.¡± Without even needing a click of a finger, the waiting duke brought forth a sword unlike any he¡¯d boasted so far. The flames were black as midnight, matching the sombreness which befell his summoner. Naturally, I understood her regret. Succubuses so rarely met anyone with whom beauty advice could be gleaned. To allow the opportunity to pass harmed her more than any unseen knife held to her back ever could. Even so, a contract was a contract. She was required to uphold the role of a doorstop. And her fate was to experience life as a punted fruit slime. To escape this was truly the finest riddle anybody could offer. But no riddle came without an answer. And I was more than a princess. I was also a genius. Ohohohohohoho! Indeed, there was a simple way for a doorstop to escape their duties ¡­ and that was to ensure no door remained to be guarded! Where others saw obstacles, I only saw a flimsy piece of wood! However, while every door related problem could easily be resolved with a Coppelia sized solution, it was hardly enough to kick this one down, wasn¡¯t it? The juggling and the showmanship hadn¡¯t been without purpose. It was to offer me plentiful cause to flee, all the while making sure no boos were directed at her from the audience. And for good reason. It¡¯d be terrible if she left the stage only for complaints written in infernal scripture to hound her for a perceived lack of effort. That meant ¡­ I had to ensure the succubus had the chance to naturally bow out! She needed the dignity of a defeat so needlessly flamboyant that she could hold her head high as an excellent door! Thus ¡­ it was time for my acting to blossom! I took in a deep breath. ¡°Very well, then,¡± I said, placing my hand to my chest. ¡°I see you intend to fulfil the terms of your contract. You¡¯ve called upon your most steadfast champion. The Ashen Duke is a foe who would drive the fear into any knight. His prowess with a sword ¡­ including circus skills, is undeniable. It is clear that to risk his ire would mean my end.¡± The succubus turned her gaze downwards. ¡°My apologies,¡± she said. ¡°I understand you wish to do well. But I speak the truth when I say this is preferable to any outcome where you would pass me.¡± ¡°Fear not. I do not doubt your sincerity. And so I ask only this¨Cplease do not doubt mine.¡± ¡°... Excuse me?¡± I nodded confidently. ¡°Despite your predicament, you¡¯ve earnestly attempted to fulfil your role. I¡¯ve now utterly no choice. I must use all my strength as a princess in order to achieve victory. In short ¡­ I can no longer hold back.¡± I raised my sword. Strangely, far from responding with a look of utmost despair, she only appeared aghast. It was ¡­ well, not the correct reaction, but I could work with this! ¡°Indeed, I will now use my full strength,¡± I said, subtly enunciating every syllable as slowly as humanly possible. ¡°My full strength. I will use a technique so powerful that even a demonic duke blessed with a phoenix¡¯s endurance can do nothing but suddenly and inexplicably be sent back to the abyss. The moment I strike, he will mysteriously disappear. Almost as if he has been dismissed. Do you understand?¡± The succubus stared at me. She raised an eyebrow, her head tilting as she offered me a look of pure confusion. I nodded in satisfaction. As expected of a succubus, her acting skills could put the seasoned veterans of the Royal Arc Theatre to shame! Why, given her reaction, anyone would think that she didn¡¯t understand my perfectly clear but also veiled instructions! Thus ¡­ I assumed a pose I was all too familiar with. That of a trained ballerina. ¡°You say you make a poor dancer,¡± I said as I made minute adjustments. ¡°But I believe you¡¯ve never had a suitable tutor. Rejoice now. For I shall offer you a dance which you shall remember even in the darkest of places, to help light your way back to where the grass can be found.¡± I offered a smile. And then¨CI began to twirl. No differently than when I was upon the stage, I swept around, a symbol of grace and elegance even as my long hair instantly smacked against my own face. I spun regardless, my hands and feet delicately angled. And just like each time before now, all the world stopped to watch. The cry of birdsong turned to silence, and for a moment, all that could be heard was the sound of an audience gasping in silence ¡­ plus my melodic laughter. ¡°Ohohohohohohho ¡­ follow the silver path I carve, lit beneath a melody of endless light. Hear the song of the garden, the notes blooming ever as dawn upon the petals and the leaves.¡± I swept my sword around me as I would a ribbon, allowing the light to flare. ¡°Celestial Starlight Form, 2nd Stance ¡­[A Dreaming Cadence, A Lasting Reverie].¡± I closed my eyes. Within a single breath, I danced without end, Starlight Grace painting lines in the air as I offered my finest display for all the world to judge. Then, as my movements slowly came to a still, I opened my eyes to the sight of an evening unfettered by any darkness. The fresh shafts of golden sunlight poured upon the small meadow, illuminating the leaves which began to drift down from the branches of every tree. As the forest offered its applause, so too did those around me. Coppelia¡¯s wild applause filled the air. And for a brief moment, so did that of a flaming duke of the abyss. The sight of his gauntlets clapping in acknowledgement was all I saw before he faded into dust, his flames returning to where they were more needed. Only his conjurer remained. The succubus still sat upon the grass, her mouth now almost as wide as her eyes as she played the role of the defeated. She touched her cheeks as though searching for a wound. Then, she held up a palm, catching the drifting leaves as they fell. ¡°... I suppose I¡¯ll be needing to re-arrange the handshake event,¡± she said as several leaves landed upon her face. She blew them away and pondered. ¡°Hm. How unusual. The fragrance is almost sweet.¡± I smiled and nodded. ¡°Ohohoho ¡­ such are the leaves of my kingdom. But there are nicer ones elsewhere. Those belonging to the apple trees of my orchard are particularly noteworthy.¡± ¡°An orchard. Quite the endearing image. There are few where I¡¯m from.¡± ¡°Well, perhaps you should alleviate that. No orchard grows without effort. But it can always be done. Even beneath the ground.¡± The succubus gave a laugh. It was like the tinkling of a bell. A laugh unburdened by any weight upon her shoulders. Or commands gripping her arms. ¡°I¡¯d need to learn how to garden first ¡­ but perhaps that¡¯s something I could manage. Even on the most dull of days, I found I enjoyed watching the flowers grow. I must say, you¡¯ve quite the colourful kingdom, Your Highness. And that extends to yourself.¡± I offered a curtsy, such as the compliment deserved. ¡°The colours of my kingdom are there to be enjoyed¨Cproviding you pay the appropriate fees, of course. If you wish to see more of this fair and gentle land where nothing bad ever happens, then I remind you that official documentation is required.¡± The succubus gave a little snort. I didn¡¯t see why. I was being serious. A permit was needed. She clutched at the falling leaves in silence. They all came together as a collage of green, sprinkled with the odd budding peony and iris lifted from their homes. The gift of both spring and summer. And also a fitting memory to take with her, wherever she opted to go next. But not just yet. After all, there was still something which needed to be done. ¡°Heh heh.¡± Coppelia beamed beside me ¡­ all the while stretching her leg in preparation. ¡°You know, anytime I see you dance, I almost want to learn it myself.¡± I clapped my hands in delight. ¡°My, is that so? Then we can begin immediately!¡± ¡°I said almost. I¡¯m a busy clockwork doll, you know.¡± ¡°Well, it shouldn¡¯t take much time. I already you¡¯ve the footwork for it. It¡¯s just a case of learning the formal movements. But that won¡¯t be an issue. Especially when I¡¯d be your tutor.¡± ¡°... Have you ever taught anyone before?¡± ¡°Of course.¡± ¡°Eh? Really?¡± ¡°Really! In fact, my lessons are quite renowned. After giving just one, Tristan never needed another from me again. That means I¡¯ve a 100% satisfaction rate. Should we make a start today? If formal dance turns out to be too dull, I could also teach you something more impromptu¨Csuch as what I just did.¡± Coppelia let out a giggle. ¡°Hmmmmmmmm ¡­ I¡¯m pretty sure I can¡¯t learn that one.¡± Then, with her [Coppelia Kick] prepared and smile at the ready, she turned her attention towards the wooden door. For my part, I was satisfied. It wasn¡¯t a denial. And that was a start. Fwump. Certainly, I was happier than she was. Because as the door fell back upon the grass, her smile faded as all her anticipation was betrayed. A moment later, we watched as the magical barrier, previously unseen, began to shimmer as innumerable fissures suddenly appeared like fractures upon a glass window. ¡°Hehehehehehehe~¡± Somewhere, a laugh sought to welcome us, the sound both grating and childish. An audience awaited. A deeply troubling thing. But not for me. Ohohohoho ¡­ my audience was by invitation only. If anybody wished to admire me upon my stage, then they needed to pay a fee. And that was fine. I was all too happy to collect. Chapter 396: To Nurture A Flower The surface of the door oozed like a hag¡¯s cauldron. Ringed with flames, nothing could be seen within it but a black swamp, disturbed only by the occasional bubbles and also a twig which Coppelia tossed at it. The twig was tossed back out, punted by an armoured boot. And so came my next uninvited guest for the day. A towering figure encased in scaled armour. Sanguine and gold was the theme. A warrior boasting a beaked helmet topped with a plume of burning feathers. There were pauldrons in the shape of brilliant wings. Gauntlets smothered with rings. And a cuirass inscribed with the image of a phoenix. Most of all, however, were the armoured scales flaking away like burning embers. Naturally, I was horrified. Why ¡­ it was moulting! Like a common pigeon! Except it wasn¡¯t feathers which littered my kingdom! It was ¡­ things! All of which needed to be tidied away before a passing horse ingested it! ¡°The Ashen Duke,¡± echoed the succubus from behind her flaming door. ¡°Master of the Smouldering Cycle. Ruler Of Mzerydon. Heir to the Seventh Plane of the Unyielding Flame. President of my fan club.¡± The armoured figure offered a nod. The door used as a portal burned merrily away, and yet the meadow only dimmed, cowed by the partially flaming armour which shone brighter than whatever hellish forge had crafted it. Thus, I acknowledged the new arrival with a polite smile ¡­ just before turning to the door with an appropriate look of overwhelming exasperation. I had no doubt the succubus could see it. ¡°Excuse me?! ¡­ Did you just summon a demon duke in my kingdom?!¡± ¡°This isn¡¯t a summon,¡± came the reply, the tone defensive. ¡°Merely an invitation. The Ashen Duke is my longest admirer. He won the grand prize lottery for a handshake meeting with me.¡± I didn¡¯t bother hiding my groan. Succubuses. They were like baronesses if given actual power. Oh yes, they claimed they only wanted less taxes and maybe a pony from the royal stables¨Cbut this is exactly what would happen instead! A titled demon invited just to harass me! ¡°Well, can you not have this meeting elsewhere? ¡­ This is highly inappropriate! I¡¯ve enough regular nobility from the depths already inconveniencing me!¡± ¡°My apologies. But I cannot match the sword of a princess who can bring down a wyvern. In fact, I¡¯m worse at anything involving physicality than I am at dancing. That¡¯s quite the claim. To call upon helpers is the best I can do.¡± ¡°This is not a helper! This is a fire hazard!¡± ¡°Rest assured, the Ashen Duke is very meticulous. Just like his handwriting in the 17 daily letters he sends me. He¡¯s bound to one task and one task alone. And that¡¯s to prevent your passage.¡± ¡°Uwaah~¡± Coppelia nodded as she took in the adversary she¡¯d be helping me with ¡­ despite the fact she was now several steps behind me. ¡°You¡¯d never tell he sends 17 letters a day. He looks like the guy you fight only after beating up all the other guys before him.¡± ¡°You see? My loyal handmaiden who will blink twice if she¡¯s tactically separating herself from me speaks truly! This is hardly a common goon! Can you not obstruct me with a flaming fruit slime?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t have access to any flaming fruit slimes.¡± ¡°Well, I suggest you begin looking! Doorstops summon checklists, not dukes! ¡­ This is clearly a discrepancy! I demand you call upon something more appropriate!¡± ¡°The Ashen Duke is chivalrous. An exceptionally rare trait where he comes from. I promise he¡¯ll offer you the least painful defeat you could reasonably ask for, and in the process, save you from meeting the certain agony which awaits beyond this point. Believe me when I say I¡¯m doing you a favour. Only doom lies ahead.¡± The duke stood still and tall, the moulting scales of his flaming armour enthusiastically waiting to do me a favour in the way scorching heat famously did. ¡°All I need from him is a visitor¡¯s permit,¡± I said pointedly. ¡°Something everybody is lacking these days. Fortunately for both you and him, there¡¯s a queue. I shall therefore make a suggestion. You open your door, close your eyes, and I go offer the boot of authority to whatever gnat holds you against your will.¡± I waited for the door to open. It didn¡¯t. ¡°A very generous offer,¡± said the succubus after a pause. ¡°But one I cannot take. My eyes might close, but not those of the audience. There are worse things than demons in this world. And they are not for a princess to see.¡± All of a sudden, the waiting duke stirred. sea??h th§× ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. The flaming plume upon his helmet moved like a snake coming to life. It slithered into his waiting gauntlet, twisting and narrowing, before taking the shape of a sword much like my own. There the duke stood, his newly wrought weapon held upright against his chest. He spoke no words. But none were needed. I recognised this stance at once. A traditional fencing salute ¡­ and so I offered the appropriate response. ¡°No,¡± I said with a jab of my finger. ¡°Perhaps chivalry has a different definition outside of this kingdom, but here, princesses do not duel with dukes.¡± The armoured figure offered a bow. It was the only warning I received before my unwanted opponent dived forwards. Not with a sloshing glass of wine. But with a sword lashing with ravenous flames. And so all I could do was groan. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. The nearby sign was wrong. This wasn¡¯t where a witchly village was. It was a graveyard where decorum had gone to be buried. Why, it was one thing to be challenged like a squire woken from a hedge, but for that challenge to be issued by foreign nobility was so beyond expectation that my etiquette tutor¡¯s magical phantom was once again exploding! Indeed ¡­ the rules were clear! If any nobility wished to stab me, then it was to be done via an assassin hiding in a birthday cake or a maid whose sleeves were weighed down by a knife! ¡°¨CAbsolutely not!¡± Thus, the light which had dimmed throughout the meadow returned as Starlight Grace left my side. It was enough to demand the flaming duke¡¯s caution. Clearly remembering his station, he immediately checked himself, heels digging into my soil. An intelligent gleam came from between his visor as he eyed me holding my sword. Then, he filled the distance between us with a lethargic thrust. A weak, taunting jab the likes of which my knights would take as an insult, for although the aim was true, the blade came as slowly as a book aimed towards my head. Pwiing! I duly obliged, whacking the sword aside with the disregard it deserved. The duke paused, his eyes widening as he took half a step back. His entire posture changed as he adjusted his balance, his profile narrowing and knees dipping. For a moment, all he did was silently regard me. Then ... with the confidence of one who¡¯d never fought a princess with exactly half a fencing lesson before, he tossed his sword in the air. It flashed like a fiery baton, trailing a ribbon of embers over his head before returning to his hand now behind his back. And then he did it again. And again. That was still only the beginning. A twirl. A spin. A whirl. From one hand to the other, he juggled his flaming sword. As the blade twisted and turned, so too did his limbs. He pirouetted in a manner which my ballet tutor would offer a nod towards, before he then performed what was either a highly unique dance or an undiscovered form of communication. It was ¡­ well, somewhat impressive. He didn¡¯t say anything, but he certainly didn¡¯t lack for emotion. Indeed, as the duke came to a stop, it was only after all his finesse and talent had been proudly displayed for my judgement. His sword lowered in expectation of an answer. I thought for a moment. ¡°5.5/10,¡± I declared as I raised Starlight Grace. ¡°[Spring Breeze].¡± Pwoomph. A pair of eyes flashed with indignation before the flaming acrobat was invited elsewhere. To my surprise, he actually accepted¨Cat least for a moment. Rather than crashing backwards into a rolling heap of infernal armour and sprained limbs, he accepted the delicate breeze, arms spread as his boots left the ground ¡­ and then continued leaving the ground as a pair of fiery wings erupted from his back. Fwoooooooosh. Every feather was practically melting, the embers dribbling like infernal snow as he rose. It made little difference. Beating his wings only a handful of times, he reached just high enough that nothing tossed could reach him ¡­ or indeed, to stop his sword from extending into a lance. He held his newly shaped weapon like a javelin above him as all notions of a fair duel were dismissed. But that was fine. After all, I never intended this to be fair¨Cand neither did Coppelia. ¡°[Moonlit Flutter]!¡± It was all the flying duke could do to turn his lance against the coming scythe and excited smile. He failed to block either. Gleaming amidst its own shadow, the scythe swept cleanly through the infernal weapon before separating both a pauldron and a wing. A silent cry wailed as the duke plummeted back down to the ground. But not without a say in the matter. With just his remaining wing, he angled himself and exactly half a lance towards me, diving boldly like a flaming arrow¨C Booooomph! ¨Conly to dig a fresh crater as he fell woefully short. The duke became a tangled mess of limbs and armour leaking with fine streaks of flames. Even so, it was clear he didn¡¯t wear the sigil of a phoenix for vanity¡¯s sake. He twisted his elbows, ankles and neck back in place in much the same manner that I expected of my knights, before rising with scarcely a speck of dirt to show for it. The broken lance in his grip divided into multiple daggers as he approached, each held between his fingers like the claws of a lava wyrm. Still, if there was any hint of begrudgement over his tumble, he didn¡¯t show it. His eyes were alight with a warrior¡¯s eagerness as he raised his many blades in challenge ¡­ just before twirling them ¡­ crossing them ¡­ and also flipping them like salad in a mixing bowl. A highly concerning display. And not because I feared for my life. ¡°Ooooooh~¡± Coppelia applauded, her scythe resting against her shoulder. ¡°Not bad. That¡¯s almost as much as I can do.¡± I nodded gravely ¡­ all the while adding a smattering of claps. Indeed, if this juggling demon duke saw fit to entertain his adversaries, then he was undoubtedly confident of surviving as many falls as could be arranged. Clearly a problem. To refuse to be defeated was an even greater breach of protocol than this already was. After all, nothing was worse than insisting upon a princess¡¯s time. Except perhaps this overwhelming lackadaisicalness in trying to murder me. If he wasn¡¯t going to fall over, then he at least needed to make good on his own challenge towards me. That was the least of expectations. For when it came to the subtleties of murder, demons were hardly known for their sense of restraint. So much so, in fact, that it was plain this was more show than substance. ¡°Ohohoho ¡­ very well, I understand now.¡± The duke blinked. His circus display came to a pause as he stared at the sight of my smile, and in the process, demonstrated exactly what the appropriate conduct was. ¡°My dear,¡± came the succubus¡¯s voice. ¡°I¡¯m not certain what you believe you understand. But it isn¡¯t the wisdom of remaining where you are. You should heed the Ashen Duke¡¯s flames and turn. For beyond it is a darkness which will consume your nightmares.¡± ¡°Is that so? Then I¡¯ve nothing to fear. I¡¯ve already survived the darkness¨Cand it came in the form of ink written on a certificate which my loyal handmaiden repeatedly assures me she¡¯s destroyed.¡± Coppelia whistled, suddenly interested in an ordinary daisy. I pursed my lips. Another conversation. Another day. ¡°... With that said, to turn and flee is simply unacceptable. This is my kingdom. And the only direction I go is forwards. Or wherever my horse takes me.¡± A succubus¡¯s groan of despair filled the air. Naturally, I understood why. She was currently a doorstop. Before that she was a door. Only trolls envied her career progression. And now she was forced to impede the only person with enough functioning limbs to assist her. For her to escape was truly the finest riddle anybody could offer. But no riddle came without an answer. And I was more than a princess. I was also a genius. Ohhohohohohoho!! Why, there was a simple way for her to escape her duties ¡­ and that was to ensure no door remained to be guarded! Indeed, where others saw obstacles, I only saw a flimsy piece of wood! However, while every door related problem could be resolved with a Coppelia sized solution, it was hardly enough to kick this one down, wasn¡¯t it? The juggling and the showmanship hadn¡¯t been without purpose. It was to offer me plentiful cause to flee while still making sure no boos were hurled from the audience. A high level of effort needed to be displayed in shooing me away. Otherwise, complaints written in infernal scripture would likely turn the succubus into a fruit slime. A perilous dance. She was offering her kindness despite the role she needed to play. That was an act of graciousness. And as a princess, I didn¡¯t intend to let such cordiality go unanswered. Thus ¡­ it was time for my acting to blossom! ¡°Very well, then,¡± I said, placing my hand to my chest. ¡°I see you intend to fulfil the terms of your contract. You¡¯ve called upon your most steadfast champion. The Ashen Duke is a foe who would drive the fear into any knight. His prowess with a sword is undeniable. It¡¯s clear that to risk his ire would mean my end.¡± ¡°My apologies. I understand you wish to do well. But I speak the truth when I say this is preferable to any outcome where you would pass me.¡± ¡°Indeed, I can see you¡¯ve earnestly attempted to stop me. I¡¯ve now utterly no choice. I must use all my strength as a princess in order to achieve victory. In short ¡­ I can no longer hold back.¡± Only a stunned silence answered as I raised my sword. But nothing else needed to be said. I understood my role ¡­ and that was to ensure the succubus suffered the dignity of a defeat so needlessly flamboyant that not a single accusation of slacking could be levelled against her! ¡°... Eh?¡± I nodded confidently. ¡°Indeed, I will now use my full strength,¡± I said, subtly enunciating every syllable as slowly as humanly possible. ¡°My full strength. I will use a technique so powerful that even a demonic duke blessed with a phoenix¡¯s endurance can do nothing but suddenly and inexplicably be defeated. The moment I strike, he will either mysteriously disappear or simply explode into nothingness. Do you understand?¡± Before me, the succubus¡¯s chosen henchman suddenly leaned away. A glint of overwhelming concern appeared in his otherwise fiery demonic eyes. And maybe also pure confusion. I nodded in satisfaction. As expected of someone who could mildly amuse a princess with his circus skills. His acting skills could put the seasoned veterans of the Royal Arc Theatre to shame. Why, given his reaction, anyone would think that he didn¡¯t understand my perfectly clear but also veiled instructions! Thus, I assumed the pose of a trained ballerina¨Cand then I began to twirl. No differently than when I was upon the stage, I swept around, a symbol of grace and elegance even as my long hair smacked against my own face. I went on regardless, hands and feet delicately angled. Just like each time I stood upon the stage, all the world stopped to watch. The cry of birdsong turned to silence, and for a moment, all that could be heard was the sound of an audience gasping in silence ¡­ plus my melodic laughter. ¡°Ohohohohohohho ¡­ rejoice, for I shall offer a dance so vivid that even the stars may recall it, so follow this silver path beneath a melody of light. Hear the song of the seasons, blooming as dawn upon the wind.¡± I swept my sword around me as I would a ribbon, allowing the light to flare. ¡°Celestial Starlight Form, 2nd Stance ¡­[A Dreaming Cadence, A Lasting Reverie].¡± I closed my eyes. Within a single breath, I spun without end, Starlight Grace painting lines in the air as I offered my finest display for all the world to judge. Then, as my movements slowly came to a still, I opened my eyes to the sight of an evening unfettered by any darkness. The fresh shafts of golden sunlight poured upon the meadow, illuminating the leaves which drifted from the branches of every tree. As the forest offered its admiration, so too did those around me. Coppelia¡¯s wild applause filled the air, joined by an odd croaking from the succubus as she sat upon her bed of flowers while wearing every shade of disbelief. The door which had been her prison and her shackles was now gone. As was her loyal admirer, his flames having returned to where they were more needed. Playing the role of the utterly defeated, the succubus then gingerly patted herself down as though searching for a wound. She found only the drifting leaves instead, each proceeding to guide her as she crawled to the edge of her tiny garden. She reached out and poked the grass like a tabby cat swiping at the hem of a dress. A pause and a wince later, her mouth widened as she didn¡¯t instantly turn into a fruit slime. And then¨Cshe did what anyone released from the clutches of an unvarnished door would do. She rolled. ¡°Aahhhhh~¡± she said, collecting the grass upon her dress and hair. ¡°Omnidirectional movement! It¡¯s ¡­ It¡¯s so wonderful!¡± With a look of overwhelming joy, the succubus rolled to and fro, caring little for the way her hair messily unravelled. Only when it was beyond saving did she sit up again, catching the falling leaves in her palms. They all came together as a collage of green, sprinkled with the odd budding peony and iris somehow lifted from their homes. The gift of both spring and summer. Then, she turned to happily show them to me. ¡°Thank you,¡± she said with a smile more innocent than any succubus had ever made. I nodded in acknowledgement. It was a simple, but heartfelt moment of gratitude. Which was great. But also not enough. ¡°The colours of my kingdom are there to be enjoyed,¡± I said as I waved away the drifting leaves attacking my face. ¡°I¡¯m delighted you see the beauty in them ... provided that you paid the appropriate fees, of course. I remind you that official documentation is required for sightseeing.¡± The succubus paused. She waited for me to smile in jest. I didn¡¯t. ¡°Oh,¡± she said, blinking. ¡°But I¡¯ve been a door.¡± ¡°Excuses are irrelevant. If you wish to see more of this fair and gentle land where nothing bad ever happens, then a permit is needed.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t have a permit ¡­ should ¡­ should I be leaving?¡± ¡°That depends on whether or not the talent I see can be nurtured. Would you like to improve upon your gardening skills?¡± The succubus blinked, then leaned slightly away. ¡°... Maybe?¡± she said, with all the caution I ever received when I made a generous offer. ¡°Excellent. Can you pour tea?¡± ¡°Well, yes. I¡¯m a courtesan.¡± ¡°Wonderful. Then I shall offer you training as a prospective maid.¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°You shall be under the guidance of the Royal Villa¡¯s most merciless staff, whose idea of morning is 2 minutes before dawn rises. It will be a brutal experience, not helped by the delicious ¡­ I mean, the debilitating amount of chaos you will personally cause when our guests forget their marriage vows in order to impress you. In return for this service, however, you may have your own garden in the courtyard which I¡¯ll personally help supervise.¡± I paused. ¡°... You will also have a salary. And sometimes free cake.¡± The succubus simply stared at me. After a moment, she looked back at the ashes of her door, then gave a hum. I took that as a yes. ¡°Welcome to the Kingdom of Tirea,¡± I said with a bright smile. ¡°And remember when anyone asks¨CI did nothing wrong.¡± Chapter 397: The Only Way Is Up Through use of Princess Clarise Contzen''s highly experimental Time Reversal Toothpick, the previous few chapters detailing the succubus encounter have all been condensed and tidied up! There is also an entirely new outcome! Spoiler Succubus has joined the Royal Villa as meido! [collapse] ****** Sunshine was the enemy. It was the first lesson in How To Be A Succubus 101. Except Tione made for a poor student. And unlike her sisters, she didn¡¯t need the darkness to hide her blemishes. Her smile was proof of that. Not only was it faultless, but through years of studious effort and training, she¡¯d learned how to carefully twist her lips in such a way that she could maintain her smile for 17 minutes and 42 seconds. A record which immediately earned her the honorary title of matriarch. Most succubuses could barely hold theirs for a single moment before their inner disdain for whoever they were scamming revealed itself. Tione was a prodigy. A peerless beauty. A unicorn amidst mules. And she was meant for greater things than the damp and the dark. Of course, it wasn¡¯t all bad beneath the surface. There was comfort in the depths. In the gentle dripping of water as it made its journey through the stone, the song of the night orchids as they bloomed, and the cries of dwarves as they dropped their pickaxes and fled because Malgazuth, Tyrant of the Cinder Throne and Devourer of Worlds was passing by to check on how his goldfish pond was doing. But for all the joys that her next door neighbour could bring, there were things which not even the scamping feet of intruders could match. The music of harps. The intrigue of court. The swishing of a flowing gown. And most of all¨C ¡°Heheheheheh.¡± There was also the mystery sculptor. Her mystery sculptor. Tione didn¡¯t know who he or she was. Only that as she emerged from a goblin cave and almost directly into a ravine, that finding this person was her only objective. And all she had for clues was a single clay figurine clutched in her palms. A fruit slime in the midst of a bounce. It was the most immaculate work of sculpting she had ever seen. To lesser eyes, it would appear as little more than a children¡¯s plaything. But for Tione who had graced the palaces of beings whose names were now lost to decaying tomes, it was exemplary. The details in the way the fruit slime squished itself prior to hopping were so lifelike that she¡¯d initially thought it was a real fruit slime that had been magically petrified. And that was nothing compared to the dragon figurine she¡¯d left behind in her home. If a mage enlarged it, she had no doubt it¡¯d cause an entire kingdom to evacuate. As a result, Tione came to the surface for one reason¨C She wanted herself to be sculpted. A full-size statue. Nothing else would do. She wanted a model of her so true to life that she could leave it outside her door to collect gifts on her behalf. The time saved and the amount of cheek muscles allowed to rest would be extraordinary. ¡­ She also wanted to complete her figurine collection. Tione had no doubt that the artist would want to sculpt her. It was an honour that would have everyone above and below the surface brawling with each other to do. As a succubus, any attempt to recreate her image was normally a hideous insult. Sadly for her ambitious plans, issues started piling up immediately. The figurines originated from a kingdom called Tirea. That also suggested the sculptor was human. Both were excellent clues. But while she¡¯d successfully exited the correct goblin cave, the fact remained that she had utterly no idea where to go. She needed to ask for directions. This was a problem she didn¡¯t think she¡¯d have. Shockingly, humans were extremely wary of beautiful women soliciting them out of nowhere. And while she could conceal her horns, she could do little about her naturally alluring nature. She could charm everyone for answers, but signs of her magic would swiftly mean a cadre of armed paladins gently querying her with their maces and swords. Instead ¡­ she had to rely on the only thing which seemed to shine more than her beauty. Crowns. Tione¡¯s smile was enough to secure a 95% discount on everything she needed. But few things came for free. And she realised very swiftly that without offering anything in return, the only humans prominent enough to assist her stopped smiling in return. In fact, they became actively unhelpful. As she travelled from village to village, fruit slime in hand, rumours of a penniless dark sorceress soon began to precede her. It was awful. But she¡¯d at least learned that the mystery artist was likely based in the kingdom¡¯s capital. A journey that would require multiple carriages and crowns she didn¡¯t have. Tione was soon given a stark choice. She could make the arduous trip back home and come back with a heap of gold crowns ¡­ or she could risk confrontation by either using magic or perhaps stealing what she needed. Faced with the brutal reality of her lack of preparation, she decided to do what any succubus would. ¡°... Have you decided what to order ¡­ ?¡± She got a job. Replacing her elegant dress with a waitress¡¯s uniform, Tione, famed courtesan, succubus and demon matriarch, smiled as she held up a tray against her chest. It was the most efficient and safest way to accrue what she needed. While she could probably find who she needed without resorting to temporary employment, the fact remained that having a few crowns made things exceptionally easier than having no crowns whatsoever. S~ea??h the N??elFir§×.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. Even so, it wasn¡¯t easy. In fact, it was incredibly difficult. Tione might have cried. Several times. In front of customers. Waitressing was a skill far beyond anything she¡¯d ever undertaken. As a succubus, she lacked for nothing. Everything she didn¡¯t even know she wanted and a lot of things she definitely didn¡¯t were simply handed to her for existing. Actually needing to move her limbs instead of others moving theirs to accommodate her was a new experience. Regardless, Tione persevered. She endured the broken tableware, the drunken hollering, the stained everything and the late nights. She learned how to take orders, serve food, clear tables, handle transactions ¡­ and she learned how to scrub. So much scrubbing. It was constant. An endless battle against the currents as she grit her teeth like a drowning sailor. From the second she started to the moment she collapsed in her lodgings above The Rosehearth Tavern, all Tione could do was survive. Days turned to weeks and weeks into months. Her life became a blur as stains, alcohol and the faces of her regulars filled up her memories. Every now and again, a reminder appeared from the back of her head letting her know she¡¯d earned more than enough crowns to get by. In fact, she could move out of her shared lodgings. But it was always useful to have more. What if the sculptor demanded payment? What if the search went on for months? And most of all¨C ¡°[Sacred Entombment].¡± What if her fellow succubuses conspired to send a powerful mage to seal her away, having learned that she was single-handedly improving their reputation? In that event, Tione wished she had more. Her bribe wasn¡¯t enough. The playfully named staff door was the nearest viable prison. Wood was a living vessel, and was appropriate as a means to send a message. It was strong enough to hold her, but also weak enough to falter ¡­ eventually. Tione learned a lot in the time to come. She learned that her sisters were the least salvageable people in existence. She learned that people were now even more willing to hire her. She learned that princesses were avatars of destruction. And she learned not to accept a contract when the one writing it knew that a princess was on her way. But most of all, she gained a new perspective. The identity of her sculptor was still a mystery. And yet it was no longer more than a curiosity. Despite her field of vision being largely fixed, she saw more of the world as a door than she ever had as a succubus. She watched as Lady Lumielle¡¯s domain flourished, the flowers blooming, wilting and renewing. A cycle of life and colour. A beauty different from her own, and one which didn¡¯t exist beneath the surface. Tione enjoyed watching it very much. Of course, it also helped that she wasn¡¯t alone. ¡°Ooph,¡± came a lively voice. ¡°I thought I was heading back home there. And not in the way I wanted.¡± The freshly released succubus blinked as she stared at the sky, the back of her head resting against her little garden she¡¯d worked to nurture. Then, she turned her head slightly. Climbing unashamedly from a shrub he¡¯d been hiding in, the Ashen Duke rose like a figure from legend. Adorned in golden and sanguine armour gifted by the Lady of the Crimson Tower, he was the very picture of a phoenix knight. Except the flames were now entirely spent. Or perhaps they¡¯d simply been whisked away¨Cjust like a door, a curse and even an infernal contract had been. The Ashen Duke stretched, his bones cracking into place. His armour and enchanted jewellery allowed him a significant amount of damage, but the blows he received were by no means small, even if he did know to leap out of the way the moment that princess began doing ¡­ whatever that ridiculous thing was. ¡°Are you unharmed ¡­ ?¡± asked Tione. The Ashen Duke gave an energetic nod. Then, dispensing with his act, he lifted his helmet off, revealing a face which caused nothing but problems when he was doing anything in public. But that was expected of a lord incubus. Especially one with as many titles as him. He was Master of the Smouldering Cycle. Ruler Of Mzerydon. Heir to the Seventh Plane of the Unyielding Flame. President of Tione¡¯s fan club. And also her father. ¡°Oh, I¡¯m quite well,¡± he said with exaggerated sprightliness. ¡°No need to worry. You should have seen what I looked like when I first started wearing this armour. Thought I was invincible. Well, I was¨Cmostly. But invincible doesn¡¯t mean untwistable. Your mother was wincing for a week.¡± ¡°I heard. She says she thinks about that scene when she¡¯s annoyed with you.¡± ¡°Really? I can¡¯t see why wincing would help with that.¡± ¡°She doesn¡¯t wince anymore. She smiles.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± Tione¡¯s father looked sheepish as he now considered every recent memory where an argument was suddenly interrupted by a smile. It was a certain innocence which most people didn¡¯t associate with incubuses. But then again, Tione herself was hardly the representative of her kind. Like father, like daughter. After a moment, she stretched out her arms and rolled for the sake of it. ¡°You don¡¯t need to visit anymore,¡± she said into a dandelion. ¡°... But thank you for pretending not to be bored.¡± ¡°Please, Tione. If I ever find you boring, rest assured I¡¯d never visit. Until then, I hardly need you entombed in a door to find an excuse to visit. Although I admit it helps. You wander slightly less. I wonder if that¡¯ll continue to be the case?¡± Tione counted the fluff as she blew at the dandelion. The fact she was alive to do that was unbelievable. Succubuses were specialists in ways to get themselves murdered. Envy was a sin for a reason, and it was the emotion they helped pollinate the most. Most of all, however, was the fact that they were also very unlucky when it mattered most. They lacked for nothing, true, but everything worked on a scale. She wondered what the cost of this would be. ¡°I¡¯m not sure,¡± she said honestly. ¡°I think I¡¯ve been released ... although I¡¯ve no idea how. The princess ¡­ she broke the door.¡± Her father chuckled. ¡°She didn¡¯t break the door,¡± said the Ruler Of Mzerydon, his keen eyes flashing even without a phoenix helmet. ¡°She severed it. Just as she did your bindings.¡± ¡°... How?¡± ¡°Good question. There are swords in Ouzelia said to be powerful enough to shatter the laws of magic. But as far as I can see, we are neither in Ouzelia, nor was that the sword of a heroine. To do what she did ¡­ well, let¡¯s just say I¡¯m glad I decided to make friends with the shrubbery.¡± Tione could only stare. Although he spoke with his usual perkiness, there was no flippancy in his words. That princess ¡­ that girl, she could do with a normal sword what others needed a holy relic to do. For a moment, the succubus closed her eyes, wondering if her rescuer was a saintess in service to the heavens or a knight from the pages of a fairytale. Either way, she had no idea why she¡¯d be worthy of being rescued. She had even less regarding why she¡¯d be hired as a maid. As far as Tione was aware, there was nothing she could offer. ¡­ At least not yet. She still needed to find the sculptor of her fruit slime ¡­ except it wouldn¡¯t be herself she¡¯d be commissioning. Tione hummed as she imagined what sort of pose a princess would like. Still, perhaps she could simply ask her. She¡¯d need help with her new garden, after all. Chapter 398: Act One A witchly village frozen in time. I was almost impressed. Even the Royal Institute of Mages had yet to accomplish anything as curious as this. All they could do was summon black holes in the sky. And sometimes camembert upon my father¡¯s request. Nobody quite knew where they came from ¡­ just like nobody knew how these witches had conjured themselves into their current predicament. Beneath a fading evening, I was greeted with a sight worthy of their reputation. There were teapot houses, gardens with more moss than a goblin smoothie, and gnarled oaks which didn¡¯t try to break my ankles. Each was something stranger than the last. And yet what wasn¡¯t strange was the lack of welcome. Here in this tiny village, there were more intruders than there were residents. Squirrels, badgers and even the odd fruit slime took the opportunity to reclaim what had once been theirs, scurrying or bouncing between the overgrown gardens. How any of the delicate hydrangeas survived was a puzzle, but not as much as the witches tending to them. Despite the smiles they wore as they eternally watered their herbs and their potted plants, it was clear that only anxiousness for their fates could be seen in their eyes. Unmoving and unspeaking, they were even helpless to the tickling bump of a fruit slime. If the squirrels decided to use them as a scratching post, there would be nothing left to mourn. Thus, seeing the inhabitants at the mercy of the local fauna, I did what I had to. S§×ar?h the N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality. ¡°Hm hm hm hm hmm ?.¡± Pausing beside a witch drawing water from a well, I leaned down and carefully plucked the little purse of crowns by her waist, then dropped it into my bottomless pouch. Ohohohoohohohohoho!! Indeed, as a princess, I could not permit the innocent to needlessly suffer! ¡­ And since nobody was as innocent as a princess, that meant I had to seize the opportunity to do what would certainly be more cumbersome once every witch could complain! Yes ¡­ taxing the village! ¡°... I found more stuff!¡± Emerging from a circle of gossiping witches, my loyal handmaiden held an armful of potions. While they didn¡¯t clink like the promise of crowns, the concerning colour they gave off spoke of their value to either apothecaries or goblins. I leaned away slightly, all the while offering a bright smile. ¡°Ohohoho! ¡­ Well done, Coppelia! Make sure to thoroughly search every witch! Whatever undeclared valuables they wish to hide, we must properly appraise!¡± ¡°Woooooooooooo! Requisitioning is so fun!¡± ¡°Very true, but this isn¡¯t requisitioning.¡± ¡°Ooh, really? So we¡¯re just going to call it looting?¡± I gasped at the insinuation. ¡°Coppelia! This is not looting!¡± My accomplice looked between my slightly bulkier bottomless bag, the slightly lighter witches, and also the rare potions she was slowly emptying into her own pouch. She then raised her arms and beamed. ¡°This is not looting!¡± ¡°Exactly. This is an official levy overdue by several centuries. And given how much they¡¯ve squirreled away, they¡¯ve clearly enjoyed prospering at the kingdom¡¯s expense.¡± Indeed, although this was only a cursory inspection, it was clear the witches had far more to offer. A peek into any of the teapot windows never failed to reveal an emporium of apparatus, magical scrolls and books upon books waiting within. There were more in every home than the shelves could hold, and were instead overflowing from cabinets and cauldrons. Frankly, it was little wonder why the witches were so secretive. There were nobility who would pay their weight in gold just to learn how to avoid my tax inspectors half as well as they did. ¡°Your witches are great!¡± said Coppelia, poking every pocket as we continued our tour. ¡°Normally, they threaten to conjure a fruit slime onto your next dessert if you try to tax them. These ones haven¡¯t complained once!¡± ¡°Ohohoho ¡­ why, that¡¯s only to be expected. They¡¯re clearly so stunned by my presence that all thought to even greet us has abandoned them.¡± ¡°Mmh~ although there¡¯s also the crazy amount of magic in the air.¡± ¡°Oh, is that magic? I thought it was just the badgers. I can practically feel the weight of their stares. You must stay vigilant.¡± ¡°... Of the badgers? Or whoever induced magical stasis on an entire village of witches?¡± ¡°The badgers, of course. They¡¯re clearly powerful enough to defeat whoever assailed the witches. But I expect nothing less. If badgers can return to my orchard after I gently shoo them away, then no magic is enough to stop their wish for wanton destruction.¡± Coppelia giggled. I hardly saw why. The only reason they hadn¡¯t already consumed everything was because they¡¯d been satiated elsewhere. Likely on my petunias. ¡°For wanton destruction, it doesn¡¯t look too bad. I¡¯ve visited a bunch of witchly villages, but this is the first that still has teapot houses. That¡¯s really old fashioned.¡± ¡°Yes, well, this is a kingdom which values traditions. Even as hermits, it¡¯s only natural that the local witches respect the image chiselled by their forebears. I also find it quaint.¡± ¡°Mmh, me too! The countryside look suits your kingdom really well!¡± ¡°Hm? What do you mean by ¡®the countryside look¡¯ ¡­ ?¡± ¡°I mean that the reason teapot homes don¡¯t exist in other kingdoms anymore is because the witches have moved to the towns and cities. And once you realise that a square gives more volume than a teapot, there¡¯s no going back. Being a witch is just another shade of mage, after all. I like that! Your witches still keep to their rustic ideals.¡± I covered my mouth. ¡°R-Rustic ¡­ ?!¡± ¡°Great, huh?¡± ¡°No, that is awful! I thought this was how all witchly villages were ¡­ but you¡¯re saying they¡¯re provincial? Why, if they knew how wonderful and modern my kingdom¡¯s towns and cities are, they¡¯d never have resorted to hiding away their wealth!¡± ¡°I think in terms of population density, only your capital counts as a city.¡± ¡°Exactly. The vastness of my kingdom is beyond definition. It¡¯s the only reason they¡¯ve been left behind ¡­ but since they have, I can at least make use of it. Perhaps by selling packaged tours through their village.¡± Indeed! I could do little for their way of life, but I could at least bring them up to modern productivity! I just needed to fix a few things first. Their dress sense most of all. Despite their teapot homes, the residents didn¡¯t even remotely look like witches. They wore frumpy clothing made for comfort, adorned with aprons and the occasional scarf. In fact ¡­ there was only a single exception. A woman holding a broomstick, wearing a wide brimmed hat impractical enough to impede movement and dark robes sewn with a starry sky. A far more traditional appearance compromised only by the fact that she looked like she¡¯d just been wildly sprinting. The sweat drenching her brows glistened beneath the fading sunlight. Hmmmmmmmmmmm. I paused, then narrowed my eyes as I looked at her. There was something almost familiar about this one. How odd. Perhaps there were witches among the noblewoman at my mandatory tea parties. It would explain the many times the shortcakes vanished despite nobody other than myself eating them. ¡°Tourism never works with witches,¡± said Coppelia, the sagely shake of her head drawing my attention again. ¡°People think they want to experience riding on a broomstick. But once they do, they just end up suffering lifelong trauma and fearing the sight of the sky.¡± ¡°Well, as long as they pay, I hardly see the problem.¡± ¡°I think the problem is that everybody starts blaming the witches. And then next thing you know, they¡¯ve disappeared for another 500 years.¡± I groaned at the thought. If that happened, it meant I¡¯d need to tax them again. ¡°You have something even better, though,¡± added Coppelia. ¡°Witches are great at the whole forbidden book thing. I bet there¡¯s at least a few highly destructive grimoires mixed with the tomes of brownie recipes around here. You can sell them to the big guy!¡± ¡°... Really? How much for?¡± ¡°Loads. That¡¯s what the hoard is for. And if Fleur ever stops being bonked on the head for trying to get him to take over the world, I¡¯m sure she¡¯ll make sure you get a freebie from the souvenir shop too.¡± I blinked. And then¨C ¡°Ohohohoho! My, that¡¯s an excellent idea! I can be rid of the future culprits who¡¯ll drag me out of bed with a calamity and extort your dragon in the process! ¡­ In which case, I¡¯ll need to thoroughly appraise the value of every grimoire!¡± Coppelia, star employee that she was, merely giggled at the thought. ¡°I think that¡¯ll be hard. Not a lot of people outside of dragons know how to value forbidden books. And the big guy will definitely try to pay as little of the loads as possible.¡± I hummed. ¡°... In that case, what about her?¡± ¡°Yep! She¡¯d probably know how much everything is worth.¡± Deciding not to ignore the most obvious feature of this tiny village any longer, Coppelia and I turned our eyes towards its very centre. There, clearly at odds with the rest of the village, was a raised wooden stage. Theatre Of Joy Despite the sign before it, it was less a theatre and more the corner where penniless bards went to drown in their sorrows. It was a modest affair to say the least. A few props had been arrayed in the backdrop. Cutouts of apple trees and flowers stood behind a small white table adorned with teacups and plates of cake. Around it were several chairs. All were empty, save for a child whose appearance was as innocent as a meadow in springtime. A circlet of flowers sat upon her golden hair, while her blue dress could have substituted for an apron. As she quietly sat, she defied the motionless state of those nearby, taking sips of her teacup while requiring both hands to lift it. A childish gesture which would have every grandmother battling to answer her every whim. Except mine, of course. She would have identified the posture as being poor etiquette, and then also chastised her for the slightly shaking smile. After all, just because the child was being left to continuously hold a teacup while her guests blatantly ignored her was no excuse to allow appearances to fail. ¡°Wow,¡± said Coppelia. ¡°It¡¯s amazing how long she can just sit there and wait for us.¡± ¡°Really? I find it unsurprising. Those who have arranged themselves to sit with an air of mystique have already committed. There is no going back.¡± ¡°How do you think she keeps refilling her teacup?¡± ¡°She doesn¡¯t. She¡¯s only pretending to sip. You can tell from the angle of the tilt.¡± ¡°Ooh, you¡¯re right! ¡­ You think if we leave and come back she¡¯ll still be there?¡± ¡°Yes. I¡¯m tempted to see how long that will be.¡± ¡°She needs to use the restroom eventually, right? We can go up to her when she wants to leave.¡± ¡°Now that¡¯s just cruel. To purposefully wait until the exact moment the teapot she¡¯s drunken decides to punish her is something not even the worst of nobility deserve.¡± ¡°What about a little human girl who has less than a 0.015% chance of actually being a child?¡± ¡°Even then. There are some things which are truly taboo. No, for our host, she may have something less severe. Obviously, we cannot simply approach. In order to upend whatever carefully staged choreography she has prepared, we first need the slightest edge to throw her off balance. A minor advantage to aid us in the discussion to come.¡± Coppelia pointed at a stack of unused chairs nearby. ¡°... What if I throw a chair at her?¡± she asked, her turquoise eyes blinking innocently. I gasped. ¡°That¡¯s an awful suggestion! To begin diplomacy by throwing a chair at the other party is beyond all reasonable expectation! The utter contempt for etiquette is enough to cause teacups to shatter in protest! That isn¡¯t just offensive¨Cit¡¯s utterly demeaning!¡± Coppelia nodded. I nodded. A moment later¨C ¡°[Coppelia Throw]!¡±