ã€ŠEx-Husband&#x27;s Regretã€‹


 Chapter 1

    Divorce decree

    I get out of my car and slowly walk towards the mansion. My hands were trembling and my body was

    sweaty.

    I still couldn¡¯t believe that it was done. That I was finally divorced from him. The proof of that was

    currently in my handbag. I was here to bring the final papers to him and to pick Noah up.

    Entering the house, I follow the sounds of hushed voices but stop in my tracks when I near the kitchen.

    Right now I could hear them clearly and what I heard encased my soul in ice.

    ¡°I still don¡¯t understand why you can¡¯t live with me and mommy?¡± Noah asks his father.

    My shaking hands go to my chest. My heart breaking at the sadness in his voice. I would do anything for

    him, but this divorce was inevitable.

    Our marriage had been a mistake. Everything about us was a mistake. It just took me a while to see the

    truth.

    ¡°You know why Noah, you mother and I are no longer together¡± His voice is soft as he replies.

    It¡¯s weird really. That during the duration of our marriage he has never once spoken to me softly. It was

    always cold. Always t and devoid of any emotion

    ¡°But why?¡±

    ¡°These things just happen¡± he mumbles.

    I can imagine his face frowning. As he tries to make Noah understand so that he doesn¡¯t ask any more

    questions. But Noah is my son. Curiosity and inquisition is in his blood.

    ¡°Don¡¯t you love her?¡±

    My breath gets caught at the simple heartfelt question. I take a step back and lean against the wall.

    Heart racing, I wait in anticipation for his answer.

    I knew his answer. I¡¯ve always known what it is. Everyone with the exception of Noah probably knows

    that damn answer.

    The truth is he doesn¡¯t love me. Never had and never will. That was as clear as day. Knowing this, I still

    wanted to hear his reply. Would he tell our son the truth or lie to him?

    He clears his throat, obviously stalling. ¡°Noah¡­¡±

    ¡°Dad, do you love mommy or not?¡± Noah asks again, his voice final.

    I hear him sigh in defeat. ¡°I love her for giving me you¡± he finally says.

    It was a cation not an answer.

    I close my eyes against the rush of pain that fills me. After all this time. It still hurts. I feel my heart

    breaking all over again. I don¡¯t know why a small part of me had hoped that his answer would be

    different.

    He never said those three words to me. Not when we got married or when I gave birth to Noah, nor after

    in the years that had passed or when we slept together.

    He held himself back through the entire duration of our marriage. I gave him my all but he gave me

    nothing in return except pain and heartache.

    We were married but instead of two, there were three of us in our marriage. Him, me and the love of his

    life. The woman he¡¯s refused to let go for nine long years.

    Tears fill my eyes but I rub them way. I was tired of crying. Tired of chasing after a man that didn¡¯t want

    me.

    ¡°Has anyone ever told you it¡¯s rude to listen to other people¡¯s conversations?¡±

    His deep voice cuts through the silent space. Interrupting my thoughts in the process. I square my

    shoulders and enter the kitchen.

    There he stands near the kitchen counter. My now ex-husband, Rowan Woods.

    His mocking grey eyes pins me to the spot.

    My eyes shift to my son. My pride and joy. The only good thing in my life. His good looks are definitely

    curtesy of his dad. He has my brown hair and his prating grey eyes.

    ¡°Hello¡± I give them a small smile.

    ¡°Hi mommy¡± Noah ces his half eaten sandwich down and jumps down from the counter. He rushes to

    me and hugs my mid-section. ¡°I¡¯ve missed you¡±

    ¡°Missed you too, my love¡± I kiss his forehead before he steps away from me and goes back to his food.

    I stand there awkwardly. This used to be my home, but now I feel out of ce in it. Like I don¡¯t belong.

    In truth though, I never did.

    Knowingly or unknowingly, he built this house with HER in mind. This was HER dream house, everything

    down to the color scheme.

    That should have been the first indication that he wasn¡¯t nning on letting her go. That he wouldn¡¯t

    reciprocate my love for him.

    ¡°What are you doing here?¡± he asks in annoyance and stares at his watch. ¡°You promised you wouldn¡¯t

    interrupt my time with Noah¡±

    ¡°I know¡­I got the divorce degree today and I thought I could bring you the copy while I pick up Noah¡±

    His face turns stone cold and his lips form a thin line. Every time he looks at me like this, a piece of me

    breaks. I¡¯ve loved him since I can remember but that doesn¡¯t mean a damn thing to him.

    Over and over, he has broken my heart and shattered my soul. I continued loving him. Holding on.

    Thinking things will change, but they never did.

    When we got married I thought I would finally get love. The love I¡¯ve been craving since I was a child. I

    was wrong. Marriage turned to be a nightmare. I was always fighting with the ghost of his past. The

    ghost of a girl I could never measure up to no matter how much I tried.

    I rub my chest. Trying to ease the pain that was encased there.

    It does no good. It still fucking hurts even though we¡¯ve been separated for months.

    ¡°Noah, could you go up to your room? Your mother and I need to discuss something¡± Rowan says

    through clenched teeth, the word mother slipping out of his mouth in disgust.

    He looks between us for a minute before nodding.

    ¡°No fighting¡± hemands before leaving.

    As soon as he is out of ear shot, Rowan bangs his fist on the counter in anger. His grey eyes are icy as

    he addresses me.

    ¡°You could have sent them to my damn office instead of interrupting my time with my son¡± the words

    leave his lips in a growl. His hands are fisted and he looks about ready to blow up on me.

    ¡°Rowan¡­¡± I sigh, unable toplete the sentence.

    ¡°No. F***ing No! You turned my life upside down nine years ago, you did it again when you asked for that

    fucking divorce, was it your way of hurting me? Separating me from my son because I couldn¡¯t love you.

    Newssh Ava, I fucking hate you¡±

    He¡¯s breathing hard by the time he¡¯s done. The angry words tumble out of his mouth like bullets shooting

    straight at me. I feel them pierce my heart. Each word shattering my already fragile heart.

    ¡°I-I¡­¡±

    What¡¯s there to say when the man you still love says he hates you?

    ¡°Just get out of my fucking house¡­I¡¯ll bring Noah home when my time with him is over¡± he snaps.

    I put the divorce decree down on the counter. I was going to apologize when my phone rings. I take it out

    of my bag and check the caller ID.

    MOTHER.

    I wanted to ignore it but she never calls me unless it¡¯s something important.

    I swipe the screen and bring the phone to my ear.

    I sigh ¡°Mothe¡­¡±

    She doesn¡¯t give me chance to finish my sentence.

    ¡°Get to the hospital now! Your father has been shot¡± she says almost hysterically before hanging up.

    My phone slips from my hand. I¡¯m shocked.

    ¡°What is it?¡± his voice prates my brain.

    Heart racing, I don¡¯t look up as I pick my phone and answer him.

    ¡°Father has been shot¡±

 Chapter 2

    Sorry for your loss

    ¡°I need to go, could you please stay with Noah? I don¡¯t know how long I¡¯ll be there¡± I say absent

    mindedly as I pick up my handbag.

    ¡°Sure. I¡¯ll be there as soon as I can get my mother toe baby sit him¡± Rowan responds but it is

    drowned by the ringing in my ears.

    Nothing much registers as I say goodbye to my son and leave. I get inside my car and begin to drive to

    the hospital. My mindpletely lost in memory.

    Growing up, you could say that I was emotional neglected. I was the child that none of my parents

    cared that much about. Father¡¯s favorite was my older sister, Emma. He used to call her his baby girl.

    His princess. Mother¡¯s favorite was my older brother Travis. He was her handsome boy. I was no one

    favorite. I was just Ava.

    I always felt unwanted. Unweed. Not only with my parents but also with my siblings. No matter

    what I tried to do, good grades, sports, school clubs. I always remained in the sidelines. I always felt

    like a stranger looking in. Never part of the big happy family.

    After what happened nine years ago, the little rtionship I had with my family became none existence.

    Travis rarely talked to me and he and father would even go to great lengths to downright snub me.

    Mother wasn¡¯t much different. She only talked to me or called when she had something important to tell

    me. With my sister that was apletely different case. We haven¡¯t seen or talked to each other in

    nine years. Thest words she told me was that I was dead to her. That she no longer had a sister.

    Now here I am. Driving to the hospital because father has been shot and all I feel is numb. Despite

    everything that has happened. Shouldn¡¯t I be feeling something more? Maybe sadness?

    What are you supposed to feel when you¡¯re told that the father who shunned you all your life is lying in

    bed with a bullet wound? How am I supposed to react? And is it weird that I feel nothing?

    The whole drive to the hospital is reflective. As I think of my childhood and even part of my adulthood.

    The pain and hurt is still there. I don¡¯t think the pain of rejection from my own family will ever go away.

    That¡¯s who I am. A rejected woman. First by my family, then by my husband and inws. The only one

    who epts me and loves me just the way I am is Noah.

    It doesn¡¯t take long to get to the hospital. We had one main big hospital in this town and I just knew

    that¡¯s where my father was.

    Parking my car, I get out. The cool evening air ruffles my hair. I take a deep breath and square my

    shoulder before entering the building.

    ¡°I¡¯m looking for James Sharp, I believe he was brought in for a gunshot wound¡± I tell the receptionist

    once I get to the front desk.

    ¡°Any rtion?¡± she asks.

    ¡°He¡¯s my father¡±

    She nods her head. ¡°Give me a minute.¡± She pauses while she types on herputer. ¡°Right, he is in

    the ER, getting prepped for surgery. Just go straight ahead, at the end you¡¯ll see the emergency door.

    You¡¯ll find your family there¡±

    ¡°Thanks¡±

    I turn around and follow her instruction. My heart beating with every step I take.

    ¡®He¡¯s going to be okay. He¡¯ll recover soon and go back to his old self¡¯ I whisper to myself.

    Despite our differences I wanted him to be well. He and I may not have a rtionship but he¡¯s loving

    towards Noah and that¡¯s all I can ever ask for.

    I push the door and enter. I immediately spot mother and Travis on the waiting chair. I school my

    features and approach them.

    ¡°Mother, Travis¡± I say as a way of greeting.

    They both look up at me. Mother¡¯s eyes are bloodshot from crying and her blue sundress is covered in

    blood. Travis¡¯ eyes are dry but you can still see how much this is affecting him. He was trying to keep it

    together for mother¡¯s sake.

    I take a sit next to her. ¡°What happened and how is he doing?¡±

    The question brings on about of fresh tears.

    ¡°He was shot twice on his way back from the store, right outside our house. I called the ambnce

    immediately and we brought him here. The doctors say one of the bullets pierced his lungs and the

    other his kidney. They¡¯re preparing him for surgery¡± her voice catches at the end.

    I nod my head. I want tofort her. To hug her, but I don¡¯t think my touch would be weed.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry. Father is the strongest man I know. He¡¯ll be okay¡± I try to reassure her.

    She doesn¡¯t say anything. Just continues to cry.

    Minutester they bring father out. He¡¯s dressed in a hospital gown and is lying on a hospital bed.

    Travis and mother immediately stand up and rush to his side.

    I stay seated. I¡¯m pretty sure my face is thest thing he wants to see. He would rather it be Emma¡¯s.

    I watch as mother cries over him. He weakly wipes her tears but they keep falling. He tells Travis

    something and Travis nods. His face etched in determination. Before they take him away, I see him

    hand over what looks like a paper to mother. This brings fresh tears running down her face.

    She kisses him and they wheel him away. Mother and Travise back and take their seats. We don¡¯t

    talk as we begin the long wait.

    I stand up, I pace, I sit back down. I get everyone coffee. As each minute passes, I grow more anxious

    and so do the rest. Two and half hourter, the doctores to the waiting.

    From the somber look on his face, I just know that father didn¡¯t make it. Mother senses the same thing

    because she starts hupping.

    ¡°He went into cardiac arrest, we tried everything we could, but we weren¡¯t able to save him. I¡¯m sorry

    for your loss¡± he says.

    The sound that tears out of mother¡¯s lips is animalistic. Full of pain and sorrow. Travis catches her

    before she falls and they both sink to the floor. Both crying at the loss.

    Father was dead and I knew that meant that Emma would have toe back

 Chapter 3

    Emma¡¯s back

    I sat on the cold hospital chair breathing in then out. Mother was still sobbing and she couldn¡¯t be

    consoled. My heart broke for her. I understand it isn¡¯t easy losing the man you love in such an

    unexpected way.

    It was still a shock. I expected him to make a full recovery but now he was dead and I had no idea how

    to feel.

    We never saw eye to eye and even though he hated me. I loved him. He was after all my father so how

    could I not love him?

    ¡°You okay?¡± Rowan asks sitting down beside me.

    He arrived about an hour ago and this is the first time he talked to me since he came. I didn¡¯t know

    what to do with the concern he was showing. After all he has never taken my feelings into

    consideration before.

    ¡°Yeah¡± I manage to say.

    I haven¡¯t shed a tear since we were given the news. Maybe it was bted shock or maybe I ran out of

    tears for him. Right now I was doing all I could to stay afloat since everyone else was breaking down.

    I see feet in my peripheral vision and when I look up I find Travis staring at me. Just like always there

    isn¡¯t a flicker of warmth in his eyes when he looks at me. I know what I did was a wrong but I haven¡¯t I

    paid enough for that night?

    ¡°What?¡± I ask him.

    ¡°Mom called Emma when dad got shot so she should be arriving soon. She still doesn¡¯t know that dad

    didn¡¯t make it¡± he says.

    I hear Rowan¡¯s sharp intake of air. That¡¯s the only indication I need to know that her name still affects

    him. The warmth he provided just a few minutes ago turns cold and I know that once again I¡¯ve lost

    him.

    ¡°I figured¡± I mumble because what else is there to say.

    I haven¡¯t spoken to her in years. I doubt she would want to be in the same vicinity as me given how

    much she hates me.

    ¡°I expect you to be cordial and give her space¡± mother adds, wiping the tears from her face.

    ¡°Mother, you know what you¡¯re asking me is nearly impossible¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t care what¡¯s possible or not. You ran my daughter off nine years ago with your betrayal. I won¡¯t

    let you do that again especially now that your father is no longer with us and we need each other¡± she

    says through clenched teeth.

    I hate how they keep throwing the past in my face. Haven¡¯t I already paid enough for the actions I took

    when I was young and foolish? Yet they keep punishing me.

    ¡°In case you¡¯ve forgotten I¡¯m also your daughter or am I also dead to you?¡±

    I don¡¯t give her the chance to answer. I stand up and leave. I needed fresh air. I needed to think.

    Once I¡¯m outside I breathe in the cold air. Tears sting my eyes but I refuse to let them fall. What am I

    even doing here? Why did she bother calling me if she feels like she only has one daughter?

    Part of me wants to walk away right now and never look back. After all, I never considered myself part

    of their family and they didn¡¯t consider me as one of their own too. I should just leave and forget about

    them just like they seem to have forgotten about me.

    ¡°Ma¡¯am are you James Sharp¡¯s daughter?¡± a nurse appears scaring the shit out of me.

    I nod my head after calming down my erratic beating heart.

    ¡°You¡¯re needed. They¡¯re viewing the body¡± she softly tells me, probably trying to be mindful of my

    feelings.

    ¡°Okay, just give me a minute¡±

    She leaves after that giving me the space to make my decision. Despite his neglect, he still provided for

    me so I owe him. With that, I make a decision. I would give him a proper burial, then after that I would

    wash my hands from them.

    They could be the perfect little family. They would no longer have to put up with me like they have been

    doing.

    Going back inside, I ask for the direction to the morgue. By the time I get there, the rest had already

    finished viewing his body.

    I look down at him. Lying cold in the b. He looks so at peace. Kind of like he does when he is asleep.

    You would think that he is just resting. Instead he was dead. His soul long departed from his body.

    ¡°Goodbye father¡± I tell him.

    I give him onest look before leaving the cold room. I shake off the heaviness that settles over my

    heart knowing he wasn¡¯t the only one I would be saying goodbye to. They would never love me. It was

    time I let go of that fantasy.

    I get to the waiting area and take the furthest seat. Mother was sorting out papers and bills. Travis was

    staring at the wall, looking lost and alone. Rowan was nowhere to be seen.

    Sitting there, I think of all I have to do. It would be nearly impossible to avoid them but I was

    determined. This is the only way I knew to protect my peace. I was tired of being constantly in pain.

    Tired of my heart constantly being wounded by those around me.

    I hear amotion near me and I look up. That¡¯s when I¡¯m hit with her sight. She¡¯s still as beautiful as

    ever. Long blonde hair, endless legs, heart shaped face and a S**y body that drives men crazy.

    Travis is hugging her. Whisperingforting words. Something he didn¡¯t do for me when I arrived. Just

    like always the longing and pain hits me, but I push it back.

    They separate just as Rowan arrives. The moment he sees her, his knees buckle. I can see the way his

    Adam¡¯s apple bobbles.

    ¡°Emma?¡± his word is chocked as he calls her name. So many emotions put on that one name.

    Her head swivels in his direction. The moment their eyes meet, everything else fades away. It¡¯s like

    nothing exists but the two of them. Quicker than the sh can move, they¡¯re in each other¡¯s arms.

    If I though seeing Travis hug Emma hurt then I had no idea how this would tear me apart. How it would

    destroy me.

    Emma was back. Seeing her in Rowan¡¯s arms, no one needed to tell me the truth that was always in

    my face. He was still madly in love with her even after all these years.

 Chapter 4

    Utterly broken

    Have you ever felt like your heart has been put in a mincer? That is how I feel right now looking at

    them. I feel like my heart has been shredded into pieces.

    If I could take the useless piece of organ and throw it away then I would. Because the pain that was

    tearing through me was unimaginable.

    I wanted to run away. To look away, but I couldn¡¯t. My eyes were fixed on them and no matter how I

    wanted to avert them it was like they were glued there. To the loving scene that was ying before me.

    I watch as they separate. Rowan¡¯s eyes soften as he stares at the love of his life. I continue to watch as

    he cups her face in his hands. He brings her closer to him. He doesn¡¯t kiss her, justys his forehead

    against hers.

    He looks peaceful. Like he¡¯s finally home after a long time. Like he was finally whole.

    ¡®I¡¯ve missed you¡¯ I read the words forming on his lips.

    I don¡¯t want to imagine what would be happening between them right now if they had met under a

    different circumstance. If they had met when we were still married. Would he have cheated on me?

    Part of me wants to deny that thought but I can¡¯t be sure. After all, this was Emma we were talking

    about. Rowan would go to hell and back for her sake.

    Unable to take it anymore. I stand up and rush outside.

    The moment I get outside the tears begin to fall. It fucking hurt and I didn¡¯t know how to numb or stop

    the pain. But who could I me? I was the one at fault for falling in love with a man that didn¡¯t belong to

    me.

    ¡°Please make it stop. Make the pain stop¡± I beg whichever higher power is there to listen to me.

    There is no answer though. No reprieve.

    My hands shoot to my chest. I feel my chest constricting. I couldn¡¯t get enough air into my lungs no

    matter what I tried. I felt like I was slowly dying. Slowly fading.

    ¡°This is what happens when you want a man that doesn¡¯t belong to you¡± his mocking voice prates

    the fog.

    ¡°What do you want Travis¡­if you¡¯re here to mock me or warn me to stay away from your precious little

    sister then you can walk your ass back to the hospital where your family is. There is nothing here for

    you¡± I wipe my tear stained eyes and put my mask back in ce.

    I won¡¯t let him see me cry. I won¡¯t give them the chance to see me break.

    He¡¯s surprised at my words. The shock is etched on his face. I guess he never expected me to talk

    back at him.

    ¡°I was just making sure you to understand that Rowan always belonged to Emma. Your selfishness

    took him away from her but now they can be together. I hope you won¡¯t get in the way of their

    happiness. They¡¯re long overdue¡±

    I let out a sarcasticugh.

    ¡°Oh don¡¯t worry, I won¡¯t get in anyone¡¯s way ever again. After this, none of you will have to see or put

    up with me anymore¡± I mumble bitterly.

    He stares at me. His brows pinched in confusion. ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    I was tired and all I wanted was to go to sleep and forget this day ever happened. I¡¯ll cry myself to sleep

    then wake up feeling refreshed and ready to face the next few days.

    ¡°Tell mother I¡¯ll be by to help with burial preparations, that¡¯s if she even wants my help. And tell your

    sister I said Hi¡±

    With that, I walk away. Heading towards my car. I can hear Travis calling my name but I don¡¯t bother to

    turn around. I just wanted to go home and break apart in peace.

    I get into my car and drive home. Rowan told me that Noah was with his mother. I didn¡¯t want to deal

    yet with another person that hated my guts. He was safe, so I¡¯ll just pick him tomorrow.

    I get home in record time. Being there alone just reminded me how truly alone I am. I have no one to

    comfort me or look after me. No one to love me. I have absolutely no one except for Noah.

    Fresh tears start falling down my face.

    I¡¯m so tired of crying yet I can¡¯t seem to stop. If only I could go back in time and change things. Maybe

    right now I would be married to a man that actually loves me.

    But that¡¯s the things about the past. Once it¡¯s happened, you can never change it.

    It¡¯s three days since father died and everyone is in turmoil. It came as shock to everyone. He was a

    well known and loved man. So everyone was feeling his loss.

    I haven¡¯t seen Rowan since that day. He has called though multiple times but I ignored his calls. He

    was probably all loved up and in Emma¡¯s arms right now. She has probably even moved in with him

    already. I didn¡¯t need him rubbing that in my face.

    Shaking those bitter thoughts, I focus on zipping my ck dress.

    ¡°Mommy?¡± Noah¡¯s voicees from behind me.

    I turn to find him with tears in his eyes. I kneel down so that I am on eye level with him.

    ¡°What is it my love?¡± I ask him.

    ¡°I miss him so much. We were supposed to go fishing with this Saturday¡± his voice catches and my

    heart breaks at his pain.

    James Sharp may have been a terrible father to me but he was a great grandfather to my son.

    I hug Noah to my chest and whisperforting words as his tears soaked my dress.

    ¡°I know that you miss him but he is with angels now and he will always look after you from above.

    Remember he can never be truly gone because he lives in here¡­¡± I touch his chest. ¡°And here¡± I touch

    his head.

    ¡°Besides, he wouldn¡¯t want you crying. Do you want to make him sad?¡± I gently ask and he shakes his

    head.

    ¡°Good, here is what we¡¯re going to do. Instead of being sad, we¡¯re going to remember all the wonderful

    memories we had with him, okay?¡±

    I have very few good memories with him but Noah had a lot. I was going to help him hold tight to those.

    ¡°Okay¡±

    I wipe the tears from his face and stand up. Picking my purse, I hold out my hand out for him. He takes

    it and looks up at me.

    ¡°Now, let¡¯s go give you grandpa a proper sendoff¡±

    He gives me a small smile and with that we leave. It was time to say goodbye.

 Chapter 5

    Shoot out

    Nothing about the day spelled disaster. The sun was shining and everything seemed to be well in ce

    as I drove down the familiar streets.

    The chapel was fully packed when we arrived. Almost everyone hade to pay theirst respects.

    I surveyed the ce and was satisfied to see everything was in ce. None of the others had been

    much help when it came to the burial preparation. I was the one that was left to shoulder the weight of

    everything.

    I didn¡¯tin though. I took it as a chance for me to reciprocate what he¡¯d done for me. After all, he

    had fed me, clothed me and put a room over my head.

    The service was about to begin and most people were already seated. I decided to sit on the opposite

    side. It didn¡¯t feel right sitting with the rest. It especially didn¡¯t feel right sitting next to Emma.

    ¡°Mom, why are we sitting here¡­shouldn¡¯t we sit next to grandma?¡± Noah asks, pointing at where the

    others were.

    Of course we were getting weird looks but I didn¡¯t care. After all, it wasn¡¯t a secret that I wasn¡¯t wholly

    epted by the family after everything that happened.

    ¡°Most people are already seated. I don¡¯t want us to cause a fracas¡± I lie.

    He looks like he doesn¡¯t believe me but choses to let it go. The father arrives and the sermon begins

    just as I feel someone sit next to me.

    I tense. I would know his presence and cologne anywhere. I don¡¯t know what he was doing seated

    here. He should be with his precious Emma. In fact I would prefer if he were there.

    Damn I sound bitter. Which I was. Bitter, angry and hurt.

    ¡°Dad¡± Noah whisper yells, which causes a few people to turn and look at us.

    I glower at them making them turn back around.

    ¡°Can I sit between the two of you?¡± Noah whispers to me.

    I breathe a sigh of relief. Thank goodness for small miracles. I wouldn¡¯t have to be near his suffocating

    presence.

    Stealthy moving us, I¡¯m able to switch seats with him. The moment we do, I feel the tension ease up a

    little.

    ¡°We all must leave this world one day, the question is how will you leave it? Will you have made a

    difference? Changed it and touched the lives of those that you met along the way? Or will you leave it

    with regrets?¡± the preacher possess the question.

    I can¡¯t help but think about it. If I were to die today, who will attend my burial? Will those around me

    even care? Whom am I kidding? They wouldn¡¯t. They would probably hold a celebratory feast. The only

    one who will be affected by my death will be Noah. Just him and no one else.

    It¡¯s honestly sad. The life I have. I don¡¯t have any friends mostly because I hold myself back. Living

    under the perfect shadow that was Emma nailed in the fact that I can never be good enough for

    anyone. I wasn¡¯t as beautiful as she was. S**y as she was. Smart as she was. Loved as she was. I

    wasn¡¯t perfect as Emma was. I was nothingpared to her.

    Even now when we¡¯re older, I¡¯m still in her shadow. No one sees my pain or suffering. It¡¯s all about

    Emma. Her pain is bigger than mine. Her happiness is a priority over mine. She alwayses first in

    everyone¡¯s mind while I¡¯m left chasing after leftovers of their affection.

    ¡°Mommy¡± Noah¡¯s voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

    It¡¯s then I realize that the service was over and everyone was leaving.

    ¡°Ava, you okay?¡± his deep voice always makes me shiver.

    I don¡¯t want to talk to him let alone look at him but I¡¯ll have to because for the next ten years we¡¯ll be

    sharing Noah¡¯s custody.

    Shrugging my shoulders I stand up, without looking at him. I know it seems rude but I just can¡¯t look at

    him. Not when the memory of him staring lovingly at Emma is still fresh in my mind.

    ¡°Come on Noah, let¡¯s go¡±

    He jumps up and we walk towards the door. Once we¡¯re outside we¡¯re bombarded by a crowd of people

    wanting to give us their condolences. I spot some of my colleagues and wave at them.

    We hadn¡¯t buried father yet and I was already drained.

    ¡°So you¡¯ve finally decided to show your face¡± Emma¡¯s bitter voice says behind me.

    I turn around to face her. Her face was blotchy and her eyes were red and puffy, but she still looked like

    a freaking goddess.

    I sigh. I so didn¡¯t want to face her right now.

    ¡°Not now Emma. Can we just bury father first?¡±

    She smiles then leans in so that I¡¯m the only one that can hear her.

    ¡°We will bury him alright but let me tell you that I am here to stay. You also took my family from me all

    those years ago but no more. I n to take everything back, including the man that was meant to be

    mine¡± she then steps aside and leaves just as the preacher calls us to go to back where the cemetery

    is.

    Noah looks between me and the departing back of my sister but doesn¡¯t say anything. I¡¯m left shocked

    at her words but not really surprised.

    What she doesn¡¯t understand is that she doesn¡¯t have to take anything back because none of them

    were mine to begin with. The family she¡¯s talking about worships the ground she walks one. And

    Rowan? Rowan was and still is her man.

    Pushing down the pain that wanted to drown me, I lead Noah to the ce that would be father¡¯s final

    resting ce.

    I stand a little distance from mother, Emma and Travis. They¡¯re huddled together. Looking at them and

    me you would think that I was a stranger just attending the burial instead of part of them.

    ¡°Dust to dust¡­¡± the preacher says as they lower father¡¯s body to the ground.

    They then begin to cover his coffin with soil until he ispletely buried. Mother¡¯s wails are the loudest

    as she begs for father toe back to her. Emma and Travis both have silent tears running down their

    faces as they hold her in their arms.

    Ifort Noah. Hugging him as he cries beside me. Seeing him like this brings tears to my eyes. I hate

    seeing him in pain. I wipe my tears away. I need to be strong for him. He needs me now.

    Once again people flood us to offer their condolences. I ept them mindlessly. It was like I was there

    but wasn¡¯t at the same time. By the time Ie out of it, most people were already dispersed.

    ¡°Mom, there is pa and ma¡± he drags me pointing to Rowan¡¯s parents.

    They were there with Rowan and his twin brother Gabriel.

    I stand awkwardly as he greets them. They look at me in passing but don¡¯t say anything. We both know

    that I wasn¡¯t their choice for their son.

    ¡°Can I get snacks with them?¡± Noah asks and I nod.

    He hasn¡¯t eaten in hours so he was hungry. Once they leave, we are left standing awkwardly beside

    each other. Now that his focus wasn¡¯t upied by Noah, it was solely on Emma who was standing a

    few feet from us.

    I was about to excuse myself when I hear a screeching of tires. Everything happened so fast. Men with

    guns opened fire. The minute they started shooting I saw Rowan dive for Emma.

    I stood shocked as I watched him protect her with his body.

    I can¡¯t believe he abandoned me to protect her. Why was I even surprised? This just proved that I¡¯ll

    never be his priority. Seeing him protect her with his lifepletely broke something inside me.

    ¡°Watch out!¡± A man with a bullet proof jacket shouted at me.

    He pushed me out of the way, but it was already toote. Something pierced my skin and I fell from the

    impact of the hit. My breath knocked out of me.

    ¡°Someone call an ambnce¡± he knelt down next to me and put pressure on the wound.

    I was confused, dizzy and in pain. I went to tell him I was okay but then I saw blood soaking my dress

    and his hands. I hated the sight blood.

    ¡°Oh god¡­Noah¡± I whispered.

    He was myst thought right before everything faded into darkness.

 Chapter 6

    A new version

    Rowan

    There is something that happens inside you when you see your ex¨Cwife, the mother of your son, shot

    and bleeding on the cold cemetery ground. Something I never thought I would feel towards Ava. 1

    When I saw the men with guns pointing at us, I didn¡¯t fucking think. I knew Noah was safe with my

    parents so my instincts took over and I dived for Emma. I would die for her and I was prepared to do

    just that..

    I was relieved when the shooters ran after seeing the police but my relief was short lived when one of

    the officers shouted for an ambnce. I turned around wondering who was hurt, only I didn¡¯t expect it

    to be Ava and seeing her hurt almost brought me to my knees.

    It was a flurry of events after that. The ambnce arrived and the officer refused to let Ava go until he

    made sure she was safely in the able arms of the doctor.

    I was pissed at his reluctance to let her go, she was my wife, I mean ex¨Cwife but more importantly I

    was pissed at myself. I should have protected her. If something worse had happened to Ava, how

    would I have exined it to Noah? How would I justify the fact that I had failed to protect his mother?

    So here I was pacing back and forth in the waiting room. So fucking worried because we hadn¡¯t gotten

    a word since Ava was rushed to the emergency room. No one hade out to inform us of the

    prognosis.

    ¡°Please let her be okay¡± Kate, her mother whispered.

    This is the first time I¡¯ve heard any emotion in her voice when she talked about Ava I guess losing her

    husband and then almost losing her daughter softened her a bit.

    We were all here with the exception of Noah Travis was seated next to Kate who was next to

    Emma

    I sat down unable to control the anxiety inside me. I needed her to be okay for Noah¡¯s sake. I kept

    telling myself

    I don¡¯t know fo

    ow long we were waiting, but when I looked up I saw Ava. She was over at the nurse¡¯s station handing

    off papers. Her left arm was in a sling as she took her credit card and put it in her bag.

    With difficulty, she managed to get out her phone, while still holding her bag. You could see that it

    wasn¡¯t an easy task by the frown on her face.

    ¡°Ava¡± I called as she was about to walk past us. Her eyes still on her phone.

    She looked up. I immediately noticed that something about her was different. I couldn¡¯t ce my

    finger on it but it was there.

    ¡°What are you doing here, did someone else get hurt?¡± she asked. Her voice t and devoid of any

    emotion.

    ¡°How are you doing?¡± her mom asked instead of replying.

    ¡°Unfortunately for you, I¡¯m not dead yet¡±

    Her answer took everyone by surprise. Not only because of how she worded, but because of how cold

    it was.

    I decide to cut in. ¡°Where are you going¡±

    ¡°Home¡± was her only answer.

    ¡°Your hand is in a sling, you can¡¯t drive¡± I reason.

    ¡°That¡¯s why I called an Uber¡±

    ¡°Ava we need to talk. It¡¯s about you father¡± Kate whispers making Ava turn to her mother.

    There was something missing. I could see it in her eyes.

    Coldly she stared at her mother. ¡°I don¡¯t see what that has to do with me, thest time I checked,

    he didn¡¯t consider me his daughter¡±

    A sob tore from her mother¡¯s throat but Ava doesn¡¯t pay any attention to her. It¡¯s like she had.

    switched off all her feelings leaving nothing behind but a cruel familiarity.

    She moved towards the door but then stopped. ¡°Where is my son?¡±

    ¡°At mom¡¯s house¡± Travis answered. His eyes drilling into her.

    She sighed. ¡°Looks like you¡¯ll get that talk after all¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll drive you¡± I offered

    This earns me a frown from Emma but she¡¯s got to understand. No matter my difference with Ava,

    she was still Noah¡¯s mother and she is hurt. Not forgetting that she was my wife.

    Surprisingly Ava turns me down. ¡°No need. I¡¯ll use the Uber like I had nned and meet you there¡±

    Without saying anything else, she turned and left. We stare at the ce she just stood a moment.

    ago. Usy, she would jump at any opportunity to be close to me. So we were all surprised that

    she rejected my offer.

    ¡°Let¡¯s go before she gets home and leaves before we¡¯ve had the chance to talk¡± Kate says softly. Her

    voice still sad.

    We drove here together, so we all jump into my Cadic Escde and drive off. Breaking every speed

    limit, we get to Kate¡¯s house just in time to see Ava closing the door behind her.

    I park the car and get out. Getting inside the house we find my parents, Gabe and Ava who was

    basically ignoring them. It was weird seeing this side of her. Most of the time she would try to make

    small talk with them even when they snubbed her.

    ¡°Can we just get this over with¡± she says in irritation as she takes a seat.

    ¡°James came to me with a business proposal that he wanted to partner with me. I agreed because I

    thought it was a good investment¡± I began.

    ¡°We signed the required documents thinking this was a solidpany. It waster that we realized that

    thepany belonged to a criminal gang. Neither James nor I wanted anything illegal to touch our

    companies. We knew that it would be inevitable if we continued with them so we found a way to

    terminate the contract, and reported them to the police¡±

    ¡°Okaaay¡± Ava dragged the word, her brows were furrowed as if she was confused about where this

    was heading to.

    I sigh, already feeling drained by the events of today. ¡°Turns out the gang members were among the

    most wanted, they didn¡¯t take it well that we had ousted them so they went into hiding. We thought that

    since the police were involved they would keep their distance¡±

    Kate took it from there. ¡°They started threatening your father. They promised to make him pay then

    came after his wife and children. They med him because he was the one that had approached them

    even though he didn¡¯t they were involved in illegal business. We thought that they were bluffing with

    their threats that¡¯s until they gunned down your dad¡±

    Travis, Gabe and my parents already knew. I look at Emma to find shock and fear etched on her

    features. I then turn to Ava and the same dead and cold look is still on her face.

    ¡°I don¡¯t see how any of this has to do with me¡± her voice is cool as she looks at us. Her eyes piercing

    us like shards of ice.

    She stands up. ¡°I¡¯m going to take Noah and leave¡±

    ¡°Damn it Ava, you¡¯re not taking this seriously¡± I say through gritted teeth.

    Didn¡¯t she know what this meant? How much danger she was in. How¡® things today could¡¯ve have

    ended with us nning her funeral next?

    ¡°I am and like I said I don¡¯t see how this involves me¡±

    Travis growled portraying the same frustration I was feeling. ¡°You were shot today shouldn¡¯t that tell

    you something?¡±

    She res at him. ¡°All it tells me is that I was in the right ce at the wrong time¡±

    ¡°Ava¡­¡± Kate goes to speak but Ava cuts her off.

    ¡°No. They were after the three of you, not me. Everyone in this damn city knows that none of you

    considers me part of this family, so what¡¯s the use of going after someone he wouldn¡¯t care one bit

    if she died?¡±

    Her words cut through the air leaving us.cold. This was so unlike her. What the hell?

    She turns to look at me. Her eyes are devoid of any emotion. It¡¯s like she was dead on the inside.

    Something about the way she looked at me bothered me. I hated that I couldn¡¯t see any emotion in

    her eyes

    ¡°If there¡¯s someone you should worry about, someone whose safety should be your priority then. it¡¯s

    the woman beside you. She was his perfect little princess, so stop dragging me in whatever

    mess he created¡± she pauses then faces the rest. Staring each and every one down

    ¡°Stop you fake ass concern. I don¡¯t fucking need it and if it turns out I¡¯m danger I will deal with it by

    myself. I¡¯d rather die than ept any of your protection¡± she finishes in revulsion.

    Her mother gasps and we stare at her in surprise. Unable to recognize the woman standing before

    us. Kate looks like Ava has just pped her.Emma springs up and stares her down, trying to intimidate

    her. In the past Ava would have

    backed down but not this time.

    ¡°Stop being such a little bitch, just like always you want everything to be about you¡± she seethes

    making Avaugh tonelessly. 2

    ¡°I don¡¯t know which hole you¡¯ve been hiding dear sister but nothing is ever about me. It¡¯s always you

    but that¡¯s not what we¡¯re discussing right now. I¡¯ve lived without these people¡¯s protection for as long as

    I can remember, I don¡¯t know why they¡¯re all of a sudden interested in my safety. It¡¯s fake and I¡¯d rather

    not have fake people around me¡­Now if you¡¯ll excuse me, I need to go home¡±

    She turned and ignored Emma and the rest of us like we didn¡¯t even exist. I couldn¡¯t believe the words

    that left her mouth. She talked about us like we were fucking strangers to her. Like we

    were nothing to her.

    ¡°Noah¡± she shouted and secondster we heard footsteps running. Soon, my son appeared in the

    living room.

    His gasp of shock as he stared at his mother made me feel like scum.

    ¡°Mommy, what happened to your arm?¡± he asked running and hugging her.

    She gives him a one armed hug ¡°Nothing my love, just hit my arm on the door and the doctor bad

    to set it right¡±

    She caresses his cheek lovingly. The hard and cold lookpletely gone as she stares at our son

    ¡°Does it hurt?¡±

    ¡°Just a little but I¡¯ll be fine, nowe on, let¡¯s go home so we can eat ice cream and cuddle¡±

    This brings a big beautiful smile to Noah¡¯s lips. His face lighting up at his mother¡¯s words.

    Ava tries to carry his bag pack but Noah stops him

    ¡°I got it I¡¯m a big boy now. You¡¯ll see, when we get home I will take care of you and kiss your pain

    away like you always do with me¡±

    ¨C

    Ava smiles. Her smile transforming her whole face Melting the ice that had encased it. We all gaze at

    the mother son interaction Unable to pull our eyes from the adoration they have for

    each other.

    ¡°Is that woman your sister?¡± Noah throws curious looks towards Emma

    ¡°No. I don¡¯t have a sister¡± she replied then said something else under her breath. ¡°And neither do I

    have a family¡±

    I don¡¯t think we were meant to hear thatst part but we did if I was to go by the sharp intakes of

    air. I turn to Noah, wondering if he heard what Ava said but it seemed he didn¡¯t because he was

    waving at me.

    ¡°Bye dad¡±

    ¡°Bye kiddo¡± I replied hoarsely.

    He bid goodbye to the rest and then they were gone.

    We were left in silence each of us lost in thought. I continued staring at the door, confused on

    what the heck just happened. Her detached treatment unsettled something inside me. Pulling at

    unknown strings deep within me.

    This was a side of Ava that I¡¯ve never seen. A side that was foreign to all of me and I didnt fucking

    like it.

 Chapter 7

    Dead man

    Ava

    I wake up with a stiff back and an aching arm. I am in bed with Noah since he refused to leave me

    after we finished watching TV. I smile when I remembered him saying that he was taking his job

    seriously and that he would take care of me throughout the night.

    With a bit of difficulty. I manage to move him without waking him up. It was around eight and I needed

    to prepare breakfast before he woke up.

    After doing my morning routine, I went downstairs I stood outside the kitchen for a while wondering how

    I was going to manage making breakfast with one arm.

    As I moved to get the ingredients needed for pancakes, memories of yesterday flooded my mind.

    Everything that happened seemed so surreal that part of me wonder if it had happened. If it wasn¡¯t for

    the fact that my shoulder was bandaged and my arm was in sling, I would have thought it was all a bad

    dream..

    When I woke up in the hospital after I fainted I panicked. It took both the doctor and nurse to calm.

    me down and reassure me that everything was okay. She told me that the bullet was lodged in my

    shoulder but it hadn¡¯t done any serious damage. I was lucky because ording to them if it had hit

    lower then it would have struck my heart.

    They removed the bullet, cleaned the wound, stitched me up and then put my arm in the sling I was

    given antibiotics and pain meds. They instructed me to keep my arm elevated till my next appointment.

    As I cooked the pancakes, I thought about the man that tried to save me. I made a ment*l note to find

    out who he is so I could thank him. He was the only one that looked out for me when my

    family couldn¡¯t care less if I was safe or not.

    My thoughts are interrupted when a knock sounds on my door, making me wonder who it was.

    I highly doubted there was anyone I wanted to see right now. The events of yesterday soured my

    feelings towards the people I once considered family.

    I walk to the door and gently open it. I¡¯m surprised to find the man from yesterday standing on my

    doorstep. The first thing I notice is his blue eyes. They were the bluest eyes I¡¯ve ever seen.

    I hadn¡¯t noticed this yesterday. Probably because I was in shock and in pain, but the man was

    really good looking. He was at least six feet tall, muscr but not in a body builder type of way, a

    strong jaw and a wlessplexion. His dark brown hair was tousled in a S**y way and his

    confidence demanded attention.

    ¡°Hey¡± I croaked out sounding like a smoker.

    He smiled at me and I was struck by how beautiful it was. ¡°Hey, can Ie in?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, sure¡± I said stepping out of the way.

    He gets in and I close the door behind him. I watch him as he studies my house.

    ¡°Nice home¡± he says in a deep voice.

    ¡°Thank you¡± I mumbled. ¡°I made some pancakes, would you like some?¡±

    He nods his head and I lead him to the kitchen. Before I can go back to making breakfast, he stops me,

    making me turn to face him.

    ¡°We haven¡¯t been formally introduced, I¡¯m Ethan¡± he gently grabs my hand, turns it around and

    kisses it.

    For some reason I feel flushed. I wasn¡¯t used to this kind of attention and charm from men. I was

    the one that was always looked over. The boring and unattractive sister.

    ¡°I-I¡¯m Ava¡± I stammered.

    ¡°I already know that, beautiful¡± he says giving me a wink while taking a seat at the kitchen ind

    I give an awkwardugh because I didn¡¯t know how to behave. He oozed masculine energy and it was

    directed at me. I¡¯ve never been in such as spot before. It was so disconcerting

    ¡°So Ethan, with nost name¡­what were you doing at my father¡¯s burial?¡± I asked while cing a cup

    of coffee before serving him a te of pancakes.

    I take my own te and cup and sit next to him. He chuckles as he looks at me.

    ¡°A threat had been reported and given your father was dead because of that threat, the chief wanted us

    on the look at incase the same people tried anything with the mourning family¡± he says right before he

    takes a bite.

    ¡°So you¡¯re an officer? I¡¯ve never seen you before and I know almost everyone.¡±

    ¡°Yes I¡¯m an officer¡­.I just moved here a couple of months back. I¡¯ve been swamped with work so I

    haven¡¯t had much time to mingle¡± he replies after swallowing.

    I smile at him. ¡°Well you can consider me one of your friends¡­I was wondering how to find you

    just this morning actually.¡±

    ¡°What for?¡±

    ¡°To thank you for saving my life. I don¡¯t remember everything but I remember you putting

    pressure on the wound and shouting for an ambnce¡±

    I also remember the way that he rushed towards me. I actually believe that if he hadn¡¯t pushed

    ¡°I was just doing my job, besides it¡¯s not every day you get to have a beautiful woman in your arms

    even though she faints at the sight of her own blood¡± he teases giving me another dashing smile.

    Blood rushes to my cheeks. Iugh, trying to hide my embarrassment. By the way he behaves I just

    know he¡¯s a charmer. It¡¯s obvious with his smiles and winks. He¡¯s also a breath of fresh air. Something I

    haven¡¯t had in my life in quite a while.

    ¡°And what brought you to my doorstep and how did you know where I live?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m an officer remember? It was easy to find you As to why I¡¯m here, I wanted to make sure you were

    okay. I wasn¡¯t able to stay with you yesterday because I was called in to give a report. I went back to

    the hospital and was told you had been discharged. I didn¡¯t think it would be appropriateing to your

    house at night¡±

    I¡¯m struck to be honest. This stranger had shown more care andpassion to me than anyone else

    around me has ever shown me my entire life. With the exception of Noah of course. I didn¡¯t know what

    to do with that because I wasn¡¯t used to it.

    ¡°Thank you¡± I say slowly emotions clogging my throat.

    He gazes at me strangely but I ignore the look and change the subject.

    From there we talk and eat. It was weird that I waspletelyfortable around him, though he was

    a stranger. I couldn¡¯t remember being this rxed around anyone but Noah.

    Around forty minutester he leaves. We exchange numbers but I¡¯m doubtful he¡¯ll ever call or text

    even though I had a wonderful time. I was just not the type of woman men text back or look for their

    company a second time.

    I was just cleaning our tes when there was another knock. Noah had yet to wake up and I was

    in no rush to wake him.

    ¡°Did you forget something?¡± I asked opening the door.

    My emotions shut down when I realize that it was Rowan and not Ethan. Seeing his face just brought a

    rush of pain. Remembering how he abandoned me to save his precious Emma brought a

    bitter taste to my mouth.

    There was no denying that I meant nothing to him. Yesterday just showed me the extent of his

    disregard and hate towards me. I push the hurt and pain away. Locking them together with the love I

    had for him in the deepest and darkest parts of my soul.

    Rowan was dead to me and I didn¡¯t have to love a dead man.

 Chapter 8

    Rowan.

    I see the moment she shuts her emotions down. The moment the warm look she had just a few seconds ago turns cold. Which leaves me cold.

    ¡°What are you doing here?¡± Ava asks her voice monotonous as I push my way into her house.

    It¡¯s like she was talking to a stranger. Like I was nothing but a speck of dust and nothing more. I stare at her unable toe up with anything. I¡¯ve lived with this woman for almost a decade and yet right now I can¡¯t find the right words.

    I look at her hand still in a sling. I came to check up on her and also to pick Noah. It was the weekend so it was my time with him.

    Remembering the man that I saw leaving, my brows furrow. He must be who the smile was for.

    That little piece of realization makes my jaw clench.

    ¡°What was he doing here?¡± I ask instead of answering while trying to hide the unreasonable anger

    I was feeling.

    I get the guy is an officer and that he saved her life but he was crossing a line. I didn¡¯t F***ing like him and I didn¡¯t want him anywhere near Ava.

    ¡°That¡¯s none of your business¡± she retorts.

    ¡°It is my business when you¡¯re entertaining.men this early in the morning with my son in the house¡­.did he sleep over? Is that why I saw him leaving?¡±

    The thought of that leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Thest thing I want is for her to be exposing Noah to men months after we separated. It wouldn¡¯t leave a good impression on the type of woman she is.

    She gives a humorlessugh, pulling me back to the present.

    ¡°It¡¯s not any of your F***ing business¡­do you see me meddling in your life while you¡¯re busy entertaining Emma? And isn¡¯t it hypocritical of you to stand there judging me?¡±

    I re at her. ¡°Emma is different¡±

    ¡°How so?¡± she first feigns puzzlement and then her face lights up as if she figured out something. but I know it¡¯s mockery. ¡°Oh, I forgot she¡¯s the love of your F***ing life¡±

    I grind my teeth She was starting to piss me off. What the hell was wrong with her? It¡¯s like she has something against me.

    ¡°I¡¯ll never do anything that would affect Noah but I¡¯m a single woman and I will have whoever!

    Beside I¡¯m bound to start dating I¡¯m not nning to stay single forever¡±

    My hands clench into fists at thest part. For some reason heat starts rising up in my core making me want to hit something or someone.

    She turns and leaves me in the hallway. I take time to breathe in and calm myself. I follow the sounds of pans banging while I survey her house.

    In all honesty I¡¯ve never been here. It looked different from the house we shared So very different that I was momentarily left speechless.

    I shake myself from those thoughts and continue walking. I find her in the kitchen wiping down the counter.

    She looks up, ring at me. ¡°I had hoped you would leave. In case you haven¡¯t guessed it, your presence is unwanted.¡±

    Damn it. Why is it that everything out of her mouth these past few days is nothing but pure venom? It¡¯s like all she wants is to strike at me and her family.

    ¡°It¡¯s the weekend Ava, I came for Noah¡± I grow!

    ¡°Well he is not awake yet and you could have done what you always do Honk You didn¡¯t have toe in¡±

    I take a seat on one of the barstools She frowns at me and opens her mouth to speak I was sure she was about to say something that would probably piss me off so I cut her off

    ¡°That¡¯s okay I can wait for him while we talk¡±

    Her frowns deepens, and she fists the dish towel in her small hands.

    ¡°But that¡¯s the thing Rowan, we have nothing to talk about As long as we follow the terms of the custody agreement then we can live like the other doesn¡¯t exist *

    I sigh Why was she so stubborn and difficult all of a sudden? It was getting on my F***ing nerves Where the F*** was the agreeable and subdued woman I was used to?

    ¡°Isn¡¯t this what you wanted? For me to be out of your life¡± she asks

    "I pinch the bridge of my nose in frustration ¡°I¡¯m not the one who asked for a divorce¡±

    I don¡¯t know what the hell has gotten into her but I was beginning to regreting into her house. It seems all she wants to do is light. I wasnt in the F***ing mood. Not when I was supposed to meet with kantater on in the day.

    True but that doesn¡¯t mean you didn¡¯t want it and look, it came at the perfect time, just when Empiaes back to town Now you can be with her the you¡¯ve always wanted¡± she says bifted.

    I know it¡¯s always a sour subject but I never lied to her. Never led her on. She knew that Emma always had my heart and if it wasn¡¯t for the mistake nine years ago, then she is the one that would have been my wife.

    ¡°What do you want me to say? You know I never lied to you. You always knew I loved her.¡±

    She throws the dishtowel down angrily. ¡°That didn¡¯t stop you from using my b*dy did it? Gosh I hate you. I don¡¯t know what I saw in you to begin with. I don¡¯t know why I wasted so much of my time and energy on you¡±

    I grind my teeth at her words. Her words angering me. Yes we did sleep together during our marriage but it was just to scratch an itch. I took vows and despite the fact I didn¡¯t love her. I wasn¡¯t going to break them by cheating on her.

    ¡°I¡¯m not here to talk about the past, I¡¯m here to talk about Noah¡± I say changing the topic.

    It was draining going round and round. I needed to say what I came here to say then leave before I said or did something I would regretter.

    Noah¡¯s name gets her attentions. She doesn¡¯t fire back. Instead she opens one of the cabs and takes out a bottle of medicine. Uncapping it using one hand, she pops two pills into her mouth and swallows.

    Reading thebel, I realize it¡¯s pain medication.

    ¡°How¡¯s the arm?¡± I ask.

    ¡°You came here to talk, so talk Rowan¡­ we both know you don¡¯t care about me so quite with the fake concern¡± she snaps.

    I clench my hand and all but yell. ¡°Damn it Ava!¡±

    ¡°What? I¡¯m just stating the truth. Are you going to talk? If not you can leave. I¡¯ll text you when

    Noah is wakes up¡±

    She stands up and goes to leave but I clump my hand around her uninjured hand. She immediately wrenches her hand from me as if my touch burned her.

    ¡°Don¡¯t touch me!¡± she snarls.

    Iraise my hand. Damn it! Is this how she was going to behave from now on? Are we forever going to be at each other¡¯s throats? We had a son for F***¡¯s sake.

    ¡°This childish behavior is one of the reasons why I always preferred Emma. Why I fell in love with her¡± I ground out, my temper getting the better of me.

    Her face twists. Her eyes growing colder than I could ever thought possible.

    ¡°Say what you came to say then get out of my F***ing house. I won¡¯t have you insulting me andparing me to Emma. My behavior doesn¡¯t concern you, we are divorced¡­so if you want to give lectures on anyone about behaviors go give them to the love of your life¡±

    I don¡¯t say anything for a while. We re at each other. Each one refusing to back down. Looks like she finally grew a backbone.

    ¡°Look I¡¯m sorry¡± I concede.¡±

    She¡¯s F***ing right. I shouldn¡¯t have said that. I shouldn¡¯t havepared her to Emma.

    We couldn¡¯t be fighting. It would affect Noah seeing us at each other¡¯s throat. It would hurt him and I couldn¡¯t have that.

    ¡°You can take that st* pid apology of yours and shove up it up¡­¡±

    I cut her off warningly. ¡°Ava¡­¡±

    ¡°Fine¡­what did you want to talk about, hurry up I don¡¯t have a lot of time¡± she gives me a devious smirk. ¡°Since I¡¯m busy entertaining men¡± she throws my words back at me.

    I groan but ignore her.

    ¡°Your mom and my parents will be going into witness protection because of the case with the criminal gang. I want Noah to go with them¡±

    She turns serious. ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Because I yed a part in reporting them and sinking their business. I also got threats from them. and they know my weakness is Noah¡­¡±

    ¡°And Emma, let¡¯s not forget your precious darling¡± she interrupts me. Her voice dripping with sarcasm and disgust.

    I ran my hand through my hair in frustration. Heaven¡¯s knows it¡¯s been a trying morning and Ava is hell bent on pushing my F***ing buttons.

    Ignoring her I continue. ¡°Seeing as your father is already dead because of this, I can¡¯t risk Noah getting hurt¡±

    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you tell me this yesterday?¡±

    ¡°You left before we could tell you everything¡± I point out.

    ¡°For how long will he be gone?¡±

    ¡°Till the threat has been eliminated and the culprits caught¡±

    She nods her head and sighs. ¡°When will he be leaving?¡±

    ¡°The day after tomorrow¡±

    I can see she doesn¡¯t want to be parted from Noah But she also knows that this is the only way to make sure he is safe. One thing we had inmon was our love for him. We would both do anything for him.

    ¡°Okay. I¡¯ll start packing for him. You¡¯ll spend the today with him and I¡¯ll spend tomorrow with him. I think that¡¯s fair¡±

    ¡°Alright then¡± I agree.

    She then leaves to go and wake up our son. It¡¯s as I was waiting for them that I realized what had been missing in Ava¡¯s eyes since yesterday

    The love that used to shine in her eyes when she looked at me waspletely gone.

    There wasn¡¯t anything there anymore. In fact, she now looked at me like I always looked at her. With nothing but resentment.

 Chapter 9

    Ava

    ¡°I still don¡¯t understand why I have to go. Why can¡¯t I just stay here with you?¡± Noahins. A frown marring his handsome face.

    He¡¯s been sore about this whole thing since I told him that he¡¯ll be leaving with his grandparents. At first he was excited about it but then he became saddened when he realized that neither I nor his father would be joining him.

    His school had been understanding of our situation His teacher even agreed to send lessons to mother so that he isn¡¯t left too behind.

    ¡°I already told you baby, this is a grandparents¨Cgrandson kind of vacation¡­it¡¯s just for you and you grandparents.¡±

    After talking to the chief he assured me that they¡¯ll be sent somewhere tropical.

    ¡°You¡¯re going to a beach. Haven¡¯t you been begging us to take you for a vacation?¡± I add with a mischievous smile.

    The word ¡®beach¡® immediately catches his attention. All theints he had, now lost.

    Noah is obsessed with the ocean. He loves beaches so much that he once cried for a whole week after we returned from a vacation in the Maldives. He¡¯d wanted us to move there. When we refused he¡¯d pleaded for us to just leave him there.

    I smile at the memory. So grateful for the happiness and joy Noah has filled my life with.

    ¡°You¡¯re not lying to me are you?¡± he asks, pulling me back from my thoughts.

    ¡°Would I ever lie to you?¡±

    ¡°No¡± his frown turns into a full blown smile. His grey eyes shining in happiness. ¡°I guess it¡¯s okay then. I¡¯m not mad at you anymore¡±

    ¡°Why were you mad at me?¡± I ask.

    ¡°Because you refused toe with me, but it¡¯s okay now. You can always join uster¡±

    I wanted to tell him I won¡¯t be joining him but I stop myself. I wasn¡¯t going to risk him going back. to being sad and moody again.

    ¡°Now,e one let¡¯s go or we¡¯ll bete¡± I take my handbag and sling it over my uninjured shoulder

    While I grab his small suitcase, he grabs his duffel bag and rushes downstairs Carefully, I bring.

    I was just about to order an Uber when my door bell rings. I rush to open before Noah can. He has a tendency to open the door without first asking who is on the other side. No matter how many times I caution him. No matter how many times I tell him to ask first and not to open if the person on the other side doesn¡¯t answer or he doesn¡¯t recognize his or her voice. He just never listens.

    Opening the door, I groan when I see who is on the other side.

    Why did it seem like that the moment I decide to get over Rowan is when he seems to be everywhere I turn?

    ¡°Dad!¡± Noah rushes past me and throws himself on his father.

    ¡°Hey buddy¡± Rowan greets him then hugs him close.

    He sniffs him. Breathing his scent in. I once asked him why he does that and he told me Noah¡¯s scent just calms him. Like how fragrances calm other people down.

    He puts him down and faces me. Noah rushes back to the living room. His excitement making him hyper.

    ¡°What are you doing here?¡± seems like I¡¯ve been asking him this question a lot in the past few days.

    He shrugs his shoulder.

    ¡°I¡¯m here to take you to the airport¡± he says as he gestures to my injured arm as a way of exnation

    I stare at him. Like always, his face gives nothing away. I now understand that he is like that when ites to me. I¡¯m the only one he looks at coolly. Even with his business partners, he manages to give them a sort of friendly gaze.

    ¡°There¡¯s no need for that. I¡¯ve already called for an Uber¡±

    It was lie. Thest thing I wanted was to be stuck with him in a moving car for whatever long it would take us to get to the airport.

    ¡°Cancel it¡± hemands. His cold voice sending shivers down my spine.

    Sometimes I look at Rowan and just wonder why I fell for him. He is cold, arrogant and a jerk especially towards me. I should have ran for the hills screaming when I first started to have feelings for him instead doing everything in my power to make him notice me

    ¡°Not gonna happen asshole¡­ Now leave, I¡¯ll meet you at the airport¡± I whisper yell.

    Who the hell did he think he wasing to my house and throwing outmands? This was my domain. I won¡¯t allow him to rule here.

    He steps into my space so we¡¯re chest to chest. His eyes sh and his nostrils re, I stand my ground. Refusing to let him intimidate me.

    ¡°I¡¯m not leaving. Now cancel that F***ing order and get your ass into my car¡± he growls through clench teeth. A storm brewing behind his stormy eyes.

    My temper begins to rise and I clench my fist. Usually I would push it down because I didn¡¯t want to anger him but I no longer give a F***.

    ¡°You arrogant son of bitch¡­who the hell do you think you¡¯re, hmm? I¡¯m not some F***ing puppy you think you can F***ingmand¡± my voice was starting to rise. I was so F***ing pissed.

    For years I let him dictate me. For years I kept my mouth shut because I didn¡¯t want to fracture. what I thought we had. But what did it bring me? What did pushing down and containing who I am give? Nothing. It gave me nothing but pain and heartache. 1

    ¡°Ava¡­¡± he says in a warning tone.

    ¡°Are you two fighting again?¡± Noah¡¯s voice cuts through the tense atmosphere.

    I turn around to find him looking at us sadly. Damn it! I hate Noah seeing this side of us. He shouldn¡¯t deal with us fighting all the time.

    ¡°No we aren¡¯t. We just can¡¯t agree on something¡± I side eye Rowan. ¡°Right?¡±

    Just like me, the anger and coldness on his face has disappeared. Just like me, he would do anything for Noah. Including tolerating my presence.

    ¡°Sure, your mom wanted to go with an Uber¡¯since she can¡¯t drive but I wanted to drive you two.¡± He says with azy smile.

    ¡°Why can¡¯t we just go with dad, mommy?¡±

    I take a deep breath and cast my eyes heavenward. Damn him for throwing me under the bus. I look at my son and he looks at me so expectantly.

    I sigh in defeat. ¡°Alright, fine¡± I grumble.

    The things I do for love.

    ¡°Yay!¡± Noah screams and rushes back to the leaving room beforeing back with his duffel

    ¡°Wait here¡± I tell Rowan and then leave to get Noah¡¯s suitcase and my handbag.

    I tidy the living room a bit and then pick things up. I give the room onest nce to make sure everything was in ce before turning around.

    Bumping into a hard a chest, my handbag falls from my hand. Rowan wraps an arm around me and steadies me before I can fall. I jump away from him and quickly put some distance between

    ¡°I told you to wait at the foyer¡± I re at him

    ¡°I don¡¯t like to be told what to do you know this¡± he res back.

    ¡°Let¡¯s just go¡±

    I move to take my handbag but he grabs it before I can. Then he picks Noah¡¯s abandoned suitcase, turns around and leaves I watch him wondering what has gotten into him. Not once has he helped me before. He was acting strangely and I didn¡¯t like it.

    By the time I get my feet moving and lock the door, Rowan and Noah were already seated in the car. Reluctantly, I approach the car and get in

    Ten minutes into the drive and the atmosphere is awkward. Noah was busy on his tablet watching. some cartoon. Once he¡¯s focused on something it¡¯s hard to get his attention. Another ten minutes in and I was going crazy. I¡¯m almost tempted to throw myself out of the moving car just to escape. the tense atmosphere.

    I move my hands to turn on the radio but Rowan stops me when he speaks.

    ¡°How¡¯s the arm?¡± he asks His eyes were on the road but he looked at me briefly when he asked. the question

    I¡¯m the only one who finds it S**y when a man does the one arm driving? Shaking those thoughts from my mind I focus my eyes forward.

    ¡°Fine¡±

    ¡°Can you give me more than just a one word answer?¡± he asks through clenched teeth.

    ¡°Why should I? You¡¯ve never been interested in anything I¡¯ve said before. In fact you would go to great lengths to tune me out¡± I say as a matter of fact. ¡°So why are you all of a sudden interested in what I have to say?¡±

    He doesn¡¯t say anything. He knows that I¡¯m right. The familiar pain threatens to rise up but I push it back down. I¡¯m set on healing from those past hurts and it starts by forgetting about it and about the man sitting beside me.

    I look out the window. Praying that we would just get where we are going quickly.

    ¡°Your mother was asking for you, haven¡¯t you spoken to her ofte?¡±

    I groan in annoyance. ¡°You¡¯re awfully chatty and it¡¯s getting on my nerve Rowan. Can you just ignore me and pretend like I don¡¯t exist like you usually do?¡±

    His grip on the steering wheel tightens. I see his jaw clench. He was getting pissed. Probably because I wasn¡¯t acting like the meekmb he was used to. The tables had turned and he didn¡¯t.

    I used to break my back trying to make him happy. Trying to be what he wants. Trying to be like Emma. I did everything I could to be the wife he could fall in love with. Now I had shed that skin and he didn¡¯t like that I wasn¡¯t falling at his feet like a dog. I smile at that Pissing him off eased. something inside me.

    From there the drive is quiet. Both of us brooding in our seats while Noahughs and follows his cartoons. An hourter we arrive at the airport. I hold Noah¡¯s hand as Rowan get his bags from the trunk

    ¡°I¡¯m so excited to see the ocean¡± Noah says bouncing up and down in frantic energy.

    ¡°Then let¡¯s get going¡­we wouldn¡¯t want to keep you waiting¡± Rowan yfully tells him.

    Taking my good arm, Noah drags me towards his grandparents. There were cops present I knew some of them.

    When we get to them, Noah greets everyone but I don¡¯t. There wasn¡¯t any need ying nice with people who obviously hate me.

    Rowan get the bags and then walks to us. He hands them over to one of the officers before going to stand next to Emma, Travis and Gabe. He greets his two bestfriends before turning to Emma. Right before my eyes he wraps an arm around her and brings her close before k*ssing forehead.

    I ignore that. Refusing to acknowledge the disrespect or the pain I felt. Like is it a must he rubs his rtionship in my face? Couldn¡¯t he have the decency to wait until our son was on the ne.

    ¡°Five minutes before we leave¡± A man I¡¯m guessing is the pilot says.

    Everyone is giving me strange looks. I bet they¡¯d expected that I would fall at their feet like 1 usually did That I would beg for a scrap of their affection Instead here I was ignoring all of them like they didn¡¯t exist.

    I watch as Noah says goodbye to Rowan, Travis and Gabe Is it weird that I felt happiness when Noah totally ignored Emma?

    ¡°Noah, say goodbye to Emma¡± Rowanmands with a bit of irritation in his voice.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know her, so why should I say goodbye to her?¡± he asks with a shrug leaving everyone staring at him in shock

    Before Rowan can say anything else, Noah runs to me His b*dy colliding with mine as he hugs.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to miss you so much my love¡± 1 tell him, tears filling my eyes s

    ¡°I¡¯ll miss you too mommy, promise you will call me every day?¡±

    ¡°I promise

    The pilot calls out again and an officeres to take Noah.

    ¡°Bye Mommy, see you soon¡±

    ¡°See you soon¡±

    I watch as the officer gets into the ne with Noah. Mother finishes saying goodbye to the others. andes to me 1

    ¡°Please don¡¯t¡± I stop her when she goes to hug me.

    I don¡¯t remember her ever hugging me, so I didn¡¯t understand why she wanted to do so now

    She steps back and looks at me. Tears swimming in her eyes. I turn away not wanting to see them I wasn¡¯t going to fool myself into believing that she cared for me or loved me. Years have proven that she didn¡¯t

    ¡°Take care of yourself Ava, and don¡¯t worry we¡¯ll look after Noah¡± she finally says.

    I just nod at her. When I don¡¯t say anything else she turns and walks towards the ne where

    Rowan¡¯s parents had already boarded.

    A few secondster I watch as the ne carrying my son takes off Once it¡¯s off the runway, I turn and leave. My heart feels heavy but I know this is the best decision for Noah.

    Just as I get outside the airport, my phone rings with Rowan¡¯s name shing I reject it and hail a cab When he continues calling, I switch off my phonepletely and head home, where i''llbe alone for an unforeseen time.

 Chapter 10

    It¡¯s been a week since Noah left and Ican¡¯t find a pattern to live life without him. This is the longest we¡¯ve been separated and I¡¯m not ashamed to say that I am not handling it well.

    Nosh is my anchor and without home feel slightly Best Like I¡¯m just drifting through life like a stop wreck at sea .Every day Ieagerly wait for his calls because that¡¯s what keeps me calm. Those calls and his sweet voice keep me grounded.

    I haven¡¯t heard from Rowan since that day at the airport A part of my heart still longs for him but

    I know that this is for the best. There was no future between us and I couldn¡¯t go on living with a man that didn¡¯t love me

    So far everything has been quiet. Not that anyone has tried to keep me informed or anything.

    Since there hasn¡¯t been any more shoot outs or people dying, then it¡¯s safe to assume that those criminals have gone underground

    All of a sudden I bump into someone Jolting me out of my thoughts.

    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, I did not see you¡± I apologize and bend down to pick up my books

    I¡¯m heading home from work Today has been a rather tiring day I just wanted to go home and sleep

    ¡°It¡¯s okay. I was also not paying attention to where I was going¡±

    The familiar voice makes me snap my head in his direction. I wasn¡¯t wrong Ethan was the one had bumped into

    He helps me pick my books up and we get up together He gives me a charming smile and I find myself smiling back at him

    ¡°What are you doing here?¡± I ask him

    He was in his officer uniform and damn did he look good. I might have sworn myself off men but that didn¡¯t mean I couldn¡¯t look, and there was a lot to look at

    ¡°We got a report that someone was selling drugs to kids¡± he pauses before continuing ¡°And I¡¯m guessing you¡¯re a teacher here?¡± he asks with his eyebrow raised

    ¡°Yeah¡± I reply feeling conscious all of a sudden.

    It¡¯s not a career that you would expect the wife of a billionaire to have but I loved teaching My parents had been against the idea, preferring I got a high ss job like Emma who was a fantasticwyer or Travis who was an entrepreneur. I guess that had been another mark against me in their books.

    ¡°So what do you teach?¡± Ethan asks, and he genuinely looked interested in knowing.

    I can¡¯t say there was any time during our marriage that Rowan had been interested in what I did. In fact I¡¯m sure he doesn¡¯t know what subject I teach.

    ¡°Biology¡±

    ¡°So beauty and brains¡­I like that¡± he winks, making me blush.

    ¡°Uh, thanks¡± I replied tucking a wayward piece of hair behind my ear.

    Ethan made me feel flustered for some reason. Mainly because I wasn¡¯t used to getting attention from good looking men. Men don¡¯t look at me twice. Unlike Emma who is a beautiful drop gorgeous blonde, I was a mousepared to her.

    I had nothing going on for me. Brown hair, brown eyes and a petite body. I wasn¡¯t attractive and I got used to that since it was hammered into me over and over again when I was growing up.

    Boys never payed attention to me when we were growing up and if they did it was so they could get close to Emma. It used to piss me off but after a while I epted the fact that I just wasn¡¯t attractive to the opposite S**.

    ¡°So, I¡¯m sorry I haven¡¯t been able to call, we¡¯ve just been busy I haven¡¯t gotten any free time¡± he says after a while.

    Smiling at him, I reply. ¡°It¡¯s okay, I totally understand¡­I know being a police officer is demanding¡±

    And I did understand. I understood that that was just an excuse. He wasn¡¯t nning on texting or calling when he left my house that day.

    We stand there after that. I was shifting from one foot to another feeling he awkward. He stares at me, his blue eyes searching my soul. I shift my gaze to avoid his prating one.

    ¡°Ethan¡± Someone calls and I turn to see another officer motioning to him.

    ¡°Coming¡± Ethan shouts before turning to me. ¡°I¡¯m happy to see you beautiful, I¡¯ll see you around, yeah?¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡± I mumble.

    With that he, gives me an unexpected hug before walking away. I¡¯m left there wondering what the hell just happened.

    I shake myself from the stupor after a while and begin walking. I needed to buy some grocery and

    since the store wasn¡¯t that far from school, I decide to walk.

    The sling was removed and even though my shoulder was sore and sometime ached, it was still functional. I thought about everything I needed to Buy but at the forefront was my interaction

    The way he treated me was so different from how Rowan treated me that I wasn¡¯t sure what to make of it. I¡¯ve never had anyone tell me I¡¯m beautiful. Nor have I ever had a man even wink at me.

    The few interactions I¡¯ve heard with Ethan made me feel like I was actually attractive but I also knew I couldn¡¯t count on that. I mean if my own husband didn¡¯t find me attractive then how could other men think that I am?

    ¡®Stop being silly¡® Iugh at myself,

    Ethan was probably just trying to be polite or something like that. There was just no way such a hot guy would even look at me twice when there were millions of truly beautiful women he could choose from s

    With that I shake myself from those thoughts. No use in dwelling on them when I knew very well how I looked.

    I finally get to the store. Since it was just me, I didn¡¯t need that much. I finish shopping for my things then quickly pay up. With my goods I leave the store nning to immediately go home.

    Today, I had not driven to work. My shoulder ached and I had not feltfortable driving like that.

    I was just about to hail down a taxi when I saw them. Rowan and Emma.

    They were holding hands, while walking. I wasn¡¯t sure where they were headed but I didn¡¯t even care. Emma said something and Rowan threw back his head andughed. A deep and richugh that screamed happiness.

    The pain that I tried burying surfaces again. It hurts seeing him like this. Knowing that he was never like this with me. If only he had given me a chance. I would have made him happy. Instead he held Emma in his heart and refused to let go.

    It honestly fucking hurts. I thought that I was past this but I wasn¡¯t. I felt like my heart was breaking all over again and I didn¡¯t know how to stop the hurt that threatened to drown me

    As if sensing my gaze on him, he turns and looks in my direction. Hisugh dies and the smile he once had disappears and a frown takes its ce. I guess that I bring nothing but sorrow to him. No wonder he never smiled around me.

    He faces my direction, looking as if he was about to cross the street toe towards me. I push those thoughts away. That was just wishful thinking on my part.

    Quickly averting my gaze, I get inside the nearest cab and we drive off. I don¡¯t look outside the window. Refusing to watch them anymore.

    It was clear he already moved on. So quickly at that. But then he never loved me so I guess it¡¯s easy for him. It was time I moved on too. I don¡¯t care how long it¡¯ll take but I will eventually move on and find my happiness. Rowan was my past, it was time to ept that.

 Chapter 11

    Chapter 11

    ¡°So how¡¯s your day sweetheart?¡± I ask Noal

    The phone is between my shoulder and eat I was trying to maximize by talking to him while doing some cleaning. It wasn¡¯t an easy but at least my shoulder was doing so much better now.

    ¡°It¡¯s awesome¡°¡± he shouts through the phone almost bursting my ent drums ¡°We just had ice cream and now we are going to the slides, they have slides here and they lead straight to the ocean¡±

    His excited chanter makes me happy. His happines in my happiness The fact that he is safe and enjoying himself was enough for me.

    ¡°That¡¯s great baby¡­see, I told you that you would have lots of fun¡±

    Giving up on cleaning, I take a seat on the couch. It would be better to finish talking to him first.

    ¡°What about you mommy, how¡¯s your weekend?¡±

    What could I say? It was boring as hell. My eight year old son was having more fun than I was. I didn¡¯t have anywhere to go or anyone to hang out with since I had no friends.

    My colleagues used to invite me to things but they stopped after I kept turning them down Deep inside I knew they invited me as a formality, because I was there when they were inviting others. Not because they genuinely want to know me or hang out with me.

    ¡°Uh, it¡¯s okay¡­just doing some cleaning¡± I murmur

    I hear him sigh. ¡°Mom, you need to go out and have fun like I am. Since I¡¯m not there, I don¡¯t want you to stay at home all alone¡±

    Why the hell did I feel so chastised right now?

    ¡°I will, I just have to finish my chores first¡± I lie.

    After cleaning I would probably just watch a movie and drown myself in junk food. Or I would just catch up on sleep. Both options didn¡¯t seem that bad.

    ¡°Fine¡­I have to go mommy, Pa is calling for me¡±

    ¡°Okay my love, talk to you at night¡±

    ¡°Bye, and grandma says hi to you¡±

    Noah calls mother grandma and used to call father grandpa. As for Rowan¡¯s parents, he calls them

    Pa and Ma

    ¡°That¡¯s good be careful on the slides¡± I say,pletely ignoring the greetings from my supposed mother.

    He hangs up after that. Good thing he¡¯s so excited about the slides to realize I ignored his grandmother¡¯s greetings. Noah is usually in tune and nothing escapes his notice. A character he got from his father, but not today. Today his mind waspletely on having fun.

    I smile and put my phone down. I get back to cleaning but soon I¡¯m finished. Instead of watching a movie like I had nned, I decide to go through the biology essays of my students. So far the ones I¡¯ve marked have done really well! I don¡¯t mean to brag but I am a damn good teacher and it shows with my subject being the best performed in school.

    I was almost done when my phone rings. My heartbeat lurches when I see Ethan¡¯s name shing. This was totally unexpected.

    ¡°Hello¡± I answer unsure, part of me afraid that he had dialed my number by mistake.

    ¡°Hi, Ava¡­are you busy?¡± he asked.

    I guess it hadn¡¯t been a mistake like I had thought.

    ¡°Not particrly, why?¡±

    ¡°I was told you aren¡¯t at the station¡¯s shooting range. I thought maybe we could drive there together¡±

    I frown in confusion. None of the things he said were making any kind of sense to me.

    ¡°Why would I be at a shooting range?¡±

    ¡°Because the rest of you family is there. They were all advised to train in shooting and to get a firearm license just in case they ever got in trouble¡±

    Well that was news to me but I guess it did make sense. I mean having a gun when dealing with a dangerous gang coulde in handy.

    I wanted to be pissed that no one told me about this but I couldn¡¯t bring myself to care. They could all go fuck themselves for all I cared.

    ¡°Can Ie pick you up?¡± Ethan asks interrupting my thoughts.

    I had nothing better to do. Plus this could be fun. Not to mention that I get to hang out with Ethan again.

    ¡°Sure¡±

    ¡°Great! I¡¯ll be there in ten minutes¡±

    He hangs up and I rush to my bedroom to find something descent to wear. Seeing we were going ts. Ethan arrives in ten minutes like he said and we immediately leave.

    ¡°So, what made you decide to be an officer of thew?¡± I ask turning to face him.

    The atmosphere wasfortable and I felt at ease around him. It was nice. I haven¡¯t felt thisfortable around another adult for a long time.

    ¡°My dad was killed by a cop¡± he answers with a shrug.

    I frown, a bit surprised. ¡°That would turn most people off from being cops¡±

    ¡°I know, but my dad wasn¡¯t a good man and neither was he a good father. When the officers gunned him down for selling illegal firearms I was actually relieved. Seeing those cops taking out trash like my dad who thought was untouchable made me want to do the same thing. Make the area I was living in a safe ce¡±

    He goes quiet but I can tell there was something more. The way he talked about his dad with disdain let me know that his father wasn¡¯t just bad, he was a terrible man.

    I¡¯ve had such kids in my ss. Students who had really abusive parents. I try to help as much as I can because no child needed such parents. Abuse was abuse. Whether it was physical or emotional.

    ¡°And what made you be a teacher?¡±

    I usually hold myself back but I find myself opening up to him, something that takes me by surprise.

    ¡°My parents weren¡¯t the best and I was neglected as a child. When I was around nine years, I had this amazing teacher. She was everything I wanted my mother to be. She cared, praised me, hugged me when I needed a hug, supported me. She was kind and not only to me. I never forgot her and when I grew up I wanted to be like her. It also helped that teaching just felt right¡±

    Miss Olivia had been my support system when I was young. Her ss had been my safe space.

    Even though it¡¯s been years, I¡¯m still grateful for the kindness she showed a nine year old girl who was extremely sad and lonely.

    ¡°Wow¡± he simply says, awe in his voice.

    We are quiet for a while before he surprises me.

    ¡°I know you have a kid, but are you single?¡± he asks.

    I wasn¡¯t sure why he was asking. Maybe it was to make conversation.

    ¡°Divorced¡±

    ¡°Well, I guess that gives me permission to shoot my shot¡± he lips forms a smirk.

    Iugh at that because I was sure he was only joking. There was no way he was serious about shooting his shot. Even if he was he would soon lose interest the moment he saw Emma.

    If ¡®my family¡® is here like he said, then like all the boys back when I was teenager, he will take one. look at my sister andpletely forget I exist.

    We soon get to the shooting range. We get out and Head instead. Ethan greets and introduces me to some of his friends and colleagues and finally we get to where the actions takes ce.

    The rest are already there. Rowan, Emma, Travis and Gabe.

    Gabe and Travis were shooting. Emma was seated down and Rowan who was facing her turns to us when we enter the arena.

    His brows turn downwards and I roll my eyes at that.

    ¡°Who invited you?¡± he asking to stand next to Ethan and me.

    ¡°Not you obviously¡±

    ¡°I tried to call to let you know but you never picked up¡± he argues, irritation marking his voice.

    ¡°You obviously didn¡¯t try hard enough¡± I snap.

    I was already irritated and I hadn¡¯t been in their presence for more than five minutes. I was starting to regret my decision oning here. I should have asked Ethan if we could reschedule.

    Before Rowan can say anything else, Ethan pulls me away. ¡°Come, let go get you fitted¡±

    I look back for a split second and see Emma ring at me. If looks could kill, i would already be anancestor.

    I sigh. This was going to be headache inducing, I should have just stayed home.

 Chapter 12

    Rowan

    I watch the cop that saved Ava leads her away. For some reason I hated how he was holding her hand. Like seriously, was it a must he holds her F***ing hand?

    I didn¡¯t know why the hell seeing the two of them together irritated me but it did. I didn¡¯t like whatever was going on between them.

    I feel soft hands holding mine and it¡¯s then I realize that my hands were balled into a fist.

    ¡°You okay?¡± Emma asks and I turn to face her.

    Her beautiful face brings me back to the present.

    ¡®She¡¯s the one I want, the one I¡¯ve always wanted¡® I remind myself, pushing back the thoughts of

    Ava,

    I didn¡¯t want Ava so it shouldn¡¯t bother me whether another man takes interest in her, right?

    ¡°Yeah, I am¡± I reply and smile at Emma.

    She smiles back at me and just like the first time she did, her smile captures me. Enthralls me and takes me back to the time when we were together.

    Minutester, Avaes back with the cop. She isughing at something he said. She looks so peaceful and at ease around him.

    Somethings grips my heart and the irritation that had fadedes back two folds. Damn it! What the hell was happening to me?

    I¡¯ve never cared for her much, so why the F*** did I feel like punching Ethan to a bloody pulp? =

    ¡°Aren¡¯t you going to say hi to us?¡± Travis¡® asks Ava,

    He had put down his gun and taken off his earmuffs off.

    Gabe does the same andes to stand beside me. We were twins but we weren¡¯t identical.

    Looking at us side by side, you wouldn¡¯t even tell that we were actually twins.

    Ava gives her brother a cool look. The warmth that was on her face a few seconds agopletely gone.

    ¡°No, there is no need for that¡± she answers.

    ¡°What do you mean there isn¡¯t any need, we are family?¡± Travis asks in a hard tone. Irritation in hisvoice

    ¡°Since when? Last time I checked you only had one younger sister, Rowan had one love and Gabriel, well, he never wanted me as a sister inw. Since the woman you all preferred is standing. right next to you, I don¡¯t see why I should bother making any pleasantries.¡± She says it as a matter of fact.

    Her once expressive face gives away¡¯absolutely nothing. She leaves us all shifting from one foot to another feeling awkward. She was right. We were never really pleasant to her even when she tried.

    ¡°You¡¯re being such a bitch¡± Emma snaps. ¡°Is it wrong that your brother wants to hear from you?¡±

    Avaughs. A sarcastic and coldugh. Something I have never heard from her.

    ¡°Thanks for theplement Emma, you see, they all thought I was a bitch so I decided that it was high time to live by their expectation and let me tell you, it¡¯s quite invigorating¡±

    Emma goes to reply but Ava cuts her off.

    ¡°Now, if you¡¯ll excuse me, I¡¯m going to get away from all of you before your drama chases Ethan away¡±

    With that she takes Ethan¡¯s hand and walks away, not bothering to look back at us..

    So the cops name was Ethan? I make a ment*l note to have him investigated. There was just something about him I didn¡¯t like.

    They get to a booth and Ethan begins taking her through what I assume is the same process we were taken through. I pull my gaze from them and focus on the rest

    ¡°What the hell just happened?¡± Travis asks, pletely bbergasted.

    Gabe smirks. ¡°Ava finally grew some balls¡±

    He looks like he¡¯s enjoying this way too much, which I can say is a far cry from the rest of us.

    ¡°Let¡¯s just finish what we were doing and get out of here¡± Emma says irritably.

    With onest disgusted look directed at Ava, she takes my hands and turns us around.

    Both Gabe and I were already licensed gun holders. I was here to offer support to Emma and Gabe was here because he hasn¡¯t gone shooting for a long time and he thought it would be really fun.

    After a while I give up beacuse I can¡¯t focus.

    F***! I should be concentrating on Emma but my eyes keeps wandering to my ex¨Cwife. No matter how much I try, I can¡¯t keep my eyes from her and the bastard.

    It also didn¡¯t help that I noticed every F***ing move he made. His arms on her hips as he positions her. How close he was to her backside or how his l*ps were too close to her ear as he whispered something in her ear.

    ¡°Ro?¡±

    ¡°What?¡± I snap at my brother.

    This has never happened to me before. Ava has never affected me until now and I didn¡¯t F***ing understand why.

    ¡°You¡¯re not okay, what¡¯s bothering you?¡± he asks me lightly.

    ¡°Nothing, why would you think that something was bothering me?¡±

    Damn it! Why the hell did it seem like he was caressing her with the way his hands glided across her arm? And what the F*** was she giggling at?

    ¡°The fact that you¡¯re ring at your ex¨Cwife and her hero¡± he states.

    ¡°He¡¯s not he F***ing hero!¡±

    ¡°He is¡­in case you¡¯ve forgotten he did try to save her so, that makes him a hero in her eyes¡±

    She turns to him and gives him a look I¡¯ve never seen in her eyes before and it didn¡¯t sit well with me.

    ¡°Shut the F*** up Gabriel¡± I growl.

    He chuckles, obviously finding all this funny.

    ¡°Look, you have to pull yourself together. You came here with Emma so you can¡¯t spend the entire F***ing time staring at Ava. Emma is the one you want remember plus she¡¯s noticed your attention is divided¡± 3

    That snaps me back to my senses. I look at Emma to find her sitted down, her hands on herp and face turned down. Shit! Gabe was right. Emma didn¡¯t deserve this, we were supposed to be starting over and here I was obsessed with Ava, who seemed to have moved on.

    I ce down my gun then sit down next to Emma.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry Emma, my head is just not in the right ce today¡±

    It wasn¡¯t a lie. For some reason, Ava had me all twisted up today which was unusual.

    She ces her hand in mine and then k*sses my cheek. ¡°I understand. You¡¯ve been married to her for nine years so it¡¯s understandable you would be watching after her, after all we don¡¯t really know this Ethan guy. He¡¯s a cop but he could also be bad news.¡±

    I sigh in relief and nod. She was right. I was just looking after Ava She was after all Noah¡¯s mother. There was nothing more to it.

    About thirty minutester, I watch Ava leave the arena. This was the first time that the cop wasn¡¯t see some F***ing sense.

    ¡°What the F*** Rowan?¡± she all but screams when I enter thedies room and lock it behind me.

    I walk towards her, my steps controlled and measured.

    ¡°What the F*** was that out there?¡± I snarled at her.

    ¡°I have no idea what the hell you¡¯re talking about¡± her brows are furrowed as she answers.

    I was in the mood for her st* pid games. I needed to say what I was supposed to say and go back to Emma.

    ¡°Don¡¯t y dumb with me Ava, what is going on between you and the douche bag?

    She smiles but it doesn¡¯t reach her eyes. ¡°Oh that? That is none of your business and his name is Ethan by the way¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t give a shit what his name is.. I just want to know what the hell you¡¯re doing with him¡±

    Why was she being so difficult? She wasn¡¯t like this before.

    A sinister gleam glows in her eyes and I just know that I won¡¯t like her F***ing answer.

    ¡°The way to get over someone is to get under someone else, that¡¯s what I¡¯m doing¡±

    I don¡¯t know whates over me but I see red. Moving, I pin her b*dy to the wall behind her and cage her with my arms.

    ¡°You¡¯re sleeping with him?¡± I growl at her, unable to contain my anger at the thought of another man touching her.

    ¡°It¡¯s none of your business whether I¡¯m F***ing him or not, we¡¯re divorced, remember?¡±

    She is right but I still can¡¯t help myself. The need to erase his touch on her skin consumes me. As if they have a mind of their own, my hand go to her hips. The feel of them very familiar.

    Her breath hitches letting me know that she probably wasn¡¯t unaffected. I get close. So close that I can taste her breathe on my l*ps. Ipletely forget where we are and who we were here with.

    All of a sudden she shoves me away. Snapping me back to the present.

    ¡°What are you doing Rowan?¡± she whispers, tears start filling her eyes. ¡°You can¡¯t do this to me, I won¡¯t let you. Emma is back, she¡¯s right here so if you want to k*ss someone, k*ss her and stop whatever game you¡¯re trying to y with me.¡±

    With that she side steps me and leave. Banging the door behind her.

    I take a deep breath and run a hand through my hair.

    Why the hell did I do that? And what the hell was I thinking?

    ¡°F***¡± I yell before punching the wall I had pinned her on.

    Again, Ava was right. I finally had Emma with me so why the hell was I about to sabotage that by almost k*ssing her sister?

    Emma is the one I¡¯ve always wanted yet for some reason I can¡¯t seem to get my unwanted ex¨Cwife out of my head.

 Chapter 13

    Ava

    ¡°So Rowan?¡± Ethan asks me as we drive back home!

    After the incident in the bathroom, I didn¡¯t want to be anywhere near Rowan so I had asked Ethan to take me home thirty minutester.

    ¡°He¡¯s my ex¨Chusband¡± I reply toneless and we fall into silence

    I still couldn¡¯t believe the nerve Rowan had to corner me in the bathroom. As if that wasn¡¯t bad enough, he almost k*ssed. Me! He has never initiated a k*ss with me before so to say I was shocked would be an understatement.

    I almost gave in. This was what I¡¯ve always wanted but then I remembered that he was with Emma. That he had most likely k*ssed her and done some other things with her. That¡¯s what gave me the strength I needed to push him away from me. I just couldn¡¯t let him use me like that. Not anymore. He had Emma and I was nothing to him except the mother of his son.

    Rowan has never been jealous or possessive when ites to me. He used to do that when it came to Emma back when they were teenagers and I found it hot. I imagined how great it would feel if he did the same when it came to me. He never did, never bothered until now.

    He was jealous. You could tell by the way he behaved the entire time. I know he thought I didn¡¯t notice but I did. I noticed him ring at Ethan and me with a locked jaw and tightly fisted hands.

    He confused me and I didn¡¯t understand why he would behave like this. Sure I lied and made it seem like Ethan and I were sleeping together but that was to get him off my back. I honestly didn¡¯t think it would push him over the edge like it did. Part of me wanted to celebrate that he was actually showing emotion when it came to me, but I also knew I couldn¡¯t count on that.

    Ethan didn¡¯t love me, pure and simple. I wasn¡¯t going to fool myself into believing there was something more to his behavior. 1

    ¡°I thought he was with Emma who by the reports is your sister?¡± Ethan asked confused.

    ¡°He is¡±

    ¡°Then what¡¯s the deal? He just jumps from one sister to the other?¡±

    I wince at that. Ethan was new in town so he didn¡¯t know what went down nine years ago. Even if I like being around him, I wasn¡¯tfortable telling him how my st* pid actions ruined three lives years ago.

    ¡°It¡¯splicated and I don¡¯t want to talk about it¡±

    In all honesty, I didn¡¯t want to even think about it. I¡¯ve paid enough for my mistake and thinking about it brings nothing but pain.

    ¡°Okay I won¡¯t push it, but just know that I am here for you if you need to talk¡± my whole b*dy softens at his words.

    No one has ever said that to me. If I had a problem, I dealt with it myself because no one was there to catch me when I fall. Or to offer to listen to me. I was always alone.

    ¡°Thank you, Ethan¡± I murmur, my throat clogged with emotion.

    Soon enough we are pulling into my street and secondster we are outside my house. Like the gentleman he is, Ethan helps me out of his car and walks me to my house.

    It waste evening and I could see my nosy neighbor peeping through the curtain.

    ¡°I had a wonderful time even though it was cut short¡­next time I promise to take you out for a bite¡± he grins at me.

    His grin is so infectious that I find myself smiling back at him. He and Rowan were simr in some ways. Their confidence was on another level.

    ¡°You¡¯re awfully too sure about yourself¡± I tease, thoughts of Rowanpletely gone.

    ¡°Not sure, just hopeful¡­so is that a yes?¡±

    I nod my head already feeling excited. I mean this time he is direct. There is no way he would say those words if he didn¡¯t mean them, right?

    ¡°Okay, I¡¯ll see you soon, beautiful¡­ have a wonderful evening¡± he takes a step towards me and then ces a k*ss on my cheek.

    The heat that spreads to my cheek is probably noticeable. This makes me blush more.

    ¡°You too Ethan¡±

    ¡°Okay get in, I want to hear you lock the door before I leave¡±

    He pushes me towards my door. I unlock it, get in then lock it behind me. Leaning on the door, I hear his footsteps receding. Then secondster, his car starts and he drives off.

    I had nothing to do so I decide to just go to bed. My mind on my conflicting feelings concerning

    Rowan and Ethan

    The continuous ringing of my doorbell wakes me up from my not very peaceful sleep. I groan when I check the rm clock only to find it reading seven twenty in the morning.

    I wasn¡¯t supposed to be up. Not until nine o¡¯clock. Today was Sunday and I usually go to church. Don¡¯t get me wrong, I¡¯m not a staunch believer but church was a must when we were younger and I just adopted it as part of my routine.

    Getting up in annoyance, I put my bathrobe on and storm down stairs. Whoever it was that disturbed me was going to get an earful.

    I wrench my door open, ready to curse the person but I stop dead in my tracks. Thest person I expected to see was currently standing on my doorstep.

    ¡°What do you want Emma?¡± I snap.

    I wasn¡¯t awake enough to deal with her.

    ¡°I¡¯m just here to warm you to stay away from Rowah. He is mine, I won¡¯t let you steal him from me again¡± she all but growls.

    Her brows are pinched and there is fire burning behind her eyes.

    Iugh tonelessly. ¡°You came to my home at seven in the morning to warm me to stay away from Rowan? You¡¯re barking up the wrong tree Emma¡±

    I wasn¡¯t the na?ve, st* pid girl she left behind and I¡¯ll be damned if I let her walk all over me

    ¡°Rowan is mine, Ava! He¡¯s always been mine. I lost nine F***ing years with the love of my life because of you and I won¡¯t let you have your away again¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not having any way with him! You can keep him for all I care. Just leave me the F*** alone¡±

    I can¡¯t believe that I was standing outside my house arguing about a man that didn¡¯t want me in the first ce. Hasn¡¯t she noticed that the only tie Rowan and I have is Noah?

    ¡°I saw him looking at you yesterday, I also saw him following you to the bathroom¡± she uses

    ¡°And how¡¯s that my fault?¡±

    She looks like she wants nothing more than to hit me. Even when she¡¯s angry and looks like she¡¯s about to blow up, she¡¯s still beautiful. How can someone be this beautiful and perfect? Seriously what is her secret?

    ¡°You¡¯re trying to seduce him again¡±

    ¡°We were married Emma¡® We¡¯ve F***ed more times than I can count, I don¡¯t need to seduce him. you have all my permission to keep my sloppy seconds¡±

    I regret the words the moment they leave my mouth. I shouldn¡¯t have said that and it was uncalled for

    ¡°And he would have been my husband if you had gotten over your obsession with him Now I have feel like the worst scum on earth

    She has no idea how much I regret what happened years ago. I know though, that she would never believe me.

    ¡°Emma..¡±

    ¡°No. Just stay away from him. I mean look at you and look at me. I¡¯m awyer and you¡¯re just an under payed teacher. You have nothing Ava, no wealth or status of your own. I fit as the perfect wife of Rowan woods, a business mogul and you don¡¯t. You never have and never will¡±

    With that she turns and struts away before getting into her red Te and driving off

    I sigh. To be honest, her words don¡¯t bother me. I¡¯m used to hearing people say that Rowan and I didn¡¯t fit just because he was a billionaire and I was a simple teacher. That was their opinion and it had nothing to do with me. I loved my job and that was enough.

    I get back into my house and finish grading my student¡¯s reports. At nine I start getting ready and after eating breakfast I head to church. Since my shoulder felt okay. I decided to drive instead of taking an Uber

    I couldn¡¯t concentrate on the service. I felt like my mind was fried to crisp. First with my encounter with Ethan and Rowan and then today with Emma.

    The sermon ends in a blur and soon it was time to leave. I greet those church goers that I knew on my way out and head towards my car

    My phone vibrating brings me out of my stupor. I take it out and put it in my ear as I dig into my bag for my car keys.

    ¡°What the F*** did you tell Emma?¡± Rowan¡¯s cold and angry voicees through the speaket

    Why am I not surprised that Emma went crying to him? And I¡¯m sure she left out the part where she came to my house unannounced with uncalled for usations.

    I press the unlock button on my car keys but I don¡¯t get the chance to continue my sentence or get into my car

    A booming sound is heard and a heat st like no other hits me I¡¯m thrown back beforending hard. Thest thing I hear, is the ringing of my ears and peoples screaming in feat

 Chapter 14

    My head is throbbing. Actually scratch that. My entire b*dy is in pain. I try opening my eyes but I can¡¯t. It felt like they were weighed down by stones I try calling out to Noah, to anyone, but no sound leaves my mouth.

    I am moving. Or someone is moving me. Every movement jolts me and just makes the pain all the more excruciating. I wish they would go slowly. Or just stop all together.

    ¡°We need a doctor!¡± someone shouts.

    I didn¡¯t understand what they were talking about or why they needed a doctor. Or what was going on. I tried staying conscious but darkness embraced me once more and I fell into it willingly.

    When I came back to myself again, I¡¯m not in pain but I still can¡¯t open my eyes. Nor can I move my b*dy. I feel like my limbs wereden with cement. Like I was trapped inside my own b*dy.

    I can hear people talking but it all sounds so far away. As their words are submerged under water or something. Nothing made sense and I didn¡¯t understand why this was happening to me.

    I was desperate to see Noah, to hear him. He must be so worried that I hadn¡¯t called him. Yet there was nothing I could do.

    I fall back to the nothingness, unable to keep up with what was happening around me. Myst thought is Noah and how sad he would be that I haven¡¯t called

    I wake up and the room is shrouded in light. The brightness of it makes me wince.

    ¡°You¡¯re awake¡± an unfamiliar female voice says,

    I try opening my eyes again but with the lights osting them it¡¯s nearly impossible.

    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry about this¡± she pauses and I hear movements. ¡°You can now open your eyes, the light won¡¯t be a problem¡±

    True to her words, when I open my eyes, curtains are closed and the light are turned low. I turn to the woman who seems to be in herte thirties. She¡¯s wearing a nurse uniform and a quick survey of the room makes me conclude that I¡¯m in a hospital.

    ¡°Thank you¡± I croak out, my voice feeling hoarse

    ¡°Here, have this while I go call you doctor. Your family will be relieved to know you¡¯re okay¡± she hands me a ss of water before leaving.

    I sip the water slowly, reveling in the cold water as it cooled my throat. I stare at the room I was in. It¡¯s full of flowers, balloons and teddy bears. There was also a bunch of cards on the table next to me.

    I was about to pick one and open it when the door opens and Rowan walks in.

    ¡°You look like hell¡± I tell him, my voice almost back to its normal pitch.

    His hair was disheveled, clothes were wrinkled and he looked tired. I have never seen Rowan like this. He is always impable and neat. His eyes are tortured and he seems he had been to hell and back.

    ¡°How are you feeling?¡± he asks sitting down next to my bed.

    ¡°Like I¡¯ve been hit by a train¡­what are you doing here?¡±

    He surprises me when he takes my hand in hisrge one. I go to pull it away but he tightens his.

    ¡°Please don¡¯t¡± he pleads in a small voice. ¡°I need this, I need to remind myself that you¡¯re alive, that I¡¯m not dreaming¡±

    My brows pull together in confusion. Did I wake up in an alternate universe or something? Because things were just not adding up.

    ¡°Are you okay, Rowan, you didn¡¯t hit your head or something, right?¡± I ask, feeling his forehead with my other hand.

    He doesn¡¯t get to answer because the door opens and a doctor walks in. He looked at my chart. before his eyes find me.

    ¡°Miss Sharp, so d that you¡¯re up¡­we were worried for a minute there¡± he begins with a smile. Now, do you know where you are and what happened to you?¡±

    I nod my head. ¡°The hospital¡­ something forceful pushed me back when I unlocked my car. I hit my head from the impact.¡±

    I¡¯ve tried blocking out what happened to me since I woke up. Afraid of epting the fact that I almost died.

    ¡°Yes, your car was bombed and the force of it blowing is what threw you back ¡°he pauses. ¡°And what year is it?¡±

    I tell him and he notes it down. Rowan squeezes my hand and I look at him briefly. Something passes in his eyes but it gone before I can interpret it.

    I was in shock. Never would I have thought that my car would be bombed. With the stress of everything, I feel a headacheing on and pain sipping in

    ¡°The fact that you know the year, you recognize your own name and you know who Mr. Wood is, is a good sign. We will have to perform more tests though, just to make sure you aren¡¯t suffering from any type of amnesia¡±

    ¡°Okay¡± I whisper.

    ¡°Now on to your injuries, you dislocated your shoulder so we had to set it right. You have three broken ribs, a ruptured spleen, traumatic brain injury which caused a buildup of fluid in your brain which we had to drain and also some swelling. The stitch from your shoulder wound reopened and we had to re¨Cstitch it. Our main concern right now is you head injury, any questions?¡±

    My other hand goes to my head since Rowan has refused to let go of my right. The bandage I feel there just makes everything that happened more real.

    ¡°How long have I been here?¡± I ask him.

    ¡°This is your fourth day. We had to induce aa because of the swelling¡­.Someplications might arise with your type of head injury so we will keep you here for a few more days and rule them out. Okay?¡±

    I nod my head. I felt drained and I just wanted to go back to sleep. He writes something before looking up at me again.

    ¡°I¡¯ll let you and your husband have a private moment. I¡¯ll be backter¡± with that he walks out, closing the door softly behind him.

    ¡°Husband?¡± I ask Rowan with a raised eyebrow.

    He looks at me sheepishly and I almostugh. He looks cute.

    ¡°They wouldn¡¯t let me see you otherwise¡±

    ¡°How¡¯s Noah? Please tell me no one has told him what happened, I don¡¯t want him worrying¡±

    His name brings tears to my eyes. I can¡¯t believe how close I had been to never seeing him again. It breaks my heart to know that thest memory he would have had of me if things had been worse, was me saying goodbye to him.

    ¡°Hey, it¡¯s okay¡­you¡¯re okay and so is Noah, he misses you a lot though.¡± Rowanforts me, while wiping away my tears..

    ¡°You¡¯re acting really weird¡± I cryugh, making him chuckle.

    This is the Rowan I wish I had back when we were married. I know he¡¯s only behaving like this because of what happened. Once I¡¯m better he¡¯ll probably go back to hating me. That thought weighs down on my heart, making me really sad.

    I sigh when my eyes began to droop. I try to stay awake but my b*dy refuses to obey, instead demanding sleep.

    ¡°Sleep, Ava¡­I promise not to leave you¡± I hear Rowan telling me right before I feel soft l*ps on my forehead.

    I really must have woken up in an alternate universe because there is no way Rowan would be so soft towards me, right?

 Chapter 15

    Rowan.

    ¡°How is she doing, Rowan?¡± Kate, Ava¡¯s mother asks.

    The concern in her voice is genuine. You can hear how hard she¡¯s trying to stop herself from crying. It¡¯s been a very hard couple of days and I still can¡¯t over how we almost lost Ava

    ¡°She woke up yesterday for a few minutes before going back to sleep and before you start worrying, the doctor said it¡¯s normal for patients with head injuries¡±

    I hear her sigh with relief. Kate has been different since the death of her husband She wants to get close to Ava only now Ava has decided she doesn¡¯t want anything to do with her family. In fact she doesn¡¯t want anything to do with all of us.

    ¡°Will she be okay? Will she make a full recovery?¡±

    ¡°Yes, the doctors are confident, but they¡¯re not sure if she will bepletely okay. It¡¯s still too early to tell but they say with this type of head injury there might beplications¡±

    That was one of the things I was F***ing afraid of. In all honest I just wanted her to be okay.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry though, Ava is strong I¡¯m sure she¡¯ll pull through. I got to go but I¡¯ll call when she

    wakes up, thest time she did, she was asking about Noah¡±

    ¡°Okay, Rowan, please keep me informed and make sure she¡¯s getting the best treatment¡±

    ¡°I will¡±

    I hang up after that and watch her. She looks so peaceful and beautiful. Why have I never noticed how wless herplexion is? Or how naturally long her eyeshes are? Or how full and red her

    l*ps are

    ¡®Because you never wanted to, you were so focused on hating and ming her that you never noticed anything good about her¡® my inner voice whispers. *

    I sigh because I know that it¡¯s the truth. I never wanted her so I went to great lengths to block her out and it had worked until now. This new version of Ava demands attention. Demands to be noticed.

    I take her hand in mine. It¡¯s so small and so soft. I¡¯ve been doing this a lot. Rubbing her wrist and feeling her pulse just to assure myself that she was still alive. That that bombing had not taken her from us

    Whenever I think of that Sunday, my heart squeezes and I feel like I¡¯m F***ing dying. I had called her to warn her to stay away from Emma. Emma hade to me crying. She told me that Ava had toy it on her.

    The moment I heard the booming sound and people screaming my breath hitched. I¡¯d been left calling Ava¡¯s name over the phone in panic.

    My heart stopped when someone called me and told me that Ava¡¯s car had been bombed and that she was badly hurt. I can¡¯t exin how I F***ing felt but I know that it went beyond fear, beyond anguish. Something that I didn¡¯t understand.

    I shake myself from those thoughts and look at her room.

    Some of the things her visitors brought had to be taken to her house because they couldn¡¯t fit here. Most of them were from her students. Those kids adored Ava, no one needed to be told twice. They visited her in groups each day and called her nurse to check up on her.

    I never cared for her work. Thinking that she was probably a failure but seeing her studentsvish her with love changed my perspective. They wouldn¡¯t do all that if she wasn¡¯t a great teacher. Her colleagues also had nothing but praise for her, which just made me realize how much of her life I didn¡¯t know.

    ¡°Rowan¡± her soft voice pulls me from my thoughts.

    I turn to look at Emma. Standing next to her is Travis. Unlike Emma, he looked like hell.

    ¡°Has she woken up?¡± Travis asks. His voice soft.

    The whole thing had shaken him. Not only him but everyone. He came close to losing his sister and I guess it¡¯s finally starting to sink in.

    ¡°No¡± I reply.

    ¡°You need to go home, Rowan¡± Emma says, ¡°Go take a shower and change clothes then you cane back. You look like a zombie¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not leaving, Emma¡± I argue.

    I couldn¡¯t F***ing leave. What if something happened and I wasn¡¯t around?

    ¡°You¡¯re no good to her or anyone if you fall down in exhaustion¡­just go home, I¡¯m sure it won¡¯t take long for you to look presentable¡± Emma argues,

    Travis looks at me and chips in ¡°Emma is right, Rowan, I promise we won¡¯t leave her even for a second¡±

    I look at Ava She was still asleep and it didn¡¯t seem like she would wake up anytime soon. Maybe I could go get a quick shower and then rush back.

    ¡°Okay then, but don¡¯t leave her side¡± I snarl

    She was attacked so who knew if those criminals would try toe back and finish the job.

    Travis nods, his eyes on Ava. Emma just looks at me with her piercing blue eyes.

    I stand up about to leave when Emma grabs my forearm and stops me.

    ¡°She¡¯ll be okay¡­Ava is too stubborn to surrender to death¡± she says with her smile before pecking my l*ps. 1

    I nod and leave. This is the first time that has happened. Since we decided to try again it¡¯s been pecks on the cheek, chin and forehead. Her l*ps on mine is a first and even though I¡¯ve dreamed about this for nine years I can¡¯t help but feel that it¡¯s wrong.

    Her l*ps are wrong, the feel of them is wrong and the k*ss itself is F***ing wrong. Why the F*** would I be feeling this when Emma is the woman I¡¯ve been craving for nearly a decade?

    I get to my house and take the quickest shower known to man. I was dressing when I received a text from Travis letting me know that Ava had still not woken up yet. Since I was feeling tired, I decide to take a power nap. I haven¡¯t slept in days.

    I wake up with a start. Shit! I was supposed to sleep for thirty minutes and ording to the time on my phone, I slept for three hours.

    I put on my shoes and rush out after reading a message from Travis. Ava woke up about an hour ago and I hate that I wasn¡¯t there.

    Breaking every speed limit, I get to the hospital in forty minutes. I was just about to enter her room when I spotted Emma and Travis sitting outside.

    ¡°I thought I told you not to leave her F***ing side¡± I growl, feeling angry.

    ¡°She kicked us out¡± Emma answers emotionless.

    ¡°What do you mean ¡®she kicked you out¡±

    There was no way Ava would do that and despite what she feels towards her family she wouldn¡¯t be cruel enough to kick them out in her time of need.

    ¡°Exactly that¡­she told the nurse that she didn¡¯t want us in her room, so the nurse had no choice. but to demand we leave¡± Travis spoke.

    There was an emotion in his voice. He was trying so hard to hide it but it was there.

    Just then I hear herugh before it¡¯s followed by a groan.

    ¡°Is there someone in there with her?¡± I ask

    Linma looks at me when she answers. Her eyes searching mine, for what, I have no damn clue

    ¡°Yes, Ethan came a few minutes after we were kicked out. He hasn¡¯t left her side since then¡±

    I feel my face harden and jaw lock. That F***ing bastard, what the hell was he doing here?

    Without another word, I turn and enter her room without knocking.

    Ethan is seated on her right with a bunch of open cards. Ava is seated slightly upwards. Despite the bandage on her head, and the scratches on her face, she was smiling and it transformed her face.

    She faces me and the smile sl*ps from her face.

    ¡°Get out¡± she demands.

    I guess she was back to being ice cold.

    ¡°Not gonna happen, Ava¡± I calmly tell her and take a seat on her left.

    Her face is contorted in fury and her eyes are zing. She was okay yesterday so what the hell happened?

    ¡°I don¡¯t want you here, so you could you just F***ing leave, and take those two with you¡­I don¡¯t need any of you here¡±

    I assume she was referring to Emma and Travis. Something happened. Yesterday she was cordial but today she was different. Maybe I shouldn¡¯t have left her with Emma and Travis

    ¡°You need to calm down, Ava, remember you¡¯re not well and you shouldn¡¯t be stressing yourself out¡± Ethan cuts in.

    He takes her hand and gently squeezes it. She looks at their joined hands and then his face. Her eyes soften and she loses the angry heat that had consumed her.

    I ball my fist. The need to wrench her hand from his almost consuming. Shouldn¡¯t I be happy that she had gotten her clutches in another man? I should feel relieved that her obsession with me was finally over, so why wasn¡¯t I happy seeing this? Why did it piss me off seeing that soft look directed at Ethan and not me?

    Before I can get any answer to those question, the door opens and the chief of police enters the room.

    Ethan lets go of Ava¡¯s hands and stands up.

    ¡°Chief¡± he greets.¡±

    ¡°Good to see you Ethan¡± he ps him in the back before turning to us. ¡°Miss Sharp, I was hoping to ask you some questions¡±

    Ava nods while Ethan sits down and takes her hand again.

    ¡°Do you remember anything strange about the day you were attacked?¡± he asks her, taking out a pen and note book

    ¡°No, not really it was a pretty normal day I woke up, had breakfast and went to church¡±

    ¡°What about the day before, did you notice anyone you didn¡¯t recognize?¡±

    Ava shakes her head A frown marring her face. She tries to get into afortable position but Winces

    ¡°Do you have enemies? Someone who might want you dead?¡±

    ¡°I normally just keep to myself, I don¡¯t know anyone who would want me dead¡±

    ¡°You haven¡¯t answered my question, do you have any enemies?¡±

    Ava begms rubbing her temples The frown on her face deepening.

    ¡°Look, I have people who don¡¯t like me, my family for example but I doubt they would want me dead¡±

    The chief looks at her for while then writes something down. Something about the way the chief was asking these questions wasn¡¯t making sense?

    ¡°Seems like the bomb was installed when you were in church and was activated when you used your car keys¡­.did you notice any strange soundsing from your car before you unlocked it?¡± he asked her

    Ava shakes her head. ¡°No, I was a bit distracted¡±

    I feel guilty. She had been distracted because of me. Because I had called to yell at her.

    ¡°Why are you asking her this? I thought her attack was rted to the criminal gang¡± I ask him. There was something I was missing. 3

    ¡°That¡¯s what we originally thought with the first shoot out, but with what happened on Sunday, we have reason to believe that Miss Ava is being specifically targeted. What we aren¡¯t sure is whether it is by the gang or someone else¡± he finishes speaking, leaving uspletely shell shocked

 Chapter 16

    Ava

    ¡°I missed you mommy, why didn¡¯t you call me?¡± Noah asks me, sadness in his voice.

    I wanted more than anything to hold him in my arms. Just to reassure myself that I was still with him. That I wasn¡¯t going to leave him motherless.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry my love, I lost my phone and I had to borrow your dad¡¯s¡±

    ¡°Can we do a video call? I want to see you¡± he demands.

    I know he senses that something is wrong but I can¡¯t let him see me lying in a hospital bed. He will worry and want toe home. Given that I am now a supposed target, I couldn¡¯t risk whoever is after me going after him.

    I still couldn¡¯t believe that there was a chance I was a main target. That someone wanted me dead.

    ¡°Not right now baby, they don¡¯t allow video calls where I am¡± I lie.

    ¡°That¡¯s a st* pid rule! Who makes such st* pid rules?¡± He screams through the phone.

    I know that he is frustrated so I was going to let this slide.

    ¡°Noah¡­

    ¡°I just want to see you mommy, can¡¯t dad make them leave you alone? He can make them give you permission, I know he can¡± he was close to tears and it was breaking my heart.

    I look at Rowan and he is grinning like a fool. Noah knows how his father operates. He also knows that one word from Rowan Woods, and everyone bows down.

    ¡°Not this time¡­ how about I call you tomorrow and we can skype?¡±

    ¡°You promise?¡±

    ¡°I promise¡±

    I was getting discharged today so that would give me enough time to prepare for the call tomorrow

    ¡°Okay mommy, talk to you tomorrow. I love you¡±

    ¡°Bye baby. Love you too¡±

    ¡°Grandma wants to talk¡­¡±

    I hang up the phone before he can finish that sentence, I know it¡¯s wrong but I just don¡¯t want to Rowan stares at me, one of his eyebrow raised A look I can¡¯t exin passes across his face. I¡¯ve asked him to leave so many times but he won¡¯t budge. I even asked the nurse to throw him out and he threatened to have the entire hospital shut down.

    My unwanted guest is here every day now. Being around him this much is suffocating me especially after that day when I woke up to find Emma and Travis in my room. Travis left the room a couple minutester to get something to eat. The moment he did Emma was on me like a ravenous vulture.

    Three days ago

    ¡°Your little trick won¡¯t work Ava¡± Emma sneers the moment Travis leaves the room.

    ¡°What the hell are you talking about?¡±

    I was in no mood to deal with whatever was going on with her. She seemed hell bent on something and I wasn¡¯t well enough for whatever shit she wanted to stir up.

    ¡°This little ident of yours, I¡¯m sure you nned it to get Rowan¡¯s attention, but I¡¯m telling you, I won¡¯t allow you to get close to him¡±

    Iugh The vibration shooting pain to my injured ribs.

    ¡°Let me get this straight? You believe I nned for my car to be blown up so that I could end up in hospital in order to get Rowan¡¯s attention?¡±

    Man was she delusional. And everyone thought that I wasn¡¯t the brightest in the family, they

    should hear their perfect Emma and the bullshit she was spilling.

    ¡°Of course¡­I mean why would anyone want to kill you? What would they gain? Rowan doesn¡¯t love you so he wouldn¡¯t care one bit if you lived or died and we also don¡¯t care much about you. You¡¯re insignificant so you death would mean nothing to us¡± she looks at me with scorn.

    I have never wanted to hit anyone like I wanted to hit her right now.

    ¡°So you came here to insult me is that it, Emma? Beat the dog while it¡¯s still down, that¡¯s you n?¡±

    Why the hell was she even here? Who let her in, I wanted her gone. I didn¡¯t want her near me, who knows what she¡¯ll do once I¡¯m a sleep.

    ¡°I¡¯m not doing anything, just saying things like they are. I hope that gang doesn¡¯t kill you first, I mean, I want you to watch as I take everything away from you just like you did me, including your son. He will soon be calling me mom¡±

    How the hell were we even rted? I know what I did to her was wrong but damn haven¡¯t I been

    ¡°You¡¯re a nasty bitch Emma, but know one thing, Noah will never see you as his mother. don¡¯t you remember how he ignored you at the airport. You¡¯re nothing to him and you will be nothing even

    if you and Rowan married¡±

    Her face scrunches up. Anger taking¡¯over the triumphant look she had seconds ago.

    ¡°That¡¯s fine¡­at least it¡¯s my name Rowan is screaming at night, I will make sure he pumps me so full of his cum that I get pregnant and when I do he will soon forget about you and that brat. I will make sure the only children he acknowledges are mine, after all we both know he has never loved you, every time he was touching you he was probably imagining me, how many times has he called my name while you two were in bed?¡± 1

    I ignore the rest of what she says even though it hurts. My main concern being Noah. I see red when he calls Noah a brat. Taking the flower vase near me, I lunge it at her head. With a scream she ducks and the vase hits the wall just as Travis enters the room.

    ¡°Are you crazy?!¡± Emma screams.

    ¡°Both of you, get out of my room now!¡± I scream back.

    Then nurse enters looking at us hysterically.

    ¡°Ava, what¡¯s wrong?¡± Travis asks gently but I don¡¯t want his gentleness.

    I can¡¯t help remember all those times he treated me like trash. All those times made me feel like scum instead of his sister. All those times he rubbed his love for Emma in my face while treating me like I was nothing.

    ¡°Why don¡¯t you ask you F***ing sister¡± I re at him and Emma before turning to the nurse.

    Please make them leave, I don¡¯t want them here¡±

    My head was pounding and my heart monitor was speeding up.

    The nurse turns to face them. ¡°I¡¯m going to ask you to leave, your presence is clearly affecting her and she shouldn¡¯t be under any stress.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s my sister, you can¡¯t kick me out of her room!¡± Travis growls,

    ¨C I scoff at that. Since when has he ever considered me his sister?

    ¡°I¡¯ll call the security if you don¡¯t leave¡± the nurse says between clenched teeth. All traces of being nicepletely gone. 1

    ¡°Ava, please¡± he begs, but I don¡¯t have it in me.

    They have taken everything I gave them and kept throwing it back at my face. I had nothing else to give I was empty where my love for them once stood.

    ¡°Just leave Travis, and make sure you and your sister stay away from me¡±

    With that I turn to my side, close my eyes and block them out. It takes a lot of back and forth between the nurse and Travis but they soon leave and I¡¯m left in peace. That is until Ethanes and makes meugh for the first time since everything happened.

    ¡°What did you say? Rowan voice pulls me back to the present.

    ¡°I asked if you¡¯re ready to leave¡± he repeats

    I stare at him for a while wondering if Emma was right Would Rowan really abandon Noah? I wanted to believe that he wouldn¡¯t but I¡¯m not sure. Emma was and is important to Rowan Really important I just don¡¯t know if her importance weighed more than Noah¡¯s

    ¡°What are you doing here, Rowan?¡± I ask instead of the question I really wanted to ask

    ¡°What do you mean? he frowns

    ¡°We both know that I¡¯m your least favorite person, so what are you doing here? Shouldn¡¯t you be with Emma at home enjoying your reunion?¡± I ask bitterly, Emma¡¯s word still ying in my head

    He sighs ¡°You¡¯re looking for a fight and I¡¯m not going to give it to you. let¡¯s just get you discharged and get you home¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t need help from a man who hates my F***ing guts! Just leave, Rowan, we both know you would rather be somewhere else¡±

    ¡°Really? You don¡¯t need my help? Who are you going to call to help you check out? You literary have no F***ing friends, Ava¡±

    ¡°Ethan Ethan can take me home¡± It¡¯s true I had no friends, but Ethan woulde it I asked him for help

    Rowan face shuts down and bes hard as granite. His hands fists and his jaw locks.

    ¡°Over my dead F***ing b*dy¡± he growls ¡°You have two choices. Ava, it¡¯s either I take you home of you spend a few more days here at the hospital Either way, that bastard isn¡¯t taking you home¡±

    Cerignisly, Howan, what is wrong with you? You couldn¡¯t wait to get rid of me and now you¡¯re stuck to me like a bad rash thest thing I want is problems with Emina because of you I just want to live peacefully¡±

    He needed to leave me the hell alone I don¡¯t want to be used of trying to use my unfortunate Circumstances to seduce him

    ¡°Speaking of which, what happened between you and Emma on the day of your attack and when

    ¡°I¡¯m sure she has already filled you in¡± with lies, I add to myself.

    ¡°I would like to hear you side of the events¡±

    I get out of the bed slowly and walk towards the bathroom. ¡°There¡¯s no need, we both know you wouldn¡¯t believe me. Like always you will take her side¡±

    ¡°Ava¡­¡± I shut the door before he can finish.

    I slowly dress up. I¡¯m out of breath by the time I am done and so tired I can barely see straight.

    Getting out, I use the wall for support. Rowan tries to help but I shake off his hand. I walk towards the wheel chair the nurse left and sit down on it. The doctor had been by to leave instructions so all that was left was to check out.

    I pick my duffel bag and ce it on myp.

    ¡°Can we get going, that way we don¡¯t have to be around each other longer than necessary.¡± I tell him, already feeling sleepy.

    He sighs but doesn¡¯t say anything. He wheels me out of the room and towards the reception.

    Everything from there happens in a blur. I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open and finally they drop closed.

    When I wake up, it¡¯s to find myself in Rowan¡¯s arms being carried up a familiar staircase.

    ¡°What are you doing?¡± I ask groggily.

    ¡°Taking you to bed, you fell asleep before we could get to my car¡±

    The warmth or his b*dy, and the deep baritone of his voice makes me snuggle closer. He chuckles when but I don¡¯t care. He smelled great and he was so warm. My eyes close and I¡¯m soon lost.

    Feeling like I¡¯m floating.

    I feel him cing me down on something warm. Then he joins me. Turning, I ce my head on his chest while his arms curl gently around my waist as he brings me closer.

    As Ipletely give in to sleep, I can¡¯t help but think about how beautiful and right this felt. In this dream, Rowan doesn¡¯t push me away. In this dream, I¡¯m in his arms like I¡¯ve always wanted to be

 Chapter 17

    I wake up and find myself alone in bed. I heave a sigh. I just knew that it was all a dream. There was just no way Rowan would have slept with me on my bed. I don¡¯t remember everything after I fell asleep at the hospital. I was pumped so full of drugs that I actually started to imagine things that weren¡¯t real.

    I get out of bed slowly, but I have to sit down when the room begins to spin. After a few minutes, I walk as carefully as I can to the bathroom and take a shower. I just wanted the overall smell of the hospital washed from my skin.

    I had so much to do that I didn¡¯t know where to start. I had no phone and neither did I have a car. The police told me that my phone got smashed when I hit the ground. I had a few weeks of leave from school but I needed to figure out my car situation before I got back to work.

    By the time I¡¯m done with dressing, my head was killing me.

    ¡®F***! I needed my pain meds.¡® I think to myself

    I walk down stairs wondering how I was going to survive for the next couple of days. I was still weak and I could barely lift a finger without all my energy being drained.

    Getting down stairs, I make my way to the kitchen and make myself something simple for breakfast. At this point I just wanted to go back to sleep and maybe wake up after a century.

    Deciding it¡¯s better for me to sit somewherefortable, I ditch the kitchen ind and head to the living room instead.

    Who knew head injuries took a lot out of you?

    I eat my food which tasted like cardboard and take my meds. I was just about toy down on the couch and take a nap when my doorbell rang.

    I groan in annoyance. I didn¡¯t want to stand up and walk to the door to open for whoever it is that¡¯s on the other side. My legs felt like jelly and I was in no mood for visitors. I just wanted my damn sleep.

    I consider ignoring it when the bell rings again. Would it be considered rude if I did that? I mean they could just assume that I was asleep and leave, right? That was hopeful thinking on my part because the next second, the bell rings again.

    I curse a string and stand up to walk towards the door. I open it and Ie face to face with a woman I¡¯ve never seen standin on my porch. She was shockingly beautiful. ck hair, big green eyes, heart shaped face and full l*ps.

    ¡°Uh, can I help you?¡± I ask, leaning against the doorframe.

    I was sure any minute now my legs would give out and I would copse on the floor.

    The woman gives me a small smile, tears filling her eyes before she does the strangest thing. She walks up to me and hugs me. I stiffen, not sure what the hell was happening right now.

    ¡°I was afraid you would still be asleep¡± she says stepping back.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry but who are you?¡±

    She ps her forehead. ¡°Shit, I¡¯m sorry..I should have probably started with an introduction. My bad¡±

    I find myself smiling. She wasical and I found her funny.

    ¡°Can we please get in?¡± she ask

    ¡°I really don¡¯t know you so I¡¯m not sure inviting you to my home is a good idea¡±

    She blinks a bit before speaking. ¡°I know you are skeptical especially after what happened to you. but I promise I¡¯m not a serial killer or anything¡±

    I stare at her. I wanted to send her away but for some reason I couldn¡¯t. I don¡¯t know why but I trusted her and I just got this urge deep inside me to let her in.

    ¡°Fine, but if you turn out to be a killer I swear I will gut you like a chicken and I¡¯ll dance all the way to my bedroom to take a nap¡± I tell her stepping aside to let her in.

    ¡°I like you already¡± she responds with a smile. ¡°Do you need any help?¡± she asks when she sees me struggling.

    I don¡¯t mean to re at her but I find myself doing it. ¡°No!¡±

    She raises her hand in surrender. ¡°Okay¡±

    I lead her to the living room where she takes a seat. I sigh in happiness when I plop down on the couch. My legs were shaking at this point and I felt like a new born baby gazelle. All unsteady and weak.

    ¡°So who are you and why are you here?¡± I was really curious.

    ¡°I¡¯m Scarlet but you can call me Letty¡­I¡¯m your brother¡¯s girlfriend¡±

    I should have never listen to my st* pid instincts.

    ¡°Yeah, we are done here¡­please leave¡±

    I wanted nothing to do with anyone from my so called family. They were bound to be just like them and I was done letting such people into my life.

    ¡°Please just hear me out¡± she pleads and against my best judgement I do.

    I don¡¯t know what it is about her but I¡¯m at ease around her even though she is basically a stranger and I am not one to trust easily.

    ¡°Look, I know what Travis did isn¡¯t good. I may love the idiot but I can also admit that he was terrible to you. No matter what you did, you didn¡¯t deserve to be treated the way he and the rest have treated you.

    I¡¯ve wanted for a while toe and see you but I was afraid that you will turn me down but then I heard what happened to you and I just had toe. I know you don¡¯t know me or trust me but I¡¯m hoping that you will give me a chance to change that¡±

    I move around and get my feet on the sofa, leaning back on the armrest.

    ¡°Does he know you are here?¡±

    ¡°The man doesn¡¯t dictate my life but he does know that I am here, we don¡¯t keep secrets from each other¡±

    She loves him, that¡¯s obvious. Travis isn¡¯t a bad guy, to others at least, but to me he has been nothing but a thorn. Always putting me down, hating on me and just treating me like a viin.

    I wanted to shut her down but a small part is against that Something tells me that if I give her a chance then I wouldn¡¯t regret it. It was time I expanded my circle. I couldn¡¯t continue shutting people out.

    ¡°I¡¯ll give you a chance on one condition¡± I say in defeat.

    Maybe it was the drugs or maybe something else but I decide to take a leap of faith. After all, what¡¯s the worst that can happen?

    ¡®Famousst words¡® a voice whispers in my head

    ¡°What¡¯s your condition?¡±

    ¡°You never mention Travis or his family to me. I don¡¯t want anything to do with him or them¡±

    I can see the battle waging inside her. She is debating, deciding whether it the right call or not. If she can have a friendship with me without involving the others.

    ¡°Okay¡± she finally speaks. ¡°Friends?¡±

    She holds her hand out and I take it reluctantly.

    ¡°Friends¡± I whisper hoping that I wasn¡¯t making a big mistake, but then agam I already made the biggest mistake of my life, what¡¯s one more on my list

    We smile at each other before she starts telling me more about herself. She¡¯s a secretary at father¡¯spany and she¡¯s only a year older than me

    ¡°Any siblings?¡± I ask her.

    ¡°No, I¡¯m an only child but that¡¯s probably because my parents died when I was three¡±

    I gasp in horror. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s okay, I barely remember them and I got to stay with my Nana and she¡¯s an awesome person She¡¯ll definitely love you¡±

    We continue talking. It felt different and weird at the same time because I¡¯ve never really had a girlfriend. I wasn¡¯t sure what to think of it or how to feel.

    ¡°So there I was¡­¡± she was telling a hrious story when there was a knock on my door.

    I groan, not in the mood to get up.

    ¡°Could please go and check who is at the door? I don¡¯t think I can do it without face nting on the floor¡± I ask

    ¡°Sure¡°.

    She stands up and leaves. I hear her opening the door then an unfamiliar female voice speaking.

    My brows scrunch up in confusion.

    I hear their footsteps as they walk toward the room. Theye through the door way and I stare at the tall red head woman, who had a duffel bag in her hands.

    ¡°Hello, Miss Sharp¡± she greets with a smile.

    ¡°Who the F*** are you?¡± I ask in irritation.

    I do not want any more strangers in my house, though now that I know Letty a bit better, she isnt that much of stranger.

    Letty is the one that answers. ¡°Apparently she¡¯s your nurse and was hired to take care of you¡±

    I never hired any nurse. So who the hell was she and what the hell was she doing in my house?

 Chapter 18

    ¡°My name is Lydia, Miss Sharp¡± the nurse says, her smile still in ce.

    I study her My eyes scrutinizing her. I then turn to Letty who was also doing the same thing

    ¡°I never hired any nurse¡± I tell both of them ¡°I want to say you got the wrong house, but that¡¯s moot since you know my name, so the only option left is that someone else hired you or this is just a ruse¡±

    Don¡¯t get me wrong. Having a nurse to take care of my needs for the next couple of days or weeks would be great, but this was just weird.

    Lydia sets her bag down before turning to face me. ¡°I was hired by Mr. Wood and was told to report immediately¡±

    A groan of annoyance leaves my l*ps. I am surprised and pissed at the same time that he would do this The moment I decide I don¡¯t want or need his help is when he decides to be a hero Where was he all those times during our marriage when I needed him? He ignored me and treated me like I didn¡¯t exist.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry you wasted you timeing here, but you have to leave.¡± I tell her,ying gently against the sofa

    I wouldn¡¯t ept anything from Rowan The only solid ground we had was our son and that was it

    I didn¡¯t want him in my life in any other capacity except as Noah¡¯s father. Besides, I was used to taking care of myself I¡¯ve done it since I can remember.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry madam, but he told me not to leave your house despite how stubborn you get

    Her tone of voice was getting on my nerve She talked to me as if I was an errant child I was irritable and pissed off and I wanted nothing but to smack that polite smile off her face.

    ¡°Look, this is my damn house and Rowan has no say here. So you better leave before I decide to call the cops on you¡± I snap, finally reaching my limits.

    An unsure looks cuts through her face She wants to obey Rowan¡¯s instructions but she is also not sure that I won¡¯t follow up on my threat

    Before she can answer there is another knock on my door What the hell? Is this e to Ava¡¯s house day or something?

    ¡°Looks like you have another visitor¡± Letty states the obvious before leaving the room.

    Shees back with an unfamiliar man in uniform and who had a cl*pboard in his hands.

    ¡°Who is Ava Sharp?¡± he asks, and I taise my hand unsteadilyhave a delivery for you I need you to sign some papers for me

    ¡°What delivery? I ask, rubbing my temples.

    I could already feel a migraineing on. I was tempted to kick everyone out so I could have peace and quiet

    He checks his cl*pboard at my question before looking up to me.

    ¡°Your brand new Range Rover¡± he says as a matter of fact, with no emotion on his face

    ¡°Excuse me?¡± I ask in confusion, just as Scarlet bolts out the room.

    The man looks at me before repeating what he said a few seconds ago I just stare at him. dumbfounded, not really sure what to tell him. First a nurse I didn¡¯t hire and now a brand new car?

    ¡°Damn, it¡¯s the newest model too¡± Scarlet walks back to the room lookingpletely stunned.

    I turn back to the man ¡°Let me guess, Mr. Wood is the one that purchased it and put it in my name?¡±

    He doesn¡¯t get a chance to answer because the very man I was talking about strolls into the room like he owns the damn house.

    ¡°As a matter of fact yes, your car got blown up so I got you a new one¡± he then he turns to Scarlet. ¡± Hello Letty¡±

    She greets him back and I¡¯m just left there staring at the both of them. Apparently I¡¯m the only one who didn¡¯t know that my brother was actually dating. I wonder if I would have ever known if Letty hadn¡¯t decided toe see me herself.

    I slowly stand up and turn to Rowan. ¡°I appreciate what you¡¯re trying to do since I¡¯m the mother of your son, but it¡¯s not necessary. I have everything sorted.¡±

    Deep down I knew this was the reason why he was doing what he was doing. Not because he cared or anything but because I was Noah¡¯s mother. After all, it¡¯s not once or twice he has reminded me of that fact.

    A frown mars his handsome face. ¡°That¡¯s not why.

    ¡°I really don¡¯t need your help so could you just please tell him to take back the car and terminate her services?¡± I interrupt him before he can finish his sentence, pointing at the man and then at Lydia

    ¡°Really, you don¡¯t need help? I don¡¯t see a new car anywhere or a phone and by just how pale you are, I can tell you¡¯re already drained¡­ You need rest and someone to take care of you¡±

    ¡°Like I said, I have everything under control¡­I¡¯ll order a new phone tomorrow and I already have a

    Why couldn¡¯t he just leave me alone? Ignore my existence like he used to?

    ¡°Then show me. Show me the car you already have in mind¡± he demands, being all domineering.

    Humphing, I get myptop from the table and turn it on. I¡¯d already made some searches when I was in the hospital and I knew just what I wanted.

    I turn myptop around and show him the car I had settled one.

    ¡°Seriously?¡± he asks with one eyebrow raised up, and scorn in his voice. It was obvious my choice of car wasn¡¯t his taste.

    ¡°That is a piece of junk, Ava¡± Letty¡¯s voicees from behind me.

    I turn to find everyone looking over my shoulder, nodding their heads. I hadpletely forgotten that there were others in the room with us. I felt irritated that we had an audience and that they were obviously listening in..

    ¡°Excuse us¡± I grab Rowan¡¯s hand and drag him to the kitchen.

    In my head it was all dramatic and quick, but in actuality it was slow.

    I stop at the counter and lean against it while releasing his hand.

    ¡°Letty is right, that car is a piece of F***ing junk¡± he sneers. ¡°I mean, how are you supposed to drive it¡±

    Sure, I know that it was an old and used car; probably falling apart, but it¡¯s what I wanted. Besides, it didn¡¯t matter to me that it wasn¡¯t thetest model. As long as it got me from point A to B then it would do.

    ¡°It¡¯s my choice, Rowan¡± I fold my hands across my chest and re at him.

    His face turns serious. I¡¯ve seen this kind of look when he is on business mode and he is in the process of negotiating.

    ¡°You refused to take a dime when we divorced, and on your teacher sry, you don¡¯t really make a lot. You probably got this house on mortgage, so there is that and the bills and now you want to add another expense by buying a car. Why don¡¯t you just ept my help? It¡¯ll save you money¡±

    With every word out of his mouth, he just pisses me off because it¡¯s an echo of what Emma said and what everyone thinks of me. They all look down on me because I¡¯m a teacher and I hate them for that.

    ¡°I said I won¡¯t ept the freaking car¡± I shout. I¡¯m almost tempted to hit him.

    His face hardens and he steps into my space. ¡°Be reasonable foronce in your F***ing life, Ava¡±

    ¡°I am being reasonable, I don¡¯t need your help. I asked for a divorce so that you can be out of my damn life¡­why is it that all of a sudden you¡¯re now so interested in helping me when you never gave a shit about me before?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re Noah¡¯s mom so of course I F***ing care and in case it has escaped your mind, I can¡¯t be out of your lifepletely because we share a son, which ensures our lives are entangled¡± he growls, his eyes zing.

    ¡°Only for the next ten years or so and besides being a part of Noah¡¯s life doesn¡¯t mean you have to be part of my life or me yours¡± I argue

    I was getting really tired so I sit on the barstool. My head felt like it weighed a ton. I just wanted toy down.

    ¡°Take the car¡± hemands once again.

    ¡°Why don¡¯t you take it and shove it where the sun don¡¯t shine¡± I snap, feeling like I¡¯ve reached my limit.

    It¡¯s not that I was being ungrateful or anything, I just didn¡¯t want to be indebted to him. I also didn¡¯t want any more uncalled visits from Emma. I¡¯m sure she wouldn¡¯t be too pleased to know what Rowan was trying to do.

    Rowan was about to speak when Letty walks into the room.

    ¡°I don¡¯t see why you two excused yourself when we can still clearly hear you by how loud you¡¯re screaming at each other¡±

    We both re at her but she doesn¡¯t back down.

    ¡°Look, Rowan, Ava is exhausted. It¡¯s been a tiring morning for her and I¡¯m sure she wants to sleep. so justy off the car issue, all you¡¯re doing is pissing her off more. As for you Ava, ept the help offered to you in the form of Lydia. You can barely stand up straight so how are you going to manage on your own? You need someone to help you till you are better¡±

    I think about it. I want to argue but she made sense, I needed help so maybe this once I could ept his charity.

    ¡°Fine¡± Rowan and I concede at the same time.

    Letty smiles and helps me down from the stool. ¡°Seems like you¡¯re on your way tond¡±

    I chuckle at that as she leads me to the living room. The man wasn¡¯t anywhere to be seen, so I¡¯m guessing he was probably waiting outside.

    Letty hands me over to Lydia.

    ¡°Looks like you¡¯ll be staying to help Ava¡± Letty addresses Lydia. ¡°Rowan and I will be leaving so

    Lydia nods just as Scarlet steps forward and gives me a hug.

    ¡°I¡¯ll see you soon and thank you for giving me a chance¡± she whispers her voice full of emotion.

    The only thing I can manage is a small smile. I was beyond exhausted.

    She gives me one more hug before she leaves. I then turn to Rowan expecting him to follow behind her but he doesn¡¯t.

    ¡°One more thing¡± he says before ceing a brand new phone on the table.

    Before I can say or do anything, he softly k*sses my cheek and then walks off. I stand there weakly staring at his back.

    ¡°Come Miss, let¡¯s get you to bed¡± Lydia murmurs.

    I nod distractedly, wondering why Rowan went through all the trouble. I didn¡¯t want him to show me this soft side that has never been directed at me. I wanted him to be as he was before, a viin in my story. This way, it would be easier to hate him.

 Chapter 19

    I fix my hoodie so that I can look presentable instead of looking like I had a one on one with death.

    ¡°Why are you wearing a beanie, mommy¡± Noah looks at me suspiciously.

    We were skyping after I had postponed it so many times. Mainly because I could barely keep my eyes open for longer than five minutes. Today though, I was feeling much better

    I leaned back against my headboard. The beanie was to hide the bandage. Noah still didn¡¯t know what happened to me and I would make sure he never does.

    ¡°It¡¯s a bit cold and I¡¯m feeling a bit chilly¡± I lie.

    I feel guilty for lying to him, but I know it¡¯s for the best. There was no need of worrying him.

    ¡°We have a heater mom, you could¡¯ve just turned it on¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not working and I forgot to get someone to fix it¡±

    Damn it, I hate lying to him. A part of me felt like I was being a terrible mother because it seems. I¡¯ve done nothing but lie to him since father died. The other part though, understands that it¡¯s necessary.

    ¡°Okay then¡± he mumbles skeptically.

    ¡°So what did you do today?¡± I ask changing the subject.

    Anything that he does excites me even though I¡¯m not there to enjoy it with him. His happiness was my own and I would protect it at all cost.

    The frown he had seconds ago transforms into a big smile.

    ¡°I saw dolphins today, I even swam with them¡­it was so fun!!¡± he shouts, his excitement contagious.

    ¡°I wish I was there to see you¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry mommy, grandma took a video. She said she¡¯ll send it to you¡±

    I nod my head at that. I had epted the phone Rowan got me. Turns out he did more than buy me a new phone. He even reced my sim card.

    I¡¯ve tried¨Cavoiding Rowan as best as I can. He calls sometimes to check up on how I¡¯m doing. I try to keep those calls short and impersonal. Like I said, I wanted to live in peace and Rowan meddling in my life would make sure I had anything but peace. Especially if Emma is involved.

    ¡°Mommy, why was Emma at dad¡¯s house?¡± his unexpected question pulls me back to the present.

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°I skyped dad yesterday and she was there sitting so close to him and holding his hand¡­I didn¡¯t like it¡± the frown that was so like his father¡¯s was now back in ce.

    I want to pretend that those words don¡¯t hurt but deep down they still do. Knowing that Rowan was already ying house with her brings back the pain I¡¯ve tried so hard to hide.

    Why is it that we always fool ourselves into thinking we¡¯ve moved on? Then the moment we¡¯re hit by a trigger all that pretense crumbles and the pain is a hundred times worse.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know, my love. You¡¯re going to have to ask your dad¡± I mumble, trying to hide how shaky my voice is and how affected I am by his words.

    I wasn¡¯t going to exin things to Noah. Rowan saw it fit to unt his rtionship with Emma in front of our son, so he¡¯ll be the one to exin things to him.

    ¡°I want you and dad back together. So we can be a family again¡± he is sad and it breaks my already broken heart.

    ¡°Noah, you have to understand that your father and I are just too different to stay together¡±

    We pretended in front of Noah. Trying to give him the illusion that we loved each other. That we were okay. It was all a sham though. Rowan could barely stand me, but Noah never caught on

    Thinking back, I wish I had refused him when he said we should get married after I identally got pregnant. I was na?ve back then. Thinking that I could make him love me. That it would only be a matter of time until he was in love with me like I was with him. He never did though.

    He locked his heart and the keys were with Emma. Even when we were intimate, it meant nothing to him. It was a biological process. While my feelings were involved, his weren¡¯t. We never made love because he didn¡¯t love me. What we did was F***ing and even then he was careful not to get me pregnant. Not to make the same mistake twice.

    ¡°Don¡¯t you love him?¡± Noah asks the same question he demanded of his father a couple of weeks ago.

    I want to lie to him but I¡¯ve done enough of that.

    ¡°I do, but sometimes loving someone isn¡¯t enough. You won¡¯t understand it now but one day, when you¡¯re older, you will¡± it¡¯s the only response I can master.

    I hope to God he never has to go through what I¡¯m going through. I want him to love and be loved. As much as I hate to say this, I hope one day he gets the kind of love Rowan and Emma have. One that has stood the test of time and it¡¯s still burning bright. I pray that one day I¡¯ll also find that kind of love. 1

    A knock on my open door makes me look up.

    ¡°There¡¯s someone here to see you, Ava¡± Lydia said.

    I¡¯d finally gotten her to call me by my name instead of Miss or Madam. I am thankful that Letty convinced me to let her stay because, she¡¯s been such a huge help. She even does some of the chores for me. I don¡¯t know how I would have survived without her.

    ¡°Who is that, mommy?¡±

    I tell her to let whoever it is in before I turn to my precious son.

    ¡°It¡¯s a nicedy called Lydia. She¡¯s here to help me with chores¡± I answer him. My mind on who hade to visit.

    If my guess was correct then it is either Letty or Ethan. Both have stopped by a couple of times to check up on me.

    ¡°Why do you need help? You¡¯ve never needed it before, you¡¯re super Mom¡± he looks at me suspiciously.

    He was right of course. I always did everything by myself. Even when I lived at Rowan¡¯s mansion. I thought it would make him see me in a different light. That he would see that I am not as spoiled as Emma who couldn¡¯t even boil water. That it would be a point against Emma.

    How wrong was I. It didn¡¯t F***ing matter to him. I was so st* pid to think that he would stop hating me a little less if I made sure that all his meals were home cooked. That I could take care of my family and home and still be a working woman.

    ¡°Mommy?¡± he calls out.

    I know that he wanted answers, but I¡¯m saved from that when Travis walks in to my room. He was thest person I wanted to talk to, but that doesn¡¯t mean that I can¡¯t use him as a scapegoat.

    ¡°Noah, I¡¯ll call you back¡­you uncle just arrived and I need to talk to him¡±

    He sighs. ¡°Okay then mommy¡±

    We say our goodbyes and he signs off. The moment he does, my smile sl*ps from my face.

    ¡°I thought I told you, I never want to see you again¡± I school my features. Blocking out all my emotions.

    He shifts nervously from foot to foot. ¡°You¡¯re my sister, I wanted to see how you¡¯re doing¡±

    Iugh humorlessly. ¡°Sister? Are you sure, Travis, because as far as I remember I haven¡¯t been your sister for the past nine years¡­ Hell, it¡¯s been longer than that if we¡¯re being honest. In your eyes you had one sister and you never failed to remind me of that little fact¡±

    It still F***ing hurts. Being rejected not only by your husband and inws but also your very own

    family. Rejection hurts like a mother¨CF***er and I¡¯ve had enough of that tost me a lifetime.

    ¡°Ava¡­¡±

    I cut him off. I don¡¯t want to listen to what he has to say.

    ¡°I¡¯ve stayed away from your sister and the love of her life like you asked me, now I¡¯m asking you to reciprocate, stay away from me and we won¡¯t have a problem.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re family¡±

    I raise my hand. ¡°I¡¯ll have to stop your there. You, mother and Emma are family. I¡¯m not part of it, I¡¯ve never been part of it and you¡¯ve all made sure I knew that, time and time again¡±

    It pains me to say those words but we both knew they were true. They excluded me in everything and made me feel like I was nothing but an outsider.

    ¡°You gave Letty a chance, why can¡¯t you give us too?¡± he asks angrily, his temper ring.

    ¡°Letty has been nothing but nice to me. Unlike all of you, she hasn¡¯t treated me like shit for the mistake I made when I was eighteen and st* pidly in love with someone I failed to see would never love me back¡±

    Scarlet told me that she knew the truth. That Travis opened up to her when their rtionship became serious and after she noticed I was excluded to some family dinners and get together.

    ¡°Please leave, Travis, and don¡¯te back. In fact consider me dead and forget you ever had a sister named Ava¡±

    With that I turn andy down on bed. Facing away from him. He¡¯s quiet for a while, then I hear his footsteps as he walks away.

    I can¡¯t help the tears that hit my pillow. He wanted too much from me. I gave them my all. I loved. them even when they were nothing but hateful towards me. I continued hoping and praying Pouring out my love to them, thinking that one day they would reciprocate and treat me as one of their own. Instead they trampled over that love and destroyed my heart over and over again.

    Now he wants to be a part of my life but doesn¡¯t he realize it¡¯s toote? They shattered me to pieces and now I had nothing to give them. I was emptied when it came to them¡±

 Chapter 20

    Rowan.

    I sat at my desk going through some papers that needed my attention. I try to focus but I can¡¯t. My mind still on the fact that Ava ignored my call yet again. If it wasn¡¯t for hiring Lydia, I doubt I would ever know how she was fairing.

    I still can¡¯t believe how much she¡¯s F***ing changed. It was safe to say that the AvaI knew was long gone and in her ce is a total stranger.

    When Emma decided that she was moving back, I was afraid that Ava would cause us problems.

    That she would be a nuisance like she was back when she was a teenager. She proved me wrong though.

    I should be happy that she was keeping her distance. That she wasn¡¯t causing me trouble, but a part of me was bothered by it. It was so F***ing strange how bothered I was and I hated how she was now constantly on my F***ing mind.

    I eventually give up on trying to focus and stand up. Moving to the windows, I stare outside, trying to clear Ava from my mind.

    ¡°Sir, the chief inspector is here¡± Christine, my secretary tells me.

    I was so lost in thought that I didn¡¯t even hear her entering my office.

    ¡°Let him in¡± I turn to face her before going back to my chair.

    Brian, the chief enters just as I was settling down. We shake hands and then he takes his seat.

    ¡°Do you have anything for me?¡± I ask him.

    Brian was around sixty years. Despite his age, he was still fit and on top of that, he was still sharp.

    He was a retired detective and had also served in the army when he was younger.

    ¡°Nothing yet¡­we can¡¯t find the gang and we don¡¯t have anything that connects them to the two incidents when your ex¨Cwife was hurt¡±

    I¡¯ve been working closely with him since James was shot and killed. The gang seemed to disappear underground after that and no one can find any of them.

    ¡°There¡¯s got to be something, anything that could help us figure out why the F*** they were targeting Ava¡± I was frustrated.

    When Ava said that the gang shouldn¡¯t be going after her, she was right. If we¡¯re being honest, given how things are with her family and me, the one they should target is Emma. It made no sense at all.

    ¡°I wish I had good news for you Mr. Wood but I don¡¯t. These people whoever they are know what they¡¯re doing. They¡¯re professionals. There hasn¡¯t been a single clue at the crime scenes so we don¡¯t even have a starting point¡± he says through clenched jaws

    This whole situation clearly affects him too. He is the best at what he does and there has never be an unsolved case in his files. The fact that he is yet to find any piece of information that points usto the right direction, pisses him off.

    ¡°Do you think something like what happenedst time could happen again?¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t say for sure but if we¡¯re to follow the pattem of what has happened in the past few weeks, then yes¡­.there is a chance that whoever it is will keeping after Miss Sharp, until she¡¯s either dead or the persons involved are caught¡±

    His words chill me to the bone. I don¡¯t want to think of the two times she almost died. Or that she still has a F***ing target on her back.

    I stand up and dismiss him ¡°Keep me updated if somethinges up¡±

    He also stands up and shakes my hand once again, ¡°Sure, I will¡±

    He then leaves and I¡¯m left once again alone, with the thoughts of my ex¨Cwife upying my head.

    Taking my phone, I ring Christine. She picks up immediately, not wasting time.

    ¡°Send Drake up¡± Imand her before hanging up.

    Within minutes, Drake, the head of my security team enters my office.

    ¡°You called boss¡±

    His voice is unnaturally deep, but it might be because he once got his throat slit. The doctors were able to save him but his vocal cords were irrevocably damaged.

    ¡°I want you and two others on Ava twenty four seven. Close enough to step in if there is any danger but far enough that she won¡¯t notice that she¡¯s being tailed¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s still in danger?¡± he asks.

    ¡°ording to Brian¡­ let her not leave your sight even for a second, am I understood? I want her ¨Csafe and protected at all costs¡±

    He looks at me strangely but he agrees,

    ¡°On it, boss¡± he says then he¡¯s out the door.

    I know he was probably wondering what the hell was happening. Everyone knows I never really cared for Ava. I mean damn it, we were married. I am influential and have enemies but I never even assigned a b*dyguard to her, while Noah had two.

    Hell, Ava herself had asked me what was wrong with me. Why I was all of a sudden interested in her safety and wellbeing. Everyone could join the club because I was also as confused on why she all of a sudden mattered to me.

    I sigh feeling worn out.

    Checking my watch, I realize it was six. I was supposed to meet with Travis and Gabe for drinks at six thirty before heading home.

    Taking the files with me, I leave my office. I was in a mood so none of my employees even dared to bid me a good evening.

    I get to the club just in time and immediately head to the private section. This was one of the many exclusive clubs that Gabe and I owned.

    ¡°Finally you¡¯re here can you F***ing deal with him because I can¡¯t stand him being a pussy¡± Gabe grumbles before gulping his drink and looking at Travis in disgust.

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± I turn to Travis.

    He looked like shit.

    ¡°I went to see Ava a couple of days ago and she kicked me out after telling me to consider her dead and to forget I had another sister he answers miserably.

    ¡°What the hell is wrong with her?¡± I was F***ing puzzled because this was unlike her.

    Gabe shorts at us. ¡°What the hell did you guys expect? Years of treating her like shit, do you honestly think that she would continue taking your bullshit like she¡¯s thankful for it?¡±

    My frown deepens as I stare at my brother. Although Gabe wasn¡¯t warm towards Ava, he never treated her like shit. He mainly ignored her but he never went out of his way to be mean to her.

    ¡°You guys have basically broken the camel¡¯s back, so of course she wants nothing to do with you after everything that has happened¡± Gabe takes another gulp of his drink.

    ¡°But I¡¯m trying to make it up to her How can I fix what I broke if she doesn¡¯t let me?¡± Travis asks

    ¡°You people are total idiots. It doesn¡¯t matter. You guys have hurt her more times than she can ever count, right now she¡¯s doing the obvious thing

    ¡°And that is?¡± I cut Gabe off.

    ¡°What happens when an animal is wounded and you try getting close to it?¡± his eyes slices through us like a damn sword. ¡°Itshes out as a form of protection. All Ava is doing is trying to protect the remaining pieces of her broken heart and she willsh out at anyone who tries getting near her heart.¡±

    ¡°Especially those who hurt in the first ce¡± I conclude.

    ¡°Exactly, so you can¡¯t me her for her reaction¡± Gabe finishes and we stay in silence.

    The weight that settles over my heart and soul is F***ing heavy. I don¡¯t know what to say so I keep quiet

    What else can I even say? I knew my actions hurt her back then but I didn¡¯t care. I continued doing it because I rationalized that she deserved it after costing me the love of my life.

    ¡®How does it feel to have a taste of your own medicine?¡¯ my inner voice asks

    Bitter, that how it feels, because now I was getting the same cold indifference I used to give her. When she needs to be taken care of, she¡¯s adamant on pushing us away. Pushing me away, and I just don¡¯t know how to bridge the gap that I had created.

    ¡°Emma is here¡± Gabe announces, pulling me out of my thoughts

    ¡°Who the F*** invited her?¡± I growl and both Travis and Gabe turn to face me, confusion written all over their faces.

    ¡°She heard I was meeting up with you guys so she said she would stop by to see you¡± Travis answers with a shrug.

    I groan in annoyance. She was thest person I wanted to see right now.

    It¡¯s honestly funny, I couldn¡¯t stop imagining me and Emma back together. Now that we are, she¡¯s be more of a nuisance. Don¡¯t get me wrong, there are times when things just flow and I can¡¯t help but think that that¡¯s how things were supposed to be.

    Most of the times, though, things aren¡¯t flowing and they feel forced. She is supposed to be the love of my life so why the F*** did being with her feel so wrong?

 Chapter 21

    Ava

    I was a nervous wreck as I prepared for my date with Ethan. It¡¯s been two weeks since I was discharged from the hospital and I was all better. The doctor gave me the clear and I even gotten back to work a few days ago.

    In the two weeks, a lot has changed. Letty and I have gotten closer and so has Ethan and I. He¡¯d asked me out a couple of days ago. I had agreed whole heartedly.

    Ethan was good for my ego. He made meugh and rx. With him I was at ease. When I was around him I forgot about Rowan. I forgot about my broken heart.

    ¡°Hair up or down?¡± I ask Letty.

    We were on video chat and she was helping me get ready.

    If I was being honest, this is the first time I¡¯ve ever gone out on a date. Like I mentioned before, I

    wasn¡¯t the kind of girl that boys asked out before.

    When I was married, Rowan never took me out. In fact we never did the normal things couples did. when they were in love. There was no dinner dates for me. It would be a surprise if Rowan even made it home for dinner most days.

    ¡°Definitely up, you have a beautiful long neck, you should unt it.¡± Letty says pulling me out of my thoughts. ¡°Ethan will definitely imagine k*ssing it and running his tongue down it the entire time.¡±

    My cheeks color at the picture she painted. I was married for F***s sake, yet such ament made me blush.

    ¡°I¡¯m sure you¡¯re exaggerating¡± 1 mumble, trying to Hide my embarrassment.

    ¡°No I¡¯m not. You¡¯re a beautiful woman and any man would be lucky to have you¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not beautiful¡± I say automatically. It was sort of a knee jerk reaction.

    I wasn¡¯t beautiful. I knew that. Hearing everyone tell you how beautiful your sister is, nails in that fact. It also didn¡¯t help that other parents used to tell my mother that I wasn¡¯t poised, elegant, neat or put together like Emma was

    ¡°Yes, you are¡­you¡¯re the only one who doesn¡¯t see it. All you need is a confidence boost and I swear men will be scrambling and falling over themselves to have you¡±

    I put my hair up in a messy bun, with loose tendrils framing my face.

    I really wanted to believe what she said, but it¡¯s hard to break years of beliefs Beliefs that were

    I sigh and push back the painful memories

    ¡°If you say so¡±

    ¡°I say so, now turn, I want to see how you look¡± shemands.

    I didn¡¯t want to go all out incase things didn¡¯t go as nned, so I settled on a little ck dress Something that I wasn¡¯t used to. Rowan never took me out when we were married so there wasn¡¯t any need to dress up.

    I wore matching ck heels and did a nude make up.

    ¡°You look amazing Ava, Ethan won¡¯t be able to take his eyes off you¡± Letty says with her jaw dropped.

    ¡°Thank you, Letty¡± I smile.

    ¡°I have to go, but I hope you have a wonderful time¡± she smiles kindly at me. ¡°Let me know how the date goes¡±

    ¡°I will and thanks again¡±

    We hang up just in time, because my door bell rings a secondter.

    Giving myself onest look, I take my purse and head downstairs. I open my door to find a smiling and dashing Ethan with a bouquet of flowers

    He cleaned up well and looked mighty fine in his ck suit

    ¡°You look beautiful, Ava¡± he stares at me as if seeing me for the first time.

    ¡°Thank you¡± I say softly, looking down.

    As you¡¯ve guessed, I¡¯m not good at takingpliments. Especially from attractive men

    He lifts my chin with his finger before handing me the flowers. ¡°These are for you¡±

    I sniff the roses feeling grateful. Rowan has never once bought me flowers. Hell, he has never treated me like I was important to him. In his mind, I was an inconvenience that he had a child with.

    ¡°Let me just put them in water and then we can leave¡± I turn around and head to the kitchen

    After putting the flowers in a vase, we leave

    I was both nervous and excited at the same time. I didn¡¯t know what to do or say. I mean what do you do during dates? What do you talk about? And who is supposed to start the conversation. I was so out of my element that I was afraid I was going to mess things up.

    ¡°Is it weird that I¡¯m scared shitless, though I¡¯ve gone on more dates than I can count?¡± Ethan asks, breaking the silence.

    Iugh. Feeling relieved. The anxiety that had caged me fades away.

    ¡°Not at all¡­I was also hyperventting. I¡¯ve been nervous the whole day.¡± I confess. ¡°It made it hard to focus on my sses¡±

    Though my students were happy to have me back. They could tell that my mind was else where

    They even called me out on my abnormal behavior.

    ¡°I had to file a report repeatedly because I kept messing it up¡± he chuckles and I grin at him.

    It eased my anxiety knowing that I wasn¡¯t the only one that was nervous.

    We talk about how our days were and I couldn¡¯t help but think how easy things were between us.

    This was how things should have been with Rowan Instead he decided that the only one good enough was Emma. He decided that I didn¡¯t deserve a chance.

    ¡°We¡¯re here¡± Ethan says.

    I look at the ce where we had parked. The restaurant¡¯s name was familiar but I¡¯d never eaten there before. I was also curious because it looked fancy.

    ¡°I heard the food here was great so I thought we could try it¡± he tells me as he turns off the engine.

    Getting out, he rounded the car then came and opened the door. He helps me down and leads me inside. His hand at my lower back.

    ¡°Reservation for Ethan Anderson¡± Ethan asks the twenty something hostess.

    She checks her list before speaking. ¡°Right this way¡±

    As she leads us, she keeps throwing nces at Ethan. I don¡¯t me her thought. Ethan looked good. Maybe if we were in a rtionship, I would feel jealous but right now I didn¡¯t.

    She settles us then leaves. A minuteter, a waiter arrives with a bottle of wine. He then leaves with our orders after pouring us each a ss..

    ¡°So, how does a cop afford such a high end restaurant?¡± I wasn¡¯t being rude or anything. I was just curious.

    This looks like the kind of ce where Rowan had his business dinners.

    Ethan chuckles before answering ¡°You could say my parents are well off¡±

    ¡°Parents?¡± I ask confused.

    If I remember correctly, he told me his dad wasn¡¯t in the picture.

    ¡°Yes, my mother was a drug addict and she overdosed after I was born. When the FBI took out my dad, I was put into the system. I thought that was the end for me but it wasn¡¯t. A few monthster

    I got lucky and got adopted by a really wonderful couple¡±

    I was mesmerized by him. The more I got to know him, the more I liked him.

    ¡°In other words, you¡¯re trust fund baby?¡± I joke making himugh.

    ¡°You could say that but if we are being honest, then you¡¯re also a trust fund baby¡± he fires back at him.

    Iugh but it¡¯s forced. How do I tell him he couldn¡¯t be anymore wrong without revealing how messed up my past was.

    Sure, father was rich but when shit between me, Emma and Rowan went down, he cut me ofpletely. He took my trust fund and cut me off his will. ording to him, I didn¡¯t deserve anything from him after what I did to his princess.

    ¡°So, what¡¯s the most exciting thing about your job?¡± I change the subject.

    A smile lights up his face as he begins telling me about his job. Soon our food arrives and we dig in.

    I try to focus but the more people start arriving, the more nervous I get. I try to rx and focus on

    Ethan but it doesn¡¯t work.

    ¡°Are you okay, Ava? You seem nervous?¡± he asks me slowly as if sensing my difort.

    ¡°Nervous?¡± I choke out

    ¡°Yes, you¡¯re fidgeting and your eyes keep roaming¡± he tells me. ¡°Aren¡¯t you enjoying yourself?¡±

    Show eye

    Gosh! I feel so bad now. Should I tell him the truth or would it ruin everything that was building between us. Thest thing I wanted was toe off as an ungrateful bitch

    ¡°You can tell me, I promise I won¡¯t be mad¡± his gaze pierces mine. It¡¯s like he can see the battle waging inside me.

    ¡°I do like yourpany and I¡¯m enjoying being around you it¡¯s the scene that I¡¯m ufortable with¡± I murmur truthfully.

    ¡°You mean the restaurant?¡±

    ¡°Yes. I¡¯m not used to all this.¡±

    There was a low chatter all around and everyone looked lively but I felt out of ce. Like I didn¡¯t belong here.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­I didn¡¯t think to ask, I just assumed that this is the kind of ce you would want to

    ¡°It¡¯s a lovely ce but I would be morefortable at a greasy diner than this fancy restaurant¡±

    He stares at me for a while before throwing down his napkin. At first I thought that he was pissed off. That he was going to walk away, but he surprises me.

    He holds out his hands for me. ¡°Well if that¡¯s what thedy wants that¡¯s exactly what she¡¯ll get¡±

    I search his eyes. Trying to see if he was ying me but I don¡¯t find anything that isn¡¯t genuine. I carefully ce my hands in his. His warm fingers enclosing around mine.

    ¡°What about the remaining food?¡± I ask him.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it¡±

    He leads him towards the door. When we¡¯re outside, I pull him to a stop.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry for ruining dinner and you don¡¯t have to do any of this. You can just drop me off at home¡± I still felt horrible.

    He steps closer and pushes a piece of hair behind my ear before gently k*ssing my forehead.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it¡± he smiles. ¡°Since we already ate, how about we go for ice cream? I know a good ce¡±

    I smile wide at the mention of ice cream. Maybe this evening could be salvaged after all. Nodding at him in approval, he takes my hand, just as I feel eyes burning the side of my skull.

    As we he walks me towards his car, I search for whoever it is that was looking at me.

    I almost stumble when my eyesnd on a familiar pair of grey eyes. Rowan was standing next to Emma, near the restaurant we just came from and he was ring at me and Ethan.

    There was a storm brewing behind his eyes. A very dangerous one.

    Averting my eyes and shaking off the dangerous feeling his burning eyes evoked, I focus on my date.

    I wasn¡¯t doing anything wrong, and he had no right to seem angry when he was clearly on a date with Emma.

    Ethan manages to pull me out of those looming thoughts. For the rest of our date, he gets me to forget about Rowan, even though there was still that underlying current in the atmosphere

 Chapter 22

    Rowan

    Today I was hoping to have a wonderful evening with Emma, but that was blown to shits when I saw Ava out on a date with Ethan.

    ¡°Rowan?¡± Emma calls me but I just can¡¯t get my brain to function.

    There, Ava stood in the arms of another man. At first I thought that my eyes were ying tricks on me. I had been happy because seeing Ethan out with another woman proved he was a weasel.

    That was until I realized said woman was Ava

    She was stunningly beautiful. A sight I have never seen before. Her wless skin was on disy and the little ck dress she had on showed her curves.

    Sure I¡¯ve seen her n*ked before but this sight hit me differently. She had dressed up, something she never did when we were together. Probably because I never asked her out and never bothered with her.

    I watch as Ethan pushes a piece of her hair behind her ear. That gets my blood rushing, but not

    like watching him caress her cheek before k*ssing her forehead. Seeing him doing that has me seeing red

    She smiles at him. A smile that for an unknown reason almost brings me to my knees.

    ¡°Rowan, you¡¯re hurting me!¡± Emma snaps.

    It¡¯s only then that I realize that I had tightened my hand around her. I loosen it before turning in the direction of Ava. Our eyes collide but she quickly averts them, before stepping into Ethan¡¯s car.

    I wanted to rage. To destroy something, someone actually. I wanted to hit Ethan to a bloody pulp. I was mad at him and at my reaction at seeing him with Ava

    Emma wrenches her arm from mine before stomping away angrily.

    Before I can stop her, she hails a taxi and leaves.

    I didn¡¯t understand my anger. Now more than anything I understood that there was something going on between Ava and Ethan. I hated it.

    My mind was so F***ing torn, and I was confused as shit. I know Emma didn¡¯t deserve this after all the shit I put her through, but also I didn¡¯t know how to exin why all of a sudden her sister affected me so much.

    Getting in my car, I drive off and head towards her condo because I know that¡¯s where she¡¯ll be. It doesn¡¯t take me long before I¡¯m parking outside her building.

    She gave ine a spare key, so I unlock the door and get in. I find her seated on the sofa, staring at nothing.

    ¡°Emma?¡± I call to her gently.

    She turns to look. Her blue eyes red and puffy. I feel like an asshole. This is the woman I¡¯ve loved since I understood what love is. Yet here I was hurting her, after promising never to do it again.

    ¡°What are you doing here?¡± sheposes herself, Hiding away her pain.

    ¡°I¡¯m F***ing sorry for earlier¡­¡±

    ¡°Are you?¡± she asks, her eyes piercing mine. ¡°Do you know how painful it was to watch you pinning over my sister? How hard it was to watch you drool over her then get pissed off when you realized that she was out with another man¡±

    The guilt that eats at me is ravenous. Either way, I still couldn¡¯t help how I reacted to seeing Ava. I should have and I probably could have. Seeing her like that wasn¡¯t something I was prepared for.

    ¡°Emma¡­¡± she cuts me off and stands up

    She begins to pace, her hand gesturing wildly. Something she does when she¡¯s pissed but doesn¡¯t know how to deal with it.

    ¡°Did you fall in love with her during your marriage? Is that it? Then why the hell did you ask me to give your another chance if you knew very well that your love for me was already dead?¡± she demands.

    ¡°I¡¯m not in love with, Ava¡± I growl out.

    I think I would know if I were in love with her.

    ¡°Are you sure? Because from where I¡¯m standing, the way your behave towards her suggests otherwise¡±

    ¡°We were married, of course I care for her but that¡¯s it¡±

    If that was the case, then why did I feel like I wanted to murder someone every time I think of Ava and any other man? I shake those thoughts away. I wasn¡¯t ready to answer them

    ¡°You¡¯re a goddamn liar. You¡¯re in love with her, just F***ing admit it¡± she shouts angrily then proceeds to throw a book at me.

    I dodge it just in time and it hits the wall behind me instead.

    ¡°Will you calm down and let me exin¡± I snap, feeling my temper rise.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want your st* pid exnation. It¡¯s bound to be lies¡± she shrieks. ¡°Just leave, Rowan I can¡¯t deal with you right now.¡±

    She copses on her sofa and continues staring at the nk Tv. I wanted to stay but I don¡¯t think it is a good idea so I leave instead

    I had no direction as I drove My head was a F***ing mess. Caught between two women. I know that Emma was hurting but I couldn¡¯t bring my mind to focus on her wanted

    I now had everything I¡¯ve ever wanted. Yet here was, ruining the fragile rtionship I had with Emma Ava has always been unwanted. The wrong sister. So why the hell was she twisting me up all of a sudden? I hated being confused and that¡¯s exactly what Ava was F***ing doing to me.

    I finally stop my car, only to realize I was parked outside Ava¡¯s house. How I ended up here, I don¡¯t F***ing know

    Now that I was here, the need to see her consumed me. I felt like I would go crazy with the st* pid need. One I didn¡¯t even understand in the F***ing ce.

    Getting out, I rush towards her door and knock urgently. Hoping that she was home.

    ¡°Did you forget something?¡± she opens her door and stops to look at me in surprise.

    I bet I was thest person she expected to see at her door. I don¡¯t give her the chance to speak before pushing her inside, locking the door and crashing my l*ps to hers

    I take her l*ps with a need that almost brings me down to my F***ing knees. She gaps in shock and I take the opportunity to deepen the k*ss. Feeling her in every damn fiber of my b*dy.

    Wrapping my hand around her tiny waist. I pull her closer, bridging the gap between us.

    I needed more. I was about to lift her up and wrap her legs around my hips, when she pushes me

    Then she ps me.

    ¡°What the hell, Rowan?¡± she screams. Her eye are wide and her l*ps are swollen. She looked thoroughly devoured.

    The p she gave me brought me back to my senses. She looked as shocked and confused as I was. Without giving her answer, I open the door and stomp out. Banging the door behind me. I was beyond angry with myself.

    I get back to my car and drive off. Still confused about what just happened.

    Ava was right.

    What the F*** was I doing? Because I sure as shit no longer knew

 Chapter 23

    Emma

    I haven¡¯t moved an inch since Rowan left I felt like the walls were closing in on me and I had no escape. No way to numb the pain I was feeling inside

    Everything hurt and I didn¡¯t even know how to stop it. I didn¡¯t know what to do or how to react

    Why was this happening to me? That¡¯s the question I keep asking myself, but there is no ansnes for it. There is no hint on why I was still going through shit even after getting the guys

    I feel the trickle of tears as they fall down my face. I hated being weak. I hated crying I rub the tears away angry at myself for letting them fall in the first ce

    When daddy died, I was broken. I was his princess and he was my hero I didn¡¯t get to spend a lot of time with him because I moved to a different city, but when we did, it was awesome

    I thought I wouldn¡¯t recover his death. That there wasn¡¯t a bright side to it. Then Powan and I

    talked. He told me that he and Ava were divorced and asked if I could give us a chance

    I have been in love with him since I can remember. I never stopped loving him even after he broke my heart. My love for him kept burning throughout the nine years we were apart. That¡¯s how strong it was

    My family had kept me in the loop on things between Rowan and Ava. I knew that despite being married and no matter how Ava tried, Rowan kept her at a distance. He was cold to her and he never fell for her. He always asked after me. That his feelings for me were still obvious

    All these things considered, I didn¡¯t understand why right now he was all of a sudden interested in her life. Did my family miss something when it came to them? Something was just not adding up

    I stand up and start pacing I felt like I was going crazy with so many unanswered questions ! I needed to talk to someone Someone who would help clear my doubts.

    Picking up my phone, I call the one person that knows all there is to know about my life. She answers on the first ring

    ¡°Hey, darling how is happily ever after treating you? she greets, excitement in her voice

    Molly has been my best friend since we started Uni She was my anchor and support system after everything went down with Rowan She was the one that helped pull me back together it wasn¡¯t for her pushing, I would have continued being depressed and failing my sses I owe my

    career to her

    ¡°Not that great¡± I whisper sadly

    I thought that I would finally get my man. That everything was finally falling into ce and I would soon have my dream. Instead here I am worrying and questioning everything.

    ¡°What do you mean? I thought everything was going great. Rowan asked you for another chance, didn¡¯t he?¡± she questions, her voice ringing in confusion.

    She could join the club because I was just as confused as she was.

    ¡°They were, at first, but now I¡¯m starting to doubt things. To doubt his feelings for me¡±

    It makes my heart ache to think that everyone might have been wrong about his feelings. That at some point he might have developed some for Ava. I don¡¯t know how I would survive if that ends up being the case.

    ¡°Tell me why you are in doubt and then we can work from there¡± she says softly and calmly.

    I am one of the bestwyers. I study the facts beforeing up with an attack n. I make sure I am able to think clearly so that I can disable my enemies. Yet, when ites to Rowan, everything I¡¯ve learned is thrown out of the window.

    ¡°Rowan has been obsessive with Ava. He thinks I don¡¯t know but for the past weeks, he¡¯s been constantly checking on and calling her. He hired b*dyguards for her, bought her a brand new car and hired someone to look after her¡±

    I never told him that I knew because I wanted him to tell me himself. I didn¡¯t understand why he was doing all these things if he truly didn¡¯t give a F*** about her. In my head, that was going beyond what¡¯s normal for an ex¨Chusband to do for his ex¨Cwife.

    ¡°Why would he do all that? Did something happen to ¡®she who shall not be named¡® or something?¡± I can tell she¡¯s puzzled. I can even imagine her brows pinched as tries toe up with an answer.

    ¡°Seems like she¡¯s a target, she got shot during daddy¡¯s burial and a couple of weeks ago, her car got blown up and she was injured¡± I tell her everything that happened ¡°Personally, I think she did all these things to steal Rowan¡¯s attention from me¡± I finish

    Like I said before, Ava isn¡¯t anyone of importance to us, so why would anyone be after her?

    Molly sighs, ¡°If I were there, I would have smacked you Emma. You¡¯re a damnwyer and yet you want to believe your sister is capable of doing all that to herself just to get Rowan?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s because I¡¯m awyer that I believe it. You can¡¯t imagine what lengths women would go to, just to get the attention of their exes after said exes have moved on¡±

    I¡¯ve had my share of serving ex- wives and girlfriends after they harmed others and their supposed loved one all in the name of winning back their men.

    ¡°People do crazy things when in love, and crazy is Ava¡¯s middle name¡± I add.

    When we were teenagers, Ava did everything and anything to get Rowan¡¯s attention She even went as far as sabotaging our dates, ruining any diess I picked when I was going to meet Rowan and once she put green hair dye in my shampoo Those were just some of the tame things she did. She didn¡¯t stop until she finally managed to break Rowan and I up.

    ¡°I¡¯m not Ava¡¯s biggest fan because of what she did to you, but I think she wouldn¡¯t stoop that low¡­ Besides, isn¡¯t she the one that asked for the divorce?¡± Molly asks.

    I go to tell her that it might have been a maniptive trick she used, but she doesn¡¯t give me the chance to speak.

    ¡°I understand that you¡¯re worried but Rowan has been married to Ava for nine years. They also have a son. He may not be in love with her but that doesn¡¯t mean he doesn¡¯t care for her. After what you¡¯ve told me happened to Ava, it¡¯s normal he would be worried and want to look after her¡±

    She made sense, but I still couldn¡¯t help feel that something is just not right with him.

    I get that, but that¡¯s not my worry. My concern is how he behaves when he sees her with another man. There is this cop called Ethan and he¡¯s sniffing around Ava. The two times we saw them together, Rowan¡¯s behavior was vtile. He almost broke my hand today after he saw Ethan and

    Ava standing really close outside a restaurant¡± I tell her feelingpletely defeated.

    She¡¯s quiet for some time, while I try my best to drown the pain I felt today. You have no idea how

    F***ing hurtful it is to see the man you love,pletely pissed at seeing the woman who broke us up, with another man.

    ¡°Define vtile¡± Molly demands.

    ¡°He looked possessed. Like he was about to blow. The only reason he would behave like that, is if he was possessive of her. To be possessive in that manner, means you have deep feelings.

    Feelings that go beyond just caring about someone simply because she¡¯s the mother of your kid¡± i tell her

    I don¡¯t want to think of that possibility, but I also can¡¯t help myself. Could it be really possible that he was in love with her and didn¡¯t even know it?

    ¡°Look, I don¡¯t know what to say because this shit isplicated. From where I¡¯m standing you have two options, you can either give him up or fight for him. There is no way everyone was wrong when they said he was still pinning over you¡±

    I don¡¯t even think twice when I answer. ¡°I¡¯m fighting for him. Ava ruined us once and took away nine years of our lives. I won¡¯t let her do that again¡±

    Molly lets out a breath. ¡°I was afraid you would say that, but Emma..¡± she inhales. ¡°If that¡¯s the case, then you¡¯ll have toe clean. You¡¯ve kept it a secret for so long that you¡¯ve started fooling yourself into believing it. No great rtionship is built off of lies¡± .

    I hate that she was reminding me of what I was yet to tell him. I knew she was right but I didn¡¯t know if it was the right move.

    Pretending was better than acknowledging the truth. I knew if they ever found out, they would loose their respect for me. They would realize that I wasn¡¯t perfect. I couldn¡¯t have that, because being perfect is the only advantage l¡¯had over Ava.

 Chapter 24

    Ava

    I¡¯m still reeling from Rowan¡¯s actions a couple of days ago. I don¡¯t get what the hell has the inte him. Was he trying to jeopardize his rtionship with Emma? Did he want to get me trouble with her?

    She already thought that I was out to get her man That I was doing everything can to take hu away from her. What she didn¡¯t understand is that I just wanted peace I didn¡¯t want Rowan I¡¯ve been there, tried that and learned my lesson the hard way.

    ¡°Are you sure about that?¡± an annoying little voice asked me. ¡°You can¡¯t deny that you liked the k*ss. That¡¯s how you always imagined him k*ssing you. With nothing but want and passion¡±

    I shake the thought away. It was wrong. I was determined to move on from Rowan and find a life and love of my own. Just because my b*dy betrayed me didn¡¯t mean anything. My re pons- was purely biological. There was nothing more to it

    ¡°Keep lying to yourself¡± the voice argued

    I wasn¡¯t lying to myself. Or maybe I was, bottom line is I wasn¡¯t going to read into Rowan uncharacteristic behavior or his unexpected k*ss.

    Pushing thoughts of Rowanpletely to the back of my mind, I focus on the door to the coffee shop. It was five and I had just gotten out of work. Letty and I had made ns to meet up before going home.

    I take a bite of my cake just as the door opens and Letty walks in. Her eyes searches the sea of people before finallynding on me. She rushes towards me, a smile on her face.

    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry I¡¯mte, we had ast minute meeting at the office¡± she says as she takes a seat opposite me.

    I smile back at her. ¡°It¡¯s okay. No worries¡±

    ¡°I see you¡¯ve already ordered¡± she points out.

    ¡°I missed lunch so I was a bit hungry¡±

    She nods her head before making her order. When that¡¯s done, she turns and faces me. Giving me her full attention.

    ¡°So tell me, how did your date with Ethan go?¡±

    If I¡¯m being honest, Letty hase to mean a lot to me in the short time we¡¯ve known each other. She is the best friend I never knew I needed. The one I never got to have in high school because I was too obsessed with getting Rowan to notice me.

    ¡°It went really well¡± I tell her shyly.

    Her face lights up and a grin takes over. ¡°Tell me everything¡±

    ¡°There isn¡¯t much to tell, Letty. We went to dinner at this fancy restaurant and then he took me out for ice cream. Which was my favorite part of the night¡±

    ¡°Did he k*ss you?¡± excitement was written all over her face

    I chuckle at that. It¡¯s like nothing else I said to her registered. All she wanted to know is how the night ended.

    ¡°No.¡± I tell her. ¡°I could tell he wanted to, but he didn¡¯t. I don¡¯t know whether I am still disappointed by that or not¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Because part of me wanted him to do it, just to know how it feels to be k*ssed by someone who actually wants me, but the other part was d he didn¡¯t k*ss me because I¡¯m not sure whether I¡¯m ready for that yet¡±

    She keeps quiet and just stares at me. I see the wheels in her mind turning as she thinks about what I just told her.

    ¡°You¡¯re telling me that Rowan has never k*ssed you?¡± she asks, a frown marring her beautiful face.

    ¡°He has, but not like he meant it. I saw him k*ss Emma when we were younger. It was passionate and heated. Like he couldn¡¯t get over the taste of her l*ps on his. Like he could do it over and over again.¡± I take a breath. ¡°He has never k*ssed me like that¡±

    I avoid her eyes because I don¡¯t want her to see my shame. This is the first time I¡¯m telling anyone this. I¡¯ve hidden the broken pieces of my marriage to Rowan in my heart for so long. Not wanting anyone to know just how much his actions destroyed me.

    ¡°He did k*ss you like thatst Friday¡± that same annoying voice reminds me.

    That was just a fluke. It didn¡¯t mean anything. Besides it can¡¯t erase all the times I wanted him tomuch as he could, and that always hurt me like you wouldn¡¯t believe That my husband found me so unattractive that he didn¡¯t even want to k*ss me. Even when we had S**, he would k*ss anywhere except my l*ps.

    ¡°You deserve to be k*ssed like the world is going to end in the next minute¡± Letty¡¯s words pull me out of my head. She has my hand in hers, offering me support andfort.

    I look at her and sigh in relief. She wasn¡¯t looking at me with pity or sympathy That was thest thing I needed from her

    ¡°So, apart from that, everything else was perfect?¡± she asks

    ¡°Yes, I did see Rowan and Emma though Looked like they were out on a date¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re serious?¡±

    ¡°Yes¡± I answer taking a sip of my drink Trying to forget how perfect they looked together

    Emma was right. She and Rowan just made sense Everyone saw it then and finally I¡¯m beginning to see it now,

    ¡°Well, I hope he saw how freaking gorgeous you were and I hope it sinks in that he let go of a true beauty¡±

    Iugh. I told you Letty was good for my ego For once there was another human being who wasn¡¯t obsessed with how beautiful Emma was Finally, someone who wasn¡¯tparing me to my sister or rubbing her beauty in my face.

    ¡°So that¡¯s it? Nothing else interesting happened?¡± she asks

    ¡°Nope¡± I shake my head.

    I wanted to tell her about Rowan¡¯s visit, but I stop myself. Don¡¯t get me wrong. I trusted her but sometimes people sl*p up and say things they aren¡¯t supposed to say.

    Thest thing I wanted is Emma ever finding out that Rowan came to my house after their date.

    Worst of all, that he k*ssed m¨¦

    We settle after that and our conversation flows easily, but I noticed that something was eating at her.

    ¡°Okay, what¡¯s wrong?¡± I push my ss and te aside.

    ¡°Nothing¡± she answers averting her eyes.

    ¡°Spill it, Letty¡± Imand.

    There¡¯s a battle waging inside her mind. Immediately I know that I wasn¡¯t going to like what she says. If she chooses to tell me, that is. 2

    ¡°It¡¯s about Travis, he really is sorry¡±

    I mentally shake myself. I should have just kept my mouth shut and minded my own damn business.

    ¡°We¡¯re not going to go there¡± the words leave through clenched teeth.

    Letty sighs. ¡°Please, Ava. It¡¯s tearing him apart that you want nothing to do with him. That you were hurt and he couldn¡¯t even be there for you. He¡¯s hurting¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s hurting? Do you know how many years I¡¯ve been hurting? Do you know how many painful things he¡¯s said and done to me? He wants me to forgive him yet he never forgave me for hurting his precious sister. He told me I was dead to him. That he only had one sister, do you know how painful it was to hear him say that? Or to have him taunt me that Rowan will never love me because Emma was his everything and I was nothing?¡±

    I was trying to move on yet they kept dragging me back. Once again, his paines before mine. No one cared that they hurt me and tore me down, yet he expects me to forget my pain and forgive him. It wasn¡¯t going to happen.

    I stand up and pick up my bag, already in a foul mood.

    ¡°If he can reverse the pain he gave me, then I might just forgive him. Until then we have nothing to talk about¡±

    I see the tears swimming in her eyes but I ignore them and walk away. She calls my name but I don¡¯t turn back.

    I hail a cab and get in just as she gets outside. I refuse to look at her as the cab drives off.

    I fight back the tears that threaten to fall. I wasn¡¯t going to be weak anymore. I wasn¡¯t going to fall back to feeling sad for myself. That chapter of my life is over. I was now going to focus on creating a new life for myself.

    We get home and I pay the taxi driver. Thankful that I was home. In my safe space.

    I walk to my door and I was about to open my door when a chill runs down my back. I felt like I was being watched. I turn around to look at the street but there was nothing out of the ordinary.

    A neighbor three door down was walking her dog. Cars were driving past my house on their way to their homes. A couple of people were on their evening jogs.

    I turn back around, unlock my door and get inside. All the while still feeling the chilling and menacing stare on my back.

 Chapter 25

    I had just finished cleaning up when my phone rang. For some reason, I always find cleaning rxing. It¡¯s a way for me to take my mind off what¡¯s stressing me out.

    Since I was back on my feet and could fend for myself, I let Lydia go. She was a great help, but I didn¡¯t need a nurse anymore. Plus I preferred to be independent.

    I cross the room and pick up my phone. For a moment, I¡¯m tempted to hang up when I see Letty¡¯s name shing. I was still a bit pissed at her but a part of me also understood her. I would also do anything for the man I loved, including trying to bring him and his estranged sister together.

    ¡°Hey¡± I answer walking up to my room.

    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, Ava. I crossed the line even after I made a promise to never speak about Travis¡± the emotion in her voice caught me off guard.

    She sounded genuine and a little bit sad. I was surprised and I didn¡¯t know what to do. I wasn¡¯t used to people apologizing to me and actually meaning it. As a matter of fact, none of those around me has ever apologized when they wronged me.

    ¡°Letty¡­¡±

    She cuts me off before I can finish. ¡°You were right. We can¡¯t expect you to just forget. To just pretend like he hasn¡¯t hurt you for years. No amount of remorse from him is enough to erase the emotional pain he put you through. I love him, God, do I love him, but my love can¡¯t blind me to his faults and his awful treatment of his own sister. You¡¯re a beautiful soul and yet he crushed you with his cruelty so how can I ask you to just forgive him years of mistreatment? It wouldn¡¯t be fair. Our friendship hase to mean a lot to me and I don¡¯t want to ruin it¡±

    I sigh. Already feeling tired and emotionally drained. It would be so much easier to just forget and move on, but that¡¯s the thing about being hurt. It¡¯s never easy to forget about it.

    They say that time heals all wounds. I say that it¡¯s all crap. This kind of pain stays with you for life. You simply find a way to co¨Cexist with it or to numb it. The wound inflicted doesn¡¯t alwayspletely heal.

    ¡°Look, Letty, I get where you¡¯reing from and I get how hard it must be for you. I like being you friend, I really do, but I also don¡¯t want to cause any problems between you and Travis. Thest thing I want and need is Travis hating me more than he already does¡±

    ¡°He doesn¡¯t hate¡­¡±

    This time I¡¯m the one that interrupts her. ¡°Please let¡¯s not go there. He has made it clear multiple times that he does and I epted that a long time ago¡±

    I mean, it¡¯s easy to get used to it when your family, husband and inws hate you. It hurt like a bitch but I got used to it and made peace with it.

    She lets out a breath before speaking. ¡°I don¡¯t want our friendship to end, okay? I¡¯ll just have to find a way to keep both rtionships separate from each other¡±

    I don¡¯t see how that will work. She¡¯s bound to get tired and give up. It¡¯s hard to stand in the middle of two people you treasure but don¡¯t see eye to eye.

    I go to tell her exactly that when my phone vibrates with another iing call. I smile. Feeling like my old self since everything went down with Letty a couple of hours ago.

    ¡°I¡¯ve got to go, Letty. Noah is calling and I want to talk to him before he goes to sleep¡± I let her know, eager to talk to my son.

    ¡°Sure, I understand¡± she pauses. ¡°We¡¯re okay though? I swear I¡¯ll keep my promise and won¡¯t mention Travis again¡±

    ¡°Yeah, we¡¯re okay. Don¡¯t worry about it¡± I tell her, meaning every word.

    ¡°Thanks¡± she says excitedly. ¡°I¡¯ll let you have your time with Noah. Tell him I said, Hello, and have a goodnight¡±

    ¡°You too, Letty¡±

    I hang up the phone and take a deep breath. Since Noah had already hanged up, I call him back.

    ¡°Hello?¡± I freeze at the sound of mother¡¯s voiceing from the other side.

    I haven¡¯t talked to her since that day at the airport. Among all the people who hurt me, hers hurt more. A mother is supposed to love and cherish her kids, yet I got nothing from my own mother. I mean how could she just turn her back on me? How could she treat me like I was nothing?

    Now that I have my own child, I can¡¯t understand how she was able to do it. I can¡¯t ever imagine turning my back on Noah.

    ¡°Ava, how are you?¡± she asks softly, her voice trembling a little.

    Nothinges out of my l*ps. I remain mute. Not because I have nothing to say to her, but because I have so much to say and neither of it is good. I¡¯d rather keep quiet than say something I can¡¯t take back.

    ¡°Please say something? Anything¡­I just want to hear your voice¡± she whispers, her voice thick.

    I still don¡¯t say anything. My throat clogs with emotion. This is the mother I always wanted. A few years back, hell a few months back, I would have jumped at this opportunity, but it¡¯s toote now.

    ¡°I know you don¡¯t want to talk to me, so I¡¯ll just put Noah on the phone. Just know that I love you, Ava¡±

    I didn¡¯t mean to, but I scoff at her words. If what she¡¯s shown me my entire life is love, then I don¡¯t want it. I¡¯ve seen firsthand what her kind of love can do and I want nothing to do with it.

    I hear her call out to Noah and soon enough, my boy is on the phone with me.

    ¡°Hi, Mommy¡± he says. This time though he isn¡¯t his usual excited self.

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± i ask with concern

    ¡°Nothing, I just miss you so much. It¡¯s fun being here but I want toe home, when can Ie home?¡±

    His sadness kills me. I wanted him home more than anything, but his safetyes first.

    I was about to answer when I heard a crash downstairs. I sit up on my bed.

    ¡°Noah, let me check something downstairs then I¡¯ll call you back¡± I tell him distractedly.

    He answers with an okay and then hangs up. Once he does, I grip my phone and head downstairs. I wanted to believe that it wasn¡¯t anything. That maybe a cup fell or something stupid like that, but I couldn¡¯t.

    Grabbing a vase, I tip toe down stairs towards where I heard the noise. My heart stops for a second when I see the broken ss of my back door, which was now open. Someone had just broken into my house and deep down I knew it wasn¡¯t just amon burr.

    Jerkily, I pull my phone out about to call the police, but I don¡¯t get a chance before someone hits me on the head.

    ¡°This time, I¡¯ll make sure you¡¯re dead¡± I hear an unfamiliar voice say right before I fall to the ground.

 Chapter 26

    I open my eyes to find myself in the living room, my hands tied to the back a chair.

    ¡°Ahh, you¡¯re awake. I was wondering how long it would take you to wake up, after all, I prefer having my victims conscious when I kill them¡± the man¡¯s voice sends chills down my spine.

    He rounds the corner and I get to see him. At least parts of him since he had his face covered. He was a big and burly man. His arms alone, looked like they can crush a person¡¯s head. He screamed danger and not because I was currently his victim. There was just something menacing about him.

    He takes a seat in front of me, with a ss of wine in his hand. My ss and my wine. He looked sofortable, like this was his house.

    I try to get free, but the ropes are tight.

    ¡°You can try all you want but you¡¯re not getting away from me this time¡± he chuckles. ¡°You¡¯ve caused me enough trouble and I don¡¯t like trouble¡±

    ¡°Who are you and what do you want from me?¡± I ask him.

    Maybe if I can get him to talk I can get something from him and buy myself some time. There is no way no one noticed someone breaking into my house, right?

    ¡°Let¡¯s just say I¡¯m someone who really wants you dead¡±

    The urge to roll my eyes is strong. I mean, it¡¯s kind of obvious he wants me dead. That¡¯s why I¡¯m currently tied to a chair in my own house.

    ¡°Are you one of the goons that are after my family? You got the wrong person if you think that killing me will mean anything to them¡±

    Heughs loudly. Full on bellyugh. As if I said the funniest thing in the world.

    Fuck! I was hoping he would be part of the criminal gang that killed father. It would be so much easier to reason with him. To make him see that I don¡¯t mean a thing to Rowan or my family. If I¡¯m wrong and it¡¯s not the gang after me, then it means I am totally screwed.

    ¡°No darling, I¡¯m not part of any gang, but someone promised me a very good pay if I delivered the news of your untimely death¡± he tells me gruffly.

    I stare at him with shock. ¡°Someone is paying you to have me killed?¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t get paid till I get the job done and that¡¯s why I need you dead, you understand that right, darling¡±

    ¡°Stop calling me darling!¡± I ground out.

    My heart is beating wildly. I can¡¯t wrap my head around the fact that someone wants me dead so badly that he or she is offering payment if the job is done.

    I mean, I¡¯m not anyone important, so who the hell would want me dead? I have no enemies, well except for Emma, but Emma wouldn¡¯t go to that extent just to get me out of the way, right?

    We¡¯re rted by blood. Despite everything that has happened between us, she wouldn¡¯t want me dead. (2)

    ¡°Are you sure about that? People do crazy things in the name of love¡± my mind whispers.

    Damn it! I was now beginning to doubt my own sister. How F***ed up was that?

    I¡¯m pulled back to my thoughts when the sound of ss shattering hits my ears. I turn to the intruder.

    ¡°Oops, sorry¡± he mocks with a devious smirk on his face.

    The bastard had broken my ss intentionally. He stands up and starts pacing but not nervously.

    ¡°Now, how to do it. There is so many ways to kill you¡± he turns to face me. ¡°Do you have any preference on how you would like to die?¡±

    I cringe inside. I needed to leave. The man was clearly a psycho and I wasn¡¯t going to wait here hoping for Calvary to arrive. Besides, if my neighbors had seen anything, wouldn¡¯t the police already be here?

    ¡°No preference? I guess I¡¯ll just have to slit your throat. There is nothing more satisfying like watching the life of your victim leave their eyes¡± he says with an evil glint in his eyes.

    He takes out a knife and starts flicking it up and down. I had only one chance to escape, so I better use it well.

    I push myself backwards as hard as I can. I crash, my head hitting the floor hard. Pain radiates

    through my skull. Making the throb even worse.

    I breathe in through the pain. Shit, the movies made this seem so easy. It wasn¡¯t.

    ¡°What the F***?!¡± he growls in shock.

    With the chair broken, I¡¯m free. I don¡¯t give myself or him time to react. I get up quickly and start running towards the door while untying my hands.

    I don¡¯t get far because he crashes into me. Making me collide with the wooden floor. He turns me so that I am facing him.

    ¡°Did you honestly think it will be that easy to escape me?¡± he taunts.

    Bringing my legs up, I knee him in the balls, making him release a shout. I take off again not caring where I¡¯m going. I just wanted to be away from him.

    He recovers quickly, because soon after I feel a hand wrap around my ankle. He tugs and I fall with a thud again, hitting my chin against the floor. He¡¯s on me before I can recover.

    ¡°You bitch!¡± he shouts before pping me hard across the face.

    For a moment, I see stars and my vision blurs. Being hit by a man F***ing hurts.

    ¡°Just because of making things hard for me, I¡¯ll have my fun with you before killing you¡± he says evilly.

    I didn¡¯t need an interpreter to tell me what he meant. I feel his hands on my hips as he tries to drag my pajama pants down. Fear encases my bones. Is this how I was going to die? Raped then murdered in my own home.

    I fight him, but he pins my hands to my side. I still don¡¯t stop.

    ¡°Please stop. If money is what you want then I can give it to you¡± I plead.

    His hand was now inside my pants. His touch on my skin made me feel like retching. It felt like slimy warms were crawling on me.

    He chuckles. ¡°I don¡¯t know who you¡¯re trying to fool but I know you don¡¯t have money. Not the kind of money I¡¯m being offered, anyway¡±

    He goes back to his ministrations. Just when I think all hope is lost, I see themp I had dropped when he hit me on the head. I reach for it and smash it against his skull.

    He lets out a roar and falls back. The knife he had nned to use to kill me falls from his pocket.

    Not wasting any time, I take it and strike, plunging it in his thick thighs, right as my front door busts open.

    We both freeze in shock. With a curse, he recovers, quickly stands up and runs. Leaving through my back door

    Drakees rushing through my kitchen door with two other men, I don¡¯t recognize.

    He¡¯s bleeding from the head and looks like he¡¯s about to copse.

    ¡°You two get him. I want him caught at all cost¡± he tells them and they rush outside where the man escaped through.

    Drakees and helps me up just as we hear sirens. He leads me to the living room where he helps me take a seat,

    The police rush in, followed closely behind by Rowan and Ethan.

    ¡°Search the ce¡± the chief officermands and the police scramble to do his bidding, all except Ethan.

    My head was killing me. My chin was throbbing and I could already tell that my face was beginning to swell.

    ¡°How the hell did you let this happen, Drake?¡± Rowan snarlsing to my side, while Ethan takes the other.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry boss, he ambushed me and hit me on the back of the head.¡± he answers looking down. He was disappointed in himself, you could tell.

    ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± I ask softly, rubbing my temples.

    ¡°Drake was supposed to be protecting you!¡± Rowan answers through clenched teeth.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°He was supposed to watch over you, make sure you weren¡¯t harmed and he failed.¡± Rowan was angry and I just didn¡¯t have time to deal with him.

    If I hadn¡¯t been attacked and I was more myself, I would have questioned why he had Drake tailing me and why he didn¡¯t consult me first before making the decision. I was too tired though and I just wanted to sleep.

    ¡°Are you okay?¡± Ethan asks, his hand softly touching mine. Concern in his voice.

    His question and actions draws Rowan¡¯s attention to us. His jaw clenches even harder when he

    ¡°My head hurts¡± I whisper softly and tiredly. Fighting back the emotions that threatened to consume me.

    I was almost raped and killed. I still couldn¡¯t wrap my head around that.

    I just wantedfort. Toy my head on someone¡¯s shoulder but I didn¡¯t know whose it should be.

    Rowan, the man I¡¯ve known and loved all my life or Ethan the man that is slowly starting to mean something to me.

    Instead of choosing either, I decide toy my head on the back of the couch and close my eyes for a minute. It was now just starting to sink in that someone actually wanted me dead. That they had promised a huge amount of money if the man seeded.

    Question is, who the hell wanted me dead so badly?

 Chapter 27

    Rowan

    ¡°Boss?¡± Drake called, his voice unusually shaky.

    I disengage from Emma, who was lying on my chest while we watched a movie. It had taken a lot to finally get her to forgive me. I didn¡¯t mean to hurt her more than I already have. I wanted things to go back to how they were when we were younger.

    I was still confused as F*** and I didn¡¯t know what the hell I was doing. Kissing one sister while in a rtionship and in love with another. I can still feel the taste of Ava¡¯s l*ps days after but just like with everything about her, I push her and the k*ss to the back of my mind. 1

    I¡¯ve waited so long to be with Emma. I wasn¡¯t about to ruin my chances with her again. Whatever I was feeling for Ava was nothing. Apart from Noah, Emma was my world, she has always been. I wasn¡¯t going to let anything get in the way of that again.

    ¡°What?!¡± I ask him in irritation, pissed off that he interrupted my date night with Emma.

    Today I was supposed to spend the night at her ce. None of us wanted to go out, so we decided on a movie instead.

    He hesitates for a moment, which was uncharacteristic of him.

    ¡°Spit it out Drake, I don¡¯t have all F***ing night¡±

    Emma looks at me in question, but I just shake my head at her. I stand up and move a few feet away and she goes back to watching the movie.

    ¡°An intruder broke into Ava¡¯s house. I think it¡¯s the same person that has been after her¡±

    ¡°What?¡± I snarl.

    I don¡¯t hear anything after that. My heart is beating wildly. Fear gripping me like a F***ing vice. I start moving. Putting my shoes and coat on.

    ¡°Ro, what¡¯s wrong?¡± Emma asks worriedly.

    I see her mouth moving but her words don¡¯t register or make any sense. I just had this need to leave. To go and make sure that Ava was safe. That she was okay.

    ¡°I need to leave¡± I mumble and open her door.

    I hear her calling my name but I ignore her. My mind and focus on getting to Ava as soon as possible. It¡¯s like someone else was in control of my b*dy.

    I was on autopilot as I got down to the underground parking and get into my car. My heart breaking over and over again as I imagined the worst case scenario.

    How the F*** did he get into her house? Where the hell was Drake? I was going to fire his sorry ass and beat the shit out of him if so much as Ava¡¯s hair was harmed.

    Breaking all the speed limits, I get to her house just as the cops do. I notice neighborsing out of their homes, probably wondering why the cops were here at almost eleven o¡¯clock at night.

    I get into her house and my heart stops when I see her. She had a cut on her forehead, her l*p was split and the left side of her face red, as if she had been hit.

    Rage consumes me. It wasn¡¯t that long she was in the hospital and now this. I was going to kill whoever did this to her and I was going to make it F***ing painful.

    I take a seat on her right and turn my eyes to Drake. My fury directed at him, the need to bury him. alive consuming. He was supposed to be watching over her. What the F*** was I paying him for if he couldn¡¯t look after her?

    ¡°Are you okay?¡± the question draws my attention back to Ava.

    Ethan was holding her hand tenderly. I wanted nothing more than to rip her hand from his. He had no right holding her like she was his.

    ¡°My head hurts¡± she replies softly.

    I know Ava, and I know she was fighting back tears. I can¡¯t imagine what she felt when she was attacked. All alone in her house.

    She closes her eyes and leans her head back against the couch.

    ¡°Hey, keep your eyes open, talk to me¡­tell me what happened¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m really tired and I just want to go to sleep, Rowan¡± her voice is small.

    The vulnerability in her tone almost brings me down to my knees. I wanted nothing more than to pull her in my arms and hold her. Which was just weird because I¡¯ve never felt anything like this towards Ava.

    ¡°I know but you have to wait for the paramedics. We have to make sure you¡¯re okay¡±

    I wanted to ran my finger down her cheek but I stop myself. The action would just confuse the both of us further.

    ¡°Okay¡± she replied and opens her eyes.

    Brian cuts in. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, they¡¯ll be here any minute, meanwhile do you mind if I asked you a couple of questions?¡±

    Ava shakes her head and then winces.

    Fuck! I run my hand through my hair. She was hurting and it was wreaking havoc inside me.

    ¡°Good. Can you describe to me what the man that attacked you look like?¡± Brian asks her.

    She takes a deep breath. ¡°He had a mask on, so I can¡¯t tell you how he looked. But he had shaggy brown hair, he was fairly tall, maybe around six foot tall and he was built like a tank¡±

    ¡°Anything else?¡±

    ¡°No¡­that¡¯s all¡±

    ¡°Did he say anything? Like why he was after you?¡±

    ¡°Yes, he said he wasn¡¯t part of any gang but that someone promised to pay him a huge amount of money if he killed me. He didn¡¯t mention a name or who he was working for though¡± her hand was shaking by the time she finished speaking.

    The more I heard the F***ing scared and angry I became. I didn¡¯t want to imagine that someone was after her, but here was the proof. Staring right at us.

    ¡°So, I was right after all. Her attacks have nothing to do with the threats that were made on both families. Which means someone else is after her¡± Brian says more to himself than us.

    ¡°But why would anyone be after her?¡± Ethan asks the question that¡¯s been running rampant in my head.

    It didn¡¯t make any F***ing sense. Ava didn¡¯t have enemies mainly because she kept to herself. Her life consisted of her work and our son. So why would someone want her dead? And who could the person be?

    ¡°That¡¯s what I can¡¯t figure out for now¡± Brian answers frowning. ¡°The fact that whoever it is, is will go to any length to make sure the job is done¡±

    I was about to speak when an officer interrupts us.

    ¡°Sir, we found blood on the kitchen floor¡± he says.

    Brian turns to Ava. ¡°Is the blood yours or your attacker?¡±

    ¡°Probably his. I managed to hit him with amp and then stab him with his knife¡±

    For the first time since Ava¡¯s case began, Brian smiles. ¡°This is just perfect. Swipe the blood as evidence. We can run a DNA match on our systems and figure out who it belongs to¡±

    The cop quickly rushes back to do as he was told. Finally, maybe we can get this bastard and when we do, he won¡¯t live long enough to get to his trial date. I¡¯ll make sure of that.

    Jim and Mike enter the room.

    ¡°We weren¡¯t able to get him, boss¡± Jim informs me and Drake curses.

    ¡°How is it that a man that has been stabbed is able to escape you?¡± I asked in annoyance.

    Mike gulps. ¡°My guess is that he knows the area well, that he has been keeping in the shadows and watching her for some time. It¡¯s probably the reason why we never noticed him¡±

    ¡°That makes sense¡± Brian adds. ¡°He might have even been watching her for months and used the

    Reapers¡® involvement as the perfect cover up.¡®

    Reapers¡® Angels is the criminal gang that had threatened us.

    ¡°They were probably hoping to kill her that first time and no one would have been the wiser. We would all have thought that the Reapers were responsible for her death¡± Ethan concludes.

    ¡°Exactly¡± Brian agrees, snapping his fingers.

    I feel Ava shaking beside me just as the siren¡¯s for the medics are heard. Secondster they rush in. Two of them head for Ava while one heads for Drake. Both Ethan and I move to give them

    space to check out Ava.

    My phone rings and I pull it out of my pocket. I curse when I see Emma¡¯s name shing. Damn it! I hadpletely forgotten about her. I feel my frustration building up. Frustration at this situation with Ava and my rtionship with Emma.

    This time I¡¯m not sure she¡¯ll be an forgiving especially if she learns that I left her the moment i beard that Ava was attacked My reaction was was the problem. Even I can tell that my reaction was too strong especially for someone who ims to have no feelings towards his ex wife.

    How the hell was I going to exin to Emma that Ava meant nothing to me when I rushed to het the minute I heard she was in danger? Fuck my life. Things had just gotten moreplicated.

 Chapter 28

    Anonymous POV.

    I am pissed off. That is an understatement. I am beyond pissed off, I was downright furious. Once again she managed to escape me. Once again she survived when she was supposed to be dead.

    ¡°Tell me how the hell she¡¯s still alive?¡± I ask Ben.

    ¡°I swear I almost had her this time, I was this close to ending her but her bastard b*dyguard arrived and saved her¡± he muttered.

    Did the guy think that I was stupid? That I didn¡¯t know what the hell happened. I have gotten nothing but excuses from him since this whole operation started. Three times he failed to deliver her dead b*dy. The only thing that was positive about this, is that I haven¡¯t paid him yet. Imagine

    if I had paid him and yet he hasn¡¯t delivered.

    He was going to get half a million dors if he got the job done. That money should have motivated him enough to do his job and finish it within the time limit we agreed.

    I take a swig of my whisky. Frustration wing at me.

    ¡°Really? You almost had her, is that the reason why you are bleeding?¡± I cl*pped feeling angrier every minute I talked to the idiot.

    ¡°I promise I¡¯ll get her next time. She won¡¯t escape me again¡± he speaks, his eyes cast to the floor.

    ¡°She¡¯s already escaped you thrice!¡± I boomed, feeling the need to end is pathetic life.

    He doesn¡¯t speak. Instead he continues staring at the ground like it was interesting.

    He had set me back big time. This job was supposed to be done months ago and yet here we still are, with Ava alive and breathing.

    I asked around and was told he was good at his job. That he would be able to deliver. So far I¡¯ve gotten nothing from him except for empty promises.

    ¡°How is it that you¡¯re unable to kill one F***ing woman? How hard could it be to end her life?¡±

    It¡¯s something that I¡¯ve been wondering. How lucky can one be to escape death thrice? The third time is supposed to be the charm and yet she was still not dead. A bit banged up but that was all.

    ¡°I don¡¯t F***ing know¡± he snarls, frustration written all over his face. ¡°Killing someone has never been this hard, I usually get the job done on the first try¡±

    I start pacing in agitation. This was supposed to be easy. She was in my way. The only thing that was standing between me and what I wanted. I had hatched this n the moment I realized that to get what I wanted I needed her gone.

    At first I wanted to make it look an ident. Thest thing I needed was to have cops on my back after I went through all that trouble to get her out of my way. An opportunity to cover my tracks presented itself in the form of Reapers¡® Angels. Their involvement provided the perfect cover up.

    Now though, they had discovered that it was all a ploy. That the Reapers¡® weren¡¯t involved at all

    Soon they would be after Ben and then me. I didn¡¯t go through all this trouble just to lose in the end.

    ¡°Fuck!¡± I boomed, throwing my ss and smashing it against the wall

    I was running out of time. Right now I was supposed to be enjoying the fruits of mybor. I was supposed to be living the life, but instead I was not anywhere close to my goals. In fact it seemed I was gxies away from it.

    ¡°Give me onest chance¡± he pleads.

    I sneer, ¡°So you can fail again? I don¡¯t think so¡±

    What is it about the Ava that death doesn¡¯t seem to want to im her? I don¡¯t believe in any deity, but by the looks of things it seems there is someone above looking after her. It¡¯s not normal for someone to survive three attempts on their life unless there is divine intervention.

    She was the luckiest bitch I¡¯ve ever met. Her luck was starting to get on my nerves. I¡¯ve never lost before. I always get what I want, but Ava¡¯s death is proving to be difficult.

    ¡°I¡¯d like to see you do better¡± he scoffs, interrupting my thoughts.

    Hearing him mock me like that, my anger reaches its limit. Grabbing whatever I could get my hands on, I throw it in his direction. He doesn¡¯t get a chance to duck. The bottle of whiskey hits him straight on his arrogant face.

    I smile when I see blood trickle down his eye. His pain eases my anger just a little bit.

    ¡°Do you want to repeat what you just said?¡±

    He closes his mouth and clenches his teeth. Looking at me with unconcealed anger, he shakes his head. At least he knows how to keep his mouth shut.

    ¡°There has to be a way to take her out quickly. I¡¯ve already wasted enough time on her¡± I mutter more to myself.

    If it wasn¡¯t for the fact that I needed her dead for my n to work, I wouldn¡¯t have bothered. Ava was trouble and I was afraid that the more I tried killing her and she survived, the more I risked being caught. That can¡¯t happen, because it means losing everything I¡¯ve worked hard for.

    ¡°Look, she has already proved that she isn¡¯t easy to kill. If we add the fact that now the cops were involved and she is receiving protection from her billionaire husband, then it makes my work a whole lot difficult¡± his voice brings me back to the present.

    I clench my hands in bitterness at the mention of Rowan. I had already figured all that out. I didn¡¯t need him pointing it out for me, but I guess he wanted to make himself seem useful or something.

    I take a seat and think. If this was going to work then I needed a new n. The old one definitely failed, so I needed toe up with something different. Something that will take her out once and for all.

    So far I¡¯ve been focusing on her alone, this time I don¡¯t care who I have to take out in the process.

    If I have to bring down a whole building down just because she¡¯s inside, then that¡¯s what I¡¯ll do.

    Provided she dies, i don¡¯t care who dies along with her.

    A smile breaks free and my heart settles down. Feeling calm now that I had a solution or sort of a solution.

    ¡°You¡¯re smiling, have youe up with a n¡± my eyes focus on Ben. He looks at me expectantly.

    His blood was collected for DNA. I needed to deal with that before they match him. He has a criminal record so it won¡¯t be hard to connect him. I couldn¡¯t have that.

    ¡°As a matter of fact, yes¡± I smirk and stand up

    He smirks back. Satisfaction radiating on his face.

    This time around, Ava was going to die. Even if I have to kill her myself.

 Chapter 29

    Ava.

    I am still recovering from my attack. I am mentally and physically battered and I just want all this to be over. Three times someone has tried to kill me. Three times I managed to survive. I just don¡¯t know when my luck will run out because at this point whoever wants me dead seems hell¨Cbent on making sure I don¡¯t see Noah again.

    I shiver when I remember how close to meeting my maker I had been. He had been right there in my house. He¡¯d nned to rape me there before killing me. Tears fill my eyes and it takes everything in me not to let them fall.

    I¡¯ve cried enough this past few days. I was tired of it, but I just didn¡¯t understand why. Why would anyone want me dead? I haven¡¯t wronged anyone, well except for Emma. Even with her, she was now with Rowan so that should have absolved me of my sins. I didn¡¯t deserve what was happening to me.

    My greatest fear was that they seed. It would mean that I don¡¯t get to see my boy growing up.

    That I would miss all the milestones in his life and it saddened me. The thought of that potential future broke my heart into a million different pieces.

    ¡°Are you okay miss?¡± someone asks me.

    I look up to find an elderly woman staring at me with concern. Her kind eyes assessing my face. It was still a bit bruised but at least the swelling had gone down. Now I just had the healing l*p, ck eye and purple cheek.

    ¡°I¡¯m okay, thank you¡± I try to smile, but I just don¡¯t feel like it.

    I¡¯ve been in a kind of funk since my attack happened. I¡¯m just going through the motions. Nothing feels real, it all just feels like a bad dream. I was still waiting for myself to wake up. Deep down I know that this is real, but a part of me thinks if just pretend then it will all go away.

    ¡°You don¡¯t look okay¡­Do you want me to call someone for you?¡± she asks.

    If only everyone was like this woman, then the world would be a better ce. I¡¯m a stranger to her, yet she approached me in the middle of an isle in a store because she noticed that I was losing it.

    ¡°There is no need. I¡¯m okay, just a bit overwhelmed¡± I assure her.

    She looks at me skeptically. I force myself to smile. I was grateful for her concern, but I just wanted to be left alone.

    She gets closer and squeezes my hand. ¡°Things will get better. Always have faith¡±

    With that she gives me one final look before leaving. I heave a sigh of relief before going back to looking at the rows of soup containers.

    ¡°Wow, you look like hell¡± the annoying mocking voice cause me to turn sharply.

    Damn it, I wasn¡¯t in any mood to deal with her.

    I try to ignore her, but like always it seems like she wants to pick a fight.

    ¡°Did someone finally put your in ce when you tried stealing her man too?¡± Christine, Rowan¡¯s secretary sneers.

    I clench my hands in fists. She was baiting me and I knew it. Everyone in the city knew what happened to me. Someone had managed to leak the story and the media had been running wild with it. They had also managed to find out about the previous attempts on my life. So far Rowan was trying to find out who had leaked the story after he had buried the other two.

    Christine has never liked me. She would always take any chance she got to put me down and tear me a part. Of course Rowan never believed me when I told him she was a bitch to me. He always took her side, iming that I¡¯m the one that probably provoked her first.

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure what you¡¯re trying to achieve when I know you know full well exactly what happened to me¡± I tell her calmly.

    ¡°I¡¯m not trying to achieve anything just stating facts. I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if whoever wanted you dead was a woman you tried stealing her man, after all, that¡¯s what you are good at. Stealing other women¡¯s men because you¡¯re a slut¡±

    I run my eyes down her b*dy then back up. She looked elegant and impable like always while I looked like I had gone a few rounds with a MMA fighter.

    ¡°All these years and you still tell me the same things, don¡¯t you evere up with something new? It¡¯s tiring hearing the same shit over and over again¡± I mock.

    She looks at me shocked, Probably because I talked back. It¡¯s something I¡¯ve never done. Always afraid of fighting back and getting on Rowan¡¯s bad side. This time though, I had nothing to lose.

    She recovers quickly and gives me an evil smile. ¡°How does it feel to lose Rowan? Does it hurt knowing that he¡¯s with your sister right now?¡±

    Of course it hurts, sometimes, but I¡¯m slowly starting to let go of him. I¡¯m slowly starting to kill the love I have for him. It also helps that Ethan distracts me from thoughts of my ex¨Chusband.

    ¡°Christine, you did everything to get me out of the way thinking Rowan will notice you. Even when we were married, you tried your best to seduce him but he never reciprocated. Sure, he didn¡¯t love me but I was his wife while you were nothing but a mere secretary one he had no interest in. So, I pose the same question back, how does it feel to know you will never be his woman? That he will never see you as anything other than his secretary. How does it feel to know that he doesn¡¯t consider you woman enough? That he preferred to F*** me even though he hated me rather than take you as his mistress? And how does it feel to know that you won¡¯t stand a chance now that Emma was back?¡± I smirk, feeling happy that I finally spoke up.

    ¡°You ugly bitch!¡± she snarls before lunging at me.

    I manage to side step her in time and she trips on her extremely high and expensive heels.

    Getting up quickly shees at me. I don¡¯t think when I take the carton of milk in my cart and throw it at her.

    I watch as it drenches her dress. Both of us staring in shock. With what I can only describe as a war cry, shees at me. Seething and screaming like a banshee. I take whatever I can get my hands on and throw it at her.

    We attract a small crowd and one or two of them had their phones out. It was a damn mess. Just as she was about to p me, someone grabs her by the waist. Another on grabs me and pulls me in the opposite direction.

    ¡°Let me go!¡± I scream.

    They don¡¯t listen. Not until I¡¯m pushed outside the store. The other guy soon arrives with

    Christine, who was kicking and screaming.

    ¡°You two are banned from this store. If I so much as see you near it, I will call the cops on you¡± a man who I assume is the manager seethes before he walks back inside the store.

    ¡°This is all you damn fault¡± Christine screams.

    ¡°My fault? I¡¯m not the one who attacked first. I was just defending myself from a deranged woman who wanted to harm me¡±

    ¡°I swear you¡¯ll pay for this Ava. Mark my words¡± with that she turns and stomps away.

    I sigh and head towards my beat up car. I get up and drive home with mixed feelings. Happy that I had finally put Christine in her ce and angry that I had let her taunts get to me.

    It¡¯s not a secret that she¡¯d always wanted Rowan. Rowan never noticed her and her desire though, so she took out his rejection out on me. I push those thoughts away and focus on driving.

    For the first time since this day started, I feel happiness when I pull into my driveway and see Ethan seated on the steps to my house. I park my car and get out.

    ¡°Where were you?¡± he asks standing up. ¡°I was worried when I called you and you didn¡¯t pick up¡±

    ¡°Sorry! I forgot it at home when I went to the store to buy some groceries¡± I answer him as I open the door.

    I usher him inside and lead him to the kitchen.

    ¡°Really? So where are the groceries?¡±

    I look at him sheepishly. ¡°I got into a fight with someone and I got kicked out of the store. In fact they banned me from ever stepping a foot there¡±

    ¡°What?!¡± he snarls.

    ¡°I know it was foolish of me but Christine has been bitch to me for as long as I can remember. I was just tired of putting up with her¡± I answer in a low voice.

    I waited for him to berate me for my actions. It¡¯s something that Rowan would do. He would tell me to stop acting like a child and to grow up. To stop seeking attention by getting into fights with his secretary.

    To my surprise, Ethan pulls me into his arms. His hand resting on my hip. He tips my chin up so that I¡¯m staring at his hypnotizing blue eyes.

    ¡°I¡¯m d you are okay, that she didn¡¯t hurt you¡± he begins. ¡°You should never feel bad for defending yourself, Ava. Whether it¡¯s mentally or physically. I¡¯m proud of you, proud that you finally put her in her ce¡±

    I¡¯m mesmerized by him. His eyes, his strong jawline, his l*ps. It¡¯s like he cast a spell on me. I watch in a trance as his head lowers. My heart beating wildly in my chest. His l*ps connect with mine, his tongue tangles with mine, sealing our mouths together.

 Chapter 30

    ?Chapter 30

    "Are you sure about what you''re doing, Ava?" Letty asks me in concern.

    I was getting ready to go to Noah''s school. Today was the parent/teacher meeting that was held annually and was supposed to meet Rowan there.

    Letty had called to know if we could hang out since we haven''t seen each other in a while. When I was attacked she had been in Japan with Travis for a business deal. She got back the day before yesterday.

    "I''m sure, I think this is the best way to get over Rowan. I mean, how will I fall in love with someone else if I don''t put myself out there and date?"

    I had told her about the kiss that happened with Ethan. In the past few days there have been more of them though we haven''t gone any further.

    *Sure, but don''t you think you''re moving a little bit fast...how long have you known him?" she interrupts my thought.

    *Just over three months....wait, why do you seem so against him now? A few weeks back you were encouraging me to go out with him, hell you were even eager to know if we had kissed after that first date, so what changed?" | was puzzled honestly not sure why she had a change of heart.

    I put on my ts as I wait for her to answer. Since it was in the afternoon, I decide to go casual, so I went with jeans and a camisole.

    "Yes, but that was before I realized that you''re going about it the wrong way. If you''re going to date, date him because you''re ready, date him because you like him. Not because you''re using him as a means to get over another man. I think you''re on the rebound and rebound rtionships don''t end up well especially for woman like you

    I stop what I''m doing. "What do you mean women like me?" I ask in annoyance and a bit offended.

    "You have no experience at all when ites to men and rtionships. You''ve been with one man since you were eighteen and you rtionship wasn''t that great. I''m just afraid that you don''t know what you''re doing or what you''re getting yourself into"

    "I know what..." she cuts me off before I finish.

    "Have you two even talked about what you both want? Do you have the same goals when ites to the direction of your rtionship?" she finishes in one breath.

    "Whoa, who is rushing things now? Today will be our second date, Letty. It''s too early to figure out all those things don''t you think? We''re still in the trial base"

    I was going to have dinner with Ethan at his apartment. He had invited me over after we shared our first kiss, promising to cook me the best meal I''ve ever tasted.

    She sighs as if she''s dealing with a stubborn child. "I just want you to be sure you''re dating him for the right reasons. Using one guy to get over another never works. It just makes shitplicated."

    "I hear you" I tell her dismissively. "Now, I have to hang up since I''m about to leave"

    *Fine. We''re still on for Wednesday, right?"

    "Definitely"

    After saying goodbye, I hang up. I check the time and it was one in the afternoon. I was still irritated with this meeting. I mean, who holds a parent/teacher meeting on Saturday. As if that wasn''t bad enough, they schedule it for afternoon?

    After taking what I need, I lock up and leave. I get into my car and drive off.

    As I drove, I couldn''t help but think about what Letty said. She was right, I had no experience with the dating

    scene. I didn''t know what Ethan wanted or expected. Did he want a rtionship or just a fuck buddy?

    What did I want? Was I using him or did I genuinely want him? I didn''t want to confuse things or myself for that matter. I was determined to get over Rowan, but was I going about it in right way?

    I didn''t want to hurt Ethan, especially if he is genuinely interested in having a rtionship with me, but parts of me fear that I''ve grown an unhealthy attachment to him.

    He makes me forget about Rowan and my love for him. I''m afraid that''s the main reason I''m drawn to him.

    Even though it looks bad, I can''t help thinking, is it really bad? We all want someone for one reason or another. Is it wrong to want Ethan because he makes me forget about my pain and heartbreak?

    A horn ring behind me makes me jump. I had been so deep in thought that I didn''t even realize that I was already at Noah''s school.

    I drive to the parking lot, turn the ignition off and get out. I survey the expensive cars lining the lot. I begin walking and notice some of the parents sneering at me. Of course my car wasn''t expensive and I wasn''t dressed head to toe in Gi.

    This is one of the things I hated about this world. These people ced social status and the size of your bank ount above everything else. They look down on people who they view as poor and they don''t even bother hiding their disdain for them.

    I''ve grown up around wealth but I swore from a young age never to be like them. Never to ce money above the value of another person.

    I take a seat that was avable and wait. I watch as the other parents and their children walk in and out of the school.

    I check my watch. It was already three and Rowan wasn''t here yet.

    Taking out my phone, I call him. It goes straight to voice mail. With each second that passes, I feel my anger rise. Two hourster, I''ve had enough so I call Gabe.

    "Hello?" he answers gruffly.

    "Hi, Gabriel, it''s me, Ava..." he cuts me off before I can finish.

    "I know it''s you, Ava, I have your number"

    I''m quiet for a while. Surprised that he had my number given he used to me me for ruining his brother''s life and destroying his chance at happiness with Emma.

    "Uh, okay" I mutter unintelligently before recovering. "Listen, I''m looking for Rowan. Is he with you? We were supposed to meet with Noah''s teacher. He is not here yet and his phone is off. I''ve been here for three hours. Mrs. Smith is done with the other parents and she''s ready to leave"

    When she told me she was almost done, I begged her to give me a few more minutes to try and reach Rowan. "He''s not with me. He took Emma somewhere" he tells me almost apologetically, but I don''t need his sympathy. "Okay, thanks." I don''t give him a chance to say anything before hanging up.

    I was in trance. Wondering what had gotten into Rowan that he forgot something so important.

    When Mrs. Smith calls me again, I go in. It seemed like Rowan wasn''t going to show up anyway.

    Since Noah wasn''t physically here like the other kids, we settle on a video call with him. He''s excited at first, but then his face falls when he realizes that Rowan wasn''t present.

    The entire time Mrs. Smith talks about Noah''s excellent and ster performance in school, my anger rises up. Noah was sad and his face showed. I hated seeing him like this.

    By the time we''re done, I was beyond furious.

    I force a smile and thank Noah''s teacher before leaving the ssroom.

    "Why didn''t hee mommy? He promised me he would. I wanted him to hear what a good student I was. That I was top of my ss" he says sadly, tears filling his eyes.

    I wanted to reach out and hold him but he was thousands of miles away.

    "I''m so sorry, baby... May be he got caught up with work"

    "But he promised me!" he shouts through the screen. "He said he will never break his promises and he did" he was full crying now and it tore me down to pieces.

    Mother and Joyce, Rowan''s mom came tofort him. I wanted to be there for him and it killed me that I couldn''t.

    "He''ll make it up to you, my love...remember he loves you and he has never missed any of your functions" I try to soothe him.

    He doesn''t answer. Just continues staring into nothing with silent tears running down his face. He looks so lost. When he doesn''t move or say anything, Joyce tells me that they''ll look after him before ending the call.

    I stomp out of the school and head towards the parking lot. Most cars were already gone.

    I was just about to get into my own when I see Rowan''s ck Mercedes drives in. He parks, gets out and rushes to me.

    "I''m so fucking sorry I''mte... is the meeting over?" he was dressed casually, something that is very rare for him. "Obviously, given it''s almost six thirty... four fucking hours after you were supposed to be here I shout.

    I was so pissed that I contemted on murder

    "I know you''re angry, but...

    "Angry doesn''t begin to cover what I fucking feel right now Rowan"

    "Ava..."

    "No! Do you know I had to call Gabe? Imagine my shock when I learned you were out with Emma. I don''t even fucking care that you were with her.

    You promised you will be here. I was waiting like a damn fool for you when you were out with her during a meeting our son was looking forward to!" I ran my hands through my hair.

    A teacher walks past us. She gives us a small wave before climbing into her car. I tried mastering a smile but I just couldn''t.

    "You''re right and I''m sorry" he says remorsefully.

    "What happened Rowan? You never ever forgot something that concerned Noah. Now Emma is back and she takes priority? So much so you forget Noah? Is this how it''s going to be now that she''s back?" I ask him, calming down but not entirely.

    "It''s not going to happen again" he fists his hand in determination.

    "But that''s the thing it''s already happened, what''s stopping it from happening again?"

    He doesn''t answer. Just stares at me with a scowl on his face and fire burning behind his eyes.

    "I won''t let you hurt my son Rowan, whether internationally or unintentionally. Noah''ses first and if you can''t put him first then give me full custody. I had to watch his heart break when he realized you weren''ting. Let this be the first andst time you hurt him, because if you do I will fight you.

    Noah is my son, my world. Hurt him again and I will forget you''re his father. Doesn''t matter if you own this city, I will rain so much hell on you, you''ll be left wishing you never met me. Don''t fucking mess with me'' I let my anger and determination seep into my voice.

    He looks taken aback by my outburst and threat. He stares at me like he didnt know who I was. I ignore that look.

    With that final warning I get in my car and leave. I drive to the only person I know can cure me of the pain and anger I was feeling right now.

 Chapter 31

    I don¡¯t like her

    Rowan.

    I stare at my hands. My mom speaks softly to me. ¡°I¡¯m sorry Ro, but he refuses toe to talk to

    you¡±

    I¡¯ve never been this hurt. Not even when Emma broke up with me and left. Noah is angry with me

    and has refused to answer my calls. Ava was right, Noah shoulde first and yet I let him down.

    I¡¯d decided to take Emma out on my yacht. It was to afford us privacy to talk. She wasn¡¯t very happy

    after she learned that I had left her to rush to Ava¡¯s side. It was my way of making it up to her.

    Unfortunately I¡¯d lostplete track of time and my phone¡¯s battery died.

    I¡¯ve never seen Ava angry, and yesterday she took me by surprise. The fact that she stood up for Noah

    and called me out on my behavior left me feeling sort of proud of her. She had a back bone.

    after all. It was nice to see that.

    ¡°Rowan?¡± my mom calls out. ¡°I¡¯m going to hang up now¡±

    ¡°No, please bring him to the phone. I want to apologize to him¡±

    Never has Noah ever refused to talk to me. It was crushing me to know that I had let him down. That I

    had broken my promise to him.

    Mom sighs. ¡°You hurt him, Rowan. He was so excited yesterday. He was looking forward to you

    hearing all his aplishments.

    He cried while he was talking to Ava after the meeting. Noah never cries and yet you managed to bring

    forth tears from him¡±

    I stare at the wall feeling like the worst scum of the world. I didn¡¯t have a fucking excuse. I should have

    been in school like I had promised. Instead I was enticing Emma into forgiving me yet again.

    ¡°I know that¡­I heave a breath out, feeling defeated.

    ¡°Do you? You¡¯re not the one who had to watch him cry and console him. I¡¯m happy that Emma is back

    so you can stop hurting and I understand you two are trying to work things out but that doesn¡¯t mean

    you neglect your responsibilities. You have a son Rowan, he should alwayse first

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to tell me that, Ava already chewed my ear off yesterday¡± I ran my hand through

    ¡°As she should. She¡¯s a mother and we mothers will do anything for our child even if it means going up

    against their dad¡± she finishes, shocking mepletely.

    Never and I mean never has my mother ever taken Ava¡¯s side. If there was someone who was

    against Ava from the start, it¡¯s my mother.

    ¡°I get it, but can you please try and coerce him into talking to me?¡± I beg her, something I¡¯m not

    used to.

    She pauses for a while before agreeing. I stay on the phone. Minutes pass and I almost hang up in

    surrender.

    ¡°Hello¡±es Noah¡¯s soft voice.

    ¡°Hey bud¡± I begin not really sure what to tell him. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry I didn¡¯t make it to your school yesterday.

    I got held up somewhere and lost track of time, but I was told that¡­¡±

    He cuts me off before I can finish my sentence.

    ¡°It¡¯s because of her isn¡¯t it? Mommy¡¯s sister. She¡¯s the reason why you didn¡¯t go to my teacher¡¯s

    meeting¡± his words catch me off guard.

    I can¡¯t help the anger that I feel slowly rising. Did Ava tell him about Emma? Was it a way for her to

    spite me?

    ¡°Who told you this, is it your mother?¡± I ask trying to force the anger down

    ¡°I¡¯m eight not stupid dad, mommy didn¡¯t tell me anything¡± I hear a change in his voice and frown.

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°I saw her in your house that day I called. What was she doing there at night if she¡¯s not your girlfriend?

    I asked mommy and she told me that I should talk about it with you¡± he answers leaving me shocked

    yet again.

    Emma has been to my home twice, I didn¡¯t know that during one of those times, Noah had seen het 1

    thought that I would have time before I tell him everything

    ¡°Buddy

    ¡°Just know that I don¡¯t like her, I will never ept her if you marry her.¡± He states firmly

    Fuck, why the hell did I think that Noah would ept her? He was loyal to Ava. Sometimes I

    think he loves her more. 2

    ¡°Is it because she¡¯s not your mother?¡± maybe he just had a problem with Emma because she

    wasn¡¯t his mother. Maybe he just feels like she¡¯s taking his mother¡¯s ce.

    ¡°I just don¡¯t like. Plus she¡¯s mommy¡¯s sister, that¡¯s just wrong dad¡± he says as a matter of fact. 2

    Is it a coincidence that Noah shares the same dislike Ava has for Emma? Could it be that she has

    been poisoning our son against Emma? I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if she was. 2

    ¡°Listen, Noah, I¡¯m dating Emma and I expect you to treat her with respect. One day I¡¯ll probably

    marry her and she¡¯ll be your step mother. You¡¯ll have to get used to seeing her around¡±

    I needed to nip whatever was growing inside him. Noah had to understand that Emma wasn¡¯t

    going anywhere.

    ¡°Never¡± he shouts defiantly through the phone.

    ¡°Noah¡­¡±

    ¡°If you like her then fine but just know I will never ept her. I will never like her and she will

    never be any kind of mother to me.¡± He all but growls.

    Before I can say anything else, he hangs up the phone. I immediately call again but it¡¯s switched off. I

    stare at my phone dumbfounded. Not understanding what the hell had gotten into him.

    He has never been hateful towards anyone, but for some reason he hates Emma even though he

    doesn¡¯t even know. 3

    I feel like I¡¯ve just made everything worse. That he was now even more pissed at me.

    I don¡¯t get the time to dwell on those thoughts. The door to my mansion opens and Emma walks in

    smiling. I had given her a key a few weeks back.

    I look at her beautiful face. We were finally together after such a long fucking time. I thought that

    things would fall into ce and yet the opposite seemed to be happening. Everything seemed to

    be working against us.

    ¡°Rowan?¡± she calls me

    ¡°What Emma?¡± I was frustrated by Noah¡¯s behavior and his reaction towards Emma.

    How could I be with her if son is against it? What the fuck was I supposed to do.

    ¡°Talk to me Ro, you know I¡¯m here for you¡± she pleads.

    Her broken voice makes me look at her. Her eyes were pleading. Like she truly wanted to share in

    what was weighing me down.

    I ran my hand through my hair and release a sigh.

    ¡°I got into a disagreement with Noah¡± I confess.

    A frown mars her beautiful face. ¡°Is it about yesterday?¡±

    ¡°Part of it, but majority is that he saw you here one day. He doesn¡¯t like it and apparently he

    doesn¡¯t like you. How am I supposed to deal with this? I love you both and I will never choose. So

    how am I supposed to be with you when my son doesn¡¯t like you?¡± I ask. Noah had ced me in a

    hard ce. @

    She¡¯s quiet for a while. She stares into nothing before her blue eyese back to mine.

    ¡°Is this the reason why you¡¯ve been distant? I¡¯ve been back for a couple of months and you¡¯re yet to

    kiss me or touch me. Is Noah¡¯s reluctance to ept me holding you back?¡±

    What could I fucking say? Every time I want to kiss her or she wants to kiss me, something hold

    me back. Instead I find myself pushing her away or pecking her cheek or forehead but never her

    mouth.

    Is something wrong with because I just didn¡¯t understand. I¡¯ve pinning for this woman since I was

    twenty one and now that I have her, I can¡¯t even bring myself to kiss her.

    ¡°Yes¡± I lie to her. There was no need to hurt her more than I already have.

    We stay quiet. My mind reeling from my thoughts.

 Chapter 32

    Dead to me

    Ava.

    I was happy today. Not only had my dinner date with Ethan gone well, but I was going to go back to

    work tomorrow and the day after that will be my birthday.

    Just like I had predicted on Saturday, Ethan had managed to help me forget. A few minutes after

    getting to his ce, I was alreadyughing my ass off.

    He cooked, and he didn¡¯t disappoint. The food was absolutely delicious. There was just something

    about a man that can cook and make youugh. It ended up being a happy and fun night. It got better

    when I came back home and I was able to talk to Noah.

    He had calmed down a bit. We chatted about everything and nothing at all, before he fell asleep still on

    the phone. It had been the highlight of my day.

    I was baking when someone knocked on my door. I was craving somefort food so I decided on

    cookies and chocte cake.

    Wiping my hands with the kitchen towel, I went and opened my door. Part of me was shocked when I

    came face to face with Emma. The other part wasn¡¯t. 1

    ¡°What do you want, Emma?¡± I ask in irritation.

    The fact that she was here didn¡¯t spell good things. Thest time she was here, I was almost killed a

    couple of hours after fighting with her.

    Her face is stony when she answers ¡°We need to talk¡±

    My whole being rebelled against the idea. Against my better judgement I let her in and lead her to my

    living room 2

    ¡°Say what you came to say and the leave¡± I take a sea and watch carefully as she does the same.

    She is quiet as she surveys my home. She sneers after her inspection is over,

    I roll my eyes. Of course this doesn¡¯t meet her standards It isn¡¯t shy nor expensive. It was simple and

    homely.

    ¡°Are you going to smeei at my home the whole day or are you going to talk? 1lean back into the chat

    and study her.

    I doubt Emma knew the difference between a home and a house. Mine was a home, it had a

    warmth to it while what Emma liked was a huge expensive house that looks clinical and cold.

    Tm here to tell you to stay away from Noalt¡± she says crossing her legs.

    I sigh ¡°Seriously? You came all the way to my house for this nonsense again?¡±

    I was getting tired of repeating the same thing over and over again. How will I make her understand

    that I wasn¡¯t one bit interested in Rowan?

    The man has caused me so much heartache, so why would I want him back?

    ¡°It¡¯s not nonsense. He wants to move on with me but you keep dragging him back to you. Can¡¯t you just

    let him go? He doesn¡¯t love you for heaven¡¯s sake!¡±

    Thest sentence shouldn¡¯t hurt but it does. I don¡¯t want to be reminded that I fell in love with a man

    that hates me. That even after years of trying, his heart still remained inessible to me.

    ¡°And how have I dragged him back? hmm?¡±

    ¡°The attack two weeks ago. He rushed here in the middle of our movie night just because he heard you

    were hurt¡±

    I shake my head at her. She¡¯s considered to be the topwyer yet she was dumber than an ostrich.

    ¡°How¡¯s that my fault, Emma. He is your man so why don¡¯t you put a fucking leash on him¡± I snap.

    Why the hell were we even having this conversation? Didn¡¯t she realize that she won? That she got the

    guy? That I wanted nothing more than to move on with my life.

    I found a great man and I was hoping my rtionship with Ethan will lead somewhere. I didn¡¯t want the

    drama with Emma and Rowan affecting what we were building.

    ¡°I still think that you¡¯re doing all these things to get attention and sympathy from him¡± she mocks,

    sneering at me like she said the most intelligent thing.

    ¡°Get out!¡± I stand up and point at the direction of the door.

    I was done with her nonsense. I won¡¯t allow her to tarnish the joy I was feeling today.

    She stands up too. ¡°What? You don¡¯t like that I¡¯ve discovered your n. It¡¯s only a matter of time before

    everyone realizes that all these attacks are fake¡±

    ¡°Are you done showing me how stupid you are?¡± I ask. ¡°You think I¡¯m faking these attacks, but do you

    want to know what I think? I think you¡¯re behind them. I have no enemies except for you and who would

    benefit if I were to tragically die? It¡¯s you.

    With me out of the way you have Rowan all to yourself and you won¡¯t have to deal with seeing me

    around because full custody will go to Rowan¡±

    She stares at me as if in shock. Either she¡¯s shocked that I figured it out or shocked that I brazenly

    used her. I¡¯ve been thinking about it a lot and it made sense.

    Emma could want me dead because of two things. One, revenge and two to cut me offpletely ?

    from Rowan¡¯s life because for some stupid reason she felt threatened by me.

    ¡°How dare you!¡± she screams at me.

    ¡°No, how dare you,e to my home spouting bullshit. We¡¯re no longer kids, Emma, so grow up and

    act like the fucking adult you are¡­ Now leave, I¡¯m done with your nonsense¡± 1

    She¡¯s angry. It¡¯s written all over her face. I¡¯m sure if looks could kill then I would be an ancestor by now.

    It doesn¡¯t faze me though. I wasn¡¯t going to let any of them walk all over me.

    I tap my legs impatiently. ¡°Are you going to leave or do you want me to drag you out?¡±

    With a click of her tongues she turns to leave and I sigh in relief. That moment of relief soon ends when

    she turns to me.

    ¡°One more thing, keep your freaking son out of my business¡± she says angrily.

    ¡°What did you just say?¡± my voice takes on a warning note.

    I must have heard her wrong because she didn¡¯t just curse at Noah.

    ¡°I won¡¯t let him get in the way of my rtionship simply because he doesn¡¯t like me. He¡¯s a damn brat

    and once I¡¯m married to Rowan, I¡¯m going to have him shipped to a boarding school. Who does he

    think he is? He¡¯s still a dam kid and he has no say in adult issues. So you either control the brat or I

    sear you¡¯ll be seeing twice every year

    The sound that echoes takes her by surprise. She swivels her head in my direction. Her hand cradling

    her check

    ¡°Did you just p me?¡± her wide eyes begin to fill with tears.

    My hand was tingling from the impact, but I ignored it ¡°Yes, and if you don¡¯t fucking lears rights

    ¡°You¡¯ll pay for this¡± she screams before stomping out of my house and banging the door behind

    her.

    How could Rowan want such a woman around Noah? I still couldn¡¯t believe the vile things she

    said about my son. What the hell happened to Emma? She was never this cruel, aloof yes, but

    never cruel.

    I lean against the wall and catch my breath. My day was now ruined. The happiness I was feeling a few

    minutes ago had vanished.

    The oven dings and I go to take out the cookies. I look at them but the excitement to eat them was now

    gone. Leaving them to cool, I instead go and watch a movie.

    An hourter and my mind was still in turmoil. I didn¡¯t even know what the movie was about. Deciding

    to take a bath, I switch off the TV.

    I was just walking upstairs when the continuous ringing of my doorbell stops me. I sigh in defeat and go

    to open it, thinking it was one of the many girl or boy scout selling cookies.

    Staring at the angry face of Rowan makes me wish I hadn¡¯t opened my door. Before I can react, he

    pushes me inside then closes the door. He continuous pushing until we stop at the space between the

    foyer, kitchen and living room.

    ¡°What the fuck is wrong with you?¡± Rowan booms, making me shiver from his anger.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Did you think that Emma wouldn¡¯t tell me? Or did you think I wouldn¡¯t notice the hand imprint left of her

    cheek by you¡±

    He starts pacing. His words sink in and it dawns on me the reason why he was here.

    ¡°You don¡¯t understand¡± I try to exin my reasons but he doesn¡¯t let me.

    ¡°Understand what? That you pped her for no apparent reason? That you used her of being the

    one after you when you have no fucking proof? Or do you want me to understand all the vile things you

    told her he advances, his eyes zing.

    I don¡¯t know what she told him but I¡¯m sure she lied and didn¡¯t tell him everything.

    won¡¯t let you hurt Emma, you get me, Ava? If you so much as every your filthy hands on her

    her¡± he warns, his voice dangerously low.

    This was a side to Rowan I¡¯ve never seen and for the first time in my life, I was scared of him

    ¡°Rowan, it wasn¡¯t like that, she¡­¡±

    He cuts me off. ¡°She what? Fought back against your insults and told you I never loved you? She

    was fucking right. Listen to me and listen good, Ava, you¡¯re nothing and you will remain to be

    nothing. You brag to her about sleeping with me when the truth is I fucked you because you were

    convenient.¡± He said with an evil glint in his eyes.

    ¡°Please stop¡± I pleaded with him but he didn¡¯t.

    ¡°You tried being descent fuck but you weren¡¯t even good at it. Every time I was inside you, it¡¯s Emma I

    wanted, it¡¯s Emma I imagined beneath me. Every time I cummed, it¡¯s her face I saw. You were nothing

    special, just easy and so I used you. I used you like the fucking slut you are¡±

    For the second time that day, I pped someone. His head swivels from the impact of my hand. Tears

    were rolling down my face. Every word he said cutting me to pieces.

    ¡°Leave Rowan, and never step foot inside my house again. Take your bodyguards with you. I don¡¯t

    want or need your help and I don¡¯t you anywhere near me ever again. From today you¡¯re dead to me¡± I

    tell him brokenly, the fightpletely leaving my body.

    I turn around and take the first step up the stairs. I stop but I don¡¯t look back at him.

    ¡°I¡¯m giving you two minutes to leave before I call the cops on you.¡± I warn before continuing up the

    stairs.

    I get in to my room and lock it. Minutester I hear him leave. Once he does, I fall to the ground and

    break. a

    Rowan just destroyed me and he didn¡¯t even need any weapon. His words havepletely. shattered

    my soul, probably leaying nothing behind.

    I continue crying. The tears pouring from me endlessly. My chest felt constricted and my heart was in

    pieces. He broke me over lies told by a jealous woman.

    I was going to pick myself up. I was going to move forward, but for every hurtful word he threw at me.

    Karma was going to get him and that bitch that calls herself my sister. For what he has done today, I

    will never forgive him nor forget.

 Chapter 33

    Drowning my pain

    My phone rings for the hundredth time today. Letty¡¯s name shes but just like those other times,

    I ignore her calls. She¡¯s been trying to call me since yesterday.

    I wasn¡¯t in the right frame of mind to talk to her. She was still connected to the world and people I

    wanted to stay away from. That left me at crossroads. 1

    ¡°Give me another¡± I ask the bartender immediately after my phone stops ringing.

    Today was my birthday and this is how I was celebrating it. Alone in a bar, drinking some fruity kind of

    concoction, still hurting from Rowan¡¯s vile words.

    I¡¯ve tried so much to push those thoughts away. I¡¯ve tried harder to forget every word he threw at me,

    but it¡¯s hard. They¡¯re imprinted in my damn head like a fucking tattoo.

    We¡¯ve been married for years, yet it never crossed my mind that he thought of me as nothing but a slut.

    That he was using me as a substitute for Emma in bed. My heart has broken over and over again since

    that day at my house.

    I should have been surprised that he chose to believe every single word Emma said but I¡¯m not. It¡¯s

    typical of him to believe everyone except the woman he has lived with for nine fucking years.

    Whoever said that words hurts more than punches was right. This time I fear that Rowan might have

    broken me beyond repair.

    ¡°Here¡± the cute bartender tells me.

    He looks at me in sympathy, probably knowing that I was here to drown my sorrows. He must have

    seen this kind of thing thousands of time.

    I take the drink from him, while avoiding his eyes. I didn¡¯t need his sympathy. What I need is a new

    brain. A a new heart that isn¡¯t tainted by pain and heartbreak. A soul unmarked by Rowan¡¯s cruelty.

    If I knew this was the future that awaited me years back, I would have ran for the hills. If I knew loving

    Rowan would destroy me in this manner, I would have flee to another continent, hell, another,

    just to escape him.

    I wish I could smack some sense into my younger self. Maybe then I could have avoided all this heart

    ache

    Sipping my drink, I stare into nothing. My mindpletely lost. I wasn¡¯t drunk yet but I was starting to

    feel the buzz. That¡¯s what I wanted. I needed a break from the constant pain. Drinking

    my ass off was going to give me that reprieve even if it¡¯s just for a few hours.

    I down the rest of my drink and look to the dance floor. There were people dancing. I haven¡¯t danced in

    such a long time. I wanted to let loose. After all, today was my fucking birthday.

    Getting up, I move to the floor. I close my eyes and let the music take over. I start to move to the beat.

    Feeling my problems start to fade for a little bit. Here in this moment I could pretend that I was okay.

    That I wasn¡¯t a broken vessel walking. Here in this moment I could pretend that I was whole.

    I dance song after song. Trying to chase a type of numbness. I feel peoplee up behind me to

    dance, I still don¡¯t open my eyes, even when I¡¯m grinding against them.

    Some men try to get me toe with them, but I decline. I ignore them and eventually they give up

    and leave.

    When I feel tiredness start to seep into my bones, I stop, open my eyes and head to the bar. I sit down

    on the barstool and order another drink, just as my phone rings again

    I was about to ignore it, thinking it was Letty, but instead I see Ethan¡¯s name shing.

    I decided to ept the call.

    ¡°Hi Ethan¡± I frown because my voice was a little high pitched than normal.

    ¡°Where are you Ava, are you okay? Would you mind telling me why Letty woke me uppletely out

    of her mind with worry saying she hasn¡¯t been able to reach you since yesterday?¡± he asks me

    worriedly.

    I wanted to know how she got his number, but then I remembered that I gave it to her. She had insisted

    on having it the first day I went out with Ethan, just in case she didn¡¯t hear from me.

    ¡°I¡¯m okay I just don¡¯t want to talk to her right now¡± I muttered loudly.

    The music wasn¡¯t too loud but it was loud all the same.

    ¡°Are you at a club or something?¡± he asks just as someone screams that the music ying was their

    favorite songs.

    ¡°Sort of¡±

    ¡°Are you drunk?¡±

    ¡°Just tipsy¡± I answer, though I was nning to drink myself to oblivion this once.

    ¡°Do you have a designated driver?¡±

    I giggle at that. His cop character wasing out to y and I liked that. I also liked that he was

    concerned about how I would get home.

    ¡°No, but I n to take a taxi¡± I answered.

    ¡°No, you won¡¯t Give me ten minutes¡± he says before hanging up.

    I frown at my phone. Wondering why he said that. Deciding that it wasn¡¯t that important, I push it

    to the back of my mind. Today was all about forgetting and letting myself go.

    I don¡¯t know how long it was when I feel someone sliding in the seat next to mine. I look up and I¡¯m

    surprised to find Ethan¡¯s blue eyes staring at me.

    ¡°Ethan, how are you here?¡± I ask in confusion

    ¡°I told you I¡¯d be here in ten when we talked, don¡¯t you remember?¡± he asked back

    I continue staring at him like he was a dream. Still unable to understand how he was here and how he

    found me.

    ¡°I remember, I just didn¡¯t take you seriously¡±

    He studies me and I study him back. Don¡¯t get me wrong, I liked him, but I just didn¡¯t want to see. him

    right now. Tonight was my night of drowning my pain.

    ¡°What are you doing here, Ava? I¡¯ve never taken you to be the kind of person to be out drinking at this

    time of night. Especially not on a school night, aren¡¯t you going to work tomorrow?¡± he frowned. His

    face etched in worry.

    I wasn¡¯t going to work tomorrow. After what happened with Rowan, I didn¡¯t feel like myself. I had asked

    the school board for an extension of my temporary leave. They had been pretty understanding

    especially after I lied that I wasn¡¯t fully recovered yet.

    ¡°It¡¯s my birthday, I just wanted to celebrate¡± I tell him instead

    By now the music had been turned off so I didn¡¯t have to shout to be heard Majority we

    ¡°All alone? In a bar, at almost two in the morning?¡±

    How do I tell him that I had no one to celebrate my birthday with? That no one even remembers the day

    I was born? Even when I was married to Rowan, he used to forget and ignore my birthday each year.

    How do I tell him that my family hates me so much that they stopped celebrating my birthdays nine

    years ago?!

    I shrug my shoulders. ¡°There¡¯s no one to celebrate with me. I would have celebrated with Noah but as

    you know he isn¡¯t here. The rest of my family hates me so much that they don¡¯t care if I turned a year

    older¡±

    He looks a bit shocked at my words for a moment before recovering. He gets down from his barstool

    and helps me down. Silently taking my hand, he leads me to a private booth where he helps me sit

    then sits right next to me.

    He then turns and faces. ¡°Why do you say that? I know something happened with your family, it¡¯s

    written all over your face.¡± He pauses for a while before continuing. ¡°Does it have something to do with

    Rowan, what happened? I see the pain you try to hide. Why do you say your family hates you?¡± the

    shoot from his mouth like sharp arrows.

    Is

    I stare at him. If I was going to try and build a rtionship with Ethan then I had toe clean. What I

    did could ruin my image in his eyes but he needed to know the truth either.

    I take a deep breath. ¡°It¡¯s because when I was eighteen I slept with Emma¡¯s boyfriend and ended

    pregnant.¡±

    Evelyn M.M

    Author

    Please don¡¯t kill me. Ava¡¯s past will be revealed in the next chapter. Bye.

 Chapter 34

    Nine years ago.

    My phones pings with a new notification waking me up from yet another restless sleep. For some reason, I haven¡¯t been able to sleep well for the past two years. Part of me thinks it¡¯s because of Rowan. That my heart and head aren¡¯t at peace because he isn¡¯t near me anymore. My restlessness started when he joined university two years ago.

    During the time he¡¯s away at Uni, I rarely sleep but when he¡¯s home for the breaks, I sleep like a baby. Groaning at yet another night without sleep, I wake up and check my phone. I¡¯m surprised but it quickly turns to happiness when I see what the notification is. I paid someone money to install an app that lets me track Rowan every time he¡¯s around.

    Right now it just notified me that he was home. Jumping out of bed, I get dressed quickly. He was probably back with Emma or maybe Travis or Gabe, but I didn¡¯t mind. I just wanted to see him even if it¡¯s from a far.

    Once I¡¯m done getting ready, I sneak out through my bedroom window. I had the furthest room in the house. It¡¯s nearly Impossible for my parents or the maids to hear me leaving. I get safely down and begin walking. Taking my phone out, I order an Uber.

    ¡°This is a terrible idea!¡± a voice niggles in my sub¨Cconsciousness I ignore it. My head is already swimming with visions of my Rowan. I haven¡¯t seen him in months and my eyes were dying to feast on him.

    ¡°Ava, go back home. You¡¯re making a mistake¡± the voice continues shouting. I stop in my tracks. That isn¡¯t right. Nothing about Rowan would ever be a mistake. Cementing that in my head, I push all other thoughts to the back of my mind. Minutester, my ride arrives.

    ¡°Please, Ava, turn back¡± the damn voice pleads with me just as I am getting into the car. I feel torn. Like I was fighting against my own mind and body. Finally I manage to push the thought aside and get inside the car.

    I should have listened to its warning. Another thirty minutes, we arrive at a bar. I pay the guy and get out. I stare at the dingy ce wondering what the hell Rowan was doing here.

    This wasn¡¯t his kind of scene. 1 Squaring my shoulders, I walk towards it and manage to get in using a fake ID. Quickly, I walk to a hidden spot and survey the ce looking for him. I locate him within seconds, surprised to find he was alone. I stay hidden for a while. Waiting to see if any of the others will arrive but none of them do. He was here alone.

    ¡°You¡¯ve feasted your eyes, now let¡¯s leave¡± damn that stupid voice. I ignore itpletely. This might be my chance to get him to notice me. Now that he was here alone and Emma wasn¡¯t by his side. I take a deep breath and walk the short distance to him.

    ¡°Hey Rowan¡± I greet shyly. He turns and gives me a blinding smile. Catching me off guard. We rarely talk and he has always gone to great lengths to ignore and avoid me, so the smile catches me off guard.

    ¡°It¡¯s little Ava¡± he shouts. ¡°How are you doing?¡± he asks

    It¡¯s then I realize he waspletely drunk. That was the only reason he looked so happy and receptive towards me. I take the chair next to him. Immediately he orders me a drink. I take my first taste and it was disgusting. I have never drank in my life but I force myself to do it.

    ¡°So how¡¯s school?¡± I ask, feeling myself rx little by little. He smirks and nudges my shoulder.

    ¡°Is that really what you want to ask me?¡±

    ¡°No, I want to ask what you¡¯re doing here drinking alone but I didn¡¯t want toe off as rude.¡± He sways in his seat as he leans forward. ¡°Aren¡¯t you sweet¡± he says then goes back to drinking.

    ¡°Are you okay?¡± I ask in concern.

    He wasn¡¯t acting like his normal self. He ignores me and continues drinking, I continue drinking too and just keep quiet Waiting for ¡°She doesn¡¯t want to marry me¡± he says after a while. I stare at him. I was already feeling a kind of buzz.

    ¡°Who? Emma?¡±

    ¡°Yes, I asked her to marry me. I had the ring and I proposed. I even took her to a special ce and got down on one knee. I did everything right but she still turned me down.¡±

    I look at him in shock. Unable to believe that he had asked her to marry him. I¡¯m hurt, but I push it down. ¡°She said that she wasn¡¯t ready. That she wants to focus on school first. Why didn¡¯t she want to marry me? Doesn¡¯t she love me?¡± he ask, his voice full of hurt and pain.

    I didn¡¯t know what to say. Part of me was d she turned him down, while the other hurt on his behalf because I could see that it was tearing him apart. ¡°You are awesome Rowan. If she doesn¡¯t want to marry you then that¡¯s her loss. I say fuck her, you can do so much better¡±

    I raise my drink up. He stares at me for a while before smiling. ¡°You¡¯re right, fuck her¡± he slurs as he clinks our sses. I don¡¯t know for how long we stay there. We talk, dance and drink. By the time we were leaving we were both drunk, him more so than me. He suggest I share his hotel room and I agree. I couldn¡¯t go home drunk. My parents would skin me alive given I could barely stand straight. He calls a cab and a few minutester we are in his room The moment the door closes behind us, he is on me. Kissing me and touching me. He rips my clothes off until I¡¯m left in nothing but my panties.

    ¡°Fuck! I¡¯ve been waiting for this for so long¡± he slurs, while removing his own clothes. Igiggle. ¡°Me too..are you sure you want this? You want me?¡± This seem too good to be true. That I was finally getting the man of my dream.

    ¡°Definitely¡±

    He leads me to the bed. Everything is a blur. I feel his touch, his kisses and his love. It hurt at first since I was a virgin, but he made it better. Soon we were both climaxing. ¡°Emma¡± he groaned her name as he came. As I drift into nothingness, I can¡¯t help but think that something was wrong. He just wouldn¡¯t confuse me with my sister right?

    ¡°Fuck!¡± the familiar panicked voice wakes me up. I open my eyes and sit up in bed wondering what the hell was happening, and why Rowan was in my bedroom. I¡¯m struck by horror when I see him pacing the room shirtless. It¡¯s then I realize that I was naked. I scramble to get out of bed. Holding the sheets tightly to my chest. ¡°No, no, no¡± I start chanting.

    Fear and panic gripping me. His eyes turn to me. They¡¯re burning with rage and hatred. I try to think back to what happened. Things are a little blurry. What I thought was a damn dream was not. ¡°What the fuck happened and what the hell are you doing in my hotel room?¡± Rowan asks me, angercing his voice.

    ¡°I¨CI¡± the words refuse to leave my mouth.

    Not only because I was a mess but also because I didn¡¯t know what to exin things. How do I tell him that I had an app that tracks his movement when he¡¯s in town? How do I exin that I never nned to sleep with him? I start picking up my clothes.

    My hands trembling. The fact that I was sore and winced with each step proved thatst night wasn¡¯t a dream. I had slept with my sister¡¯s boyfriend. The guy she was in love with. The one she nned on having a future with. ¡°I asked you a fucking question¡± he shouts, throwing amp against the wall. ¡°I found you at a bar and we started drinking, that¡¯s all I remember¡± I lie even though I remember bits and pieces.

    He was livid Guilt was written all over his face. Rowan loved Emma and because of nie he might. just lose her ¡°And you want me to believe that? You have been after me since I was twelve. I go out to drink and you¡¯re just conveniently there?¡± he growls, firing those questions. I ignore him and put my clothes as best as I can without shing him my bits. ¡°You think I nned all this?¡± I asks motioning to the room and scattered clothes. ¡°You¡¯re not the only one who was drunk, Rowan¡± I insist. I might have gone there intentionally but I hadn¡¯t nned on getting drunk and losing my virginty to him. He grips his hair so tightly I¡¯m afraid he¡¯ll rip chunks of it off. ¡°What am I going to do? I thought I was making love to Emma¡± he cries. ¡°She¡¯ll never forgive me for this, she¡¯ll hate. I love her so much and because of you I¡¯m going to lose her¡± I feel hurt. Broken inside. Utterly shattred that he thought I was Emma. I don¡¯t remember every single detail, but I thought it was special, and now he tells me that it wasn¡¯t me he was making love to. I look at him and push away my pain. He looked liked he needed someone, so I walk to him and ce my hand on his shoulder. Trying to give himfort. Instead he reacts violently. He pushes me so forcefully that I fall. ¡°Don¡¯t fucking touch you bitch!¡± he roars, anger and bitterness radiating off him in waves.

    I stand up, tears filling my eyes. ¡°Rowan, I never nned on this happening¡± I can tell he¡¯s already lost to me. ¡°Just fucking leave¡­ I never want to see your face ever again¡± he says sitting down on the bed, heartbroken. Tears swimming in his eyes. The look on his face breaks my heart. He looked torn, shattered. I wanted to help him but I knew he wouldn¡¯t ept my help. So instead I leave. I wanted this to be a bad dream, but it wasn¡¯t. I had messed up big time. Two dayster¡®here is that fucking bitch?¡± I hear Emma scream from downstairs. y hearts pounds, almost breaking my chest. Deep down I knew that Rowan had told her the ath. She was now out to get blood. efore I can do hide like the coward I am, my bedroom door flies open and Emma walks in. She as crying, mascara was running down her face, a battle between anger and pain waging war in er eyes. don¡¯t have time to react before she ps me. Pain stings my cheek. I don¡¯t stop her when she oes it again and again until I¡¯m cowering and crying on the floor. This was my penance for what I ad done. Emma!¡± she was about to hit me again when father¡¯s voice stops her. ¡°What is the meaning of this, why are you hitting your sister?¡± I look to the door to find him and mother standing there in shock. They have never been my biggest fan, but now they¡¯ll downright hate me when the truthes out. Both mine and Rowan¡¯s family were looking forward to the union of Rowan and Emma. Our mother¡¯s couldn¡¯t stop talking about it. Everyone in our families were beyond happy when they started dating. I ruined all that a few nights ago. ¡°She¡¯s no sister of mine!¡± she shrieks looking deranged. My mother sighs, looking at me emotionlessly, ¡°What did she do this time? Did she dye your conditioner again?¡± ¡°I wish¡­the stupid hoe seduced Rowan when he was drunk and slept with him¡± Emma¡¯s hands were fisted as she answered, tears still pouring from her eyes I don¡¯t know what Rowan told them but that wasn¡¯t what happened. Our parents turn to me. Disgust written all over their faces. Father¡¯s face soon turns angry and cold All of which are directed at me. I¡¯m not surprised though, Emma was his princess while I was nothing. ¡°I didn¡¯t I was drunk too, I didn¡¯t mean to sleep with him¡± I defend myself, my viceing out lowly Lair¡± Emma screams before her heels connect with my abdomen. ¡°Rowan would never sleep with you in his right frame of mind. He loves me and we all know you¡¯ve been obsessed with him since. abort of rapes¡± +15 BONUS I¡¯m taken aback That she would suggest I raped him. Why wouldn¡¯t she believe me when I said 1 was drunk? That I didn¡¯t intentionally set out to hurt her. ¡°Daddy, what am I going to do? She¡¯s ruined everything. How can I look at Rowan the same knowing he slept with this shut¡± she crosses the room and gets into father¡¯s arms. Father looks at me like I¡¯m the scum of the earth. Like I wasn¡¯t also his daughter. ¡°I didn¡¯t raise you to be slut, Ava. l¡¯or what you¡¯ve done to your sister, I¡¯ll never forgive you¡± he says before walking away with a crying Emma. His words hurt but I push it away. It was also on the tip of my mouth to tell him that he never 1aised me at all, but I hold back ¡°I hope you¡¯re happy now¡­it¡¯s sad that you would stoop so low just so you can steal a man that doesn¡¯t belong to you. You disgust me Ava, I don¡¯t know why god cursed me with you as a daughter¡± mother says before also leaving. I¡¯m left on the floor crying. Feeling more alone than ever. Wishing that I could wake up from this terrible dream. Knowing that my life will never be the same.

 Chapter 35

    The past (Part two)

    Two monthster.

    I stare at the pregnancy test in fear. Watching as slowly the line doubles indicating I was in deed

    pregnant.

    Wanting it to be wrong, I take another but it shows the same thing. I was pregnant with Rowan¡¯s

    baby.

    Life these past few months have been hell. I became the pariah not only in both families, but also

    in school. Everybody knows what happened between me and Rowan, but nobody believes me

    when I tell them that I was drunk.

    All the me was ced on my shoulder because I was the slut that seduced my sister¡¯s

    boyfriend when he was drunk.

    In school I¡¯m bullied and in town I¡¯m shunned.

    My mother and father rarely talk to me nowadays. Emma cut me offpletely, saying I was dead

    to her. As for Travis, well it¡¯s like I no longer exist in his eyes. I haven¡¯t seen or talked to Rowan

    since that night.

    My heart has broken over and over these past few weeks. With no reprieve for the constant pain.

    and rejection. If I had thought life was bad before, it was now a hundred times worse.

    I felt all alone and now I was pregnant. Would they ask me to abort the baby? I wouldn¡¯t put it past

    them. They were still trying to get Rowan and Emma back together after Emma broke up with

    him.

    Looking at my room, I make a quick decision. I couldn¡¯t stay here anymore. It wasn¡¯t healthy for me or

    my baby. I ce my hand on the belly, promising to give him or her all the love that was

    denied to me.

    Travis and Rowan were home so both families had gone out for brunch. Of course I wasn¡¯t invited, they

    didn¡¯t want me anywhere near Rowan. Hell, neither of them wanted to see my face. They all pretended

    like I didn¡¯t exist.

    I quickly start packing my things. I had some money saved up from my part time job. It would have to

    be enough for a new start. I could continue working until I was maybe eight just to get

    more money, since father had cut me off his will, so I had no trust fund.

    Deciding to only take the essential, I start throwing things into my suitcase.

    I was just about done when the door to my bedroom opened and my mother walked in. Shit, I didn¡¯t

    think they¡¯d be back so soon.

    ¡°What are you doing?¡± she asks looking at my suitcase. There was no emtion in her voice. It¡¯s like

    she was speaking to a stranger.

    ¡°Isn¡¯t it obvious? I¡¯m leaving¡­no need staying in a ce I¡¯m hated¡± I answer as I turn around to zip my

    bag.

    She says something but I don¡¯t pay attention. I needed to leave as soon as possible. The further I got

    away from these people the better it will be.

    ¡°What the hell is this, Ava?¡± the tone of her voice makes me turn around.

    I stand frozen when I see my pregnancy test in her hand. Fuck, how could I be so careless as to leave

    it on my vanity table?

    ¡°Nothing, it belongs to a friend¡± I try to y it off.

    ¡°You have no friends¡­god, is this why you¡¯re running away? As if it wasn¡¯t bad enough you ruined

    Rowan¡¯s rtionship with Emma and now you want to steal his baby?¡± she starts pacing the room.!

    ¡°How are you even sure it¡¯s his? You all think I¡¯m a slut, so the baby could be anyone¡¯s¡± I stomp my foot

    in frustration as she looks at me with an unreadable expression.

    I just wanted to leave. I wanted to get away from all of them. Was that too difficult?

    ¡°I won¡¯t let you leave, not until we find out if the baby you¡¯re carrying is indeed Rowan¡¯s¡±

    Before I can do anything, she rushes out the door. A momentter I hear the door close and I realize

    that she had locked me in.

    I wanted to scream in frustration but that wouldn¡¯t help me. I needed to think of a way to leave. I look at

    my window and it was barred. They did that when they realized that I sneaked out through it that night

    I sit down and clear my head. There had to be a way out A few minutes, my phone starts ringing. see

    Rowan¡¯s name shing but I ignore it.

    I guess mother had told him, why the hell else would he call the girl he believes took advantage of him

    in his drunken state.

    There wasn¡¯t any other way out except through the window. Taking a chair, I hit the ss and

    break it. I push the nks that had been used to bar it until they give way. I push my suitcase

    through the window and it falls over.

    Like I said, I was in the furthest room of the house, so themotion wouldn¡¯t have alerted

    anyone. I slowly climb down, careful of the broken shards of ss. I release a sigh of relief when I

    get down.

    Happy that I had managed to escape, I take my suitcase and start dragging it. My eyes on my

    phone as I order a cab. My happiness is short lived when I bump into someone. I lift my head and I

    recoil in horror when my eyes sh with the intense greys of Rowan.

    ¡°Were you seriously trying to run away with my baby?¡± he asks, a dangerous edge in his tone.

    I throw my hands in the air. Releasing my suitcase in the process.

    ¡°I already told mother it¡¯s not your baby¡± I lie, stepping back.

    There was just no way I was going to allow my baby to be raised in such a toxic environment. One

    where everyone hates his or her mother.

    ¡°You dare lie to me¡± he snarls. ¡°You were a fucking virgin. You may have foooled your mother, but

    I know that child is mine.¡±

    I¡¯m momentarily taken a back that he would know I was a virgin. We were drunk, especially him.

    ¡°How did you know that?¡± I ask lowly.

    ¡°The sheets we slept in had spots of blood¡±

    1 shrug off his answer. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter. The baby could still be anyone¡¯s. I might have slept with

    countless men afterwards.¡±

    His eyes narrow. There were raging storms behind them.

    I pull my gaze away jusy as my cab arrives.

    ¡°I¡¯m really sorry I messed up your rtionship with Emma but I need to go. My life isn¡¯t here anymore. I

    truly wish that things work out well between you two and that you end up getting back together.¡± I go to

    side step him but he grabs my hand and stops me,

    He takes some money from his pocket and hands it over to the driver, apologizing for the

    inconvenience.

    ¡°Rowan, let me go¡± I pull my hand but he still doesn¡¯t let go.

    ¡°No, we are going to get married right now. The judge agreed to meet me at your parent¡¯s¡± he says,

    tagging me towards the house.

    ¡°I¡¯m not getting married to you!¡± I argue. Was he crazy? Why would he want to marry a woman he

    hates?

    ¡°Yes we are and that fucking final¡± the grip he had on my hand tightens.

    Fear and panic starts rising inside me. This isn¡¯t what I wanted

    ¡°We don¡¯t have to do this. Think about it, you can tell everyone the baby isn¡¯t your, I¡¯ll leave and never

    come back. No one will ever know and after sometime, Emma will take you back. You¡¯ll

    destroy your chances with her if she finds out that not only am I having your baby but also that

    we got married¡± I cry, begging him to see reason. ¡°Please let me go and you will never have to see

    me again. You¡¯ll go on with your life like I didn¡¯t exist¡±

    He pauses in his steps and I think I¡¯ve gotten through to him.

    ¡°No!¡± he states firmly ¡°I may hate you but I won¡¯t allow my child to grow up without his or her

    father

    With that, he pulls me into the house, where the judge, Travis and my parents were waiting.

    About thirty minutester, we were legally married. Immediately after, Rowan storms out leaving me

    with my family. I couldn¡¯t even call them that because they looked at me like I was the

    antichrist.

    Soon after, I¡¯m left alone. I ce a hand on my belly and smile. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise, I

    lie to myself.

    Right there and then I make a promise to my baby that he or she will be born into a loving family. I was

    going to make Rowan fall in love me, that way my baby won¡¯t be raised in a broken home. I smiled after

    that promise not knowing that Rowan was going to break me in more ways than one

 Chapter 36

    His remedy

    Present day.

    L

    ¡°So you see, they have a reason to hate me¡­I ruined their love¡± I mutter as tears fill my eyes.

    It¡¯s always painful for me to go down memoryne. I was na?ve and foolish. Thinking that I could

    ake him love me after I literally ruined his life. Nine yearster and I¡¯m still paying the price for

    loving Rowan Woods.

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t your fault?¡± Ethan asks me, his fingers slowly caressing mine.

    ¡°It was. I let my obsession with him take center stage and because of that I made the biggest

    mistake of my life¡± the tears fall freely now.

    If only I could go back in time. If only I could change things. I¡¯ve lived my life in regret. I wish I

    had listened to that nagging voice in my head. I wish I had payed attention to it instead of

    ignoring it. It would have saved me from so much heartache and pain.

    Hell, I wish I had realized earlier that I was pregnant. I could have escaped earlier. I would have

    left and never told Rowan that I was pregnant with his child. No one would have been the wiser. I know

    it sounds downright evil but looking back now it would have saved Noah from seeing Rowan

    and I fight all the time.

    I would have gone to a ce where no one knew me. A ce so far away from my family and Rowan.

    A ce no one knew them. I¡¯m sure they wouldn¡¯t even have bothered looking for me and

    that would have just been fine with me.

    ¡°Ava?¡±

    ¡°What?¡± I ask as a response. I had gotten lost in thought again.

    ¡°I said it wasn¡¯t you fault. You were also drunk, so if they were ming you, they should have med

    him too¡± he gives me a reassuring smile.

    I look at him with round eyes.

    ¡°You believe me?¡± I ask him in surprise.

    No one and I mean no one has ever believed that I was drunk. They all thought I was malicious and I

    took advantage of an innocent man.

    ¡°Of course I do, don¡¯t you believe you¡¯re also innocent?¡± his blue eyes seer into me. As if he was trying

    to unveil all my pain.

    I sigh tiredly. ¡°I got so tired of hearing that I was to me. That I wasn¡¯t drunk at all, that sometimes I

    believe that¡¯s exactly what happened. Everyone has pounded it in me, cementing the

    idea that I took advantage of his drunken state that sometimes I doubt the events of my own memory¡±

    It¡¯s sad really. That sometimes I think that my memory is faulty. I mean if everyone says I¡¯m guilty isn¡¯t

    that the truth?

    There are other times I think that the pain I went through at Rowan¡¯s hand was my punishment. That

    God was punishing me for wanting and sleeping with a man that didn¡¯t belong to me. That¡¯s also

    something everyone has told me. That my pain was my punishment.

    You get used to people¡¯s words when the keep forcing their truth and beliefs down your throat. That¡¯s

    what happened with me. Soon after I started believing them. Believing that I was a fault. Believing that I

    was at fault. 1

    My heart aches when I think of everything they put me through, Rowan especially. That a man you love

    could destroy you leaves you wondering if there¡¯s truly any good in the world.

    The only good thing that came out of that mistake is Noah. I would never regret my son. He was the

    one that saved. He was anchor during the times when I wanted to end it all. During the times when I felt

    so alone I contemted suicide.

    It was after he was born. I was so tired of the constant pain, the constant hate that I thought of it. I

    knew that Rowan would take good care of him. He fell in love with Noah the moment he was ced in

    his arms.

    I pulled myself from that darkness when I realized what leaving Noah would mean. I didn¡¯t want him to

    think I was weak. Most especially I didn¡¯t want Emma as his step mother. I knew Rowan would get back

    together with her and I was afraid she would transfer her hate for me to him.

    Now, looking at the vile words she spewed at me concerning Noah, I¡¯m d that I had chosen to stay

    strong I wasn¡¯t going to let her hurt him.

    ¡°You¡¯re not to me, Never. You were both drunk so no one was to me. You parents should have

    been ashamed for cing the entire me on an eighteen year old girl. Rowan should have taken

    responsibility for his actions instead of allowing all the me to fall on you. He was twenty

    ¡°But I¡¯m the one that sought him out¡±

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t matter. He gave you alcohol knowing that you weren¡¯t supposed to be drinking¡± he pulls his

    hand from mine and runs it through his hair. ¡°The more I know about Rowan and your family, the more I

    dislike them¡± he says more to himself than me.

    I don¡¯t say anything. After all, I was beginning to hate them to.

    ¡°Come on¡± he says then helps me stand up.

    ¡°Where are we going?¡± I ask him.

    I wanted to stay a little bit longer. I didn¡¯t want to go to an empty house.

    ¡°I¡¯m taking you home¡­I don¡¯t like seeing you trying to drown your sorrows¡± he answers.

    He doesn¡¯t give me time to say anything before he¡¯s pulling me across the dance floor and out of the

    bar. I shiver from the chill. He removes his leather jacket and gets me into it.

    He helps me get into his car and then he begins to drive. We don¡¯t talk, but the silence between us

    isn¡¯t awkward.

    The way home I think about everything and nothing. Sure, Ethan helped remind me that it wasn¡¯t my

    fault, but the guilt of ruining three lives is still there.

    Sooner that I would like, we pull into my drive way. Ethan switches off the engine and like the gentle

    man he is, helps me down.

    I pull my keys from my bag and open my door.

    ¡°Do you want toe in?¡± I ask him. ¡°I¡¯m not nning for the night to end, I¡¯m still not drunk enough to

    forget my pain¡±

    ¡°You n to continue drinking just to forget?¡± he asks and I nod my head.

    I just needed reprieve even if it was for a few hours.

    He looks at me and I see the moment his eyes change. The moment he makes a decision and heat fills

    his eyes.

    ¡°If that¡¯s the case, then I have a better remedy¡± Ethan says, his voice getting deeper.

    He crosses the threshold of my home and closes the door. The moment he does, he seals my

    mouth with his and then for the next few hours he goes to show me just how better his remedy is

 Chapter 37

    The warm light on my faces wakes me up. At first I¡¯m confused as to how I ended up in my room,but then the heavy hand around my waist brings the memories of what happened back.

    I start to internally panic so much so that I¡¯m afraid I¡¯ll wake Ethan up. I didn¡¯t want him up now. Not when I was having a nervous breakdown. Not while my head was a mess. As slowly as I can, Iget up and leave the bed.

    He turns and murmurs something in his sleep, but he doesn¡¯t wake up. I heave a sigh of relief even as I put some clothes on and pick up my phone from the dresser.

    Tip toing to the door, I wince a little when I open it and it creeks. I look back, my heart in my mouth. I¡¯m immediately thankful when I see Ethan still in bed.

    The sheets were down to his waist, exposing his very well defined abs and an arm was thrown over his face. Swallowing loudly, I leave the room.

    I walk down my stairs feeling like I was doing the walk of shame even though I was in my own. house. The soreness between my legs, a testament of how Ethan took his job at remedying my pain seriously.

    The moment I get the kitchen I let loose. All the panic and anxiety I tried stifling in my room rushes through me like an Avnche.

    ¡°Call down, people have S** all the time¡± I try telling myself but instead of calming down it only increases the pace of my wildly beating heart.

    I start pacing the tiled floors. Still unable to believe that I had S** with another man. I always thought that the only man who would ever touch me or see me n*ked is Rowan Here we are though, not only did I let Ethan k*ss me, but I also allowed him into my bed.

    Tired of pacing, I sit on the kitchen stool. My feet tapping nervously on the floor. What am 1 supposed to do now? How am I supposed to act? I didn¡¯t know what the protocol after these type of things happened is.

    Am I supposed to make him breakfast? Would he even want breakfast? Is it something that will happen again or is it a one nightstand?

    I ce a hand on my beating heart. I felt like my chest was going to explode. I¡¯ve never done something like this before. Even if I hadn¡¯t been in love with Rowan, I always believed that I would currently not strong.

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to love someone to have S** with them¡­you just have to be attracted to them¡± A voice whispers.

    I want to argue with it but my phone vibrating stops me. I unlock it.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

    I read the simple message, wondering who could have sent it. That is until I lift my eyes and see

    it¡¯s from Rowan. I¡¯m shocked and then angry.

    He has no right at all to send me that stupid message. Not when he has never wished me a happy birthday during our marriage and especially not after the disgusting things he said to me.

    I stand up and go back to pacing. I mean why now? Why now when we are divorced? Why today of all day? A few hours after I have slept with another man.

    I don¡¯t think it¡¯s fair topare two men S**ually, but Ethan thoroughly F***ed me. Simple and clear. There was passion and heat, something thatcked with Rowan. Ethan took me in positions

    I didn¡¯t even know were possible. I loved that but I also hated it because it proved how stale my

    S** life with Rowan was.

    The only time Rowan ever took me like that was the first time we had S** and it was only because he thought he was sleeping with Emma, the love of his F***ing life.

    I always wanted it to be like that between us. Always thought that something was missing. It wasn¡¯t bad, but I just wanted more.

    Now after my night with Ethan I realize what has been missing between Rowan and I was the passion. I also realize that it had been missing because I wasn¡¯t who he had wanted.

    I push the pain that tries to resurface away. I didn¡¯t want to think that Rowan was holding back even when we were having S** simply because he¡¯d wanted another woman instead.

    I go back to my phone. Just to distract myself from the turmoil of what was happening inside me.

    I find more text wishing me a happy birthday. They were from Travis, Letty, mother and even

    Gabe I ignore the rest and make a mental note to reply to Letty¡¯ster.

    I just didn¡¯t understand. Why now? What did they wish to gain from it?

    ¡°Your forgiveness?¡± the same voice whispers.

    Forgiveness. Such a simple word yet soplicated.

    How can I give them that when they didn¡¯t give it to me? How can I forgive them when they broke me? How am I supposed to let it all go when they didn¡¯t let me live in peace for what happened?

    Ethan was right. Both Rowan and I were drunk but I¡¯m the only one who got punished. The only one who got med was me. I was the one that was called names, the one that was looked down on. The only one who got bullied.

    I am the only one that got the emotional and verbal abuses. I took all of it. I took the me even though I shouldn¡¯t have because I loved Rowan.

    The more I thought about it, the more I got angry. I can feel the angry tears trying to fall and this time I don¡¯t want to push them back.

    I¡¯m so tired. So F***ing tired of being the bigger person. I lost just as much as Rowan did because of that night.

    No one wanted to see how the guilt broke. No one wanted to see how I was breaking or how I struggled. It was always about Rowan and Emma.

    It was always about him. Howe I had to break just to keep us working? Howe I had to break for them to feel good about themselves? They broke me and yet no one wants to acknowledge that. No one wants to acknowledge my pain.

    I feel a dam explode inside me. All the pain that I have been holding back. All the pain I¡¯ve been pushing down. I can¡¯t contain it anymore. It alles rushing to the surface as my world unravels.

    The guttural scream that leaves my mouth is animalistic even to my own ears. It reverberates off the walls, echoing my torment. Ish out, my fist colliding with any fragile object around me

    The sound of shattering ss and splintering wood fills the air. Mirroring the chaos within my soul. My fragile heart was breaking all over again. The pain swallowing me. Destroying me from the inside out.

    With each passing moment, the anguish that had been buried deep continues to surface up. wing its way out from deep inside me.

    I hate them. I hate Rowan for what he put me through.

    ¡°Ava¡± I tum at his voice.

    Ethan stands there shirtless. He looks at me in shock. The kitchen was destroyed, including the barstools.

    Seeing him there, I fall down on my knees in surrender, not caring if I hurt myself on the shattered ss. What¡¯s physical painpared to an emotional one?

    ¡°I hate him. I gave him my all. He took and took and I continued to let him. He left me with nothing Ethan. I¡¯m empty, so dark and cold. How do I live like that? How do I let go. I¡¯m so tired of fighting, all these weights I¡¯m carrying are getting heavy¡± I cry.

    Why didn¡¯t I see that I was trying to hold on to something that wasn¡¯t supposed to stand? That I was living in a wastend that they banished me to?

    I feel his hands around me. ¡°Let it all go, let the pain go, Ava. It¡¯s the only way¡± he says and I do exactly that.

    My nails dig into his flesh as I cry my heart out and I transfer all that pain to him. He doesn¡¯tin. He doesn¡¯t say a word. He doesn¡¯t wince.

    He continues to hold me as the remnants of my past, my unhealed scars,y scattered on the floor. A physical manifestation of the emotional turmoil that had finally consumed me.

    My inner demons tear me apart as I breakdown and all the pain I have endured finally erupts.

    I finally sink against him. Completely and utterly drained. He gently picks me up bridal style and leads me up the stairs. My eyes were beginning to close as I feel a certain peace settle deep inside me.

    Even if God had deemed me guilty of my past sins, I think I¡¯ve already paid enough for those mistakes. It was time to leave the past where it belonged. It was time to heal.

    I was done hiding. It was time toe out of the shadows and live my life.

 Chapter 38

    A banquet

    Rowan

    I was getting ready for a banquet. It wasn¡¯t something I wanted to do but I had to go. none the less The

    founder of Hope foundation was holding the banquet in thanks giving and honor of all its donors. Given

    I was one of its many donors, I was invited

    ¡°What is it, Brian. I¡¯m busy?¡± I answer after checking the caller ID

    ¡°We were able to get a DNA match from the blood sample we collected from Miss Sharp¡¯s house¡± he

    goes straight to the point.

    Her name makes me take a sharp intake of air. Thest words I flung at her still echo in fucking mind I

    shouldn¡¯t have said all those hurtful things but I was so fucking pissed that she put her hands on Emma

    ¡°And?¡± I urge, wanting him to continue.

    I was hoping this was good news. I wanted nothing more than to solve Ava¡¯s case and put it behind us

    ¡°I don¡¯t have good news¡± he replies making me grown.

    ¡°What happened?¡±

    ¡°We identified the man. He goes by ck Serpent. He¡¯s been on our radar for quite a while since he is

    a hired killer Someone tipped us as to where he¡¯s hiding, only problem is that we found him dead with a

    bullet in his skull¡± there was an edge in his voice. An edge I was also feeling.

    He was our hope but now the man was dead, so we were back to square one.

    ¡°Did you find anything that might have given a clue on why he was after Ava?¡± I ask almost

    desperately.

    ¡°Nothing¡± he replies.

    ¡°And the one that tipped you?

    He sighs tiredly. ¡°I think it might have been the one that killed him. My guess is he or she found out that

    we had evidence against ck Serpent so he killed him before we could make an arrest and get him to

    reveal who his boss is

    The picture he painted started forming in my head. The pieces falling into ce. I didnt fucking

    like the direction this was leading to.

    ¡°But that would mean that whoever is after Ava is someone close to her, otherwise how would

    they have known about the DNA sample?¡±

    Despite the news of Ava¡¯s attack leaking, nothing much was said. Tabloids only reported that she was

    attacked in her house. There was no public information concerning the blood sample the police

    collected.

    ¡°Most likely. That or they have an aplice who is close to Ava and therefore feeding him or her

    information¡± Brian finishes.

    Just when I thought things would get better then this happens. How the fuck are we supposed to catch

    this guy?

    ¡°Is that all?¡± I ask him.

    ¡°Yes¡­for now¡±

    ¡°Keep me updated¡± with that I hang up and get back to tying my tie.

    Now more than ever I didn¡¯t feel like going to the damn banquet.

    I finish and head downstairs where my limousine was waiting. I was supposed to pick Emma up since

    she was my date for this dinner. I get in and my driver drives the short distance to Emma¡¯s apartment.

    I find her ready when I ring the bell to her apartment. She looked beautiful, but for some reason I

    couldn¡¯t appreciate her beauty as much as I did when we were younger.

    ¡°You¡¯re quiet¡± she tells me.

    She was seated across from me, looking elegant and poised. I stare at her, not really knowing what the

    hell I was looking for in her blue eyes.

    ¡°I just have a lot on my mind¡± I answer.

    ¡°Care to share?¡±

    Not really

    How could I tell her that the thoughts that were guing me were mostly of her sister?

    Her mouth thins. She isn¡¯t happy that I turned her down, but she doesn¡¯t say it. Instead she keeps

    quiet and stares out the window.

    I sigh. The atmosphere was now fucking awkward. I don¡¯t do awkward so I start drumming a

    finger on my thigh. Praying that this fucking trip would end already.

    We get there in time and I let out a breath of relief. The car stops and I get out, then I help Emma get

    out. The cameras begin shing the minute we step onto the red carpert.

    ¡®Mr. Woods, is it true that you¡¯re now with Emma Sharp, your ex¨Cwife¡¯s sister?¡® one reporter asks

    ¡®Some say that Miss Emma is the love of your life while circumstances forced you to be with Ava sharp¡®

    another flings.

    ¡®Where is your ex¨Cwife, Mr. Woods?¡±

    ¡®Miss Emma, how does it feel to be with a man that was once married to your sister? They even have a

    son together¡±

    I feel Emma¡¯s grip tightening on my forearm when they ask her that question. I lead her away as they

    throw question after question at us. Finally we get to the entrance and are weed in.

    The organizer did a wonderful job. I wasn¡¯t into this kind of shit but the ce looked amazing. We are

    led to our table. We find Gabe, Travis, Letty and Christine already seated.

    I don¡¯t bother greeting anyone unlike Emma. I just help Emma into her seat then I take my own

    My mind wasn¡¯t here. My thoughts revolved around Ava and her safety. I couldn¡¯t even focus on the

    conversation around the table, that¡¯s until her name is mentioned.

    ¡°What the fuck is Ava doing here?¡± I look up to find Emma staring daggers behind me.

    I turn in that direction to find Ava standing with Ethan. She looked like a fucking goddess with her long

    curled brown hair, and a gold glittering dress. I¡¯ve never seen her like this. She looked absolutely

    breath taking. As much as I tried I couldn¡¯t take my eyes off her.

    She walks forward and Ethan walks by her side. His palm on the exposed flesh of her lower back. She

    passes by our table. A part from Letty, who she smiles and waves at, she ignores the rest of us.

    Ethan leads her to the table a few feet from ours and pulls out her chair for her. She gives him such a

    radiant smile that I feel it deep inside my soul even though it wasn¡¯t directed at me.

    I pull my gaze from them when Ethan leans in and kisses her cheek. Everything inside me turned

    myself from matching to their table and iming her.

    I shake those away. What the fuck? She wasn¡¯t mine, so what the hell was happening to me?

    ¡°The cop probably invited her, Rowan did some digging and found out that he is from a wealthy

    family up north. His presence makes sense, as for Ava we all know she isn¡¯t the kind of person to

    be invited to such fancy things¡± the snide remarks pulls me from my anger

    I turn to look at Christine just as she and Emma burst outughing.

    Why the hell have I never heard her say such things before now? Had I been that blind and stupid?

    Letty snorts. ¡°We also know that you wouldn¡¯t be here if it wasn¡¯t for your association to Rowan.

    Same with you Emma, you only got invited because of Rowan despite you family¡¯s name, so why

    don¡¯t you shut your fucking mouth and stop acting like you¡¯re the queens here¡± s

    ¡°Letty¡­¡± Travis growls.

    ¡°No! Christine is here bad mouthing Ava because just like Emma, she¡¯s jealous of her. Tell me

    Christine what are you except for a highly paid secretary? What connections do you have? None!

    You were nothing before Rowan hired you, just a cheap slut that made her way to the top by

    sleeping with her former bosses¡± Letty then turns to Emma

    ¡°And you? When are you going to grow the fuck up? Nine fucking years and you¡¯re still a bitter

    spoilt brat. Ava made a mistake, get over it and stop acting like the world ended. The sun doesn¡¯t

    revolve around you so instead of trying your hardest to put your sister down why don¡¯t you focus

    on your rtionship with Rowan which by the looks of things, isn¡¯t even working¡±

    Both Emma and Christine stare at her in shock and anger. Probably because no one had ever dared

    to talk to them like that. Emma had her hand fisted. Angry waves rolling off her.

    ¡°That¡¯s enough, Letty¡­I won¡¯t tolerate you talking to Emma like that, she¡¯s my sister. If you can¡¯t

    respect her then leave¡± Travis growls at her. Letty just looks at Emma before sneering then

    turning to Travis.

    ¡°In case you forgot, Ava is your sister but that doesn¡¯t matter to you does it? After all you¡¯re among the

    very people that put her down and treated her like shit¡± she then stands up. ¡°I¡¯ll dly leave, I¡¯d rather

    stay at home than spend the night with a bunch of self¨Cabsorbed assholes: You all

    sicken me

    ¡°Letty ¡°Travis pleads his tune changing quickly, but she¡¯s already turned around and leaving

    The table remains silent as we watch her leave. She doesn¡¯t get far though. She¡¯s stopped by a

    body guard. He then directs her back to the banquet room and straight past us. She¡¯s taken to

    Ava¡¯s table.

    Ava stands up and hugs her. They then take their seats and begin chatting.

    Secondster the bodyguards stands at our table.

    ¡°Mam, I¡¯m gonna have to ask you to leave¡± he tells Christine.

    ¡°What?!¡± she almost screams.

    ¡°Please stand up and leave. I don¡¯t want to embarrass you by dragging you out¡±

    ¡°What did I do?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know and I don¡¯t care, I¡¯m just following my orders, please don¡¯t make things difficult¡±

    Christine was about to protest but I give her a sharp look. She shuts her mouth and stands up. All eyes

    are on her as the bodyguard escorts her out.

    This room is full of the cream del a cream of the society and they all bare witness as she¡¯s escorted

    out. The bodyguard didn¡¯t want to embarrass her but the damage was already done. The fact that she

    was asked to leave was shameful to her.

    ¡°What the hell just happened?¡± Gabe asks as he stares around the room. 2

    None of us had an answer. We continue staring at each other trying to figure out why the fuck Christine

    was asked to leave and why Letty was taken to Ava¡¯s table.

    ¡°Good afternoon¡± the sound of someone at the podium speaking makes all our eyes turn to the front.

    The woman at the front was a blondedy. She had on a ck dress and she was smiling at her

    audience.

    ¡°My name is Mary and I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all foring today. As you

    know this banquet is in honor of all of you. Before we begin the festivities and celebrations, I would like

    to invite the founder of hope foundation to give a speech..¡± she¡¯s interrupted the excited murmurs that

    fill the room,

    No one knew who the founder of Hope foundation was. His or her identity has been a secret for years,

    so of course everyone is fucking excited to finally meet the founder of thergest

    I was curious, always have been as to why he or she would keep their identity hidden.

    She waits until everyone is quiet before she continues.

    ¡°I know that you¡¯re all very excited, so with no further ado, help me wee the founder of Hope

    Foundation¡­¡± She pauses. She has all of us at the edge of our seats

    ¡°Miss Ava Sharp¡±

 Chapter 39

    Underneath the surface

    ¡°What?¡± Emma whispers besides me in shock

    The whole room is quiet. Everyone ispletely surprised. No one saw thising. No one

    imagined that Ava would be the founder of such arge organization.

    Hell, I was married to the woman and I had no clue That leaves a lot to be fucking said about me if

    I didn¡¯t know this about Ava

    ¡®Did you know this?¡± Gabe asks, eyes and mouth wide.

    ¡°No¡± I growl pissed that I had missed such a thing.

    I watch as she pushes back her chair She stands up and Ethan stands up with her while offering

    her his hand with a smile she ces her hand on his and he walks her towards the stage. I

    clench my jaw when he ces his hand on her exposed back when he helps her up the stairs.

    Once she¡¯s there, he steps down. She gives Mary a hug before she steps up to the podium

    She smiles before clearing her throat

    ¡°Hi¡± she chuckles nervously ¡°For some reason it¡¯s easier for me to address a room full of rowdy

    teenagers than a room full of adults¡±

    This earns her a couple of smiles andughs from people.

    I don¡¯t think there is anyone here who doesn¡¯t know me and it there is, my name is Ava Sharp

    Like Mary said, the reason we are here today is to celebrate all of you for your continued help in Hope

    Foundation Being a teacher, you see a lot of things at school Kids with bruises inflicted by abusive

    patents, kids going hungry because they don¡¯t have lunch money, kids with tattered

    clothes and shoes because their parents are so poor that evening to school is a luxury and

    kids who are homeless and live on the streets¡± she says, hei voice captivating her audience

    i have never seen the elites pay this much attention to a speech before

    Seeing those children go through such hardships broke my heart, so I started helping the best way i

    could fetarted with one boy in my ss, then another, and another Behere kurmit I hat mote dono

    dozen children t was helping That¡¯s where I got the idea to build a foundation

    wanted a safe haven for thein A ce where they did have to worry about worth the t

    being Rids I started with buiding The Hope House and God blessed me by bring in sare

    #

    ¡°Since we began four years ago, we have expanded The Hope Houses and we are proud to say that

    we have a house in every major city in the country. We have helped thousands of kids get into

    universities. We even have some in prestigious ones such as Harvard and Princeton. We have

    thousands of more under our care all ranging from a few months old to eighteen. We make sure that

    they don¡¯tck for anything and we even give the older ones allowance¡± She pauses before pointing to

    the tables at the center which were full of kids ranging from all ages.

    ¡°This foundation is to help them. To give them hope for a better future. To give them hope that it doesn¡¯t

    matter where they came from, they can still make it. To back them up as they make their way through

    life. So from the bottom of my heart I want to say thank you for the continued

    support and for every single donation. I pray for more blessings upon you¡± she finishes and steps

    away from the podium.

    ps ring from every corner of the room as people stand up to appreciate her. They continue to p

    until she steps down from the stage.

    Mary soon after takes the podium. ¡°That¡¯s all for today, please have a wonderful evening and enjoy

    yourselves¡±

    I watch Avapletely mesmerized. Who would have thought that there was so much more

    underneath her surface?

    ¡°Damn, never in my wildest dream did I imagine that she was the founder of thergest children¡¯s

    organization¡± Travis mutters, his eyes darting between Ava and Letty.

    Letty was still seated at their table, but Ava was talking to some kids who had been waiting for her. One

    of them was a young man and he looked quite familiar.

    ¡°I know right?¡± Gabe adds, the shocked look still stered on his face.

    It was still hard to grasp. It was like she had this whole secret life that I never knew about. I never miss

    a thing, yet Ipletely missed this whole life Ava had.

    Someone drops on the seat that Christine had exited. I turn to re at them only to find Mary seated.

    ¡°Don¡¯t mind me, I¡¯m just exhausted, you¡¯re Ava¡¯s family right?¡± she asks and Travis numbly nods his

    head.

    ¡°Perfect¡± She doesn¡¯t say anything else, just picks up her tablet and begins typing something on it

    ¡°Hey¡± Emma begins. ¡°Isn¡¯t that Caleb Kingstone of Kingstone technologies? What¡¯s he doing with

    Ava? Does he know her?¡±

    I look at where her gaze was directed. It was on the young man with Ava. No wonder he looked so

    familiar

    Kingstone technologies started about two years back. He is the youngest CEO and already has made a

    name for himself in the business world. At only twenty, he was already a sess story. His techs were

    increasingly popr and he had earned himself a spot at the big boys table.

    If I was vain, I would have been worried about him taking my number one spot as the top entrepreneur

    in the country. The boy was giving a lot of the other business men a run for their

    money.

    ¡°Oh yes¡­.he is a beneficiary of the Hope Foundation. He¡¯s an orphan and Ava took him under her

    wings. She¡¯s the one who noted that he¡¯s a tech genius. She encouraged him to start something with

    his talent. When he came up with the idea of having his ownpany, Ava backed him up. She gave

    him the startup capital he needed. No one believed in him back then, except for Ava. Now hispany

    is fast growing and it¡¯s earning him millions. As a thank you to Ava, he gave her shares in Kingstone

    technologies. Ava is the secondrgest share holder after him¡±

    Another shocking revtion. We stare at her. Each of us trying to absorb what she just told us.

    Emma interrupts the moment by snorting. ¡°So in other words you¡¯re saying she¡¯s taking advantage of

    the kids under her care to make herself rich?¡±

    This time I¡¯ve had enough of her.

    ¡°Will you stop with the fucking snide remarks¡± I growl, hitting the table in anger.

    People turn to us but mind their business when I re at them. Emma looks at me like she¡¯s never

    seen me before, but I was just so fucking sick and tired of her venomous mouth.

    ¡°Which hole have you been living?¡± Mary asks Emma in a sneer. ¡°Ava doesn¡¯t need anyone to make

    ber rich, the woman was a millionaire.¡±

    ¡°What are you talking about?¡± Travis asks.

    Mary shrugs her shoulder. ¡°She was rich way before she even started this foundation. It¡¯s only that she

    likes to keep her things private and away from prying eyes, but I¡¯ve calcted her assets and the

    woman is fucking rich. If she was to be in the ranking of the richest women in the city,

    I do the math in my head. That would ce her around the number five or six spot of the richest

    people in the whole country. I¡¯m still reeling from that shock when Mary speaks again.

    ¡°The thing I love about Ava is how down to earth she is. She¡¯s so rich yet so simple. She doesn¡¯t

    dress in expensive brands, drive expensive cars or live in a huge expensive house. Looking at her

    you would snub her. You would look down on her and write her off¡±

    Fuck and isn¡¯t that what we have done countless of times. What I have done countless of times.

    Even when I bought her that range rover, I looked down on the car she chose because I thought

    she couldn¡¯t afford thetest one.

    No wonder she turned the fucking range rover down. I made a fool of myself that day. Not only

    that day but also on the day I told her to take the divorce alimony because I thought she would

    suffer now that I wasn¡¯t providing for her.

    ¡°What you¡¯re saying is impossible¡± Emma whispers.

    Among all of us, she¡¯s the one that has looked down Ava more. That much I can fucking tell. Now

    the truth was hitting her and she didn¡¯t like that Ava was wealthier than her.

    ¡°I¡¯m telling the truth¡­seriously, shouldn¡¯t you all know this about bossdy given you¡¯re her

    family?¡± Mary asks frowning.

    We all look down in shame. She¡¯s right, she was family and yet we excluded her and treated her

    like shit. No wonder she never told any of us of her status.

    We were drowning in our shame when amotion caught my attention.

    Ava was standing head to head with Brenda. She was a socialite and an influential one. She was

    the self¨Cappointed head of the women in our social rank.

 Chapter 40

    Avenging angel

    ¡°How dare you?¡± the anger in Ava¡¯s voice was palpable.

    Brenda sneers as if she had more important things to do. ¡°It¡¯s not my fault that the she can¡¯t look

    where she¡¯s going. This is a limited edition Luis Vuitton dress and the brat almost ruined it by

    sshing juice on it¡±

    Brenda and Ava have never gotten along. I knew she was bullied at school and that Brenda was

    her biggest tormentor.

    The girl I they were talking about was cowaring behind Ava. She couldn¡¯t have been more than

    five years old. She was cute, with a pretty pink dress, a heart shaped face, round lips and long

    ck hair cascading down her back.

    I can imagine having a little girl with my grey eyes and Ava¡¯s shinny brown hair.

    I freeze in my seat. What the hell? Where the fuck did that thoughte from? Shaking my head.

    and banishing those thoughts, I focus on Ava. Looks like Ava was finally putting her in her ce.

    ¡°Are you kidding me? That¡¯s a really stupid reason to hurt a child especially given we¡¯re here

    because of them¡± Ava admonishes, a frown marring her beautiful face.

    ¡°It¡¯s not a stupid reason¡± Brenda stomps her foot like a petnt child. ¡°I¡¯m not going to allow an

    orphan child who doesn¡¯t know the meaning of what it is to be rich ruin a dress that costs more

    than she¡¯ll ever see in her life¡±

    Shocked gasps fill the room. Brenda turns and realizes that she had an audience and that they

    aren¡¯t happy with her.

    ¡°That¡¯s not what I meant¡­¡± she rushes to save face after noticing the angry gazes that were

    directed at her.

    ¡°You know what? Leave. Given your attitude towards these children, I don¡¯t see the need for your

    presence here¡± Ava says then motions for one of the many bodyguards stationed around the

    entrances

    ¡°What? You¡¯re kicking me out?¡± Brenda stammers.

    Ava just rolls her eyes, ¡°Obviously¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t do that, I¡¯ve donated lots of money to this stupid foundation, you can¡¯t just kick me out

    Ava smiles. A wicked smile. She then calls for Mary who rushes to her.

    *Check how much she¡¯s donated to the foundation¡± she instructs and Mary begins tapping on her

    tablet.

    ¡°One million dors¡± Mary answers after a while.

    Ava turns to Brenda, looking at her coolly. ¡°You see, what we don¡¯t need in this foundation is

    someone like you. Someone arrogant enough to think that we can¡¯t do without their money.¡± She

    then turns back to Mary. ¡°Transfer the exact amount back to her ount¡±

    Everyone watches in surprise. No one says anything and no one moves.

    ¡°It¡¯s done boss¡± Mary says smiling.

    ¡°Now that you have your money back, get the hell out of my banquet and from now on you are

    banned from any event I or my foundation hosts¡± There was steel in her voice, a tone I have never

    heard Ava use.

    Brenda starts cursing at Ava and the foundation. Ava nods at the bodyguard and he drags her out

    kicking and scream. After she¡¯s out, Ava turns to the room.

    Just like with Christine, this was going to affect Brenda¡¯s social standing alot. This was the best

    fucking revenge Ava could take on her.

    ¡°Anyone else share in the same opinion as Brenda? Like I said, we are here because of these kids

    and I¡¯ll go through anyone who thinks they can mistreat them¡± her voice rings across the room,

    steady and strong even without a microphone.

    Right then she looked like a damn avenging angel. Ready to strike down anyone who even so

    much as looks at the children wrong

    When no one says anything, she smiles. ¡°Well then, sorry for the interruption and I do hope you

    have a lovely time¡±

    My eyes zone in on her as she turs around and walks away. She disappears outside, to the balcony

    Emma says something to me but I ignore her. My eyes fully focused on my ex¨Cwife.

    I stand up and push my chair back, then leave. Emma calls my name but I don¡¯t turn back. I take

    long strides in Ava¡¯s direction, Soon I¡¯m outside the room.

    She stands at the balcony. Her face facing the now darkening sky, her hair blowing in the wind

    Now, that I was here I didn¡¯t know what to fucking say. I haven¡¯t spoken to Ava since that day at

    her house. All my text and calls for the past two weeks have gone answered.

    I step forward. My steps probably alerted her because she turns slightly. When she sees it¡¯s just

    me, she tenses.

    ¡°What do you want Rowan?¡± she asks in a sigh.

    I step further forward until I¡¯m standing beside her.

    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you tell me?¡± I was puzzled. She was my wife and she never said a thing.

    ¡°Tell you what?¡±

    ¡°Everything¡­ The Hope Foundation and the fact that you aren¡¯t hurting for money. Why did you let all

    of us look down on you?¡±

    She snorts before turning to fully face me. ¡°And when was I supposed to tell you? You barely wanted to

    be around me and you would even go to great lengths to make sure we aren¡¯t together for long.¡±

    I stare at her. Looking deep in her brown eyes. There was something new in them. Something that

    wasn¡¯t there before. There was also something missing.

    She continues as she looks outside towards the garden. ¡°Besides would you even have been

    interested? As far as I can remember, you didn¡¯t particrly care about anything that concerned

    me¡±

    My eyes drift as I watch people walking in and outside of the garden. She was right. I had been a cold

    bastard. I rationalized at that time that I didn¡¯t need to care about what the woman who had destroyed

    my life was doing.

    I resented Ava and it showed in the way I fucking treated her for years. I always prided myself in being

    a good person, but looking back I have to admit that I had been prick. So much so that my wife kept a

    whole part of her life a secret to me.

    ¡°About Emma¡­¡± I go to apologize for the words I carelessly threw at her but she cuts me off.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it, I¡¯m not after you Rowan and I don¡¯t n toe between you and Emma, you

    can rest assured that all the love I had for you is dead. You managed to kill it She takes a steadying

    breath ¡°Loving you was the biggest mistake I have ever made and I don¡¯t n on continuing with that

    mistake¡±

    Fuck, why the hell did it feel like someone took a fucking sledge hammer to my heard at those

    words?!

    ¡°I will always be thankful because you gave me Noah. He¡¯s the only good thing you¡¯ve given me

    since I¡¯ve known you. I regret falling in love with you but I will never regret our son.¡±

    She turns around and faces the door to the room. She smiles and I swivel around to look at what

    she¡¯s staring at. Her eyes were on Ethan.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry for the trouble I caused you¡± she says her eyes still on the fucking bastard. ¡°I¡¯m sorry that my

    mistake tore you from Emma, I know no one believes me especially you, but I was drunk that night.

    Anyway, I wish you the best with your new rtionship¡±

    As if feeling eyes on him, Ethan turns and fucking smiles at Ava.

    ¡°I n to stay away from your life and I ask you do the same. Don¡¯te to my house, don¡¯t hire

    bodyguards for me, don¡¯t call me unless it concerns Noah and even then I prefer you pass any

    messages to yourwyer then he can forward it to mine¡± Her eyes were still fixed on Ethan

    The way she looked at him let me know that something was going on between them. I didn¡¯t like the

    ufortable feeling I was having inside me.

    She finally faces me. ¡°I think I¡¯ve said all there is to say¡­goodbye, Rowan¡± she then begins walking

    towards the door.

    My heart is screaming for her to stop and I clench my fist against the unknown need to pull her to

    me.

    She stops and then turns around. ¡°One more thing, please assure Emma that I don¡¯t want anything to

    do with you and on that note, you might want to get the truth from her. If you want your rtionship to

    work, then it can¡¯t be built on lies she told just to get me into trouble¡±

    With that she walks away.

    ¡°Ava¡­¡± her names leaves my lips in a fucking plea.

    I watch as Ethan meets her half way. He then takes her hand and leads her outside. I face forward just

    in time to see them making their way into the garden

    It takes everything in me to stop myself from losing control when I see Ethan kissing her I quickly turn

    around to avoid seeing them. My fucking heart drumming in my chest.

    This is what I wanted. That she would move on and leave me and Emma the hell alone. I got what I

    wanted

    She was stepping aside. She had a new man. So why the hell did it feel like it was one big fucking

    mistake? Why did it feel like something inside me was dying?

    She was supposed to be the wrong woman. Yet now that she walked away, I can¡¯t help but feel lost.

 Chapter 41

    Something¡¯s changed

    Ava

    I was dead on my feet and I wanted nothing more than to soak in a bathtub before going to sleep.

    We had been nning this banquet for weeks. At first I wasn¡¯t supposed toe. It was supposed to

    be like always where Mary represented me. After my breakdown in the kitchen that day, I decided it

    was time to stop hiding.

    Mary was excited when I told her that I would be attending the dinner party. For five years my identity

    had remained a secret. Not because I was afraid of anyone finding out but because I just wanted to live

    my life in peace.

    I didn¡¯t want to be in the limelight. I didn¡¯t want people all of a sudden sucking up to me because they

    realized I was rich. Now, though I coulde out of the shadows. I knew those that are

    genuine and those that are not.

    I mean fuck, there are already people here tonight who were trying to get on my good graces. Men and

    women who had looked down on me and treated me like shit before, simply because I didn¡¯t

    have a high paying job and ording to them. Because they believed I didn¡¯t have a dime to my

    name.

    It was fucking frustrating. I just wanted to be away from them all.

    ¡°I still can¡¯t believe that you¡¯re the founder of Hope Foundation¡± Letty says awe in her voice. ¡°Why

    didn¡¯t you tell me?¡±

    It was hours after my talk with Rowan. I stood next to him and told him my mind. Told him how

    things were going to be like and I felt nothing.

    There¡¯s just something so rejuvenating about letting the past go. I wasn¡¯t fully healed, but my heart

    didn¡¯t hurt every freaking second like it used to

    Iteel nothing towards Rowan and my so called family. No anger. No bitterness. No hatred. I was sort of

    numb and I liked that I liked that I could now breathe easily without the constant feeling of drowning

    ¡°Ava?¡±

    I turn to Letty ¡°Yes?¡±

    ¡°You haven¡¯t answered my question¡± Letty says with a pout

    ¡°I didn¡¯t tell you because no one else knew except for those who work at Hope foundation, the

    children and Noah I had requested them to keep it a secret till I was ready for my identity to be

    made public¡±

    She nods her head in understanding Then she grows quiet. Her eyes shift to Rowan¡¯s table Landing on

    Travis and staying there for a while before she pulls them away

    Since Rowan was our biggest donor, our tables were close to each. I heard everything that was said

    earlier From Christine and Emma mocking me to Letty defending me and calling out their childish

    behavior

    When Travis told her to leave, I knew I couldn¡¯t let her I asked Mary to tell the bodyguard to stop her

    and bring her to our table. As for Christine, it was just a little payback for all those times she was cruel

    to me. It was so satisfying seeing her leave with her tail tucked between her legs.

    ¡°You can go to him Letty it¡¯s okay. I don¡¯t mind I tell her nodding my head towards Travis direction

    He also threw nces at Letty once in a while She didn¡¯t notice it, but I did.

    *I can¡¯t. Not after his abominable behavior. He says he wants you to be forgiven by you and yet he lows

    Emma and Christine trash talk you¡± her anger lises just a little, showing just how mach in still passed

    her off a

    ¡°I¡¯m thankful that you stood up to me, but as you can see I don¡¯t need anyone fighting my battles I give

    her a soft smile ¡°You love Travis, I see that You¡¯re my friend Letty My bestled if I was being howest and

    that means i want the best for you I want you happy and if Travis makes you Sappy then I can ept

    that

    She stares at the, before her eyes grows big ¡°Something has changed¡±

    What do you mean?¡± I ask trying to hide my smile

    There is just something different about you, now that I¡¯m looking at you what is whats

    I dont know Head be that I just got thed of living in bitterness of could be that that sex with

    it 1

    san ? Tot my chip in thought ¡°It¡¯s definitely the cer

    ¡°What cerns, making some people tom taus

    I

    Iugh at howical she looked.

    ¡°You had sex with Ethan?¡± she repeats as if she just couldn¡¯tprehend what I was telling her.

    ¡°Yes¡± I smirk remembering it. ¡°Multiples times actually¡± (1

    ¡°When you say multiples times, do you mean in one night or more than one night?¡±

    I can¡¯t help the grin that takes over my face ¡°I mean multiple times a night for several days¡±

    Her jaw drops open before her mouth curves and she grins at me like an idiot.

    ¡°Damn woman! I mean if him sexing you is what is bringing that goofy grin on your face then continue

    doing you babe. You deserve to have great sex and be happy¡± 2

    This is one of the reasons why I love Letty. She didn¡¯t judge and she was so supportive.

    I throw my hands around her and bring her in for a hug. ¡°Thank you Letty, for just being you¡±

    She¡¯s caught off guard for a while, but then she recovers and hugs me back.

    ¡°Now, go and talk to Travis. I know you want to¡± I tell her.

    This time she doesn¡¯t wait around. She excuses herself and leaves our table just as Ethanes back.

    He takes his seat before turning and kissing my lips

    ¡°You¡¯re truly addictive¡± he whispers in my ear.

    I swallow as his warm breath and words ignite a new kind of heat inside me.

    ¡°Ethan¡­¡± the wordse out as a breathy moan.

    ¡°Your dress leaves nothing to the imagination, Ava¡­.I want nothing more than to have those beautiful

    legs wrapped around my waist as I bury my cock so deep inside you, you¡¯ll be feeling me for days¡°>

    I clench my legs at the image he painted.

    It was safe to say I was truly fucked when ites to Ethan. He has taught me so much about myself

    and my desires. My likes and dislikes in bed. I didn¡¯t even know there was so many ways of bringing

    someone pleasure.

    With Ethan, I was slowly rising from slumber. I was finally epting my sexuality

    I came to the realization that I loved sex a lot. Ethan taught me to ept that. He taught me to never

    be ashamed of that. To never be ashamed of asking and to never be ashamed of initiating it.

    With Rowan, I tried pushing my needs down because deep down I knew he was sleeping with me out

    of need not because he wanted to. He¡¯s the one that always initiated sex. I never once did for fear of

    being turned down. So even when the need arose, I used to push it down until he came to

    me.I was just about to ask Ethan if it was possible to find a private ce when my phone rings.

    I see mother¡¯s name shing, the mood was instantly killed.

    ¡°Excuse me, I have to take this¡± I tell him.

    Having seen the calls several times and knowing they were Noah, he nods his head with a smile.

    I walk out to the garden and answer.

    ¡°Hey mommy¡± my sweet boy greets.

    ¡°Hello, my love¡­how are you today?¡±

    ¡°Bored¡± he grumbles. ¡°How¡¯s the party? I feel so bad I couldn¡¯te¡±

    I did want him to attend, but I was afraid of putting him in danger. The chief officer called me earlier

    today and told me that the man who had attacked me was killed.

    He also told me not to let my guard down. He said that just because the guy was dead, it didn¡¯t mean

    that there wasn¡¯t any more danger.

    ¡°I know honey. It is a wonderful party and I will send you pictures.¡± I pause. ¡°Your friends also told me to

    say hi to you¡±

    We used to go with Noah to the foundation houses on Saturdays. He hit it off with the kids there, even

    the older ones. They all loved him and even asked for him today.

    ¡°Is Kingstone there?¡± he asks in excitement.

    ¡°Yes he is¡­I gave him your grandmother¡¯s number, he said he will call you soon¡±

    Caleb and Noah had a rtionship like I had never seen before. Caleb viewed Noah as his baby

    brother and vice versa. Even though they had a huge age gap between them, they were close Those

    two could fall for bound

    ¡°Yes¡± he screams through the phone. ¡°I¡¯ve missed him so much.¡±

    ¡°And he has missed you too¡± I smile even though he can¡¯t see it.

    ¡°Alright mommy, it¡¯s time for me to sleep¡­I just wanted to hear your voice before I do¡± he tells me

    sweetly and my heart warms at that.

    It was now night. The children had already gone back to Hope House a couple of hours back. Just like

    with any other house with children. Hope House had curfew

    ¡°It¡¯s okay. Goodnight and remember that I love you so much¡±

    I felt my eyes moisten. Damn it, I miss him so much. It¡¯s been months and I just want him with me.

    ¡°I love you too, mommy. Goodnight¡±

    It¡¯s after I hang up the phone that I feel eyes watching me. I look around, but I see nothing. I hadn¡¯t

    realized that I¡¯d walked a bit far away from the hall. That I had gone deeper into the darkened garden,

    where there were no people around.

    I start moving.

    I could still feel those eyes burning at my back. Picking up the hem of my dress, I increase my speed.

    The moment I do, I start to feel heavy footsteps behind me.

    My heart starts racing and I start running. Shit, how could I have been so stupid? There was still a

    target on my back and yet I walked to a secluded ce.

    Whoever the person is, increases their pace also. I wanted to look behind me, but I knew that would be

    a mistake. I was running in heels. The possibility of tripping was great and that¡¯s thest thing I wanted.

    I start panicking when I feel them gaining on me. The air was filled with something dark and sinister.

    Something dangerous. I knew I was good as dead if I don¡¯t get to the hall quickly.

    I push myself to run faster. The person was right on my tail when I crossed into the glittering lights

    illuminated by the hall.

    The moment I do, I feel the suffocating presence recede. I stop and breathe heavily. When I don¡¯t see

    anyone after surveying the ce, I turn and quickly walk to towards the hall.

    I was thankful but confused The person could have easily killed me. Even when I was running All it

    would have taken was a bullet to tha baali-

    Deep in thought, I wasn¡¯t focused on where I was going.

    ¡°Sorry¡± I mutter after bumping into another person.

    I look up after steading myself. My whole body freezes. I had bumped into Emma.

    She thest person I wanted to be around right now. I wanted to ignore her but the look on her

    face told me she wasn¡¯t about to let me go. She was out for blood and it was mine she was

    desperate to spill.

 Chapter 42

    We¡¯re done

    Rowan

    I watch as Emma excuses herself and stands up. I wouldn¡¯t have bothered with her if it wasn¡¯t for

    the fact that she walks out minutes after Ava.

    My gut was telling me to follow her. I couldn¡¯t get over the words Ava spoke to me about Emma. It

    was fucking with my head and I needed answers. Especially after how Emma has been behaving.

    The excitiment she had abouting here was now gone. I bet my fuckingpany it¡¯s because

    we learned that the function was hosted by Ava. That Ava wasn¡¯t a loser as she had thought.

    None of the others had a problem except for her. Gabe had even asked a couple ofdies for a

    fucking dance. As for Travis despite the mournful looks he gave Letty, he seemed fine being here.

    Especially after Letty joined us at our table.

    Slowly I stand up. I don¡¯t say anything even when the others give me weird looks.

    I walk outside to find Ava and Emma standing face to face.

    They were so focused on each other that I don¡¯t think they even noticed me.

    ¡°Do you think that just because you¡¯re the founder of Hope foundation you¡¯re now something?¡±

    Emma asks Ava.

    I hear as Ava sighs tiredly. ¡°I don¡¯t have the time or energy to deal with you, Emma so could you step

    aside?¡±

    As I watched both of them something told me that I¡¯ve been wrong all this time. That everything I

    believed has been nothing but a fucking lie.

    ¡°You¡¯re nothing Ava. I keep telling you and nothing will change that. Having money won¡¯t change the

    fact that we all hate you Rowan especially¡± Emma sneers but Ava isn¡¯t affected.

    ¡°Are you done? Because all I hear is the same bullshit you¡¯ve been spouting since you came back she

    pauses before continuing. ¡°Now if you¡¯ll excuse me, I¡¯m done with your nonsense

    She goes to bypass her but Emma grabs her hand in a not so gentle manner. I was sure that it would

    leave a damn bruise. I go to move but Ava rips her arm from Emma¡¯s

    ¡°Rowan is mine, Ava stay the fuck away from him, Don¡¯t start thinking that you¡¯re now his equal

    I couldn¡¯t see Emma¡¯s face since her back was turned to me. I could see Ava¡¯s though and she was

    starting to get pissed.

    She throws her hand up in the air. ¡°How many times do I have to tell you I¡¯m not after Rowan? What will

    it take to get it through your thick skull that I¡¯m over him? You can keep him for all I

    care. I don¡¯t fucking want him¡±

    At her words, something ufortable settles inside me.

    ¡°I don¡¯t believe you! I saw him follow you to the balcony. You ruined my rtionship with him. once, I

    won¡¯t let it happen again. I¡¯ll do everything in my power to make sure you dont seed¡± Emma¡¯s voice

    was hard as she spoke.

    ¡°Is that the reason why you lied to him? Why you continue pretending you¡¯re the victim and I¡¯m the

    viin? Did you even tell him that both times you used me of hurting you, you¡¯re the one that

    brought drama to my house?¡±

    My hands fist. I didn¡¯t know that. Emma had told me that Ava is the one that sought her out and like the

    fool I¡¯m starting to believe I am, I believed her.

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter. He only needed to know what I told him. Can¡¯t you see, Ava? Rowan will always take

    my side against you. He will always believe me over you because he loves me while you mean nothing

    to him¡± she answers with pride in her voice.

    I close my eyes against the truth. I wanted Ava to be wrong but she wasn¡¯t. How many times have I

    believed others over her? How many times have I punished her for something someone lied

    about?

    The weight of just how unfair I might have been starts to set in. I hated that there was that possibilty.

    Ava snorts, making me open my eyes. ¡°It¡¯s sad really. That you have to stoop so low just to keep him

    You say you love him yet you¡¯re manipting him, lying to him What kind of love is that? His love for

    you may be genuine but I doubt yours is. If it were then you wouldn¡¯t be using such dirty tricks on him¡±

    Before Emma can say anything, Ava continues.

    What do you think will happen when Rowan find out you lied to him? When he finds out the things you

    said about Noah?¡±

    My entire body freezes at the mention of my son¡¯s name. I wanted to know what was said, because

    if there is one thing I will never tolerate, it¡¯s anyone bad mouthing Noah.

    ¡°He¡¯ll never find out, you know why? Because he¡¯ll believe whatever I tell him. That¡¯s how much

    he trusts me¡±

    ¡°A trust you¡¯ve broken countless of times.¡± Ava lets out a breath. ¡°Rowan is my least favorite

    person and I would dly push him off a cliff for what he has put me through, but he doesn¡¯t deserve to

    be blindsided by the woman he loves. The woman he has faithfully loved for years. It¡¯s

    unfair to him¡± 1

    With that she again goes to step around Emma but she grabs her hand again.

    ¡°Let me go or I swear I¡¯ll have my men kick you out like I did with Christine and Brenda¡± Ava

    wams, a dangerous tone in her voice.

    I step out of the shadows. It was time for Emma and I to have a little chat.

    ¡°That won¡¯t be necessary. I promise I will deal with her¡±

    They both turn to me. Ava gets out of Emma¡¯s hold and leaves without giving us a second nce.

    Emma is frozen. Looking like a deer caught in headlights.

    ¡°How long have you been standing there?¡± she asks, her voice trembling.

    ¡°Long enough to know that you¡¯ve been lying to me¡± I snarl,pletely pissed off. ¡°Now I want you to

    tell me the truth right now, dare lie to me Emma and I fucking swear you won¡¯t like it¡±

    She swallows before hesitantly nodding.

    ¡°Did Ava p you two weeks ago?¡± I ask, my jaw clenched.

    ¡°Yes?¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    She doesn¡¯t say anything. Just stares at the ground. It¡¯s fucking funny how she had a lot to say to Ava,

    but now she was all of a sudden mute.

    ¡°Fucking answer me Emma!¡± I boom, startling.

    She had to realize I wasn¡¯t a boy anymore I wasn¡¯t the same guy that would ignore her ws because

    he loved her.

    ¡°B¨Cbecause¡­¡± she doesn¡¯t finish the sentence. Her mouth mps shut and she looks at me with tears

    filling her eyes.

    ¡°I don¡¯t like to waiting. It¡¯s either you answer me or I go find out the truth from Ava and trust me you

    don¡¯t want that. I want to hear the truth from your fucking mouth¡±

    I see her throat move as she swallows hard. She was now cowering, but it didnt faze me

    ¡°I¨CI told her to keep Noah on a leash. That I won¡¯t let him destroy my rtionship with and if I had

    to I would make you ship the brat off to a boarding school just so he¡¯s away from us¡± she was shaking

    as the words poured out of her.

    Stumbling, I try taking a steadying breath. Unable to believe what I was hearing. I believed her. I

    supported her. I even went to Ava¡¯s house and spewed all that shit because I was angry on her behalf,

    when in truth she had lied to me.

    The only truth she told was about the p and even that she manipted me in order to have her. I

    now see why Ava pped her. She was just as protective over Noah as I was.

    Where the fuck did things go wrong? Emma has always been nice. She was the most kindhearted girl I

    ever met. She didn¡¯t have a mean bone in her body. That¡¯s why everybody loved her.

    The woman standing before me was theplete opposite of the girl I knew and loved. She¡¯s

    malicious, envious and bitter. Characters I would have never associated with Emma.

    ¡°We¡¯re done¡± I manage to say through my clenched jaw.

    ¡°W¨Cwhat?¡± she stammers, disbelief in her voice.

    ¡°It¡¯s only because of the history we shared that I won¡¯t make you pay, but no one and I mean no one

    gets away with fucking with my son.¡± 2

    ¡°Please don¡¯t do this, Rowan¡± she cries trying to grab me. ¡°This is supposed to be our second. chance¡±

    She throws herself at me but I gently entangle her from my body.

    ¡°Maybe and maybe not¡± I tell her before walking away.

    I hear her crying and calling my name but I don¡¯t turn back This time her tears don¡¯t move me

    This was the best decision for us. Not only because of what she did, but also because my head was a

    fucking mess

    I didn¡¯t want to hurt her but I also knew that would be inevitable with my current mental state. I

    couldn¡¯t im I loved her while thoughts of my ex¨Cwife upied my entire head. I couldn¡¯t im I

    wanted to be with her when the thought of Ava with someone else manages to push me over the

    edge. 1

    I thought I didn¡¯t have any feelings for Ava, but what if I was fucking wrong this whole time?

 Chapter 43

    Hope house

    Ava

    It was Saturday. A day after the dinner party. Yesterday had been hectic but I was happy that it

    had been a sess none the less.

    I get out of bed and go to my bathroom for my morning routine. Even though Ethan hade back

    to my house with me, he didn¡¯t sleep over. He had an early start today and he didn¡¯t want to

    interrupt my sleep when he it was time for him to leave.

    I brush my teeth as I think about all that happened yesterday.

    When Emma cornered me I had been ready for a showdown. I knew the moment Rowan walked

    out and found me and Emma having a face off.

    I find it surprising that I could sense his presence when Emma couldn¡¯t. I wanted to get back at

    Emma for all the lies she spouted. I wanted Rowan to see the kind of woman he was madly in love.

    I meant every single word I told her, but it was time for his eyes to be opened.

    Everyone held Emma in high regards. They thought that she was perfect. That she wasn¡¯t capable

    of anything bad. While that is true for the girl she used to be, it isn¡¯t for the woman she had

    be.

    Maybe the pain of losing Rowan all those years back had changed her. Maybe being awyer had

    cracked her interior and made her ruthless. I¡¯ll never know. The truth still stands that she has

    changed a lot and not for the better.

    After I finish brushing my teeth, I step into the shower. It doesn¡¯t take me long to be done.

    Walking into my bedroom, I pick up my outfit for the day and put it on. Just like always I¡¯m

    I move downstairs and start preparing breakfast for myself. I had a meeting with Mary at The

    Hope House at nine. It was a normal procudure that happens everytime we hold and event.

    My phone vibrates with an iing text while I was eating, interrupting my thoughts.

    (Morning beautiful)

    I smile at the message from Ethan. It felt so good to be wanted and desired. This is how I¡¯d wanted

    things to be with Rowan but he held back. We could have had a wonderful rtionship but he¡¯d

    It was his loss.

    I was now with a man that treasured me and that¡¯s all I could hope for.

    [Morning too] I end it with smiley emoji.

    [What ns do you have for today?]

    [Nothing much¡­.I just have to stop by Hope House then I¡¯ll be meeting Lettyter on in the evening]

    [Sounds good¡­I miss you already]

    [Really? You miss me exactly or my pussy?] I yfully reply to him.

    I bite my lips as I wait for his reply. I¡¯ve never been this bold and it both terrified and excited me.

    [Both? Fuck, I¡¯m hard from just thinking about how good you feel.]

    [You are?]

    I loved that he was aroused because of me. Just from thinking of me. 1

    I used to think that I aroused Rowan, but after what he said I¡¯m not so sure. He might have gotten

    aroused because he imagined it was Emma he was fucking.

    [YES¡­Which is embarrassing given I¡¯m in a squad car and I¡¯m sure my partner noticed my hard dick] 1

    Iugh at that. Unable to contain my happiness. Ethan was good at making me feel special. He made

    me feel like a queen, unlike Rowan who had always made me feel like I was unwanted and unloved.

    [You poor baby, maybe I can make you feel betterter on]

    You¡¯re up for that? I was roughst night, are you sure you aren¡¯t sore] he texts back.

    I answer with another smiley face. [I¡¯m sure..don¡¯t worry about it!

    His replyes back a few minutester.

    (I guess I need to up my game¡­the goal was to make sure you remembered each and every thrust

    with every step you took]

    Finishing my breakfast, I ce the dishes on the sink. Making a mental note to wash themter.

    [You can make it up to meter]

    When he doesn¡¯t reply for a while, I decide it was time for me to leave. I take what I need, close my

    house and get into my car.

    I was feeling giddy as I drove to my destination. For once in a long time, I feel like things were falling

    into ce. It doesn¡¯t take me long to get to Hope House.

    Hope House is a masterpiece, boasting of a sleek and contemporary design. It features clean lines and

    large ss window. The exterior is painted in soft inviting color palettes that blends in with the lush

    green surrounding.

    As you approach the house, a long tree lined driveway wees you, leading up to an impressive

    entrance adorned with a grand double¨Cheight ss door nked by tall ornamental columns.

    When you step inside, you are greeted by a breathtaking foyer with a soaring ceiling and an exquisite

    chandelier that sparkles like a thousand diamonds.

    The interior of the house is designed with both beauty and functionality. The living room is flooded with

    natural light and it features plush andfortable sofas arranged in a way that creates a cozy

    gathering.

    The kitchen is a chef¡¯s dream with a state of the art appliances, marble countertops and arge ind

    with barstool seating.

    Hope House includes numerous spacious bedroom, each uniquely decorated ording to each child¡¯s

    preference, ensuring that each one of them has a personalized andfortable ce to call their own.

    It also has recreational areas like a game room, home theatre, library, gym, an indoor swimming pool

    and a yground with swings and slides.

    All Hope Houses are built on acres ofnd and with the same design. We pride ourselves in offering

    the best to these kids,

    When I asked my architect toe up with the design, I wanted these kids to have a ce they would

    be proud to call home,

    A part from Noah, Hope Foundation was my other pride and joy. It always makes me happy that Tut

    able to change their lives.

    I¡¯m greeted by the little kids when I get to the living room. Today was azy day. Where they all

    got to rx and just chill.

    I hug as many as I can before moving forward.

    ¡°Hi Ava¡± the older ones who were rxing in the sofas greet me in unison.

    I smile at them and then greet them back.

    ¡°Does anyone know where Mary is?¡± I ask them.

    ¡°She¡¯s in the office¡± Kira, a seventeen year old who was kicked out by her parents after getting

    pregnant answers.

    She got pregnant at fifteen and she has been with us for two years. She decided to keep her baby

    and we epted her decision. Monica, her baby girl was a breath of fresh. She was the liveliest

    baby I¡¯ve ever met and everyone just adores her.

    I thank her and walk to the office. I get more greetings from the other kids and the stuff.

    I find Mary seated at the desk with a magazine. She looks up and smiles.

    ¡°You face is stered all over the magazines¡± she says as she hands me the one she was reading.

    The front page is a picture of me giving my speech yesterday.

    AVA SHARP TURNS OUT TO BE THE MYSTERIOUS FOUNDER OF HOPE FOUNDATION, THE

    LARGEST MOST SUCCESSFUL CHILDREN¡¯S FOUNDATION IN THE COUNTRY.

    I read the caption and snort before dropping the magazine.

    ¡°There are several more magazines with more or less the same title¡± she says spreading the

    magazines across the tables. ¡°Some of the things written and spected are hrious, you should

    read them¡± t

    I shake my head ¡°No, I really don¡¯t care what they have to say¡­can we just focus on work?¡±

    ¡°Sure¡± she answers pushing the magazines aside.

    ¡°Give me the report so far¡±

    ¡°Everything is good. The party was a sess and as of yesterday the donations have doubled¡±

    She hands me some papers and I go through them. I was impressed with their progress. I know

    donate to be seen, but I don¡¯t care. Provided the money was helping these kids then I didn¡¯t care what

    their reasons for donating was.

    ¡°If you look here¡± she points at an amount in the reports, ¡°You¡¯ll see that your ex¨Chusband donated ten

    million dors yesterday night¡±

    I stare at her in shock. Rowan is our biggest donor but he has never donated that much money in one

    sitting before.

    ¡°Impressive, right?¡± she asks smiling.

    I nod my head as my eyes go back to the paper. So far, since Hope foundation started, Rowan has

    donated every single month and has donated close to seventy million in total.

    My phone vibrates and I take it out. I find a message from Ethan.

    [Sorry beautiful, I got busy and didn¡¯t get a chance to reply]

    I was about to reply when Mary panicked voice calling out my name makes me look up.

    Her face was shrouded in fear and terror.

    ¡°What is it, Mary? I ask feeling my anxiety spike.

    ¡°Y¨CYour¡­¡± she stammers

    ¡°Spit it out¡± Imand her, she was going to give me a heart attack with the way she was making me

    panic.

    Everything inside me stills when the words finally escape her mouth.

    ¡°Your house has been torched¡±

 Chapter 44

    Arson

    ¡°You¡¯re kidding me, right?¡± I ask her, hoping that she was just joking.

    She shakes her head sadly before handing over her phone.

    AVA SHARP¡¯S HOUSE BURNS DOWN HOURS AFTER SHE REVEALS HER IDENTITY AS HOPE

    FOUNDATION¡¯S FOUNDER.

    I read and re¨Cread the title of the news, hoping that this was one big joke. I¡¯m proven wrong when I

    scroll down and see the video of a burning house.

    As much as I didn¡¯t want to believe it, there was no way to deny that it was indeed my house

    burning.

    With my heart in my throat, I ce Mary¡¯s phone down and stand up quickly. My movements are

    jerky as I rushed out of the room.

    ¡°Ava, wait¡± She calls me but her words fall on deaf ears.

    Faces blur as I move at a speed that would put vampires to shame. Nothing registers in my mind

    as I get outside.

    Getting into my car, I peel out of the parking lot just as Mary burst through the door. She waves.

    her hand. Trying to make me stop. I ignore her and keep driving.

    My head was in turmoil. Anger and panic wage war inside me.

    Did I forget to turn off my stove and that¡¯s what caused the fire? I had no answer because I couldn¡¯t

    remember if I had turned it off or not.

    My phone rings with an iing call from Rowan. I ignore it. I wasn¡¯t in the right frame of mind

    to deal with him.

    I get more calls from Ethan, Letty and even Travis and mother. Just like with Rowan¡¯s call, I ignore

    theirs too. I just wanted to get to my house and see how much damaged they caused.

    ¡°Fucking bitch, watch where you¡¯re going¡± a man screams and gives me the middle finger.

    In my rush to get home, I almost ran him over.

    ¡°Sorry¡± I shout out the window, but he doesn¡¯t listen. He instead continues to curse me and I

    Twenty minutester, I¡¯m pulling into my neighborhood.

    I drive slowly as there are civilians, cops, police cars and a fire truck. I bring my car to a stop and walk

    a short distance to where my house was burning.

    I watch in horror, unable to believe that it was true. Firefighters were trying to extinguish the fire, but

    even I knew that by the time they¡¯re done there won¡¯t be anything left.

    I feel my heart break as I watch the fire consume my house. It may not be grand but it was mine

    and Noah¡¯s home for the past few months. I loved it and I had so many good memories there. 1

    Tears threaten to fall. Why was this happenifng to me? Haven¡¯t I been through enough?

    ¡°Ava¡± his deep voice brings me back from to the present.

    I turn to find Rowan behind me. He looked at me with sympathy and I hated that more than anything.

    ¡°What are you doing here?¡± I ask as I wipe away my tears.

    The only good thing was that no other house had caught fire. I don¡¯t know what I would have done if

    others suffered because of me.

    ¡°You weren¡¯t picking up your phone, I was worried¡± he answers stepping forward.

    I wanted a hug so badly, but I knew I wouldn¡¯t get it from him. Couldn¡¯t get it from him.

    ¡°I¡¯m fine¡± I give my house one final looking before turning and walking away. There wasn¡¯t anything I

    could do anyway.

    I increase my steps when I hear his footsteps behind me. I was out of a home so I needed to get that

    shit sorted out first.

    Getting into my car, I think I¡¯ve lost Rowan, only to be surprised when he opens the passenger door

    and nts hisrge body in my car.

    ¡°What the hell are you doing?¡± I shriek in disbelief.

    ¡°You¡¯re upset, there is no fucking way am I allowing you to be on your own he puts his seatbelt on as

    he replies.

    ¡°Get out I snap.

    He ignores.

    ¡°Get out of my fucking car, Rowan¡±

    He levels me with a cold look. ¡°It¡¯s either you start driving or we sit for however long it takes¡­.your

    choice¡±

    I re at him, but he doesn¡¯t budge. We have a stare down for a couple of minutes. Eventually, I give

    up when I realize he wasn¡¯t going to leave.

    ¡°What about your car?¡± I ask as I start mine.

    I knew that he must have driven here or had his driver drive him. Rowan wasn¡¯t the kind of man

    who takes cabs.

    ¡°Dennis can drive my car back home¡­.I¡¯ll call him when I need him¡± he mutters just as I reverse

    mine and then drive off.

    ¡°Home¡­I no longer have that¡± I whisper sadly.

    ¡°It¡¯s going to be okay¡±

    ¡°Is it?¡± I ask sadly.

    For some reason I felt that it wasn¡¯t going to be okay. That the worst was yet toe.

    Taking out my phone I call my real¨Cestate agent. He picks up on the first ring.

    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, Ava. I saw what happened to your house¡± he says in a high pitched voice.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay¡± I pause. ¡°Please tell me you have something for me, anything really, given I¡¯m now

    homeless¡±

    I didn¡¯t like the idea of staying in a hotel for whatever period of time. I don¡¯t know what I will do if he tells

    me he has no house on offer.

    ¡°I have one and it¡¯s perfect for you. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll love it¡± he says and I sigh in relief.

    ¡°Okay, good please send me the address now, I want to check it out. If I like it then I¡¯ll take it.¡±

    He agrees before I hanging up

    ¡°So you¡¯re getting a new house? You know I have properties which you¡¯re entitled to. You could have

    just picked one and I would have given it you¡± Rowan says startling me a bit.

    He¡¯d been so quiet and I had been so focused on getting a house that I hadpletely forgotten

    that he was with me in the car.

    ¡°No thanks¡­ I can buy myself a damn new house and that is exactly what I will do. I don¡¯t need or

    want your help¡± I snap.

    He mutters something under his breath, but it¡¯s too low for me to hear.

    We¡¯re quiet for a while. The atmosphere in the car awkward.

    ¡°I¡¯ve been wondering how you got wealthy. Thest time I checked, your father cut you off from his will¡±

    he asks breaking the silence.

    At first I thought of ignoring him, but then I realized what he was doing. As much as he was probably

    curious, he also wanted to distract me from my thoughts. To distract me from the fact that I had lost

    completely everything in the fire.

    ¡°I somehow knew our marriage wouldn¡¯tst. It was given either I would give up and ask for a divorce

    or you would. Personally I thought it would be you. I knew it was only a matter time before Emma came

    back and you left me¡± He takes a deep breath at her name.

    I didn¡¯t know what happened between them yesterday after I left, but I didn¡¯t care. It was after all, none

    of my business..

    ¡°I also knew I didn¡¯t want a single dime from you except what was Noah¡¯s. I wanted to continue

    providing Noah a life he was used to and I couldn¡¯t do that on my teacher¡¯s sry, so about four years

    into our marriage I took all my money and invested it in a newpany¡± I pause before continuing.

    ¡°The bank told me that it was risky, that the probability of thatpany seeding was small. They

    were sure that I would lose my money in the end. Tom¡¯s logistics proved them wrong and flourished¡±

    I smile at the memory. Tom¡¯s logistics was a bigpany and very sessful in its field. I was still a

    share hold but a silent one.

    ¡°I started earning from my shares and it felt great. I took a part¨Ctime business course, just to know the

    ins and outs of managing a business. From there, I started investing in startuppanies. Those who

    needed capital and couldn¡¯t get them from the bank, came to me. I went through their business

    proposals and if it had potential then I invested.¡±

    So far, I have not made a bad investment. After thepanies grow, they either buy me out or I

    remain as a member of the board.

    I give him a side way nce, just to gage his reaction. He looked impressed.

    ¡°And this has been going on for more than five years?¡± he asks quietly.

    ¡°Yes¡­when I made my first million, I was so excited to tell you, I wanted you to be proud of me. To

    see that I wasn¡¯t just a loser¡± my mind goes back to that day. ¡°I remember I waited for you toe

    home, but you didn¡¯t so I kept the news till morning, still excited to tell you. When I saw you in the

    kitchen the next day I sat down next to you and told you that I had something to tell you¡±

    I pause to swallow and take a deep breath. The memory was burned into my brain.

    ¡°Instead of listening you turned and looked at me coldly and told me that you didn¡¯t care what I had to

    say. That you didn¡¯t care about my life or what I was doing. You cruelly then told me that I could drop

    dead right then and there and even then you wouldn¡¯t care, so instead of wasting your time and ruining

    your morning why don¡¯t I just go and pester someone else¡±

    The silence that settles over the car is heavy. I see his Adam apple bobble as he swallows.

    ¡°Ava¡­¡± he begins gruffly but I cut him off.

    ¡°So, I never said anything after that morning and since you made it clear you weren¡¯t interested in

    anything I did, I kept quiet about anything and everything that concerned my life¡±

    The memory still hurts, but just like with everything that happened with Rowan, I¡¯m learning to live with

    it. One day I know it won¡¯t hurt so badly.

    We fall into silence again. When I couldn¡¯t take it anymore I move to put on the radio just as his phone

    rings. He picks it up.

    ¡°Yes, I¡¯m with her right now¡± he says.

    He listens before answering. ¡°Sure, we¡¯ll be right there¡±

    He then hangs up the phone and turns to me. ¡°The chief wants to see you at the police station¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Because of the fire he wanted to see us before he leaves for an important meeting, so you¡¯ll have to

    reschedule viewing of the house¡±

    I don¡¯t even think when I turn my car around and head in the direction of the station.

    ¡°Why did he call you?¡±

    ¡°Because I have a personal interest in this particr case¡± that¡¯s all he says.

    ¡°I told you I don¡¯t want or need your help. I would prefer if you stay out of my life¡± I groan in

    annoyance.

    What was so difficult to understand? We were done so he shouldn¡¯t be up in my business.

    ¡°You¡¯re the mother of my son, Ava. There is no fucking way I¡¯m going to sit back when someone is

    targeting you¡± 3

    Since the station wasn¡¯t that far, we get there quickly. I don¡¯t have the time to answer before he¡¯s

    jumping out of the car.

    I quickly follow him and catch up to him just as he is entering the station. We head straight to chief¡¯s

    office. 1

    ¡°Take a seat¡± he says once we¡¯re inside.

    ¡°What do you have for us?¡± Rowan immediately asks, his eyes fixed on Brian.

    ¡°There¡¯s no way to say this, but we are treating the fire as arson¡±

    I could hear him, but for some reason my mind wasn¡¯t processing anything.

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± I ask slowly, my voiceing out shaky.

    ¡°I mean that someone deliberately set you house on fire¡± he pauses. ¡°We believe that whoever it is

    thought you were inside and burned your house with the intention of killing¡± a

    My mind goespletely nk after that. His answer sending chills down my spine.

    Deep down I know. I know that if it wasn¡¯t for the early morning meeting I had with Mary, I would have

    been burned alive. If it wasn¡¯t for that meeting, I would probably be dead right now,

    I was able to escape death yet again, but how long can I outrun it before it catches up to me?

 Chapter 45

    Threats

    I was shopping for furniture, but my mind wasn¡¯t in it. I bought a new house. It was perfect for me

    and it suited my style. Simple yet cozy. It was in a great neighborhood and was even closer to

    Noah¡¯s school. I loved it the moment I saw it. It also had a big backyard where Noah could y

    unlike our previous house.

    ¡°Are you even paying attention?¡± Letty asks in annoyance.

    She was helping me pick furniture my new home. It has been three days since I bought it and yet

    it was sittingpletely empty. I didn¡¯t even have a bed for heaven¡¯s sake. I¡¯ve been sleeping on a

    make shift bed on the floor.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Letty¡­I just have too much on my mind¡± I apologize.

    When you have someone trying to kill you, most other things usually take a back seat. They don¡¯t

    seem as important as trying to stay a live long enough to see you child grow up.

    I still get chills knowing that I was close to dying. Again. That someone deliberately set a fire to

    my house. That they wanted me burned alive. What kind of a sick person does that?

    Plus it can¡¯t be a coincidence that the day of the dinner party someone chased me. Only to have

    my house burned down the next day. 1

    ¡°Is it because of your house?¡± her voice is full of sympathy.

    I clench my hands in fist. ¡°Yes! And not only that, it¡¯s everything. It just makes me so angry. Four

    times, Letty! They¡¯ve tried killing me four times and from what I see they don¡¯t n on stopping

    until i¡¯m dead. I just want to be left the fuck alone¡± I take a deep breath.

    The people around as stare at us at my outburst, but I don¡¯t give a shit about the scathing looks.

    I sometimes felt so lost. I can¡¯t bring my son back home even though I miss, because I don¡¯t want

    to put him in any danger. I haven¡¯t held or kissed my baby boy in weeks.

    ¡°What terrifies me is what if they seed? I haven¡¯t see Noah in three months, Letty. Seeing him

    on video calls isn¡¯t the same as holding him in my arms. What if they seed and I never get to

    see or hold him again?¡± I ask, fighting the tears that threatened to fall.

    ¡°Uh¡­I don¡¯t know what to say¡± she looks at me awkwardly

    ¡°You¡¯re really not good at pep¨Ctalks are you?¡± I ask chuckling, wiping away my tears

    ¡°Hell No!¡± She all but shouts then sighs ¡°I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re feeling but I get you. I know

    how frustrating this must be for you, but don¡¯t let them get to you, cause the moment they do, you

    give them power over you¡±

    I think for a second about what little she¡¯s told me. She was right. I can¡¯t lose it right now. Who

    knows? Maybe that is what they¡¯re counting on. Making me lose it, so that I can be careless and

    make a mistake.

    ¡°Thank you, Letty¡± I give her a side hug.

    Her pep¨Ctalk however small, is exactly what I needed.

    ¡°Good. Now, have you gotten everything you need?¡± she asks. ¡°We¡¯ve been at this for hours and I¡¯m

    starving¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­we can go get something to eat. Let me pay and then I¡¯ll came back and rive the U¨CHaul

    back to my ce¡±

    ¡°You do realize you can just hire them to deliver the furniture right? They¡¯ll even help you moving

    them. You don¡¯t have to do it by yourself¡± she folds her hand and scrutinizes me.

    ¡°I know, but I don¡¯t like strangers in my space. Beside, I¡¯m just driving it. Ethan will be byter on

    to help move the furniture¡±

    She stares a bit before shrugging her shoulders. We head to the cashier and I pay for the furniture

    we¡¯ve chosen.

    There were restaurants and eateries near the furniture store so we don¡¯t have to go far.

    ¡°Fancy or fast and greasy?¡± I ask her already feeling my stomach start to rumble.

    ¡°Definitely fast and greasy¡­is that something you even have to ask?¡±

    I grin at her.

    We find one pretty quickly and soon enough, we are settled. Our food arrive about ten minutes

    Our conversation flows easily. We don¡¯t talk about anything important. We joke, we eat and have a

    fun in each other¡¯spany. For a moment, I forget about my troubles and it felt nice.

    ¡°I¡¯m so full I can barely think straight¡± Letty says, making meugh.

    She had this satisfied look in her eyes and it was just adorable.

    ¡°You look like you just had an orgasm¡± I joke.

    She smirks. ¡°I did, I had a food orgasm¡±

    Laughing I tell her that there is nothing like that. Food and orgasms shouldn¡¯t be used in the same

    sentence.

    ¡°There is¡­food brings pleasure and even if it¡¯s not the same as the pleasure I get when Travis¡® dick

    I gag. ¡°Don¡¯t you dare finish that sentence¡­haven¡¯t you ever had of TMI¡± I look at her in horror. ¡±

    Thest thing I want is to hear what you and Travis do behind closed doors¡±

    ¡°Oops¡± she says sheepishly.

    No sister wants to hear about their brother having sex. They especially don¡¯t want it being

    described.

    My phone beeps and I check the iing message.

    ¡°I have to go¡­Ethan will be leaving work soon and I want to be there when he gets to my new

    ce¡±

    ¡°Okay. It¡¯s about time I head out too. My feet are killing me¡±

    We pay our bills and leave.

    ¡°Thanks for your help today¡±

    ¡°Anytime, Ava¡±

    We say goodbye and she leaves. I walk the short distance to the furniture store.

    I didn¡¯t see them until it was toote. Mainly because I was focused on texting Ethan to let him

    know that I¡¯d be home by the time he gets there.

    ¡°Seriously!¡± her annoying voice makes me lift my head.

    Emma was standing next Travis at the parking lot. She was staring at me like she contemted

    murder.

    I didn¡¯t want her kind of drama so I turn about to move around them but her words stop me.

    316

    ¡°Are you happy now? bitterness and angerced her voice

    *15 BONUS

    Against my better judgement. I turn back around and face her. Travis just stood there stoically.

    like a damn statue

    ¡°Happy about what?¡± I ask het, my eyebrows furrowed.

    ¡°Don¡¯t y dumb with me! Are you happy now that Rowan broke things off with me¡± she seethes.

    ¡°This was your n all along wasn¡¯t it?¡±

    I knew something had happened between them, but I never expected or thought that Rowan

    would break things off. He loved her after all.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know why you think I would be happy about that when it doesn¡¯t concern me¡± I answer

    emotionlessly

    ¡°Stop pretending¡± she shouts drawing the attention of others.

    I look to Travis. ¡°Would you mind controlling your hysterical sister? Thest thing I want is her

    attacking me because she thinks I had something to do with whatever drama is going on between

    her and her man¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re also my sister, Ava¡± he says softly.

    ¡°I haven¡¯t been your sister in a long time, Travis. Or have you forgotten the many times you told

    me that yourself¡±

    He keeps quiet and looks down. I wait for the pain, but it doesn¡¯te. I heave a sigh of relief.

    My happiness is short lived when Emma takes a step towards me.

    ¡°If you think you¡¯ve won then you¡¯re wrong Ava. Rowan is mine and I¡¯ll go through anyone who

    tries to take him from me. I am not going to let you win. This time I will fight you to the death if I

    have to¡± she spits. (2)

    I take a step back and raise my hand. ¡°Whoa, first of all, Rowan isn¡¯t a possession. He¡¯s a living

    breathing person. Second of all, there will be no fighting to the death. If you want him you can

    have him. Keep him for all I care, marry him, fuck him, and give him a whole lot of babies. Just

    get it in your fucking head that I. Do. Not. Want. Him¡±

    I was getting tired of repeating the same thing over and over again. Why was it so hard to believe

    that I no longer wanted Rowan?

    ¡°You expect me to believe that bullshit? You were always obsessed with him¡± she says sneering

    and I snort in return

    *And now it looks like you¡¯re the one obsessed with him now if you¡¯ll excuse me, I have to go.

    You¡¯ve already wasted enough of my time¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not done talking to you, you bitch¡±

    I ignore her but her next words make me freeze.

    ¡°I swear, Ava, if you walk away, I will find that bastard son of yours and make him pay for

    everything. After all, he is the other reason I lost everything¡±

    I hear a sharp gasp from Travis, but it doesn¡¯t register in my mind.

    I don¡¯t think when I move.

    I twist around and push her mming her against a van. I use my forearm on her neck, pinning

    her to the van and choking the daylights from her.

    The self¨Cdefense sses I took were paying off and as of a week ago, I was a licensed gun holder.

    Ethan advised me to start carrying it around after the fire at my house.

    Nothing registers when I take my gun and point it to her temple. (1)

    ¡°If you ever and I mean ever threaten Noah again and I will end you. I will bury your body so deep

    it will take a century to dig it up. Don¡¯t fuck with me Emma. I¡¯ve tolerated you enough and it ends

    today¡± I snarl, feeling crazed.

    ¡°Avalet her go¡± Travis pleads with fear in his voice.

    ¡°If you ever so much as look at my son wrong or I find out you¡¯ve hurt him, I will destroy you

    Emma. There won¡¯t be a ce in this world you¡¯ll be able to run from me. Am I understood?¡±

    I see the fear in her eyes as she nods. After a minute I let her go and she begins chocking.

    ¡°How could you do this to your own sister? You make me sick¡± Travis shouts at me as hees to

    Emma¡¯s side. Helping her up./6

    ¡°She¡¯s not my fucking sister¡± I hiss catching him by surprise. ¡°You told me to stay away from her

    and I¡¯ve done that. Now am asking you to keep her away from me. I won¡¯t have anyone threatening

    my son and I will burn the whole fucking world to the ground if it means protecting him.

    ¡°You heard what she said concerning Noah. She threatened him yet you have the guts to stand

    there and scold me?¡± I re at both of them.

    ¡°Ava¡­¡± he begins to say, apology in his eyes but I interrupt him.

    ¡°Shut your fucking mouth, I don¡¯t want to hear what you have to say. As of this day forward, you¡¯re

    no longer a part of Noah¡¯s life. He doesn¡¯t need a pathetic excuse of an uncle who can¡¯t even stand

    up for him against his bitch of a sister¡± (2)

    He looks heartbroken but I don¡¯t give a fuck. He made his views known when he tried making me

    feel bad andpletely ignored the threat Emma made.

    ¡°As for you¡± I turn to Emma. ¡°Think long and hard about ever going against me. I¡¯m not the same

    pathetic girl you left behind, push me too hard and I¡¯ll push back. Trust me when I say you won¡¯t

    like it when I retaliate¡±

    She¡¯s shaking. Looking at me with wide and terrified eyes. Her eyes are drawn to my hand when I

    put the gun back inside the waist band of my jeans.

    I turn to leave but before I do, I give her onest look.

    ¡°What have you became? Going around threatening innocent children and all for what? A man?

    You¡¯ve changed so much I hardly recognize you and despite being jealous of you when we were

    younger, I also admired you. Ask yourself, are you still the woman Rowan fell in love with years

    ago? Or have you be someone he can never love?¡±

    With that I walk away. Hoping that Emma will realize what she¡¯s be before it¡¯s toote and

    she does something she can¡¯t take back or worse, hurts someone innocent.

 Chapter 46

    Fighting each other

    +15 BONUS

    I was still quite pissed off when I arrived at my new house. It was going to take me some time to get

    used to calling it my home.

    I park the truck and get out only to be surprised. Rowan of all people was sitting outside my house. I

    approach him with a re on my face.

    ¡°If you¡¯re here to scold me about Emma, you can just walk your ass back to your car and leave¡± I tell

    him pointing at his sleek ck Ashton Martin.

    I swear, if he was here to cause me trouble, I was going to beat his ass all the way to space and back.

    ¡°What are you talking about?¡± he asks standing up. A look of confusion on his face.

    ¡°I¡¯m sure that little bitch called you and told you a bunch of lies didn¡¯t she?¡± I seethe,

    remembering what Emma said,

    I tap my foot waiting for him to confirm it. I mean why else would he be here minutes after my

    showdown with Emma?

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what the fuck you¡¯re going on about, but I¡¯m not here for whatever went down

    between you two¡± he says running his hands through his hair.

    ¡°Then why are you here?¡± I ask, curiously.

    ¡°Travis called and said you might need help unpacking furniture¡± he walks towards me and I take

    a step back.

    At the mention of his name, my fury rises again. Those two were something else. Sometimes I

    wonder how the fuck I was rted to them. 3

    ¡°Don¡¯t even mention his fucking name to me¡± I snap.

    He has known Noah since he was born. So how the fuck could he just stand there and let Emma

    threaten him. Then scolding me for getting angry was just ridiculous.

    ¡°What did he do?¡±

    ¡°He stood by when Emma threatened Noah and then had the gets to admonish me when I almost

    blew her fucking brains¡±

    I wait for him to blow up on me like he usually does. I wait for him to take her side. He doesn¡¯t,

    whiches as a big surprised

    ¡°She did what?¡± his voice booms and it may be my imagination, but I swear, I feel the earth shake

    at his voice.

    I swallow, not sure what to do now. I expected him to fight me.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t want to fight with her, so I walked away. She stopped me by saying she would make Noah

    pay given he was part of the reason why she lost you¡±

    I take a step back at the storm raging in his eyes. Danger coats his eyes and electricity cracks in the air

    around. He looked ready to murder. A look I never thought he would ever have when it

    ¡°If she so much as touches a hair on his head, it will be thest thing she ever does¡± he growls

    dangerously. His voice taking a deeper note.

    I¡¯m shocked. I won¡¯t lie. His threat was clear. The look in his eyes told me that he wasn¡¯t bluffing.

    That he would really end her if she hurts Noah

    ¡°Calm down¡± I try soothing. ¡°I¡¯m sure after the warning I gave her, she won¡¯t so much as look in

    Noah¡¯s direction¡±

    I saw the fear in Emma¡¯s eyes and I know at that moment she knew that she had crossed a line. A

    line she knew would get her in trouble.

    I had no sisterly love towards her. It ended a long time ago. She knew that, which also means she

    knew that I wouldn¡¯t hesitate to hurt her if she hurt my son.

    Rowan tries to calm down, but it¡¯s a difficult feat. He has always had a temper and getting it under

    control was difficult. He put a tight lid on it, but sometimes it barely contained it when he lost it.

    ¡°Look¡­¡°I begin, but his eyes go unfocused.

    They were trained behind me. /The anger I saw in his eyes minutes ago multiplies ten folds just as

    I hear a car door m behind me.

    I let out a tired sigh knowing it was Ethan. Ethan didn¡¯t like Rowan and looking at Rowan, the

    feeling was very mutual.

    ¡°What¡¯s he doing here?¡± they both ask at the same time.

    I step away to look at both of them. They are ring at each other. Brows furrowed and fists

    clenched Their jaw tightly locked.

    ¡°It looks like you¡¯re both here to help me move the furniture, so can we get a move on it?¡± I don¡¯t

    give them a chance to answer, instead I turn and head towards the truck. (2)

    I unlock it, before turning to face them. Six hands were better than four. Besides, some of the

    pieces looked heavy. It would be easier for both of them to carry instead of just me and Ethan.

    ¡°Will you stop having a stare down ande help me?¡± I ask when none of them move.

    Rowan grunts then stomps towards me. Ethan soon follows.

    ¡°So what will you carry first?¡± I mumble when none of them move to do anything.

    They were beginning to get on my nerve. I was sure none would leave, if I asked them, but they

    were also not helping. If I knew this was going to happen, I would have just hired someone.

    Finally, Ethan moves first and grabs one end of the sofa. After clenching and unclenching his jaw,

    Rowan takes the other end.

    They silently move and take the sofa into the living room. Picking what I could easily carry, I take

    them inside.

    We work quietly. I did try to engage them, but they both seemed to be in a terrible mood.

    Thirty minutes or so, most of the heavy stuff had been moved. I was getting some throw pillows

    when I heard a crash. I rushed inside the house to find Ethan and Rowan, rolling on the floor,

    punching each other.

    ¡°Stay the fuck away from her¡± Rowan growls,nding a punch on Ethan¡¯s face.

    I stare at them in shock. My mind refusing to believe that they were behaving like children

    fighting over a toy. Not that they were fighting over me. Rowan would never fight over me.

    ¡°The hell I will¡­you had your fucking chance and you blew it¡± Ethan shouts. Hends a hit,

    managing to punch Rowan in the gut.

    ¡°Would you two stop it!¡± I shriek, but no one pays me attention.

    They continue fighting. Creating a mess in my house. Dropping the pillows, I go get a bowl of

    water. I don¡¯t think when I empty it on top of both their heads.

    Theye out of it and stare at me like I¡¯m the one that had lost her mind.

    ¡°What they hell are you two thinking? Fighting and making a mess in my house¡± I scream at both

    of them,pletely pissed at their stupid behavior.

    ¡°He started it¡± Ethan mumbles like a petnt child.

    ¡°I don¡¯t care who started it!¡± I take a deep breath before turning to Rowan. ¡°What the hell has gotten

    into you? What is your problem?¡±

    His eyes shes. ¡°My problem is that you¡¯re dating this asshole!¡±

    I so didn¡¯t expect him to say that. I mean, why would he have a problem with who I date?

    ¡°Who I date is none of your business, Rowan. Besides, shouldn¡¯t you be happy that he¡¯s upying my

    time and I¡¯m no longer bothering you¡± I say folding my hands across my chest.

    ¡°If you had been dating anyone else then I wouldn¡¯t fucking care, but this bastard is a whole other

    story¡± (

    ¡°Would you stop calling him names!¡± I didn¡¯t like it one bit.

    Ethan didn¡¯t deserve being called names and being disrespected by my ex¨Chusband. What Rowan

    was doing was uncalled for.

    ¡°Why can¡¯t you see it? Why can¡¯t you see he¡¯s not the man he pretends to be? Open your fucking eyes

    and see the real him. Are you so fucking desperate to be loved, so desperate to have a man

    that you¡¯re ignoring the truth that¡¯s staring at you right in the fucking face?¡± he mocked. D

    The words hit me like shards of ss. Their sharp edges biting into my skin and heart.

    ¡°Get out of my fucking house, Rowan. I won¡¯t let you disrespect Ethan or me¡± I seethed as my

    hands balled into fists. The need to hit him almost consuming me.

    He res at me. His eyes sending daggers. ¡°If you can¡¯t see reason, then I¡¯ll dly leave. I won¡¯t

    stay here and see you making googly eyes at an asshole who has a hidden agenda and is only

    using you¡±

    He turns, but before leaving he gives me onest look. ¡°Mark my words, Ava, the bastard isn¡¯t who

    he says he is and he will hurt you. When he does you¡¯ll have no one to me but yourself because

    I warned you and you didn¡¯t listen¡±

    With those disturbing words, he storms out my house. Banging the door behind him.

    Rowan is wrong. I don¡¯t know what¡¯s gotten into him but he is wrong. Ethan would never hurt me.

    Unlike Rowan, he actually cares for me.

 Chapter 47

    That night

    Rowan

    ¡°What the hell happened to you?¡± Gabe asks looking at the ice pack that was stered to my face.

    ¡°Ethan¡± I just grunt. Not in the mood to deal with my brother.

    Fuck! I still can¡¯t believe that I got into a fight with the fucking idiot. I was just so pissed and I let

    his words get to me.

    ¡°The cop?¡± He asks curiously. ¡°Ava¡¯s new man?¡±

    At that I blow. I take the ice pack and throw it against the wall.

    ¡°He¡¯s not her fucking man¡± I snap standing up.

    My emotions were raw and close to the surface. I still don¡¯t understand why Ava can¡¯t see that the

    fucker is a fraud.

    I haven¡¯t been able to get anything deeper about him. The reports paint him as an okay guy.

    Nothing out of the ordinary, but my gut tell me otherwise. There was just something about him

    that rubbed me wrong. Something that he was hiding. My gut has never been wrong before.

    ¡°From what I hear, he is¡­what happened?¡±

    I take a deep breath, trying to cool down the fire burning inside me.

    ¡°We were helping Ava move furniture into her new house and he told me to back off. Said that she

    was his and he wasn¡¯t going to allow me to ruin things¡± I admit finally.

    Gabe stares at me like he can¡¯t believe what I just said. Like I was trying to figure out what the

    hell was wrong with me.

    ¡°Seriously? That¡¯s what made you get into a fight with him¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡±

    He sighs before sitting down. ¡°In case you haven¡¯t noticed, she¡¯s no longer your wife and given that

    he is dating her, he has every reason to ask you to back off. Isn¡¯t that the same thing you asked of

    Ava when you started dating Emma?¡±

    I fist my hand in frustration. Why is it that no one saw what I saw. No one realized the truth? How

    ¡°It¡¯s not about that¡± I seethed. ¡°There is just something about the man that isn¡¯t fucking right. Why

    can none of you see that?¡±

    I start pacing my home office. My fury burning so close to the surface. I was almost losing it. First I hear

    that Emma threatened Noah and that Travis did nothing. Then I had to watch while Ethan

    and Ava made googly eyes at each other.

    She was so taken by him. So enthralled that she couldn¡¯t see a fucking thing. What the hell was wrong

    with her? She¡¯s the most cautious person I know, yet she let him into her life without even

    question anything.

    ¡°What are you talking about?¡± he asks giving me his whole attention.

    I don¡¯t stop pacing. I just couldn¡¯t sit down with all the fucking emotions inside me.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know how to fucking exin it, but there is just something I don¡¯t like about him.

    Something doesn¡¯t feel right with him¡±

    It doesn¡¯t make any fucking sense, but I can¡¯t ignore the feeling. That¡¯s why I have my P.I

    investigating him.

    Gabe says nothing for a while and when he does, I feel like punching the crap out of him.

    ¡°Could it be that you¡¯re jealous of him?¡±

    ¡°The fuck I am¡± I bellow. ¡°Why the hell would I be jealous of him? I don¡¯t have any fucking feelings

    for Ava, remember?¡±

    What he was saying was absurd. I could never be jealous when ites to Ava. She is my son¡¯s

    mother and I¡¯m looking after him. That¡¯s all.

    ¡°Look, you were married to her for nine fucking years, it¡¯s hard to stay with someone for that long

    and not develop any feelings towards them. Especially someone who isn¡¯t truly evil¡±

    I stare at him in shock, before shaking my head. ¡°There¡¯s no fucking way that I developed feelings

    for her. I stayed married to her because of Noah. My heart always belonged to Emma and you

    know that. That¡¯s the reason I couldn¡¯t develop any feelings for her¡±

    He hadpletely lost his fucking mind. It¡¯s not unusual for people to stay married even though

    they don¡¯t love each other. Nine years couldn¡¯t change the fact that I wasn¡¯t Ava biggest fan.

    Especially not after the stunt she pulled to get me to sleep with her. 2

    ¡°Then exin to me why you feel so strongly about her dating Ethan?¡± he insists.

    ¡°I already fucking told you! I wouldn¡¯t have cared if she dated any other man, but something is just

    fishy with that cop¡±

    We were going round in circles and it was only making me more pissed. I thought at least he

    would understand but looks like he doesn¡¯t. Instead he has this stupid notion that I¡¯m angry

    because I have feelings for Ava and that I¡¯m jealous.

    ¡°I¡¯ll be the first to admit that what Ava did nine years ago was wrong. We treated her horribly for it, but

    what if she wasn¡¯t lying when she said she was drunk? What if she was telling the truth?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s impossible¡±

    ¡°Is it? We all wanted you with Emma. We¡¯ll except for Ava. After what happened, we wanted

    someone to me. It was easier to me the girl who had been obsessed with you for years than

    to ept that both of you had made a mistake¡± (3)

    Looking at him quietly, I stand frozen. What the fuck had gotten into him?

    I watch as he takes out his phone and dials a phone number.

    ¡°What are you doing?¡± I question him suspiciously.

    ¡°Something we should have done a long time¡­I¡¯m finding out the truth about that night¡± he says.

    We wait a bit and then someone answers the phone. I stare at him numbly as he ask the person to

    get him the video footage from the bar and the hotel. He thenmands him to get it within an

    hour.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re trying to achieve by digging this shit up¡± I tell him after he hangs up

    the phone.

    It was all in the past. We all knew what happened, so what the hell was digging up the past going

    to achieve?

    ¡°A part from knowing the truth? Well, it will clear things for you. Like I said, I believe you feel something

    for Ava and you have felt it for a long time. Your bitterness at what you believe is her

    betrayal is what keeps you from admitting the truth¡± he looks at me straight in the eyes.

    His grey eyes which are simr to mine, challenging me to argue with him.

    I turn on my heels and take a seat. I refuse to let him see how bothered I am by all this. I¡¯m still

    his shady character led to him insisting that I was blocking my feelings for Ava

    We don¡¯t speak. I was now pissed at him too, but he didn¡¯t seem to notice or care because he was

    busy doing something on his phone.

    I don¡¯t know how long we sat in my office when his phone pinged

    I watch him closely as his face turns to shock them mortification. My curiosity gets the better of

    me. I now want to see what¡¯s gotten him so disturbed.

    ¡°Gabe?¡± I cautiously call his name.

    He looks up. His eyes haunted as he silently gives me his phone. I take it with shaky hands,

    knowing I won¡¯t like what I see.

    Slowly, I look down at his phone. I watch as everything unfolds. I watch as the truth I held on for

    so long crumbles. I watch as the real events of that night are revealed.

    Cursing, I stand up. Unable to bear the impact of what that video meant.

    Ava had been telling the truth the whole time. We were both drunk, meaning for the past nine

    years she was med and punished for something that wasn¡¯t her fault.

    ¡°Fuck!¡± I shout, unable to contain the crushing weight inside me.

 Chapter 48

    Gut feeling

    Anonymous POV

    I pace around my apartment feeling on edge. I¡¯ve tried calling the bastard but he¡¯s not picking up

    He has been quiet since he burned down Ava¡¯s house. That more than anything scares the crap

    out of me because I don¡¯t know what he is nning.

    If I don¡¯t know what he¡¯s nning then I can¡¯te up with a counter attack incase he messes up

    like ck Serpent.

    Picking up my phone, I call one of my men.

    ¡°Boss?¡± ke answers in the first ring.

    ¡°Have you been able to locate him?¡± I ask him.

    I¡¯m never one to worry. Never one to be anxious about things, but I was this time. I just got this bad

    fucking feeling that something was going to happen.

    I couldn¡¯t shake the feeling of doom that was wrecking havoc inside me.

    ¡°No¡­it¡¯s like he¡¯s fallenpletely off radar.¡± He replies, making me curse. ¡°No one has been able

    to locate him¡±

    When I found out that the ck Serpent had been caught, I knew that I had to get rid of him.

    It wouldn¡¯t have been long before the police caught up to him, so I blew his brains off. I couldn¡¯t

    let him lead them straight to me.

    I was right after all. It didn¡¯t take long for the cops to catch up to him. Luckily I had taken care of

    him already.

    I know people like him. Mainly because he is made from the same cloth I am. If he had been

    caught, then he would have given me up to save his sorry ass. (1)

    He didn¡¯t have any loyalty towards me, so he would have easily given me up. I couldn¡¯t let that

    happen. Not when I had worked so fucking hard to get to where I was.

    Everything turned out perfectly. He died. The police lost their only advantage and I got a new

    hitman.

    ¡°Boss¡± ke calls my name, pulling from my thoughts.

    ¡°What is it?¡°My mind was racing.

    Like I said, this wasn¡¯t like me, but something just didn¡¯t feel right. I didn¡¯t like the gut feeling I

    was getting.

    ¡°I said we¡¯ll keep an eye out and let you know incase something turns up¡± he mumbles through

    the phone.

    I grunt. ¡°Fine. Just fucking find him. I want to know where he is ASAP¡± 1

    I hang up the phone and continue pacing. Feeling so restless and on edge. This isn¡¯t how imagined

    things going. Somewhere in the middle, things got mixed up and now I feel like i¡¯m running out of

    time. Like I have a noose tied around my neck.

    ¡°Fuck!¡± I shout before punching the wall next me.

    I just feel it. Just know that things wille undone. That every thing I¡¯ve done. Every secret I¡¯ve

    kept and every lie I¡¯ve told will soon be revealed. 2

    I don¡¯t know if I¡¯m fucking ready for that. Don¡¯t know if I¡¯m ready for the bacsh I¡¯m sure to get.

    Picking up my phone again, I call the one woman who has the ability to calm me down. The one

    that has always understood and stood by my side.

    ¡°Hi, mom¡± I greet as I sit down, trying to control my restlessness.

    ¡°Hey honey¡± she shouts excitedly. ¡°It¡¯s so good to hear from you. I¡¯ve missed you so much¡±

    At her voice, I sink into the couch. Tension leaves my body and I melt.

    ¡°I¡¯ve missed you too mom, more than you can imagine¡± I mumble into the phone, feeling like a

    child again.

    All my fears and worries fade away.

    ¡°Not that I don¡¯t like hearing from you, but why did you call? Shouldn¡¯t you be at work?¡± She asks.

    I don¡¯t know how to exin that to her. How do I tell her that I called because I needed to hear her

    voice onest time before things fell apart? How do I tell her that I wanted herfort onest

    time because I doubt I¡¯ll get it when she finds out what I¡¯ve done? (5

    ¡°Nothing Just needed to hear your voice¡± I simply answer, my voice catching at the end.

    ¡°Are you alright sweetie?¡± She asks concerned. It¡¯s in her voice

    I smile at the pet name she has had for me since I was kid. ¡°I¡¯m okay, just stressed with work.

    That¡¯s all¡±

    ¡°You work too much. You need to take a vacation or something. It¡¯s not like you can¡¯t afford it¡± she

    chuckles.

    I hear shuffling, then the unmistakable sound of pots and pans. She was either cooking or baking.

    I can bet all my damn money that she was baking. She loved baking more than anything.

    ¡°I¡¯ll take a vacation when things settle¡­there¡¯s just so much going on right now¡± I partly lie.

    With the pending doom that was hanging over me, I doubt I will ever get that vacation. I¡¯m not a

    good person. I fucking know that, but it doesn¡¯t stop me from praying that things go my way.

    ¡°Fine.¡± She gives in. ¡°But at least take a weekend off and just rx. It will be good for you. It¡¯ll

    clear your mind and give you a chance to look at things from a whole new perspective¡± she

    advices.

    This is one of the reasons why I fucking love my mom. She has the best advices. She¡¯s one of the

    few intelligent women I know and she doesn¡¯t shy away from showing it.

    She is right. Since there was nothing I can do right now about the hitman I hired, maybe I should

    take a break. One weekend won¡¯t hurt.

    ¡°Thanks mom¡­I really needed to hear that¡± I tell her gratefully.

    I loved the woman more than life. She was just the fucking best and no words can exin what

    she means to me.

    ¡°Anytime sweetie, you know I love¡± she says after a heart beat.

    ¡°I love you too, mom¡± I whisper, feeling fucking emotional all of a sudden.

    I was about to say more, but I¡¯m interrupted by an iing call.

    It was ke.

    ¡°I have to go, mom. Take care and say hi to everyone¡± I tell her, desperate to hear what ke has

    to tell me.

    ¡°I will sweetie¡­take care and don¡¯t be stranger¡± there is a hint of a smile in her voice.

    After I agree, we hang up and I immediately call ke.

    ¡°What do you have for me?¡± I ground. All traces of softness gone from my voice.

    I hoped that he had news about Hawk. As the hitman likes to be called. He was at Ava party and

    managed to scare her. Then he burned down her house the very next day.

    I asked him why he did it. Unlike what the police suspected, he didn¡¯t do it because he wanted to

    kill her. He knew she wasn¡¯t in the house. He did it to scare her.

    He told me that he liked ying with his victims before he finally killed them. Just like a cat

    ys with a mouse. He said he likes instilling fear in his victims before ending them.

    Since then, he has been quiet. nning. He hasn¡¯t revealed his n and he disappeared a week

    ago. I¡¯m clueless about what he ns to do and that freaks me out.

    ¡°Well!¡± I snap, when after a minute or so, he still hasn¡¯t said anything.

    ¡°We managed to trace him and by what we¡¯re collecting, he has Ava¡± he says in one breath.

    The air gets stuck in my lungs, before I finally release it. I heave a sigh and stand up.

    I take my gun. ¡°Send me the location¡± I tell him before hanging up

    It was time to finish this once and for all.

 Chapter 49

    Kidnapped

    Ava

    It¡¯s been about two months after my house was burned to the ground. So far nothing has

    happened to me in those few months.

    There hasn¡¯t been any more attacks. It¡¯s been quiet and I was hoping the bastard had given up on

    killing me.

    The chief told me not to get my hopes high. He advised to stay on guard and be on the lookout.

    ording to him, such people don¡¯t give up easily. He told me that he or she was probably

    bidding their time. nning. Waiting for the perfect time to attack.

    I get what he was saying, but it¡¯s hard not to have hope when they have been quiet. It¡¯s easy to

    rx and let my guard down when it seems like they¡¯ve left me alone.

    These past few months have been the best of my life. Of course it can¡¯tpare to those moments

    I¡¯m with Noah, but they have been pretty great nheless.

    What made them the best was Ethan. Every moment I¡¯ve been with him has taught me something

    new about myself.

    I love being around him and if I¡¯m honest with myself, then I¡¯ll admit that I¡¯ve developed feelings

    for him.

    He¡¯s everything I¡¯ve ever wanted Rowan to be. Kind, loving and attentive. Not to mention that the

    sex is amazing. I see the soft look in his eyes as he stares at me and I always fucking hope that he

    feels the same way I do.

    I can see myself building a life with him. That is if he wants me.

    Most would probably say that I¡¯m moving too fast. Maybe I am, but I don¡¯t think so. I¡¯ve wasted

    nine years loving a man that didn¡¯t deserve my love. Nine years with a man that hated me. Of

    course when I get a chance to be happy I¡¯m going to grab it with both hands. It¡¯s not even

    something to think about or debate.

    My phone ringing brings me out of my happy thoughts of Ethan. I was a woman on cloud nine and

    nothing could bring me down.

    ¡°Where the hell are you?¡± Letty¡¯s screaming voicees through the speaker.

    We were having our weekly meet up and I was a little bitte. me it on Ethan and his expert

    tongue

    ¡°Chill woman. I¡¯m just pulling up¡± I roll my eyes even though she can¡¯t see me.

    Letty doesn¡¯t liketeness, which is funny because she¡¯ste like eighty percent of the time.

    ¡°Fine!¡± She huffs before hanging up.

    I park my car and get out. Rushing into the club, I spot her in the VIP section almost immediately.

    Today we decided to do something different. We usually meet in restaurants, but Letty wanted to

    unwind. I immediately agreed. I¡¯ve never been to an actual club and I¡¯ve only ever drunk twice.

    The night Rowan and I messed up and the night Ethan and I first slept together, both I went to

    bars.

    It¡¯s funny really. The first time I slept with both men, I was drinking. With Ethan, though, I was

    tipsy and I remember everything. With Rowan, I only remember bits and pieces.

    ¡°Finally¡± she says when I take a seat opposite her.

    Given we were in the VIP section, it wasn¡¯t that noisy and so I could hear her clearly.

    ¡°Sorry, I got caught up doing something¡± I smirk.

    She grins at me already knowing what I was caught up doing. I didn¡¯t need to dive into the details.

    It was simple for her to understand.

    ¡°Then cheers to you babe!¡± She shrieks in happiness.

    She picks her ss up and hold it up in the air before downing it. With the way she was behaving,

    I¡¯m going to take a guess and assume that she was already tipsy.

    ¡°You should get this drink¡­it¡¯s the shit¡± she says then calls the bartender and ask him to bring me

    a ss.

    A few minutester, he is back with my drink. I taste it and my eyes bulge wide.

    ¡°Told you it was good¡± she smiles.

    ¡°It really is¡± I answer in amazement.

    It is just as I like it. Nice and sweet. I don¡¯t like the bitter taste of alcohol. That¡¯s why I rarely have

    ¡°So, how have things been?¡± I ask her after a while.

    ¡°Not bad, but it has been a hectic week¡± she answers with a sigh.

    ¡°Anything I can help with?¡±

    ¡°If you can give me an extra pair of hands, legs and a new brain then yes¡± she leans back against

    the couch.

    I chuckle. ¡°Now that¡¯s something I can¡¯t help you with¡±

    ¡°And you? Have you managed to get in touch with Rowan?¡± She inquires.

    Since the day he and Ethan fought, I haven¡¯t been able to get in touch with him. Even when it¡¯s

    concerning Noah. When I call he doesn¡¯t pick up. When I send him a message I get a response

    from hiswyer instead.

    I should be happy. I¡¯m the one that came up with that idea in the first ce, but something about

    it doesn¡¯t feel right. It was like he was avoiding me and for the life of me, I couldn¡¯t understand

    why.

    I sigh. ¡°Nope. He doesn¡¯t want to talk to me and I won¡¯t force issues¡­besides, I¡¯m the one that

    asked him to keep his distance. He¡¯s probably for once respecting my wishes¡±

    ¡°I highly doubt it¡± she murmurs with a far away look.

    ¡°You know something?¡±

    ¡°Not really, but I¡¯m suspecting something happened¡±

    I look at her in doubt. The only thing that might have happened is if Emma asked him to stay

    away from me. I doubt that though. Rowan isn¡¯t someone to do as he¡¯s told. Especially if whatever

    he¡¯s being told involves Noah.

    I shake my head to clear it. ¡°I doesn¡¯t matter. None of it matters for today. We are here to have fun

    and let loose¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re right¡± she says happily as she checks her phone. ¡°Shoot. I need to use the bathroom. Be

    right back¡± 2

    She doesn¡¯t give me a chance to respond before she rushes away.

    I wait, but she doesn¡¯te back. I wait for another five minutes, but she¡¯s still not back. I start to

    get worried Standing up I begin walking to go check on her

    I start to panic when I don¡¯t find her in the bathroom. I rush back to the VIP section.

    ¡°Have you seen the woman I was with a few minutes ago?¡± I ask the bartender.

    He smiles at me. ¡°Yes, I saw her leaving through the back door.¡±

    ¡°Thanks¡± I murmur and leave. Wondering why the hell she would leave without informing.

    Especially since her phone and purse were still inside.

    I get out and start looking around. I don¡¯t find her. I was getting my phone out to call Travis when

    someone knocks me on the back of the head. I fall unconscious.

    When I wake up, my vision is a bit blurry and my head is throbbing. It takes a while for me to

    realize that I have been kidnapped.

    My hands were tied and I was hanging from the ceiling. I shake the chains, struggling to get out.

    ¡°Don¡¯t bother¡­you won¡¯t be leaving this ce alive¡± a gruff voice to my left says.

    I look around before my eyes finallynd on him. I was in a sort of warehouse. It seemed to be

    abandoned because there was nothing in it.

    The man that had spoken looked to be in histe thirties with thinning blonde hair. He had a

    beard which surrounded a pair of thin lips. Amber eyes stared at me with evil intent.

    ¡°Who are you and what do you want?¡± I was afraid.

    ¡°Who I am isn¡¯t important as for what I want, you already know¡± he answers with a shrug.

    It was just like I had feared. My luck had ran out. Now I was here with this mad man and I doubt

    anyone would get to me in time.

    ¡°Please let me go¡­I beg you, I have a son¡± I plead in a shaky voice.

    I can¡¯t control the tears that fall down my face at the thought of dying and leaving Noah.

    ¡°No can¡¯t do¡­I¡¯m being paid big bucks to kill you¡±

    ¡°If it¡¯s money you want then I can give you all you want. I¡¯m rich¡± I try reason with him.

    If that¡¯s all he wanted then I could fulfil his desires. It wouldn¡¯t be that hard to transfer money into

    ¡°wish it was all about the money, but I took a job and I always finish my assignment.¡± He smiles

    like that is something to be proud of.

    It would be if it was any other job but not when you¡¯re a cold blooded killer.

    *Please I¡¯ll do anything. I¡¯ll give you anything¡±

    He stands up and walks towards me. He runs his knife down my face.

    ¡°You¡¯re pretty and I would like to have you, but still, you¡¯re not worth losing my reputation for¡± he

    whispers into my ear sending chills down my spine.

    I¡¯m saved from his disgusting touch when therge door opens. We both turn and for a moment

    I¡¯m happy. I¡¯ve been saved.

    His next words, though, shatter my illusion.

    ¡°Boss, look what I¡¯ve got¡± he smiling proudly. ¡°I promised you I¡¯d get the job done¡±

    Everything inside me freezes as the weight of betrayal sits on my heart. I couldn¡¯t believe my

    ears. The person I least expected turned out to be my enemy.

    How the hell did I not see thising?

 Chapter 50

    Missing

    Rowan

    I¡¯m a coward in and simple. Two fucking months and I still can¡¯t myself to face Ava of even

    talk to her

    What was I supposed to tell her? What could I tell the woman I thought had tricked me when it

    had turned out that she wasn¡¯t at fault?

    I¡¯m ashamed of myself. Ashamed of all the things I did to her. Ashamed of letting her take the

    me. I¡¯m ashamed that I stood by while everyone treated her like shit, because I thought that

    she deserved it.

    I don¡¯t know how to face her. How to look her in the eyes and apologize. I don¡¯t fucking know how

    to apologize to anyone simply because I¡¯ve never been in the wrong. I am always fucking right

    except when ites to Ava

    I take a sip of my whiskey as I try to drown that fucking guilt. It doesn¡¯t do much but at least for a

    few minutes I can pretend that my whole fucking world wasn¡¯t turned upside down with the truth

    ¡°Sir, Mr Sharp is here to see you. He looks a bit distressed¡± my housekeeper interrupts me by

    saying.

    ¡°Let him in¡± I simply answer before turning away.

    When the truth came out, Gabe couldn¡¯t hold it in anymore. He shared the video with everyone. So

    now both families know that Ava wasn¡¯t lying when she said she was drunk.

    Everyone felt guilty except for Emma. She still held on to her grudge, saying it doesn¡¯t excuse the

    fact that she went after a guy that wasn¡¯t hers.

    My rtionship with Emma hasn¡¯t improved. She keeps pushing, but for some reason I just can¡¯t

    bring myself to give in.

    I don¡¯t know what the fuck is going on with me. I wanted a chance with Emma. A future with her,

    yet here I am pushing her away for some unknown reason.

    I turn when Travis enters my office.

    ¡°What going on?¡± I ask when I realize that Martha was right. He looked distressed.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know, but I need your help. He grabs onto his hair. Tm freaking out¡±

    I stand up from my seat and round the desk. I sit on it then pull a ss, pour some whiskey before

    handing it over to him

    ¡°Calm me down and tell me what happened¡± I tell him in a controlled and calm voice

    He takes a few deep breaths before answering ¡°I got an unexpected call from Ava, before she could

    say anything though, I heard a small scream and then nothing. I tried calling back but there wasn¡¯t an

    answer. I tried calling Letty because they were going out together but I can¡¯t reach her either. It¡¯s been

    almost two hours and none of them is answering their phones¡±

    I straighten at what he said. My brows pulling down in worry. Ava would never call Travis willingly so

    something happened. Something was wrong.

    ¡°Do you know where they went?¡± I ask already taking my phone out.

    ¡°No. Letty didn¡¯t tell me¡±

    Drake picks up on the first ring. ¡°Get me the location of Ava¡¯s car¡±

    ¡°On it¡± he says before hanging up.

    I got a tracker on her car without her knowing. It was the easiest way I knew to keep track on her

    and protect her since she asked me to withdraw her security details.

    Secondster I get details of where her car is parked. I¡¯m surprised to realize that it was parked

    near one of my many clubs.

    ¡°Let¡¯s go¡± I tell Travis and we leave.

    It doesn¡¯t take us long to get to our destination. We get out and get immediate entry into the club.

    After speaking to one of the bartenders and showing him a picture of Ava and Letty, he shows us

    the private booth they chose.

    ¡°Both their purses and Letty¡¯s phone are still here¡± Travisments as he goes through Letty¡¯s

    bag.

    ¡°Have you seen them since they came in?¡± I ask Matt, the bartender.

    ¡°No, they came in and ordered some drinks. They talked for a while. The girl with ck hair stood

    up and went to the bathroom before going outside. Soon the br followed her out. None of them.

    came back inside¡±

    I was fuming My insides churning in anger

    ¡°You didn¡¯t fucking think to check on them to make sure they were alright?¡± I explode then pin

    the imbecile to the wall.

    The idiot let out a girlish scream. Fear shing in his eyes.

    ¡°I swear I didn¡¯t notice it¡¯s been really busy today and I just didn¡¯t pay much attention that they hadn¡¯t

    come back until now¡± he cowers as if he was trying to blend in with the wall.

    ¡°What¡¯s going on here?¡± A voice I recognize asks.

    I turn to my manager. My anger and worry still choking me.

    ¡°What kinds of idiots do you hire nowadays, Francis?¡± I ask him turning around to fully face him.

    He gasps and tries topose himself now that he realizes that I am not a normal customer.

    ¡°Wh¨Cwhat do you mean Mr. Woods?¡± Francis stammers, his face going ashen.

    ¡°Please exin it to him, Travis, because I don¡¯t think I can without killing and ending their sorry

    asses.¡±

    I pace as Travis exins the situation to Francis, who gets paler with each word.

    ¡°You said that they both went outside?¡± I face the bartender.

    He nods his head in answer.

    ¡°Get me the CCTV footage¡± Imand before leaving through the back door.

    I look outside and find nothing. No clue that can lead us to either of the women. I was about to give

    up when I kicked something with my shoes.

    I look down only to find that it¡¯s a phone. Not just any phone, but I recognize it as the new phone I got

    Ava. Travises out with a tablet just as I was trying to power it on.

    ¡°You have to see this¡± he says urgently, giving me the device.

    In the video, Ava is seening out of the club then being hit by a man whoter carries her

    unconscious body into a getaway car.

    It was obvious that Ava was kidnapped but what the hell happened to Letty?

    ¡°At least we got a clear view of the bastard¡¯s face and the car¡¯s registration number¡± Travis says

    hopefully

    1 ignore him and dial Gabe¡¯s number. He had the best tracker so he was our best shot.

    ¡°I need you to find someone for me¡± I tell him before giving him the details and sending him the

    video

    Don¡¯t worry Ava, I¡¯ming for you.

 Chapter 51

    Betrayed

    Ava

    I stare. My heart beating erratically and my mind racing. How the hell did I get here? How the hell

    did I not see thising?

    I was frozen. Mortified. Unable to utter a fucking word. My world was crumbling down around me.

    Shattering into pieces.

    ¡®Boss¡®

    That one word kept ying in my head. Driving me to the brink of madness then back. All this time.

    Wondering. Guessing. Searching. My enemy was right under my fucking nose.

    ¡°What the fuck is going on¡± the angry shout pulls me back to this painful reality.

    I turn behind me, only to be shocked

    Letty was tied to a chair. She looked afraid and pissed off at the same time. She was bleeding from her

    head. I guess the bastard that kidnapped us hit her on the head too.

    I had been so upied with my fears of dying and trying to get out of this situation that I didn¡¯t notice

    that she was here. In my defence, she was behind me. I didn¡¯t expect anyone behind me.

    ¡°Isn¡¯t it obvious? I kidnapped both of you¡± our kidnapper says.

    ¡°Why would you kidnap her when I¡¯m the one you wanted?¡± I ask looking down.

    I didn¡¯t want to face my betrayer. It was too painful to look at the familiar face.

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t in the n, but then I saw her outside breathing the fresh air. She is rted to your family and

    I knew I could fetch more money if I keep her for ransom¡± he exins with a shrug.

    It kind of made sense. She was Travis¡® girlfriend and from what I know he¡¯s madly in love with

    her. He would do anything to get her back including paying the ransom money.

    ¡°I don¡¯t get it¡± Letty begins. ¡°Then what is Ethan doing here? Is he here to rescue us?¡± She asks

    hopefully. 2

    His name drives a sharp sword into my heart. Why me? I thought that I had finally gotten a good

    man. That everything was falling into ce, but this? I never expected this to happen to me.

    Letty asks again.

    Our kidnapperughs and answers for me. Something that I couldn¡¯t do myself.

    ¡°Save you? Ha!¡± Heughs again. ¡°He¡¯s the one that hired me to kill Ava!¡±

    I hear Letty gasp. I close my eyes at the pain that assaults me. Thinking about it. Guessing about it

    and actually hearing it is two different things.

    I had hoped that there was an exnation. That maybe he had an evil twin brother I didn¡¯t know

    about. The fact that he hasn¡¯t said anything proves that everything his minion said is true.

    I sag against the chains. They were the only thing that were holding me up right now.

    How am I supposed to deal with this kind of betrayal? How am I supposed to look him in the eye

    knowing very well that he wanted me dead.

    All these months, were they all just a game to him? Toying with me and my feelings while he

    nned on the best way to kill me.

    ¡°That¡¯s impossible. Ethan is one of the good guys¡± Letty defends him, her voice shaking.

    I didn¡¯t want to believe it, but the truth was staring us straight in the fucking face.

    Ethan has been ying me for months. Leading me on, getting into my head and my fucking

    heart knowing very well that he wasn¡¯t going to stay.

    It fucking hurt. Nothingpares to what I¡¯m feeling now. Not even when Rowan broke me did it

    hurt as much as what Ethan has done.

    Couldn¡¯t he have just killed me without getting close to me? Without making me develop feelings

    for him. That would have been kinder than what he did. This was downright mean and cruel.

    How sick in the head was he? To make the person you want dead fall for you? He slept with me,

    listened to my worries and made me hope for a future he knew wasn¡¯t going to happen.

    ¡°Now that you¡¯re here boss¡­would you like the honours or should I do it?¡± The man asks grinning

    while giving the knife to Ethan.

    I finally look at him. He wasn¡¯t looking at me though. He was looking at the man he hired to kill

    me.My breath catches when he takes the knife from him.

    ¡°Why? Just answer me that¡± I finally get the courage to ask him. ¡°Why make me like you if you were

    only using me? If you were nning to kill me. Why pretend? Why sleep with me? Why

    Ethan?¡± I ask him brokenly.

    I couldn¡¯t stop the tears that streamed down my face. His eyes were cold as he looked at me. No trace

    of any warmth. I felt like a piece of meat. Beaten to a pulp and then tossed aside. It

    physically hurt to look at his beautiful blue eyes.

    Eyes that hypnotized me from the first time I saw them. The day he knocked on my door after I had

    been shot. Was that day also nned? Did he n the whole thing?

    More pain tears through me at that possibility. That he staged everything to make himself look

    like a hero just so I would let my guard around him. (3)

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to answer the bitch Boss¡­she¡¯s going to die anyway¡± the man sneers in my

    direction.

    They probablyughed at me a million times. Making fun at me for being so stupid and gullible.

    Letty screams when Ethan pulls out his gun and shoots the bastard right on his forehead. His blood

    and probably brains stter on me but I don¡¯t scream. No soundes out of my throat.

    He turns the gun on me. Pointing it straight in my direction.

    ¡°Ethan, please don¡¯t do this¡­this is Ava! You have feelings for her, remember? I don¡¯t care how things

    started but I know that things changed along the way. There is no way you were faking the

    looks you gave her¡± Letty pleads on my behalf, but I¡¯m just so fucking tired.

    ¡°Do it!¡± I ground out.

    ¡°What the hell are you doing, Ava. Stop it. Stop pushing him¡± Letty screams at me, but I ignore her.

    He doesn¡¯t do anything. Just stares at me with nothing in his eyes. All the emotions I used to see

    there is nowhere to be found.

    ¡°Fucking do it, Ethan¡± I scream, as my tears fall down my face.

    I watch. My heart breaks into pieces as he moves his finger on the trigger. I want him to end it. To

    end all of it, because being dead was better than facing the pain that was slowly destroying me on

    the inside. 1

    I close my eyes just as I hear a shot ring out in the empty space.

 Chapter 52

    A girl named Nora.

    Ava

    ¡°Fuck¡± ine grunted shout makes me open my eyes.

    Ethan was holding his shoulder, which was bleeding

    ¡°Drop the fucking gun Ethan or I swear I¡¯ll blow your brains off¡± Rowan¡¯s angry voice prates

    my foggy brain.

    He¡¯s thest person I want to see right now. Mainly because I¡¯m ashamed. He tried warning me,

    but I didn¡¯t fucking listen to him.

    ¡°I have the whole building surrounded, Ethan. You¡¯re outnumbered¡± Rowans adds.

    Just then I hear police sirens and sigh in relief.

    Ethan lowers his gun, before putting it on the ground. His eyes are locked with mine. I want to

    pull them away, but I can¡¯t. I want to be reminded of what a fool I¡¯ve been this whole time.

    ¡°Ava, darling look at me¡± his voice pulls me from Ethan¡¯s cold gaze. It¡¯s only then that I realize

    that Rowan was standing in front of me. 2

    Seeing his face up close brings tears to my eyes. Thest words he said to me two months ago still

    rings in my head.

    I keep my eyes on him as he unlocks the chains. He was my anchor right now. Maybe if I focus on

    him, I won¡¯t drown in the treacherous water of pain.

    ¡°I got you¡± he whispers softly, his voice full of kindness.

    He hugs me to him and I have to fight back the tears that threaten to fall. My eyes collide once

    again with Ethan. He was on the ground and the police were cuffing him. His wound was bleeding,

    but no one seemed to care.

    I watch as they take him away. My heart breaking at the loss of a future I thought we had together.

    ¡°Are you hurt?¡± Rowan asks me, pulling me away from his warmth.

    I felt so cold now. So chilled. I not only felt the coldness on my skin, but it seeped into my

    ¡°Ava?¡±

    I shake my head at his question. My mouth refusing to work. Refusing to say a single word Maybe if I

    just pretended, everything will go away. Maybe I¡¯ll wake up and realize it was all just a terrible.

    dream

    Nothing registers in my mind. I see Rowan¡¯s mouth moving but I can¡¯t hear a thing. I see Travis

    walking with a shocked Letty and Gabe walking in with some of the cops. It still doesn¡¯t register.

    Nothing does.

    I was numb. Or maybe I was beyond numb. I waspletely broken.

    Why did he do this to me? Why go through all the trouble to get to know me if he was always

    nning to kill me? It didn¡¯t make any sense at all.

    The more I thought about it. About us. The more I died inside.

    I felt us moving. Rowan¡¯s hand around my waist. Supporting me. I was so lost in my head and my

    pain that I didn¡¯t realize we were even in a car until we hit a bump in the road.

    The car ride didn¡¯t take long. We were soon parking outside the police station.

    Brian greeted us and led us inside to take our statements. I don¡¯t remember all the things I said or

    how long I had zoned out.

    ¡°Ava¡­¡± Rowan shakes me gently.

    I turn to look at him, only to find that we were in a white room. It wasn¡¯t just us, Travis, Gabe, Letty

    and even Emma were all present.

    Letty had a bandage wrapped around her head. I touch my own and find one too. I didn¡¯t even

    know when it was done.

    ¡°There was an ambnce at the warehouse. They checked you and put on the bandage to stop the

    bleeding. Other than that, everything seemed fine¡°. Rowan said as if he had read my mind.

    ¡°What is she doing here?¡± I ask, pointing at Emma.

    Thest thing I needed was Emma witnessing my pain.

    No one answers. They all just look at me in sympathy. I look at the floor, unable to face them. I

    was just about to ask all of them to leave, when the door opens.

    look back up. Ethan and Brian walk in.

    Ethan was still handcuffed, and his shoulder was bandaged. At least I think it was, since it was no

    longer bleeding.

    ¡°Sa, you requested to hear from Ethan and here he is. Maybe he can tell you why he fooled

    everyone including our entire department¡± Brian says tiredly.

    ¡°He hasn¡¯t said anything?¡°Travis asks, pulling Letty who had tears in her eyes, closer.

    I know how she must be feeling. I introduced her to Ethan, and we even hung out all three of us

    together a few times. She must also feel betrayed like I was.

    ¡°No, he refuses to say a thing¡± Brian shakes his head.

    I turn to face Ethan only to find him staring intently at me. His emotionless gaze sucked me in

    right away.

    ¡°Why? Why did you do this to me, Ethan?¡± my voice trembled as I spoke.

    He stares at me. His cold gaze burned me. Gave me frostbite. I still don¡¯t know where all the

    warmth he used to have went. Did he have a switch for his emotions, and he could just flip it on

    and off when he wanted it? Or did none of it exist? If that¡¯s so then he was one hell of an actor.

    ¡°I wanted thepany.¡± He simply said.

    I was shocked that he had actually answered. I didn¡¯t expect him to

    The shock is pushed back as what he said, registers. Soon, my surprise turns into confusion.

    ¡°Whatpany?¡± I ask

    I didn¡¯t have a Company. I invested in Companies, but I didn¡¯t have any of my own, like Rowan. The

    only thing I had was Hope Foundation, and I don¡¯t see someone like Ethan being interested in an

    organization for helping children.

    ¡°Whatpany are you talking about, Ethan?¡± I push when he doesn¡¯t say a damn thing.

    I needed to know what made him y me like that. What was so important that he would pull

    such a hurtful stunt.

    ¡°I wanted your grandparent¡¯spany¡­I worked so hard for it, so it¡¯s only fair that it was given to

    me¡± he said leaving me more confused.

    ¡°You¡¯re not making any sense.¡± Iugh humorlessly. ¡°You did that for apany that I have no nights

    to If you wanted thatpany so bad, then you should have gone after Travis given it was

    left in his name¡±

    Travis giares at me, but I don¡¯t care. Everyone knows that my grandparents and father didn¡¯t leave

    me a dime. I didn¡¯t even have shares in the familypany like Emma did.

    Ethan sighs tiredly before proceeding to unleash chaos. ¡°I¡¯m not talking about the Sharp¡¯s. I¡¯m

    talking about your real grandparents¡°.

    ¡°What the hell are you talking about?¡± Travis booms. ¡°Don¡¯t listen to him, Ava. It¡¯s probably

    bullshit¡±

    I keep quiet not agreeing with Travis.

    ¡°It¡¯s not bullshit. I¡¯m telling the fucking truth¡± Ethan grits out before turning to me. ¡°Tell me deep

    inside you¡¯ve never felt that they aren¡¯t your family. Tell me you¡¯ve never doubted that you are

    truly a Sharp¡±

    I want to deny his ims, but I can¡¯t. I¡¯ve doubted it so many times that I once thought of having a

    DNA test.

    The way my parents and grandparents treated me since I was a kid was just so different from how

    they treated Travis and Emma. I was always an afterthought. No one important to them. My needs

    and happiness always camest.

    My grandparents used to buy Travis and Emma toys and treats when they came to visit. I usually

    got nothing. No hugs, no kisses. I got nothing but coldness and indifference from them. I never

    understood why they were like that. It made me question if I was truly one of them.

    ¡°You can¡¯t say anything because deep inside you know the truth. You know the Sharp¡¯s aren¡¯t

    your family. That¡¯s why you never felt like one of them¡± Ethan concludes when I didn¡¯t say

    anything.

    I look away. I didn¡¯t want any of them to see the truth in my eyes. To see the biggest insecurity

    I¡¯ve had for a long time.

    ¡°So you really didn¡¯t see us as your family?¡± Travis asks in a small voice.

    ¡°Does that surprise you?¡± I fire back. ¡°I was never treated as part of your family. I was always the

    outcast. The one looking in at the happy family while I was out in the cold¡±

    ¡°Oh please, save us the pity party you have for yourself¡± Emma interrupts, sneering.

    ¡°What the hell is she even doing here?¡± Ethan and I ask at the same time.

    I look at him before quickly pulling my gaze away.

    ¡°She¡¯s your family, Mrs. Sharp¡± Brian says as if it makes sense.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what drugs you¡¯re smoking, but no one in this room, except for Letty, is my family

    So I would prefer if they left, especially Emma¡±

    I feel Rowan tense beside me, but I don¡¯t give a damn. What I said is the truth. Family cares for you

    and no one here except Letty has ever cared for me.

    ¡°Can we just get back to Ethan?¡± Gabe asks after a while

    Ethan shrugs. ¡°I¡¯m going to tell you a story about a girl named Nora¡± he begins

    ¡°Nora came from a middle ss family. Her father was a preacher and both he and his mother

    were staunch christians. She was raised to follow God and the bible religiously and she did until

    she met a boy. Theodore was his name, though he preferred being called Theo.¡±

    We were all entranced already as we listened to him. I had no idea where the story was going, but

    it was all intriguing.

    ¡°They met when they were eleven and even though she tried staying away from him, she couldn¡¯t.

    They started out as friends then started dating at thirteen. Nora knew that it was against every

    teaching she was taught, that her parents would kill her if they found out, but she was in love and

    she couldn¡¯t let go of Theo and neither could he.¡±

    ¡°She thought it would be simple. Hide her rtionship with Theo until they graduated high

    school. She nned to apply to a college far away from home, that would give her the freedom to

    be with Theo the way she wanted. It was supposed to be easy and everything was working out

    well until the unthinkable happened¡±

    He takes a deep breath before continuing. ¡°Nora got pregnant at only fourteen. Theo was

    supportive and he was going to take responsibility because he loved Nora, but her parents found

    out. Her dad in particr went ballistic. He wanted her to get rid of the baby. Nora couldn¡¯t do that

    to her child, so when she refused, her parents kicked her out¡±

    The more he talked, the more my heart got heavy. I don¡¯t know why, but I just felt like what he

    was telling us was going to change everything. I don¡¯t think I¡¯m ready for any more changes.

    ¡°You see, Theo¡¯s parents were kind and they were also fucking rich I¡¯m talking about owning a

    whole damn city, kind of rich. After Theo exined everything to them, they understood. They were

    disappointed in their son, but they took Nora in none the less.¡±

    ¡°Even though they were young, they decided to keep the bab. Her pregnancy progressed well and her

    parents came to their senses when they realized they could benefit from this, after they found out who

    exactly got their daughter pregnant¡±

    Damn, what kind of parents did Nora have? I ask myself. Using your daughter simply because you

    found out that they boy that got her pregnant was from a rich family was despicable.

    ¡°A few monthster, the parents showed their true colours. They demanded to keep the baby.

    They thought they could use their grandchild to get monthly payments for the baby¡¯s care. Nora,

    Theo and his parents refused. It caused a big fight and to make them back off, Theo¡¯s parents

    promised to make a huge donation to their struggling church¡±

    I watch as Ethan narrates the story. There was still no emotion in his eyes. He was like a robot.

    Just narrating facts.

    ¡°Nora went intobour unexpectedly. The baby wasn¡¯t due for another month, so no one expected

    her to go intobour. Theo couldn¡¯t get to the hospital in time and his parents were on a business

    trip. It was a long and difficultbour. When she finally delivered, there wasn¡¯t a cry. She

    immediately knew that something was wrong. Given how young tired she was, she couldn¡¯t stay

    awake, that,bined with the amount of blood she lost made her lose consciousness¡±

    ¡°When she woke up, she was given the most painful news. Her baby didn¡¯t make it. She was a still

    birth¡­ You can imagine how painful it was for all of them, especially for Nora and Theo. It was the

    worst kind of pain losing their baby, a baby they had been looking forward to holding¡±

    I swallow. Dread filling up every square inch of my body.

    ¡°Why are you telling us this?¡± I choke out in fear.

    ¡°I¡¯m telling you this because, Nora and Theo are my parents¡± he pauses, but his next words bring

    me too my knees. 1

    ¡°More importantly, they are your parents too. You¡¯re the child Nora was pregnant with when she

    was fourteen. You¡¯re the baby that supposedly died during childbirth¡± 13

 Chapter 53

    Not siblings

    I sit next to Rowan frozen. My mind unable toprehend what Ethan just told me. First of all

    James and Kate Sharp weren¡¯t my parents. Second, he imed to be my brother.

    ¡°What?¡± I scream as the impact of his words finally sink in. ¡°You slept with me knowing you¡¯re my

    brother? That¡¯s fucking disgusting¡°. <

    ¡°You slept with him? Why would you sleep with him?¡± Rowan boom, a dangerous aura filling the

    room. Suffocating the atmosphere around us.

    I give him a withering look. ¡°That¡¯s none of your business¡°.

    My thoughts were upied with Ethan¡¯s revtion. If what he said was the truth, then it meant I

    had sex with my brother, and he had sex with me knowing the truth.

    I felt bile rising up at that thought. Feeling utterly disgusted. What kind of a sick bastard does

    that? Why would you sleep with someone knowing very well that you were blood rted?

    The more I got to know about Ethan, the more I wondered if he had been acting all along.

    ¡°You aren¡¯t my sister¡± Ethan speaks up.

    ¡°But you just said that Nora and Theo are your parents¡± I point out.

    ¡°I told you I was adapted. That part was true. They did adapt me after my father was killed. We

    aren¡¯t blood rted, so we didn¡¯tmit incest.¡± He smirks then winks ¡°I can however say, I loved

    it every time you screamed my name¡±

    I am mortified. My cheeks turn pink, and I look down.

    Even if we weren¡¯t blood rted, it didn¡¯t make what he did right. If he¡¯s telling the truth then he

    shouldn¡¯t have slept with me at all.

    I feel Rowan tense beside me, but I ignore him. It didn¡¯t make sense why his hands were fisted and

    his jaw clenched.

    Brian clears his throat. The sound cuts through the tense and awkward atmosphere.

    ¡°If you said Nora¡¯s baby died, why then are you iming Ava is that baby?¡± Brian asks, bringing me

    back to the present.,

    ¡°Yeah it makes no sense Gabe adds

    It was true. There is no way Nora and Theo are my parents. If the doctors told them that the baby

    died then that¡¯s probably true. Besides, he did say that the baby wasn¡¯t responsive after birth, and

    Nora witnessed this herself before she passed cut

    ¡°That¡¯s what they she believed. She even held a small ceremony and buried the baby. It was

    months of heartache for the two of them, especially Nora. She fell into depression and had to be

    admitted to a psychiatric facility Ethan exined

    ¡°She wasn¡¯t the same after that news. It¡¯s like she lost the will to live and wanted to follow her

    baby to the grave. Years passed and still she was struggling. Her grades dropped and she

    graduatedte because she failed her sses. Theo was with her throughout, but it was killing

    him to see the gurl he loved suffer¡±

    I don¡¯t know the woman, but I was a mother, and I knew how painful it would be for me to lose

    Noah. I can¡¯t imagine the pain of anticipating the arrival of your baby only to have them taken

    away from you. It would have killed me

    ¡°It took time, but with the love and support of Theo and his parents, she was able to pull through

    They got married when they were twenty two. Everything was falling into ce. She was ready to

    try for another baby. Her hopes were dashed when she was told she couldn¡¯t get pregnant. The

    doctors from when she was a teen failed to tell her that the difficulties of herbour at such a

    young age had caused permanent damage to her womb.¡±

    ¡°After knowing she couldn¡¯t have children, it broke her, but she decided to adapt. That¡¯s when

    they got me. They gave me everything including theirst name¡±

    I remember when he talked fondly about his parents. The love he had was immeasurable.

    ¡°So how does Ava fall into all these?¡± Rowan asks, his eyes ring at Ethan

    ¡°My grandparents died in a ne crash, but I came to know that they had been looking into the

    matter about their granddaughter. Turns out they believed there was foul y. They didn¡¯t tell

    Nora and Theo in case their belief turned out to be nothing. It was around that time I came to

    know that they had a hidden use in their will. One that Theo didn¡¯t know about. Everything.

    including theirpany was left to their granddaughter in the event Theo retired or God forbid,

    died. The familywyer knew about their search and the use.¡±

    He continues. ¡°I couldn¡¯t allow that. I had worked for thatpany since I was twenty five. I rose

    search and imagine my shock when I found out that they were right. There was foul y. Nora¡¯s

    parents paid the doctors and nurses to fake everything, including the death of Nora¡¯s baby¡±

    I just continue watching him. Listening to him as everything unfolded.

    ¡°They thought it would be an embarrassment if their congregation found out that Nora had gotten

    pregnant out of wedlock. When she was pregnant it was easy to hide ¡®the sin¡® their daughter

    isn¡¯t easy hiding a baby, so they paid to have the death of their granddaughter faked and then

    offered her up for adoption¡±

    ¡°My search led me to you. I knew I had to take you out. If you didn¡¯t exist, then the use was null

    and void. I came here and after asking about you, I got a whole lot of information. Given how

    people hated you including your husband and family, I thought I would be doing them a favour.

    After all, a woman who would steal and trap her sisters boyfriend couldn¡¯t be someone worth

    knowing or good for that matter¡±

    My breath catches at that. I still can¡¯t believe that same man that assured me that the night with

    Rowan nine years ago wasn¡¯t my fault, is the same man that thought just for that I didn¡¯t deserve

    to live.

    I try to breath in through the pain, but it¡¯s fucking hard.

    ¡°I have to rify that the first attempt on your life wasn¡¯t on me, but I took the opportunity. I saw a

    chance to get close to you and I took it. What better way than to be a hero to get you to trust me. It

    worked and you opened your door to me.¡±

    Fuck, it hurts so much. To know he yed me from the beginning and I was too blind to see it, just

    tears me apart.

    ¡°Why would you need to get close to me if you had already hired goons to kill me?¡± I whisper.

    That¡¯s what I wanted answers to. Why get to know me if he wanted me dead.

    He shrugs. ¡°I thought it would be fun to toy around with you and pay you back for being a terrible

    person. You were so trusting and gullible, it made things easy for me. Besides that, getting to know was

    my my n B. In case those I hired failed, then it would be easier to kill you myself if I

    was close to you.¡±

    I look down and clench my hands. I felt like a fucking fool. Here I was developing feelings for him

    while all the while he was nning to destroy me.

    ¡°It was supposed to be easy, get to know you then destroy you. I didn¡¯t count on he stops before

    he can finish the sentence. His eyes roaming the room beforending on me.

    For the first time since we found the truth, something passes in his eyes Guilt? Love? I can¡¯t tell

    because it was too quick for me to read into it. He soon after shuts down. Turning cold once more.

    I wanted to know what he stopped himself from saying, but I¡¯m too much of a coward to ask.

    Besides, in light of everything he has done, does it even matter?

    ¡°But even if Ava had died, wouldn¡¯t thepany have fallen into Noah¡¯s hands?¡± Letty asks after a

    while

    ¡°Not really. First of all, I deleted every evidence of her existence just so the familywyer wasn¡¯t

    able to track her and second, the will doesn¡¯t mention anything about the children Ava would

    have¡±

    ¡°This is insane, you know that? You¡¯re telling us that not only is Ava not rted to us, but our

    parents probably knew and never said anything this whole time¡± Travis says standing up.

    Ethan sighs before throwing Travis a hateful look. ¡°That¡¯s exactly what I¡¯m saying and after

    getting to know the kind of woman she is, I¡¯m fucking d that she¡¯s isn¡¯t rted to such a

    disgusting and hateful family¡±

    Travisunches himself at Ethan, but Ethan easily gets out of the way and Travis ends up

    sprawled on the table.

    Rowan scoffs his eyes burning a hole into Ethan¡¯s forehead. ¡°That¡¯s riching from the man

    that wanted her dead¡±

    Ethan res back at Rowan before his eyes turn to me. ¡°I was going to terminate the hitman¡¯s

    services, but he went underground. I didn¡¯t know what he was nning, by the time I did it was

    toote and he¡¯d already taken you.¡± he breathes. ¡°If you don¡¯t believe anything I say, at least

    believe me on that¡±

    I couldn¡¯t stand his intense gaze, so like the coward I am, I stood up and ran out of the room. I

    found myself outside the station. My heart squeezing in my chest like someone had grabbed it

    and was squeezing.

    I try to control the tears, but I can¡¯t. They fall down my cheek and I let them. A sob tears from deep

    inside my soul as I let the depth of his betrayal wash over me.

    Someone pulls me into the chest. I know from the cologne that it¡¯s Rowan. He has a unique scent

    made specifically for him.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay Angel, let it all out¡± his deep voice rumblesfortingly.

    I pull away from him and look up at him. I let him see my tear stained face. Right now, I don¡¯t care.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay, you can say it. You can tell me how much of I fool I was. You can tell me you told me so¡± I

    hup through my cries.

    His grey eyes soften before his arms wrap around me once again. Pulling me back to his warmth and

    comfort.

    ¡°Shh¡± he whispers ¡°I will never tell you that, Ava. Never!¡± 3

    I continue to cry. Wishing the pain away.

    I cry in my ex¨Chusband¡¯s arms after the man I was dating broke me with his betrayal.

 Chapter 54

    The Howell¡¯s

    It was almost noon when I wake up. At first I thought that everything was as it was supposed to

    be, but then everythinges crashing down on me. It wasn¡¯t a bad dream like I had thought.

    Ethan had really betrayed me.

    I feel my tears well up. I cried myself to sleep yesterday and I was just so damn tired of crying. I

    went to bed wishing that it would all change when I woke up. Praying for a miracle, but here I am.

    Nothing¡¯s changed. What I wanted to be nothing but a nightmare, was now my reality.

    I slowly get out of bed. I had no energy to do anything, but I also knew I couldn¡¯t sleep and wallow

    in bed all day.

    I take a long shower hoping it will make things better. It doesn¡¯t. I don¡¯t think anything can make

    everything that happened better.

    After dressing in a t¨Cshirt and some yoga pants, I go to the kitchen for something to eat. I was just

    taking out some eggs when my doorbell rang. I heave a sigh of defeat. I wasn¡¯t in the mood to see

    anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.

    ¡°Hi¡± Letty says with a small smile when I open the door.

    She looks as tired and worn as I am. Hers is probably more physical unlike mine which is both

    physical and psychological.

    ¡°Hi Letty¡± I stand awkwardly at the door.

    I didn¡¯t want to be rude but I also didn¡¯t want anyone near me or around me. Like I said, I wanted to

    be left alone toe to terms with all that I learned yesterday.

    ¡°I know you probably don¡¯t to see anyone right now, but can I pleasee in?¡± she pleads.

    It still surprises me how well we¡¯vee to know each other. It¡¯s like we¡¯ve known each other for

    years, instead of months.

    I let out a breath. ¡°Yeah sure¡±

    It as she walks in that I notice she has a couple of boxes with her.

    ¡°Food¡± she says and I nod.

    I am grateful. I really didn¡¯t feel like cooking even though I was hungry.

    We go to the living room instead. Seating down on the big sofa, Letty joins me and sets down the

    boxes of food.

    I immediately dig in. We don¡¯t talk as we eat. Both of us seemingly lost in our own thoughts.

    ¡°So how are you? I¡¯m worried about you Ava. This can¡¯t be easy for you¡± she says after we are done

    eating.

    For a moment I think about lying to her that I was okay. Just to get her off my back. Besides, it

    was easier to pretend most of the time than to face reality.

    As soon as that thought crosses my mind, I push it away. I needed to talk because I felt like I was

    drowning.

    ¡°It isn¡¯t¡± I begin. ¡°I¡¯m still having a hard time epting that Ethan isn¡¯t the man I thought he was

    and that the people I thought were my family aren¡¯t really blood rted¡±

    I don¡¯t know which of the two was harder to ept. I keep asking myself if things would have

    been better for me. If life would have been great had I been raised by my real parents.

    It would have saved me from ever meeting Rowan, but then I would never have had Noah. Every

    time I think of how things would be different had I not met Rowan, I turn back from those

    thoughts immediately. I would do everything all over again if it meant having my son in my life.

    Gosh I miss him. Now more than ever I wish Noah was here with me. He has always been my

    anchor.

    ¡°I can¡¯t even begin to imagine all you must be feeling. I don¡¯t even know where to begin in giving

    youfort¡± Letty says, pulling me back from my thoughts.

    I look at her and smile a little. She really wasn¡¯t good atforting someone or making them feel

    better. I don¡¯t mind that though. Her realness was better than someone pretending to know how I

    feel.

    ¡°I know, Letty. I¡¯m just having a hard time. Not to mention that it hurts. I was finally starting to

    move on, you know? I thought that I¡¯d finally gotten a guy that would love me and then before it

    can blossom into anything, it gets ripped away from me¡± I blink away the tears, not wanting to be

    weak anymore. Especially for a man that yed and toyed with me.

    I honestly don¡¯t know who is worse. Rowan for using me for sex while he thought about Emma or

    Ethan for ying me and still using me for sex while he nned on killing me.

    +15 15

    She sighs. ¡°I don¡¯t want toe out as rude but I¡¯m gonna hit you with the truth. If I knew that

    this was what you were thinking the whole time, then I would have put a stop to it.¡±

    ¡°What are you talking about?

    ¡°You can¡¯t keep looking for men to love you¡± She sighs again. ¡°How do I put this out without hurting you

    further you went into a rtionship with Ethan wanting someone to love you You

    can¡¯t build you whole expectation on someone else. You can¡¯t think that a man loving you will fill

    the hole Rowan and you family dug¡±

    I don¡¯t get to say anything before she continues.

    ¡°You build this fantasy and I never saw it until now. You think when you find the man that will love you

    then everything will fall into ce. The only person who can fill that hole in your heart is you You alone

    can love yourself the way you want to be loved. You have to love yourself first and judging from the

    way I see things, you have never loved yourself¡± She slumps against the

    back of the couch

    ¡°You¡¯re wrong¡± I re at her feeling a bit attacked and defensive.

    ¡°Am 17¡±

    I want to argue with her. Of course I love myself

    ¡®Are you sure¡® an inner voice asks

    ¡®Yes¡® I force out internally

    Then why did you desperately want Rowan to love you? Why did go looking for love after you

    divorced? Why did every sentence you said about moving on consist of finding someone to love you?

    You can¡¯t expect someone else to give you the love you can¡¯t give yourself, Ava¡®

    I shake those thoughts away. There is no way they¡¯re right. What Letty and my inner voice are saying is

    that I¡¯m depending on others for love. That¡¯s just not true.

    ¡°Ava?¡± Letty calls

    ¡°What?¡± I snap at her feeling pissed and irritated at her for making me doubt things

    She stares at me for a while before answering ¡°Someone¡¯s at the door¡±

    It¡¯s only then that I hear the door bell ringing. I had been so lost in thought that I hadn¡¯t heard a thing I

    immediately feel guilty for snapping at her

    Feeling already tired and drained, I stand up and go and open the door.

    I¡¯m shocked to find Ethan on my doorstep. My first instinct is to close the door on his face and

    that¡¯s exactly what I go to do.

    ¡°Ava wait.¡± He says holding the door before I can m it in his face.

    He was thest person I wanted to see right now. Not when the pain of his betrayal was still fresh

    ¡°What do you want, Ethan?¡± I ground out, not sure what I wanted to do more. p him or cry.

    ¡°I know you don¡¯t want to see me, but there are two people I would like you to meet¡± he says

    stepping aside.

    It¡¯s then that I notice the beautiful couple behind him. The woman had long ck hair, striking

    brown eyes and the most beautiful face I¡¯ve ever seen. The man was tall, broad, with wavy honey

    brown hair and beautiful green eyes.

    I stare at thempletely captivated by their beauty. Something about them seemed familiar, I

    just didn¡¯t know where I¡¯d seen them.

    ¡°Ava, I want you to meet my adopted parents, Theo and Nora Howell. Mom, dad¡± he takes a breath.¡±

    I want you to meet Ava Sharp. Your long lost daughter¡± (6)

    The moment he says their names, it hits me. Not only are these two apparently my parents, but

    they¡¯re Theo and Nora Howell. No wonder they looked familiar.

    Standing before me is one of the most powerful couples in the country. Not only that, but the

    Howell¡¯s are said to be even more powerful than Rowan¡¯s family.

 Chapter 55

    Our daughter

    ¡°Pleasee in¡± Letty says behind me, startling the crap out of me.

    I realize that I had just been staring at them like a fool. Too lost in my head to say anything to

    them

    I move aside and let them through. My mind still reeling from the fact that The Howell¡¯s were in

    my house right now. Also that they were potentially my family.

    ¡°How are you even out?¡± I ask turning to face Ethan the moment we were all seated.

    ¡°Bail¡± is all he said, his eyes looking everywhere except in my direction.

    Yesterday Brian had asked me if I wanted to press charges against Ethan. He said that it would

    make our case stronger against him.

    I wasn¡¯t able to give him an answer because I wasn¡¯t sure. Yes, I get what he did to me was

    horrible and I don¡¯t know if I can ever forgive him or forget. (3)

    Despite all that, Ethan has also taught me a lot about myself and life. I just didn¡¯t know if I had it

    in me to press charges,

    Travis was pressing charges and so were the police department. To get in, Ethan had faked

    documents. As much I couldn¡¯t press the charges myself, Brian said that they would still do it

    because they had opened a file on me when the murder attempts had began.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry for what my son did to you, Ava¡± Nora says, her voice cutting through the tense and

    awkward atmosphere.

    I just stare at her. I didn¡¯t know what to feel honestly. The fact that she still called her his son

    meant that she was okay with what he did. If she was, then I am not sure I want her in my life if

    that the case, and if it turns out that she is my mother,

    ¡°You¡¯re apologizing for his wrong doings and I¡¯m going to take a guess that you¡¯re the one that

    posted his bail. If what he said was the truth does that mean you¡¯re okay with what he did to your

    biological daughter? A daughter who he told us you mourned over for years?¡± Letty poses the

    question that I was too afraid to ask. 4

    ¡°We¡¯re by no means okay with what he did. It was downright wrong and evil¡± Theo says through

    clenched teeth. His eyes cutting through Ethan.

    *TS BONUS

    Dagute he¡¯s ander right now fean still tell that he loves him. Itle Witten all over his face bome with Nova

    Then why ball him out? He should pay for what he did to Ava I don¡¯t eate what you thunk smere has

    done, but tarmg with their feelings while knowing that you n to kill them to just disgusting and evil

    Letty persists not letting the matter go

    Every time Fm reminded of what Ethan did just leaves me raw It was like pouring salt on a wound

    ¡°Because he¡¯s still our son and we love him. I may not have birthed him but he has been ours since he

    was ten when we adopted him Nora says with tears swimming in her eyes

    I wanted to hate her answer but I couldn¡¯t. As a mother, I would stand by Noah no matter what. Sure I

    would be hurt and disappointed if he did something so terrible, but I wouldn¡¯t abandon him I would be

    by his side till the very end

    I stare at the man in question only to find him staring back at me. Just like yesterday, there isn¡¯t

    any emotion in his cold gaze. I can¡¯t help but wonder if this is how he normally looks or is it the

    warm look he used to give me

    Shaking those thoughts away, I pull my gaze from him and stare at Nora and Theo.

    ¡°The fact that you¡¯re here means you want something from me, so how may I help you? If it¡¯s

    about his case then I¡¯m sorry to inform you that I have nothing to do with it and if that¡¯s all then

    please leave I get straight to the point. There was no need beating around the bush.

    I see their shocked faces, but I ignore it. I was just being honest and beside I don¡¯t see any other

    reason why they would be here.

    ¡°We came because Ethan told us the truth. We came because you¡¯re our daughter¡± Nora answers,

    tears filling her eyes.

    I wanted to believe her, but I couldn¡¯t. The family that raised me didn¡¯t love me and they¡¯ve had

    twenty eight years with me. I didn¡¯t expect Nora and Theo to love me either. They didn¡¯t know me

    and from the looks of things they really loved Ethan.

    ¡°How are you even sure I¡¯m your daughter?¡± I ask standing up. ¡°Ethan could have mixed things up

    I look nothing like any of you¡±

    They were out of this world beautiful and I was just me. Nothing remarkable about my looks.

    Ethan answers handing me an envelope. ¡°I took your hair and did a DNA test. It matched one

    I open it and read its content. He wasn¡¯t lying that much is true. My DNA matched with that of

    Nora and Theo.

    ¡°You have my brown hair and your mother¡¯s beautiful brown eyes¡± Theo added after Ethan. ¡°Even

    without those physical attributes, I still now. Deep down I know you¡¯re the daughter that was taken from

    us twenty eight years ago¡±

    I turn away from them when my tears start falling. It was too much to take. My whole life has

    been a fucking lie. I didn¡¯t know how to handle that. Every scorn I got from the Sharp family, every

    hate, every pain they gave mees to the surface.

    They knew I wasn¡¯t theirs. If they didn¡¯t want me they could have given me away. What was the

    point of making me stay with them, only for them to hurt me over and over again?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s okay my love¡± Nora uses the pet name I call Noah and it makes me cry harder. ¡°Let it all out,

    all of it¡± she says as she hugs me.

    I didn¡¯t even notice her standing up oring to me. Being in her arms just feels right. I feel at

    home, something I¡¯ve never felt with mother. I feel her love wash over me and surround me as she

    embraces me.

    She doesn¡¯t let go even when I soak her designer dress in tears. Soon a feel another set of arms

    surround us. Theo had joined us. I continue to cry until I feel like I¡¯m out of tears, then I stop.

    ¡°Better?¡± she asks.

    I give her a small smile as we slowly detangle from each other. ¡°Yes¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re our daughter and we love you. We¡¯ve always loved you and have never stopped loving you

    even when we thought you were gone. We will always be here for you if you need us, all we ask is

    that you give us a chance to take care and love you the way we never got to¡± Theo tells me, his

    eyes misting.

    This was all I ever wanted from the two people who raised me. It says a lot about them and my bio

    parents. Theo and Nora took a ten year old boy, raised him and loved him like he was their own.

    Kate and James Sharp took me in but treated me like I was nothing. The difference between the

    two couples is really ring.

    Before I have a chance to reply, my doorbell rings again.

    derin

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I got it¡± Letty says clearing her throat.

    I hear the door open then harsh whispers. It sounded like Letty was arguing with whoever was on the

    other side. I was just about to go and check when Travis walks in followed behind by Emma and

    Rowan

    I look at them in surprise. What were they doing here? And most importantly were they all attached to

    the hip or something? Gabe was the only one that wasn¡¯t here.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Ava¡­ I tried to stop them but he pushed past me¡± she says remorsefully while ring

    at Travis

    ¡°What are you all doing here and what do you want?¡± I honestly don¡¯t think I can deal with them.

    ¡°Mom wanted to talk to you, to talk to us. She said she wanted to tell you everything, but you¡¯re not

    picking up her calls¡± Emma speaks.

    I heave a sigh of defeat. Thest thing I wanted to do was hear what she had to say, but I also

    knew that I had to.

 Chapter 56

    Baby Ava ¡°What the fuck is he doing here?¡± Rowan booms, his cold grey eyes shooting daggers at Ethan.

    I was really not in the mood deal with his tantrums. Yes he was there for me yesterday, but that doesn¡¯t mean he has a say on who is in my home.

    Theo or should I say my dad clears his throat. It was going to take some time to get used to the idea of calling him dad.

    The sound of his voice pulls everyone¡¯s eyes to him.

    Theo Howell?¡± Rowan says in surprise but he quickly hides it. ¡°What are you doing here?¡±

    Rowan looks between all of us. His eyes moving from Theo and Nora then back at me. Slowly connecting the dots.

    ¡°It¡¯s been a while Rowan, though I can¡¯t say that I am pleased with how you¡¯ve treated my daughter Theo says with a dangerous smile on his lips.

    ¡°What he means to say is, we¡¯re downright pissed off with the way you and your family has treated our daughter and we can¡¯t see ourselves having such business partners¡± Nora adds. She doesn¡¯t smile and for the first time since she came to my house, I feel hostility and hatred radiating off her.

    ¡°How¡¯s this possible? Travis has shock written all over his face

    Like I said, everyone in the country knows who the Howell¡¯s are. They may like to keep their life private, but they¡¯re still known.

    ¡°Oh, trust me darling anything in this world is possible¡± Nora says ring at him. Fire burning behind her eyes.

    I look at Emma and she too had a shocked expression. Her mouth hang open in disbelief. If she wasn¡¯t careful she would catch a fly

    ¡°Can we just get this over with so that you may all leave?¡± I ask looking directly at him.

    He nods his head and pulls out hisptop. He sets it down and we gather around it. He doesn¡¯t waste any time skyping mother. Soon her face fills the screen.

    ¡°We¡¯re all here mom¡± Emma tells her and she nods her head.

    ¡°How are you, Ava?¡± she asks slowly.

    I don¡¯t know why she all over sudden cared about me when she hasn¡¯t for more than twenty years of my life.

    ¡°Just say what you want to say, no need for the fake pleasantries¡±

    She looks hurt, but at this point I just don¡¯t care. I wasn¡¯t going to y along to whatever it is she was trying to do. She was toote to fix was what was broken.

    She takes a calming breath before beginning. ¡°You came to us when you were weeks old, but we didn¡¯t adapt you until you were about fifteen months old¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°We had a wonderful housekeeper. She had worked for us for years. She wanted a family but she couldn¡¯t imagine herself bearing another man¡¯s child. You see, her husband died after seven years of marriage and she never recovered. They were nning to start a family the year he died, they felt they were financially stable. All that was taken away from her when a drunk driver ran her husband over¡± she exins.

    ¡°Winnie wanted a child, but didn¡¯t want to ever get married again or have artificial insemination so

    she settled on adaption. About a month after she made that decision, she was called by her mother. She was told that the preacher of their church found a baby outside the church and was wondering if anyone wanted to adopt her¡±

    We all look at each other. Was it a coincidence? Was the preacher Winnie¡¯s mother was talking about, my grandfather? It was too much to be just a coincidence.Contents belong

    Mother continues. ¡°She took a one week break and went back to her home town to get the baby.

    We expected her back a week after, but she ended up taking two weeks, but finally she got the baby and came back. No one knew who the baby¡¯s mother was and had no identification on her.

    The preacher said it was probably a scared teen that gave birth and left the baby there¡±

    ¡°Since there wasn¡¯t an issue, the social worker allowed Winnie toe back with the child as she prepared the paper works for adoption. The baby was a blessing to Winnie, she named her Ava.

    That baby she adopted was you¡± mother says looking at me before continuing ¡°I had not seen her that happy since her husband died. It¡¯s like Ava breathed life back into her and Winnie adored her.

    Loved her like she was her own¡±

    She pauses and I take a moment to digest what she just told us. Winnie seems like a great woman.

    ¡°If she loved me like you say, why didn¡¯t she raise me? How did I end up as part of the Sharp family?¡±

    ¡°About a year after she got you, she was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. The doctors told her it was toote for her and that she only had a few months to live. Before she died, she asked us to take you in. To adopt you. We didn¡¯t want to, we already had two children and we didn¡¯t want anymore¡±

    Something must have happened because I ended up with them.

    ¡°Then why did you take me in if you didn¡¯t want to?¡± I ask.

    Everyone was quiet as she answered. ¡°When Travis was two years he managed to get out of the house. By the time I realized it, he was about to cross the road. There was an iing car and I knew I couldn¡¯t get to him in time, I screamed in fear, My fear must have alerted Winnie.

    I don¡¯t know how she did it, or where she was or how she moved. She saved Travis that day, but she ended up in aa for two months. They amputated her right hand because it was too damaged.

    She also had a limp since then because of the permanent njury to her hip¡±

    She takes in a deep breath before letting it out. ¡°We epted her request because we felt we owed her. As much as we tried topensate her it would never have been enough for saving Travis and what she went through. So when she died, we adopted Ava¡±

    I look down, muttering. ¡°I wish you hadn¡¯t. You should have tossed me in an orphanage. It would have been kinder than the life I lived with you¡±

    I don¡¯t remember ever having a good memory with them. They were all bad, full of pain and misery.

    ¡°Gosh, you¡¯re such an ungrateful woman. Do you know how many people would kill to have the life you led?¡± Emma ask, sneering me in my direction.

    ¡°Shut your fucking mouth Emma before I shut it up for you permanently.¡± I hiss, my anger rising.¡±

    I¡¯ve heard enough of you stupidments. I slept with your damn boyfriend, get the fuck over it and grow the fuck up. It disgusting watching a thirty year old woman throwing a hissy fight like a fucking two year old. Noah behaves more mature than you do?

    My blow up surprises everyone. Emma looks down, her cheeks a shade of red.

    I feel hands hold me, and realize that it¡¯s Nora. I look up at her and she¡¯s grinning. I¡¯dpletely forgotten that they were sitting right next to me.¡±

    ¡°I suggest you heed the warning of my daughter, girl¡± Nora says. ¡°It¡¯s been years and you¡¯ve all surely made her pay for that damn mistake. I suggest you move on and leave the past where it is. You talk to my daughter like that ever again and you will not like what I do to you¡±

    I¡¯m shocked that she would stand up for me. Nobody ever has well except for Letty. It feels weird but good at the same time.

    Emma looks up before looking back down again. I felt the Nora¡¯s threat and it sent chills down my spine.

    Mother clears her voice, pulling our attention back to her. ¡°I know how we treated you over the years wasn¡¯t fair and I¡¯m so sorry. More than you¡¯ll ever know¡±

    ¡°Please stop. Like I told your son, it¡¯s a little toote for your apologies now. I really don¡¯t want to hear it and neither do I want anything to do with any of you¡± I simply say.

    Too much had already been said and done. It was better this way. Maybe one day I will be able to forgive them, but for now, the pain was just too much. 2

    ¡°Now that it¡¯s all said and done, we¡¯re done here¡± Theo speaks up. ¡°I don¡¯t care what you felt she did, but we all must agree that your contempt for my daughter started way before she made a

    mistake of sleeping with Rowan. Mark my words, you will pay for every tear she shed and for every year she spent suffering in your hands.¡± 2

    The air is filled with something dangerous. It chokes the air and suffocates my lungs. Everyone knows Theo Howell isn¡¯t someone you cross. Ever.

    ¡°Please Mr. Howell¡± mother pleads.

    ¡°How many times did my daughter beg? You didn¡¯t care did you? Why should we show you mercy when you never showed our daughter any?¡± Nora hisses at mother. Pure hatred reflecting in her eyes.

    Mother doesn¡¯t say anything. She looks down in shame.

    ¡°I think you should all leave¡± I say staring at Travis and Emma.

    They did what they came to do and their time was up. They stare at me for a while before standing up and leaving. Rowan follows and then Ethan is up next.

    ¡°You never have to worry about anything ever again. Your enemies are our enemies and we will fight those who fight you. Everyone who has hurt you will pay. No one will ever cause you pain.

    ¡°We love you, my beautiful angel. Always know that¡± Nora adds before doing the same.

    They leave soon after. It felt great to have someone backing me up. Question is, did I really want revenge against those that hurt me? And even if I did, would they hurt Ethan for hurting me?

    Were Nora and Theo willing to turn against their son for me?

 Chapter 57

    Still hurts

    Emma

    ¡°I still can¡¯t believe that Ava is a Howell¡± Travis says as we enter our parent¡¯s home.

    I was having a hard time with the news myself. Everything seemed so surreal. Like I couldn¡¯t for the

    love of me believe everything that has been revealed.

    ¡°I know right?¡± I mutter.

    I thought I had an advantage against her. Finding out she was adopted was the best feeling ever. After

    Ethan told us that her parents were actually rich, every happy feeling was destroyed. I wanted her to

    come from a poor background. It would have given me an advantage over her even if she was rich right

    now.

    If she hade from a poor family then I would always be better than her. Superior to her in a

    way. The way our society works is that, you¡¯re respected more if you family has connection. If

    your family has roots andes from a long line of money. You may be rich and they will respect that,

    but you¡¯ll be respected more if youe from a wealthy family. 3

    I had hoped that would be the case when Ethan told us she¡¯s adopted. I thought that maybe her

    parent¡¯s couldn¡¯t afford to raise her or maybe they were junkies and they decided to put her up for

    adoption. It would have been a big mark against her in our social circle and I would have been

    there to see them whisper and gossip about her.

    The jokes on me though. The Howell¡¯s may not live in our city, but they¡¯re known. Just like Rowan¡¯s

    family, they are really powerful and they run this country. If they announce that Ava is their daughter.

    Her social standing will go up. She¡¯ll be above me in every way. Worse than that, she¡¯ll be in the same

    standing level as Rowan. 3

    ¡°What are we going to do though? How are we going to get her to forgive us?¡± Travis asks breaking the

    silence and pulling me from my thoughts.

    Was he fucking seriously right now? Why the fuck would I want her damn forgiveness? She¡¯s the one

    who should be asking for forgiveness. Begging me to forgive her for what she did to me.

    ¡°Why would we want her forgiveness?¡± I ask him bitterly. ¡°Have you forgotten what she did to me?¡±

    ¡°I know and I remember, but like her parents said, it¡¯s in the past. She has already paid enough for her

    mistake, besides we learned that she was truly drunk¡±

    I¡¯d heard about that, but I didn¡¯t believe it. I refused to believe it. Ava had wanted Rowan for years,

    there is just no way that everything is a fucking coincidence. Even if she was drunk she still probably

    nned the whole damn thing.

    ¡°I will never forgive her Travis¡± I tell him firmly and angrily.

    It¡¯s something I decided a long time ago. I wasn¡¯t going to let go of the bitterness anytime soon.

    ¡°Emma please, she¡¯s our sister. You have to let go of the past. You have to heal, Emma. Holding on to

    all that pain and anger isn¡¯t good for you¡± he tells me softly,ing to stand next to me.

    ¡°How many times will I tell you that I will never forgive her? Gosh Travis, I even wish that the bastard

    that Ethan had hired to kill her had done it before Ethan arrived to save her¡± I scream at

    him.

    Without waiting for a reply from him I storm upstairspletely pissed off. I get to my room and m

    the door in anger. Why couldn¡¯t they understand that this isn¡¯t easy for me? Why couldn¡¯t they

    understand that it was hard for me to move on?

    It still fucking hurts. Every day I wake up then go to sleep, the pain is still there. I breathe it in

    then out. It has be a part of me. Meshed its¨Cself deep inside me that I don¡¯t know how to live

    without it. 2

    I know it¡¯s toxic. I know it¡¯s destroying me, but I just don¡¯t know how to let go of it. I don¡¯t know

    how to stop myself from hating Ava. She took everything from me. All I ever wanted was Rowan

    and she took him from me. 4

    I nned my life around him, so sure that we would end up together and she took that future

    away.

    Even now, when I came back and I was sure that things were looking up with Rowan, she had to

    go and ruin it. Rowan now barely pays any attention to me. Since that day at the dinner party he

    hasn¡¯t called or checked up on me. ¡ü

    His focus has beenpletely on Ava. It makes me hate her more because once again, she¡¯s

    taking him fromme. I didn¡¯t want to admit it, but things have changed. Rowan isn¡¯t the same boy

    that fell I love with me. 4

    He may not know it, but I can tell. He has some feelings for Ava. I don¡¯t know exactly what he feels

    for her, but the feelings are there. My biggest fear is that he¡¯s in love with her. I don¡¯t know what I

    will do if that is true. It would really break my heart if that¡¯s the case.

    Taking out my phone, I call my best friend.

    ¡°Hi love¡± Molly answers on the first ring.

    1 copse on my bed as I fight back my tears. ¡°Everything is falling apart Molly. I don¡¯t know what to

    do¡±

    I felt drained. Tired. Everything was so exhausting and I felt like I was carrying this huge burden on my

    shoulders.

    ¡°Why don¡¯t you tell me what¡¯s bothering you, then we can work from there¡± she asks.

    I proceed to tell her everything. Every single damn thing that has happened since ourst talk. Just

    going over it again brings a sharp pain to my heart. I don¡¯t want to imagine living life with Rowan. I

    know we hadn¡¯t talked for nine years, but the moment we decided to try, things just felt right. That¡¯s

    before once again Ava came between us.

    ¡°Listen, Emma, I have to agree with Ava¡± she starts to say.

    A frown forms on my face. ¡°You what?¡±

    ¡°Just listen. I¡¯m not Ava¡¯s biggest fan, but when you threatened her son, you crossed the line. Not to

    mention all the stupid lies you told Rowan. This isn¡¯t like you Emma, using such disgusting tricks to get

    Rowan to believe you. Those won¡¯t work, in fact, they may just push him further

    away.¡± she says in one breath.

    ¡°But¡­¡± she cuts me off.

    ¡°Second, from what I can tell, none of this is Ava fault. She seems to have backed off. I would have

    if the man I was married to for nine years was still in love with my sister. Point is, the problem

    lies with Rowan, he¡¯s either confused about his feelings or he¡¯s oblivious to them when ites to

    Ava¡± she pauses then continues.

    That is something I didn¡¯t want to hear. Pain pierces my heart when I think that Rowan may feel

    something for Ava.

    ¡°Third, you have to heal. As long as you want Rowan then Ava will always be in the picture

    because of Noah. It¡¯s not healthy for Rowan and Noah to have both of you fighting all the damn

    time. It will be draining and if it affects Noah, then Rowan will probably walk away from you¡±

    I hear what she¡¯s saying, but it doesn¡¯t register. I don¡¯t ever see Ava and I making peace with each

    other because when I look at her all I see is that day when Rowan told me that he had slept with

    I mean damn it, we never had sex because I was waiting for a perfect time but yet he slept with my

    sister. That is what I can¡¯t get over. The fact that Ava knows how Rowan feels, but I don¡¯t and I

    was his girlfriend long before.

    ¡°Lastly Emma, you need toe clean¡± Molly says pulling me back to the present.

    ¡°Why would I do that?¡± I whisper, afraid of my secret getting out.

    ¡°Because it¡¯s time to own up Emma and take responsibility, deep down you know that you¡¯re not

    being fair to him. Think about it.¡± she sighs is frustration.

    She¡¯s been telling me this for years, but I¡¯ve been pushing it to the sidelines. Maybe she¡¯s right, but I¡¯m

    not ready yet. I will hold on to my secret for just a little bit longer. I don¡¯t want to deal with

    the disappointment that it will surely bring.

 Chapter 58

    His hearing

    Ava

    Have you ever felt like you¡¯re just living through the motions? Like nothing and no one around you

    is real? I googled it. G****e said it was a form of dissociating. It happens especially with adults who had

    childhood traumas. It¡¯s a coping mechanism where the person separates him or herself from what¡¯s

    hurting or causing them stress.

    After I read that, I realized that maybe Letty was right. Maybe I did need help. Professional help. Maybe

    I should start seeing a therapist. I know I have issues. Deep seated traumas that I haven¡¯t been able to

    work through.

    Sighing, I stand up and start pacing the room. My mind was racing and no matter what, I couldn¡¯t settle

    down. I¡¯ve pushed everyone away since that time when everyone was at my house. I¡¯ve refused to take

    calls or talk to anyone.

    I just wanted to be left alone. To process everything on my own. Sometimes I feel the weight of

    everything falling on me and it¡¯s just hard. It bes too much to handle some times and I¡¯m left

    feeling hollow and empty inside.

    My phones rings, cutting through the silent space. I check the caller Id, it was Brian calling. I know why.

    Today is Ethan¡¯s trial and he wanted me toe and testify against him. Just like I couldn¡¯t press

    charges, I also couldn¡¯t testify. (3)

    I¡¯m not condoning what Ethan did. He did some pretty messed up things, but I just can¡¯t bring myself to

    put a nail on his coffin. Every time I¡¯ve thought about going ahead and pressing charges or testifying,

    every good moment we¡¯ve sharedes to my mind and I immediately withdraw from the thoughts.

    Ethan, the Ethan I knew, was good to me. He made me feel good, and not just sexually. He brought out

    a side of me I never knew and taught to me embrace it. That¡¯s why his betrayal hurts so much. 1

    With Rowan, I always knew he didn¡¯t like me. Even when we were younger, he tolerated me because I

    was Emma and Travis¡® sister. Yes he hurt me and it broke my heart, but deep down I always knew it

    was to be expected. His hate for me, no matter how painful wasn¡¯t new.

    When ites to Ethan though, it¡¯s painful because I never expected he would hurt me. I thought we

    were on the same page. I thought that he felt the same way. I thought his feelings and actions towards

    me weren¡¯t tainted. It hurt because it turned out to be a lie. It hurt because I never saw it

    I should have though. Everyone in my life, except Noah, has hurt me. I was now even doubting

    Letty and my new found parents. How do I know they don¡¯t have ulterior motives? How do I know

    they won¡¯t hurt me or betray me? How do I know they¡¯re not just ying me?

    The fucking questions never leave me and it was driving me insane.

    Tired of pacing and driving myself crazy, I take a hat, sunsses, my car keys and then I leave. I

    start driving not really sure where I was going.

    I don¡¯t know how I end up at the court house, but it¡¯s only after I park my car that I realize where I

    am. I look at my hat and sunsses and frown. Maybe subconsciously this is where I was going

    all along.

    ¡°This is damn crazy¡± I tell myself as I put my disguise on.

    I get out of my car and walk slowly towards the building. I was giving myself time to back out. I don¡¯t

    though, instead I walk through the doors. I wasn¡¯t here because I wanted to see justice get

    served. I was here to see him onest time.

    Nora and Theo managed to keep his hearing and wrong doings from leaking to the media. I can¡¯t

    imagine the kind of damage that would do to theirpany image. Thought a part of me tells me

    that they¡¯re doing that for Ethan¡¯s sake. 1)

    I internally count the room numbers until I get to the one that was hosting Ethan¡¯s hearing.

    Slowly, I open the door. Thank goodness it doesn¡¯t make a sound. I didn¡¯t want anyone knowing I

    was here.

    I quietly enter the room and take the furthest seat. I fix my disguise, just to make sure that

    everything is okay before silencing my phone.

    I watch as Chief Officer Brian gives his testimony.

    Ethan was on the right with hiswyer. My parents were right behind him. On the other hand, the

    prosecutor was on the left side.

    This side had more people. Some of the cops were there. So were Travis, Letty and surprisingly

    Rowan. I didn¡¯t expect him here. He did hate Ethan though, and Rowan is the kind who loves

    watching his enemies crash and burn.

    Looking at the setting, I realize that I was seated on Ethan¡¯s side.

    ¡°And how does your client plead against the charges by the police department?¡± the judge, a

    woman who seems to be in her sixties asks.

    Ethan whispers in hiswyer¡¯s ears before the man answers.

    ¡°Guilty¡± he says in a strong.

    ¡°Okay then, you may continue¡± she says and Brian continues.

    Brian goes back to talking. He tells the courtroom how Ethan came here a few months back. That they

    got his transfer papers to their station. He didn¡¯t see anything wrong and he never questioned anything

    because of the transfer. It all seemed in order so they just took him. He also seemed to know what he

    was doing so they never questioned anything.

    After him, next to testify were the three other cops there. Then Travis and finally Letty. Travis didn¡¯t say

    much. He only talked about Ethan¡¯s friendship with Letty. Letty talked about the role he yed in my life

    and how we never suspected a thing. She also recounted the day we were

    kidnapped. Not missing any details.

    After everyone has testified the judge takes a break and thenes back after a while.

    ¡°There is no need to prolong this hearing given the used has already pleaded guilty and

    confessed to every usation levelled against him¡± she begins saying.

    ¡°Ethan Howell, for the case leveled against you, you¡¯re going to receive two years for

    impersonating a police officer, two years for kidnapping, two years for falsifying documents and fifteen

    years for murder attempt with a possibility of parole. That being said, case closed¡± the

    judge hits her gavel and stands up.

    Something breaks in my heart at hearing his sentence. Twenty one years in prison is a pretty long

    time. 2

    When everyone begins standing up, I look at Ethan one more time before slipping out the door. I

    rush outside just as a tear makes its way down my cheek. I honestly didn¡¯t know what to feel.

    ¡°Did you really think I wouldn¡¯t be able to recognize you, Ava?¡± his deep voice startles me. 1

    I turn to find Rowan staring intently at me. His brows pulled down. His intense grey eyes

    searching mine. I don¡¯t say anything, instead I just wipe my tears. How the hell did he know it was

    me?

    ¡°Are you okay?¡± he asks softly walking towards me.

    He pulls the hat from my head and takes away my sunsses.

    ¡°No¡± I whisper just as another tears falls down.

    He pulls a sirand of hair behind my ear and then wipes my tears away. Pulling me into his arms,

    he hugs me close before resting his chin on my head.

    ¡°You¡¯ll be okay¡­you¡¯re the strongest woman I know. Look at all the shit I put you through and you¡¯re

    still fucking standing. You came out on the other side stronger. You¡¯ll fucking survive this

    Ava¡± he tells me with confidence.

    I stay there for a while crying, but pull away once I hear peopleing out.

    ¡°I need to leave¡± I mumble. I didn¡¯t want anyone seeing me here.

    He stares at me for a while before nodding. ¡°Come on, I¡¯ll drive you. I can¡¯t let you leave while

    you¡¯re upset¡±

    I don¡¯t argue with him. I just hand him my keys.

    I look back just as Ethan is being escorted outside by the police. My eyes crash with his, but I

    immediately pull them away and get into my car.

    It was time to say goodbye to a love that was starting to bloom, but never got the chance to fully

    blossom into something beautiful.

    It was time to say goodbye to Ethan

 Chapter 59

    A surprise

    It¡¯s been a month since the whole thing with Ethan happened. Am I okay? Definitely not. Does it

    still hurt? Fuck yes. Have I moved on? Absolutely not.

    Things haven¡¯t been easy. Every day I find myself drowning further and further in a sea of pain and

    heartache. I thought I was doing okay when I decided to move on with Ethan. I realize now

    that I was probably just lying to myself.

    Ethan¡¯s betrayal has drenched up all the other pains I tried burying. All the hurts I tried

    forgetting. It was like I was now back to square one. Only thing is that I had a few more new scars

    marring my heart and soul.

    I go through the days in a fog. Just living numbly. Time and things pass me by because I wasn¡¯t

    really living. I am just surviving. Taking each day one at a time.

    Everyone seems to have moved on, but I feel like I am just stuck. Stuck in a never ending cycle of

    pain and heartbreak. My world right now is dark and cold and I feel all alone.

    ¡°Miss Sharp, are you okay?¡± Mark, one of my students asks me.

    Fuck, I hate that name. It serves as a reminded that the people who gave it to me broke me. I

    wanted to change it, but I didn¡¯t know which name to take. I didn¡¯t want to take the Howell¡¯s name

    given I don¡¯t know that much about them. There is also the fact that I haven¡¯t spoken to them

    since that day at my house.

    ¡°Yes, I am¡­focus on the sswork¡± I reply to him before looking down at the books on my desk.

    I loved teaching, but nowadays it has be like a chore. Every day Ie to work, I can¡¯t help

    but wish the hours would fly by quickly so that I can go home. I wanted solitude but I wasn¡¯t

    getting enough of that with Letty and Rowan checking up on me every damn time.

    My students have noticed something is wrong. sses aren¡¯t as fun as they used to be. I wasn¡¯t as

    cheery as I was before. I was like a robot. Lifeless. Because of this some of my students have

    started skipping ss. I just don¡¯t know how to bring back the old Ava.

    ¡®Instead of trying to bring the old you, why don¡¯t you try to create a new version?¡® an internal voice

    asks.

    Was that even possible? Creating a new version. A version of me that is different from the child,

    teen then woman who has been broken too many times to count.

    Before I can answer that question or think too deeply about it, the bell rings Taking my things, I

    dash out of my ss without saying a single word to my students.

    I keep my head down as I rush to the teacher¡¯s lounge. I just want to breathe a little before I have to go

    to my next ss Luckily, no one stops me in the hallway. I wasn¡¯t really in the mood to talk

    to anyone

    I get to the teacher lounge and freeze up. I was expecting it to be at least somewhat empty, but it

    was damn packed. I release a groan as I walk to the furthest seat.

    My phone rings just as I sit down. Nora¡¯s name shes. I¡¯ve ignored their calls not really sure how

    to handle them. Especially given their rtionship with Ethan I go to hang up, but I press the

    ept button instead

    ¡°Hello, Ava?¡± she calls out.

    I don¡¯t say anything. Just release the breath I was holding.

    ¡°Please my dear, please don¡¯t shut me out. Don¡¯t shut me and your father out¡± she whispers her

    voice catching at the end.

    I still don¡¯t say anything. I couldn¡¯t even if I wanted to. My mouth refuses to move. To utter a single

    fucking word.

    ¡°You¡¯re my daughter, Ava and I want to be in your life. I want to be the mother I was supposed to

    be. I know you¡¯re hurting and I want to be there for you. I already lost one child, please don¡¯t makeme

    lose another. Losing you again just after finding you would kill me¡± she pleads, crying and it

    breaks my heart.

    Tears fill my eyes. Damn it. I¡¯ve been so emotional these past few weeks.

    ¡°I need time¡± I tell her slowly. Trying to push back my emotions.

    She releases a breath. ¡°I¡¯ll give you time if that¡¯s what you need, but always remember that I love

    you. I¡¯ve always carried you in my heart even when I thought you had died. I hope you can trust

    me and know that I¡¯ll always be here for you if you need me¡± 1

    Gosh. It feels so good to be wanted, but I don¡¯t know if I can trust them yet. Only time will tell.

    ¡°Okay¡± I reply before hanging up.

    I get what she¡¯s saying, but I just don¡¯t know. What if she¡¯s just looking for someone to hang on to?

    the gap. That¡¯s what I¡¯m afraid of. Of being used. Of being a second choice just like I was with

    Rowan.

    I wasn¡¯t being cold or anything like that towards them. I was just trying to protect the remaining

    pieces of my heart.

    ¡°Damn girl¡± Carol says walking towards my table.

    ¡°Fuck¡± I groan under my breath.

    She was a junior highschool teacher and she had a way of annoying the hell out of people. Mainly

    because she likes to stick her nose in other people¡¯s businesses.

    ¡°All that food¡± she looks at me in shock. ¡°With the way you¡¯ve been eating and how moody you are

    nowadays, one would think you¡¯re preggo¡± she finishes with augh. 2

    I know she was joking, but I freeze in my seat. Her words ring in my mind like a broken record.

    Driving fear through every fiber of my body.

    She notices my behavior and frowns. ¡°Are you okay, Ava? You have to know that I was just joking

    right?¡±

    I quickly stand up as panic starts coursing through my body. Rushing out of the lounge, I blindly ran

    through the hallway till I am out of the school. I immediately jump into my car and speed out

    of the parking lot.

    Shit. This couldn¡¯t be happening. Please don¡¯t let it be happening. 2

    I try to think back. Try to do the math, but my mind is so jumbled that I cannot think straight.

    I drive fast, not caring that I will probably be pulled for over speeding. I needed to confirm that

    Carol was wrong.

    Getting to the store, I park my car and rush out. Unluckily for me, I bump into Emma.

    ¡°Ava?¡± she calls a bit surprised. Probably because I look like a big fucking mess.

    I ignore her and ran to thedies section. Finding what I need, I take a bunch of them and quickly

    move to the counter. Once I have my purchase, I leave.

    I get into my car and soon I¡¯m at home. I know the drill. So I drink around three sses of water

    and then head to my bathroom and take the test.

    Breaking point

    [Warning. The following chapter contains content that maybe triggering to some]

    No This can¡¯t be happening to me. I can¡¯t be pregnant. Not now and definitely not with Ethan¡¯s

    baby

    ¡°Why God?¡± I whisper as the tears fall down my face.

    I wait for an answer but nonees. He doesn¡¯t tell me why this was happening to me. He doesn¡¯t

    tell me why he had to make me this unlucky.

    I try to pick myself from the bathroom floor, but I just don¡¯t have the energy. I¡¯mpletely

    drained.

    Was it my lot in life to have unnned pregnancies? First with Noah and now this one. 2

    I stare sightlessly at the tiled floor, thinking back. Ethan and I had unprotected sex once. I was

    supposed to take a morning after pill, but Ipletely forgot. By the time I remembered, a few

    days had already passed.

    I told Ethan about it. I expected him to be angry about it, but he wasn¡¯t. Instead he calmed me

    down. We both reasoned that it was unlikely for me to be pregnant. 1

    I noticed some changes, like my period beingte, but I thought it was due to the stress I was

    under. I never gave much thought to my increase in appetite since I always eat when I¡¯m stressed

    or sad.

    The banging on my door startles me, but I don¡¯t get up. Now more than before, I didn¡¯t want to see

    anybody. When the banging continues, I put my head between my knees and cover my ears. I just

    wanted whoever it is to leave.

    It bes silent for a while. I breathe a sigh of relief but then start to panic when I hear the door

    open and heavy footsteps walking upstairs.

    Before I can do anything, like maybe hide, in case it was an intruder. A shadow fills the door way

    to my bathroom.

    ¡°Ava?¡± Rowan¡¯s deep voices resonates through the entire room.

    The moment my eyes meet with his, I start crying again. Of all people, why did it have to be him?

 Chapter 60

    ¡°What are you doing here?¡± I ask through my sobs.

    Hees and kneels before me, his eyes staring at me with an emotion I can¡¯t figure out.

    ¡°Emma told me she saw you at the store. She said you looked hysterical and that you bought a bunch

    of pregnancy tests before leaving¡± he tells me softly, his fingers wiping away my tears.

    Damn it Emma and her big mouth! What the hell did she think she¡¯ll aplish by telling Rowan that I

    bought pregnancy tests?

    ¡°She shouldn¡¯t have told you. It¡¯s none of her business neither is it yours¡± I hiss.

    He doesn¡¯t react instead he asks. ¡°Have you taken the test?¡±

    I just nod my head as more tears fill my eyes.

    ¡°And?¡±

    I don¡¯t answer him. I just couldn¡¯t bring myself to admit what the test informed me.

    When I don¡¯t answer he surveys the room. His eyesnd on themying near the sink. He stands up

    and goes to check them. I should be fucking angry that he was viting my privacy, but I couldn¡¯t bring

    myself to care. Not when I had much more important things to worry about.

    Hees back and this time instead of kneeling before me. He instead sits next to me.

    ¡°Congrattion. You¡¯re going to be a great mother¡± he tell me an odd catch in his voice.

    Iy my head on his shoulder as I speak. ¡°Am I? You didn¡¯t ever want to have another baby with me

    even though I wanted one desperately. I thought it¡¯s because you thought I was a bad mother¡±

    I was always so insecure when it came to Rowan. I knew the real reason. He didn¡¯t want another baby

    because he was holding out hope that Emma wille back. I lied to myself because it was better to

    think he thought I wasn¡¯t a good mother than to acknowledge that he just didn¡¯t want a

    baby with me.

    ¡°I¡¯ve never thought you¡¯re a bad mother, Ava. You¡¯re the fucking best. One just has to look at the

    rtionship between you and Noah to know it¡¯s true¡± he pauses. ¡°Can I tell you something?¡±

    I nod my head.

    ¡°I was always jealous of the bond you have with Noah. I still am¡± he confesses. I lift my head in

    shock.

    2

    ¡°Really¡±

    I still can¡¯t believe that Rowan was right now sitting on the bathroom floor with me. The Rowan i

    know wouldn¡¯t have cared at all, let alone wipe away my tears.

    ¡°Yeah¡± he answers

    We stay in silence after that. I soon start feeling drowsy. I don¡¯t know when I slept or how he carried me

    to my bed. Thest thing I felt before falling into deep sleep, was his lips on my

    forehead.

    When I wake up, it¡¯s midafternoon the next day. I find breakfast on my side table. Which was

    probably cold.

    I get out of bed and make an appointment with my gynecologist. I take a quick shower then get

    dressed. I still felt tired and worn out.

    I wasn¡¯t hungry so I ignore the food. I didn¡¯t know who brought it, but my guess is that it was

    Rowan.

    Getting into my car, I fire it up and drive as slowly as I can. Trying to dy getting to the doctor¡¯s office.

    I get there after almost an hour since I left. Taking a deep breath, I get out and walk towards

    the private clinic.

    There are women inside with their husbands. It takes me back to when I was pregnant with Noah.

    Rowan never apanied me to any of my appointments. I was even shocked that he insisted to

    be with me in the room when I was giving birth, given he showed little care for me and the baby I

    was expecting.

    Pushing those away, I give the secretary my details and take a seat, while I wait for my name to be

    called.

    ¡°Ava Sharp¡± I¡¯m finally called after about forty five minutes.

    I stand up and walk to Dr. Raven¡¯s office.

    ¡°Good to see you, Ava. So what can I do for you this fine afternoon?¡± she asks as she takes a seat.

    ¡°I was hoping to get an ultrasound. I took a pregnancy test yesterday and they were positive, but I

    just wanted a confirmation¡±

    I wring my hands. Completely nervous and nearing a heart attack.

    ¡°That can be arranged Why don¡¯t youy on the bed, while I set up things?¡± she asks kindly and I

    nod

    1 get up on the bed and stare at the ceiling. I tried calming my beating heart, but it was of no use.

    ¡°Please pull up your top¡±

    I do as she says, my hands shaking. She squirts the gel on my stomach and begins moving the

    wand around.

    ¡°You¡¯re definitely pregnant. Around three months along.¡± she says happily just as the sound of a

    steady beating heart fills the room, as

    I blink back the tears and grip the hem of my top. She sounded happy as she delivered the news,

    but I wasn¡¯t.

    Everything after that is a blur. She cleans me up and gives me instructions. Talking about diets

    and vitamins. I leave her office and pass by her secretary¡¯s desk. She gives me a date for my next

    appointment and prints for me the images of the baby.

    After everything is done, I leave like the hell hounds of hell were after me.

    I was numb as I drove. I had held hope. Hope that the tests were false. It¡¯s know to happen that

    they aren¡¯t urate. I was hoping that it will be the same for my case.

    Instead here I am. Driving, with the real proof that I was expecting Ethan¡¯s babyying in the

    backseat.

    I drive for a while not sure where I am, until I finally park. I get out and robotically walk towards

    the cliff.

    How can I be happy about this baby? I didn¡¯t want him or her. I didn¡¯t want a baby conceived out of

    deceit and lies. A baby with the same man that tried his hardest to end my life.

    How can I look at him or her and not feel any type of resentment? I wanted to forget my time with

    Ethan. This baby will make sure I don¡¯t. He or she will be a reminder of how his or her father

    betrayed me.

    All I had to do was to take a step forward. Just one step and everything will end. There won¡¯t be

    any more pain, or sadness or heartache. I would be free of the constant darkness that was

    drowning me.

    I hear a cat in the distance, but I don¡¯t turn. I still don¡¯t turn when a door ms

    ¡°What the hell do you think you¡¯re doing, Ava?¡± Rowan¡¯s voice growls from behind me.

    I don¡¯t tur¡°, even as the wind picks up I feel its force. As if it was also urging me to make that one

    step

    *Ava, please. Step away from the cliff. Come to me¡± I feel his presence as he slowly approaches

    me, but I don¡¯t step back.

    I was so tired. Tired of crying. Tired of hurting. Tired of the constant fucking pain. I was so fucking tired

    of fighting. The pain was constant. Always there. Slowly killing me. Reducing me to

    someone I didn¡¯t want to see.

    ¡°I don¡¯t think I can do this, Rowan. I just want it all to stop. I want to know what peace is because I

    haven¡¯t had it since I was born. I just don¡¯t have it in me to keep fighting anymore¡± I cry, feeling

    worn out.

    ¡°Killing yourself isn¡¯t the answer¡± he says, just as he grabs me and pulls me back.

    I had been so distracted that I didn¡¯t notice how close he had gotten.

    ¡°Let go of me! Let me go right now. Let me end this once and for all¡± I scream, thrashing in his

    hands. Needing him to let me go.

    ¡°Snap out of it Ava!¡± he shouts back at me. Refusing to let go. ¡°Think about Noah, are you going to

    leave him motherless? Are you going to leave him with the pain of losing his beloved mother at such a

    young age? What about you¡¯re unborn child, are you so fucking selfish and cruel that you

    would kill an innocent baby? Your own flesh and blood¡± he shakes me, his face hardening with

    each word he says.

    At the mention of Noah¡¯s name. I stop fighting him.

    ¡°Rowan¡­¡±

    ¡°No! I don¡¯t care what you think right now or if you¡¯ll even hate meter, but I¡¯m booking you an

    appointment with a therapist. You¡¯re going to work on your issues and you¡¯re going to be the best

    goddamn mother to your two children and you will love them both unconditionally despite who

    their father is or so help me God, Ava, I will¡­¡± he doesn¡¯t finish his sentence but I get what he¡¯s

    saying.

    He was breathing hard, grey storms raging in his eyes. His hands tightening around me as if he

    I sink in his arms. The fightpletely leaving me He picks me up bridal style, holding me close

    as I feel his erratic beating heart.

    His colyne washes over me and I calm down.

    ¡°How did you find me?¡± I ask as he walks us to his car. @

    ¡°I will always find you, Ava¡± he replies firmly. ¡°Always¡±

    ¡°Thank you, for pulling me back today¡± I tell him as I sink deeper into his warmth, feeling ashamed that

    I contemted taking my life and that of my baby.

    His reply is a soft kiss to my cheek then my temple.

    I sigh. Rowan was right. Noah didn¡¯t deserve to lose his mom and my unborn child didn¡¯t deserve to

    lose his or her life at my hands. They deserve to live fully and have a mom that loved them so

    much

    I was going to make a couple of changes. One of them being pushing my bitterness and anger aside

    and facing Ethan. He needed to know that he was going to be a father. Which means I have

    to make a trip to prison.

 Chapter 61

    Her life line

    Rowan

    Fuck run my hand through my hair as I watch her sleep. Tears tracks were still visible on her

    cheeks and it breaks me seeing her so broken.

    Ava has always been fucking good at hiding her feelings. Today she didn¡¯t and it was fucking raw

    It was drowning her and without even her realizing it, she was drowning me along with her.

    I take a seat near her sleeping form. I push my fingers through her hair as I massage her scalp

    gently. How the fuck have I never realized how soft and thick her hair is? It was bliss just

    touching it.

    She sighs in her sleep in contentment. Her face rxed. All the pain from earlier melted away. In

    her sleep, she¡¯s at a peace. She doesn¡¯t have shadows osting her.

    I know it¡¯s fucking creepy, but watching her sleep has be my favorite thing. I did the same

    thing yesterday and here I am doing it today. She¡¯s so beautiful it hurts. Even with dark under

    eyes, she¡¯s still stunning. I don¡¯t know the fuck I ever thought she couldn¡¯tpare to Emma.

    I softly kiss her cheeks before standing up. I am reluctant to leave. I fight the part of me that

    wants to pull the covers and slide in next to her. I don¡¯t know where this need ising from. It

    was never there when we were married. Back then, I didn¡¯t want her next to me. I always avoided

    cuddling. Right now though, it¡¯s all I can fucking think of.

    I force myself to leave her room and walk out of her house. Taking a breath, I contemte going

    back, but I don¡¯t. I know she won¡¯t appreciate me being in bed with her. She might have epted

    myfort, but that doesn¡¯t mean she¡¯s forgiven me for my part in hurting her.

    I haven¡¯t even asked for her forgiveness for heaven¡¯s sake. I should and I will. I just need her to be

    more stable when I do. 2

    I take out my phone and call my twin. He picks up on the first ring.

    ¡°Meet me at the club¡± I tell him before hanging up.

    I don¡¯t have to wait for his reply. I just know that he will be there.

    I give Ava¡¯s house onest look before I jump into my car and drive away. About half an hourter,

    I¡¯m at one of my clubs. I enter through the VIP entrance that¡¯s only meant for me, Gabe and any of

    ¡°Sir¡± the bouncer greets I nod at him then enter the club.

    The damn music was loud and it was giving me a headache. Moving fast as the bouncer parts the

    way for ane, we get to my private booth where things are much quieter.

    He proceeds to stand guard at the entrance. It¡¯s not once or twice that women tried gate crashing

    just to get free drinks.

    My personal bartender walks in with my drink and hands it to me. I don¡¯t have to tell him what I

    take, he already knows. Just like he knows what Gabe and Travis take.

    ¡°What¡¯s got you in such foul mood?¡± Gabe asks walking in.

    He¡¯s younger than me by three minutes. While he¡¯s the outgoing and social one. I¡¯m the brooding

    antisocial twin.

    ¡°Nothing¡± I mumble leaning back in my chair.

    I still can¡¯t get the fucking image of Ava on the cliff. The way she was so close to the edge. It all

    but killed me when she took a hesitant step forward. The fear that had encased me was like

    nothing like I¡¯ve ever felt. It was tangible and it suffocated me

    My heart honestly stopped and I saw my fucking life sh before my eyes. She was so broken and

    I wanted nothing more than to piece her back together.

    I don¡¯t know what I would have done if I had beente. I don¡¯t know why, but I know that if she had

    died then my heart would have died with her. 1

    ¡°You forget I know you better than you know yourself brother¡± he takes a seat opposite me.

    ¡°Ava¡± her name slips out of my mouth in an anguished tone.

    ¡°You care about her¡±

    ¡°Of course I fucking care about her. She¡¯s the mother of my son¡± I snap at him, frustrated.

    The whole thing was frustrating me. She was spiraling out of control and I just didn¡¯t know how to

    help her. I didn¡¯t know how to be what she needs. I¡¯ve spent so much time pushing her away, that

    I don¡¯t know what makes her tick.

    ¡°It¡¯s more than that big brother, you just refuse to open your fucking eyes and see it¡± he drawls.

    He¡¯s been on and on about that one issue. That my concern for Ava stem from feelings that ran

    much deeper We keep arguing about that. I think I would fucking know if I was in love with her. I

    care about her, and I have feelings I can¡¯t describe, but love? I don¡¯t think so.

    ¡°How¡¯s the doing?¡± he asks when I don¡¯t say anything else.

    ¡°She¡¯s pregnant

    He stares and me with wide eyes and an open jaw. ¡°With Ethan¡¯s baby?¡±

    ¡°Who else would she pregnant for?¡± I ask him in irritation.

    When I found out yesterday, something just shifted inside me. Knowing she was expectant with that

    bastard¡¯s baby just made everything more real. I had been blocking the knowledge that she had slept

    with Ethan out.

    When I found out, there was this primal part of me that wanted to kill Ethan for touching what¡¯s mine.

    After that I blocked it out. Tried pretending that it didn¡¯t happen because that¡¯s the only

    way I could calm myself down. Her pregnancy now was proof that she did sleep with another man

    and for some reason it fucking hurts and drives me insane knowing that. 7

    It¡¯spletely unreasonable. I wanted her to move on. I wanted her to leave me alone. I was nning

    to woe Emma and marry herter on. Yet now that I know that Ava had moved on. Moved

    on to the point she feltfortable enough to let another man touch. I feel like a fucking piece of

    me died. I can¡¯t exin it and I don¡¯t know why, but I feel lost. 3

    ¡°So what is she going to do?¡± he pulls me back to the present with his question.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡± I whisper, staring at the amber liquid in my ss.

    I debate telling him what happened at the cliff, but I stop myself. She has been through too much

    already, I wasn¡¯t going to tell my brother what she tried doing in her darkest moment. She

    deserved to be protected and that was what I was going to do.

    ¡°Sir, this came in for you¡± Mike, my bartender hands me a small envelope.

    He leaves immediately after.

    ¡°What is it?¡± Gabe asks curiously, moving to the edge of his seat.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡± I tell him as I open it.

    A piece of paper falls out. I unfold it and read it.

    (I¡¯m not one to go after kids, so you can rest assured that I won¡¯t go after your son I can¡¯t say the same

    for the rest of your loved ones though I¡¯ming for you Rowan and everyone you hold dear]

    It was signed in the Reapers insignia.

    I should fear, but I don¡¯t. All that registers is that they won¡¯t go after Noah. That¡¯s all that matters

    to me right now.

    I never want to feel the fear I felt when I saw her on that cliff. It was time for Noah toe home.

    He has always been Ava life line, and now more than ever she needs him.

 Chapter 62

    62 Noah¡¯s back

    Ava

    I¡¯m cleaning the house. A thorough cleaning just to keep my mind off things. I¡¯m stilling to

    terms with the fact that I¡¯m pregnant.

    When Rowan rejected the idea of us having another baby. I all but gave up on giving Noah a

    sibling. Now I have another baby on the way and I didn¡¯t know how to feel.

    My phone rings and I pick it up. Normally I would have refused to pick up, but not today. Pushing

    those close to me away wasn¡¯t doing me any good..

    ¡°Hi Letty¡± I murmur while sitting down.

    I¡¯ve been so tired ofte. I should have known that there was something more to it.

    ¡°Oh my God. You picked up. I thought you wouldn¡¯t¡± she screams through the phone before

    sniffing. ¡°I missed hearing your voice. It¡¯s been weeks¡±

    ?

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± I release a breath. ¡°I just didn¡¯t know how to handle everything so I pushed you away¡±

    I¡¯ve never been good atmunicating my feelings. I¡¯ve never been good at even acknowledging

    them. When I¡¯m stressed or over emotional, I shut down. I try to bury them so that I can function

    properly. Pushing my emotions down is usually better than acknowledging them. Now I know

    that isn¡¯t healthy at all.

    ¡°Are you okay now?¡±

    ¡°Not all the way, but I will be¡± I assure her.

    I don¡¯t know how I n to do that, but I was going toe out of this stronger.

    I still can¡¯t believe that I thought of killing myself and my own child. I may not know how to feel,

    but this baby was my blood. Just like Noah is. I n to be a good mother. I n to be the best

    mother to him or her.

    I shake those thoughts away. I don¡¯t want to think of how low I had hit. I don¡¯t want to think of

    what I almost did.

    ¡°I¡¯m pregnant¡± I whisper, when she doesn¡¯t say anything after a while.

    What? She shrieks in surprise ¡°When did you find out?¡±

    ¡°About a week ago

    Just like win Noah, this baby is unexpected and unnned. That won¡¯t stop me from loving him

    or her. I always wanted another child. I may not like his or her father right now, but it¡¯s not their

    Laush

    Oh darling, congrattions¡± she tells me as the surprises fades and joy fills her tone.

    You sound happy about the news. I thought you wouldn¡¯t, given who the father is¡±

    ¡°I am. I truly believe that a baby is a blessing, and this baby is who you need to pull you through

    the heartache you¡¯ve recently been through. This baby is your saving grace. He or she came to you

    just in time.¡± She takes a deep breath as emotions clogs her voice.

    ¡°You were drowning, Ava. I could see it. Everyone could see it. I believe this baby has done what no

    one else has managed to do. Pulling you out of the darkness¡±

    I think about what she¡¯s said and it¡¯s true. It¡¯s because of Noah and this child that I want to get

    better. That I¡¯m willing to get the help I need.

    ¡°Thank you for trying Letty. Even when I kept pushing you away, you still kept trying. You never

    gave up on me¡± I was close to tears.

    Every single thing makes me emotional now.

    You¡¯re my bestfriend. More like the sister I never had. Of course I wouldn¡¯t give up on you

    because I know you would do the same¡±

    We catch up after that. Moving away from serious conversations. By the time we say goodbye and

    hang up. It was an hour or soter.

    It felt nice talking to her. I didn¡¯t realize how much I had missed her. Just how lonely I had been

    these past few weeks. I felt more like myself, now. I wasn¡¯t quite there yet, but I was on my way.

    I finish cleaning and I am exhausted by the time I am done. I copse on the sofa, just as I hear my

    front door open.

    I frown. Who the hell would dare enter my house without knocking or ringing the bell?

    My question is answered when I hear his sweet voice.

    ¡°Mommy Mommy I am home!¡± he screams.

    A big smile takes over my face and I stand up. I rush out of the living room just as he breaks

    through the entry way.

    ¡°Noah!¡±

    His body crashes with mine. I hug him close to me as tears fall down my face. His body just fits

    perfectly. I had missed him.

    Kissing him all over his face, I hold him tighter.

    ¡°Mom!¡± he giggle, but he doesn¡¯t push me away.

    ¡°I¡¯ve missed you so much! How are you here right now?¡± I ask him as I pull away a little though I

    don¡¯t let him go.

    We were both on the floor, but I didn¡¯t care. I was just so fucking happy to have him here with me.

    ¡°Dad, came for me. He said you needed me. It was supposed to be a surprise, that¡¯s why I didn¡¯t tell

    you when we talked yesterday¡±

    It was only after he mentions his father that I realize Rowan was standing before him. Our eyes

    lock. I see an emotion in his eyes, but I just can¡¯t figure out what it is.

    ¡°Hi¡± I say softly.

    He has been by my house everyday just to check up on. He has been supportive and kind.

    Something that still surprises me. He was so different from the Rowan I was used to that I didn¡¯t

    know how to react to this version of him. 2

    True to his words, he got me a therapist who I began seeing three days ago. Every time he does

    something nice, I¡¯m left surprised by his action. It was so unlike him. 1

    ¡°Hey, Ava¡­how are you today?¡± he asks with a small smile.

    ¡°I¡¯m good¡± I shrug. I was making steps to get better and that¡¯s what matters.

    Noah pulls at my sleeves and I look at him. ¡°Is it true that you¡¯re having a baby?¡±

    I re at Rowan who looks at me sheepishly while rubbing the back of his head.

    ¡°Yes¡± I tell him in fear.

    He has never said anything about wanting a sibling, so I don¡¯t know how he¡¯ll to react.

    I¡¯m surprised when a huge smile takes over his face and he bumps his fist in the air

    ¡°Oh man, this is so cool¡± he screams in happiness. ¡°Can you make the baby be a girl? I always

    wanted a baby sister¡°.

    His joy eases something in my heart. A bit of the panic I had settles down. If Noah is okay with me

    having another baby, then everything will work out.

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t work like that, baby¡± I gently exin it to him. ¡°It¡¯s a fifty¨Cfifty percent chance, so it

    might be a boy¡±

    ¡°No! It¡¯s a girl mommy. I¡¯m going to get a baby sister because that¡¯s what I want and I always get

    what I want¡± his face is etched in determination.

    Right now he looks so much like Rowan that it¡¯s really uncanny.

    ¡°Noah¡­¡± I didn¡¯t want him to be disappointed if in case the baby is boy.

    ¡°No¡± he goes to argue but Rowan cuts him off.

    ¡°Buddy, could you give me and your mom a chance to talk?¡± he looks between the two of us before

    nodding his head and going upstairs.

    I had made a live video and given him a tour of the house, so he knows where his bedroom is.

    ¡°How did you know I needed him?¡± I ask him standing up.

    He shrugs his shoulder. ¡°Call it instincts, I can¡¯t really exin it¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m happy to see him, but isn¡¯t it unsafe for him? The Reaper¡¯s still remain a threat even if we

    haven¡¯t heard from them¡±

    He sighs ¡°Don¡¯t worry about that, they won¡¯t hurt Noah. I can¡¯t promise about the rest, but Noah

    isn¡¯t a target and for me that¡¯s all that matters¡±

    I don¡¯t feel particr anything when he mentions the rest. Like he said, Noah is my main concern.

    Apart from Letty, the others could burn in hell.

    ¡°Thanks for bringing him back and for everything you done for me¡± I tell him genuinely. He has

    done a lot for me these past few days, and I¡¯ll always be grateful.

    ¡°Anything for you, Ava.¡±

    I frown when he says that. It was so weird hearing him say that when he has never really cared about

    me. I was tempted to check his forehead. Just to make sure that he doesn¡¯t have a fever.

    Before I can dwell on why he¡¯s changed so much. Running footsteps echo as theye down the

    stairs.

    ¡°Mom! My room is awesome¡­It looks better than in the video¡± he screeches.

    I smile. It really doesn¡¯t matter why Rowan has changed. It shouldn¡¯t be my concern. Beside I¡¯ve got so

    many things to think about. Like how the hell I was going to face Ethan tomorrow.

 Chapter 63

    I love her

    Ethan

    When put my n in motion, I never expected to fall in love with her. That was the biggest

    hindsight known that has ever happened to me.

    I thought it would be easy. Just kill her and I would have everything I¡¯ve worked for. I didn¡¯t know that it

    would turn out to be harder than anything I¡¯ve ever done.

    Ava isn¡¯t the kind of woman you ignore. She isn¡¯t the type of woman you brush aside. She¡¯s the type

    you fall in love. The kind of woman who makes you want to be a better man.

    I knew the moment I started falling in love with her. I tried preventing it, but it was impossible. It was

    simr to trying to avoid a head on collision. It was just nearly impossible.

    When I realized I had fallen for her, I tried fixing things but it was already toote. The damage had

    been done and I knew that it was only a matter of time before the truth came out. Instead of letting her

    go and backing away, I held on to her for the little time I knew I had with her.

    Hurting her will always be my biggest regret. Her pain was mine too. While her heart was breaking,

    mine was breaking alongside hers. I destroyed a future we might have had because of

    greed and if she never forgave, I would understand.

    ¡°Ethan, you got a visitor¡± a guard says.

    I refused to see my parents every time they came to see me. I was fucking ashamed. They took me in.

    They loved me. They gave me their name and I turned around and stabbed them in the back by

    trying to kill their biological daughter.

    I don¡¯t understand how they can still want to see me or be near me. If I were them, I wouldn¡¯t have

    been so forgiving.

    ¡°Ethan¡­¡± he shouts. I turn back and give him a cold look.

    For a moment I think of telling him to tell them I don¡¯t want to see them, but something stops me.

    Something prevents the words froming out.

    I nod my head and he gestures to my hands. After extending them, he handcuffs me, before

    leading me out of my cell.

    I¡¯m a new bee here, but no one dares to touch. Mainly because I¡¯m a tough motherfucker and I

    I walk out and freeze. Thest person I expected toe see me was seated in the furthest corner.

    I walk slowly as if I was in a daze. Unable to believe that Ava was actually here.

    The guard, unlocks my cuffs.

    ¡°Ava?¡± I choke out as I take a seat and face her.

    I memorize her face. Knowing that this is probably thest time I would see her. She was most likely

    here to get closure. Most women seek that, before moving on.

    She wrings her hand as she looks at me. It¡¯s not long before she¡¯s dropping her eyes. As if just looking

    at me was causing her pain. Seeing her beautiful face just makes all I¡¯ve lost the more real. I will never

    have her again. Never have a future with her. I¡¯ll never make her my wife nor will I get to see her belly

    growing with my kid.

    I feel the loss deep inside my bones. My cold beating heart hurting in a way that it has never before.

    Because of my own greed, I lost the only women I¡¯ve ever and probably will ever love.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t know whether toe or not. Whether you¡¯ll even care or not, but I just had toe¡± she

    says in a small unsure voice.

    The fucking grip around my heart tightens. The fact that she¡¯s unsure while talking to me, just shows

    how much I¡¯ve broken her. All the progress she was able to make was destroyed by my

    betrayal.

    ¡°What is it, Ava?¡± I ask her, my voice softening.

    I wanted to hold her, I just wasn¡¯t sure if she would let me. If she would pull away. She was no

    longer mine, so I had no rights to her.

    She takes a deep breath. ¡°I-I¡±

    She¡¯s unable to finish the sentence. My brows pull together as I try to stem the worry inside. Was

    something wrong? Why was she having a hard time telling me what was eating her up?

    ¡°Ava¡­¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m pregnant¡± she whispers, looking down at the table.

    I still. Sure that I hadn¡¯t heard her correctly. She said she was pregnant, but that couldn¡¯t be the

    fucking case.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m pregnant.¡± She repeats. ¡°I found out a week ago and got it confirmed. I¡¯m around three months

    along

    I can¡¯t believe that I was going to be a father. That Ava and I managed to create life together. I still

    remember the way her body felt against mine. How making love to her felt like fucking heaven

    I was honestly honored that she was carrying my child. I wouldn¡¯t have picked a better mother for

    my baby.

    Just as that thoughts crosses my mind another one crashes inside my head painfully.

    ¡°You¡¯re here to tell me you don¡¯t want the baby and are getting an abortion, right?¡± I ask her stiffly,

    every joint in my body locking.

    She looks up sharply at me. Fire burning inside those brown orbs. For a moment I see the old Ava

    back. The one she was bing before I broke her.

    ¡°Why the hell would you think that?¡± she snaps. ¡°I admit, when I found out I wasn¡¯t in my right frame of

    mind and I thought the baby would be better off not being born, but I quickly came back

    to my senses.¡±

    I heave a sigh of relief. I don¡¯t know what I would have fucking done if she had told me she didn¡¯t

    want to have my baby.

    ¡°I came to tell you because I wanted to know what you want to do. I know that you don¡¯t really care

    about me so maybe you wouldn¡¯t care about the baby too. Do you want to be in his or her life?¡± (1

    I think about it before answering. ¡°No¡±

    It pained me to say it, but the baby was better off without me. I am a monster for what I did to Ava.

    She¡¯s silent for a while, before she stands up and picks up her bag. My head falls forward. Hiding

    the pain that I was feeling inside.

    She goes to leave, but then she stops and sits back down.

    ¡°Why?¡± she demands. ¡°Is it because you were just using me?¡±

    ¡°What can I offer him or her? I¡¯m in prison, Ava. By the time I get out, he or she will be an adult. I¡¯ll

    miss all the milestones, I¡¯ll never get to be a real father to them, plus who wants a dad that would

    do such despicable things to their mom?¡± I ask, desperate to have her understand.

    She doesn¡¯t say anything for a while. I think I¡¯ve made her see reason, but she surprises me

    ¡°I know, but you¡¯re their father Whether you¡¯re in prison or not, it won¡¯t change that. You can be with us

    through every milestone, Ethan. I can include you if you want. You never have to miss anything. This

    baby derserves to know his or her father and your child will love you despite your sins, you just have to

    be there for them¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re willing to bring our baby here for visitations?¡± I ask in surprise.

    ¡°Yes¡±

    1 stare at her in surprise. Ava was truly phenomenal. I don¡¯t understand how the hell Rowan was able

    to resist falling in love with her for the nine years they were together.

    ¡°Thank you¡± I tell her, my voice so full of emotion.

    She nods her head and begins to stand. ¡°I need to go, but I¡¯ll be in touch. I¡¯ll reach out again after my

    next appointment. In the meantime you can have this¡±

    She gives me a copy of a scan. It doesn¡¯t take long to figure out what I¡¯m looking at. I¡¯m not an

    emotional man, but tears fill my fucking eyes.

    ¡°I care about you¡± I tell her before she can leave.

    At my words, she stops and turns to face me.

    ¡°W¨Cwhat?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll hate myself more if you leave without hearing me.¡± I breathe out. ¡°I fucking love you, Ava. I don¡¯t

    know when it happened or how it happened, but it did. I love you with every beating of my

    heart¡±

    Her breath hitches and mist fills her eyes. ¡°You have to know that it¡¯s toote now¡± she whispers.

    ¡°I know. I fucked up, but that still doesn¡¯t change the fact that I fell fast and hard for you¡±

    ¡°I saw a future with you, you know that? It was so tangible and bright. My feelings for you were

    blooming. I was on my way to giving you my whole heart. Broken pieces and all. Instead you

    destroyed everything¡±

    I stand, unable to take the crashing pain. I knew she was fond of me and liked mypany. I

    didn¡¯t know that she had developed feelings for me. That she was on her way to falling in love

    with me.

    That knowledge was killing me Destroying me from the inside out. I lost everything and because of my

    foolishness, I couldn¡¯t be an ever present father to my child Because of my stupidity, I¡¯m now missing

    out on having a great woman by my side.

    ¡°Will you ever forgive me?¡± I ask brokenly.

    ¡°Maybe some timeter in the future, but not right now¡±

    Before I can think and back out, I pull her into my arms and kiss her with a passion that¡¯s suffocating,

    knowing very well that this is thest time I¡¯ll ever kiss her. That this is thest time

    she¡¯ll ever allow me to kiss her.

    This was our goodbye kiss. Deep down I know that I¡¯ve lost my chance with her.

 Chapter 64

    Anita

    +15 BONUS

    Ava

    I sat at a private booth enjoying a piece of cake. Noah was spending the night at Rowan¡¯s so I was

    child free tonight.

    I was feeling good for some reason. In that good feeling, I decided to grab something to eat. I was in

    the mood for somefort food. That¡¯s why I was currently here eating dessert like I¡¯ve been

    starved for days.

    My visit to prison was eventful. I had fully expected Ethan to tell me he doesn¡¯t want the baby. Instead I

    got more than I had bargained for.

    His confession of love left me feeling empty in a way. He had to understand that it was toote now. I

    wouldn¡¯t ever think about being with him. He tried killing me for heaven¡¯s sake! If I go back

    to him, what does that say about me?

    I wasn¡¯t cruel enough to deny him his rights as a father. Even if I didn¡¯t want to see him personally. I

    could always ask Nora to take the baby to him. That was the furthest I was willing to go. The biggest

    effort I was willing to make when it came to Ethan. Anything beyond that would

    be downright stupid.

    I decided that I was done with men. I mean no good cane out of chasing love. I wanted love from

    two men and what I got was heartbreak and pain.

    It was time for me to give up on love, because the way I see it, it doesn¡¯t want me. It never has. I am

    learning to make peace with that. Now I was going to focus on being my best version. Focus on

    being the best mother.

    I push another piece of cake in my mouth and moan. It felt like heaven as the taste explodes in

    my mouth.

    ¡°Aren¡¯t you afraid you¡¯ll get fat? I mean you already are, but I fear you will get fatter¡± the shrill

    voice makes me snap my eyes open.

    I groan when I open my eyes and find Anita staring at me with a mean look. Behind her were

    some of her co¨Cworkers. Theyugh when they hear her insulting me, but I honestly don¡¯t care.

    Right now they were all insignificant.

    She was one of Rowan¡¯s financial advisors and as you can tell, she doesn¡¯t like me. She and

    I never really understood where their hate came from Sure I was married to Rowan. Who they both

    wanted, but anyone with a brain could tell that Rowan hated my guts.

    ¡°I¡¯m talking to you fat bitch¡± she screeches when I continue to ignore her.

    ¡°Sure, talk away. Doesn¡¯t mean I have to listen to a fucking word you say¡± I respond before

    drinking a ss of juice.

    Back when we married, I always kept quiet when she would say awful things to me. I was so desperate

    to please Rowan, to get him to like me, that I let his workers walk all over me. Part of me wanted to

    believe he was oblivious to their mean treatments, but I just can¡¯t let myself think

    that he didn¡¯t know.

    ¡°You think you¡¯re something now that you¡¯re apparently rich?¡± she sneers. ¡°I bet you got your

    money by getting on your back¡±

    At that, Iugh. These kind of women are so insecure that they think everyone gets to the top by

    spreading their legs.

    I speak after myugh dies down. ¡°I¡¯m not you, Anita¡±

    ¡°You bitch! How dare you¡± she goes to lunge at me, but I stand up and re at her.

    I was done letting these stupid idiots walk over me.

    ¡°Take one more step towards me and you¡¯re going to regret it¡± I snap, my eyes narrowing in slits.¡± The

    Ava you knew took your insults lying down, I promise I won¡¯t. You push me, I¡¯ll push back

    harder and I fucking swear you won¡¯t like what I do¡±

    She looks behind her, before fixing her green eyes on me. She dragged her friends to my table

    expecting to humiliate me. The jokes on her, though.

    ¡°Are you threatening me?¡± she walks towards me, trying to intimidate me.

    I shrug ¡°Sure, if that¡¯s how you want to take it¡±

    ¡°One word from me and Rowan will be on your ass¡­.we¡¯ve danced this game before Ava. You know

    all I have to tell Rowan is that you¡¯ve been rude to me and he will blow up on you¡±

    Before, that would have made me bow down. I desperately didn¡¯t want to have any more problems

    with Rowan, so I would let her humiliate me. She would revel in it. Feeling powerful that she was

    ¡±

    15 BONUSI give her a smile ¡°Go ahead. I honestly don¡¯t give a fuck. In fact, why don¡¯t you take your

    phone out right now and call him? I challenge her

    ¡°You think I won¡¯t?¡±

    I¡¯m counting on you doing it¡± I reply smugly.

    Slowly by slowly, the self¨Cesteem I thought I had lost after Ethan betrayed me was starting toe

    back. Never will I allow a man to make me hit rock bottom again.

    ¡°What¡¯s going on here?¡± a stern voice says.

    I look up to find Corrine staring between us. We weren¡¯t friends, more like acquaintances or business

    partner. Her father¡¯s construction firm is the one I use when building Hope Houses. She is the owner of

    this restaurant. The construction firm is a familypany and she was a

    shareholder, but the restaurants were all hers.

    ¡°This woman here is causing a disturbance, I suggest you kick her out¡± Anita rushes to speak. ¡°We

    were just minding our own business when she started calling me names¡±

    I smirk. Folding my hands across my chest as I watch her make a fool of herself.

    Everyone knows who Corrine is. No one though, knows that we know each other. I was waiting for the

    show to start. Unlike Rowan, Corinne wasn¡¯t easily fooled.

    ¡°Is that so?¡± she asks, her voice low.

    I never let myself get too close to her. She wanted us to be friends, but at that time I thought that no

    one would want a loser like me as a friend. Instead I kept her at arm length. Only talking to her

    when business was involved.

    Anita nods her head. She gives her friends a small signal and they all agree with her. What a

    bunch of idiots.

    ¡°Do you think I¡¯m stupid? Do you think this entire ce has no cameras?¡± he asks them. ¡°I saw

    everything and then you dare lie to me?¡±

    I see the moment Anita realizes she has fucked up. She swallows hard, panic etched on her face.

    ¡°It¡¯s just a misunderstanding¡± she struggles to say, clutching at straws.

    ¡°Get out!¡±

    ¡°I said get out of my fucking restaurant! I won¡¯t have a lowly bitch with no manners try and humiliate my

    friend in my own fucking restaurant¡± Corrine was seething and it was written all

    over her face.

    I was suprised she called me her friend, but I push the thought away.

    ¡°Are you going to leave or do you want me to have my body guards drag you out?¡±

    ¡°Fine, the food here isn¡¯t even good¡± she huffs.

    We all know that she¡¯s lying. This was one of the best restaurants in the city. Everyone knew that.

    Anita turns around to leave, it¡¯s only then I realize that we had attracted attention. Before she can

    leave, Corrine calls her name.

    ¡°And Anita?¡±

    ¡°What?¡± she snaps.

    ¡°You¡¯re no longer weed at any of my restaurants. That goes for you friends too¡±

    I smirk when her mouth falls open in shock. She then stomps away. Her friends hot on her heels.

    Cursing her for getting them banned.

    ¡°Thank you for that, Corrine. She was starting to get on my damn nerves¡± I humph.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay¡­it was no problem¡± she gives me a small smile.

    I go to tell her something more, when my name is called.

    ¡°Ava?¡± I freeze at the sound of her voice.

    I turn around to find Rowan¡¯s mom standing behind me. Next to her with tears in her eyes, is the

    woman I thought was my mother. The woman who called me her daughter, but treated me like I was

    nothing.

 Chapter 65

    65 Heart to heart

    ¡°Ava can we please talk?¡± mother pleads when I move to leave.

    1 stare at her, not sure what she wanted. What was there to talk about? Hasn¡¯t everything already

    been said and done?

    ¡°There isn¡¯t anything for us to talk about, Mother¡± I insist.

    Looking back, I see now how I made a distinction when it came to her and father. While Emma and

    Travis referred to them as mom and dad, to me they were Father and Mother. Clean, cut and

    I never truly acknowledged them as my parents, because deep down I just knew. Parents don¡¯t hate

    their children. Parents don¡¯t neglect their child and treat them like shit. I made what I called them

    impersonal because on a spiritual level, I didn¡¯t consider them my parents.

    ¡°Please, I beg you¡± she pleads with tears in her eyes.

    It was so strange looking at her with tears in her eyes. Her face flushed and soft. This is a look I¡¯ve

    never seen her direct at me. Her face was always in a frown. She always looked at me with a certain

    cold indifference that was specifically targeted at me.

    ¡°How about you show me to our table as they talk?¡± Martha, Rowan¡¯s mom asks Corrine while

    cutting off what I was about to say.

    Corrine looks skeptical. Like she didn¡¯t want to leave me. After all, it was known that the Sharp family

    weren¡¯t my biggest fan even though I was apparently their daughter.

    Martha doesn¡¯t give Corrine a chance. Instead she links their hands and pulls her away in the

    opposite direction.

    I sigh and take my seat. ¡°Let¡¯s just get this over with, looks like you won¡¯t leave me alone until

    you¡¯ve said your piece, so do it now before I change my mind¡± I tell her coldly.

    I used to adore this woman back in my younger days. When I was around five or six. That quickly

    changed when I realized that she didn¡¯t feel the same way. It changed when I realized she treated

    me as if I was more of a burden, than a daughter.

    She hesitantly takes her seat before taking my hands in hers. I pull them away. Not wanting her

    to touch me. I didn¡¯t want her near me. The part of me that had longed for such moments was long

    Tm sorry, Ava More than you¡¯ll ever know¡± she whispers, folding into herself.

    Instead of saying anything. I keep quiet. I always imagined this moment. Always day dreamed of her

    apologizing to me, then pulling me into her arms. I used to crave it. Pray for it. Hope for the day to

    come. Now that it¡¯s here, the joy I thought I would feel is nonexistent. I feel absolutely nothing as I stare

    at her.

    The way I treated you was wrong. You were just a child and instead of embracing you, I pushed you

    away. You loved me, loved us, but we gave you nothing but scorn. I wish more than anything that I

    could go back in time and change things. Go back and be the mother you deserved¡± she said

    before continuing.

    ¡°I never saw your value. Never acknowledged that you¡¯re the best daughter anyone can have. It took

    almost losing you to realize how much you mean to me¡±

    She was full on crying. If I was my old self, then her tears would have moved me. I wasn¡¯t though,

    and her tears meant absolutely nothing to me.

    Years of pain. More than twenty five years of hurting. It can¡¯t be erased by a few drops of tears. It just

    doesn¡¯t work like that. It would heaven¡¯s intervention inorder for that to happen.

    ¡°Look, let¡¯s cut to the crap okay? If this is about the threat my mother made on yourpany, we can

    discuss it as adults. There is no need for you to try and sweeten me up, that shit won¡¯t work. Instead of

    all the drama, why don¡¯t you tell me the real reason you wanted us to talk¡± I tell her

    emotionlessly.

    I see hurt sh in her eyes, but I don¡¯t care. She¡¯s been hurting me for years. This was nothing

    compared to what I had to endure at her hands and that of her family.

    Besides, I wasn¡¯t sure why she looked hurt. I was sure that the only reason she was here was to try

    and save their familypany.

    ¡°It hurts that you would think that of me. That you would think that the only reason I was apologizing

    was so I could save thepany. Then again I have no one to me but myself. It¡¯s

    because of my own actions that you find me so untrustworthy¡±

    Looking at her now, you couldn¡¯t tell she was the same woman who used to yell at me for the

    slightest mistake. Who used to treat me like I didnt matter. It was so weird. We¡¯ve never had a

    heart to heart, so sitting here as she pours out her heart is a bit unsettling.

    ¡°I truly want your forgiveness. I want to be your mother in every way. I want to build what I shattered I

    want to win back the love I so carelessly threw away¡±

    I sigh. ¡°I don¡¯t want toe off as mean, but first of all you¡¯re not my mother. The DNA test report I

    have back at home can prove that. Second, that ship sailed a long time ago. You and me? Being

    close? That will never happen. Lastly, I don¡¯t want you in my life. In fact, I would prefer if you and your

    children continued ignoring me like I didn¡¯t exist. You did it for close to three decades, it shouldn¡¯t be a

    hardship for you to continue doing it¡±

    Some would say I was being ungrateful and maybe I was. The only thing they gave me was

    materialistic in nature. For me, the emotional aspect may be more important than material things.

    Knowing now what I know, I would have preferred if they had dumped me in an orphanage

    instead

    ¡°Please don¡¯t say that. Don¡¯t say it¡¯s toote¡± her soft pleading voice pulls me to the present.

    ¡°But it¡¯s the truth. You¡¯re more than twenty five years toote¡±

    She wipes her tears. Determination etched on her face. ¡°I won¡¯t give up on you, Ava. You¡¯re still my

    daughter and I¡¯ll do anything to get your love back¡±

    I breathe out and rub my temples. I could already feel a migraineing on.

    I don¡¯t say anything as she stands up. Nor do I look up. She can continue being delusional for all I care,

    but nothing was going to make me change my mind. I feel nothing when ites to her. She managed

    to kill the love I had for her and I don¡¯t see that changing anytime soon.

    ¡°Before I go, I wanted to give you this. Your father told me to give it to you before he died. I just

    never got a chance to¡±

    I don¡¯t acknowledge her. Instead I continue ignoring her. When she sees this, she lets out a sigh

    and ces something on the table.

    It¡¯s after she walks away that I look at what she left. I¡¯m shocked to find a piece of paper that had

    bloody finger prints.

    Only after looking at it for over five minutes that it hits me. This piece of paper is the same one

    that I saw father handing over to her before he went to surgery.

 Chapter 66

    His letter

    1 stare at the piece of paper on my table, not really sure what to do about it.

    I was now at home. I had gotten back like an hour ago. The whole time, I spent it debating whether I

    should open it or tear it to pieces

    The paper had been burning a hole in my purse the entire time I drove back home. Now, here I am

    Still staring at it.

    A part of me was curious about it contents. The other didn¡¯t much care about what was written. The

    man who wrote it hated me. What good coulde out of reading a letter written by him?

    I pick it up, about to tear it, but a voice stops me.

    ¡®Just read the damn thing. What¡¯s the worst that could happen?¡® my inner voice whispers.

    I cringe at the words.

    Famousst words. I think to myself.

    The worst thing that could happen is he hurts me.

    Words were dangerous. They cause more damage than any weapon can. I still remember some of the

    harsh words my so called parents said to me over the years. The wounds their words inflicted

    have never truly healed.

    ¡®Just open it!¡® the voice screams.

    Not giving myself a second to back out, I unfold the letter.

    [Dear Ava,

    If you¡¯re reading this then it¡¯s because I didn¡¯t make it out of surgery. Truth be told, I don¡¯t think I

    will. They¡¯re trying to save me not knowing that their efforts are futile. I am too far gone and I can

    already see you grandparents calling me toe join them. It may be the imagination of a dying

    man or not, but I believe I have a special ce in hell for how I treated you.

    You were such a sweet girl when Winnie left you with us, but we destroyed that. We destroyed

    your light and I will forever regret that I did that to you my sweet girl.

    I remember when she still had you. I used to y with you and Emma. You were so innocent and

    evening and ying with you, Travis and Emma]

    I pause reading the letter. My mind confused. None of what he said was making any sense. If he used

    to like being around me when Winnie was still alive, then what the hell changed?

    Looking down at the piece of paper, I continue reading.

    [I don¡¯t know what happened. I don¡¯t know why I turned out to be such a monster to you, but when

    Winnie died and she asked us to take you in, something just shifted inside me. Inside all of us.

    I am not using this as an excuse because nothing can make how we treated you right. It was

    downright disgusting and uncalled for.

    I know that this is my punishment. Karma is really a vengeful bitch. I am getting exactly what I deserve

    for how I treated you my darling Ava.

    Before I leave this world, I want to tell you how sorry I am. For everything I did to you. It will never

    be enough to make up for what I did and said, but it¡¯s all I have. I¡¯m so sorry for being a fool. Sorry

    for being the worst father. Sorry for being the monster in your fairytale,

    I won¡¯t ask for forgiveness because I don¡¯t deserve it. What I deserve is to burn in the pits of hell.

    All I ask is that you be there for your mother. She¡¯ll need you. She has a good heart and once she

    realizes her mistakes towards you, she¡¯ll break.

    Always remember that I love you. I may not have showed it to you, but I do.

    Goodbye my darling sweet girl.]

    I fold the paper and shove it back in my bag feeling angry for some reason.

    I don¡¯t know why the letter affected me so much when mother¡¯s tears didn¡¯t. May be it¡¯s because

    this was thest thing he wrote before died. Correct that, he wrote it while dying.

    I stand up abruptly and leave for my bedroom. I push every thought away.

    I don¡¯t want to think about them. I don¡¯t want to think about the pain they caused me. I just don¡¯t

    want to think about anything. I block them because I know that if I allow them to run rampant in

    my head, then I would drown.

    I can¡¯t afford to be weak right now. It would cost me more than I¡¯m willing to bargain. I had already

    reached my breaking point. I wasn¡¯t going to risk going back to the darkness that almost imed

    my soul.

    I get on my bed and lie down Refusing to let the tears flow. I¡¯ve cried enough for these people. I

    wasn¡¯t going to waste my tears on people that didn¡¯t deserve anything from me.

    Soon tiredness catches up to me. The fatigue, both emotional and physical weighs me down and I fall

    into a dreamless sleep.

    When I wake up it¡¯s around eleven o¡¯clock.

    Shit! I scramble from my bed, falling down in the process. I was supposed to pick Noah up at nine since

    Rowan had to fly out for a business meeting.

    I scramble to take a shower and get ready. Doing it in less than ten minutes. Once I¡¯m done I rush

    down the stairs, praying I don¡¯t trip and break my neck in the process.

    I stop in my tracks when I notice Rowan and Noah in the kitchen having breakfast. He was wearing a

    suit and was making pancakes. It was so weird given I¡¯ve never seen him cook.

    ¡°Mommy, you¡¯re finally awake¡± Noah screams with his mouth full. ¡°I wanted to wake you up, but dad

    told me to let you sleep¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s going on here?¡± I ask in confusion.

    ¡°I¡¯m making breakfast. Take a seat and eat something. I want to finish these before I leave¡± Rowan

    replies while flipping the pancakes.

    ¡°Aren¡¯t you alreadyte for your meeting? You should have woken me up¡±

    ¡°Fuck the meeting. You looked like you needed the sleep, so I let you sleep¡± he says as if it were that

    simple.

    He was so out of character that I don¡¯t know what to think. This was a side of him I didn¡¯t know existed.

    I don¡¯t want to see it because I don¡¯t want to think of him as the good guy. I don¡¯t want to see this caring

    and kind version of him because I wasn¡¯t ready to forgive him for the pain he

    caused me.

    I ce some eggs and toast on my te almost robotically. Still not sure what the hell had gotten into

    him.

    ¡°When is your next doctor¡¯s appointment?¡± he asks me out of the blue.

    I look up and stare into his eyes. Trying to figure out what kind of game he was trying to y.

    ¡°Next Friday. Why?¡± I narrow my eyes into slits,pletely suspicious

    ¡°Nothing. I just wanted to know¡±

    He turns off the stove once thest pancake is cooked and turns.

    ¡°I have to leave.¡± He checks his watch before looking up again.

    Moving around the kitchen ind, hees and bends down giving Noah a kiss to the cheek. He

    turns to me and I hold my breath as I see the indecision in his eyes.

    I still and pray that he walks away. I didn¡¯t want him near me. His presence was already

    suffocating me, making it hard for me to breathe.

    ¡°I¡¯ll see you two when I get back¡± he says and I breathe a sigh of relief when he backs away.

    ¡°Okay dad. Remember to bring me a present¡± Noah tells him and I just nod my head instead of

    answering.

    He gives me onest look. Like he¡¯s debating on telling me something, but thinks otherwise. His

    face shuts down. The cold and indifferent Rowan I was used to, now back in ce. Turning around

    without another word, he stomps out and leaves.

    I continue staring at the ce he was. Still trying to figure out what was wrong with him. Why

    the hell was he behaving as if he actually cared about me?

    Laughing humorlessly, I push a piece of pancake in my mouth. Rowan didn¡¯t care about me. He

    was just ying along for the sake of Noah. He was keeping up pretense. Just like we always do.

    That was it. There was nothing more to it, right?

 Chapter 67

    New Grandparents

    ¡°Mommy where are we going?¡± Noah asks me as I lock our house.

    I hadn¡¯t nned on this little trip, but I knew it was something that I needed to do. Nora and Theo have

    been calling me for days. They wanted a rtionship with me, but instead I kept keeping them at arm¡¯s

    length.

    I decided that I was going to give them a chance. After all, how was I supposed to know if they truly

    loved me if I just kept pushing them away? And besides, I needed more good people in my

    life.

    ¡°I want you to meet some people¡± I reply, taking his hand in mine as I lead him towards my car.

    As we were walking towards the car, my eyes gets caught by the moving vehicle that was parked a few

    meters down from my house.

    ¡°Looks like someone is moving in¡± I tell Noah. ¡°We¡¯re going to have a new neighbor.¡±

    The house has been empty for months. It was simr in structure to mine with the only

    difference being it looked a bit bigger. 2

    ¡°Man, I hope they have a kid my age¡± Noah says in excitement. ¡°Don¡¯t get me wrong mom. I love

    this ce, but it¡¯s full of old people¡±

    I chuckle at that. When I picked this ce, I didn¡¯t realize we would be surrounded by elderly

    people who were all up in your business. I chose this ce because of the tranquility and the big

    yard. The other two kids in thismunity were like fifteen house down from us.

    ¡°Well baby, let¡¯s hope so¡± I say as I help him get in the car and buckle up.

    I get in and start the car. I was nervous and we weren¡¯t even half way to where we were going. I

    was so used to getting hurt that I was skeptical and doubtful about anyone who wanted to get

    close to me.

    Pushing the nervousness away, I try to focus on driving.

    ¡°So, who are we going to see?¡± Noah breaks the silence bouncing in his seat.

    One thing about Noah is that he doesn¡¯t like being kept in suspense. A character that is just like

    his father. He prefers knowing things in advance and doesn¡¯t like anything that surprises him

    which is a weird character for a kid.

    ¡°You¡¯ll just have to wait and see¡± I smile at him. ¡°They are people I currently met and they¡¯ve been

    dying to meet you¡±

    His brows pull together in a frown. Right now he reminds me so much of Rowan. Noah was an exact

    replica of his dad. It showed in the way he looked and behaved.

    ¡°Can¡¯t you just tell me? You know I don¡¯t like surprises¡± he grumbles

    See what I told you? He doesn¡¯t like not knowing.

    ¡°I promise this is going to be a good surprise¡± I assure him.

    He was going to be so happy when he realizes he¡¯s getting two additional grandparents. Mainly

    because he knows it will mean more gifts and love for himself. As much as he is looking forward

    to having a sibling, he can¡¯t hide that he loves being the only grandchild.

    ¡°Mommy, is dad going to marry your sister Emma?¡± Noah asks after a while.

    My breath stills at his question.

    ¡°Probably¡± I mumbled.

    Even though I feel the familiar pain. It isn¡¯t as earth shattering as it used to be. I epted it long

    time ago. Rowan wasn¡¯t mine. He never was. He always belonged to Emma mind body and soul.

    Right now they may have hit a rough patch because of her lies, but they will get back together

    eventually.

    Their love has spanned over a decade. It¡¯s impossible for them not fix what¡¯s broken. Sooner or

    ¡°I don¡¯t want that¡­I don¡¯t want a stepmother¡± he says in a small voice.

    It breaks my heart to hear him so sad, but there is nothing I can do about it. Rowan and I were

    wrong from the beginning. We shouldn¡¯t have gotten married and I will always regret that I didn¡¯t

    fight harder when he said we should marry.

    Life would have been easier if I had. Instead we got married and pretended we loved each other in

    front of Noah. Now he was having a hard time epting someone else as Rowan¡¯s possible wife.

    ¡°Noah¡­¡±

    ¡°I want you and dad together. You were happy together, you loved each other. Why can¡¯t you go

    back to that?¡± he asks sullenly

    How do I tell him that nothing he was saying was real? That Rowan and I weren¡¯t happy together.

    That we weren¡¯t in love and that we yed a part for his sake. How do I tell him that Rowan had

    always been in love with Emma? That my obsession with him led to them breaking up.

    ¡°Right now you¡¯re too young to understand, but when you¡¯re older I¡¯ll exin things, then you¡¯ll

    understand why your father and I can¡¯t be together¡±

    It pained me to see the sadness in his eyes, but in this case, I have to break his little heart. There

    was nothing between Rowan and I. There never was and there will never be. Our ship went up in

    mes before it even got a chance to sail.

    ¡°I¡¯m not giving up mommy. I told you, I want you and dad together and I always get what I want¡±

    Determination was etched in his voice as he said the words.

    I sigh. ¡°Not this time my love¡±

    Silence falls upon us as we drive. Soon enough, we get to the upscale neighborhood that my

    parents were currently residing in.

    I pull up to the electronic gates. After imputing the passcode on the small touch screen located on

    the side, the gates open. Theo had given me the passcode in case I ever wanted toe visit them.

    We drive along the small road that was lined with trees. It was about a five minute drive before

    you got to the huge beautiful house.

    ¡°Wow, this is awesome. It¡¯s even more impressive than grandma and grandpa¡¯s house¡± Noah says

    referring to Rowan¡¯s parents¡® house. 1

    I grin. He was going to be surprised when I tell him that this was also his grandparent¡¯s house.

    I park the car in front of the manicured garden. After switching it off, we get out. I take his hand

    and slowly start walking towards the house.

    Noah¡¯s eyes darted everywhere. His eyes taking in as much as he can. Excitement and awe was

    written all over his face.

    Before I can ring the doorbell, the door opens and a butler greets us.

    ¡°Wee madam and young sir¡± he says politely, his hands behind his back. ¡°If you follow me, I¡¯ll

    take you to them. They¡¯re waiting for you.

    We follow him silently. The inside of the house was just as impressive as the outside. Everything

    We find Nora and Theo seated in the living room. The moment she sees us, Nors stands up and

    rushes towards us. Pulling me into a hug before doing the same with Noah, who freezes in shock

    ¡°Let the boy go Nora darling. You¡¯re probably suffocating the boy¡± Theo says in an amused voice

    ¡°So sorry Noah¡± she says to Noah before turning to me. ¡°I just never thought that you¡¯de or

    give us a chance. I¡¯m so happy that you¡¯re here,¡±

    Before I can say anything, Noah cuts in. As always he¡¯s direct. Cutting straight to the point.

    ¡°Excuse me Mrs. But who are you?¡± he asks, his grey eyes piercing both Nora and Theo

    Nora seems off bnce for a bit, but Theo looks proud at Noah¡¯s directness,

    ¡°Noah, I want you to meet my parents, your grandparents, Nora and Theo Howell¡± I watch him

    closely. Looking at how he will react to the news.

    ¡°I¡¯m confused¡± he says with a frown on his face. ¡°Aren¡¯t Ma and Pa your parents?¡±

    ¡°Not my biological parents. I was adopted by them. You know what adoption means right? I ask

    as I kneel in front of him.

    He nods ¡°Yes, it¡¯s when a mother and father take in a baby that isn¡¯t their own and raises them¡±

    ¡°Exactly¡±

    ¡°But where were they? Why did they let Ma and Pa adopt you? Didn¡¯t they want you?¡± he pauses

    his face going hard. ¡°If they didn¡¯t want you then I don¡¯t want anything to do with them¡±

    My heart swells with so much love for my baby boy. That he was willing to reject anyone that

    didn¡¯t want me meant everything to me.

    Nora kneels down beside us and takes Noah into her arms. ¡°We did want your mom. We just

    thought she had died when she was a baby. We didn¡¯t know that someone had stolen her from the

    hospital and lied to us¡±

    I watch as Noah tries to process what he was being told. He turns to me. Silently asking if what

    Books Chapters Are Daily Updated Join & Stay Updated For All Books Updates¡­

    she said was true. I nod my head and the frown clears from his face.

    ¡°What about Ma? Won¡¯t she be sad losing you? And will I have to stop seeing her?¡± he asks.

    I will never get in the way of their rtionship. Mother never really gave a damn about me, but

    nothing to do with her, I won¡¯t stand in the way of her rtionship with Noah.

    ¡°She¡¯ll always be your Ma, Noah. Nothing has to change that. Think about it, you¡¯re a very lucky boy.

    Having five grandparents is like hitting the grandparents jackpot¡± I smile at him

    ¡°We want to be in her life and your life if she gives us a chance, that¡¯s all we ask¡± Theo says kneeling

    down beside us.

    I look at Noah waiting for his answer. He¡¯s silent for a while before he smiles. The moment he

    does, I know he has given his approval.

    I stare at my found parents. ¡°I would like that. We would like having you in our lives¡±

    Their eyes fill with tears and they pull us into the arms. I feel their love wash over us.

    Things were falling into ce and I wanted to believe that they will only get better from here on,

    but experience has taught me that the other shoe drops when you least expect it.

    I was happy right now, but deep down I just knew that this rollercoaster that was now my life was

    far from over.

 Chapter 68

    Uncharacteristic behavior

    I tap my feet nervously as I wait for my name to be called. I was currently sitting in the clinic¡¯s waiting

    room waiting for my appointment.

    To say I was nervous was an understatement because I was internally panicking.

    This all felt like De ja vu. My second pregnancy and here I was going to my appointments alone. The

    only difference is that Ethan isn¡¯t able to be present while with Rowan he just didn¡¯t bothering.

    I tried so hard to ignore the fact that I was pregnant until a couple of days ago when I noticed that my

    waistline was increasing. My baby bump was starting to show and soon everyone will know that I¡¯m

    pregnant.

    I sigh tiredly and make a mental note to tell my parents. I haven¡¯t had the heart to disclose that I

    was expecting Ethan¡¯s child. Mainly because he was still their son. It will be really weird for them

    knowing that their biological daughter is pregnant by their adopted son.

    The whole thing was messed up to say the least, but there¡¯s nothing I can do about it. What¡¯s done

    is done. This baby was here whether I liked it or not. There was no going around that little fact.

    ¡°I can feel your nervousness all the way to my fucking bones, Ava¡± his deep voice brings me back

    to the present.

    I turn my head so quickly that I get a kink. I wince as I stare at him in shock. His grey eyes

    piercing mine. He looked as handsome as ever with the only difference being that his face looked

    rxed.

    ¡°Rowan? What are you doing here?¡± I ask him, slowly blinking to make sure that I wasn¡¯t

    hallucinating his presence.

    He shrugs his shoulder and smiles. I continue staring at him in shock. I think this is the first time

    he has ever smiled when he was in my presence. This was probably the first smile that was

    directed at me.

    ¡°I¡¯m here to support you. I didn¡¯t want you to be alone during your appointment¡± he simply says.

    Something was definitely wrong with him. Why the hell did it feel like a damn scam?

    I get close to him and feel if he has a fever. Maybe he was sick and that what was causing this

    ¡°What are you doing?¡± he asks frowning.

    ¡°I¡¯m checking if you have a fever¡±

    He looked okay and he didn¡¯t have a fever so why the hell was here? What was going on in his

    Before I can figure out what the hell had gotten into him, my name is called.

    He grabs my hand and gently pull me to my feet. He then leads me towards the room where my

    appointment was going to take ce. The entire time we are walking I stare at his strong back.

    Completely astonished.

    We get to the room and find Dr Raven waiting for us.

    ¡°Good to see you Ava, are you ready to see how you little munchkin is doing?¡± she asks and as

    always she¡¯s in a jovial mood.

    I nod my head. Still in a daze.

    ¡°I¡¯m assuming he¡¯s the father?¡± she enquires throwing nces at Rowan.

    ¡°No! He¡¯s just here to offer some support.¡± I rush quickly to say when I see Rowan start to open his

    mouth. He frowns at me and tightens his grip on my hand.

    What in the world was wrong with this man? And why the hell did he look pissed off.

    ¡°Okay then¡± Dr. Raven drags the words. ¡°You know the drill, get on the bed and pull your top up¡±

    Rowan helps me up and I do what I was instructed. I shift ufortably as Rowan¡¯s eyes locks on my

    exposed belly. It is so weird given that thest time he saw me naked was probablyst year.

    Before I can think more into, Dr. Raven squirts the cold liquid on my belly and begins to move the

    wand around.

    ¡°Hmm¡± she murmurs, her face focused on the screen.

    ¡°Is something wrong?¡± Rowan beats me to the question.

    ¡°Everything is fine. The heartbeat is strong and the baby is growing as expected¡± she answers before

    turning towards me. ¡°Do you want to know the gender?¡± she asks.

    ¡°No¡± I say just as Rowans says ¡°Yes¡±

    ¡°Since you¡¯re not the father, I will have to ignore your answer in favor of that of Ava, unless you

    want to know the gender, Ava¡±

    I shake my head. ¡°No, I want it to be a surprise just like with Noah¡±

    ¡°My mouth is sealed then. I¡¯m just going to print out the picture for you¡± she says as she switches

    off the machine and stands up.

    ¡°Can you print a set of two?¡± I ask, remembering I had promised to send Ethan updates.

    ¡°Sure¡±

    She hands me a tissue and I clean up the mess before pulling my top down. When I¡¯m done, I look

    up and Rowan is still staring at the nk screen.

    ¡°Rowan?¡± I call him.

    He shifts his eyes to me before he stands up. We leave the room and pass by the secretary¡¯s desk.

    After getting everything I need and setting up my next appointment we leave the clinic.

    ¡°I want to take you out for lunch¡± Rowan surprises me once again.

    I look at him suspiciously ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°I want us to talk¡±

    I scan the roads. Checking if I could locate a taxi. Today I came by one because I wasn¡¯t in the

    mood to drive.

    ¡°I don¡¯t think that¡¯s a good idea. We really have nothing to talk about¡± I focus my eyes back on him.

    He runs his hands through his ck hair. Seeming a bit frustrated.

    ¡°Rowan¡­¡± I was about to let him know I was leaving, but he cuts me off. His face turning stone

    cold.

    ¡°I won¡¯t take no for an answer. It¡¯s either you get in by yourself or I carry you in¡± he says motioning

    to his car.

    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t dare¡±

    ¡°Fucking try me, Ava¡±

    1

    He starts advancing on me and I just know that he was about to enact his threat. With a humph, I

    turn around and stomp towards his car.

    He unlocks the car and I get in. I re at him when he gets in and starts the car.

    I keep quiet, not in the mood to talk. I was angry and confused with his sudden change in

    behavior. I wanted the old Rowan back. The one I was used to. This version of him was new to me

    andpletely unpredictable. I didn¡¯t like that.

    We get to a restaurant I¡¯ve never been to. He leads me inside where he gives his name and we¡¯re

    immediately shown to our table.

    ¡°What¡¯s going on with you Rowan?¡± I ask him the moment we are alone. ¡°Your behavior ofte is

    really confusing. I mean for heaven¡¯s sake. You showed up to my doctor¡¯s appointment for a baby that

    isn¡¯t even yours when you never came to any of my appointments when I was pregnant with

    Noah¡±

    He doesn¡¯t say anything. Just continues staring at me stonily. Reminding me of the

    used to. Cold, indifferent and detached.

    ersion I was

    ¡°You never wanted me anywhere around you before and now all of a sudden you¡¯re everywhere.

    Don¡¯t get me wrong, I¡¯m thankful you pulled me back during my darkest time, but can we just go

    back to how things were? Can you please go back to treating me like I don¡¯t exist?¡± I plead with

    him.

    I don¡¯t want any more changes in my life. More importantly I don¡¯t want trouble with Emma. They didn¡¯t

    want me in their lives before and then all of a sudden everyone wants to be part of it?

    I want a life away from them. Away from anything or anyone that reminds of my pain and

    suffering. I just wanted to be left alone. I want to heal and I can¡¯t do that while I¡¯m still around the

    people who caused that pain in the first ce.

    You can¡¯t heal in the same ce you got hurt.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡± he says after a while. It was so low that I thought I had imagined it. ¡°I was so angry at you. I

    didn¡¯t want to acknowledge the part I yed that night. I fucking let you take the me and then

    continued to punish you for something that wasn¡¯t entirely your fucking fault¡±

    He managed to shock me once again. He was just full of surprises today, wasn¡¯t he? Rowan wasn¡¯t the

    kind of man to apologize so the fact that he was is a miracle.

    The more he spoke the more he got angry. I just wasn¡¯t sure who his anger was directed at.

    ¡°I treated so horribly when you were just trying to make the best of a shitty situation. You were eighteen

    and scared, yet I let you go to all those doctor¡¯s appointment alone. You¡¯ll never know how much I¡¯ll

    regret that.¡± He takes a deep breath

    ¡°Why now? Why are you apologizing now when everything has already been said and done? You¡¯ve

    got to know that this won¡¯t change a thing. The damage has already been done. The best we can do is

    be civil towards each other¡± I whisper.

    What has gotten into everyone? When I wanted all of them to be apologize, none was willing to. Now

    when I¡¯m ready to put them in my past where they all belong is when everyone is all of a sudden

    apologizing for hurting me.

    ¡°I¡¯m so fucking sorry for the role I yed in hurting and destroying you. I¡¯m not a man who ever makes

    mistakes, but I admit that I made the biggest fucking one in how I treated you¡± (4)

    I hear what he was saying, but it just wasn¡¯t registering. How was I supposed to forgive him? How was I

    supposed to forget everything he put me through?¡± 3

    I keep quiet as I stare at the table. I didn¡¯t have anything else to say because I just didn¡¯t know if I could

    ever forgive him.

 Chapter 69

    More questions

    We didn¡¯t talk after that. Lunch was downright awkward as we both ate silently. My mind was

    reeling from his apology. I don¡¯t know what he was expecting from me, but I sure hope it was not

    forgiveness. Not now at least.

    After finishing our lunch he took me back home. The drive was also quiet. Both of us lost in our

    own thoughts. I just didn¡¯t know how to take him in. Didn¡¯t know what to do with this new version

    of him. It was all so new and strange to say the least.

    ¡°Thank you¡± I tell him once we reach my home. ¡°For being with me at the appointment and for the

    lunch¡± 1

    ¡°It was no problem¡± he tries to smile but it doesn¡¯t reach his eyes.

    I nod and begin to get out. He stops me by grabbing my ha

    ¡°I want you to let me know anytime you have appointments¡± he tells me, his eyes staring deep

    into mine. 1

    I stare at him once again, unable to understand what the hell was going on in his damn mind.

    ¡°Why the hell would I do that?¡± I ask in confusion, pulling my hand from his.

    His touch was suddenly too much. It felt like it was burning.

    ¡°Because I want to be there for you¡± he simply replies.

    ¡°And again I ask you, why? You weren¡¯t there during when I was pregnant with Noah, but now you

    want to attend appointments for a baby that isn¡¯t yours? Do you know how crazy that looks?

    He was confusing me. I didn¡¯t like to be confused. I didn¡¯t like to be unsure. I didn¡¯t like that he

    was behaving out of character.

    Besides, I didn¡¯t want any trouble with Emma. That would surelye if she ever finds out that

    Rowan ising to my appointments.

    ¡°I just want to be there, is that so hard for you to believe?¡±

    ¡°As a matter of fact, yes. Let¡¯s be honest, Rowan. You¡¯ve never cared much for me.¡± I sigh. ¡°That¡¯s

    actually an understatement because you downright hated me so of course this sudden show of

    concern is unbelievable¡±

    He doesn¡¯t say anything for a while. Just continues staring at me in that intense way. When he

    continues to do it, I start fidgeting. Feeling ufortable with his piercing eyes directed at me.

    ¡°Just let me know because either way, I¡¯ll find out and I¡¯ll show up just like today¡± he finally speaks

    ¡°Have you thought how this will impact your rtionship with Emma and how she would feel?¡±

    Sure I was using Emma as a defence, but right now she was my best chance at making him see

    reason.

    ¡°Emma doesn¡¯t fucking matter right now¡± he growls, his eyes turning cold.

    I stare at him with my mouth hanging open. This was definitely a first. Never in my wildest dreams did I

    think I would ever hear him saying that Emma didn¡¯t matter.

    ¡°What the hell has gotten into you?¡± I ask him, puzzled. ¡°Do you hear yourself? How can you say she

    doesn¡¯t matter when you¡¯ve been in love with her all your life?¡±

    The surprise punches just kepting. I didn¡¯t even have time to take them all in. Every word out of his

    mouth was trying to rewrite the reality I was used to.

    I see him clench his jaw. His nose ring at the reminder of his more than a decade long love for

    Emma.

    ¡°Drop it¡± he all but snarls at me.

    I guess Emma was still a touchy subject. It didn¡¯t faze me though. I knew sooner orter they would be

    back together. Emma isn¡¯t one to give up on what she wants and Rowan has never been

    able to resist her or stay mad at her for long.

    Feeling like I¡¯ve said all I need to say, I push the car door open and get out. I walk around the car

    towards my house.

    His voice stops me, making me turn.

    ¡°Remember what I said, Ava. I will be at all your appointments, whether you tell me the dates or

    not¡±

    With that, he fires his car and leaves. I stare for a while before turning back around.

    He was being forceful and it was starting to get on my damn mind. Why couldn¡¯t he just go back to

    how he was?

    I was almost to my door when the sight of a man catches my attention He was watering the grass.

    He suddenly turns as if feeling my eyes on him. Our gaze collide and I hold my breath. I guess he was

    our new neighbor.

    He is hot, but that¡¯s not what draws me in. It¡¯s the fact that he looked really familiar. I just couldn¡¯t ce

    where I had seen him before,

    Shaking myself from those thoughts, I give him a small smile and walk into my house.

    ¡°Mommy, you¡¯re home¡± Noah screams the moment I walk in.

    Since my appointment was in the afternoon, I had asked his nanny to pick him up from school. She

    wasn¡¯t a live in nanny. She only came on those days I was held up with one thing or another.

    ¡°Yes, how was school?¡± I ask as I set down my bag.

    ¡°Fun. I scored everything in my math test¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s good. My baby boy is a math genius¡± I tease him, making him blush.

    ¡°Mom¡± he drags the word. ¡°Please stop¡±

    ¡°What? It¡¯s true and I am so proud of you¡±

    He gives me a mischievous smile and I just know he got me right where he wanted me.

    ¡°Can I y video games then since I¡¯m a math genius?¡±

    I just knew it. He has been battering me up.

    I sigh. ¡°Fine, but only for an hour¡±

    He rushes up the stairs screaming thank you over and over again making me smile in the process.

    ¡°Hey, Maria. You¡¯re free to leave¡± I tell our nanny as I walk into the kitchen.

    ¡°Are you sure?¡±

    ¡°Yes. Now go¡±

    She smiles at me before taking her things. Fifteen minutester she¡¯s gone and I wish I hadn¡¯t

    insisted on her to leaving.

    With Noah in his room. I was alone. I had nothing to upy my mind and so my thoughts started

    I was just contemting starting dinner early when my front door opened.

    ¡°Yoohoo. Ava where are you?¡±

    Letty voice brings a smile to my face.

    ¡°In the kitchen¡± I shout back.

    Minutester, she walks into the room and I am surprised to see Corrine following behind her.

    ¡°Look who I found. We got here at the same time¡± Letty says sitting at the kitchen ind.

    I¡¯d told Letty how Corrine stood up for me against Anita. She has immediately liked her, reasoning that

    anyone who stood up for me was worth her respect:

    ¡°What are you doing here?¡± I ask Corrine.

    ¡°Well, you gave me an inch at the restaurant and I thought to myself, she¡¯s ready. I¡¯ve always wanted to

    be your friend, so here I am.¡±

    There was this part of me that was sceptical. It wanted to shut her off. Instead I push it back. It was

    time I stopped pushing people away.

    ¡°Well, wee to my humble home¡±

    She smiles and I smile back at her. Genuinely happy that she was here.

    ¡°I came for an entirely different reason. Have you seen the gossip column? It was posted like an hour

    ago¡± Letty asks.

    ¡°No. Why?¡±

    She hands me a phone and I read the caption. With each word I read, my mood sours.

    [Billionaire Rowan Woods seen going on a lunch date with ex¨Cwife, Ava Sharp months after their

    divorce and weeks after rumours of him dating her elder sister, Emma Sharp]

    Below was a picture of Rowan escorting me to the restaurant with his hand on my lower back.

    ¡°Shit¡± I curse. ¡°This is going to cause unnecessary drama¡±

    Emma was going to shit a brick. I wasn¡¯t afraid of her, but I just didn¡¯t want trouble. The image

    portrayed a certain intimacy that wasn¡¯t truly there. Anyone looking at it was going to think that

    ¡°Is there something going on that I¡¯m unaware of?¡± Letty asks as Corrine just stares between the

    two of us.

    ¡°Nothing. He unexpectedly showed up at my appointment and then asked me if we could talk over

    lunch¡± after that I recount everything that happened. Including his apology.

    When I am done, I am even more confused than I was before. Things were just not making sense no

    matter which angle I tried looking at it from.

    ¡°What if he is genuinely sorry?¡± Letty asks.

    That is a question I kept asking myself since he apologized. I kept pushing it to the back of my mind

    because I was just not strong enough to deal with it right now.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡± I sigh in defeat. ¡°Forgiveness is something that has to be earned and so far he has done

    nothing to earn it. All he has managed to do is leave me with confusion and more unanswered

    questions¡±

    3

    Honestly, how can I move past everything? He has spent thest nine years drilling into me that he

    hates my fucking guts and now all of a sudden he¡¯s sorry?

    His quick three hundred and sixty degree turn just doesn¡¯t seem genuine. There is no way someone

    can change that fast.

    ¡°What do you think Corrine?¡± Letty asks her since she had been too quiet.

    ¡°I think these are the actions of a man who doesn¡¯t know he¡¯s in love¡±

    At that I burst outughing. ¡°That¡¯s a good one Corrine. Rowan doesn¡¯t love me¡±

    I meane on, he said as much on that day he came bulging into my house, avenging his lovely

    Emma.

    ¡°Think about it though¡± she insists.

    ¡°She may be onto something. I mean why would he all of a sudden start caring for you? It doesn¡¯t make

    sense unless he already cared for you but never realized. And again why does he suddenly want to be

    around you now that you¡¯re divorced? Corrine may be right. He may have been in love with you long

    before and it took losing you for those feelings toe to the surface¡±

    I didn¡¯t want to listen to their nonsense. So instead of answering their questions, I change the

    Everything after that is perfect. I have a great time with both of them. Knowing very well that now

    Corrine was part of our inner circle.

    Even though everything was great, I couldn¡¯t help thinking of what they said.

    that

    Rowan can¡¯t possibly be in love with me. They had to be wrong because Rowan has only ever loved

    one woman and her name is Emma Sharp.¡±

 Chapter 70

    A kindred Spirit

    Today was a chilled day. I didn¡¯t have much to do. Noah was already at school, and I was here at

    home just rxing.

    After my mental breakdown, I decided to take some much needed break from work. My students

    weren¡¯t happy about it, but they understood that I hadn¡¯t been myself thest couple of weeks.

    I nned to resume after I give birth. My focus now was my kids and the Hope Foundation.

    I¡¯m still trying toe to terms with all that happened these past few weeks. Including

    everyone¡¯s change in behaviour.

    The only one who seemed to be consistent with her hateful personality was Emma. The rest seem

    to have had an overnight change of heart.

    Instead of focusing on those thoughts. I push them away and pick up my phone and dial mom¡¯s

    number. She picks up on the first ring.

    ¡°Hey mom¡± I greet her. I wasn¡¯tpletely used to calling her that, but I was slowly getting there.

    ¡°Ava!¡± She screams through the phone, always excited to hear from me. ¡°Theo, my love, our

    darling daughter is on the phone¡°.

    I hear shuffling before a sort of echo fills the phone. I just know that she¡¯s put me on loudspeaker.

    ¡°Hey dad¡± I greet him too.

    Their love honestly fascinated me. They were together since they were thirteen and they¡¯re still

    together years down the line. More than thirty¨Cfive yearster.

    If I was still chasing after love, then their kind of love is what I would have been looking for.

    Instead, I¡¯ve epted that love is just not for me. I¡¯m now set and prepared to spend the rest of my

    life alone.

    ¡°Hey darling, how are you doing?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m doing good. Not much going on. I just wanted to check up on you guys¡°.

    I still haven¡¯t told them that I am pregnant.

    Even though I¡¯m starting to show, it¡¯s easy for me to hide my bump with oversized t¨Cshirts. I just

    I know deep down it hurts them even though they try hiding it.

    As for Ethan. What he¡¯s doing to them is wrong, but I also understand where he ising from.

    He feels ashamed. He feels like he doesn¡¯t deserve their love after what he did. He was hiding from

    them because he felt like he didn¡¯t deserve their kindness.

    I sent him the picture of my recent ultrasound. He wrote back and told me he was thankful. He couldn¡¯t

    stop saying how he was dying to meet his baby. He was also okay with waiting till the day I deliver to

    know the gender of our baby.

    ¡°Ava?¡± Mom calls, pulling me back to the present.

    ¡°Sorry. I zoned out a bit¡± I murmur embarrassed.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay darling. I just wanted to know if you¡¯ll being this weekend like we had talked about

    ¡°Yes, though Noah won¡¯t be joining us this time. It¡¯s his weekend with his father so it¡¯ll just be me and

    you guys¡°.

    The Woods and the Sharp family used to have a monthly get together. I wasn¡¯t always invited. (2)

    When I did get an invitation which was rare, I was treated like I didn¡¯t exist. Like I didn¡¯t matter. I was

    completely ignored and was treated like a pariah.

    The only one who used to talk to me during the gatherings was Noah. Most of the time, I ended up

    leaving early or crying in the bathroom.

    There hasn¡¯t been a get together in months. I guess now that the parents are back, they were back to

    having them.

    ¡°It¡¯s a bummer that he won¡¯te but I am still happy that you¡¯ll make it¡± dad says.

    I was about to say something, but something takes my focus away. I hear a bark then a scratch. At

    first, I think I¡¯m imagining things since there aren¡¯t any dogs in the area. That is until I hear it

    again.

    ¡°Let me call you guys back, dad, I have to check on something¡± I tell him distractedly.

    ¡°Okay honey¡±

    I hang up and move to where the sound seemed to being from. Going to the backyard I find a

    There was nothing left except a whole mess.

    I stare in shock. My mouth hanging wide open.

    ¡°Do you know how long it took me to nt those, and you just ruined every single one¡± I fume.

    He looks chastised. Laying on the ground, giving me puppy eyes, but I wasn¡¯t going to buy it.

    ¡°I wanted organic food, that¡¯s why I started the damn garden in the first ce and let me tell you, it took

    a lot of time and effort.¡± He whines, but I am too far gone to listen to him.

    ¡°Oh no, no, no. You¡¯re not going to get out of this by shing your cute, adorable eyes.¡± Shaking my

    head I stare at him. Atleast I assume it¡¯s a he. ¡°How are you going to make up for the damage, huh?¡±

    The more I stare at him, the more my heart begins to melt. He is big, fluffy andpletely adorable. He

    had thick ck and white far and piercing grey eyes. For some weird reason they reminded me of

    Rowan and Noah¡¯s grey eyes.

    ¡°Never in my life have I seen a person¡¯s heart melt so fast when ites to my dog. Most people

    usually find him annoying as hell¡± the warm voice makes me whip my head so fast, I almost break it in

    the process.

    Holy smokes. The man was hot this close up. ck hair, green eyes, high cheekbones, a chiselled jaw

    line, lips that begged to be kissed and a body that enticed you to do dirty things. He was

    freaking hot and he knew it. 4

    I know what you¡¯re thinking. ¡®Slow down Ava, you got fooled once by great looks, don¡¯t make the

    same mistake again¡®. 3

    I wasn¡¯t. I swore off love and men, but that doesn¡¯t mean that I can¡¯t appreciate a fine specimen

    when I see one. I¡¯m not blind. 3

    ¡°Have we met before?¡± The words tumble out of my mouth before I can stop them. ¡°It¡¯s just that

    you look familiar¡°.

    He stares for a while before answering. ¡°Yes, we used to go to the same school, you were two years

    behind me¡±.

    I try to remember him, but it still doesn¡¯t ring much of a bell. Probably because I was so obsessed

    with Rowan that I didn¡¯t see anyone else.

    ¡°Calvin Garcia¡± he supplies when I still continue staring at him confused

    The moment he mentions his name, it hits me.

    ¡°Oh my goodness, you¡¯re Nerdy Cal¡± for some weird reason, I shriek this.

    He groans at the name he used to go by when he was in school. He res at me, but it doesn¡¯t faze

    me at all.

    ¡°Wow, you had a big fucking glow up¡± I stare at him dumbfounded.

    The Cal I remember was skinny, with too wide sses that kept slipping down his nose. He had braces

    and his face used to be covered in big red pimples.

    He was also a

    nerd, spent most of his time studying in the library while others his age were busy fucking in the

    janitor¡¯s closet.

    To simply put it, he wasn¡¯t someone you would look at twice. (1)

    He looked good now. Really good. I am d that everything worked out for him. He changed into

    someone any woman would die to have. He was now in the same category as Rowan.

    ¡°Yeah, well, thanks¡± he says awkwardly.

    ¡°I also remember you used to have a massive crush on Emma, how did that crush turn out for you?¡± I

    teased. I wasn¡¯t trying to be mean or anything. 2

    When he wasn¡¯t studying, just like all the other boys, he was busy following Emma around like a lost

    puppy.

    The only problem was that Emma had eyes for Rowan only. When they started dating, they were the it

    couple.

    Every boy except Gabe and Travis wanted to be in Rowan¡¯s shows. Every girl wanted to be in

    Emma¡¯s shoes.

    ¡°And you loved Rowan, how did that turn out for you?¡± He fired back in irritation.

    ¡°Touch¨¦¡± I murmur.

    The pain was still there, but I managed to push it away.

    I didn¡¯t know Cal that way, but I thanked God on his behalf. Thanked him for looking after Cal,

    Emma¡¯s love for Rowan would have destroyed him, just like Rowan¡¯s love for Emma destroyed me.

    ¡°Dad, can I watch TV?¡± The sweet voice pulls me from my bitter memories,

    I turn to find a cute boy standing behind Cal. He had the same captivating green eyes as his father.

    ¡°Hi, my name is Ava¡± I just couldn¡¯t help myself.

    ¡°Hello¡± he says shyly, and my heart immediately falls in love with him.

    ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡± I ask him gently.

    ¡°Gunner¡± (2

    ¡°I have a son about your age, his name is Noah. How about youe over and meet him when he

    gets out of school? He¡¯ll be excited to have a new friend.¡± I pause before adding. ¡°If it¡¯s okay with your

    dad, that is¡°. 4

    I see him looking up at Cal. A silent conversation passes between them, before Cal sighs in defeat.

    ¡°Fine¡± he simply says.

    I stare at him. My eyes focused on his. I was trying to decode him, and I wasn¡¯t ashamed of that. There

    was something in his eyes that called out to me.

    He shifts ufortably. ¡°Well I¡¯m sorry that Rex ruined your garden. I¡¯ll get someone toe

    tomorrow and fix it¡°.

    So the husky was called Rex? It sort of fitted him.

    ¡°Rex¡± Cal called him, and he immediately went to his owner.

    After he gives me a nod and Gunner gives me a smile, they leave my backyard through a very wide

    opening that I have never noticed before.

    I stare at their backs as they walk to their house. It¡¯s only after they¡¯ve left, and I¡¯ve been standing there

    like an idiot that I realize what I saw in his eyes.

    I saw pain. I saw hurt. I saw a wounded soul.

    In his eyes, I saw the same kind of darkness that I have been trying to run away for years without much

    sess.

    In him, I saw a kindred spirit.

    Even as all these revtions flooded my mind, I couldn¡¯t help but wonder what had caused him such

    pain.

 Chapter 71

    Making a promise

    ¡°Noah, are you done with your homework?¡± I call, but I don¡¯t get an answer.

    It was Friday afternoon and I was dead tired on my feet. I had forgotten when you¡¯re pregnant how

    easily you get tired. Every single thing tired me out.

    The only thing I¡¯m grateful for is that I never experienced morning sickness unlike when I was

    pregnant with Noah. 1

    ¡°Noah?¡± I call him again.

    I wonder what the hell he is doing. I usually get an answer immediately. Unless something has

    caught his attention and distracted him.

    Before I can carry my tired body to go upstairs to check on him, my doorbell rings.

    I release a heavy sigh. It¡¯s not that I didn¡¯t want to see anybody, I just wanted to take a break.

    Maybe have a long bath.

    I spent the whole day at the Hope Foundation going through tons of documents that needed my

    attention. My eyes were dry, My mind was burnt out and my body was aching all over.

    Dragging myself, I open my door and I am surprised to find Calvin and Gunner at my doorstep. It¡¯s

    been two days since that day in my backyard.

    When Gunner didn¡¯t show up when Noah got back from school, I assumed that maybe Calvin

    didn¡¯t want anything to do with us. After all, he was really grumpy during our whole encounter.

    ¡°Hi¡± shock was clearly in my voice and I couldn¡¯t hide it.

    ¡°Hi Miss Ava¡± Gunner tells me sweetly with a smile. ¡°These are for you¡±

    It¡¯s then that I notice he has a bouquet of flowers. Pink roses to be exact. He hands them to me and

    I take them gratefully.

    ¡°Thank you Gunner. These are beautiful¡± Without thinking, I bend down and kiss his cheeks.

    When I straighten, he gives me a shy smile. Just like with Noah, I could already tell that Gunner

    was a sweet boy.

    I shift my eyes to his father, ¡°Would you like toe in?¡±

    He looks hesitant at first, but when Gunner pulls his hand, he agrees.

    I lead them straight to the kitchen where I had been baking cookies and cupcakes. Noah had

    requested for them and though I was tired, I couldn¡¯t refuse him.

    ¡°You¡¯re just in time to eat some goodness¡± I tell them as the oven timer pings.

    I look for a vase and ce the beautiful flowers Gunner brought me.

    ¡°Noah¡± I call again as I ce some cookies in front of our guests.

    ¡°I¡¯ming mommy¡± he shouts back.

    I hear his bedroom door close. Then his footsteps as he runs down the hallway and then the stairs.

    Secondster, he breaks through the kitchen door. Hees to a stop when he sees that we have

    visitors.

    NCH TH

    ¡°Come, my love. I want you to meet someone¡± he hesitantly takes a step until he¡¯s standing next to

    me.

    W

    Noah is a bit shy at first nce. That is before you get to know him better. When he sheds his

    shyness, you won¡¯t even believe that he¡¯s the same boy. He¡¯ll talk your ear off.

    ¡°Noah, this here is Gunner. He lives next door and Gunner, this is my son Noah. He¡¯s the one I was

    telling you about¡±

    If I¡¯m being honest, I thought things will be awkward between them at first, but I am wrong.

    Gunner smiles ¡°Hi¡±

    ¡°Wanna y in my room?¡± Noah asks at the same time.

    ¡°Sure¡±

    With that, Noah grabs a bunch of cookies and hands them to Gunner. Then he goes to the pantry

    and get a couple of juice boxes.

    ¡°Come on, I¡¯ve got a new game to show you¡± Noah says as they walk off.

    I was super surprised by his actions. I thought it would take a bit of pushing to get him to warm

    up to Gunner. I guess I didn¡¯t need to.

    ¡°Well that went well. I¡¯m surprised Gunner made the first move. He¡¯s usually really reserved¡±

    I face him. I hadpletely forgotten that he was even there.

    ¡°Noah is like that too at first. He has to getfortable with someone first¡±

    ¡°Really? Then he¡¯s much better off. When I say that Gunner is reserved I mean, he likes his own

    company. He doesn¡¯t like making friends or meeting new people. Even in school, he keeps to

    himself¡±

    ¡°Seriously?¡± I ask shocked.

    ¡°Seriously. At this point I think Rex and I are his only friends¡±

    I frown at that. I wasn¡¯t a child psychologist but I was a teacher. Even I knew that that wasn¡¯t typical

    behaviour for a child his age.

    For a child to be that withdraw, then there is probably a problem. I know it doesn¡¯t lie with Calvin.

    You just have to take one look at them to know they adore each other.

    Something else was wrong. If Gunner is as withdrawn as Cal says, then something¡¯s made him.

    that way.

    ¡°Hopefully Noah can get him out of his shell¡± I mumble, handing him a cupcake.

    I round the ind. Taking one of the barstools, I exhale in relief that I was off my feet. I dig into

    one of the cupcake. My mindpletely empty.

    ¡°I wanted to apologize¡± Calvin says after a while.

    ¡°For what?¡±

    ¡°Coming off as rude the other day.¡±

    Waving my hands dismissively, I face him. ¡°In your defence, I was being too extra, so don¡¯t worry

    about it¡±

    Talking about that day reminds me of the pain I saw in his eyes. Right now he has done a good job

    of trying to hide it.

    Others may assume he¡¯s okay, but I can tell he is not. I recognize the struggle in his soul because I

    usually go through the same thing.

    It¡¯s easy for someone who¡¯s been hurt to see the pain others are trying to hide. Especially if it¡¯s the

    ¡°So what do you do for a living?¡± He asks, probably trying to make small talk.

    ¡°I¡¯m a teacher, but I¡¯m on leave for the next few months¡±

    I had thought about going back, but I decided against it. Even though I was bored being home

    alone, I knew I needed this time to myself. Not only because of the pregnancy, but also because of

    my mental state. O

    ¡°So you got together with Rowan? Noah is his doppelg?nger. It¡¯s so uncanny¡±

    At that I snort. ¡°Everyone in this damn city knows what happened with Rowan. I didn¡¯t get with

    him. It was a drunk night gone wrong¡±

    I sometimes curse that night when I think of how my life would have been different if it wasn¡¯t for

    my obsession. Then I remember that if it wasn¡¯t for that night, then I wouldn¡¯t have Noah. In the

    end I¡¯m left wishing it didn¡¯t happen, but thankful because I got someone precious from it.

    ¡°What happened?¡± Cal asks curiously.

    I clump up. Feeling myself start to sweat. ¡°That¡¯s a story for another day. Right now I don¡¯t want to

    relieve it¡±

    I haven¡¯t heard from Rowan since the day he showed up at my appointment which was three days

    ago.

    I also haven¡¯t gotten any surprise visits from Emma demanding I stay away from her man. I think

    Rowan is probably too busy trying to do damage control with Emma and for that I am grateful.

    I didn¡¯t want him around me because when he is, he confuses things. His recent behavior is

    messing with my head and I¡¯m tired of trying to figure him out.

    ¡°What about you? Where¡¯s your wife¡± he was the same age as Emma so I assume he¡¯s married.

    ¡°I don¡¯t have a wife¡±

    ¡°Okay¡­where¡¯s Gunner¡¯s mom?¡±

    I see pure undted pain sh in his eyes. The kind of pain that isn¡¯t yours, but you still feel it all

    the way to your soul. My heart aches for him, because I know how such pain can be consuming.

    ¡°S¨Cshe¡¯s not in the picture¡± he stammers in a broken voice. A voice filled with pain and a bit of

    anger.

    Fuck. I feel the need tofort him, but I am not sure it will be weed.

    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry to hear that¡± I whisper feeling terrible for asking because I drenched up his pain.

    I can¡¯t imagine losing a spouse. I can¡¯t imagine living the life you imagined alone knowing the love of

    your life isn¡¯t there with you. O

    Calvin looks like the kind of man who loves deeply. If you love deeply then the loss is also just as deep.

    The loss bes all consuming.

    Now I know where his pain originates from. He wasn¡¯t hurt by someone. He lost someone he deeply

    loves, 1

    He breathes out. Trying to once again bury his pain. ¡°It¡¯s okay. She hasn¡¯t been in the picture for a

    while and I¡¯m slowly learning to live with it¡± 2

    I grab his hand and squeeze. Giving him thefort he clearly needs.

    Changing the subject into something lighter, I ask him if he would help me nt my garden again

    since he didn¡¯t send anyone to fix what Rex destroyed.

    After talking to him, I realize why Gunner is withdrawn. Losing a parent at such a young age isn¡¯t

    easy and some children never recover from it.

    I didn¡¯t know them well, but right there and then I promise myself that I will be there for them. I

    was going to help them. 15

    We all need happiness and joy in our lives and from the looks of it, Calvin and Gunner haven¡¯t had

    it in a long time.

 Chapter 72

    Dead love

    Rowan

    Today we were having our monthly get together. The Woods and the Sharps have made this a

    tradition since I was about five years old.

    Our families have always been close. Mainly because our mother¡¯s have been best of friends since

    they were little girls.

    It made logical sense that their children would end up being best friends too and that both

    families would be close.

    ¡°Dad, why are you driving so slow? You¡¯re going to make us miss grandpa¡¯s barbecue stake¡± Noah

    If it wasn¡¯t for Noah, I wouldn¡¯t even have gone. I used to love them. Especially when I knew that

    Ava wasn¡¯t going to be around. When I knew that she wasn¡¯t invited.

    I used to think it was the only ce I could escape her. That being in a room where everyone

    except Noah hated her guts was the best ce to be.

    Now though, it doesn¡¯t fucking feel like that anymore. Instead I hate myself and the rest for the

    pain we have put her through.

    ¡°I¡¯m going as fast as I can¡°I answer him.

    ¡°No, you¡¯re not. You¡¯re driving slower than a ny year old grandma!¡± He huffs in annoyance.

    Did I just get fried by an eight year old boy? I shake my head and chuckle before increasing the

    speed just a little bit.

    The moment silence reigns in the car, my mind immediately goes to Ava.

    She looked fucking radiant when she opened the door for me.

    To me she looked like a damn fertility goddess in a white flowing dress, long curled thick hair, her

    small baby bump and her beautiful wless skin.

    I was shocked by my reaction when I wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms and lock

    ourselves in her bedroom for hours.

    This reaction to her is something that has never happened before and it took me by surprise.

    I haven¡¯t been able to think about anything or anyone except for her. She¡¯s stuck on my mind and

    nothing I do distracts me from thoughts of her.

    It fucking scares me how obsessed I am with her. It¡¯s not once or twice that I found myself

    wondering what she¡¯s up to. Whether she¡¯s eaten or not. Or whether she¡¯s getting enough sleep. I

    keep wondering if I should hire someone to help her around the house.

    Those thoughts shake me to my core. I¡¯ve never been one to take on more when ites to Ava.

    Now, the need to take care of her is almost consuming and it¡¯s wrecking havoc inside me.

    ¡°Dad?¡± Noah calls.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°We are here¡±

    I had not realized that we were already parked outside my parent¡¯s house. I don¡¯t know how we

    fucking got here. I was so lost in my mind that I had been driving mindlessly.

    I know how fucking dangerous that is. Especially when I have Noah in the car with me, but I just

    can¡¯t help myself. Thoughts of Ava keep consuming me.

    ¡°Come on, I¡¯m sure your grandpa has saved some stake for you¡± I say just so I can push the

    awkward atmosphere away. 3

    ¡°Are you okay dad?¡± He asks instead of getting out of the car.

    I didn¡¯t like that I was worrying him. I also couldn¡¯t tell him my current problem was in the form

    of his beautiful mother.

    ¡°Yes. I just have a lot on my mind, but it¡¯s nothing to worry about¡±

    He nods his head and unbuckles his seatbelt. We get out at the same time.

    Locking the car, we walk towards the house. The door opens before we can get to it.

    ¡°Ma!¡± Noah shouts before running to her.

    ¡°I¡¯ve missed you my Noah¡±

    She bends down and catches him as his body collides with hers.

    It has always been obvious that Kate and James love Noah despite what happened with Ava

    Everyone loves Noah, we just didn¡¯t love Ava because of the sin we thought she hadmitted

    against me and Emma,

    ¡°Where¡¯s your mom? I sent her an invite¡± She asks, straightening and looking behind us.

    ¡°Oh, she¡¯s noting,¡± Noah informs her. ¡°She went to visit grandma Nora and grandpa Theo. She

    was excited. We didn¡¯t get to see themst week because they were on a business trip¡±

    Noah doesn¡¯t seem to notice, but I do.

    I see the moment Kate¡¯s face falls. The moment pain shes in her eyes. This has to be painful for her

    knowing that Ava was building a rtionship with her biological parents and that no matter what she

    tries, she will never have a close rtionship with Ava.

    She had burned her bridges. Hurt Ava too much for her to forgive and ept her. Ava wanted nothing

    to do with the Sharps or the Woods.

    The reason I was even still in her life was because I was Noah¡¯s dad and also because I was being

    forceful. Otherwise, she would have tossed me in the cold like she has done with the rest.

    ¡°Maybe next time then¡± Kate gives him a sad smile.

    She was on the brink of tears. About to lose it. Noah didn¡¯t know the drama that was going on. I

    couldn¡¯t let him see his grandma breakdown in front of him. He will start to question things and

    once he finds out the truth of how Ava has been treated, he will blow.

    Noah was loyal to his mom above anyone else. If he finds out how cruel we¡¯ve been to Ava, we will

    instantly be considered his enemies and he will cut us off.

    ¡°Let¡¯s go¡­I¡¯m sure the rest are waiting for us¡± I walk towards them and gently push them inside

    the house.

    Kate excuses herself and goes to the bathroom while Noah and I move to the backyard.

    I internally groan when I realize everyone has shown up. Noah runs ahead leaving me back.

    He greets everyone except Emma. He doesn¡¯t even spare her a fucking nce. He doesn¡¯t like her

    and he isn¡¯t afraid of showing it.

    ¡°So d you¡¯re finally here son¡± my dad ps me on the back.

    He knows it irritates me when he does that, but he still does it.

    ¡°Yes¡± I mumbled already wanting this whole thing to be over and done with.

    ¡°You sure sound excited being around family¡± Gabe says sarcastically.

    I re at him. He doesn¡¯t even flinch. Maybe it¡¯s because he is my twin, but he is the only one who

    doesn¡¯t cower at my re.

    ¡°Come on, Rowan. Give me a hug¡± mom says smiling at me. ¡°I¡¯ve missed you¡±

    I wrap one hand around her waist and hug her to me. ¡°Missed you too¡±

    We separate just as Katees back. Her eyes red and face blotchy. 1

    Noah was already at the table with a te chatting with Trevor. 4

    He had invited Letty, but she declined. She didn¡¯t want to be around people who hurt Ava.

    Her friendship and loyalty to Ava was causing waves in their rtionship. Trevor was so fucking

    afraid of losing her since he was among those that really hurt her friend. The only things that was

    standing between him and single hood was the fact that he was remorseful. 5

    ¡°Can I talk to you, Rowan¡± Emma¡¯s voice prates my ears.

    Fuck. I had not noticed her approaching me.

    ¡°There really isn¡¯t anything to talk about¡± I say facing her.uh

    I have been avoiding her. I was still mad as hell about all the shit she said about Noah. More than

    that I just didn¡¯t want her around me. Not when all I can think about is Ava.

    I had loved the woman in front of me. Cherished her even when I was married to her sister. I was

    so fucking sure there was no one else for me except Emma.

    All I had wished was for her toe back. I had sworn that the moment she did and she epted

    to give me a chance, I would divorce Ava and make a life with her. 1

    She¡¯s been back for months. Yet I can¡¯t find the love I had for her. The love that I had thought was

    eternal. The love I had sworn no other woman would have.

    I feel like a fool. One minute I¡¯m professing my love for Emma and the next I don¡¯t want her near

    me. One minute I¡¯m sure I hate Ava with all my heart and the next, I can¡¯t stay away from her.

    4/5

    Everything about the two sister was doing my head in.

    ¡°Rowan..¡±

    ¡°What?¡± I snap feeling suffocated.

    I see tears fill her eyes, but for some reason I just don¡¯t give a damn anymore. Not like I used to

    Without giving her another look, I turn around and walk away.

    For a while I yed the what if game. What if I could finally have the woman I¡¯ve always loved? What if

    we got married and started a family? What if everything yed out the way it was supposed to years

    ago?

    Those questions rang in my mind for years and the weeks when Emma arrived. I thought that this was

    our second chance at our love, but I had been wrong. 1

    Emma and I were too different right now. We would never work and even if we did get together years

    ago there is no guarantee that we would have been end game.

    She¡¯ll always have a part of my heart as my first love, but it was time to ept the truth. My love

    for her is dead. It has probably been dead for years.

 Chapter 73

    Undiluted jealousy

    +15 BONUS

    My head was swirling with the new revtion. I always thought my love for Emma was eternal.

    Realizing that it wasn¡¯t, was doing things to my head and heart.

    I move quickly and sit down next to Noah. Now more than ever I wanted this whole thing over. I was

    desperate to get out of here. Already feeling like my skin was crawling.

    ¡°What were you talking about with Emma?¡± Noah asks the moment I sit down.

    The disdain in his voice is very clear. No one needed to be told twice that the woman I had

    nned to spend the rest of my life with was his least favorite person.

    This hate is another thing that made me put a pause on my rtionship with Emma. How could I date

    her? How could I be with her when my son clearly hates her? How could I consider a rtionship with

    her when she also doesn¡¯t seem to like Noah?¡±

    Based on the things she said about him. It¡¯s clear she resents him for either being Ava¡¯s son or being

    the reason I had to marry Ava. Maybe it was both.

    ¡°Nothing important¡± I mumbled, feeling lost in thoughts.

    We are quiet for a while until he opens his mouth again. The things he spews has be clenching my

    fists.

    ¡°I have a best friend now. Just like you and Uncle Gabe have Uncle Travis as your best friend¡± he

    begins.

    ¡°That¡¯s good¡±

    I was in no mood to chat. My mood was soured. Noah didn¡¯t seem to get the hint though. He kept

    talking.

    ¡°His name is Gunner and he is our new neighbor. They moved in about a week ago¡±

    I just nod my head distractedly. It¡¯s not that I wasn¡¯t interested in what he was saying. I just had a

    lot on my fucking mind. His mother being at the center of everything.

    ¡°You know¡± he pauses ¡°He has a really good looking dad.¡± He finishes.

    That piece of information immediately catches my attention. I turn to him and it¡¯s then I notice

    his mischievous smile.

    ¡°They¡¯ve been to our house and when Gunner and I were ying mom and Mr Calvin were downstairs

    talking and eating cupcakes. He even promised to help mommy nt her vegetable garden¡±

    What the fuck! What the hell was he talking about and who the fuck was this Calvin guy? Why would

    Ava invite a total stranger in her house knowing very well that the Reapers were still atrge?

    He continues. Smirking at me triumphantly as if he hadn¡¯t just woken up a raging beast inside me.

    ¡°He made herugh a lot. When Gunner and I came down for dinner, they were standing really close as

    he helped her set the table.¡±

    The more he talked, the more my fury rose. I clenched my teeth just to stop myself fromshing out at

    my own son. My fucking heart was pounding and I couldn¡¯t calm myself down as waves of anger

    washed over me. 2

    ¡°I was worried about what would happen to mom when you married Emma, but now with Calvin around

    you can do it. I still don¡¯t like her, but you can marry her and mom can marry Calvin. He makes her

    laugh and Gunner will be my brother, so that¡¯s a bonus.¡± 9

    I kid you not, Noah gives me an evil grin before delivering the final blow

    ¡°Maybe Gunner and I can get more siblings, we¡¯ll have to talk to them first but I¡¯m sure they¡¯ll agree¡± he

    finishes 3

    I reach the end of my limit and blow up. My eyes narrowed into slits at the audacity my son had.

    ¡°Noah!¡± I shout, banging my hand on the fucking pic table.

    Everyone turns to look at us. Confusion in their faces. They were all wondering what the hell was

    happening. This was the first time I¡¯ve ever fucking yelled at Noah

    ¡°What?¡± he ask innocently as if he hadn¡¯t just unleash a raging inferno inside me. 5

    Instead of being afraid, he stands up, throws me a cat eating grin and then walks away. Heading

    towards my mother and Kate.

    ¡°What the hell was that about?¡± Gabe asks, sitting down next to me. A few secondster, Travis

    joins us.

    I was still fuming. Unable to control the rage that was inside me at knowing there was another

    No matter what I tried. I couldn¡¯t get the fucking image of Avaughing while setting at the table with

    another man. It brought havoc. Tearing at me in a way I didn¡¯t fucking understand.

    When I was around her, she rarely smiled. Let aloneugh. If she smiled, it was cold and detached.

    The fact that someone else was making herugh was a fucking hard pill to swallow.

    ¡°Yeah, what did Noah say to make you so mad?¡± Travis jumps in looking at me curiously.

    ¡°Nothing. Just some stuff about their new neighbor being cozy in Ava¡¯s house and making herugh¡± I

    ground out, fisting my hands.

    Travis and Gabe look at each other beforeughing. I didn¡¯t care though, because my mind was in

    turmoil.

    The need to punch something or someone was there and it was fucking strong. All I could see is

    red.

    There was this primal part of me that wanted to scream that she was mine. That no other man

    should daree close to her.

    That part of me took me by surprise because I never considered her as mine. She has always just

    been Ava. The woman who destroyed my fucking life.

    ¡°It¡¯s obvious he¡¯s trying to make you jealous¡± Gabe states after theirughter dies down. ¡°It¡¯s not a

    secret that he wants you and Ava back together. He wanted to see your reaction and from how you¡¯ve

    reacted it just proves to him that you care about Ava and that you care a lot¡±

    I re at my brother. I want to deny what he just said, but I can¡¯t. If I was being honest, then I would

    admit that I was feeling jealous. Pure, undiluted jealousy.

    I want Ava to smile at me. Tough a lot around me. I want to be the one in her house helping her set

    the damn table. Heck, I want to be the one to help her nt her vegetable garden.

    The intense feeling brings my whole world to a stand still. I am Rowan Woods for fucks sake, yet I don¡¯t

    mind getting down on my knees, with my hands in the dirt to help Ava nt her garden. As long as I

    was next to her, as long as I was the only man near her, then nothing else mattered.

    I am shocked as those thoughts cross my mind. I never would have imagined wanting anything to do

    with Ava, but here I was, apletely changed man.

    ¡°Do you want Ava back?¡± Travis looks at me seriously.

    His question take me aback, but I don¡¯t have a fucking answer. How do I tell him that I was confused as

    shit? How do I tell him that I can¡¯t connect orprehend all these feelings that were running amuck in

    my heart. That the intense feelings I have for Ava now, confused the living daylights out of me?

    It just didn¡¯t make any fucking sense. Why now? Why not all those years back?

    The endless questions were giving me a headache. Worst of all, I didn¡¯t have a damn answer to any of

    them.

    I groan then stand up instead of answering. I ignore the questioning looks from my parents, the

    triumphant look from Noah and the confused look from Kate.

    I needed space to breathe. Space to sort out my head and feelings. I thought I would get it inside the

    house away from everyone, but I was wrong.

    Emma was sitting in the living room alone.

    When she sees me, she jumps on her feet and approaches me.

    ¡°Please, Rowan, talk to me. Tell me how I can fix things¡± she pleads.

    I don¡¯t like hurting her, but that¡¯s exactly what I will be doing if I continue giving her false hope. I don¡¯t

    want to lead her on. Not when I knew deep down I didn¡¯t feel the same way anymore.

    Maybe she also didn¡¯t feel the same. It¡¯s been years. I bet her feelings have changed, but just like how

    I was before. She¡¯s refusing to let go of the teenage, young love we had.

    Running my hand through my hair, I answer. ¡°You can¡¯t fix anything, Emma. I don¡¯t want to hurt you, but

    it¡¯s time for us to ept that our love ran its course¡±

    ¡°Are you telling me you don¡¯t love me? That you love Ava instead?¡± She asks, shock and heart break

    written all over her face.

    Just like I did with Travis and Gabe, instead of answering I fucking walk away.

    As the day bleeds to night, I couldn¡¯t help but ask myself the same thing.

    If I wasn¡¯t in love with Emma, does that mean I was in love with my ex¨Cwife?

 Chapter 74

    Sex toys

    Ava

    The weekend was great. Nothing much happened, but I¡¯d enjoyed spending time with mom and

    dad

    They were the kind of parents I¡¯d hoped that mother and father would be. Loving, caring and attentive.

    Instead they had been theplete opposite except when it came to Emma and Travis.

    Hell, they even treated Rowan and Gabriel better than they ever treated me even though they

    imed that I was their daughter.

    The more time I spend with Nora and Theo, the more I grow to love them. The more I ept them

    as my parents. Being around them made me understand why Ethan adored them. Why he used to

    speak with so much love when it came to them. They were the best and no one had to be told

    twice about that.

    ¡°Where the hell is she?¡± Corrine asks in annoyance, breaking my thoughts.

    ????

    We were at a cafe shop waiting for Letty, who like most of the times, iste. The woman is a

    secretary, but she has no sense of time.

    ¡°She¡¯lle. She¡¯s probably just runningte¡± I mumble around my blueberry muffin.

    My pregnancy cravings have started to kick in and it¡¯s driving me nuts. Right now all I want are

    muffins and cupcakes. I take them for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Most of the food I try to eat end

    up tasting like sawdust.

    ¡°We agreed we should all be here by two¡± she grumbles, irritation distorting her beautiful face.

    I chuckle at how pissed off she seems. ¡°You¡¯ll soon learn that Letty is rarely on time. The quicker

    you learn that, the better life will be for you¡±

    She¡¯s silently fuming and I know why. Corrine isn¡¯t someone that likes to be kept waiting. She¡¯s

    the punctual type of person. The kind that would rather be an hour early than a secondte. 2

    As she stews I continue eating my muffin. I¡¯m just so damn hungry all the freaking time.

    With Noah I could barely keep anything down. No nausea medicine worked and it wasn¡¯t until I

    was about six months into my pregnancy that things settled.

    That¡¯s why Rowan abandonment hurt me so much. There I was suffering Barely surviving because I

    couldn¡¯t keep food down and all he was doing the entire time was brooding and mooning over Emma.

    Not caring that I was losing weight and that my pregnancy was difficult

    I had to be hospitalized a couple of times because my doctor was concerned about mine and

    Noah¡¯s health

    I get he was heartbroken about losing Emma, bute one. Does that take precedence over the

    health and welfare of your unborn child?

    Pushing those thoughts away, I focus on my friend. She was tapping her foot relentlessly.

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong? I finally ack when I can¡¯t take it anymore.

    ¡°I had a business proposal for you and Letty, but since she¡¯s not here yet, I¡¯ll just have to tell you

    because it¡¯s driving me insane¡± she speaks up after a moment.

    ¡°Okay..¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s going to sound absurd and it¡¯s not really a business people of our social standing would

    consider

    The moment she says that, my interest is piqued. That she would suggest that it¡¯s not your normal

    traditional business has me curious on what idea she hase up with.

    ¡°Go on¡±

    ¡°I wanted us to open up a sex toypany¡± she delivers the news with a straight face.

    I choke on the sweetness I was eating, not sure I¡¯d heard her correctly.

    ¡°Come again?¡± I stammer

    ¡°A sex toypany¡± she repeats. ¡°Think about it. Sex toys have be increasingly popr and

    I bet you seventy percent of women have it, whether one is single or not. Even men have began

    embracing it as a way to spice things up in the bedroom*

    I stare at her, my mouth hanging wide open.

    ¡°What¡¯s got Ava shocked?¡± Letty asks, joining us.

    I didn¡¯t even hear her joining us. That¡¯s how shocked I was.

    She takes her seat and moves her gaze from me to Corrine. Trying to figure out what was going on.

    ¡°I just told Ava that the three of us should consider starting a sex toypany¡± Corrine answers

    I expected Letty to be in the same boat as me. I expected her to be shocked by the idea. She isn¡¯t

    ¡°That¡¯s a good idea¡± she screams in excitement. O

    ¡°Are both of you crazy?¡± I ask but they don¡¯t seem to be paying me any mind.

    ¡°It¡¯s a great idea. I mean, which woman doesn¡¯t have one of those pleasure bringers?¡± Corrine

    possesses the same question.

    ¡°I don¡¯t¡±

    They turn to look. With the way they look at me, you would think I¡¯ve grown a second head or

    something.

    ¡°You don¡¯t have one?¡± Letty seems surprised by this and I can¡¯t for the life of me understand why.

    ¡°No and I¡¯ve never had one¡±

    ¡°Well you¡¯re missing out on a lot¡± Corrine adds.

    I mean I once considered them, but my sex life with Rowan wasn¡¯t at a level where I could

    For Rowan it was about getting sexual relief and for me, it was about seeking a connection with

    him that wascking in other parts of our lives.

    ¡°I think we should do this. Like Corrine said, it¡¯s a profitable business. We just have to find away to

    stand out from all the other sex toy producers¡± Letty happily says.

    ¡°It¡¯s settled then, I¡¯ll draw up the proposal and email them to both of you once I¡¯ve covered

    everything¡± Corrine smiles, looking more rxed.

    ¡°Wait a damn minute, I haven¡¯t agreed to this damn idea¡±

    Letty speaks, totally ignoring me. ¡°We should do an extensive research, I suggest that since Ava hasn¡¯t

    had them before she¡¯s the one to buy all the top notch brands and try them. Her input as a total virgin

    to sex toys will help us evaluate what¡¯scking in them and how we can improve and

    make ours better¡±

    Corrine nods her head. Grinning at the idea. I could tell she was feeling really good right now I

    wasn¡¯t, given I was going to be sort of theirb rat.

    ¡°Do I have a say in all these?¡± I ask in irritation.

    ¡°Not really. We¡¯re going to make you lots of money so¡­¡± Letty leaves the sentence hanging

    ¡°You do realize I don¡¯t really need the money. I am loaded¡±

    She just shrugs her shoulders before brushing me off. ¡°Doesn¡¯t really matter, besides, weren¡¯t you

    the one that said you needed something new? A challenge? Well here it is. It will keep you busy

    without really tiring you out¡±

    I think about it for a while before sighing. I mean, how bad can things get, right?

    ¡°Fine¡± I sigh in defeat.

    They both squeal in excitement. Hugging me close to them. Squashing the breath out of me.

    Seeing them so excited made excitement rise inside me. I haven¡¯t had any in a while, maybe this

    will bring some life back into my soul.

    ¡°Now that we have that out of the way, I have something to ask you, Ava¡± Letty says as we break

    from each.

    I look at her in question before nodding my head. ¡°Go ahead¡±

    ¡°Who is Calvin?¡±

    I¡¯m surprised at her question because I haven¡¯t told them anything about Calvin. Besides, after that day

    I haven¡¯t seen him again. Gunneres to my house almost everyday, but I haven¡¯t seen

    his dad.

    ¡°He¡¯s my new neighbor. How do you know about him?¡±

    ¡°Well, Travis told me about him¡± she pauses and I frown more confused about how Travis knows

    about Calvin.

    ¡°Apparently at the get together, Noah mentioned him. He actually did more than mention him. He told

    Rowan that Calvin made you happy and he wouldn¡¯t mind if you and him married and gave him and

    Calvin¡¯s son more siblings. Travis said that Rowan blew a casket¡± (2

    ¡°Seriously?¡± Corrine asks with wide eyes.

    ¡°Yes. Travis said he was so jealous that he almost broke the table in half at hearing that¡± Letty added

    with a grin

    Iugh. Iugh so hard that my stomach cramps.

    I couldn¡¯t believe what she was saying. It all seemed insane that Noah would try to make his father

    jealous. It was even more crazy that Rowan would be jealous.

    Do you know how absurd that is? If there was someone who wouldn¡¯t care whether I fucked the

    entire male poption it would be Rowan.

    ¡°That was a joke right?¡± I ask her after I stopughing.

    It had to be a joke. The only one Rowan has ever been jealous over was Emma. He was not jealous

    over me and he never will be.

    ¡°It isn¡¯t. Travis is even questioning Rowan¡¯s feelings when ites to you¡± Letty insists.

    ¡°Why is it hard for you to believe that Rowan was jealous?¡± Corrine asks curiously.

    ¡°Because I know him. He would never be jealous. He was probably just angry that Noah keeps trying to

    push us to get back together.¡± I tell Corrine before turning to face Letty.

    ¡°As for Travis, please assure him that there¡¯s nothing going on. When his sister came back he asked

    me not to get in the way of Rowan and Emma getting their happy ever after and so far I¡¯ve

    done exactly that¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think that¡¯s it. I think he too is probably starting to realize he might have been wrong about you

    and Rowan. I think it¡¯s starting to sink in that Rowan might have feelings for you¡± Letty whispers.

    I still remember the warning Travis gave me at the hospital after Emma arrived. He was probably

    worried that I was getting in the way and that his sister wouldn¡¯t get her happy ever after.

    ¡°The only feelings Rowan Woods ever had for me is hate. No one can convince me otherwise. What

    you¡¯re all saying is insane. You can¡¯t hate someone for nine years then all of a sudden develop

    some positive feelings for them. It¡¯s impossible¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s possible if the feelings were already developed inside him but he didn¡¯t know or acknowledge

    them¡± Corrine put in.

    I shake my head in refusal. I was starting to get annoyed by them.

    ¡°Ava

    ¡°No Letty, just drop the fucking subject. I don¡¯t want to hear about Rowan okay? Even if he magically

    developed feelings for me, which I doubt, don¡¯t you think it¡¯s already toote?¡±

    Letty doesn¡¯t answer and Corrine looks down at the table. The mood was soured and now I just wanted

    to go home and forget all about this Rowan nonsense.

    Why couldn¡¯t they just let this go? Why were they insisting on something that isn¡¯t there? They were

    insane if they believe all that bullshit. I knew Rowan and I know he has nothing but resentment for me.

    I shake my head to clear my mind. I wasn¡¯t going to dwell on what they said. My focus now was on my

    children, foundation and this absurd new business we were starting.

    Rowan was in the past and he¡¯ll remain there. I don¡¯t see that ever changing.

 Chapter 75

    I¡¯m sorry

    I watch mywyer nervously as he goes through the business proposal Corrine sent me.

    I have to hand it to her. The woman worked fast. It hasn¡¯t even been a day since we discussed the idea

    and already she had the proposal ready.

    It was either that or she had already worked on it beforehand and she was just waiting for Letty and I to

    agree.

    Staring at Rodgers, I wonder what was going on inside his head right now. He has been not only my

    lawyer but my advisor since I made my first million. I never get into a business without having his input

    first. So far he is the best and has never been wrong.

    All the businesses he told me had the potential to prosper actually did and those he warned me against

    ended up failing. So as you can see, his input is really important.

    ¡°What do you think?¡± I ask him when I can¡¯t take the nervousness anymore.

    His eyes scan the document one more time before he lifts his head.

    ¡°It¡¯s a great idea. I can see its potential¡± he answers.

    I¡¯ve worked with the man long enough to know that there was a ¡®but¡® in there. With the way he paused,

    it was clear that he had concerns, but he didn¡¯t know how to let me know.

    ¡°What is it?¡± I prompt, wanting him to speak up before my heart bursts in anxiety.

    He stares at me carefully. As if he was trying to gather his thoughts and organize them before

    speaking.

    The more he continued to stare at me without speaking, the more anxious I got.

    ¡°Spit it out, Rodger¡¯s¡±

    ¡°I just feel like this isn¡¯t really a traditional idea¡± he finally says.

    ¡°I know it¡¯s not¡±

    ¡°Plus there is the other aspect.¡± He pauses before continuing. ¡°Have you thought about how this will

    affect the foundation aspect of your life¡±

    I frown at that. He sees my unhappiness and rushes to correct himself.

    ¡°I¡¯m not saying it¡¯s a bad idea. It¡¯s actually really good and has the potential to be a huge

    company. All I¡¯m saying is that as the founder of Hope foundation you have an image to uphold. Now

    that people know your identity, they associate you with the kids you help. Most people would probably

    stop donating if they find out you¡¯re part owner of a sex toypany¡±

    My eyes drop to my desk.

    Since I had extra rooms in the house, I had decided to turn one of them into a home office given I was

    going to spend the majority of my time home until after I gave birth.

    I stew on it for a while before realizing that what he said is right. I was the face of a children¡¯s

    organization, so, for me to be in that line of business, it will be viewed as going against what is morally

    eptable when dealing with kids.

    I sigh in defeat, I was against the idea at first, but I got excited about itter on. It seemed like fun to

    start such apany with friends.

    ¡°You¡¯re right. A lot of the social elites would probably stop donations once word gets out¡±

    He nods his head and then we are quiet for a moment.

    I was deep in thought. Thinking of how I was going to let Corrine and Letty down easily. I know they

    would be disappointed but I¡¯m sure they¡¯d understand where I wasing from. After all,

    that¡¯s what friends do.

    ¡°This is a big opportunity and I don¡¯t want you to lose it.¡± He starts, pulling me from my thoughts.¡±

    Would you friends be open to having you as a silent partner?¡±

    Slowly, my excitement starts growing. I can see in which direction he is heading towards. In some

    of the business I helped with capital, I was a silent investor. I had shares and I was consulted in major

    decision making, but most people didn¡¯t know I was a partner. Usually, only the CEO and the board

    knew of my identity.

    ¡°That could work. I¡¯ll have to talk to them, though I¡¯m sure they won¡¯t have a problem with it.¡± I

    tell him, smiling. Feeling my mood lift.

    ¡°It¡¯s settled then¡± he says standing up. ¡°Talk to them and then let me know so I can draft up the

    required documents¡±

    ¡°Okay. And thanks once again Rodger¡¯s for your help¡±

    ¡°No problem. After all, you do pay me a hefty amount to make sure I sort out your worries¡± he says

    ¡°I¡¯ll see you, Ava¡±

    ¡°See you too, Rodger¡¯s¡±

    He leaves after that and I immediately pick up my phone. I was going to talk to Letty first, then

    Corrine.

    She picks after the first ring.

    ¡°¡°Letty, I¡¯ve got¡­¡± she cuts me off before I can finish my sentence.

    ¡°I¡¯m really sorry Ava. I¡¯ve wanted to apologize, I just didn¡¯t know where to start¡±

    Her voice is so remorseful and so sad. It makes me want to soothe her by taking away what was

    worrying her.

    ¡°What are you talking about, Letty? What are you sorry about?¡±

    I stare at the wall opposite me in confusion. As far as I can tell, we haven¡¯t gotten into an

    argument. She hasn¡¯t done anything that would warrant me forgiving her.

    ¡°For pushing. I keep pushing the issue about Rowan not realizing how much it is hurting you. I

    just want you to be happy and a part of me thinks Rowan is your happiness. You¡¯ve loved him so

    long that it¡¯s hard to believe that all of it is gone.¡±

    ¡°Letty¡­¡± She was on a rant so she doesn¡¯t give me a chance to speak.

    ¡°I want you to have a chance to be happy. You told me that you used to want Rowan to have

    feelings for you, but now that it seems he has, you don¡¯t believe it and you¡¯re against it. I just don¡¯t

    get it¡±

    I sigh. This again?

    I was getting tired of hearing them speak about Rowan and his so¨Ccalled feelings. It grated on my

    mind every time they did. Rowan didn¡¯t factor in my life and neither did his feelings. He could

    take them and shove them up his stuck up ass for all I cared.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to exin it this once and then I never want to hear about this ever again¡± I breathe

    before continuing.

    ¡°I loved Rowan and a part of me will probably forever will. Sure, you can¡¯t get over that kind of love

    but it can be slowly killed by actions from the one you love. Rowan hurt me in so many ways that

    love I had became too painful for me, so in order to preserve the little pieces of myself I had, I

    buried it so deep that it could never be dug up again¡±

    I feel my heart hurt when I speak of the love I had for Rowan. Like I said, it was probably still

    there, but it was buried under years of his cruelty. The pain he inflictedter became heavier than

    the love I felt.

    He never lifted a hand against me, but sometimes I wish he had. Physical wounds were easier to

    heal unlike the mental one and those inflicted on the heart and soul.

    ¡°Rowan hurt me in a way I would never wish on my worst enemy. Burying that love was the only

    way I could survive the hurricane that was him.¡±

    I hear her sobbing. It hurts me, but I have to make her understand.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Ava. I didn¡¯t mean to drench up such painful memories¡±

    ¡°I know, Letty and I know you want me to be happy, but Rowan isn¡¯t the key. If we were never

    happy in the nine years we were married, what makes you think we¡¯ll be happy together now?¡±

    Like I keep telling Letty, I doubt Rowan has any feelings for me except hate, and even if he

    miraculously developed some, too much has already happened for us to move past it.

    ¡°I¡¯m really sorry. I promise never to mention it again¡±

    I exhale in relief.

    K

    ¡°Thank you, and besides, did you forget I swore off men? Love isn¡¯t for me. Looking at the men I¡¯ve

    been with, history has taught me I have horrible taste when ites to them¡± I chuckle.

    She lets out a smallugh. She had a field day the day I announced I was done with men.

    ¡°Yeah I remember. I guess the business idea came at the perfect time. Free sex toys for you¡± this

    time herugh is more robust and I¡¯m d I was able to draw her from the mncholy feelings

    she had.

    ¡°Speaking of which¡­¡±

    I proceed to tell her everything we discussed with thewyer. Exining to her why I had to be a

    silent partner instead. Just like I had predicted, she epts the idea.

    ¡°Ipletely understand. I see no problem with it and I¡¯m sure that Corrine will understand too¡±

    Til speak to herter¡±

    ¡°Which reminds me, did you buy from the list we sent you like we asked you too?¡± She asks after

    some time.

    ¡°I was nning to go after the meeting with mywyer¡±

    ¡°Well you better get your butt up and go¡­ your feedback is very important¡± she pauses and I hear

    someone talking to her before she gets back on the phone. ¡°I have to go, there¡¯s an impromptu

    meeting and I¡¯m needed¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s okay. Have a great day and take care¡±

    ¡°You too and remember to let me know once you¡¯ve gotten the toys¡±

    After that we hung up.

    I finish doing my chores, take a shower, get ready then I leave. Heading straight to the mall. It

    doesn¡¯t take me long to get there.

    After parking my car, I head inside. I was a nervous wreck. I was excited but at the same time I

    felt like I was doing something wrong. Like everyone will judge me and find mecking by

    entering a sex toy shop, let alone buying from it. 1

    I follow the directions to where Corrine told me her favorite shop is located. I breathe a sigh of

    relief when I realize that it in a somehow hidden location.

    I pause when I get to it. Still unsure of what exactly I had let my friends talk me into. It was as I

    was seriously debating whether to enter or not, when I heard his unmistakable deep voice.

    ¡°Ava?¡±

    Ah fuck! What the hell was he doing here?

 Chapter 76

    Mirror, mirror on the wall¡­

    1 swivel around. Shocked to see Rowan standing behind me.

    Could this day get any worse? I ask myself, groaning internally.

    ¡°Rowan?¡± I shriek, caught off guard. ¡°What the hell are you doing here?¡±

    Of all the times I had to bump into him, why now when I was standing in front of a sex toy shop?

    This had to be the most embarrassing thing I¡¯ve ever experienced.

    ¡°I could ask you the same thing?¡± He says looking behind me.

    I feel my cheeks redden, because I know nothing I say will get me out of the situation. I was standing in

    front of the shop and its windows disyed a variety of sex toys. It was hard to shrug off what kind of

    store this was.

    I look back at the store before facing him nervously. I don¡¯t know why I was nervous, but I was.

    ¡°I¡¯m here to shop for maternity clothings and buy some things for the baby,¡± I lie.

    He looks at me. His left eyebrow raised. ¡°In a sex shop? I don¡¯t think you¡¯ll find what you¡¯re looking

    for here, unless you have other things in mind¡±

    The tilt of his mouth lets me know that he was teasing me, which was apletely new concept

    to me.

    Instead of answering him, I start walking in the other direction. I expected him to at least leave

    me alone, but he doesn¡¯t. Instead he falls in step with me.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t take you for a woman who would use sex toys¡± he says, making me halt in my steps.

    What the hell was wrong with him. Why the hell was he even bringing this up? Didn¡¯t he get the memo

    that I wanted nothing to do with him? That I didn¡¯t want him near me. It was the reason

    why I walked away in the first ce.

    ¡°First of all, you don¡¯t know the type of woman I am. You never did, mainly because you thought I was

    beneath you or something and second of all, what¡¯s wrong with using dildos and vibrators to

    pleasure myself? I am a human being with needs, and they have to be fulfilled one way or another.

    Now leave me the hell alone¡±

    1 see an inferno light up in his eyes, but I don¡¯t dwell on it. Not giving him a chance to speak, I start

    walking again. This time I quicken my steps.

    The man infuriated me and at times like this, I want nothing more than to p the daylights out gets

    worse when I remember all the shit he put me through, all because he was ¡®in love¡® with Emma. Note

    the sarcasm.

    of him

    I was now fuming. I would like to me the pregnancy hormones, but I couldn¡¯t put all the me

    on them.

    ¡°Ava?¡±

    ¡°What?¡°stopping, I snap, now realizing that he was striding next to me.

    He was looking at me with his head tipped to the side. Almost like I was a puzzle he was trying to figure

    out.

    ¡°Here¡¯s a mom and baby shop¡± he says pointing at the store that was a few feet from us.

    I know I had lied about why I was here, but seeing the store made me realize that I was indeed in need

    of maternity clothes. Plus I had yet to buy anything for the baby.

    I stomp my feet grudgingly as I walk toward the store. I stop just as I cross the threshold and put

    my arms out.

    ¡°What the hell are you doing?¡± I ask him when I realize that he was about to walk inside with me.

    ¡°Isn¡¯t it obvious? I am here to help you shop¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t ask nor do I need your help, so turn your ass around and go back to where you came from¡±

    I had reached my limit with him being so pushy about things that no longer concerned him.

    Where was he when I needed him? Now that I don¡¯t, he thinks he can force himself in my life? It¡¯s

    not going to happen. 2

    Instead of backing off, he gets into my face,so much so that there is barely any space between us.

    ¡°I¡¯m staying and I¡¯m going to watch as you try every fucking piece of cloth, Ava. You better get it inside

    your head because I¡¯m not leaving until you buy what you need¡±

    My mouth falls open at his audacity. How dare he? Who the hell did he think he was? He wasn¡¯t

    even the baby¡¯s father for fucks sake!

    Before i can get a chance to give him a piece of my mind, someone interrupts our stare down. You

    could literally cut the tension with a damn knife

    ¡°Hi, how can I help you two?¡± the sweet voice says behind us

    ¡°My wife is looking for some clothes for herself and the baby Rowan answers before I can, leaving me

    completely shocked on

    What the actual hell? Wife! I wasn¡¯t his fucking wife anymore. Why the hell would he tell her that? I

    swear Rowan haspletely lost it. He has gone ahead and joined the loony train. That was the only

    exnation why he was behaving in such a way. 2

    The store attendant smiles and motions for us. ¡°Follow me. My name is Wendy and we¡¯ve just received

    beautiful exclusive pieces that I¡¯m sure your wife will like¡±

    Before I can correct her for her mistake. Rowan grabs my hand and gently drags me into the store.

    Following behind Wendy like a damn puppy.

    She sits us on one of the sofas then leaves. I turn and re at Rowan. Completely pissed off.

    ¡°What the hell was that back there? I fume, feeling my anger reach dangerous peaks.

    He looks at mezily, before casually answering me with another question.

    ¡°What was what?

    ¡°Don¡¯t y dumb with me! Why the hell did you call me your wife, have you forgotten we¡¯re divorced?

    Or that you¡¯re now dating Emma?¡±

    ¡°Here are the pieces¡± Wendy says walking towards us with a stack of clothes.

    What was with her and interrupting me. I was now mad at the poor soul because Rowan had

    pissed me off. (2)

    ¡°How about we start with this one?¡± She asks, holding a beautiful maxi dress up for me.

    If it wasn¡¯t for the fact that I was seething, I would have appreciated how beautiful the dress

    actually was.

    ¡°Go, try it on¡± Rowan says seemingly unaffected by the suffocating tension in the room.

    Grabbing the dress, I stomp to the direction of the changing rooms. He had another thinging

    if he thought that I was going to model for him. He could rot in hell for all I cared.

    Taking out my clothes, I put on the dress. The moment I look at myself in the mirror, all my anger just

    sort of fades away. 1 looked damn beautiful. The dress did wonders for my figure and my growing baby

    bump I immediately decide to take it.

    After that I call Wendy. She hands me the next piece of cloth. It was a sundress and looked really nice.

    Just like with the maxi dress, this one also looked really good on me. I loved their exclusive pieces.

    They were gorgeous and just perfect for expectant mothers.

    It was as I was about to try on a pair of jeans, that the door opened. His presence immediately alerted

    me that it wasn¡¯t Wendy in the room with me.

    I stood frozen, my eyes connecting with his through the mirror. He was holding a blue top while I stood

    in nothing but my bra and panties.

    ¡°What the hell, Rowan!¡± I whisper¨Cyelled turning to face him while trying to hide my ass and bulging

    boob which literally spilled out of my bra.

    Which reminded me, I needed maternity bras too.

    He doesn¡¯t say anything. His eyes slowly peruse my body. It almost felt like a gentle caress and it

    made me ufortable.

    Taking one of the long dresses, I use it as some sort of shield. Hiding my partial nakedness.

    He drops the top and starts to move towards me as if he was in a sort of trance. 2

    Before I have the chance to do anything, he cages me between his body and the mirror. My breath

    startsing out rapidly as I start to panic. I never thought that I would find myself in such a

    position with Rowan.

    He lifts his hand. His finger caressing my lips, my neck before falling on my cleavage.

    ¡°They¡¯re bigger than I remember¡± he says gruffly, his voice filled with something I don¡¯t want to

    acknowledge. 1

    ¡°Step away Rowan,¡± I murmur.

    Instead of doing what I asked, his hand continues its descent downward. He pushes the dress aside

    and ces his hand on my baby bump.

    My breath still and his picks up.

    His eyes stare at mine, and that¡¯s when I see it. I wanted to be wrong. I thought I was wrong, but I

    never saw directed at me. I saw nothing but burning desire.

    I¡¯mpletely frozen by what I¡¯ve seen. Unable to believe it. Unable to understand it. I remain

    frozen in shock as his head descends.

    Before he can get too close, I push him away. Unable to take in what was happening or the desire

    that had coated the room.

    My shove seems to have woken him up from his trance. He shakes his head as if trying to get rid

    of the fog. I was breathing hard, confused as fuck about what had happened.

    ¡°Ava¡± he says almost on a plea.

    ¡°Not another fucking word¡± I snarl at him.

    I quickly put my clothes on before fleeing the room. I really loved the clothes, but I will be

    damned if I had to spend another minute in Rowan¡¯s presence.

    Within minutes, I¡¯m outside the mall. Getting into my car, I drive off. My mind was a mess as I

    tried to figure out what the hell was wrong with Rowan and why the hell he did what he did.

    Rowan has never looked at me with desire, so why the hell did it look like he wanted nothing

    more than to take me against that mirror? 3

 Chapter 77

    Bane of my existence.

    Rowan

    Fuck!! watch as Ava flees from the shop. I want to follow her, but I know that I¡¯ve messed up big

    time.

    I saw the panic in her eyes, but it was like I was in a trance. My mind shut downpletely when

    I saw her almost naked body.

    I didn¡¯t realize that I had moved or that I had cornered her. It wasn¡¯t until she pushed me away

    that I realized what I was about to do.

    She was my wife for fucks sake, but she has never affected me on this level. I¡¯ve seen her naked

    countless times yet this time it was different. I couldn¡¯t fucking exin it, but it was. It was like I

    was seeing her for the first time.

    Our sex life was good, but I had always held back. I still loved Emma back then and every time I

    sough intimacy from Ava, I felt like I was betraying Emma. 5

    It was the hardest at the beginning of our marriage. I drowned in guilt each time I touched Ava.

    Always drinking myself stupid after we were done. After, I learnt to ignore the guilt. Learned to

    push it back so my body can get what it needs. (2

    Even though I didn¡¯t love, Ava, I couldn¡¯t cheat. After watching my parents, I took marriage and my

    vows seriously. I had countless of opportunities, but I couldn¡¯t have tr

    to do it even if

    I run my hand through my hair. Grabbing the strands in frustration. The intensity at which I¡¯d

    wanted Ava a few minutes ago almost brought me to my knees.

    I couldn¡¯t get the image of her sexy little body out of my fucking mind. Or the image I had of

    moving her panties to the side and sinking inside her warm heat.

    I hadn¡¯t even seen her whole body yet I was fucking hard. Harder than I¡¯ve ever been my entire

    fucking life. The whole thing just confused me and scared the crap out of me.

    Cursing again, I leave the room. The need to escape filling my bones. I was not only trying to

    escape the memories, but also the need that had taken every inch of my body. 1

    I usually don¡¯t shop in malls. I have everything custom made by an exclusive designer. Mom had

    I never expected to see Ava. I saw her just as I was about to pull off the parking lot. She looked

    nervous and shifty, so I decided to follow her, because I was curious on what would make her that

    nervous.

    Part of me wishes I hadn¡¯t because now I¡¯m fucking sure she¡¯ll want to distance herself even more.

    Getting into my car, I drive off. Heading towards my parent¡¯s house.

    I was wound up so tight that it was barely hard to breathe. Everything inside me was coiled and I

    still couldn¡¯t get the damn image of Ava out of my mind.

    I get to the house in record time. Picking up the toy, I head on inside. I was going to hand it over,

    then I was going to my club to get myself a fucking drink.

    ¡°You¡¯re finally here, did you get it?¡± mom asks looking up from the sofa she was sitting on.

    I just nod my head. Gritting my mrs against the frustration I was currently feeling.

    As always, a mother knows when something is right. When her child is struggling.

    ¡°Is something wrong?¡± she asks frowning.

    I¡¯m not a heart to heart man but for a fucking moment I think of talking to her. I stop myself

    though because how can I?

    How can I tell her that the woman we¡¯ve spent almost a decade hating, now has me all tied up in

    knots? That she¡¯s all I think about almost every second of the day.

    How can I tell her that if Ava hadn¡¯t pushed me away, I would have probably fucked her in the

    changing room? That it wouldn¡¯t have been enough and I would have taken her back to my home

    and started all over again?

    ¡°Is this about the article?¡± her question pulls me from my daydreaming.

    ¡°What article?¡±

    She straightens and picks her phone from the table. She scrolls through it, taps on something and

    then hands it to me. I take a seat as I look at the article that was published about an hour ago.

    [Rowan Wood caught on camera with ex¨Cwife Ava Sharp while entering a mom and baby shop.

    Could the divorced couple be expecting their second child? Stay tuned as we gather more

    information on whether Ava is truly pregnant and if she is, when it happened given they¡¯ve been

    I curse. My hands folding into fists.

    From what I know, only four people knew that Ava was pregnant. She was going to lose it when

    she finds out about the article.

    I ce mom¡¯s phone down and take my own. Dialing the number of my one of my contacts in the

    entertainment industry. I wait for her to pick up.

    ¡°Sir?¡± she picks up on the first ring.

    ¡°There is a new article about me and Ava circting, I want it taken down¡± I growl, fueled by

    anger.

    ¡°I see it, give me ten minutes¡±

    ¡°Also let it be known that if anyone is caught writing articles about Ava¡¯s private life, they¡¯ll face

    bankruptcy¡±

    ¡°Yes sir¡±

    I cut of the phone, still fuming.

    Ava has always been a private person. I was going to protect her privacy at all coast. It doesn¡¯t

    matter what it takes.

    ¡°What¡¯s going on between you and Ava, Ro?¡± mom asks after her while. Her gaze piercing mine as

    if she was trying to find the answers by staring deep into my soul.

    I was d she didn¡¯t ask if the pregnancy rumor was true. That wasn¡¯t my secret to tell and I

    wouldn¡¯t even have told her.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡± I answer her in frustration.

    ¡°Kate tells me that you¡¯ve been distant with Emma. Emma told her that you broke things off and

    won¡¯t even talk to her. Is this because of Ava?¡±

    I think of lying to her, but what would be the use?

    ¡°Partly¡±

    I hear her sharp intake of air. I don¡¯t look at her. Afraid of what I¡¯ll see in her eyes.

    ¡°Did you know that Ava wasn¡¯t Kate and James¡® daughter?¡± I ask when she doesn¡¯t say anything

    for a long time.

    ¡°Yes¡±

    ¡°Is that the reason you hated her?¡±

    ¡°No¡± she says, surprising me. ¡°I hated her because she took your happiness away. She took your light

    away. You loved Emma so much and because of her obsession, you lost her. You don¡¯t know how painful

    it was for me to watch my son living like a zombie. It was like when you lost Emma you died, Rowan. We

    didn¡¯t get you back until Noah was born and even then, you didn¡¯te back

    to us fully¡± U

    I shake my head. I don¡¯t want to remember how I was drowning back then. I was basically a dead

    man living. It was the worst period of my fucking life.

    ¡°You hated her back then, but I see that has changed. I spent almost thirty minutes looking at the

    pictures of you two standing outside that store. You stared at her in awe. You looked at her like

    she was your world. You looked at her like you were in love with her¡±

    I face my mother. Staring at her in shock. She had to be wrong some 3

    ¡°Gabe found out she didn¡¯t lie when she said she was drunk. He was able to get the footages of that

    night¡± I whisper, trying to change the subject.

    It still sits heavily in my heart knowing what I did to Ava. All the fucking pain I caused her. She

    took it all until she couldn¡¯t anymore. Until she finally had enough and kicked us out of her life.

    ¡°Then I need to apologize to her for my part in shunning and hating her¡± her tone is somber and I

    know it¡¯s already killing her to know she had been wrong about Ava too.

    We¡¯re quiet for a moment. Each of us lost in our own thoughts. That¡¯s until she speaks up.

    ¡°You have to tell her Rowan. You have to tell Ava you love her. Nine years have already been

    wasted. Nine years where you would have been happy with her. You have to tell her before it¡¯s too

    2

    ¡°But how can I tell her?¡± I run my hand down my face. ¡°How can I tell her when I¡¯m not even sure

    what I feel? She has me in knots and I don¡¯t really know what it is I feel towards her. It¡¯s all so

    fucking confusing¡±

    And that is the bane of my existence. The fact that I don¡¯t know how to describe what I feel for

    ¡°Language!¡± she admonishes before sighing. ¡°I think you spent so much time hating and resenting her

    that those ugly feelings are now fighting against the feelings that areing up and the developing ches.

    That is why you¡¯re confused. Because you are trying to reset feelings that have been dominant for years¡±

    She continues. ¡°Just take your time and don¡¯t rush it. As for Ava, I saw how she looked at you. The love

    she once had is either gone or buried deep inside. My advice, don¡¯t push her too much or she¡¯ll snap and

    completely cut you off¡±

    I nod my head as I ept her advice. After spending a few more minutes with her, I leave.

    I was more rxed than I had been when I arrived, but the tension was still there.

    It was as I was driving to my office that I epted the truth.

    I did have feelings for Ava. Strong ones at that. I just didn¡¯t know how deep they went, or what

    exactly they were. It was time I find that out.

 Chapter 78

    We¡¯ll always love you

    Ava

    The moment I saw my parents on my doorstep I knew that they had seen the damn article.

    Letty had sent me the link a few minutes after I got home. It pissed me off more than I already

    was. I hadn¡¯t been ready to let others know and the damn paparazzi had sted it on the entire

    inte.

    I wasn¡¯t even worried about the others reaction. My worry was solely on mom and dad¡¯s reaction. I

    just haven¡¯t found a way to tell them that I was pregnant. The entire thing was even more

    The article had disappeared a few minutes before my parents arrived. I had a strong suspicion

    that Rowan had something to do with it.

    Just his name brought anger like no other. I shake the thoughts of what happened in the

    changing room and focus on my parents who were staring at me questioningly.

    ¡°You saw the article didn¡¯t you?¡± I ask the obvious.

    The house was quiet. Mainly because Noah wasn¡¯t back from school yet.

    ¡°Yes¡± dad responds, his eyes piercing mine.

    ¡°I know we haven¡¯t had a lot of time with you, Ava, but why didn¡¯t you tell us?¡± Mom whispers in a

    small voice. ¡°A baby is a blessing and I thought we were past the point where you feel you can¡¯t

    talk to us¡±

    I feel how hurt she is. It hurts me to know that I¡¯ve hurt them. They¡¯ve been nothing but amazing

    to me. The kind of parents I¡¯ve always wanted. Always wished for. How do I exin to them that I

    wanted to, I just didn¡¯t know how to get it out?

    ¡°You have to believe that I wanted to tell you so many times, I just didn¡¯t know how to?¡± I whisper

    back. My eyes on my shaky hands.

    ¡°Why would you have a hard time telling us?¡± dad brows frown in confusion. He was trying to

    figure out my reasons but none seemed to be making sense.

    ¡°Because of who the father is¡±

    I hear mom¡¯s sharp intake of air. ¡°You mean Rowan isn¡¯t the father?

    Why does everyone think Rowan is the one that got me pregnant? We were divorced for fucks sake.

    I nod my head, still looking down. I didn¡¯t know it back then but fact remains that I slept with my

    adopted brother. I am sure Ethan never told them those specific details, which makes telling

    them all the more difficult. It is even more messed up that Ethan knew the whole damn time and

    yet he still went ahead and slept with me.

    ¡°You have to know that we will never judge you Ava. Whoever the father is, it doesn¡¯t matter¡± mom

    adds when she sees I¡¯m still hesitant.

    ¡°Even if the father of my baby is Ethan?¡± I choke out.

    It still felt like a damn sin. Ethan and I weren¡¯t rted, but he was their son in every way.

    The silence that descends is heavy. They both look at me inplete shock. Their mouths open

    and close wordlessly. As if they can¡¯t form any word.

    Damn it. I knew this was a bad idea. What if they hate me? What if they hate Ethan? I let out a long

    sigh. I also couldn¡¯t keep it a secret from the forever.

    ¡°E¨CEthan is the fa¨Cfather?¡± mom stammers, tears filling her eyes.

    ¡°Yes. I didn¡¯t know that he was my adopted brother when I started a rtionship with him.¡±

    ¡°But he knew!¡± dad booms, standing up angrily. He was fuming. It was easily written all over his

    face. ¡°Is this why he doesn¡¯t want to see us? I didn¡¯t think he had gone this far. That he fucking

    seduced you knowing very well you¡¯re our daughter¡±

    I¡¯m surprised. I have never ever heard dad curse.

    ¡°He didn¡¯t seduce me. I jumped into the rtionship willingly¡± I tell dad, feeling my cheeks

    turning pink for some reason.

    Sure, I wouldn¡¯t have gotten into a rtionship with him had I known the truth, but he didn¡¯t

    seduce me. Everything that happened between us was consented. 4

    ¡°He tricked you Ava.¡± Mom sighs. ¡°Your dad is right. Ethan knew the truth, but you didn¡¯t. He

    basically seduced you knowing very well he¡¯s your adopted brother. That was wrong of him.

    Really wrong¡±

    ¡°I know and I¡¯m disgusted when I think about it. He won¡¯t stay in prison forever and I did give him

    exin that their father is your son? Adopted or not. Fihan is still your au

    This has been one of my biggest worry I don¡¯t want my child to vise me in a negative waye tell them

    the truth, but that would mean making his or her dad seem like a fucking sickne

    Mom stands up andes to sit next to me. She pulls me into her arms and huge me close Heel my

    eyes start to fill with tears

    Damn hormones a

    ¡°It¡¯s okay baby, don¡¯t worry about it. We still love you and we will love the baby¡± Dad adds, joining

    US

    We stay in each other¡¯s embrace for a while before separating

    ¡°Another grandbaby. This is so awesome. I better start shopping¡± mom says excitedly, her face

    transforming with the smile that takes over.

    She was literally jumping up and down like a school girl.

    ¡°How many people can brag that they¡¯re grandmas at forty three? I am a young and chick

    grandmother and I still energetic enough to run around with my grandkids¡±

    Dad and Iugh in amusement as mom twirls around in my living room like a ballerina Standing up, dad

    pulls her into his arms and kisses her. He then spins her as momughs in joy

    I smile at them. This is the kind of marriage I¡¯d wanted. The kind of love I¡¯d craved for. I feel a pang in my

    heart, but I don¡¯t let it bother me. I¡¯d already let go of those fantasies. I¡¯d epted that

    their kind of love wasn¡¯t in the cards for me.

    After that, they stay a little before they leave. I felt like a burden had been lifted from my shoulders. My

    biggest fear had been that they would reject my child. Seeing how in the end they were excited to have

    an additional grandchild eased something inside me.

    Soon Noah arrives and I get busy helping him with homework and making him snacks. I like being

    organized, so I sort his uniform for the next day and everything he would need.

    I had just finished when there was a knock on my door. Dragging my feet, I leave Noah¡¯s room and go to

    open the door.

    ¡°Ava Sharp?¡± the delivery man asks.

    Damn it I need to change myst name. The Sharp¡¯s name no longer belonged to me.

    Yes

    ¡°I have a delivery for you

    I roll my eyes. I don¡¯t get why they always have to say that. I mean, I already can tell you¡¯re here to

    deliver something. It¡¯s obvious.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t order anything¡± I tell him.

    ¡°Not my problem

    Rude. Maybe he saw me rolling my eyes at him. Before I can say anything, he shoves the box into my

    hand and walks away.

    I watch his back in shock. Memorizing the name of thepany he worked for. I didn¡¯t order anything,

    but I sure was going to give them a one star rating and a scathing review.

    Taking the box inside the house, I close the door and head to the living room.

    ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± Noah asks, eyeing the package.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡±

    I debate whether I should open it or not. There is still danger looming around from the reapers. What if it

    was a bomb or something?

    I don¡¯t get a chance to debate too much on it because Noah jumps up, takes the box and tears it

    open.

    ¡°Noah!¡± I shout. My heart in my throat.

    If it had been a bomb we would have been blown into pieces. Didn¡¯t he have a sense of safety?

    ¡°You do not open packages that you don¡¯t know anything about!¡± I snap at him, trying to calm my

    erratic beating heart.

    He just shrugs his shoulder. ¡°I was curious, so I opened it¡±

    He looks inside and his face turns into distaste. ¡°I thought there would be something cool, but it¡¯s

    nothing but a bunch of dresses¡±

    Wait what?

    I take the box from him and check inside. I remove each one of the piece of clothes. Slowly realizing that

    each piece is one from the mom and baby shop. They were all the clothes I had tried and liked. The ones

    that I¡¯d wanted to buy before shit happened with Rowan.

    How the hell¡­ I stop the thought as realization sinks in. Rowan. The bastard must have bought

    them.

    ¡°They¡¯re really nice dresses mommy. You¡¯ll look beautiful in them¡± Noah says, just as the thought

    of burning them crosses my mind.

    ¡°Thank you, my love¡± I force a smile on my face. ¡°I¡¯m going to prepare dinner. Finish up so you can

    take a shower¡±

    Leaving the box of clothes, I head to the kitchen. I still wasn¡¯t sure what to do about the clothes. I

    didn¡¯t want anything from Rowan. If we¡¯re being honest, this is the first I¡¯ve ever gotten from the

    man.

    Thinking of the clothes made me think of the scene at the changing room. I still don¡¯t know what

    the hell had gotten into him. Something just wasn¡¯t right. He was behaving so unlike himself.

    I hated the desire I saw in his eyes. I hated that I felt his hardened dick pressing against my

    stomach. Rowan has never found me attractive. Never looked at me like he wanted to eat me up,

    so what the hell has changed.

    ¡°Ava¡±

    I swivel around at his voice. Staring at him in shock as he stood at the door to the kitchen.

    ¡°What are you doing here and how the hell did you get in?¡± I ask, feeling my early anger start

    rising up.

    ¡°Noah let me in¡± he answers stepping forward.

    I didn¡¯t want him in my house. I didn¡¯t want him in my life. He can¡¯t treat me like trash for nine

    years then all of a sudden have a change of heart. It doesn¡¯t fucking work like that.

    ¡°Get out!¡± I snap in anger.

    ¡°Ava¡±

    ¡°Get out of my fucking house, Rowan¡± 2

    I try to hold it back, but the shit he put me throughes barreling back up. I don¡¯t see him now.

    ¡°Listen to me, Ava¡±

    ¡°Like you listened every time I told you I was drunk and you didn¡¯t believe me? Or every time I begged

    you to give us a chance, but you wouldn¡¯t listen. Wouldn¡¯t give me the time of day!¡± I take a deep breath

    trying to calm down.

    ¡°I¡¯ve heard enough from you tost me a life time. I left you like you¡¯ve always fucking wanted, why can¡¯t

    you do the same for me? Haven¡¯t I already paid enough for loving you! What more do you

    want from me?¡±

    Tears threaten to fall, but I hold them back. I won¡¯t let him see me lose it.

    ¡°You¡¯ve always thrown your love for Emma in my face. She¡¯s here Rowan. You can have the love of

    your fucking life and leave me the hell alone. Don¡¯te to my appointments, don¡¯t take me shopping,

    and don¡¯t buy me clothes. Just ignore me like you always have¡± I finish and copse

    against the kitchen counter. 2

    I see something sh in his eyes. Pain, regret, sorrow? I don¡¯t know and right now I don¡¯t care.

    ¡°Are you too fighting?¡± Noah asks, his voice cutting through the tense atmosphere.

    His eyes are hard. His mouthpressed in a thin line.

    ¡°No we¡¯re not¡± I sigh tiredly. ¡°Your father was just leaving¡±

    I re at Rowan. Giving him the silentmand to leave. Hopefully he will never step foot into

    my house again.

    Noah nods and leaves. Rowan turns to leave, but then stops.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry Ava. So fucking sorry¡± his tone is hard. Almost like he was fighting his emotions.

    ¡°Just leave Rowan and take the clothes you bought with you¡±

    ¡°No¡±

    I resist the urge to stomp my foot at his stubbornness and throw a pan at his head.

    ¡°Fine! I¡¯ll just give them away to charity¡±

    ¡°Do as you wish Ava. They are your clothes¡± with that he walks out of the kitchen.

    i hear murmurs and then a while ister 1 hear the front door open and close. I breathe a sigh of relief now

    that Rowan¡¯s suffocating presence was gone.

    As I make dinner, I harden my heart. Builiding fotress walls around it. I don¡¯t know what game Rowan

    was ying, but I¡¯ll be damned before I allow my heart to get involved with him again.

 Chapter 79

    Kidnapped again

    Today I wasn¡¯t in the best of moods. Mainly because Noah was still mad at me for kicking Rowan out I

    thought I had covered things up well. It turns out that he could see past my bullshit.

    At times like this, I wish that we hadn¡¯t pretended in front of Noah. I know that we thought we were

    protecting him. That we were giving him a happy childhood. All we did was deceive him.

    Now he has it in his head that we were once in love and that we can be again.

    I don¡¯t know how to tell him the truth without breaking his little heart. I don¡¯t know how to tell

    him that everything he believes about me and Rowan is a lie.

    My biggest fear is that he¡¯ll hate us for lying to him if the truthes out. Then again we can¡¯t continue

    like this. We can¡¯t continue with him believing that there is a chance for me and Rowan.

    I sigh and get out of bed. I had gone back to sleep after Noah left for school. As the days progress,

    the bigger I get and the more tired I feel.

    Dragging my feet, I head to the bathroom and take a shower. It still doesn¡¯t take away the fatigue

    from my bones. Deciding on a dress, I put on a white spaghetti strap dress with blue flowers on it.

    It reached just above my knees and showed my belly. Since my parents now knew the truth about

    my pregnancy, it was time to stop hiding it.

    Not in the mood to do my makeup, I opt for just concealer to cover up my dark under eyes.

    I leave my room and get downstairs just as my doorbell rings.

    I was really not in the mood to see or talk to anyone. Not when I was feeling like shit.

    I open my front door and wish that I hadn¡¯t. Travis was standing on my door step looking

    disheveled. (1

    I go to close the door, but he stops it before I can m it on his face.

    ¡°Please Ava¡± he begs tiredly.

    ¡°What do you want?¡± I ask, my voice cold even to my own ears.

    It was really funny how much my voice automatically changes nowadays. I don¡¯t even put any

    effort in it. It just grows cold and unattached. As if I was speaking to a total stranger.

    ¡°Can Ie in?¡± he asks.

    ¡°Fuck No! Speak what you came here to say and leave¡±

    I would be lying if I said I wasn¡¯t curious about why he was here. Thest time I saw Travis was

    when mother revealed the truth about how I came to be a Sharp.

    I see him hesitate and my curiosity gets stronger. Travis has always been arrogant and assured. To

    see him this nervous in front of me was intriguing.

    ¡°Get it out already! I don¡¯t have all day¡± I snap after a few minutes of him being quiet.

    I was starting to question why I even gave him a chance to speak. I should have called the police

    on his sorry ass.

    ¡°I was wondering if you could talk to Nora and Theo¡± he finally speaks, but it was so low I had to

    straining to hear him.

    ¡°About what?¡±

    ¡°Sharp Corp. They¡¯ve gone after us. Making almost all investors who are in their contact to drop

    ourpany¡± he says brokenly. ¡°Thepany is sinking, Ava. We are losing investors, customers

    and funds¡± (2

    I sigh. If I were being honest, I thought mom and dad¡¯s threat was just that, a threat. I didn¡¯t really

    think that they would actually go after the Sharps for what they did to me.

    If there is anything that Travis loves more than anything, it¡¯s thatpany. It was and is his pride.

    and joy. To have him here, basically begging me to help him means he has reached the end of the

    road. It means he has tried everything and talking to me is thest and only resort.

    ¡°You have to know I don¡¯t really care if thatpany sinks or not¡± I state, folding my hands across

    my ches

    He looked tired and worn out. Like he has been burning both ends of the candle.

    Letty hasn¡¯t mentioned anything about this to me. Then again, I told her never to speak about

    Travis in my presence.

    ¡°Please, Ava. I beg you. We¡¯re family¡±

    Hearing that word has my hackles up. Bringing the familiar angry burn.

    ¡°Family?¡± I scoff. ¡°How are we family, Travis? If I remember correctly you cut me off. You said I

    was dead to you and renounced me as your sister years ago. Then you went and proved just how

    ¡°Ava.*

    I cut him off. I don¡¯t want to hear a thing from his damn mouth.

    ¡°Every time you took Emma¡¯s side, every time you treated me like trash. Every fucking time you.

    me you family? What about the times you said I deserved the pain I was going through? Or when

    father and mother ignored me like I didn¡¯t matter? What about all the time you all shunned me?

    Was I still your family?

    He doesn¡¯t say anything. But what is there to say anyway? He knows the truth. He didn¡¯t consider

    me family back then. To him and the rest I was nothing but an unwanted nuisance. One they

    would do anything to get rid of.

    ¡°So tell me, if you didn¡¯t consider me your family back then, what makes you think I¡¯ll consider

    you my family now? Whatever you are trying to do by ying the family card with me won¡¯t work¡±

    My eyes pierce his. I used to note the difference between us. Travis and Emma didn¡¯t look alike,

    but by just seeing them you could guess that they¡¯re rted. I on the other hand looked nothing

    like any of them. That should have been the first clue that I wasn¡¯t one of them.

    ¡°Let¡¯s be honest, you¡¯ve never cared about me. The only reason you¡¯re here is because you think

    you can use me, but I won¡¯t let you. Go home, Travis and don¡¯t ever darken my doorstep again.¡±

    With that, I push him away and m the door hard. I lean against it breathing hard. Its quiet for a

    few minutes before I hear his car start up and speed off.

    Feeling the need to escape the house, I take my car keys. I was just leaving when I notice the

    clothes Rowan bought. I take them. nning to pass by a shelter to give them away.

    Within minutes, I¡¯m on the road. My mind was all over the ce. First with Rowan and now Travis.

    The audacity they had to think that they could just walk into my life and demand things. The

    thought that everything can be easily forgotten waspletely delusional.

    If Rowan wasn¡¯t Noah¡¯s dad, I would have demanded he stay out of my lifepletely. Everything

    that I do. I do with Noah¡¯s interest at heart. I¡¯ve been tempted so many times to take Noah far

    away, but the love he has for his father stops me every time. 3

    I¡¯ve wanted to move far away from here, but I know that the move will hurt Noah. Rowan thinks

    Noah loves me more. He just doesn¡¯t realize that he loves him just as much.

    Sporting an ice cream shop, I decide to stop. The front was packed so I park at the back instead.

    A littlefort is what I need right now. I¡¯ll eat some ice cream while I try to clear my head.

    I get into the dainty and cozy shop and order myself a big bowl of ice cream. I usually can eat any

    vor of ice cream, just as long as it¡¯s ice cream, but on the days I¡¯m feeling down and need

    My mind wonders to Travis. I¡¯m not sure about how my parents are going about everything. I¡¯m not

    the revenge type of person. I usually just let karma do her thing because the way she fucks people

    up is on another level.

    I¡¯m on the fence about the revenge thing. Part of me wants to see them crash and burn. The other

    part just wants to let everything go and just forget they exist. Does it make me evil that the bigger

    part wants to see them in pain? That it wants to see them suffer?

    I finish my ice cream and leave still as conflicted as I was when I entered the ce. Maybe talking

    to someone will give me some rity.

    Deciding to go see my therapist I head towards my car. I don¡¯t get near it though because someone

    grabs me and covers my mouth and nose before I can scream. Within seconds, everything

    disappears and I fall into darkness.

 Chapter 80

    <strong>Chapter 80: Meeting Reaper</strong>

    ¡°Wake up!¡±

    I groan, but I don¡¯t open my eyes. The voice sounded so far away, and I thought that I was dreaming because how else would the voice sound so familiar?

    ¡°Ava, wake the fuck up!¡±

    This time I open my eyes. The voice sounded too real to be a dream. Also, why the hell would I dream of her?

    My vision is blurry as my eyes try to adjust. As the seconds go by, the memories of earliere back to me.

    Shit! I¡¯ve been kidnapped again.

    My brain was still fuzzy from what I assume is the chloroform I inhaled. I take a quick note of things, hoping that the chemical won¡¯t affect my baby.

    I was seated on a chair with my hands tied behind my back. Trying to move proves to be a moot point. The ropes were tight and they cut into my skin. Whoever took me probably didn¡¯t want to risk me escaping.

    ¡°Are you done?¡± she asks.

    I thought it was just my imagination, but it¡¯s not. I sharply turn to my left to find Emma also tied to a chair. She looked more alert, meaning she was here longer than I was.

    ¡°What the hell are you doing here?¡± I ask her dumbly.

    I survey the area. It was one big room with absolutely nothing. No chair or furniture except the ones Emma and I were sitting on. There was nothing to give a clue of where we were or who this house belonged to.

    ¡°Isn¡¯t it obvious? We were both kidnapped,¡± she answers sarcastically.

    I roll my eyes at her. ¡°Of course, I know that! What I meant to ask is why whoever it is would take both of us?¡±

    I don¡¯t know who took us, but I have my suspicions. The only threat that was remaining was from someone who considered Emma more important to the Sharps and Rowan than I was.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±

    ¡°How long have you been here?¡± I tried calming my breaths. It wouldn¡¯t do me any good to panic.

    The more I try, the more I¡¯m taken back to the night Ethan betrayed me. Didn¡¯t things happen almost in the exact same way? With the difference being Letty was the one kidnapped alongside me instead of Emma.

    Fear grips me as I think of that day. Fear that the same thing would happen again. That I was about to find out that someone close to me had betrayed me again.

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure. I gained consciousness just as they carried you in,¡± Emma¡¯s voice pulls me back from the painful memories.

    ¡°And how long have I been out?¡±

    ¡°Maybe fifteen or twenty minutes or so.¡±

    I¡¯m quiet after that, trying to do the math. It doesn¡¯t help though. Because I¡¯m not sure how far out they drove from the ice cream shop.

    I start to panic again when I think of Noah. Oh my god, who was going to pick him up? School ends at three-thirty, and when I got to the ice cream shop, it was already around noon. What if they decided to take him too?

    ¡®Calm down,¡¯ I tell myself. ¡®You know the school will call Rowan if you¡¯re unable to pick him up. He¡¯ll be safe.¡¯

    I keep telling myself that until I calm down and my breathing stops being so erratic. Noah is going to be fine. Right now, I just needed to concentrate on myself.

    ¡°So it is true, you¡¯re pregnant,¡± Emma speaks, making me turn to her. She was looking at my baby bump.

    Even when she was being held hostage, she still looked damn beautiful. How the hell is that even possible? Maybe she was a goddess in her previous life or something.

    Instead of answering, I ignore her and face forward. My pregnancy was none of her fucking business.

    I start to struggle against the ropes, trying to loosen them. The ropes cut into my skin, but I keep trying. There was no way I was going to stay here with her the entire time.

    ¡°Can you just shut the fuck up and let me think?¡± I snap at her.

    ¡°Why do you have to be so rude?¡± she frowns at me. ¡°That¡¯s not going to fix anything.¡±

    ¡°Why don¡¯t you just shut your mouth and let me think?¡± I retort.

    She can¡¯t seem to stop talking. The sound of her voice grates on my nerves. She always annoyed me, but right now it was unbearable.

    ¡°Why don¡¯t you untie me, and when I¡¯m done with her, I¡¯ll being for you next,¡± I snarl at the man who just walked in.

    The guy justughs. He finds it funny because he knows fighting me would be akin to fighting a child.

    ¡°I¡¯d like to see you try,¡± he scoffs at me. ¡°Is this what you do during your spare time? Kidnap helpless, defenseless women? Does it make you feel more like a man drugging a woman into unconsciousness?¡±

    ¡°Shut up,¡± he shouts at me, his face contorting into something ugly.

    He approaches me. His steps and movement are menacing, like a tiger about to pounce on its prey.

    ¡°Or what?¡±

    ¡°What the hell are you doing? Stop it,¡± Emma whisper-yells, her voice fearful. ¡°Stop taunting him.¡±

    I ignore her and smirk, looking directly at the huge man. ¡°They should cut off your dick. Any man that drugs two women is nothing but a pussy and isn¡¯t worthy of being called a man.¡±

    To be honest, I don¡¯t even know why I was pushing his buttons. I didn¡¯t

    I remain quiet as Ronny continues to talk, my heart beating wildly against my chest.

    ¡°You see, your ex-husband did something that pissed off a lot of people,¡± Ronny says, pacing back and forth in front of us. ¡°And unfortunately for you two, you¡¯re caught in the crossfire.¡±

    Emma looks terrified, but she keeps herposure. I, on the other hand, am trying to figure out how to get us out of this situation.

    ¡°What did he do?¡± I ask, trying to keep my voice steady.

    Ronny stops pacing and looks at me, a smirk forming on his lips. ¡°He betrayed someone very powerful. Someone who doesn¡¯t take betrayal lightly.¡±

    ¡°And what does that have to do with us?¡± I retort, trying to sound braver than I feel.

    ¡°You¡¯re leverage,¡± Ronny says simply. ¡°If we can¡¯t get to him, we¡¯ll get to him through you.¡±

    My heart sinks. This was bad. Very bad.

    ¡°We have nothing to do with his actions,¡± Emma says, her voice trembling slightly. ¡°Why punish us for something he did?¡±

    Ronnyughs. ¡°Because, my dear, that¡¯s how the world works. Sometimes, the innocent suffer for the sins of others.¡±

    I clench my fists, feeling a surge of anger. ¡°And you think that makes it right?¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter if it¡¯s right or wrong,¡± Ronny says, leaning in closer. ¡°What matters is that it gets results.¡±

    The door behind Ronny opens, and another man walks in. He looks just as intimidating, with a simr build and a stern expression.

    ¡°Boss, we have a problem,¡± the man says, looking at Ronny.

    Ronny turns to face him, a frown forming on his face. ¡°What kind of problem?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s Rowan. He¡¯s here,¡± the man says.

    Ronny¡¯s eyes widen slightly, and then he grins. ¡°Perfect. Bring him in.¡±

    I feel a mix of relief and fear. Rowan is here, but I have no idea what that means for us.

    The door opens again, and Rowan steps inside. He looks furious, his eyes zing with anger as he takes in the scene.

    ¡°Ava, Emma,¡± he says, his voice low and dangerous. ¡°Are you okay?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re fine,¡± I say quickly, though I¡¯m not sure how true that is.

    Rowan turns his attention to Ronny. ¡°Let them go.¡±

    Ronnyughs. ¡°Or what? You¡¯ll kill me?¡±

    ¡°If I have to,¡± Rowan says, his voice deadly calm.

    Ronny¡¯s grin fades. ¡°You¡¯re in no position to make demands, Rowan.¡±

    ¡°Try me,¡± Rowan says, taking a step forward.

    Before I can react, the man next to Ronny lunges at Rowan. They grapple for a moment, but Rowan quickly overpowers him, knocking him to the ground.

    Ronny looks furious, but he doesn¡¯t move. ¡°This isn¡¯t over, Rowan. You¡¯ll pay for what you did.¡±

    Rowan doesn¡¯t respond. Instead, he moves to untie me and Emma. ¡°We¡¯re getting out of here,¡± he says, his voice softening as he looks at me.

    I nod, feeling a wave of relief wash over me as he frees my hands. Emma and I stand up, and Rowan leads us out of the room.

    As we make our way to safety, I can¡¯t help but feel a glimmer of hope. Maybe, just maybe, things will be okay.

 Chapter 81

    You get to choose

    Rowan.

    ¡°Are you going to brood forever?¡± Gabe asks in annoyance.

    I don¡¯t pay him any attention. Just continue staring at the amber liquid in my ss, contemting how

    things went downhill with Ava so fast.

    I¡¯m not na?ve enough to think that she was acting irrationally. She was acting like a normal person would.

    A person who¡¯s been hurt over and over again by people she loved. (2)

    There¡¯s this strong need inside me to soothe her pain. To take all her hurts away. To heal her. How can I

    do that, though? When I¡¯m the one that fucking put it¨Cthere in the first ce.

    ¡°You can¡¯t continue like this, Ro. If she¡¯s not giving you the time of day, then leave her the hell alone!

    Emma wants you for crying out loud. Hell, It¡¯s not like you¡¯recking when ites to the women that

    want you,¡± he grumbles, plopping his ass down on the chair. 2

    I don¡¯t acknowledge his stupid tirade. Instead, I send him a re. ¡°If my current mood bothers you so

    much, you can fucking leave.¡±

    He doesn¡¯t understand, and I am in no mood to make him understand. My entire being has recently

    decided that it doesn¡¯t want Emma. Nor does it want any other woman who is not Ava.

    I used to despise her. Used to think that there was no way I would ever want her. Famousst fucking

    words because she¡¯s all I think about right now. She¡¯s taken over every inch of my thoughts and

    fantasies..

    Karma sure is a fucking bitch, ain¡¯t she? Just when I finally acknowledge that I do want her, she decides

    that she wants nothing to do with me. The fact that she¡¯s having a baby with another man

    is proof enough of her determination to move on.

    I used to be the only man that has ever touched her. The only man she knew quite intimately. I never

    used to take that for the fucking gift it was. Now, someone else knows how she tastes, and I fucking hate

    that Ethan gave her something that I used to deny her while we were married.

    Shaking those thoughts away, I stand up and walk to therge windows of my office. Thinking of any

    other man touching her drives me crazy. It¡¯s pure fucking torture. I guess now I have an

    inkling of how she felt when I used to hold Emma between us.

    Fuck! How can I make her see that I don¡¯t mean any harm? That I don¡¯t want to hurt her, instead, I want

    to heal what¡¯s broken

    You want to heal what¡¯s broken, yet you can¡¯t ept that you love her? A voice taunts. ¡®When are you

    going to realize you just don¡¯t do such things for a woman unless you fucking love her?

    I ignore those words. Refusing to drown too much in them

    Yes, I did feel something for Ava. I¡¯m not even sure when or how they developed. Even if I were to

    tell her that right now, do you know how insincere those words would seem? She probably wouldn¡¯t even

    believe me. Not after how I have treated her for the past nine years.

    My door opens, but I don¡¯t turn.

    ¡°Now, what has gotten you in such a foul mood?¡± Gabe asks.

    I don¡¯t need to turn around to know that it¡¯s Travis he¡¯s talking to. We¡¯ve been friends since we were all in

    diapers. We know each other like the back of our hands.

    ¡°Ava¡±

    Her name makes me turn around. My focus on Travis.

    He looks tired, lost, and utterly defeated. He has lost weight these past few weeks, and it¡¯s

    worrying all of us.

    ¡°What happened?¡± I ask, my voice sounding gruff even to my own ears.

    ¡°I went to ask her for help concerning thepany. She refused.¡± He sighs.

    I¡¯ve told him I could help, but he refuses. The Howell¡¯s kept to their promise. Sharp Corp was sinking and

    if nothing was done soon, it wouldn¡¯tst even two months before itpletely

    copsed.

    The only reason ourpany was still standing was because we were as powerful as the Howell¡¯s. Their

    pulling out and getting their loyal investors to do the same hadn¡¯t affected us that much.

    I wasn¡¯t foolish enough to think it would end there. They may not have been able to destroy our

    company, but I¡¯m fucking sure they¡¯ll look for another way to get their revenge. I won¡¯t even fight. them.

    They were right toe after me. I deserve everything they n to do to me for the way I

    treated their daughter.

    ¡°Is that what has you so dejected? That she refused to help you.¡± Gabe looks at him in sympathy.

    Travis lets out a long, tired breath. ¡°No. It¡¯s what she said She said she didn¡¯t consider me her family. In

    other words, I was nothing to het¡±

    I see the pain it causes him, but I don¡¯t feel any sympathy for him. We were horrible to her. Her treatment

    towards us was less than we deserved.

    ¡°What did you fucking expect? I keep asking you guys that question,¡± Gabe grumbles.

    ¡°I know. I don¡¯t know why I keep expecting her to be as she was. Every trace of the old Ava is gone. The

    only time you see glimpses of her is when she¡¯s with Noah.¡± Travis slumps in his seat, looking defeated.

    My phone rings, drawing my attention from their conversation. I didn¡¯t recognize the number. For a

    moment, I thought of ignoring it, but I thought otherwise.

    ¡°Didn¡¯t I tell you I¡¯d get back at you¡± the familiar voice says.

    ¡°What the fuck do you want?¡± I ask angrily, not in the mood to fucking y his damn games,

    Ronny also known as Reaper chuckles. ¡°Don¡¯t you want to know what, or more specifically, who I

    have?¡±

    I¡¯m not one to be fazed, but damn it. Reaper was a crazy fucker. The fact that he sounded so cocky

    worried me.

    ¡°Spit it out, Ronny, I don¡¯t have all day¡±

    My voice was calm, but a certain kind of panic was rising inside me. He had someone I cared

    about. That alone was starting to drive me crazy.

    ¡°Since you¡¯re so eager to know, I¡¯ll tell you.¡± He pauses as if trying to rise suspense, but all he was doing

    was pissing me off. ¡°I have two beautifuldies with me. The love of your fucking life and

    the mother of your kid¡±

    My heart stops for a minute before it starts to beat erratically. Travis and Gabe must have sensed

    something was wrong because they stop their conversation and focus on me.

    ¡°What do you want?¡± My whole fucking body was frozen as if I was encased in a block of ice.

    ¡°It¡¯s simple really. I want you to choose who gets to live and who dies. I¡¯ll spare the one you choose

    and kill the other one. Aren¡¯t I being nice? You get to walk away with one of them instead of me

    killing all of them¡±

    Fuck¡® This was worse than I expected The fucker was clearly out of his fucking mind.

    Remember, time is ticking ¡°Tick, toc, tick, tock,¡± he says right before the lines goes dead.

    ¡°What is it¡± Gabe asks me, seeing my bothered look.

    ¡°Ronny has Ava and Emma¡± I pause, taking a deep breath to try and calm myself. ¡°He asked me to

    choose.¡±

    ¡°Fucking shit!¡± Travis shouts, his voice reverberating through the room.

    This shit was fucked up.

    I was going to do everything to get them both back safe and sound. But if push came to shove I knew in

    a heartbeat who I would choose. Only problem is, would I be forgiven for costing the other her life

 Chapter 82

    Royally fvcked

    ¡°You can¡¯t be senous Emma asks as shell shocked as I was

    I felt my heart beating wildly Panic fisted my chest, making it hard for me to breathe. If I had thought that

    Ronny or Reaper, whatever the fuck he goes by, kidnapping us was bad, I was wrong because what he

    nned was way worse.

    ¡°Oh, I am. You father should never have messed with me neither should Rowan. It¡¯s time to get my

    revenge¡± Ronny smirks evilly sending chills down my back.

    He had called Rowan right in front of us and told him to choose. I still can¡¯t believe that his n was that

    only one of us would walk out of here alive.

    I felt like everything was crushing in on me. Fear was wreaking havoc inside me and I couldn¡¯t think

    clearly. I was sure that my face was swollen from that bastard hitting me and my lip had split. I chose to

    focus on that pain instead of the impending doom.

    ¡°Don¡¯t you have anything to say, Ava?¡± Ronny asks with the same cold smile.

    I avert my eyes. I couldn¡¯t form a thought let alone say anything. This was the fifth time I was facing

    death. With how unhinged Ronny seemed, I was afraid that I wouldn¡¯te out of this alive.

    I internally shake myself. Shoving those horrible thoughts away. I couldn¡¯t think like that. I had Noah and

    a baby to think about. For their sake I was going to fight to stay alive.

    ¡°Maybe you¡¯re afraid that Rowan will choose your sister¡± he taunts. ¡°Is that what has you so

    worried?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s not my sister!¡± I snap, getting my fire back.

    He chuckles with no humor in the sound of his voice.

    ¡°No matter. This is going to be a fun game. I want to see your ex¨Chusband break because either who he

    chooses he¡¯s going to get the other dead and that will be on him. The guilt will be his undoing¡± with those

    parting words, he walks away. Closing the door behind him.

    ¡°What are we going to do?¡± Emma whispers but I don¡¯t answer her.

    Ronny was right. I was afraid because I knew that I wasn¡¯t the one Rowan would choose. Emma

    has always been important to him and I doubt that has changed.

    He would go to hell and back for her, so I knew I didn¡¯t stand a chance of him choosing me over

    Emma

    I had to get out. To escape 1 knew that my parents would do anything to find me, but I was afraid that

    they would be toote Rowan¡¯s heart and mind has always been dominantly on Emma. If I stayed here I

    wouldn¡¯t stand a chance.

    With those thoughts in my head, I start struggling to get out. I couldn¡¯t push myself backward to break the

    chair. First of all, it would hurt and second, it would probably put my baby in danger The only option left

    was to try to get myself free from the ropes.

    I first survey the room. Good. There were no cameras. Of course they wouldn¡¯t be because these men

    probably thought we can¡¯t escape. This was going to make things easier.

    The more I twisted my arms, the more the rope cut into my wrists. I curse in pain, but I don¡¯t stop.

    Time was ticking.

    ¡°What the hell are you doing?¡± Emma asks looking at me puzzled.

    ¡°What does it look like I¡¯m doing?¡± I ask her sarcastically. ¡°I¡¯m trying to get free.¡±

    ¡°But why? Rowan wille for us¡± she states firmly as if she actually believes what she¡¯s saying.

    I look at her like she¡¯s dumb and at this moment I actually feel like she is.

    ¡°Maybe the drugs you inhaled affected your brain cells but we both know that if pushes to shove,

    Rowan is going to choose you. I have a son and another baby on the way. I¡¯m not going to wait twiddling

    my thumbs while Rowan ys god all because father was stupid enough not to do a background check

    before signing a contract with the Reaper!¡±

    She looks at me in shock. Unable to believe what I just said. I know that it was rude speaking ill of the

    dead, but I am frustrated. I¡¯m in danger and so is my unborn child. If only father had them investigated

    before signing a contract with them then I wouldn¡¯t be in this damn mess.

    ¡°I can¡¯t believe you just said that about daddy!¡±

    ¡°Lucky for me because I don¡¯t really give a fuck what you think¡± I snap.

    Can¡¯t she just keep quiet and let me concentrate? With each moment that passes that I am not

    free, my anxiety rises even more.

    She res at me, but keeps quiet. I heave a breath of relief. Now I can focus on getting my hands

    I don¡¯t know how long it was when I gave up My hands were shaking My wrist were burning and I could

    tell that they were bleeding. It¡¯s like the more I tried to free them, the deeper the rope dug

    into my ski¡°.

    I let out a heavy breath. I hate to do this, but I had no other option. At this point it was either that or risk

    being the one that got killed.

    ¡°I have a n that might work¡± I turn to Emma and tell her grudgingly. It felt like a blow to my ego, but

    considering what¡¯s at risk, my pride can go to hell.

    ¡°Now your need my help? Didn¡¯t you just tell me that I should shut the fuck up and that you didn¡¯t really

    care what I think?¡± she asks smugly. O

    The need tosh out at her is great, but I hold back. I¡¯m not stupid enough to antagonize her when I

    clearly need her help.

    ¡°Are you going to help or not?¡± I ask instead, not willing to admit that I might have gone a little

    overboard.

    She stays quiet and just stares at me. Blue eyes sh with brown. She¡¯s assessing the situation.

    Assessing whether it¡¯s wise to assist her mortal enemy. I almost take back my request when she

    finally speaks.

    ¡°What do you need me to do?¡±

    I sag in relief. Maybe there was hope for us after all.

    ¡°I can¡¯t untie myself, but maybe you can.¡± I begin. ¡°If we can turn our chairs so that our backs are facing

    each other and we get close enough, maybe we can untie each other¡±

    I hope to God it works because I have run out of ideas.

    ¡°Fine¡± she says before she starts twisting her chair.

    I had thought of just hoping up and down on it, but Emma¡¯s approach was better. It produced

    minimal noise so I was sure even if there was someone outside, they wouldn¡¯t really hear us.

    It takes a couple of tries and we almost fall over a few times, but we finally manage to get in the

    right position.

    ¡°Please hurry up¡± I plead as I do my best to untie her too.

    Some time had passed and with each second, I was afraid that Ronny would walk in at any time and

    dere that Rowan had chosen Emma so I would have to be killed.

    We finally get the ropes untied. My body rxes but notpletely. I won¡¯t be able to rx all the way

    urt. I am out of this ce.

    Hurrying up, I untie my legs. When I stand up, I almost fall over. The ropes had cut off blood supply so

    my legs were a bit numb.

    ¡°What do we do next?¡±es Emma¡¯s question tinted with a bit of nervousness.

    I didn¡¯t really have a n. So I was just going to make it as we go.

    ¡°Now we escape¡±

    I start to walk towards the door when I realize that she wasn¡¯t following me.

    ¡°Are youing?¡± I ask without turning my whole body towards her.

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure. What if Rowanes and doesn¡¯t find us? What then?¡±

    Just because we helped each other get untied, doesn¡¯t mean we are friends or anything. She has to stop

    relying on others to save her.

    ¡°Look, what do you think will happen when they find out I¡¯ve escaped? They¡¯ll take the option from

    Rowan and just kill you instead. You can stay and risk it or we can go together, either way I¡¯m leaving¡±

    with that I turn and resume my walk towards the door.

    Slowly opening it, I peep out just to make sure there weren¡¯t any guards. There weren¡¯t. I open the door

    further to step out just as I feel Emma behind me.

    I get out and survey the ce. We were in a junk yard. I smile at our luck. This meant there were a

    lot of ces to hide from Reaper and his men.

    ¡°We have to find the exit. From there, I believe things will be easy¡± I tell Emma as we start moving.

    She nods her head in agreement and walks beside me. We¡¯re careful as we look for an out. Keeping

    ourselves hidden and making sure we don¡¯t walk in the open.

    ¡°Where the hell is the exit?¡± Emma was exasperated. It was easy to tell.

    We¡¯ve been walking for a few minutes. Even though we haven¡¯te across any goons, we also

    haven¡¯te close to finding the exit.

    ¡°Maybe we should rest a little¡± I was beginning to get tired. My face was hurting, so were my

    hands and feet

    That thought is immediately shot to the ground when we here a ring rm. Its sound ringing loudly

    ross the yard.

    My heart starts pounding. Fuck. This was bad. I¡¯m fucking sure that they¡¯ve realized we have escaped

    ¡°Go, go, go¡± I insist as I pull Emma forward. She had a look of total fear. Like she had just seen her life

    sh before her eyes.

    We rush forward blindly. We didn¡¯t know where we were going. All we knew is that we couldn¡¯t get caught

    no matter what.

    I kept looking behind me. Making sure that Emma wasn¡¯t out of sight. That was a big fucking

    mistake.

    Colliding with a body, I stumble, but catch myself before I can fall. Terror squeezes my heart as I stare at

    the man that hit me earlier.

    Shit! We were royally fucked.

    ¡°Did you honestly think it would be that fucking easy to escape?¡± he asks, taking out a gun and

    pointing it at me.

    I feel Emma gasp in fear. She was shaking and I could feel her trembling.

    ¡°Yes¡± I tell him with a fake bravado.

    He walks slowly towards me. His gun¡¯still pointed at me.

    ¡°I don¡¯t like you smart mouth or your sass. Maybe I should just kill you and save your ex¨Chusband

    from having to choose¡±

    I make a split decision. He was close enough and it could work. Using the defense techniques I was

    taught in defense ss, I quickly knee him in the balls.

    He falls down groaning and cussing. Without really thinking I take the gun he had dropped,

    remove the safety lock and fire.

    ¡°That¡¯s for hitting me¡± I shoot his right thigh. ¡°And that is for how much it fucking hurt¡± I then

    shoot his other thigh.

    He hollers in pain His deep voice travelling through the space. I have never shot anyone, though 1 did

    practice with Ethan a few times. Seeing the bastard bleed was oddly satisfying.

    ¡°It came from over there¡±

    My satisfaction doesn¡¯tst long when I hear the voice. Still with the gun in hand, I motion for a shaken

    Emma to move. We weren¡¯t even that far away when they came across the shot goon.

    ¡°Fucking get them!¡± he shouts, his voice tinged with pain.

    All hell breaks loose as they start to fire. I pull Emma behind a beat up car as bullets fly in all direction

    Fuck. This was bad. This was worse than bad, it was fucking terrible.

    ¡°Fuck it Ava. I shouldn¡¯t have listened to you.¡± She starts ranting, but I know it¡¯s to cover her fear.¡± I

    swear Ava. If you get me killed, I¡¯ll hunt your sorry ass¡±

    I ignore her and focus. After a few minutes, the shooting stops. My breathing turns to as normal as it can

    get. Standing up, I pull Emma up.

    ¡°Let¡¯s go before the find us¡±

    I had only taken a couple of steps when I felt a presence near us.

    ¡°Ava!¡± the scream drives fear inside me.

    I¡¯m shoved to the side and fall just as a single shot rings through the entire yard.

 Chapter 83

    Rescued

    Fuck, it hurts Emma screams in agony, making mee out of my shock just in time to see the man

    raise his pistol.

    I scramble to take the gun that I had dropped and immediately fire. He drops to the ground I get up and

    rush to Emma, who was writhing on the ground.

    I don¡¯t even check if the man was alive or dead. Right now, it didn¡¯t fucking matter to me. Not when I¡¯m

    pumped full of adrenaline and Emma was bleeding on the ground.

    ¡°I¡¯m dying aren¡¯t I?¡± she asks with tears filling her eyes.

    I could have told her to stop being a cry baby, but I don¡¯t. Not when she¡¯s the one that shoved me

    and took a bullet that was meant to be mine.

    ¡°No, you are not¡± I respond as I examine her.

    She¡¯d been shot in the shoulder, and it was bleeding a lot. I was worried. First of all, she might just bleed

    to death, and second, we were still in danger. Someone was bound to find us eventually.

    ¡°You¡¯re lying!¡± she hisses when I put pressure on the wound. ¡°If I¡¯m not dying then why the hell

    does it feel like I am?¡±

    I don¡¯t answer. Choosing instead to focus on stopping the bleeding. As teachers, we are required to

    know basic first aid. The bullet was still lodged inside, so I couldn¡¯t remove it. Not without knowing the

    extent of the damage. Instead, I rip the hem of my dress and tie it tightly around her

    shoulder.

    ¡°Damn it, I should have just stayed in that fucking room¡± she grumbles, ring at me. Her eyes

    showed the pain that she was trying to hide.

    ¡°Come on. We have to keep moving¡± I say as I slowly help her up and we start moving.

    Fuck. Rowan was going to kill me. Not only did I put Emma in danger by dragging her into my escape

    n, but I also got her shot. I didn¡¯t know how to face him when we manage to get free.

    Sure, others might reason that it was Emma¡¯s decision to take the bullet for me. That I didn¡¯t ask

    her to do it, but Rowan might not see it that way. He will take one look at his bleeding precious,

    Emma and me me.

    Sighing, I pull her up straight. I was currently supporting her weight. She was leaning into me as

    pace we were going I estimate that it won¡¯t be long.

    I don¡¯t know for how long we were walking. Maybe an hour or a few minutes, I couldn¡¯t tell, because it felt

    like an eternity. I was starting to get tired from carrying both our weights. My legs were aching, my hands

    were shaking and my head was pounding. Emma had now almost slumped all the way forward and she

    was weakening from the blood loss.

    ¡°Maybe we should rest¡± I pant.

    ¡°Yesss. That¡¯s a gooood idea¡± she slurs, tipping forward, almost tripping both of us.

    I look for a hidden ce, before gently lowering her down. I then sit next to her and lean my

    against the old car.

    head

    This ce was like a fucking maze. It felt like we have just been going round in circles from the moment

    we escaped that room. I was so tired and hungry that I didn¡¯t care if they found us. I just

    wanted some pain meds, food and a nap.

    ¡°Emma, I¡¯m not sure we can escape¡± I tell her but receive no answer.

    I face her. Her eyes were closed and her mouth slightly open.

    ¡°Emma?¡± I call again, but she still doesn¡¯t answer.

    My heart starts going haywire and panic begins setting in.

    I shake her and her body tips. I catch her before she falls to the ground. Twisting her, I make it so that

    she¡¯sying on myp. I whisper her name again, but she¡¯s still unresponsive.

    With shaky hands and bonesden with fear, I check her pulse, afraid of not feeling anything. I sigh in

    relief when I feel it. It was a bit weak, but it was there. I breathe a sigh of relief. I don¡¯t

    know what I¡¯d have done if I hadn¡¯t found a pulse.

    Tears start filling my eyes. We were stuck here. Emma was bleeding and weak. I was tired and

    aching and we were right in the middle of the enemy¡¯s camp.

    I don¡¯t stop them when they fall. I was just fed up. Why was all this happening to me now? I

    wanted nothing, but peace, but I am yet to achieve that. I hated this. Hated everything that was

    happening.

    I keep my finger on Emma¡¯s pulse just to assure myself that she was okay. We will probably never

    be close, but that doesn¡¯t mean I want her to die.

    what we have here a weaver say ¡°Twed of running? Or is your friend dead already?

    Lees

    7

    sig

    scary song than saving at with nothing but evil intent. For a moment I see

    my life and before my eyes

    Remember when I said that I don¡¯t care if they find us? Well, I take those words back. I didn¡¯t mean any

    of them I¡¯m definitely not ready to die

    ¡°ease¡± I beg him as I watch him raise his gun

    Part of me knew he wouldn¡¯t shoot me For Reaper¡¯s n to work, he needed both me and Emma alive.

    Still, that doesn¡¯t stop me from being afraid.

    He cocks the gun and removes the safetytch.

    ¡°Boss doesn¡¯t want you dead¡± he says, confirming my suspicion. ¡°But that doesn¡¯t mean I can¡¯t hurt you

    for the trouble you¡¯ve caused us.¡±

    The evil glint in his eyes widens Looking at him, I see the evil that resides in him. He didn¡¯t choose this

    kind of job because the money was good or because he had no other choice. He chose it because he

    was genuinely evil and he liked to hurt others.

    I close my eyes when I realize there is no escaping him. Waiting for him to just get it over and

    done with.

    I hear a shot, but I don¡¯t feel pain or the impact of the bullet. I frown and open my eyes. I am shocked to

    find Rowan standing before me like an avenging angel, with the man on the floor and a

    bullet hole in his skull.

    ¡°Rowan¡± I whisper in relief, but then it quickly turns into dread when his eyes shift from me to

    Emma, who was unconscious.

    Damn it. I had forgotten about her.

    I don¡¯t know which fate was worse. Facing Ronny or Rowan.

    ¡°We need an ambnce. She got shot and is bleeding. She lost consciousness a few minutes ago¡± I

    tell him, my voice barely above whisper.

    He doesn¡¯t answer. His face was stony, and that scared me more than anything. I was sure of one

    thing: Rowan was going to retaliate against me when Emma wakes up and tells him that she took.

    a bullet that was meant for me.

 Chapter 84

    My choice

    Rowan

    I can¡¯t exin the fear I felt when I saw the bastard pointing a gun at her head. She was shaking,

    and tears were falling down her face. I heard as she pleaded with him to spare her, but I knew he

    wouldn¡¯t.

    When she closed her eyes. As if epting her fate. It nearly brought me to my fucking knees. If it

    wasn¡¯t for the fact that I knew she was tired, I would have spared the man just so I could give him

    my own personal version of torture.

    ¡°She needs a doctor, Rowan¡± she says in a small voice as I kneel down before her.

    I had already texted Gabe. The ambnce would be here in minutes. It¡¯s not that I didn¡¯t care for

    Emma; I did. I just cared for Ava more. (2)

    I take her face gently into my hands. Her cheek was swollen, and so was her eye. It had already bruised,

    and her lip was split.

    My face hardened at the thought of someoneying their hands on her.

    ¡°Who hit you? Was it Ronny¡± I ask through clenched teeth.

    She winces when I run my hand down her bruised cheek. Fuck! Her pain made my heart constrict.

    I wanted nothing more than to kill the bastard who hurt her.

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter¡­ We need to get Emma to a hospital¡± she says as she begins to stand up.

    I push her down gently and continue to inspect her. Totally ignoring what she said. Her wrists were

    bleeding, and her ankles were swollen and bruised.

    The more I took in her wounds, the angrier I got. She shouldn¡¯t have to go through this. Especially not

    when she was fucking pregnant.

    ¡°Rowan, are you not listening to me¡± Her tone is exasperated, and I know if it weren¡¯t for the fact that she

    was tired and hurt, she would have thrown a few choice words at me.

    ¡°I¡¯m listening, and the ambnce will be here.¡± I answer. ¡°Now tell me who hurt you.¡±

    She lets out a deep long breath. Sagging in relief against the car

    It was one of Ronny¡¯s men. He hit me when I talked back at him¡± she tells me tiredly.

    ¡°Give me a facial description¡±

    I was going to find the bastard. No one. I mean, no one gets away with hurting Ava. He was going

    to regret the day he was fucking born.

    It doesn¡¯t matter. When I escaped, he found us first. I kneed him in the balls, then shot both his

    thighs

    I can¡¯t help the small smile that forms on my lips. I liked this side of Ava. Loved that she was no

    longer willing to take crap from anyone.

    Before I could ask why she thought escaping was a good idea, we heard the sirens, shouts, and

    shots. Gabe, Travis, and the paramedic reach us momentster.

    The paramedics take Emma from Ava¡¯sp before cing her on a stretcher.

    ¡°What happened?¡± one of them asks.

    I see Ava hesitate a little before answering.

    ¡°She got shot while we were trying to escape. I tried to stop the bleeding as best as I could, but she

    as time went by and finally lost¨Cconsciousness.¡± Her eyes were trained on Emma¡¯s form.

    ¡°Is she going to be alright?¡± she asked, her voice full of fear.

    This is one of the things I¡¯vee to love about her. Emma has been nothing but horrible to her,

    but that d

    stop her from worrying about her. She was a fucking angel, and I curse myself that

    it has taken me this long to figure that out.

    ¡°Yes. Her pulse is a bit weak, but she¡¯ll be okay once we get her to a hospital¡±

    They wheel her away.

    ¡°Are you okay, Ava?¡± Travis asks her. The concern in his eyes was clear.

    ¡°Yes¡± Her answeres out in a low voice as she struggles to get up. ¡°Go, be with Emma. I¡¯m okay

    and she needs you more¡±

    He nods his head before bending down to kiss her cheeks. I know it¡¯s from the fact that she¡¯s worn

    out that she doesn¡¯t push him away. Otherwise, her reception would have been entirely different.

    He leaves, and I give Gabe the signal to follow him.

    ¡°Need help?¡± I question after watching her struggle to get up.

    ¡°Yes please¡± she answers, looking at me tiredly.

    I bend dow, and pick her up. Hugging her close to my chest, I begin walking.

    ¡°I said I needed help standing up, not being carried¡± Her argumentcks her normal fire backing it up. It

    goes to show just how worn out she was.

    I don¡¯t answer. Just pull her closer to me. It felt right with her in my arms like this. Like everything in the

    fucking universe was aligning itself. If I could stay like this forever, then it¡¯s a fate I would dly ept.

    As I walk with her to my car, I can¡¯t help but wonder. I¡¯ve never allowed myself to be this close to her. To

    hold her, hug her or kiss her. I always held a part of myself hidden from her. So it makes me wonder if,

    had I allowed myself, would it have felt like this? Like she was the missing piece of

    my soul?

    I was just getting to my car when Brian stops me.

    ¡°What?¡± I growl at him. Couldn¡¯t he fucking see that I was carrying precious cargo?

    ¡°We were able to get most of the Reapers, but Reaper himself escaped¡± he says, delivering the bad

    news.

    It makes me want to pound someone. The fact that he keeps evading us makes me fucking

    furious. As long as he was still out there, none of those I care about would be safe.

    ¡°Just fucking find him¡± I snap before walking away.

    I get to my car and gently drop Ava in the front seat. Buckling her up, I get in and begin driving to

    the hospital.

    ¡°Where are we going?¡± she yawns.

    ¡°You need to get checked. Make sure you and the baby are fine¡±

    She nods her head in eptance before leaning back against the seat. It doesn¡¯t take us long to get to

    the hospital. By the time we get there, Ava was already asleep.

    I park my car before waking her up. I didn¡¯t mind carrying her, but I also know that nurses would

    need her to answer some questions.

    ¡°We are here¡± I say when she opens her beautiful eyes.

    Before she can jump down. I take her into my arms and carry her in. As soon as the nurses notice us,

    they drag a wheel chair towards her.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry sir, we¡¯ll take care of her and call you immediately we have news¡± they assure me when I

    refuse to let her go.

    Sighing, I slowly put her down on the chair.

    ¡°Please call my parents¡± she tells me before they wheel her away.

    The moment she¡¯s out of sight, I do exactly that. I don¡¯t say a lot. Just demand that theye to

    the hospital.

    I then call my parents to check up on Noah. The moment I got the call from Ronny, I asked them to pick

    him up. Once I make sure that he¡¯s safe I head towards the waiting room where I find Gabe,

    Travis and Kate.

    ¡°Any news?¡± I ask sitting down.

    ¡°Not yet¡± Travis answers.

    ¡°How¡¯s Ava doing? Where is she?¡± Kate asks with worry.

    ¡°They took her in for checkup just to make sure everything is fine¡± I tell them

    We then stay in silence after that. Being here reminds me of everything that happened after James died.

    It reminded me of how I was ovee with emotion after seeing Emma again after

    nine years.

    Everything had been so surreal. In that moment, I had gone back in time. Back to the time when she

    meant the world to me. I had been so lost in memory that I hadn¡¯t noticed Ava leaving.

    Being here also reminded me of when Ava got shot. She had been standing right next to me, yet I had

    dived for Emma instead. Ava became different after that event. It¡¯s like the Ava we knew had died and a

    new one had been born. I¡¯ll never forget how cold she was.

    I couldn¡¯t me her, though. I would have done the same thing if the roles had been reversed. I bet that

    was her wake¨Cup call. It took seeing me rush to save Emma for her to see that I wasn¡¯t

    worth her time, effort, or affection.

    I stand up and begin pacing.

    Somehow along the way, my feelings changed. Now she wanted nothing to do with me. Everything I did

    in the past, thinking it was justified, now stands in the way. It made everything I did suspicious in her

    eyes. It fucked up every effort I made, and it made sure that she¡¯ll never trust

    me.

    I can¡¯t deny it anymore. I fucking want her. With every past action, though, I don¡¯t think she¡¯ll

    want anything to do with me. No one has to tell me that the love I used to see shine in her eyes is no

    longer there. Right now, she only tolerates me for the sake of Noah.

    ¡°Mr. Woods¡± I¡¯m snapped out of my thoughts when my name is called.

    I look up to find the nurse from earlier staring at me.

    ¡°How is she?¡± I am desperate for answers.

    ¡°She¡¯s okay and so is the baby¡­ we just need to keep her for a few hours since she was dehydrated

    when she arrived¡±

    I hear a gasp from behind me. Damn it! Kate didn¡¯t know about Ava¡¯s pregnancy, but it was now

    confirmed. Ignoring her, I focus on the nuanbeding

    ¡°Can I see her?¡±

    She nods her head and gestures for me to follow. We get to a room and she opens the door, letting me

    in. Once I¡¯m in, she leaves, closing it behind her.

    Ava was attached to an IV stand. Her wrists were bandaged, her body was covered from the waist down,

    and the cut on her lip was stitched.

    ¡°How¡¯s Emma?¡± is the first thing she asks me.

    Damn the woman for being a real fucking angel.

    ¡°We haven¡¯t heard anything from the doctors, but I¡¯m sure she¡¯s fine.¡± I take the seat next to her bed,

    fighting the urge to take her hand in mine.

    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry¡± she begins, her eyes filling with tears. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean for her to get hurt. I just wanted to

    escape. If I knew that she¡¯d get shot, I would have asked her to stay back¡±

    The urge I was fighting against wins, and I take her small hands in mine.

    ¡°Why would you want to escape?¡± I ask.

    The question has been bugging me since I found her. Didn¡¯t she trust that I woulde for her? That I

    would never let anyone hurt her? @

    She looks at me like I¡¯m crazy. ¡°Why would I want to stay? The moment Ronny gave you the ultimatum, I

    knew I didn¡¯t stand a chance. Your first choice will always be Emma, and I knew if I stayed, I would end

    up dead, so I decided to escape. It was the only way to make sure my baby and

    I survivedTM

    I didn¡¯t say anything at first. If I thought seeing her hurt broke me, then I was a damn fool because her

    words fucking shattered me to pieces, but how can I me her for believing that?

    I pounded in the fact that Emma was my world. That she was everything to me. Didn¡¯t I jump to save her

    during that shootout a few months ago? I nailed it to her that Emma meant everything to me while she

    meant nothing. It was probably tattooed on her fucking mind, heart, and soul. How then can I be hurt and

    mad that she believed I would pick Emma over her?

    1

    The ache inside me was hard to contain, and I found myself gripping her hand tight.

    ¡°Rowan?¡± she calls in concern, trying to get her hand out of mine.

    I loosen my grip, but I don¡¯t let her hand go. Right now, she was my anchor as I fought against falling into

    the hole that I had dug with my bare hands.

    ¡°I wasing for you, Ava. You were my choice from the moment Ronny gave that ultimatum.¡± I release

    the breath that was stuck in my lungs. ¡°I know it makes me look like a bastard, but I would have dly let

    Emma die if it meant saving you¡± 5

    She stares at me in shock, but I meant every word. There wasn¡¯t a choice to be made because I knew in

    my heart that she¡¯s been my number one choice for some time now. She owned me even

    though she didn¡¯t know it yet.

 Chapter 85

    His Unbelievable words

    Ava

    ¡°W¨Cwhat?¡± I stammer, looking at Rowan inplete shock

    I couldn¡¯t have heard him correctly. The Rowan I knew would have done anything for Emma Including

    sacrificing me.

    My heart beats wildly as I stare at his nk face.

    ¡°You heard me, Ava¡± he repeats. No trace of lying in his voice. ¡°If it had toe to it, I would have

    dly let her die if it meant saving you¡±

    At first I thought that he¡¯d lied so I wouldn¡¯t feel bad. After all, who likes knowing that the man

    she spent almost a decade with would dly save another woman?

    I thought he was saying that just to spare my feelings. Looking at his face though, I realize that he

    was telling the truth. It was written on his face and in his eyes. Besides, when has Rowan ever

    spared my feelings? He¡¯s never shied away from telling how it is so why would he start lying now?

    I release a deep breath and untangle my hands from his. It felt too intimate. I already had so much

    thoughts dancing in my head. I didn¡¯t need his warm hands confusing me more.

    ¡°You don¡¯t mean that¡± I tell him after a while. ¡°Emma is the woman you¡¯ve loved since the first

    time you realized what love is. You¡¯ve been in love with her for so many years, how then can you

    so casually say you would sacrifice her for my sake?¡±

    His brows draw into a frown. He goes to speak, but I interrupt him.

    ¡°I¡¯m the one that has meant nothing to you from the start. Remember? You hate me Rowan. You¡¯ve

    hated me for years, so what the hell is going on? How can you just decide one day that I¡¯m more

    important than your precious Emma? Something is just not adding up. You just can¡¯t unhate me

    all of a sudden¡± 2

    I fall back on the pillow in exhaustion. I knew what I said was the damn truth. There is just no way all the

    hate, resentment and bitterness he has had for me for the past nine years disappeared

    into thin air.

    You just don¡¯t wake up one day a brand new person. Intense feelings are hard to get rid of. Hard to bury.

    I should know that. Didn¡¯t I struggle with trying to kill and bury the love I had for Rowan?

    finally nd myself of it.

    Ava

    He goes to say something, but I am just done. I don¡¯t want to hear it. I don¡¯t want him to make up pretty

    little lies. I don¡¯t want any new changes. I just want to go back to how things were before

    When they all hated and despised me. D

    I know some might wonder why I would want such a thing, right? After all, isn¡¯t this what I¡¯ve

    always wanted? For them to realize their mistake and crawl begging for forgiveness.

    The truth is, I am just so used to their cruelty that I don¡¯t know how to deal with this new versions of their

    persona. It¡¯s confusing because a part of me wants to let it all go and forgive them. The

    other part though, doesn¡¯t trust their intentions. 3

    Maybe it¡¯s the trauma from being rejected over and over again, but I can¡¯t trust their brand new feelings

    towards me. It feels like a game. A game of waiting for the other shoe to drop.

    ¡°No, Rowan¡± I cut him off. ¡°I¡¯m thankful that you saved me, but please leave. You should be by

    Emma¡¯s side. That¡¯s where you¡¯ve always wanted to be. Emma is here and you have waited years

    to be with her. Please don¡¯t screw things up. What we had meant nothing. It was a mistake from the

    beginning. We both spent those nine years in misery, it¡¯s time each of us found our happiness

    right? Yours has always been with Emma, and mine¡­well mine is now with my children¡±

    He wants to argue. I see it in his eyes as the grey pools darken. Almost like there was a storm

    raging inside. I still. Waiting for a fight, but it doesn¡¯te.

    I¡¯m surprised when he sags against his chair, before letting out a sigh.

    ¡°Alright, I leave you alone¡­for now¡± he says in a gruff voice before standing up.

    I thought that would be it, but instead of leaving immediately, he bends and the kisses my

    forehead gently. Before I can say or do anything. He leaves, closing the door gently behind him.

    I¡¯m left staring at his back. Wondering what the hell just happened. It¡¯s not that I am not happy he

    left. I am. It¡¯s just Rowan is used to doing whatever the fuck he wants, yet he left when I asked

    even though you could tell he didn¡¯t want to.

    As I slowly regain my energy, I think about what he told me. Of course it¡¯s hard to believe him. I

    mean this is Rowan we are talking about. The same Rowan that told me I could never measure up

    to be like Emma or a woman he loves.

    What the hell is going on with him? I question but don¡¯t get any answers

    Any other man I would have believed if he told me that he would give up Emms But not Howan Never

    Rowan

    How does he expect me to believe him? For nine years he along with everyone else has told me that I

    am nothing. That I meant nothing to him. So how does he expect to flip things around out of nowhere

    and expect that I would believe him?

    I had so many questions, but no answer. All those questions were doing my head in, so I push them

    aside instead. Whatever was going on in Rowan¡¯s head wasn¡¯t my damn business. Him and 1 were

    done. It wasn¡¯t my ce to try and figure him out.

    Without meaning too, exhaustion takes over and I fall asleep.

    When I wake up, it¡¯s to find my parents in the room with me. They looked as exhausted as I felt Each of

    them was holding one of my hands and at that moment I¡¯ve never felt more loved.

    This is what I had craved from Rowan and the Sharps. The fact that I finally had it, brought so many

    emotions to the surface.

    I must have made a sound, because they both look up.

    ¡°Ava¡± mom calls, her voice catching. ¡°How are you feeling?¡±

    My eyes fill. I blink to try and push them back, but it does nothing.

    ¡°I love you guys so much. Thank you for being everything I¡¯ve always imagined¡± My voice was so full of

    emotions that it was hard to speak.

    ¡°Aww darling. You can¡¯t imagine how I¡¯ve been dying to hear you say that¡± mom says, her tears reflecting

    in the light.

    ¡°We love you too baby girl. More than you could ever imagine¡± dad adds.

    I let the tears fall as I bask in their warm embrace. Surrounded by their love.

    We separate as the door opens and a nurse walks in.

    ¡°Are you ready for discharge, Ava?¡± she asks smiling kindly at me.

    I was so happy when they told me that my baby was doing fine. That the drugs I inhaled hadn¡¯t

    affected the baby in any way.

    ¡°Yes. I¡¯m dying to see and hold my son* I tell her smiling back at her.

    Rowan told me that he was with his parents I nned to pick him up on the way home. I don¡¯t

    n to be a second away from him because I knew today would have gone differently. If it had. I

    wouldn¡°: nave been alive to see him.

    ¡°Okay. Come to the reception once you¡¯re done here¡± she instructs just before she leaves,

    Mom had brought a change of clothes. She helps me change in the small bathroom while dad

    waits for us. After I finish, we leave the room.

    Mom and dad insist on taking care of the bills. They wanted me off my feet.

    As I waited, I notice the Sharp¡¯s, Gabe and Rowan. Taking in a deep breathe, as if I could breathe in

    the courage to face them I walk towards them. I take my time, not sure what I was doing, but sure

    I wanted to know how Emma was doing.

    They all turn to me when I walk up to them. It felt like back in highschool. The scared nerdy kid

    approaching the popr table.

    ¡°I just wanted to ask how Emma is¡± I announce, shifting from one foot to another.

    At first no one says anything, but then Kate stands up and pulls me into her arms. I freeze. It was

    so weird because she¡¯s never hugged me before, so it felt strange.

    My handsy straight by my side. I don¡¯t want to hug her back. Didn¡¯t want to give her the wrong

    idea.

    ¡°She¡¯s okay. She just came out of surgery¡± Travis is the one that answers.

    I just nod my head. What was there to say any way?

    Kate releases me when she realizes that I am not hugging her back. She just looks at me with

    tears in her eyes.

    Holding out her hand, she goes to ce it on my cheek, but I step back. Avoiding her touch.

    ¡°I¡¯m d you¡¯re okay, Ava. So thankful that both my daughters are safe¡± her voice catches as she

    speaks.

    I want to tell her that I¡¯m not her daughter. That she lost the right to call me that, but I don¡¯t get

    the chance.

    ¡°Darling?¡± her soft voice calls from behind. ¡°It¡¯s time to go home, my love¡±

    1 see Kate flinch, but I don¡¯t have it in me to care.

    My gaze sweeps over all of them before finallynding on Rowan. I quickly avert my gaze from his.

    ¡°I¡¯m d she¡¯s okay. I didn¡¯t get to thank her, but tell her I¡¯m grateful for what she did.¡± I don¡¯t have

    anything else to add, so I turn around and walk to my parents.

    Dad pulls me into his arms, and mom links her hand with mine. I feel eyes on me as we walk. I don¡¯t

    have to be told who they belonged to.

    I walk away, my mind in turmoil, but I refuse to turn around. I didn¡¯t want to see the emotions in Rowan¡¯s

    eyes. The ones that were burning for the brief second I looked at him. The very ones I refuse to

    acknowledge because I knew that I was probably mistaken.

    There is just no way I saw something akin to love in his eyes as he stared at me, because Rowan only

    loves one woman and her name is Emma.

 Chapter 86

    Friends?

    It¡¯s been two days since Emma and I were kidnapped. The police have searched for Reaper, but he

    was in the wind again. They couldn¡¯t find him and those of his men who were caught weren¡¯t

    talking.

    I¡¯ve lived in constant fear since then. I don¡¯t want something like that happening again. I

    especially didn¡¯t want to be targeted for something that I wasn¡¯t even involved with.

    ¡°Mom can I y video games?¡± Noah ask bringing me back to the task at hand.

    I¡¯ve done all my chores in the hopes of keeping my mind from thinking too much. I was currently

    folding our clothes. After this, I didn¡¯t have anything else to do.

    ¡°Sure. What time did Gunner say he¡¯sing?¡±

    Those two were now joined at the hips. They did everything together even when they were in

    school.

    Their bond was so special and it reminded me of the one Rowan, Gabe and Travis have had since

    they were young boys.

    ¡°Around three¡±

    ¡°Okay. I¡¯ll make sure to have some snacks for you two¡±

    He kisses me on the cheek. ¡°You¡¯re the best¡±

    After that, he leaves and I am once again left with my thoughts. It¡¯s like for the past few days I¡¯ve

    done nothing but think. It was driving me crazy. The thoughts just kepting. Even when I was

    asleep.

    Everything was confusing. Especially where Rowan was concerned. He has called a few times, but

    instead of talking to him, I just hand over the phone to Noah. I wasn¡¯t in the right mental capacity

    to deal with him or the new character he has suddenly developed.

    His actions these past few months are so contradictory. How can I all of a sudden mean something

    to him when I didn¡¯t for thest nine years? What has changed?

    Nothing different has happened. I am still the same Ava. The same woman who he kept rejecting

    her love. 1

    If this change in him had happened a few years back, I would have jumped at the opportunity Now

    though, I feel like too much has already been said and done. There are just things that i can¡¯t erase from

    my mind of my heart. Words said that can never ever be taken back and actions that can never be

    undone

    But isn¡¯t this what you¡¯ve always wanted? a voice asks me. To have him see you, pay attention to you,

    want you¡®

    I can¡¯t deny that. I always dreamed of a day when Rowan wanted me, craved me. But it¡¯s a little toote

    now. I let go of those fantasies a long time ago.

    Those were the fantasies of a girl who was in love and craved love. The woman I am now understands

    that some things were just never meant to be.

    The woman I am now understands that hurt is more powerful than love. She understands that people

    you love can break you to the point where you¡¯re nothing but pieces on the floor,

    She understand that love is never enough and that you can¡¯t force someone else to love you. Finally, she

    understands that once something is broken things can never be the same again, that includes a broken

    heart and trust.

    Falling for whatever game Rowan is ying would be foolish. He already destroyed me once and I

    can¡¯t let that happen ever again. I don¡¯t want to ever go back to a time where I would look at

    myself in the mirror and not recognize the woman staring back at her. I can¡¯t risk that.

    Protecting my heart and being there for children is my top priority now. That has to be enough.

    The love I have around me is enough, even if it isn¡¯t romantic.

    My silly dreams of finding my prince charming is long dead. Rowan and Ethan taught me that.

    They taught me that fairytales are exactly that, tales and we know that tales are fiction.

    1

    I¡¯m shaken from my thoughts by the sound of knocking on the door. I look at the time and realize

    it¡¯s almost three. I have been sitting here, drowning in my thoughts for almost an hour and a half.

    I needed to sort out the mess that was in my head. I can¡¯t keep this up for long.

    Sighing, I stand up. I knew it was probably Gunner because he was the only one we were

    expecting. I would make them the snacks I promised then take a much needed nap.

    Opening the door, I am shocked to find Gunner standing outside with his dad.

    ¡°Hey¡± I greet him awkwardly after giving Gunner a hug.

    He doesn¡¯t need invitation so he rushes inside and up the stairs the moment we¡¯re done greeting

    each other.

    Calvin and I are left standing awkwardly, staring at each other.

    I haven¡¯t seen him since thest time he was here. Gunner is here almost every day and Noah

    sometimes goes to their house, but I¡¯ve hardly seen or interacted with Calvin. It¡¯s like for some unknown

    reason he was avoiding me.

    ¡°Do you want toe in?¡± I ask him when I see him shuffling from one foot to another looking rather

    undecided

    ¡°Yeah, if you don¡¯t mind¡±

    I move to the side to let him in. he looks unsure at first but he finally crosses the threshold and

    enters my house.

    Leading him to the kitchen, I motion for him to sit down while I prepare the boys their snacks.

    ¡°I heard what happened to you, just wanted to make sure you¡¯re okay¡± he says after a while.

    It wasn¡¯t news in this city. Someone got wind of it and by evening, Emma and I were all over the

    news. No one knew that I was a Howell, and I wanted it like that because I wasn¡¯t ready for the

    scrutiny that came with the name. They all still believe I was a Sharp and now everyone was

    specting on why someone would want to kidnap both Sharp sisters.

    ¡°Uh- thanks¡± I respond. It all felt so weird and awkward.

    ¡°How¡¯s the face?¡±

    ¡°Better¡± I simply answer.

    The swelling had gone down. All that remained was the ugly purple¨Cckish color around my

    cheek.

    We are quiet for a moment. Both of us not sure what to talk about. I even wished that he could

    leave. I hate awkward situations. They usually make me feel sweaty and out of bnce.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡± his voice cuts through the tense air, making me turn to face him.

    ¡°For what?¡±

    ¡°How I have treated you. It¡¯s not fair when you¡¯ve been nothing but kind to me and my son. I just¡­¡±

    I stare at him not sure what to tell him. This time it¡¯s not out of weirdness but out of shock. When I

    invited him, this was not what I was expecting.

    ¡°You have to understand, I haven¡¯t had the best experience when ites to women, so trusting

    them is a bit difficult for me¡±

    I swallow, realizing that I had it wrong all this time.

    ¡°It¡¯s safe to assume that you were hurt by Gunners mother and not because she died, right?¡±

    The emotions that y on his face tell it all. Whoever Gunner¡¯s mom is has done a number on him,

    and from the looks of it has continued to do it. He¡¯s a man that was drowning in pain. If he wasn¡¯t

    careful, it would consume him.

    ¡°Yeah, but I don¡¯t want to talk about it. It¡¯s too fucking painful¡± he whispers while trying to mask

    the pain that was chocking him.

    I feel for him. Maybe it¡¯s because he looks so lonely and lost. Maybe it¡¯s because I see myself in

    him. Maybe it¡¯s because I can rte to his pain. Whichever it is, I want to help him. I want to show

    him that there is a way to co¨Cexist with the pain.

    I can¡¯t promise it¡¯ll heal. After all, mine hasn¡¯t, but there is a way to live with it without it

    drowning you. Calvin just hasn¡¯t figured that out, and instead of living, he is merely surviving.

    Existing. Those are not ways to live, especially if you have a child. 1

    ¡°I get you Calvin. Fuck, do I understand you so I am going to ept your apology and I am going to

    give you¡¯re an offer of friendship¡± I tell him sincerely.

    He looks at me in doubt, but finally he nods his head. Though a bit reluctantly.

    I don¡¯t know much about him now, but what I can tell is that he doesn¡¯t have a support system.

    That¡¯s what he probably needs. Someone or some people in his life that will bring him out of his

    shell. Ones who¡¯ll show him life is to be lived.

    Isn¡¯t that what happened with me? Letty and Ethan came into my life and basically showed me

    the light. Sure, what Ethan did was fucked up, but I will always be grateful to him for showing me

    that there was more to life other than pain and heartache.

    ¡°Friends?¡± I ask pushing my hand forward for him to shake.

    ¡°Friends¡± he gives me a small smile.

    Even as we shake hands, I can¡¯t help the ufortable feeling tunning amuck in my chest 1 don¡¯t sense

    danger from him, but something tells me that Calvin was meant to move here. He has secrets which

    were bound toe out and when they did, they would shift everything.

 Chapter 87

    Don¡¯t woITY

    I was so bored. So freaking bored. It isn¡¯t bad during the weekends because Noah is around, but

    during weekdays it is unbearable.

    Letty and Corrine obviously worked throughout the day. So did my parents. I had hired Mary to

    take care of the daily running of The Hope Foundation. Even if I were to go there, there would be

    little for me to do except maybe sign documents that needed my approval.

    We had be good friends with Calvin over the past week. I learned that he has his own

    building and constructionpany. He started it about two years ago and so far he said it was

    doing well. So he also wasn¡¯t avable during the day.

    I was so bored that I¡¯ve started thinking of going back to work. I was five months along so I still

    had time before my due time came. Instead of that, I pick up my phone and dial the number.

    ¡°Hey Mrs. Derray, how are you doing?¡± I ask.

    We lived in the same neighborhood and she had called me a few days ago. She had a teenage

    daughter in highschool who was failing biology. She had asked me if I could tutor her.

    ¡°I¡¯m good dear. I¡¯m happy to hear from you, and how are you?¡± her voice is cheerful and it brings a

    smile to my face.

    ¡°I¡¯m good thank you¡± I pause a little. ¡°I was calling to ask if you¡¯re still interested in my tutor

    services¡±

    I hope that she hadn¡¯t found someone else. Even if she had, I still had others who had requested

    me to tutor the kids.

    ¡°Oh definitely yes. It has been stressing me out and I admit to praying that you would change your

    mind¡±

    When she had asked, it had been at the beginning of my leave. I¡¯d turned her down not knowing

    how bored I would get just staying at home doing nothing.

    ¡°Perfect then. How about after school hours? She cane by my house after school¡± I tell her

    happily.

    It¡¯ll be in the afternoon, but I didn¡¯t mind. Maybe I could help with our sex toy business. I couldn¡¯t

    be associated with it, but that doesn¡¯t mean I can¡¯t help. While Letty and Corrine focused on their

    ¡°That¡¯s fine with me. Will you charge weekly or per session?¡± she asks, still in her cheerful voice.

    ¡°It¡¯ll be free dear. It¡¯s a way for me to pass time since I took a long leave from work¡±

    The line goes quiet for a while and I almost think that she hang up.

    *Are you sure?¡± she finally speaks after a while.

    ¡°Yes¡­tell her toe over today and we can start¨Cimmediately¡±

    I didn¡¯t need the extra cash. I mean, the money I had in liquid cash and assets were enough to

    make sure at least three of my next generations lived infort.

    So yes, I was damn sure that I didn¡¯t need the money. Beside, teaching is a passion for me. Not a

    way for me to earn a sry.

    ¡°O¨Cokay dear. Thank you so much. She¡¯ll be over once she gets back from school¡± she stammers

    obviously still shocked that I didn¡¯t ask for a dime.

    ¡°You¡¯re wee¡±

    I hang up after that, then call three more parents that had requested the same from me. They

    were also stunned when I told them that I would be doing it for free. They kept asking if I was sure

    about this.

    It¡¯s after the third parent that I realize that they don¡¯t know much about me except that I was a

    teacher. I lived in a middle¨Css neighborhood. Unlike the higher ss who keep up with gossip,

    most of these people are far too busy working to provide for their family to spend their time and

    energy following gossip magazines and all that.

    That made me happy. Because I like being treated like any other person. I don¡¯t want others

    treating me differently just because I was rich.

    After making the calls, I sit down with a smile on my face. I feel like I aplished something

    today. I feel more rxed and at ease. For the first time since shit went down the drain, I felt like

    everything was going to work out.

    I honestly felt like doing a happy dance. I was so happy and so excited for some reason. I don¡¯t

    know why, but I just felt good.

    Moving to my bedroom, I go to take a shower and change.

    I take a hot shower, feeling my body rx even more. I spend a few more minutes under the

    cascading water before getting out.

    I search through the pile of clothes in my closest. I went shopping and bought new clothes after I

    gave away those that Rowan bought.

    Preferring a cream figure hugging dress, I put it on and check myself in the mirror. I looked sexy.

    My pregnancy has done wonders for my ass. I can¡¯t help but look at it in satisfaction.

    I decide to do my make up today. I go for the nude look. After that I do my hair, preferring to curl it

    instead of wearing it straight. Satisfied with how I looked, I take my ballet shoes and put them on.

    I was just about to leave when my phone rings.

    I don¡¯t recognize the number, but I pick it up none the less.

    ¡°Hello?¡±

    ¡°Hello, Ava. It¡¯s Ethan¡± his gruff voice says through the phone. 1

    Even without him introducing himself, I would still have known it¡¯s him. I memorized his voice

    during that time I was deliriously happy with him. It was during the time he spoke to me with so

    much emotion and care that I had felt wanted. If only it had been real and not a game he was

    ying.

    Shaking those thoughts, I push away the painful memories.

    ¡°Hello Ethan, how are you?¡± I ask, my voice controlled.

    I¡¯ve never visited him again. We¡¯ve only spoken through letters. Mainly with me updating him on

    what¡¯s going on with my pregnancy.

    ¡°I¡¯m good¡± he answers, then keeps quiet.

    It¡¯s awkward for a while. This was the man I had no trouble telling my thoughts. Now everything

    felt tense and awkward.

    ¡°Have you spoken to mom and dad?¡± I ask after a while, just to break the tension.

    It feels so weird calling them that while talking to Ethan. They raised him and they were his

    parents too. Which just makes everything weird because we were now expecting a child together.

    ¡°No¡±es his one word answer.

    ¡°Why? They are dying to talk to you, Ethan. Why won¡¯t you just see the?¡±

    Mom and dad try to hide it, but I know they¡¯re hurting. Don¡¯t get me wrong, they¡¯re still pissed at what

    Ethan did, but they still love him. You can¡¯t unlove a child you¡¯ve raised for more than

    twenty years.

    ¡°You know why, Ava¡± he answers in a sigh.

    ¡°Yes, and you reason is so fucking stupid! Can¡¯t you see you¡¯re hurting them? Haven¡¯t you hurt them

    enough? Don¡¯t you love them? Why then would you do this to them?¡± I fire the questions one by one,

    feeling frustrated by his stubbornness.

    I continue speaking when he doesn¡¯t say anything.

    ¡°Just talk to them, please. I¡¯ve never asked you for anything except this. I don¡¯t like seeing them mask

    their pain when they tell me that you refused to see them yet again¡± I plead with him.

    He lets out a sigh. ¡°You have to know that I can never deny you, Ava.¡± He pauses. ¡°I¡¯ll talk to them¡± 2

    ¡°Thank you¡± I don¡¯t let it show in my voice, but I smile. Happy that he is going tomunicate with them.

    Hoping they can reconcile.

    ¡°This isn¡¯t why I called you¡±

    ¡°Okay¡± I drag out. 1

    ¡°I heard what happened to you and I wanted to make sure you and the baby are fine¡± his voice is

    soft and it brings back memories I¡¯m trying to forget.

    Gosh. If only he hadn¡¯t turned out to be a fucking liar. Maybe we would have had a future together.

    I wanted to ask him how he find out, but this is Ethan we are talking about. He has eyes and ears

    everywhere.

    ¡°Yes, the baby is doing well. I actually have an appointment today. I was just getting ready to leave

    for it.¡±

    ¡°Is it weird that I am dying to hold her?¡± he ask and I hear a hint of happiness for the first time

    since everything went to shit.

    ¡°Her? You think it¡¯s a girl?¡±

    ¡°Yes. I¡¯m convinced it¡¯s a girl¡± he answers sheepishly. I can imagine him rubbing his hand on the

    I chuckle at that ¡°I guess Noah isn¡¯t the only one rooting for a baby girl¡±

    ¡°I guess not. Are you okay with that or do you wish for another boy?¡±

    I think about it for a while before answering. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter to me whether it¡¯s a boy or girl, I

    already love him or her¡±

    And it was true. I was not in the right frame of mind when I found out I was pregnant. I didn¡¯t

    know how to react or behave given what Ethan did, but I fell in love with my baby. It didn¡¯t matter

    who the dad was. After all, Rowan hurt me more than Ethan and I still loved Noah. 12)

    ¡°I have to go. I don¡¯t want to bete for my appointment¡± I tell him. ¡°I¡¯ll write you another letter to tell you

    how it went¡±

    ¡°Okay, Ava¡­And about Reaper, don¡¯t have worry him. I promise you he won¡¯t hurt you and he will

    leave you out of his revenge n. Take care, Ava.¡±

    He doesn¡¯t give me time to answer before he hangs up the phone. I get my purse and leave for my

    appointment all the while wondering what he meant about Reaper leaving me alone. Did he do? Or did

    he have him killed or something?

 Chapter 88

    Showing up

    Rowan

    I sit or the bench nervously as I wait for Ava. I know she¡¯s going to be pissed, but I can¡¯t help this intense

    need to be around her. This intense need to be there for her.

    She¡¯d refused to tell me the date for her next appointment, so I went ahead and got it myself. I know that

    makes me a fucking bastard because Lkeep pushing, but I am used to getting my way. And right now,

    what I want is to be by her side.

    If I had my way, I would have gone and picked her up. Instead I decided toe here instead seeing as

    I¡¯ve already gone against her wishes.

    It¡¯s been so long since I¡¯ve been this nervous. The first andst time I was this nervous was when I had

    sex for the first time. I was thirteen and didn¡¯t know exactly what the fuck I was doing. It had been terrible

    given I had blown my load within seconds, leaving the girl I was fucking unsatisfied.

    Pushing those thoughts away, I focus on the door. I was a bit early. I knew I had to wait a while

    before she arrives.

    ¡°Rowan? What are you doing here?¡± her voice pulls me from my thoughts.

    I don¡¯t know how long I¡¯d been seated in that bench waiting for her. I¡¯d been so focused that I had

    missed her arrival.

    I turn to face her and my breathe catches. She was so fucking beautiful. She didn¡¯t even have to

    try. How the hell had I never noticed this before? How the fuck did I think that she couldn¡¯t hold a

    candle to Emma?

    Some might say it¡¯s the pregnancy glow, but I fucking disagree. Emma did her make up every day.

    She wouldn¡¯t leave the house until she looked perfect.

    Ava on the other hand didn¡¯t have to try. I¡¯ve seen her without make these past few weeks. With

    dark circles under her eyes. Yet she never looked more perfect to me.

    I clear my throat before answering. ¡°I told you I¡¯d be there for your every appointment¡±

    I see a cloud pass over her face. She was pissed. Really fucking pissed. She was going to blow up

    on me, but it honestly didn¡¯t even bother me.

    My eyes freely and casually run down her figure. She was wearing a figure hugging dress that not

    After roaming her body, my eyes go back to her captivating brown ones. She opens her mouth and I

    know she¡¯s about spew shit Telling me to leave. Before she can do that, I stand up, wrap my hand

    around her face, bring her body next to mine and kiss her forehead.

    She freezes Her body locking as she¡¯s stunned by my actions.

    My lips linger on her skin for a little while. I know I should let her go, but this just felt so fucking right. It¡¯s

    like she was always meant to be in my arms and she would have been if I hadn¡¯t been so fucking foolish

    and stubborn.

    I gently let her go. Her eyes were wide and her mouth dropped in shock.

    ¡°What the fuck Rowan?¡± she asks angrily when she recovers. ¡°Why the hell did you do that?¡±

    ¡°Because I wanted to. So I did¡± I say with a shrug.

    Before she can say anything else, her name is called. She gives me a scathing re before she stomps

    away. I follow her with a small smile. My eyes trained on the swing of her hips.

    Getting to the doctor¡¯s office, we find everything already set up.

    ¡°Good to see you, Ava¡± doctor Raven say with a smile before turning to me. ¡°And you too Mr. Woods¡±

    ¡°You too Raven¡± Ava replies while I just nod my head.

    I was surprised to find out that Doctor Raven is the same doctor Ava went to when she was

    pregnant with Noah. That she¡¯s the same doctor that delivered Noah and now she was going to do

    the same for this baby.

    ¡°You know the drill dear, just go over there and change, thene back and we can see how our

    little bean is doing¡±

    Taking the dressing gown from her, Ava goes into the changing room. Minutester she emerges

    and thenys down on the bed.

    ¡°Today we are going to do a transvaginal scan before doing the normal scan.¡± Doctor Raven says.

    ¡°Is there something I should be concerned about?¡±

    ¡°No, it something I do for all my patients. It¡¯s just to make sure the cervix is healthy.¡± She smiles

    at Ava. ¡°Now, I¡¯m going to insert this into your vagina, let me know if it gets ufortable for you,

    okay?¡±

    she¡¯s forgotten. I¡¯ve seen her naked before

    She pulls her legs up and Doctor Raven goes to work. Once she¡¯s done, she does the normal scan

    before switching off the machines.

    ¡°Everything is good. You¡¯re doing well and so is your baby. I¡¯m d this pregnancy is easy unlike with

    Noah¡¯s case¡± Doctor Raven says as Ava sits up

    ¡°What do you mean as with Noah¡¯s case? Did she have a difficult pregnancy?¡± fuck, what the hell did I

    miss while I was busy drowning myself in alcohol because I had lost Emma.

    Raven opens her mouth, but Ava cuts her off before she can say anything.

    ¡°Nothing¡± Ava¡¯s rushes to say, but I know she¡¯s lying because of the way her voice gets high-

    pitched at the end

    She then jumps down and literally runs to the changing room.

    Doctor Raven, gives me a sad smile before leaving the room. After a couple of minutes, Avaes

    back fully dressed. She doesn¡¯t say a thing as she takes her belongings and leaves. I follow behind

    her like a lost puppy.

    We get to reception area. She gets the date for her next appointment and gets the pictures of her

    baby.

    My phone rings and I take it absent mindedly.

    ¡°What?¡±

    I knew who the second picture belonged to. Ethan. I hate that she¡¯s in contact with him, but I also

    apud her for her maturity. If it had been me in her situation, I would have kept the baby away

    from Ethan 5

    Ava is an angel. She decided to do the right thing when it came to both Noah and the child she is

    expecting. After all, I wasn¡¯t a saint during the nine years we were together, yet she still let me

    have ess to Noah. She never even told him anything bad about me though I was aplete

    bastard to her.

    ¡°Sir, the China investors are here. They are insisting on a meeting¡± my secretary says.

    ¡°I thought they were supposed to arrive next week¡±

    They were. That¡¯s what was scheduled, but they just showed up out of nowhere¡±

    I groan in frustration. I hate it when my ns are sidetracked It pisses me off when someone can¡¯t keep

    to what was agreed

    ¡°I¡¯m not going to disrupt my ns because they woke up and just decided they¡¯re going to move up the

    meeting. They can wait till I¡¯m done with what I¡¯m doing or they can leave ande back when they

    were fucking scheduled¡±

    Those guys have been a pain in my ass since they sought us out. They were desperate for a

    coboration and usually when someone is desperate that is not a good sign. I¡¯ve been thinking of

    dropping them, but Gabe told me to give them a chance.

    ¡°Uh¨Cokay. I¡¯ll ry the information¡±

    I hang up after that. I turn just as Ava walks out of the clinic.

    ¡°Who¡¯s got you so angry?¡± she asks with a smirk. Almost as if she loves seeing me pissed off.

    ¡°Just got a call from my secretary about some investors.¡±

    I see the way her face shuts down at the mention of my secretary. A dark cloud passing over her

    face.

    ¡°You should really fire her. Christine is a fucking bitch and not only to me, but others who she

    deems below her.¡±

    I smile. ¡°I already fired her and hired a new secretary¡±

    ¡°When?¡±

    ¡°After the night of the dinner g. I didn¡¯t like how she talked about you¡±

    She looks shocked. I mean Christine had been my secretary for years. I just didn¡¯t know she was a

    My smiles falls, when I realize how I let others and myself disrespect her. She¡¯d been my wife.

    The mother of my son. I should never have let that shit slide.

    She doesn¡¯t say anything after that. Just looks at me like she can¡¯t figure me out.

    ¡°What did Doctor Raven mean when she talked about your first pregnancy?¡± I ask remembering

    what was said in the clinic.

    ¡°Can¡¯t you just let it go? It doesn¡¯t matter Noah is now healthy and everything went well. It¡¯s all in the

    past¡± she averts her eyes, but I her voice catches and I know it¡¯s painful for her to talk about it.

    ¡°Ava? Just tell me. I want to fucking know¡± I insist. I was desperate.

    Going to all these appointments with her, I realize how much I missed when she was pregnant with

    Noah. I never even got to hear his heartbeat the for the first time.

    Her eyes sh. Masking the glimpse of pain I saw in her eyes.

    ¡°Tell you what Rowan? That I was an eighteen year old pregnant girl who was scared and alone? That

    sometimes my blood pressure would spike up and I¡¯d get admitted due to stress? That the constant hate

    from my family, my husband and inws was too much that I fell into depression? How about the fact that

    the Raven told me with how my health was deteriorating, there was a chance my baby wouldn¡¯t survive?¡±

    1

    She takes a deep breath before continuing. ¡°I rarely saw you at home and when you dide all you did

    was tell me was how you hated my guts. I gave you an escape that day, but you didn¡¯t take it and

    heaven¡¯s do I wish I had fought harder to run away and get away from all of you. You told me you hated

    me without realizing that even though I loved you, I also hated you right back. Coming to that bar was the

    biggest mistake of my life. You, Rowan are the biggest mistake of my fucking life, but the thing is I can¡¯t

    take it back and I wouldn¡¯t if given a chance because that

    means regretting Noah, and I can never regret him.¡±

    ¡°Now if you¡¯re done rehashing the past and opening wounds that I¡¯m trying to heal, I¡¯m gonna

    leave. Have a nice fucking day, because you just ruined mine¡± (4)

    With that she turns away and leaves.

    I can¡¯t believe that we almost lost Noah. That all the mistreatment from me and the other caused

    her health to deteriorate. We were busy hating her, while she was suffering all alone. It breaks me

    knowing I had a hand in destroying her heart.

    I watch her as she gets into her car. My heart constricting at what an asshole I had been. I didn¡¯t

    realize it then, but I wasn¡¯t the only one who was suffering. I refused to see her side. Refused to

    see her pain. She was eighteen for fucks sake.

    She leaves. I¡¯m left staring at her car until it disappears.

    Running my hands through my hair, the gravity of the pain and hurt I put her through hits me

    like a ton of bricks. There was so much pain in her voice. So much anger. How the hell was I going

 Chapter 89

    ?Ava.

    I¡¯m still reeling from the nerve of Rowan days after my appointment. I mean how dare he pretend like he didn¡¯t know what the hell I had gone through when I was pregnant.

    Him, the Sharps and his damn family were all responsible. I almost lost my baby because of them and they still wonder why the hell I can¡¯t forgive them?

    Thinking about it just pissed me the fuck off. I was drowning yet they didn¡¯t care. They didn¡¯t bother. All because they med for that night. Did I have sex on my own? Did I drag Rowan to the bed and force myself on him? He was a willing participant yet they med me. Punished me.

    Sometimes I look back and I think that it was just an excuse. They used that night and the results to alienate me. They¡¯ve never treated me like one of them. So this was the perfect excuse for them to cut me offpletely.

    What I told Rowan was the truth. I couldn¡¯t regret him because he gave me Noah, but I do wish that I¡¯d ran away when I was pregnant. Maybe then my life would have beenpletely different.

    ¡®Everything happens for a reason, Ava¡¯ my inner voice says. ¡®The journey that you went through was meant to bring you to this moment. It was meant to bring to your parents, to Letty, to Corrine, to Calvin and Gunner. It¡¯s because of that same journey that you met Ethan and now you are expecting this precious baby. Everything happens to align for something better¡¯

    I think about it for a minute and my anger detes. She¡¯s right. I would have had a different life had I ran away, but what¡¯s to say I would have met those in my life right now? It¡¯s the same thing with Rowan. Taking back that night would mean taking back Noah and everyone that¡¯s in my life right now.

    Leaning against the sofa, I let the stress and worries go. I was determined to move on and heal. It¡¯s difficult with people digging at the wound, but like I said. I was determined.

    I was about toy down, when I heard a crash from the kitchen. I sit up straight with my heart pounding.

    Standing up, I slowly walk towards the kitchen. I used to think that those people in horror movies who used to go towards where the sound came from were stupid. Like, just ran away. Why are you heading towards what is possibly danger?

    Here I am though, behaving exactly like them even though I knew there was still danger hanging over our heads.

    I should be calling someone. The police for example, but I want to make sure it isn¡¯t Cal¡¯s dog. He has a habit of breaking into my kitchen and eating any cupcake he can find.

    Reaching the kitchen. I find no one. I move around the kitchen counter to check the back door. The ss was broken, meaning someone was inside my house.

    Panic starts to seize my heart. Not again! This time is even worse because I was alone and pregnant. I turn around about to run to the phone, but I freeze in fear.

    Reaper stands on the opposite side looking out of sorts andpletely dangerous.

    ¡°Hello, Ava¡± he greets, his voice sending shivers down my back.

    I used to think Rowan¡¯s voice is cold, but Reapers is like the Antarctica.

    I grab a knife and point it at him. ¡°Stay the fuck back¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not going to hurt you¡± he puts his arms up in surrender.

    I scoff. ¡°Could have fooled me¡±

    ¡°For real. I¡¯m not going to hurt you. I just want to talk¡± he puts his hands down and takes a seat on one of the kitchen barstools.

    I stare at him. My eyes twitching. He looks sofortable and at home. As if he hadn¡¯t just broken into my house. The same woman he had kidnapped about a week and a half ago.

    ¡°What¡¯s there to talk about? I won¡¯t be a part of your sick revenge n against Rowan. If you want to get back at him then be my guest and do it, but leave me and my son out of it¡±

    There is a flicker of an emotion in his eyes. It¡¯s gone before I can even interpret what the hell it is.

    ¡°I don¡¯t hurt kids. That¡¯s one thing we agree on in my organization.¡±

    I¡¯m surprised by this, but manage to hide it. It doesn¡¯t matter either way. Fact is he wanted to use me against Rowan.

    ¡°What are you doing here and what do you want from me?¡± I ask instead.

    ¡°Put the knife down¡± hemands.

    ¡°No way in hell. I¡¯m not stupid. If you want to talk, then talk, but the knife stays where it is¡±

    ¡°Feisty, I like that¡±

    That is definitely not something you want to hear from someone like Reaper. He seems unhinged in a really dangerous and scary way.

    ¡°What do you want Reaper?¡± I ask again.

    Fuck! If only I hadn¡¯t left my damn phone in the fucking living room. Maybe then I could have stealthily sent a message to Rowan.

    ¡°I got a message from your boyfriend¡± he says with a smirk.

    I look at him confused. What the hell was he talking about?

    ¡°What boyfriend? I don¡¯t have a fucking boyfriend¡±

    ¡°Ethan, does that name ring a bell then?¡±

    My body stills. What the hell had Ethan done? Did he even realize what he was up against? The police have been unable to catch this guy for years. That means he¡¯s really good and really powerful in the criminal world.

    ¡°You see, he sent someone to find me and kill me. You know, take care of the problem for his baby mama. What he didn¡¯t realize is that I¡¯m king of the underworld in this city and you can¡¯t order a hit on the same man that owns these gangsters¡±

    I''m not even surprised he knows so much about me.

    Shit. Shit. Please don¡¯t tell me that Ethan too has made an enemy out of Ronny. I didn¡¯t go to all the trouble of facing the man that betrayed me just so he ends up dead and doesn¡¯t get to meet his baby.

    ¡°I can¡¯t me him though¡± he continues. ¡°He doesn¡¯t realize I would never have hurt you.¡±

    ¡°W-what?¡± I stammer.

    He just goes on like I didn¡¯t speak. It was like I wasn¡¯t even in the room and he was speaking to himself.

    ¡°Sure I wanted to y with Rowan. I already knew he would choose you meaning I would have killed Emma, but even if he had chosen Emma, I wouldn¡¯t have killed you¡±

    I just stare at him. Not really sure what the hell he was talking about. Nothing about what he said was registering in my freaking head.

    ¡°What the hell are you talking about? Rowan would have chosen Emma. You were gambling my life¡±

    ¡°No he wouldn¡¯t. Maybe before, but not now. I¡¯ve been watching him. Studying him. I know for a fact that he¡¯d have let Emma die if it meant saving you. Looks like his feelings have changed. Or maybe they were always there. It took losing you to open his damn eyes¡±

    I was rendered speechless. Sure Rowan had told me he¡¯d have chosen me. I didn¡¯t listen. Now, hearing someone else say the same thing. An enemy to be exact. Has me even more confused when ites to all things Rowan.

    I shake my head. Just to clear the cobwebs.

    I stare at the menacing man in front of me. He looks so rxed. So unbothered. Which leaves me dumbfounded, because if I were him, I would be nervous knowing I could get caught any time.

    ¡°You said you wouldn¡¯t have hurt us. Then what was the point of kidnapping us?¡±

    ¡°I said I wouldn¡¯t have hurt you.¡± He emphasizes on ¡®You¡¯. ¡°Emma was fair game¡±

    This man was so damn confusing. Nothing he said made a damn sense.

    ¡°Aren¡¯t you going to ask me why?¡±

    I sigh, praying for patience, the patience I was starting to lose. I just wanted him out of my damn house.

    ¡°Why?¡±

    He smiles. This was the first smile I¡¯ve seen from him that wasn¡¯t creepy or evil.

    ¡°Because you¡¯re carrying my niece or nephew. With that fact, I can¡¯t hurt now can I?¡±

    Say what? I must be going deaf because I''m sure I didn''t hear what I think I heard.

    "That can''t be night...I have no siblings, so you can''t be my baby''s uncle unless you''re..."

    That''s when it fucking hits. Like a ton of fucking bricks. Shit why was this happening to me. As if I didn''t have enough to worry. Now I''m stressed about my child having a psychotic uncle.

    "I see you''ve figured it out he leans forward expectantly. "Quite a clever girl"

    "Does he know?" I ask slowly. My head still jumbled.

    "No. He doesn''t remember. I was around twelve and Ethan was one when I was sent to juvie for a mission my dad had ordered me to do. I didn''t really know that it was a crime or that he was grooming me to take his ce. By the time I got out, dad was already dead and Ethan has already been adopted."

    He''s quiet for a while. The memories ying in his eyes. Unlike the man Rowan killed, Ronny was born into this life. Forced into it as a child. I see it as clearly as day.

    "Why didn''t you get him when you got out and were old enough?" I ask. Making him look at me.

    "I love my brother. I couldn''t do that to him. I couldn''t corrupt him with the life we were born into. He was happy and loved. Something that he wouldn''t have had with our dad. It would have been different had he been in the system or had your parents treated him like your adopted parents treated you. I saw how they loved him, so I left him even though it hurt me. It was the only way to give him a chance at a normal life"

    Damn it. I didn''t want my heart to soften towards him. A man who would sacrifice a rtionship with his brother just so he had a good life couldn''t be that bad, right?

    "It didn''t stop him from ending up in prison though?" I whisper.

    Even after all that sacrifice, Ethan still ended up doing some terrible crimes then ended up in prison.

    "Yeah. Should have kept monitoring him after. Maybe then I would have helped him avoid prison"

    "Probably by helping hime up with a better n of killing me I say sarcastically,

    The evil smileses back in ce. "How else would I help him solve his dilemma? I''ve killed my share or people so of course I would have a few pointers on how to do it and not get caught."

    I should have been scared but I wasn''t. Not anymore.

    It''s as we were talking that I realized that I had somehow ced the knife down. It wasn''t clutched in a tight grip anymore.

    "So what do you want from me? Seeing you''re here, there has to be reason

    He nods his head. "Yes. I want a chance to get to know my niece or nephew. I''ve gone so

    long without a family. I want that again"

    "You do realize you''re a wanted criminal"

    "Yes" he gives me a dazzling smile as if the fact that he was a criminal is a good thing. "I promise my business won''t touch him or her, plus you and your kids will have my protection for life."

    I watch him. Study him. He may be bat shit crazy, but I see the truth in his eyes. He wasn''t lying. He was looking for a familial tie.

    "On one condition" I tell him. "Tell Ethan the truth"

    "Deal"

    He gives me his hand. I tentatively give him mine and we shake on it. I was a bit scared, I mean, I just made a deal with a criminal, but for some reason this felt right. Maybe I was just as crazy as he was because none of what I was doing made any sense.

 Chapter 90

    Late Realizations.

    Rowan.

    I stare at the door, wondering what the hell I was doing here. I should give Ava her space, but fuck it. I

    can¡¯t seem to stay away from her. I¡¯m drawn to her in a way I can¡¯t fucking exin.

    Knocking, I wait rather impatiently for the door to be opened. A minuteter, the door opens

    revealing Noah.

    ¡°Dad¡± he throws himself at him and I catch him. ¡°I thought I would have to wait till Saturday to

    see you¡±

    I hug him close to me. Feeling myself rx and melt. ¡°Hey buddy¡±

    How could I ever have hated Ava? I wonder. She gave me the best gift when she gave birth to Noah. I

    should have appreciated her then instead of punishing her. The night I thought was the

    worst night of my life, brought about the best gift I could have gotten.

    I didn¡¯t see it then because I had my head so up my ass I couldn¡¯t see straight. My eyes are opened

    now. I see it so fucking clearly. Ava was right. I used to regret that night not realizing that without

    there wouldn¡¯t be Noah and no matter what, I would never regret my son.

    that night happening

    ¡°Come in. Mom is in the shower. She said she needed to soak her tired, aching bones.¡± He informs

    me. ¡°I¡¯m having my dinner and there is enough. You can have some if you haven¡¯t eaten dinner

    yet¡±

    He leads me into the kitchen. He gets on the stool and resumes eating after pointing to the food. I

    shamelessly take a te and pile food on it.

    I didn¡¯t appreciate it when we were married. Taking the small things for granted. I admit that I¡¯ve missed

    her cooking.

    ¡°So¡­Mom is a real catch¡± Noah begins making, me turn to him.

    ¡°Yes¡± I agree, not really sure where he was going with this.

    ¡°A lot of good looking guys want her¡­just a few days ago there was a man here who¡¯de to visit her.

    I wonder who¡¯ll get her as his wife¡± he says it so casually, but I see the smirk he is trying to hide.

    ¡°What man?¡±

    I try to contain the jealousy, but it¡¯s fucking hard. The need to scream that Ava is mine is intense. ¡°I don¡¯t

    remember his name, but mom said that he was her new friend¡± the smirk is still in ce as he say that

    ¡°He was scary looking but I liked him, now I don¡¯t know who I like better for mom. Him or Uncle Cal. He

    had tattoos which Uncle Cal doesn¡¯t and from what I know women dig tattoos

    and abs

    I re at him, but he just chuckles

    Fuck it. I know he was trying to make me jealous and I should let it go, but I can¡¯t. I have never

    liked my son less than I did at that moment.

    ¡°Noah, who was at the door?¡± her voicees from the other room, interrupting me before I can

    say anything.

    She walks into the kitchen in a robe. Her hair is wet and her face is free from makeup. She looks so

    damn beautiful that I can¡¯t put it into words. The robe leaves nothing to the imagination and I

    want nothing but to tear it from her body.

    ¡°Rowan? What are you doing here?¡± she ask, her face changing into an indifference mask.

    I hate that too. She used to be so expressive, now I barely know what she¡¯s feeling or thinking.

    ¡°Rowan?¡± she calls again.

    I don¡¯t know what to fucking tell her. How am I supposed to tell her that I missed her? That I just

    wanted to see her.

    ¡°I¡¯m out of here. Don¡¯t forget to tell me when you¡¯re leaving, dad¡± Noah breaks through the tense

    atmosphere.

    He doesn¡¯t wait for us to say anything before he flees the room. Within seconds we are left alone.

    ¡°Who is the man Noah was talking about?¡± I ask standing up and getting close to her.

    ¡°What man?¡± she tries backing away from me, but there is nowhere to go.

    ¡°The one among your many suitors¡± my voice turns hard. I was jealous and pissed off because I wanted

    her to my fucking self. (2)

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re talking about or what he was talking about.¡± She sasses. ¡°Could you just

    leave? It¡¯ste at night and you shouldn¡¯t be here¡±

    ¡°And why is that? Is it so you can entertain one of the many men who Noah seems to think are interested

    in bing your new husband¡± I growl.

    I was pushing it. Pushing her, but I just didn¡¯t care. Not when envy was boiling in my blood. Or bitterness

    was clouding my brain cells.

    ¡°What is wrong with you? I don¡¯t entertain any man¡± she whisper¨Cshouts at me.

    It doesn¡¯t faze me as I walk closer to her.

    Wrapping my hands around her waist, I bring her closer to me. I feel every inch of her body. Her belly

    and her breast are pressed close to my chest and abs. I harden when I feel the hardened

    peaks of her breast.

    What I felt was more than arousal. It was something else. Something much more potent.

    ¡°Get you fucking hands off me¡± she shrieks but I still don¡¯t let her go. Instead I press closer to her

    while being mindful of her baby bump.

    She tries to push me away, but I¡¯m solid. She can¡¯t move me. Not only because I was stronger than

    her, but because I couldn¡¯t pull myself off her even if I¡¯d wanted. She felt perfect in my arms. I

    could stay with her like this forever.

    ¡°Not a chance, Ava. Why would I when this is exactly where I want you? You¡¯re mine¡±

    ¡°What the hell are you talking about? I¡¯m not yours. I¡¯ve never been yours. Now let me go before Noah

    finds us like this and thinks we are getting back together¡±

    ¡°Noah will be happy. About the other thing, you will always be mine and I won¡¯t let you whore yourself to

    other men when you fucking belong to me¡± 14

    Her eyes twitches. Fire burning inside her brown orbs. I don¡¯t see her hand move. The punches as a

    surprise, so because of the shock I release her. 1

    ¡°Whoring myself? First of all, I was a fucking virgin when we slept together for the first time in case

    you¡¯ve forgotten. Second, I can fuck whoever I want. I am a free woman and nothing is holding me back

    from sleeping with men who actually want me. Men who aren¡¯t thinking of the love of their fucking life

    while they¡¯re buried deep inside me¡± (4

    I knew those words were going toe back to bite me in the fucking ass. 3

    ¡°Ava¡­¡±

    ¡°No! What the hell do you want Rowan? Because I just don¡¯t get it. You yourself told me that you slept

    with me while imagining Emma. You told I was just an object for scratching an itch. That I would never be

    the woman you want, so what the hell are you doing here? Why won¡¯t you leave

    me the hell aione?¡±

    There are so many things I want to tell her. To exin to her. The words instead get stuck in my throat. I

    don¡¯t know how to express my feelings to her.

    ¡°I do want you, Ava. So fucking much¡± my voice turns soft and it shocks both of us.

    ¡°Why now? We were married for nine years. Nine fucking years. How then can you be this- this¡±

    she struggles to find the right word.

    ¡°This what?¡±

    ¡°Interested. How can you all of a sudden be interested in me when you¡¯ve ignored me for the entire

    length of our marriage? It¡¯s just not making any sense.¡±

    She had me there, but how can I exin something that I didn¡¯t understand myself? I don¡¯t know

    where my feelings came from or when they came to be.

    ¡°Is it too difficult to ept that I want you?¡± I ask instead.

    ¡°Yes it is! You¡¯ve hated me for so long, so yes, it¡¯s hard to believe that you are now attracted to me.

    It seems so farfetched.¡±

    The words were on the tip on my words. The name of the emotion I¡¯ve been trying to figure out.

    The feeling I have for her.

    ¡°Please leave Rowan. You¡¯re just confused. Even if you are attracted to me, it doesn¡¯t mean

    anything.¡±

    ¡°It means something. It means we have something to work with¡± I insist almost to the point of begging.

    ¡°No it doesn¡¯t. Not when I can still clearly hear your voice in my head telling me that you were using my

    body as a substitute for Emma¡¯s¡±

    I want to say more, but I know that she already has enough of me. She was already drained and I was

    making things worse for her.

    ¡°Okay then, I¡¯ll leave for now. Please just call Noah for me so I can say goodbye¡±

    She nods her head and goes to cell our son Hoshes back, but Ava doesn¡¯t Ignoring the

    questioning look on his face, 1 tell him good bye before leaving I make sure he¡¯s locked the door

    before driving away

    This wasn¡¯t over. Not by a long shot. I wasn¡¯t going to give up on her that easily

    It was as I was driving that the realization hit me. I had to pull over so that I don¡¯t get into an ident as

    the gravity of everything hit me

    My heart almost copses in itself, as I¡¯m finally able to name the feeling I have for Ava. The feeling I

    was too blind to realize what exactly it is.

    Love

    Fuck. I love Ava. 7

    That realizationses with fear and crashing quilt. I all but destroyed her heart. I fucking killed

    the love she had for me. How the hell was I going to fix that?

    I was a dumb shit. I fucking love her, but would she ever believe me or even give me a chance?

    Karma was truly a fucking bitch.

    Evelyn M.M

    Important Notice

    Hey loves, I want first of all to thank you for all your continued support. You¡¯ve all been so

    amazing with your love for this book. It wouldn¡¯t be where it is without your love and support.

    Thank you for the gemstones,ments and reviews they havee a long way in helping to

    rank this book. With that being said, pretty please vote if you haven¡¯t already and remember to

    leave a review if you¡¯vee this far with me.

    I also want to let you know that I¡¯ll be taking a break thising week. I¡¯m supposed to be moving

    to a new ce and I haven¡¯t done any packing yet. I won¡¯t stay gone long. A maximum of one week

    should be enough to finish what I¡¯m required to do and then I¡¯ll be back after that.

    Lastly I want to address the issue of updates. I¡¯ll be updating daily in November except on the weekends.

    Because of your insistence, I¡¯ll be alternating between two chapters a day and one. I h ope that will be

    enough since my goal is toplete it by December. I don¡¯t want it dragged out. W ith how tight my

    schedule is, it¡¯s the best I can do. I hope you can understand.

    That¡¯s all for now. Thanks for your understanding, I¡¯ll be seeing you in a few days. Bye, take care and

    stay safe.>

 Chapter 91

    Gabe.

    I groan in ecstasy as I release my load onto her back. This was just what I needed. The best way Iknew to unwind and rx.

    ¡°So when will we do this again, Tomorrow?¡± she asks, her eyes shining.

    She looks more rxed. I guess she needed this just as much as I did. I help her wipe my cum off her back, but I don¡¯t say anything. She knows the drill. I call she answers, not the other way around.

    After I¡¯m done, she starts getting dresses. It¡¯s past ten at night and I want to get some shut eye before my busy schedule tomorrow.

    Like I said, she knows the drill. She doesn¡¯t spend the night and vice versa. We are nothing more than F*** buddies.

    ¡°Gabriel?¡±

    She¡¯s the only one that calls me by my full name. I hate it the name. Mainly because it reminds me of the archangel when I am literally the opposite of an angel.

    ¡°Shut it. You don¡¯t call the shots. We¡¯ll do this when I decide¡± I growl, already feeling suffocated by her damn question.

    I see an emotion simr to hurt pass through her features. I ignore it. She knew very well what she was getting into when she agreed to this.

    ¡°So meanwhile I wait till it¡¯s my turn? I wait till you¡¯re bored with your other women?¡± she whispers.

    I¡¯ve never kept it a secret. She knew she wasn¡¯t the only F*** buddy I had. I liked variety. Today I was in the mood for having a taste of her. It might be the same tomorrow. Or I might develop a taste for someone else.

    ¡°Yes¡± I tell her firmly.

    The light that was shining in her eyes dims. She tries her best, but I see her fighting her emotions. Fighting the hurt I had caused.

    Fuck! I hate this. Hate it when they develop feelings. We¡¯ve had this arrangement for two years and it worked fine until now. Looks like it¡¯s time to nip this at the bud.

    She didn¡¯t have time to date and I don¡¯t date. So this became the best solution. Besides, she¡¯s just my secretary. Even if I were to date her, she wouldn¡¯t fit in my word.

    ¡°I thought you could handle this, but I guess it was a mistake. So this will be thest time we

    F***. You¡¯ll continue working for me like nothing ever happened between us, am I understood,

    Eden?¡±

    She stares at me. Her eyes spearing mine.

    ¡°I don¡¯t think I can do this anymore¡± she whispers. Tears filling her eyes¡°I love you, but I see that

    will never love me. For some reason you¡¯ve closed off your heart and I can¡¯t keep sleeping with

    you knowing that you¡¯ll never reciprocate my love¡±

    She was a damn good secretary, but to hell with it.

    ¡°I guess it¡¯s time for you to write a resignation letter, isn¡¯t it?¡± I smirk, mocking her.

    She doesn¡¯t reply. Just shakes her head before she turns around and quietly leaves. I sigh, but I don¡¯t follow her. Instead I use my phone to unlock the gates for her. Once she¡¯s gone, I copse on my bed.

    She¡¯s right. I closed my heart off. Promising myself that I will never fall in love. Sure my parents have an amazing marriage, and they love each other so much, but their case is one in a million.

    I¡¯ve seen how love can F***ing destroy you. Seen how it can kill you on the inside and leave you as nothing but a shell.

    Love all but destroyed Rowan when he lost Emma. It was like living with a zombie for months, until Noah was born. He used to drink himself to oblivion. Seeing all this why would I give any woman such immense power over me? Why would I give them the weapon to destroy me?

    He was destroyed when things went to shit with Emma and now? Now I am afraid of the same thing happening.

    He doesn¡¯t realize it yet. That he loves Ava. When it finally hits him, it will destroy him. Knowing that he has hurt the woman he loves over and over again.

    I release a breath I was holding and go to the bathroom for a shower. Ten minutester and I am still anxious. I don¡¯t know what was causing it, but I have a good damn feeling that it was Rowan.

    I get out of the shower, dry myself and put on a pair of sweats. I was just about to get my phone and call my brother when my security system unlocks. There is only one other person who has authorization. Rowan.

    I get downstairs in time to see him stumbling through my front door.

    ¡°Rowan? What the hell man?¡± I ask as I help him up, supporting his weight.

    He was drunk. It wasn¡¯t a hard guess. He usually stays clear from drinking too much because of what happened. Today things seem different. It F***ing worried me because thest time he drunk this much was during his dark times.

    I help him take a seat then take mine beside him.

    ¡°What happened Ro?¡± I ask worriedly.

    ¡°You were right. Fucking right as always¡± he stammers. ¡°I messed up big time. How the hell am I going to fix what I destroyed with my bare hands?¡±

    I feel the pain in his voice and it kills me. I love my brother more than anything. When he suffers,

    I suffer right along with him. I would do anything to take away his pain. His heartaches. But I know I can¡¯t. Not really anyway.

    ¡°Exin to me why you think you¡¯ve messed up and where exactly have you messed up?¡±

    He looked distraught. Like his world just copsed down on him.

    ¡°I love her Gabe. I F***ing love¡± he yells.

    ¡°Who?¡±

    ¡°Ava!¡± he shouts. ¡°I F***ing love her. It hit me today¡±

    And it hit him hard. This is what I was afraid of. When he finally realizes the F***ing truth. My prediction came to pass. The realization is his undoing.

    ¡°Why didn¡¯t I realize it sooner? Why did it take me this long? She¡¯ll never believe me if I were to tell her that I loved her. I all but killed her love for me. Spent most of the nine years making her pay for that night. I hurt her so F***ing much. She¡¯ll never believe me¡±

    A tear drops down his face. Pain marking his grey eyes that are simr to mine. I feel my heart lurch as waves of pain radiate from him.

    ¡°What am I going to do? How am I going to fix all that 1 broke? How the F*** am I supposed to mend her broken heart when I broke it?¡±

    I grip his shoulder and bring him to me. Rowan isn¡¯t one to show weakness. Even when Emma left him, he didn¡¯t show how broken he was. He didn¡¯t cry. Didn¡¯tment on how he would fix it. He didn¡¯t agonize on how he would fix what was shattered. He just drank.

    His shoulders shake as he tries to fight his emotions. My heart goes to him. He is my twin and I

    F***ing hate seeing him like this. I have no idea how to help him.

    Nine years of pain and heartache wasn¡¯t going to be easy to fix. Ava had grown into herself. Risen up from the ashes like a damn phoenix. She wasn¡¯t going to easily allow those that hurt here near her.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know Ro, but you¡¯re Rowan F***ing Woods and you always get what you want. You¡¯re going to fix this and you¡¯re going to get Ava back. You never quit, so don¡¯t start now¡±

    He straightens and looks forward. His eyes staring at nothing. Completely lost in his mind.

    ¡°What if she doesn¡¯t take me back?¡± he whispers more to himself.

    This isn¡¯t my brother. Rowan is assured and confident. The fact he is doubting himself just proves the power Ava has over him. I F***ing believe she has more power than Emma ever had.

    The love he had for Emma was young and easy. Puppy love. That¡¯s why it neversted. That¡¯s why it crumbled at the first sign of trouble. I believe, though not entirely sure that what he may feel for

    Ava may be stronger. Way F***ing stronger.

    ¡°You¡¯ll just have to give it your best¡± I whisper back.

    We stay seated, lost in our own heads, until he falls asleep. I stand up and help him to one of the bedrooms. The one he uses while he is here.

    I deposit him on the bed and watch him for a while as he struggles even in his sleep. I want to be confident that he will win Ava back, but I am not. Nine F***ing years. That¡¯s how long he has hurt her.

    I would be surprised if Ava gave him a chance after that. I can only hope. Hope that the love she had for him isn¡¯t entirely gone, because I¡¯m not sure he¡¯ll survive losing her.

 Chapter 92

    Rowan.

    My eyes snap open. Rays of light hitting me square in the face. I groan in pain. My head was pounding as if there was someone using it as a F***ing drum.

    It takes a while to register that I am in my room, in Gabe¡¯s house. It¡¯s something we both did. Hehas a room at my house, and I have one in his.

    Groaning, I stand up and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under it. Using myhands for support, I lean against the wall and try to put my jumbled thoughts in order. I don¡¯t remember much ofst night except drinking.

    Fuck! How the hell did I get here? How is it possible that I fell in love with Ava and didn¡¯t realize it sooner?

    The moment the realization hit me, I went straight to the club. I rarely get drunk. I promised myself not to ever get butt drunk after Noah was born. Normally, I just take a ss or two, and that¡¯s enough. Yesterday, though, I needed it. I needed it badly.

    There is no remedy for what I was feeling. No F***ing cure. How do you even begin to deal with the realization that you love the woman that you hated? The same woman you spent nine F***ing years hurting?

    I sigh and get out of the bathroom. Feeling like I have aged at least thirty years. I haven¡¯t been this out of sorts in years.

    After getting dressed, I head downstairs. I find Gabe having breakfast.

    ¡°Where is June?¡± I ask, referring to his housekeeper.

    ¡°She¡¯s made us breakfast and left. She said that she wanted an early start to the market so she could get fresh veggies.¡±

    June had a thing against buying from grocery stores. For some reason, she believed that they weren¡¯t as fresh or organic as they wanted us to believe. She buys all vegetables, fruits, meat, eggs, and milk from the local market, which is owned by a bunch of farmers.

    ¡°How are you feeling?¡± Gabe asks as I pour myself some coffee.

    ¡°Like I¡¯ve been hit by a truck.¡±

    When I realized that I loved Ava, part of me wanted to rush back to her house and tell her immediately. I would have if my rational side hadn¡¯t won. It was too soon to tell her. She wouldn¡¯thave believed me at all.

    I¡¯ve never been scared, but with this new awareness, I was F***ing terrified. Is this how she usedto feel? Loving me but also knowing that I hate her?

    About yesterday,¡± Gabe begins, ¡°I thought you swore never to get drunk ever again.¡±

    ¡°I know, but I needed it. I needed to numb the pain. You can¡¯t understand how difficult it was to realize that I love Ava. That all this time I¡¯ve caused her nothing but pain. It was suffocating me toknow that I may have lost my chance with her all because I couldn¡¯t let go of my bitterness¡±

    I pretend I don¡¯t notice it every time I show up to pick Noah up, and she frowns at me in disapproval. Or when, at times, she looks at me with nothing but hate and resentment.

    I ignore it, trying to let it not affect me because I crave her. I follow her around like a damn lost puppy, begging for any scraps of affection she¡¯ll give me. Even if it¡¯s bitterness, I take it because it¡¯s the only way to be near her.

    I never thought of what she went through at my hands. What she is dishing out is nothingpared to what I did to her. Yet it still F***ing hurts. How the hell did she survive me for those nine F***ing years?

    She wants nothing to do with me. Wants me to bepletely out of her life for good. I want to give her that because she deserves better, but I can¡¯t let her go no matter how I F***ing try.

    ¡°How did that happen? Thest time I checked asks me, looking puzzled. were sure you were in love with Emma.¡± Gabe

    ¡°Yes, but weren¡¯t you the one that insisted that I had suppressed feelings for Ava?¡±

    I remember how adamant he was about that. He wouldn¡¯t let it go, even after I told him countless times that I wasn¡¯t in love with Ava. I guess he just knows me better than I know myself. He saw something I didn¡¯t want to recognize.

    ¡°My gut was telling me you loved Ava, but your insistence at times made me doubt that maybe I was wrong.¡±

    I sigh. ¡°You were F***ing right. My only wish is that I had relegalized this sooner. Maybe then itwould have been easier to mend what I broke¡±

    I stare off into space. Lost in the bitter memories. Memories where I had her, but instead ofcherishing her I ruined her. I broke her. My actions and words chipped at her heart slowly byslowly until there was nothing left.

    I honestly don¡¯t wish to be in your shoes¡± Gabe whistles and I re at him. ¡°But you still haven¡¯t answered me. I want to know when it happened. When did you fall for her?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. I can¡¯t pinpoint the exact time. Maybe it happened when we were still married, or maybe it¡¯s a recent thing. All I know is that I love her now.¡±

    I run my hand through my hair. I was frustrated and F***ing scared. What a lousy time to realize you love someone!

    ¡°I think it was always there. Probably came after Noah was born. I also think you didn¡¯t allow yourself to love her because you held on to the memory of Emma. She was your first love, so youassumed she was your true love. You can¡¯t live with someone for nine years and not feel a thing for them. I know you, Ro. You wouldn¡¯t even have touched her if you didn¡¯t feel something for her.¡±

    ¡°Sex is a biological process. I just got what I needed from her while still hating her. I am ashamed to say there were times I imagined she was Emma.¡± I tell him, feeling sick to the core at how I treated her.

    ¡°Really? Did you imagine you were F***ing Emma because you missed her or because you needed something to hold you back? Something that would guard you from enjoying the intimacy between you and Ava because you felt that enjoying S** with her would be a betrayal to the memories of Emma that you held on to for dear life?¡±

    I sit on the stoolpletely dumbfound

    I thought about it like that. I admit I was attracted to her; otherwise, how would I exin how the hell I was able to get it up and going?

    Maybe Gabe was right, and I used Emma as an escape from what I truly felt for Ava.

    In my head, I had already betrayed the love of my life once; how then could I betray her over and

    over again by sleeping with and enjoying Ava¡¯s b*dy? It all made sense in my head then, but now

    I¡¯m starting to realize that Emma was never the love of my F***ing life.

    ¡°Fuck. I messed up big time,¡± I holler, feeling like a crashing weight was on my shoulders.

    ¡°Do you love Emma?¡± he asks and I shake my head in a no.

    ¡°Are you sure? Is all the love you had for herpletely gone?¡± i think about it for a minute before answering.

    ¡°Tes When she first came back, I thought that it would be our second chance at love. It took a while to realize that it felt all kinds of wrong. I didn¡¯t even allow her to k*ss me for F***s sake

    That should have been my first clue that I was done with her. That and the jealousy I felt towards Ethan¡±

    I can¡¯t begin to exin the rage I felt every time imagined Ava and Ethan together. It was allconsuming and vtile.

    I guess it took losing her to make you realize what you felt for her. It took seeing her happy with another man to bring forth the love you suppressed. You held on to Emma because of the way things ended abruptly between the two of you. None of you got any closure. That¡¯s why you held on to each other¡¯s memories for so long¡±

    I get what he is saying, and F*** does it make sense, but it doesn¡¯t help my case. So much damage has already been done. I said words I could never take back. Did things that will forever be imprinted on her mind. I destroyed her with my own two hands.

    ¡°What are you going to do?¡± he asks me after a while.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. I was blinded by Emma before, but not anymore. Ava is F***ing beautiful, and she can get any man she wants. There are already some who are sniffing around her, as Noah clearly likes informing me.

    I feel so dejected. What is to stop her from falling in love with someone else?

    She was not only beautiful but also intellige and she loves fiercely. Any man would be luck, aring, kind, and loving. She has a heart of gold, have her.

    I mean, F***, she was able to change Ethan. I saw it in his eyes. He had fallen for her. Any woman who is capable of making a man change his ways is a F***ing saint. I was a F***ing idiot for not realizing the treasure I had.

    Gabe ps me on the shoulder. ¡°I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll figure it out. I¡¯m positive of that¡±

    I wish I was as confident in myself as he was in me, because deep down I know I don¡¯t deserve her, and my biggest fear is losing her to someone who does deserve her love.

 Chapter 93

    Ava

    "Howyou doing? mom asks through the phone. ¡°And how are the baby and Noah?

    Once again they were out of the country for a business meeting. It didn¡¯te as a surprise to me that they had their own private jet since Rowan did too. He had his own and there was also a family one. I have never used his. Never been inside it. Probably because we rarely went to any trips together.

    When my wealth rose to great heights, I thought of buying a jet of my own, but I quickly shot the idea down. What the hell would I use it for? I rarely went anywhere that will necessitate me needing one of my own. If I had to go somewhere, I usually hired one or I¡¯d just fly business ss.

    ¡°Ava?

    ¡°Sorry mom. We¡¯re all doing well. We just miss you guys so much¡±

    And it was true. They¡¯ve been gone for a week and they¡¯ll be away for another week. Noah and I missed them like crazy. It¡¯s surprising how they¡¯ve be such a big part of our lives in such a short time,

    ¡°We miss you too. Your dad says hi by the way. He said he¡¯ll talk to you in the evening when he isn¡¯t so busy¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s all right¡±

    ¡°So, have you bought anything new for the b

    our months isn¡¯t long. Soon he or she will be here¡± just as always, excitement rings in her voice when she talks about the baby.

    ¡°How am I supposed to buy anything when everyone around me already has? This baby will have more than in enough and a lot to choose from¡± Iugh.

    The baby¡¯s room was full of stuff. I thought that mom, dad, Letty and Corrine were bad. That was before Reaper came into the picture.

    He has been sending cute little gifts since I allowed him to be part of his or her life. I don¡¯t even get when or where he goes shopping when he is in hiding. Everything he has bought is in color pink. Just like with Noah and Ethan, he also believes that it will be a baby girl.

    My smile falls as soon as thoughts of him pass through my mind. I know I promised him, but I not have gotten along with Father, but he still raised me.

    I can¡¯t wait for the baby to be bom. I missed Noah¡¯s birth so I¡¯m making up with this baby¡± her voice pulls me from my ck thoughts.

    Can I call you back mom? I was meeting up with Letty and Corrine for a lunch date and I see them pulling up

    It probably wasn¡¯t them, but my mood had already been shot down to hell.

    ¡°Sure. Talk to youter. I love you Ava¡±

    I love you too mom¡± I say, then hang up the phone.

    I sigh as I ce my phone down at the table. The moment I do that, my conflicting thoughts immediately attack.

    Father wasn¡¯t the only issue associated with Reaper. There was also Rowan. Sure, he wasn¡¯t my favorite person, but he was Noah¡¯s father. Reaper was hell bent on revenge and losing Rowan would destroy Noah.

    There was also the likelihood that he would go after those Rowan loved. Noah loved the same people, well except for Emma that is. I just didn¡¯t know what to do because part of me felt like I had made a mistake giving him a chance. The other part just told me to trust my instincts and my instincts told me it was the right move.

    ¡°What are you thinking so hard about?¡± Corrine¡¯s voice startles me.

    ¡°Fuck, you scared me¡± I put my hand on my as if that would slow down my beating hard.

    ¡°Sorry. I thought you saw meing in¡± she says looking sheepish.

    I was so lost in my thoughts that I hadn¡¯t realized that they had entered the private booth.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay¡­I just have a lot on mind¡±

    ¡°Care to share?¡± Letty asks, taking her seat.

    I shake my head. ¡°Not really¡±

    It¡¯s not that I didn¡¯t want to share, it¡¯s just that I didn¡¯t know how to. How do I even begin telling them that the criminal everyone is tirelessly searching for is my baby¡¯s uncle? Or that we have been in contact and as if that wasn¡¯t worse I permitted him to be in my baby¡¯s life?

    Does this have to do with Rowan again?¡± Letty leans forward. Her eyes sparkling for some odd reason. Travis said that Rowan called him a few days ago and he was butt drunk¡±

    I frown at that. I can¡¯t remember thest time Rowan got drunk. He stopped drinking too much after Ncan was born. Plus he¡¯s gone radio silent since that night he showed up unexpectedly atmy house.

    I still can¡¯t believe that I punched him. It felt good because I¡¯ve wanted to do that for a long time.

    ¡°Why was he drunk?¡± Corrine asks, seeming curious.

    Letty shrugs her shoulders as she answers. ¡°Neither Travis or I know, but I bet Gabe knows and I double bet that Ava has an idea?

    They both turn to look at me expectantly. I shift ufortably on my chair.

    ¡°Spill it, Ava¡± Lettymands.

    ¡°Honestly, I don¡¯t know anything. Thest time I saw him, he turned up unexpectedly at my house at night. His behavior was odd so I asked him to leave¡±

    ¡°Describe odd?¡± Corrine pushes.

    ¡°He got jealous when Noah mentioned that Re-¡± I catch myself before I can say his name. ¡°Noah mentioned something about suitors and he went ballistic saying I belonged to him and he wasn¡¯t going to allow me to whore myself to other men¡±

    I still get pissed when I remember his words. Like what the hell was wrong with him? I belonged to him? Since when? Plus I am not a F***ing object. I am a human being.

    ¡°Ooh, so possessive. I never thought I would see the day when Rowan bes possessive towards you¡± Letty says all dreamy.

    I just look at her like she was losing her grip on reality.

    ¡°You can¡¯t be serious, Letty. This is Rowan we are talking about. The same man that told me over and over again that I meant nothing to him. That he would never love me because he hates my

    F***ing guts¡±

    The pain I used to feel was mainly reced by anger. All the heartbreak I went through and all for what? He is still a thorn on my side.

    ¡°I honestly think he hase to the realization that he wants you. Why do you think he wants to

    ¡°Even if that¡¯s true, which I highly doubt, it doesn¡¯t matter It¡¯s a little toote. I gave him countless opportunities during the nine years we were married and he wasted them all. He gave me nothing return except pain. I just don¡¯t see things the way you guys do¡±

    They¡¯re quiet Both staring at me like they want to say something, but don¡¯t know how. For now, all I want is to let this Rowan issue go. I don¡¯t want to think about him or his sudden change in behavior. I already had too much on my te without adding him to the mix.

    ¡°Look, I know you guys want to see me happy and for some reason you think I¡¯ll find that happiness with Rowan, but you¡¯re wrong. Our rtionship was doomed from the moment we said ¡® I do¡® years ago. We are toxic for each other. I loved him and hated him at the same time while he only hated me. I tried transforming myself into something I¡¯m not just so he would love me and that didn¡¯t work. Even if I were to try now, it wouldn¡¯t work. The love I had for him is buried under tons of pain, heartbreak, resentment and bitterness. So please I beg you, let¡¯s just let this issue go okay?¡±

    You can¡¯t force the heart to want something it doesn¡¯t. That¡¯s what Corrine and Letty were trying to do. Force feelings that didn¡¯t exist. They want me to get my fairytale ending and they believe that will only happen with Rowan. Why couldn¡¯t they understand that just because they want him to love me doesn¡¯t make it a reality?

    Sure, Rowan was acting differently, but I believe it¡¯s just a phase. Men like what they can¡¯t have. He wants me now because he can¡¯t have me. Soon enough he¡¯ll get bored of the chase and go back to his true love. If I give in I¡¯ll be left in another load of heartbreak after he realizes I am not what he wants.

    ¡°Let¡¯s just focus on what we came here forthem after silence descends on us.."

    ¡°Alright¡± Corrine replies.

    ¡°Fine¡± Letty grumbles.

    I sigh in relief. Happy they were willing to let it go for now. I know Letty will look for an opportunity to bring it up again, but I¡¯ll deal with it when she does.

    ¡°Can we go to an ice cream shop or something? For some reason this fancy ass ce is getting on my nerves with all the snobbish waiters and waitresses¡± Letty says out of nowhere.

    ¡°We could go to my restaurant¡± Corrine adds.

    I don¡¯t know why they didn¡¯t think of that in the first ce. Instead of saying anything, I keep quiet

    ¡°Nah. Have you ever been to an ice cream shop or a fast food restaurant?¡± Letty turns to face

    Comine whose eyes shift nervously.

    She shakes her head. ¡°Not really¡±

    ¡°Great Today is your lucky day. We¡¯ll have lunch at a fast food restaurant then have a froyo or ice cream at an ice cream shop, then we¡¯ll head to your office to discuss our business progress so far¡±

    I smile at the deer caught in headlights look that Corrine has stered on her face. It¡¯s time we introduce her to the normal world. Which in my opinion is way better than the stuck up peoplewho surround us.

    Letty pulls Corrine up, while I stand up.

    ¡°What if I get food poisoning? I heard that such restaurants aren¡¯t entirely hygienic when they handle food.¡± Corrineins as she tries to wiggle out of Letty¡¯s grasp.

    ¡°So what? You¡¯ll get a bad case of diarrhea and after a few days of pooping your intestines off,you¡¯ll be good to go. Trust me. This fancy stuff has nothing on greasy food¡± Letty answers.

    Laughing, I walk behind them as I listen to their banter. It was so refreshing.

    I was contemting on how thankful I am for having such friends, when her bitter voice kills every single joy I was feeling.

    ¡°Look what we have here? It¡¯s the pregnant whore¡±

    I turn to my side to find Christine staring at me with nothing but hatred in her eyes. As if that wasn¡¯t enough, Emma was standing right next to her.

    I close my eyes and let out a breath while wondering why the hell did god hate me so much.

 Chapter 94

    I look to the heavens before calming myself. I didn''t need a lot of stress right now.

    "Hello Christine, hello Emma," I say in a controlled voice.

    I didn''t want to deal with drama today. So I was going to be as civil as I could, then remove myself from this situation.

    Christine scoffs, but I don''t pay her any attention. My focus was on Emma. She still had the sling around her shoulder. Seeing it there reminded me of that day. The way she willingly took a bullet for me.

    I wanted to reach out to her after that incident, but I wasn''t sure if my actions would be weed. In her eyes, I was probably still her nemesis.

    My eyes plerces hers. "I never got the chance to thank you for what you did, but I''ll forever be grateful," I tell her, motioning to her shoulder.

    I don''t know what I expected, but it wasn''t for her to scoff at me in disdain. Sure, I know we would never be the best of friends, but I had hoped that with what happened to us, we would put our differences aside.

    "I don''t need your fucking thanks, and what the hell made you think that I got shot for you?" she asks, her face scrunching up in disgust.

    I sigh and shake my head. I guess nothing has changed. The bitch I was used to was firmly back in ce.

    "Whatever Emma, I''m still thankful."

    Corrine and Letty look behind them when they realize that I''m not following them. They stop before tuming back. A murderous look on both their faces.

    I''ve known them for a short time, but fuck do I love my friends.

    "What the hell is going on here? You better not be causing trouble for Ava, or I swear I''ll destroy you," Corrine wams, her voice taking a deadly tone.

    "Oh, look, our mousy Ava went and got herself some friends; how nice," Christine mocks. I could literally taste the bittemess in her voice.

    Letty steps towards them, her hands fisted, but I stop her. I didn''t need a fight right now. What I needed was peace and tranquility.

    "She''s not worth it, Letty. She''s nothing but a resentful, hateful bitch." I tell my friend, pleading with my eyes to let it go.

    "I''m not worth it?" Christine scoffs, turning towards Emma before looking back at me. "You''re the one who isn''t worth it. You''re unwanted and hated. No one in your family likes you. As if that isn''t bad enough, you also spread your legs for anyone. Do you even know who your baby''s father is?"

    Throwing my hands up in the air, I turn towards my friends. "Why the hell does everyone think I''m a whore? I''ve slept with two men. Two fucking men! If that makes me a whore, then what the hell is she?" I ask, pointing at Christine.

    "You bitch!" she screams, shards of hatred directed at me.

    "What? I''m telling the truth, I am damn sure you have slept with most of the eligible married and unmarried men in this city."

    "Shut up!" she screams, losing it. "It''s because of you that I lost my job! You made Rowan fire me."

    To be honest, Iugh at that. It was so funny and so silly. Like could she seriously hear hersell? She wasn''t making any sense.

    "I can''t make Rowan do anything even if I wanted to! He fired you because he realized what a lousy human being you are."

    "I''m gonna kill you," she yells again.

    She steps forward to attack me, but Emma stops her. Her action surprises me, but I don''t let

    it linger too much in my brain. I was done with confusing behaviors from those around me.

    I totally ignore Christine as she curses me and focus on Emma.

    "You think she''s your friend, but she''s not." I begin, "Don''t let her fool you. Did you know she tried her best to seduce Rowan and get him to sleep with her? She even offered to be his mistress, but he refused her."

    Emma looks shocked. Her eyes dancing between mine and Christine. Christine, on the other hand, looks totally afraid because she knows she''s about to loose her hold on Emma.

    "She''s lying, Emma. Don''t listen to her!"

    "Am I? Ask anyone in our social circle, and they''ll tell you the same thing. Haven''t you ever wondered why she hates me so much? It''s because I was mamed to the man she wanted for herself. She''s been chasing after him from the moment he hired her as his secretary. It''s no secret she wants him."

    "Is this true?" Emma asks in a deadly voice as Christine nervously nibbles her lips.

    She took a bullet for me. The least I could do was open her fucking eyes to the person she considered a true friend.

    "I can exin," she pleads, but Emma doesn''t listen as she blows up on her.

    I tune them out and turn to my friends. "Let''s go. My work here is done."

    I turn around just as I hear a p echoing in the parking lot. Swiveling my head, I look back and see Christine cradling her cheek. Emma had pped her hard. I wasn''t sony for her. The bitch deserved it after what she put me through.

    We walk until we can no longer hear them. Sagging against a car, I take a deep breath.

    That was awesome. The way you stood up against her was amazing. ''Letty yells happily.

    I give them a small smile.

    "Thanks. I''m so sorry to have to do this to you two, but I need to go home. I''m so freaking tired, and my feet are aching." I tell them.

    For some reason I feel drained and tired. I just want to go home, de-stress and take a very long nap,

    "Are you sure?" Letty asks.

    "Yeah. Sorry for bailing out on you like this."

    "It''s no problem. We understand. Dealing with those two is a headache. Go home and get some rest; we can postpone the meeting for another day." Corrine adds, holding my hand reassuringly.

    "What are you going to do now?" I ask them. I felt bad for canceling, but I also know that I need to get home.

    "We''ll continue with Letty''s insane ns and get some greasy food," Corrine answers with what resembles a wince.

    After hugging them and telling them goodbye, I get in my car and leave.

    "I should really consider hiring a driver," I tell myself.

    I was short, so with my big belly, it was starting to get really ufortable being behind the wheels.

    Around forty minutester, I pull into my driveway. I park my car and get inside the house. "Thank God you''re here miss, Ava." My nanny all but screams while rushing towards me.

    I put my bag down. I feel panic trying to w its way inside me, but I push it down.

    "What''s wrong?"

    Before she can answer, Noahes rushing down the stairs. He takes my hand and pulls me towards the stairs.

    "Slow down, Noah. What''s wrong?"

    He looks at me, tears swimming in his eyes. "It''s Gunner. He won''t stop crying, and he won''t tell me what''s wrong. I don''t know how to help him."

    "I tried calling Calvin, but he didn''t pick up," the nanny says loudly behind us.

    I nod my head and let Noah pull me up the stairs and into his room. We enter, and I find

    Gunner curled into a corner. His head between his legs. Arms around himself. He was sobbing. Gut wrenching cries.

    My heart sinks. His pain breaking my heart into tiny little pieces. He hase to mean a lot to me. Seeing him like this was literally causing me physical pain.

    I struggle, but finally kneel before him.

    "Honey, what''s wrong?" I ask gently as I touch his arm softly.

    The moment he hears my voice, he lunges at me. His arms circle my neck and he holds on for dear life. I fall on my butt on the soft carpet and end up sitting with him in my arms.

    "Baby, talk to me..." I plead while rubbing his back.

    "I-I just don''t understand. You''re a great mother and you live with Noah. He told me that you and his dad aren''t together, but you still love him so much. So why does my mother not love me?" he hups. Struggling to get the words out.

    My heart goes to him. I hold him close to me. Hoping that he can feel my love for him radiating from me.

    "I''ve only met her once. She doesn''t want to see me or be near me. Am I a bad boy? Does she hate me so much? I just don''t understand why she doesn''t love me" he cries.

    I can''t stop the tears that run down my face. I feel my heart squeeze. My throat bobbles as I try to contain my emotion. I pull him even closer. As if I could absorb his pain and take it into my own body.

    "Dad say I am not a bad boy and I''ve tried my best to always be good, but she still doesn''t want me. It hurts, Ava. It hurts so much in here" he lets go of me for a while then pounds on his chest.

    I grasp his hand in mine and stop his actions. I kiss his cheeks, then his forehead, before running my finger down his cheek.

    "I don''t have all the answers to your questions, but I know you''re a great little boy. It may not mean much, but I love you, Gunner, just as much as I love Noah. If I were to have another son, then I would probably pray to the heavens that it would be you." I take a breath before continuing.

    "Don''t ever doubt yourself, honey. We may not know your mother, but it''s her loss because you''re awesome, and we''re so d you came into our lives. Never put yourself down, Gunner. Ever. Because there are people who love you so much."

    I pour out my heart to him. Hoping it will be enough to pull him back to us. Everything I said is the truth, i just hope he believes me.

    He stops crying. His eyes focused on mine.

    "You mean that? You love me?" He asks timidly, making the need to find his mother and beat the crap out of her rise within me.

    "Of course. You''re a part of Noah and me now, so how can we not love you?" I reply, wiping away the tear stains.

    He calms down, then leans forward and kisses my cheek.

    "I love you guys too. I''m so d our dog sneaked into your yard that day, because then we met you and Noah. I''ve been a lot happier since I met you two."

    His words brings tears to my eyes. Damn it. The kid was too sweet.

    "I''m d we met you too, Gunner." Noah adds, and I nod in agreement.

    A smile breaks from his lips and transforms his whole face. He was a carbon copy of his dad, but there was just something about his smile.

    Looking at him closely, something tags at my brain, but no matter what, I just couldn''t ce why his smile seemed really familiar or why I feel like things are about to unravel.

 Chapter 95

    Calvin had called immediately he got the missed call notification. He¡¯d exined that the reason he didn¡¯t pick up is because he was in a meeting and his phone had been silent.

    He wanted toe home right away, but told him that everything was now fine. That I had takencare of the situation and that Gunner was fine. He wasn¡¯t crying anymore. Neither was he sad.

    That was enough for me.

    He was reluctant, but he finally agreed given that his meeting would runte.

    Now here I was cooking dinner for us. With thousands of thoughts running through my head. It¡¯s like I can¡¯t get a break from my own thoughts. They¡¯re constantly there and now there some that are added concerning Gunner.

    ¡°What are we having for dinner mom?¡± Noah asks sitting down at the counter.

    ¡°Yes, what? I am starving¡± Gunner adds smiling at me.

    There it was again. That damn smile. It¡¯s not that I hated it. I could never hate any smile Gunner gives me. It¡¯s just that it F***ing bothers me so much. There was something about it that I just couldn¡¯t ce my finger on.

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure¡± I tell them. ¡°Why don¡¯t we see what my craving will pick?¡±

    Noah smiles wide and turns to Gunner. ¡°Mom has insan cravings. Sometimes they¡¯re really great and other times it¡¯s totally disgusting¡±

    Gunner nods his head. ¡°Can I help?¡±

    ¡°Sure. Why don¡¯t you flow the chicken?¡± I tell him.

    Noah wasn¡¯t really that helpful in the kitchen. In fact he was aplete disaster. That¡¯s why he normally never helps unless it¡¯s something he can actually do. Something he won¡¯t mess up.

    I got out the marinating sliced chicken breasts and the Ziploc bag of seasoned flour and handed them over to Gunner.

    He took them willingly with a smile on his face. One thing I learned about him was that he loved food and he also loved cooking. He was going to make a very lucky woman happy one day if he continued like this.

    ¡°As for you, Noah, you can help with the dessert¡± I turn to him

    ¡°At least that¡¯s easy and I won¡¯t mess it up¡± he says grinning, making both me and Gunnerugh

    He was self¨Caware. I liked that about him.

    ¡°Now, if you get the buttermilk marinade on your fingers, don¡¯t get it near your eyes. It¡¯ll burn, because of the Tabasco and salt that is in it I warn Gunner.

    ¡°Okay¡±

    We get to work. Chatting and simply having fun. I was so d that I could give this to Gunner. So happy that I was able to give him happiness. I couldn¡¯t take away all his pain and sadness, butthis had to be enough for now.

    He was a lovely boy. Shy at first, but when you got to know him, you realize how amazing he is. I just couldn¡¯t understand why his mother would do this to him.

    From what little I gathered. She doesn¡¯t want to be in his life. I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s by choice or maybe forced circumstances, all I know is that it was hurting Gunner. Thest thing I want is forhim to grow up with issues just like me.

    ¡°This is what I¡¯ve always wished and prayed for¡± his low voice pulls me back to the present.

    ¡°What?¡± Noah asks him.

    Gunner takes deep breath before answering. ¡°This. Having a mom by my side. Watching her cook and cooking alongside her. That kind of thing. Don¡¯t get me wrong, dad is amazing but he is a dad.

    He can never be my mom¡±

    Damn it. There goes my heart shattering into pieces for this little boy. If I could, I would give him the world, but that is not sible. Some things just aren¡¯t possible. Like how Noah wants Rowan and I to get back together.

    ¡°You okay, honey?¡± I ask him.

    He smiles up at me. ¡°Yes. I have you, Noah and dad. That is enough. I know you¡¯re not my real mom, but you¡¯re like a mom to me already.¡±

    I leave what I am doing and give him a hug before k*ssing his forehead.

    ¡°Damn!¡± Noah groans.

    ¡°Language!¡± I chastise him and he goes quiet.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry mom ¡± Noah says after a while ¡°I¡¯ve been pushing and pushing for you and dad to get back together without realizing how lucky I am that you¡¯re both in my life. Will you forgive me?¡±

    I open my arms for him and he immediately steps into them. I close them around him before k*ssing his forehead too.

    ¡°You¡¯re forgiven¡± I tell him while letting him go.

    ¡°I¡¯ll keep praying and hoping, but I¡¯ll stop pushing so much.¡±

    ¡°Thank you¡± I say

    We get back to work and eventually finish cooking. They both help me set the table and we sit down to eat.

    With the three of us, or should I say four, we almost clean everything, but I put my foot down for some left overs. Calvin was probably going toe home tired and hungry. He won¡¯t have time to cook something.

    After dinner, I make them shower and then it is off to bed for them.

    It was after they were asleep that the idea came to me. I had a five bedroom house. There was still an extra room even after turning one of them into a nursery. Thest remaining bedroom could be Gunner¡¯s room.

    He could sleep there anytime he was over and it could also be his safe space while he was here. I quickly get excited about the idea. Immediately I take a note pad and started scribbling down what I would need.

    I¡¯ll have to ask Calvin for be helpful when it know what he likes. rmission, but I was sure he¡¯d agree. Well I hoped he would. Plus he¡¯ll the design of the room. He knows Gunner better than anyone. He¡¯ll

    I was just finishing up the list of essentials when the doorbell rang. I wiggle up and go to open it, pretty sure that it will Calvin on the door. I wasn¡¯t wrong.

    ¡°Hi¡± I tell him.

    ¡°Hi to you too¡± he says, giving me a tired smile.

    I step aside and hees in. We move to the living room.

    ¡°It¡¯s quiet Are they asleep?¡± he asks

    ¡°Yes¡±

    I didn¡¯t know what to say. I had so many question, but I was afraid of stepping out of boundary.

    ¡°About today? Gunner was crying because of his mother¡± I start slowly.

    The moment I say those words, his face turns stone cold.

    ¡°Don¡¯t mention that bitch to me again! She has done nothing, but hurt me and my son over and over again. What kind of woman abandons her son? I get and understand that she doesn¡¯t love me and she never will, it hurts, but I learned to ept that. Turning her back on Gunner is something else. I will never forgive her for that¡± he was breathing hard and his voice was cold.

    Unrequited love. Wasn¡¯t it just a bitch? I¡¯ve suffered through it since I first fell for Rowan. I didn¡¯t want my friend to go through it, but it looks like he has.

    ¡°Every time I call and she refuses toe see Gunner kills me. He is amazing, yet his mother wants nothing to do with him. I tried hiding it from him, but as he got older he started to understand things. He started to understand that his mother doesn¡¯t want him and she wants nothing to do with him. Fuck I hate her so much, but I also can¡¯t stop loving her¡± he says before continuing. Pain radiating from his eyes.

    ¡°I want to give Gunner the world, but the one thing he wants is totally out of my reach. I regret ever falling in love with her. Regret ever meeting her. But the thing is, regretting her means regretting Gunner and that is one thing I can never do¡±

    Where have I heard those words from? Yeah from my own l*ps. Didn¡¯t I tell Rowan the same thing?

    That as much as I want to regret him, I can¡¯t because it means regretting Noah.

    ¡°I don¡¯t have the right Is for you. Hell. Our situations are the same, but different at the same time. All I can tell you is, De there for Gunner as best as you can. Love him so much that he doesn¡¯t miss the love of his mother. Show him that he is enough and that it¡¯s his mother¡¯s loss not his¡±

    Those are the only words I can offer. I wanted to say more, but I didn¡¯t have the words tofort him. He nods his head and we stay in silence.

    ¡°Thank you, Ava. For being there for me and my son¡± he says after a while.

    ¡°You¡¯re wee¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s quiet. Are they asleep?¡± he asks

    ¡°Yes¡±

    I didn¡¯t know what to say. I had so many question, but I was afraid of stepping out of boundary.

    ¡°About today? Gunner was crying because of his mother¡± I start slowly.

    The moment I say those words, his face turns stone cold.

    ¡°Don¡¯t mention that bitch to me again! She has done nothing, but hurt me and my son over andover again. What kind of woman abandons her son? I get and understand that she doesn¡¯t love me and she never will, it hurts, but I learned to ept that. Turning her back on Gunner is something else. I will never forgive her for that¡± he was breathing hard and his voice was cold.

    Unrequited love. Wasn¡¯t it just a bitch? I¡¯ve suffered through it since I first fell for Rowan. I didn¡¯t want my friend to go through it, but it looks like he has.

    ¡°Every time I call and she refuses toe see Gunner kills me. He is amazing, yet his mother wants nothing to do with him. I tried hiding it from him, but as he got older he started to understand things. He started to understand that his mother doesn¡¯t want him and she wants nothing to do with him. Fuck I hate her so much, but I also can¡¯t stop loving her¡± he says before continuing. Pain radiating from his eyes.

    ¡°I want to give Gunner the world, but the one thing he wants is totally out of my reach. I regret ever falling in love with her. Regret ever meeting her. But the thing is, regretting her means regretting Gunner and that is one thing I can never do¡±

    Where have I heard those words from? Yeah from my own l*ps. Didn¡¯t I tell Rowan the same thing? That as much as I want to regret I can¡¯t because it means regretting Noah.

    ¡°I don¡¯t have the right words for you. Hell. Our situations are the same, but different at the same time. All I can tell you is; be there for Gunner as best as you can. Love him so much that he doesn¡¯t miss the love of his mother. Show him that he is enough and that it¡¯s his mother¡¯s loss not his¡±

    Those are the only words I can offer. I wanted to say more, but I didn¡¯t have the words tofort him. He nods his head and we stay in silence.

    ¡°Thank you, Ava. For being there for me and my son¡± he says after a while.

    ¡°You¡¯re wee¡±

    After, he leaves carring Gunner¡¯s sleeping form and the food I saved for him.

    Hours after he leaves. Hours after I go to bed. Gunner¡¯s smile still haunts my mind. His smile and his mysterious mother invade my every thought.

    There was something I was missing. If only I could piece the pieces together then maybe I could figure out why this whole issue bothers me so F***ing much. Maybe I can figure out why my mind won¡¯t give me piece concerning the matter.

 Chapter 96

    Chapter 96 Iwon¡¯tstoptrying

    Rowan.

    MyfeethitthepavementasIrun.Iusuallyruninthemorning,buttodayIdecidedotherwiseItwasaroundsevenintheevening,andIneededthisrun.

    Ispeedup,feelingmymusclesburn.Iwantedtooutrunmyguilt.Wantedtooutrunmyheartache.

    Iwantedtooutrunmy F***ingfoolishness.

    TheguiltofhowmuchIhadhurtAvawaseatingmealive.Destroyingmefromtheinsideout.I

    haven¡¯t beenabletofacehersinceIdiscoveredmyfeelingsforher.

    Ilookatmyselfinthemirror,andallIseeisadespicablehumanbeing.Iamdisgustedbymyactions.DisgustedbyallthatIdidtoher.

    IthoughtIwasagoodman.Thekindthatlovesfiercely.Iwasalwaysproudofmyselfforholdingontomylove forEmma.Ithoughtitmeantthatmyfeelingsforherweretrue.WhatIdidn¡¯t realizewasthatwhiledoingthat,IwashurtingthewomanIactuallyloved.

    ¡°Fuck!¡±Icursemyselfandtheworld.

    HowthehelldidI gethere?

    IpushmyselfharderasIrunpastthegasstationafewmilesfrommyhouse.Idon¡¯thavetimetoslowdownbecauseonceIdo,mydemonswillbebacktohauntme.Totauntmewithallmy mistakes.

    EverytimeIclosemyeyes,Iseeherfacefrommanymonthsago,beforesheaskedforadivorce.I

    don¡¯tevenrememberwhatIsaidto1itithurtherprettybadly.Irememberhereyesshuttingdowninpainasshetoldmeshehatedme.Iscoffed.NotknowingthatIwouldonedaycravethe love she used tohaveforme.

    Imessedupbigtime.NoweverythingisF***edupandIdon¡¯tknowhowtofixit.

    Myphonerings,andIampulledfrommydrowningthoughts.

    ¡°Hello,¡±Ianswerwithoutcheckingthecaller¡¯sID.Mybreathinginhardand fast.

    ¡°Dad,it¡¯sme!¡±Noahshoutsinexcitement.

    We¡¯vetalkedonthephone,butIhaven¡¯tbeenbytoseehim.Notwhenseeinghimmeansseeing

    ¡°Hey,buddy.Howareyou?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯mgoodrmsuperexcited,¡±heallbutshouts.

    Mycuriositygetsthebestofme,eventhoughpartofmethinksthatIwillregretasking

    ¡°Why?What¡¯sgotyouinsuchagoodmood?¡±Ichuckle.

    Talkingtohimbroughtasenseofpeace.Rightnow,hewasmylifelinebecauseIfeltlikeIwasdrowning.LikeIwasdyingfromtheinside.

    ¡°Well,youremembermybestfriendGunner?¡±heasks

    ¡°Yeah¡±

    ¡°Well,abunchofthingshappened,andIwantedtocheerhimup,soItalkedtomomandsheagreed.We¡¯regoingtoanamusementparktomorrow.Mom,me,Gunnerandhisdad,¡±heshoutsthstpart.

    Ifeeljealousytakecontrol.Thethoughtofhavinganothermannearherwas drivingmeinsane.IknowIsaidshedeservesbetter,butIhonestlydon¡¯t thinkIcanlethergo.

    ¡°Isthatright?¡±Iask,myvoicetakingahardtone.

    ¡°Yeah¡±Noahreplies.¡°Areyouokay,dad?Youdon¡¯tsoundfine,¡±hesaysafterrealizingthatIwasn¡¯tasexcitedforhimasIshouldbe..

    Ispinaroundandbeginmywalkbackhome.Myinsidesburnedfromenvy.Whatifshe chosethisman?What iftheywereinartionship?Whatifshefellinlovewithhim?ThemoreIthoughtof

    allthepossibilities,themoreIgotpissed atmyselfforbeingsuchanidiot.

    ¡°Whereisit?¡±Iaskhimcrisply.

    ¡°Oh,inthenexttown,¡±hereplies.¡°Areyouokay,dad?¡±

    ¡°Yes.Absolutely,¡±Ilie.

    ¡°Okaythen,¡±hisvoiceisincredulous.¡°I¡¯lltalktoyoter.JustwantedtoletyouknowthatIwon¡¯t

    bearoundtomorrow,incaseyouwantedtoseeme.Byedad,goodnight.¡±

    ¡°Goodnighttoo,buddy,¡±Isaid,hangingupthephone.

    Icontinuemywalk.I¡¯eouttonightinthehopesofcalmingmythoughts.Itwaswastedbecause,ontopofallthestress,Iwasnow

    pissedashell

    Igettomyhomethirtyminuteter.Thecoldairhaddonenothingtocoolmyfrayednerves.IwantedtostormtoAva¡¯sceandimher.Iwantedtotellhershecan¡¯tgooutwiththisCalvinguyIwantedtoderemyloveforher.

    ¡°Mr.Woods,thereissomeoneheretoseeyou,¡±mybutlerinformsmethemomentIstepintomyhouse

    ¡°Whoisit?¡±Iask.

    Beforehecananswer,hervoiceinterruptsus.IswearasIturnaround tofaceher.Fuck!Ididn¡¯thavethetimeorpatiencetodealwithher.

    ¡°HowcanIhelpyou,Emma?¡±IfeelitasRodgers,mybutler,leaves.

    Istudyherfeatures.Shewasbeautiful,yes,butherbeautyhaddeemedinmyeyes.Itried

    searchingforthescorchingfeelingsIusedtohaveforher,buttherewasnothing.Thecethatoncehousedthem wapletelyempty.

    ¡°Howareyou,Ro?¡±sheasksinsteadofansweringmyquestion.

    Ididn¡¯twanttoberude,butIdidn¡¯thavetimeforher.

    ¡°Tellmewhyyou¡¯rehere,Emma.Ihavealotofthingsonmyte.¡±

    Shesighs.Herfacelosingitscolor.¡°I¡¯mherebecauseofus.Iwantustotalkaboutour rtionship.¡±

    Myfacpletelyshoutsdown.Ifeelcoldnessradiatingfromme.Sheflinches,butIdon¡¯tgivea shit.

    ¡°Whatrtionship?Thereisno¡®us¡®Emma.Don¡¯tyouunderstandthat?¡±Iaskherinahardtone,

    myhandsfistedatmyside.

    Damnit.Iwantedhertoleave.Doesn¡¯tsheunderstandthatbeingnearherirritatesme?That

    thingshavechangedandit¡¯slikeIcan¡¯tstandbeingaroundher.

    ¡°That¡¯snottrue.Iloveyou,andyouloveme.It¡¯salwaysbeenthatway.Youcan¡¯ttellmethat

    thingshavechanged.IsitbecauseofAva?¡±Tearswereswimminginhereyes.

    Ididn¡¯tloveher,butIcaredforher.Ididn¡¯twanttohurt,butifitmeansthat¡¯sthe onlywayshe¡¯ll

    ¡°Yes,butIalsocametorealizethatIdon¡¯tloveyouImayhaveinthepast,butnotanymore.

    You¡¯rewastingyourtimeonme.You shouldbelookingforsomeonewho¡¯llgiveyoutheloveI can¡¯t¡±

    Thetearsshewasholdingbackbegintofall.Painshedinherfeatures.Iwantedtohelpher,but

    therewasnothingIcoulddo.I¡¯vehurtAvalongenough.I¡¯llbedamnedif Icontinuedoingit.

    ¡°Youloveher,don¡¯tyou?¡±sheasksinabrokenvoice.

    Herpaintugsatthepartsofmethatusedtoloveher.Istampthemdown.Notallowingthemto win.

    ¡°Yes.Iknowit¡¯snotwhatyouwanttohear,butyesIloveher¡±ItellherasgentlyasIcan.

    ¡°Now thatyouknowthetruth,I¡¯malsolettingyouknowthatI¡¯mgoingtopursueherandIdon¡¯twant youstandinginmyway¡±

    ¡°She¡¯llnevergiveyouachance.She¡¯llneverforgiveyou.¡±Hervoiceisbitterandwounded.

    Irunmyhandthroughmyhairinfrustration.¡°Thatmaybethecase,butitstillwon¡¯tstopme fromtryingtowinbackherlove.¡±

    ¡°AndIwon¡¯tstoptryingtowinbackyours.Ilostyouonce,Rowan,andI¡¯mnotgoingtoloseyou again.Iwon¡¯teptdefeatthat easily,¡±shesaysdeterminedly.

    BeforeIcantellthatshe¡¯swastinghertime,sheflouncespastmeandleaves.

    IheadupstairswhilepushingtheencounterwithEmmatothebackofmymind.Nothing shesaid

    mattered.Avaismymainfocusnow.

    Itwastimeformetowinbackmyex¨Cwife.

 Chapter 97

    ?Chapter 97

    Ava

    "Mommy, are you almost done?" Noah yells through my bedroom door. "It''s almost time. We are going to bete." "Just give me a sec* I yell back as I quickly put on my outfit for the day.

    Nowadays, I''m morefortable with dresses, so that''s what I had on. I had on a cute sundress with thin straps and that reached above my knees. I paired them with sandals. Since we were going to spend most of the time walking, I assumed they will be morefortable.

    My hair was in in a curled pony tail with loose tendrils framing my face. I didn''t have much make up on. Mainly because I felt toozy to do it.

    I didn''t want to do this whole thing. I easily get tired nowadays and I didn''t want to ruin the day by being worn out too quickly. The smile on Noah''s and Gunner''s faces is what made me change my mind. They were both so excited for this day.

    Gunner needed this after what happenedst week. He needed to feel loved and treasured. I hoped that being surrounded by those that love him will give him new memories. Memories that would rece those few painful ones of his mother.

    I take my purse and open my door only to find Noah waiting for me outside.

    "I''m ready. Let''s go

    Just as I finished the sentence, we hear a honk outside my house. I guess that both Calvin and Gunner were also ready to go.

    Since were going to the same ce, we saw no need for travelling separately. We decided that we would take Cal''s car since it was bigger and that he would be driving.

    "I''m so excited...I''ve been waiting for this day since you agreed" Noah says as he gently pulls me down the stair while being mindful of my condition. "I even called dad yesterday. He was sounded funny, but I let him know that I won''t be home today"

    I''m surprised that he called Rowan. He usually tells me when he''s going to call his father. He never mentioned it yesterday though.

    At the mention of Rowan, I get an uneasy feeling. In the past months he has been what I can only describe as unpredictable. I don''t think he would show up, but I also wouldn''t put past his new persona.

    Pushing thoughts of him aside, I focus on the day ahead.

    We get out of the house and Noah rushes to Cal''s car. I follow behind him once I''ve locked the door. Climbing into the passenger seat, I smile at the father-son duo.

    "Hello you two" I greet as cheerful as I can.

    "Hey Ava!" Gunner screams with excitement.

    Cal smile back at me "Hey"

    We all buckle up and then Cal starts the engine and drives off.

    Thirty minutes into the trip, the boys are still as excited as the first day we made these ns. They were so hyper that it was funny how they behaved.

    "How long till we get there?" Noah asks, buzzing with joy while Gunner bounced up and down his seat.

    "About forty minutes give or take" Cal answers.

    They are quiet for a while before they start conversing on their own. Their talk mostly consisting of all the things

    they''re going to do while there. The games they''re going to y. The rides they''re going to try and the foods they''re going to eat.

    "They''re really excited" Cal says, his eyes shing to mine before going back on the road.

    I chuckle. "That is an understatement. Noah barely sleptst night and he when he did. He was up again at the crack of dawn, waking me up like there was a freaking apocalypse"

    Heughs at that. Realughter. I stare at him in wonder. Unable to tear my gaze from him.

    "What is it?" he asks when hisugh dies down.

    I shake my head to clear my thoughts. "Nothing. I''ve just never heard youugh like that before. You shouldugh more often. It suits you"

    The smile he had earlier disappears. He was back to being unreachable and detached.

    I really needed to help. Show him how to live. Whoever Gunner''s mom is, sure did a number on both father and son. I''m only grateful that Rowan only hurt me. I don''t know what I would have done if my situation had been simr to that of Calvin.

    We drive in silence after that. Mostly it''s the kids that engage us in their conversation. Those two surprised me at how in sync they were with each other. They were even finishing each other''s sentences which Calvin found hrious.

    Soon we get to our destination. We get out of the car immediately Calvin finds a parking spot.

    "Where to first?" Cal asks as we faced the gate to the amusement park. There were probably thousands of people walking about.

    "The rides, definitely" Noah and Gunner chorus together.

    The faces were split into wide grins and their eyes were shimmering with excitement.

    "The rides it is" I grin and take both their hands as we head into the sea of people.

    About two hourster, my legs were aching, but I was happy. I take a seat by the bench and watch as Cal, Gunner and Noah y around.

    Rubbing my feet I can''t help but turn wistful. This is what I always wanted for me, Noah and Rowan. I always wanted us to do such fun things together. Every time I broached the subject, Rowan would turn me down.

    He always said that he didn''t mind spending time with Noah, so long as I wasn''t there to ruin their moment because my presence disgusted him.

    It hurt as always, but I swallowed it down. Except that vacation we went to as a family, and which Noah insisted. We never did anything as a family. It was always either Rowan and Noah or Noah and me. Never the three of us.

    "I don''t like another man ying dad to my son" I sit frozen, unable to believe that I''d just heard his voice.

    It''s like my thoughts had conjured him out of thin air.

    Yeah. I should have definitely listened to my brain when it told me that Rowan was probably going to show up. This was sure going to be a fucking disaster.

 Chapter 98

    The fight

    I slowly turn in the direction of the sound to find Rowan seated next to me It¡¯s like I¡¯d wished him into

    existence. That wasn¡¯t all. For the first time since I¡¯ve known him, Rowan wasn¡¯t wearing a suit. He had a

    ck V¨Cneck t¨Cshirt and blue jeans.

    ¡°What are you doing here?¡± I stammer, still not believing he was here.

    ¡°Noah mentioned you¡¯d be here, so here I am¡± he shrugs his shoulder casually as if what he just said

    wasn¡¯t insane.

    Unable to withstand his presence anymore, I stand up and walk away without saying another word. I

    hear him calling my name, but I ignore him.

    I go to the bathroom and try to calm myself. Why now? Why couldn¡¯t he have been like this years ago?

    Just when I¡¯ve decided to move on, he gets a change in character? It doesn¡¯t work like that.

    Sshing water on my face, I harden my heart. It doesn¡¯t matter why he all of a sudden wants to be part

    of my life. He and I are done. We were done before we even began.

    After I feel more anchored, I step outside only to bump into someone. The scent of the cologne

    immediately alerts me to who the person I bumped into is.

    I rip myself away from his body as if he¡¯d scorched me. With my hormones all over the ce, I didn¡¯t

    want him to get the wrong idea.

    ¡°Ava¡± he calls, his voice husky and deep.

    ¡°What do you want, Rowan? What game are you trying to y?¡±

    I still don¡¯t understand him and parts of me doesn¡¯t want to. All I know is that he caused me pain. I

    don¡¯t want to experience th

    ain.

    ¡°I¡¯m not ying any game. I just want to talk. There¡¯s something important I have to tell you¡± he

    says hesitantly.

    I be curious. Rowan is a lot of things except hesitant and unsure. I¡¯ve known him all my life

    and he has never been this hesitant. He usually gets straight to the point. Whether you like what

    he has to say or not, that was none of his business.

    I study him closely. His grey stare at mine in a way I¡¯ve never seen him staring at me. There was

    something about him. Something had changed in him. I just couldn¡¯t tell what it is.

    Apart from that, he looked almost fearful. Like he didn¡¯t know how to tell me what he wanted to

    say and also he afraid of my reaction to it

    I get more curios when I notice how he keeps shifting from one foot to another He was nervous.

    His nervousness was another thing out of character.

    ¡°What is it?¡± I fold my hands on top of my belly and tap mu foot impatiently against the floor.

    Before he can say anything, Calvin joins us.

    ¡°Ava, is he disturbing you?¡± he asks standing near me in a protective stance while ring at

    Rowan.

    Rowan sneers. ¡°Of course it¡¯s you. What is it with you salivating over what¡¯s mine? First it was Emma

    when we were in high school. Following her around like a damn lost puppy. Now? Now it¡¯s

    Ava. Stay the fuck away from her. She¡¯s mine¡±

    I feel pissed at what he said. He had no right to talk to Calvin like that. Besides, I wasn¡¯t his. Never

    was. Never have been.

    D

    ¡°You¡¯re a fucking bastard. Stop talking about Ava as if she¡¯s a piece of meat you can im¡± Calvin

    all but snarls.

    His hands were fisted at his

    side. His

    s jaw was clenched and he looked ready to pounce on Rowan

    and beat him to shit.

    I look between the two of them unable to believe that they were behaving like kids. While Calvin

    looked at Rowan with nothing but hatred, Rowan looked at him in jealousy. 1

    WG

    There was something odd about Calvin¡¯s look. Sure, he used to crush on Emma when she was with

    Rowan back then, but so did hundreds of other boys. The fact that she only had eyes for Rowan

    didn¡¯t warranty the hate eyes. Besides, it was years ago. So why the hell did he hate Rowan?

    ¡°Stay out of this. This is between Ava and me¡± Rowan growls, his eyes shing, a storm brewing

    behind them.

    Calvin steps forward and pushes Rowan back. He doesn¡¯t even stumble, but it¡¯s enough to piss him

    off more that he already was.

    ¡°Guys, please don¡¯t do this?¡± I plead.

    No one responds. There are too far gone to hear me or even reason. 1

    some

    i nervously look around A small crowd was already forming Given Rowan was well know, senne

    already had the phones out

    ¡°Don¡¯t fucking touch me Rowan says. They were now head to head.

    He was a bit taller than Calvin, but that didn¡¯t make Calvin back down

    I¡¯ve had enough of you. Enough of you controlling my fucking life. Why don¡¯t you just drop dead

    and save us all the trouble¡± Calvin tells Rowan.

    I stand there frozen unable to believe what he just said. There was malice in his eyes. Something I

    never thought I would associate with Calvin. Anger and bitterness sure, but malice? Never.

    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t you wish that? Even after all these years you¡¯re still trying to prove that you¡¯re someone

    when you¡¯re not. The truth is you¡¯ll never be me. Emma didn¡¯t fucking love you then and Ava won¡¯t

    love you now because her heart belongs to me¡±

    Those words seemed like the push Calvin needed because he swings his fist and get Rowan in the

    jaw. Rowan doesn¡¯t take long to recover before he¡¯s retaliating. Soon, they¡¯re full blown fighting.

    I stand there watching them, wishing I could be anywhere but here.

    Trying to separate them proves futile. I almost get hit in the process. The security are called and

    we are escorted outside. Before leaving, I go and pick the boys. I find them in the park. Seated on

    the bench andpletely sad.

    ¡°Come, let¡¯s go home¡± I tell them as gently as I could.

    ¡°I can¡¯t believe dad and Calvin were fighting. Why were they fighting?¡± Noah asks.

    ¡°Noah and I are best friends. Even if they don¡¯t like each other shouldn¡¯t they try to get along

    because of us?¡± Gunner adds looking as disappointed in his father as Noah was in his.

    ¡°Sometimes adults fight

    my anger and frustration.

    sure they¡¯ll put aside their differences¡± I tell them trying to suppress

    We get outside in time to see Rowan arguing with the management.

    ¡°Do you know who I fucking am?¡± he snarls. ¡°I can by this whole damn ce and put you all out of

    a fucking job!¡±

    Calvin was pacing a few feet from Rowan. He asionally stopped and red at him.

    ¡°I understand Mr Woods, but you caused a disturbance the manager doesn¡¯t get to finish

    ¡°Shut up!¡± Rowanmands. ¡°I hear nothing of use to me. Now, you¡¯ll allow us to go back¡±

    1 sigh in tedness I really should have stayed at home.

    Rowan had a split lip while Calvin had a bleeding nose (Probably broken), bruised cheek and a

    split lip.

    ¡°Stop it, Rowan¡± I tell him tiredly. ¡°Both you and Calvin have done enough without forcing this

    poor man to let us back in after starting a fight not only publicly but also in front of your sons.

    What example are you bing?¡±

    I stare both of them down before turning to the manager.

    ¡°I¡¯m really sorry for the trouble. We¡¯ll leave immediately¡± he nods at me before leaving.

    Grasping the hands of Noah and Gunner, I turn to face their fathers.

    ¡°Both of you should be ashamed. Today was about the children and yet you ruined the day for

    them. They had to watch their dads fight like little kids fighting over a damn toy.

    ¡°He started it¡± both of them say at the same time making me even more pissed.

    ¡°I don¡¯t give a damn who started it! My point is that you should have had more control and

    remembered the boys!¡±

    While Calvin looks contrite, Rowan just smirks at me. His eyes roaming over me.

    ¡°I like this version of you. It¡¯s se¡­¡± he goes to say sexy but remembers that Noah and Gunner are

    with us so he stops.

    Letting out a breath of f

    ration, I turn and leave. I had no more energy to deal with them.

    ¡°Where are you going?¡± Rowan shouts.

    ¡°Far away from both of you.¡± With that I walk away and leave them standing outside the

    amusement park.

    I hail a cab and get me and the boys inside. It was unreasonable given the amount I would have to

    pay, but hell, I had the money so it didn¡¯t matter.

    ¡°Can we get ice cream before going home?¡± Gunner asks lowly.

 Chapter 99

    Figuring it out

    My head was going to blow up and leave pieces of meat scattered all over my living room. I haven¡¯t

    had a moment of peace at all.

    Thoughts keep running through my head. Never stopping. Never ceasing. It was driving me

    insane, for heaven¡¯s sake.

    ¡°Okay, now I want you to focus on the key and the insects we are studying,¡± I tell Mary, one of the

    students I tutor. ¡°If you want to master the dichotomous key, you have to focus on those two.¡±

    I¡¯d hoped that this would distract me from my thoughts, but I was damn wrong. My head kept

    straying every single damn time.

    Mary nods her head, giving me the signal that she has understood.

    ¡°The first character hasrge wings and has small or no wings¡­ What do you think the answer is?¡±

    She studies the insects in the book before turning to me. At first, she seems unsure, but finally

    she opens her mouth and speaks.

    ¡°Only one insect hasrge wings in this list, so the butterfly will go under that category¡±

    I smile at her, d that she got it. ¡°Good. So since it¡¯s the only one withrge wings, the rest will

    fall under the small or no wings. Given that this is like a game of elimination and they¡¯re a lot, we

    will subdivide them into categories. So what do you think the next two categories will be

    ording to the insects we have?¡±

    Her eyes go back to the book. She doesn¡¯t say anything for a while, but she keeps throwing me

    nces as if she¡¯s nervous.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Mary, just take your time,¡± I tell her softly.

    I believe the key to being a good teacher is having patience. Understanding that not all students

    will get it on the first try. There are just some that are a bit slower than others, and that is

    absolutely okay.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know if I am right,¡± she begins.

    ¡°And that¡¯s okay. If you¡¯re not we¡¯ll find out where you went wrong¡±

    She nods her head. ¡°Long rear legs or short rear legs¡±

    ¡°Good, that is excellent. So which will go to which?¡±

    I see the moment her confidencees back, and I smile.

    ¡°With very long legs, the category will end with mosquitoes, while for short rear legs, I¡¯ll divide

    the category into another two parts. Small eyes andrge eyes¡±

    I p my hand in glee, just to make her feel appreciate. After all, everyone deserves praise when

    they have aplished something.

    ¡°Very good¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± she says, her smile shining as bright as the sun.

    After that, the rest is easy for her. I give her exercises, and she excels in all of them. After our

    session, I give her an assignment to do at home.

    ¡°Thank you, Ava¡± she says at the door. ¡°You make Biology easy to understand.¡±

    ¡°Anytime dear¡±

    After she leaves, I head to the living room and drop down on the couch like a sack of potatoes. My

    mind was still wired and I wanted a distraction, I just couldn¡¯t think of anything.

    Noah was at Gunner¡¯s house so I was alone for now.

    Rubbing my belly, I try toe up with something to do. The issue about Gunner¡¯s mother still

    bothered me. That, along with what Calvin told Rowan. There was just something about

    everything that niggled in my mind.

    I stand up and go to my room to change. I put on some old clothes then head out to the backyard.

    Maybe gardening will tak nind of the thoughts in my head.

    I get down on my knees after getting some seeds from the shed. Today I n to nt some carrots

    and tomatoes.

    ¡°You seem lost.¡± His voice pulls me away from my task.

    I look up to see Calvin standing right in front of me. I don¡¯t know for how long I was gardening, but

    I had been so lost that I hadn¡¯t heard him when he arrived.

    ¡°Yeah¡­I just have a lot on my mind. I¡¯d hoped this would help,¡± I tell him while wiping some of the

    dirt from my clothes.

    2.4

    ¡°Anything I can help you figure out?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think so

    He was always tight¨Clipped about the mother of his son. I didn¡¯t know anything Were they

    married, then divorced? Were they just in a rtionship? How long have they known each other?

    I doubt he will ever willingly give me the information I need to piece things together. Besides, I

    didn¡¯t want to cause him hurt. It looks like every time I mention her, either he gets really pissed or

    really angry.

    ¡°That¡¯s okay¡­ I get it. A lot of the time, I prefer processing things on my own,¡± he pauses. ¡°But that

    doesn¡¯t mean that I can¡¯t help you with this,¡± he points at the small garden.

    ¡°Thank you,¡± I smile while he gets down on his knees.

    I hand him a pair of gloves, and he follows my lead.

    ¡°What are the boys doing?¡± I ask.

    ¡°ying video games¡­ It honestly surprises me how close they¡¯ve be. They¡¯re basically

    inseparable. I never even imagined this scenario in my wildest dreams, given how much I hate

    Noah¡¯s father¡±

    I frown at that. He can¡¯t even bring himself to say his name. Why?

    ¡°Why do you hate him so much? Whatever happened between you two was years ago. Shouldn¡¯t

    you have been able to get over it by now?¡± I ask him, referring to how he had a crush on Emma

    back in high school.

    He had been obsessed, just

    me. While my obsession had been for Rowan, his had been for

    Emma. Just like Rowan sal, he had followed Emma around like a lost puppy. He would write her

    love letters. Buy her flowers and leave them in her locker. He would also buy her gifts. He really

    went above and beyond and that used to piss Rowan off to no end.

    ¡°It¡¯s nothing,¡± he answers, but I know that he¡¯s lying to me. There was something he wasn¡¯t telling

    me.

    I choose to leave it at that instead of pushing it.

    ¡°Regardless, you have to set your differences aside. Our sons are best friends, so you¡¯ll have to see

    him once in a while and you can¡¯t go picking a fight with him every time.¡±

    I make a mental note to have the same talk with Rowan They both need to start acting like adults

    Think about what Gunner needs. This isn¡¯t about you or what went down between you and Rowan. This

    is about Gunner and Noah,¡± I add when he doesn¡¯t say anything.

    Thinking about Gunner brings a mental picture to mind. I try to push it, but to no avail. It stays there as

    my mind sifts through smile after smile from my memories. It finally pauses on a smile, A smile very

    simr to Gunner¡¯s.

    I freeze. My bones locked tight. My heart beating wildly. It can¡¯t be. It just can¡¯t be. She would have said

    something. She would have told her family. I try to deny it, but the proof is there.

    ¡°Ava?¡± he calls my name, but it¡¯s like I am in a trance.

    It was no wonder his smile was so familiar. No wonder it bothered me so much. His smile was

    simr to hers when she was a little girl. They were identical.

    ¡°Emma,¡± her name slips from my lips, as if it was forced out.

    I feel it as Calvin stills next to me. If my memory didn¡¯t convince me, then the way his body locked, did.

    ¡°I need to go.¡± I mumble, struggling to stand up.

    Finally, I manage to get up. His hand on my arm stops me. I face him. He must have seen something in

    my eyes. I¡¯m not sure, and right now, I don¡¯t care.

    ¡°You know,¡± he whispers. ¡°You¡¯ve figured out the truth.¡±

    I nod my head as tears

    my hands from his. I w.

    oud my eyes. Without a word, knowing he will take care of Noah, I pull

    back into my house and get my car keys before leaving.

    I can¡¯t believe this. Not her.

    I needed answers because the Emma I knew would never abandon her child. She would never be so

    cruel to her own flesh and blood.

 Chapter 100

    Her fury

    Rowan

    ¡°Is Noaning?¡± my mother asks me.

    ¡°Not today, mom. I forgot to let Ava know, and I didn¡¯t want to spring this on her all of a sudden,¡± I

    tell her as I walk into Kate¡¯s home.

    It was our monthly get¨Ctogether. Just like thest one, I didn¡¯t want to be here. The only reason I

    was there was because I¡¯d promised Mom that I would attend.

    ¡°I¡¯ve missed him so much, and so has Kate. She really wanted to see him.¡± She pauses. ¡°Now that

    she and Ava are estranged, the only time she gets to see Noah is during these get¨Ctogethers.¡±

    I wanted to feel sorry for her, but I don¡¯t. That makes me a bastard, sure, but I believe that we were

    all getting what we deserved. This was our punishment for how we treated Ava.

    ¡°Maybe next time,¡± I say as I walk past her.

    Mom and Kate have been friends for years. She would do anything for her best friend. Thest

    thing I want or need is to stand there for almost thirty minutes just listening to how Kate was

    suffering.

    I didn¡¯t need to hear about someone else¡¯s suffering when I was dealing with one of my own.

    She follows me as I make my way to the backyard. I know Kate¡¯s home like the back of my hand.

    After all, they¡¯ve lived here for years. This is the same house where Ava and I got married. The

    same house she tried to escape when she found out she was pregnant with Noah.

    I stop dead in my tracks. I

    who was following behind me, collides with my back.

    ¡°What the hell, Rowan?¡± she asks, but I don¡¯t turn around. Nor do I answer.

    Shees to my front when I don¡¯t answer. My eyes stare at her, unseeing.

    ¡°Rowan? What is it?¡±

    My throat bobbles as I try to form the words.

    ¡°I just remembered the day I caught Ava trying to escape. Looking back now, I can¡¯t imagine how

    my life would have turned out had she managed to escape me.¡± I tell her.

    15 BOR

    ¡°Rowan darling. Don¡¯t think about such things. It didn¡¯t happen and we should be grateful to God

    for that ¡±

    I sigh, remembering how foolish I had been.

    ¡°Ava was eighteen and scared, mom. She begged me to let her go because, deep down, she

    probably knew that I would destroy her if she stayed, and I did. I broke her heart more times than I

    can count. Right now, I don¡¯t know what to even think. Part of me wishes I had let her go because

    maybe she wouldn¡¯t be as broken as she is right now, the other parts is grateful I¡¯d stopped her

    because I wouldn¡¯t have gotten to know Noah or the wonderful woman she is.¡±

    The crushing weight that descends on me every time I remember all I put her through is almost

    unbearable. I should have tried harder; maybe then I wouldn¡¯t have this much regret weighing

    down on me.

    ¡°You¡¯re taking too much on your shoulders, Rowan. Sure, you hurt her, but you forget that we all

    yed our roles in breaking her. Both families have a hand in destroying her heart. You¡¯re not the

    only one to me for her broken pieces.¡± Mom puts a hand around my forearm, trying tofort

    me.¡°Your mother is right.¡± I turn to find my father standing next to the sliding doors.

    ¡°We all yed our part in hurting, Ava. We forgot that she came into our lives as a tiny baby girl.

    We forgot how much joy she brought us. We forgot how she used to make us allugh. We forgot

    that she was a girl who needed our love. That is on us. We were the parents, and you children

    followed our lead. We shunned her, and so you followed suit. If anyone is to me, then it¡¯s us. We

    failed as adults and that is on us,¡± he finishes, sping my shoulder in a tight grip. 1

    I know what they said was meant to make me feel better, but it doesn¡¯t. The rest mainly ignored

    Ava and treated her like she was invisible. I did worse. So much fucking worse, and that shit is all

    on me.

    I give them a small smile. I didn¡¯t want to dwell on this for long.

    Mom must have believed me because she takes my hand in hers.

    ¡°Come on, let¡¯s go before the others start wondering what¡¯s taking us so long,¡± she says, pulling me

    along while dad follows behind.

    I internally groan when I spot Emma. I knew she would be here, but knowing and seeing are two

    different things.

    ¡°Hey Ro. I¡¯m d you came.¡± Kate kisses both of my cheeks

    ¡°Yeah¡± it¡¯s the only response I can master, given that I¡¯m not really d to be here

    She gets distracted by my parents, and I see that as my chance to slip away.

    I head straight to my brother.

    ¡°How are things going?¡± he asks after the initial greeting.

    ¡°Terrible¡± I mumble, remembering the fight between me and Calvin the weekend before.

    It wasn¡¯t one of my greatest moments, but he just reminded me of the time he used to chase after

    Emma. That scared me because I was afraid that he was doing the same to Ava. Regardless of

    everything, Calvin is a good guy. That, more than anything, scared the crap out of me because it

    means that he actually has a chance if he were to shoot his shot.

    ¡°Any progress so far?¡± he asks.

    ¡°None. The only progress is that I managed to piss her off even more.¡±

    Gabe sighs. ¡°What did you do?¡±

    ¡°I got into a fight with Calvin. Turns out he is Gunner¡¯s father¡±

    I don¡¯t need to exin who Gunner is. Noah talks about him all the damn time. He tells everyone

    that he is his new best friend.

    ¡°I¡¯m confused. Who is Calvin?¡± Gabe asks, looking confused as hell.

    ¡°Nerdy Cal. You remember him?¡±

    It takes a while, but

    it the moment it downs on him.

    ¡°You¡¯re shitting me!¡± he yells. ¡°That Nerdy Cal? The one that used to follow Emma around all the

    time.¡±

    ¡°Yes, the same one¡±

    I still can¡¯t believe it. It¡¯s such a damn coincidence that I don¡¯t know what to think.

    ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± Travis asks as he walks towards us.

    I look behind him, thankful that Emma hadn¡¯t followed him. In fact, thinking about it now, I

    far away from Ava, then I didn¡¯t mind at all.

    ¡°Just that nerdy Cal is Gunner¡¯s dad, and Ro got into a fight with him,¡± Gabe answers.

    ¡°Seriously?¡± he asks before turning to me. ¡°Why? Was it because of Emma?

    Before I can answer him, we hear the front door open and then bang shut. Momentster we hear

    Ava¡¯s clear and angry voice shouting Emma¡¯s name.

    ¡°Emma?¡± she shouts again as she walks out of the house.

    ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± I turn to Travis.

    ¡°I have no idea¡±

    We step closer. Our eyes on Ava as she stomps towards Emma, who was standing next to our

    parents. Before anyone can do anything or stop her, she ps Emma so hard that she falls to the

    ground.

    ¡°What the hell, Ava?¡± Travis shouts as she rushes to help his sister.

    Emma, just like everyone else, was shocked. Ava, on the other hand, looked wired. She looked

    downright pissed. As if she was ready to rip someone¡¯s head off.

    ¡°Shut the fuck up, Travis¡± she says at him through clenched teeth.

    ¡°What¡¯s going on, Ava? Why would you attack your sister like that?¡± Kate asks as tears fills her

    eyes.

    She was torn. She didn¡¯t know which girl to choose, so she was waiting to see if Ava had a good

    reason before picking sides.

    This just shows how i

    side.

    she¡¯s changed. The previous Kate would immediately take Emma¡¯s

    ¡°That¡¯s what I would like to know.¡± Ava snarls and then res at Emma. ¡°I would like to know why

    you would do that, Emma. Why would you abandon your child? Your own son¡±

    We all stand stock still. Maybe we weren¡¯t hearing it right. Maybe Ava got it wrong. There is no

    way Emma had a child. She would have told her family.

    ¡°That¡¯s bullshit. Emma doesn¡¯t have a child, and she would never abandon her kid,¡± Travis defends.

    Avaughs as if she had lost her goddamn mind.

    ¡°That¡¯s what I thought at first, but I am not wrong¡± she asks

    *15 BONUS

    Said wome was now in Travis¡® arms Clutching his arm like her life depended on it. She had tears

    streaking down her cheeks and fear in her eyes. She was even fucking trembling. Even with all

    that, she didn¡¯t answer.

    Ava continues while looking at Emma like she in the scum of the earth.

    ¡°You¡¯re Gunner¡¯s mother, isn¡¯t that right Emma or are you going to continue pretending that you¡¯re

    not?¡±

    Ava delivers the final blow. One that none of us sawing. A blow that none of us were prepared.

    for.

 Chapter 101

    Emma

    The day I''ve been dreading was here. I was afraid of the truth getting out, but never in my wildest dream did I think that Ava would be the one to reveal it.I''ve tried so hard to keep it a secret. It was my shame to bear, and now everyone knew. Rowan knew.

    Among everyone, he''s the one I didn''t ever want to know.

    "You mean Noah''s best friend? That Gunner?" Gabe asks, his voice ringing in shock.I flinch at his name. I''d tried all I could to keep my life separate from him. To not get involved in his life. Everything was now nothing but a mess.

    "Yes, Gabe. Isn''t it just a fucking coincidence? If he and Cal had never moved in next to us, then I would never havefigured it out, and Emma would have continued with her deception while hurting a little boy who craved the love of his mother."

    I feel the anger that radiates from Ava. It was scorching hot. Never in my life have I ever seen Ava look at me with such contempt.I curse her luck. I didn''t know that Cal had moved next to Ava or that our sons had be best friends. If I''d known, I would have demanded that Cal to move.

    "You''re lying. Emma would never do something like that. You just want to cause us more trouble. Haven''t you done enough? Your parents nearly bankrupted ourpany!"

    Travis yells at her.I know my brother. I know he''s just frustrated and confused. Otherwise, he would never have talked to Ava that way. Especially since he''s trying to mend bridges with her.

    "Like I told you before, Travis, shut the fuck up. This is between me and your bitch of a sister, and as for thepany, well, you deserve it. Just for the way you''ve talked to me, I might just decide to sink that fuckingpany myself."

    The horror in Travis eyes is real. It just hit him that he''s managed to piss her off even more. That''s the thing about Travis, he rarely thinks before he speaks. I love him, but it makes me wonder how the hell he survived being CEO.

    "Even though he didn''t deliver his words well, Travis is right, Ava. You can''te here using Emma without proof. We would have known if she had a child. Damn, Kate would have been the first to know," Rowan''s dad says, trying to appease Ava, who looked like she was about to blow.

    He was right. My mother would have been the first to know about the pregnancy had I not been ashamed of it in the first ce.I never wanted to carry anyone''s baby except for Rowan''s.

    When I got pregnant, I was ashamed of the pregnancy. Ashamed of how I got pregnant in the first ce. So to keep that shame hidden, I never told a single person except my best friend. Molly was the only one who knew I had a son."The proof is staring right in front of you." Ava snarls.

    "If I were wrong, why the hell hasn''t she said anything? Because, knowing Emma, she would havee out guns zing if I were lying, yet she is as quiet as a tomb."

    They all turn to me, but I have nothing to say. My brain wasn''t functioning. If I could I would have called Molly for guidance. I was alone while dealing with the aftermath of Ava''s revtion.I hate her for this. For ruining everything.

    Everything had been going well even though we hadn''t sorted our differences with Rowan. I know eventually we would have.Rowan was the other reason I didn''t tell anyone about my pregnancy back them. I was still hurting and I wanted him to continuing hurting because he''s the one that destroyed what we had.

    How then could I expect him to regret losing me if he found out I got pregnant for another man?He would have let go of the regret because we would have been even. I know it makes me selfish, but I didn''t want that. I wanted him to continue hurting. It was my punishment to him for sleeping with Ava.

    "You know what? I don''t even care if you believe me or not. I''m not here for any of you. I''m here for that little boy who doesn''t understand why his mother doesn''t want anything to do with him. Why she doesn''t love him. How do you even sleep at night, Emma?" Ava''s voice turns soft towards thest part.

    I''m not a psychologist, but I think Gunner''s situation reminds her of her trauma. Mom and Daddy wanted nothing to do with her growing up.I look at the ground, not able to withstand her piercing eyes, but she doesn''t let me.

    "Look at me when I''m talking to you," she demands, her tone turning deadly.

    Her aura demanded attention. Against my better judgment, I lift my eyes to hers. This was something I wasn''t used to when it came to Ava. She has never been dominant. She was always the weak one, and for a moment, I get scared of the inferno burning in her eyes.

    "Why would you do this to Gunner? Honestly, Emma, you''re the one who always dreamed of having children, so why would you do this to your own son? Do you hate him so much that you''re capable of living and pretending like he doesn''t exist?"

    Before I can say anything, she cuts me off."I always thought you were perfect. Even when things went sour, I still thought you were good, turns out you''re nothing but a bitch, because only a heartless bitch would abandon their son the way you abandoned Gunner. I hope whatever made you abandon him was worth it, because he doesn''t deserve this.

    He doesn''t deserve the pain you''re causing him."With that she turns around and leaves without saying another word to any of us. Rowan tries following her, but Gabe grabs his arms and stops him. He whispers something in his ear, and Rowan sags in defeat.

    "Is it true, Emma? Do you really have a son?"

    Mom asks in a shaky and sad voice. Tears was rapidly filling her eyes "Please tell me Ava wasn''t telling the truth"

    Part of me wants to lie, but what would be the use? The seed has already been nted. It would simply take a DNA test to confirm what I''ve been trying to run away from for the past eight years.I sigh in defeat as tears fill my eyes.

    "Yes. Gunner is my son."

 Chapter 102

    Her side of the story

    Mom copses in the chair after my admission. The heartbroken look in her eyes was undoing

    me. The disappointed look she gave me nearly made me crumble on the spot.

    Travis, who had been holding me, lets go as if I had burned him. He backs away from me slowly

    until he¡¯s a few feet away.

    I know the rest had varying degrees of shock, but they didn¡¯t matter to me right now. Not when

    my family was looking at me like they didn¡¯t know me. Like I was a stranger.

    ¡°Please tell me you¡¯re ying a sick joke on me,¡± Mom pleads. ¡°Tell me you didn¡¯t have a child and

    kept him hidden from us all these years.¡±

    I want to lie to them just so the heartbroken and disappointed look in their eyes will disappear. I

    know that I can no longer do that. There was no hiding from this. There was no more running from

    the truth.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. So sorry,¡± I cry as I stumble towards her. ¡°I wanted to tell you, but I was so ashamed.¡±

    I go to take her hand, but she flinches and pulls it away.

    This is what I¡¯ve been so afraid of. Ava was right. I was the perfect daughter. The one who never

    made any mistakes.

    The one that thought things through before, except for that one time. Now their image of me is

    tarnished. Now they know that I am just like them. Human. The Ace card I had over Ava was gone. 2

    I was in the same boat as Ava. I made mistakes that are now hunting me. Sleeping with Calvin

    remains the greatest mistak

    y life.

    ¡°H¨CHow did this happen? When did it happen¡­did dad now?¡± Travis asks as he paces, frustration

    clear in his steps.

    ¡°Dad didn¡¯t know. No one except Calvin and Molly knew.¡± I look at the ground, unable to face the

    look on my mom¡¯s face.

    ¡°Start from the beginning and don¡¯t leave a single thing out. I want to know why the hell you¡¯ve

    kept my grandson a secret from his family,¡± Mom growls, her eyes turning fierce.

    I didn¡¯t want to rehash the past, but at this point, I don¡¯t think I had any choice. If I didn¡¯t want

    them to be even madder than they were right now, then I had to spill it.

    ¡°When Rowan married Ava, I was broken I tried not to let it show. Tried to make you, dad, and

    Travis believe I was okay because you were all so worried about me. I felt like I was drowning,

    Mom. Like my world had exploded, and I¡¯d been left with nothing. When I went back to school, I

    didn¡¯t tell any of you, but I fell into depression.

    I sit down on the grass, feeling as small as I did back then when I learned that Rowan had slept

    with Ava.

    ¡°I was fading away. I didn¡¯t eat, I didn¡¯t sleep, and I didn¡¯t attend sses. In fact, I rarely left my

    room. Molly noticed this. She started pushing, and when I refused to get better, she threatened to

    call you guys to let you know. I didn¡¯t want you to know how I was struggling. I didn¡¯t want Ava to

    find out how tough things were for me.¡±

    I was lost in memory. I had so much bitterness and resentment towards Ava back then. I thought

    if she ever found out how far I¡¯d fallen, she would have been ecstatic. It was probably a year and a

    halfter that I discovered she had been going through her own kind of hell.

    ¡°Things were going well after that. Molly became my anchor. My grades were improving, and I

    didn¡¯t constantly cry or think about Rowan every second.¡± I take a deep breath ¡°It was by

    coincidence that I met Calvin again. It turns out we went to the same Uni and he was also Molly¡¯s

    assignment partner.¡± 2

    ¡°I didn¡¯t really talk to him. After all, we weren¡¯t friends. I tolerated him because he was Molly¡¯s

    friend, and when he didn¡¯t show any remnants of the obsession he had for me in high school, I

    stopped being weary of him. We co¨Cexisted. He stayed out of my way and I stayed out of his.¡±

    Fuck. This was hard. I wanted to stop, but now more than ever, I knew they wouldn¡¯t let me.

    ¡°Like I said, things were going well for some time. They weren¡¯t perfect, but they were bearable.

    That is, until the night m alled me to let me know that Ava had given birth to a baby boy and

    that Rowan fell in love with his son at first sight. Everything around me crumbled, and all the pain

    I¡¯d been hiding came to the surface.¡± I try to breathe through the pain of the memories, but it was

    so fucking hard.

    ¡°I was in pain, and I was really angry. Angry at myself for turning down Rowan¡¯s proposal, angry at

    Rowan for getting drunk and sleeping with Ava, angry at Ava for getting pregnant and marrying

    the man I loved and angry at the baby for being born.¡±

    I hear a sharp intake of air. I don¡¯t need to turn to know that it is from Rowan. I still struggle with

    being around Noah because if everything had gone the way I wanted it to, then he would have

    *15 BONUS

    ¡°I wanted to punish Rowan To hurt him like he hurt me I knew he always disliked Calvin for the way he

    crushed on me, so that night I approached Calvin and seduced him I knew word would probably get back

    to Rowan, and that would have hurt him. That¡¯s why I slept with Calvin that night, because I counted on

    Rowan¡¯s friend telling him. He would have been so hurt, I would have gotten my revenge, and maybe

    then it would no longer hurt as much.¡±

    I don¡¯t tell them, but it¡¯s also how I lost my virginity. I was saving it for Rowan and in the end I gave it to

    the guy who kept fighting for me to love him.

    ¡°I regretted it the next morning. It had been foolish of me to sleep with a guy I didn¡¯t even like just to get

    back at the man I loved. I told Calvin that it was a mistake and that he should forget about what

    happened between us. I snuck out of his room, and I thought that was that. That it was a terrible one¨C

    night stand and that would be the end of it.¡±

    Fuck had I been wrong. I hadn¡¯t nned for what was toe next. What destiny had nned for

    us.¡°We went back to ignoring each other like the other didn¡¯t exist, that is, until my period waste. A

    cheap test. andter, a doctor¡¯s appointment confirmed that I was pregnant.¡±

    It had been the worst news I¡¯ve ever received. Deep in my heart, I believed that one day Rowan and I

    would get back together. I didn¡¯t want an unwanted baby to hinder that. I didn¡¯t want the

    consequences of my mistake to always be in my face.

    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you get an emergency pill the morning after?¡± mom asks, making me blush a little.

    ¡°Apart from being aplete mess, everything was new to me. To put it inly, I was naive. It

    was the¨Cthe first time I¡¯ve ever h¨Chad s¨Csex so I didn¡¯t really know that I should have. It was one

    time, so I assumed tha¡® n¡¯t really enough to get me pregnant. Looking back, maybe if I¡¯d told

    Molly, she would have aused me to get one, but like I said, I was so ashamed, I didn¡¯t want

    anyone to know.¡±

    ¡°You want to tell me that during all the years you dated Rowan, you never slept together? You

    were still a virgin?¡± Travis asks in disbelief.

    I knew Rowan wasn¡¯t. Before we started dating, which was at seventeen, he¡¯d previously been

    sleeping with anything that walked and had a vagina. When I¡¯d told him I wasn¡¯t ready, he

    understood. We nned to wait till I was ready. My biggest regret was holding out on him.

    Rowan releases a groan ufortably ¡°Can we not talk about this? It was years ago

    ¡°To answer your question, yes I was still a virgin. Anyway,¡± 1 paused. ¡°I told Calvin about the

    baby. I didn¡¯t want the child and I wanted to get rid of it, but he wouldn¡¯t let me

    ¡°You wanted an abortion?¡± Mom asks, her voice ringing with horror and disappointment.

    I couldn¡¯t do anything, but nod my head. ¡°Calvin threatened to tell you and dad if I went ahead

    with my ns. I didn¡¯t want you to know about my mistake, so I agreed to carry the baby to term

    and he would keep his mouth shut. It was the worst period because I was forced to carry a baby I

    didn¡¯t want but had no other choice.¡±

    ¡°That was during the time youpletely stayed away.¡± Travis whispers. ¡°You wouldn¡¯t even

    allow us toe visit you.¡±

    I¡¯d made excuses during that time.

    When I got bigger, Calvin took me to a house his grandfather owned, which he left to him when he

    died. I didn¡¯t want word to get back to Rowan. That¡¯s where I stayed until I gave birth.

    ¡°I convinced the school to let me take online sses, and since I was actually doing well, there

    wasn¡¯t a need to call you or anything. I stayed with Calvin off campus until I gave birth.¡±

    I see Mom¡¯s eyes fill. I know that it hurts her that she wasn¡¯t there when her grandson was born,

    but it was my decision and I had decided I didn¡¯t want the baby.

    ¡°When I gave birth, I told the nurses to give the baby to Calvin. I didn¡¯t want anything to do with

    him. To me, my job was done and now I could be free from the shackles Calvin tied around me

    when he forced me to keep the baby¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t even look at y

    wn child?¡± Mom asks.

    hild?¡±

    ¡°No. I didn¡¯t want to. To me he was the symbol of my worst mistake. I didn¡¯t want to see him, hold

    him or be in his life¡± 1

    I know it makes me look like an absolute bitch, but I honestly don¡¯t care. It was my decision, and

    it¡¯s what I wanted. 1

    I left the hospital the morning after. Calvin worked two jobs just so he could afford the bill for the

    hospital. I didn¡¯t care about how the baby was. How he was doing, what he was eating, and so on.

    All I wanted to do was forget that I¡¯d had another man¡¯s baby.

    ¡°And you continued living your life like he didn¡¯t exist, right? Like he was nothing at all?¡± Mom asks,

    standing up.

    ¡°Mom¡­¡±

    ¡°Just shut up!¡± she yells before repeating softly. ¡°Just shut up. Today, you¡¯ve managed to destroy the

    remaining piece of my heart. As if losing your father and Ava wasn¡¯t punishment enough, now I find out

    what a cruel daughter I really have¡­I can¡¯t even look at you right now; I just can¡¯t.¡±

    With that, she walks away. Leaving me sobbing on the floor.

    I look at the rest, and one by one, they walk away too. Travis is thest to leave.

    He shakes his head in what I think is disgust.

    ¡°Of all the people, I never expected this from you, Emma. Not you,¡± he says, and then he too walks away.

    I stay on the ground, crying. Everything had been perfect before she walked here and ruined everything.

    This was Ava¡¯s fucking fault. Her and her big mouth. I will never forgive her for this.

    Never.

 Chapter 103

    His side of the story103.

    +15 BONUS

    Calvin

    I wait. I wait patiently for her toe back. I didn¡¯t know where she went, but I can take a pretty

    damn good guess. She was mad; I understand that more than anything. If anyone is pissed off and

    hurt at what Emma has been doing, then it¡¯s me. She has caused me and Gunner more hurt than

    I¡¯m ever willing to admit.

    I hear the door unlock, but I don¡¯t move. I¡¯m not even sure what the hell I am doing here. The boys

    are at my house with the nanny. For some reason, I feel like I should be here.

    Ava stops dead in her tracks. ¡°Cal, I didn¡¯t expect you to still be here.¡±

    Her eyes were red and puffy. She has been crying; that much is clear. Words honestly fail me. I

    have no fucking idea what the hell to tell her.

    ¡°I thought I would wait for you,¡± I say as she takes a seat. ¡°Where have you been?¡±

    I knew where she went after she realized that Emma was Gunner¡¯s mom. That was hours ago. I

    don¡¯t know where she went after. I¡¯m sure confronting Emma didn¡¯t take almost three hours.

    ¡°I needed to think, so I just drove around,¡± she whispers. ¡°Gosh! This is so hard for me. Not only

    because I love Gunner like my own and it kills me to watch him hurt, but

    also because I see

    myself in him.¡±

    I don¡¯t know much about Ava. I was about two years ahead of her in school. We weren¡¯t friends

    back then, and I didn¡¯t pa ention to any girl that wasn¡¯t Emma.

    Even now, I don¡¯t know much about her. I kept myself closed off. I felt it would be unfair to dig

    deep into her life when I barely told her anything deep about mine. All I know is that Rowan hurt

    her pretty badly. Just like Emma destroyed.

    ¡°Why?¡± I ask curiously.

    Because I suffered the same fate as him when I was younger. I was unwanted. For me, it was

    nuch harder because I was unwanted by both my family and Rowan¡¯s family. I didn¡¯t understand

    why they didn¡¯t like me. I tried so hard to get them to love me, but they never did. In fact, it got

    Jorse as I got older.¡±

    +15 BONUM

    I didn¡¯t know that about het. Unlike other boys who tried getting close to her so they could get

    close to Emma, I didn¡¯t I thought their tactic was downright cruel Using one sister to get another

    was utterly disgusting

    ¡°I¡¯m soony, Ava.¡±

    There was nothing else I could say tofort her. I don¡¯t even know how tofort Gunner when

    was

    he asks about Emma, so how can Ifort Ava?

    ¡°It¡¯s okay It was a long time ago, and I¡¯m slowly starting to heal,¡± she pauses. ¡°In any case, this

    isn¡¯t about me. I want to know the truth. How did Emma end up being Gunner¡¯s mom?¡±

    I sigh. I was dreading this question. Not because I don¡¯t want to tell her what happened, but

    because I don¡¯t want to remember the painful memories,

    ¡°Well, you know about my love for her from high school,¡± I start and she nods.

    ¡°Yes, definitely. Everyone knew it, just like everyone knew I wanted Rowan.¡±

    This was so messed up. We both somehow ended up with the people we wanted, but in the end, it

    turned out to be a nightmare. Both of us got hurt really, fucking badly. Maybe we should have

    stayed away from them. It seems like Rowan and Emma were meant to be. It¡¯s like Ava and I got

    punished for getting in the way of that.

    ¡°We¡¯ll I tried everything to get her to notice me, but she never did. It wasn¡¯t even possible when

    the person I had topete against was Rowan. Like you said when we met again, I was nerdy,

    Cal. There was nothing sexy about me,¡± I began, but Ava interrupted me by chuckling.

    ¡°Have you seen yourself in sses? You¡¯re like a woman¡¯s nerdy fantasy. You probably star in

    Iugh at that despite mys

    ¡°Maybe now, but not back then. Emma was probably disgusted with me. I mean,e on, even I

    have to admit I looked terrible back then. I wouldn¡¯t have wanted to date myself¡± I continued.

    ¡°We finished high school, and in the summer before college, I decided to work on myself. It took a

    lot of effort, but I got to the point where I was actually proud of how I looked. I even started getting

    appreciative nces from girls.¡±

    It had been the highlight of my life at that age. It felt good to be attractive. It felt fucking great.

    ¡°I joined college and continued working further on myself I became unrecognizable I drowned in

    college life. The girls, parties, and booze. Life was great. I had girls all over me. I had my pick from a

    large pool. Soon, I started to forget about Emma. There was no use crying over a girl that didn¡¯t

    want me when I could have someone else¡±

    Ava nods her head in understanding. I know she didn¡¯t enjoy college life. Not after she fell

    pregnant at eighteen. She then became a mother and wife. She didn¡¯t have time to be a normal

    college student with no worries or responsibilities. At least I got to have that experience before

    Emma appeared back in my life.

    ¡°Everything was going great until my grandfather had a stroke and became paralyzed. My

    grandfather raised me after both my parents died in an ident. He was all that I had given; I

    didn¡¯t know any other family member alive. I changed schools so that I could be closer to him. It

    was easier to take care of him that way¡±

    Ava¡¯s eyes widens as she swings her finger back and forth. ¡°You transferred to the university

    Emma and Rowan were¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡± I simply answer. ¡°I saw them around campus, but unlike before, I kept my distance. I

    didn¡¯t want trouble, and besides, I had a lot going on. I didn¡¯t have any time for meaningful

    rtionships except for hookups, and that was totally fine with me. I had locked my heart after

    Emma¡¯s constant rejection. I wasn¡¯t willing to let anyone in¡±

    I still loved her, and it killed me seeing her and Rowan almost every day, but I epted it. She

    simply didn¡¯t want me. There was nothing I could do about that.

    ¡°My grandfather passed away, and it was the most challenging time of my fucking life. I took a

    few weeks off school only toe back to the news that the campus¡® IT couple had broken up. I

    honestly couldn¡¯t belie Especially when I learned that Rowan had cheated on Emma. It was

    honestly unbelievable.¡±

    I never expected that. Everyone was sure of their love. Sure that they would stay together and get

    married. No one ever thought that Rowan would sleep with someone else.

    ¡°After that, Emma came back as a totally different person. It was like she was dead on the inside.

    The few times you saw her outside her dorm, she looked like a fucking zombie. I wanted to

    turned out to be her best friend and roommate.¡±

    I didn¡¯t want to be involved with anyone in Emma¡¯s life. When Molly was assigned as my partner, I

    15 BONUSMy eyes shift to Ava She looks captivated Like she couldn¡¯t even remove her eyes from mine,

    even if she wanted to

    ¡°I tried to stay out of her way. I didn¡¯t want to be a nuisance like I had been back in high school ! realized

    you couldn¡¯t force love and Emma definitely didn¡¯t love me¡±

    It had been a sad realization, but a much¨Cneeded one.

    ¡°You¡¯re right,¡± Ava says sadly. ¡°If only I¡¯d realized that earlier, like you did. It would¡¯ve probably saved me

    from a lot of heartache.¡±

    Grabbing her hand, I squeeze it. ¡°Well, it didn¡¯t work out for me¡­ One day, out of the blues, Emma

    showed up at my dorm room and kissed me. It was unexpected, but it was the best kiss I¡¯ve ever

    received. I thought it was a dream when she asked me to make love to her, but it wasn¡¯t. she actually

    wanted me¡±

    I still remember that day like it was yesterday. She had been a virgin, and even though I¡¯d slept with

    countless girls, she had been by far the best. Probably because I had feelings for her.

    ¡°I went to sleep thinking that finally it happened. That, finally she had noticed and wanted to build

    something with me. Only I had been wrong. We woke up the next morning, and she was disgusted with

    herself. I tried talking to her. I tried telling her that I still loved her, but she said. she¡¯d been using me to

    get back at Rowan for sleeping with you¡±

    That was the first time I found out that the girl Rowan slept with and knocked up was Ava.

    ¡°You can¡¯t imagine the pain that hit me. I felt crushed. I loved her with my body, only to find out that she

    didn¡¯t feel a thing. That she was only using me. The betrayal I felt nearly destroyed me. We kept our

    distance ag hat is until she told me she was pregnant.¡±

    I¡¯d been scared, to say the least. I didn¡¯t know how to be a father. For heaven¡¯s sake, I¡¯d never even

    been near any babies. It was overwhelming, but I knew I loved the baby already.

    ¡°She wanted to get an abortion, I couldn¡¯t let that happen, so I threatened her.¡± I take a deep breath,

    feeling my throat close tightly against the bubbling emotions. ¡°I took her to my grandfather¡¯s house. I¡¯d

    hoped things would get better. That she would learn to love the baby and

    me, but I was wrong.¡±

    ¡°She was hell to live with. I won¡¯t lie to you; during that time we still had sex when the mood struck her,

    but it didn¡¯t make up for the ugly way she behaved towards me. She would curse me,

    15 BONUS

    and the baby

    I look at the floor. I tried to understand that she was going through a lot. That she was pregnant.

    heartbroker, and still in love with another man. That¡¯s why I let her let out her frustrations on me

    ¡°It was hard I wanted to walk away so many times, but then I would remember my child. Sometimes I

    would remember the times she was sweet, or when she cried and begged me not to leave her. I was also

    hurting while trying help her with her pain.

    Ava takes my hand and squeezes it. Lending me her strength as I felt mine diminish.

    ¡°When Gunner was born, she refused to see him. She went back to being a stone¨Ccold bitch. She told

    me she never wanted to see me or him again. I took my baby and left the hospital. I didn¡¯t hear from her

    until probably a yearter.

    ¡°What did she want?¡± Ava asks.

    I didn¡¯t want to tell her this part because I¡¯m ashamed of it. Ashamed of how I let Emma use me for

    years.

    ¡°Sex.¡± I breathe. ¡°She wanted sex. She said she tried sleeping with other men, but she couldn¡¯t bring

    herself to. I was overwhelmed with being a single father so I gave in. I wanted the release.

    The next morning, when I woke up, she was gone. She didn¡¯t even want to see her son, nor did she

    say goodbye.¡±

    I continue. ¡°It went on like that for years. She would drop by just to have sex with me. I let it go so long

    because I¡¯d hoped she would change. That she would learn to love me and our son, but she

    was only interested in what my body could give her.¡±

    I feel sick to my stomac]

    tell Ava everything. I feel disgusted with myself for allowing her to

    use me for so long. Most of the time, I hated both her and me. Her, for hurting me and myself for

    being weak.

    ¡°The day Gunner saw her, he was about seven years old, and she was sneaking out in the morning. He

    had been awake. Gunner asked me if she was his mom. I couldn¡¯t lie to him, so I told him the

    truth. She got angry because I told Gunner the truth and left without even greeting him.¡±

    I¡¯d felt so angry and bitter toward her. So resentful because I had to pick up the pieces of my son¡¯s

    broken heart.

    ¡°I called her and told her to give her rtionship with Gunner a chance. When she refused, I cut

    Gunner.¡±

    ¡°I wanted a fresh change for me and Gunner, so we moved here, where I was born and raised. I

    wanted a fresh start with him. I just didn¡¯t know that you would be my neighbor or that Emma too

    had moved back home.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry for everything you¡¯ve gone through, but I¡¯m d you saw your worth. You¡¯re a great guy,

    Cal, and you deserve someone who¡¯ll love you wholeheartedly,¡± she says with a smile.

    I smile back at her.

    ¡°Thanks Ava, you too deserve the world after what you went through with Rowan.¡±

    I pull her int

    shoulders.

    arms and hug her. I feel so lighthearted. Like a burden had been lifted from my

    I didn¡¯t want to tell Ava this, but I was d when I realized that she would be my neighbor. I

    wanted her to figure it out. I wanted her to tell everyone the truth because I was so sick of Emma

    keeping him a secret. I was d that now everyone knew what kind of woman she truly is.

 Chapter 104

    Something wrong with me

    Ava

    My brain cells were totally fried.

    I¡¯ve been sitting here since Calvin left about an hour ago. I asked him if Noah could stay the night

    at his house today and he agreed.

    I was still trying to grasp all that I learnt today. It was too much information all at once. I didn¡¯t

    know how to handle all of it.

    My phone rings. For a second I think of ignoring, but decide against it. It might be an emergency.

    I swipe the screen sightlessly. I put the gadget to my ear, but don¡¯t say a thing. My mind was

    ¡°Ava¡± she breathes. ¡°Thank God. Are you okay? Travis told me what happened today¡±

    Immediately I recognize her voice. Letty.

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure, honestly¡± I reply in a whisper.

    I still didn¡¯t understand how Emma could be so cruel to Calvin and Gunner. I know that she always

    wanted to carry Rowan¡¯s children, but to reject her own flesh and blood because he doesn¡¯t have

    Rowan¡¯s DNA is downright malicious.

    ¡°Travis told me you¡¯re the one that discovered the truth and exposed Emma¡¯s lie¡±

    Knowing how a parent¡¯s rejection feels like, Ipletely understood Gunner¡¯s pain. I took his pain

    as my own because he r ded me so much of myself.

    He didn¡¯t choose Emma to be his mother, yet she hurt him as if he was nothing. That pissed me of

    and broke my heart at the same time.

    ¡°Yes. It was just by coincidence I guess¡±

    ¡°How? How were you able to figure it out¡± she asks, her voice in disbelief.

    I don¡¯t know whether it¡¯s from finding out that Emma has a son or it¡¯s from her inability to

    understand how I came by the truth.

    ¡°His smile¡± I breathe. ¡°He¡¯s smiled at me many times before, but there was this day it just hit me

    was young snapped in my head His smile was simr to hers

    ¡°Cal never said anything before?¡±

    ¡°Never but when I mentioned Emma¡¯s name, hepletely froze. That gave everything away.

    Also the fact that he didn¡¯t correct me¡±

    It still seems so surreal. I can¡¯t imagine my life without Noah so I don¡¯t understand how Emma

    was able to live like her son didn¡¯t exist.

    ¡°Tell me everything¡± she insists and I proceed to tell her everything from how it started to how we

    got here.

    By the time I am done, I¡¯m crying once again. I didn¡¯t want to project my pain, but it was really

    hard.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t know where I was going until I was at Kate¡¯s house¡± I tell her. I had stopped calling her

    mother a few months ago. ¡°I felt so angry on his behalf and mine. I wanted to do something for

    him. Something no one did for me when I was little and they treated me with cruel disdain. I

    wanted to stand up for him and call Emma out on her behavior¡±

    It was something I¡¯d prayed for when I was growing up. Other parents noticed how Kate and

    James treated me, yet they said nothing. Hell, even Rowan¡¯s parents kept quiet and followed their

    friends¡® lead. No one stood up for me or what was right. So I decided to do it for Gunner.

    ¡°I understand you babe. No child should suffer through how your Kate and James treated you or

    how Emma treated Gunner. You were right for exposing what a bitch she is¡± (1

    I felt so relieved. There was this part of me that felt like maybe I shouldn¡¯t have done it. Like I

    could have handled it

    r, but I was so angry that I couldn¡¯t even think straight. I couldn¡¯t help

    it. All I thought about as I drove is; Like mother, like daughter 2I was about to say something when my

    doll bell rung.

    ¡°Someone¡¯s at my door, Letty. I have to go¡±

    I felt so tired and drained. Both emotionally and physically.

    ¡°Okay. We¡¯ll talk tomorrow. I know it has been a tiring day for you¡±

    We both say our goodnights and hang up. I consider ignoring the person on the door. Like I said, I

    was tired. I didn¡¯t want to see anyone.

    I slowly use up and ge open the door

    ¡°Rowan, what are you doing here?¡± I ask in surpris

    I am mitpitted to see him if I am being honest, I was expecting him to be by Emma¡¯s side,

    ¡°Can Ie in?¡± he asks instead of answering.

    Something must be wrong with me because I step aside and let him in. He gives me a small smile

    as he enters my house.

    ¡°Is Noah asleep?¡± he asks while taking off his cont

    ¡°Probably, though he¡¯s not here. Today he¡¯ll be sleeping over at Calvin¡¯s¡±

    I see anger sh in his eyes at his name. For a moment I think he¡¯s going to start a fight over Cal,

    but he literally forces himself to calm down. I almost p for him at his show of control.

    ¡°Fuck. It¡¯s crazy how today turned out.¡± He pauses. ¡°How are you holding up?¡±

    I know and I¡¯ve seen some massive changes in him recently, but today it¡¯s just sort of hitting me

    hard. Before he wouldn¡¯t have cared. In fact he would haveshed out at me for hurting Emma.

    Could it honestly be possible that he has changed?

    I shake my head to push away those thoughts. I¡¯m being absurd. He had nine years to change yet

    he never did. It¡¯s not possible for him to have a change of heart all of a sudden. 2

    ¡°I¡¯m good¡± I say, then take a while to consider what I just said. ¡°Scratch that. I¡¯m definitely not

    okay. I feel like I¡¯ve been scraped raw¡±

    He walks closer to me

    pulls me in his arms. I feel his body heat. I feel him entirely. He is hard

    in every ce where I am soft.

    I should be pushing him away, but for some reason I am not. My mind waspletely empty and

    numb from exhaustion. If I had been thinking clearly, I would have told him to leave.

    ¡°What can I do to ease your pain? I know this must be hard for you and not just because it

    concerns Gunner¡±

    My heart skips a bit. I¡¯m shocked that he understands that not all of what I am feeling right now is

    because of Gunner, but also because of my own pain.

    1 look at his feet, but he cups my cheek and makes me look at him.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know, Rowan¡± I whisper.

    He caresses my cheek softly. His fingers skimming over my cheek and neck. He then pushes a lock of

    my hair behind my ear.

    His grey eyes sh with mine. He stares at me in a way that I used to dream about. He stares at

    me like he wants. Like I am his world, which is impossible, right?

    ¡°I know of one way to distract you¡± he starts. ¡°If I bend and take those pretty pink lips, will you let me?¡± he

    ask, as my heart begins to race.

    I just stare at him.

    ¡®Tell him no¡® I whisper to myself.

    Say no, Ava. Push him away

    I know I should, but I can¡¯t think straight and my mouth won¡¯t move to form the damn words.

    His head descends as if in slow motion. Finally, his firm and soft lips touch mine.

    Something must really be wrong with me because I slowly open my mouth and let him slip his

    tongue in. I close my eyes at the fiery emotions that take over.

    I feel him in every fiber as our mouths mold and our tongues dance together. My legs weaken and

    I almost copse to the floor, but his arm around my waist hold me up.

    I always wondered what authors talked about when they said ¡®earth shattering kiss¡®. This was it.

    My senses really hav the building because I grab the back of his head and deepen the kiss. It¡¯s like I

    couldn¡¯t get enough of him and I just wanted more. Even Ethan¡¯s kisses didn¡¯t feel this

    way.

    I get lost in his kiss as he devours my mouth. This was exactly what I always dreamed of. I always

    wanted Rowan to kiss me like he wanted me. This what I¡¯d wanted from him every time he came home

    from work or left in the morning. This was what I wanted every time we made love. We

    never got that though. Not because I didn¡¯t try, but because he never wanted me.

    ¡°You tried being a descent fuck but you weren¡¯t even good at it. Every time I was inside you, it¡¯s Emma I

    wanted, it¡¯s Emma I imagined beneath me. Every time I cummed, it¡¯s her face I saw. You were nothing

    special, just easy and so I used you. I used you like the fucking slut you are¡± (2)

    The words he flung at me a couple of months ago hit my head like a wrecking ball. I wrench myself from

    his hands, as the words y over and over in my head. Tormenting me now, like they did when I first

    heard them from his mouth.

    I was breathing hard as I stared at him.

    ¡°Ava?¡± he calls in confusion

    ¡°Every time I was inside you, it¡¯s Emma I wanted, it¡¯s Emma I imagined beneath me¡± I quote his words.

    ¡°You were nothing special, just easy and so I used you like the fucking slut you are¡±

    ¡°Ava¡± he tries again, his voice barely above a whisper.

    My tears start filling and obstructing my view of him.

    his

    ¡°That¡¯s what you said to me. You said I was nothing but an easy fuck and a ce holder for your

    precious Emma¡±

    Why the hell did it still hurt? Is it because he kissed me like he wanted me when in reality we know that

    he never cared for me?

    ¡°Listen to me, Ava. Please¡± he begs, but I don¡¯t see him. The only thing I see is his face twisted into a

    mean re as he shattered my heart with those words.

    ¡°Please leave, Rowan¡±

    ¡°No¡± he stands his ground. ¡°Not until you listen to me¡±

    I just wanted him to leave me alone. I just wanted to go to sleep and forget that we kissed.

    ¡°Fine then¡± I turn around and take my car keys.

    ¡°What are you doing? ne asks.

    ¡°If you won¡¯t leave, then I will.¡±

    I was just about to step into the hallway when his voice stops me.

    ¡°I¡¯ll leave. It¡¯ste and you shouldn¡¯t be out by yourself¡±

    I don¡¯t say anything. Just wait for him to leave.

    He starts to and I begin breathing relief. That stops when he steps next to me. Before I can do anything,

    he tips my chin up and ces a gently kiss on my lips then on my forehead.

    I re at him.

    Instead. he gives me a small smile before he quietly leaves. The moment I hear his car leave, I

    lock my door and rush upstairs to my room.

    After changing I get into my bed and will my tired mind to sleep. I still couldn¡¯t believe that I

    kissed Rowan. It felt so damn good and that¡¯s what scares me.

    It¡¯s easy to give in to this new version of him, but I can¡¯t because no matter what I can¡¯t risk getting hurt

    by him again and we all know if there is something Rowan is good at, it¡¯s hurting me.

 Chapter 105

    The bright lighting through my window makes me open my eyes. Instead of getting upimmediately, I just stay in bed for a while as I rub my belly and feel my baby move inside me.

    I look at the calendar on my bedside table and realize that today I just hit the sixth¨Cmonthmilestone. It¡¯s scary to have a baby. The whole journey is filled with uncertainty. I always make sure to thank God each time I pass a milestone with my baby, knowing not all babies get to be born.

    After saying a small thank¨Cyou prayer, I get up and move downstairs. I could always showerter,but right now I am hungry. With everything that happened yesterday, I forgot to eat.

    Thinking about yesterday brings me to what happened with Rowan. I still can¡¯t believe that I let him k*ss me or that I actually enjoyed it.

    It bugs me so much that I wanted more. I wanted him to deepen the k*ss. I wanted him to take itfurther. I can me it on the hormones, but we all know that I¡¯d be lying to myself.

    Rowan hurt me so much. The fact that I wanted him yesterday makes me hate myself just a little bit. I promised myself to move on, yet there I was making out with him in my living room.

    I want to believe that Rowan has changed, but I just can¡¯t. Even if, by some miracle, he has, don¡¯t you think it¡¯s a little toote for us? Too much has already happened for us to make something outof the mess he created.

    Taking out the ingredients for breakfast, I get to work. No matter what I try, I still can¡¯t stop thinking about the k*ss. For heaven¡¯s sake, why the hell did this k*ss affect me so much? I just don¡¯t F***ing get it, honestly.

    I groan in frustration, wishing I could erase the feel of his l*ps on mine.

    ¡°What¡¯s got you so frustrated?¡± Calvin¡¯s voice startles me so much that I let go of the eggs I was holding.

    ¡°Jeez, Cal, you scared the living day lights out of me,¡± I say with my hand pressing hard on my beating heart.

    ¡°Sorry,¡± he grins. ¡°I thought you heard us, given Gunner and Noah didn¡¯t really get inside quietly.¡±

    I turn to said boys to find them munching on the cookies that I had baked yesterday.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay, I was just a little bit lost in thought.

    The grin sl*ps from his face. ¡°Are you still thinking about what happened yesterday with Emma?¡±

    I just nod my head. It was a lie, but he didn¡¯t need to know that I was thinking about a totally different thing.

    ¡°What are you making for breakfast, mom?¡± Noah asks

    ¡°A fry up¡± I respond.

    ¡°Yes!¡± Gunner pumps his fist up in the air. ¡°I love fry¨Cups; it¡¯s like having all your favorite breakfast food at once.¡±

    I smile at him. So happy that he is happy. I¡¯m hoping that one day Emma will see the error of her ways and mend her fences with Gunner before it¡¯s toote.

    ¡°Are you almost done?¡± Noah asks. ¡°I¡¯m so hungry.¡±

    ¡°Not yet. Just a few more minutes, and I¡¯ll be done. Why don¡¯t you go wait in the living room while I finish up?¡±

    ¡°Okay,¡± they say at the same time, before rushing to the other room.

    Cal takes the cleaning tools from me and proceeds to clean up the mess I¡¯d made. ¡°Sorry I brought

    them here for breakfast when we should have given you more time to yourself. It¡¯s just that they insisted that they wanted your breakfast.¡±

    Iugh at that. It¡¯s not that Calvin was a bad cook. He just didn¡¯t make it like I did. Their word, not mine.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay. I would have finished cooking and brought some over anyway, so it¡¯s not a big deal,¡± I tell him as I get back to frying the eggs.

    ¡°How are you holding up, all things considered?¡± I ask him

    ¡°Good.¡± He pauses. ¡°I feel relieved that now everyone knows about Gunner. He¡¯s an amazing kid, and he shouldn¡¯t be hidden away like a dirty secret. After my grandfather died, I had no one until

    Gunner was born. I didn¡¯t mind it being just the two of us, but I knew it was unfair to him given that his mother had a family. Gunner deserves to know his uncle and grandmother.¡±

    In my eyes, Travis and Kate weren¡¯t people worth knowing, but they¡¯d treated Noah well, so I guess it was safe for Gunner to be around them.

    Shit. I should really let go of my resentment towards them. They were no longer part of my life, so it didn¡¯t matter what they did to me before.

    ¡°You¡¯re right. Emma didn¡¯t have any right to keep him from her side of the family¡±

    He goes to add something, but the doorbell rings. As I hear Noah¡¯s steps running towards the foyer, I hope that it isn¡¯t Rowan at the door. I didn¡¯t want another brawl between him and Cal this early in the morning.

    I excuse myself and leave the kitchen.

    ¡°Who is it?¡± I ask my son.

    He shrugs his shoulders. ¡°There was no one outside. Just this note.¡±

    He hands me the note that had my name written on the front. I feel a chill run down my back when I look at it.

    ¡°Alright, you head inside. I¡¯ll be there in a second,¡± I tell him.

    He nods his head and gets back in the house. Still feeling out of sorts, like I was surrounded by an air bubble of danger, I unfold the note.

    YOU WILL PAY FOR EVERYTHING.

    What the hell? My heart starts pounding as I grip the note tightly. I scan the street, but I don¡¯t see anyone or anything suspicious.

    Folding the note, I tuck it into my pajama pocket. I enter my house and close the door behind me before heading to kitchen.

    ¡°What is it?¡± Cal inquires while looking concerned. ¡°You look spooked.¡±

    ¡°Nothing. There was just no one at the door.¡± I shrug and try to y it cool while my heart was beating hard against my chest.

    ¡°Maybe it¡¯s a kid ying a prank.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re probably right,¡± I mutter.

    I finish preparing breakfast, and we eat to our hearts desire. Gunner and Noah share funny stories from school, while Cal shares his from work. Even as I smile andugh, I can¡¯t help but think about the note.

    Romething tells me that there is something more to it. I trust my insts and it¡¯s telling me that Borneone is after me

    My life casce again seems to be in danger

 Chapter 106

    Emma.

    "I don''t know what to do, Molly," I tell her, almost in tears." They''re so mad at me right now."

    Mom and Travis have refused to pick up my calls or even talk to me. After the disaster at the get-together, I haven''t seen them or talked to them.

    Travis ignored me, and mom kicked me out of the house the moment the small function was over. It had been awkward as hell. Absolutely no one talked to me. It was like I didn''t exist. Was this how Ava felt in the past? It fucking stinks.

    "I kept telling you to tell them the truth, but you never listened." Molly''s voice brings me back to the present.

    She was right. Every time she mentioned that topic, I would shut it down before she even got a word out. The moment I learned of my pregnancy, she begged me to tell them, but I refused. She''s been trying for the past eight years. It never worked because I never listened to her. Sometimes I would even get mad. We would argue and then end up not talking for days.

    "I know," I whisper tiredly.

    I haven''t been able to sleep. I had so much going on in my head that it was difficult for me to find peace and sleep.

    "No, you don''t. I don''t think you understand the kind of pain you''ve caused not only your family but also Gunner and Calvin. A child is a blessing, yet you treated yours like he was an omen. You hid his existence like he was nothing. I still don''t understand why you did that or how you managed to do it in the first ce.

    It was easy, honestly. I didn''t want a child in the first ce. It was so easy to continue as if he didn''t exist and to forget about him because I never wanted him. People give up their babies every day, so I don''t know why everyone is all up in my ass because of Gunner.

    "I don''t need a lecture, Molly. I need a solution on how to make my family forgive me so we can forget about everything and move on," I ground out through clenched teeth.

    "Do you even fucking hear yourself? You don''t want a lecture, but that''s exactly what you''re getting," she fires back. "I''ve supported you in a lot of things, but you know Gunner and Cal are the only ones with whom I never agreed to what you were doing to them. You''re my friend and I''m going to call you out and say that you''re a nasty bitch for how you''ve been treating your own son."

    "You know very well I never wanted him, Molly. I was only ever supposed to carry Rowan''s child. No one else''s."

    Why couldn''t they just fucking understand? Is it a must that I love Gunner simply because I brought him into this world? It''s not his choice that he was born, and it''s not my fault that I feel the way I feel about him.

    "Well, guess what? Your precious Rowan has a child with someone else, and from the looks of things, he''s not nning on having any kind of rtionship with you, meaning your dream of having a family with him will remain nothing more than just a damn dream." she snaps.

    I dete immediately. Rowan wants nothing to do with me, more so now that he knows about Gunner.

    Ava has managed to make me look like the devil to her angel. She''s the caring and loving mother, while I''m the evil bitch who doesn''t want her own son. She has managed to ruin my perfect image. Why couldn''t she just keep her mouth shut?

    "I love you, Emma, with all my heart, but I am d that Ava exposed the truth. It''s time for you to grow up and take responsibility. Gunner needs his mother. You''ve tried running away from this for a long time. It''s time for you to stop and do what you''re supposed to do. It''s time you acknowledge that you''re a mother"

    The thought of that brings a certain kind of panic inside me. I didn''t want to think of that. I didn''t want to let go of my dream of being with Rowan. I stay quiet as I fight her words in my head.

    "Emma?" she calls.

    I know her; she wants me to agree. She wants me to tell her that I''ll think about it, but I don''t want to.

    I''m saved from answering her when a knock sounds on my door.

    "I have to go, Molly. There is someone at the door" I tell her in a hurry as I walk towards said door.

    "Don''t think I don''t know what you''re doing, Em. This..."

    I hang up the phone before she can finish her sentence.

    Opening the door, I''m surprised to find mom on the other side. She wasn''t smiling, but hope still bubbles inside me. She doesn''t wait for an invitation; she just walks in.

    "I''m going to make this short," she says, and all the hope that I had a moment ago shrinks and dies.

    I close the door and face her. Looking at her, I fight my tears when I notice the angry fire dancing behind her eyes.

    "I want to meet my grandson. I expect you to properly introduce him to me," she begins. "You''re also going to acknowledge him as your son and part of the Sharp family. You''re going to establish a bond with him, get to know him, and you''re going to include him in your life. Am I understood?"

    I stare at her wide-eyed. She couldn''t be serious, right? Was she really going to force me to get to know him?

    "You can''t be serious, Mom. I don''t want to know him!" I shout, appalled by the idea.

    I''ve regretted him since I learned I was pregnant, so how could I turn around and try and build a life with him?

    The flicker of fire I had seen in mom''s eyes turns into a zing inferno. She raises her hand, and I react too slowly. The smack on my face leaves me confused for a while. Still not able to understand what just happened.

    I ce a hand on my cheek and look at her in disbelief. She has never pped me before. Never.

    "You listen to me and listen well; I''m going to give you one chance to fix things with your son and the man you cruelly used and discarded, or I swear to you, Emma, I will disown you. Mark my words. You continue down the path you''re walking, and I''ll consider you dead to me." She pauses, before continuing.

    "I know my behavior towards your sister may have contributed to your reasoning. It was wrong of me to ignore her and treat her like she didn''t exist. I regret it every day and I won''t let you make the same mistake. Fix what you''ve broken"

    She doesn''t give me a chance to say anything before she walks past me, opens the door and leaves. I''m left standing staring at the spot she stood a few minutes ago.

    The ultimatum she gave me keeps ying in my head. Either get to know Gunner or lose my family. I know my mother and she doesn''t give out empty threats. I no longer had a choice.

    Why did Ava have to find out the truth?

    My heart hardens as I think of her, and fury fills me.

    Fuck. I hate that bitch. She should have just kept her fucking mouth shut.

 Chapter 107

    ?Chapter 107

    Rowan.

    It''s been two days since the truth came out, and I still can''t get over the kiss.

    When I dipped my head to kiss Ava, I expected her to push me away. Worse, to p me. I can''t deny that I was surprised when she let me kiss her. That surprise soon turned into happiness and joy.

    I can''t fucking believe that I went so long without her kisses. Her lips were soft, and her mouth is addictive. I could spend my entire life just kissing her, and I would be happy.

    Again, I say, I was fucking foolish. Every time I denied Ava a kiss when we were married, I thought I was punishing her. I didn''t realize what I was missing out on. For that, I will always be regretful because I missed out on so many things.

    I''m currently in my office, and I can''t focus for shit. I have business meetings in the next few days, yet the only thing that yed in my mind is that kiss.

    I feel like a fucking teenager all over again. Kissing her and then having her reciprocate was simr to the thrill of getting a first kiss from a girl. It left me excited. I felt like I was on top of the world.

    "What has you grinning like an idiot?" Gabe''s voice interrupts me.

    I look up just as he drops on the seat in front of my desk.

    "Nothing" I say, clearing my throat.

    "That''s definitely something. If I have to guess, then I think it''s something rted to Ava

    I don''t say anything, but we know that he is spot on.

    "So what happened?" he asks curiously.

    I debate whether to tell him. Finally I give in. He was my twin. What is the use of hiding it from him?

    "I kissed Ava and she fucking let me I tell him proudly.

    It felt so fucking good. Like I had achieved something miraculous. Those few minutes where she didn''t push me away gave me hope. Hope that maybe she still felt something for me.

    Gabe grins at me with happiness. "That good progress."

    "Yes." I say then groan. "Well it was going well until she reminded something I told her and push me away"

    You see, the thing about hurting someone is that when you try to make amends, you fight against the memories. You fight against the pain. You fight against the scars you inflicted.

    That''s what happened with Ava yesterday. The memory of my words came back. That, along with the pain that she must have felt when I flung those words at her.

    Those two reminded her that I was the enemy. I was the one that hurt and caused her pain. Those two served as a warning. They warned her that trusting me could lead to more pain. So she did what any sane person would do in that situation; she asked me to leave.

    "What did you tell her?"

    I didn''t want to repeat those words, but I did. I told Gabe everything, from how Emma lied and manipted me. To how I angrily went to Ava''s house and told her those cruel words.

    When I''m done, Gabe is staring at me with an unreadable expression.

    "You''re and idiot and an asshole" he says, not mincing words.

    I run my hands down my face. "Don''t I know it''

    "I''m not even going to bother with telling you how wrong you were. The fact that you''re beating yourself up is enough"

    I don''t even know how she used to stand me. I can''t stand myself every time I think about what I put Ava through. It makes me appreciate her more, knowing she tolerated me for all those years. Not a lot of women would have put up with my shit.

    "On the bright side, she was receptive. That''s got to mean something, right?" he asks after a while.

    I was about to agree when something hits me.

    "What if it''s just the hormones?" I ask in panic running my hand through my hair. "Due to the pregnancy hormones, most women go through an increase in libido. Maybe that is it. Fuck."

    All the hope I had shrivels up and dies. Hell. Will I ever get a chance to make things right? Is it even possible to win her back?

    "I doubt that''s the only thing. We both know Ava. If she didn''t want it, she wouldn''t have let you. Hormones be damned," he tries to encourage me, but I''m not really feeling it right now.

    My door opens, and Travis enters. He looks like hell. He crosses over and takes a seat next to Gabe.

    "You look like shit" Gabe informs him.

    Travis just sighs. "I know. I feel like it too."

    Things are a fucking mess after finding out that his precious sister has a child whom she has kept a secret for eight years.

    "How are things?" I ask.

    "Bad. I can''t stand being in the same room as Emma right now. Mom too. In fact, she gave Emma an ultimatum. Either she builds a rtionship with Gunner or she cuts her off from her life."

    Both Gabe and I stare at him in shock. Never have I ever imagined that Kate would threaten to disown Emma.

    Even when Ava and I messed up, she never disowned her. Sure, she and James gave her the cold shoulder, but they never cut her off.

    "Are you serious?" Gabe speaks.

    "As serious as a heart attack," he mutters before taking a deep breath. "Anyway, I don''t want to talk about that, let alone think about it. What were you talking about before I came in?" he asks, changing the subject.

    "Ava" Gabe answers.

    "What about Ava?"

    He has the tortured look he usually wears every time Ava is mentioned. I know he now feels even worse after how he talked to her that day.

    "I think that Rowan may have a chance of winning her." Gabe answers.

    Travis looks confused. It''s then that I realize he has no idea about my feelings towards Ava.

    "Why? Are you pursuing her?" He looks puzzled. Like he''s trying to piece things together.

    "Yes," I growl. "You have a problem with that?"

    "No," he sighs. "I''m guessing you have feelings for her, right? That''s okay. She deserves to be happy and we all know that you were her dream."

    "You''re not angry with him?" Gabe looks at me before looking at Travis.

    I wanted to hear his answer. Not that it mattered. Even if he were pissed, it wouldn''t have changed a thing. If getting Ava means losing his friendship, then so be it.

    "Why would I be angry?"

    "Well, because of Emma. You were the biggest supporter of their rtionship."

    "Yes, that''s before I realized that he may not love her anymore. When Emma came back, he acted differently. It was like the spark between them had died. It was pretty easy to see it, though he was fighting it. His actions just spoke louder than his words." He pauses, then continues.

    "It''s time we all let go of the past. All three of them-four if we count Calvin-have been suffering because of the love Rowan and Emma had when they were young. I see what neither of us saw back then. That young love

    wasn''t meant to be. Sooner orter. One way or another, it would have died. My advice for you, my friend, is to seize the present. I''ve learned that life is unpredictable and you never know what time you have left with your loved ones."

    I''m quiet as I listen to him. There was an air of foreboding that filled the room at his words. I feel the chill all the way down to my bones.

    "When did you get so wise?" I chuckle as I try to clear the heavy atmosphere.

    They both chuckle, but it''s forced. I know they can both feel it in the air.

    I don''t know what it is, but I had this premonition that something bad would fucking happen.

    Travis was right. I wasn''t going to waste time because you never fucking know.

    I''m going to go on this trip and the moment I get back, I''m going to tell Ava the truth. It was time I confessed my feelings for her.

 Chapter 108

    Another note

    Ava

    I haven¡¯t been able to get the freaking note out of my head. It¡¯s all I think about.

    I wanted to believe that it was nothing but a prank, but I¡¯m not so sure. Not when I get a bad

    feeling every time I read it.

    I¡¯ve thought about reporting, but I don¡¯t want to make a big deal out of it. It was just one note. What

    if Cal was right and it turned out that it was just a stupid prank?

    My phone rings, making me jump. I put the mop down and pick it up. When I see Rowan¡¯s name

    shing, I almost hang up, but I don¡¯t.

    ¡°Hello.¡± I force my voice to sound emotionless.

    ¡°Hey, how are you?¡± he asks, sounding a bit unsure.

    I swear, I¡¯ll never get used to this version of Rowan. It was just so unlike him. It¡¯s like he woke up

    one day and was a different person. If he has truly changed, then it¡¯s going to take some time to

    get used to him.

    ¡°Did you need anything?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. I just want to let you know that I¡¯ll be going on a business trip for a few days,¡± he informs

    me, which makes me a bit confused.

    ¡°Oh, okay, so you wanted me to let Noah know?¡±

    Noah was at school. He will be disappointed since he doesn¡¯t like Rowan going on trips, but he¡¯ll

    understand nheless.

    He pauses before answering. ¡°He already knows, but I wanted you to know too.¡±

    I¡¯m a bit stunned. Rowan never used to tell me when he went on business trips. He would leave in

    the morning and note back. It¡¯s as I set aside food for him that Noah would let me know that

    Rowan wasn¡¯ting back. He used to tell our son, but not me.

    It was disrespectful. He never cared about that, though. He knew that it hurt me every time he did

    it, and that¡¯s why he continued doing it.

    ¡°I really don¡¯t see how that¡¯s any of my business, Rowan I¡¯m not your wife or your keeper ¡°I try to

    keep the snappy tone away, but it¡¯s hard.

    Nowadays, he does something nice, and it just reminds me of the opposite action he took before.

    It¡¯s hard to forget or move past the memories that are burned in my brain.

    ¡°I know, but I thought it was a simple courtesy to let you know,¡± he says, slowly as if he were dealing with

    an unpredictable, rabid animal.

    Against my better judgment, I snorted. ¡°Courtesy? You surecked it when we were married, so I

    don¡¯t see the need of it now.¡±

    We stay quiet after that for a while before I speak up again.

    ¡°You know what, It doesn¡¯t matter because I don¡¯t want to fight with you.¡±

    He sighs. ¡°Neither do I,¡± he pauses. ¡°Look, my jet is ready, but when I get back, we need to talk.

    There is something I have to tell you; it¡¯s important.¡±

    I immediately get curious. ¡°Can¡¯t you tell me now?¡±

    ¡°No. It¡¯s something that I need to tell you face¨Cto¨Cface¡±

    One thing about me is that I hate waiting. When you tell me something like that, then you make

    me wait before you tell me what you want to say, it usually wreaks havoc inside me. I¡¯ll spend the

    entire duration overthinking anding up with scenarios that may not be true.

    ¡°Can¡¯t you just tell me? I hate waiting.

    ¡°I know, but this will have to wait.¡± He pauses, and I hear other voices on his end. ¡°I have to go.

    Take care; we¡¯ll talk when I get back.¡±

    Before I can say anything more, the line goes dead. I groan in frustration. Damn it. What the hell

    does he want to talk about?

    ¡°Ava,¡± the shout, brings me out of my musing.

    I sigh in defeat. Now I was going to be in a weird state until Rowan tells me what he wanted us to

    talk about.

    ¡°In the kitchen,¡± I shout back.

    I hear his footsteps before he walks into the kitchen. I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s just me, but Cal looks out

    ¡°What is it? You¡¯re yelling my name like it¡¯s the end of the world.¡°I tell him once I realize he still

    hasn¡¯t said a word.

    His eyes were wide as if he just discovered something huge. I stare at him. He has a sweat shirt and

    sweat pants. At first I¡¯m confused why he wasn¡¯t at work, but then I remember that today is

    day off.

    ¡°Cal?¡± I call

    He shakes his head. ¡°Oh sorry. I don¡¯t know if this is too soon, but I wanted to ask you something¡±

    First Rowan wanted to talk about something, and now Cal wants to ask me something. With how

    he was fidgeting, I just knew that I probably wouldn¡¯t like what he said.

    ¡°Okay, go ahead.¡±

    He¡¯s quiet for a while before he takes a deep breath.

    ¡°I want to ask you out on a date.¡± 5

    ¡°What?¡± I stammer, staring at him wide¨Ceyed.

    Did I hear him right? It can¡¯t be. There is just no way he would ask me that. We were just friends.

    ¡°Will you go out with me on a date?¡± He asks, this time with his a erer voice. ¡°I know it¡¯s

    probably too early, but I think this is for the best. We could help each other get over our past

    hurts. It would be easy since we understand each other.¡±

    I continue staring at him. My mind refuses to function. Surely he could see that his idea was

    absurd, and I¡¯m not thinking this to be mean or anything. He was basically suggesting that we

    should be each other¡¯s rebound. Rebounds never really end well.

    ¡°Say something, please, Ava,¡± he begs once he realizes that I haven¡¯t spoken a word.

    I look to the floor before looking at him as I try to find a suitable and reasonable answer that won¡¯t

    hurt him.

    ¡°You¡¯re a really great man, Calvin and any woman would be lucky to date you¡­¡± I begin.

    ¡°But?¡± he prompts.

    ¡°But I don¡¯t think this is a great idea.¡± I sigh. ¡°First of all, we¡¯ve bothe out of situations that

    16 BONUS

    isady to date The one and only time I did after my diveter From Rowan, I ended up pregnant by #

    man who was ying me while he tried to have me killed Lastly, although you¡¯re angry with

    Emma, I can tell that you still love her 1 fell in love with a man who loved Emma, and Rowan

    nearly dezuoyed me in the end I¡¯m not about to make that mistake again¡±

    He detes and stays quiet. I feel bad for bursting his bubble, but getting involved with him while he was

    still in love with Emma was bound to end in disaster. I need peace. What I don¡¯t need is

    falling for yet another man who is in love with Emma.

    ¡°You¡¯re right. I¡¯m sorry,¡± he says quietly before he turns and leaves through the backdoor.

    ¡°Calvin,¡± I call him, but he doesn¡¯t answer.

    I follow him only to find he has already crossed the threshold to his side of the yard. I sigh and get back

    in the house, just as my doorbell rings.

    I get out of the kitchen and move to the hallway, all the while feeling a sense of de ja vu.

    When I open the door, there is no one there. Just another not.

    I pick it up and open it. It was smeared in what I think is blood, but the words were clear.

    TIME IS TICKING AVA. HAVE YOU SAID GOODBYE TO YOUR LOVED ONES?

    I drop the note in horror and look at it, willing it to disappear. I was now sure that this wasn¡¯t a prank.

    Someone was targeting me again; the only question is who and why.

 Chapter 109

    Seeking help

    ¡°What¡¯s up, Ava?¡±

    We rarely talk. Most of the time, it¡¯s just a message here and there. All of them consist of him

    letting me know he has sent a package and me thanking him for it.

    I know it¡¯s dangerous, but he¡¯s the only one I can think of to help me right now. I won¡¯t lie. The

    second note has totally scared the crap out of me.

    ¡°I need your help, Reaper,¡± I simply state. There was no need for small talk. Plus, from what I¡¯ve

    learned about him, he doesn¡¯t like them.

    It took some time before I finally had the courage to call him. I¡¯ve been debating whether I should

    go to the police or him. Finally, reason won over. Thest time I was in danger, the police weren¡¯t

    able to help. Reaper knew what was happening the whole time.

    I reasoned that maybe he would be able to help me catch whoever was after me.

    ¡°Okay, what is it?¡± he asks curiously. Probably because I¡¯ve never asked him for anything.

    ¡°Someone seems to be after.¡±

    ¡°Oh, is it about the notes you¡¯ve been getting?¡±

    I am shocked, but not at the same time. See? This is why I thought he would be the best person to

    help me. He was a step ahead of me.

    ¡°Yes,¡± I answer. ¡°Do you know who¡¯s behind it, and how do you even know about them?¡±

    I crossed my fingers, hoping that he knew. It would be even better if he was in the process of

    taking care of the problem for me. After all, didn¡¯t he promise me his protection?

    ¡°I have my sources¡­ I don¡¯t know who¡¯s behind them, but my source tells me that the person who leaves

    them usually wears a mask and a long ck coat. From what he gathered, he thinks it¡¯s a

    woman.¡±

    I try to think about which woman would want to harm me, but Ie up short. This past few months, I¡¯ve

    offended a lot of people, with Emma being the most recent. It was just hard to tell who could hold such a

    big resentment that they would threaten me.

    ¡°Why didn¡¯t he stop whoever the person is?¡± I ask.

    I mean, it¡¯s reasonable. If you see a strange person leaving such notes, you stop them

    ¡°He didn¡¯t think much of it until the second note. That¡¯s when he started getting suspicious¡±

    I can¡¯t really me him. I didn¡¯t think too much into it until the second note, too

    ¡°What do the notes contain?¡±

    ¡°Give me a second. Let me send you a picture.¡±

    I snap a picture of them side by side and then send it to him. He¡¯s quiet while he¡¯s studying them.

    I can¡¯t help but think of how I could get into trouble if the police ever found out.

    Reaper was still in hiding, and the police were still on his case. I took a risk with him. A risk that could put

    me in prison for being his aplice and hiding his whereabouts.

    In my defense, I don¡¯t really know where he¡¯s hiding, and we rarelymunicate, but I don¡¯t think that

    would be enough to convince the jury of my innocence.

    ¡°Looks like whoever it is has a grudge and wants to hurt you,¡± he finally says.

    ¡°Gee thanks Sherlock¡± I tell him sarcastically. ¡°I¡¯ve already gathered that¡­you know, with the whole say

    goodbye to your loved ones thing¡±

    I didn¡¯t want to be snappy, but I was on edge. It¡¯s scary to know someone is nning my death. It¡¯s even

    scarier because I¡¯m pregnant. If I die, my baby dies, too. I can¡¯t have that.

    ¡°There¡¯s not much I can gather except that,¡± he sighs. ¡°Who have you offended in recent months? Who

    do you think could be angry enough to want revenge? Let¡¯s start there.¡±

    ¡°I honestly don¡¯t know, Reaper. You seem to know everything that goes on around me, so you know that

    I¡¯ve made a lot of people angry these past few months.¡±

    ¡°Okay then. Just send me a list of those you¡¯ve crossed, and I¡¯ll see what I can do. Okay?¡± he asks.

    I nod my head before realizing he can¡¯t see me. ¡°Okay¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Ava. We¡¯ll catch this bastard. There is no way I¡¯ll allow him o

    I don¡¯t get up from my spot on the couch There were a million things to do in the house, yet! didn¡¯t have

    any energy left in me. Plus, with all my thoughts and fears, I couldn¡¯t focus, even if I wanted to

    I don¡¯t know how long I was there before I heard keys juggle and then my front door open. I turn around

    when I hear footsteps. Mom and dad walk hand in hand.

    I smile at them. Those two were so in love that they were always joined at the hip most of the time. It was

    really cute.

    ¡°Hey,¡± I greet them as I sit up right.

    Mom takes a seat next to me while dad takes the one on the opposite.

    ¡°Hey too, baby,¡± dad says.

    ¡°Hi, my love,¡± mom greets back.

    I will never get used to the look of love in their eyes. It was everything for me. With them, I didn¡¯t have to

    wonder or guess. It was written all over their faces.

    ¡°What do I owe the pleasure of your visit¡­Not that I don¡¯t like having you guys here or anything

    like that.¡±

    They give each other a look before Mom turns to fully face me.

    ¡°Well, there are a few things we would like to discuss,¡± she says, and I nod my head.

    ¡°First of all, I just want to thank you, my darling.¡± She begins with teary eyes. ¡°Ethan called us yesterday.

    I know he has done awful things to you, but you don¡¯t know how good it felt talking to him. He told us that

    you¡¯re the one that pushed him to get in touch with us and after thinking

    about it, he realized he couldn¡¯t do without family and we are his family.¡±

    I smile at her. Ethan and I mainlymunicate through letters. Only once in a while does he call.

    I haven¡¯t gone to see him since that first time, but I know that will change once the baby is born.

    He or she deserves to know their father.

    ¡°It¡¯s nothing, mom.¡±

    ¡°No. It¡¯s something,¡± she insists. ¡°Thank you so much because I had missed my son.¡±

    I cringe at that. It¡¯s still weird hearing her call him that, given that I¡¯ve slept with the man. I will

    never get used to that.

    I hug her and peck her cheeks. ¡°Anything for you guys.¡±

    We hug for a while before we let each other go. Dad waits until Mom dries her tears

    ¡°What is the other thing you wanted to talk to me about?¡±

    He clears his throat. ¡°Right. We want to introduce you to society as our daughter and heir.¡±

    I knew this wasing somehow, but that doesn¡¯t stop my mouth from hanging open.

    ¡°Are you sure?¡± I stammer.

    I wasn¡¯t really sure myself, but I¡¯ve been postponing it for so long. They¡¯ve wanted to announce our

    rtionship for so long, but I¡¯ve been dragging my feet. I wasn¡¯t ashamed of being their daughter; I just

    didn¡¯t want the scrutiny that came with being their daughter.

    ¡°Yes. It¡¯s time, and I want the whole world to know that you¡¯re our child.¡± Mom says. ¡°It¡¯s a

    blessing that we were able to find you. I just want us to share that with the world.¡±

    I think about it for a while. What was the use of denying them? There were already rumors, given

    that Noah and I have been seen with them on numerous asions.

    ¡°Alright then,¡± I finally give them my answer.

    Mom squeals and literallyunches herself at me. ¡°Thank you so much. I¡¯ll start the preparation.

    Maybe we can go old school and hold a ball in your honor.¡±

    I just smile at her. We talk for a little while. It mostly consisted of her telling dad and me the ideas

    she has for the ball.

    I want to be happy and excited, but I can¡¯t. Not when I still don¡¯t know who the new threat is.

 Chapter 110

    His confession

    +15 BONUS

    I¡¯ve been obsessing for thest few days over the note. I just wanted to nail whoever this person is so

    that I could move on peacefully with my life.

    I hated that I was now jumpy and scared all the damn time. Noah has even noticed that I haven¡¯t been

    myself. Every time he asks, I just tell him that I am okay when I am clearly not.

    My life was so simple back when I was married to Rowan aspared to now. The only thing I worried

    about was whether or not he woulde for dinner or if he would ever love me. I know I used to be in

    constant pain, but I¡¯d pick that over dying any day.

    I haven¡¯t had a moment of peace since I divorced Rowan. An attempt on my life was made three times.

    My car was blown up, my house burned down, and I was kidnapped twice. After I agreed to Reaper

    being

    in my life, I thought that things would settle down, but no¡­ Now someone was after me. Again.

    ¡°Mom, can I go over at Gunner¡¯s?¡± Noah asks, scaring the crap out of me.

    I try to calm my heart down. See what I mean when I say I¡¯m jumpy?

    He looks at me funny, but I ignore it and force my lips into a semnce of a smile.

    ¡°Sure, use the back door, though, okay?¡±

    He nods his head, and I stand up. I wanted to make sure that he crossed over to Calvin¡¯s side safely and

    that he got inside his house.

    ¡°Today we are going to y games. Last time I won, this time Gunner hopes that he wins,¡± he tells me as

    we walk.

    ¡°That¡¯s good¡±

    I haven¡¯t seen Calvin since that day in my kitchen. He has been avoiding me as much as he can. I¡¯m not

    sure if it¡¯s because he¡¯s embarrassed or because he was hurt by my rejection. Maybe it is both.

    Anyway, I¡¯ve been giving him space because I didn¡¯t want things to be even more awkward than they

    already were.

    ¡°See youter, mom,¡± Noah says as he crosses over to Cal¡¯s.

    After I¡¯ve made sure he is in their house, I turn back and head into ours.

    I get inside, and not even a minuteter, there is a knock on my door. I approach it with trepidation. I was

    hoping it wasn¡¯t another note.

    I open the door and find Rowan Fuck I¡¯d forgotten that we were supposed to talk. With everything that

    has happened, the talk was the least of my worries.

    ¡°Hey,¡± he asks, shoving his hands inside his pocket.

    He looked really nervous. Again, this was something I wasn¡¯t used to when it came to him.

    ¡°Come in,¡± I tell him while scanning the area.

    Thest thing I needed was a note arriving while he was here with me.

    He gives me a look.

    ¡°What?¡± I ask.

    ¡°I thought you would put up a fight.¡±

    ¡°Do you want toe in or not?¡± I ask in irritation.

    He gives me onest look before he enters my house. Without waiting too long, I close the door afraid

    that someone is watching me.

    I¡¯ve be so paranoid over the past few days that sometimes it terrifies me. The sooner we deal with

    this issue the better for my mental state.

    I take a seat in my recliner. I bought it a few weeks ago because it helped relieve my back pain. I even

    had

    to change my mattress because it made my back pain worse.

    ¡°So, what did you want to talk to me about?¡± I stare into his eyes. ¡°It sounded pretty important. Is it about

    Noah?¡±

    He takes a deep breath before releasing. ¡°No. It¡¯s about us.¡±

    I stare at him, confused, wondering if he had truly lost his mind. What the hell was he even talking about,

    for goodness sake?

    ¡°There is no us, Rowan. You seem to be forgetting that a lottely.¡±

    I didn¡¯t want to do this with him. Not when I had so much going on.

    ¡°Just listen to me, please,¡± he pleads, his voice soft.

    Something about the desperation in his voice stops me. I don¡¯t know what it is, but I don¡¯t want to put too

    much thought into it. Instead, I shut my mouth and focus on him.

    He doesn¡¯t talk for a while, as if he were struggling to find the right words. The more he takes his time,

    the

    I love you, he finally says.

    My mouth drops open, and I gape at him like a fish out of water. He wasn¡¯t seated that far from me, so I

    reach out and feel his forehead for a fever.

    Are you high? Running a fever? Or maybe I just didn¡¯t hear you, right¡±

    He res at me, but within seconds, his features soften. He grabs my hand, turns it, and kisses my palm

    in a really gentle kiss.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know when I fell in love with you or how, all I know is that I love you, Ava. I didn¡¯t see it back then.

    I was so ovee with bitterness and anger that I didn¡¯t realize what a true gem I had married. In the

    last few months, it¡¯s been hard to be without you. Seeing you in pain or hurt destroys me every time. It

    has taken me time to realize that I¡¯m in love with you, but here I am, begging you to give me a chance to

    show you the love you deserved from me but never got o

    I watchpletely stunned, as he gets out of the chair and kneels before me. This all seems like a

    dream. It¡¯s like I am in apletely different world right now.

    ¡°Oh, Rowan,¡± I start, trying to make my brain function. ¡°You don¡¯t love me. You¡¯ve never loved me. Emma

    is your one and only love. She¡¯s the one that has your heart, remember?¡±

    Pain and regret sh in his eyes. I feel bad for him, but I know that maybe he¡¯s just confused about

    things.

    It just doesn¡¯t make sense. How can he be in love with me when he hates me so much?

    ¡°You¡¯re not listening to me Ava¡± he says as the pain changes to frustration.

    ¡°I am; you¡¯re the one that¡¯s confused, Rowan. How can you be in love with me now? You¡¯ve hated me up

    until a few months ago. You have proven over and over again how little you care for me. You have hurt

    me more times than I can count, all in the name of punishing me for ruining your rtionship with Emma.

    You held on to her for years, and now all of a sudden, you want me to believe that you love me?¡±

    The familiar pain creeps back up, but I force it down. I have no time or energy to feel the constant

    heartache.

    know, and you¡¯ll never know how much I regret hurting you, but if you could only give me a chance, I

    promise I¡¯ll never hurt you again and that I¡¯ll heal the wounds I caused.¡± He whispers brokenly, his eyes

    staring at me.

    ¡°You have to realize that just because you say you love me doesn¡¯t make it true, Rowan. You had nine

    years with me, but not once did you give me a chance. I loved you with everything I was, yet you broke

    me with everything you had. How do you expect me to ovee that? Why would I give you a chance

    when

    you never gave me one?¡±

    I shift my eyes away from his. I didn¡¯t want to see his pain. I didn¡¯t want to see the regret and guilt. It was

    too much.

    ¡°Please¡±

    ¡°Why now, Rowan? Answer me that. If you¡¯re being truthful, what has made you love me now and not

    years ago?¡± I ask him.

    He stares at me for a while before looking at the floor. He couldn¡¯t answer me because he had no answer

    that would make sense.

    I sigh. ¡°You have to see just how unbelievable all this sounds. I¡¯m sorry, but no. You can¡¯t expect me to

    believe you love me when, for nine years, all you saw was Emma. You lived and breathed her; it¡¯s hard

    to

    believe that in a few months that has changed.¡± 4

    I watch as his shoulders slump. If it wasn¡¯t for the fact that my ankles were killing me, I would be pacing

    all over the floor.

    It only takes a minute for the heartbroken look in his eyes to turn into determination. He leans forwards

    and cups my cheek.

    ¡°I know this is a lot to take in, and I understand why you don¡¯t believe me, but I am not giving up.

    to

    you that I love you, Ava, even if it takes me a fucking lifetime to do it. I won¡¯t stop until you¡¯re convinced

    that what I feel for you is true.¡± His voice takes on a deep tone as he vows to me.

    ????

    prove

    He bends soon after and gives me a quick kiss before he stands up and leaves. I stay rooted in my chair,

    still unable to understand all that just happened.

    He said he loved me, could it be true? And should I believe him or am I setting myself up for more

    disappointment and heartache?

    Whether I believe him or not, something told me that my choice would soon be taken away from me

    concerning that matter.

 Chapter 111

    Cold darkness

    THREE STRIKES AND YOU¡¯RE OUT, AVA.

    I read and re¨Cread the note. My heart was beating so hard that I thought it would punch a hole through

    my chest. I was scared shitless and I didn¡¯t know what to do. This was the third note I was getting.

    I had juste from dropping Noah off at school when I found it in front of my door. When I first saw the

    box wrapped in a red bow, I thought that it was a gift. That is until I opened it and found a dead rat and

    the note next to it.

    I was now panicking because the threats seemed to be getting worse.

    I dump the box and the rat in the trash bin before I take my phone and call Reaper. I prayed that he

    would have answers for me. That by some miracle he had found out who was behind all this.

    He answered after the second ring and I breathed a sigh of relief.

    ¡°Ava¡± he answered roughly. He sounded like he had been smoking.

    ¡°Please tell me that you have something for me¡± I plead desperately.

    I know it is rude not even greet him, but I am scared. I am constantly worried and looking over my

    shoulder. I¡¯ve be so paranoid that anyone I identally bump into in the street or store,

    immediately bes a suspect.

    I haven¡¯t told my family or friends because I don¡¯t want to worry them. If this continues though, I¡¯ll have to

    tell them and also report it to the police. The more people who are looking into this, the better the

    chances of finding this bastard.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Ava, but I have nothing. No one seems to know anything and all the leads we had turned out

    to

    be dead ends¡± he says remorsefully.

    I want to scream and shout. I want to curse the whole damn world, but what would be the use of it? I

    need this person found, because I couldn¡¯t shake this gut feeling that everything is about to go horribly

    wrong.

    ¡°How can there be nothing? I just got another note and it was attached to a dead rat. I¡¯m afraid, Reaper.

    So fucking afraid¡±

    I try holding back the tears, but they fall anyway. They stream down my face like waterfall, soaking the

    top of my dress in the process.

    I¡¯m sorry, Ava, but I am doing all that I can¡±

    I don¡¯t know what about his words triggered me, but they just did. I feel anger and frustration bubble up

    and burst throughout my entire body.

    Then try harder!¡± I scream, my voice echoing through the walls.

    ¡°Ava¡± he calls through clenched and I freeze before sagging in defeat.

    I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m so sorry, Reaper. I¡¯m just frustrated and I took it out on you¡± I apologize when I realize how

    rude and bratty I sounded.

    He sighs, ¡°I know and I get you, but you don¡¯t have to worry about a thing. I won¡¯t let anything bad

    happen

    to you, okay?¡±

    I don¡¯t answer him. How can I when everything inside me tells me that nothing is going to be okay? That

    something really bad will happen.

    ¡°Let me call a few of my contacts then I¡¯ll let you know what I find¡± he adds when I don¡¯t say anything

    more.

    ¡°Okay¡±

    Without waiting for another word, I hang up.

    I sit there on the kitchen stool as I stare at the dustbin. Thought after thought invade my head. I couldn¡¯t

    find peace or a moment of respite. I was tired and worn out. I haven¡¯t been able to sleep this past few

    weeks. I¡¯m suffering from a case of insomnia.

    When I do sleep, my dreams are filled with nothing but nightmares. All of them consist of me and my

    baby dying.

    Between thoughts of this new threat and Rowan¡¯s confession a couple of days, I haven¡¯t gotten a time

    where my mind is still. If I¡¯m not thinking about the notes, then I¡¯m thinking about Rowan¡¯s unexpected

    confession of love.

    Feeling jittery, I stand up and begin pacing. I needed a distraction or else I was going to go absolutely

    insane.

    After a few minutes of pacing I grab my phone and call Letty. It rings, but she doesn¡¯t pick up. I try again,

    the same thing happens. Maybe/she was in a meeting or something.

    I then dial Corrine¡¯s number. She picks after the third ring.

    ¡°Hey, love. How are you?¡± she asks, though she sounded a bit distracted.

    I¡¯m good. I was wondering if you would like to go shopping with me?¡±

    was desperate. I had enough things for me and my kids, but if it was the only way to distract my mind,

    then so be it.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, hun, but I have so much work, I don¡¯t think today will be possible. How about Thursday? I¡¯l

    make time for you¡±

    I am disappointed, but I get her. She has a business to run after all.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay. I totally understand¡±

    ¡°Thanks. I¡¯ll see you on Thursday, okay?

    ¡°Sure¡±

    Once we hang up, I stare at my kitchen, I couldn¡¯t stay here until Noah came back from school. I had

    nothing to do and thest thing I want is to be left alone with my thoughts. That was probably going to

    end in disaster.

    Taking my car keys and the purse I usually store my cards and money, I leave the house. I was going to

    go

    to my favorite ice cream shop. Ice cream cures everything.

    I get there quickly. Time really flies when you head is preupied.

    I park across the street and walk to the shop. When I get there I order a big bowl of ice cream. If I

    couldn¡¯t stop thinking so much, then I was going to give myself a brain freeze. Maybe that will help with

    stilling my

    running thoughts.

    I take my time as I eat my blueberry swirl and vani ice cream. It made me feel better for a while. As I

    focused on enjoying the vor, I didn¡¯t think that much. Plus the shop also had free books, so you can

    enjoy your ice cream as you read.

    By the time I was done, I felt so much bette.

    I¡¯d been there for like two hours and I thought it was time for me to go home. Since I was more rxed,

    maybe I could get some shut eye before Noahe back from school.

    When I go to pay, I get this strange feeling. Like warning bells were ringing in my head and soul.

    Something inside me told me to stay inside. For some reason my heart felt heavy. Like I had this dark

    cloud that had suddenly attached itself to me.

    Against my better judgement, I pay and leave.

    I should have listened to my instincts. I should have stayed in the fucking shop.

    I was about to cross the road to the parking lot when I heard a screech of tires, followed by shots.

    Thest thing I remember is people¡¯s horrified screams and this intense pain right before cold darkness

    embraced me.

 Chapter 112

    Anxious heart

    Rowan

    ¡°Sir? Is there anything you need me to get for you from the restaurant?¡± My secretary asks, but I

    continue

    staring outside my office window.

    The view was really great. It was one of the reasons why I chose it, but today it didn¡¯t offer me the

    tranquility it usually does.

    ¡°No. Not today,¡± I answer without looking at her.

    ¡°Okay then, I¡¯ll be back in thirty minutes¡±

    I don¡¯t answer her and after a few seconds I hear the door closing. I sigh in frustration. For some reason

    the feeling of foreboding clung to me. It surrounded me in waves. Today more so than the previous days.

    I don¡¯t know what it is, but my heart is anxious. I can¡¯t settle nor can I fucking focus. It¡¯s like my soul is

    trying to tell me something, but I can¡¯t figure out what.

    Trying to distract myself, I think about Ava and our talk. I get her. Damn do I get her hesitation. I¡¯ve spent

    more than ten years drilling into her that Emma was the only woman I¡¯ll ever love.

    I did everything in my power to show her just how little I cared for her. I¡¯ve spent nine years punishing her

    for something that was beyond her control. I drilled into her head that I hated her with every fiber of my

    being.

    How then could I turn around and im to love her?

    It¡¯s frustrating as hell, but I understand her. I understand her reluctance to believe me. If the roles had

    been switched I wouldn¡¯t have believed it so easily.

    Apart from all that, I also have to consider the pain I¡¯ve caused her. Nine years of pain and mistreatment

    isn¡¯t something you get over within a day or week. Hell. It will probably take years to heal the wounds i

    inflicted. 2

    The scars will remain with her though and considering the damage I caused, I can¡¯t help but wonder if

    she¡¯ll ever forgive me.

    I want her. I want her in my life. I want to build a life with her. I crave that more than anything, but if she

    doesn¡¯t take me back, then let it be so. I¡¯ll have no one to me but myself. It will be my penance for the

    hurt I¡¯ve caused over the years.

    I try to focus on her. To focus on her beautiful face and tactics I could use to get her to take me back, but

    I¡¯ve never felt this way before. Never had this unshakable feeling like something bad was going to

    happen. I try to assure myself, but it doesn¡¯t work. I stand up and start pacing again. I felt wired. Like I

    was going

    crazy.

    I run my hand through my hair, probably messing it up, but I don¡¯t fucking care. Not when I feel like my

    fucking heart was being squeezed by a tight fist.

    I turn on the TV. Maybe hearing other people¡¯s voices will help me calm down. It was better than listening

    to my own since it was distorted, jumbled and confused the hell out of me.

    I don¡¯t know for how long I stood pacing through the room when my door opened. I turn to find Gabe. He

    looked like hell froze over. He was breathing heavily, his eyes looked bloodshot and there was worry and

    anguish in them.

    I still in my tracks. Fuck. My brother is usually impable and not easily fazed. We share that trait as

    twins. If he looks anything other than that then something serious must be wrong.

    ¡°What is it?¡± I ask as my heart rate picks up.

    Fuck was it our parent¡¯s? Maybe Noah?

    ¡°Ro¡­¡± he starts but doesn¡¯t finish his sentence. His voice was mixed with pain.

    ¡°Fuck, Gabe. Tell me what¡¯s wrong. Is it mom or dad?¡±

    I see him swallow, before his eyes focus on me.

    ¡°It¡¯s Ava¡± he finally says.

    I¡¯m about to ask him what¡¯s wrong with Ava when an unrecognizable voice mentions her name. I begin to

    turn in the direction of the TV.

    ¡°Please, Rowan¡­don¡¯t watch it, focus on me¡± My brother begs me, but I don¡¯t pay attention to him.

    I needed to know what the hell the reporters have to say about Ava.

    BREAKING NEWS.

    The headlines written in big, bold letters.

    ¡°News just in, Member of the Sharp family and founder of The Hope Foundation was today gunned down

    by unknown people. We are yet to know the state she¡¯s in, but the gunman opened fire to what seems to

    be a hit targeted at her. The video you¡¯re about to watch maybe disturbing to some¡±

    I feel my knees weaken, but nothing could have prepared me to watching the woman I love being shot

    multiple times

    The video showed Ava as she was walking out of an ice cream shop. Her eyes were downcast and she

    had a small frown on her face. Whoever took the video captured a ck SUV with tinted windows speed

    in her direction. Just before the drove past her, a masked person, rolled the window down just enough to

    fit the gun, before shooting several times. They sped past her, leaving Ava to crumble on the ground in a

    pool of blood

    The video ends, and the presenteres back on.

    ¡°We are yet to establish why these gangsters would shoot a pregnant woman, but stay tuned as we try to

    find out.¡±

    She proceeds to talk about the damage to the shop and how two other people were injured, but that

    doesn¡¯t concern me. My focus was Ava. I couldn¡¯t erase the image of her body lying motionless in a pool

    of her own blood from my mind

    ¡°Rowan?¡± I hear his voice but it doesn¡¯t registers.

    Nothing fucking registers in my head. I felt so fucking broken I felt lost. My heart was fractured to tiny

    pieces. How am I supposed to survive if something happens to her?

    ¡°Ro¡­¡±

    His hand on my shoulder makes me jump into action.

    ¡°I need to go to her¡­I need to see her¡± I struggle to say against the waves of emotions that were

    choking

    me.

    I don¡¯t wait to hear what he says, before I am out of my office door. I rush down the corridor towards my

    private elevator. My employees stare at me in confusion. I probably looked like a deranged person, but I

    don¡¯t give a damn.

    Jumping to the elevator, I key it in for the underground parking. My need to see her intensified with every

    bit of my heart.

    I got underground and immediately rushed to the reserved parking space. My car was there and so was

    Gabe¡¯s.

    I struggled to unlock the doors. My hands were shaking and I couldn¡¯t stop the tremble no matter what.

    The keys fell out of my grip, frustrating me even further.

    Fuck¡± I yell, kicking the tire in anger, fear and frustration.

    Bending down, I pick the keys and manage to unlock the doors. I had my hand on the handle, about to

    open it when a hand stopped me.

    I turn around pissed off, about tosh out when his voice stops.

    ¡°I¡¯m not about to let you fucking drive while you¡¯re in this state¡± he says before pushing forward his hand.

    ¡± Give me the keys, I¡¯ll take you to the hospital.¡±

    I dete and hand him the keys. He was right. I wasn¡¯t in the right mental state to drive anywhere. The

    last thing Noah needed is to have both parents in the hospital.

    I get in and Gabe starts the car, all the while praying that Ava was okay because I don¡¯t how I¡¯ll survive if

    I

    were to lose her.

 Chapter 113

    Code red

    Fuck. What did this have to happen to her? Why would someone do this to her? Were there signs that i

    ignored? Was she in danger, and I didn¡¯t notice?

    The questions keep bombarding my head as Gabe drives out of the underground parking. I would never

    forgive myself if she was in danger and I didn¡¯t notice it, or even do something about.

    ¡°Is she alive?¡± I ask as the fear of his answer chocks me.

    She had to be alive. She just had to.

    Gabe gives me a side way nce. ¡°I don¡¯t know much, but I know she¡¯s alive¡±

    ¡®Barely¡®

    The words aren¡¯t said, but they are implied.

    I saw the video. Whoever was after her wanted to make sure that Ava died. That she didn¡¯t have a

    chance

    of surviving. I don¡¯t know the extent of her wounds, but I know at least two bullets hit her.

    ¡°Do you know which hospital she¡¯s at?¡± I ask, my voice sounding gruff even to my own ears.

    I had been so focused on getting to her, that I didn¡¯t even bother asking which hospital she was taken to.

    I

    just wanted to be there for her.

    ¡°Yeah, don¡¯t worry. I called around and got the info. I was told they¡¯re taking her to Avenue Hospital¡± he

    answers.

    At least they had the mind to take her to the best hospital in the city.

    I try to calm my heart. Try to breathe through the panic that threatened to drown me. It¡¯s hard though. So

    fucking hard. I won¡¯t get a moment of peace until I know that she¡¯s okay.

    ¡°She¡¯s going to be okay, Ro¡± Gabe tells me after a minute or so of silence.

    I want to be confident about that, but I am not. She might survive, but what about the baby? Not only was

    she shot, but when she fell to the ground that impact couldn¡¯t have been good for the baby.

    If she survived, but the baby died in the process, she would be devastated. I know Ava. The loss would

    destroy her. It would probably be her undoing.

    ¡°Can you please hurry up?¡± 1 demand.

    It felt like we were moving at a snail pace. Like time was crawling. Why the fuck is it always like that?

    slow motion.

    ¡°I¡¯m going as fast as I can, Ro¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not fast enough. I need to be with her¡± I tell him desperately.

    Why can¡¯t he understand that I have to be there? That I need to be there? What if she woke up and she

    was all alone with no one by her side? She needs me by her side.

    I should have trusted my instincts when I first got that sense of dread. I should have listened. I should

    have dug deeper and made sure that all my loved ones were protected. I failed to listen to fucking

    intuition, and now Ava has paid the price.

    ¡°Do you have any idea who could be behind this?¡± Gabe asks.

    I know what he¡¯s trying to do. He¡¯s trying to distract me so I wouldn¡¯t focus so much on all the negative

    stuff.

    ¡°Reaper¡± I growl his name in anger. ¡°He¡¯s the only one with motive.¡±

    If it¡¯s him, then he has won. He has managed to destroy me and get his revenge. Nothing he can do

    could

    hurt as much as this.

    ¡°What about Noah. You have to tell him¡± Gabe adds.

    Fuck. I hadpletely forgotten about him. He was going to be so heartbroken. He loves his mom so

    much and this is going to hurt him.

    ¡°What am I going to tell him? How am I supposed to face him and tell him that his mother was fucking

    shot? That I wasn¡¯t able to protect her¡±

    I feel the avnche of emotions try to suffocate me. I can¡¯t fall apart now. Noah needed me and so does

    Ava. My emotions will just have to fucking wait until I can deal with them.

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t your fault, Rowan. You couldn¡¯t have predicted any of this¡±

    I wanted it to be true, but the guilt was too powerful. I should have just listened to my intuition.

    I stay quiet because there is nothing to say. A few minutester, we arrive at the hospital. I don¡¯t wait for

    Gabe to park the car. I just jump out while it¡¯s still moving and rush inside.

    ¡°Ava Sharp¡± I almost shout when I get to the nurse¡¯s station.

    One of the nods and motions for me. ¡°Come this way, she was brought in about ten minutes ago. She¡¯s

    currently in the emergency room¡±

    ¡°How is she? How is the baby?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry Mr. Woods, but I don¡¯t know. The doctors are with her and I was given directions to guide her

    family to the waiting room when they arrive¡±

    I want to scream and yell at her, but I know that won¡¯t do a thing. It won¡¯t help in anyway.

    She leads me to the waiting room, and then proceeds to leave a few secondter. I¡¯m left with my racing

    thoughts and a dam full of worry. Just when I thought I couldn¡¯t take it anymore, I feel small arms wrap

    around me.

    I turn to face the intruder only to find my mom staring back at me.

    ¡°Mom¡± I whisper. I feel my eyes tear up, but I refuse to let the tears fall.

    I¡¯ve never felt so helpless. So weak.

    ¡°She¡¯s going to be fine. You just have to have faith¡±

    I nod my head unable to force any word out of my mouth.

    ¡°Have you heard anything from the doctors?¡± it¡¯s only when I hear Letty¡¯s voice, that I realize that

    everyone was here.

    Travis, Kate, my dad, Gabe, Corrine and even Emma. The only ones that were missing were Nora and

    Theo.

    ¡°No¡± I answer. ¡°Have you informed her parents?¡±

    ¡°Yes. They traveled yesterday on a business trip, but they are on their way back. It will probably take

    them

    at least four hours before they are back¡±

    I turn to face my brother as something hits me. I couldn¡¯t let Noah hear it from teachers. If someone was

    going to tell him, then it will have to be me.

    ¡°Gabe, get one of our contacts to take the video down¡±

    ¡°On it¡± he says, before taking out his phone and stepping a few feet away.

    ¡°I need someone to get Noah¡± I murmur, my eyes focused on the emergency door.

    Corrine answers. ¡°I¡¯ve already talked to Calvin. He¡¯ll pick him up and bring him here as soon as possible¡±

    I see Emma going still at the mention of Calvin¡¯s name, but I honestly don¡¯t care. Her issues with him

    weren¡¯t important right now.

    The door to ER burst open and a doctores out. We all stand and face him.

    ¡°Are you all Ava¡¯s family?¡±

    ¡°Yes¡± I answer. ¡°How is she?¡±

    ¡°Her wounds are extensive, but our main concern is the baby and the bullet that is lodged in her skull¡± he

    answers truthfully.

    I hear the women¡¯s gasps, but I don¡¯t pay them any attention. My focus is on what the doctor is saying.

    ¡°Since Ava is unconscious, we need permission to perform a C¨Csection¡±

    ¡°But she¡¯s only six months along¡± Corrine cries.

    ¡°Yes. I failed to mention that one of the bullet hit her stomach causing the amniotic sac to rapture. If we

    don¡¯t do something, we might lose the baby¡±

    My breathing besbored and it literally bes hard to breathe. Fuck. This is worse than I

    imagined. Worry for both mother and baby consumes me.

    ¡°Go ahead¡± I murmur. If it was the only way to save the baby, then so be it.

    The moment those words are out of my mouth, an rm starts ring and the lights on top of the

    emergency turns red. I knew what that meant. It was a code fucking red.

    A nurse rushes outside and whispers something in the doctor¡¯s ears. I see the panic in both their

    right before the doctor turns to face us.

    eyes

    ¡°Ava just went into cardiac arrest. The rest of the doctors are doing everything they can but we need to

    be prepared. In these cases we may need to make a decision and that¡¯s where youe in¡± he says

    and

    the nurse picks up from where he left.

    ¡°Given Ava¡¯s injury both may not survive, so we can only save one of them. Who will you have us save?

    The mother or the baby?¡±

    The blow of her words hit me square in the chest. How can they ask me to choose? I can¡¯t lose Ava, but

    choosing her over her baby is a sure way to make her hate me for life.

 Chapter 114

    The wait

    I stare at the doctor as if I¡¯m a damn idiot who can¡¯tprehend what he just said. In my defense, his

    words didn¡¯t register wholly with me. He was asking me to choose between Ava and her baby. Does he

    know how difficult that is?

    ¡°Mr. Woods, time is of the essence. We need to know your decision,¡± he all but begs.

    I open my mouth, but no wordse out. I try again, and the same thing fucking happens.

    ¡°Mr. Woods?¡± the nurse calls, concern in her voice.

    ¡°The baby,¡± Letty¡¯s soft voice suddenly says, breaking the silence. ¡°Save the baby, if ites down to it.¡±

    The doctor and nurse nod their heads before rushing back to the ER. I turn to face Letty with mixed

    feelings waging war inside me.

    My look must havemunicated something because she hardens her eyes in defiance before

    speaking.

    ¡°Don¡¯t look at me like that, Rowan. This is what Ava would have wanted,¡± she says through gritted teeth.

    Corrinees to the defense of her friend.

    ¡°She¡¯s right. Ava would have picked her baby over herself any day, any time. If we picked her over the

    child, she would have hated us.

    I dete after she voices what I was thinking just a few minutes ago. I know she¡¯s right, but that doesn¡¯t

    take away the heaviness I feel in my heart.

    I would never wish her baby harm. All I pray right now is that it doesn¡¯te down to that. I hope that

    both of them make it. Ava deserves to know happiness, and her baby deserves to live.

    I resume my seat and wait. It killed me to wait, but what choice do I have? I¡¯m not a doctor, so I can¡¯t

    really help her. All I can do is continue praying.

    I don¡¯t remember thest time I prayed. Probably when I was still a kid in Sunday school. Right now, I¡¯m

    willing to pray to anyone who¡¯ll listen and answer my request. If it was possible to trade ces with her,

    then I would have dly done so, even if it meant that I wouldn¡¯t have survived.

    As long as she got to live her life, then I would do it. I would sacrifice everything I have right now just to

    see her scowling or ring at me. I would give up the world to reverse what happened to her if I could.

    ¡°It¡¯s my fault.¡±

    I turn towards the voice to find Letty silently crying.

    ¡°She¡¯d tried calling me, but I was unreachable. When I got her missed call, I told myself I¡¯d call her after i

    got out of work. I should have just called her back immediately. ¡±

    Travis pulls her into his arms as she continues to cry.

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t your fault, Letty. You couldn¡¯t have predicted this¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s right Letty, if anyone is to me, then it should be me. I picked up her call. She wanted us to go

    shopping, but I was busy, so I asked her if we could postpone. If only I¡¯d gone with her. Maybe I could

    have done something to prevent her from getting hurt.¡± She had her arms wrapped around herself as if

    she were cold. Just like Letty, she was crying.

    Looking at them, I see the love for their friend shining through their eyes. They haven¡¯t known each other

    for long, but their bond is unmistakable.

    ¡°None of you could have predicted something like this happening, so don¡¯t me yourself. The only one

    responsible is the bastard that hurt,¡± Kate tells them in a trembling voice.

    ¡°ying the me game right now won¡¯t help. We need to focus on Ava and the baby. We should send

    our best prayers for them,¡± my mom adds.

    I don¡¯t say anything. I just focus on the emergency room, waiting for someone toe through the door.

    Fuck. This was killing me. The waiting. The worrying. The uncertainty. I just need someone to fucking tell

    me that she is going to be okay. That she and the baby were out of danger. That they will be okay.

    Everything in me screamed and begged for a silver lining. For a kind of miracle. My heart and soul

    begged

    for the angel of death to stay away. Their souls weren¡¯t his to im. Not now. It wasn¡¯t their time yet; how

    can it be when they¡¯ve both barely begun to live?

    ¡°Remember when we went to the mall and she didn¡¯t see the ss wall in front of her?¡± Letty says with a

    smile.

    Corrine chuckles. ¡°Yeah. She hit it right in the face before she fell on her ass.¡±

    ¡°She was so embarrassed, but she couldn¡¯t stopughing about it because it was so funny.¡±

    Theyughed, and some of the others chuckled. There was just something about it that rubbed me

    wrong. I gritted my teeth and forced myself to remain quiet.

    ¡°Or the time the hot waiter caught her talking about how cute he is. We tried signaling to her that he was

    right behind her, but she didn¡¯t get it, not until the man cleared his voice,¡± Corrine says with a fond smile

    on her face.

    ¡°She was mortified. She begged us to leave because she couldn¡¯t face him after that.¡± Letty adds. ¡°He

    to that ce again,¡±

    There was a moment of silence. Everyone was probably lost in memoryne. For the others, there

    probably weren¡¯t any good memories. After all, they¡¯d treated Ava like shit, but Letty and Corrine had lots

    of them.

    We have so many memories to share with Noah and her newborn. So much to tell them about how

    amazing their mom is¡±

    When those words leave Letty¡¯s mouth, I blow up.

    ¡°Can you just stop!¡± I growl as I feel anger bubble up inside me. She had no right to talk about Ava like

    that.

    ¡°What? Stop what?¡± she stutters.

    ¡°Stop talking about her like she¡¯s fucking gone!¡± I shout. ¡°She isn¡¯t. She¡¯s still alive, and she¡¯s going to

    pull

    through.¡±

    They were talking about Ava as if she were already dead. That¡¯s what pissed me off. You only talk about

    someone in the past tense if you believe that she¡¯s not making it out of the hospital. 1

    ¡°Tha¨Cthat¡¯s not what¡­¡±

    Her response is cut short when the doors to the ER open and a different doctores out.

    ¡°How is Ava doing, doctor?¡± Kate asks while her fingers fidgeted.

    ¡°We¡¯re now prepping her for surgery in order to remove the bullets. The C¨Csection went smoothly on the

    baby¡¯s part.

    Everyone sighs in relief, but I feel like there¡¯s something the doctor isn¡¯t saying. What did he mean when

    he said the C¨Csection went smoothly for the baby? What about Ava? Did that mean it went the opposite

    way?

    Before I can ask him, he speaks again.

    ¡°Congrattions! You have a baby girl.

 Chapter 115

    In aa

    Chapter 115

    I stand rooted in my spot as the words keep ringing in my ears.

    A baby girl.

    Ava has a baby girl. She has a little daughter. Noah is going to be so fucking happy. He has been praying

    that he gets a sister, and his prayer has been answered.

    ¡°Can I see her?¡±

    ¡°I know you¡¯re eager to see your daughter, Mr. Woods, but you¡¯ll have to wait a bit until we¡¯re done

    checking her,¡± he says.

    At first, his words don¡¯t make sense to me, but soon enough, I realize that he assumed that I was the

    baby¡¯s father. I don¡¯t mind it at all; it just came as a fucking shock.

    ¡°She¡¯s premature since she¡¯s only twenty¨Csix weeks old, and given the trauma she faced when Ava was

    shot and fell to the ground, we¡¯ll ce her in an incubator. She¡¯ll be in NICU until we feel she¡¯s healthy

    enough to be with family.¡± O

    I notice that he has not mentioned anything about Ava. Does that mean they have no hopes of her

    surviving?

    My heart rate increases at that possibility. She has to survive. She just has to. Otherwise, how are we

    supposed to live without her?

    ¡°You have to be prepared though. We will do everything in our power to make sure she survives, but you

    have to know that she may not. If she does, she may have severe disability such as cerebral palsy,

    learning difficulties or hearing and vision problems¡±

    ¡°But that is just a probability, right? It is not something that is set in stone.¡± I ask him, already feeling sorry

    for the little girl.

    She came into the world too early, and already she¡¯s faced and will face more than most people will ever

    face in their entire lives.

    ¡°Yes. It¡¯s just a possibility, but it doesn¡¯t always happen. We just prefer giving parents all the angles in

    case something happens.¡±

    I nod my head.

    ¡°What about Ava?¡± I ask before he can turn and walk away.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but I can¡¯t tell you anything right now. Her situation is delicate, so as of now we aren¡¯t sure

    how things will turn out.¡± He doesn¡¯t give us time to process anything before he walks back into the room.

    I stand numbly as his words hit me like sharp shards of ss. They pierce my heart and soul and cause

    a load of pain.

    Minutester, a nursees to let us know that Ava is now in surgery. I thought I would see her before

    they took her to surgery, but she told me that they used a different door.

    She said that her wounds, especially the one on her head, wasn¡¯t pretty. They couldn¡¯t allow her family to

    see her like that.

    After she leaves, I take my seat and continue praying to a God I have lost touch with. I bargain with him,

    I threaten him, and finally, I fucking beg him. Beg him to listen to my prayers. Beg him to save the woman

    I love.

    ¡°Can I get you something to eat, Ro?¡± My mom asks me.

    I shake my head. I couldn¡¯t even stomach the thought of food right now, let alone eat it. I was a nervous

    fucking wreck. Food was thest thing on my mind.

    Gabe takes the seat next to me when mom vacates it. With dad sitting on my other side. I don¡¯t like

    admitting weakness, but in this moment, I am. I am weak and helpless, and I didn¡¯t know how to stop

    feeling that way.

    Time passes with no word from the doctors. Before I know it, the waiting room door opens, and Noah

    comes running to me. His body collides with mine and I take time to just breathe his scent in. It calms

    me, but not by much.

    I spot Calvin entering with Gunner. I give him a nod to say thank you, which he reciprocates. Emma

    freezes upon seeing them, but Kate¡¯s eyes fill with tears when her eyesnd on her grandson.

    ¡°Dad, where is mom? I asked Cal why he was picking me up instead of mom, but he said, You¡¯ll exin

    everything,¡± he says, a mask of concern firmly on his face.

    Damn this was hard. I had time toe up with a way of delivering the news, but words fail me.

    ¡°Is she having the baby? Is that why we are at the hospital?¡± he pushes.

    I take a calming breath before opening my mouth to speak.

    ¡°Your mom was hurt really badly, Buddy. The doctors are with her right now and they¡¯re doing everything

    to make sure that she¡¯ll be fine.¡±

    My heart breaks at seeing the tears that fill his eyes. He shouldn¡¯t be going through this. He shouldn¡¯t be

    here worrying about his beloved mother.

    ¡°What about the baby?¡± His voice is hoarse when she asks that

    I smile at him. ¡°You have a baby sister, Noah. Just like you wanted ¡±

    His eyes widen, and wonder fills his face, right before a smile takes over his features.

    ¡°Can I see her?¡±

    ¡°Not yet. Not until the doctors are done checking her out to make sure she¡¯s fine¡±

    The smile stays in ce for a while until it starts slowly slipping. The tears that he had controlled, start

    falling down his cheek. He doesn¡¯t make a sound though. He silently cries.

    ¡°Will she die like grandpa? I don¡¯t want her to leave me, dad.¡± His voices catches at the end and I pull

    him

    into my arms.

    I hug him to my chest while fighting my emotions and trying to be strong for him.

    That is a question he shouldn¡¯t have to wonder. A possibility he shouldn¡¯t have to consider.

    Whoever did this to Ava was going to pay dearly. He or she messed with the wrong person. For the pain

    they have caused they are going to feel it tenfold.

    ¡°No, she won¡¯t. Your mom is strong. I¡¯m very sure that she¡¯ll pull through¡± I murmur in his ear.

    We stay like that for a while before he lets me go and climbs on my thigh. He thenys his head on my

    chest and holds me tightly. Noah is a strong boy, and the fact that he¡¯s behaving this way shows just how

    vulnerable he is.

    We continue waiting. I stand up, pace, and then sit down over and over again. Noah never leaves my

    side,

    even for a moment. Every minute that passed without a word, I slowly die inside. I was afraid that the

    dy meant that things weren¡¯t going as was expected 1

    It was hours after Ava had been taken in for surgery when her parents arrived.

    ¡°Where is my daughter?¡± Nora rushes in. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy.

    This is the first time that I have seen Nora and Theo disheveled. They¡¯ve always been put together. Even

    when Ethan was sentenced. Yet today they looked like hell had frozen over.

    It¡¯s understandable, though. They lost more than twenty¨Cfive years with their daughter, and now they

    face

    the risk of losing her for good.

    Before anyone can answer, the door opens, and a doctores out. The look on his face tells me

    everything I need to know. He didn¡¯t have good news.

    I turn to my mom ¡°Could you take Noah and Gunner to get some snacks, I¡¯m sure they¡¯re hungry.¡±

    She nods her head and calls the boys to her. Noah gives me a look, but I assure him that everything will

    be okay.

    I know I fucking lied, but I can¡¯t have him here in case the doctor delivers terrible news.

    ¡°Mr. Woods¡­¡± he begins, but stops.

    I grit my teeth and force my jaw to work.

    ¡°Fucking say it,¡± I snarl as I brace myself against what might be an announcement of a death.

    ¡°She¡¯s alive, but she slipped into aa during surgery,¡± he says calmly, delivering one more blow that

    none of us were expecting.

 Chapter 116

    ¡°What do you mean she slipped into aa?¡± Theo asks with an unmistakable tremble in his voice.

    My heart was once again thudding against my ribcage. It felt like it wanted to punch a whole right through my fucking chest.

    I try to think clearly, but it¡¯s like my brain can¡¯t function. Time slowed down as the doctor spoke. All I heard was a ringing in my ear.

    I stumble back and fall on the seat I had vacated. Gabe and my dad put their hands on me, but I shake them off. I didn¡¯t want theirfort. I wanted the doctor to tell me that the surgery had been a sess and that in a few hours Ava would wake up.

    ¡°She had a total of four bullets. One hit her head, the second hit her chest, the third hit her stomach, and the final one hit her thigh. We were able to remove three of them sessfully, except for the one in her skull. It was lodged too deep and removing it would have killed her.¡±

    Fuck. I don¡¯t know what to feel or think about that. He is telling us that Ava will have to live with a bullet stuck in her head. How is any of that fair? She was okay this morning before things took a turn for the worst.

    ¡®At least she¡¯s alive,¡® a voice whispers.

    I ignore it. She was alive, but would she stay alive? That was the main fucking question.

    ¡°We were able to stop the bleeding, both internal and external. We, fluid, which helped with the swelling in her brain. She t¨Clined twice. It¡¯s after the second time that she slipped into ama. For now, she¡¯s in ICU.¡±

    If I thought nothing could hurt me worse than seeing Ava get shot, then I was wrong. Hearing that we almost lost her twice destroyed me. It is like being stabbed by a thousand sharp knives. I wouldn¡¯t wish anyone this fucking pain. Not even my worst enemy.

    ¡°Will she wake up?¡± I breathe hoarsely. ¡°Will she be able to make a full recovery?¡±

    ¡°At this point, we can¡¯t really say. This isn¡¯t an induceda, and we can¡¯t assure you that she¡¯ll wake up in a few days. She might wake up tomorrow, in a few days, in a few months, or she might not wake up at all. For now, we¡¯ll give it a few days to see whether she¡¯ll wake up.¡±

    The possibility that she might not wake up nearly brought me to my knees.

    I push those thoughts away. I can¡¯t think like that. She¡¯s strong; she¡¯ll wake up. In a few fucking days, she¡¯ll be up, ring and snapping at me.

    ¡°What about the bullet in her brain? Will living with it have any effect on her?¡± Nora asks as tears run down her cheek.

    I can¡¯t even begin to imagine how hard this must be for her. I can¡¯t ever imagine facing the likelihood of losing Noah. It¡¯s just too much to even think about.

    ¡°There are some who live perfectly normal lives, and there are others who are affected. She might have trouble remembering things, have speech and hearing issues, or have trouble recognizing words, letters, and numbers. These are just a few things that might be affected by the kind of injury to her brain. Right now, we can¡¯t say for sure. We have to wait for her to wake up.¡±

    If she wakes up,

    He doesn¡¯t say the words verbally, but it¡¯s in the way he looks at us. The uncertainty is in his eyes.

    Nora nods as more tears fall down her face. Theo pulls her into his arms and hugs her close to his chest.

    The strong couple I know is nowhere to be seen. The only ones standing in their ce are two concerned, heartbroken parents.

    ¡°Since it¡¯s already past visiting hours, you¡¯ll have toe back tomorrow, and even then, we will only allow one person in the room with her. Now, if you¡¯ll excuse me, I¡¯ll take my leave.¡±

    We nod at him, and he leaves just as momes back with the boys.

    Noah immediatelyes to me, while Gunner goes to his father.

    ¡°What did the doctor say? Is mom okay?¡± He looks up at me with hope, shinning his eyes.

    This is the hard part of being a parent. Knowing whether to tell your kid the fucking truth or lie to them.

    Should I tell him that the doctors aren¡¯t really sure his mother will wake up from thea, or should I lie and tell him that she¡¯s okay?

    ¡°The doctors aren¡¯t sure, Bud. We¡¯ll just have to wait and pray.¡± I decide to go with honesty.

    If lied and, God forbid, Ava never wakes up, he would end up hating me for lying that his mom was okay.

    He doesn¡¯t say anything. Just looks at me before looking at the floor.

    After a few minutes of silence, I turn and face the rest.

    ¡°Since we won¡¯t be able to see her today, I think you should all go home, get some rest, ande back tomorrow.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± both Corrine and Letty refuse at the same time, followed by Nora and Theo.

    I try to convince them that I¡¯ll let them know if somethinges up, but they refuse to budge. In the end, everyone decides to stay except for Emma, Cal, Kate, and my parents.

    My parents agree to go home only after I tell them that Noah can¡¯t stay in the hospital and that he needs someone with him. Cal agrees for the sake of Gunner. The boy was already yawning even though you could see the worry in his face.

    Gabe sits by my side after they leave. There is little talking. Mostly we just sit in silence, that is until Brian arrives.

    I¡¯m sorry I got herete. We had to interview the witnesses about Ava¡¯s shooting. I¡¯m really sorry for what happened to her.¡±

    I nod my head.

    ¡°Have you found anything?¡±

    ¡°The witnesses couldn¡¯t give us anything beyond what we already know and have seen on the video¡±

    Shit. I was hoping they would have something. A starting point.

    ¡°Is she in any state to be questioned?¡±

    My face shuts down, and my voice hardens. I know it¡¯s not his fault since he doesn¡¯t know the details, but it just pisses me off.

    ¡°She¡¯s in aa,¡± I grit out.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± he says remorsefully, but it doesn¡¯t do anything to elevate what I feel inside.

    ¡°Is there any information you can give me? Has anyone been threatening her? Following her? Any suspicious person lurking around her? Any information, no matter how small, could help.¡±

    I shake my head. ¡°None. I have nothing.¡±

    He just nods before turning to the rest.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know if I¡¯m imagining it, but when she called me, she sounded stressed and desperate. It may not be anything, but she just didn¡¯t sound like herself. I thought that maybe she was struggling with her past traumas given that the news about Gunner triggered her.¡±

    ¡°Who is Gunner?¡±

    ¡°Emma¡¯s son. She kept him hidden until Ava found out the truth and revealed it to us,¡± Travis answers,

    Emma looks at the floor, hiding her emotions.

    ¡°Why would she keep him hidden?¡±

    ¡°She didn¡¯t want him in her life, and she didn¡¯t want us to know about him. Calvin, who is the dad, and

    Gunner moved next door to Ava. That¡¯s how she was able to connect the pieces.¡±

    Brian was now fully facing Travis. ¡°And how did that go down?¡±

    ¡°Not well. We are all pissed at her and since she still insists on this stupidity, mom gave her an ultimatum: mend the fences or we cut her off from our lives.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure Emma didn¡¯t take that well.¡± Brian questions further.

    ¡°Not at all. She was and still is pissed, especially at Ava for revealing the truth.¡±

    Brain rubs his chin as his mind works. You can clearly see the wheels turning in his head. I¡¯ve known Brian for a long time. Something was going on inside his head.

    ¡°I see,¡± he finally says after a while.

    ¡°See what, exactly?¡± Gabe and I ask him at the same time.

    ¡°ording to what Travis has told me, I may have my first suspect.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Travis asks, just as Corrine whispers,

    ¡°Who?¡±

    He gives a firm and thin smile. ¡°Emma¡±

    The rest look at him like he has grown another head or something. I just stare at him contemting. If you look at it from his angle then sure, Emma might have motive.

    The only question is: is her anger, hatred, and bitterness towards Ava enough to want her dead and to actually n a hit on her?

 Chapter 117

    Reaper

    Chapter 117.

    ¡°That¡¯s not possible. Emma could never do something like this.¡± Travis defends his sister.

    Sure, he was pissed at her, but when it came down to it, she was still his baby sister. He would defend

    her with everything that he had.

    ¡°Son, in my line of work, anything is possible,¡± Brian says tonelessly.

    He then takes out a note book and begins scribbling down something. It¡¯s only for a few minutes before

    he looks up at us.

    ¡°But seriously, Emma wouldn¡¯t hurt her; sure, she and Ava don¡¯t see eye¨Cto¨Ceye, but she would never

    hurt her,¡± Travis insists, while the rest just stay quiet.

    I want to believe that Emma wouldn¡¯t do something like this, but I wasn¡¯t sure any more. The woman who

    came back months ago isn¡¯t the same woman who left years ago.

    She was filled with so much anger and hatred towards Ava. So much so that she would threaten a child

    and make up fucking lies just to get Ava in trouble.

    ¡°I¡¯m not saying that she did it; all I¡¯m saying is that she¡¯s a suspect,¡± Brian rifies. ¡°Hatred and anger are

    pretty strong motives to have someone killed as some sort of revenge. It¡¯s also not coincidental that

    Ava¡¯s shooting happened not less than three weeks after she revealed Emma¡¯s big secret. One that she

    had gone to great lengths to hide.¡±

    Looking at things, everything pointed to Emma. She¡¯s the only one Ava has had a falling out with

    recently, and given the strenuous rtionship, it¡¯s easy to see how Emma could have snapped and hired

    someone

    to kill Ava.

    I look at Travis; he looks like he has been struck by lightning. I see it in his eyes. He regrets why he

    opened his mouth, because he might have just gotten his sister in trouble.

    ¡°What about Reaper?¡± I ask, remembering he had targeted Ava and Emma.

    ¡°Yeah, I considered him, but for some odd reason, I feel like he isn¡¯t behind this. His beef is with you.

    Sure, he kidnapped Ava and Emma, but from those of his men we captured that day, he was just

    messing with you. He didn¡¯t n on killing them¡ªwell, Ava, that is. He didn¡¯t n on killing her. He

    specifically told

    them not toy a hand on Ava or he would slit their throats.¡±

    I¡¯m surprised at that little piece of information, but I don¡¯t show it.

    ¡°That¡¯s odd,¡± I mutter as I feel my brows pull together.

    ¡°Definitely. Even more weird is that the man who hit Ava died in prison under mysterious circumstances,¡±

    he adds, ¡°Anyway, as I was saying, his target is you. It has always been you. I believe that if he ever get

    his revenge, he¡¯ll either kill you or ruin your business.¡±

    Both Gabe and I snort in unison. The bastard can try, but he won¡¯t seed in ruining mypany. Many

    have tried. Fuck. Even the Howell¡¯s did try, and they still failed. As for killing me, well, we¡¯ll just have to

    see.

    ¡°So you honestly don¡¯t believe it was him?¡± Nora asks in a small voice.

    ¡°Yes. Whoever shot Ava had a grudge with her. A huge one. It¡¯s in the way he or she shot her. Reaper

    has no grudge with Ava so he wouldn¡¯t go after her the way this person or people did.¡±

    He confirmed what I had already suspected. Whoever shot at Ava wanted her dead. That is the reason

    for the multiple shots. He or she didn¡¯t want her to escape death.

    ¡°What about the number te of the SUV they used?¡± Theo looks like he has aged so much in the few

    hours we¡¯ve been here.

    ¡°Nothing on it. They took out the te, so we only know that it was ck,¡± Brian sighs. ¡°There are

    probably thousands of ck SUVS in this city.¡±

    We stay silent for a while. Each of us is lost in our own thoughts. There was so much going on in my

    head that I could barely think straight.

    I pushed all of those thoughts to the back of my head. What matters is Ava¡¯s health. I can deal with who

    wanted her dead after she recovers.

    ¡°Okay, I¡¯ll leave you all and go back to the station.¡± Brian breaks the silence. ¡°For now, I¡¯ll advise you to

    make sure not too many people know she¡¯s alive. Thest thing we need is whoever is after hering

    back to finish the job, though I¡¯ll send two officers to guard the door to her room, just in case.¡±

    I nod my head, and Gabe leads him out.

    ¡°I¡¯ll call our contacts, and you call yours,¡± Theo says. ¡°Let¡¯s make sure word of her being alive doesn¡¯t get

    out until she¡¯s out of danger.¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡± I agree.

    I take my phone and begin making calls.

    This was sure as hell going to be a long night.

    I wake up to someone tapping my shoulder.

    Fuck 1 had stapt in an ufortable angle and now my back and neck hurt like a bitch.

    I open my eyes to find that it¡¯s already morning. I look up to find an older nurse staring at me with a warm

    smile.

    ¡°Morning, Mr. Woods, I just wanted to inform you that I¡¯ll be Miss Ava¡¯s nurse.¡±

    I give her what I think resembles a smile, but I can¡¯t really be sure.

    ¡°You can call me Rowan.¡±

    I look at her room door and find the two officers still there. We had been transferred to the ICU waiting

    room sometime during the night.

    ¡°Okay then. My name is Rosa,¡± she says, kindness radiating from her. ¡°Is there anything I can get you?¡±

    ¡°No, but thank you.¡± I don¡¯t think I can stomach anything right now. ¡°When can we see Ava and the

    baby?¡±

    She looks down and checks her watch. ¡°In about two hours or so. That¡¯s when visiting hours start.¡±

    I nod my head and thank her. By the time she leaves, all the rest are already up. Some looked confused

    at first, until yesterday¡¯s events hit them.

    ¡°What did the nurse want?¡± Nora asks.

    ¡°She just wanted to introduce herself as Ava¡¯s nurse,¡± I mumble.

    My thoughts were jumbled, and I was bone tired. Maybe I should have asked her for coffee and maybe

    some breakfast since I haven¡¯t eaten a fucking thing since yesterday.

    ¡°Did she say when we could see the baby and Ava?¡±

    I was about to answer her when someone entering the waiting room caught my attention. Maybe it¡¯s the

    fact that I didn¡¯t sleep muchst night, but it takes a while for my brain to load.

    The minute his face registers, my face shuts down and hardens. You¡¯ve got to be fucking kidding me.

    What the hell was Reaper doing here?v

 Chapter 118

    I feel as ay anger starts rising to the surface. I know what Brian said, but I still haven¡¯t ruled out Reaper

    from my list of suspects.

    I mean,e the fuck on, he had Ava kidnapped. You just don¡¯t do that unless you have an ulterior

    motive. Plus, what Brian says just doesn¡¯t make sense. Why would he kidnap her and then force me to

    make a decision if he really didn¡¯t want her to get hurt?

    ¡°What the fuck are you doing here?¡± I snarl at him.

    His eyes sweep over me to the rest. They¡¯ve all stood up in guard, but that doesn¡¯t seem to faze him at

    all.

    One thing that makes Reaper really dangerous is the fact that he was maniac. Sure, I am cold, but

    Reaper

    takes that to a whole new level. He is a sociopath and a psychopath, all wrapped in a pretty ugly and

    deadly bow.

    ¡°I¡¯m here to see, Ava. Why else do you think I would be here? To see your sorry ass?¡± he asks with a

    devious smirk.

    I grind my teeth, willing myself not to start a fightin

    kicked out, and I couldn¡¯t have that.

    a fucking hospital. It would be the sure way to get

    ¡°And you honestly think we believe that? Gabe asks him. ¡°You kidnapped her a few months ago.¡±

    He turns those deadly eyes towards my brother. I¡¯m not easily fazed, but Reapers eyes radiate a kind of

    coldness that had you feeling chills down your spine.

    His eyes were dead and cold. Almost like the man didn¡¯t have a fucking soul. Maybe he didn¡¯t. Who the

    fuck knows anyway?

    ¡°I personally don¡¯t care what the fuck you think because I am not here for any of you.¡± he doesn¡¯t lose his

    His condescending tone, not to mention his attitude was grating on my nerves. I don¡¯t even understand

    what he is doing here in the first ce.

    ¡°Why would we tell you that? For all we know, you¡¯re the bastard that put a hit on her¡± I tell him through

    clenched.

    He stares at me with wide eyes, before throwing his head back andughing. It rings off the walls of the

    waiting room, leaving goosebumps all over my skin.

    He suddenly stops and his gaze fixes on me.

    ¡°Trust me, if I wanted Ava dead, she¡¯d be dead¡± he says in that same icy tone.

    ¡°Then if you¡¯re not the one responsible, then why are you here? I don¡¯t really see how her health is any

    of your concern¡± Nora speaks.

    His gaze leaves mine before it sweeps over the rest. They finally rest on someone behind me. I slowly

    turn to check who he was looking at. It¡¯s Corrine.

    He lingers there for a while. He looks enraptured while Corrine looked like she couldn¡¯t keep her eyes of

    him. He finally pulls his gaze away with what I am damn sure is great difficulty.

    Interesting.

    He focuses on Nora. ¡°Well she¡¯s carrying my niece, of course I will be concerned about her¡±

    He delivers the line smoothly, but leaves us shocked.

    The man must be delusional or something. There is no way I just heard him right. How the fuck could he

    be the baby¡¯s uncle. I don¡¯t think he is rted to Ava in anyway. Unless he¡¯s a long lost brother of hers.

    ¡°Th¨Cthat¡¯s impossible¡± Letty stammers.

    By Nora and Theo¡¯s reaction, Reaper couldn¡¯t be their son, so if he was telling the truth then he is rted

    to the baby some other way.

    I study him and that¡¯s when it clicks.

    ¡°You¡¯re Ethan¡¯s brother¡± I announce as the simrities ring in my head.

    ¡°Bingo¡±

    ¡°But how?¡± Nora whispers. ¡°When we adopted Ethan we were told that he had no family left¡±

    ¡°I was in juvie then, word got back to me from one of my father¡¯s men that Ethan was in foster care. I told

    them to mess with his records so that it seemed like our dad was the only family he had.¡± He pauses.

    Like I told Ava, I wanted him to have a chance at a normal life. So that¡¯s what I gave him. I didn¡¯t want

    him to turn out a criminal¡±

    ¡°And yet he still ended up in prison,¡± I tell him sarcastically.

    Heughs, but this time it isn¡¯t chilly. It¡¯s sort of warm. If you can even call it that.

    ¡°Ava said the same damn thing¡±

    ¡±

    We are quiet for a while until Theo speaks.

    ¡°From your tone of voice, it seems you¡¯ve been around my daughter¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t say round¡­we¡¯ve beenmunicating.¡± He begins.

    He then tells us everything. His n when he kidnapped Ava and how he went to her afterwards and

    asked her if he could be in the baby¡¯s life. Ava, bless her kind soul which will one day probably get her in

    trouble, epted.

    ¡°You do realize that if the police ever find out you were in contact with her, she¡¯ll be in trouble?¡± Corrine

    asks.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about that. I¡¯ve got to a n in the works¡± he gives her a mischievous smile, but doesn¡¯t say

    anything more.

    ¡°Since you were inmunication with her, did she ever mention anything to you? Maybe she felt

    unsafe

    or threatened? Anything at all¡± I plead with him. We needed something to give us a start on where to

    look.

    Reaper tells us about when Ava first got the note and proceeds to tell us about the two more that came

    after. She got thest note yesterday. The same day she was short.

    I get this ugly feeling when I think of her going to Reaper instead of me. Before it can consume me, I

    push

    it away. Right now that didn¡¯t matter. Not when she was lying in aa.

    ¡°I hate that I wasn¡¯t able to protect her. I should have dug deeper, maybe I could have prevented all this¡±

    I recognize an emotion that I never thought I would see reflected in his eyes. He was struggling with it

    because he has never had to feel guilty about anything.

    No one says anything because we are all struggling with something. We all think we could have

    prevented

    this somehow.

    I sit down and sigh just as Emma walks into the waiting room.

    The moment Reaper sees her, all traces of warmth and guilt disappear. Before any of us can do

    anything,

    he storms over to her, wraps his hand around her neck and shoves her against the wall.

    ¡°What the hell are you doing?¡± Travis shouts at him, but he doesn¡¯t stop.

    Emma releases a strangled cry. Fear masking her entire face.

    I look to the ceiling and sigh. ¡°Let her go, Reaper¡±

    He doesn¡¯t listen. In fact he squeezes her neck.

    Travis tries to get him off his sister, while the rest stand frozen, but he doesn¡¯t budge.

    ¡°If I find out that you had anything to do with hurting Ava, I swear I will gut you. I will make the serial killer

    documentaries you like watch seem like a fucking fairytale aspared to what I will do to you, am i

    understors?¡±

    I don¡¯t know how the hell he even knows she likes watching serial killer documentaries. Then again, this

    is Reaper we¡¯re talking about. Nothing he does or knows surprises me.

    She nods with wide eyes and tear stained cheeks.

    Reaper gives her one more squeeze before letting go.

    ¡°You bastard¡± Travis snarls and swings at Reaper, but he sidesteps him.

    ¡°Try to hit me again and you¡¯ll be buried next to your father within a week¡± he warns him. 2

    That seems to sober Travis up pretty quickly. He back away from Reaper. He knows that it¡¯s not an

    empty threat. If reaper says he¡¯ll do it then that¡¯s exactly what he¡¯ll do.

    A nursees out and cuts the tense atmosphere.

    ¡°Hi, I¡¯m Mary the head nurse in NICU¡­¡±

    Before she can finish, I cut her off.

    ¡°Is the baby okay?¡±

    She gives me a small smile. ¡°She¡¯s in an incubator which you already know, but so far she¡¯s doing okay.

    We¡¯ll have to keep a special eye on her within the next few days to make sure what happened to her

    mother didn¡¯t leave any permanent damages, but we¡¯re confident that she¡¯ll survive¡±

    I breathe a sigh of relief and I feel the same from Reaper who¡¯s standing next to me. 1

    ¡°I¡¯m here because we need to name her. Do you know what name her mother chose for her?¡±

    No one speaks. For a while until a small voice behind answers

    ¡°Iris¡±

    I turn and find Noah. He was with my parents.

    He immediately leaves their hand, takes a few strides and takes mine before looking up at the nurse.

    ¡°She didn¡¯t know if the baby was going to be boy or girl, but she told me that if it¡¯s a boy, we¡¯ll name him

    Kaden and if it¡¯s a girl then she¡¯ll be called Iris.¡±

    Mary gives him a small smile. ¡°And what¡¯s herst name?¡±

    Noah answers confidently.

    ¡°Howell.¡± He pauses. ¡°She¡¯s called Iris Renee Howel

 Chapter 119

    Hoping against hope

    I stare at my son. I¡¯m so proud of him and of the bond he has with his mother. No one, not even her best

    friends and her parents, knew the name she had chosen, yet she had told Noah.

    ¡°That¡¯s really good,¡± Mary says, smiling at Noah. ¡°You¡¯re already shaping up to be a great big brother.¡±

    Noah just nods, then looks up at me.

    ¡°One day we were on her bed while eating ice cream because she wanted it so much. I asked her what

    name we were going to give to the baby. We spent hours going through baby names until we settled on

    those two. It was so much fun, and weughed a lot.¡±

    Tears start filling his eyes once again, and I pull him to my side. It physically hurt to see him hurting. To

    see him in pain. I wanted to ease his heartache, but I didn¡¯t have the power.

    ¡°When will she get better? I miss her so much,¡± he continues to cry.

    I kept quiet because I have no answer to that. Not even the doctors know when or if Ava will wake up.

    Mary kneels down to his level. She gently tugs at him a little. Noah doesn¡¯t let me go, but he twists his

    head to face her.

    ¡°Tell you what? How about I let you visit your sister? You¡¯ll be the first person to see her,¡± she tells him.

    ¡°Really?¡± he asks as he wipes away his tears.

    ¡°Really¡± she smiles. ¡°Just give me a few minutes, and I¡¯lle to get you. Is that okay?¡±

    Noah nods his head as a small smile takes over his lips. The sadness is still there, but it¡¯s been pushed

    back.

    When Mary stands up, I give her an appreciated nod. It may seem like a small thing, but she has done

    something huge. She has given Noah hope. Something, or rather, someone to hold on to while he waits

    for his mother to recover.

    She nods to the rest and then turns to leave. Taking Noah¡¯s hand, I lead him to the seats. I was damn

    exhausted. Mentally, psychically, and emotionally. I could use some sleep, but I won¡¯t get it until I see

    both mother and child.

    To my surprise, Calvin, Gunner and Kate walk in. Gunner¡¯s hand is held firmly in Kate¡¯s. They were

    chatting

    while Calvin walked behind them. I can¡¯t really tell whether they¡¯ve told Gunner the truth.

    I watch as Gunner¡¯s eyesnd on Emma. They be huge. I don¡¯t understand that part, because I¡¯m

    He let¡¯s go of his grandmother¡¯s hand and literallyunches himself at Emma. Emma doesn¡¯t have it

    though. She gently pushes him away from her with a look of disapproval. Gunner¡¯s face falls, and tears

    start filling his eyes.

    He turns around and hugs his father. Calvin in turn res at Emma, as do Kate, Travis, and everyone

    else who had watched the interaction.

    Emma shrinks into herself but doesn¡¯t say a word.

    I look away and stare at Noah. He had his head on my shoulder and was holding my hand. His eyes

    were closed, but I knew very well that he wasn¡¯t asleep.

    ¡°What is he doing here?¡± The bitter voice makes me look up, only to find Kate pointing a finger at Reaper

    as hatred and bitterness filter through her eyes.

    ¡°He¡¯s here for Ava,¡± I tell her tiredly

    Her face twists into something ugly. ¡°I didn¡¯t know that Ava was buddies with criminals.¡±

    ¡°Of course you didn¡¯t, since you know nothing about my daughter,¡± Nora scoffs at Kate.

    The women have a stare down. Sure, Kate is a powerhouse, especially as the matriarch of the Sharp

    family, but she has nothing on Nora Howell.

    ¡°If

    you don¡¯t like the fact that he is here, then you¡¯re free to leave. Personally, I don¡¯t get why the hell

    you¡¯re here in the first ce, given that you treated Ava like shit for years.¡±

    That seems to shut Kate up, but it also drenches up something that I wasn¡¯t ready to deal with.

    Noah¡¯s eyes snap open. He looks at the rest before looking at me.

    ¡°What is Grandpa Theo talking about?¡± He didn¡¯t say the words loudly, but it was enough to catch

    everyone¡¯s attention.

    A look passes over all their faces. It¡¯s like they¡¯dpletely forgotten that Noah was here.

    ¡°Nothing, buddy. It¡¯s just a spat between adults. Nothing for you to worry about,¡± I try to assure him, but

    he

    doesn¡¯t buy it.

    ¡°No. I know what shit means, and grandpa is talking as if mom wasn¡¯t treated well. Is that it?¡± His voice

    bes hard as it nears the end of the sentence.

    Fuck. I was afraid this day woulde. I notice that everyone except for Calvin and Gunner stiffens.

    How

    do I tell him that Theo was right without making him hate us? Without making him hate me for the way

    we

    ¡°Noah, are you ready to see your baby sister?¡± Maryes back out with a smile on her face.

    I heave a sigh of relief and thank the heavens for the distraction. Noah seems to have forgotten.

    everything as excitement takes over his features.

    ¡°Mr. Woods, you¡¯ll have to apany him,¡± she says, turning around as Noah takes her hand.

    I nod my head and follow them.

    We first enter a separate room where they sanitize us before giving us a medical gown, gloves, and

    masks to wear. Once that is done, we are then taken to the NICU unit. We pass a few babies who were

    also in incubators before stopping at one in particr.

    Mary smiles at us. ¡°Noah, meet Iris.¡±

    One look at her, and she had me wrapped around her tiny fingers. She wasn¡¯t my blood, but she already

    has my fucking heart in her hands.

    Iris, though small, is beautiful. She had her eyes closed, so I couldn¡¯t see her eye color, but everything

    else, from her nose to her lips and the piece of hair that was sticking out of her pink hat, was Ava. She

    was a spitting image of her mom.

    I feel my heart break watching the tubes sticking out of her. She didn¡¯t deserve this. She should still be

    cushioned in her mother¡¯s womb.

    She¡¯s alive.

    Right. That¡¯s what matters.

    ¡°Can I hold her?¡± Noah asks in a small voice.

    ÕäÎ¶

    Mary was right. Noah was already shaping up to be a great big brother. The love and care he has for his

    sister were stered all over his face. There is no fucking way you can miss it.

    ¡°No, honey, you can¡¯t¡­But you can touch her only if you promise to be careful.¡±

    He nods. Mary helps him get his hands inside the incubator. He softly touches her cheeks, and she leans

    into him, though she doesn¡¯t wake up.

    We stay inside for a while until the nurse lets us know it¡¯s time for us to leave. I walk back to the waiting

    room with Noah after we get out of the protective gear. I felt like I was in a fucking dream. Like I was in

    the present, but not at the same time.

    ¡°Where is Theo?¡± I ask my brother while taking a seat near him.

    Nora was by herself, and she looked so sad. So heartbroken.

    ¡°He¡¯s with Ava. The nurse couldn¡¯t let both of them in so Nora went first.¡±

    Maryes back again and asks who else wants to see Iris. Reaper, step forward. No one argues as

    she leads him to see his niece.

    ¡°How¡¯s Iris?¡± he asks.

    ¡°Beautiful¡± Noah still looks mesmerized. ¡°For some reason, I think she looks like Mom.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s right,¡± I add. ¡°She¡¯s the spitting image of her mother.¡±

    We stay in silence after that. A few momentster, Reaperes out, phone in hand. He answers and,

    after a few words, hangs up.

    ¡°It¡¯s time for me to leave, but I¡¯ll be in contact.¡± He tells me ¡°For Ava and Iris¡¯s sake I¡¯m willing to put our

    differences aside and catch the bastard that did this to them.¡±

    ¡°Fine,¡± I mutter, and give him my hand, which he shakes.

    ¡°Aren¡¯t you going to wait to see her?¡± Theo asks as he emerges from the room.

    ¡°Not today. I¡¯ve run out of time.¡±

    With that, he turns and leaves. I watch him, wondering why he left in such a hurry. My question is

    answered when Ethan walks in, escorted by police officers.

    I can¡¯t figure out if Reaper¡¯s hurried rush has something to do with seeing his brother, the police, or both.

    I feel the familiar anger every time I think about Ethan. I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll ever forgive him for ying and

    deceiving Ava. 2

    Standing up, I¡¯m about to confront the bastard when a hand mps down on my shoulder.

    ¡°We pulled some strings to get him here,¡± Theo begins. ¡°You¡¯re a father, so you understand that he has

    as much right to be here as the rest of you. Probably more, given he almost lost his daughter.¡±

    That stops me in my tracks as I watch Nora stand up and hug him. He hugs her back while fighting his

    emotions.

    ¡°Don¡¯t start a fight. It isn¡¯t worth it. Besides, I think you¡¯d much rather go see Ava.¡±

    1

    I grit my teeth but nod my head. He¡¯s right. No matter Ethan¡¯s sin, he deserves to see the daughter he

    came close to losing.

    I turn around just as the nurse calls for the next visitor. I ask if it¡¯s okay if Noah and I go in together, and

    thankfully, she agrees.

    We go through the same procedure we went through before seeing Iris. The moment we get inside her

    room, my tough resolve crumbles, and I copse in the seat as my legs fail me.

    Her head was wrapped in a bandage. The neck was in a neck cor. She had scratches on her face,

    probably from the ss that broke during the hit. As if that wasn¡¯t bad enough, she had all these tubes

    sticking out of her and machines surrounding her.

    I take one of her hands while Noah takes the other one.

    ¡°Mommy,¡± he calls, but of course she doesn¡¯t answer.

    She looks so peaceful. As if she were just sleeping, but we all know that¡¯s not the case, and that¡¯s what

    breaks my heart.

    I try to force the words out, but nothing leaves my mouth except a strangled cry.

    ¡®Pleasee back to me,¡® I beg. ¡®I need you¡®

    I kiss her palm and then run my hand down her cheeks, hoping against all hope that she¡¯ll wake up soon.

 Chapter 120

    <span style="font-size:24px"><strong>Chapter 0247</strong>

    Ethan.

    When I got the news from one of the inmates that Ava had been shot, I felt like my heart had been split wide open by a sledgehammer. Everything in me died when he told me that there was no further news, but the grapevine believed that she was dead because no one could survive that shooting. That, and the fact that her family kept quiet about it and there was no official report that was released,

    I love Ava, and I love my baby even more. Knowing that they both hadn¡¯t made it almost drove me to insanity.

    I waited the whole time with my heart in my throat. I waited for my parents to reach out and give me the bad news. When night arrived without a word from them, I was convinced that the rumors must be true. somehow. Otherwise, why would they take so long to make contact?

    I barely slept an inch the whole night. Worry and anxiety were constantpanions, driving me to the edge of insanity and filling my head with painful thoughts.

    At one point, I cried to God. Praying that he could somehow do a fucking miracle. I didn¡¯t believe in any deity, but at that point, I was willing to believe in anyone who would tell me that they were both alive and okay.

    My cellmate, the guards, and other inmates gave me pitying looks. I felt horrible, I looked horrible, and I was pretty sure that I was fucking dying inside.

    When moming came, I could barely keep my breakfast down. The images of one adult¨Csize casket and another tiny one kept wreaking havoc inside my head. It¡¯s all I could think about. It¡¯s all I saw.

    My heart skipped a beat when I was called into the warden¡¯s office. I didn¡¯t say anything when I saw my parent¡¯swyer.

    When he told me that I had been pardoned for a few hours, a ray of hope started rising inside me. On our way to the hospital, that small ray bloomed into something bigger when Christopher, the familywyer, told me that Ava and the baby were alive but in the ICU.

    I thanked whatever power that had done it. They were alive, and that¡¯s what mattered the most.

    Ethan, are you okay?¡± Mom¡¯s voice brings me back to the present.

    I stare at her, wondering how the fuck I got so lucky. Most women in her position would have kicked me out of their lives, but she didn¡¯t. Neither did my father.

    My eyes search for him. They finallynd on him. He was a few feet away from me, and he had his hand mped on Rowan¡¯s shoulder.

    Rowan looked ready to kill me as his eyes seared me with hate. I didn¡¯t mind at all. The feeling was fucking mutual, given how he treated Ava in the past.

    I watch as he turns around with Noah, and they follow a nurse.

    ¡°I¡¯m just relieved, Mom,¡± I tell her as my eyes tear up.

    I was so happy. I hadn¡¯t lost them. There was still hope for them.

    ¡°I love you, Ethan,¡± she says as tears fall down her face.

    I hate watching her cry. I hate seeing her heart break. I can see it in her eyes. The possibility of losing Aval was killing her.

    I pull her into my arms since they had removed my cuffs.

    ¡°I love you too, mom,¡± I breathe. ¡°And don¡¯t worry. Ava and the baby are going to be just fine. You¡¯ll see¡±

    ¡°You have a daughter,¡± dad says, and mom and I let each other go.

    ¡°What?¡± I stammer.

    They both give me a radiant smile. ¡°You have a baby girl. Her name is Iris.¡±

    The tears I was holding back? Yeah, I couldn¡¯t hold them back any more, so they fell freely down my face.

    ¡°Who named her?¡± It was a beautiful name, but I was afraid Ava would be pissed that they named our baby without consent.

    ¡°Noah,¡± mom answers. ¡°Apparently they were discussing names one day and they settled on Iris if she was a girl and Kaden if he was a boy.¡±

    My breath gets caught in my lungs, and my parents notice this.

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong? Aren¡¯t you happy with the name?¡± dad asks.

    ¡°It¡¯s not that. Iris is a beautiful name. It¡¯s just that I once mentioned to her that I loved the name Kaden.¡±

    Mom gives me a watery smile, and Dad gives me a side bun

    We were in bed that day. I just happened to mention it to Ava. I told her if I ever had a son, he would be named Kaden. The fact that she took me into consideration and decided to give the baby a name I loved in case it was a boy meant the fucking world to me.

    Before any of us can say anything, a nurse calls for me.

    ¡°We arranged it. You¡¯re her father; you deserve to see her,¡± mom says.

    I nod at her and follow the nurse. After they¡¯ve dressed me up, she leads me into a room and straight to my daughter.

    Seeing her so small with tubes attached to her brings me to my knees.

    ¡°Is she going to be okay?¡± I choke out.

    I didn¡¯t know I could ever love someone so much that it felt all¨Cconsuming, but I was wrong. Right there, Iris bes my world. I doubt anyone could ever be as important to me as she will ever be.

    ¡°Yes. She¡¯s doing well so far, and we¡¯re confident that she¡¯ll be okay,¡± she answers with a kind smile.

    I know every father probably thinks the same, but damn, Iris was really beautiful.

    I touch her tiny face, unable to believe that Ava made such a perfect being. She was everything to me and she now owned my heart.

    I thank Ava because if she hadn¡¯t convinced me when she told me she was pregnant, then I would have given up on the best gift anyone could ever give me.

    I might be in prison for the next few years, but I will do everything I can to protect her, and because of her, I will be on my best behavior just so I can be granted parole.

    I spend a few more minutes with her before Mary, as she introduced herself, tells me it¡¯s time for me to leave.

    I feel fucking heartbroken to leave my daughter, but I have no other choice. The few minutes I got to spend with her were the best moments of my life.

    Next, I get to see Ava. Fuck, I love her so much. Seeing her like this hurts me in ways I can¡¯t exin. I will forever regret ruining my chance with her, but I¡¯vee to realize that everything happens for a reason. It may not make sense, and maybe it never will, but there is a reason behind it.

    I was holding her hand when mom came and told me that my time is up. I sigh, but nod.

    Til always love you, Ava. I hope you know that.¡± I tell her still form before

    It takes everything for me to leave, but I remember that I promised Iris to get out of prison early.

    Leaving her room, I go and hug my parents. The guards were just about to cuff me when Letty¡¯s voice spoke from behind.

    ¡°Ethan?¡±

    I turn around and face her. We¡¯d be friends during my time with Ava. She was like the sister I never had.

    ¡°I¡¯m still pissed at you, but I¡¯m d that you¡¯re okay. I¡¯m sorry I haven¡¯te to see you¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s okay Letty I understand.¡±

    ¡°Can I hug you? I¡¯ve missed my friend.¡±

    I nod my head, and sheunches herself at me. I hug her close to me, feeling almost whole, but not quite.

    ¡°Take care of yourself,¡± I whisper.

    ¡°You too, Ethan,¡± she whispers back. ¡°I¡¯lle see you once things settle.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m looking forward to that.¡±

    I release her only to find Travis ring at him. I re back. I also hated him for the way he treated Ava. I just never understood why Letty was still with him.

    I hug my parents onest time before letting the guards cuff me.

    As they lead me back to prison, I pray for another miracle. One that entailed Ava waking up from hera and Iris surviving.

 Chapter 121

    <strong>Chapter 0248</strong>

    Rowan.

    It¡¯s been three months. Three fucking months since Ava was shot, and she¡¯s yet to wake up. With each month that goes by, everyone is slowly losing hope that she¡¯ll ever wake up.

    It¡¯s frustrating as hell, but there¡¯s nothing I can do about it. It¡¯s now beyond anyone¡¯s power.

    She was taken off the machine a month after her ident. She didn¡¯t need them to breathe since her lungs were doing just fine. They even transferred her to a normal room. We all thought she¡¯de out of thea then, but it never happened. Two months down the line, and we are still waiting.

    ¡°Should I wait for you, Mr. Wood?¡± my driver asks just before I get out of the car.

    ¡°It¡¯s not necessary. I¡¯ll call you when I¡¯m done.¡±

    I get out of the car and walk into the hospital. The staff greets me because I have been a regr visitor for the past few months.

    I just nod my head. I feel the tiredness down to my bones. I haven¡¯t had a moment of peace since that day. Sleep flees from me every single night, and I¡¯m left either staring at the ceiling all night or working.

    Due to the circumstances, Noah is back to living with me. He¡¯s here every day after school. Visiting his mother and sister. I see the toll everything is taking on him, but I know it¡¯ll only be better when Ava and Iris leave the hospital.

    I head first to see Iris before seeing Ava. That little girl has won my heart these past few months. Her resilience and strength to ovee what was thrown at her remind me of her mother.

    ¡°You¡¯re here, Rowan; let me just get our little princess ready,¡± Mary says as she busies herself.

    Iris was taken out of the incubator a week ago. The doctors said that she was now healthy and out of danger.

    Since she had reached the nine¨Cmonth milestone, there was no need for her to remain there.

    2 Minutester, Mary is handing Iris over to me.

    ¡°Hey princess, How are you doing today?¡± I ask her with a smile.

    I hold her tiny form in my chest and rock her back and forth. She doesn¡¯t cry; she just stares at me in fascination. She looked like Ava, but her blue eyes were Ethan¡¯s. She¡¯s definitely going to be a knockout when she¡¯s older.

    I run my finger down her cheek, and she grips it in a tight hold. I smile at that. She¡¯s be the highlight of my day, a part from Noah. She may not be my biological daughter, but in my heart, she was. Nothing can change that.

    ¡°It¡¯s now time for her bath,¡± Mary informs me.

    I look up at the ticking clock only to realize almost forty minutes have gone by. Iris is precious. While with her, you easily forget everything else going on around you.

    I let Mary take her away from me. This is usually the hardest fucking part. Letting her go.

    ¡°I¡¯lle to say goodbye to her once I¡¯m done visiting Ava,¡± I say as I stand.

    She nods her head and turns to leave. I watch them, feeling the heaviness in my heart get worse with each step she takes away from me.

    I was just about to leave when the pediatrician stopped me.E

    ¡°Do you have a minute, Rowan? I want to talk to you,¡± she asks in a gentle and kind voice.

    She¡¯s around my mother¡¯s age, and she just has this aura that immediately calms you down when you¡¯re around.

    ¡°Sure, about what?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s about Iris. As you know, she reached nine months a week ago, and since she¡¯s healthy and no longer in any danger, we¡¯ll have to release her from the hospital.¡±

 Chapter 122

    I stare at her, not really knowing what to do. ¡°You can¡¯t do that. Her mother hasn¡¯t woken up yet.¡±

    ¡°I know, but those are the rules of the hospital. One of you has to take her home whether Ava wakes up or not¡±

    Fuck. I run my hands through my messy hair. ¡°Can¡¯t she stay for just a little bit?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but no. We can only allow her to stay until tomorrow, but that¡¯s it¡±

    I nod my head. ¡°Okay. I¡¯ll discuss it with her grandparents.¡±

    Without waiting, I walk out of the nursery and head straight towards Ava¡¯s room. I was about to enter, when the door opens. Nora and Theoe out of the room:

    ¡°Just the people I wanted to see¡± the doctor¡¯s voice makes all three of us turn to face him.

    ¡°Is there a problem?¡± Theo asks, concern marring his face.

    ¡°Yes. I want you to consider a certain option for Ava. Usually patients wake up from thea within a month, the fact Ava hasn¡¯t concerns us and we are afraid that she won¡¯t be able to¡±

    I feel dread rising in my back. I don¡¯t want to jump to conclusions, but I don¡¯t fucking like where this conversation is going.

    ¡°But you told us she might recover,¡± Nora points out.

    ¡°Yes, might, but now I¡¯m not too confident. Not when there is little brain activity¡± he takes a deep breath.

    "I suggest you consider stopping her treatment¡±

    The sounds thates of my mouth can only be described as a snarl. ¡°In other words, you¡¯re asking us to end her life. To kill her¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but yes. She hasn¡¯t responded to treatment and I fear that she may never will. At this point, it would take a miracle for her to wake¡±

    Feeling tired of hearing his nonsense I turn.

    ¡°Then that is what we will wait for. A fucking miracle, cause there is no fucking way we¡¯re going to do what you¡¯re suggesting.

    I don¡¯t wait to hear his response or those of Nora and Theo. I walk away and enter Ava¡¯s room.

    ¡°Please, Ava. Come back. We can¡¯t do without you. Noah misses you so much, and so do I. Iris also needs you, now more than ever. They want to release her from the hospital. Please. Please wake up,¡± I beg.

    There is nothing from her side. She doesn¡¯t move. She doesn¡¯t open her eyes. She doesn¡¯t speak.

    ¡°They want us to consider ending your life. Please don¡¯t make me do that. Don¡¯t make me watch while they kill you. You need to open those fucking beautiful eyes.¡±

    I ce my head on my hand and just lean into her. For the first time since her shooting, I let my tears fall. I can¡¯t stop them even if I want to, so I just let them fucking flow.

    I let the sorrow and heartache that I¡¯ve been holding in wash over me. I was supposed to be strong for Noah, Iris, and her, but now I feel like the weakest fucker to ever walk the earth.

    I continue silently crying. Begging God for a miracle and begging Ava to wake up I don¡¯t know how long I was bent over when I felt soft, trembling fingers running down my face.

    At first, I thought it was just my imagination until a voice called my name. It¡¯s hoarse, but it¡¯s unmistakable.

    ¡°Rowan¡±

    I take a deep breath before rising my head, so afraid that it was all a dream, but it wasn¡¯t. My eyes sh with her confused ones.

    Holy fuck. Ava was awake.

 Chapter 123

    I stare at her, not really sure if this was a dream or not. Her eyes were unfocused as she surveyed the

    room before they finallynded on me.

    I probably looked like an idiot, gaping at her with my mouth wide open. I know that I¡¯ve been praying for a

    miracle. Begging her to wake up. Now that it had finally happened, it all felt surreal.

    ¡°Rowan? What¡¯s wrong?¡± She asks, her voice filled with confusion.

    ¡®Fuck, Ava. You¡¯re awake!¡± I yell in happiness, startling her in the process.

    I grab her and hug her to my chest. It felt so good. So damn good seeing her with her eyes open.

    Everything in me screamed in fucking joy. I was happy. I was amazed. I was mesmerized.

    ¡°Why wouldn¡¯t I be?¡± Her voicees out smothered.

    I pull her away from me and just look at her. I couldn¡¯t believe my eyes. I couldn¡¯t believe the miracle that

    had taken ce.

    Just a few minutes ago, I reached the end of my fucking limit. Her doctor had told us to consider the

    option of letting her go, and here she is. Breathing, eyes opened, and fully awake. It was a fucking

    miracle.

    I hug her again, just to feel grounded. I wanted to treasure this moment for the blessing that it was.

    Tears.

    cloud my eyes, and I let them fall. Fuck. Noah was going to be so fucking happy.

    Hell, everybody was going to be. We¡¯ve waited for this moment for three fucking months. Prayed every

    single day that she would wake up.

    Life without her has been gloomy. It was as if all of us were drowned in our sorrows and there was no

    ray.

    Now she was awake, everything could finally fall back into ce. I didn¡¯t have to worry about Noah or Iris

    because now they have their mother back. No one could take care of them or love them better than Ava

    could.

    ¡°You¡¯re scaring me, Rowan¡± she whispers.

    kiss her cheek and wipe away the damn tears. I¡¯m just d that you¡¯re back. That you came back to me.

    That you came back to us

    gar down her soft cheeks. It¡¯s been three months, so her wounds were healed. The ce

    ved her head to stitch her skull had even grown hair. No one could ever tell that she h

    ¡°Are you okay? You¡¯re acting uncharacteristically,¡± she asks as she feels my head for what I¡¯m sure is a

    fever.

    Iugh a full¨Cbodyugh. I haven¡¯tughed in weeks. It was good to have her back.

    ¡°I¡¯m damn fine now that those beautiful eyes are open.¡± I can¡¯t help myself, so I kiss her again.

    She stares at me as if she¡¯s trying to figure something out. Her eyes drop from mine to my lips, then back

    up again. She then shakes her head as if trying to clear some cobwebs. She looks at me like she has

    never seen me before.

    That should have been the sign that something was so fucking wrong, but I was so excited that I didn¡¯t

    pay that much attention.

    I squeeze her hand and then grin. ¡°Let me just get the doctor.¡±

    ¡°Wait!¡± she shouts before I can leave.

    She moves close to the edge of the bed and tries to take the pitcher that was on the side table. I take the

    few strides to her bed and help her when I see her hands shaking.

    Pouring some water into a ss, I help her drink. I hadn¡¯t even thought that she must be parched after

    waking up from aa and not speaking for months.

    After she finishes her water, she faces me. Her brows are furrowed and her mouth is turned down.

    ¡°What is happening, Rowan?¡± she asks in a small voice. ¡°Why am I in the hospital?¡±

    ¡°You were shot; do you remember that?¡± I take her hand in mine, reveling in their warmth.

    She shakes her head. ¡°No¡±

    I sigh. I¡¯ve read a few things about brain injuries. One article said that it¡¯s to be expected when a patient

    doesn¡¯t remember exactly what happened to them.

    Kissing her hand, I stand up.

    She looks at me suspiciously. Like she can¡¯t figure out why I kissed her or why I was being nice to her.

    That should have been the second sign that something was seriously wrong.

    Let me just get the doctor, and he can exin everything, okay?¡±

    She nods her head. I turn around, and I almost bump into Rosa, her nurse.

    was just about to go look for the doctor¡± I tell her happily. ¡°Ava is a wake.¡±

    the looks at me like I¡¯m insane before looking behind me. The moment she sees Ava, her eyes glUW

    Oh my gosh, let me just get Doctor Charles.¡± Before I can ask anything, she rushes out of the door.

    Turning around, I head towards Ava and take the empty seat next to her. I still can¡¯t believe that she is

    awake.

    ¡°Why did the nurse look shocked to see me up?¡± She asks after a while.

    ¡°Because you were in aa.¡±

    ¡°What? Seriously?¡± Now she¡¯s the one shocked. I guess she didn¡¯t expect that.

    ¡°Seriously. You¡¯ve been unconscious for three months.¡±

    Her

    reyes get even wider if that¡¯s possible, and her mouth drops open. I would haveughed at how fucking

    comical it was if it weren¡¯t for the fact that it¡¯s serious.

    Her mouth opens and closes as if she¡¯s trying to form words. Words that she¡¯s having a hard time saying

    and expressing.

    ¡°How¡¯s that even possible?¡± Panic was nowced in her tone. ¡°I don¡¯t remember being shot. So how am I

    suddenly waking up in the hospital only for you to tell me that I have been in a fuckinga for three

    whole fucking months?¡±

    Thest part is yelled.

    Her chest moves up and down rapidly. Her trembling gets worse, and her face contorts into what I¡¯m

    fucking sure is anxiety.

    Take a deep breath, Ava,¡± I calmly tell her, and she does. ¡°What¡¯s thest thing you remember?¡±

    Before she can answer, the door bursts open. Nora, Theo, Rosa and Doctor Charles walk in.

    Nora¡¯s eyes fill with tears, and before anyone can stop her, sheunches herself at Ava.

    The panic that had dissipated has be full¨Cblown. I know shit has hit the fan when Ava scowls right

    before she pushes her mother away.

    ¡°Who the fuck are you?¡± she screeches while looking at Nora.

    Fuck Something was definitely wrong.

 Chapter 124

    ¡°What the hell, Ava?¡± Theo shouts back while helping Nora straighten. ¡°Why would you push her like

    that?¡±

    Ava doesn¡¯t say anything. She just grabs her head and begins to slowly shake it. I get a bad feeling

    about this. Something wasn¡¯t adding up. Why the hell wasn¡¯t she happy to see her parents?

    I feel the answer deep inside me, but I block it. Refusing to acknowledge it. Call me delusional, or

    whatever the fuck you want, but I refuse to ept it. Ava was whole and well. That was the only truth I

    was going to ept.

    ¡°Let¡¯s all just calm down,¡± the doctor begins. ¡°I¡¯m sure there¡¯s a perfectly good exnation for why Ava

    reacted the way she did. It¡¯s not good to agitate her.¡±

    Ava looks up. Emotions war inside of her. Her eyes are tearing up, and that¡¯s when I realize that she

    doesn¡¯t understand what the hell is going on. She is confused and on edge.

    ¡°No.¡± Theo growls. ¡°I get she just woke up from aa, but I want to know why the fuck she¡¯s being

    such

    a brat.¡±

    Ava, hearing the words, cowers. Cursing, I get up, sit on the bed, and bring her into my arms. She grabs

    onto me and holds on as if her life truly depended on it.

    She faces Theo and Nora, tears running down her face. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. So sorry. But she came at me, and I

    didn¡¯t know who she was. She scared me.¡±

    My arms tighten around her as we stare at her in shock. God. Please let it be that I heard her wrong.

    That my fucking ears, for some unknown reason, weren¡¯t functioning well.

    ¡°Ava, dear,¡± the nurse calls. ¡°You know this two.¡±

    She shakes her head vigorously before wincing in pain.

    ¡°No, I don¡¯t, I don¡¯t know who they are,¡± she cries. ¡°Why does everyone think I know them? Should I

    know them?

    let go of her and ran a hand through my hair. Fuck. This wasn¡¯t what I was expecting when she woke up.

    thought things would fall into ce, but this? None of us even thought that this would happen.

    the sums to me. Who are they, Rowan?¡±

    mpers me, yet she doesn¡¯t remember her parents. When she woke up and called my name

    remembered me. Fuck, was I wrong.

    ¡°They¡¯re your parents,¡± I whisper as I look at her face for reactions.

    ¡°What?¡± she all but screams. ¡°No, they¡¯re not, Kate and James Sharp are my parents. You know this,

    Rowan; why are you saying otherwise?¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s not lying. You¡¯re our daughter, I¡¯m Nora and this is Theo.¡± Tears fall down Nora¡¯s face, and her

    voice

    catches

    Ava just shakes her head. ¡°No, you¡¯re not. I would know. I would remember something like that.¡±

    Doctor Charles cuts in. ¡°Clearly something is wrong, so let¡¯s do a few tests.¡±

    Hees straight to her and takes out a sh. He shines it in her eyes before switching it off. Next, he

    asks her to open her mouth wide, and he checks her tongue.

    ¡°So far, everything seems pretty normal, so that¡¯s good,¡± he tells us before focusing on Ava. ¡°Do you

    remember what happened to you?¡±

    ¡°No¡±

    ¡°Can you tell me what thest thing you remember is?¡±

    She seemed hesitant at first. As if she is embarrassed or something. Finally, after a while, she speaks.

    ¡°I remember going to sleep. It was mine and Rowan¡¯s anniversary, and he didn¡¯t show up.¡±

    Damn it. I missed all of our anniversaries just to spite her. She is a romantic at heart, so anniversaries

    were important. I knew this. That¡¯s why I made sure to miss each one of them.

    ¡°Okay, and what day was that?¡±

    ¡°August, ninth, two thousand and neen,¡± she replies, as if it should be normal, but everyone else

    except her knows that it¡¯s not

 Chapter 125

    Nora and the nurse gasp. While the rest of us just look at her in shock. I knew that things were bad, but I

    didn¡¯t think that they would be this bad.

    Her eyes scan our faces. ¡°Why do I feel like that¡¯s not the answer you were expecting?¡±

    ¡°Ava, we are in twenty, twenty¨Cthree¡± I gently tell her.

    ¡°Holy shit¡±

    Exactly. Meaning that Ava didn¡¯t remember thest four years of her life.

    The doctor takes a note book and scribbles something on it. ¡°I need to arrange some things. We need to

    do some scans. These kind of things happen, but we have to get our diagnosis right.

    He rushes out of the room. Rosa follows

    We are left staring at each other. No one knows how to react or what to think. This is something that

    none of us were prepared for. We also didn¡¯t see thising. It is a shock.

    ¡°So you really don¡¯t remember us?¡± Nora asks after a while.

    I feel so fucking sorry for them. They have been through enough without adding this to their list.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but no, thest thing I remember is crying myself to sleep.¡±

    Theo hugs his wife. I see how this hurts them. It¡¯s painful for them to know that Ava doesn¡¯t remember

    them.

    We stay in silence until the nursees back with a wheel chair. Nora and Theo decide to stay and

    make calls to deliver the news. I chose to go with Ava and Rosa.

    We go to a bunch of rooms mostly seeing specialist. They conduct a bunch of tests including scans. By

    the time we are done, Ava looks exhausted. I wheel her back to her room. The doctor is supposed to

    come and see us once they have a clear diagnosis.

    We get into her room and find it crowded. Everyone, except for my parents, Kate, Travis, and Emma, are

    there. Surprisingly, Noah is present too.

    asked Letty to get him from school. School Isn¡¯t over yet, but I think he deserves to be here right now,

    Thep tells me when he sees me looking at Noah.

    we will never be buddies, but we put our differences aside for Ava¡¯s and the children¡¯s sake.

    Ava looks overwhelmed as she stares at those in the room. Damn it. She doesn¡¯t remember them of

    course she would be nervous.

    ¡°Mom, you¡¯re awake!¡± Noah screams in happiness.

    Her eyes turn to him and widen. ¡°Oh my god, Noah?¡±

    I help her on the bed. Once she¡¯s settled, Noah gives her a hug thatsts a couple of minutes.

    I¡¯ve missed you so much, mom.¡±

    Man you¡¯re grown. I

    ¡°I¡¯ve missed you too¡± she pulls away a little and stares at him with wide eyes. in are you this tall? Thest

    time I saw you, you weren¡¯t this big¡±

    Letty, Calvin and Corrine give each other weird looks. I guess no one had told them of the new

    development.

    ¡°Youst saw me three months ago. I haven¡¯t changed much¡± heughs. ¡°Anyway, have you seen Iris

    yet?¡±

    Shit. Ipletely forgot about Iris.

    ¡°Who¡¯s Iris?¡±

    ¡°Are you trying to be funny, Mom?¡± Noah chuckles. ¡°Iris is my sister. We named her together.¡±

    Her shocked eyes turned to me. ¡°Holy shit! We have a daughter?¡±

    She¡¯s so surprised that she doesn¡¯t even realize that she cursed in front of Noah. Noah looks at her

    funny

    while I try toe up with an answer.

    How the hell am I supposed to tell her that Iris wasn¡¯t mine, but Ethan¡¯s, when she doesn¡¯t even

    remember

    him?

    Before I can say anything, the door opens and the specialist walks in.

    ¡°I¡¯ve got the results of the tests back, and I¡¯m sorry to say it isn¡¯t all good news,¡± he begins.

    My heart thumps in my chest, afraid of their findings. I already knew what¡¯s wrong with her; I was just

    fucking scared of it being voiced out.

    I¡¯m sorry, but Ava seems to have selective amnesia.¡±

 Chapter 126

    I¡¯ve read about selective amnesia. I came across it when I was researching brain injuries. I just never

    thought that it would affect Ava.

    ¡°Selective amnesia means that Ava has forgotten some events of her life, and that is thest four years.

    In some cases, she may remember all her memories, or some of them, or she won¡¯t ever remember at

    all and will remain with an empty gap for the rest of her life,¡± he exins.

    I watch everyone¡¯s reaction. Noah and I were the only lucky ones. She remembered us but didn¡¯t

    remember them.

    ¡°So you¡¯re telling us that she might never remember us?¡± Letty asks in a shaky voice.

    She runs her hand through her hair, but it¡¯s trembling a bit. I know how hard this must have hit her. They

    were best friends, yet Doctor Charles was telling her that Ava might not ever remember all the memories

    they shared together.

    ¡°Is this why mom doesn¡¯t know who Iris is?¡± His voicees out confident and assured.

    He was in a room full of adults and a doctor, yet he didn¡¯t have trouble asking about his concerns. Noah

    is shaping up to be a great CEO. While most kids would have trouble speaking their thoughts, Noah

    doesn¡¯t. He¡¯s my son, yet his confidence surprises me.

    ¡°Yes, Noah. That¡¯s the reason.¡± The doctor faces him before turning to us. ¡°We also noticed that she¡¯s

    having trouble with some letters and numbers, given she¡¯s a teacher, it¡¯s advisable that she doesn¡¯t

    return to work immediately.¡±

    ¡°But I love teaching.¡± Avains, sadness coating her voice.

    ¡°For now, it¡¯s for the best. We have to figure out this is permanent or it¡¯s fixable.¡±

    She doesn¡¯t like it, but she agrees.

    When will she be discharged?¡± I ask the doctor, eager to know his answer.

    Td like to keep her overnight, but you can take her home tomorrow.¡±

    Noah celebrates hearing this. It¡¯s not a surprise given how much he has missed his mom. His joy at

    having her with him is immeasurable. He still hasn¡¯t even let her go. I don¡¯t think he¡¯ll be doing that any

    Time soon anyway.

    ¡°Can I have a private moment with all of you?¡± Charles asks us. ¡°Noah can remain with his mom.¡±

    He leaves, and we follow him. I get nervous. Is there something else that¡¯s wrong? Something he wasn¡¯t

    comfortable sharing with Ava.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to ask you to refrain from trying to make her remember things from the past. This ismon

    with families. They try to force the memories back. Doing this could lead to serious migraines or, worse,

    seizures.¡±

    ¦§

    ¡°So, what are we supposed to do?¡± Theo sounds like he¡¯s at a loss for words.

    Charles turns to me. ¡°I believe the two of you are divorced, right?¡±

    I nod my head.

    ¡°She still thinks you are married, so you¡¯ll have to carry on like you are. You¡¯ll take her back to the house.

    you shared when you were together. Right now, it¡¯s important to surround her with things and people she

    is used to andfortable around.¡±

    I don¡¯t have a problem with that, but I feel like this will all blow up in my face. I can¡¯t go back to how

    things were between us during our marriage. I can¡¯t act like I don¡¯t have feelings for her.

    And what happens when she gets her memories back? When she realizes we didn¡¯t tell her the truth.

    ¡°Won¡¯t that be lying to her? A lot of things have changed,¡± Corrine asks.

    1 know you may feel that way, but this is the best course of action. Thest thing we need is to overload

    her brain. It might lead to some serious consequences for her.¡±

    I get what he was saying. I don¡¯t agree with lying to her, but I get that we have to reduce her stress

    levels. as much as we can. Overloading her with four years worth of information might just be too much

    for her to handle.

    ¡°And what are we supposed to do? Stay away from her?¡± Nora asks with paincing her voice.

    ¡°Build new memories with her. Don¡¯t try to make her remember you, but let her get to know you all over

    again.¡± Sympathy is written all over his face as he addresses the five of them. ¡°Now, if you¡¯ll excuse me, I

    need to see my other patients.

 Chapter 127

    Once he leaves, the rest go back to Ava¡¯s room while I stay back for a little bit. I just needed time to

    breathe. Everything was happening so fast and so differently. I was having a hard time catching up.

    I get back to her room after I¡¯m sure that I¡¯m more in control. I find Letty, Corrine, and Calvin introducing

    themselves.

    ¡°You¡¯re nerdy Cal,¡± Ava says with a smile. He gives her a re, but there isn¡¯t any heat behind it. ¡°It¡¯s

    such

    a small world that our sons are now best friends.¡±

    ¡°it is,¡± he simply says.

    No one mentions that Gunner is also Emma¡¯s son.

    ¡°So, mom, when are you going to see Iris?¡± Noah asks after the introductions are over.

    ¡°Can they bring her to me? I¡¯m eager to see her.¡± her smile is radiant and beautiful. Something that I

    haven¡¯t seen in a long time. ¡°I still can¡¯t believe we have a daughter¡±

    Damn it. How am I supposed to break this to her?

    Seeing my dilemma, Nora picks up the phone from the side table and calls the nurse station. Requesting

    for Nora to be brought.

    It doesn¡¯t take long before Mary arrives with the precious bundle.

    ¡°It¡¯s good to see you up Ava, there¡¯s someone who has waited long enough to see her mother¡± she

    smiles at her and ces Iris in Ava¡¯s arms.

    She then leaves, and promises toe backter to pick her up.

    ¡°Oh dear Lord¡± Ava breathes. ¡°She¡¯s so beautiful¡±

    ¡°She looks just like you, mom¡± Noah, adds.

    Iris didn¡¯t fuss or anything like that. Probably because she was asleep. We all watch in awe as Ava falls

    in love with Iris. A daughter she doesn¡¯t remember conceiving.

    When Noahins of hunger, Corrine and Letty offer to take him to buy something to eat while

    buying for the rest of us. Cal excuses himself. He had to go pick up Gunner from school.

    Where is the rest of the family? Do they really don¡¯t care about me?¡±

    hedpletely forgotten about them. They thought that Ava wouldn¡¯t them here now that she was

    They¡¯ll be here soon enough, but there is something you have to be prepared for¡± I tell her.

    There were things that were just too big and too fucking important to hide. I was about to tell her about

    James being dead when a gasp leaves her mouth.

    I turn her worriedly only to find her staring at Iris with shock and confusion.

    What is it, Ava¡±

    ¡°Why are her eyes blue? No one in your family has blue eyes and if what you¡¯re telling me it¡¯s true and

    mother and father are not my parents, then she shouldn¡¯t have blue eyes

    This is the other thing I wasn¡¯t willing to lie to Ava about. Iris¡¯s real father. My eyes slide to her parents,

    but they also looked panicked. Looks like they won¡¯t be of any help.

    ¡°She got them from her dad¡± I take a deep breath.

    ¡°You¡¯re her dad¡±

    ¡°No, I¡¯m not¡±

    ¡°Oh my God. Did I cheat you? Is that what happened?¡± she asks in panic while frantically trying to soothe

    Iris who was now screaming her little lungs out.

    I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s because Ava¡¯s panic spooked her, or because Ava was basically a stranger to her.

    Taking Iris from her arms, I hold her close to me before kissing her cheek. She immediately settles down

    and goes back to sleep.

    ¡°It¡¯s a long story and I¡¯ll tell you one of these days, but you didn¡¯t cheat on me¡±

    You better¡±

    Maybe by the time she demands answers, I will havee up with a reasonable exnation for her, as

    to why Iris had a different father without making her think that she cheated.

    ¡°So when am I going home¡± she¡¯s a bit more calm as she asks.

    Tomorrow

    Sereat, I can¡¯t wait to be back home.¡±

    stare at her as a small smile forms on my lips. I know I wasn¡¯t willing to lie to her when the doctor

    ested we hide the truth, but maybe this is my second chance with her. This is my chance to bring her

    love for me because I can¡¯t fucking live with

 Chapter 128

    Ava.

    I didn¡¯t sleep at all. My mind was all over the ce. Everything still seems to be so unreal. I¡¯ve heard

    about amnesia. I know about amnesia. I just never thought I would be one of the people suffering from it.

    It feels so weird that there is this huge gap in my memory. I remember nothing after I woke up. Nothing of

    the people who im to be my parents. Nothing of the people who im to be my friends. I remember

    nothing of Iris or the man who got me pregnant.

    Also, why would I sleep with another man? And why did it seem like Rowan had no problem with it?

    Scratch that; he isn¡¯t mad because he doesn¡¯t care. But why are we still married if I slept with someone.

    else and even got pregnant? And where the hell is my wedding ring?

    I feel like I have missed out a lot. In my memory, Noah is five. Yet the reality is that he¡¯s way past that. It

    feels like I¡¯ve missed him growing up. He shared all these memories he has with me, but they don¡¯t ring a

    bell to me at all.

    Looking out the window, I continue to brush my hair mindlessly. It was now evening, and I was waiting for

    Rowan and Noah toe and pick me and Iris up.

    That¡¯s the other thing that concerns me. Rowan is so different from how I know him. He¡¯s behaving so

    differently that I keep wondering if I woke up in a different universe, because damn it, it¡¯s like an alien has

    taken over his body or something.

    The hugs. The kisses. The holding my hand all the freaking time. It is just something that I¡¯m not used to.

    Thest we time we talked, he told me that he hated me and that he would never forgive me.

    Could something have changed in the course of time?

    I finish up, just as Mary walks into the door with Iris in her arms.

    ¡°Are you ready to try again with Iris?¡± Mary asks as she puts my daughter in my arms.

    Yesterday, we tried getting Iris totch on, but it was difficult. It¡¯s like she was so used to the bottle that

    she found the idea of my breast foreign. To be honest, I am just d that I had milk, I didn¡¯t mind trying

    until she got used to me.

    Yes, please

    Releasing my boob, I try to get her totch. I sigh in relief when she finally does and begins to suck.

    kat her. She looks like look Week

    It feels so nice to have her feed from me. I know that I¡¯ve only known her for a day, but I already feel my

    bond with her. The same bond I have with Noah. My mind may not remember when I carried her in my

    womb, but my heart knows she¡¯s mine.

    ¡°Are you excited about going home?¡± she asks as she packs Iris¡¯s stuff.

    Yesterday she filled me on everything concerning Iris. I am so grateful that she survived despite being a

    premature baby. So d that they took good care of her.

    ¡°I am.¡± I chuckle a little. ¡°Like I said, I¡¯m dying to sleep on my bed. It¡¯s way morefortable¡±

    Sheughs, but otherwise remains quiet. When she finishes, she excuses herself. Iris had fallen asleep,

    but I continue holding her. It¡¯s insane how much I don¡¯t want to be separated from her or Noah.

    I almost died ording to everyone. Actually, I fucking died because my heart stopped twice for a few

    seconds. It¡¯s sad to know that I would have been separated from my kids.

    I push those thoughts away just as Rowan and Noah walk into my room.

    ¡°Hi mom¡± Noahes straight to me and gives me a hug.

    ¡°Hey, my love¡± I kiss his cheeks, feeling happy and joyous.

    Rowan waits until we are done before he approaches me.

 Chapter 129

    Rowan smile at me. ¡°Flowers for a beautifuldy¡±

    He then surprises me when he bends down and kisses my cheek. I stare at his throat in shock. See what

    I mean when I say he¡¯s different?

    The Rowan I know, wouldn¡¯t be caught dead kissing me even if it¡¯s just a peck on the cheek. So this was

    at new development. One I wasn¡¯t sure I was ready.

    ¡°Thank you,¡± I shake my head to clear out the confusion.

    ¡°Are you ready to leave?¡±

    Noah gently takes Iris from my hands. He stares at her so adoringly. Like she lit up his world. While he

    whispers sweet nothings, Iris wakes up. Surprisingly, she doesn¡¯t cry. Just stares at her brother in

    fascination. I guess she is used to him.

    ¡°Yes. Everything¡¯s packed¡±

    ¡°Great, we¡¯ll make it home in time for dinner¡±

    He helps me out of the bed. Then he picks up our bags and we leave the room that has been my home

    for

    the past three months.

    Before leaving, I say goodbye to the doctors and nurses. Most of them were so teary. It touched my

    heart. to see them happy because I was finally leaving. They¡¯d thought I wouldn¡¯t wake up. For them, this

    is a

    freaking miracle.

    ¡°What about the bills? I pull Rowan¡¯s sleeves to catch his attention.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about that. It¡¯s already been taken care of that¡±

    He then takes my hand and we follow Noah who was walking ahead of us. I stare at our joined hands,

    Maybe this is all a dream. Because what in the twilight zone is this? Why does he keep holding my

    hand?

    Before I can think of pulling my hand from his, we get outside to the parking lot. The car wasn¡¯t that far.

    Noah gets in while still talking to his sister. Her eyes were fixed on him. It is as if she is actually listening

    to him.

    Where did Herbert go?¡± I ask Rowan after noticing the new driver.

    ¡°He took an early retirement, so we got someone else¡± he answers as he ushers me into the car.

    The moment we get in, the driver begins driving.

    The drive is silent. Well except for Noah who was still talking to his Iris. It¡¯s like we don¡¯t exist in his and

    Iris¡¯s world as he told her stories of all the things he has done and all they will do together once she¡¯s old

    enough.

    I¡¯m lost in thought as the drive flies by. Without even realizing it, we get home. It takes Rowan nudging

    me, for me toe back to myself.

    ¡°We¡¯re here¡± he says as he opens the door.

    Iris chooses that moment to start screaming her lungs out. I take her from Noah, but she still doesn¡¯t

    keep stop.

    ¡°Maybe she¡¯s hungry¡± I tell no one in particr.

    ¡°Just go on inside. I¡¯ll bring in the bags¡±

    I nod my head and step outside the door. I slowly start walking towards the huge mansion. It looks the

    same as always, but I can¡¯t help feeling like this wasn¡¯t my home anymore.

    I don¡¯t understand why I felt that way all over a sudden.

    When I get inside, things are different. The painting. The d¨¦cor. Everything. I stop dead in my tracks. As

    survey the entire ce. Something feels different, and not just because the house looks unrecognizable.

    Itcked a certain warmth. A kind of warmth that it had yesterday (or what my brain now considers to be

    yesterday)

    I continue taking hesitant steps. The feeling of being somewhere foreign intensifies. My mind told me this

    is my home though it¡¯s different, but my heart and soul didn¡¯t recognize it.

    Another bout of screaming from Iris pulls me from the weirdness I felt. I walk quickly till I get to the extra

    bedroom that was downstairs.

    What matters right now is feeding Iris. I can always figure out why something feels wrongter on.

 Chapter 130

    ¡°There is something I want to show you,¡± Rowan tells me as he walks into the guest bedroom.

    I

    I was already done feeding Iris, and now she was fast asleep. Quickly but gently, I pull my nipple from

    her

    mouth and cover up. Rowan is my husband. He has seen me naked hundreds of times, yet this felt

    different for some reason, especially with his eyes trained on my breast.

    ¡°They¡¯re darker than I remember,¡± he mumbles, almost to himself.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re nipples¡±

    I chuckle nervously, but don¡¯t say a word. This is the first time Rowan has ever said anything about my

    body. I don¡¯t know what to say or how to react to that.

    Even on the rare asion when we had sex, he managed to detach himselfpletely from the

    process. You see in the romance novels where the male lead worships the female lead¡¯s body? Or where

    he is

    really verbal about how sexy her body is? I never got that after Rowan and I got married.

    It wasn¡¯t bad, and at least I got off, even if it wasn¡¯t earth¨Cshattering, but I just always wanted more, you

    know? With Rowan, it is more like ¡®wham bam, thank you, ma¡¯am. As if that wasn¡¯t bad enough, he

    would

    jump in the shower the minute he pulled out of me. It¡¯s like he couldn¡¯t wait to get my scent from his skin.

    After the shower, he would either go to the office to work or leave the house entirely.

    There were no cuddles. No kisses. No soft touches or caresses. No sweet or dirty talk. Our sex was just

    that: sex. Swift, formic, andpletely unromantic.

    The only time I got what novels always talk about was when we first slept together and he thought I was

    I

    Emma. That was a long time ago. And over the years, he has proven that he isn¡¯t a bad sexual partner;

    it¡¯s

    just me he didn¡¯t want.

    ¡°Are you ready to see what I have to show?¡± he asks.

    I shake my head, pulling myself away from the memories. I mean, it¡¯s probably been months since we

    last slept together.

    ¡°Yes, sure¡±

    I

    I didn¡¯t want to leave Iris in the guest room, so I carry her with me.

    He leads us out of the room and towards the stairs.

    wanted to ask where my ring is.¡± I ask.

    It was cheap, but it was still mine. When we got married, there weren¡¯t any rings. Rowan didn¡¯t see a

    reason for them. I did though. I was a married woman and people needed to know that. I got myself a

    cheap one from a store and wore it since. Rowan never wanted one so he didn¡¯t wear one.

    ¡°They took it off when you arrived at the hospital, but it got lost somewhere in their storage.¡±

    I don¡¯t say a thing. I mean, it¡¯s a normal urrence. I will just get another er.

    ¡°Here we are,¡± he says, stopping outside one of the many bedrooms.

    He slowly opens the room, and I gasp.

    ¡°I know you would probably prefer if Iris sleeps in the master bedroom, but I thought it wouldn¡¯t hurt to

    have one of her own.¡±

    It was a baby girl¡¯s haven. The room was adorned with soft shades of pink and lc. The walls were at

    gentle pink blush, and different Disney princesses adorned them. Delicate lc curtains swayed in the

    evening breeze, and plush, rosy carpet covered the floor.

    The crib sat in the middle and was draped in pastel bedding in hues ofvender, with a charming ceiling

    mobile dangling above. Next to it was afortable¨Clooking rocking chair. To the far left was a white

    changing table with different animated cartoons drawn on it, and next to it was a baby pink wardrobe.

    There were also shelves adorned with adorable stuffed animals and storybooks, and on the floor were all

    manner of toys.

    ¡°Do you like it?¡±

    ¡°Oh my god, this is so beautiful. Thank you so much¡±

    I

    Mindful of Iris, and without really thinking, I hug him. I expected him to push me away like he normally

    would, but I¡¯m surprised when he reciprocates the hug.

    I don¡¯t know how and why he would do all this for another man¡¯s child when he hated me so much, but I

    am thankfully none the less.

    I let go of him and step away. ¡°When did you arrange this?¡±

    ¡°A few weeks ago. I wanted to help Noah take his mind off you and Iris being in the hospital, so I came

    up with the idea to prepare a room for Iris.¡±

 Chapter 131

    I walk Inside. The carpet feels so plush. It¡¯s like you¡¯re walking on clouds.

    I gently put Iris in her crib before picking up the baby monitor.

    Thank you. This means a lot.¡±

    He smiles. Rowan is really good¨Clooking, but when he smiles orughs, it takes his hotness to a whole.

    other level.

    I stare at him,pletely mesmerized. He has never smiled at me, and right now I just want to soak this

    up.

    ¡°Come, I think it¡¯s time for dinner. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ve missed home¨Ccooked food,¡± he gives me his hand I

    hesitantly ce mine on his.

    I

    I feel a spark just from touching him. A kind of thrill goes down my spine, and I can¡¯t say that I hate it.

    We get downstairs and find Noah already there. He was digging into his meal at the dining table. I take

    my seat and begin serving. Rowan was about to do the same when his phone rings. He stares at his

    phone before picking it up.

    ¡°Excuse me,¡± he tells us before standing up to leave.

    Before he walks out of the room, I hear him saying someone¡¯s name. The name Reaper doesn¡¯t ring a

    bell at all. Maybe it was one of his business partners. If it is, why would someone even name their child

    Reaper?

    I usually don¡¯t interfere with his work, but for some odd reason, I make a mental note to ask him of this

    Reaper person.

    *So, did you like Iris¡¯s room?¡± Noah asks after swallowing.

    ¡°I love it, baby,¡± I say. ¡°It¡¯s so pretty. You and your dad did an amazing job.¡±

    A woman I¡¯ve never seen walks out of the kitchen. She ces some fruits on the table before introducing

    herself.

    I¡¯m Teresa, ma¡¯am. If you need anything at all, just let me know.¡± I nod my head, and she swiftly leaves.

    ¡°Who¡¯s that woman, Noah?¡±

    She looked to be in her forties.

    Oh, she¡¯s Teresa. She cooks and cleans,¡± Noah says with a frown.

    guess he didn¡¯t hear Teresa introducing herself. And why would Rowan need a housekeeper? He knows!

    take care of everything around the house, including cooking. Maybe he hired her when I was in the

    hospital, right?

    I turn to Noah to ask him when Teresa was hired, only to find him still frowning.

    I

    ¡°Hey, what is it?¡± I ask. ¡°Why do you look upset?¡±

    He¡¯s quiet for a while, as if debating whether or not to tell me what was troubling him. Finally, he speaks.

    ¡°I found a note in my bag from a girl in our ss. She joined school around the time you were taken to

    the hospital.¡±

    ¡°What did the note say?¡±

    ¡°Just that she¡¯s happy that you¡¯re okay.¡±

    I frown, not really understanding what the problem with that was.

    ¡°Isn¡¯t that a good thing? She¡¯s being nice,¡± I ask him because I don¡¯t get why that would make him angry.

    ¡°It is, but Sierra is aplete pain in the butt,¡± his voice hardens as he says his name.

    This makes me curious. Noah is a pretty chilled boy and is pretty friendly and open. I¡¯ve never seen him

    like this.

    ¡°That¡¯s not a really nice thing to say about someone.¡±

    He groans in frustration. ¡°You don¡¯t get it, mom; Sierra just won¡¯t leave me alone. She keeps following

    me everywhere and wants to do everything I do. It¡¯s very frustrating.¡±

    I smile when I realize what is going on. It seemed like whoever this girl was had a crush on Noah. Only

    problem is that she¡¯s being pushy. She kind of reminded me of myself when I was younger and was

    obsessed with Rowan.

    ¡°You don¡¯t like her? Seems like she wants to be your friend¡±

    I think it¡¯s too early for me to tell him what is actually going on.

    ¡°Absolutely not. She¡¯s too loud and too pushy. She¡¯s always covered in scraps and mud or dirt, plus she

    doesn¡¯t act her age. She still, wears mickey Mouse¨Cprinted stockings.

    He says it with disgust in his voice. As if that¡¯s something totally horrific.

    didn¡¯t raise you to talk about others that way. All humor flees from me. ¡°She may be different, but that en¡¯t

    a bad thing and let me never ever find out that you said anything mean to her. There are ways you

    distance yourself without hurting her feelings, okay?¡±

    Noah is strong willed like his father. Once he dislikes something or someone, it¡¯s hard to change their

    feelings about it or them.

    7 just wish she¡¯d stop and stay away from me,¡± he says, sagging in his chair.

 Chapter 132

    Then tell her to, but do it in a kind manner, okay?¡±

    ¡°Okay¡±

    He goes back to eating, and soon he¡¯s done. He leaves the table and tells me he¡¯s going to have his bath

    before he sleeps.

    A few minutester, I¡¯m done with my dinner. I¡¯m exhausted, and I just want to sleep. I get up, just as

    Rowanes back.

    ¡°You¡¯re done?¡± he asks, sitting down.

    ¡°Yes¡­I wanted to check on Iris first, then go to sleep.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll be up in a few.¡±

    I nod my head and make my way to the master bedroom. It¡¯s right next to Iris¡¯s room. After making sure

    that she¡¯s asleep, I head to my bedroom.

    Deciding to soak my tired body first, I run myself a bath. I get in and just let my mind wander. Everything

    has been so confusing since I woke up. I want to believe that things changed, but I can¡¯t help but feel

    that

    something isn¡¯t right.

    Rowan¡¯s behavior is on top of the things I feel aren¡¯t right. Like, when did he change? And can I trust this

    new change in him, or am I bound to be more heartbroken than I already am?

    The way he¡¯s behaving right now is how I¡¯ve always wanted him to be, so why can¡¯t I trust him?

    I get out of the tub when the water gets cold. Wrapping my body in a towel, I go in search of something

    to

    wear. The closet and drawers are filled with clothes. Only problem is that they¡¯re all brand new. I

    recognize none of them.

    I take a red nightgown and put it on. After that, I go and check on both Iris and Noah. They were all

    asleep. I pass a clock in the hallway and realize that it¡¯s nine. I honestly didn¡¯t know that I stayed in the

    tub that long.

    I freeze when I go back to the room and find Rowan there. Forcing myself to unfreeze, I steadily walk

    towards the bed, pull the covers and get in. His eyes are on me the entire time.

    ¡°Why are all my clothes new?¡± I ask him.

    ¡°When you got pregnant, your old clothes obviously didn¡¯t fit, so you gave them away to charity. After

    them away and bought you new ones,¡± he says. ¡°I only bought a few to tide you over. You can buy more.

    nod my head. That made sense.

    ¡°And about my pregnancy, you said you¡¯d exin why I have a baby with another man.¡±

    Something passes in his eyes, but it¡¯s gone before I can decipher it.

    ¡°Can we talk about it some other time? I¡¯m tired and I just want to sleep

    and worn out. Like he

    I wanted to argue, but the way he looked caught my attention. He did look tired and worn hasn¡¯t slept in

    days or weeks.

    I nod my head in eptance and wait for him to leave. Only he doesn¡¯t. Instead he begins taking off his

    clothes. I watch unable to speak as he takes everything off until the only stitch of clothing remaining is

    his boxer.

    He starts walking towards the bed, and my mind unfreezes.

    ¡°Uh, what are you doing?¡± I ask nervously.

    He gets inside the bed. ¡°Sleeping¡±

    ¡°What? Here? in this bed?¡± I stammer.

    yes, is that a

    problem?¡±

    I gulp. ¡°We¡¯ve never slept in the same bed¡±

    And it was true, Like I said, we would have sex, then he¡¯d leave. We had separate bedrooms. So this is a

    first.

    Using the remote control, he turns off the lights.

    ¡°Well that¡¯s going to change. You¡¯re my wife. We should be sharing a bed¡±

    ¡°But¡­¡±

    He shushes me by turning me around and spooning me. My ass is right over his crotch, and his arm is

    wrapped tightly around my waist. It¡¯s not ufortable, but it¡¯s new, so I¡¯m tense.

    ¡°Will you just rx and sleep?¡± he whispers against the back of my neck, making me shiver.

    1 force myself to rx. Within minutes, he¡¯s out. I stay awake for hours, but eventually I fall asleep.

    hing was definitely going on because the Rowan I know would never sleep in the same bed as me,

    alone hold me like he is

    Just need to figure out what I¡¯m missing and what changed. The key to figuring that outy in my

    Jumbled mind. I have to get my memories back.

 Chapter 260

    I wake up sprawled on top of Rowan. His arm was wrapped tight around my waist, and half my body was

    on top of his

    Slowly, I lift my head from his chest. This was another new thing for us. The intimacy our position

    projected, you would think that we¡¯re in love. Only I knew the truth. There was love in our marriage yes,

    but it was one sided.

    I get up slowly. I didn¡¯t want to wake him up. I needed time to myself. Time to try and catch on to

    whatever the hell was happening. I feel like my life has been turned upside down since I woke up from

    thata.

    It has been two days, but those two days have been a rollercoaster of events. Now I was reeling from the

    rush. Not really sure if I should trust my eyes or my heart.

    I spot the bottle of milk on his bedside table.

    Iris woke up like three times. The first two times, I fed her. Thest time I remember him telling me to go

    back to sleep. That he would take care of her. I was tired so I didn¡¯t argue at al

    all.

    Putting on my bathrobe, I tip toe out of the room. I check on Iris and Noah before going downstairs. It

    was

    fairly early in the morning and given it was on a Saturday, Noah didn¡¯t have school today.

    I get to the kitchen only to find Teresa.

    ¡°Good morning, Madam¡± she greets with a smile while cleaning the counter top.

    I give her what I hope is a gentle smile ¡°Good morning too Teresa, and please call me Ava. Madam is too

    formal¡±

    ¡°Did you need something?¡± she stops and focuses on me, ready to do anything I asked her,

    ¡°No, but if I¡¯m not imposing, I¡¯d like to make breakfast for my family¡±

    Her smiles turns blinding and she rods her head.

    ¡°Not at all. I¡¯m sure Noah will be ecstatic. He keptining that I don¡¯t make his pancakes the

    mom does¡± she winks at me.

    way his

    I just chuckle, because I can totally see Noah saying that. My smile slips off my face when I think of how

    hard it must have been for him when I was in aa.

    Teresa excuses herself and I start working on making breakfast. For some weird reason it felt so strange

    Rowan rarely ate anything I cooked. He used to miss breakfast and dinner. The only time he would eat

    something I made was when Noah insisted we have a meal together. Even then he would take a few

    spoons and then dere that he was full.

    It used to hurt a lot. Knowing that he didn¡¯t want anything from me. It was like anything from me was

    polson. I soon got over it. It hurt, but I learned to live with it for the sake of Noah.

    I tried my hardest to shield Noah from the disrespect and disregard Rowan showed me. Noah thought

    we

    were happy and I would do anything to make sure he was. Including faking marital bliss.

    I

    Pushing those thoughts away, I focus on making breakfast.

    Who knows, maybe witnessing my almost death changed something inside Rowan. I love Rowan despite

    everything he has done to me and maybe this was our second chance at happiness.

    Minutester, I fling the flour to the side in frustration as I feel my eyes begin to tear. Why was this so

    goddamn hard?

    ¡°Hey, what¡¯s wrong?¡± Rowan¡¯s voicees from behind me.

    His arm wrap around my waist and he brings me to his chest. With his other hand he pushes my hair

    away.

    andys his chin on my shoulder.

    I would have surprises at this tender action if I weren¡¯t frustrated.

    ¡°I used to know how to make the kind of pancakes Noah likes like the back of my hand. Now I can¡¯t

    remember a damn thing! I can¡¯t remember the secret ingredient I used¡± I cry and hold on to the counter

    afraid that I¡¯d break down if I let go.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay, don¡¯t worry too much about it¡± he tries to calm me, but it¡¯s doesn¡¯t work.

    ¡°You don¡¯t get it¡± I wrench myself from his arms. ¡°It¡¯s not just that. I can¡¯t read the measurement either.

    Neither can I remember the how you like your coffee! Damn it! Even some words are a bit difficult for me

    read¡±

    I can stop myself from crying. I feel so useless. The things that used to be easy for me, now aren¡¯t. I find

    it harder to read numbers. Every time I tried looking at the measurement for the past thirty minutes, my

    mind bes jumbled.

    It¡¯s like my brain can¡¯tprehend what the hell I¡¯m seeing.

    ¡°Shss, it¡¯s okay Ava. Everything is going to be okay¡± he reassures me. ¡°Don¡¯t be too hard on yourself¡±

    He turns me around to face him. He is shirtless, wearing only a pair of sweatpants that hang low on his

    I swallow as a different kind of frustration starts humming inside me. I rip my eyes from his body and

    focus on his eyes.

    watch silently, unable to move as he bends his head. My breath hitches as his lips connect with mine.

    I gasp at the intensity of his kiss. That gives him the opportunity to slip his tongue inside. I get lost as our

    mouths mesh and our tongues tangle.

    One of his hands holds my waist while the other my neck. I hold on to his waist in a desperate attempt to

    stand up straight.

    1 get lost in the kiss. Get lost in his scent. Get lost in all that is Rowan wood. The moment was perfect

    and

    I thought nothing could ruin it. That is until I hear a strangled cry from behind us.

    I reluctantly stop kissing Rowan and turn around. My eyes sh with the teary ones of a woman I

    thought

    I¡¯d never see again.

    Emma

    What the hell was she doing in my house?

 Chapter 261

    I try to think, but nothing makes sense. Emma was back? How the hell was that even possible?

    When she left, she¡¯d sworn never toe back. Mother, Father, and Travis used to visit her, but she

    never

    came home. Not even for the holidays.

    In fact, my family used to go and spend Christmas with her. I never got invited. Before Noah was old

    enough to understand things, I used to spend Christmas alone. While my family went to be with Emma,.

    Rowan and Noah spent it with his family, and as usual, I wasn¡¯t invited.

    Seeing her here in my home is aplete shock. He used to tell me that if he ever got a chance, he

    would get back to Emma immediately. It confused me even more. If she was back, why the hell was

    Rowan kissing me? Why the hell was he still with me?

    I steppletely out of his hand. He curses, though I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s because I stepped away from him.

    or because Emma saw us kissing.

    Wrapping my hands around myself, I continue to stare silently at Emma. I try to push back the pain and

    hurt I¡¯ve endured during my marriage to Rowan.

    Sure, I might have hurt her when I slept with her boyfriends, but I¡¯ve paid dearly for that mistake. Her

    pain

    at losing Rowan is nothingpared to the ones Rowan, my family, and his family have put me through.

    ¡°Ava,¡± he calls my name in a hoarse voice.

    I shake my head. Walking around him, I start to head out of the kitchen just as Mother and Travis walk in.

    I ignore them and rush up the stairs.

    I get inside Iris¡¯s room and lock myself inside. She was still asleep. Careful not to make a sound, I slide

    down the door and put my head between my legs, I fight the tears that threaten to fall.

    Seeing them, especially Emma, just brought back the pain I¡¯ve tried to hide. The hurt I¡¯ve tried so

    desperately to move on from.

    A while ago, I¡¯d thought that this was a chance for me and Rowan to start over. Now? Now I¡¯m not so

    sure. Not when I know that his heart has always belonged to Emma. Not when she was back in our lives.

    Hearing footsteps approaching the door, I tense. They stop outside the room, and secondster, there is

    a gentle knock.

    I don¡¯t open. I don¡¯t want to face Rowan. I don¡¯t want to face any of them. Not yet, anyway.

    1+15 BONUS

    Ava, please open the door. His voice is pleading.

    I don¡¯t answer. I just needed a minute before I could face whatever was awaiting for me on the other.

    side. I¡¯m used to this. It shouldn¡¯t be affecting me like this.

    AVE

    ¡°Just give me a minute and I¡¯ll be out.¡± My volcees out stronger than I actually am.

    He whispers an okay, and then I hear him leave. I force back my emotions. I can deal with themter.

    When I feel moreposed, I leave the room and head to the master bedroom.

    I shower and then change. When I¡¯m done, I go back to Iris¡¯s room, only to find her awake and fussy. I

    change her diaper, then sit in the rocking chair and feed her.

    ¡°Morning Mom,¡± Noah walks into the room, rubbing his eyes, just as I¡¯m straightening up my top.

    I smile at him. ¡°Morning too, Noah.¡±

    ¡°Is she already awake? I was hoping to feed her.¡±

    1

    ¡°I already fed.¡±

    He looks around the room before his eyes finally settle on us. ¡°But I don¡¯t see a bottle.¡±

    Well, this is going to be awkward to exin. I swallow before starting.

    ¡°When she¡¯s with me, she doesn¡¯t need a bottle. I supply the milk for her,¡± I exin as best as I can.

    This is probably new to Noah. I mean, he has been the only child in both families for years. He has never

    been around babies or breast¨Cfeeding mothers.

    ¡°I¡¯m confused. Why doesn¡¯t she need a bottle when she¡¯s with you?¡±

    ¡°Because I breastfeed her,¡± I reply before asking quietly. ¡°Do you know what that means?¡±

    He shakes his head. ¡°No¡±

    ¡°It means your mom feeds her with milk from her breast¡± Rowan supplies, making us turn to him

 Chapter 262

    We hadn¡¯t even noticed that he¡¯d joined the room. He was leaning against the doorframe with his hands

    folded across his chest, which made his bicep bulge. He had a white V¨Cneck t¨Cshirt and ck jeans. His

    hsir was still wet and he was bare feet.

    eyes shooting

    ¡°You mean like a cow or those other animals I watch on the farm show?¡± Noah asks, his ey

    from me to Iris then to his dad.

    Irisy contentedly in my arms after belchingpletely unaware that we were discussing her and her

    modes of feeding.

    ¡°Yes. Exactly like that,¡± I replied with a smile.

    His eyes turn unfocused for a while before scrunching up in distaste.

    ¡°That¡¯spletely disgusting,¡± he says, taking a step back from me as if I were revolting. ¡°I think she

    ga

    would much rather have her bottle.¡±

    His eyes keep shifting from my chest to Iris.

    ¡°And what if you¡¯re not around? What happens then? Can we then use milk powder like I saw the nurses

    doing¡±

    ¡°No more milk powder, breast milk is good for her. If I¡¯m not around, I¡¯ll just pump some milk for her so

    whoever is with her can feed her¡±

    The look of disgust quickly changed. He stares at me in horror as if I just burned his x¨Cbox

    ¡°I¡¯m done. I don¡¯t want to hear anymore¡± he shakes his head before walking out of the door

    ¡°I think I just traumatized our son,¡± I tell Rowan, grinning. ¡°He will probably never want to hear the word.

    breast again

    Rowan chuckles. His voice deep and sexy. ¡°Give him a few years and he¡¯ll be singing a different tune.¡±

    I stand up and stare at him. ¡°Did you just imply what I think you implied¡±

    This time heughs. The sound of it doing something to me. He neverughs when he¡¯s around me, so I

    Just let it wash over me.

    ¡°He¡¯s a boy, and we both know how boys are when they reach their teenage years. He¡¯ll be jerking off to

    cut¨Coff pictures of half¨Cnaked women stashed under his bed soon enough.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m now the one who¡¯s traumatized.¡± I cringe, trying to get the image out of my mind. ¡°I so did not need

    I shake my head and face him. ¡°It makes me wonder if this is exactly what you did during your younger

    years

    Noment,¡± he smirks devilishly as he takes Iris from my arms.

    a

    Yap. He definitely did that when he was a teenager.

    ¡°Are you ready to meet them?¡± he asks, then proceeds to take my hand.

    I try to pull it away, but he holds firm. Eventually, I just give up.

    We get out of the room and walk down the stairs. We find all of them seated in the living room.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry we ambushed you like this. I just really wanted to see you¡± Mother says with tears swimming in

    her eyes.

    I¡¯m stunned by the emotion in their eyes. Well, all of them except for Emma. She was busy ring at

    Rowan and I¡¯s joined hands with nothing but contempt.

    I would have been happy. I should be happy. For the first in my life Travis and Mother looked caring

    towards me, but I couldn¡¯t bring myself. It¡¯s like all I felt for them was now dead and gone.

    I wasn¡¯t even happy to see them despite asking for them at the hospital.

    Instead of acknowledging her statement, I note the absence of one person.

    ¡°Where is Father? Is he still angry at me for what I did to Emma? He has her back, or does he just hate

    me. that much?¡± I ask bitterly.

    They¡¯ve never hidden their contempt for me. Especially Father. I ruined the rtionship of his precious

    Emma, so of course he hated me.

    They all stare at each other, something passing in their eyes. Right away, I sensed that something was

    wrong. By the pain radiating from them, it was something big.

    ¡°Your father passed away, sweetheart.¡± Mother answers in a broken whisper.

    I stare at them in shock. That couldn¡¯t be correct. I¡¯m sure I didn¡¯t hear right. Father couldn¡¯t be dead. It¡¯s

    just not possible.

 Chapter 263

    ¡°Say something, Ave, Travis says in an almost pleading tone.

    I just stare at them. I¡¯m not really sure what the hell to feel. Father and I have never gotten along. Especially after what happened between Rowan, Emma, and me. I would never wish that he was dead, but I also can¡¯t really say that I¡¯m sad.

    Does that make me a bad person? That the man I¡¯ve known as my father my entire life is dead, yet I don¡¯t feel any kind of sorrow?

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what to say,¡± I mumble, telling them nothing but the truth.

    Rowan guides me and helps me take a seat. We sit on opposite sides with the three people who are supposed to be my family members.

    I look at them, then shake my head in confusion. I used to feel a lot for them. Despite their cruelty, my love for them wasn¡¯t something that I could hide. Now, though, I feel nothing. The ce where my love for them used to reside ispletely empty. There is absolutely no trace of any feelings towards them.

    It makes me wonder what the hell happened. Why is it that I no longer feel anything for them?

    I watch Rowan from the corner of my eyes. I be even more confused by his sudden affection towards me.

    If there is someone who destroyed me, it¡¯s Rowan. His actions hurt more than everything''smy family has ever done to me.

    ¡®So why do you still love him, yet feel nothing for your family?¡®

    First of all, they¡¯re not my family. If what Rowan told me is true, then Nora and Theo are my parents. Second, I have no answer for that. I should hate Rowan for everything he¡¯s done to me, yet I didn¡¯t. I don¡¯t know why my love for him is still there while my love for my so¨Ccalled family is nonexistent.

    ¡°I¡¯m sure you have a lot of questions,¡± Mother says after a stretch of silence.

    ¡°How did he die? What happened? Was he sick?¡±

    He was a healthy man, but sometimes sickness just strikes without warning. Maybe that was what happened.

    ¡°He was shot,¡± Travis answers.

    Well, I did not see thating. At all. Of all the things I thought would cause his death, I never imaginedproceeded to tell me everything that happened and how father ended up dying. When they¡¯re done, feeling from the information overload.

    I let me get this straight lean forward and look at Rowan Dad convinced you to enter into a deal with this Reaper guy, then he turned against them, and in retaliation, he ordered a hit on Yap That¡¯s pretty much the answers

    Ins begins hissing, so I take her from Rowan. Laying her gently on my chest, she calms down. It still surprises me how we¡¯ve managed to bond. It was so easy and so effortless.

    ¡°Reaper,¡± I murmur ¡°I heard you mention him yesterday.¡±

    Mother, Travis, and Emma¡¯s looks turn frosty.

    ¡°Turns out you are friends with the bastard that killed my father,¡± Emma snapped

    I feel myself getting angry at her damn attitude. She hasn¡¯t talked much, but the little she has, she¡¯s been nothing but nasty. Not to mention the hateful looks she kept throwing my way

    ¡°I¡¯m sure I had my reasons for being friends with him, and if you don¡¯t like it, there¡¯s the door. You can see yourself out.¡± My voice is cold even to my own ears as I spear Emma with a look before turning to Mother and Travis. ¡°Both of you too.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re just saying that because it wasn¡¯t your dad that was killed Emma doesn¡¯t back down, but neither do I !"

 Chapter 264

    Like I¡¯ve been told multiple times, you aren¡¯t my family, so he wasn¡¯t my father. Despite the fact that that

    man treated me like a damn abomination, I would never wish him harm, and besides, he should have

    had them Investigated before entering into a contract with them.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯re saying it¡¯s his own fault he¡¯s dead?¡± Travis asks between clenched teeth.

    I shrug. ¡°What the hell did you expect? You don¡¯t betray a criminal organization and expect to walk away

    happily.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t believe you would say that,¡± Mother whispers, fighting back tears.

    I

    ¡°And I can¡¯t believe you¡¯re here. What are you even doing here? I would have expected you three to be

    praying for my painful death.¡± I retort with bitterness in my tone

    else was i

    I¡¯m surprised at the wordsing out of my mouth. This isn¡¯t really like me. It¡¯s like someone else total

    control of my body. I couldn¡¯t stop the venomous words that were pouring out of my mouth.

    in

    Emma stands up in a fluff of anger, throwing her hands in the air. ¡°I told you. I tried warning you. She¡¯s

    still

    a fucking bitch, even with her memories gone.¡±

    pure fury

    ¡°Emma¡± Rowan growls, standing up. His face was contorted in pure

    Before any of us can do anything, we are all surprised when we see a fast movement before Emma is

    shoved back. She falls on the couch, luckily. Though I wouldn¡¯t have shed a tear if she fell on the floor.

    ¡°Don¡¯t you ever talk to my mom like that again.¡± Noah screams at her, his fist firmly on his side.

    This startles Iris, and I try to soothe her before she can burst out crying.

    Noah looked ready tomit murder.

    The way he looked at her with so much hate let me know that there was something more to this. It wasn¡¯t

    just because Emma was rude to me.

    ¡°Noah¡­¡± mother tries to say something, but Noah cuts her off.

    ¡°No!¡± Noah shouts angrily. ¡°You just sat there as your daughter disrespected my mom.¡±

    ¡°Ava wasn¡¯t nice to her either,¡± Travis tries to justify.

    ¡°And you have never been kind to her either,¡± he breathes. ¡°It took some time, but after what Grandpa

    Theo said at the hospital, things started making sense in my head. You¡¯ve never liked my mom and

    made sure to treat her badly.¡±

    you

    They all freeze. I don¡¯t know what the hell happened, but it looks like Noah came to some realizations on

    his own.

    Noah, it¡¯s okay.¡±

    What they did to me wasn¡¯t okay, but this was my battle. Not his. I would never drag him into whatever

    was wrong between them and me. He loved Mother and Travis. I would never get in the way of that.

    ¡°No, it is not,¡± he clips. His stance and his mannerism remind me so much of his father.

    He is, after all, his father¡¯s son.

    ¡°You have two options: either you y nice or get out of our house.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t mean that, Noah,¡± Mother says with a teary frown.

    ¡°Yes, I do,¡± he growls. ¡°No one, and I mean no one, hurts my mom. You get that?¡±

    I didn¡¯t know whether to be proud of him or scared of his forceful nature. I just hope that one day it won¡¯t

    be a problem.

    They all nod. For Mother and Travis, it¡¯s because they would do anything for Noah, but for Emma, it¡¯s

    because she didn¡¯t have a choice.

    Her eyes kept swinging to Rowan, meaning she was agreeing because of him. I don¡¯t know how to feel

    I

    about that because she was still clearly in love with him, and part of me is afraid that the feeling is

    mutual.

 Chapter 265

    It¡¯s been a few hours since Noah went off on the three unwanted guests. They were now outside in the

    back, enjoying the sun. Noah seems to have calmed down, but I knew him well. He was sharp. His gaze

    remained on them, scrutinizing, as if he were waiting for them to put a foot wrong.

    Iris was currently sleeping in her room, and I was in the kitchen trying to catch my breath. Mother and

    Travis kept trying to hold Iris, but for some reason my heart just wasn¡¯t in agreement with that.

    That wasn¡¯t even the main thing that bothered me. It was Emma¡¯s disregard for me and my feelings. Her

    I get that I did her wrong when I slept with Rowan, but Rowan is now my husband. It shouldn¡¯t bother me

    that she¡¯s trying to get close to him. Giving him coy and seductive smiles. Swinging her hips when she

    walks by him. Brushing against him when she¡¯s near him. I didn¡¯t want to be jealous, but I am.

    I am angry andpletely pissed at her tant behavior. Sure, Rowan res at her and walks away

    when

    he notices her behavior, but I can¡¯t help but think that it¡¯s just a show.

    The way she behaves lets me know that she¡¯s been back for a while. That and also that they may have

    gotten together for a while. Maybe before I was shot.

    I keep thinking that maybe Rowan is just trying to be respectful. He is a public figure and heads one of

    thergestpanies in the city. It wouldn¡¯t really look great if he¡¯s seen entertaining another woman

    immediately after his wife wakes up from aa..

    News of me being alive and waking up from thea had leaked. He was probably just biding his time

    as

    things settled before he asked for a divorce and got back to Emma.

    ¡°Hey, are you okay?¡± His voice startles me, making me jump.

    ¡°Um, yeah,¡± I mumble, avoiding his gaze.

    I was so conflicted about him. I didn¡¯t know what to think or feel. Part of me thought that maybe this was

    a second chance. That, with his new behavior, he was finally ready to ept me. The other part, though,

    was afraid of hoping.

    ¡°Do you want me to ask them to leave?¡±

    ¡°If you don¡¯t mind¡± I sigh in relief. ¡°I feel like I¡¯ve reached the limit of my tolerance¡±

    They¡¯ve been here since morning. They¡¯ve had breakfast and lunch with us. I just feel like it was time for

    them to leave.

    Besides, my head was already pounding. I¡¯ve had enough of watching Mother and Travis try to be sweet

    to me and watching Emma shamelessly throw herself at Rowan.

    ¡°As you wish,¡± he pulls me towards him and ces a gentle kiss on my temple.

    After letting me go, he walks back outside. A minuteter, they all walk back inside.

    ¡°Rowan tells us you¡¯re not feeling well, are you okay?¡± Mother asks with concern.

    Do you see this? This is what I don¡¯t get. They used to hate me so much, so where was all this concern

    coming from? Why are they now so nice to me? Was it because of the ident?

    I think I get Rowan¡¯s behavior. Sure, he wasying it on a little bit too thick, but we were used to

    pretending in front of Noah.

    ¡°Yeah, I have a headache.¡± I reply as I watch Emma closely. She could at least try to be subtle while

    looking at Rowan hungrily.

    I turn to Rowan. ¡°Isn¡¯t Noahing in?¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s asked to stay outside for a little bit,¡± he answers. ¡°He has already said his goodbyes.¡±

    I just nod my head. Aside from video games, Noah also loves the outdoors.

    ¡°Well, we¡¯ll get going.¡± Travis says after a while.

    Hees to me and hugs. Mother does the same. The hug is awkward to say the least and I¡¯m sure we

    all felt that.

    Emma doesn¡¯t say goodbye to me. Instead, she steps forward and ces a kiss on Rowan¡¯s lips right in

    front of me.

    My mouth hangs open as I stare at her, unable to think straight.

    ¡°Bye. I hope we can see each other soon.¡±

    Everyone looks in shock at her audacity. Rowan pushes her away, and she almost falls, but Travis

    catches

    her.

    ¡°What the fuck is wrong with you?¡± He booms, clearly angry and fed up with her. +

    She looks a bit taken aback, but she soonposes herself.

    ¡°What did I do?¡±

    ¡°Are you out of your goddamn mind? Ava is standing right beside me, and you decide to kiss me?¡±

    was furing. I could feel the anger as it rolled off Him in waves.

    It was clear that Emma wanted to hurt me. That she wanted to witness as my heart broke. Everyone

    knew

    was in love with Rowan. She knew kissing him would hurt me.

 Chapter 266

    So what?

    He grabe her arms and shakes her. ¡°So what?¡± he fumes. ¡°She¡¯s my wife. My wife and you¡¯ve been

    nothing

    but rude and disrespectful to her the entire fucking time¡±

    ¡°Rowan¡± Travis tries to step in, but mother stops him.

    I honestly don¡¯t understand why she did it. She was always on team Emma. My feelings be damned.

    Emma always came first, and what Emma wanted, she got.

    ¡°Your wife?¡± she scoffs. ¡°She¡¯s nothing but a hoe who stole you from me, and as if that wasn¡¯t enough,

    she trapped you when she got pregnant. You belong with me, Rowan. I¡¯m the one you love, remember?¡±

    I don¡¯t hear what he says next because I walk out of the kitchen. I waspletely fed up. I also didn¡¯t

    want to hear it if he did say he loved her.

    It isn¡¯t a damn secret that he does. Yes, he¡¯s attentive right now, and he even gave me a kiss or two, but

    his heart has always belonged to Emma. She is right. Rowan belonged to her mind, heart, and soul.

    When I get to the master bedroom, I immediately enter the bathroom. I needed to catch my breath. I feel

    like all these shouldn¡¯t bother me, but it did. A lot.

    Once I feel like I¡¯m more in control, I leave the bathroom. I stop in my tracks when I find Rowan seated

    on

    the bed.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry about Emma¡¯s behavior¡± he looks up at me. ¡°She shouldn¡¯t have kissed me in front of you¡±

    I don¡¯t get why he was apologizing for her. It¡¯s not like he is responsible for her behavior.

    I shrug tiredly. ¡°It¡¯s not your fault, she loves you so I guess it¡¯s just hard for her to stay away from you.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not¡­¡±

    I cut him off before he could finish his sentence.

    ¡°Look, I know you¡¯ve been separated for years, but please tell her to tone it down. Thest thing I want is

    things to him.¡±

    Noah finding out before we can exi

    ¡°What the hell are you talking about?¡±

    I

    ¡°You and Emma obviously. I know that now that she¡¯s back you¡¯ll want to be with her and I promise! won¡¯t

    stand in the way, but just give me time to get used to things.¡± I pause. ¡°On that matter, I think we

    go back to how things were. No more kissing me and we shouldn¡¯t sleep in the same bed.¡±

    should

    see anger sh in his eyes before he stands up and walks to me.

    Why the hell would stop kissing you?¡±

    Glering at him, I take a step back, but he advances on me.

    ¡°Because of Emma, of course.¡±

    ¡°Emma means absolutely nothing to me.¡±

    I scoff. This is the same man who has professed his undying love for her over the years. Does he really

    expect me to believe him?

    ¡°You don¡¯t believe me,¡± he states as a matter of fact, all the anger drains from his face.

    ¡°No¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Isn¡¯t it obvious? You¡¯ve held on to her for years. You hurt and punished me for the part I yed in your

    losing her. You¡¯ve told me over and over again that I will never be the woman you desire because she

    owns your heart. Of course I find it hard to believe that you suddenly want me and not her.¡±

    It¡¯s painful for me to rehash everything, but I must show him just how absurd he wounds. Waking up from

    thea, thening into contact with this new version of him, threw me off my axis.

    Now that I¡¯ve seen Emma though, I¡¯m reminded of every hurtful thing he¡¯s ever flung my way. It has

    reminded me that this is all an illusion. People don¡¯t suddenly change.

    I watch as the fight leaves himpletely.

    ¡°You¡¯ve lost your memory of the past five years Ava. Things changed. I changed. My attitude and

    feelings

    towards you changed¡±

    my hand.

    I want to argue, but I see the truth in his eyes. I continue studying. I know Rowan like the back of

    Yes, he¡¯s telling me the truth about things changing, but there is also something he¡¯s hiding from me.

    ¡°I just don¡¯t know if I can trust you/You nailed it in my head that I¡¯ll never be good enough for you. It¡¯s

    hard to reconcile the you I knew and who you are now.¡±

    Pulling me close to him, I feel as my heart rate begins to pick up. Being this close to him was a dream I

    never thought was possible.

    He ces gentle kisses on my forehead, cheeks, and finally my lips.

    swear, I¡¯ll prove to you that I have changed and I want no one else.¡±

    just nod my head. I hope he did, because I don¡¯t know how I would survive if it all turned out to be

    nothing but an illusion.

 Chapter 267

    Emina

    I hated every moment of being at Rowan¡¯s house. I hated seeing Ava act as if Rowan was still her

    husband. I mean,e on, amnesia? You¡¯ve got to be kidding me.

    It pissed me even more that Rowan was so fucking attentive to her. He was mine. He is still mine, and I

    refuse to let him go.

    When he shouted at me after I kissed him, itpletely shocked me. Rowan has never raised his voice

    at me. It makes me wonder if, indeed, he was done with me. It made me wonder if he actually loved Ava.

    e past

    I shake my head at that. That couldn¡¯t be possible. Everyone told me that he hated her. That for the nine

    years, he has done nothing but hurt her because of breaking us up. So how could he be in love with her

    all of a sudden? It just didn¡¯t make any sense.

    ¡°Miss?¡± the chauffer calls.

    It was only after looking up at him that I realized that we were already home and that Mom and Travis

    had already left the car.

    Don¡¯t even get me started on how mad I am at those two¡­

    They were fawning over the bitch like puppies starved of affection. They even wanted to hold her little

    bastard baby. Not to mention how quick they were to listen to that brat, Noah. As if his opinion of them

    was important.

    I mean, what the actual hell is wrong with them?

    I get into the house fuming. Ready to rip into them. They were my fucking family, yet they treated me like

    an outsider. Ava used to be nothing to them. She was the damn enemy, and now all of a sudden

    everyone was on her fucking side.

    ¡°What the hell was that at Rowan¡¯s house?¡± I shout at them as I enter.

    Travis was seated while Mom stared out of therge windows. Through her reflection, I could tell she

    wasn¡¯t happy with me. The feeling was mutual.

    She turns, her face a mask of anger. ¡°I could ask you the same thing.

    ¡°This isn¡¯t about me.¡± I snap. ¡°It¡¯s about your behavior towards Ava. She¡¯s not part of this family, so why

    the hell are you kissing her damn feet? We should be celebrating that she¡¯s out of our damn lives!¡±

    Emma

    NOTH

    I hated every moment of being at Rowan¡¯s house. I hated seeing Ava act as if Rowan was still her

    husband. I mean,e on, amnesia? You¡¯ve got to be kidding me.

    It pissed me even more that Rowan was so fucking attentive to her. He was mine. He is still mine, and I

    refuse to let him go.

    When he shouted at me after I kissed him, itpletely shocked me. Rowan has never raised his voice

    at me. It makes me wonder if, indeed, he was done with me. It made me wonder if he actually loved Ava.

    I shake my head at that. That couldn¡¯t be possible. Everyone told me that he hated her. That for the past

    nine years, he has done nothing but hurt her because of breaking us up. So how could he be in love with

    her all of a sudden? It just didn¡¯t make any sense.

    ¡°Miss?¡± the chauffer calls.

    It was only after looking up at him that I realized that we were already home and that Mom and Travis

    had already left the car.

    I

    Don¡¯t even get me started on how mad I am at those two..

    They were fawning over the bitch like puppies starved of affection. They even wanted to hold her little

    bastard baby. Not to mention how quick they were to listen to that brat, Noah. As if his opinion of them

    was important.

    I mean, what the actual hell is wrong with them?

    I get into the house fuming. Ready to rip into them. They were my fucking family, yet they treated me like

    an outsider. Ava used to be nothing to them. She was the damn enemy, and now all of a sudden

    everyone. was on her fucking side.

    ¡°What the hell was that at Rowan¡¯s house?¡± I shout at them as I enter.

    Travis was seated while Mom stared out of therge windows. Through her reflection, I could tell she

    wasn¡¯t happy with me. The feeling was mutual.

    She turns, her face a mask of anger. ¡°I could ask you the same thing.¡±

    ¡°This isn¡¯t about me.¡± I snap. ¡°It¡¯s about your behavior towards Ava. She¡¯s not part of this family, so why

    the hell are you kissing her damn feet? We should be celebrating that she¡¯s out of our damn lives!¡±

    Chaled Ava so much: She took so much away from me. She took the one person that was important to

    (ne and now she was doing it all over again. Now she was also taking away my family. My support

    system. The same people who stood by me when I got my heart broken.

    ¡°Is that why you tried seducing Rowan right in front of our eyes?¡± Travis asks with a sneer.

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t seducing him. I was simply staking my im.¡±

    Momughs, but the sound is humorless. It¡¯s cold andpletely void of any emotion.

    I

    She then turns and ps me. I didn¡¯t expect it, so I stumbled back a little. I face her in surprise. My

    hands are on my throbbing cheek. This is the second time she¡¯s pped me.

    ¡°You were behaving like a cheap whore. A slut,¡± her lips are curled in disgust as she stared at me.

    I

    I continue staring. I can¡¯t believe that she would call me that. She knew I was in love with Rowan, so why

    would she call what I did whoring?

    ¡°I don¡¯t think you took what I told you seriously,¡± she says after a while. ¡°Three months and you still

    haven¡¯t patched things up with Calvin, nor have you seen Gunner. I¡¯m getting sick and tired of your

    foolish behavior.

    I tried telling them that I wanted nothing to do with Gunner, but they wouldn¡¯t listen. What did she expect

    me to do? Just do as she says, even if it¡¯s something I don¡¯t want.

    ¡°Now, you¡¯re going to do as I said Emma or I swear on your father¡¯s grave that you¡¯ll be out of this house

    and my life before you can even blink.¡±

    She turns to leave and then stops. ¡°One more thing: stay away from Rowan.¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t ask me to do that,¡± I shout at her, frustration fueling me. ¡°I love him.¡±

    I can and will do anything she asks me except for that.

    She looks me up and down with a look I¡¯ve never seen directed at me.

 Chapter 268

    In case you haven¡¯t noticed, his feelings aren¡¯t mutual,¡± she says, ¡°You will not stand in his way of

    Winning Ava, end that is a warning. We coddled you without realizing we¡¯re turning you into an entitled

    brat, That ends today. You¡¯re thirty, for heaven¡¯s sake, grow the fuck up.¡±

    Both Travis and I stare at Mom in shock. She has never, and I mean, never cursed.

    With that, she leaves the room. We hear her footsteps, and she climbs up the stairs before a door bangs

    in the distance.

    I turn to Travis. He¡¯s my big brother. He¡¯s always had my back against Ava.

    ¡°Please tell me you don¡¯t think and feel the same as mom,¡± I plead as tears fill my eyes.

    He couldn¡¯t also be against me. He has always been my pir of strength. I don¡¯t know what I¡¯d do if he

    also turned his back on me.

    but mom is right

    I¡¯m sorry, Emma, You¡¯re a grown¨Cup. You have a child and responsibilities, yet you¡¯re chasing a man

    who no longer wants you. You¡¯re still living in the past, not realizing that everyone else has moved on

    and moved forward. You have to let go of Rowan. His heart no longer beats for you¡±

    Getting angry at his words, I shove him hard. ¡°How would you know that? How do you know he doesn¡¯t

    love me? I know he does. Deep down, I know he loves me.¡±

    ¡°I know because he¡¯s my best friend,¡± he pauses, and then continues gently. ¡°He himself also told me

    that he loves Ava. He wants her.¡±

    My heart shatters, and I begin to shake my head. I try wiping the tears from my face, but they just keep

    falling down.

    This can¡¯t be happening. Rowan can¡¯t love Ava. I was back. Everything was supposed to fall into ce.

    We were supposed to continue where we left off. He was supposed to be with me. To want me. To love

    me. Not Ava. Never Ava.

    I

    ¡°You¡¯re lying.¡± I whisper.

    ¡°I¡¯m not,¡± he says, trying to pull me into his arms, but I step back. ¡°Deep down, you know I¡¯m not lying.

    You¡¯ve felt the shift in him, but you¡¯re fighting it because you don¡¯t want to ept that he no longer

    wants.¡±

    Why the hell did it feel like my heart was breaking? Like my soul was being ripped apart? The pain this

    time was much worse than it was when I found out Rowan had slept with Ava.

    4+15 BONUS

    Back then, It hurt, but I knew deep down that he still loved me. That I was always his choice. This time,

    Though, ¡®s different. I¡¯m not his choice. Instead, he is choosing the woman who tore us apart in the first

    ce

    I turn around and begin walking out of the door. Travis calls my name, but I ignore him. He was thest

    person I wanted to talk to today,

    I immediately call Molly. She picks up immediately.

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong, babes?¡± she asks, sensing my emotional state.

    ¡°Travis.¡± I stammer his name, ¡°He told me that Rowan doesn¡¯t want me.¡±

    I hear her sigh on the other end. ¡°I told you this before, but you wouldn¡¯t believe me. From what you¡¯ve

    told me, I tried telling you that his concern for Ava went much deeper than just worrying over the mother

    of his son.¡±

    I hated hearing her confirm this, I didn¡¯t want Ava with Rowan. She broke us apart. I can¡¯t simply let her

    win. I can¡¯t let her take Rowan from me.

    ¡°So, what can I do?¡± I ask anxiously, running my hand through my hair. ¡°How do I get him back?¡±

    ¡°There is nothing you can do, Emma. Just let him go. His heart no longer belongs to you,¡± she says

    kindly, but I¡¯m not having it. Seems like she was also on the Rowan and Ava ship.

    ¡°That is not a fucking solution!¡± I fling my phone across the front yard and watch it as it smashes against

    the fountain.

    I felt like I was going crazy. Like my world was being turned upside down all over again. I felt so alone.

    Angrily, I wipe my tears. I¡¯m not giving up on Rowan, but for now I needed to let out my frustrations.

    There

    is only man for that job. Calvin.

 Chapter 269

    as hell. Honestly, I salute all the single mothers out there. Being a single parent isn¡¯t easy at all. copse

    on the couch, feeling drained. It had been a busy morning. With having to do all the chores and

    everything. Gunner helped, but I had to take him to football practice today.

    He didn¡¯t want to go, and he was pretty clear on that. It¡¯s not that I was forcing him into a sport he didn¡¯t

    like; It¡¯s just that he knew that Noah wouldn¡¯t be present like he usually is.

    I made him understand why. Ava woke up, so of course Noah would want to be around her. I¡¯m sure it

    will be like that for a while. He¡¯ll stop being clingy after being assured that Ava isn¡¯t going anywhere.

    Gunner finally understood, and he epted to go only if I promised that we would make arrangements to

    visit her soon.

    He was bummed out when he learned that Ava, Noah, and Iris wouldn¡¯t be returning to their house next

    to

    ours.

    My mind drifts to Ava. I feel fucking horrible that thest time we talked, I walked out on her all because I

    felt a sting after she rejected me. Thinking about it now, I get where she wasing from. After what

    Rowan did to her, it would have been stupid to enter into a rtionship with yet another man who was in

    love with Emma.

    She was also right. I was still in love with Emma, even though she has broken my heart more times than

    I could count. You just don¡¯t get over more than a decade of love. I was looking for someone to ease the

    pain. A rebound¡­and we all know that rebound rtionships never end well.

    Ava weed me. She became my friend. She embraced me because she fucking understood my pain.

    She understood how painful it is to love someone who could never love you back.

    Instead of appreciating her, I became like most other people in her life. I pushed her away because I

    didn¡¯t get my way. And now she doesn¡¯t even remember me

    That¡¯s what fucking hurts. That I could lose her for good because she doesn¡¯t remember me, and she

    may just decide that she doesn¡¯t want to get to know me.

    Sighing I get up and head to the kitchen. I was hungry, but honestly, I felt toozy to cook anything.

    Maybe

    I should order takeout. It would be easier, and I wouldn¡¯t have dishes to clean.

    I just finished ordering when my doorbell rang.

    delivery guy couldn¡¯t be that fast.

    My blows pull together. I don¡¯t really have a lot of friends because I prefer solitude, so I wonder who was

    Fat the door.

    Ipad to the door and wrench it open. My heart stops when Ie face to face with the beautiful face of

    Emme

    Before I can react, she pushes me inside and starts kissing me. I hear the door close as she walks me

    backwards, her lips and mine locked.

    can¡¯t think. I can only feel¡­ and what I feel is her lips on mine and her soft palms on my skin.

    ¡°Where is your bedroom?¡± she asks with a voice full of desire. ¡°I need you right now, Calvin. I need to

    feel you inside me.¡±

    I was about to grab her hips and haul her up on my body when her next words stopped me.

    ¡°Is Gunner around? I hope not; I don¡¯t want to see him, and I don¡¯t want him interrupting us,¡± she

    whispers breathlessly.

    I stop kissing her and push her away from me as Ie back to my senses.

    Fuck. I can¡¯t believe that I fell for her tricks again and almost fucked her.

    This is always the pattem. She¡¯lle to me when she needs to scratch an itch. When she wants to be

    fucked. She¡¯ll use me. Use my body. Then she¡¯ll walk out like it meant nothing. Like, I meant nothing.

 Chapter 270

    hell did you stop?¡± she looks at me questioningly as if she didn¡¯t understand.

    you really have the nerve to ask me that?¡± I growl, feeling fed up with the way she treats me. ¡°Get out¡±

    ¡°No. I¡¯m not leaving. Not until you tell me what I have done¡±

    Damn. Was she really clueless, or was she just ying dumb? I can¡¯t believe that she would even ask

    me

    that. Didn¡¯t she see anything wrong with what she was doing? Or how she¡¯s treating me?

    ¡°Calvin¡± she calls and goes to take my hand. I step back and re at her,

    I am disgusted in myself. I can¡¯t believe I¡¯ve allowed her to treat me and Gunner like shit for years.

    ¡°Tell me one thing¡± I take a deep breath. ¡°Do you love me?¡±

    She looks at me for a split second before she looks away, It fucking hurt. So much, but that was the

    confirmation I needed.

    ¡°Do you feel anything for me apart from lust?¡± My voice is thick and strained, even to my own years,

    I have never asked her this. Never asked her directly if she cared for, I shouldn¡¯t have, because it¡¯s clear

    that she doesn¡¯t.

    ¡°What about our son?¡±

    I can handle anything. If she doesn¡¯t fucking love me, I can deal with that. What I can¡¯t deal with is her

    refusing to love Gunner. He wasn¡¯t a stranger, or a boy I adopted. He was her fucking son, yet she

    refused

    to acknowledge that.

    My heart continues to break when she remains silent. The silence between us speaks louder than any

    word that would ever be uttered.

    ¡°I¡¯m fucking talking to you.¡± Grabbing her chin forcefully. I make her look at me. ¡°Do you care about us?¡±

    Her eyes fill with tears as she stares at me with an emotion I can¡¯tprehend. Her tears would move

    me before, but not anymore.

    I am just fucking tired. Tired of being just a warm body that she uses on asion to get off.

    Sighing, I release her as if she¡¯d burned me. I was fighting my emotions, and I was precariously close to

    losing my shit.

    Fuck, why does it hurt so badly?

    er, grounding my teeth against the pain that was threatening to swallow me whole.

    Fdon¡¯t give her the chance to finish her sentence.

    ¡°Fucking leave my goddamn house, Emma, before I say or do something I¡¯ll regret.¡± I yell, the need to

    shake her filling my bones.

    How can she not see the pain she¡¯s causing me? Causing Gunner¡­Or is it that she just doesn¡¯t care

    that

    she¡¯s hurting us?

    ¡°Please just listen to me.¡±

    ¡°So that you can spew bullshit? Or is it so you can manipte me in order to get me to sleep with you?¡± I

    try to calm myself down. ¡°You¡¯re a selfish little bitch, and I am done letting you y games with mine and

    my son¡¯s hearts. Get out of our lives, Emma. We don¡¯t need you. We never have, and we never will.¡±

    ¡°You and I are done. I don¡¯t want you anywhere near me or Gunner. I hope the fucking love you held on

    to for Rowan keeps you warm at night when you¡¯re lonely and he¡¯s with Ava. She¡¯s a woman you¡¯ll never

    measure up to, and I hope you feel the same pain you¡¯ve put me through when you see her with Rowan.

    Now get out of my fucking house.¡±

    With that, I grab her hand and kick her out of my house and life.

    Ava was right. I deserve better than Emma. It was time I let go of my love for her because she wasn¡¯t

    worth it.

    From now on, she means nothing to me. She could rot in hell for all I care.

 Chapter 271

    Ave

    I wake with a start. I don¡¯t know what startled me. Maybe it was a dream or a memory. I¡¯m not sure. It

    was vague, and the images weren¡¯t clear.

    I detangle myself from Rowan and sit up. One name kept ringing in my head.

    Ethan.

    Was it someone I knew? Someone I should know? Was he important to me somehow? The questions

    were endless as I tried to figure out who the hell he was.

    Our bedroom was lit by the moon. It cast an eerie atmosphere. Especially since I woke up shaken by

    whatever it was that gued my mind. I turn the lights on still. Trying to chase away the goosebumps.

    ¡°Ava, is something wrong?¡± His sleepy voice makes me turn to him.

    He looked really sexy. His eyes were sleepy, and his hair was disheveled Plus, his chest was totally bare.

    I swallow as I continue salivating over him. Rowan is a sexy and hot masterpiece. There was no denying

    that.

    ¡°Ava?¡± he calls, bringing me back from my thoughts.

    Should I tell him? It¡¯s been a couple of days since I woke up, and the feeling that he¡¯s hiding something

    from me still persists.

    I don¡¯t know why, but my heart tells me that whoever Ethan is, Rowan doesn¡¯t really like him. Everything

    was going so smoothly between us. I was afraid of messing it all up.

    My mouthpresses so as to stop myself from blurting it all out. I was dying to know who this guy was

    and why his name filtered through the block that was keeping my memories from me.

    Rowan sits up in bed, then turns me so that we are face¨Cto¨Cface. His hand on my bare arms sends

    shivers down my back. It makes me think that I wouldn¡¯t mind his hands all over me. In fact, I would

    much prefer

    that.

    Taking a deep breath, I try to calm myself. Everything was still so new. I didn¡¯t really trust his affections

    for me, so it would be a mistake to jump into bed with him, though we do share a bed.

    Running my hand down my face, I decide toe clean with him. ¡°I just woke up from what I think is a

    body still next to mine, making me raise my brow at that.

    Do you remember what the memory was?¡± he asks, his voice a bit hesitant.

    And there it was. The reason why I think he¡¯s hiding something from me. That, or there is something he

    doesn¡¯t want me to remember.

    1 study him, but his face gives nothing away. Sighing, I shake my head.

    ¡°No, I don¡¯t remember what it was.¡± I hear him exhale, ¡°But one name kept ringing in my head.¡±

    He stills again. He was doing a really lousy job at trying to make it seem like he was detached. That,

    what

    I remembered, or the name didn¡¯t bother him at all.

    Sure, if you look at his cold grey eyes and his stoic face, you would believe that, but I know Rowan¡­

    and I know right now that he is tense for some reason.

    ¡°What name?¡±

    ¡°Ethan.¡± I pause and stare at my hands before looking back at him. ¡°Who is he? Do you know him?¡±

    Tension rolls off him in waves. He forces himself to rx, whichpletely fascinates me.

    always had control over his emotions, seeing him like this¡­ Fighting whatever was bothering him made

    him more human.

    I see it in his eyes. He¡¯s debating whether he should tell me something or not. Seeing this, I grasp his

    hands, which were fisted on top of the cover.

    ¡°Rowan, who is Ethan?¡±

    He takes a deep breath before exhaling.

    ¡°He¡¯s Iris¡¯s father.¡±

    The simple sentence leaves me in a state of shock. I couldn¡¯t believe my ears. I¡¯ve wondered who Iris¡¯s

    dad is since I woke up. Now I have the answer, but I don¡¯t know what to do with it.

    The mystery of how I got pregnant with another man still bothered me. I know myself, and I know I would

    never cheat on Rowan. I love him so much.

    Unless things changed and I be a grade A slut, I don¡¯t see myself being with any other man

 Chapter 272

    You told me that hever chested, so what¡¯s the story with this Ethan guy? How did I end up with him?¡±

    Since we were on that topic, I might as well get the answer to the question that has been driving me

    completely insane.

    He doesn¡¯t answer for a while, and I just stay silent, I wait for him to gather his thoughts. I know he does

    love Iris, but I can also tell that Ethan is a touchy subject for him.

    I wonder what Ethan did to get on Rowan¡¯s bad side and why the hell I would sleep with him. Was it a

    way for me to get back at Rowan for not loving me? You know? Sleep with a man he doesn¡¯t like.

    I¡¯m not really a vengeful person, but I also understand that pain and heartache can push someone to do

    things they would not normally do.

    ¡°When Emma came back, I wanted to be with her,¡± he begins.

    It hurts to hear him say that, but I always knew something like this would happen when and if she came

    back. I just never thought it would hurt this badly.

    ¡°I knew that it wouldn¡¯t be good for Noah if we ended things abruptly. We needed to first ease him into

    the idea of us no longer being together. You agreed and I started seeing Emma secretly as we prepared

    for a separation.¡±

    I focus on him. Listening to every word he was saying. I didn¡¯t want him to see my pain, so I hid it behind

    an indifferent mask

    ¡°You met Ethan when he saved you during an attack. He was one of the officers assigned to protect us

    during James burial. A threat had been made and they couldn¡¯t risk anyone else dying.¡±

    I frown because nothing of what he was saying rings any bells. There was nothing but nkness where

    the memory should be.

    ¡°When you say he saved me, what do you mean?¡± I ask curiously.

    ¡°There was a shootout. You got hit on the shoulder, but if it wasn¡¯t for Ethan diving for you, you would

    have ended up dead.¡±

    Well, that was a nice thing for him to do, especially for a total stranger. I guess that was our ¡®How I Met

    Your Mother¡® story¡­ But where was Rowan? Before I can, he continues.

    that us

    don¡¯t know the nitty¨Cgritty details; all I know is two started seeing each other. It honestly made me

    jealous. I couldn¡¯t understand why, but it bothered me to see you with another man. It wanted to rip

    rprise

    wes balling his fist was proof enough that it still bothered him a lot. Never in my wildest vel ever thought

    that Rowan would be jealous and possessive towards me, so this is a total

    7 had yet to understand my feelings towards you, so when you told me about him, I agreed that our

    marriage should be an open rtionship. It didn¡¯t seem fair to keep you away from him when I myself

    was courting another woman.¡±

    Fuck. Why the hell did hearing him say that hurt so fucking much. It is pretty clear that he was ready to

    cast me aside for Emma. I always knew it was inevitable so I don¡¯t know why it hurts.

    As for Ethan, I really don¡¯t understand. Was he able to capture my attention so much that I would

    approach Rowan with the issue, or did I just want to make Rowan jealous? Maybe get a reaction out of

    him.

    What was it about this Ethan guy that aplished what other guys never could? What was it about him

    that made me get so attracted to him that we even had sex?

    ¡°I was seeing Emma and you were seeing Ethan, yet my every thought was consumed by you,¡± he

    exhaled, running a hand through his tousled hair. ¡°It¡¯s funny, honestly. When Emma came back, I thought

    you would be a pain in my ass, like you were when we were younger. It surprised me when you weren¡¯t.

    You didn¡¯t even seem to care. I ended up being a pain because for some reason, I couldn¡¯t let you go.¡±

    Had I really been like that? My world revolved around Rowan and Noah. For him to say that it seemed

    like I wasn¡¯t even bothered that he was dating Emma is really weird

 Chapter 273

    Ethan and I dated for months?¡± I ask

    ¡°So I must have slept with him somewhere along that time line, which would exin how I got pregnant.

    Weren¡¯t we using protection?¡± I voiced out my thoughts, so lost in them that I forgot that Rowan was next

    to me.

    He growls, the wordsing out through clenched teeth: ¡°Ava, please don¡¯t mention you, another man,

    and sex in the same sentence. I don¡¯t want even to think about it¡±

    I don¡¯t even want to think of another man¡¯s hands on my body, so I keep quiet. It¡¯s still hard for me to

    ept that another man has touched and tasted me. It¡¯s hard to ept that I¡¯ve had another man inside

    ¦°¦¥.

    Shaking myself from those thoughts, I focus on him and ask the question that I dread the answer to

    ¡°What about you? Did you sleep with Emma?¡±

    My heart is painfully pounding as I wait for his answer.

    Sharp grey eyes prate mine as he replies. ¡°No. I didn¡¯t have sex with her. I didn¡¯t even kiss her

    because it felt so fucking wrong.

    Yet, I fucked another man. How can he even look at me and Iris?

    I¡¯m sorry that I let another man touch me.¡± I whisper, feeling ashamed of myself,

    He gently grabs my jaw and forces me to look at him. Caressing my cheek, he ces a soft kiss at the

    corner of my mouth before his grey eyes turn to me again.

    ¡°It¡¯s not your fault, and don¡¯t ever fucking apologize for that. If it wasn¡¯t for your rtionship with Ethan,

    then Iris wouldn¡¯t be here, and I would never regret that little girl because she owns part of my heart.¡±

    That touched me so much that I couldn¡¯t stop myself from locking my lips with his. I thread my fingers

    into his hair as I bring him closer. Our lips tangle, and my desire spikes. Fuck, I wanted him badly.

    Without breaking the kiss, I get out from beneath the covers and straddle his hips. The evidence of his

    arousal presses against my wet center.

    My panties were drenched and stuck against my opening, but that didn¡¯t stop me from rubbing against

    his hard on. The groan he releases travels all the way to Clit. I swear I could cum from just that damn

    sexy

    HB BONUS

    Nothing made sense except what was happening between us. What were we even talking about before?

    nsure it wasn¡¯t important right? Not when his tongue was in my mouth, his hardened length was rubbing

    against center and his hands was kneading my ass. Nothing in this world mattered except for this

    moment night here between us.

    Pulling my hands from his hair, I was about to remove my nightgown when he stopped me.

    ¡°No.¡± His voice was firm and strained.

    ¡°Why? Don¡¯t you want me?¡± I ask in confusion.

    His hardness told me he did want me. Unless his arousal wasn¡¯t because of me.

    ¡°You¡¯re testing my fucking control, Ava.¡± He sighs. ¡°Fuck yes do I want you, but that will be taking

    advantage of you.¡±

    Using one arm, he lifts me from hisps and ces me on the bed. Then he gets out of bed and starts

    heading towards the bathroom.

    ¡°I don¡¯t understand,¡± I call after him, making him stop

    He doesn¡¯t turn, but he answers. ¡°When I take you, I want you to believe my feelings for you; I want to be

    the only one you want and think about; I want to be the only one you have in your heart, and I want you

    to have nothing but love for me. Only then will I take you and im you as mine.¡±

    With that he walks into the bathroom, leaving me speechless and more confused.

    What the hell did he mean by he wants me to have nothing but love in my heart for him? Did something

    happen that made me hate him? And also, if Ethan was Iris¡¯s dad, where the hell was he?

 Chapter 274

    ¡°I still think that I should stay home with you and Iris.¡± I reluctantly put my shirt on as my eyes met with

    the brown orbs of Ava through the mirror.

    She was seated on the bed, still in her nightgown. Noah had already left for school. He¡¯d also been

    reluctant to leave for school. Not that he had a choice.

    ¡°You need to go to work,¡± she insists as she stands up and walks to me.

    She lightly runs her hand up my chest before she begins to button my shirt. Having her hands on me

    takes

    me back to yesterday night.

    The taste of her lips still lingers on mine. I can¡¯t get the image of her rubbing herself against my hardness

    out of my mind. She looked so beautiful and sexy at that time. I¡¯d wanted nothing more than to rip off her

    very short night gown and fuck her till neither of us could walk.

    The intensity of how much I¡¯d craved her shocked me to the core. It was new, passionate, and all-

    consuming. It was something I never fucking thought I would feel towards her.

    I¡¯d felt the moisture of her arousal through her panties, and it had taken everything in me to stop.

    I meant what I said. I wasn¡¯t going to touch her until her love for me had been revived and until she finally

    started believing that I did love her. No one but her.

    ¡°That¡¯s the thing, Ava, I don¡¯t have to go to work because I am the fucking CEO¡± I force myself back to

    the present. ¡°What¡¯s the use of being the boss if I can¡¯t take a few days off to take care of my wife and

    my

    princess?¡±

    I shift to try and relieve the ufortableness of my pants which had be too tight. Thest thing I

    need is a hard on. Last night I had to literally take matters in hand because of the massive case of blue

    balls.

    Ava finishes and ces an unsure kiss on my cheek. I can tell she still doesn¡¯t trust what was happening

    between us. She was so used to being pushed away and her efforts shot down that she didn¡¯t

    understand

    or trust this new intimacy.

    Before she can pull away, I grab her waist and bring her flush against my body. I take her lips, finally

    kissing her like I¡¯ve been wanting to do since I woke up.

    One of the things I¡¯vee to love about her, is how responsive she is. She immediately melts in my

    I think the only thing keeping her from copsing to the floor is my arm around her waist.

    Breaking the kiss, I stare at her beautiful face. We were both breathless, but we didn¡¯t really care.

    I still don¡¯t know how I was able to fucking resist her when she was a whole damn package. It boggles

    my mind every time I think about it. I can¡¯t even begin to imagine my life without her.

    ¡°I do want you, Ava and I hope that one day you¡¯ll believe that and that I want to make a life with you¡±

    There is a struggle behind her eyes. She doesn¡¯t know if she should believe me. If she should trust my

    words and actions towards her.

    It kills me that she doesn¡¯t, but I have no one else to me, but myself.

    ¡°I hope to believe you one day, because life since I woke up has been heavenly. It¡¯s been like a dream

    Kissing her onest time, I lean my forehead against hers. ¡°Like I said, I¡¯ll prove it to you, Ava. I¡¯ll prove

    that I¡¯ve changed, that I want no one but you. I¡¯m a man and I¡¯ll do stupid shit but I promise never to hurt

    you deliberately¡±

    She nods her head, but doesn¡¯t say a thing.

    The intimate air is broken when Iris screams through the baby monitor.

    ¡°1 should check on her she whispers, while looking in the direction of the monitor.

    ¡°Go¡± I tell her. ¡°I¡¯ll finish here and thene say goodbye to you two¡±

    After giving me one longing look, she leaves.

    I finish dressing up and leave the room. Entering Iris¡¯s room I find Ava

    her.

    seated on the rocking chair feeding

    ¡°There¡¯s something really sexy about watching you feed her¡± I say then cross the room to them.

    Kneeling down before them, I kiss Iris on the forehead. Ava and I both smile when she stops suckling for

    a while, looks at me then continues on.

    Iris is perfect and she had me wrapped around her tinny finger. I would never regret Iris, but I can¡¯t help

    but feel like my stupidity cost me a lot. If I hadn¡¯t been so stubborn and foolish maybe I would have had a

    daughter of my own by now.

    Ava wanted more children with me, but I didn¡¯t, not with her anyway. I be leved that I would end up with

    Emma one day and that having more kids with Ava would have justplicated things further,

    Denying her request was also my way of punishing her. I wanted to hurt her with the knowledge that t

    Jokes on me though. She got her desire. She got another baby. Only she had her with another man.

    ¡°Rowan¡­¡± her voice pulls me back to the present. ¡°Are you okay? You zoned out while looking at Iris¡±

    I shift my eyes to her and let her see the truth of my words ¡°Was just wondering how our daughter would

    have looked like, had we had another baby after Noah¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t want any more children with me¡± she points out as pain and heartache filters through her

    soul.

    1 know¡± I sigh. ¡°It¡¯s one of my many regret¡±

    Fuck. I had a lot of regrets and so much to make up for. Not just the years during our marriage, but even

    before that.

    I

    I wasn¡¯t that kind to Ava when we young, I knew she had a crush on me. Everyone did. It made me feel

    suffocated because I thought I would never feel that way about her, so I treated her as cruelly as I could

    because I was afraid that she woulde between Emma and I.

    She¡¯s quiet as she studies me. I know I¡¯ve shocked her with this new revtion, but I just wanted her to

    know that I would never regret any children we may have had.

    ¡°Maybe.¡± she starts tentatively. ¡°Maybe after Iris is a little older and you¡¯ve proven yourself¡­ maybe then.

    we can add to our family¡±

    Hope blooms inside me and I can¡¯t help it when I kiss her again because damn it, she was irresistible.

    ¡°Deal¡± I murmur against her lips.

    I straighten after a few minutes and check my watch. I was going to bete if I didn¡¯t hurry up. Saying

    goodbye to both of my girls, I leave.

    I wanted to hold on to the hope she had given, but I couldn¡¯t it. Not when a nagging voice kept

    whispering

    inside my head:

    ¡°What will happen when she finds out you¡¯ve been lying to her?¡±

 Chapter 275

    I stare at the papers in front of me, but the words are nothing but a blur. I couldn¡¯t make sense of any of

    it, mainly because I couldn¡¯t focus on shit.

    My thoughts were back home with Ava. I couldn¡¯t help but worry, even though I had bodyguards

    protecting the wholepound.

    What if something happened and I wasn¡¯t there to protect her?

    That was my biggest worry right now. I failed her thest time, when she was shot. I was just afraid of

    something like that happening to her again.

    My phone rings, and I dive for it. I¡¯m disappointed when I see Reaper¡¯s name sh. I bought Ava a new

    phone a couple of days ago, and I was hoping that it was her calling.

    With a sigh, I answer, ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s got your underwear in a twist?¡± he grumbles back.

    bastard, and he sure as hell

    I still didn¡¯t like the didn¡¯t like me, but for Ava and Iris¡¯s sake, we would work

    together to protect them.

    ¡°Did you call for something important, or do you just want to bitch at me?¡± I push the documents I was

    studying aside and lean back against my chair. ¡°If that¡¯s the case, then I¡¯m going to hang up because I¡¯m

    not in the fucking mood to deal with you.¡±

    He doesn¡¯t say anything, and for a while. I almost think that he has hung up. I wouldn¡¯t put it past him

    anyway.

    Pinching the bridge of my nose, I let myself exhale deeply. I¡¯ve been at work for four hours, and I already

    have a migraine.

    ¡°Have you found anything rted to that day?¡± I ask him instead.

    It was better than just hearing him breathe on the other end. If he was calling, then there must be a

    reason why

    His sigh is deep and loaded. That much I can tell.

    ¡°No,¡± he replies. ¡°And that¡¯s what has me worried. I¡¯m usually able to find someone within days; It¡¯s now.

    been months, and we still don¡¯t have a fucking clue on who could be behind her attack.¡±

    The police investigations led to dead ends after dead ends. I was hoping that working with Reaper would

    ¡°It¡¯s starting to get on my fucking nerve because, as long as this person is still breathing, Ava will

    probably always be in danger.¡± I hear a growl, followed by a crash on his end.

    He was right. That¡¯s what scares me so much. It¡¯s why I¡¯m not big on the idea of leaving Ava home

    alone.

    ¡°Any lead at all? Anything at all that could point us in the right direction?¡± I almost plead.

    We needed something. I needed something. Anything at all. The constant worry was starting to get to

    me. I couldn¡¯t risk losing Ava. Especially not now, when I feel like I¡¯ve been given a second chance.

    ¡°Nothing,¡± he breathes out. Though there is something that I can¡¯t figure out,¡±

    ¡°What is it?¡±

    I

    ¡°How has this person stayed hidden?¡± he replies. ¡°Like I said, it is not really hard for me to find someone.

    I mean, I¡¯m king of the underground; no one stays hidden from me.¡±

    I thought about it for a while. He is right. Reaper is the king of his terrain. His name alone is enough to

    send someone into an early grave. The bastard is unhinged, and most people fear him. The fact that he

    isn¡¯t able to find out who ordered the hit and who actually carried it out is weird as fuck.

    ¡°Could it be that someone is protecting him or her? I murmur more to myself than to him.

    ¡°That¡¯s impossible¡±

    ¡°Just think about it. We are yet to trace this person, even with both our influences, meaning someone is

    backing them up. Someone is making sure that they¡¯re not found.¡±

    He¡¯s quiet for a while. It¡¯s a lot, but I think it¡¯s starting to sink in. It¡¯s the only exnation that makes

    sense. No one is this good at hiding unless someone else is covering their tracks for them.

    ¡°Even if that¡¯s the case, what about the one who fired? He or she might have fired themselves or paid

    someone else to do it, either way, they aren¡¯t working alone,¡± he summarizes.

    ¡°Exactly¡±

    ¡°That means that someone is hiding them from me.¡±

    A frustrated groan leaves my mouth. ¡°That¡¯s what I¡¯ve been trying to fucking tell you for the past few

    minutes.¡±

    Standing up, I head to my office bar and pour myself a ss of whiskey. I gulp the amber content and

    add

    more..

    Dealing with Reaper always gives me a damn headache and ruins my mood. I was already in a bad

    mood, but he just made it worse.

    ¡°Just fucking chill. I¡¯m thinking, and I don¡¯t need you interrupting my thought process with your negative

    energy.

    ¡°Why you¡­

    He cuts off my rant before I can finish.

    The ss in my hand was gripped so tight that I was afraid it was going to break. That¡¯s how on my

    nerves he was.

    ¡°All this means only one thing,¡± he starts. ¡°That whoever is protecting our target is powerful enough to

    defy us.¡±

    ¡°That or he or she is family,¡± I add as the thought filters through my thoughts.

    ¡°Fuck! You know what this means, right?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± I reply as my tone hardens. ¡°If our target is family, which I suspect he or she is, then whoever is

    covering their tracks will do anything to protect them, including defying us

    Damn it, this just made things moreplicated. We need to find whoever hurt Ava before he or she

    can.

    strike again.

 Chapter 276

    Ava

    It¡¯s official. I miss my husband so much. It has only been a couple of hours since Rowan left, and I¡¯m

    dying to pick up the phone and call him.

    I know I¡¯m the one who insisted he should go to work today, but now I¡¯m regretting it.

    I¡¯ve done every chore around the house, which, by the way, isn¡¯t much because Teresa was already on

    top of things. I was bored out of my mind since there was nothing to do. Iris is asleep most of the time,

    and Teresa is busy, so there isn¡¯t anyone to keep mepany.

    I tried baking, but it was a failed attempt. Like with the pancakes, I had difficulty remembering the recipe.

    and also measuring

    Sighing, I take the baby monitor and leave for the backyard. I head straight for the beautiful gazebo that

    took my breath away the moment I saw it.

    I don¡¯t remember it being there before, so it was probably added during the four missing years.

    This amnesia is both a blessing and a curse. I consider it a blessing because Rowan has changed so

    much. He¡¯s everything I¡¯ve always wanted him to be. I can¡¯t reallyin. We were finally the family I¡¯d

    always imagined.

    It was also a curse because so many things are now different. So many things are new. To be honest, I

    don¡¯t even find that to be a bad thing. What I hate about my current situation are the side effects. The

    inability to read simple words and numbers. It honestly makes me feel stupid.

    ¡°Ma¡¯am, there is someone here to see you.¡± Teresa¡¯s voice startles me since I¡¯d been so lost in thought.

    ¡°Who is it?¡± I look at her, squinting my eyes against the bright sunlight.

    ¡°Scarlet¡±

    I think about the name for a while, but it doesn¡¯t ring a bell. Clearly, if the person was here, it meant they

    knew me, right?

    Let her in.

    She slightly bows her head and then leaves. Minutester, shees back with Letty.

    ¡°I thought your name is Letty.¡± I voice my confusion.

    Teresa excuses herself while Letty takes a seat next to me. I turn and face her fully, I honestly didn¡¯t

    know

    a stranger.

    ¡°Letty is just a nickname for Scarlet. My grandmother started calling me that when I was younger and the

    name just kind of stuck.¡±

    I nod, but don¡¯t say anything else. A kind of awkward silence falls between us. It was deafening and

    spoke volumes. It¡¯s like none of us know where to begin.

    Everything about this whole thing is weird. I mean, here is this woman who probably knows everything

    about me, but I know nothing about her.

    ¡°So how are you? How are things going?¡± She finally breaks the silence after a few minutes of silence.

    I think about it for a while before answering. During that time, Teresaes back with a pitcher of

    lemonade and two sses. She leaves again after serving us.

    Taking a sip of the delicious liquid, I answer. ¡°Not bad; I can¡¯t honestlyin.¡±

    ¡°So Rowan is treating you well, right?¡± she pushes.

    The question sits wrong with me.

    ¡°Why would you ask that?¡±

    Sure, I know that my rtionship with Rowan has always been tense. She¡¯s apparently my friend, so she

    would definitely know that, but Rowan told me that things between us changed. Was that a lie?

    ¡°Oh nothing. I just want to make sure that everything is okay.¡± The look in her eyes tells me that it¡¯s more

    than that.

    The way she was trying to rearrange her features and control her emotions speaks of something else.

    going on. Just like with Rowan, I could sense that something wasn¡¯t adding up. That, too, like

    husband, was hiding something.

    ¡°Should I be worried or something?¡±

    my

    Maybe I could get her to tell me something. Anything at all on what Rowan might be hiding from me. It

    would be a great help, instead of always just wondering and guessing.

    ¡°Nothing at all,¡± she said, taking a deep breath. ¡°I¡¯m just happy to see you so happy and peaceful. I knew

    that being with Rowan was going to change things for you. I can see how happier you are by his side.¡±

    ¡°Was I sad a lot? Rowan told me that we agreed to have an open rtionship when he started seeing

    Emma and I started seeing Ethan

    She stares at me. Her eyes boring into mine as if she were searching for something. There is a raging

    debate behind her eyes. A certain kind of struggle. One I didn¡¯t understand.

    ¡°Yes. I wasn¡¯t there at the beginning when Emma came back, but I knew about your story with her. I

    could tell how much it killed you knowing that Rowan pushed you aside for her even though you refused

    to admit it. You locked away that pain and tried forgetting about it.¡±

    That is really interesting. I¡¯m not really surprised. It had always been painful for me to know that, despite

    how much I loved Rowan, he held on to his love for Emma and refused to give me a chance.

    I still don¡¯t really understand how he came to change his mind about me. He tried exining it to me the

    day we talked about Ethan, but the exnation just wasn¡¯t enough. He has hated me for so long. How is

    it possible that something as simple as seeing me with another man triggered his feelings for me?

 Chapter 277

    It was all so fucking confusing and frustrating. I hate that I have to be told about my life by other people.

    It¡¯s something that I should be able to remember instead of being told about it like it was a damn story.

    ¡°You hinted that you came into my life after Emma came back, but you already knew our story. How¡¯s

    that possible, and how did we meet?¡±

    ¡°Travis and I are dating. We¡¯ve been dating for almost two years now. I knew of your history with Emma

    and Rowan because Travis told me.

    And things get even more interesting. I didn¡¯t see thating. Given how think he would warn his

    girlfriend to stay away from me.

    Travis also despised me, I¡¯d

    Also, how are we even friends? Travis is a piece of work, and I¡¯m sure his girlfriend is probably the same.

    After all, don¡¯t birds of a feather flock together?

    She must have seen the doubt in my eyes because she grabs my hand.

    ¡°I know what you¡¯re thinking, but it isn¡¯t like that. After Travis told me about you, I kept my distance. Not

    because I supported them and what they did to you, but because I was afraid you¡¯d reject my friendship

    because I was dating him. It was after your attack that I came looking for you. I wanted to make sure

    your were okay and that you knew you weren¡¯t alone.¡±

    Taking a sip of my drink, I remain silent for a while. There was a lot to unpack from what she told me.

    ¡°If you were afraid that I wouldn¡¯t ept your friendship, then that means Travis and I weren¡¯t on good

    terms.¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡± She replied, shifting in her seat. ¡°You¡¯d cut him from your life.¡±

    Well, there is another surprise.

    I only had one question, though:

    ¡°Why would I have cut him off and not Rowan? He¡¯s caused me more pain than almost everyone

    Panic shes in her eyes. I see her begin to get nervous before she forces herself to calm down. If what,

    she was saying was the truth, why would she panic at my simple question?

    That¡¯s something you have to figure out yourself,¡± she finally answers. ¡°But I think that it¡¯s maybe

    because, even though you tried killing your love for Rowan, you never seeded. It was buried under

    years of pain, but it never faded. On the other hand, your love for Travis, Kate, and James. It faded.

    That¡¯s

    I go to say something, but she cuts me off.

    ¡°Plus, it¡¯s hard to move on from someone when he is constantly around you. Because of the shared cust

    ¡­¡± Her eyes widen as if she¡¯d caught herself right before revealing something she wasn¡¯t supposed to.¡±

    Because of Noah, you two were always around each other.¡±

    I hum as my brain tries to figure out what she¡¯d been about to say. Could she have meant to say shared

    custody? If so, doesn¡¯t that mean that Rowan and I divorced?

    More questions just keep arising in my head. It was driving me nuts, honestly. All I wanted was to figure

    out the damn truth.

    ¡°What about my rtionship with Ethan?¡± I ask her, maybe she could shed more light on that.

    She answers with a question of her own. ¡°What has Rowan told you?¡±

    Shrugging my shoulders, I reply. ¡°Nothing much. Just that I was seeing him during the time he was

    courting Emma¡­ I can¡¯t help but wonder, though; I know myself. At least my current self, and I know!

    would never have slept with another man if I at least didn¡¯t feel something strong for him.¡±

    Letty stares at me for a long time before answering.

    ¡°You were highly attracted to him, but apart from that, you were falling for him. You once told me that you

    felt really strongly for him and that you could actually imagine a future with him. That you could see

    yourself building a life with him and loving him¡±

    Color me shocked. Shit. Was she honestly telling the truth? Was I really falling for some other man? I

    always thought that Rowan was it for me. I never considered other men because he was embedded

    deep in my soul. I thought I would never fall out of love with him, even if he went back to Emma.

    To find out that this almost happened leaves me feeling some type of way.

    I look up at her with unfocused eyes.

    ¡°And what happened to Ethan? Why isn¡¯t he around? If I were falling in love with him, why am I now with

    Rowan? I don¡¯t understand.¡± I stammer, firing question after question at her.

    She goes to answer, but a cold and deadly voice stops her.

    ¡°That¡¯s fucking enough Letty¡±

    I swivel around in my chair, and my eyes collide with the gray, angry ones belonging to Rowan.

 Chapter 278

    He literary stomps towards us. When he reaches us, he pulls me out of my chair before kissing me

    ucking confusing and frustrating. I hate that I have to be told about my life by other people. It¡¯s something

    that I should be able to remember instead of being told about it like it was a damn story.

    ¡°You hinted that you came into my life after Emma came back, but you already knew our story. How¡¯s

    that possible, and how did we meet?¡±

    ¡°Travis and I are dating. We¡¯ve been dating for almost two years now. I knew of your history with Emma

    and Rowan because Travis told me.

    And things get even more interesting. I didn¡¯t see thating. Given how think he would warn his

    girlfriend to stay away from me.

    Travis also despised me, I¡¯d

    Also, how are we even friends? Travis is a piece of work, and I¡¯m sure his girlfriend is probably the same.

    After all, don¡¯t birds of a feather flock together?

    She must have seen the doubt in my eyes because she grabs my hand.

    ¡°I know what you¡¯re thinking, but it isn¡¯t like that. After Travis told me about you, I kept my distance. Not

    because I supported them and what they did to you, but because I was afraid you¡¯d reject my friendship

    because I was dating him. It was after your attack that I came looking for you. I wanted to make sure

    your were okay and that you knew you weren¡¯t alone.¡±

    Taking a sip of my drink, I remain silent for a while. There was a lot to unpack from what she told me.

    ¡°If you were afraid that I wouldn¡¯t ept your friendship, then that means Travis and I weren¡¯t on good

    terms.¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡± She replied, shifting in her seat. ¡°You¡¯d cut him from your life.¡±

    Well, there is another surprise.

    I only had one question, though:

    ¡°Why would I have cut him off and not Rowan? He¡¯s caused me more pain than almost everyone

    Panic shes in her eyes. I see her begin to get nervous before she forces herself to calm down. If what,

    she was saying was the truth, why would she panic at my simple question?

    That¡¯s something you have to figure out yourself,¡± she finally answers. ¡°But I think that it¡¯s maybe

    because, even though you tried killing your love for Rowan, you never seeded. It was buried under

    years of pain, but it never faded. On the other hand, your love for Travis, Kate, and James. It faded.

    That¡¯s

    I go to say something, but she cuts me off.

    ¡°Plus, it¡¯s hard to move on from someone when he is constantly around you. Because of the shared cust

    ¡­¡± Her eyes widen as if she¡¯d caught herself right before revealing something she wasn¡¯t supposed to.¡±

    Because of Noah, you two were always around each other.¡±

    I hum as my brain tries to figure out what she¡¯d been about to say. Could she have meant to say shared

    custody? If so, doesn¡¯t that mean that Rowan and I divorced?

    More questions just keep arising in my head. It was driving me nuts, honestly. All I wanted was to figure

    out the damn truth.

    ¡°What about my rtionship with Ethan?¡± I ask her, maybe she could shed more light on that.

    She answers with a question of her own. ¡°What has Rowan told you?¡±

    Shrugging my shoulders, I reply. ¡°Nothing much. Just that I was seeing him during the time he was

    courting Emma¡­ I can¡¯t help but wonder, though; I know myself. At least my current self, and I know!

    would never have slept with another man if I at least didn¡¯t feel something strong for him.¡±

    Letty stares at me for a long time before answering.

    ¡°You were highly attracted to him, but apart from that, you were falling for him. You once told me that you

    felt really strongly for him and that you could actually imagine a future with him. That you could see

    yourself building a life with him and loving him¡±

    Color me shocked. Shit. Was she honestly telling the truth? Was I really falling for some other man? I

    always thought that Rowan was it for me. I never considered other men because he was embedded

    deep in my soul. I thought I would never fall out of love with him, even if he went back to Emma.

    To find out that this almost happened leaves me feeling some type of way.

    I look up at her with unfocused eyes.

    ¡°And what happened to Ethan? Why isn¡¯t he around? If I were falling in love with him, why am I now with

    Rowan? I don¡¯t understand.¡± I stammer, firing question after question at her.

    She goes to answer, but a cold and deadly voice stops her.

    ¡°That¡¯s fucking enough Letty¡±

    I swivel around in my chair, and my eyes collide with the gray, angry ones belonging to Rowan.

    I normally wouldn¡¯t mind the kiss, but something about it seemed different. It was full of anger and

    e he was trying bitterness. It was punishing and bruising. Almost as if he was trying to stake his im.

    Like to erase Ethan¡¯s name from my lips. 1

    I stand stock still, refusing to kiss him back. I wanted answers, and he¡¯d cut off Letty before she could tell

    me where Ethan was.

    When he notices that I¡¯m not responding to his kiss, he stops and steps back. The anger is still raging in

    his eyes, but that doesn¡¯t faze me at all. Not when I was desperate to know what happened to the man

    that I¡¯d apparently been falling for. The man who had achieved what I¡¯d thought was impossible. Taking

    me away from Rowan.

    ¡°I want answers, Rowan, and I want them now,¡± I demand, folding my hand across my chest. ¡°Tell me

    where Ethan is.¡±

    The storm that was brewing behind his stormy grey eyes bes almost chaotic.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to hear his fucking name,¡± he growls, his fist clenched. ¡°I told you what¡¯s important, and

    that¡¯s all you need to know about him. You don¡¯t need to know where he is.¡±

    His answer ignites a fire inside me. I mean, how fucking dare he? This is the father of my talking about,

    and he has the audacity to tell me he isn¡¯t going to tell me more about him?

    child we are

    ¡°He¡¯s Iris¡¯s father, and I deserve to know who he is and where he is. This isn¡¯t something I¡¯m going to

    budge on, whether you like it or not.¡± I hiss at him as I stub my finger in his chest just to get my point

    across.

    ¡°No!¡± His tone is hard, and it reminds me of the Rowan I was used to. ¡°That¡¯s final¡±

    ¡°Maybe you should just tell her.¡± Lettyes to my aid, and those deadly eyes turn to her.

    ¡°Don¡¯t tell me what to fucking do,¡± he snarls, his voice dripping with annoyance. ¡°Now get the hell out of

    mypound.¡±

    His attitude towards her enrages me. I¡¯d be socent because of his new change that I¡¯d

    forgotten how much of an asshole Rowan could be.

    I yell at him. feeling even more pissed off. ¡°Don¡¯t talk to my friend like that.¡±

    You barely fucking know her,¡± he sneers, and I can¡¯t help but feel that he¡¯s somehow mocking me.

    My heart breaks at being reminded that I couldn¡¯t even remember my best friend because of my head

    injury. Something that is beyond my control.

    ¡°You¡¯re an asshole, but I shouldn¡¯t be surprised because you¡¯ve always been one towards me.¡± uttering

    this, I grab Letty¡¯s hand and the baby monitor, then drag her across thewn and into the house.

    I can¡¯t believe I let my guard around him. I should have known that everything with him was too good to

    be true.

    ¡°Look, I¡¯m going to go, but I¡¯lle back another day.¡± Letty begins. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to cause any

    between you two.¡±

    trouble

    I release the air I was holding and just sag in defeat. ¡°It isn¡¯t your fault. I just don¡¯t understand why he¡¯s

    acting this way.

    She looks at me like I¡¯m joking. ¡°Are you kidding me? Don¡¯t you see why he won¡¯t tell you where Ethan is

    or why he doesn¡¯t want you to speak his name?¡±

    I shake my head because it doesn¡¯t make any sense to me at all. Ethan is a part of my life because of

    Iris. There is no way I would cut him out of his daughter¡¯s life unless he himself didn¡¯t want to be part of

    it.

    ¡°It¡¯s because he¡¯s jealous,¡± she finally says. ¡°It¡¯s obvious to everyone except you. He doesn¡¯t want you

    around Ethan because he is fucking jealous.¡±

    I almostugh, but then remember the night he¡¯d told me the same thing. I hadn¡¯t believed him, but could

    it actually be true?

    Before I can say anything to her, like maybe tell her she was wrong Iris chooses that time to start wailing.

    ¡°Go, she needs you more. I¡¯ll let myself out, and maybe one of these days we can arrange a girl¡¯s day

    out

    with Corrine,¡± she says, giving me a smile.

    ¡°Alright then,¡± I sigh tiredly, feeling bad that I didn¡¯t manage to make her stay longer, not that she event

    I

    gave me the chance to convince her.

    She hugs me, and I head upstairs. I hear the door open and close right before I enter Iris¡¯s room.

    Picking her up from the cot, I kiss her cheek and then take her to the changing table. Her diaper wasn¡¯t

    wet, so it meant she was probably hungry.

 Chapter 279

    nearrge

    Sitting the

    I carry her, and we head to the library. One of my favorite ces in the house. windows, I pull down my

    camisole and bra. She attaches immediately and begins to feed.

    I watch her as she feeds. Her beautiful blue eyes staring at me with wonder and trust. I let out a small

    laugh when I realize that none of my kids have my eyes. Both took their dads¡® eye color.

    Running my finger down her soft cheek, I continue staring at her. Wondering how Ethan looked. Iris

    looks. like me except for her eyes, so I have nothing to draw on when imagining how Ethan looks.

    After she¡¯s done, I stand up and burp her. She isn¡¯t really a fussy baby and usually sleeps after feeding,

    but right now she was putting up a fight. She was crying and refusing to quiet down.

    I all but gave up after a few minutes of trying to soothe her when Rowan walks in. He had discarded his

    coat, and his sleeves were folded. Silently, he takes Iris from me, and she immediately quiets down.

    ¡°Why is my princess crying?¡± he asks, smiling and in a really sweet voice.

    Iris stares at him with so much wonder and fascination. If I didn¡¯t know better, I would think she worships

    him.

    I take a seat and remain quiet as Rowan continues having a one¨Csided conversation with my daughter. I

    had so much on my mind. So much to figure out. My head was a fucking mess.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to shout at you,¡± his soft and remorseful voice pulls me from my musings. ¡°You have to

    understand that I get jealous and angry every time I think of you and Ethan.¡±

    His confession catches me off guard. I don¡¯t know how to react to it, so instead I just keep quiet.

    ¡°It kills me knowing that I almost lost you to him. That my fucking stupidity and foolishness drove you into

    another man¡¯s arms. That¡¯s why I get so angry any time he¡¯s mentioned, because he did the one thing no

    other man has been able to do. He was able to touch your heart, a heart that has always belonged to

    me.

    I

    He is right¡­ And that¡¯s what I¡¯m struggling to understand. How was Ethan able to do it? I don¡¯t feel

    anything towards the man right now, but that doesn¡¯t change the fact that I¡¯d felt something or was

    starting to feel something towards him..

    ¡°Where is Ethan, Rowan?¡± I am afraid.

    I¡¯ve seen Rowan¡¯s possessiveness back when Emma was all he saw and breathed, and what lengths it

    drove him I was afraid he might have done something to Ethan.

    He sighs before answering ¡°Prison

    My eyes widen at his answer, ¡°Say what?¡±

    I couldn¡¯t have heard him right.

    ¡°Ethan is in prison.¡±

    Well, I did not see thating at all.

    ¡°What the hell happened?¡±

    He proceeded to tell me everything. How Ethan was Nora and Theo¡¯s adopted son. He told me how he

    yed me and how he ended up being caught and sentenced to prison.

    ¡°Holly Shit,¡± I exhale while staring at Rowan in shock. ¡°I was having sex with my adopted brother while

    he was nning my untimely demise the whole fucking time. That shit only happens in movies.¡±

    The deep growl that leaves his mouth startles Iris, who was beginning to fall asleep.

    ¡°What did I tell you about mentioning you, Ethan, and sex in the same fucking sentence?¡±

    I shake my head, still trying to grasp everything he¡¯s told me. ¡°Sorry¡±

    We are

    quiet for a while. Each of us lost in our own heads. I can¡¯t believe I went through all that and still

    remained sane.

    I mean, damn! The father of my daughter is my real parents¡® adopted son, and he tried to have me killed

    because he wanted to be the CEO of theirpany. That is CRAZY.

    ¡°I thought I would let him be around Iris; do you think that is a good idea?¡± I ask him, genuinely worried. I

    didn¡¯t want a psychopath around my child.

    Rowan groans before exhaling deeply. ¡°I hate to say it, but yes. Let him get to know his daughter. Sure,

    he started this with the wrong agenda, but I also admit that, in the end, he was deeply regretful. It seems

    he¡¯d fallen in love with you.¡±

    It¡¯s clear the words he said were uttered begrudgingly, but it was enough for me.

    Thank you for telling me. All I wanted was the truth.¡± I stand up, move, and then sit next to him. I lean my

    head against his shoulder, ignoring the troubled look that shed in his eyes.

    Right now, it didn¡¯t matter what he was hiding. I was going to find out sooner orter. What mattered was

    how the hell I was going to visit Ethan in prison without triggering another fight between Rowan and me.

 Chapter 280

    I¡¯m seated in the living room, going over some words and numbers. If I ever want to go back to teaching.

    then I need to relearn words and numbers

    Iris was sleeping in a portable crib that I dragged from upstairs. I didn¡¯t like the idea of leaving her in her

    room all by herself all the time. So here we are. She was just chilling while I basically studied all over

    again.

    My head was still reeling from everything I¡¯d learned yesterday about Ethan. I still can¡¯t believe that he

    yed me in such a cruel manner. That I hadn¡¯t suspected a thing during the months he and I were

    together.

    I don¡¯t know what pushed me into his arms in the first ce. Was it because Emma came back and I

    wanted Rowan to see that his rtionship with her didn¡¯t affect me? Or was it because I¡¯d been so

    desperate and starved of affection that I¡¯d fallen for the first man who showed interest in me?

    It frustrated me that I didn¡¯t know what had been going on in my mind when it all happened or what drove

    me. Unless I get my memory back, then I¡¯ll always wonder what motivated my actions.

    My phone rings, pulling me from my thoughts.

    I pick it up, but unfortunately, I can¡¯t read the number that was shing on the screen. So far, the only

    numbers that were programmed on the phone were Rowan¡¯s, the driver¡¯s, my bodyguards, and Noah¡¯s

    school office.

    After a second of debating whether to pick it, I tap on the green answering icon.

    ¡°Hello?¡± I ask tentatively..

    ¡°Hey, Ava¡­how are you?¡± I don¡¯t recognize the voice though it sounds sweet,

    ¡°Who¡¯s this?¡±

    A breath catches on the other side of the phone, making me feel terrible. It is obvious that I¡¯ve managed.

    to hurt their feelings.

    She answers slowly ¡°It¡¯s your mother, Nora¡±

    I haven¡¯t seen her since we left the hospital. Rowan had told her and Theo to give me some time to

    adjust

    to the idea before they coulde to visit.

    Everyone has confirmed that they are indeed my parents. Noah told me that I¡¯m the one who told him

    was adopted by Kate and James. I then introduced him to Nora and Theo. Still, I was having a hard time

    I clear my throat awkwardly. I honestly didn¡¯t mean to hurt her feelings.

    ¡°Hey¡­I¡¯m sorry, I just didn¡¯t know whose number it was, and I didn¡¯t recognize your voice.¡±

    She¡¯s quick to answer, ¡°It¡¯s okay, I totally understand.¡±

    ¡°Did Rowan give you my number?¡±

    Again, just like yesterday, today he¡¯d gone to work reluctantly. If it weren¡¯t for the fact that he had an

    important meeting, he would have stayed. He did promise toe back home immediately after, though.

    ¡°Yes. I hope you don¡¯t mind,¡± she states with hesitation.

    From what I¡¯ve seen for the few hours I was with her at the hospital, she seemed like a really sweet

    woman. I¡¯d wanted Rowan to tell me about their story. How it is, I ended up as Kate and James daughter.

    He told me that it wasn¡¯t his story to tell and that he would leave it to them to fill in the nks.

    I still don¡¯t know how it is that such a sweet couple raised such a maniptive man. I mean, who does.

    that? Who the hell seduces and sleeps with the woman he¡¯s hell¨Cbent on killing? I was having a hard

    time

    wrapping my head around that particr truth.

    ¡°I wanted to invite you to lunch,¡± she begins, pulling me from my thoughts. ¡°I will be honest and direct. I

    miss you, Ava. You¡¯re my daughter and it¡¯s killing me that after months of waiting for you to wake up, I

    can¡¯t even hold you because you don¡¯t remember me

    The heartbreak in her voice is clear as day. Witnessing it even through the phone moves something I

    can¡¯t

    honestly exin inside me.

    As a mother, I feel for her. It would destroy me if any of my children ever forgot me.

    ¡°I really don¡¯t know about that,¡± I tell her truthfully. ¡°Rowan says I¡¯m not safe since my attacker hasn¡¯t

    been caught yet.¡±

    I still wonder why someone would want me dead. Did I maybe piss someone off so much that they

    decided I deserved to die? I mostly keep to myself, so someone wanting to harm me didn¡¯t make sense. I

    mean, who would I offend when I barely have any friends?

    Don¡¯t worry about that¡­ I¡¯lle pick you up¡± she says. ¡°We¡¯re Howell¡¯s Ava. I dare anyone toe at

    you

    There was that name again, Rowan told me that Iris¡¯sst name Is Howell. It sounded really familiar. Like

    I¡¯d heard it somewhere.

    think about declining, but I decide otherwise. Maybe I could get more answers concerning Ethan, Sure.

    ¡°Okay then¡± I agree and she squeals in delight.

    She tells me that they¡¯ll be by in a few minutes before hanging up.

    I hurriedly change Iris then myself. I decided to just go with a silky blouse and some trousers. It will be

    easier to breastfeed Iris in that aspared to a dress.

    1 wait patiently as excitement starts buzzing inside me. I couldn¡¯t stay locked up in the house, forever. It

    was about time I go out. What¡¯s the worst thing that could happen?

 Chapter 281

    Nora and Theo arrive around thirty minutester. Like I said, I haven¡¯t been outside since that short trip

    from the hospital

    I was dying to see how the city had changed. Four years is a lot of time for a fast¨Cmoving city like this

    one

    to stay the same.

    When the doorbell rings, I get up excitedly and open the door.

    ¡°Are you and lo

    you and Iris ready?¡± Nora asks.

    She was buzzing with the same excitement as me. I let both of them hug me. Being in their arms felt so

    wonderful and familiar. Like it was something I constantly got from them.

    ¡°Yes, let me just get her.¡±

    I turn around and head back to the living room. Picking up my daughter, I say a hurried goodbye to

    Teresa,

    then leave the house.

    I was about to climb into their car when a bodyguard stops me.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, ma¡¯am, but I can¡¯t let you leave,¡± he says, dampening the excitement.

    I didn¡¯t know his name, though I¡¯ve seen him a couple of times while he was patrolling thepound.

    ¡°Why not?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m just following orders,¡± he replies kindly, but it honestly pisses me off.

    ¡°Call him,¡± I demand, my voice harder than I¡¯d expected,

    Almost reluctantly, he takes his phone from his pocket and dials it. I would have called Rowan myself, but

    I didn¡¯t want to admit to anyone that I was struggling to read the names saved on my phone.

    ¡°What¡¯s going on? Theo asks from behind.

    I raise my hand to stop him. I wasn¡¯ting off as rude; I was just frustrated. I hated feeling like I was

    caged. Like I was a prisoner in my own house.

    The guard then hands over his phone.

    What? His voice is hard and gruff,

    Rowen, why is the bodyguard preventing me from leaving? I ask in imitation,

    ¡°Where do you want to go? You can send him or he can drive you.¡±

    ¡°Nora invited me for lunch with her and Theo¡­ I have nothing to do so I want to leave with them.¡±

    I expected him to put up a fight, but he doesn¡¯t. Instead, he just sighs and asks to speak to Theo. I hand

    over the phone to him. He walks a couple of meters from us. When he is done, hees back and

    hands

    over the phone to the bodyguard.

    ¡°Well?¡± Nora asks her husband.

    ¡°He has agreed, just as long as we take extra bodyguards with us.¡± He then turns to the guard. ¡°Take at

    couple of you, men. You¡¯ll take one car. My bodyguards will drive in front of us and you¡¯ll be in the rear.¡±

    He nods. ¡°Yes sir¡±

    It doesn¡¯t take long for them to organize themselves. A few minutester, we are on the road.

    The drive is silent, and before I know it, we pull up at a fancy restaurant. The driver parks the car, and

    Theo helps Nora and me out of the car.

    ¡°Is it okay if I hold her?¡± Nora asks as we walk.

    I don¡¯t see a problem with it, so I hand Iris over to her. She smiles wide as she stares at me, daughter.

    Her

    granddaughter.

    Theo leads us inside. Some of the bodyguards stay outside, while a few enter with us.

    The moment the hostess sees us, she directs us to a VIP section. It was obvious that the couple had

    money and were well known. It reminded me of Rowan¡¯s family.

    ¡°Can you tell me more about Ethan?¡± I ask them the moment that the hostess leaves after she¡¯s made

    sure we¡¯re settled

    Theo and Nora exchange looks before they both turn to face me.

    ¡°So Rowan told you about him?¡±

    ¡°Yes, but only that he is your adopted son, Iris¡¯s father and that he¡¯s in prison.¡±

    Given Rowan didn¡¯t really like him. I knew that he couldn¡¯t have known Ethan well. These two have

    raised

    him. Maybe I can get to know him better through them.

    What do you want to know about him?¡± Nora asks.

    Do you visit him??

    I

    They both nod their heads. Iris was now awake, but I didn¡¯t take her from her grandmother. She wasn¡¯t

    crying, so there wasn¡¯t any need.

    ¡°Yes, and I know most people wouldn¡¯t agree

    but he¡¯s still our son despite what he did. All I pray is that

    don¡¯t hate. He was wrong but I swear he isn¡¯t a bad person.¡±

    you

    To be honest, I can¡¯t really hate him. It¡¯s hard to hate someone you don¡¯t know and have no recollection

    of. Right now, my opiniof him is based on what others have told me.

    I listen carefully as they tell me all about their Ethan. They also tell me what happened and how I ended

    up with the Sharp¡¯s.

    I did pay

    y attention throughout, but by the time they¡¯re done, I¡¯m still confused about Rowan. They went on

    and on about how he was a good man. If I¡¯m being honest, I feel like they were trying to sell me a pitch.

    Highlighting all of Ethan¡¯s good qualities without telling me who he truly is.

    All these just made me more desperate to see him. If I wanted to know what kind of man he is, then it¡¯s

    better to see him face¨Cto¨Cface rather than ask others about him.

    ¡°Please excuse me.¡± I tell them needing to take a breather.

    Leaving them with Iris, I ask the hostess to guide me to where the bathrooms are. My head was

    pounding.

    It¡¯s like I had an overload of information and didn¡¯t know what to do with it.

    I get to the

    opens.

    washroom and ssh water on my face. Taking a deep breath, I release it just as the door

    ¡°What are you doing here?¡± I was surprised to see Emma.

    I¡¯m even more surprised to see her with Christine. I didn¡¯t know they were friends. Did Emma know that

    Christine has been after Rowan for years?

    ¡°I¡¯m here to warn you,¡± she replies, both of them staring at me with hateful looks.

    ¡°So you decided the best way to do that is to corner me in the washroom?¡±

    ¡°We were here having lunch when you and your parents walked in,¡± Christine shrugs.

    Remembering how disrespectful Emma was that day, I dry my hands and move to leave. She grabs my

    hand and stops me.

    Rowan is mine. Ava: stay away from him,¡± she snarls, bitterness clouding her voice.

    right? enquing. Then why isn¡¯t he with you? Why is it that hees home to me every day? How

    he sleeps holding every night and not you?

    To be honest, I¡¯m surprised at my own boldness. This is so unlike me. I would have usually bowed to her

    because I didn¡¯t want conflict.

    She shoves me hard, and I knock my head against the wall.

    ¡°I know you nned all this to trap him again. To make him feel sorry for you so he cane back to

    you. I¡¯m warning you, though, that it won¡¯t work. I¡¯ll expose you for faking your amnesia and once I do,

    Rowan

    wille running back to me.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t pay attention to what she was saying because pain shot throughout my head right before I

    copsed to the ground.

    Thest thing I see is Emma¡¯s worried and panicked face looking down at me, and Christine¡¯s devious.

    and evil smirk.

 Chapter 282

    Rowan.

    I still can¡¯t get Letty¡¯s words out of my head. When I came home early that day, I expected to spend some alone time with Ava. What I didn¡¯t expect was to hear Letty telling Ava that she¡¯d been falling in love with

    Ethan.

    The pain that shot through my fucking heart had almost blinded me. Even though I hated the rtionship Ava had with Ethan, I always thought it was purely physical. That it was nothing more than sex.

    The fact that s

    she¡¯d been falling for him hurt more than knowing that she had slept with him. It nearly killed

    me to know that she had started seeing a future with the man.

    I had masked my pain with anger. I didn¡¯t know how to tell her that the possibility that she had felt a fraction of love for Ethan had crashed my soul into a bloody pulp. It had been too painful for me to voice.

    it out.

    The ¡°what ifs¡® kept ying in my head. Refusing to give me peace of mind. I couldn¡¯t help but wonder what would have happened if Ethan hadn¡¯t turned out to be the bad guy. Would she be with him right

    now? Would the love she had for me be reced with the one for Ethan? Would she have been

    It was driving me insane knowing that the only fucking reason that I had a chance with her was because

    Ethan fucked up.

    ¡°Rowan!¡± The shout jolts me back to the present.

    I stare at my brother in confusion, wondering when the hell he got into my office. I was so lost in thought

    that I didn¡¯t hear him enter my office.

    ¡°What?¡± I shuffle the papers that were in front of me before pushing them aside.

    He walks across the room and sits before my desk. ¡°I¡¯ve been trying to get your attention for more than

    five minutes.¡±

    I don¡¯t say anything. What was there to say? I¡¯ve been distracted these past couple of days, and it¡¯s all

    because of Ava. She is on my fucking mind every second of every day.

    Damn it. I was married to the woman for almost a decade, and she has never had this effect on me. Now

    I¡¯m addicted to her like and addict¡¯s favorite drug.

    She¡¯s embedded to deeply inside me that I couldn¡¯t fish her out even if I wanted. I wouldn¡¯t even do it:

    mine, and there is no fucking way I¡¯m leaving her

    ¡°I can see you have a lot on your mind,¡± he looks at me in that scrutinizing way I hate. ¡°Mind sharing?¡±

    This is so fucking hard. How do I tell him that I am so fucking insecure now about Ava¡¯s feelings towards Ethan? I¡¯ve never been the insecure kind, but with Ava, I am. I¡¯m not ashamed to admit that to myself.

    Unable to sit still, I stand up and walk to the floor to ceiling window. I stare outside. One of the reasons I chose this building and office was because of the view.

    My office was located on the fifteenth floor. I could practically see the whole city from here. There is also the fact that I could easily see the sun setting over a nearbyke.

    ¡°Rowan¡±

    Sighing, I turn to face my brother. ¡°I don¡¯t even know where to begin.¡±

    I¡¯m going to take a guess and assume this about Ava?¡± he asks

    I run my hand through my hair, messing it up in the process.

    ¡°Yes¡±

    ¡°You know you can tell me anything¡­ So what¡¯s up?¡±Content is ? 2024 N?velDrama.Org.

    I debate for only a second before I tell him everything. I couldn¡¯t fucking hold it inside. Not when it was

    driving me to the brink of insanity.

    Just like he always does, he sits patiently and listen until I¡¯m done. He doesn¡¯t judge or input his opinion

    until I¡¯m finished.

    I copse back on my chair after I¡¯m done while staring at him. His face is contemtive. I¡¯m fucking dying to hear what he has to say. What advice he has to give because I¡¯m at my wits end.

    ¡°Looks to me like you still jealous of Ethan,¡± he says after a while.

    I give him the dirtiest re I can master. ¡°That¡¯s already fucking obvious¡±

    ¡°Then what¡¯s the problem? I don¡¯t understand¡­ Ethan is in prison and you¡¯re with Ava. Shouldn¡¯t that be enough? Shouldn¡¯t that give you a bit of constion?¡± he asks genuinely confused.

    I fist my hand in frustration. Exhaling. I try exining it to him without losing my shit.

    ¡°I know that, but I also know Ava. One way or another she¡¯s going to insist on seeing Ethan because she¡¯ll not only want iris to know her dad, but she¡¯ll also want to know the man who got her pregnant

    His eyes pin mine as he finally figures out where my issue is stemming from.

    ¡°You¡¯re afraid she¡¯ll fall for Ethan all over again, aren¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°Yes¡± I stand up once again and start pacing. ¡°The te has been wiped clean. There is no hidden agenda and Ava knows the truth about him. What¡¯s stopping her from falling in love with him all over again? He may have betrayed her, but he didn¡¯t hurt her as much as I did¡±

    I honestly have no fucking idea what I would do if that happens. That possibility scares me so much because I love her so fucking much.¡¯m just afraid of losing her.

    ¡°What¡¯s stopping her, is the fact that Ethan is in prison. I don¡¯t think she would wait for him to be released. Twenty one years is a pretty long time¡±

    ¡°This is Ava we are talking about¡­her love and loyalty knows no bounds. I meane on, she continued to love me even when I treated her like shit, do you think if she falls for him, she¡¯ll leave him simply

    because he¡¯s in prison?¡±

    He shakes his head and sighs. ¡°You¡¯re right¡± he admits.

    I exhale in disappointment.

    ¡°Though I think you shouldn¡¯t worry too much about this¡± he continues. ¡°Just take it one day at a time and focus on showing her your heart. Love her so much, that the thought of leaving you breaks her heart.¡±

    There was nothing else I could do, so he was right. Whether she stays with me or not, it¡¯s her choice. Right now the only thing I can do is love her with everything I¡¯ve got.

    I let myself rx and ease the worry from my heart. Feeling like a fucking boulder has been lifted from my

    shoulders.

    Well I was starting to rx until my phone started to ring.

    ¡°What¡± I answer without looking at the caller ID.

    ¡°Rowan, there¡¯s been an incident¡±

    I recognize Theo¡¯s voice immediately and begin to tense up.

    ¡°What happened?¡±

    ¡°Can you please meet us at the hospital?¡± he says instead. ¡°Ava has been rushed to the ER¡±

    Fuck. I am going to kill someone.

 Chapter 283

    ¡°What is it?¡± Gabe asks as I stand up.

    I couldn¡¯t think clearly. They were supposed to take care of Ava. Why then was she at the hospital? This

    is why I didn¡¯t want her to leave thepound. I don¡¯t know what the hell happened, but I knew she was

    safer at home.

    ¡°Theo just told me that Ava has been rushed to the hospital¡± I reply through gritted teeth.

    I was pissed off and worried at the same time. I couldn¡¯t bare it if anything happened to her. Not when I

    just got her back.

    ¡°Come on I¡¯ll drive you¡±

    I just nod my head before heading out.

    ¡°Cancel all my meetings¡± I tell my secretary while walking towards the elevator.

    My look must have conveyed something because those who were in the hallways stepped out of my way.

    They parted like the red fucking sea.

    My heart pounded as Gabe and I rode the elevator all the way to the underground parking. I couldn¡¯t stop

    the images of thest time she was rushed to the hospital from ying through my mind like a damn

    broken record.

    Fear consumed me as my mind chose to focus on everything that could go wrong. Fuck, I needed to see

    her. Needed to know that she was okay.

    We get into the car and Gabe drives out immediately.

    ver me.

    ¡°Haven¡¯t we been here before?¡± I ask as a sense of de ja vu washes over

    I still remember how pain and fear gripped my heart that day. How I felt like my soul had been smashed

    into a thousand small pieces. It¡¯s something I want to forget, but it¡¯s etched to me like a damn tattoo.

    ¡°She¡¯s going to be okay¡± Gabe reassures me as if sensing the turmoil inside me.

    I don¡¯t say anything. I won¡¯t be able to rx until I know for sure that she¡¯s safe.

    The drive to the hospital is a blur and before I know it, we were parking in front of the hospital. The

    moment he switches off the engine, I get out and rush towards the entrance.

    get inside. A nurse sees me and motions for me to follow her. Almost everyone who worked in the

    hospital knew me. Not because I was Rowan fucking Woods, but because when Ava was in aa!

    There doctors are with her now, but her parents are in the waiting room¡±

    Theo

    neo and Nora stand up the moment I walk in. Theo¡¯s face looked like it was curved from granite and

    Nora looked like she has been crying.

    Iris was in her arms and was bawling her eyes out. Without really thinking, I pull her from Nora¡¯s arms

    and

    hold her to my chest.

    I whisper soothing words to her. Trying to calm down her hysteria. She rxes a bit but continues to

    sniffle.

    ¡°Can I take her?¡± the nurse asks gesturing to Iris. ¡°She¡¯s probably hungry and that¡¯s why she¡¯s fussy¡±

    I nod my head and allow her to take Iris from my arms. She was probably right.

    She excuses herself and leaves just as Gabe walks into the room.

    ¡°What the hell happened?¡± I turn to them and growl while trying to keep my voice low. ¡°I trusted you to

    take care of her¡±

    ¡°And we did¡± Theo replies. ¡°I don¡¯t know what the hell happened. She excused herself to go to the

    bathroom. A few minutester, we saw Emma heading in our direction looking frantic. She¡¯s the one that

    told us that Ava copsed in the bathroom¡±

    Nora picks up from where her husband left off ¡°We didn¡¯t have time to question her about what happened

    or why she was in the bathroom with Ava. Our main concern at the time was getting Ava to the hospital¡±

    ¡°And where is Emma?¡± Gabe asks.

    ¡°We don¡¯t know. We haven¡¯t seen her since she told us about Ava¡±

    Fuck. My anger was rising. I really wanted to punch something or someone

    Just then, Ava¡¯s doctor walks out.

    ¡°When I discharged Ava, I expected you to take good care of her Rowan¡± he begins with admonishing

    me. What I didn¡¯t expect was having her back in my care two weeks after she left the hospital¡±

    I re at her parents before facing him again.

    ¡°How is she?¡±

    Stable for now, She¡¯s still unconscious but she¡¯ll probably wake up in a few hours¡± he replies.

    My heart calms down, but not by much. I won¡¯t be able to rx until she is fully awake!

    ¡°Did she happen to hit her head on the floor when she copsed?¡± he inquired.

    ¡°I don¡¯t think so. Why?¡± Nora asks.

    ¡°Because of the wound on the back of her head. We were able to treat and stop the bleeding, but

    because of recording purposes, we need to know how she got hurt¡±

    ¡°She wasying on her side when we found her. It¡¯s impossible that she would have hit her head when

    she

    copsed¡± Theo rifies.

    My anger bes a fucking inferno at the implication.

    This only means that she was hurt some other way and given how unstable Emma is, I bet my whole

    fucking fortune that she¡¯s responsible.

    ¡°That¡¯s strange¡± the doctor murmurs to himself.

    ¡°You said that she¡¯s still unconscious?¡± I ask the doctor and he nods. ¡°Good. I¡¯ll be right back¡±

    I turn to my brother. ¡°Give me the car keys¡±

    He¡¯s hesitant but finally does.

    ¡°Where are you going?¡± he asks me worriedly, but I don¡¯t answer.

    I don¡¯t give them another look as I walk out of the waiting room, my anger zing hotter than the fires of

    hell.

    It was time I paid Emma a little visit. No one hurts Ava and gets away with it.

 Chapter 285

    Chapter 285

    Did I mention how fucking pissed off I am? I was fuming mad. It¡¯s a wonder that smoke isn¡¯ting out

    of my nose and ears like in the damn cartoons I used to watch

    Getting to the car, I get in, turn on the ignition, and drive out of the fucking park.

    don¡¯t think of anything apart from what Theo and Nora told me I just don¡¯t know why Emma can¡¯t get it

    into her fucking head that it was over between us. That I was done with her

    I know that I gave her hope when I asked for a chance after my divorce, but I made it clearter on that

    our rtionship wasn¡¯t going anywhere. That I didn¡¯t want to be with her

    I would have taken anything she threw at me and handled it gently because of our history. Trying to

    make Ava jealous, sure. Causing a fuss, definitely What I wouldn¡¯t tolerate, though, is her hurting Ava.

    That is a

    line she shouldn¡¯t have crossed

    My phone rings, but I ignore it. I was on a mission, and nothing would deter me from it until I fucking

    aplished it

    I drive like a damn maniac Probably breaking all the road rules. I didn¡¯t care, though. Even if I were to be

    pulled, I would sort it out within seconds I was Rowan fucking Woods. My family and I basically owned

    this damn city

    When I finally get to the Sharp¡¯s estate, I park my car and stomp towards therge doors.

    I pound on the door, not really caring what that says about me. My anger had yet to cool down. In fact, it

    seemed like it had gotten worse.

    Everything Emma has done to Ava since she came back keeps ying in my head. The snide remarks,

    lying in order to get her in trouble, her abuse and her threats. They all flood my mind, making me see

    red.

    I go to pound again, but my fist hangs mid¨Cair as the door is wrenched. Travis stands at the door looking

    pissed. Well, he can join the fucking club.

    ¡°What the hell, Rowan?¡± He asks, looking at me like he¡¯s trying to figure out what the hell I was doing

    ¡°You were pounding on the door like you wanted to break the damn thing down.¡±

    Instead of answering. I shove past him and make my way inside. I scan the ce, looking for Emma.

    Did she honestly think that she would hurt Ava, thene and hide here? She was fucking delusional if

    that¡¯s the fucking case.

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong, Ro, and what are you doing here?¡± he says. ¡°Not that I¡¯m not d to see you¡±

    ¡°Where¡¯s that fucking bitch?¡± I answer with my own question instead.

    My hands were clenched to my sides. I felt like I was going to explode with how much I was trying to

    contain the nuclear anger inside me.

    ¡°Who the hell are you talking about?¡±

    0

    Looks like he didn¡¯t know what the hell had happened. If Emma is indeed here, she probably ran straight

    to her room.

    ¡°Emma,¡± I growl. ¡°That¡¯s who the fuck I am talking about.¡±

    He stares at me in shock before his eyes shut down.

    ¡°I will not have youing to our house and calling my sister a bitch. I don¡¯t care whether you fell out of

    love with her or not, you will not disrespect her.¡±

    Iugh. The sound is chilling even to me.

    ¡°Is that so?¡± I scoff. ¡°I¡¯ll call her whatever the fuck I want. Now call the bitch down.¡±

    ¡°I swear, Rowan¡­ if you don¡¯t stop, I¡¯m going toy your ass out before kicking you out.¡±

    I take a threatening step towards him until I¡¯m right in his face.

    ¡°I¡¯d like to see you try,¡± I tell him in a cold tone.

    Je swallows before taking

    a step back. He knows very well that he can¡¯t beat me. I¡¯d have his ass in the hospital before he could

    eveny a single punch.

    ¡°Rowan, what are you doing here?¡± Her happy voicees from behind.

    I hear her running down the stairs. I try to calm myself, but it¡¯s impossible.

    I turn and face her. ¡°Just the woman I wanted to see.¡±

    She must have seen something in my eyes because she stops dead in her tracks. It¡¯s like a lightning bolt

    had struck her, and she was frozen.

    ¡°Are you okay?¡± she stammers.

    I walk towards her and grab her jaw tightly.

    ¡°You tell me, Emma,¡± I say through a clenched jaw.

    ¡°Please don¡¯t do anything rash,¡± I hear Travis say nervously.

    I shift my head without fully turning, and I re at him. He shifts ufortably but otherwise remains

    quiet

    ¡°What¡¯s going on, Rowan?¡± Emma asks, making me turn to her.

    ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± I yell, finally losing my shit at the innocent look she was giving me. ¡°What¡¯s wrong is

    that Ava was rushed to the hospital minutes after you came out of the washroom.¡±

    Travis mumbles a shocked ¡°What¡® but I just continue ignoring him. My beef wasn¡¯t with him. Unless he

    decided to interfere.

 Chapter 286

    Chapter 286

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re talking about. I just called her parents because she fainted while in the

    washroom.¡± She tries to stay calm, but I can hear the tremble in her voice.

    ¡°Is that right?¡±

    ¡°Yes. She copsed and it didn¡¯t feel right leaving her there so I called her parents over.¡±

    I¡¯ve known Emma for a long time. She might have changed, but not by much. I can easily tell that she

    was

    lying to me.

    ¡°If that¡¯s the case, then why does she have a wound on the back of her head?¡±

    She tries to remove my hands from her jaw, but I hold on steadfast. I was hurting her, but I didn¡¯t give a

    flying fuck. Not when she¡¯d hurt my woman.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re talking about. I just found her in there, lying on the floor.¡± She tries to defend

    herself, but her eyes betray her.

    ¡°And what were you doing in the same restaurant as her?¡± I wanted to get the full picture.

    Was this premeditated? Or was it something that happened on the spur of the moment?

    ¡°Christine and I met up for lunch.¡± She stutters. ¡°We didn¡¯t know that Ava and her parents would be

    eating

    there too.¡±

    She really wasn¡¯t doing a good job at trying to hide wrongdoing.

    At the mention of Christine, and knowing now that the bitch also hated Ava, a picture of what happened

    was already starting to form in my head.

    ¡°I¡¯m giving you onest chance to tell the truth about what the fuck happened, or I swear you won¡¯t like

    what I do to you,¡± I snarl, feeling my patience reach its limit.

    I swear, I don¡¯t know.¡±

    Tell me the fucking truth, Emma!¡± I yell, the sound echoing throughout the room.

    Travis tries to defend his sister ¡°Maybe she honestly doesn¡¯t know.¡±

    ¡°Shut the fuck up, Trevor. I wasn¡¯t talking to you.

    My grip on her jaw tightens. I swear I would never hit a woman, but right now I was very tempted.

    eyes fill with tears, but they don¡¯t move me. Everything I had for her was now dead and gone. He

    I didn¡¯t mean to,¡± she sobs. ¡°I swear, I didn¡¯t mean to.¡±

    ¡°What the hell did you do, Emma?¡± Travis asks, fearcing his voice.

    I

    He knows very well that nobody crosses me. Nobody hurts those I care about and gets

    way with it.

    ¡°I shoved her¡­ I can¡¯t even remember what she said to me, but I got really angry and shoved her hard.

    She hit the back of her head on the wall.¡±

    I let go of her as if she¡¯d burned. The action was so forceful that she stumbled a bit before righting

    herself.

    ¡°That wasn¡¯t so hard, was it?¡± I ask with a wicked grin.

    ¡°I swear it was an ident.¡±

    I didn¡¯t want to listen to her damn excuse. Before anyone can move, I grab her hair with a tight fist. She

    lets out a shriek of pain that does nothing to satisfy the beast inside me that demands blood.

    Travis tries to get his sister out of my grasp, but it¡¯s no use. I shove him back, making him fall on the

    couch

    ¡°Now listen to me and listen well, because this is thest time I¡¯m ever going to say this again. First, I

    don¡¯t fucking love you, Emma. In fact, I¡¯m disgusted by you and your actions. Get it in your thick head

    that

    what I felt for you is long gone. The woman who owns my fucking heart is the same one you decided to

    hurt today, and instead of admitting your actions, you decided to be a fucking coward.¡±

    She tries to speak, but I don¡¯t let her. Letting go of her hair, I grab her neck.

    Tears continue falling down her face, as if what I said was tearing her into pieces.

    ¡°Second, you made the biggest mistake of your life when you hurt Ava. I don¡¯t fucking care if it was an

    ident or not. You will pay for hurting her. Third, I don¡¯t want to see you anywhere near Ava. You see

    her in a room. Walk out. You see her walking in your direction; you avoid her. I don¡¯t care if you have to

    jump in front of a bus to do it; as long as I don¡¯t find out you were in the same vicinity as her, am I clear?¡±

    ¡°Y¨Cyes¡± she says, nodding her head eagerly as tears continue to fall down her cheeks.

    I let go of her, and she gasps. Taking in as much precious oxygen as she could.

    Turning around, I don¡¯t give her another look as I head out of the door.

    is that it? Travis asks almost fearfully. ¡°Is she forgiven?¡±

    hamoreus ar darkugh

    ¡°Not by a long shot.¡± I give Emma a disgusted look before looking at Travis, ¡°You should have warned

    your sister not to cross me. Now she¡¯s going to learn the hard way what happens when you mess with

    me.

    With that, I walk out of their house and make a call. After this, if Emma is intelligent, she¡¯ll stay away from

    me and mine, or I swear I will destroy her.

 Chapter 287

    Chapter 287

    Emma.

    My legs fail me, and I copse on the fucking floor. I¡¯m still in shock. Still unable to believe that the man l

    loved would treat me so cruelly, all because of that bitch.

    I¡¯ve seen the ruthless side of Rowan before. It wasn¡¯t as intense as now, but it was still something to be

    reckoned with. I used to find it cute. What I never imagined, though, was that I¡¯d one day be at the

    receiving end of his wrath.

    my scalp.

    My jaw hurt. So do my chin and my

    He had been so cold and so mean. His eyes have always held love, but today I saw nothing but hate and

    disgust in them.

    In his eyes, I saw death, and I just knew that if he could have his way, I would disappear from this world.

    I try to think about what went wrong, but nothing makes sense.

    Rowan hates me and wants nothing to do with me. Calvin cut me off and he also wants nothing to do

    with me. I had both of them in the palm of my hands and now I had no one.

    ¡°What the hell were you thinking, Emma?¡± Travis yells at me. ¡°I told you to stay away from Ava and

    Rowan. I told you that the man was in love with Ava. That he wanted nothing to do with you. So why the

    hell would you corner Ava in the fucking washroom like that?¡±

    His words didn¡¯t register at all. I still couldn¡¯t believe Rowan would hurt me. That he would choose that

    bitch over me.

    My heart ached. It felt like I had been shattered to pieces. Like my soul had been destroyed. It hurt so

    fucking much. I never thought that this day woulde. That the day Rowan would choose Ava over me

    would ever arrive.

    ¡°Emma?¡± Travis calls, but I just continue staring ahead.

    I couldn¡¯t stop the tears that fell down my face.

    ¡°He doesn¡¯t love me anymore,¡± I whisper as things finally start sinking in. ¡°If he did, he wouldn¡¯t have hurt

    me. He wouldn¡¯t have chosen Ava over me.

    What did she have that I didn¡¯t? How the hell was she able to win Rowan over? He used to despise her,

    couldn¡¯t even stand her presence. Now, he was defending her like she was the most precious thing in

    I just couldn¡¯t understand how things had gone so wrong. How had I lost everything when there had been

    so much hope when I came back?

    Travis pulls me up by my armpits and sits me on the sofa.

    ¡°That¡¯s what I¡¯ve been trying to tell you,¡± he sighs in defeat. ¡°But you wouldn¡¯t listen to a single word |

    said.¡±

    ¡°How is it possible? How can he love Ava of all people? How can he hurt me? He used to love me, didn¡¯t

    he?¡± I fire the questions.

    I was so confused. So conflicted about everything.

    ¡°Yes he most likely did love you, but the love you had for each other was young love. I believe that his

    true and eternal love is Ava. I think he might love Ava more than he has ever loved you. That¡¯s why he

    was

    hard on you.¡±

    The words were like a dagger being driven into my chest. I gasp at the pain because I swear I could feel

    it

    physically.

    My heart was breaking all over again. I had no way of stopping it. No way of slowing it down or making it

    better. It was like I was losing Rowan to Ava all over again. This time is worse, though, because he

    actually wants her. He loves her.

    Love. The word leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. After everything I¡¯ve been through. Everything I¡¯ve had

    to do, and all of it for what? I still lost to Ava. Still lost what mattered to me the most.

    ¡°Emma?¡± Travis calls with worrycing his voice.

    ¡°What can I do? What will I do?¡± I asked no one in particr.

    There is nothing you can do¡­ Do yourself a favor and let Rowan go. His heart no longer belongs to you.

    If you keep holding on, then you¡¯ll just cause yourself more heartbreak.¡±

    That was not the answer I wanted to hear. I can¡¯t help but wonder if he is right, though. Is it really time to

    let go of Rowan? Is his love for mepletely gone? Is there really nothing left?

    ¡°What were you doing with Christine in the first ce?¡± Travis asks, breaking me away from my thoughts.

    thought that you were done with her.¡±

    face my brother, letting his question register. It¡¯s as if all the life inside me has been drained. Like the

    Flight In me has been snuffed out.

    wanted to apologize and mend things with me.¡± I answer numbly.

    Why the hell did it feel like I was lost? Like I was floating through a dark abyss with nothing to anchor me.

    ¡°And you believe her?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± I simply reply. ¡°She looked apologetic.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t trust her if I were you, Emma. Christine has always been psychotic. Please stay away from

    her.¡±

    was about to answer when the doorbell rang. Travis gives me one final look before standing up and

    heading towards the door.

    ¡°What the hell?¡± I hear him yell, but I don¡¯t move from my spot. Not when I felt like I was dying on the

    inside.

    the

    I only look up when two pairs of boots that I don¡¯t recognize appear before me.

    ¡°Miss Emma Sharp?¡±

    I nod my head at the police officers in confusion.

    ¡°You¡¯re under arrest for the assault of Miss Ava Sharp.¡±

    I just stare at them emotionlessly as they grab and handcuff me. Travis tries to stop them, but they just

    shove him aside and take me away.

    I know that Ava isn¡¯t the one who filed a report since she was still at the hospital. So it was Rowan. It

    couldn¡¯t be anyone else.

    As they roughly shove me inside the car, I can¡¯t help but beat myself up.

    I should have just stayed at home instead of agreeing to meet Christine.

 Chapter 288

    Chapter 288

    Rowan.

    I rush back to the hospital. My anger had yet to simmer down. It was still fucking hard to believe that

    Emma would stoop that low. That she would hurt Ava simply because I no longer wanted her.

    Why was it fucking hard for her to understand that? Why couldn¡¯t she just ept that I didn¡¯t love her

    anymore?

    The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. I was gripping the steering wheel so hard that it made it

    difficult to navigate the car. Forcing myself to rx my grip, I focus on Ava¡¯s beautiful smile. Thest

    thing any of us needed was me getting into an ident.

    I continue driving as thoughts bombarded my mind. I still don¡¯t understand what went wrong with Emma.

    She used to be such a kind soul. It¡¯s one of the reasons I fell in love with her. She was an angel with a

    heart of pure gold.

    Looking at her now, I still can¡¯t believe that she¡¯s the same woman I had been madly in love. The girl I fell

    for when I was younger was nowhere to be seen.

    The girl I¡¯d fallen in love with wouldn¡¯t be so malicious that she would cause someone else harm. She

    wouldn¡¯t be so cold¨Chearted that she would ignore and push her son away. She wouldn¡¯t be cruel

    enough to threaten my son or make up lies just to get what she wanted.

    I understand that we all change. We let go of our childhood behavior and mature. Emma had changed

    for the worst. She had be someone unrecognizable. Someone I could never love.

    Ava had changed too, but unlike Emma, she had changed for the better. She¡¯d let go of her childishness

    and matured into a mother and woman any man would be proud to call his wife.

    It pisses me off that it took this long to see it. To see her worth¡­ But betterte than never.

    Right now, I would do anything to make sure she remained by my side. Including burning the whole world

    down.

    get to the hospital and park the car. Not really bothering with anyone, I head straight to the waiting room.

    Where is Iris? Task Nora the moment I get inside.

    All three of them were still there. Still seated, waiting for Ava to wake up. My only hope was that she¡¯d

    ake up okay with no more side effects.

    ping the nursery She was fed and her diapers changed, then she immediately fey

    She looked tired. Both she and Theo looked older than they were. I guess the worry of these past few

    months has taken its toll on them.

    Sighing, I stare at them. ¡°Both of you need to rest¡­ as a matter of fact, you need a damn vacation.¡±

    +to anyone ve

    I didn¡¯t want to admit but I was worried about them. These few months have brought us as close to each

    other as we can get. They still didn¡¯t trust me not to hurt their daughter again, but they

    weren¡¯t as hostile as before.

    Besides, they were soon going to be my inws because I was nning to make Ava my wife again. So

    of

    course, I was worried about them.

    ¡°We¡¯ll rest once Ava wakes up,¡± Theo simply answers.

    The man was as stubborn as a mule. There was no point in arguing with him.

    Taking a seat, I turn and face my brother.

    ¡°Don¡¯t even think about asking me to leave,¡± he warns. ¡°I¡¯m staying until I know for sure that Ava is okay¡±

    He knew so damn well. He didn¡¯t have to guess what I was thinking or what I was going to tell him to do.

    We were twins. He knew me like the back of his hand.

    I let out a breath and lean back against the stic chair. Closing my eyes, I try to rein in my emotions.

    ¡°Where did you go?¡± Gabe asks after a while.

    I open my eyes, noticing the Howell¡¯s were also staring at me with curiosity burning in their eyes.

    ¡°The Sharps¡® house to see Emma¡­ I had to confirm something.

    And what would that be?¡± Nora asks in a sharp tone.

    I re at her distrust, but at the same time, I fucking get her. I¡¯d hurt her daughter because of the love I

    used to have for Emma. Of course she would be suspicious that I¡¯d left Ava in the hospital to go see

    Emma

 Chapter 289

    Chapter 289

    That she was the one that hurt Ava¡­ She shoved Ava while they were in the bathroom, and Ava hit a

    wall. That¡¯s why Ava was bleeding. I¡¯m also guessing it¡¯s the reason why she fainted.¡± My tone hardens

    when I remember what Emma confessed.

    It made me want to wrap my hands around her neck and choke the daylights out of her.

    ¡°That fuck

    fucking spoilt brat,¡± Theo thunders furiously. ¡°What have you done about it? I hope you didn¡¯t let her

    go scot¨Cfree

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯ve taken care of things.¡± A smile ys on my lips. Emma will think twice about ever hurting

    Ava again.

    ¡°Mr. Woods?¡±

    We all turn to the nurse¡¯s voice.

    ¡°Miss Ava is awake.¡±

    We all audibly breathed a sigh of relief. I¡¯d been afraid of her not waking up.

    Her parents stand up

    ¡°Can we see her?¡± Nora asks eagerly.

    ¡°Maybe in a minute,¡± she says, turning to face me. ¡°She¡¯s asking for you.¡±

    I nod my head and follow the nurse as she leads me to Ava¡¯s room. After opening the door and letting

    me in, she leaves.

    Walking slowly towards her bed, I notice that even though she looks drowsy, she also looks on edge.

    Like she is worried about something.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± she blurts out the moment I sit down and take her hand.

    I¡¯m astounded. Not really sure what she was apologizing for. I mean, she has done nothing wrong.

    For what?¡± I ask cautiously.

    might have aggravated Emma¡­ I don¡¯t know what came over me when I said what I said.

    She looks so worned and scared. It puzzled me because I didn¡¯t understand how what she told Emma

    had to do with her apologizing,

    fou tell herr

    ¡°She kept telling me how you belong to her and that I should stop using my amnesia to force you to Stay

    with me. I don¡¯t know what came over me. I got angry and told her If indeed you were hers, then why did

    you alwayse home to me every day since I woke up?¡±

    I couldn¡¯t help it. The chuckle escaped my lips without meaning to. She looked so adorable that I wanted

    nothing more than to kiss her.

    ¡°It¡¯s not funny,¡± she frowns at me.

    ¡°It kind of is, Ava.¡±

    Sighing tiredly, she lets go of my hand and ces hers on top of the nket.

    ¡°I know you¡¯ve never liked it when I antagonized her. I¡¯m really sorry for that. We¡¯ve been doing so great,

    and I don¡¯t want that to affect us.¡±

    It finally hit me why she looked worried. In the past, I would have gone off on her for that. I would have

    gotten arigry and said some really mean things to her. She expected that to happen. She expected me to

    be mad at her.

    I cup her cheek softly before gently cing a kiss on her lips.

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to apologize for telling her the truth, Ava. I don¡¯t want her and if I did, I would be with her

    right now. You¡¯re the one my bod

    mind, and soul want. No one else. So you were right. Ie home to

    you every day because that¡¯s where I want to be. With you, Noah and Iris.¡±

    She visibly rxes.

    ¡°You really mean that?¡±

    I simply nod, letting her see the truth in my eyes. ¡°With every beat of my heart.¡±

    Thank you¡­Now I can sleep in peace. I was worried that incident would cause friction between us,¡± she

    murmurs through a yawn.

    ¡°Get some rest, my love¡­ I¡¯ll be here when you wake up.¡±

    Within seconds, she¡¯spletely out. I continue watching her as she sleeps while thanking my lucky

    stars for giving me a second chance with her.

    twas contemting all the things I was going to do to make it up to when my phone rings.

    Bait Task in irritation.

    bbes Emma has been arrested..one of my men answers

    You know what to do next.¡±

    ¡°Yes, boss¡±

    ¡°Good¡±

    With that, I hang up and smile to myself. The arrest is just the beginning.

 Chapter 290

    Chapter 290

    Ava.

    It¡¯s been about a week since I was discharged from the hospital. Everything so far has been great, even

    though I still have this small fear that everything will fall apart.

    Emma wasn¡¯t wrong that day. Rowan had always belonged to her. Sure, he is a human being and not

    simply a damn possession, but Emma always had a hold on his heart. Something I never fully

    understood.

    I used to ask myself what made her special. I wondered how she garnered such love and loyalty from a

    formidable man such as Rowan. It used to bug me. Used to annoy me. While she had his soft side, I had

    his mean and ugly side.

    Now the tables are turned, and I¡¯m not ashamed to say that I don¡¯t fully trust this turn of events and

    change of heart.

    I see the gentleness and affection in his eyes for me. He looked at me like I always wanted, but there is

    this nagging feeling that something isn¡¯t really right.

    I mean, when did this change happen? Is it before I was shot? Or after? Did the thought of losing me

    bring

    him to his senses? Making him see what was always right in front of him, or was it something else?

    He did tell me he was jealous when I started dating Ethan. So maybe that is it. Men are jealous and

    possessive creatures. He probably didn¡¯t like it that another man was taking his ce in my life when I¡¯d

    worshiped him since I was a kid.

    ¡°Ava, should I prepare a bath for Iris?¡± asks Teresa from the doorway to the living room.

    ¡°Yes, please¡±

    It was a beautiful day, and the sun was shining. It was the perfect day for my little angel to have her bath.

    Minutester, Teresa informed me that everything was ready. Picking Iris up, I head to the bathroom,

    where I check the temperature of the water before stripping Iris naked.

    Noah, as usual, was at school, and Rowan was at work. Don¡¯t get me wrong. I love spending time with

    Iris,

    but I was bored like hell.

    I¡¯m not used to just sitting around doing nothing Iris sleeps most of the time, and apart from the times

    when she wakes up hungry or wet, she rarely throws a fit

    soart from along care of Ife who is not a demanding baby, I have nothing else to do with my days.

    ke to go back to work, but for now, that is out of the question

    I smile when I realize that she¡¯s actually enjoying the bath. She seems oddly fascinated by the bubbles

    floating around her.

    Once we are done, I dry her and ce her on the changing table. Blowing kisses on her belly, my heart

    fills with happiness as I watch her smile in ecstasy. I dress her after a while, then decide to go outside

    with

    her.

    We both needed some much¨Cneeded vitamin D.

    We had not even been there for long when Teresa came rushing towards me.

    ¡°Madam, there is someone here to see you.¡±

    I sigh in exasperation. ¡°How many times will I tell you to call me by my name?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I sometimes forget,¡± she smiles sheepishly.

    I couldn¡¯t stay mad at her. She was just too sweet and kind¨Chearted. She was a whole lot better than our

    previous house manager. That woman fucking hated me. For some reason, she couldn¡¯t stand my guts. I

    honestly think it¡¯s the only reason Rowan kept her around. He knew how it bugged me that she

    disrespected me at every turn despite being Rowan¡¯s wife.

    ¡°Who is it?¡± I ask her, pulling myself from the memories.

    ¡°It¡¯s Mr. Sharp.¡±

    There was only one Mr. Sharp now. I honestly don¡¯t know if I can handle him. Travis tormented me for

    years. His disregard and coldness broke my heart. I didn¡¯t get how he could treat me so badly when I

    was his flesh and blood. Now, though, I understand. I wasn¡¯t his sister at all. That¡¯s why he didn¡¯t mind

    hurting

    me.¡°Okay, let him in,¡± I instruct her against my better judgement.

    Looking at the sky above, I pray that I haven¡¯t made a mistake. With a nod, Teresa leaves.

    ¡°Hi Ava¡±

    I turn to face the man that I¡¯ve believed was my brother for years. Only problem is that he never regarded

    me as his sister. Even when we were younger. Emma was his beloved darling sister, while I was nothing

    but the bitch that ruined his sweet sister¡¯s rtionship.

    Hello, I simply replied, not really sure what he was doing here.

    How are you?

    ¡°Cut the crap Travis, we both know you don¡¯t really care for me. So what really brought you here?¡±

    Again, I¡¯m astonished by this new and bold personality I¡¯m rocking. It¡¯s so weird, but rejuvenating at the

    same time. I guess the old me got tired of being a doormat. It¡¯s clear from how, at times like this, I don¡¯t

    hold back.

    He looks hurt, but I can¡¯t bring myself to care. Not when he never cared for me. He knew how much he

    fucking hurt me, but he didn¡¯t give a damn.

    He hesitates for a while, but finally speaks up. I sigh when I finally understand what brought him here.

    ¡°Please talk to Rowan for me. You¡¯re the only one he¡¯ll probably listen to right now,¡± he pleads, making

    me

    really curious.

    ¡°Talk to him about what exactly?¡±

    ¡°Emma was arrested after she hurt you that day. I know what she did is wrong, but it¡¯s been two weeks.

    She isn¡¯t doing well.¡±

    I¡¯m shocked. I honestly didn¡¯t give much thought to her after the incident. It never crossed my mind that

    she might be in prison.

    ¡°And what does Rowan have to do with that?¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s the one who pressed the charges against her,¡± he inhales, taking a deep breath and trying to calm

    himself. ¡°I know you and Emma don¡¯t see eye to eye, but please, Ava, she¡¯s suffering in there. The other

    prisoners are making her life a living hell.¡±

    He was on the verge of tears. I could tell that he had tried everything, including talking to Rowan. Nothing

    has worked so far.

    ¡°What about Mother? She has connections, doesn¡¯t she?¡± I question him.

    ¡°She doesn¡¯t want to get involved. She¡¯s hoping that this experience will teach Emma a lesson. That it¡¯ll

    wake her up to reality.¡±

    Wow. That is not what I was expecting at all. If anything, I thought she would be doing everything she

    could to get her beloved daughter out of prison.

    ¡°Emma is awyer. Can¡¯t she get herself out of this? Or at least get one of her associates to do it?¡±

    He shakes his head before sighing in defeat. ¡°I wish it was that easy. Rowan¡¯s word isw. Going against

    him is like going against god. It¡¯s a losing battle. We¡¯ve tried everything. Nothing has worked so far

    I bounce Iris up and down when I realize she¡¯s beginning to get fussy.

    Please, Ava. I know we¡¯ve treated you horribly in the past, and we don¡¯t deserve your kindness, but I¡¯m

    begging you. Please speak to Rowan.¡±

    I remain silent, not really knowing what to do or say. Should I really talk to Rowan on their behalf, or

    should I let Karma have her wicked way?

 Chapter 291

    Chapter 291

    I was in the kitchen contemting what to do about the Emma issue. Travis left a few hours ago after he

    basically begged the entire time. It was now four, and I expected Noah toe home anytime now.

    Rowan would be home at five or six, so I still had time to think.

    Emma and I never really saw eye¨Cto¨Ceye. Mostly because I was jealous she had the guy I wanted. She

    used to mainly ignore me and behave like I didn¡¯t exist. The only time she was violent and hostile

    towards

    me was after she found out Rowan and I slept together.

    I don¡¯t me her, though. I would have reacted in the same manner. So I¡¯ve never really held a grudge

    for the way she treated me after she found out the truth. This new Emma, though, is different. I honestly

    don¡¯t understand if her heartbreak drove her to be this way or if something else happened along the

    way. 2

    Travis, on the other hand, has always been hostile. His snide remarks and his angry and disgusted

    gazes,

    not to mention how he would literally go out of his way to emotionally hurt me.

    All these make me question whether I should help him or not. I mean, does he even have any right to

    ask

    this of me? And would it be cruel or selfish of me if I didn¡¯t talk to Rowan on their behalf? It¡¯s not like I

    owe them anything in any case.

    A frustrated scream, followed by a loud bang, pulls me from my thoughts. I get down from the bar stool,

    leaving my half¨Ceaten bowl of ice cream, and rush to the living room.

    I¡¯m surprised to find Noah, who looked as if he was about to murder someone.

    Throwing his bag pack angrily on the sofa, he lets out yet another growl filled with anger and frustration.

    ¡°What is it, my love?¡± I ask gently while approaching him cautiously. ¡°What¡¯s got you so angry?¡±

    He looks up at me. I see the fire burning behind grey eyes that are simr to his dad. Noah is chilled, and

    nothing ever fazes the boy. So whatever made him angry must be pretty significant.

    ¡°It¡¯s that girl again!¡± he yells and starts pacing.

    ¡°What girl?¡±

    ¡°Sierral

    He shouts her name as if it were something vile and disgusting. Like he couldn¡¯t even stand the taste of it

    on his lips.

    The girl who left you a note?¡±

    He nods his head.

    ¡°Okay so what did she did this time?¡± I ask curiously.

    Whoever this girl is, I have to hand it to her. She was able to ruffle my boy¡¯s feather. That¡¯s an

    aplishment.

    Pink taints his cheek as he mumbles some words.

    ¡°You¡¯ve got to speak up, Noah. I didn¡¯t get a word you said¡±

    He inhales sharply before saying. ¡°She said that one day she¡¯s going to marry me and that we¡¯ll have lots

    of babies.¡±

    I swear I try to keep all seriousness and any amusement from reflecting on my face, but it¡¯s a damn

    losing

    battle.

    ¡°Mom!¡± He stares daggers at me. ¡°This isn¡¯t funny.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Noah.¡± I pull him to me, but he resists my embrace.

    ¡°I¡¯m guessing you don¡¯t like her?¡±

    ¡°Of course not. I find her really annoying; in fact, I hate her,¡± he pauses. ¡°If I ever marry someone, then

    it¡¯ll be someone like you. ssy, elegant, and beautiful. Someone really smart. Not a girl who finds mud

    and

    bugs interesting.¡±

    I just stare at him, noticing the stubborn glint in his eyes. Noah was going to be a force to be reckoned

    with when he grows. I mean, damn, he¡¯s only ten and already knows what he wants in life and his wife.

    ¡°Did you talk to her like I told you?¡±

    ¡°Yes, but she wouldn¡¯t listen.¡±

    I honestly didn¡¯t know how to handle the situation. Aside from annoying him, Sierra didn¡¯t seem like she

    was causing any harm.

    ¡°First of all, you shouldn¡¯t hate on anybody¡­¡°.

    But she¡­¡±

    No, buts, Noah¡± I scold him. ¡°I¡¯ve already told you this multiple times. Hating someone takes a lot of

    energy which would have been used in doing something productive.¡±

    Reluctantly, he nods his head.

    ¡°Second of all, she probably just has a crush on you. It¡¯s normal for both boys and girls to have crushes

    on each other; it shouldn¡¯t worry you because crushes fade after some time, especially as you grow

    older, so don¡¯t let it get to you. If it bes too much, just talk to your teacher about it, okay?¡±

    Well, I hope that I am right and that it¡¯s just a stupid crush. If it¡¯s something else, something like what I

    felt for Rowan at that age, then the girl will be in serious trouble. I know firsthand what unrequited love

    feels

    like. It hurts like a motherfucking bitch.

    ¡°Qkay, Mom,¡± he says after a while. This time, more calmly.

    I hug him. ¡°Okay, now go change out of your uniform.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Mom,¡± he says, kissing my cheek. ¡°You always make me feel better.¡±

    With that, he takes his bag and runs upstairs, just as the door opens and Rowan walks in.

    ¡°What are you doing, kneeling on the floor?¡± He looks puzzled as he stares at me.

    ¡°You¡¯re home early.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­I decided toe finish the rest of my work at home,¡± he replies. ¡°You still haven¡¯t answered my

    question.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I was having a talk with Noah. Looks like there is a girl who has a crush on him and won¡¯t leave him

    alone, though ording to him, he doesn¡¯t like her much.¡±

    I expected a lot of things from Rowan. What I didn¡¯t expect was him pulling me up from the ground and

    kissing the daylight out of me.

    When he finally pulls away, he is grinning while I¡¯m doing all I can to recover from the scorching kiss.

    ¡°It reminds me of us. How you were always up in my space and following me around. I used to hate it

    back then, and it drove me fucking insane, but now I can¡¯t get enough of you¡­ Maybe our son has met

    his

    soulmate.¡±

    I just smiled, not saying a word. He gives me a peck before telling me that he¡¯ll be in his office. He

    leaves,

    and I¡¯m left standing in the middle of the living room, my heart in a tight fist.

    Rowan is right. This is how we began.

    My only prayer is that, for Sierra¡¯s sake, what she feels is nothing more than a crush, because I couldn¡¯t

    bear it if history repeated itself with our son and a girl was hurt in the process like I was.

 Chapter 292

    Chapter 292

    ¡°Are you okay, baby?¡± -¨¢sk Noah as we have our dinner.

    Rowan usually joins us for dinner, but not today. There was a business proposal he was going through.

    Not that he needs it, given that he has already aplished so much for thepany, but the

    opportunity was too great to pass up.

    He was on the verge of acquiring two of the top businesspanies in Paris. The merger, ording to

    him, would take theirpany to new levels. That merger would see the Wood¡¯spany rise to the top

    three most influential and sessfulpanies in the world.

    ¡°Nothing, Mom, just thinking of how to deal with Sierra.¡± Noah mumbles, pushing his food around on the

    te.

    The matter has him stressed; it¡¯s clear to see. I just don¡¯t know how to help him. I don¡¯t want to get

    involved unless maybe Sierra crosses a limit, though my heart doubts she would. I also want Noah to

    learn to be independent. I don¡¯t want him to always rely on me or his father to solve his problems for him.

    ¡°Have youe up with anything so far?¡± I ask, pushing my empty te.

    ¡°Not really,¡± he sighs in defeat. ¡°I guess I¡¯ll just have to avoid her as much as I can. It would be so much

    easier if, by some miracle, she got transferred to another ss.¡±

    ¡°I could always ask the principal to transfer you,¡± I suggest.

    I mean, if this bothered him this much, it¡¯s the least I could do. I wanted Noah to focus on his studies. Not

    to spend most of time trying to avoid a girl that seemed hell bent on attaching herself to him like an

    octopus.

    I chuckle internally at that. Knowing very well that I couldn¡¯t me. There was just something about

    these Wood men. Rowanpletely hypnotized me when I was a kid. I think the same thing was

    happening to Sierra.

    ¡°No!¡± His voice is firm as he all but screams the words. ¡°I don¡¯t want to leave my friends. Gunner is also

    in my ss. I don¡¯t want to be separated from him.¡±

    I nod my head in understanding. ¡°Okay¡±

    When I learned about Gunner, I was stunned. I¡¯ve yet to meet the boy, but I was shocked that Calvin¡¯s

    son was best friends with my son. Calvin and Rowan despised each other in high school. It¡¯s really a

    twist of fate that their sons ended up being the best of friends.

    He doesn¡¯t call me mommy as much as he did when he was younger, but every time he does, it just

    melts my heart into aplete mush.

    Secondster, Teresa shows up and clears the table. I try to help, but the stubborn woman refuses.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to sleep,¡± Noah informs me.

    ¡°Okay, my love¡­ I¡¯ll be there in a few, once I¡¯m done checking on your sister.¡±

    He yawns and then nods his head before going upstairs. After making sure everything is okay and that

    Teresa doesn¡¯t need help, I head on up.

    I check on Iris only to find her soundly asleep. I¡¯d feed her right before dinner, and she fell asleep

    immediately. Quietly, I leave her room and head over to Noah¡¯s.

    ¡°Noah?¡± I call, but don¡¯t get an answer.

    I was sprawled on top of the covers,pletely out. I guess Sierra¡¯s antics not only pissed him off, but

    also drained him.

    Walking slowly further into his room, I get him under the covers. Once he is settled, I cover him with his

    Avenger¡¯s nket.

    He was a superhero fan, but then again, which boy his age isn¡¯t?

    I leave his room after kissing his forehead and making sure he¡¯s well tucked in.

    The house is so damn quiet now. While Teresa was finishing up before heading to her quarters, I decided

    to take a bath. The issue of Emma was still on my mind. I was still unable to decide what to do about it.

    I thought the shower would clear my head, but it was in vain. By the time I¡¯m done, I¡¯m still as confused

    as I was after Travis begged me for help.

    I put on my sleeping gown, then my robe. Since Rowan wasn¡¯t here yet, I decide to check whether he

    was almost done with work.

    ¡°I¡¯ll be leaving now, Ava,¡± Teresa tells me as I pass by the kitchen.

 Chapter 293

    Chapter 293

    ¡°Has Rowan eaten?¡±

    ¡°Not yet; he told me that he would eat after he was done and that I shouldn¡¯t trouble myself.¡±

    I nod my head. ¡°Okay, then, have a goodnight.¡±

    ¡°Goodnight too¡±

    After she leaves, I make a te for Rowan. Who knows how long it would be before he finished up. He

    couldn¡¯t run on an empty stomach. Once I¡¯m done, I take the te and head to his office.

    The door was open, but I still knocked.

    He looks up from the papers he was going through. Though he looked tired, probably fromck of sleep,

    he still looked so fucking hot.

    ¡°You know you don¡¯t have to knock, Ava,¡± he says as he leans back against his chair.

    I want to remind him that it wasn¡¯t like that before, but I refrain from it. In the past, he wouldn¡¯t even allow

    me anywhere near his office. Especially when he was inside it.

    ¡°I brought you dinner,¡± I tell him, trying to push the past away.

    Crossing the room, I ce the te of food in front of him. I was about to round the desk and sit on one

    of the chairs, but he stops me.

    He grasps my hand and pulls me towards him, making me sit on hisp. Not that I minded one bit.

    ¡°Hmm, I¡¯ve missed you¡­ I can¡¯t wait for this deal to be sealed so I can spend quality time with you¡± he

    murmurs, his voice pulling me into a seductive web.

    Unconsciously, I shift around in hisp drawing a groan from him. His arm tightens around my waist as

    he runs his nose along my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

    ¡°You smell divine.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s my body wash,¡± I mumble unintelligently.

    Damn it. I need to beid. I wanted sex so bad, but I didn¡¯t know how to ask him for it or how to approach

    him about it. He was always the one who initiated sex before. I tried once, and he rejected me. I¡¯ve never

    tried again. I always waited for him toe to me, so that¡¯s what I¡¯m still doing.

    ¡°You need to eat, Rowan,¡± I tell him, breaking the spell.

    It would be so easy to take advantage of his tired state. All I had to do was straddle him, open his zip,

    and push my panties aside. Given how wet I was, he would slide inside me easily, and we would both get

    what

    we wanted.

    I can¡¯t do that, though. This merger was important to him. I couldn¡¯t jeopardize that for sex. Maybe when

    his head isn¡¯t upied, I¡¯ll try seducing him, but not right now.

    He sighs, but doesn¡¯t say anything. After a while, he begins to eat. I try to get up, but he refuses to let me

    go.¡°Can I ask you for a favor?¡± I ask after a while.

    He nods.

    ¡°Can you please let Emma go?¡± I plead gently.

    This was the right thing to do. I couldn¡¯t teach Noah about hatred while I harbored hatred in my heart. It

    wouldn¡¯t do me any good. I didn¡¯t want to hold grudges. I had Rowan. My focus was on building my

    marriage with him.

    The spoon drops from his hand. ¡°Absolutely no¡±

    ¡°Please? What she did was wrong, but I don¡¯t want to hold on to bitterness and anger. I don¡¯t want her

    punished because I believe that karma is real. I¡¯m doing this for me, Rowan, not her or Travis. I want to

    heal and move forward and I can only do that by letting go of the past.¡±

    ¡°But she hurt you,¡± he sighs, refusing to let the issue go.

    ¡°Yes, and ording to what Travis told me, for two weeks she¡¯s been paying for that mistake. She¡¯s

    probably learned her lesson.¡±

    He is stubborn, and I can see the reluctance in his eyes. He was fighting the truth of my words.

    ¡°Please?¡± I plead sweetly, cupping his cheek gently.

    His eyes focus on mine, and the moment they do, they soften. Love takes over.

    I watch as this fierce man melts in front of me. It¡¯s a sight to behold, and I cherish each second I get to

    see it.

    ¡°Fine,¡± he agrees. ¡°But on one condition.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± I ask curiously.

    He smiles mischievously, making me want to kiss him.

    ¡°That you go on a date with me¡­we¡¯ve never gone on a date. It¡¯s time I changed that¡±

    This time I¡¯m the one that smiles, as happiness and excitement fill me.

 Chapter 294

    Chapter 294

    Hey my lovely readers, I do hope that so far this festive holiday has been great on your side. I came here

    to address a few things. First, it¡¯s about the updates. I¡¯ve been getting someints about that. I

    want you to understand that apart from being a writer I¡¯m also a human being. I have a demanding job,

    school and a family to take care. Sometimes it¡¯s hard to juggle all of them all at once, so my hope is that

    you¡¯ll be understanding.

    Second, I¡¯ve also been getting a lot ofints about dragging out the book. I know you¡¯re entitled to

    your opinion so I don¡¯t begrudge you on that. I also get you. I really do, but I want you to kindly

    understand something, I could find a way to end it right now, I mean after all, Rowan and Ava are at a

    sort of a good ce. I could end it in like five chapters but that won¡¯t be satisfactory to me. I don¡¯t want to

    end the book abruptly. I don¡¯t want to end the book while I feel that everything has not been addressed. I

    take pride in my work and those who have read my previous works know that I finish my books smoothly,

    because I don¡¯t like to leave my readers wondering about things. In other words I don¡¯t like loose ends. If

    you¡¯ve read this far, all I ask is for your patience. I already said that this won¡¯t be a thousands of chapters

    kind of book and I mean to keep my word on that.

    That being said, I want to inform you all that I¡¯ll be taking a break for the holidays to just rx and spend

    time with my family. On Christmas I¡¯ll post a free chapter so be on the look out for that. While I¡¯m away I¡¯ll

    think of plots to move the story forward so I can give it the ending it deserves.

    Ps; I read yourments and some of you also want a side story on Gabe. I¡¯m still thinking about it,

    cause I honestly hadn¡¯t thought about it. I¡¯ll try and think of something. Noah¡¯s book is definitely going t o

    happen since I already have a story line for it.

    That¡¯s all for now. Thanks for being the best readers any author can ask for. Take care and be safe this

    festive season

 Chapter 295

    Chapter 295

    (Sorry about the previous page, a mistake was made when posting it.)

    Hey my lovely readers, I do hope that so far this festive holiday has been great on your side. I came here

    to address a few things. First, it¡¯s about the updates. I¡¯ve been getting someints about that. I

    want you to understand that apart from being a writer I¡¯m also a human being. I have a demanding job,

    school and a family to take care. Sometimes it¡¯s hard to juggle all of them all at once, so my hope is that

    you¡¯ll be understanding.

    Second, I¡¯ve also been getting a lot ofints about dragging out the book. I know you¡¯re entitled to

    your opinion so I don¡¯t begrudge you on that. I also get you. I really do, but I want you to kindly

    understand something, I could find a way to end it right now, I mean after all, Rowan and Ava are at a

    sort of a good ce. I could end it in like five chapters but that won¡¯t be satisfactory to me. I don¡¯t want to

    end the book abruptly. I don¡¯t want to end the book while I feel that everything has not been addressed. I

    take pride in my work and those who have read my previous works know that I finish my books smoothly,

    because I don¡¯t like to leave my readers wondering about things. In other words I don¡¯t like loose ends. If

    you¡¯ve read this far, all I ask is for your patience. I already said that this won¡¯t be a thousands of chapters

    kind of book and I mean to keep my word on that.

    That being said, I want to inform you all that I¡¯ll be taking a break for the holidays to just rx and spend

    time with my family. On Christmas I¡¯ll post a free chapter so be on the look out for that. While I¡¯m away I¡¯ll

    think of plots to move the story forward so I can give it the ending it deserves.

    Ps; I read yourments and some of you also want a side story on Gabe. I¡¯m still thinking about it,

    cause I honestly hadn¡¯t thought about it. I¡¯ll try and think of something. Noah¡¯s book is definitely going t o

    happen since I already have a story line for it.

    That¡¯s all for now. Thanks for being the best readers any author can ask for. Take care and be safe this

    festive season ¡­

 Chapter 296

    Emma.

    limp slowly towards my cell. Prison is hell, that¡¯s for sure. My job is to prove the innocent and send

    criminals to prison. I never thought that I would one day end up here.

    I haven¡¯t had a good night¡¯s sleep since I arrived here about two weeks ago. It¡¯s like the moment I walked

    into the cell, I was an enemy to all the inmates. For some reason, they hated me, and they proved just

    how much they did.

    In the back of my mind, I know this is all Rowan¡¯s doing. I should never have crossed him. I should never

    have underestimated what he felt for Ava. The Rowan I knew. My Rowan. He would never have hurt me.

    He would never have done anything to cause me pain.

    It¡¯s safe to say that the boy I loved and treasured all these years is long gone. The boy I fell in love with

    was nowhere in sight. In his ce was a cold¨Chearted man who would hurt me because I dared to cross

    Ava.

    I sigh as I finally get to my cell. I was tired and worn out. I haven¡¯t had a decent shower or meal since I

    stepped into this ce.

    Every time I was given a meal, one of my cellmates would either knock it out of my hands, spit on it, or

    forcefully take it from me. I¡¯ve barely had enough food to keep a dog alive these past two weeks.

    As for the shower, most of the time they would just push me out of the cubicles before I could shower. It

    was all horrifying and terrifying at the same time. All I wanted was to go home, but I¡¯m not even sure

    that¡¯s possible anymore.

    ¡°Look¡± Joy, one of the meaner inmates says. ¡°Our bitch princess is back¡±

    Whoever her mother is, was wrong about naming her joy. There was nothing joyous about Joy. She

    didn¡¯t bring joy or happiness to those around her. Instead, she brought nothing but misery

    I can¡¯t tell her that, though. Thest time I tried standing up for myself, I ended up with a ck eye. I¡¯m

    really not in the mood to go through that again. The woman was solid as a fucking rock. She had the

    build of a man, so you can imagine how much it fucking hurt when she hit me.

    Instead of answering, I remain quiet. It usually doesn¡¯t work, but I still think that keeping my head down

    andying low is the best course of action.

    I try to maneuver around her so that I can go to my bed but she blocks my path.

    ¡°I¡¯m talking to you bitch¡± she snarls right before she shoves me.

    I wasn¡¯t prepared for it and because of my hurt leg, I fall on my butt hard. The pain that shoots from my

    tail bone and through my spine is intense. Biting my lips, I stop myself from whimpering. It wouldn¡¯t do

    me

    good to show any weakness.

    I try to get up, but it¡¯s nearly impossible, especially with my leg. I twisted it when another inmate tripped

    me as I was heading to sit at a table in the cafeteria. When I fell, nobody helped me up. Instead, all of

    them just pointed fingers whileughing as I was wallowing in pain.

    I bit my lips even harder to stop myself from crying. The nurse had told me that my ankle would heal

    better if I rested it and avoided more damage to it. That was now impossible, given that I fell at an

    awkward angle again.

    ¡°The idiot still thinks she¡¯s something,¡± B, another inmate, says. ¡°She doesn¡¯t realize that in here she¡¯s

    nothing, just like the rest of us.¡±

    I don¡¯t look up. Instead, I just focus on my ankle. It was now red and swollen. Maybe after they leave me

    alone, I can go back to the nurse and have her look at it.

    I was so focused on my leg that I didn¡¯t notice the two women closing in on me. I was taken by surprise

    when one of them grabbed my hair in a tight grip. This time, I don¡¯t hold back. I let out a painful and

    shocked gasp.

    ¡°Please leave me alone¡± I stammer, feeling so tired and drained.

    I knew I should have just kept quiet because Joy smiles cruelly right before she ps me hard across the

    face. She raises her palm again and I raise my hands to try to deflect her another of her p.

    ¡°What the hell is going on here?¡± the booming voice makes them step away from me in fear.

    I fold into myself. Shaking like a damn leaf. I honestly don¡¯t know how long I can keep this up. The

    people here were out to get me and I was afraid that I would eventually end up dead.

    ¡°Nothing, we were just having some fun. Weren¡¯t we Emma?¡± B says with a fake smile.

    I don¡¯t answer. We all knew that nothing they were doing to me was fun.

    ¡°Get up Emma, you¡¯reing with me¡±

    I don¡¯t argue. It was probably Travis who hade to visit. I struggle, but eventually I manage to get up

    and follow the warden out.

    Today is your lucky day,¡± she says as we walk.

    instead of answering, I just snorted. There was definitely nothing lucky about today

    When we get to a private room, she opens the door, revealing Travis. The tears I was holding begin

    falling

    down my cheek as I rush to him. Well, wobble is more like it.

    He takes me into his arms and hugs me, making me feel safe. I let out my pain and frustration. All the

    anger and hurt. I cry into his chest until I have no more tears to shed.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay, little sis, I¡¯m here to take you home,¡± he whispersfortingly in my ear.

    At first, his words didn¡¯t register, but when they did, I lifted my head from his chest and just stared at him.

    ¡°Really? How did you do it?¡± I ask.

    We had tried everything. I had tried everything. Nothing worked and no one was willing to go against

    Rowan. For the first time in my life I witnessed firsthand how ruthless and bloodthirsty Rowan could be.

    ¡°I talked to Ava and asked her to have a word with Rowan,¡± he shrugs. ¡°At first, I didn¡¯t think that she

    would, given how cold she was towards me, but today I was called to pick up your release papers. The

    judge said that Rowan was doing this as a favor for his wife.¡±

    I just nod my head. I honestly don¡¯t care if Ava talked on my behalf. As long as I was free, it didn¡¯t matter

    at all.

    After that I¡¯m taken to the office and I¡¯m asked to sign some documents. Then I¡¯m given a chance to

    shower after which everything including the clothes I was wearing the day I was arrested are given back

    to me. When I¡¯m done, I meet up with Travis and together we walk out of the prison.

    It feels so fucking great to see the outside. To breathe in the cool and fresh air.

    I give the building onest look. Being there has opened my eyes to a lot of things.

    It¡¯s time to ept that Rowan is no longer mine. If he can go to such great lengths to hurt me because I

    hurt Ava, then I need to ept defeat. I may have had his heart once, but it no longer beats for me. It

    was hard to swallow the bitter pill, but i had no choice. I can no longer hold on to something that is dead

    and

    gone.

    Rowan is my past, and he has probably been for a very long time. It was time to move on. It was time to

    acknowledge that we were probably never meant to be end game.

    As that truth settles into my soul, I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

    I gel into the car with Travis. He drives off, and I smile, feeling like the chains around me had been

    What I didn¡¯t notice was that an enemy was also smiling. One that was plotting against me. What none of

    us noticed was the enemy that was nning to ruin my life.

 Chapter 297

    Chapter 297

    Chapter 0297

    Ava

    ¡°Mom, can Gunnere for a sleepover this weekend?¡± Noah asks, but my mind is billions of gxies

    away.

    I was filled with nervousness. I know I said I¡¯d visit Ethan when I was ready, but the situation has

    changed. For some reason, the issue keeps bugging me. Keeps infiltrating my mind day in and day out.

    I haven¡¯t had the chance to talk to Rowan about it. He clearly hates Ethan. It doesn¡¯t take a genius to

    figure that out. It¡¯s not that I want to ask his permission or anything like that. I will still go to see Ethan,

    whether he likes it or not.

    What worries me is his reaction. Rowan loves Iris like his own. It¡¯s clear to see that, but like I said, it¡¯s

    also clear he despises her father. I¡¯m sure he won¡¯t be too happy about me visiting Ethan. What I¡¯m not

    sure is if he¡¯ll hate the idea because he loathes Ethan or because of something else. Maybe it¡¯s both.

    ¡°Mom, are you even listening?¡±

    Noah¡¯s frustrated voice brings me back to the present. I hadn¡¯t even noticed that I had zoned out again.

    ¡°What were you saying?¡±

    He stares at me with his scrutinizing gray eyes. His mannerism and behavior are so simr to his

    father¡¯s.

    I sometimes find it uncanny how alike they were.

    He repeats the question after looking upwards. As if he were praying for patience or divine intervention.

    Letting out a sigh, I face my son, not really sure how to answer him. I get that Gunner is his best friend,

    but

    I also know that Rowan doesn¡¯t like his dad. Or at least, he never used to like him. I¡¯m not sure if things

    have changed now that their sons are friends.

    The memories of how Calvin and Rowan got into pis sing contests over Emma back when they were in

    school assault my mind. I didn¡¯t want to think of those days. I didn¡¯t want to think about the time Emma

    once had Rowan¡¯s heart in her palm.

    It still hurts me to know that. Still inflicts unimaginable pain when I remember the years he was cold

    towards me. Sure, things have changed now, but I can¡¯t help but have doubts. They gue my mind

    even when we are asleep, and he¡¯s holding me close to him.

    It¡¯s a constant battle. Especially when I don¡¯t understand what changed or what pushed him to abandon

    his love for Emma and choose me. It also doesn¡¯t help that I know he¡¯s keeping something from me.

    Lying to me.

    Part of me is afraid that this is all a dream and that I¡¯ll wake up and everything will fade. The other part

    is afraid that he is ying with me. Toying with me. I may be overthinking, but I¡¯m afraid that he is

    ying his ultimate ace card.

    I mean, what better way to get revenge on the woman who hurt you? y the devoted, loving man that

    she always dreamed of, and then, when she falls for the act, rip her world apart by leaving her and

    telling her that it was nothing but a cruel joke. Nothing but revenge for the years he missed having the

    woman he

    Noves with him.

    ¡°Mom!¡±

    ¡°Sorry, my love. I¡¯m just a bit distracted today.¡±

    He looked pis sed, and Ipletely understand why. Pushing those memories and doubts to the back

    of my mind, I focus on my son.

    Whether Rowan¡¯s intentions were pure or not, it didn¡¯t matter. If he does hurt me, I¡¯ll do what I¡¯ve

    always done. Pick up the broken pieces and push forward. It will hurt like a bi tch, but I also know that I

    can live with a broken and dead heart.

    Noah let¡¯s out a frustrated breath. ¡°So, is it okay for Gunner toe over?¡±

    ¡°How about I talk to your dad when he gets home?¡± I pull him to me, needing to feel him so I can

    anchor myself to the present. ¡°If he agrees, then we can have him over the weekend.¡±

    His frustrations melt away, and he gives me a blinding smile. I smile back, thinking of how he¡¯ll give

    many girls sleepless nights when he gets older. Just like his father and uncle did.

    ¡°Thank you, mom,¡± he says, kissing my cheek. ¡°I¡¯m going to see if Iris is awake. I¡¯ve missed her so

    much.¡±

    ¡°Okay¡±

    I watch him as he runs up the stairs. I was so happy and proud of how he loved and cared for Iris. He

    was also really protective of her. It soothed my heart to know that Iris had someone like Noah in her

    life. I didn¡¯t. Travis never cared for me, but I am d that Noah cares for his sister. I don¡¯t know if he

    knows that she¡¯s his half-sister. Deep down, I know he does. He¡¯s a very sharp boy, so I know he has

    already figured out that Rowan isn¡¯t Iris¡¯s dad. This just makes me love him more. It makes me happy

    that he has epted her, even though she has a different dad.

    ¡°What are you thinking so hard about?¡± His deep voice startles me, making me jump a little.

    ¡°You¡¯re home¡±

    He drops on the couch next to me. Without warning, he pulls onto hisps before proceeding to kiss

    me

    His kisses and the intimacy between us are something I will never get used to. Sure, we haven¡¯t had

    sex, but the way he kisses me is enough to let me know that the hunger burning inside him is fierce.

    He pushes his tongue inside my mouth. I open for him. Getting lost in his masculine scent, the way our

    mouths are meshed, and how his tongue tangles with mine. Ipletely forget that we are in the living

    room, where Noah could walk in on us at any time.

    My nipples are pointed peaks. Straining against my bra. I rub my as s against his hardness. Wishing

    that our clothes would magically disappear and I would have him inside me. The groan he lets out at

    my teasing travels all the way down to my c lit, causing a gush of wetness to gush out of me.

    Dam n it. I really need to do something about the sexual tension between us. Rowan seems to have

    pledged celibacy for some unknown reason. I didn¡¯t know how to break down his defenses.

    Just like always, he pulls away, ending the scorching kiss. Heys his head against mine as we both try

    to catch our breath.

    When the haze clears, I get off hisp and stand up. He was still hard, and I was still turned on. Sitting

    on hisp like that while feeling the evidence of his arousal would only distract me from what I needed

    to say.

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± he asks, as if sensing the change in the atmosphere.

    He shifts in his seat, as if trying to getfortable or get rid of his hard on. The bulging tent in his

    trouser pants was pretty obvious. For a moment, it distracts me as I think of how great his c ock would

    feel in my mouth.

    I shake the thought out of my mind,pletely shocked at the image ying in my head. F uck, it was

    so out of character for me.

    ¡°Ava?¡±

    I turn to face my husband, forcing myself to focus on the issue at hand.

    ¡°We need to talk.¡±

 Chapter 298

    Chapter 298

    ¡°It¡¯s never a good thing when someone starts a sentence like that.¡± His brows pull together in a frown

    as he stares at me. It was almost as if he was trying to figure out if he did something wrong.

    I don¡¯t say anything. First of all, I was trying toe down from the high of sexual arousal. Second, I

    didn¡¯t yet know how to broach the subject with him. I was trying my best to put my thoughts in order.

    ¡°You¡¯re scaring me, Ava,¡± he says, shocking me and making me scoff a bit.

    ¡°Nothing scares you.¡±

    And it was the dam n truth. Nothing ever scared the man standing in front of me. Have things changed

    that much? Did something happen during the period I couldn¡¯t remember to make him afraid?

    Standing up, he walks the short distance to where I am standing. Cupping my cheeks, he gives me a

    small, quick kiss. It wasn¡¯t as powerful as the one we had moments ago, but it still weakened my knees

    ¡°Before, yes, but now? Now I¡¯m scared of losing you,¡± he pauses as his eyes drill into mine. Showing

    me the truth and sincerity in his words. ¡°I¡¯m scared of living in a world without you.¡±

    I¡¯m taken aback by his confession. Never in a million years did I ever think I would hear Rowan utter

    such sweet words at me. It felt really good to hear them. It felt like a dreame true.

    I used to lie in bed every night, thinking how good it would feel if Rowan wanted me. I wanted him to

    love me and care for me. I wanted to be the one that his heart beats for. I always imagined how happy I

    would feel when he told me sweet things.

    It was happening now, and it has been happening since I woke up. I can¡¯t stop the flutter in my heart or

    the dam n butterflies that are causing havoc inside me.

    ¡°You¡¯ll never lose me, Rowan.¡± I finally get my mouth to move and say something.

    I see the small doubt filter in his eyes. It puzzles me that he doesn¡¯t believe me. That part of him doubts

    and thinks that I¡¯ll ever leave him. Why would I? Especially now that I have everything I¡¯ve always

    wanted and desired.

    Unless he takes the first step and walks away from me, I don¡¯t think I ever will. I can¡¯t imagine anything

    that would cause me to walk away from this version of Rowan. ¡°Trust me,¡± I tell him while holding his

    hand. ¡°There¡¯s nothing that can take me away from you. Not even death His eyes continue shift

    between mine. As if he was trying to search for the truth of my words in them. I let from the depths of

    my soul. A small smile ys on his lips secondster, and I know I¡¯ve convinced him. He goes to kiss

    me, but I stop him. ¡°I¡¯m not going to let you distract me¡± I say with determination. ¡°We really do need to

    talk¡±

    He nods his head and then takes my hand. His eyes search the living room. Theynd on the baby

    monitor. Without a second thought he grabs it and silently leads us to his office.

    ¡°So, what did you want us to talk about?¡± he asks once we get to his office.

    The door is locked, and I watch him as he confidently sits down.

    ¡°I want to go see Ethan,¡± I say, deciding to rip it off like a freaking band aid.

    ¡°Over my dead body.¡± The words are growled rather than said.

    The calm atmosphere suddenly bes charged. The peacefulness and calmness that hade

    over himpletely disappears. In its ce is a cold mask and anger.

    I feel myself shutting down. I would have epted his answer like I normally would, but something

    inside me won¡¯t let me bow down to him. I can¡¯t put my finger on it, but something inside me has

    changed.

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t really asking you. I was just informing you as a freaking courtesy. I re at him, letting him

    see my displeasure. I knew this wasn¡¯t going to be easy, but there was no d amn way I was going to

    back down.

    ¡°You¡¯re not going to see him, Ava. That¡¯s final¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s Iris¡¯s father for f ucks sake, Rowan¡­ Other than chaining me to the f ucking bed, I don¡¯t see how

    else you¡¯ll stop me from seeing him.¡±

    ¡°That can be arranged.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not serious!¡±

    I stare at him, shocked. That he would honestly consider chaining me to a bed boggles mepletely.

    He was truly out of his freaking mind, and all because I wanted to see and meet the father of my

    daughter?

    ¡°I am,¡± he says through clenched teeth.

    Sighing, I throw my hands in the air in frustration. ¡°Give me one good reason why I shouldn¡¯t go. He

    ¡°Theo and Nora can always take Iris for a visit. You don¡¯t have to be the one to meet with him¡±

    Did his hate honestly run that deep, or was it something else? I get that Ethan and I had something, but

    it was clearly over, just like what was between him and Emma was over. So what was the problem?

    Didn¡¯t he trust me around Ethan?

 Chapter 299

    Chapter 299

    ¡°That is not an answer,¡± I snap

    His eyes are like a whirlpool of waves. A storm was raging behind the gray pools. They seemed to be

    beckoning me to their depths. Trapping me, refusing to let me go.

    It¡¯s then that I see it. A crac k in his armor. The reason why he didn¡¯t want me to see Ethan.

    For the second time today, I¡¯m shocked.

    ¡°You¡¯re afraid, aren¡¯t you?¡± I ask softly while still trying to wrap my head around the discovery.

    He shifts and turns away, but it¡¯s toote. I¡¯ve already seen the fear in his eyes. There is no way to get

    back from that.

    Approaching, I gentlyy my hand against his shoulders. ¡°Rowan, talk to me¡±

    I find myself massaging his shoulder when I feel the tension in his shoulders. I just wanted to

    understand.

    He lets out the deep breath he was holding after a while, then finally turns to face. For the first time

    since I¡¯ve known Rowan, I see insecurity in the depths of his eyes. ¡°You¡¯re right, Ava. I¡¯m afraid¡± he

    sighs almost tiredly. ¡°Afraid that you¡¯ll fall for him. That you¡¯ll choose him over me like I chose Emma

    over and over again. I¡¯m f ucking afraid that one day you¡¯ll wake up and decide that I¡¯m not worthy of

    you, not good enough and that you¡¯ll leave. I don¡¯t think my heart can bare it if you left me, especially

    for him¡± His words and the way he looks so broken right now brings tears to my eyes. I¡¯m mesmerized

    by the man standing before me. He¡¯s always been so strong, so sure and confident, but now looking at

    him, I see vulnerability. I see him as human, just like the rest of us, not an ice cold statue. ¡°I already told

    you that I would never leave you, Rowan¡±

    ¡°But you haven¡¯t met Ethan. He almost took you from right under my nose. If it wasn¡¯t for the fact that

    he betrayed you, I don¡¯t think you would be with me right now. You would be his, and I would be too

    late in winning yiu back¡± My heart breaks at the pain I see in his eyes. Pain, guilt and regret are all

    mixed up inside him, causing him this heartache that I wish I could take away from him.

    If I doubted what he felt for was real, then consider me cured. Even a great actor can¡¯t fake the

    emotions and vulnerability in his eyes.

    ¡°I want you to understand one thing, Rowan, what I feel for you is unconditional. Even when you hurt

    me, tore me to pieces and broke my heart, I still loved you. I forgave you because I knew that my

    obsession with you when we were younger tore your life apart. I continued to love you because despite

    your cruelty. I couldn¡¯t stop even if I wanted to. I¡¯m with you because you¡¯re what I always wanted and

    nothing can take me away from you.¡±

    It was the truth. We both made mistakes. Some of which I¡¯ll regret for the rest of my life. Yes, we were

    both drunk, but it was my obsession with him that led me to that bar that night. It¡¯s my obsession that

    led me to think it was okay to sleep with Rowan even though I knew he belonged to someone else.

    He retaliated in the only way he knew. It was wrong and I hate that he made me pay for that mistake,

    but I understand. If I were in his shoes, I would have probably done the same thing. I would have

    gotten revenge on anyone who tore me from the man that I loved. We were both wrong and we went

    about things the wrong way, but I¡¯m so ready to move on and leave the past behind. There was no

    point in holding on it. It would only hold us back. ¡°My heart will always belong to you¡± I continue. ¡°If I

    truly loved Ethan, or felt for him a fraction of what I feel for you, then I would never have left him despite

    his sins, I would have been angry and mad as hell, but nothing would have driven me away from him.

    Not even his crimes against me or his sentence¡±

    Finally, the cloud he was drowning in starts to clear.

    ¡°You have nothing to worry about¡± I whisper as I walk into his personal space, wrap my hands around

    his waist andy my head on.

    Are sure?

    I push away the nagging voice and focus on my husband.

    ¡°Okay then¡­you can go see him¡± he says after a while, his voicepletely calm now.

    I chuckle at his behavior. He was trying to wipe away his vulnerabilty. Trying to make it seem like he

    was permitting me, when we both knew the truth. He couldn¡¯t have stopped me from doing what I

    wanted.

    I let him think he has his way as I lean against his crumpled shirt and whisper, ¡°Thank you¡±

    I was he nervous about meeting Ethan, but I knew it has to be done no matter the oue.

 Chapter 300

    ?Chapter 0300

    I am a nervous wreck. Everything inside is vibrating at an rming rate. My heart is beating erratically, and my stomach is in knots.

    I stare at the prison walls, not really sure if I should go in or not. I don''t know whether I''ve ever visited Ethan before, but it matters. To me, at this very moment, it was like visiting a stranger.

    "Are you going to enter, or will you just stare at the walls the whole damn day? You''re wasting my fucking time," the officer guarding the gate mocks me, his rude behavior showing in the way he was sneering at

    me.

    I hold Iris tightly in my arms and re at him.

    I understand, but one, he doesn''t have to be so rude about it... And second, it was his damn job to man the guard, so I doubt I was taking any of his precious time.

    "What the hell did you just say to me?" I snap.

    If there is one thing I hate, it''s rudeness, especially when it is uncalled for.

    He rolls his eyes. This just angers me more, making me want to p him.

    "You heard me; I don''t think you''re deaf... And what are you doing here? Are you a druggy? Or maybe you''re a prostitute and you''vee here to sell your services? If that''s the case, then how much? I could use a break and a good time."

    I don''t know about you, but I find it offensive that he would think that I''m a prostitute. Don''t get me wrong; I have nothing against those that are, but to have some assume that about me is just disrespectful.

    Damn it. This isn''t how I wanted this day to start. Sure, I was nervous and anxious, but I was also looking forward to seeing the father of my daughter. Now, this pompous ass haspletely ruined my day.

    "Do you know who the hell I am?" I snarl, getting up in his space.

    I wasn''t even inside the premise, yet he decided to treat me like shit. Was there aw that said I couldn''t take a few seconds to calm my nerves down before entering the facility?

    "Let me guess, the president of Mars?" he says, his lips twisted up in a sneer.

    I feel my lips pull up in a mocking smirk, "I''m Ava Sharp."

    At first, his face registers nothing, but then something like a light bulb goes on behind his eyes. Immediately, fear takes over and he face crumbles making him look like he''s aged at least a hundred years.

    I took a lucky guess, but I wasn''t sure. My name never used to mean anything to anyone, but I guess things have changed. Whether it''s because Rowan epted me, or it''s because of my parents or maybe because of Ethan. I didn''t know, but I wasn''t going toin about it.

    "I''m sorry Ma''am, I didn''t know it was you" he apologizes, but it does nothing to move me.

    "Your sorry means nothing to me" I sneer. "You were rude when it was uncalled for and assumed some pretty nasty things about me"

    "It won''t happen again, I promise"

    I scoff at him. His tune had changed pretty quickly now that he knew who I was, but would it have been the same if I had been no one?

    I wasn''t fooled. He wasn''t truly sorry.

    "Oh, trust me, it won''t happen again... because you''ll soon be getting a call from your superiors" without giving him another look, I crossed the threshold and entered the facility.

    I wasn''t sure if I was really going to talk to his superiors, but I also wasn''t going to let this go. No one disrespected me. He needed to be taught a lesson.

    My anxiety had faded when I was busy with the guard. Now, as I walked towards the big doors with the word ''VISITORS'' written on top of it, my anxiety magnified a thousandfold.

    I got to it and entered. Before they could proceed, they asked me for my details and the person I was there to visit. My heart continues thumping as I give them the information. Turns out, that I had visited once before.

    After we''re done and I''m given a visitor''s badge, they lead me inside.

    "Wait here, I''ll just go and get him" another guard tells me as he directs me to take a seat at one of the tables.

    Iply and sit down. Iris was staring around. Her baby sounds which are usually soothing do nothing to calm me down. I don''t think I will calm down until I meet the man.

    Minutester, the guard leads a handcuffed man towards me.

    A memory, or what I think is a memory assaults me. A man was standing outside a house I didn''t recognized and he had flowers in his hands. He hands them to me, and I smile right before pecking his lips.

    As quickly as the memory appears it disappears, leaving me feeling breathless and confused. The man in my memory is the same man being led towards me in cuffs. I have no doubt that It''s Ethan.

    My eyes track him as hees and takes a seat opposite me. He turns and faces the guard with his hands held out. After the man uncuffs him, he faces me. His eyes are so blue and so simr to those of Iris.

    "Hello, Ava"

 Chapter 301

    I stare at the father of my daughter. The man that I¡¯d trusted and wanted enough to sleep with. My eyes

    take in his features as I try to get my brain to work.

    He looked different. Don¡¯t get me wrong, he was still really good-looking, but he seemed different from

    the man I had a glimpse of in my memory. He even has a beard now. It made him all the more good-

    looking.

    I know, I¡¯m in love with Rowan, so why am I checking out Ethan? I¡¯m not. I¡¯m just noting that he¡¯s

    handsome.

    ¡°Hi,¡± I finally reply. It was the only word that I could master.

    I feel so awkward. So unsure of what to do or what to say.

    His eyes drop from mine to stare at our daughter. His unreadable expression changes. Softness and

    love take over.

    ¡°Can I hold her?¡± he asks, his eyes still fixed on her.

    It¡¯s clear that he loves Iris. That fact alone warms my heart. I was really afraid that he wouldn¡¯t want

    anything to do with her. Afraid that he thought of her as a mistake. You know? Because he was only

    using me while nning to kill me.

    ¡°Sure¡±

    I stand up and gentlyy Iris in his outstretched hand.

    Ethan kisses her forehead. ¡°Hey, baby girl?¡±

    He tries to hide the tears that fill his eyes, but it¡¯s obvious there.

    Reading him proves to be difficult. Just like with Rowan, he hides his emotions well. I don¡¯t know what I

    expected when I decided to see him. But warmth and gentleness aren¡¯t it.

    After being told what he did to me, I expected this cold, unfeeling and mean person. I¡¯m shocked that it

    isn¡¯t what I¡¯ve found. Letty did tell me thought, that when I was around him I was happy. I was free and

    that he helped me a lot in bing a different person.

    She told me that, Ethan helped me get out of my shell. That he helped me experiment and embrace my

    sexuality. I didn¡¯t believe her at first, but now I do. I don¡¯t feel anything for him, but there is just

    something about him. Something that draws me in. Maybe ¡°Thank you so much for bringing her. I

    haven¡¯t seen her since the day she was born¡± his voice is gruff and full of emotions. ¡°Why? Didn¡¯t Theo

    and Nora bring her to see you?¡± ¡°She was in NICU, remember?¡± he says softly. ¡°Though they did bring

    me pictures of her¡± Sometimes I forget that Iris is a premature baby. I always forget that during the time

    I was in aa, she was in intensive care unit. ¡°I¡¯ll try to bring her as often as I can¡± I assure him. We

    are silent for a while, with him ying with Iris¡¯s tiny hands. She holds his finger so tight, which makes

    me wonder if on a deeper level she knew who he was. If she was aware of their connection. I know it

    might sound absurd, but I feel like she knows Ethan his her father. ¡°Not that I¡¯m not d you¡¯re here,

    but why are you here? I¡¯m surprised you came. Mom told me that you lost your memories¡± Dam n. That

    is something I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll ever get over. The fact that he¡¯s my real parents¡¯ adopted son yet he and I

    have a daughter together. ¡°Apart from bringing Iris to see you, I wanted to meet you. Get to know you

    as a person since we¡¯ll be sharing custody of Iris¡± ¡°I¡¯m surprised you would¡± he murmurs, his eyes still

    on Iris. I keep quiet for a moment. Ignoring his words.

    ¡°I know what others have told me about you and me. Now I want to hear it from. I want to know our

    story from you¡±

    His snap up to look at me. I see the surprise ying in his eyes. I guess, he probably thought that I

    would take others point of view and not his.

    He takes a deep breath, before beginning.

    He doesn¡¯t hold back at all. He tells me everything from how he found out that I was alive, to how he

    devised the devious n and to finally putting things to motions.

    My heart aches at how he had manipted me. I can¡¯t imagine the heartbreak I felt when I found out

    that he had betrayed me. My lungs are clenched. I feel like I have a tight fist wrapped around my chest.

    I don¡¯t remember what happened, but his actions have marked my soul. That is why his confession

    hurts

    I fall back against the chair and just watch him. By the time he was done, Iris was already asleep.

    Snuggled against her father¡¯s chest.

    I never got t truly apologize, but I am truly sorry, Ava. I have no excuse for what I did to you, only my

    absurd reasoning that thepany should be mine and not yours. You¡¯ll never know how deeply

    repentant I am¡± his voice was more of a painful whisper.

    The truth of his words are written in his eyes. I don¡¯t know how I know this, but deep inside I know that

    he means every single word he said. What he did ispletely messed up, but will I honestly resent

    him, especially when he seem to be sorry?

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what to say

    And it¡¯s true. I am speechless and confused.

    I¡¯m not saying what I did was right, but everything changed once I realized I had fallen in love with you.

    I went into it thinking I have the whole narrative, but you changed things. I never saw youing, Ava,

    I never thought that you would flip my world around¡±

    F uck. What the hell was I supposed to say when a man you have no memory of confesses to being in

    love with you?

    Luckily, I don¡¯t have to say anything because one of the guards interrupts us.

    ¡°Time is up¡±

    Silently, I watch as he kisses the top of Iris¡¯s head before giving her to me.

    1 may not remember what happened, but I hope we can put the past behind and move forward for the

    sake of Iris. Look like a good man, despite your sins and you deserve to know your daughter, so,

    friends?¡±

    I ask him hopefully.

    At first he looks shocked at first, but then a smile graces his lips.

    ¡°Friends¡±

    It was a lot to d******d all that happened and my current feelings, but I know this is a step towards the

    right direction. I¡¯ll try toe as often as I can so you can see Iris¡±

    I''ll appreciate that

    He stands up and the guard cuffs him. They were about to leave when Ethan turns around and faces

    me.

    Be careful who you trust, Ava. Not everything is as it seems and Rowan isn¡¯t being as honest as he

    portrays himself to be¡± he warns. Take care, my love¡±

    Before I can even reply or ask him, they both leave. I stand up with my daughter and head towards the

    exit. All the while his warning about Rowan still ringing in my head.

 Chapter 302

    Chapter 302

    Rowan.

    ¡°You¡¯ve got to give me something, Reaper¡­ Anything at this point, honestly.¡± My voice was strained,

    and I was doing all I could to prevent myself fromshing out.

    It was frustrating as hell that we still don¡¯t know who the fuck was behind Ava¡¯s attack. It was fucking

    with my head that whoever hurt her was still out there. Was still walking scot¨Cfree, as if the bastard

    hadn¡¯t hurt the woman I love.

    Every day I leave the house or Ava leaves our home, worry fills me. I can¡¯t help the questions that flood

    and attack my mind. What if someone hurts her when she¡¯s home? What if someone attacks her when

    she¡¯s out in the streets?

    I know I have hired the best bodyguards, and Reaper has his men watching over her too, but I still can¡¯t

    help the worst scenarios that keep flooding my mind day in and day out.

    ¡°You¡¯re not the only one frustrated by the whole damn situation.¡± Reaper snaps back, his restlessness

    very clear in his voice. ¡°But I¡¯ve tried everything to find this guy, and nada. Absolutely nothing. I couldn¡¯t

    even find the damn car they used.¡±

    I frown as the details pour out of his mouth. I would have snapped back, but his statement distracted

    me.

    ¡°That¡¯s impossible? How is there no record or evidence of the car?¡± I ask. ¡°Unless the bastards torched

    it after us.¡±

    It¡¯s the only thing that made sense, worked close together, but there hasn¡¯t been anything. Nothing to

    point us in the right direction. My men can¡¯t find a damn thing, and neither can his men. The police are

    also useless in this case.

    ¡°That¡¯s what I thought, too.¡± His reply is cold.

    I¡¯m not one to be unnerved, but Reaper does unnerve me. There was just something about the fucker

    that was devious and sinister. If it weren¡¯t for the fact that I needed his help in keeping Ava safe, I

    wouldn¡¯t be associated with him in the first ce ¡°So what will we do now?¡± he asks after a while.

    It¡¯s a question that I¡¯ve been asking myself a lottely.

    ¡°We wait and hope that whoever they are, they¡¯ll slip up. Once that happens, we¡¯ll be there to catch

    them.¡±

    My mind wanders to Ava. Every minute and every hour, she¡¯s all I can think about. I¡¯m not ashamed to

    say of hold she has on me.

    ¡°By the way, I need a favor.¡± Reaper rips me from my musings, bringing me back to the present.

    Leaning forward in my chair, I clutch my phone tightly, curious about what Reaper would need help

    with.

    We were alike in some aspects, such as this. We both would never ask each other for help unless it

    was truly necessary.

    ¡°With what?¡±

    ¡°I need Corrine¡¯s address,¡± he states in a t voice, devoid of any emotion.

    I fall back into my chair and grin. Ah, so I wasn¡¯t wrong that day at the hospital. Something had passed

    between them. It was in the way that both of them stared at each other. As if they couldn¡¯t pull their

    eyes away.

    ¡°Can¡¯t you just have her checked out? I¡¯m sure it wouldn¡¯t take one of your men long before you had

    the address you¡¯re looking for.

    Men like us always get what we want. It doesn¡¯t even take that much digging to find the information we

    are looking for. Which makes me all the more curious about why he would ask me for a favor.

    ¡°Yes, but I want to do things the right way. Somehow I feel Corrine isn¡¯t the kind of women to appreciate

    a stranger digging into her life.¡± He breathes out. ¡°This is the best course of action. If I show up at her

    doorstep and she asks how I got her address, I will simply say you gave it to me since she and Ava are

    friends.¡±

    ¡°Seriously? Do you want Ava to castrate me? Especially if she finds out that you¡¯re a criminal. That is

    just not fucking right.¡± I growl standing up.

    I am double sure that Corrine would tell Letty¡­ And even though Ava doesn¡¯t really remember Reeper,

    Letty would still fill her in because the woman simply doesn¡¯t know how to keep her mouth shut.

    ¡°Say¡¯s the guy that¡¯s still fooling Ava by making her believe that you two are still married,¡± he says,

    clicking his tongue before hanging up. Touche¡®.

    Sighing, I stare at my office, wondering why the hell I was still there when it was already time to go

    home Reaper is right, though; I was a fucking hypocrite for speaking about rights and wrongs when I

    was still lying to Ava.

 Chapter 303

    Chapter 303

    Without wasting time, I cross the soft carpet and head out of my office. I walk down the hallway,

    heading towards Gabe¡¯s office.

    ¡°Is my brother in?¡± I ask his secretary once I get to his side of the floor.

    We were the only board member¡¯s that were on this floor. Mainly because we retained the highest

    percentage of shares along with my father, though he is now retired.

    ¡°Yes, Sir. He¡¯s still in.¡±

    I nod at her and walk into my brother¡¯s office after noting that this was yet a new secretary. Gabe went

    through them at an rming rate. I me it on the fact that he is still a notorious yboy. He sleeps

    with them, and once they start getting attached, he fires them.

    ¡°Rowan¡­¡±

    ¡°What happened to the other one?¡± I ask, knowing that I don¡¯t need to borate. ¡°This is the fourth

    secretary you¡¯ve hired this month.¡±

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s not my fault that they keep expecting me to profess my love and put a ring on it after a day or

    two of sex,¡± he grins, a grin that I know very well he uses to draw women into his fucking web.

    Shaking my head, I stare at my brother, wondering if there exists a woman who can actually tame him.¡±

    You really should stop mixing business with pleasure.¡±

    ¡°Nah¡­ Where is the fun in that?¡± He shrugs, and I sigh, knowing that he won¡¯t stop sleeping with every

    fucking secretary he hires.

    At least he respected my decision when I told him my secretary was out of limit. Thest thing I wanted

    or needed was to search for new ones because my brother can¡¯t keep his dick in his pants.

    ¡°So, what brought you to my office?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t really feel like going home,¡± I answer, avoiding his gaze.

    ¡°Color me shocked¡­ Why? I thought things were going great with Ava.¡±

    ¡°They are¡­¡± I leave the sentence hanging.

    Well, they were, that is, until she got back from visiting Ethan in prison. I don¡¯t know what happened or

    what he told her, but Av¨¢ has been eyeing me suspiciously since then. Every time I do something, I say

    something, kiss her, hold her, or even do the smallest of things. Suspicion mars her eyes, making me

    ¡°I think Ethan may have said something to her; she¡¯s been offtely. It started after she went to see

    Ethan about a week ago. Or maybe something happened between them, and she¡¯s wondering what the

    hell she¡¯s doing with me when there is Ethan.¡±

    ¡°She loves you.¡± Gabe tries assuring me, but it doesn¡¯t work.

    ¡°But for how long? And what happens when she regains her memories and realizes that she killed and

    buried her love for me a long time ago?¡±

    My insecurities are showing, but I don¡¯t care. In addition to worrying about her safety, I worry about the

    day that she¡¯ll regain her memories. I¡¯m so fucking afraid of admitting that losing her scares me to

    death.

    This past month and a half has been fucking amazing. I never thought that Ava could be what I wanted.

    What I needed. I was wrong. She fucking lights up my world in a way I never thought possible, making

    me realize how much of a fool I was to hold myself back from her.

    Kissing her, waking up beside her, holding her, having ourte¨Cnight conversations, and having Noah

    and

    Iris is everything I didn¡¯t know I needed, but now I know I can¡¯t live without it. She¡¯s embedded so

    deeply. in my fucking heart that it would be impossible to dig her out. Not that I would want to anyway.

    I want everything with her. Everything I denied myself and her when we were married. I want a future

    with her. I want to re¨Cmarry her and grow our family. I want to watch our kids grow and be there for her

    every step of the way. I want a happy ending with her, and I want to spend the next sixty¨Cplus years

    with her.

    ¡°You¡¯re overreacting. I¡¯m sure nothing is wrong.¡± He assures me firmly.

    I sigh, defeated and tired. ¡°If you think that¡¯s the case, why don¡¯t youe home for dinner then? You

    can see for yourself that I am not overreacting, as you put it.¡±

    ¡°Fine¡±

    I smile as we both rise up. I just hope that Ava won¡¯t be angry that I invited Gabe. After all, he had

    never antagonized her, but he wasn¡¯t weing to her either.

 Chapter 304

    Chapter 304

    Ava

    ¡°Is it okay if Corrine and Ie by the day after tomorrow?¡± Letty asks.

    She had called a few minutes ago. I¡¯d been surprised, but happy that she had. Thest time she was

    here, we talked, and I got why I¡¯d be her friend despite her rtionship with Travis.

    She was a fun person to be around. Apart from that, she was also really sweet and nice. I had taken to

    her immediately, d to have her in my life.

    I move around the kitchen with Iris in my arms. She had refused to take her afternoon nap, and

    because of that, she was now very cranky. Whenever I tried putting her down, she would fall into a fit of

    crying until I picked her up again.

    ¡°Ava?¡±

    I hesitated for a moment. Thest time I saw Corrine was at the hospital. She hasn¡¯t contacted me or

    come by to see me. I didn¡¯t understand, especially since she was supposed to be one of my closest

    friends.

    ¡°Will that be alright with her?¡± I inquire, unsure of myself. ¡°It¡¯s just that we haven¡¯t seen each other

    since that day at the hospital.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s because she was giving you time to settle and get used to the new normal,¡± she replies. ¡°So, is

    Wednesday okay with you?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, sure. It¡¯s not like I have anything to do or anywhere to go,¡± I reply, trying to hide the bitterness

    and sarcasm from my tone.

    Every day, it gets harder and harder to stay at home. I wasn¡¯t built to sit around and do nothing. Even

    when I had Noah, I still had my studies and my afternoon job at the grocery store to keep me upied.

    ¡°It¡¯s settled then¡­ We¡¯ll be there. We have a lot to catch up on.¡±

    That catches my attention. Maybe they¡¯ll tell me something that will give me a hint on how my life has

    been for the past four years.

    For a minute, I¡¯m tempted to ask her if she knows what Rowan could be hiding. I decided against it,

    though. If anyone is going to tell me the truth, then it will be Rowan. I¡¯d rather hear it from the horse¡¯s

    mouth.

    ¡°Fine. See you then.¡±

    I hang up and put the phone down. I look down at the bundle of joy in my arms, hoping that

    ¡°Come on Angel, please go to sleep¡­ My hands are getting tired here, not to mention numb.¡±

    Her forehead creases, and she simply continues staring at me, her full lips twisted. If I am not wrong,

    then I would think that she was offended. Displeased by my words.

    Sighing, I continue moving, swinging her gently in my arms. I start singing, hoping that abination of

    all those will lull her to sleep. She was just closing her eyes when the door opened. ¡°Ava!¡± Rowan

    shouts my name, making Iris snap her eyes open. Her face twists right before she lets out a big wail.

    ¡°Son of a bitch!¡± I snap when her cries get louder. I transfer her to my shoulder, holding her there while

    gently patting her back, hoping to calm her d o n.

    ¡°What is it?¡± Rowan appears at the door before rushing towards. ¡°I heard you cuss.

    ¡°What happened is that she was almost asleep when you woke her up with your shout!¡± I re at him,

    releasing all my pent-up frustrations into that one look.

    It wasn¡¯t just that he woke Iris up; it¡¯s also because of what Ethan told me and the fact that I know deep

    down he¡¯s hiding something from me.

    My mind has been driving me crazy as it continues toe up with all the worst possible scenarios. I

    don¡¯t want to lose what we have, but something inside me tells me that there is a chance of that once I

    learn what he¡¯s keeping from me. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I didn¡¯t know,¡± he states softly. I push my raging thoughts

    away. Maybe I was just being paranoid. Maybe I¡¯m mistaken. The love in his eyes draws me in like a

    moth to a me. It hypnotizes me, making me forget even my own damn name. The look in his eyes

    promises me everything that I¡¯ve always desired. Love, passion, warmth, peace, and happiness. It

    promises me the world, and a part of me just wants to forget about everything else and drown in it.

    Drown in his lies.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± I whisper, stepping away from him and breaking the spell that he had woven around me.

    He stares at me. I shift, just so I can avoid his piercing gaze.

    ¡°By the way, I invited Gabe for dinner¡±

    It¡¯s only then that I notice Gabe standing near the door. His gaze, simr to his brother¡¯s, was piercing.

    As if he were trying to assess something.

    ¡°Hi,¡± I simply say, not really sure how to be around him since Gabe and I have never been close. We

    weren¡¯t enemies, but we weren¡¯t friends either.

    He simply nods in acknowledgment of my greeting. He and Rowan had different personalities despite

    being twins, but they had some simr traits. Both were men of very few words.

    ¡°I¡¯m just going to go to her room and try to put her down.¡± Iris had stopped crying. What remained were

    her hupps.

    They both nod as I excuse myself.

    I¡¯d just left the room when I heard them. At first, I didn¡¯t mean to eavesdrop, but that was until Gabe¡¯s

    sentence got my attention.

    ¡°Yap, Ethan definitely mentioned something. Do you think he told her the truth?¡±

    What the hell? So I was right. Rowan was hiding something from me.

 Chapter 305

    My heart beats wildly as I listen to them.

    Do you think he told her the truth?

    That single sentence keeps ying in my mind record. I feel paralyzed as I wait for Rowan to reply.

    I hold Iris tightly in my arms because I could feel not only my hands but my shaking. I try to breathe in

    and then out, but the air gets stuck in my wind pipes.

    I lean against the wall, just to keep myself standing upright. I was weak in the knees, and thest thing

    I wanted was to copse to the ground while holding my daughter.

    Thankfully, Iris had fallen asleep; otherwise, I would have been caught.

    ¡°I honestly don¡¯t know,¡± Rowan murmurs, his voice strained.

    Remember when I said that my heart was beating wildly? Yeah, now it¡¯s a hundred times worse.

    ¡°She¡¯s suspicious of you, meaning someone mentioned something to her. Given that Ethan doesn¡¯t like

    you, then it¡¯s probably him.¡±

    They were quiet for a moment. My ears are ringing, and the only sound I hear is the beating of my

    heart. It was so loud in my ears that I was afraid they would hear it and know that I hadn¡¯t left.

    ¡°What are you going to do now? You only have two options: either you tell her the truth or go on

    pretending like nothing¡¯s wrong,¡± Gabe tells him after a while.

    F uck. This was hard to listen to. To know that my husband was hiding something from me.

    I was waiting patiently for his answer when I got this sense of deja vu.

    Had something like this happened before?

    Before I could answer that question, a memory filters through my mind. Something like this had

    happened only it wasn¡¯t Gabe and Rowan I was listening to. It was Noah and Rowan.

    I was in this exact position, leaning against this exact wall, only instead of holding Iris, I clutched some

    documents close to my chest.

    ¡°Don¡¯t you love her?¡±

    He clears his throat. ¡°Noah¡­¡±

    ¡°Dad, do you love mommy or not?¡± Noah asks him again.

    I hear him sigh in defeat. ¡°I love her for giving me you,¡± he finally answers

    I stumble at the pain that rips through me. The pain that I felt when he said that. My breathse in

    and out hard as I try to breathe through the pain that suddenly attacks me.

    Was the memory from before or after we chose to go our separate ways?

    I try to remember more; I¡¯m sessful, but it isn¡¯t what I was expecting.

    ¡°Has anyone ever told you it¡¯s rude to listen to other people¡¯s conversations?¡±

    His voice was cold and emotionless. The look of hate and disdain filtered into his asked me what the

    hell I was doing there.

    Fuck, this was the Rowan I was used to. The Rowan who destroyed my heart. Seeing him memories

    like this and knowing that his every word, action, and look was like a stab to my heart almost brings me

    to my knees.

    ¡°Mom, what are you doing standing there?¡± Noah¡¯s voice breaks through the fog, bringing me back to

    the present and cutting short my memory.

    At his voice, Rowan and Gabe rush out. They silently looked at each other before facing me.

    ¡°Ava, are you okay?¡± Rowan asks in concern.

    He goes to touch me, but I step away from him. Hurt shes in his eyes, but I don¡¯t really care right

    now. Not when the pain I felt is still fresh in my mind. Not when I¡¯ve just gotten another reminder of how

    cruel Rowan had been to me.

    ¡°Yeah, a memory shed in my mind. I got lost in it,¡± I reply quietly, avoiding his eyes.

    ¡°A memory?¡± The way he asks me makes me look up. In his eyes, I see fear. Meaning, for some

    reason, he was afraid of my memoriesing back. ¡°What was it about?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t really know; it was a bit hazy.¡± I lie, not really sure why. ¡°I¡¯ll just go put Iris down and maybe take

    a nap before dinner. All of a sudden, my head is pounding.¡±

    Noah looks worriedly at me. They all do. For Noah¡¯s sake, I fake a small smile and kiss his cheek

    before heading upstairs.

    My mind is in turmoil. I didn¡¯t lie when I said my head was pounding; it actually was. I had so many

    things on my mind, and there were secrets to uncover. It was beginning to be too much for me to

    handle.

    I get into Iris¡¯s room and gentlyy her down before kissing her forehead. After taking the baby monitor,

    I head straight to the master¡¯s bedroom.

    I enter, and I just take a minute to stare at it. At first, I didn¡¯t care because I was just happy that Rowan

    was sleeping next to me, but now? Now I see the difference. Everything had been

    The bed, the color scheme, the furniture. There was nothing remotely familiar about this bedroom. It¡¯s

    like whoever redecorated it was trying to get rid of every trace of me.

    Rowan had said that he and Emma had started seeing each other after she came back. Did she sleep

    here? Did they ever make love on this bed? Was she the one who redecorated the room, or was it

    Rowan? Maybe it was both of them.

    Feeling unsettled by the questions, I leave the room and go to a guest bedroom that is down the hall. I

    couldn¡¯t sleep there, knowing that there was a possibility Emma and Rowan had slept and f ucked on

    that same bed.

    It was gut-wrenching to think of that possibility, but did I have a right to feel hurt when I¡¯d slept with

    another man?

    Getting under the covers, I will my tired body to sleep. My head was killing me, and I couldn¡¯t keep this

    up much longer. I was tired of the questions. Tired of the doubts. I was tired of trying to figure out what

    he was hiding

    The key to knowing what secrets Rowan was keeping was in my memories. Now more than ever, I

    needed to remember; the only problem is, I don¡¯t know how to bring those lost memories forth.

 Chapter 306

    ¡°Ava, wake up; dinner is ready.¡± His voice pulls me from my dreams.

    It wasn¡¯t a really good dream, but neither was it bad. It was one of those dreams that left you with

    confusion and vague images of what you dreamed of.

    ¡°Iris?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry. She woke up; I gave her a bottle, and she went back to sleep,¡± he answers, his eyes

    searching mine.

    I nod my head, then push the sheets aside and get up. Stretching, I feel my bones loosening and

    realigning themselves in the most delicious of ways.

    ¡°Why are you sleeping here instead of in our bed?¡± Rowan asks, staring deeply into my eyes.

    Everything that I¡¯d been running from crashes into me. Reminding me of the reason why I

    was here in this bed and not the master bedroom.

    I feel irritation and anger surge inside me. My calmness disappears, and in its ce is a bitter

    aftertaste. Why would he lie to me? Why was he keeping things from me? Is this really how he wanted

    us to start our new rtionship? By building it on a foundation of lies and secrets.

    ¡°Don¡¯t start with me, Rowan. I¡¯m not in the f ucking mood,¡± I snap before brushing past him.

    I am a fully grown woman, but there was this part that just wanted to p him silly. After everything he¡¯s

    taken me through, he still has the audacity to keep things from me. What the hell is wrong with him?

    Isn¡¯t the fact that he¡¯s taken me through hell and back enough? I don¡¯t wait for him to follow; instead, I

    head to the dining table, where I find Noah and Gabe already seated. I take my seat and begin loading

    food onto my own te. A few minutester, Rowan joins us. ¡°So,Ava, how have you been?¡± Gabe

    asks, breaking the tense atmosphere. I don¡¯t know how to answer his question. First of all, because

    right now I was pis sed as hell, and second of all, I found this small talk strange. Like I said, Gabe and I

    have never been friends. We barely even talked to each other, so to have him ask me how I am is a bit

    weird. ¡°It¡¯s been good so far¡­ The only downside is staying at home. I¡¯m not used to that,¡± I answer

    honestly.

    I put a piece of steak in my mouth and almost moan in pleasure. It felt like it just melted in my mouth

    like butter. Teresa¡¯is a really great cook.

    I sigh, feeling a bit jealous of her. I am a great cook too, or at least I was. The other day, I wanted to try

    a new recipe and cook for my family. Let¡¯s just say that the food wasn¡¯t edible by You see, because of

    my special case (my inability to read numbers correctly), I¡¯d added two and a half table spoons of sugar

    instead of just a half. I¡¯d cried for a good half an hour after that before I managed to pull myself

    together. Teresa had cooked something else, and we didn¡¯t mention that incident again. ¡°Will you go

    back to teaching?¡± Gabe shoots another question, distracting me from the turmoil that is raging inside

    me. ¡°That¡¯s the n, but obviously, because of certain circumstances, it won¡¯t be happening anytime

    soon,¡± I replied after swallowing the food I was chewing.

    Rowan remains quiet. His eyes mainly remain focused on mine. I see the turmoil inside him.

    The war that was raging inside. I internally scoff; he is probably torn about whatever it is he is hiding

    from me.

    ¡°Mom, Gunner never came over,¡± Noah chimes in. ¡°You¡¯d said that he wouldest weekend, but

    you never spoke to Calvin.¡±

    My eyes sh to Rowan¡¯s. His are now unreadable, which makes me curious. We¡¯ve never talked

    about Calvin, so I don¡¯t really know if they had set their beef with each other aside for the sake of their

    sons.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, darling, I forgot to mention it to your dad.¡± I pause. ¡°How about this? Since your birthday is

    next week, he cane to celebrate your day and then sleep over.¡±

    Noah pumps his hands into the air in happiness, making everyone smile.

    ¡°Definitely yes, that will be so cool.¡±

    ¡°You can also invite your ssmates. I think we¡¯ll hold it in the backyard, since we have enough space,¡±

    I suggest, and Noah¡¯s grin bes wider.

    Seeing him happy makes me forget everything that is wrong in my life right now. I live for him and Iris,

    and it doesn¡¯t matter what happens between me and Rowan. Those twoe first, and if they¡¯re

    happy, then I¡¯m happy too.

    ¡°My friends will be so happy¡­ I¡¯ll invite everyone,¡± he pauses as a frown takes over his face.¡± Well,

    everyone except for Sierra. I don¡¯t want her toe to my party. She¡¯ll just ruin things.¡±

 Chapter 307

    The happiness I¡¯d been feeling moments agopletely evaporates as a surge of irritation takes over

    my entire body.

    ¡°When I said everyone, I meant everyone, Noah. There will be no exceptions.¡± I grind out between

    clenched teeth.

    ¡°But I don¡¯t want her toe,¡± he snaps at me.

    ¡°Who is Sierra?¡± Rowan cuts in.

    ¡°It¡¯s this annoying girl in my ss that I don¡¯t like. She¡¯s such a pain in the butt, and seeing her on my

    special day will just ruin the day for me.¡¯

    I get that Sierra annoys him, but to refuse to invite her to his birthday when everyone else will be invited

    is downright mean and uncalled for.

    ¡°Do you know how hurt she¡¯ll feel when you invite everyone else except for her? It will most likely break

    her heart.¡± I try to reason with him calmly, but I know it¡¯s not doing any good, especially when he res

    at me.

    ¡°I. Don¡¯t. Care¡±es his reply, which is said in a harsh and hard tone.

    I was starting to lose my patience with Noah. It¡¯s not like I¡¯m siding with this girl, but I¡¯ve been there. I

    know how it feels when everyone else is invited to birthdays and asions, but you¡¯re not.

    I know how much it hurts when others treat you with contempt when you haven¡¯t done anything that

    would warrant their hatred towards you.

    ¡°Noah¡­¡± I warn.

    ¡°I¡¯m not going to invite her; she can cry and fill up a whole ocean and I would still not inviting her!¡±

    I reach my limit, and the seams that were holding me together snap. Banging my hand on the d amn

    table, I turn to Noah with fury written all over my face.

    Everyone is surprised. I¡¯ve never lost my temper, but Noah had just pushed me to the f ucking edge.

    ¡°I don¡¯t care whether you like it or not! You¡¯ll invite her to the party if you¡¯re going to invite your whole

    ss, or there won¡¯t be a da mn party, am I clear? You either invite her also or I cancel the whole

    thing,¡± I shout.

    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t dare.¡± Noah looks at me in shock.

    ¡°Try me,¡± I snap.

    He stares at me with a cold look before shoving his chair and leaving the table. I hear his feet stomp

    against the floor. I would usually follow him, but not today. I was still angry. Still wired. Plus, this had to

    be done.

    Running my hand through my hair, I stand up. I need to breathe. I need some space.

    ¡°Ava¡­¡± I avoid his and his brother¡¯s shocked eyes.

    ¡°Don¡¯t¡­ Don¡¯t f ucking talk to me until you¡¯re ready to tell me what the hell you¡¯re hiding from me,¡± I

    snarl before walking away.

    I rush to the bedroom I was in a few minutes ago. I want to scream, to shout, to punch something or

    someone. I am so worked up, and the frustration made me want to cry.

    ¡°Ava, please talk to me.¡± His soft voice prates my mind. I hadn¡¯t even noticed that he¡¯d followed me

    or that he¡¯d entered the room. ¡°Are you going to tell me what you¡¯re keeping from me?¡± I ask as I feel

    the tears I¡¯d been holding back fall down my cheeks. He just stares at me, turmoil behind his grey eyes.

    Finally, he shakes his head. ¡°I can¡¯t, Ava. I just can¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Why the hell not?¡± I shout at him before grabbing whatever was near me and lunging it in his direction.

    He skillfully steps aside, avoiding the hard cover book that would have done some damage.

    ¡°I just want to know the truth; why can¡¯t you just tell me, Rowan?¡± I crumble and fall on the bed, feeling

    all the fight leave me.

    He walks the short distance and kneels before me, gently taking my hand in his.

    ¡°Because you¡¯ll leave me if you ever find out the truth. I can¡¯t have that, Ava. I can¡¯t live without you.¡±

    Love and fear shine in his eyes.

    That¡¯s when I see it. He really is afraid that I¡¯m going to leave him. He really is afraid of losing me.

    ¡°But you know that anything built on lies eventually crumbles, right?¡± I ask, wiping away my tears.

    ¡°I know¡­ but I just need a chance, Ava.¡±

    ¡°A chance? A chance for what?¡±

    ¡°A chance to win you over. To write my wrongs and fix what I broke. After that, I promise, I¡¯ll tell you the

    truth myself,¡± he answers, his grey eyes pleading with me.

    Should I trust him? He has left the ball in my court. Should I give him the chance and hold off on

    knowing the truth, or should I insist on knowing the truth he¡¯s hiding?

    Damn it. Why was this so hard?

 Chapter 308

    These past few weeks have been hectic, and I¡¯m not talking about the time I spent in prison. Am I

    okay? Definitely not. I¡¯m so far from okay that nothing in my life makes any sense right now.

    I won¡¯t hide the fact that I¡¯m lost. I had this n. This goal and a dream to one day be with Rowan. I

    focused on that dream for so long that it became the very air that I breathed. Everything I did, I¡¯ve done

    was propelled by dreams of having Rowan back one day.

    I mean, damn, I even became awyer because of him. I knew that one day he was going to ask Ava

    for a divorce, and I¡¯d be there to support him. I truly believed that Ava would fight it, would refuse to let

    go, and I would be there to fight her because I¡¯ve never lost a case. I¡¯m the best divorcewyer there is.

    All of that crumbled, though. The moment Rowan sent me to prison, my fairytale dreams and illusions

    were destroyed. Now here, I am feeling like the rug has been pulled from right under me. I have no

    direction or purpose, all because I made a man my priority.

    Don¡¯t get me wrong, I have epted that Rowan doesn¡¯t belong to me anymore, but that doesn¡¯t mean

    that it still doesn¡¯t hurt, because it does. It hurts like a motherfucking bitch.

    Standing up, I get off my bed and slowly head towards my dressing table. I felt like a zombie, to be

    honest. I sit down and just stare at myself. The woman staring back at me is aplete stranger.

    There is nothing familiar about her.

    I look pale, I have dark purple eye bags, my lips are chapped, and my blue eyes are dull. I pull my gaze

    away from the mirror and stare at my folded hands on my thighs, unable to look at myself anymore.

    Sighing, I stand back up once again and move to the window, staring outside, hoping to find some

    peace andfort.

    I should have known. It was clear as day, yet I refused to ept what was staring at me right in the

    freaking face. Rowan loved Ava. I was delusional, thinking that he still loved me and that he still wanted

    me. I mean,e the fuck on, there is no way you could stay with someone for nine freaking years

    unless you felt something for her.

    He had so many chances to walk away. He could have asked for a divorce a year or so after Noah was

    born, yet he didn¡¯t. Why is that? We all thought Rowan would be the one to divorce Ava, but we were

    all shocked when it turned out to be vice versa¡­ And if Ava hadn¡¯t asked for a divorce? That means

    they would still be together.

    The more I thought about it, the more the pieces started falling into ce. Rowan isn¡¯t the kind of

    person to be forced into doing anything. He didn¡¯t have to marry Ava years ago. I mean, hell, he could

    have just agreed to pay child support and have half custody, but he didn¡¯t.

    He also didn¡¯t have to stay with her for nine freaking years, yet he did. No one forced him. No one

    pressured him. It was his decision to stay because some part of him knew he couldn¡¯t let Ava go.

    That¡¯s why, even after their divorce, he just couldn¡¯t stay away from her.

    ¡°Emma?¡± I release a tired sigh at the sound of my mother¡¯s voice.

    She doesn¡¯t knock; she just enters my room like she owns it. She did, though, because since I was

    released from prison, I¡¯ve been staying at the family estate with her.

    ¡°Yes, Mom¡±

    Her brows pull down in a frown, and her nose scrunches up in distaste. ¡°You desperately need a

    shower. You stink, Emma.¡±

    I don¡¯t say anything. Instead, I move around and sit on my bed before facing her. She was here for a

    reason. I just had to sit patiently and wait for her to tell me why she was in my room.

    ¡°I¡¯m worried about you, Emma. You¡¯ve been cooped up in this room since you came back home. It can¡¯t

    be healthy at all. Plus, Molly is worried about you, and so are your friends. Molly told me you¡¯ve been

    ignoring their calls.¡± She crosses the room and sits down next to me.

 Chapter 309

    How do I tell her that I feel lost? How do I tell her that nothing in my life makes sense? Why was I even

    ced in this world to begin with? I¡¯ve lost the energy and will to do anything because I feel like nothing

    matters anymore.

    ¡°I just want to be alone, Mom,¡± I reply. ¡°There are things I need to work out.¡±

    I didn¡¯t want to tell her that I¡¯m struggling with everything, including my identity. She will just circle it

    back to Rowan and tell me to move on and leave the past behind. I know I should, but it¡¯s hard to leave

    the past behind when you¡¯ve held on to it for so long. It is hard to let it go when you let it be.

    anchor.

    ¡°I know. I know that things aren¡¯t easy for you, but I promise, when you give yourself a chance,

    everything will fall into ce and you¡¯ll find your happiness.¡± She pulls me into her arms, and Iy on

    her shoulder as tears fall down my cheeks.

    ¡°I just don¡¯t know what to do, and I don¡¯t know if I¡¯ll ever be happy, not that I¡¯ve been happy these past

    few years. I was faking it most of the time.¡±

    ¡°You say you don¡¯t know what to do? How about you start by righting your wrongs? Maybe that will give

    you the peace you clearly need.¡±

    My hands clench, and my nails dig into the skin of my palm before I let go. I wanted to argue with her,

    but I know she¡¯s right. Maybe that will give me a new purpose in life.

    ¡°Thank you, Mom.¡±

    ¡°I know I¡¯ve been hard on you these past few months, but I need you to know that I was pushing you for

    your own sake,¡± she says, rubbing my back in aforting way, like she used to do when I was

    younger.

    ¡°I know¡±

    Mom gives me a kiss on the forehead before detangling herself from me and then standing up.

    ¡°Alright then, I¡¯ll let you get some rest, and please remember to shower. It will make you feel better;

    trust me.¡±

    I nod, and she leaves. Closing the door behind her. I sit there for a while, staring off into nothing.

    Thoughts are shing through my mind, and it¡¯s hard for me to focus on any of them.

    Feeling like I was going to lose my freaking mind, I stand up and rush to my closet, almost tripping in

    the process. I fling the doors open and dig up a pair of sweat pants, a camisole, and a hoodie. I throw

    them on quickly before taking my car keys and leaving my room.

    I hear Mom calling my name as I run out of the house, but I don¡¯t turn back. I just want to be will just

    remind me of the days Rowan and I spent there.

    It will remind me of the movie nights and dinners. He never slept over, but the few hours he was there

    felt like heaven.

    Pushing those memories away, I make a mental note to have my real estate agent put it up for sale.

    I jump into my Audi and drive off. I had no final destination. I just wanted to clear my head and drive

    around.

    The scenery shes by, but I don¡¯t pay any attention. My head is a mess, and my heart and soul are in

    turmoil. I wish I could make the pain go away. I wish I could pull myself together. I just fucking wish that

    I could heal my wounds and move on, but I don¡¯t know how to do any of that.

    I don¡¯t know for how long I was driving when I came to a stop. I survey the street in confusion,

    wondering where the hell I was. I look to my left, and a gasp leaves my mouth. I¡¯d ended up right

    outside Calvin¡¯s house.

 Chapter 310

    I can¡¯t stop the panic that fills me or the way my heart beats so wildly that I¡¯m afraid it¡¯s going to punch

    a hole through the center of my fucking chest.

    What the hell am I doing here? Why would Ie here of all ces?

    The questions keep swimming in my head, but for the love of me, I have no answer to any of them.

    When I decided to drive around, ending up where Calvin and Gunner live wasn¡¯t on my mind. I just

    thought that I could drive around for a while just to escape the depressing atmosphere that surrounded

    me, then I would go back home, shower, and then take a nap.

    Now here I am, at his ce, and I¡¯m confused about what to do. Should I just leave? Or should I check

    up on him? Maybe he¡¯s not even at home. It¡¯s a weekday, and I bet he¡¯s at work.

    Things between Calvin and me have always beenplicated. Right from when we were in high

    school. He wanted me, and I didn¡¯t. His efforts at trying to win me over when we were younger used to

    irritate me to no end.

    I hated that he never gave up. I hated that he wanted me to be his, even though I had a boyfriend.

    Even though he knew that I was in love with Rowan. It used to piss me off when he

    would start trouble with Rowan over me.

    I just couldn¡¯t get why he didn¡¯t get that I didn¡¯t want him and would never want him. Looking back at

    everything now, I see how he and Ava were so alike. Their determination to get the people they were in

    love with. Their stubbornness and refusal to give up are so simr. Sometimes I wonder how the hell

    they didn¡¯t end up together.

    It would have been perfect if they did. It would have saved all four of us the heartache and pain we

    have all been through.

    Sighing, I push those thoughts away. There is no use wishing for things that can¡¯te true. Shit has

    already happened, and there is just no going back. What I have to do is look forward.

    I looked outside for a moment before turning off my car. I debate for one second too long, then get out

    and just stand next to my car all the while staring at his house.

    Maybe this is a bad idea.

    Before I can chicken out, I suck in a deep breath and force my feet to move. I don¡¯t know why I¡¯m here

    or how I ended up here, but there is a damn good reason. The funny thing about a human¡¯s instincts is

    that it always knows what you need, even when you don¡¯t or don¡¯t understand.

    I get to the door and start pacing. Fuck, I probably look like a deranged person, but damn it. I

    My wish is shattered when, all of a sudden, the door is wrenched open and Calvin¡¯s pissed¨Coff face

    appears.

    ¡°What the hell are you doing here, Emma?¡± He all but growls, the coldness of his voice sending shivers

    down my back

    ¡°I¨CI¡± I try to form the words, but nothinges out of my mouth except a jumbled mess.

    Heck, I didn¡¯t know why the hell I was in here in the first ce, so how can I even answer his question?

    ¡°Speak the fuck up!¡±

    I fold my arms around myself. For the first time, I look at him. I mean, really, look at him.

    I see the agony I¡¯ve put him through over the years. I see the pain that is reflected not only in his eyes

    but also in his attitude towards me. I¡¯ve been so selfish. Only thinking about myself and not really

    caring about the hurt I¡¯ve put him through.

    ¡°How did you know I was here?¡± I ask instead, blinking away the tears that are now forming in my eyes.

    ¡°A neighbor called and told me there was a suspicious woman outside my house,¡± he answers curtly.

    ¡°Now tell me why the fuck you¡¯re here.¡±

    Fuck, I¡¯d been so stupid. I thought I was a good person and that Ava was the evil one, yet I was cruel

    towards Calvin. His only mistake was to love me. I hurt him over and over for that. Using him and

    treating him like trash,

 Chapter 311

    Don¡¯t even get me started on Gunner. He is just a kid, yet I¡¯ve done so much damage that I don¡¯t even

    know where to begin fixing what I¡¯ve broken. He¡¯s my flesh and blood, yet I¡¯ve done everything to run

    from that little fact.

    I feel ashamed when I think of all I¡¯ve put him through. I remember how Ava stood up for Noah. How

    she was ready to go toe to toe with me for his sake. I remember the fire burning in her eyes. She was

    ready to do anything to protect her son, yet I¡¯ve done everything to hurt my own son.

    ¡°I don¡¯t have all fucking day, Emma.¡± His sharp voice brings me back to reality.

    ¡°I was just driving around, and I ended up here,¡± I whisper, feeling really awkward.

    Thest time I saw him was when he told me that he was done with me. I never really got to know

    Calvin, and now I feel awkward around him. When you take out sex in the equation, we were basically

    strangers to each other.

    ¡°I thought I told you I never wanted to see you again¡­ That I didn¡¯t want you in my life or Gunner¡¯s,¡± he

    folds his hands around his chest and making his bicep bulge.

    ¡°I know,¡± I answer, looking down at my feet. I feel so ashamed that it¡¯s hard to keep eye contact with

    me.

    We are quiet for a while, and Mom¡¯s wordse back to me.

    How about you start by righting your wrongs?

    Was it really that easy? And would he and Gunner even forgive me for years and years of pain?

    ¡°You need to leave, Emma.¡± Calvin¡¯s voice interrupts my musings. ¡°I don¡¯t want Gunner toe home

    and find you here.¡±

    Mom¡¯s words keep ying in my head as I stare at him. The more I thought about them, the more I

    epted them. Maybe it was time I made amends. The moment they settle inside me, peace washes

    over me.

    This is why I ended up here. My heart and soul knew that this was what I needed to do. It was time to

    fix everything I destroyed with my bare hands, all because I couldn¡¯t let go of a love that was dead and

    gone.

    ¡°Can I stay and meet him?¡± I ask, begging with my eyes. ¡°I¡¯m sorry for all the shit I put you and Gunner

    through. I want to fix things. Give me a chance to fix things and redeem myself. I want to be in his life.¡±

    He stares at me for a while. His eyes prating mine. I hold my breath, waiting for his answer.

    Waiting to hear what he has to say.

    My heart drops, and my soul shatters when he shakes his head. ¡°No, the thing is, Emma, you¡¯re

    already toote. The damage you caused can¡¯t be undone. The pain is embedded deep inside our

    hearts, and I doubt it will ever go away. I gave you chances over and over again, but you threw them

    away. You¡¯ve broken my son¡¯s and my hearts; I won¡¯t let you do that again. Neither will I let us be your

    second choice simply because Rowan no longer wants you. We¡¯re done, Emma.¡±

    He doesn¡¯t give me a chance to reply; with that, he turns, walks inside, and ms the door in my face,

    leaving my heart bleeding on the floor.

    This is all my fault. I¡¯m responsible for my own heartbreak. If only I¡¯d pulled my head out of my ass

    sooner. If only I¡¯d tried making amends when I had the chance. If only I hadn¡¯t been stubborn, maybe

    things would be different. Maybe I would have a rtionship with Gunner.

    I stand there for a while before walking back to my car, defeated, feeling like I¡¯ve lost everything. I wipe

    the tears that fall down my face like a flowing river. He is right, though; he gave me so many chances,

    yet I blew them. I only have myself to me, no one else.

 Chapter 312

    Chapter 0312 Letty and Corrine were supposed to be arriving in the next few minutes, but 1 couldn¡¯t

    calm down.

    To be honest, I don¡¯t even know why the hell I was so nervous, ¡°Ava, should I prepare the drinks and

    snacks for your guests?"

    Teresa¡¯asks, stepping into the living room.

    I nod my head.

    ¡°Yes, that will be great, thank you,"

    Iris was soundly asleep in her bass, Noah was at school, and Rowan was at work.

    I sigh in frustration.

    Noah was still pretty pis sed at me for forcing him to invite Sierra to his birthday party.

    He wasn¡¯t even talking to me.

    Whenever I asked him a question or talked to him, he would just re at me.

    His behavior and attitude just pis ses me off even more.

    I get he doesn¡¯t like the girl, but refusing to invite her while everyone elsees to his party is

    downright cruel, I refuse to have a hateful son.

    Besides, he doesn¡¯t even have to talk to or interact with her.

    I¡¯m sure there will be enough children there to keep her upied, I take a seat on the floor and cross

    my legs.

    My mind moves on to Rowan.

    He was the other bane of my existence.

    Maybe I am stu pid or maybe I am delusional, but I decided to give him the chance he asked for.

    Rowan has never begged in his life, so this must be important.

    Hate me or love me, but I¡¯m going to hold off the need to know the truth until I can¡¯t anymore.

    Right now, I just want to enjoy this life blissfully before things crumble, because, trust me, I know that

    once my memory returns, this perfect illusion will crumble.

    ¡°Ma¡¯am?"

    His voice startles me, and I look up at Morris, one of the guards hired by Rowan.

    I¡¯ve made it a point to know the names of everyone who works for us.

    ¡°Yes?"

    ¡°I wanted to inform you that you have some guests."

    I give him a small smile and say, ¡°Thank you, Morris, and let them in."

    He nods his head and leaves.

    Taking a deep breath, I try to calm my beating heart, and I stand up.

    I feel the need to start pacing; instead, I force myself to sit down and rx.

    Secondster, Letty and Corrine walk in.

    Letty wore a white and ck off-shoulder pair of shorts, and sneakers.

    It made her look young for her age.

    Corrine, on the other hand, wore a cream vintage t-shirt, a pair of blue jeans, and nude wedge heels.

    top, a ck ¡°Hi!"

    I greet sheepishly, standing up.

    I wasn¡¯t really sure what to do.

    Should I shake their hands? Should I hug them? Did I want to hug them? Before I can decide what to

    do, Corrine rushes to me and envelops me in a hug.

    Secondster, Letty joins, making it a group hug.

    ¡°Da mn, I¡¯ve missed you so much, Ava,"

    Corrine whispers in my ear, emotions clogging her voice.

    I don¡¯t say anything.

    Just hug them back.

    In my current state, I didn¡¯t really know them, but deep down, my heart and soul just connected with

    them.

    I can¡¯t exin it.

    I just knew that they were my people.

    Our moment is interrupted by Iris loud wails.

    We step away from each other as we all chuckled.

    I move and get her from the bass.

    She immediately quiets down, but now she was wide awake.

    ¡°My niece,"

    Letty squeals, taking her from my hand and peppering her face with kisses Iris¡¯s eyes widen, and I¡¯m

    afraid that she¡¯s about to cry, but she doesn¡¯t.

    She just stares at her as if she was a specimen she was studying.

    We take a seat just as Teresa arrives with drinks and snacks.

    After greeting my two friends, she leaves us to our own devices.

    ¡°Da mn girl, you know how to choose good genes for your babies.

    First, Noah.

    We all know that boy is going to be as good-looking as his father.

    He will be giving a lot of girls sleepless nights¡­ And now, Iris, she¡¯s going to be drop-dead gorgeous,

    especially with her blue eyes; they¡¯re hypnotizing just like Ethan¡¯s."

    Letty breaks the silence.

    I just chuckle because I know it¡¯s the d amn truth.

    My kids were gorgeous; there was no denying that.

 Chapter 313

    ¡°True, but yours will also turn out good-looking¡­ I mean, you¡¯re gorgeous and Travis, despite his ws,

    is hot."

    Corrine chimes ¡°You haven¡¯t seen him without clothes; the guy is a masterpiece,"

    Letty says with a smirk.

    I crunch up my nose ¡°Please stop,"

    I beg her.

    We may not be real siblings, but all my life, he has been my brother.

    Hearing Letty talk about him in that regard makes me want to buff.

    She looks at me andughs, but she doesn¡¯t continue on the topic.

    I turn to Corrine.

    ¡°What about you?"

    ¡°Maybe you should date Gabe,"

    Letty suggests.

    She¡¯s so giddy, it¡¯s amusing.

    ¡°It would be so cool if we all dated the trio best friends.

    ¡°No thanks.Gabe is a casanova, for heaven¡¯s sake.It¡¯s said he has a new woman every week.Besides,

    he¡¯s not my type," she pauses.

    ¡°Plus, I don¡¯t have time to date or be in a serious rtionship," she answers with a shrug.

    ¡°So you¡¯re not sleeping with anyone?" Letty asks her.

    Corrine takes a moment to answer.

    She takes Iris from Letty¡¯s arms and cradles her, then kisses her forehead.

    It warmed me that both of them loved my daughter.

    ¡°No.I haven¡¯t had sex in months," she finally answers.

    ¡°Anyone you like?" I question her.

    She averts her eyes.

    Something shes in her eyes.

    It was too fast for me to read, and it got me really curious.

    ¡°Corrine?"

    Letty must have sensed something too, because she says her name in a warning manner.

    Her eyes look at us before they shift away again.

    I don¡¯t know how I knew it, but she was hiding something.

    She was debating something.

    ¡°Out with it,"

    I tell her, the words flowing effortlessly out of my mouth.I felt sofortable with them.

    With any other person, I don¡¯t think I would have told them that.

    ¡°Fine," she says, taking a deep breath.

    ¡°Reaper showed up at my house two days ago."

    Letty gasps in shock, but I just stare at them in confusion.

    ¡°Who¡¯s Reaper? I¡¯ve heard Rowan mention him before."

    ¡°Reaper is the king of the underground, a crime lord.

    He¡¯s a criminal.

    He¡¯s the one that killed

    My eyes widen at that information.

    Of everything I thought and wondered about him, nothing came close to Letty told me.

    A criminal? Seriously? ¡°Why would Rowan be inmunication with a criminal?"

    I was genuinely puzzled.

    Reaper didn¡¯t seem like someone Rowan would associate himself with.

    ¡°Because, one, he was your friend¡­"

    I cut her off before she can finish her sentence.

    ¡°Why the hell would I be friends with a criminal and someone that kidnapped me?"

    I almost shout, but then I remembered Iris.

    She was struggling to stay awake.

    Letty res at me, ¡°As I was saying before you rudely interrupted me, Reaper is Ethan¡¯s brother,

    meaning he¡¯s Iris¡¯s uncle."

    As if things couldn¡¯t get worse, she had to just drop the final bomb to leave me speechless and

    confused as hell.

    I watch sightlessly as Corrine stands up andys Iris back inside her Bass.

    Once again she was fast asleep.

    ¡°I thought Ethan was adopted?"

    I ask confused.

    Corrine and Letty proceed to tell me everything single thing.

    It honestly blows my mind.

    Who would have thought that the man that killed the man that adopted me, is my daughter¡¯s uncle? No

    wonder people always say that it¡¯s a small world.

    ¡°So what are you nning to do about him? And what did he want?"

    I ask Corrine, who by the look of it is confused about the whole situation.

    ¡°Isn¡¯t it obvious? He wanted to f uck" she shrugs.

    ¡°He was hoping for a no string rtionship until we could both f uck each other out of our systems¡­ As

    for the other question, I don¡¯t know what to do"

    I¡¯m not promiscuous; I never have been.

    I¡¯ve been with one person-two, actually-so I don¡¯t really know what to tell her.

    Corrine and Letty looked more experienced when it came to sex.

    ¡°You two had a moment when he came to the hospital that day.

    I think everyone who was paying attention noticed.

    There is way that he looked at you.

    Like he was hungry and you were his next meal"

    Letty casually says, her eyes drilling into Corrine¡¯sChapter 0313 ¡°True, but yours will also turn out

    good-looking¡­ I mean, you¡¯re gorgeous and Travis, despite his ws, is hot."

    Corrine chimes ¡°You haven¡¯t seen him without clothes; the guy is a masterpiece,"

    Letty says with a smirk.

    I crunch up my nose ¡°Please stop,"

    I beg her.

    We may not be real siblings, but all my life, he has been my brother.

    Hearing Letty talk about him in that regard makes me want to buff.

    She looks at me andughs, but she doesn¡¯t continue on the topic.

    I turn to Corrine.

    ¡°What about you?"

    ¡°Maybe you should date Gabe,"

    Letty suggests.

    She¡¯s so giddy, it¡¯s amusing.

    ¡°It would be so cool if we all dated the trio best friends.

    ¡°No thanks. Gabe is a casanova, for heaven¡¯s sake. It¡¯s said he has a new woman every week.

    Besides, he¡¯s not my type," she pauses.

    ¡°Plus, I don¡¯t have time to date or be in a serious rtionship," she answers with a shrug.

    ¡°So you¡¯re not sleeping with anyone?" Letty asks her.

    Corrine takes a moment to answer.

    She takes Iris from Letty¡¯s arms and cradles her, then kisses her forehead. It warmed me that both of

    them loved my daughter.

    ¡°No. I haven¡¯t had sex in months," she finally answers.

    ¡°Anyone you like?" I question her.

    She averts her eyes.

    Something shes in her eyes.

    It was too fast for me to read, and it got me really curious.

    ¡°Corrine?"

    Letty must have sensed something too, because she says her name in a warning manner.

    Her eyes look at us before they shift away again.

    I don¡¯t know how I knew it, but she was hiding something.

    She was debating something.

    ¡°Out with it,"

    I tell her, the words flowing effortlessly out of my mouth.

    I felt sofortable with them.

    With any other person, I don¡¯t think I would have told them that.

    ¡°Fine," she says, taking a deep breath.

    ¡°Reaper showed up at my house two days ago."

    Letty gasps in shock, but I just stare at them in confusion.

    ¡°Who¡¯s Reaper? I¡¯ve heard Rowan mention him before."

    ¡°Reaper is the king of the underground, a crime lord.

    He¡¯s a criminal.

    He¡¯s the one that killed +15 BONUS My eyes widen at that information.

    Of everything I thought and wondered about him, nothing came close to Letty told me.

    A criminal? Seriously? ¡°Why would Rowan be inmunication with a criminal?"

    I was genuinely puzzled.

    Reaper didn¡¯t seem like someone Rowan would associate himself with.

    ¡°Because, one, he was your friend¡­"

    I cut her off before she can finish her sentence.

    ¡°Why the hell would I be friends with a criminal and someone that kidnapped me?"

    I almost shout, but then I remembered Iris.

    She was struggling to stay awake.

    Letty res at me, ¡°As I was saying before you rudely interrupted me, Reaper is Ethan¡¯s brother,

    meaning he¡¯s Iris¡¯s uncle."

    As if things couldn¡¯t get worse, she had to just drop the final bomb to leave me speechless and

    confused as hell.

    I watch sightlessly as Corrine stands up andys Iris back inside her Bass.

    Once again she was fast asleep.

    ¡°I thought Ethan was adopted?"

    I ask confused.

    Corrine and Letty proceed to tell me everything single thing.

    It honestly blows my mind.

    Who would have thought that the man that killed the man that adopted me, is my daughter¡¯s uncle? No

    wonder people always say that it¡¯s a small world.

    ¡°So what are you nning to do about him? And what did he want?"

    I ask Corrine, who by the look of it is confused about the whole situation.

    ¡°Isn¡¯t it obvious? He wanted to f uck"

    she shrugs.

    ¡°He was hoping for a no string rtionship until we could both f uck each other out of our systems¡­ As

    for the other question, I don¡¯t know what to do"

    I¡¯m not promiscuous; I never have been.

    I¡¯ve been with one person-two, actually-so I don¡¯t really know what to tell her.

    Corrine and Letty looked more experienced when it came to sex.

    ¡°You two had a moment when he came to the hospital that day.

    I think everyone who was paying attention noticed.

    There is way that he looked at you.

    Like he was hungry and you were his next meal"

    Letty casually says, her eyes drilling into Corrine¡¯s

 Chapter 314

    Chapter 0314

    ¡°So what do you think I should do?¡± Corrine asks looking at the both of us for answers.

    ¡°First thing¡¯s first, do you want him?¡± I curiously ask.

    That was the first question she needed to ask herself. We couldn¡¯t proceed until she answered that

    question.

    ¡°Well, I¡¯m insanely attracted to him, but I don¡¯t know if I should get involved with him. The police are still

    on his trail, and I don¡¯t want a rtionship that will blow up in my face and ruin everything I¡¯ve worked

    for,¡± she answers after a while.

    I get what she meant. Reaper wasn¡¯t just anybody. He was a criminal, meaning getting involved with

    him would have dire consequences, which made me wonder what the hell I was thinking being friends

    with the man. I get he¡¯s Iris¡¯s uncle, but the man is dangerous and wanted by the freaking cops. 1

    ¡°I think you should do it try. F uck him once then decide from there¡± Letty tells her. I go to interrupt her,

    thinking she¡¯s out of her mind, but she cuts me off. ¡°Hear me out. We both know that Ava isn¡¯t someone

    to trust blindly. Well, except for Ethan, she¡¯s a pretty good judge of character.

    Even with Ethan, we can admit he¡¯s a decent guy. He only allowed greed and power to get in his head.

    He wanted what he though was rightfully his. The fact that Ava gave Reaper a chance means

    something. She isn¡¯t stu pid and wouldn¡¯t do anything that would risk Noah and Iris or put them in

    danger. I trust her judgement and I think you should too.

    Besides, didn¡¯t he say he was working on something to clear his name? It might be legal, it might not, I

    honestly don¡¯t care, not when Travis told me the effort he is putting to make sure that Ava is safe. So

    yeah, I think you should give it a shot if you really want him¡±

    Da mn, I wanted to argue, but I couldn¡¯t. Letty had a good point. I would never put my children in

    danger or risk their safety. I may be na?ve but I wasn¡¯t stu pid. If I gave Reaper a chance, it meant that

    against all odds, against what he did for a living, against the target on his back and against his dark

    personality, I trusted him. I sigh, knowing that Letty is right. Turning to Corrine, I watch her as she

    thinks the entire situation through, weighing the pros and cons.

    ¡°So what will you do?¡± I mumble, waiting for her answer.

    She takes her time, before finally releasing a breath of air. ¡°This might be the worst mistake I¡¯ll ever

    make, but I think I¡¯ll take him up on the offer. I¡¯ll give it one night, and if the sex is good then I¡¯ll ept

    his propsal. Besides, it will suit me fine. I don¡¯t have time to date or look

    She pauses before continuing. ¡°Plus, it¡¯s another ¡®f uck you¡¯ to my father. He always hated me because

    I wasn¡¯t born a boy. That¡¯s why he gave the constructionpany to my brother even though I am the

    eldest. Nothing I did was ever good enough for him, and in retaliation, I did everything he didn¡¯t

    approve. Anything that could spi ke up his blood pressure¡±

    Wow, seems like I wasn¡¯t the only one that didn¡¯t have an easy childhood. I¡¯m d though, that it didn¡¯t

    break her.

    ¡°I never knew that, Corrine, Why have you never said anything?¡± Letty takes Corrine¡¯s hand infort

    while I rubbed her back.

    ¡°It¡¯s not something I want people to know¡­ Besides, I¡¯m trying to move on and heal. Talking about it

    means, remembering, and I don¡¯t want to remember¡±

    We nod our heads in understanding. After all, aren¡¯t I in the same situation now? I¡¯m trying to move on

    and forget Rowan¡¯s past mistakes.

    ¡°Anyway¡± she cuts the silence after a while and faces me. ¡°How is your rtionship with Rowan?¡±

    I groan, ¡°We have a date today and I have nothing to wear¡±

    Hey Loves, sorry I didn¡¯t post yesterday, I have been I¡¯ll these past few days. I just wanted to apologize

    for that and also to thank all of you for all your support. Ex-Huband¡¯s Regret won first ce in a

    competition I entered. This wouldn¡¯t have been possible without your continued love and support.

    There is no trophy, but I dedicate this win to each and everyone of you for being the best readers and

    fans. Words aren¡¯t enough to express my gratitude, but thank you so much from the bottom of my

    heart¡­ Take care and stay safe. Bye.

 Chapter 315

    ¡°Seriously?¡± Letty asks, shocked.

    ¡°Yes,¡± I answer. ¡°I went through my closet today just to be prepared, and there is nothing date -worthy

    there. I didn¡¯t even have a short little ck dress.¡±

    To be honest, this is surprising. I remember that one memory I had of Ethan. We went on a date and I

    had a pretty tight red dress. Not that I was nning to wear it, but it wasn¡¯t in my closet. I had nothing

    but some pair of jeans and sundresses.

    ¡°Worry not, our dear friend, we will help you¡­ In fact, I think we should go shopping,¡± Corrine beamed

    in a sing¨Csong voice.

    That sounded exciting, but I couldn¡¯t help but wonder about Iris. I didn¡¯t want to bring her along

    because we all know that shopping is a long and tiring process, but I also didn¡¯t want to leave her here.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I murmur, biting my lips.

    It¡¯s not that I didn¡¯t trust Teresa, but I just didn¡¯t feelfortable leaving her with her. It would have

    been okay if Noah or Rowan were around, but they weren¡¯t.

    ¡°It¡¯s about Iris, isn¡¯t it?¡± Letty asks while searching my eyes.

    Instead of answering, I just nod my head. I really wanted to go shopping. I¡¯ve been cooped up in this

    house for so long that it¡¯s driving me crazy. Besides, I wanted this experience. I never had girl friends

    growing up. No friends to go shopping with or talk about boys and such stuff. This was all new, even

    though I know we¡¯ve probably done this before, so I wanted to experience it.

    ¡°If it troubles you so much, I can lend you one of my dresses so that we can bring Iris with us. We can

    always go shopping at ater date,¡± Corrine suggests, and I smile.

    I¡¯ve only interacted with these two a couple of times, but so far, I like them a lot. They¡¯re kind, lovely,

    and pretty great friends. No wonder I became friends with them.

    ¡°Thanks, but let me talk to Rowan first, and then we can figure something out.¡±

    I stand up and leave them to have their drinks while I go upstairs. I¡¯d left my phone there since I rarely

    use it. I spot it on the bedside drawer immediately when I get there. Picking it up, I dial Rowan¡¯s

    number.

    He picks up on the first ring, which just warms my heart. This is something I have noticed since I woke

    up. Unlike b¨¦fore, when he would rarely take my calls, these days, he answers on the first ring as if he

    were waiting and eager for my call.

    ¡°Hi darling, how¡¯s your day? And have Corrine and Letty arrived yet?¡± His deep voicees

    I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll ever get tired of hearing him call me sweet names, especially when he says it in his

    deep and sexy voice. There is just something about it that renders me weak in the knees.

    ¡°Hi,¡± I squeak for some unknown reason. ¡°It¡¯s great, honestly. Those two are, honestly, amazing. They

    even wanted to take me out shopping for tonight¡¯s date.¡±

    ¡°d to hear that¡­ Is the matter concerning shopping the reason you called? You do know you don¡¯t

    need my permission to go anywhere. Provided you have a bodyguard with you, then I don¡¯t mind.¡±

    I never thought I would ever be in this position. I hated being followed around by a bodyguard as if I

    were someone important, but I also understand that until they catch whoever tried to kill me, then this is

    my life.

    ¡°No, that¡¯s not the reason¡­ I don¡¯t want to take Iris with me, but I also don¡¯t want to leave her here with

    Teresa.¡±

    He¡¯s quiet for a while. I sit down on our bed as I wait for him to speak up. Maybe he could give me a

    solution to my dilemma.

    ¡°How about you give me some time toe up with something?¡± He asks, and I nod, forgetting that he

    couldn¡¯t see me.

 Chapter 316

    ¡°Yeah, sure¡±

    After that, he hangs up. I breathed out, feeling disappointed that he didn¡¯t offer a solution. At this point,

    I think either I take Corrine up on her offer, or we just go with Iris, which will be a huge headache.

    Shopping with a baby usually is.

    Taking the phone with me, I head downstairs. Iris was still asleep, and Corrine and Letty were chatting.

    The snacks Teresa had brought were almost finished.

    ¡°So, what did he say?¡± Letty asks after swallowing a cookie.

    I answer with a shrug ¡°Nothing much. He just told me to wait as hees up with something.¡±

    I take my seat and pick up a cookie. Shoving it in my mouth, I chew and almost moan at how delicious

    it was. Teresa told me that she uses a secret recipe that was passed down from her great¨C

    grandmother. I¡¯m yet to convince her to share the said recipe.

    ¡°Damn, Teresa knows how to bring about a food orgasm¡­ This is freaking amazing,¡± Corrine praised

    as she took another cookie.

    I just smile, knowing that she¡¯s right. Noah can¡¯t get enough of them, and neither can I. Rowan doesn¡¯t

    really love sweet things, but he tried them once, and he had to admit that they were good. If Teresa

    ever decided to start a cookie business, she would sell. That¡¯s how good she was.

    We continue to chat and fill ourselves with Teresa¡¯s goodies. Thirty minutester, there was still no

    word from Rowan.

    Exhaling in defeat, I turn to Corrine. ¡°I think I¡¯ll take you up on your offer. It¡¯ll be hectic shopping with Iris

    and at this point, I don¡¯t think Rowan will get back to me.¡±

    ¡°Sure¡­ I have this ck dress that I¡¯m sure would look amazing on you,¡± she says with a smile.

    I was just about to leave to go and change since I was in a pair of sweatpants when I heard the door

    open. Frowning, I pause, wondering who it was. I¡¯m surprised when Rowan appears in the living room.

    ¡°Hellodies,¡± he says to my friends beforeing to me. He doesn¡¯t even wait for them to great him

    back.

    Taking me in his arms, he kisses me like he¡¯s thirsty and I¡¯m the only drink left.

    ¡°What are you doing?¡± I ask after we break apart. It wasn¡¯t even noon yet.

    Megemea chaking out that leaves me mesmerised by it. ¡°Well, you said you wanted to by the words

    coming out of his checks, ¡°The good thing about being the thing about being the boss is that I can do

    whatever the fuck including saving to babysit ughter so that my wOH go shopping with her

    Ex bim te knew how to make me weak with his words How the hell have I never realized that Sowan is

    a charmer? This is the Rowan I fell in love with Not the cold, cruel man that i re notte,¡± he uttered,

    while his finger tapped my ass lightly.

    ¡°Now go and change so you¡¯re not

    Swallowing, I turn around and leave the

    t

    feet powerful was on top of the word

    all the while fooling his eyes on me. It made me

    It doesn¡¯t take me long to finish dresstug up. Just like Corrine, Lopted for at shirt and pair of jeans, but

    instead of wedges, I wore ts. There was no way I was going shopping wearing wexiges or heels. Aty

    feet would be falling

    I take my purse and rush downstairs Howan was seated on one of the chairs, feeding Iris who was now

    awake. Corrine and Letty were studying him, seeming mesmerized by him

    ¡°I¡¯m ready,¡± Lannounce, catching their attention.

    ¡°Great¡±

    Both Letty and Corrine stand up and begin leaving. I walk to where Rowan is and give both him and tris

    a kiss. Before I can leave, he grabs my hand.

    He gives me a dashing smile that leaves me mesmerized by it. ¡°Well, you said you wanted to go

    shopping, so I¡¯m here to babysit while you do your thing.¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t do that; what about work?¡± I ask, still stunned by the wordsing out of his mouth.

    Rowan chuckles, ¡°The good thing about being the boss is that I can do whatever the fuck I want,

    including leaving to babysit my daughter so that my woman can go shopping with her friends.¡±

    Damn him. He knew how to make me weak with his words. How the hell have I never realized

    that Rowan is a charmer? This is the Rowan I fell in love with. Not the cold, cruel man that I got married

    to.

    ¡°Now go and change so you¡¯re notte,¡± he uttered, while his finger tapped my ass lightly.

    Swallowing, I turn around and leave the room, all the while feeling his eyes on me. It made me feel

    powerful. I was on top of the word.

    It doesn¡¯t take me long to finish dressing up. Just like Corrine, I opted for a t¨Cshirt and pair of jeans, but

    instead of wedges, I wore ts. There was no way I was going shopping wearing wedges or heels. My

    feet would be killing me after.

    I take my purse and rush downstairs. Rowan was seated on one of the chairs, feeding Iris who was

    now awake. Corrine and Letty were studying him, seeming mesmerized by him.

    ¡°I¡¯m ready,¡± I announce, catching their attention.

    ¡°Great¡±

    Both Letty and Corrine stand up and begin leaving. I walk to where Rowan is and give both him and Iris

    a kiss. Before I can leave, he grabs my hand.

 Chapter 317

    ¡°Take this,¡± hemands, giving me his ck card.

    I stared at the card with uncertainty. ¡°Rowan¡­¡±

    ¡°Take it, Ava. You¡¯re now mine, meaning everything I have is as long as we¡¯re together, you don¡¯t get to

    use it.¡±

    Frowning in confusion, my eyes shift from the card to him. I didn¡¯t understand what he meant by ¡®I have

    money¡®. I didn¡¯t have time to question him, nor did I argue, because with the way he was looking at me,

    I knew he wouldn¡¯t budge.

    ¡°Fine,¡± I mutter, taking the card. ¡°Thank you¡±

    I wasn¡¯t nning to use it, but he didn¡¯t need to know that now, did he? After saying goodbye,

    I leave our home. We decide to use one car, so one of the bodyguards drives us to the mall.

    I was so excited that I could barely contain myself. Soon enough, we get there, and after

    parking the car, we head straight to the shops while Morris follows behind.

    ¡°So what exactly are you looking for?¡± Letty asks when we enter one of the exclusive shops.

    I look at the ce in nervousness, my mind reeling from the price tags.

    ¡°Letty, I don¡¯t think I can afford anything here¡± Imented in a shrill voice. ¡°The price here, is enough

    to give me a damn heart attack¡±

    They look at each other before turning to me. ¡°What the hell are you talking about¡± Corrine looks at me

    in confusion.

    ¡°I mean, with my teacher sry, I can¡¯t afford any of this, and I don¡¯t want to use the card that Rowan

    gave me. Let¡¯s just look for something cheaper.¡±

    Letty takes my hand and leads me to the couch, while Corrine asks the shop assistant to give us some

    time.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know if Rowan told you this, but you¡¯re parents are freaking rich, Ava. You know who the

    Howell¡¯s are, right?¡± She asks, and I nod. Everyone knew who they were. ¡°Well, your parents are the

    Howell¡¯s. Nora and Theo Howell¡±

    I stare at her, not sure whether I should believe her or not. I haven¡¯t talked to them in a while, even

    though they¡¯ve reached out a lot. I nned to visit them next week.

    ¡°Apart from that, you¡¯re rich all on your own, Ava. You don¡¯t need Rowan¡¯s or your parent¡¯s money. You

    are a freaking millionaire, so I¡¯m damn sure you can afford anything in this shop,¡± she finishes, blowing

    my mind.

    ¡°How the hell am I rich?¡± I asked, unable toprehend what she was telling me. It feels like for the

    fact that Rowan took care of everything rted to Noah, I would have been in deep shit.

    ¡°That¡¯s a story for another day,¡± she says. ¡°For now, let¡¯s get you something that will make sure

    Rowan¡¯s eyes are on you the whole night.¡±

    We get to work and after going through so many dresses and so many shops, we finally settle on a

    dress that all of us agree on. Since I apparently had money, I also went on shopping spree. I bought

    new dresses, skirts, shoes, tops and so on. I also bought somethings for the kids.

    By the time we were done, I was tired but excited at the same time.

    ¡°I¡¯m so happy for you, Ava.¡± Letty says this while we are on our way home. ¡°I¡¯m d to see this thing

    between you and Rowan working out.

    ¡°Of all of us, she was the one who realized that Rowan loved you even though you kept denying it.

    She¡¯s been Team Rowan from the start,¡± Corrine adds with a smile.

    I was happy. Truly happy. My only prayer is that nothing messes it up.

 Chapter 318

    I look at myself in the mirror, happy with how I look. My hair was in a low bun, with curled tendrils

    framing my face. Tonight I wanted something different since it was my first ever date with Rowan, so I

    decided on a subtle but sexy, smoky eyeshadow and red lipstick.

    As for my dress, I picked a ck knee¨Clength dress. It has a plunging neckline that is delicately held

    together by thin straps. It highlighted just the right amount of cleave, enough to tease but note out

    as trashy. It had an open back that I was sure would drive any man crazy.

    I continue staring at myself as I run my hand down the soft fabric. The dress was figure- hugging, and

    thanks to being pregnant, I now had curves in all the right ces.

    ¡°Damn, babes¡­ if I wasn¡¯t straight, I would¡¯ve definitely done you.¡± Letty praised, happiness dripping

    from her voice. ¡°You¡¯re sexy. Hell has nothing on your hotness.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s right,¡± Corrine chimes in.

    They had left a couple of hours ago. We were now on Skype, since I wanted to get their honest

    opinion. This date was important. Like I said, it¡¯s Rowan and I¡¯s first date, so I wanted everything to be

    perfect.

    ¡°Thank you,¡± I smile at them.

    I take a seat on the bed and put my heels on. I honestly don¡¯t remember thest time I dressed up or

    wore heels. Rowan rarely took me out before, even for work dinners, so I didn¡¯t really have an

    opportunity to dress up.

    I don¡¯t know if that changedter, but I¡¯m guessing it did since I remember how amazing I looked when

    Ethan came to get me. Shaking those thoughts from my mind, I focus on my date ahead.

    ¡°I¡¯m nervous though,¡± I admit. ¡°What if we don¡¯t click? I know we are married, but what if we realize that

    we aren¡¯tpatible? Or what if something else terrible happens?¡±

    Damn, this was so hard. A part of me wanted to cancel the entire thing because I was nervous and

    afraid. The other part just wanted to take the risk and just be in the moment.

    I¡¯ve wanted to experience this for so long. I always wanted Rowan to court me, to woo me, but he

    wasn¡¯t interested. Now it¡¯s finally happening, and all I can think of is everything that could go wrong.

    ¡°Stop it, Ava; you¡¯re going to drive yourself crazy.¡± Letty admonishes me. I see a shadow behind her,

    and I¡¯m sure¡¯it¡¯s Travis since they live together. ¡°Just live in the moment. Take a leap of faith and enjoy

    going out for dinner.¡±

    Corrine doesn¡¯t say anything, but she shows her approval by nodding her head.

    I take a calming breath before releasing it. ¡°You¡¯re right. I¡¯m just overthinking things.¡±

    ¡°Exactly. Be happy and enjoy tonight. You deserve to be happy, babe, and you deserve to be with the

    man of your dreams,¡± Letty gushed, her smile bright and brilliant.

    After we¡¯d talked for a while, we hung up. I take my purse and give myself onest look. Corrine and

    Letty were right. I did look sexy, and I was loving it.

    I head downstairs, where I hear Rowan and Noah before I can see them. Rowan had gotten ready in

    the guest bedroom while I used the masters.

    I was nervous because I was dying to see his reaction. I¡¯ve never dressed up for him, so I know seeing

    me like this will be a surprise for him.

    I find them in the kitchen. Rowan was rocking Iris and blowing bubbles on her belly. She was

    screaming inughter, which warmed my heart. Noah sat next to his father, looking all broody.

    ¡°Are you ready?¡± I ask, making Rowan look up.

    At first, it¡¯s like his mind goes nk, then he takes a double take, his eyes moving slowly down my

    body. I see him swallow as his eyes darken into dark grey storms. Oh yeah, he definitely liked what he

    was seeing.

    ¡°You¡¯re drooling, Dad,¡± Noah tells him with a small chuckle.

    I can¡¯t stop the smirk that forms on my lips. Slowly, he stands up and walks the short distance to me.

    Holding Iris with one hand, he uses the other to grab me and pull me flush against his body before

    kissing the daylights out of me.

    I hear Noah groan behind him.

    Using all my might, I pull away from him. ¡°You¡¯re going to ruin my lipstick.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t really care,¡± he fires back, his eyes still on my lips

    ¡°Are you ready? We don¡¯t want to bete,¡± I ask him, stepping away from his heat that seemed to want

    to suck me back into his embrace.

    I¡¯d be lying if I said I didn¡¯t like the way his eyes seemed to be stuck on me. This is a whole new

    experience. Something I never thought would ever happen, so yeah, I was enjoying this so damn

    much.

    ¡°We don¡¯t really have to go,¡± he murmurs, his voiceing out throaty and hoarse.

    ¡°You¡¯re the one who wanted this date, big man.¡± I chuckle, ¡°Soe on, it¡¯s time for us to go¡±

    He agrees reluctantly before he yells for Teresa. When shees, she takes Iris from his arms.

    ¡°You look lovely, Ava,¡± she tells me sweetly.

    ¡°Thank you, Teresa.¡±

    I give Iris a kiss on the head before turning to Noah. He was ring at me, so I guess he was still

    pissed. Still, I pull him to me. He fought me, but I wasn¡¯t going to let go. After hugging him, I give him a

    kiss and tell him goodnight.

    He doesn¡¯t say anything. He just stubbornly folds his arms across his chest.

    ¡°Noah¡­¡± Rowan growled his name in warning; he was furious at his behavior towards me.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay¡±

    I didn¡¯t want anything to spoil the mood tonight, so when he doesn¡¯t say anything, I grab Rowan¡¯s hand

    and turn us around. I¡¯ll give him a bit more time.

    ¡°I¡¯m still mad at you, Mom, but you look really beautiful tonight.¡± His voice makes me stop and turn

    around. The stubborn arch of his brows was still there, but right now it didn¡¯t matter.

    ¡°Thank you, my love.¡±

    We leave after that, knowing very well that, with time, Noah wille around. I didn¡¯t need to worry

    because I knew him. He was my son, and this was a way of testing if I would budge and let him have

    his way. Once he realizes that I¡¯m not going to change my mind, he¡¯ll stop being stubborn.

    ¡°So, where are you taking me?¡± I ask Rowan once we get into his car.

    ¡°You¡¯ll see, I have a couple of surprises for you,¡± he replies. ¡°I know you think I don¡¯t know you, but I do,

    Ava.¡±

    I smile, but I don¡¯t say anything. I doubt he knows me. Rowan has never paid attention to me or

    anything that concerned me, so I¡¯m sure he doesn¡¯t know my likes and dislikes, but let¡¯s wait and see.

    I can¡¯t wait to see what he¡¯s nned for tonight.

 Chapter 319

    The drive wasn¡¯t that long, and apart from having a small chat here and there, we remained silent. For

    the first time since I can remember, the silence between us wasfortable.

    On the rare asions that we drove together, Rowan would do his best to ignore me, while I tried my

    best to engage him in a conversation. It would always leave the atmosphere feeling awkward and

    weird.

    ¡°Why are you smiling?¡± I ask him when he gets out to help me out of the car.

    His smile should be a weapon of mass distraction for women. Sure, he¡¯s hot, but when Rowan smiles,

    it just elevates his looks to another level.

    ¡°Can¡¯t I be happy that I¡¯m taking my woman out?¡± he asks, his head tilted to the side. (2)

    For some reason, I giggle. I¡¯m not the kind of woman to giggle. I¡¯ve never giggled in my entire life. In

    fact, I used to find it repulsive when a grown ass woman did it, yet I was doing it.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I don¡¯t know why the hell I giggled.¡± I apologize while trying to pull myself together

    He takes my hand, and I wrap it around his bicep. The intimacy between us is wild. Sometimes I pinch

    myself just to make sure that I¡¯m not dreaming.

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to apologize¡­ It actually suits you, and I like it.¡±

    I¡¯m really not convinced, but I smile anyway.

    We make our way to the entrance of the restaurant. Just like I guessed, the ce was extravagant, and

    it screamed money. I internallyughed; I knew it. Rowan really didn¡¯t have a clue about my likes and

    dislikes.

    ¡°Mr. Wood, your table is ready,¡± the hostess says the minute she spots us.

    Rowan just gives her a nod, and she begins walking, leading us to our table. I ignore the heads that

    turn to look at us. Rowan was famous, and ording to Letty, so was I because of my foundation. I

    hate fame, and as much as I had looked forward to this date, the excitement was starting to dwindle.

    The hostess leaves after serving us wine, promising that a waiter will be by to take our orders.

    ¡°Have I told you that you look stunning tonight?¡± he asks, breaking the silence.

    I grin at him. ¡°No, you haven¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Well, you do, Ava. You look really stunning. I can¡¯t keep my eyes off you.¡±

    My friends were right about this dress, because I see the heat and hunger in his eyes. I also see

    I get what he said that day, bute on! Does he know how hard it is to sleep by his side every night

    and wake up to him kissing me, or every time he grabs my waist and pulls me flush against his body,

    yet every time things begin to get heated, he steps back?

    He¡¯s killing me slowly, and I don¡¯t even know whether he realizes it or not.

    ¡°Thank you,¡± I smile, taking a sip of my wine.

    My eyes scan the ce. Sure, it was a really lovely ce if you liked fancy ces, but it isn¡¯t for me. I

    just didn¡¯t know how to tell him that. 1

    ¡°Ava?¡± His voice pulls me back to the present, and I look at him.

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°You spaced out.¡±

    ¡°Sorry about that.¡±

    I try to remain focused, but I just can¡¯t. Gosh, I feel so fucking terrible. Here I am on a date with him. A

    date I¡¯ve been looking forward to, yet I can¡¯t help but wish that I was somewhere else. (3

    His softughter forces me to look at him. He was leaning against the chair with one hand on the table.

    He looked smug and had a smirk stered on his face. Tilting my head, I focus on him, wondering

    what he found amusing.

    ¡°What?¡± I ask in irritation. ¡°What¡¯s so funny?¡±

    Instead of answering, he stands up and gives me his hand. I look at him confused, wondering if he has

    lost his damn mind.

    ¡°Come on, Ava, we have somewhere to be,¡± he tells me almost impatiently.

    ¡°What about the dinner?¡± I asked.

    ¡°What about it? You really think I don¡¯t know that you hate these kinds of fancy ces? This was just a

    decoy; I wanted to see whether you would tell me or suffer through it¡± 2

    I stare at him, not really sure I heard him right. He already knew that I hated it here? I don¡¯t know

    whether I should be impressed or pissed off at him right now. I was leaning more on being pissed. He

    should have just said so from the beginning.

    ¡°Come on, our real date awaits,¡± he says, taking my hand and pulling me up. Before leaving, he grabs

    my purse and shoves it under his arm.

    ¡°What about the reservation?¡± I ask as we walk out.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about that¡­ Gabe and I own the ce, and the hostess knew that I wasn¡¯t

    He helps me get in before rounding the car and getting in himself. After we¡¯re both buckled in, he starts

    the car, and I turn to face him.

    ¡°What do you n for tonight, You¡¯ve got me really intrigued,¡± I tell him

    ¡°You really are impatient,¡± he mutters with a chuckle. ¡°Just rx, I¡¯ve got everything nned out, you¡¯ll

    love it.¡±

    I would be lying if I said I wasn¡¯t giddy, because I was. After the initial shock of how he yed me back

    at the restaurant, I was okay, to be honest. d that he knew that one detail about me. Though, I still

    don¡¯t know how he knew that since he has never taken me anywhere.

    We make small talk. My eyes widen when we stop at a drive¨Cthrough. 1

    ¡°Seriously?¡± I ask in excitement.

    ¡°Definitely,¡± he smiles, making my heart skip a bit. ¡°What would you like?¡±

    I give him my order, and he repeats it to the server. Once we get our order, we drive away. I was so

    excited. This was shaping out to be a good evening.

    ¡°You know I¡¯m surprised,¡± I begin. ¡°I never really saw you as the kind to have a burger and fries at a

    drive¨Cthrough. You always seemed like the wine and dine sort of person.¡±

    He gives me a sideways look. ¡°That goes to show that you don¡¯t really know me as much as you think.

    Give me greasy food any day, any time. In fact, it is pretty much all I ate the first couple of months after

    you and I separated and before I hired Teresa.¡±

    I can¡¯t helpughing. It¡¯s really funny to imagine Rowan eating burgers and fries every day. ¡°If it wasn¡¯t

    for the fact that I went to the gym every day, I would have a fucking pot belly.¡±

    The image of that just makes meugh even more. I can¡¯t imagine him without his well- defined abs.

    ¡°Thank God for gyms then, or I would miss all the sexiness I get to see every time you take your

    clothes off,¡± I tease.

    His voice is husky as heughs. Heavens, this is what I always wanted. To see Rowan happy around

    me. It was finallying true, and I¡¯m d that I was able to see this day. ¡°We are here,¡± he tells me

    after a couple more minutes of driving.

 Chapter 320

    I look outside and gasp. The ce was ethereal. It was an open space with lush grass and probably

    dozens of different flowers. That wasn¡¯t even what I loved most about it. It was the view. Thousands of

    stars were twinking, as if approving of this date.

    ¡°Do you like it?¡± Rowan asks, and my only answer is a nod.

    I slowly get out of the car, breathing in the fresh air and taking in the breathtaking, stunning view. I walk

    almost to the edge and look down at the city below. How Rowan found this ce, I don¡¯t know, and I

    don¡¯t care.

    I close my eyes, feeling all my worries wash away. This is exactly my kind of scene. I just love it.

    When I turn around, I find Rowan has already set up everything. There was a nket and a pic

    basket with what I assume were choctes, strawberries, and wine. Along with it is the food we order.

    I walk slowly towards him, take off my shoes, and sit down next to him.

    ¡°This is amazing, Rowan. Thank you¡±

    He nods his head. ¡°Anything to make you happy, darling. Now let¡¯s eat, because I¡¯m fucking starving.¡±

    We eat in silence, and I take the opportunity to just admire the scenery and my date. Of course, I knew

    that Rowan was romantic; I saw it thousands of times when he was with Emma. I just never thought he

    would ever show it to me.

    ¡°I never thought I would ever be out on a date with you. I feel special today,¡± I tell him after we are done

    eating.

    ¡°Well you are and you deserve to be made to feel special every fucking day of your life¡­ I can¡¯t believe

    how fucking blind I have been all these years, not just to your beauty but also to who you are as a

    person. You¡¯re my superwoman; I¡¯m so fucking sorry it took me this long to realize it,¡± he says, taking

    my hand and holding it in his warm one.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay. It¡¯s in the past.¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s not, Ava. I¡¯m so fucking sorry I hurt you all of these years and took your love for granted. I¡¯m

    not even sure I deserve your forgiveness or another chance with you. Hell, I don¡¯t even know if I¡¯ll ever

    make up for all the shit I put you through, but I promise I¡¯ll keep trying, even if it takes all my life to

    prove to you that I¡¯m a worthy man. I¡¯ll keep trying till I earn your love and forgiveness.¡±

    My eyes tear up, and I try my best to blink them away. The honesty in his eyes is my undoing. to the

    core.

    Instead of answering, I ?mesh my mouth with his. Letting him feel everything that I was unable to tell him

    with words. Letting him know that I¡¯m willing to give him that chance. When we pull away from each

    other, we are both breathing hard.

    ¡°So tell me? How did you know that I have a simple taste and that I would love this ce? Or was it a

    lucky guess?¡± I ask once our breathing is back to normal.

    He takes a deep breath. He looks like he¡¯s trying to put his thoughts back in order after our heated kiss.

    ¡°I know you think I didn¡¯t pay attention through the years, but I did. I know you, Ava. I just pretended

    that I didn¡¯t¡±

    ¡°Really? Prove it¡± I challenge knowing very well that Rowan never paid attention to me.

    ¡°Fine.¡± He release a breath of air. ¡°You take your coffee with milk and two sugars no more no less. For

    some odd reason, you like adding cinnamon to it. You love ice cream. You could eat any vor, but you

    always go back to in vani because it¡¯s your favorite. You love that it tastes like milk since you

    loved milk so much when you were a kid¡±

 Chapter 321

    I stare at him, dunfounded, unable to say or do anything.

    ¡°You love smelling good, and you lean more on scents with berries in them. As long as a perfume or

    body wash has some kind of berry, you¡¯ll buy it. You don¡¯t really have a favorite food because you¡¯ll eat

    anything as long as it¡¯s delicious. You love taking really long and hot showers because it rxes you.

    You hate heights, you hate beingte, and you also hate flying. You hate cockroaches; you always say

    you¡¯d rather your house be infested with spiders than those disgusting brown things¡­ Shall I

    continue?¡±

    He doesn¡¯t give me a chance to answer.

    ¡°You prefer styling your hair in ponytails and buns. You don¡¯t like makeup that much and only put it on

    when you have to or are in the mood for it. You hate sleeping on your back because it reminds you of a

    dead person in a casket. You hate being disorganized and also the color yellow

    I raise my hand to stop him because I ampletely speechless. Everything he said was the damn

    truth. I can¡¯tprehend how he knew all of this since we¡¯ve never been close. The Sharp¡¯s wouldn¡¯t

    have told him because they barely even knew me.

    ¡°How?¡± I stammer, unable to wrap my head around everything.

    ¡°I told you,¡±

    ¡°Wow¡± says with a smile. ¡°I paid attention even when you thought I didn¡¯t.¡±

    Despite the warm air, I shiver. He takes out his jacket and ces it around my shoulders.

    ¡°I also know that you love nature. ording to you, it rejuvenates you. That¡¯s why I brought you here,¡±

    he says gently, and I can¡¯t stop a smile from forming on my lips.

    ¡°Well, it looks like I dressed up for nothing. If I¡¯d thought you were bringing me here, I would have worn

    something casual.¡±

    ¡°Nah, it¡¯s okay. I¡¯m so fucking d you dressed up; that way my eyes can feast on you,¡± he winks at

    me, and my heart flutters.

    We remain in silence just basking in each other¡¯s presence that is until his voice cuts through the

    silence.

    ¡°Is there something you would like to know about me or do you know everything there is?¡± he pulls me

    close to him, tucking me safely under his arm.

    I lean my head against his chest, feeling the beating of his heart. ¡°There is one thing I¡¯d love to know¡±

    He mock gasps and stares at. ¡°So there is actually something you don¡¯t know about me, I¡¯m shocked¡±

    ¡°Stop it.¡± I pinch his rock¨Chard abs, but it does nothing. He simply chuckles.

    ¡°Go ahead¡±

    ¡°Is it true that you slept with a teacher back when you were in high school?¡± I¡¯ve always wanted to

    know.

    Everyone knew of the twin brothers and their good looks. I was three years younger than them, and yet

    even in junior high, they still had girls fawning over them. Gabe was a yboy, pure and simple. Rowan

    was too, but that was before he and Emma started dating.

    The twins had gone through most of the female poption in school. It was even rumored that Rowan

    had banged a teacher. He¡¯d been in detention and the principal had caught them with the teacher bent

    over a desk and Rowan ramming into her like a bull.

    I found it funny when I heard some girls talking about it in the cafeteria. They said that he didn¡¯t even

    look apologetic or scared of the principal. In fact he had asked him if he would like to join them. After

    that, Rowan had been a legend among the boys at school. Then he had shocked everyone when he

    decided to leave the y boy persona and start dating. The lucky girl had been Emma.

    He simplyughs, his voice, deep, husky and rich. It was the manly kind ofugh that I could listen to

    all day long.

    ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s true,¡± he finally answers.

    I¡¯m shocked. I always just thought it was a stupid rumor.

    ¡°How the hell did that happen, and how old were you? Not that I¡¯m judging or anything like that.¡±

    ¡°I was seventeen and she was twenty¨Csix, I think¡­ I was a hormonal boy, and Mandy was fucking hot.

    I¡¯d always wanted to fuck someone older than me and she made it fucking easy to draw her in when

    she would literally push her boobs towards my face or widening her legs while in a tiny skirt every time

    she called me to her desk.¡± 1

    I¡¯m impressed, but at the same time disgusted at Mandy. I mean, she was a teacher for heaven¡¯s sake,

    yet she tried seducing one of her students. I¡¯m a teacher, and I would never cross that line. 1

    ¡°You¡¯re the one that asked,¡± Rowan says, noticing my scrunched¨Cup face.

    ¡°I know, but I find it disturbing that a teacher would intentionally seduce her seventeen¨Cyear- old pupil.¡±

    He just shrugs, like it¡¯s not a big deal. After that, the conversation is moreid¨Cback. I totally enjoyed

    myself. It was a dream, and I didn¡¯t want the date to end. We talked for hours about everything under

    the moon.

    It was like we were really good friends. The conversation flowed easily; we talked,ughed, and yed

    silly high school games. Everything was perfect, and I felt like I was where and with whom I was meant

    to be.

    When we packed our things and left, it was alreadyte at night. I smiled all the way home, feeling like I

    finally had the chance to have the life I¡¯ve always dreamed of.

    ¡°Thank you for tonight; I really had fun,¡± I tell Rowan as we step out of the car.

    He takes my hand and walks me to the door. ¡°Me too; I can¡¯t believe I never took you out on a date. I

    n to do it more often now.

    We enter the house. The lights were still on, but Teresa was nowhere to be seen. She was probably in

    either Iris¡¯s room or the guest room across from it.

    I stop and just look at the ce. I always thought that Rowan built it and designed it with Emma in

    mind. I didn¡¯t mind how the house looked; I just hated the interior because it was something Emma

    liked, not me.

    ¡°What is it?¡± he asks when he notices that I¡¯ve stopped.

    ¡°Nothing¡±

    ¡°Ava, please, if something is bothering you, tell me,¡± he all but pleads.

    Sighing tiredly, I face him. ¡°I just never loved the interior of the house. This was supposed to be our

    home, yet I always felt like I didn¡¯t belong because everything, down to the color scheme, was Emma¡¯s

    favorite. I always felt like I was leaving in her shadow. Like I was living in a house meant to be hers¡±

    He crosses a few steps andes to where I was standing. I watch him as he cups my cheeks.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry you felt that way.¡± He breathes, his forehead touching mine. ¡°Tomorrow I¡¯ll call an interior

    designer to change everything, or if you want, you can do it yourself. We can move to my condo while

    they repaint the house, and then after we¡¯ll get rid of everything else that you don¡¯t want and buy new

    ones that fit your taste.¡±

    I stare at him, stunned. ¡°Really? You¡¯re okay with that?¡±

    ¡°Abso¨Cfucking¨Clutely. I¡¯ll do anything to make you happy including tearing the whole god- damn house

    down if that¡¯s what you want¡±

    Damn, how the hell am I supposed to react to that?

 Chapter 322

    ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s true,¡± he finally answers.

    I¡¯m shocked. I always just thought it was a stupid rumor.

    ¡°How the hell did that happen, and how old were you? Not that I¡¯m judging or anything like that.¡±

    ¡°I was seventeen and she was twenty¨Csix, I think¡­ I was a hormonal boy, and Mandy was fucking hot.

    I¡¯d always wanted to fuck someone older than me and she made it fucking easy to draw her in when

    she would literally push her boobs towards my face or widening her legs while in a tiny skirt every time

    she called me to her desk.¡± 1

    I¡¯m impressed, but at the same time disgusted at Mandy. I mean, she was a teacher for heaven¡¯s sake,

    yet she tried seducing one of her students. I¡¯m a teacher, and I would never cross that line. 1

    ¡°You¡¯re the one that asked,¡± Rowan says, noticing my scrunched¨Cup face.

    ¡°I know, but I find it disturbing that a teacher would intentionally seduce her seventeen¨Cyear- old pupil.¡±

    He just shrugs, like it¡¯s not a big deal. After that, the conversation is moreid¨Cback. I totally enjoyed

    myself. It was a dream, and I didn¡¯t want the date to end. We talked for hours about everything under

    the moon.

    It was like we were really good friends. The conversation flowed easily; we talked,ughed, and yed

    silly high school games. Everything was perfect, and I felt like I was where and with whom I was meant

    to be.

    When we packed our things and left, it was alreadyte at night. I smiled all the way home, feeling like I

    finally had the chance to have the life I¡¯ve always dreamed of.

    ¡°Thank you for tonight; I really had fun,¡± I tell Rowan as we step out of the car.

    He takes my hand and walks me to the door. ¡°Me too; I can¡¯t believe I never took you out on a date. I

    n to do it more often now.

    We enter the house. The lights were still on, but Teresa was nowhere to be seen. She was probably in

    either Iris¡¯s room or the guest room across from it.

    I stop and just look at the ce. I always thought that Rowan built it and designed it with Emma in

    mind. I didn¡¯t mind how the house looked; I just hated the interior because it was something Emma

    liked, not me.

    ¡°What is it?¡± he asks when he notices that I¡¯ve stopped.

    ¡°Nothing¡±

    ¡°Ava, please, if something is bothering you, tell me,¡± he all but pleads.

    Sighing tiredly, I face him. ¡°I just never loved the interior of the house. This was supposed to be our

    home, yet I always felt like I didn¡¯t belong because everything, down to the color scheme, was Emma¡¯s

    favorite. I always felt like I was leaving in her shadow. Like I was living in a house meant to be hers¡±

    He crosses a few steps andes to where I was standing. I watch him as he cups my cheeks.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry you felt that way.¡± He breathes, his forehead touching mine. ¡°Tomorrow I¡¯ll call an interior

    designer to change everything, or if you want, you can do it yourself. We can move to my condo while

    they repaint the house, and then after we¡¯ll get rid of everything else that you don¡¯t want and buy new

    ones that fit your taste.¡±

    I stare at him, stunned. ¡°Really? You¡¯re okay with that?¡±

    ¡°Abso¨Cfucking¨Clutely. I¡¯ll do anything to make you happy including tearing the whole god- damn house

    down if that¡¯s what you want¡±

    Damn, how the hell am I supposed to react to that?

 Chapter 323

    ¡°It¡¯s settled then; we are going to change things around here,¡± Rowan says as I just stare at him.

    I was shocked, but happy at the same time. I¡¯ve wanted for a long time to change most things, but I just

    knew that he wouldn¡¯t agree.

    I don¡¯t know; for some reason, I feel that this is just another proof that he¡¯d finally let go of

    Emma. That he actually did care for me.

    ¡°Okay,¡± I smile at him as I let that truth sink in.

    ¡°We can do a consultation with an interior designer tomorrow. I¡¯m sure Bianca Meyers will be able to

    take us, despite her busy schedule. You can tell her what you¡¯d like and leave it to her or you can be

    involved. the choice is up to you.¡±

    And the surprises keeping. Everyone knows who Bianca Meyers is. She¡¯s the best interior

    designer in the country, and she only works for the rich and influential. I can¡¯t believe I get to work with

    her.

    ¡°Alright,¡± I tell him, trying to keep my excitement to a minimum. ¡°But I want both you and Noah to chip in

    too. After all, this is your home too and I want you to befortable here.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d be okay with anything you choose, but okay, I¡¯ll give my opinion on anything you need me to.¡±

    I nod, feeling happiness radiate from inside me. Not only did we have a great first date, but I was finally

    going to get the home I¡¯ve always wanted. There¡¯s no more living under Emma¡¯s shadow. I could finally

    turn this house into my home, not just a house I had to live in.

    Without really thinking about it, I wrap my hand around the back of his head and bring him closer for a

    kiss. His hands immediately wrap around my waist as he pulls me flush against him.

    I feel every hard ridge of his body, along with his hardening dick that presses against my stomach.

    He deepens the kiss, making me moan. It¡¯s not a secret that I wanted. That I needed him.

    Our tongues tangle as he dominates, taking control and leaving me breathless. My nipples harden as a

    gush of wetness makes my panties stick to pussy.

    I pull my hand from his hair and run it down his chest before stopping at his belt. I linger there for a

    while before going further down and stopping at the bulge in his trousers. I gently grab his hard¨Con,

    which emits a groan from him that travels all the way to my core.

    His hold tightens, and I am sure he is about to haul me up against him when we are

    ¡°Sorry to interrupt; I heard voices, so I came downstairs,¡± Teresa said, avoiding eye contact.

    I groan in irritation because she has ruined the moment. Rowan was breathing hard, but I see the

    moment he regains hisposure and self¨Ccontrol.

    I sigh in defeat, knowing that if Teresa hadn¡¯t interrupted, Rowan and I would probably be in bed,

    getting naked. Tonight was perfect, but it would have been even more perfect had I gotten the sex that

    I¡¯ve been craving so much.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay, Teresa,¡± Rowan tells her while I just stand there quietly.

    ¡°If it¡¯s alright with you, I would like to take my leave. The children are both asleep and I fed Iris about

    fifteen minutes ago.¡±

    ¡°You can go ahead, and thank you¡±

    She bids us a goodnight before leaving for her quarters. Once she¡¯s gone, I turn to look at Rowan, and

    I just know that we won¡¯t be continuing where we left off. To say that I¡¯m not disappointed would be

    lying, especially seeing that he was still semi¨Chard.

    ¡°I¡¯ll go and check up on the kids; I¡¯ll be right back,¡± I inform him. Maybe this will give me a chance to

    cool down.

    ¡°I need a fucking shower¡± is the only thing he says before stomping away.

    Well, he wouldn¡¯t have needed one if he¡¯d agreed to give both of us what we desperately wanted, but

    he was being stubborn. Sure, I get what he meant when he said that he won¡¯t touch me until he¡¯s sure

    I¡¯m in love with him again, but doesn¡¯t he realize that I never fell out of love with him in the first ce?

    Once he disappears, I start my ascent up the stairs. I first go into Noah¡¯s room. Just like always, he¡¯s

    kicked the covers off, and they are on the floor. I pick them up and tuck him in, making sure that he

    doesn¡¯t manage to kick them off again.

    When I¡¯m done, I kiss his forehead and leave, heading to Iris¡¯s room. I do the same for her, then pick

    up the baby monitor and leave her room quietly.

    I take a deep breath before entering our bedroom. I shouldn¡¯t have been nervous to face Rowan

    because he wasn¡¯t even there.

    I sit on the bed and just survey the room, trying to find a way of approaching the subject of sex.

    Running my hand through my hair, I suppress my sexual frustration as I try to think clearly.

    A groan from the bathroom makes my head snap in that direction. I bolt up and head for the door,

    afraid that something might have happened to Rowan.

    ¡°Rowan?¡± I call, slightly opening the door.

    I don¡¯t get a response, so I widen the door. That¡¯s when I saw him through the shower ss. It was

    misty, but I could still see clearly.

    My eyes drop lower just as he releases another groan.

    I¡¯m unable to pull my eyes away from the scene in front of me. One hand was on the wall supporting

    him, while the other was holding his dick, pumping up and down. He was hard. Painfully hard, if I were

    to go by the bulging veins clearly seen in his shaft.

    His legs were wide apart, and he had his eyes closed. The heat that I¡¯d somewhat managed to control

    roars back to life like a raging inferno. I cross my feet, clenching my thighs, trying to control the need

    that was burning inside me.

    I wanted my hands to rece his, and to take it a little further, I wanted my mouth on him, sucking as

    he filled my whole mouth. The image of that almost undoes me right there and then.

    My eyes remain on him, watching as his jaw clenches. His hand begins pumping faster, right before his

    cum spurts out. With a tight fist, he continues milking his shaft, and I imagine his cum all over my

    breast.

    I was just about to step inside when his groan caught my attention. It¡¯s a groan of pleasure that is

    followed by my name.

    I stop dead in my tracks as a memory filters through. The pain is blinding, but what has me on my

    knees and crying are the wordsing out of Rowan¡¯s mouth.

    You tried being a descent fuck, but you weren¡¯t even good at it. Every time I was inside you, it¡¯s Emma I

    wanted; it¡¯s Emma I imagined beneath me. Every time I cummed, it¡¯s her face I saw. You were nothing

    special, just easy, and so I used you. I used you like the fucking slut you are.

    Those words, just like they did then, they destroy me.

 Chapter 324

    <strong>Chapter 0324</strong>

    <strong>Rowan.</strong>

    The date was nothing but perfect. If I had my way, it wouldn¡¯t have ended. Every moment I spent with her was heaven, and I wish I¡¯d done this sooner.

    I honestly don¡¯t know why I never gave myself a chance to be happy with Ava. It bugs me that we could have been happy all these years if only I¡¯d let go of Emma.

    The love I had for Emma was young love; it wouldn¡¯t havested. The moment it was tested, it crumbled. What I feel for Ava is more mature, stronger, and deeper than what I thought love was at seventeen years of age.

    I¡¯m starting to believe that Gabe was right. Love doesn¡¯t develop out of the blues. Just like he said, I think deep down I loved Ava; I just let the guilt of hurting Emma consume me. I held on to Emma because I felt I needed control, and marrying Ava and being with her felt like something out of my control.

    I also believed that allowing my feelings for Ava to grow would be akin to betraying the love I had for Emma. What I didn¡¯t realize then was that that love had died long ago.

    Sighing, I take off my clothes before heading to the shower.

    I don¡¯t know how long I can fucking keep this up. Ava was slowly killing me. Slowly crumbling my resolve. I didn¡¯t want to touch her until she knew everything, and until I knew her love for me was set on stone.

    Each day, though, it¡¯s getting harder and harder to remain true to my resolve. Every time we kissed, every time she touched me, every fucking time I woke up with her ass cradling my dick, was pure temptation.

    It¡¯s not once or twice; I almost just said fuck it and took her the way I wanted. What stops me is the knowledge that if I do that before she knows everything and before her love for me is rekindled, then she¡¯ll end up hating me. I couldn¡¯t risk that. I wouldn¡¯t be able to take it.

    Pushing thoughts of the uncertain future aside, I focus on the present matter. My dick was painfully hard. I¡¯ve had more hand action these past few months than I¡¯ve had in my teenage years.

    Taking my swollen shaft in my hand, I close my eyes and imagine Ava in the sexy dress she¡¯d worn tonight. I imagine myself tearing it from her as her delicious bodyes into view.

    She didn¡¯t have a bra, and as my mouth sucked and licked her nipples, my hands went to her panties. I dip my hand inside to find her wet and ready for me.

    "Fuck,¡± I groan as I enter one finger and then another.

    She moans as I finger-fuck her, begging me not to stop. Her juices drip down my fingers, coating my hand in the process. I rub her clit, and watch as her head falls backward. Her face transforms into a look of pure pleasure, and a small smile ys on her lips.

    I pump harder, loving the way she moans my name. Each sound drives pleasure into me. She climaxes, her walls clenching my fingers in a tight fist. Watching her cum pushes me over the edge, making me climax alongside her.

    I pull my fingers out and lick her cum from them. She watches me with wide eyes, seductive yet innocent at the same time.

    I climb on top of her and kiss her until we¡¯re both fucking breathless. Pulling away, I look at her because I wanted to see her reaction when I entered her. I align my dick with her entrance, the anticipation making me feel like an eager teenager. I was just about to enter her when a small scream pulls me from my fantasy.

    I turn towards the door, and my heart stops. Not caring, I rush towards her. Ava was slumped against the door, looking like she was in a world of pain.

    ¡°Ava?¡± I call her, but I don¡¯t get an answer.

    Snatching a towel, I wrap it quickly around my waist before focusing on her. Her eyes were closed; she had tears running down her face, and what broke my heart was the look of pain that marred her beautiful face.

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong, darling?¡± I ask.

    I ce my hand on her shoulder to shake her when she reacts violently.

    ¡°Don¡¯t fucking touch me!¡± she screams, scrambling away from me.

    I stare at her in shock. What the hell happened? She was okay a moment ago, but now she didn¡¯t want me to fucking touch her.

    ¡°Ava¡­¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯te near you, jerk!¡± Her eyes are full of bitterness and hate, reminding me of how she was before she was shot.

 Chapter 325

    My heart stops as fear that she¡¯s remembered everything crashes into me.

    ¡°Tell me what¡¯s wrong, Ava; I can¡¯t help you if I don¡¯t know what¡¯s wrong,¡± I plead with her.

    More tears continue falling down her face. Pain and hurt shadow her eyes. It literally breaks my fucking

    heart to see her like this.

    ¡°I had a memory,¡± she begins before she startsughing like she¡¯s insane. ¡°You know, I wanted to fuck

    you; I wanted to sleep with you; I even talked myself into talking to you about it because I wanted you

    so much. When I saw you jerking off in the shower, I wanted to join you. I even imagined myself giving

    you a blow job while you cummed on my chest.¡±

    I frown, but stay quiet. Something told me that something had happened. That I wasn¡¯t going to like

    what she had to say next.

    ¡°Here, I was horny for you, craving you, when my mind had to remind me of something that you said,¡±

    she hups. ¡°You want to know what it was?¡±

    I didn¡¯t, because I knew it would destroy the small progress we had made, but I nodded none the less.

    ¡°You tried being a decent fuck, but you weren¡¯t even good at that. Every time I was inside you, it¡¯s

    Emma I wanted,¡± she tells me, her voice catching. ¡°Does it ring a bell?¡±

    My heartpletely shatters because I remember the words very clearly. The words that I flung at her

    because I wanted to hurt her for hurting Emma.

    ¡°The funny thing is, here I was horny for you when, in reality, you don¡¯t really want me. I¡¯m nothing but a

    slut to be used as a substitute. Why did you sleep with me if you didn¡¯t want me, Rowan? You could

    have gone and gotten yourself a mistress; it would have hurt, but I would have preferred that to being

    used to satiate your desire for Emma.¡±

    The pain in her voice is my undoing. I knew those words woulde back to bite me in the ass, but

    when I yelled them at her, I was so pissed that it didn¡¯t hit me that I¡¯d said them until it was toote and

    I couldn¡¯t take them back.

    ¡°It isn¡¯t like that?¡± I murmured, not able to look into her eyes. I was ashamed of saying those words. I

    still am.

    ¡°Then how was it? Weren¡¯t those your words? Weren¡¯t you the one who said them? Not once did I point

    a gun at your head and force you to sleep with me. Hell, when we got married, I didn¡¯t expect us to

    have a sexual rtionship, and I told you that. You¡¯re the one who always came to me. You¡¯re the one

    that sought me out. If you knew that you didn¡¯t want me, then why sleep with me? Why use me? Why

    degrade me like that? You should have just left me alone, Rowan.¡±

    She cries harder, her tears staining her cheeks. I go to touch her, to wipe her tears away, but she

    flinches away from me.

    ¡°Ava¡­¡± I want to say something and exin it to her, but I don¡¯t know how to do that.

    ¡°Please leave,¡± she whispers, standing up. ¡°I can¡¯t stand to look at you or be anywhere near you. If I¡¯d

    known what you thought of me, I would have asked for a divorce and left you. I don¡¯t deserve how you

    treated me or how you used me.¡±

    The words break my heart, knowing very well that she did ask for a divorce. She did leave me, and if I

    can¡¯t get her to forgive me, then I will lose her for good.

    ¡°Listen to me; please listen¡­¡®

    ¡°I told you to fucking leave! I don¡¯t want to fucking see your face,¡± she yells, anger clear in her voice

    Before I can react, she pushes me out of the bathroom and then shoves me out of the bedroom before

    locking the door. I stand in the hallway, staring at the door. After a while, I leave and walk to the guest

    bedroom.

    Sitting on the bed, I wonder why I didn¡¯t speak up¡­ But then, how could I exin it to her? Would she

    even have listened?

    I was back to square one, and I wondered if anything was ever going to change. Was it toote for us?

    Was the damage already too great to be fixed?

    For the first time in my life, I cried. I cried because, after what just happened, I couldn¡¯t see a silver

    lining. I couldn¡¯t see Ava ever forgiving me.

 Chapter 326

    ¡°What¡¯s got you drinking in the club alone instead of being at home with Ava?¡± Gabe asks as he takes

    a seat next to me.

    I was in a terrible mood, and thest thing I wanted was any form ofpany. That includes my

    brother¡¯s. Ignoring him, I take another gulp of my whisky.

    I was in the VIP section of one of our many clubs. The music was booming, people were dancing and

    having fun, and alcohol was flowing, but none of that did anything for me.

    Tonight, I just wanted to forget. To forget the image of Ava¡¯s heartbreak. I know it¡¯s wishful thinking

    given that both of those images are burned in my mind, but I can fucking try.

    Things at home have been tense. The atmosphere that was weing isn¡¯t there any more. I want

    things to go back to how they fucking were, but I don¡¯t know how to do that. I don¡¯t fucking know how to

    fix things.

    I can¡¯t take back those words. I can¡¯t fucking reverse them. I can¡¯t unwind time and fix my mistakes. If I

    could, I¡¯d already have done it because I love her so fucking much, and it kills me to know that I all but

    destroyed her.

    It shatters me to know that I am the one who destroyed everything we could have had.

    ¡°Rowan?¡± His handnds on my shoulder, but I shrug it off.

    ¡°What!¡± I was sad, heartbroken, and pissed. None of those emotions were ever good together.

    ¡°Well, you¡¯re in a foul mood,¡± Gabe states, giving me a side¨Ceye look.

    ¡°That should¡¯ve been fucking obvious when you found me drinking alone.¡±

    I don¡¯t say anything else, and neither does he. While I lounge and cradle my drink, he pours himself a

    healthy amount. We sit in silence, both of us lost in our own minds.

    ¡°Where is Travis? I haven¡¯t seen him in a while,¡± I ask after some time.

    Things between us have been tense since I threw Emma in prison. We haven¡¯t spoken since the day

    he came, begging me to release his sister. We¡¯ve been friends since we were both in diapers, but I

    don¡¯t see us ever being close again.

    ¡°He¡¯s been really busy with Emma. She fell into a state of depression, so he¡¯s trying to deal with that,¡±

    he replies with a shrug.

    ¡°Depression? Is it because I sent her to prison or something else?¡±

    ¡°I think that¡¯s part of it. He told me that she¡¯s been struggling sinceing out of prison and epting

    that you two will never get back together. He thinks, though, that what pushed her over the edge was

    when Calvin refused to forgive her and ept her back into his and

    Well, that was news to me. I guess both of us were finally getting our karma, because how else would

    you call it? Every word I said and every action I took was slowinging back to bite me in the ass.

    If only Emma and I had realized this earlier. If only we¡¯d known what we know now back then, We held

    on to each other, not realizing that maybe, just maybe, Ava and Calvin were the people we were

    fucking meant to be with.

    ¡°So now tell me, what¡¯s wrong?¡± Gabe asks again after a few minutes of silence.

    I feel the buzz of the alcohol. When I lost Emma, I started to drink. To put it inly, I became a fucking

    drunkard. After Noah was born, I swore never to get drunk again. Here I was, though, trying to reach

    oblivion. Trying to take the edge of things.

    I stare at the amber liquid debating before finally throwing back the contents and pouring myself

    another.

    ¡°Ava,¡± I say her name.

    Gabe frowns. ¡°I thought you said she¡¯d given you a chance without pushing for the truth. What the hell

    did you do now?¡±

    I re right back at him. ¡°Why do you have to assume it¡¯s me?¡±

    I fucking know that I¡¯m the one in the wrong, but damn it, why did he just immediately assume that I

    was the problem?

    Rolling his eyes like a fucking child, he answers, ¡°Because when ites to Ava, you always manage

    to screw things up.¡±

    I was about to argue with him, but I mped my mouth and shut the fuck up. He was right, wasn¡¯t he? I

    couldn¡¯t argue with him because he wasn¡¯t wrong. Up until a few months ago, I¡¯d been fucking up with

    Ava for years.

    ¡°Now that you know I¡¯m fucking right, why don¡¯t you tell me what happened? Did you mess up on the

    date or something?¡±

    ¡°The date was great and she loved it¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m guessing you messed up after the date then?¡± he asks, his eyes into mine.

    ¡°It¡¯s more of something I said before her ident. Somehow jerking off in the shower triggered her

    memory, and now she doesn¡¯t even want to look at me.¡±

    I proceed to tell him everything that went down. Everything fucking thing that happened and how Emma

    lied and manipted me into thinking that Ava was the viin. I tell him, word for word, what I¡¯d angrily

    shouted at Ava and how it came back to bite me a week ago.

    ¡°You¡¯re a fucking idiot,¡± Gabe tells me once I¡¯m done talking.

    I re at him, but I ept the truth. ¡°I fucking know that.¡±

    We are quiet again, but it doesn¡¯tst long.

    ¡°Have you talked to her or apologized?¡±

    Releasing a breath, I shake my head. ¡°She won¡¯t talk to me. She won¡¯t even allow me to be anywhere

    near her. She avoids me like I¡¯m a fucking gue.¡±

    Thinking about it just hurts my heart even more. I was a fucking idiot. How the hell did I not see what

    was standing in front of me all of these years? Why the hell did I continue hurting her? We were

    married for nine years, yet never did I ever think of separation or divorce, not even when I imagined

    Noah graduating and leaving him. That should have been the first clue that I felt something for Ava,

    because how did I never think of divorce?

    ¡°Did you mean any of the words you threw at her?¡±

    ¡°No.¡± My answer is automatic. ¡°I was mad at her, and I wanted to hurt her for hurting Emma, but deep

    down, I didn¡¯t mean a damn word, I said. I neverpared her to Emma, and not once did I imagine

    Emma when I was with her. I only said it because I knew it would hurt her.¡±

    ¡°So what gave you the dumb idea to lie to her?¡± he asks while sipping his drink.

    I shrug. ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ idiocy? It¡¯s not an excuse, but you know I say stupid things when I¡¯m angry.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t give you any solution because those words are probably imprinted on her brain. What you can

    do, though, is talk to her, make her listen, and tell her the truth before this tears what you are trying to

    do.¡±

    I get what he is saying, but getting it done is difficult, especially when she isn¡¯t talking to me.

    Instead of saying anything, I continue drinking. I keep chasing that euphoria all the while, hoping that I

    can still salvage what I ruined.

 Chapter 327

    Ava.

    ¡°Is it okay if Ie to visit tomorrow? There is something I wanted to talk to you about.¡±

    I was on a phone call with Nora, or should I say my biological mother. I¡¯ve been thinking hard these

    past few days, and I decided that I was finally going to give them a chance.

    Both Nora and Theo seem like good people, and I¡¯ve always craved that parental love. Maybe this was

    my chance of getting it. I wanted to get to know them, and I wanted a rtionship with them.

    It¡¯s not their fault that Kate and James were horrible parents to me, and I couldn¡¯t judge them based on

    my bad experience with my adopted parents.

    ¡°That would be wonderful, Ava. We¡¯ve missed you and our grandchildren so much. I wanted to call or

    visit, but I didn¡¯t want to push you if you weren¡¯t ready,¡± she gushed in a sing song voice.

    It made me smile, to be honest, and I haven¡¯t smiled since that night.

    ¡°What time is okay with you?¡±

    ¡°Ava, you¡¯re our daughter; whatever time you want toe, day or night, is simply fine with us¡± she

    answers.

    After talking with her for a while, we finally hung up. Releasing a tired sigh, I ce my phone down and

    just stare at the nk television.

    My mind wanders back to that night. How did things just shift from great to downright ugly? Everything

    had been perfect until my brain chose to remember. I¡¯vee to realize that truly, ignorance is bliss.

    Part of me wishes that I hadn¡¯t remembered.

    It still cuts me deep when I remember the words he flung at me. I never thought that¡¯s what he thought

    of me or our intimate moments. I¡¯ve always wanted more passion and heat between us, and I knew that

    he was holding back, but I still loved the rare asions we slept together. I treasured them and it hurt

    knowing that to him it wasn¡¯t anything special, just a way to release pent¨Cup sexual energy and to think

    of Emma.

    I should have expected it, though. He didn¡¯t love me and he didn¡¯t value me. I was na?ve, what the hell

    did I expect? That he actually enjoyed fucking me? I was nothing but a hole that satisfied his deepest

    fantasies about Emma.

    I release a tired breath and push those thoughts away. I was tired of constant thinking about those

    words. The kids were asleep, and it was time I went to bed to.

    I stand up and head to the door. I was about to lock it and turn of the lights when I heard a car, seconds

    later a knock.

    Opening the door, I¡¯m surprised to find Gabe and Rowan. Rowan was drunk and the only thing

    preventing him from face nting on the floor was Gabe¡¯s hands.

    ¡°Hey, Ava. Sorry to bother you thiste, but I had to bring him home¡± Gabe greets respectfully,

    something that shocks me a bit.

    I shake my head to clear the fog before nodding, ¡°It¡¯s okay,e in¡±

    I step aside and let them into the house. Since that night, Rowan has rarely slept here. He chose to

    stay at his penthouse to give me space. He¡¯s tried everything, calling, texting, talking directly to me, but

    I refused to hear him out because the wound has still been fresh.

    His calls remained answered, I deleted his texts without reading them and when we were in close

    proximity, I ignored him like he didn¡¯t exist. For a moment, I also almost blocked his number.

    ¡°Is it okay if I take him to the bedroom?¡± Gabe asks.

    I know what bedroom he was talking about and I numbly agree. I¡¯m still speechless seeing Rowan

    drunk and passed out. Thest time he got drunk was a day before Noah was born, I don¡¯t understand

    why he¡¯s back at it again.

    Minutester, Gabees down and he¡¯s about to leave when I stop him.

    ¡°Did you drink?¡± I ask, studying him.

    ¡°Yes, though not as much as Rowan¡± he answered politely.

    It felt so weird talking to him like this. Before, we would just ignore each other, but right now it felt like I

    could actually talk to him which in itself was weird.

    ¡°Is your driver with you?¡±

    ¡°No. I had someone drop me off at the club when I heard that Rowan was drinking alone. I drove his

    car back here¡±

    ¡°You can spend the night here. There is no need for you to drive back home while intoxicated, in fact

    you shouldn¡¯t have driven here. You should have called a cab.¡± I stated before I lock the door, turn on

    the security system and switch off the lights outside.

    ¡°Ava, it¡¯s okay. I can take a taxi¡± he looks at me weirdly, but I don¡¯t have time to decipher the meaning

    of his look.

    ¡°There¡¯s no need for that. Spend the night, have breakfast with us tomorrow then you can leave. It¡¯s

    really no problem¡±

    He stares at me, his eyes burning, much like his brother¡¯s. I shift from one foot to another, feeling

    awkward.

    ¡°Okay then¡± he finally agrees. ¡°Thank you¡±

    ¡°Sure, goodnight¡±

    I hear him mumble a goodnight as I walk past him. I climb up the stairs wondering why I insisted on

    Gabe staying. He was right, he could have taken a taxi and he¡¯s a man who knows how to take care of

    himself.

    The simple answer is, I was tired of holding on to past grudges. I don¡¯t want to be bitter and angry all

    my life. What they did to me wasn¡¯t my fault and it will always be on them, but choosing to be resentful

    and bitter? That will be on me.

    I don¡¯t know how I was in the four years that I don¡¯t remember, but what I want now is to live happily. All

    I want now, is to heal and be the best version of myself. That will never happen if I decide to hold on to

    past grudges.

    I get to the bedroom and push the door open. Rowan was still in his suit, lying on top of the covers. I

    would have left him like that, but he would be morefortable in his pajamas.

    I get to work, carefully taking off his clothes without waking him up. Once that¡¯s done, I get him under

    the covers. It¡¯s feat given he¡¯s double my size, but I finally get him under.

    After covering him and making sure that hisfortable, I turn. I was just about to leave when he grabs

    my hand and stops me.

    I turn and look at him, seeing his sadness ring at me. I want to push his hands away but I can¡¯t. He

    has a hold on me, not just on my hand, but also my heart.

    ¡°Please don¡¯t leave me, Ava¡± he pleads, his voice broken. ¡°I can¡¯t lose you. I just can¡¯t¡±

 Chapter 328

    I wake up with Rowan spooning. Yesterday, for some reason, I couldn¡¯t leave after he¡¯d asked me to

    stay. I¡¯d wanted to. I¡¯d fought against it, but in the end, I¡¯d lost. By the time I¡¯d made. the decision to

    share the bedroom with him, he¡¯d already fallen back to sleep.

    His arms were tightly wrapped around my waist, almost as if he were afraid that I¡¯d leave him. even in

    his sleep. In this position, I felt loved and cared for. I felt safe, and all my past hurts. just melted away. I

    feel his hot breath on the back of my neck, which just sends goose bumps all over my skin.

    Being careful not to wake him, I slowly get out of bed. I needed to make sure that Noah was up so he

    wouldn¡¯t bete for school.

    I tip toe across the room and then silently leave our bedroom. After checking up on Iris, I head towards

    Noah¡¯s room.

    ¡°Noah,¡± I call, but there wasn¡¯t a need for that because he was already up.

    He looks at me but doesn¡¯t greet me. He just goes back to buttoning his school shirt.

    ¡°Are you still mad at me?¡± I ask as I cross his room and sit on his bed.

    He stares at me, or, let me say, more like res at me, but he doesn¡¯t speak. I sigh, so sure that he

    was going to ignore me in the same way I¡¯ve been ignoring his dad. I was about to stand up and leave

    when his hurt voice stopped me.

    ¡°I just don¡¯t get it,¡± he all but whispers. ¡°You know how much I dislike Sierra, yet you insisted I invite her

    or I wouldn¡¯t have my party. Why? Why are you taking her side?¡±

    The pain in his voice breaks my heart. I would never do anything to hurt my son, but I also knew that I

    couldn¡¯t just let him not invite the girl.

    ¡°Come here, baby.¡± At first, I thought he¡¯d ignore me, but he doesn¡¯t. Hees and sits down next to

    me, albeit hesitantly.

    ¡°I¡¯m not taking her side, Noah,¡± I answer his question.

    ¡°Then why did you insist I invite her?¡±

    This isn¡¯t something I ever thought I¡¯d ever share with my son, but I didn¡¯t have a choice. If I wanted

    him to understand, then I had to tell him the bitter truth of my younger days.

    Taking a deep breath, I begin. ¡°When I was young, around your age, I didn¡¯t have a lot of friends. Most

    of the kids my age thought I was weird and not cool. I wasn¡¯t bullied, but I wasn¡¯t epted either.

    Because most of them thought that I was weird and annoying, they rarely invited me to function. I was

    never invited to birthday parties or sleepover, those kind of things. It hurt every time others in our ss

    got invites, but I didn¡¯t. I used to cry every

    Those memories still hurt today. It was even more painful since I was a piranha, not only at school but

    also at home with my own family. As a kid, you don¡¯t understand any of it, so I kept trying, and I kept

    getting rejected every time.

    ¡°Who are those kids? I¡¯m going to find them and hurt them for hurting you. No one hurts my mom!¡±

    Noah¡¯s outburst pulls me back from the painful memories.

    He is angry, and I smile because he¡¯s angry on my behalf.

    I grab his hand and pull him to me. ¡°It was a long time, Noah¡­ The reason I insisted you invite Sierra is

    because I¡¯ve been there and I know how it hurts to see other people invited to parties while you¡¯re

    being excluded. I wouldn¡¯t want what happened to me to happen to any child.¡±

    He¡¯s quiet for a while, and I hope that I¡¯ve gotten through to him. That I¡¯ve driven my point across. I love

    him so much, and I¡¯m tired of the distance between us.

 Chapter 329

    ¡°I still don¡¯t like her, and I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll ever like her, but I understand Mom,¡± he finally says after a

    while. ¡°I¡¯ll invite her then, but don¡¯t expect me to ever be her friend.¡±

    I nod, my smile growing bigger. ¡°Thank you, my love.¡±

    He hugs me, and my heart settles down. I haven¡¯t hugged my baby boy in more than a week and a

    half. It felt good to have him in my arms again.

    ¡°I love you, mommy,¡± he murmurs against my chest.

    My heart soars. There is just something about your baby calling you mommy even though he¡¯s no

    longer a little baby. I can¡¯t describe it, but it¡¯s one of the best feelings.

    ¡°I love you too, my sweets¡± I whisper back, ¡°Now hurry up or you¡¯ll bete for school.¡±

    We pull away from each other. After kissing his forehead, I leave his room and head downstairs. I greet

    Teresa, who was busy making breakfast, before taking a ss of water, some painkillers, and heading

    up the stairs again.

    Entering the master bedroom, I was hoping Rowan was still asleep and I could just leave the water and

    pills, but unfortunately for me he¡¯s awake.

    To be honest, I don¡¯t think I¡¯m ready to face or talk to him. Without saying a word, I walk across the

    room and ce the items on the bedside table.

    I was about to leave, but just like yesterday night he stops me.

    ¡°Morning, Ava¡± he greets, his eyes shadowed.

    I know it¡¯s petnt, but I ignore his greetings. I try to pull away, but he holds firm, refusing to let go.

    ¡°Let go of my hand,¡± I demand in a crisp voice.

    ¡°Not until you listen to me.¡±

    I was starting to get angry. The day had started well with my reconciliation with Noah, and now he

    wanted to ruin it. Over my dead body. I wasn¡¯t going to let him.

    ¡°Listen to what? To how you used my body as a substitute for Emma?¡± I fume, trying to pull my hand

    away.

    He doesn¡¯t budge. Instead, he tugs, and I end up falling on hisp. Once there, he wraps both of his

    hands around me and cages me in. I try to free myself, but it¡¯s no use. He was stronger than me, and

    twice my size.

    I keep struggling, even after he kisses my exposed shoulders.

    ¡°What I said, I said in a fit of anger. You know me, Ava, and you know I say things without thinking

    when I¡¯m angry. It¡¯s not an excuse, but I want you to understand me. Emma had said that you hurt her

    and that you¡¯d told her some pretty hurtful things. I didn¡¯t know she¡¯d lied, so I came to confront you. I

    wanted to hurt you just like you hurt her. I knew those words would kill you, that¡¯s why I said them in the

    first ce.¡±

    I stop struggling, but not by much. Hearing what he said for some reason just hurt even more.

    ¡°I¡¯m guessing this didn¡¯t happen long ago and goes to show your feelings for her if you were willing to

    hurt me that much, just so you could avenge her.¡± I snarl at him, refusing to ept his damn

    exnation.

    I didn¡¯t even want to know what went down between me and Emma, If I¡¯d hurt her, then f must have

    had a pretty good reason. I wouldn¡¯t have just attacked her for kicks and giggles.

    ¡°I don¡¯t love her,¡± he growls back.

    ¡°Well, it looks like you did; otherwise, exin what moved you to say those disgusting things to me.¡± I

    ask. ¡°I never held you back. I always knew our marriage was only because of Noah. I wouldn¡¯t have

    stopped you if you decided to have a mistress, as long as you kept it private and away from the media,

    but to use me like that? That is downright disgusting¡±

    This time, when I struggle, I jab my hand into his stomach, and he releases me with a groan. 1 stood

    up and was about to leave when he crossed the room faster than the sh and locked the door.

 Chapter 330

    ¡°I didn¡¯t use Ava; I wanted you,¡± he says as he pockets the key. I guess I wasn¡¯t leaving the room.

    ¡°You wanted me? Then howe you took a shower the moment you pulled out of me? Howe

    you never took me raw without wearing a condom first? Howe you always held back? Hell, you

    rarely even kissed me on the mouth! And you say you wanted me? You could have fooled me.¡±

    All the things I¡¯ve tried burying came to the surface, and I hated how vulnerable they made me feel, so

    instead, I reced them with anger.

    ¡°One of the memories I had after our date was sleeping with Ethan. It was everything sex should be.

    Passion and heat. With him, I felt wanted and desired, while with you, it felt like I was just an obligation.

    A chore. You say you wanted me, but that¡¯s a lie. Ethan showed me what it truly means to be desired

    by a man.¡±

    The memory of having sex with Ethan hade unexpectedly, just like the others. It had also shown

    me what had been missing in my sexual life with Rowan. I didn¡¯t want topare both experiences,

    but he had to see that I wasn¡¯t a fool to believe that he¡¯d wanted me

    I stare at him and see the pain that shes in his eyes when I tell him about sex with Ethan. I didn¡¯t

    care, though; I was way past the point of caring.

    I didn¡¯t even feel anything when I remembered having sex with Ethan. There was just no feeling.

    Nothing close to what I felt for Rowan. (2)

    ¡°The only time you¡¯ve ever taken me like you wanted was when we first slept together and we both

    know we were drunk and you thought I was Emma.¡±

    He closes his eyes before opening them again. ¡°You know me, Ava; you know I never do anything

    unless I want to. Tell me, would I have slept with you if I didn¡¯t want to? If some part of me didn¡¯t want

    you?¡±

    I go to argue with him, but I stop. He was right. Rowan never does anything he doesn¡¯t want to. He¡¯s

    not one to be swayed to do things he doesn¡¯t want to do.

    ¡°I believe the way things ended with Emma is what held me back. I never got closure, and neither did

    she. You¡¯re right, I could have gotten a mistress, but I preferred you even though I thought I hated you.

    I preferred sleeping with the woman I believed was my enemy instead of getting a mistress, even

    though I knew you wouldn¡¯t have a problem with it.¡±

    I drop on the bed and just stare at him. ¡°If that¡¯s the case, why did you hold back then?¡±

    ¡°Because in the back of my mind, I believed it¡¯s wrong to want you. You¡¯d destroyed what I believed

    were my chances with the love of my life, how then could I want you? How could I

    ¡°What I said, I said in a fit of anger. You know me, Ava, and you know I say things without thinking

    when I¡¯m angry. It¡¯s not an excuse, but I want you to understand me. Emma had said that you hurt her

    and that you¡¯d told her some pretty hurtful things. I didn¡¯t know she¡¯d lied, so I came to confront you. I

    wanted to hurt you just like you hurt her. I knew those words would kill you; that¡¯s why I said them in the

    first ce.¡±

    I stop struggling, but not by much. Hearing what he said for some reason just hurt even more.

    ¡°I¡¯m guessing this didn¡¯t happen long ago and goes to show your feelings for her if you were willing to

    hurt me that much, just so you could avenge her.¡± I snarl at him, refusing to ept his damn

    exnation.

    I didn¡¯t even want to know what went down between me and Emma. If I¡¯d hurt her, then I must have

    had a pretty good reason. I wouldn¡¯t have just attacked her for kicks and giggles.

    ¡°I don¡¯t love her,¡± he growls back.

    ¡°Well, it looks like you did; otherwise, exin what moved you to say those disgusting things to me.¡± I

    ask. ¡°I never held you back. I always knew our marriage was only because of Noah. I wouldn¡¯t have

    stopped you if you decided to have a mistress, as long as you kept it private and away from the media,

    but to use me like that? That is downright disgusting.¡±

    This time, when I struggle, I jab my hand into his stomach, and he releases me with a groan. I stood up

    and was about to leave when he crossed the room faster than the sh and locked the door.

 Chapter 331

    T¡¯en still reeling from everything that Rowan told me. Everything that he told me made sense, but I just

    don¡¯t know whether I can trust his mond

    My mind has been in turmoil since then. I didn¡¯t know whether to believe him or not. I get that he had a

    hard time letting go of everything he and Emma had nned for the future I get that he also had a hard

    time letting go of a love that he thought would be eternal. Hell, t understand that if I were in his shoes, I

    would have struggled too with my feelings, but what about me?

    What about what I¡¯ve been through at his hands? What about the paint endured and the feelings I¡¯m

    still struggling with? I¡¯ve loved Rowan even when I shouldn¡¯t have, and I think the moment I realized

    that I should have let go.

    I want a future with him, but how can I fight against my memories of everything he¡¯s ever done to hurt

    me? I can forgive, but I¡¯m really not sure that I can forget, and that¡¯s where the problem lies. I believe

    that past pain and memories will always pull us back a few steps behind, every time we make progress.

    ¡°We¡¯re here, ma¡¯am,¡± Boris, who is my driver and also my bodyguard, says, pulling me out of my

    thoughts.

    I look outside, and we¡¯re packed right outside my parent¡¯s mansion.

    He gets outside, opens the door for me, and helps me unbuckle Iris. I thank him once that¡¯s done and

    then begin heading towards the house.

    Iris was fussy, and I was double sure it¡¯s because she was hungry, or the long ride to my parents

    house.

    The door opens before I can even knock, and Nora¡¯s excited face greets us.

    ¡°I¡¯m so happy you¡¯re here,¡± she says giddily, making me grin at her excitement despite my inner turmoil.

    ¡°Hi,¡± I murmur awkwardly.

    She pulls me in for a tight hug, careful not to hurt Iris. Theo appears behind her and does the same. In

    their arms, I feel something that I never felt with Kate and James. The countable times they hugged

    me, it felt cold, but with Nora and Theo, it felt warm, and I felt like I was safe and at peace.

    ¡°Come on in¡­ I¡¯ve been anxiously waiting for you toe¡± she says as she ushers me inside.

    ¡°She¡¯s right, you know¡­ She¡¯s been so excited. It was like looking at a kid in a candy store,¡±

    Nora ps his chest yfully. ¡°Stop pretending, old man, you were the same,¡± she then turns to me.

    ¡°He kept asking when his little girl would get here.¡±

    Their yfulness and the love shinning in their eyes bring an ufortable feeling to me. This is what

    I wanted with Rowan. What I¡¯ve always wanted. Only, I¡¯m not sure that we¡¯ll ever get it at this point.

    I mean, Nora and Theo are teen sweethearts and are still together. Rowan and Emma were high

    school sweethearts, and I can¡¯t help but wonder if they would still be together if I hadn¡¯t happened. If

    my obsession hadn¡¯t broken them apart. I guess deep down, that¡¯s one of the things that I struggle with

    when ites to my rtionship with Rowan. That, and my missing memories.

    When we get to the living room, I cover myself and feed Iris. When she¡¯s done, I burp her, and

    immediately Nora takes her from me. I don¡¯t mind because I needed to pull myself together.

    I watch them y with her as I try to bring my head back in order. I was here to tell them that I was

    ready to give them a chance, but my head was somewhere else. I admit that I was quite a mess. My

    thoughts were jumbled, and I felt like I needed to make a decision.

    ¡°I can tell that you¡¯re trouble, my dear. Mind sharing?¡± Nora¡¯s sweet and soft voice pulls me away from

    my musings.

    I stare at her, then Theo, wondering if I should talk to them or not. I needed advice. Letty was on team

    Rowan, and from what I¡¯ve learned, she has always been on his team. As for my parents, they weren¡¯t

    really big fans of Rowan, so I don¡¯t know if their advice would be biased or not.

 Chapter 332

    ¡°You can talk to us about anything that¡¯s bothering you. We¡¯ll listen,¡± Theo adds with a small smile on

    his face.

    I take a deep breath and then open my mouth. ¡°It¡¯s about Rowan,¡±

    Nora coos at Iris before turning to me. ¡°I figured out that much.¡±

    ¡°What do you guys think of him? He¡¯s hurt me, but I also see some changes in him. My problem is that

    I don¡¯t know whether to forgive him and move forward or not. We talked, and he said some things.

    Things I¡¯m just not sure if I should ept or not,¡± I don¡¯t even know if I was making sense, but I just let

    it out the way I was processing it in my mind.

    They stare at each other before they both turn to me. Theo is the first to speak.

    ¡°I don¡¯t like Rowan; I have to be honest with you about that. Not after everything he¡¯s put you through.

    I¡¯d rather bury him where no one would ever find his body, but that¡¯s just my anger speaking. Anger and

    bitterness at what you went through at his hands.¡± He begins, and I lean forward, eager to hear what he

    is going to say.

    Hopefully, I could get a different perspective or a light at the end of the tunnel. Anything that would

    point me in the right direction.

    ¡°That said, I witnessed how he was when you were at the hospital. He lived each day like a part of him

    had been torn and killed. He was a shadow of himself. He wasn¡¯t living; he was merely surviving. He

    was there at the hospital and most of the nights, slept by your side, waiting for you to wake up.¡±

    I know there is more he wants to say, but he is holding back.

    Nora picks up from him. ¡°We¡¯ve also been told about everything he did to try to protect you when Ethan

    sent men after you. I don¡¯t think he even realized the meaning behind his actions. Rowan thought he

    hated you, but only someone who loves you will go to the extents Rowan went to just to protect you.¡±

    I sink into the sofa,pletely speechless. I didn¡¯t know. I didn¡¯t ever think that he would do all that.

    ¡°You never know the value of a person until they¡¯re gone; that applies to Rowan. He had to lose you

    just so he could wake the fuck up. Like I said, he¡¯s thest man I would choose for

    but I also have to admit that through his actions, he proved that he does love you. He was almostte

    in realizing this fact, but he woke up just in time.¡± Theo squeezes my hand as I fight back my tears.

    ¡°So, what should I do?¡± I ask them, willing them to give me an answer. One that would solve all of my

    problems.

    Nora gives Iris over to Theo and pulls me into her arms. ¡°Oh, honey, we can¡¯t answer that for you. Only

    you know what¡¯s best for you. You have to ask yourself if you can forgive him. If you¡¯re willing to move

    forward with him despite the past pains. You have to ask yourself if you¡¯re willing to let go of everything

    bad that happened between you two.¡®

    She pauses, then continues.

    ¡°You two have a long way to go if you decide to give him a chance. Your heart won¡¯t heal magically in a

    day or two, and sometimes, when the pain and memories rush back to the surface, you¡¯ll question

    whether you made the right decision in taking him back. Your healing journey won¡¯t be easy because

    you¡¯ll have moments when something triggers, but I believe that he¡¯s strong enough to take your pain.

    Given he almost lost you, I believe he¡¯s now inclined to do anything to help you heal, even if it takes

    him his whole life.¡±

    I hear, and I love that they¡¯veid down the facts for me. Mom is right; there will always be triggers.

    Hell, that¡¯s what happened about a week ago. The memory I had triggered all my past insecurities and

    pain.

    I understand that decision solely rests on me, and that scares me so much because I don¡¯t know if I

    can stay with Rowan, and I¡¯m also not sure if I can let him go.

    Hey loves, I just wanted to thank you if you¡¯vee this far and stuck with me. I wanted to let you

    know that I n onpleting Ex- Husband¡¯s Regret in one or one and a half week. From Monday I¡¯ll

    be doing double updates so we canplete it quickly. After that I¡¯ll do a side story on Gabe like most

    had requested which will also be a continuation of some of the other characters like Calvin and Reaper.

    When that¡¯s done we¡¯ll do a separate book on Noah and Gunner¡¯s side story will be included in there.

    That¡¯s all. Lots of love, let me know what you think and have a great weekend.

    ¡±

    I like it

 Chapter 333

    I stay at my parents¡® house a little longer. Iris is eating up the attention that is being given to her by her

    grandparents. Although she is small, she loves attention, especially if the attentiones in the form of

    belly kisses.

    Looking at her, I wish that my life was that simple. Was I the only one who¡¯s ever desired the life of a

    child? They didn¡¯t have a worry in the world except food and dirty diapers. Their

    innocence is like a balm to a wounded and troubled soul.

    Then they grow up, life happens, and they be jaded. If I could save both my children from this

    thing called love, I would, but I know ultimately I can¡¯t because they have their own destiny to follow,

    whether it will be full of happiness, heartache, or a mix of both.

    I continue watching as both sets of grandparents y with my daughter on the grass. Nora was holding

    aughing Iris. You want to know what she wasughing at? Well, apparently, she found it really

    hrious seeing Theo roll on the grass.

    I get her too. If I was in a better mood, I would also find it funny. Who would have thought that one of

    the most powerful couples in the city would be like this with their grandchild?

    I don¡¯t remember the parents of Kate and James, but what I remember is them being really cold and

    stoic, but maybe it was just towards me. As for Mother and Father, even though they loved Noah, I

    never once saw them behave like Nora and Theo. Their warmness warmed my heart.

    I take a sip of my drink, trying so hard to fight against the decision I was sure I had to make. Part of me

    thought I needed time, but the other knew that Rowan and I couldn¡¯t continue the way we were. It took

    that memory to destroy everything I thought we were building since I woke up.

    I felt the sincerity in his words, but I was having a hard time letting go. This time around, what

    threatened our rtionship wasn¡¯t hisck of concern and love for me. This time, it was the echoes and

    memories of his past mistakes.

    ¡°Is something still bothering you?¡± Nora¡¯s voice startles me, mainly because I¡¯m so lost in my thoughts

    that I don¡¯t even see here towards me.

    ¡°I forgot to tell you the reason why I asked for a meeting,¡± I answered, trying to dodge the question.

    Of course, a lot of things still bothered me, but I wasn¡¯t going to burden her with that. This fell wholly on

    me. I was the one who was struggling. The one that this whole thing fell on. I didn¡¯t want to dampen

    others spirits with my troubles.

    ¡°That¡¯s not important,¡± she tells me softly. ¡°Not when you¡¯re clearly still struggling with

    I just stared at her. Maybe what I need is fresh air. I felt a bit suffocated. A bit unhinged. I felt

    ufortable in my own skin.

    ¡°I¡¯ll be okay. I¡¯m just struggling with what I need to do and what decisions I need to make.¡±

    She nods her head in understanding before pulling me into her arms. Her warmth and care make me

    want to cry. I felt so overwhelmed, so burdened by everything. I felt lost, like I was just drifting. Fighting

    the tears back, I pull away from her.

    ¡°Is it okay if I leave Iris with you for a couple of hours?¡± I ask, trying to control the tremble in my voice. ¡°I

    want to go pick a gift for Noah.¡±

    Her eyes sear into mine. I know she knows I¡¯m using this as an excuse, but she also

    understands that I need to breathe and be alone.

    ¡°Sure, my love. No problem,¡± she smiles at me. ¡°Take as much time as you need.¡±

    After I said my goodbyes, I left. I tell Boris to drive me to the mall.

    I already had an idea of what I wanted to buy Noah, and maybe a little shopping will give me an escape

    from the constant turmoil of my thoughts.

    We get to the mall, and without wasting time, I start going from shop to shop. Noah wasn¡¯t subtle, and

    he dropped obvious hints about what he wanted. All of thembined made a whole list. He wasn¡¯t

    spoilt, but he also knew that neither of his parents werecking in the financial department, so he was

    ¡°Ava!¡±

    I had just finished buying thest item on the list when I heard her voice. Turning around, I found Letty

    and Corrine rushing towards me. They both embraced me in a bear hug before stepping away.

    ¡°What are you doing here? If we had known we would all be here, we would have organized lunch,¡±

    Letty all but screams, her happiness at seeing me clearly evident.

    ¡°I decided toest minute to shop for Noah¡¯s birthday gifts,¡± I answer, giving both of them a smile.

    ¡°Where is Iris? Is she with Rowan? I still remember how he left work to babysit her simply because you

    wanted to go shopping,¡± Corrine says in a dreamy voice.

    Gosh, why was this so hard? She looked so hopeful and so happy, and in her own world, dreaming

    about how happy Rowan and I were. I don¡¯t say anything. I won¡¯t say anything until I¡¯ve made a

    decision.

    ¡°Do you want to get lunch?¡± Letty asks. She probably assumed that Corrine is right and Iris is with

    Rowan.

    ¡°Sure¡±

    We walk to a nearby restaurant, with Boris following behind us. We get a table, and immediately a

    waiteres to take our orders.

    Immediately, Corrine and Letty start chatting. Today I wasn¡¯t in the mood, but I needed a distraction.

    Something to take my mind off things with Rowan.

    ¡°So, has Reaper been by to see you again?¡± Letty asks, her excitement evident.

    Corrine bites her lips, telling us all we need to know.

    ¡°Yes. In fact, he did more than just visit,¡± she beamed, her eyes sparkling with admiration. He rocked

    my world the entire night.¡±

    ¡°Get out!¡± Letty shrieks, almost getting out of her chair. ¡°Give us all the tea, woman. Don¡¯t leave us

    hanging.¡±

    I wasn¡¯t interested before, but this got me interested. I didn¡¯t think that she would go through with it, but

    it seems like I was wrong. Even after she said she would consider it just to aggravate her father, I didn¡¯t

    take her seriously.

    ¡°Well, he showed up again; I let him in, and then he proceeded to fuck my brains out,¡± Corrine smirked,

    still clearly on cloud nine.

    ¡°Seriously? That¡¯s all you¡¯re going to tell us.¡± Letty looks offended by this. ¡°I want the spicy details: how

    big is he, what positions did he take you in, how long did hest, and how many times did you cum?¡±

    I chuckled at that. Letty looked like she would die if she didn¡¯t get the answers to her questions. She

    looked eager and was sitting at the edge of her seat. I couldn¡¯t hold it in anymore, and I ended up

    funny.

    ¡°What?¡± she asked, looking at me as if she couldn¡¯t understand what I found so funny.

    Iughed harder. ¡°You. Why are you so desperate to know what her tumble in the sheets was like? Do

    you want a threesome or something?¡±

    She res at me, but I know there is no heat behind the loo. She knew I was just joking.

    ¡°No, thank you¡­ I just want to know if they did a position I¡¯ve yet to try since I like experimenting in the

    bedroom. Trevor¡¯s dick is enough for me.¡®

    ¡°That is disgusting.¡± I made a look of disgust as she smirked at me. She¡¯d just gotten back at me in the

    best way she knew how.

    They bothugh at me as I try not to gag at the image she painted. If I¡¯m honest, I don¡¯t know what she

    sees in Trevor, but love is love, and maybe my bad experience with him has clouded my judgement

    when ites to him.

    Anyway, as much as I would want someone else for my friend, I wasn¡¯t going to interfere. If she loved

    him, then I would have to deal.

    ¡°So, is it a one¨Cnight kind of thing, or will he be back for more?¡± I ask curiously as I push thoughts of

    Trevor out of my mind.

    ¡°Since we both liked it, we agreed to be acquaintances with benefits.¡±

    Letty looks puzzled. ¡°What the fuck is that?¡±

    ¡°You know, like friends with benefits kind of thing. We aren¡¯t friends, and we don¡¯t really know each

    other, so acquaintances with benefits suit us perfectly.¡±

    Slowlyughing, I stare at Letty as she looks at Corrine, like she said the most absurd thing she¡¯s ever

    heard,

    For the first time since everything went sour with Rowan, I wasughing and having fun watching the

    bickering between Letty and Corrine. They managed to do something no one else has been able to do

    these past few days. They managed to get my mind off my problems.

    ¡°So you¡¯ll continue seeing him?¡± Lettie asks.

    ¡°If you mean, will I continue fucking him? Then yes. The sex is good, and there¡¯s no strings attached,

    just the way I like it.¡±

    I don¡¯t say anything, but for some reason, I stare at Letty to find her looking at me. A smile creeps on

    her face because we have the same thought. Something told me that one of them or both of them were

    going to fall.

    ¡°By the way, did you decide on what you¡¯ll do?¡± Corrine turned to me.

    I¡¯d told them how I was struggling to stay at home doing nothing. Re¨Clearning things is working, but the

    progress is slow. At this point, I think it¡¯ll be years before I can go back to teaching.

    ¡°No. I still haven¡¯t figured things out.¡±

    ¡°What about your foundation?¡± Letty asks, sipping her lemonade.

    ¡°What foundation?¡±

    They tell me everything, taking turns to exin things to me. By the time I¡¯m done, I¡¯m shocked at all

    the progress I¡¯ve made. I remember feeling sorry for a boy in my ss and wishing I could help him.

    Turns out I birthed an idea and saw it through.

    ¡°Mary held back because the doctor had warned about stressing you and wearing you down. She¡¯s

    managed to keep the foundation running, but I¡¯m sure she¡¯ll be happy to have her boss back. That

    woman literally worships the ground you walk on,¡± Letty gushed, making me feel shy for some reason.

    I didn¡¯t know this, Mary, but to hear that she adored me was a bit disconcerting. That quickly faded

    away when I realized that I could actually work. That I didn¡¯t have to stay home all day long, and since

    the foundation houses had other kids, I could always bring Iris with me.

    ¡°I¡¯m sure you could find something to do there that doesn¡¯t put a strain on you,¡± Corrine adds. with a

    warm smile.

    I return the smile. ¡°You¡¯re right. If it¡¯s a big foundation, as you put it, then I¡¯m sure I¡¯ll find something to

    do.¡±

    We continue chatting until our orders arrive, and then we eat. Once we are done, we chat a bit more

    before we decide to call it a day.

    I was just getting out of the restaurant, and I¡¯d said goodbye to both Corrine and Letty when I felt a chill

    run down my spine.

    I look around, but I don¡¯t see anything or anyone out of the ordinary. Wrapping my hand around myself,

    I continue walking towards the car.

    Boris helps me, but it doesn¡¯t chase away the fear that all of a sudden ovees me. Boris didn¡¯t

    seem to notice anything and just drove off, but I felt it, the chilling stare of someone who wanted to

    harm me.

 Chapter 334

    Chapter 334

    ¡°Get out!¡± Letty shrieks, almost getting out of her chair. ¡°Give us all the tea, woman. Don¡¯t leave us

    hanging.¡±

    I wasn¡¯t interested before, but this got me interested. I didn¡¯t think that she would go through with it, but

    it seems like I was wrong. Even after she said she would consider it just to aggravate her father, I didn¡¯t

    take her seriously.

    ¡°Well, he showed up again; I let him in, and then he proceeded to fuck my brains out,¡± Corrine smirked,

    still clearly on cloud nine.

    ¡°Seriously? That¡¯s all you¡¯re going to tell us.¡± Letty looks offended by this. ¡°I want the spicy details: how

    big is he, what positions did he take you in, how long did hest, and how many times did you cum?¡±

    I chuckled at that. Letty looked like she would die if she didn¡¯t get the answers to her questions. She

    looked eager and was sitting at the edge of her seat. I couldn¡¯t hold it in anymore, and I ended up

    funny.

    ¡°What?¡± she asked, looking at me as if she couldn¡¯t understand what I found so funny.

    Iughed harder. ¡°You. Why are you so desperate to know what her tumble in the sheets was like? Do

    you want a threesome or something?¡±

    She res at me, but I know there is no heat behind the loo. She knew I was just joking.

    ¡°No, thank you¡­ I just want to know if they did a position I¡¯ve yet to try since I like experimenting in the

    bedroom. Trevor¡¯s dick is enough for me.¡± (2

    ¡°That is disgusting.¡± I made a look of disgust as she smirked at me. She¡¯d just gotten back at me in the

    best way she knew how.

    They bothugh at me as I try not to gag at the image she painted. If I¡¯m honest, I don¡¯t know what she

    sees,in Trevor, but love is love, and maybe my bad experience with him has clouded my judgement

    when ites to him.

    Anyway, as much as I would want someone else for my friend, I wasn¡¯t going to interfere. If she loved

    him, then I would have to deal.

    ¡°So, is it a one¨Cnight kind of thing, or will he be back for more?¡± I ask curiously as I push thoughts of

    Trevor out of my mind.

    ¡°Since we both liked it, we agreed to be acquaintances with benefits.¡±

    Letty looks puzzled. ¡°What the fuck is that?¡±

    ¡°You know, like friends with benefits kind of thing. We aren¡¯t friends, and we don¡¯t really know each

    other, so acquaintances with benefits suit us perfectly.¡± a

    Slowlyughing, I stare at Letty as she looks at Corrine, like she said the most absurd thing she¡¯s ever

    heard.

    For the first time since everything went sour with Rowan, I wasughing and having fun watching the

    bickering between Letty and Corrine. They managed to do something no one else has been able to do

    these past few days. They managed to get my mind off my problems.

    ¡°So you¡¯ll continue seeing him?¡± Lettie asks.

    ¡°If you mean, will I continue fucking him? Then yes. The sex is good, and there¡¯s no strings attached,

    just the way I like it.¡±

    I don¡¯t say anything, but for some reason, I stare at Letty to find her looking at me. A smile creeps on

    her face because we have the same thought. Something told me that one of them or both of them were

    going to fall.

    ¡°By the way, did you decide on what you¡¯ll do?¡± Corrine turned to me.

    I¡¯d told them how I was struggling to stay at home doing nothing. Re¨Clearning things is working, but the

    progress is slow. At this point, I think it¡¯ll be years before I can go back to teaching.

    ¡°No. I still haven¡¯t figured things out.¡±

    ¡°What about your foundation?¡± Letty asks, sipping her lemonade.

    ¡°What foundation?¡±

    They tell me everything, taking turns to exin things to me. By the time I¡¯m done, I¡¯m shocked at all

    the progress I¡¯ve made. I remember feeling sorry for a boy in my ss and wishing I could help him.

    Turns out I birthed an idea and saw it through.

    ¡°Mary held back because the doctor had warned about stressing you and wearing you down. She¡¯s

    managed to keep the foundation running, but I¡¯m sure she¡¯ll be happy to have her boss back. That

    woman literally worships the ground you walk on,¡± Letty gushed, making me feel shy for some reason.

    I didn¡¯t know this, Mary, but to hear that she adored me was a bit disconcerting. That quickly faded

    away when I realized that I could actually work. That I didn¡¯t have to stay home all day long, and since

    the foundation houses had other kids, I could always bring Iris with me.

    ¡°I¡¯m sure you could find something to do there that doesn¡¯t put a strain on you, ¡°Corrine adds with a

    warm smile.

    I return the smile. ¡°You¡¯re right. If it¡¯s a big foundation, as you put it, then I¡¯m sure I¡¯ll find something to

    do.¡±

    We continue chatting until our orders arrive, and then we eat. Once we are done, we chat a bit more

    before we decide to call it a day.

    I was just getting out of the restaurant, and I¡¯d said goodbye to both Corrine and Letty when I felt a chill

    run down my spine.

    I look around, but I don¡¯t see anything or anyone out of the ordinary. Wrapping my hand around myself,

    I continue walking towards the car.

    Boris helps me, but it doesn¡¯t chase away the fear that all of a sudden ovees me. Boris didn¡¯t

    seem to notice anything and just drove off, but I felt it, the chilling stare of someone who wanted to

    harm me.

 Chapter 335

    Chapter 335

    Rowan

    Fuck, I hate it! I hate this tension and unease between Ava and me. I hate that every single time we

    cross paths, she stares at me like she doesn¡¯t know what to do with me.

    It¡¯s been a couple of days since that morning. I thought that things would be okay between us once I

    exined everything, but I was damn wrong. In fact, it¡¯s like, after I told her everything, things just went

    downhill from there.

    I moved back home, and things haven¡¯t been the same. Don¡¯t get me wrong, she hasn¡¯t turned into a

    raging bitch or anything like that, but at this point, I would prefer that to the cold politeness she shows

    me.

    My fear of losing her gets stronger and stronger each and every day. I can¡¯t help but wonder what will

    happen once she gets her memory back and finds out that we are divorced. That I had deceived her.

    The fear has a grip on my fucking heart. I don¡¯t want to lose her, and I¡¯m afraid that¡¯s what will happen

    when the truthes out.

    Unable to sit still, I stand up and start pacing. My office here at home has been the ce where I¡¯ve

    spent most of my time. I hardly sleep. The thought of losing her keeps me awake most nights.

    Part of me wants to just tell her the truth. You know, rip it off like a band aid and just face the

    consequences head¨Con. The other part, though, is unwilling to. The other part still holds on to hope

    that Ava and I will be okay.

    My door opens and Gabe walks in. For a split second, I see how busy and chaotic it is outside my

    office before the door closes.

    ¡°Ava went all out this time, didn¡¯t she?¡± He asks with a small smile while sitting down.

    Today was Noah¡¯s birthday, and the organizers were doing the final touches. It was a superhero theme

    party because that was what Noah wanted, and what he wanted, he got. All his friends from school

    were invited, and so was his entire ss. He even invited his favorite teacher.

    Instead of saying anything, I just nod before looking outside my window. The nners were busy

    setting up what needed to be set up. Ava was busy directing them, with Irisfortably stered to

    her front.

    My eyes remain on her. It¡¯s like I can¡¯t; she¡¯s hypnotized me and I can¡¯t get my eyes off even if I tried.

    As if sensing my gaze, she turns, and our eyes collide. We stare at each other for a moment, my heart

    pleading with her, but soon she pulls away and looks in another direction.

    ¡°So how have things been?¡± Gabe asks after a while.

    ¡°Terrible¡±

    He doesn¡¯t say anything for a while, and neither do I. Instead, I continued to stare outside. L continue

    staring at her, willing her to turn around and look at me. When she doesn¡¯t, I exhale a tired sigh and

    walk back to my chair.

    ¡°Nothing changed after you exined things to her?¡± he inquires.

    I wasn¡¯t really in the fucking mood to talk, but I knew I needed to get myself together. Today is Noah¡¯s

    birthday; I am not going to be a downer and spoil the day for him.

    ¡°None.¡± I breathe out. ¡°She doesn¡¯t ignore me like she did before, but she isn¡¯t back to her normal self.

    She¡¯s a bit distant.¡±

    I guess I was now getting a taste of my own medicine, and I can tell you that it sucked balls. If I could, I

    would spit it out, but I can¡¯t. This is karma¡­ And besides, this is what I deserved for treating Ava like

    shit all these years.

    ¡°You¡¯ve got to understand her and give her some fucking time. Remembering what you told her isn¡¯t

    easy; I mean, hell, if I¡¯d been in her shoes, I would be torn. No matter your exnation, no matter

    whether you meant it or not, none of that matters. Hearing those words from the man you love is

    shattering.¡±

    I do get what he¡¯s saying. I understand. I would also be shattered if the roles had been reversed. I have

    no excuse. I¡¯m a total asshole, and now my actions are back to bite my ass.

    Each day feels like my heart is being torn. I know I¡¯m the only one to me for my pain, but I can¡¯t help

    but wish and pray that she will forgive me. That she would give us a chance even if I didn¡¯t give it to her

    back then. (2)

    ¡°Has she told you anything? What she¡¯s thinking? Or how she¡¯s feeling?¡± he asks, and I shake my

    head.

    ¡°She hasn¡¯t, but deep down, I feel like it¡¯s because she¡¯s trying to make a decision on whether to stay

    with me or not,¡± I answer honestly, leaning tiredly against the back of my chair.

    ¡°Seriously? Has she told you that?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ It¡¯s more of a gut feeling.¡±

    And that scares me more than anything. I¡¯ve seen it in her eyes asionally when she looks at me.

    There¡¯s uncertainty in them about whether to forgive me or leave me. It fucking scares me because I

    know how easily I could lose her.

    ¡°So now we just wait?¡±

    I nod my head, already feeling defeated. ¡°Yes. That¡¯s the only thing to do right now.¡±

    We are silent again after that. That is, until the door opens, revealing Ava.

    ¡°Sorry, I didn¡¯t know Gabe was in here,¡± she apologizes. ¡°Hi Gabe¡±

    ¡°Hello Ava¡±

    Iris, seeing me, tries to twist in her mom¡¯s hand to get to me. I stand up and go to them. I pick her up

    and shees willingly to me.

    ¡°Is there a problem?¡± I ask her, watching as her eyes dart around the office.

    She bites her lips, something she does when she¡¯s anxious and nervous.

    ¡°I got a call from Kate,¡± she says. ¡°She wanted to know if she coulde to the party and was

    requesting if she could bring Emma because she¡¯s been depressed as ofte.¡±

    Her eyes zone in on me. This is a decision she could have made on her own, but I know what she¡¯s

    doing. She wants to see my reactions. She wants to see if I¡¯m going to tell her to invite them, and then

    she¡¯s going to use that as proof that I¡¯m still in love with Emma, giving her the excuse she needs to

    leave me.

    I wasn¡¯t in love with Emma, but I know it will take time for her to believe and ept that, given that I¡¯ve

    rubbed my former love for Emma to her face countless times.

    Giving her a small smile, I answer. ¡°I don¡¯t really care if shees or not, so the decision is up to you.

    Do what¡¯sfortable with you.¡±

    She nods her head with a small smile on her lips. She is happy with my answer, but I feel like she isn¡¯t

    yet satisfied.

    Deep down, I know that she¡¯ll invite Emma just to gauge more of my reactions, and I¡¯m okay with that

    because I have nothing to hide or worry about, but something tells me that with Emma here, something

    big will go down.

 Chapter 336

    Chapter 336

    Ava

    I¡¯m already worn and tired. Don¡¯t get me wrong, I love Noah, but I can¡¯t wait for his party to end so that I

    can rest. The past few days have been busy with nning the part. That managed to keep my mind

    upied, but not by much.

    I¡¯m still in turmoil about what I should do. Every time I look at him, I can¡¯t help but wonder if I should

    give him a chance or not. I do love him, but I¡¯m just not sure I¡¯ll ever truly heal and let go of everything

    he has put me through.

    Pulling myself from those thoughts, I text Kate and tell her it¡¯s okay for her to bring Emma. Travis was

    obviouslying, as were Rowan¡¯s parents and Kate. They attended every birthday Noah has ever

    had. It would be rude of me not to invite them because of my issues with them. Besides, Noah wanted

    them here.

    She replies immediately and says they¡¯ll be over in around thirty minutes. I know it might be immature

    of me, but I wanted to test Rowan. I wanted to see if there were any lingering feelings between him and

    Rowan.

    ¡°Mom!¡± Noah screams my name, scaring the life out of me.

    ¡°What is it?¡± I ask, turning, only to find him grinning from ear to ear.

    Seeing him this happy makes all my troubles and worries melt away. Iris was still with Rowan and

    Gabe, but both she and Noah were my life. Even if I decide not to get back together with Rowan,

    having them in my life would be enough.

    ¡°Is it time yet?¡± His excitement is evident, making meugh at how he was bouncing from one foot to

    another.

    ¡°Not yet,¡± I answer him. ¡°But in a few minutes, your guests will start arriving. I¡¯ll call you then so you can

    help me wee them.¡±

    He nods his head eagerly. Happiness radiating from every pore of his body. ¡°Okay, call me when it¡¯s

    time.¡±

    I nod my head, and he rushes/upstairs, all the while muttering how he¡¯s going to make sure he looks

    dashing and handsome. Iugh at that, feeling joy and happiness spreading inside me.

    ¡°Ava!¡±

    I turn around to find my mom and dad entering the house. I¡¯d decided to call them that after I went back

    to pick up Iris that day. It just felt right, and they were happy to hear me call them that. Theo had told

    me he¡¯d missed hearing me call him dad.

    ¡°Hi Mom, hi Dad,¡± I greet, hugging them.

    ¡°We came early because we didn¡¯t want to miss a single thing.¡± Mom tells me giddily. ¡°This is the first

    time we get to celebrate our grandson¡¯s birthday and we wanted to be here to witness everything.¡±

    ¡°We bought gifts; I hope it¡¯s not too much,¡± Dad adds. ¡°We¡¯ve missed so many birthdays and we

    wanted to make it up to him.¡±

    My eyes bulged open, staring in shock as two of their drivers walked in with mountains of presents. I

    know Rowan, and I bought him a lot of gifts, but this was on another level. My mouth continues to hang

    wide open as the drivers ask me where to ce them.

    ¡°Outside,¡± Rowan says next to me. ¡°There is a space set aside for gifts; you won¡¯t miss it.¡±

    I sharply turn and stare at Rowan. I didn¡¯t even notice when he arrived. In my defense, though, there

    was a lot going on and a lot of noise. I didn¡¯t hear his footsteps.

    ¡°Nora, Theo,¡± he says, greeting my parents respectfully.

    ¡°Hello, Rowan,¡± Mom greets back, but dad just gives him a manly nod.

    Iris was lying on his shoulders,pletely asleep, with drooling out of her mouth. It surprised me

    that, despite the noise around her, she was sound asleep. She rarely sleeps when it¡¯s noisy. She¡¯s the

    type of child who requires absolute quietness so as to fall asleep.

    ¡°Seems like she¡¯s asleep,¡± Mom begins. ¡°How about we girls take Iris up for a nap while you boys have

    a chat?¡±

    She doesn¡¯t give any of them a chance to answer. She gently swoops Iris from Rowan¡¯s arms, grabs

    my hand, and tugs me away from the two men, who looked awkward standing together.

    We are both silent as we head upstairs towards Iris¡¯s room. Once we get there, mom gentlyys Iris in

    her crib. Once she¡¯s settled, she takes my hand, and we take a seat near the window.

    ¡°So, tell me, have you made a decision about Rowan?¡± she asks, holding my hand.

    I turn to face her and shake my head. ¡°No. I¡¯m still not sure about things.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve been thinking about it and I think that you should start getting therapy. Letty had told me that you¡¯d

    started but stopped for obvious reasons. I think that you should resume.¡± She begins. ¡°You went

    through a lot, and obviously letting go is going to be hard. You need help and someone to guide you in

    your healing journey.¡±

    I go to interrupt, but she cuts me off.

    ¡°I get it, my love, but you need this. Whether you choose to stay with Rowan or not, you will still need

    therapy. You can¡¯t say that you¡¯ll heal on your own, and sitting around without addressing the issue

    won¡¯t help at all. You¡¯ll try to move on, whether with Rowan or not, but the past will always drag you

    back until you address the problem, so please think about it¡±

    I remained quiet for a while. I get it and it does make sense. My issue is that I¡¯m having a hard time

    letting go of the past. Unless I deal with what happened, I will never heal or truly move on.

    ¡°Okay, mom, I¡¯ll do it.¡±

    She tightens her hand around mine. ¡°Another thing, if you decide to get back with Rowan, you¡¯ll both

    need couple therapy. Maybe Rowan will also need therapy on his own. Your lives started off on the

    wrong foot. You messed up when you obsessed over a man who belonged to someone else. I¡¯m not

    saying that what Rowan did was okay, but any sane person would do the same thing.

    He was hurt, angry, and had lost the girl he loved because of you. Yes, you were both drunk, but that

    doesn¡¯t take away the fact that you stalked him and approached him when he was alone and drinking.

    That was terrible of you, but I also understand that you were young. We were all young and stupid at

    one point in our lives and made mistakes we can¡¯t take back.¡±

    Everything she said made sense. I knew Emma and Rowan loved each other back then. I should have

    tried my best to crush my feelings for him instead of allowing them to foster and turn into an obsession.

    I was drunk when we had sex, but I wasn¡¯t when I decided to stalk him across town. I waspletely

    sober when I joined him at the bar, despite knowing he had been heavily drinking.

    ¡­ And I was definitely not drunk yet when I started flirting.

    I take a deep breath and release. I¡¯ve been ming Rowan for how our marriage turned out all these

    years, but how much of it was my fault?

    Sighing, I look at my mom. ¡°I don¡¯t know where we stand, but if we do give it a chance, I¡¯ll make sure

    we seek couple¡¯s therapy.¡±

    ¡°Good,¡± she nods with a small smile. ¡°Now, let go downstairs before your dad identally murders

    Rowan.¡±

    I chuckled at that while picking up the baby monitor, ¡°We both know it wouldn¡¯t be an ident.¡±

    We leave the room and head downstairs while chatting. We¡¯d just gotten on thest step when the door

    opened. Kate walks in; she looked pristine as always, but the person behind her shocked me

    Emma followed behind her. She looked like shit¡­ and I¡¯m not saying it as an insult, but she looked like

    she¡¯d been to hell and back.

 Chapter 337

    She doesn''t give any of them a chance to answer. She gently swoops Iris from Rowan''s arms, grabs my hand, and tugs me away from the two men, who looked awkward standing together.

    We are both silent as we head upstairs towards Iris''s room. Once we get there, mom gentlyys Iris in her crib. Once she''s settled, she takes my hand, and we take a seat near the window. "So, tell me, have you made a decision about Rowan?" she asks, holding my hand.

    I turn to face her and shake my head. "No. I''m still not sure about things.

    "I''ve been thinking about it and I think that you should start getting therapy. Letty had told me that you''d started but stopped for obvious reasons. I think that you should resume." She begins. "You went through a lot, and obviously letting go is going to be hard. You need help and someone to guide you in your healing journey."

    I go to interrupt, but she cuts me off.

    "I get it, my love, but you need this. Whether you choose to stay with Rowan or not, you will still need therapy. You can''t say that you''ll heal on your own, and sitting around without addressing the issue won''t help at all. You''ll try to move on, whether with Rowan or not, but the past will always drag you back until you address the problem, so please think about it"

    I remained quiet for a while. I get it and it does make sense. My issue is that I''m having a hard time letting go of the past. Unless I deal with what happened, I will never heal or truly moveon.

    "Okay, mom, I''ll do it."

    She tightens her hand around mine. "Another thing, if you decide to get back with Rowan, you''ll both need couple therapy. Maybe Rowan will also need therapy on his own. Your lives started off on the wrong foot. You messed up when you obsessed over a man who belonged to someone else. I''m not saying that what Rowan did was okay, but any sane person would do the same thing. (2)

    He was hurt, angry, and had lost the girl he loved because of you. Yes, you were both drunk, but that doesn''t take away the fact that you stalked him and approached him when he was alone and drinking. That was terrible of you, but I also understand that you were young. We were all young and stupid at one point in our lives and made mistakes we can''t take back."

    Everything she said made sense. I knew Emma and Rowan loved each other back then. I should have tried my best to crush my feelings for him instead of allowing them to foster and turn into an obsession.

    I was drunk when we had sex, but I wasn''t when I decided to stalk him across town. I waspletely sober when I joined him at the bar, despite knowing he had been heavily drinking.

    And I was definitely not drunk yet when I started flirting.

    I take a deep breath and release. I''ve been ming Rowan for how our marriage turned out all these years, but how much of it was my fault?

    Sighing, I look at my mom. "I don''t know where we stand, but if we do give it a chance, I''ll make sure we seek couple''s therapy."

    "Good," she nods with a small smile. "Now, let go downstairs before your dad identally murders Rowan."

    I chuckled at that while picking up the baby monitor, "We both know it wouldn''t be an ident."

    We leave the room and head downstairs while chatting. We''d just gotten on thest step when the door opened. Kate walks in; she looked pristine as always, but the person behind her shocked me Emma followed behind her. She looked like shit... and I''m not saying it as an insult, but she looked like she''d been to hell and back.

 Chapter 338

    I continue staring at Emma in shock. When Mother said that she¡¯s been in a depressing state, I didn¡¯t

    think it would be this bad.

    She looked nothing like her old self. She did try to dress up, or maybe Mother tried forcing her to dress

    up, and even though her ck pair of jeans, navy blue halter top, and a pair of wedge sandals looked

    nice, they did nothing to improve her appearance.

    Her face was ashen; her glorious blonde mane now looked greasy and thinning. Her cheek bones were

    also pronounced, but not in a good way, and she looked like she had lost a lot of weight.

    ¡°Oh my God,¡± mom whispers next to me.

    We take a step forward. I wasn¡¯t really sure what to do. I didn¡¯t know whether to wee them or just

    avoid them.

    Mom takes the initiative and leads me towards them. They both turn and look at us.

    ¡°Wee,¡± I murmur, feelingpletely awkward.

    Kate smiles at me, but when her eyes fall on mom and she looks at her protective hand around my

    waist, her happiness dims a little bit.

    ¡°Thank you,¡± she replies, her tone just as soft and awkward as mine had been moments ago.

    My eyes wander back to Emma, only to find her staring at me. I almost gasp as more shock hits me.

    Where her blue eyes were once lively, now they are dull. As if life and the will to live had been stripped

    from her.

    There was no malice or anger in her gaze as she looked at me. Actually, there was nothing. She

    seemed to be in a lot of pain, and she was trying to numb it.

    I don¡¯t understand why, because I don¡¯t think I¡¯ve ever been in her shoes, but I kind of understand her.

    Weirdly, I feel for her.

    ¡°You can just head out to the back. The rest of the guests haven¡¯t arrived yet, but there are some

    already there,¡± Mom tells both of them when I don¡¯t speak after a while

    Kate nods her head and guides her daughter. She wasn¡¯t a stranger at this house, so she knew where

    she was going.

    ¡°That girl is in a world of pain and regret,¡± Mom says in sympathy after both of them have left.

    She was right, though. Parts of me feel like I¡¯ve been there before, but I don¡¯t know why.

    In order to distract myself, I stare around the house. The nners were almost finished, and like the

    interior because I felt like I was living in Emma¡¯s shadow, and he proposed we change everything.

    Obviously, that hadn¡¯t happened. With everything that went down after that night, Ipletely forgot

    about it. Now, I wonder if that will even ever take ce.

    I shake myself from those thoughts. Right now, it doesn¡¯t even matter. Not when I was yet to make a

    decision.

    ¡°Mom, you can go and mingle with the rest; I¡¯ll call Noah down, and we¡¯ll invite the guests.¡±

    She nods her head before squeezing my hand and leaving. I quickly headed up the stairs and called an

    excited Noah. When we get down, we find Rowan standing near the door, waiting for us.

    ¡°Shouldn¡¯t you be at the back with everyone else?¡± I whisper just as another car enters our estate.

    Noah and I have always been the ones to wee his guests. Rowan had either been with them at the

    back or nowhere to be seen until the party began. I thought it would be the same this year.

    ¡°Not this year. This year, I¡¯m where I¡¯m supposed to be,¡± he whispers back. ¡°And I also apologize for

    being shitty these past years during Noah¡¯s birthday.¡±

    I¡¯m taken aback by his apology, but I don¡¯t let it show, nor do I respond. Mainly because the guests had

    already reached the door, so I didn¡¯t get a chance.

    The next forty or so minutes are spent weing visitors. Some I remember, some I don¡¯t. Of course,

    they all express their sorry for what happened to me. I didn¡¯t want to dwell on it, so I just thanked them

    and told them I¡¯m lucky to be alive.

 Chapter 339

    By the time we finished weing everyone, I was tired and exhausted, both physically and

    emotionally. Iris also chose that time to wake up, screaming her little lungs out.

    ¡°You go ahead; I¡¯ll go pick her up.¡± Rowan gives me a little push towards the backyard.

    Nodding my head, I head there to find the party in full bloom. Noah had abandoned us the moment

    some of his friends arrived.

    Adults were seated and eating, while the kids were running around. I spot Letty and Corrine and head

    towards them.

    ¡°Where are Travis and Gabe?¡± I ask them.

    Letty points in the opposite direction. ¡°Over there¡±

    They were talking to some men that I didn¡¯t recognize at all. If my hunch was correct, those two were

    probably busy striking a business deal or something.

    ¡°By the way, Reaper sent a gift,¡± Corrine says, surprising both me and Letty. ¡°He said he¡¯s sorry he

    couldn¡¯t make it because of circumstances, but once things cool down, he¡¯lle for a visit.¡±

    Well, it seemed things were progressing well between them if he was sending Corrine with gifts on his

    behalf.

    We continue chatting, and minutester, Rowan appears with Iris. She seemed calmer, and she wasn¡¯t

    crying at all.

    ¡°I¡¯ve fed her; do you want to take her?¡± he asks

    I nod my head, but the moment Rowan tries to put her in my arms, she screams her little lungs out

    while clutching his t¨Cshirt like it was a damn lifeline. The moment she¡¯s back in his arms, she calms

    down and stops crying.

    We try it again, and the same thing happens. In the end, we give up after the third try.

    ¡°Looks like you¡¯ve been reced,¡± Corrine says with a littleugh as I watch Rowan walk away with

    Iris.

    Damn it. It does something to my heart to watch him and Iris. He was smiling down at her and talking to

    her. She had him wrapped around her tiny little finger. Every woman in the vicinity except for Kate,

    mom, his mother, Letty, Corrine, and shockingly, Emma, were all staring at them with adoration in their

    eyes. I think he¡¯s managed to get them to fall in love with him.

    ¡°Hi Aunty Ava,¡± I¡¯m distracted as my eyes fall on a cute little boy who kind of reminded me of Emma.

    My eyes budge out when I realize who it is. I was told that Calvin and Emma had a kid and that he¡¯s

    Noah¡¯s best friend. I¡¯d yet to meet him because he was supposed to have a sleepover, but some things

    came up and he didn¡¯t get the chance.

    ¡°Gunner! How are you?¡± I ask in excitement.

    ¡°Sorry we arete; I had a project to finish.¡± I turn to look at Calvin. I remember him from the hospital.

    I¡¯d been so overwhelmed that I hadn¡¯t dwelt on him much.

    He did look like how I remembered him from high school, only more mature.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay, Calvin; the cake hasn¡¯t been cut, so you aren¡¯tte.¡±

    The rest of the girls greet him, and they start chatting. Letty had told me that we were all friends, so it¡¯s

    not surprising.

    Gunner surprises me by throwing himself at me, almost knocking me out of my seat.

    ¡°I missed you so, so much,¡± he cries, and I just hold him and try to calm him down. ¡°I don¡¯t want to ever

    lose you.¡±

    I feel touched, and my heart goes to him. It seems like we had a strong rtionship. I wonder how that

    came to be.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, sweetie, I¡¯m not going anywhere. Not for a long, long time,¡± I assure him while wiping

    away his tears.

    Once he¡¯s calmer, he kisses my cheek before leaving to find Noah and the rest of the kids.

    I feel burning eyes on me. I twist around trying to find whoever is looking at me, and that¡¯s when I spot.

    Emma.

    Even from this distance, I see the tears she¡¯s trying to fight. She¡¯s looking between me and Gunner,

    who has already found Noah, with nothing but pain and anguish.

 Chapter 340

    I try to pull my eyes away from hers, but it¡¯s difficult. Her pain is gripping, and I¡¯m the one it has a hold

    on.

    She¡¯s in a corner all by herself. Mother was busy socializing, and so was Trevor. Her posture and look

    weren¡¯t really inviting at all. She looked like she could shrink in on herself at any moment, but what

    disturbed me most was the anguish in her eyes. I understood pain; after all, haven¡¯t I been through it

    already? Countless times, in fact.

    Now I understand where her pain ising from. I understand the cause of her depressed and sad

    state. It¡¯s Gunner. Her son.

    ¡°What are you looking at, Ava?¡± Letty¡¯s voice sounds far away.

    It¡¯s like I was hypnotized. I couldn¡¯t look away. I couldn¡¯t see anything except her.

    Calvin shakes me, and with great difficulty, I turn to him. He looks at me questioningly. I didn¡¯t

    understand it, but for some weird reason, I wanted tofort Emma.

    ¡°Why are you staring at Emma like a deer caught in headlights?¡± Corrine asks, her eyebrows furrowed.

    I shifted my gaze back to the woman, but her eyes were no longer on me. Instead, they were firmly

    fixed on the table.

    ¡°Her pain¡­¡± I stammer the two words, unable toplete the sentence.

    ¡°I guess karma has finally caught up with her¡­ From what I hear, guilt and regret are hitting her hard,

    and she¡¯s not taking it well,¡± Letty informs us, her eyes drifting to Emma.

    I look at Calvin, but his expression is cold and stoic, revealing absolutely nothing. Either all the feelings

    he had for Emma are gone, or they¡¯ve turned to hate, or he¡¯s just hiding them. Burying them inside so

    that he doesn¡¯t have to feel that constant heartache.

    My eyes shift from him, then to her, and finally to Rowan. Rowan was busy chatting with Gabe, his dad,

    and some others. Trevor was there, but you could tell there was a bit of tension between the two of

    them. He wasughing, while Iris was securely wrapped in his arms.

    I wondered then how things would have turned out had I let go of my obsession with Rowan. Looking at

    it as a mature adult, could it be that my obsession ruined the lives of four people?

    Think about? If I hadn¡¯t stalked Rowan that night, none of the things that happened that night would

    have happened. I wouldn¡¯t have slept with Rowan, we wouldn¡¯t have gotten married, Rowan and Emma

    wouldn¡¯t have broken up, and neither Emma nor Rowan would have spiraled, meaning Emma wouldn¡¯t

    have hooked up with Calvin, and neither would she have strung him on for years.

    It would have been painful losing Rowan, but I think that probably I would have moved onter on and

    so would Calvin. Hell, I think he¡¯d already started moving on before he slept with Emma.

    Sighing I stand up. ¡°I¡¯ll be right back.¡± I excuse myself and leave the table.

    I go inside and just sit in the living room for a little while. The realization that I might have been the

    cause of the heartache and sorrow of four people is heavy on me. 2

    I get that everyone makes choices. That everyone has their own paths to follow. I perfectly understand

    that ultimately every choice Rowan, Calvin, and Emma made is on them and that it isn¡¯t my fault for the

    mistakes they made, but I still can¡¯t help but feel that I was the catalyst; my obsession was the catalyst

    for what led them down the paths they took.

    ¡°Are you okay, Ava?¡± Teresa¡¯s voice startles me, and I almost fall.

    ¡°Yes,¡± I lie. ¡°I¡¯m just lost in thought.¡±

    ¡°Okay then, it¡¯s time to cut the cake,¡± she informs me, and I stare at her in shock.

    Seriously, what time was it? Did I just leave my friends about five minutes ago?

    ¡°So soon?¡± I ask in confusion, ¡°Is everyone done eating?¡±

    She looks at me funny, but I ignore the look and stand up. Stretching, I try to release the tension from

    my aching bones.

    ¡°It¡¯s been more than an hour, Ava.¡±

    Well, that was surprising. I didn¡¯t think that I¡¯d be lost in thought for that long. It seemed like I¡¯d been

    gone for only about five or ten minutes max. I guess time rushes by fast when you¡¯re lost deep in your

    thoughts.

    ¡°Why did no one call me?¡± I ask as we begin walking towards the backdoor.

    ¡°We did want to, but Sir Rowan told us not to disturb you until it was time to cut the cake.¡± She answers

    warmly. ¡°He said this week has been hectic with nning, and you just needed a bit of time to

    yourself.¡±

    I nod, my heart feeling warmth towards him. I was starting to doubt things about whether we should

    really be together, but then he goes and does something like this. It may seem small and insignificant,

    but to me, it was huge. It showed his consideration for my needs. I wanted to be alone for a while, and

    he honored that.

 Chapter 341

    ¡°Noah, it¡¯s time to cut the cake.¡± I shout his name once I get outside.

    His head turns in my direction before he rushes towards me with a big smile on his mouth. A couple

    minutester, Rowan joins us after taking Iris from my parents.

    ¡°Happy birthday to you¡­¡± We all start singing, and I can tell that Noah is basking in the glory and

    attention.

    Once we are done, he blows out the candle, and joyous shouts ring out through the entire backyard,

    with the majority of the happy shoutsing from our families.

    Startled by the noise, Iris begins to cry, but she stops the moment both Rowan and Iy a kiss on her

    cheek. We didn¡¯t n it; it just happened, but it didn¡¯t stop the ¡®Aaaws¡® from our guests.

    ¡°Happy birthday, Noah. I love you very much. Always remember that.¡± I hug him tightly, and he

    reciprocates.

    ¡°I love you too, mom.¡±

    He then cuts the cake. I feed him a piece, and so does Rowan. Then he reciprocates by feeding us

    cake too. The cake is shared among the guests, and then soon it¡¯s time for Noah to open his gifts.

    Seeing him so happy, I realize that there is just no room for regrets. Gunner was standing next to him

    with a big smile on his face. it¡¯s then that it hits me. I don¡¯t know about Emma, but I know that neither

    Rowan and I nor Calvin would regret our kids, despite the pain and heartache we¡¯ve all been through.

    ¡°Hello, miss,¡± a tiny voice pulls me from my thoughts.

    I look down to find a cute little girl in a pink chiffon dress. She had an oval¨Cshaped face, pretty green

    eyes, tan skin, and red lips. She had sses on, and her pretty blonde hair was in pigtails. She

    immediately captured my heart.

    ¡°Yes, sweet heart.¡± I kneel down to her height.

    ¡°Are you Noah¡¯s mom?¡± she asks curiously, and I nod my head.

    ¡°You¡¯re really pretty,¡± she tells me, looking at me like I hung the moon and stars for her.

    ¡°Thank you, doll, and who are you, if I may may ask?¡±

    Her smile grows, and I can¡¯t get over how cute she is. She¡¯s sure going to be a head¨Cturner when she

    does grow up.

    ¡°I¡¯m Sierra, and I just wanted to let you know that I¡¯ll one day marry Noah.¡±

    I couldn¡¯t help but chuckle. So this is the girl who has my boy in a twist. I liked her though; she was

    straightforward and confident, and she wasn¡¯t afraid of speaking her mind. Characters that I admire and

    wish I had when I was younger.

    ¡°Is that so?¡± I tease.

    She nods her head. ¡°Yes. He says he doesn¡¯t like me; you see, he thinks I¡¯m weird because I like

    studying bugs and nts. I hope to be a biologist one day, but you¡¯ll see, I¡¯ll make him change his

    mind,¡± she tells me confidently.

    A light dims in me a bit. How do I exin to this charming little girl that you can¡¯t change a person¡¯s

    mind? Especially a man who doesn¡¯t fancy you?

    But weren¡¯t you able to change Rowan¡¯s mind?

    The question res at me. Yes, I may have been able to change his mind, but at what cost? Look at

    the pain and heartache I went through just to achieve that. Pain I¡¯m not really sure was worth it. I

    wouldn¡¯t want this kind of burden on such an innocent girl.

    Before I can say anything, though, Teresa rushes to me with a worried look on her face. I stand up.

    ¡°What is it?¡± I ask, my anxiety starting to rise.

    She leans in and whispers. ¡°There are policemen at the door, and they¡¯re looking for Emma.¡±

    Well, that can¡¯t be good.

    ¡°Go and inform Rowan and the others. Let me go see what this is about. Also, while we¡¯re dealing with

    it, please keep the kids outside and entertain the guests.¡±

    My heart was in my throat, worrying about what the cops would want with Emma. Rowan had dropped

    all charges, so she should be in the clear.

    ¡°Sierra, dear, something came up. I¡¯ll talk to you before you leave, okay?¡± I tell her hurriedly.

    ¡°Okay, Miss Ava.¡±

    After that, I rush and move through the house quickly. I find them standing in the living room.

    ¡°How can I help you, officers?¡± I ask as they turn to face me.

    ¡°We¡¯re looking for Emma Sharp; we were told that she might be here,¡± the tall, blonde one replies.

    ¡°Why are you looking for me?¡±

    At her voice, I turn to find Emma standing a few feet from me. Behind her were Trevor, Kate, Gabe, and

    Rowan.

    ¡°Are you Emma Sharp?¡± the other one asks.

    ¡°Yes¡±

    They move fast. So fast that I didn¡¯t see them until Emma was bent over the couch while her hands

    were being cuffed.

    ¡°Emma Sharp you¡¯re under arrest for attempted murder of Miss Ava Sharp.¡±

    Well, fuck. I did not see thating.

 Chapter 342

    I continue staring at the officers in shock. We all were. It¡¯s like we were all frozen, not believing what

    was going on.

    It wasn¡¯t until they were done cuffing her and had begun dragging her that Trevor and Kate unfroze and

    moved into action.

    ¡°What the hell? You got the wrong person!¡± Trevor shouted, but the cops just gave him a dirty stare.

    They stop and turn to look at him. Emma looked like she was in a dream. It¡¯s like she¡¯d detached

    somehow, and a look of unbelief was stered on her face.

    ¡°I¡¯m sure we didn¡¯t,¡± the blonde answered. ¡°She told us herself that she was Emma Sharp and that¡¯s

    who we were sent to arrest.¡±

    Emma didn¡¯t move, and she didn¡¯t struggle. She was frozen in ce, her eyes lost and confused. I get

    her, though. I was also confused as fuck. Why would they arrest her? Why would they think that she

    was responsible for my attempted murder?

    ¡°There has to be a mistake. Emma wouldn¡¯t try to kill Ava no matter their issues,¡± Kate pleads, but her

    pleas fall on deaf ears.

    ¡°We are just following orders, ma¡¯am,¡± the other cop said. ¡°I suggest you start looking for awyer.¡±

    They start dragging Emma away, with Travis and Kate shouting profanities at them. The rest of us are

    left there, stunned, andpletely out of it.

    It happened so fast, or was it so slow? I can¡¯t tell because I was having a hard time wrapping my head

    around everything that was happening. Emma couldn¡¯t be the one to order my shouting, could she?

    ¡°Why did none of you do anything?¡± Trevores back and shouts at the rest of us.

    ¡°And what were we supposed to do?¡± Gabe fires back.

    He was right. This was beyond us. This was something that none of us were prepared for. And what

    the hell did he expect us to do? Fight the police and get arrested too. We are a lot of things, but stupid

    isn¡¯t one of them.

    Trevor then turns and res at Rowan. It¡¯s only then that I realize that Iris isn¡¯t with him. He most likely

    left her with my parents or my friends.

    ¡°Is this your doing?¡± he grounds out with disgust coating his tone. ¡°You had her arrestedst time; I

    wouldn¡¯t be surprised if you¡¯re behind her arrest today.¡±

    ¡°I suggest you tread carefully, Trevor; I¡¯m not going to let you spill baseless bullshit while you¡¯re in my

    house.¡±

    Rowan¡¯s eyes turn cold and dangerous. He was pissed, and it wasn¡¯t hard to take a guess. Unlike

    Trevor, whose anger is all up in your face, Rowan¡¯s anger is different. Rowan¡¯s anger fills a room, and it

    always feels like a cold chill down your back.

    Katees back, crying. She was about to speak when Rowan¡¯s phone rang and interrupted what she

    was about to say.

    He excuses himself and answers. The duo, on the other hand, turned and left, not bothering to say

    anything to me or Gabe. When the door locks behind them, I sit down, already feeling a headache

    Five minutester, Rowanes back with a puzzled look on his face.

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Gabe asks him.

    I twist on the sofa so that I can get a good look at him. For some reason, I just felt that I wasn¡¯t going to

    like what he was about to tell us.

    ¡°Brian,¡± he begins and I look at him with confusion, not really knowing who that was. ¡°The chief of

    police called. He asked if we coulde by the station.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± I asked curiously.

    ¡°He didn¡¯t go into details because he said he¡¯d rather tell us in person, but it has something to do with

    your case and why Emma was arrested.¡±

 Chapter 343

    I nod my head, understanding why the call would have him on edge. I wanted to rush there as fast as I

    could, but we also had guests, and Noah¡¯s birthday was still in full st.

    ¡°Let¡¯s be done with Noah¡¯s party first, then we will go and meet with Brian,¡± I tell them, standing up.

    We all agree on that and head back to the party.

    I was right; Rowan had left Iris with my parents. I go to my friends who have worried looks on their

    faces.

    ¡°What¡¯s going on? And where are Emma, Trevor, and Kate?¡± Letty¡¯s eyes scan the area, probably

    looking for her boyfriend.

    ¡°Emma was arrested, so Trevor and Kate followed her to the station.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    Their shocked shout startled some kids who were ying near us. I sush them and then told them

    everything that had happened. Calvin still had the cold and detached look, whereas Corrine and Letty

    just looked stunned.

    ¡°Why would they think it¡¯s Emma?¡± Corrine poses the question that has been driving me insane since

    Emma was arrested.

    ¡°That¡¯s what I¡¯d like to know,¡± I replied. ¡°The cops just told us that their order was to arrest Emma. They

    didn¡¯t really give any other exnation.¡±

    We sit silently. Each of us was lost in our own thoughts. The party flies by quickly after that. It was a

    blur because all I could think about was Emma and what the chief of police wanted to tell us. I couldn¡¯t

    focus anymore on the party. Not even when Sierra came and chatted me up a little bit.

    Letty left earlier that intended, but I understood. She may not be Emma¡¯s biggest fan, but she had to be

    there for Trevor. She had been torn at first on whether to stay with me or go. I assured her that I was

    okay and pushed her to go be with Travis. 2

    When the party was finally over, I wanted to rush over to the station. We said our goodbyes to the

    guests and soon just friends and family remained.

    ¡°Mom, can Gunner stay over for the night?¡± Noah asked, his face still radiating happiness from the

    events of today.

    I turn to Calvin, silently asking if it was okay with him. When he nods, I face Noah and give him a small

    smile.

    ¡°Yeah, sure¡­ You two can have a sleepover.¡±

    They screech in happiness, before Noah grabs Gunner¡¯s hand and they rush up the stairs. A few

    minutester we hear his bedroom door opening then closing.

    ¡°Are you ready?¡± Noah asks. ¡°We can leave right now if you are.¡±

    My parents look at me in question, and it hits me that I didn¡¯t tell them what had happened. I give them

    and Rowan¡¯s parents a quick and short version.

    ¡°You guys go. We can stay here with the kids,¡± Rowan¡¯s mom says after I¡¯m done.

    Since everyone was okay with the idea, we left in different cars, but I drove with Rowan.

    ¡°Do you think she¡¯s guilty?¡± I asked after a while of driving.

    I was curious to hear his thoughts, but I also wanted to see his reaction. After all, this is the woman he

    once loved.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± he begins, side¨Ceyeing me before his eyes focus on the road. ¡°I mean, she did have

    motives, and it wasn¡¯t once or twice that you two had an altercation since she came back.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. I found out she verbally attacked you and warned you to stay away from me a few times. So

    yes, she may have done so. If it were Emma I knew, I would have disagreed, but the Emma that came

    back is different and capable of anything.¡±

    I kept quiet after that. I just didn¡¯t know what to believe. I mean, without my memory, I can¡¯t really tell

    what type of woman Emma became. Sure, there were two times after I woke up from mya when

    she was nasty to me, but did that trante to her wanting me dead?

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    Chapter 0344

    We get to the station, and my anxiety spikes up. I was a nervous wreck, not really sure I wanted to hear what Brian had to say.

    What was I going to do if she¡¯s really the one who was behind my attempted murder?

    Sure, we don¡¯t get along, but I¡¯ve known her since I was a child. We grew up together, and to me, she was my sister. We lived

    together in the same house until she graduated and moved to college.

    ¡°Are you okay?¡± Rowan asks, his concern marring his face.

    ¡°Just a bit nervous.¡±

    He held my hand before softly kissing me. I don¡¯t stop because I needed this. I needed him. ¡°Everything is going to be okay;

    don¡¯t stress.¡± He assured me after pulling away.

    I nod my head, and we get out of the car. My hand still in his, we walk towards the station and enter. The rest soon join us, and

    we are ushered to the chief of police¡¯s office.

    ¡°Thank you foring,¡± he says as a way of greeting. He points to the two chairs. Mom and I take a seat as the men stand

    behind us.

    ¡°You said you had something important to tell us,¡± Rowan pushes.

    ¡°Just a second,¡± he says, holding his finger up, which seems to irritate Rowan.

    A couple of minutester, the door opens and Trevor, Kate and Letty walk in. The officer who showed them leaves, shutting the

    door behind him.

    ¡°Why was my daughter arrested?¡± Kate demands. You can tell she¡¯s been crying. Her eyes were red and puffy.

    ¡°That¡¯s why I called all of you here,¡± Brian begins. ¡°We have evidence that Emma was indeed behind the attack on Ava.¡±

    Trevor is quick to defend. ¡°That¡¯s impossible. Emma would never hurt Ava.¡±

    ¡°Miss Ava seemed to believe that she would.¡± Brian drops the bomb, and everyone turns to look at me with questioning gazes.

    I shrink in my chair, hating that all eyes are on me. I hated it when attention was on me.

    ¡°Why would you say that?¡± For some reason, my voice was trembling.

    ¡°I¡¯m aware that you have amnesia, but when your attack started happening, especially after your car was bombed, I questioned

    you on who would most likely have beef with you. You didn¡¯t hesitate to mention Emma. You suspected that she¡¯s the one who

    tried killing you.¡±

    I remain quiet. I can see why I would think of Emma. From what I''ve gathered, Emma didn''t like it very much that Rowan was paying me more attention than her. She didn''t want me around Rowan, and she saw me aspetition.

    Trevor and Kate were about to argue, but Brian cut them off.

    "We were able to recover the gun that was used to shoot Ava and the van. We decided to look for fingerprints and do a match. The fingerprints matched Emma''s." He pauses, letting us absorb the bomb he''s just released. "On top of that, there were civilian clothes that also had Emma''s hair. We believe they were the clothes she''d worn that day. She probably disposed of the ck clothes she''d worn when she hot you, but forgot those."

    Everyone in the room was dumbfounded. The silence that descended in the room was heavy. You could probably hear a pin drop.

    The evidence was clear and damning, but why the hell was my heart telling me that she''s innocent?

 Chapter 345

    Chapter 345

    | didn¡¯t sleep wellst night, and it shows in the way | look this morning. | am exhausted, both mentally and physically. Rowan

    and | haven¡¯t slept in the same bed since the night of our date. For the first time since then, I¡¯d been tempted to invite him after

    we came home from the police station.

    | walk slowly to the kitchen. It was still early, and | was probably the only one that was awake. | needed coffee ASAP because |

    had to take Gunner back. Calvin said he would be busy and might not be able to pick him up, so | offered to drop him off.

    Yawning, | cross the threshold to the kitchen but stop dead in my tracks. Rowan was seated at the kitchen ind with a steaming

    cup.

    He turns when he hears me, and our eyes sh.

    ¡°You couldn''t sleep?¡± he asks, standing up.

    | just nod my head as | watch him open the cupboard to get another cup. Without my asking, he pours me coffee from the pot.

    ¡°| thought | was the only one awake,¡± | mutter as | take a seat next to me.

    ¡°Nope¡±

    Even now, my mind is still ying everything Brian told us. The evidence was incriminating. There was no way to prove

    otherwise. Brian told us that they would begin trial immediately, and with how things looked, Emma faced thirty to fifty years in

    prison.

    Something about that bothered me. | couldn¡¯t ce it. It was in the back of my mind, but just out of reach.

    ¡°Is it about Emma?¡± Rowan asks, pulling me from my thoughts.

    | take a sip, trying to clear my head with the caffeine. ¡°Yes. | can¡¯t get everything we learned out of my mind.¡±

    He nods his head. ¡°Fuck. It¡¯s so unbelievable. | never thought she would go that far, but thinking about it now, maybe | just didn¡¯t

    know her as well as | thought.¡±

    His voice turns cold, and his eyes be dangerous. | know Rowan, and right now, | know he¡¯s thinking of ways to avenge me.

    It''s like he¡¯s forgotten the history he and Emma shared.

    Being on Rowan¡¯s shit list is simr to being dead. He¡¯ll destroy you and make sure there¡¯s nothing left. | know this because |

    was his enemy once, and | wouldn¡¯t wish it on anyone. So many times | thought of just packing and running away because of

    everything he put me through.

    If indeed Emma is guilty, | feel sorry for her because what she went through in prison would be nothing but a taste. It will seem

    like a fairytalepared to what wille next.

    ¡°| don¡¯t believe she did it,¡± | murmured, staring at the steaming ck liquid before looking up at Rowan.

    His gaze shows surprise. ¡°What? Brian showed us the fucking evidence, Ava.¡±.

    ¡°| know, but my gut tells me that she¡¯s innocent. | can¡¯t exin, and | should be the one at the forefront, demanding, but | just

    don¡¯t believe the evidence. Emma may be a lot of things, but a killer isn¡¯t one of them.¡±

    His gaze continues to search mine, as if he thinks I¡¯ve just lost my damn mind. Maybe | have, but it doesn¡¯t change the fact that |

    believe Emma is innocent.

    ¡°How can you be sure?¡± he asks, his brows pulled down in a frown.¡± This is the woman who has schemed, lied, and threatened

    since she came back. How sure are you that in her fucking quest to get me back she didn¡¯t think of eliminating you because you

    were a threat?¡±

    His question makes pretty good sense. All | have is a gut feeling. That is not enough... And what if he is right? What if what

    makes me think she¡¯s innocent is a familial bond? | mean, we¡¯ve been estranged, but before that, we were family, even though

    we didn¡¯t get along.

    Sighing, | take a sip of my coffee. | don¡¯t know how to exin it to him. Rowan is one of those people who trusts facts. Without

    evidence, | won''t be able to sway him. Without evidence, | won''t be able to sway anyone.

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    Chapter 346

    Chapter 0346

    ¡°| can¡¯t be sure, but trust me,¡± | finally answer him. ¡°My instincts are never wrong.¡±

    He looks unsure at first until he wipes schools his features, and wipes the look from his face. He then stands up andes to

    stand next to me. Before | can understand what he¡¯s doing, he gives me a quick kiss and then immediately pulls

    away.

    ¡°Fine,¡± he begins. ¡°I''ll trust you, but if it turns out your wrong, I''ll make her pay for hurting you.¡±

    There is finality in his tone, apanied by something utterly dangerous.

    | ept thepromise. ¡°Okay, but you''ll see I¡¯m not wrong on this.¡±

    He doesn¡¯t say anything; he just kisses my forehead and then goes back to his coffee. We talk a bit longer. Nothing important in

    particr, but it felt good.

    Talking to him and being in hispany, it all felt good. It was like being home after a long day of work. | loved Rowan, and | was

    finally getting what I''d always prayed for. How then could | think of letting him go? How can | refuse to grab this chance with both

    hands?

    Not many people get a second chance at love. Not many women get to see their wayward husbands change. He¡¯s hurt me, but |

    need to let the past go. | think at this point in our lives, we¡¯ve both learned our lessons.

    We didn¡¯t even realize we had talked long until Noah and Gunner walked into the kitchen. Noah was holding Iris, who was

    silently crying.

    ¡°Did she wake you?¡± | ask after greeting them and taking Iris from him.

    ¡°No,¡± he answers, yawning. ¡°We wereing down for breakfast when we heard a small cry from her room.¡±

    | wrap her in the throw nket | came down with and feed her. Rowan doesn¡¯t have a problem with me breastfeeding, but Noah

    has. He can¡¯t stand the sight of my boobs. Both Rowan and | find it funny, but | try to cover up when he¡¯s around so he doesn¡¯t

    get ufortable.

    After breakfast, | shower and get ready. It was on a Sunday, so Rowan and Noah would be home. | nned to leave Iris with

    them as | dropped off Gunner.

    ¡°You ready, sweetie?¡± | asked Gunner while putting on my shoes.

    1/2

    ¡°Yes, Auntie Ava.¡±

    After he says goodbye to Rowan and Noah, we leave. Today | was driving, but I.. still had a bodyguard trailing me just in case

    something happened.

    ¡°So, did you like your stay with us?¡±

    Abroad smile covers his mouth. ¡°Definitely. | missed you so much, and | missed having sleepovers with Noah. It feels good to

    have that again.¡±

    From the way he was talking, it was something that happened on a regr basis. | didn¡¯t mind, though, because Gunner is a

    sweet boy, and he already has a ce in my heart.

    He then goes to tell me everything that I¡¯ve missed. | pay attention to him, but | can¡¯t help thinking about Emma.

    | feel like someone is trying to frame her, but who? And why? Is it because she¡¯s the only one to most likely have a motive? Or

    was it something else?

    ¡°We''re here, Auntie Ava.¡± Gunner¡¯s voice pulls me back to the present. | had not even realized that we¡¯d arrived.

    | park the car, and we get out. He runs ahead of me while | walk slowly, trying to put my head and thoughts in order.

    The house next to theirs catches my attention. It seemed so familiar, yet | don¡¯t know where I''d seen it. For some reason, | also

    wanted to get inside it. It was really bizarre that | would want to get into a total stranger¡¯s house.

    ¡°Dad!¡± Gunner screams, entering the house.

    ¡°In the kitchen!¡± Calvin shouts back.

    | follow Gunner as he runs towards what | presume is the kitchen. We find Calvin with a mug of coffee, aptop, and a bunch of

    papers, and he is wearing sses. | didn¡¯t know he still wore those.

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    Chapter 347

    ¡°Morning,¡± | greet, standing at the kitchen entrance.

    Gunner rushes and hugs his father while telling him about the wonderful time he and Noah had at our house.

    ¡°Good Morning, Ava.¡±

    | chuckle. He was trying to multitask. He was attending to me while listening to his son and still trying to do his work.

    ¡°Is this too early?¡± | ask him. ¡°I can go back with him so that you can finish your work without interruption¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s okay, but thank you. I¡¯m almost done,¡± he replies. ¡°Plus, today is Sunday; we have a thing on Sundays.¡±

    | smile and nod. | was just about to excuse myself when the house next door caught my attention again. Calvin¡¯s kitchen was

    facing the house¡¯s backyard.

    ¡°Calvin?¡± | call, and he looks up.

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°Whose house is that? | don¡¯t understand why I¡¯m drawn to it¡±

    He twists his neck and looks behind him to where | was pointing. Then he turns again to face me.

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s your house, Ava.¡±

    | stand there, rooted. My house? How can that be? But then again, didn¡¯t Rowan tell me we had separated for some time? If so,

    maybe this is where | was probably staying.

    ¡°Is everything okay?¡± he inquires with concern.

    | shift my eyes to his face. ¡°I would like to take a look; who has the keys?¡±

    He studied me for a while, as if he were trying to unravel something. My eyes keep shifting from him to the house. | don¡¯t know

    why it has a grip on me or why the need to go in there is consuming.

    ¡°| have a spare key. You gave it to me before your ident.¡± He stands up and, in a drawer, retrieves a single key.

    ¡°Thank you,¡± | whisper once he ces it on my palm.

    | walk out robotically after letting him know that I''d be by to say goodbye to him and Gunner once | was done.

    | get there in a blur, and | open the door. It was dusty, but tolerable. | close the door behind me and begin walking. Nothing rings

    a bell as | walk through the house, but for some reason my mind knew exactly where it wanted to lead me.

    | find myself in what | assume is my bedroom. It was big, spacious, and decorated in the style that | love. | immediately started

    going through things, trying to get a hint of who | had been before my ident.

    There were still clothes and shoes in the closet. All of them are modern and in my style. Next, | went to the drawers and

    searched through all the things, which reinforced that this was indeed where | lived, and by the looks of it, | had lived

    here for months.

    | was about to give up because | had yet to find any useful information when | got to thest drawer. Opening it, | found a

    document. | quickly took it and opened the folder. O

    The words DIVORCED greeted me.

    What the actual hell?

    I scan the papers, and that¡¯s when it hits me. Rowan and | were divorced. We weren¡¯t separated, like he¡¯d told me. He¡¯d lied to

    me. 2

    Swaying, | started feeling dizzy as the words DIVORCED kept ying in my mind. The papers slip through my hands as a

    memory takes hold. It was the day I went to give him the finalized documents of our divorce.

    The memory doesn¡¯t stop there; it¡¯s like that one word triggered the crack in the wall that held my memories back. The crack gets

    bigger and bigger as pain like no other attacks me. Years and years of memory flood my brain as the pain

    intensifies.

    4

    Finally, the wall breaks, leaving a crumbled mess, and I... | lose myself to the darkness.

 Chapter 348

    Chapter 348

    Chapter 0348

    Rowan.

    | stare at my nkptop screen, not really in the mood to work. Noah was piaying video games, and Iris was sleeping. It¡¯s been

    a while since Ava left to drop off Gunner; she should be back by now.

    Since her shootout, my worry for her has been constant. | can¡¯t get rid of the fear that engulfs me every time she¡¯s outside. | can¡¯t

    get over the fear that I''ll lose her to death. | almost did once, and that has left it¡¯s mark on me.

    I''ll do anything to make sure she¡¯s safe. Including sending the one that hurt her to a ce where she won''t ever be able to hurt

    Ava again.

    Sighing | stand up. The other thing that bothered me was Ava¡¯s revtion today. | don¡¯t understand why and how she believes

    that Emma is innocent. | realized it toote, but Emma has been after Ava since she noticed that my feelings for Ava had

    changed.

    Like | said, | could vouch for the Emma | fell in love with when we were teenagers, but not for the woman she¡¯s be. There

    are so many things that have pointed out that Emma has be something different.

    | mean,e one. She denied her own flesh and blood, hid him and the fact that she¡¯s his mother, and went on with life like

    Gunner didn¡¯t exist. If she could do that, do you honestly think that killing someone to get her out of the way is above her? | don¡¯t

    think so. | know Ava wants to believe that Emma is innocent, but |

    don''t.

    | turn and look at my desk when my phone rings. | pick it up, but I¡¯m disappointed that it¡¯s not Ava¡¯s name shing on the screen.

    This morning has been amazing. Just sitting with her and talking made it one of my favorite things to do in the morning. Seeing

    that she was receptive and not distant, I¡¯d wanted to spend the rest of the day with her and our kids.

    ¡°Hello.¡± My voice is gruff, even for my own years.

    ¡°It''s me¡±

    He didn¡¯t have to tell me who he was; | already knew. Don¡¯t get me wrong, | still don¡¯t like Reaper, but for some reason I¡¯ve

    grown closer to him these past couple of months. | would go as far as to say | trusted him, but let''s fucking not.

    ¡°| know that, Reaper.¡±

    1/2

    He just chuckles.

    Every week, he asks me to send him a picture of Iris. He may not be here for her. now, but it¡¯s obvious the cold bastard loved his

    niece dearly.

    ¡°Did you check it out?¡± | asked after a while.

    I

    take my seat and wait for him to answer. He doesn¡¯t wait long. His answer, though, makes me tense because | know that Ava will

    be so disappointed.

    ¡°Everything Brian said checks out.¡± He says roughly:. ¡°The DNA report and Emma¡¯s clothes. It looks like Emma is the one we

    have been searching for.

    How the hell was | going to break this news to Ava? She was fucking convinced that Emma was innocent. | had my doubts, but I

    told her I trusted her, even though deep inside | knew she was wrong.

    ¡°I''ve got to give it to the bitch; she knew how to cover her tracks,¡± Reaper adds. Months and months of searching, yet she was

    hiding right under our fucking noses.¡±

    ¡°I still can¡¯t believe that she fucking fooled us.¡± My anger was rising, and | was doing my hardest to stamp it down.

    ¡°You realize that I¡¯m going to make her pay, right? You won''t be able to stop me.¡±

    At first, | was confused-that is, until | realized he said it because he thought | would stop him because of the history Emma and |

    shared.

    |ugh at that. | couldn¡¯t fucking help it.

    ¡°Do what you have to, Reaper. In fact, I¡¯ll give her my own version of

    punishment,¡± | dered as ideas on how I''ll make Emma pay start popping in my head.

    She was going to wish that she¡¯d never crossed me or ever hurt Ava. There¡¯s no fucking way I''ll let her get away with what she

    did to Ava. | nearly lost Ava because of her.

 Chapter 349

    Chapter 349

    ¡°I''m surprised, but also impressed.¡± Reaper says, and | swear | could hear the amusement in his voice. ¡°Everyone talked about

    how much you loved her; | didn¡¯t think you''d ever hurt her, especially for Ava.¡±

    ¡°People don¡¯t know shit.¡±

    It''s as | said that it finally hit me. My love for Emma waspletely gone. It was dead, and maybe it has been for a long time

    now. What I feel for Ava is stronger.

    Looking back, | was infatuated with Emma and the idea of love. Plus, everyone used to say that we belonged together. That we

    were perfect together. | think that went to my head. | heard it said so much when we were younger that maybe it brainwashed me

    into thinking that it was the truth.

    Everyone wanted us together, including our mothers, who pushed us to always be around each other. What if what | thought was

    love was nothing but an idea nted in our heads by our mothers? A fantasy they had no business pushing on

    1. us.

    If it wasn¡¯t for the constant pushing, would we have gotten together? Would we have started dating? The answer is probably a

    big fucking NO.

    ¡°Rowan, are you still there?¡±

    | shake my head against the thoughts. None of that mattered. What matters is what | feel for Ava, and it¡¯s bigger, stronger, and

    more than I¡¯ve ever felt for Emma.

    ¡°Yeah, | just got lost in thoughts for a minute,¡± | reply

    ¡°Right,¡± he says, drugs the words out. ¡°I¡¯ve got shit to do; I''ll talk to youter.¡±

    ¡°Sure¡±

    It wasn¡¯t even ten minutes after we hung up that | got another phone call. | don¡¯t recognize the number, but | pick it up anyway.

    ¡°Rowan, it¡¯s Calvin.¡± I¡¯m surprised, but the urgency in his voice catches my

    attention.

    ¡°What happened?¡±

    ¡°It''s Ava; she¡¯s unconscious.¡±

    | don¡¯t wait for him to finish his sentence. | hang up the phone and rush out of the door. | could hear Noah calling me, but right

    now my mind was fully focused

    My heart was gripped in a tight fist as scenario after scenario of the worst yed in my mind. I¡¯m not afraid of admitting that |

    was fucking scared.

    The drive is a blur, and without even realizing it, | arrive at Calvin¡¯s home. | pull out my number and dial his number.

    ¡°Where are you?¡± | asked immediately, not caring to conceal my fear.

    ¡°At Ava''s old house.¡±

    I rush there and find the door open.

    ¡°In here,¡± Calvin¡¯s voice calls out.

    | move quickly and climb up the stairs. | head on over to the master bedroom to find him seated at the edge of the bed, with Ava

    lying unconscious.

    ¡°What the fuck happened?¡± | yelled, crossing the short distance towards Ava. She was so still, and that fucking scared me.

    ¡°| don¡¯t fucking know. She asked

    the house, and | told her it was hers. Then

    she asked for a key, and | gave it to her. It¡¯s only after about forty minutes that I

    She''d said she would pass by to say

    realized that she hadn''t been back be goodbye. | came to check on her and found her 2dr ?

    on the floor, unconscious.¡±

    After his exnation, | ignored him. My focus is wholly on Ava.

    | try calling her name, but she doesn¡¯t wholly on Ava.

    le wound, but that couldn¡¯t be said about internal

    respond. My fear spikes even more at that.

    There wasn¡¯t any

    damaged.

    | pull out my phone about to call an ambnce. | don¡¯t understand why Calvin

    hadn''t done that in the fo

    fucking ce.

    The operator had just picked up when Ava¡¯ upright with a gasp.

    open and she bolted

    a few calming breaths, her eyes

    | hang up the phone and stare at Ava. Afte turned to me, and they were liquid fire. She was way beyond pissed. If she could get

    away with murder, | would be long dead.

    sheel

    ¡°You fucking lied to me!¡± she screams, getting up from the bed. ¡°We are divorced!¡±

    Fuck. | knew this day woulde, b

    | was still not prepared for her

    anger.

 Chapter 350

    Chapter 350

    Ava.

    My memories havee back, and

    understatement. | was beyond angry. / nat I¡¯m pissed off would be an

    yell ero

    was furious.

    ¡°You lied to me!¡± | yelled at Rowan, my hand pping his chest. It was simr to hitting a brick wall, but | didn¡¯t care. ¡°You fucking

    lied to me, you bastard. For months. Months, Rowan¡±

    The knowledge that my memories are back dawns on him. Fear fills his eyes, and at first I¡¯m surprised since Rowan has never

    shown fear, but then | remember that | was angry at him.

    ¡°I need to leave. Thereed to be,¡± | say without really addressing

    | search the room, and whe

    anyone in patar.

    and when | spot my car keys, | grab them. | was about to leave

    when Rowan grabbed my hand and stopped me.

    ¡°You can¡¯t leave. | have to take you to a hospital; you fainted, Ava. You need to see a doctor.¡± His eyes are soft as he pleads with

    me.

    ¡°Let go of me, Rowan,¡¯

    me, Rowan,¡± | hold.

    Cand. | try to shake his hand, but he tightens his

    ¡°| won''t fucking tell you twice, Rowan.¡±

    ¡°Please,¡± he begs, but I¡¯m so done with him.

    | twist my body, and using my right hand, | punch him right in the face. | feel a kind of sick satisfaction when | hear his nose

    break. Since he wasn¡¯t expecting my punch, he released me, his face showing a mask of shock.

    ¡°ll deal with youter,¡± | tell him, the warning in my vo

    voice clear.

    Without another nce, | leave. Only when | was leaving the room did | notice Calvin standing near the bed. | don¡¯t tell him

    anything either. He also fooled me. In fact, everyone fucking lied to me, but | wasn¡¯t as pissed off with them as | was with Rowan.

    Jumping into my car, | crank it up and speed out of there.

    The memories that had been forgotten and the new ones that | made all mesh and be one. My head is pounding, but |

    know that I need to do this. | needed to get this out of the

    1/3

    +15 BONOS

    As the lies Rowan told me are exposed, | be even angrier. | don¡¯t know why I¡¯m surprised. This is Rowan we are talking

    about. He is the king of grabbing opportunities and bending them to his will and desire. | should have seen thising, but

    hindsight is a fucking bitch.

    | yed right into his game. | was a fucking fool; | don¡¯t know how | didn¡¯t read the signs. Correction: | did read the signs. | knew

    he was lying. Keeping things from me, yet | turned a blind eye because | wanted the fucking fairytale he painted.

    At this point, | don¡¯t know whether to cry or be impressed by the lengths he took to have me.

    | don¡¯t know how | get to the station, but | do. | was so distraught and so fucking angry that it¡¯s a wonder that | didn¡¯t get into an

    ident.

    Pushing thoughts of my current state aside, | focused on what | needed to do. Everything that happened a few minutes ago

    could wait until | was done, then | was going to deal with Rowan for lying to me.

    ¡°Is the chief here?¡± | ask the first officer | find.

    He stares at me with pulled brows. | probably looked like a fucking mess, but | wouldn¡¯t dwell on that unimportant detail.

    ¡°No, he¡¯s not. He¡¯s not supposed toe in today,¡± he answers respectfully.

    | refuse to take no for an answer. ¡°Call him; | need to talk to him.¡±

    ¡°| can¡¯t do that, ma¡¯am. Today is his day off.¡¯

    The more | stood here, the angrier | got. If it wasn¡¯t already enough that | was pissed off, now this officer wanted to make things

    much worse.

    ¡°Tell him it¡¯s Ava Sharp, I¡¯m sure he¡¯d want to hear from me¡±

    ¡°I''m sorry ma¡¯am but | can¡¯t¡±

    Right then, my anger explodes. | bang on the table, making everyone turn to look

    at me.

    ¡°You call him right fucking now or | fucking swear on your skinny ass, I''ll shut this fucking station down. Don¡¯t fucking mess with

    me.¡± | ground through a clenched jaw. ¡°I¡¯ve had a long day, and you don¡¯t want to fucking add to it. Now call the damn chief of

    officers before | lose the little patience | have left.¡±

    He must have seen something in my eyes because he scrambled to grab the phone. | leave him as he talks to Brian while | take

    a seat. My head was killing me,

    | tap my feet on the ground in impatience as | wait for him to arrive.

    It doesn¡¯t take him long to arrive. | slowly get up when he walks into the station, mainly because | am dizzy as fuck.

    ¡°Are you okay, Ava?¡± Brian asks, gently grabbing my hand to support me.

    ¡°Yes... Just had a long day,¡± | reply, brushing off his question. ¡°Can we talk?¡±

    He nods his head and leads me to his officer.

    After sitting down, he turned to me. ¡°What did you want to talk about?¡±

    ¡°| want you to release Emma.¡± | get straight to the point.

    He looks at me in shock, like he can¡¯t believe what I¡¯ve just asked him to do.

    ¡°Why in the hell would | do that?¡± he asks, puzzled.

    ¡°Because | got my memory back,¡± | say, taking a deep breath. ¡°Before | cked out, | saw the person who shot me. It wasn¡¯t

    Emma.¡±

 Chapter 351

    Chapter 351

    Chapter 0351

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± he asks, clearly not believing what | was saying.

    Before | could answer, a knock on the door interrupted. Brian excuses himself and goes to open the door. For some reason, I¡¯m

    not surprised when Rowan walks into the room.

    ¡°You''re just in time, Rowan,¡± Brian tells him. ¡°Ava was just about to tell me who she thinks shot her. She believes it isn¡¯t Emma,

    as the evidence clearly states.¡±

    Rowan doesn¡¯t say anything; he just turns and looks at me. In turn, | re at him. | was still pretty angry, but slowly my anger

    was starting to fade.

    ¡°Look¡± | begin. ¡°It¡¯s not a matter of belief but of proof. | saw who shot me, and it¡¯s not Emma. In fact, | believe she¡¯s using Emma

    as a scapegoat.¡±

    Rowan studies me before speaking: ¡°You remembered something.¡± He says it more like a statement than a question.

    | simply nod my head. Something flutters inside my heart. How did he read me so well? | didn¡¯t even have to tell him anything.

    He just knew.

    ¡°Who was it?¡± Rowan asks almost in a pleading voice.

    (

    ¡°Christine.¡± | breathe out, still trying toe to terms with the revtion. Right before | cked out, she lowered her mask a

    little. Her triumphant and evil smirk is something | will never forget.¡±

    There is a moment of silence. Both Rowan and Brian have unreadable masks on, but | can tell that this new development has

    taken me by surprise.

    ¡°Are you sure?¡± Brian asks after a while.

    | know for him, it''s hard to believe. Every evidence was pointing towards Emma. Every line was pointing at her. Of course, it

    would be difficult for him to believe otherwise.

    ¡°Yes. | mean, think about it: there is no one in this world that hates me as much as Christine. She¡¯s wanted Rowan for a long

    time, but Rowan never paid attention to her and never took her as a mistress.¡±

    Rowan res at me for that. As much as he wanted to deny and ignore that fact, it was ring. Christine wanted him, and she

    didn¡¯t mind, even if he took her as a mistress. As long as he took her.

    ¡°That¡¯s one thing she¡¯s always been bitter about. She couldn¡¯t understand why,

    than taking her as a mistress. We''ve had a few altercations, and it wasn¡¯t once or twice that she threatened to make me pay.

    Especially after Rowan fired her because of her treatment of me.¡±

    Thinking about it, every interaction I¡¯ve had with Christine has left me with chills and a deep sense of foreboding. The woman

    was batshit crazy. | don¡¯t know how nobody ever saw that before.

    Rowan was about to say something, but | interrupted him. | needed to finish this quick so | could go home and take a long

    fucking nap.

    ¡°Like | told Rowan, Emma might be a lot of things, but a killer isn¡¯t one of them. | knew that from the moment you arrested her.

    The issue kept bugging me, and for some reason my mind knew that she¡¯s innocent. | didn¡¯t understand why | believed so until |

    got my memories back this morning.¡±

    ¡°| don¡¯t doubt you now, but the big question is: how did Emma''s fingerprints get

    you?¡± Brian asks no one in particr.

    on the weapon that almost c

    I''d already figured that out, so | don¡¯t waste any time exining things.

    ¡°The moment Emma came back, Christine befriended her. Of course they bonded over their mutual hate for me, but | believe

    that Christine had an agenda. Their friendship might be how she was able to frame Emma, but in order to confirm that, you''ll

    need to call Emma in.¡±

    I can see the reluctance in his gaze. Finally, he sags in defeat before picking up his phone and making a call. He requests for

    Emma to be brought in before hanging up.

    We remain in silence until the door opens and Emma walks in, an officer trailing behind her. She looks worse for wear. This is the

    worst I¡¯ve ever seen, Emma. She looked broken and lost. Like someone who¡¯d lost everything and every will to live.

    Seeing her like this leaves me feeling like a tight fist is squeezing my heart. The woman standing before me was a shadow of the

    girl | used to know. That knowledge broke something inside me.

    ¡°Are you okay?¡± | don¡¯t know what pushes me to grab her hand and squeeze in

    comfort.

    She looks at me, shocked and confused, before tears start filling her eyes. She doesn¡¯t say anything, but she squeezes my hand

    back.

    ¡°Emma, Ava believes you''re innocent, but | need more information before | can release you,¡± Brian informs her, and her eyes

    widen in shock.

    ¡°I need you to think really hard, Emma, because this is important, okay?¡± | tell her, and she nods her head.

    Right now, she reminds me of a lost little girl.

    ¡°Christine is behind my shooting, and | believe she framed you because she knew that you would probably be the first suspect

    because of our issues.¡±

    ¡°W-what?¡±

    ¡°Now | need to know: is it possible that Christine may have had ess to your clothes?¡± | ask gently, shaking her. She¡¯d gotten

    lost in thought.

    ¡°Yes,¡± she answered. ¡°She has a key to my apartment. We used to hang out sometimes.¡±

    Brian takes over. ¡°Good... and is there a way that you might have touched a gun she gave you?¡±

    She thinks for a while, and she¡¯d just begun shaking her head in denial when she stops.

    ¡°Oh my god,¡± she breathes in disbelief. ¡°That fucking bitch¡±

    ¡°Im assuming you remembered something?¡± Rowan pushes.

    She nods her head. ¡°There¡¯s this one time a few weeks ago, | think, when she invited me to her family ranch as a way to help me

    get out of my head. She was giving me a tour of the house when we came across a ss case full of guns. She told me that her

    family loved hunting. She asked me if | would like to hold a gun. loved the guns during the time we were practicing shooting, so |

    agreed. She wore white clothes and pulled a gun out of the case. | was too lost in my sad and depressed state to notice anything

    weird or to question why she wore gloves yet let me hold the gun without a pair.¡±

    Damn. Christine was a clever bitch. She knew exactly what she was doing. She knew what she wanted when she invited Emma

    to that so-called ranch.

    ¡°Can you describe to me the gun she gave you?¡± Brian turns to her, his eyes shining with expectancy.

    Without missing a beat, she describes the gun that she was given. When she is done, we all turn to Brian.

    Sighing, he looks to the ceiling before facing us. ¡°It seems you are right, Ava. The gun she described is the exact same one that

    was used to shoot you. Only me and two of my officers know the model of gun that was used. Emma was able to describe,

    meaning she¡¯s innocent, and we need to catch this Christine before she

 Chapter 352

    Chapter 352

    | sigh in relief. Finally, | was able to prove that Emma isn¡¯t as evil as others believed. My head was killing me, and | just wanted

    to sleep. o

    ¡°Are we done now?¡± | asked Brian. ¡°Can | leave? And can she be released?¡±

    ¡°Yes. As for Emma, she''ll have to wait a little bit in order for us to process her release papers, but you can leave. | can tell you¡¯re

    tired.¡±

    He had no idea just how much he was right. | felt like my damn head was about to explode and leave tiny brain stters

    everywhere.

    ¡°Come, I''ll take you to the hospital first.¡± Rowan rises up and gives me his hand. | am hesitant at first, but | ce my hand in his.

    ¡°| don¡¯t want to go to the hospital, Rowan. | want to go home and rest.¡±

    He was about to argue when Emma interrupted in a timid voice. It was so unlike her. The changes that she¡¯d undergone kept

    surprising. Emma isn¡¯t the same girl who ran away from her heartbreak years ago. She also isn¡¯t the same woman who came

    back yearster. This new version of her just seemed defeated and lost.

    ¡°Can | please talk to Ava privately?¡± She finally asks.

    Rowan turns to me, and | nod my head. | was interested in knowing what she wanted to talk about. Let¡¯s just say my curiosity got

    the better of me.

    They walk out, and soon it¡¯s just me and Emma. It feels kind of weird, given that we haven''t exactly seen eye-to-eye since she

    came back.

    ¡°| just wanted to thank you, Ava. You didn¡¯t have to; you could have believed | was guilty just like everyone else, yet you didn¡¯t. I¡¯ll

    always be grateful for what you''ve done for me today. | know if it wasn¡¯t for you, | would have probably gone to prison,¡± she

    finally says after a while.

    ¡°It''s nothing, Emma. | was just doing the right thing. You didn¡¯t deserve to go to prison for something you didn¡¯t do.¡±

    ¡°You don''t get it; it¡¯s not nothing,¡± she announces fiercely, standing up. ¡°After everything I¡¯ve done to you since | came back, you

    could have hidden that information. You could have pretended like you didn¡¯t know the truth. You could have kept quiet about

    your discovery, yet you didn¡¯t. So | thank you for that.¡±

    | get what she was saying. If | were a malicious person, | would have done the same, but with my memory backes the

    remembrance of that day she took a bullet for me. She didn¡¯t have to, but she did anyway.

    1/3

    Instead of arguing, | just nod my head. | guess we are now even.

    ¡°| also wanted to say I¡¯m sorry.¡± Now that shocks me, stupid. | didn¡¯t expect that.. ¡°I¡¯m sorry for everything | put you through since

    coming back. The threats, snide remarks, and being an overall bitch. | just hated you so much, but more than that, | was jealous

    of you. You had Rowan¡¯s attention without even trying, while | had to struggle to keep it on me.¡±

    ¡°Emma...¡±

    >>

    ¡°No, Ava. It¡¯s true. | behaved like a total bitch because | wasn¡¯t Rowan¡¯s center of attention. | should have realized that whatever

    we shared was long dead. | should have let go the moment | realized that his heart no longer belonged to me, instead of taking it

    out on you.¡±"@

    | squeeze her hand, and then she continues. ¡°I know we''ll never be best friends or anything like that, but | hope our enmity can

    end. | don¡¯t want to keep hating you for something that happened a decade ago. I¡¯m tired of carrying that burden.¡±

    | search for the ce where my bitterness towards Emma used to be, but it¡¯spletely empty. | no longer hate her or feel

    jealous of her. I¡¯m at peace.

    completely empty. | no longer ha

    ¡°And I¡¯m sorry, Emma.¡± | tell her sincerely. ¡°I never should have slept with your boyfriend.¡±

    ¡°| was immature, and | loved Rowan so much | could barely see straight. | shouldn¡¯t have let my obsession go that far. | was

    drunk that night when it happened, but that¡¯s no excuse. I¡¯m really sorry; | know you probably won''t believe it, but | never meant

    to hurt you.¡±

    This time, she falls into my arms and hugs me, crying. | can¡¯t stop myself when my tears start pouring. After a while, we pull

    away from each other.

    ¡°That¡¯s all | ever wanted to hear you say,¡± she tells me, trying to master a smile.

    ¡°I''m sorry it took so long¡± | chuckle- cry ¡°But you didn¡¯t make it easy for me when you ran from this city for ten years, and when

    you came back, you were aplete bitch.¡±

    Sheughs, and this time it¡¯s genuine. For a while, it¡¯s like she¡¯s forgotten her problems.

    ¡°Thank you, Ava.¡±

    ¡°Hey, you saved my life and that of Iris... I''ll always owe you for that.¡± | smile and

    Unable to hold it in, | yawn. | was so freaking tired.

    ¡°| should let you go; you look pretty tired,¡± she says, standing up.

    | stared at her for a while before saying anything. ¡°Have faith, Emma, and stay strong. Everything will eventually work out.¡±

    She nods her head, and | stand up. | open the door and leave, feeling a little lighter than when | came in.

    ¡°You''re ready to go,¡± Rowan falls into step next to me.

    ¡°Yes¡±

    ¡°Ill drive you.¡±

    ¡°I''ll drive myself, Rowan. Besides, I¡¯m not going to your house; I¡¯m going to mine,¡± | inform him. ¡°I''ll be by to pick up Iris and Noah

    later.¡±

    ¡°Please, Ava.¡± He begs, his unshed tears grinding my heart into minced meat. ¡± Don¡¯t leave, please.¡±

    ¡°I need time, Rowan,¡± | breathe out. ¡°I need to think. | can¡¯t do that with you around me.¡±

    | don¡¯t wait for him to say anything. | climb into my car, tears running down my face.

    | never stopped loving Rowan, even when | pretended | did, but now | needed to make a decision. Can | truly forgive him, let go

    of the past, and move on with him? Or is it better to leave him and the past where they belong?

 Chapter 353

    Chapter 353

    Chapter 0353

    It''s been a week since | asked Rowan to give me time. He¡¯s tried to keep his distance, but it hasn¡¯t been easy for both of us.

    | won''t lie, | really miss him. | miss being around him. | miss our talks. | miss everything about him. It¡¯s been quite an adjustment

    trying to merge the Rowan | was used to and the Rowan | woke up to after mya.

    It doesn¡¯t take genius to know that he loves me, but is it enough? Part of me wants to forgive him and move forward; the other

    part is afraid that the

    memories of the past will always be a thorn between us. | mean, how can we be happy if | haven''t been able to let go of the

    past?

    It''s also been an adjustment for Noah and Iris. They haven''t made it a secret that they miss Rowan. Noah talks about him all the

    time and keeps asking when we are going to go back and live with his father. Iris has been irritable since we left.

    She cries a lot and is restless. The only time she settles down is when Rowan calls and she hears his voice. The bond those two

    have despite Rowan not being her father amazes. It¡¯s something else that | don¡¯t know how to deal with.

    | could go back for the sake of the kids, but | don¡¯t want that. That is not the basis for building the rtionship. If I¡¯m to go back, |

    want it to be because | want to. Because | want to give us a try.

    Aknock on the door pulls me from my thoughts. Since the day | went to the station, | haven¡¯t been out much. I''ve also just hidden

    myself away, withdrawing from those around me. My mind hasn¡¯t been able to settle, especially knowing that | have to make a

    decision soon.

    | carry a crying Iris and open the door, surprised to find Rowan¡¯s mother on the other side.

    ¡°Hello, Ava,¡± she greets with a small and warm smile. ¡°Is it alright if |e in?¡±

    | waspletely speechless, so | just nodded my head instead. | take a step back and let her in.

    | keep bouncing Iris up and down, trying tofort her and get her to quiet down, but it doesn¡¯t work. | was at my wits end on

    what to do.

    ¡°Is she growing a tooth?¡± she politely asks. ¡°Is that why she¡¯s crying?¡±

    | take a moment topose myself before answering. This is a situation | never thought I¡¯d find myself in. Rowan¡¯s mom never

    liked me. | do understand her,

    113

    caused my son to lose the girl he loved. | would even be more bitter knowing it¡¯s because of her that my son was living ina

    miserable marriage.

    ¡°It seems she misses her home and Rowan,¡± | calmly and simply reply.

    She nods her head as if she understands. It¡¯s quiet between us for a while. The atmosphere is heavy with awkwardness. | didn¡¯t

    know how to deal with it. Part of me just wanted her to say what she came to say so | could rx.

    ¡°| don¡¯t mean to be rude,¡± | begin. ¡°But is there a reason why you''re here?¡±

    She takes a deep breath. ¡°Yes. First of all, | want to apologize for everything that has happened over the years. You didn¡¯t

    deserve our scorn and you definitely didn¡¯t deserve what we put you through.¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter; it¡¯s in the past.¡± | immediately cut her off. Thest thing | want is for us to rehash the past. | was so tired of it.

    Things happened that were beyond my control. They did what they did, and there is no use crying over what has already

    happened. It¡¯s not like any of us can go back and change the past.

    Then why can¡¯t you forgive Rowan and let go? The nagging voice asked.

    ¡°No, it does matter,¡± she breathes out. ¡°I believe that part of the reason why you won''t forgive Rowan is because of what we did

    to you.¡±

    ¡°Rowan?¡±

    ¡°Yes, he¡¯s the other reason why I¡¯m here.¡±

    | sigh tiredly. | should have seen thising. ¡°I see¡±

    By this time, Iris had quieted down and was now struggling not to fall asleep. She still had the stubbornness of her drawn-down

    eyebrows, but at least she¡¯d stopped crying.

    ¡°| don¡¯t think you do,¡± she says softly. ¡°Rowan has be a mess without you. He truly loves you, and now he thinks he¡¯s lost

    you for good. It¡¯s like the mere realization of that fact has made him lose the life inside him. He has be a zombie. The only

    time we get a reaction from him is when you, Noah or Iris are mentioned.¡± o

    It pained me to hear all this. | really didn¡¯t think that my leaving would have this impact on him. In my head, | rationalized that

    yes, he did love me, but was it too much for his life to stop simply because I¡¯d left?

    I did love him. | fucking loved him even after everything, but | just didn¡¯t know

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    Chapter 0354

    ¡°Sarah...¡± | go to say, but she cuts me off.

    ¡°We were wrong, Ava. We were wrong, and | believe that it¡¯s because everyone held on to what could have been between

    Rowan and Emma that made it hard for them to move on. Looking back, | see it as clear as day. You were all still kids. If we had

    moved on, they would have followed suit and moved on too. We held on tightly to the past, and so they did, which caused

    Rowan to hurt you as badly as he did,¡± she pauses, then continues.

    ¡°I''m not justifying what he did, but | also want to understand that his actions were probably a direct result of how we behaved as

    parents.¡±

    | understood her, but that doesn¡¯t exin his actionster on. Yes, we married young, but we grew up. His actions and cruel acts

    continued for nine years. That''s what | can¡¯t move on from.

    ¡°| know that I¡¯m asking you a lot, but please give him a chance. | know my son, and I know once he loves, he loves deeply. He''ll

    spend the rest of his life loving you and treating you like you deserve if you give him a chance. He''ll bleed on the floor just to

    rectify the mistakes he¡¯s made and fix what he¡¯s broken. | promise you, Ava, if you give him a chance, he¡¯ll work his butt off to be

    deserving of the chance you gave him and to be the man you deserve. | promise you won''t regret it.¡±

    | remain quiet. Everything I¡¯ve ever wanted is there for the taking. All | have to do is reach out and grab it, yet | am scared to do

    that.

    ¡°Do you love Rowan, Ava?¡± she asks. ¡°Because that¡¯s the most important thing right now.¡±

    ¡°Yes. | shouldn''t after everything he¡¯s done, yet | can¡¯t stop my heart from wanting him. | should let go of the past, yet I can¡¯t

    seem to.¡±

    She is silent and then smiles at me warmly. ¡°I know why you¡¯re having a hard time... You''re scared¡±

    | turn to her sharply.

    ¡°You''re scared of him hurting you again. You''re scared that giving him a chance will lead to more heartbreak. You''re afraid of

    being vulnerable because you''ve been hurt so many times. You''re simply scared to love him again¡±

    At first, | wanted to refuse, but the more she talked, the more her words resonated with me. She was right. What was holding me

    back wasn¡¯t the past and

    1/3

    chance, I''ll end up getting hurt.

    ¡°Look, | can¡¯t promise that he won''t do something to hurt you. Men can be clueless and stupid. But | can assure you that he won''t

    ever do anything to intentionally hurt you. | believe he learned his lesson when he almost lost, first to another man and then to

    death. At this point, he¡¯d rather rip out his heart inan hurt or cause you pain. Love is about taking risks in the unknown. Will you

    let fear hold you back from grabbing your happiness?¡±?

    | mull it over. Everything she said was the damn truth. Could | really let him go? And Sarah was right again: Will | let the fear of

    getting hurt stop me from being happy? Rowan has already shown his remorse and that he¡¯d move mountains for; he even sent

    Emma to prison for fucks sake. What more confirmation do | need that he¡¯s truly moved on from her?

    But above all of that, he¡¯s proven his love for me. Sure, he can be an asshole, but that doesn¡¯t stop my love for him.

    ¡°| see you''ve reached a decision,¡± she smiles wide at me as if sensing my choice. Or maybe it¡¯s the goofy smile | know I¡¯m

    wearing.

    | take my phone and shoot Rowan a quick text.

    [Can we meet? I¡¯m at home | want us to talk.]

    His response is immediate. | mean, not even a minute after | sent mine.

    [Sure. I''ll be there in forty-five minutes.]

    I look at Iris and smile.

    ¡°| can take her if you want; I''ll even pick Noah up from school so that both you and Rowan can have enough time to talk.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Sarah. If you don¡¯t mind¡±

    ¡°| don''t,¡± she says, taking a sleeping Iris. ¡°She¡¯s an angel and we all adore her so much.¡±

    | nod and rush upstairs to pack a bag for her. | would get her once Rowan and | were done talking, but | wanted her to have

    enough diaper changes, clothes, and

    some toys.

    When they leave, I rush to clean myself up. | haven¡¯t put much efforttely, but today | wanted to look good.

    | was just finishing when | heard a door open and close. | rushed downstairs, thinking it was Rowan, but | was dead wrong.

    ¡°Hello, bitch. Long time, no see,¡± Christine sneered, her contempt.

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    Chapter 0355

    ¡°What are you doing in my house?¡± | ask in fear.

    | could see the look of contempt in her eyes. Today she was out to get blood, and | knew it was mine she was after.

    She was disheveled in a way I¡¯ve never seen her. Behind her eyesy a kind of coldness that scared the crap out of me. She

    looked unhinged as bloodshot eyes. stared at me with nothing but malice.

    ¡°Isn''t it obvious? | came for a visit,¡± she sneered, pulling a gun from her

    waistband. ¡°After all, | wanted to see the woman who ruined my life onest time. before | ended her miserable existence.¡±

    | take a step back with my hands raised in the air. Fuck, | knew it. She¡¯dpletely lost it. She¡¯d just admitted that she was here

    to fucking kill me.

    | mean,e one. She picked the worst timing. This is definitely not how | wanted to reconcile with Rowan. Plus, what if | didn¡¯t

    make it out alive? From what | could tell, Christine was going to kill me.

    ¡°What are you talking about, Christin? | didn¡¯t destroy your life.¡± | tried ying it cool.

    | know what she meant, but | was ying dumb so as to buy myself some time. After I¡¯d left the police station that day, Emma

    had been released, and a manhunt for Christine had begun. It was during that time that they found more evidence, not only

    linking her to my shooting but also to other various crimes.

    ¡°Yes, you did,¡± she shouted angrily, waving the gun in the air. | was afraid she¡¯d shoot me by ident. ¡°Let¡¯s start with how you

    took my man from me. He loved me, yet you couldn''t let him go because you''re fucking selfish and a bitch. Rowan was mine, but

    you brainwashed him to love you.¡±

    | stand there inplete and utter shock. Did | hit my head by ident when | was getting ready for my talk with Rowan?

    ¡°Rowan never loved you, Christine.¡± | try to tell her gently so as not to be upset. Thest thing | wanted was to end up with a

    bullet because she got angry. Well angrier than she is right now.

    ¡°Of course he did. How else would you exin his behavior towards me?¡± She asks with a dreamy look. ¡°He has never looked

    down on me; he never asked me or forced me to have sex with him just so | could keep my job. He always smiled at me, talked

    to me gently, and he also took me on his business trips.¡±

    +15 BONOS

    I stare at her, not sure what to think. It was obvious that the woman was delusional. How was she able to fool everyone? And

    how the hell did she think those things equated to Rowan loving her?

    ¡°He respected me, something most men never have. He even showed how much he¡¯s loved me by always taking my side over

    yours.¡±

    | wait for the familiar pain toe, but it doesn¡¯t. | search, but there is nothing tangible. Just remnants of the pain that used to be

    there.

    | go to speak to dispel her fantasies, but she gives me a scathing re.

    ¡°But you just had to ruin all that, didn¡¯t you? It wasn¡¯t enough that you got pregnant and trapped him; you had to have him all to

    yourself, so you made him fire me all because you couldn''t ept that he fucking loved me!¡±

    Again, | ask, how the fuck did no one see how unhinged this woman was? She was batshit crazy, and it was now showing. It was

    scaring me because | was home alone with a fucking lunatic.

    ¡°Christine, please calm down,¡± | plead. The more she talked, the more heretic she became.

    ¡°Don''t fucking tell me to calm down,¡± she screamed. ¡°You ruined everything, you stupid bitch. Why couldn¡¯t you mind your fucking

    business, huh? Why couldn¡¯t you just let things be as they were? We had everything nned out; we staged everything, and

    Emma would be the one to take the me and | would be scot-free, but you had to ruin that by opening your fucking mouth, and

    now the cops are after me.¡±

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    Chapter 356

    | knew that she¡¯d set Emma up, but hearing her confirm it was still a shock. How can she be so cruel? Emma was supposedly

    her friend, yet she didn¡¯t hesitate to throw her under the bus just to save her skin. What kind of human does that, except maybe a

    psycho?

    ¡°What did you mean by ¡®We¡¯, Christine?¡± | ask worriedly.

    | thought it was a one-woman job, but it looks like | was wrong. She clearly had help, because how was she able to pull this off

    all by herself?

    She starts pacing as if she were agitated. To be honest, | don¡¯t even think that she was thinking clearly. She looked to be

    unraveling at the seams. What I¡¯m not sure is if it¡¯s something that has been happening for a long time or if something recent has

    pushed her to the edge.

    ¡°My uncle and I,¡± she answers distractedly. ¡°He¡¯s in what you''d call the mafia. He¡¯s been my guardian since my parents died, and

    we kept my link hidden so that | could have a normal life. But after | told him what you did and all that you¡¯ve taken from me, he

    was ready to help me end you.¡± (2

    | sigh because now | get the full picture. If | didn¡¯t know better, her story would be believable. I¡¯m sure the uncle thought that

    everything she said was true, and the fact that she believes her own story makes it even more convincing.

    I''ve heard about cases like hers. Some people with mental health issues make up these worlds in their heads and end up

    believing in them like it was the holy truth. Christine believed that Rowan loved her, despite it not being the truth.

    ¡°What about Emma?¡± | pushed; | wanted to get the full story.

    ¡°What about her?¡±

    ¡°She was your friend; why would you betray her like that?¡±

    Theugh that leaves her lips is cold, unfeeling, and full of mockery. Looking at her, | realize that we never really knew her. This

    was the real Christine. The glimpse she showed us was nothing but a facade.

    ¡°| was never really her friend. | never liked the bitch in the first ce, but | remembered what my uncle always told me: keep your

    friends close, but your enemies closer. | needed to keep an eye on her because she was also after my Rowan. | was to get rid of

    her after | dealt with you, but then you survived, and | got a better idea to frame her. It worked perfectly until, like always, you had

    to butt your head in things that didn¡¯t concern you.¡±

    She started advancing, and for a moment, my life shed before my eyes. The memories of that day came crashing into my

    head. | almost lost my life and Iris, and it¡¯s because of this bitch. Soon, my fear is reced with anger.

    ¡°Now it¡¯s time for you to die,¡± she points the gun in my direction.

    Before she can do anything, a knock sounds at the door. Whoever it is tries the handle, but it¡¯s locked. She gives me a ¡®what the

    fuck look¡¯. It¡¯s like | betrayed her or something.

    ¡°Ava, it''s me; open the door,¡± Rowan yells through the door.

    Both Christine and | freeze and look at each other. I¡¯dpletely forgotten that he was supposed toe for our talk. Christine

    reacts quickly and grabs me. She pulls me in front of her and points the gun at my temple. It works perfectly since she¡¯s taller.

    ¡°Get rid of him,¡± Christine snarls in my ear.

    | didn¡¯t want to because | knew the moment he left, she would kill me. | quick decision.

    ¡°Call the cops, Rowan; Christine is inside with a gun.¡± | shouted rapidly, hoping my voice was loud enough for him to hear.

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    Chapter 357

    Chapter 0357

    ¡°Let her go, or | swear, Christine, I''ll kill you.¡±

    In anger, she pushes me aside and starts shooting outside. ¡°You love me! You should be on my side, not hers. You¡¯re hurting me

    by choosing her.¡±

    She continues shooting. | hear a grunt and a curse, and my heart and fear spike up. What if one of the bullets hit Rowan?

    Fear reces anger, and |unch to my feet. | was not going to let her intimidate me in my house or hurt the man | loved.

    Enough was enough. | was done letting her push me around. It ends today.

    | grab the nearest thing to me andunch it at her. It¡¯s only after it hits her that | realize it¡¯s a vase. | feel some satisfaction when it

    breaks on her head. She sharply turns to re at me as if she can¡¯t believe that I¡¯d just done what I¡¯ve done.

    Before she has the chance to react, | charge and jump on her. She is taken by surprise and falls down. The gun slides from her

    hand, but that doesn¡¯t stop me from attacking with a certain viciousness | didn¡¯t know | had.

    ¡°You fucking bitch!¡± | yell, my anger blinding me. ¡°You nearly took everything from me; don¡¯t even mind me; you nearly killed my

    daughter, and now you probably injured Rowan. I¡¯m gonna kill you!¡±

    ¡°Get off me, you crazy bitch!¡±

    ¡°Crazy? I¡¯m going to show you crazy.¡±

    She tries pulling me off her, but she doesn¡¯t manage to. | could hear sirens, but the sound was too far away. My focus was on the

    woman who had nearly destroyed my life, and all of it was because of an illusion she had.

    | was just thinking of how | should take the gun she dropped and use it against her when someone grabs me by the waist and

    pulls me off her.

    ¡°Let me at her. I¡¯m not done with her yet!¡± | scream,pletely livid at the audacity.

    ¡°Calm down, spitfire.¡± His deep voice prates the haze of anger and bitterness.

    It''s then that | realize that we are no longer alone. The house was full of officers, and Christine was being handcuffed. She

    looked terrible.

    ¡°You did a number on her, Ava,¡± Brian says with amusement.

    She had a broken nose, two ck eyes, a split lip, a missing tooth, and scratches

    She was now in the hands of the police.

    ¡°You got shot.¡± | turn and face Rowan, remembering that | heard him grunt.

    ¡°It''s nothing but a scratch. It just took me by surprise,¡± he replies while | look him over, making sure that he¡¯s really okay.

    He was. The bullet didn¡¯t do any damage, and | was grateful for that. | don¡¯t know what | would have done if it had been

    otherwise.

    I stare at him, and we get lost in each other. The police officers disappear. It¡¯s just me and him.

    ¡°This is so not how | imagined us getting back together,¡± | grumble.

    He chuckles before lowering his head and kissing me like a man who has been starved.

    ¡°Doesn''t matter, as long as you still want me,¡± he says against my mouth, and | can¡¯t help smiling at his words.

 Chapter 358

    Chapter 358

    It''s been six months since that day, and saying I¡¯m happy would be an understatement. Christine was sentenced to a psych

    hospital for life, but she mysteriously died after a couple of weeks there. Her uncle was never found, but word is he was killed,

    and his body was fed to crocodiles. Both cases had Reaper written all over them, but for some reason, it didn¡¯t bother me.

    These past few months, Rowan has taught me what happiness is. My heart has grown and flourished in his care, and | don¡¯t

    regret taking a leap and giving him a chance.

    | could go on and on about how happy | am, but words won¡¯t even do justice to what I¡¯m feeling. Each day | count my blessings,

    and each day | realize it¡¯s possible to fall more and more in love with someone you''re already in love with.

    He¡¯s filled my life with joy, happiness, and peace. Something | never thought possible.

    | look back, and I¡¯m so grateful for the journey. Of course, things aren¡¯t perfect, but he¡¯s patient with me, and therapy, both

    individual and couple, has helped a lot. Something stilles up once in a while, and he sometimes does something that pisses

    me off, but we''ve learned to work it out. 4

    This was needed. | know some may not understand, but | think all the pain both of us have been through was meant to bring us

    to where we are now. Everything happens for a reason, and our time wasn¡¯t back then, but now. We both needed to grow up and

    grow into our feelings before making something out of them.

    We both needed to let go of resentments and pain. We both needed to be in a healthy space for us to flourish. Where we are

    now is conducive for our rtionship to grow. | don¡¯t think that would have been the case had we tried this

    years ago.

    | also realized that me being with Ethan and him being with Emma also helped. To a point, it showed us our true feelings.

    Something that we''d both tried hiding and burying. With Emma, he learned that his love for her was dead and that he actually

    wanted me. With Ethan, | learned that my heart will always want Rowan, despite what he did. 2

    It also helped me get out there. | never got the chance to explore or date other men. It proved to me that | didn¡¯t love Rowan

    because he¡¯s the only man I¡¯ve known. It proved that | wanted him because | truly loved him.

    ¡°Are you ready?¡± His voice makes me jump, since I¡¯ve been lost in thought.

    1/3

    ¡°You scared me.¡± | turn towards him.

    He wraps his hands around my waist and pulls me to him before kissing the breath out of me. For a moment, | think about

    abandoning our ns, but this is something that he¡¯s been nning for a while.

    ¡°Are you too ready?¡± Noah asks excitedly while holding Iris; she was busy

    bubbling in babynguage.

    We are going to bete.¡±

    Iris was about to turn a year old, and we were all excited. Her bond with Rowan still amazes me. She calls

    | smile with fulfilment. Pa while calling Ethan Dada.

    and happiness when | remember when she gave both men

    their names. They both literally cried. It was a sight that will forever be etched in my head.

    ¡°Fine, let''s go,¡± | tell Noah, who was already distracted by his sister. He was making faces at her, making herugh her little heart

    out.

    We leave the house and get in the car. The car ride, as always, is full of chatter andughter. Around forty minutester, we get

    to the restaurant that Rowan had booked for our family dinner.

    Getting out of the car, we

    Owards it, with Rowan holding Iris.

    Immediately, my suspicion meter reaches critical heights. Rowan seemed nervous, while Noah

    while Noah waspletely excited. Like he couldn''t keep it inside him.

    We get to the door, and Noah opens it. | almost die of a heart attack when everyone; Our friends and family, jump out,

    screaming, ¡®Surprise¡¯

    | was confused. It wasn¡¯t my birthday

    the hell was going on.

    or anything, so | didn¡¯t understand what

    ¡°What''s happening?¡± | asked with a nervous chuckle.

    Noah grins widely before turning me around. | gasp when | find Rowan on bended knees.

    Rowan

    | watch as confusion, happiness, and joy y behind her eyes. Tears fill her eyes, but they don¡¯t fall as she struggles to keep

    them away.

    | take her shaking hand and kiss it.

    ¡°Ava,¡± | begin. | was a nervous wreck. ¡°You brighten my days, and a part from Noah and Iris, you''ve been the best fucking thing

    to happen to me. | didn¡¯t know what true love was until | fell for you. | don¡¯t know when or how it happened, but

    %

    through a lot, most of it because of the shit | did, but here we are, and I''ll forever be a lucky bastard because you gave me

    another chance.¡±

    Fuck, | was bad at this, that thought was quickly erased when | saw her love for shining.

    Noah giggles at that. I¡¯m sure I''ll hear about itter from him about how | called myself a bastard. It makes me smile as | focus on

    Ava.

    ¡°| promise to love and cherish you each day of my life because | can¡¯t and won''t ever stop loving you. | believe our love is the

    impossible kind because it has stood against all odds. We¡¯ve made it work, and nothing now can stop us from reaching our

    happily ever after. I¡¯ll love you no matter what, through your ups and downs, through heartache, and through healing. Ill be there,

    Ava, every step of the way.¡¯

    lam a nervous wreck as | pull out the engagement ring Noah helped me choose. Part of me is afraid that she¡¯s going to say no.

    That one day she''ll decide that she can do better than. I¡¯m still afraid that she¡¯ll leave me, even though she has done nothing to

    make me feel that way.

    She falls kneeling down as she stares between the beautiful diamond ring and me. ¡°I want to spend the next fifty years with

    you... Will you marry me?¡± | try to hide the nervousness in my tone.

    ¡°How about we go for seventy?¡± she asks instead.

    Fuck. | was happy beyond words.

    ¡°Is that a yes?¡±

    The tears she was holding back fell. ¡°It¡¯s definitely a yes.¡±

    Happy shouts ring out as | ce the ring on her finger. Once it¡¯s done, | lift her up, swing her around while kissing her.

    ¡°| love you so much, Ava,¡± | whisper against her lips.

    ¡°| love you too,¡± she replies. ¡°Always¡±

    Evelyn M.M

    Hey, Loves, we''ve finally reached the end of Ex-Husband''s regret. | want to thank everyone who gave this book a chance. | know

    it''s long. It¡¯s the longest one I¡¯ve written, but thank you for sticking it out with me from the start to the finish. You are the best

    readers an author can have. Thank you for the love and support.

    You''ll still get some glimpses of Ava and Rowan in Gabe¡¯s book, but we''ll not be focusing on them. The first chapter of Gabe¡¯s

    book will be out in about two weeks, since I¡¯m just putting the final touches on the plot.

    | hope to have you as we begin Gabe¡¯s journey, where, like | said, we''ll also get Reaper and Connie, and then after we''ll continue

    to a separate book about Noah and a side story on Gunner. | hope to see you in the next chapter.

    | wish you a great weekend ahead, and | would love to hear your thoughts. Take care and stay safe

 Chapter 359

    Chapter 0359

    Hey, Loves, we¡¯ve finally reached the end of Ex-Husband¡¯s regret. I want to thank everyone who gave this book a chance. I know

    it¡¯s long. It¡¯s the longest one I¡¯ve written, but thank you for sticking it out with me from the start to the finish. You are the best

    readers an author can have. Thank you for the love and support.

    You¡¯ll still get some glimpses of Ava and Rowan in Gabe¡¯s book, but we¡¯ll not be focusing on them. The first chapter of Gabe¡¯s

    book will be out in about two weeks, since I¡¯m just putting the final touches on the plot.

    I hope to have you as we begin Gabe¡¯s journey, where, like I said, we¡¯ll also get Reaper and Connie, and then after we¡¯ll continue

    to a separate book about Noah and a side story on Gunner. I hope to see you in the next chapter.

    I wish you a great weekend ahead, and I would love to hear your thoughts.

    Take care and stay safe

 Chapter 360

    Ava

    It''s been a couple of days since Christine tried to kill me. | won''t lie, I¡¯m still a bit shaken up. Once the

    adrenaline lowered, | crushed and bowled my eyes out. | didn¡¯t understand how someone could be so

    evil, so cruel, and all because she med me for things that weren¡¯t even in my control.

    After she was arrested, a warrant for the arrest of her uncle was sent out. Deep down, | knew they

    would never find him. Not alive anyway. How did | know that? Well simple. | got a call from Reaper. He

    simply told me that | would never have to worry about him. That tranted to he¡¯d kill him once he

    found him.

    Does it make me a monster that I don¡¯t care? Maybe my association with Reaper has turned me into a

    cold blooded psychopath. | didn¡¯t care whether he lived or not; in fact, | hoped Reaper would make him

    suffer before finally ending his miserable existence.

    As for Christine, | wish nothing but the worst for the bitch. She almost cost me my and my daughter''s

    lives. There was no way in hell | was going to forgive her for that. | hope the slut has a hard time in

    prison; | hope she suffers; | hope she dies a very painful death; and finally, | hope that her dark soul

    burns in the fiery pits of hell.

    Thinking of what she did just pisses me off, but at the same time, it keeps my mind from overthinking. It

    keeps me from dying of nervousness and anxiety.

    lea

    Aknock on the door speeds up my hate rate. The control I''d gained on my anxiety slips.

    | rub my sweaty hands against my jeans-d thighs before walking towards the door. | wrench it open,

    coming face-to-face with twin

    grey eyes set in a very handsome face.

    ¡°Hi,¡± | squeak out like a choking chicken.

    Damn, | feel like a nervous mess, not to mention that | am

    embarrassed.

    ¡°Hi to you too,¡± he gives me his blinding smile, and for a moment | forget even my name.

    Damn him.

    Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, | move to the side and usher him inside. Things didn¡¯t go as |

    wantedst time, so | postponed our

    talk.

    The house is currently empty except for us. Noah and Iris were with my parents. | needed to be

    focused on Rowan when we were having our talk.

    ¡°How have you been?¡± he asks while taking his coat off.

    He ces it on the back of the sofa before rounding the sofa and taking a seat.

    ¡°Nervous, but other than that, I¡¯m good,¡± | answer, taking my seat on his opposite side.

    les

    ¡°Nervous about? Is it because of Christine¡¯s approaching court date?¡± He tips his head to the side as he asks, studying me

    intensely. ¡°I can assure you that you have nothing to be nervous about. Christine is going to get what she deserves.¡±

    ¡°It''s not that.¡±

    ¡°Then what is it? Talk to me, Ava.¡±

    | take a deep breath. I¡¯ve practiced what | was going to tell him over and over in my head, but now that he is here, no word will

    form, and nothing ising out of my mouth.

    ¡°First of all, | want to apologize to you,¡± | begin. ¡°Looking back, | realize that I¡¯ve never said how sorry | am.¡±

    ¡°You have nothing to be sorry about,¡± he says.

    ¡°Yes, | have,¡± | insist. ¡°I¡¯m sorry that my actions back then cost you the love of a good woman and the life you two had nned.

    I''m so sorry that my obsession with you nearly destroyed you, Rowan. I¡¯m sorry that | tore you and Emma apart and I¡¯m sorry

    that | never sympathized with your pain at losing her.¡±

    My eyes fill as | try my best to push back my tears. This was so damn hard.

    He¡¯s quiet as | continue. ¡°It took time to realize that, in a way, | was selfish. | only focused on my pain without truly realizing what

    I''d cost you and what you were going through. For heaven¡¯s sake, you turned to alcohol and drugs to deal with your pain, but

    even then, it didn¡¯t really register to me the extent of your pain and hurt... You''ll never know just how sorry | am, and if | could go

    back in time, | would do things differently. For starters, | wouldn¡¯t have been a menace or a stalker,¡± | cry-chuckle at thatst past.

 Chapter 361

    I¡¯m now mature enough to better understand Rowan and his actions.. He lost the woman he thought he

    would spend the rest of his life with. If | were in his shoes, | would have reacted the same way. | would

    have taken out my anger on the person responsible for my pain, just like | tried taking out my anger on

    him after our divorce by treating him with nothing but hate and bitterness.

    ¡°I''m so sorry it took me this long to see how much | hurt you back then¡± | whisper, feeling overwhelmed.

    ¡°For so long | was bitter. Especially after Emma came back and | realized that | could never be what

    you wanted or desired. | held for so long, and maybe if | hadn¡¯t, you and Emma would have gotten a

    chance at a life together. I¡¯m really sorry. You''ll never know just how sorry | am¡±

    | pull myself back when | feel strong hands on mine. I¡¯m surprised to see that he¡¯d crossed to my side

    and was now sitting right next to me.

    He takes a deep breath and | hold on to his hand like a damn lifeline. What | did to you was much

    worse. The pain that | put you through the years is something | don¡¯t think I''ll ever be able to forgive

    myself. | too was selfish because | saw your pain but | rationalized that you fucking deserve it and for

    that I¡¯m sorry Ava. I¡¯m sorry that | took i too far. Sorry that | trampled over your love and destroyed your

    heart. I¡¯m so fucking sorry | caused you so much heartache¡±

    | couldn''t listen anymore because the dam I''d been holding back, breaks and everything pours out. |

    couldn¡¯t hold back my tears anymore when | saw how remorseful Rowan is and how this hurts

    lode

    him.

    ¡°It took seeing you with someone else for me to realize how much | wanted you. It took almost losing

    you to someone else to see how much | love you. | pushed you into another man¡¯s arms, and | can¡¯t tell

    you just how agonizing it was knowing that you were moving on with someone who wasn¡¯t me. That

    you were actively trying to put me in your past. That the pain | caused you made you wish that you¡¯d

    never met me. That you regretted ever loving.¡±

    | try to wipe away my tears, but they just keep falling down like twin rushing rivers. They were endless.

    ¡°Knowing how much | hurt you now, breaks my fucking heart into

    pieces. | know you deserve better, and | should let you go so that you

    can find a better man, but I¡¯ll be selfish one more time and hold on to you because | can¡¯t imagine life

    without you. Please give me a chance, Ava. Give me a chance to show you that my heart belongs to

    you and that | love you with every fiber of my being, please?¡±

    His words touch my heart. How did he manage to turn this around? was the one who was supposed to

    pour my heart out, yet hepletely flipped things on me.

    ¡°Oh, Rowan... You¡¯ve got to realize that | love, that I¡¯ve always loved you from the moment | set eyes

    on you when we were kids. | tried my best to kill that love and pretend that it didn¡¯t exist, but | was lying

    because it still remained even after everything.¡± | tell him, swiping the tears from my face.

    les

    ¡°Does that mean you''re giving me a chance?¡± His tone is hopeful, an his eyes are bright, reflecting that

    same hopefulness.

    ¡°A thousand times yes.¡±

    ¡°Fuck, Ava, | love you so fucking much,¡± he growls right before he captures my mouth in a scorching

    kiss.

    Rowan.

    It was meant to be a quick kiss, but she deepened it. She moans in

    my mouth, which sends blood rushing to my cock. | crave her. | want her. I¡¯ve missed her.

    | pull her from her position on the sofa and lift her to myp. She immediately straddles me, without

    even breaking the kiss. My cock hardens as | feel her heat through her panties and it nearly drives me

    insane.

 Chapter 362

    Breaking the kiss, | lean my head against her. ¡°Please tell me you want this,¡± | plead with a certain

    desperation.

    It''s been long, and my body is dying to bury myself in her warm cunt.

    ¡°Definitely,¡± she breathes as she rubs herself against my hardness.

    The words barely leave her lips when | stand up and grab her hand, dragging her the rest of the way to

    her bedroom.

    | don¡¯t stop when |e to her half-closed bedroom door. | just use my foot to kick it the rest of the way

    open. It ms against the wall, causing Ava to jump.

    My body is primed and ready, and I¡¯m impatient. There¡¯s not a damn thing that will stop me from having

    her now, except her telling me to stop. But there¡¯s one thing | have to make clear first

    | turn to her, drag her shirt down her arms, and let it fall to the floor. She looks up at me, the brown in

    her eyes swallowed up by the pupils. Her breathing is heavy, causing her generous tits to rise and fall

    rapidly. She licks her lips, and | swear | feel it on the tip of my dick.

    | swing her around and bring her back against my front. Her ass meets my hard cock, and it feels like

    fucking heaven. She sucks in a sharp breath. | wrap one arm around her middle and let the other grip

    the material of her skirt.

    I run my nose along her neck, her scent intoxicating my senses. | stop when I reach her ear.

    lea

    ¡°You want me?¡± | ask again, needing her to be sure.

    She shivers, and | look over her shoulder to see her hands clenched into fists at her sides.

    ¡°You know | do,¡± she whispers, wiggling her ass against my crotch.

    She tips her head to the side when | nip her ear. | kiss and lick a trail from one side to the other. Her

    head moves forward, giving me ess to the back of her neck.

    Everything else is pushed to the back of my mind. The only thing I¡¯m thinking about is how she''ll feel

    once | have her beneath me, the taste of her cunt on my lips, the smell of her, and how tight she''ll grip

    my cock after such a long time.

    | want her too badly, and I¡¯m sure once | reacquaint myself with her body, she¡¯ll be my new favorite

    desert.

    Her breath hitches, and her body tightens. My heart starts beating in anticipation. It took me a while to

    realize my heart had been dead and cold. It¡¯s only after | allowed the love | felt for her to flow that it

    revived. For that, she¡¯ll forever have it.

    ¡°Please, Rowan, | need you.¡±

    | squeeze my eyes shut with her softly spoken word, trying to calm my heart against the onught of

    emotions those words cause.

    I grip her hips and curl my fingers under her shirt. Her skin feels silk and warm. Goose bumps appear

    le

    on her sides when | slide my hand up, taking her camisole with me. A little moanes from her lips

    and | hum my approval against her neck.

    Her head drops forward again when | trail kisses from one shoulder to the other. My hands stop just

    below her breasts.

    ¡°Fuck, Ava.¡± | pause, trying to control myself, but it¡¯s no use.

 Chapter 363

    She reaches back and grabs my ass, pulling me more into her.¡± Please don¡¯t stop. | want this, Rowan,¡±

    she moans.

    | move my hands and pull her camisole up, exposing her breasts. From over her shoulder, | see her

    small, rosy pink nipples. They look just like cherries, and | want to lick, suck, and devour them. | pinch

    and twist them until they turn into hard little nubs.

    She picks her head up, only toy it back against my shoulder.

    | grab a handful of her hair that¡¯s still at the nape of her neck in a bun and twist her head to the side so |

    can nip and lick her neck. | can¡¯t get enough of her taste. She tastes just as she smells. | grip both her

    tits in my hands and squeeze. She shoves her chest out and digs her ass back into my groin, nearly

    destroying my control.

    | take a step back from her and say gruffly, ¡°Take your skirt and panties off. Then get on the end of the

    bed on your hands and knees.

    in the air.¡±

    She turns and looks up with a smirk. ¡°I¡¯ve always wanted you to tak me doggy style.¡±

    | hold my ground when all | want to do is fall to my knees in front o her and worship every single inch of

    her body. Her breasts jiggle with her movement, and my hungry eyes drop to them. Her body is

    glorious, and | haven¡¯t even seen all of it. | haven''t yet seen all the changes pregnancy has had on her

    lea

    body.

    ¡°You''re testing my patience, darling.¡±

    ¡°Exactly. | want you to lose control, | don¡¯t want you to hold back like you used to. Fuck me like you

    fucking mean it, Rowan.¡±

    Damn her. She knew exactly what she was doing because my cock was now painfully hard, and |

    wasn¡¯t sure how long | couldst.

    She must have seen something in my eyes because she seductively winks and then slowly lifts her

    hands to her skirt and slides it over her

    hips.

    | watch with hunger and interest. Her hands move down, taking her panties along with the skirt and

    exposing inch by inch of smooth, pale skin. My eyes hold for a second on the neatly trimmed brown

    curly hair that lies above her pussy, before following her hands as they continue their downward

    movement.

    Once she has her skirt and panties at her ankles, she stands back up and steps out of them. | trail my

    eyes up her shapely legs, linger once more at the apex of her thighs, up over her stomach and tits, her

    neck, before meeting her gaze. She¡¯s so fucking beautiful.

    les

    She''s looking directly at me over my shoulder. Her eyes and posture portray a confidence that I¡¯ve

    never seen before in our bedroom.

    | reach back between my shoulder des, grip my shirt, and bring it over my head. | lose sight of her

    for only a second, but when | have back, her eyes are focused on my chest. Heat res in their depth

    and she shudders out a breath.

    Fuck, but | want this woman something fierce!

    ¡°Release your hair.¡±

    Her eyes snap back to mine. Her hands reach back, and she pulls a clip from the back. Her thick brown

    haires tumbling down her shoulders in soft waves. Some of it falls over her breasts, leaving them

    partly hidden, peeking through a brown curtain. She looks like an innocent maiden from the old days,

    trying to cover her breasts from prying eyes.

    ¡°Bed, darling,¡± | remind her.

    She licks her lips, but moves to the bed. Her ass twitches as she walks, and | can¡¯t wait to get my

    hands on it. She looks over her shoulder at me when she¡¯s standing in front of the bed. | raise a brow in

    question, but she just turns and climbs up. She stays on her knees, her hair trailing down her back, for

    several seconds, before she lowers her body until she¡¯s on her hands as well.

    The sight before me, damn near, has me drooling. My dick turns to stone as her cunt glistens and

    spreads open for me. Her lips are small and a darker pink. The puckered hole of her ass tempts me. |

    want to dive in and devour her and nevere up for air.

 Chapter 364

    She''s fucking driving me insane.

    My eyes stay locked on her pussy and ass as | walk toward her. When I¡¯m standing with only a few

    inches separating my jean-covered dick from her slickness, | ce one of my hands on the small of her

    back and run it up her spine. She''s on her hands and knees, but | want her chest to be on the bed.

    Her breath hitches at my first touch.

    | reach the base of her neck and apply pressure. She understands what | want and lowers herself until

    she¡¯s on her elbows with her

    cheek to theforter.

    ¡°Spread your legs more,¡± | tell her, pushing down on her lower back.

    She does as she¡¯s told, but not enough.

    ¡°More.¡± | grunt at her and apply more pressure.

    She spreads her legs even wider. | stop her when she¡¯s at the perfect level to take my cock.

    With both hands now, | start at her ass and move them up her si until | reach her breasts that are

    smashed to the bed. | reach beneat tweak her nipples, and then bring them back down her sides.

    Her skin is so smooth and feels fantastic beneath my palms. She moans into theforter and arches

    her back. When | reach the

    crease of her legs and hips, | change directions and slide them down her thighs. On my way back up, |

    lea

    wrap my hands around her thighs so my fingertips are right at her pussy.

    | pull her back against my dick, and her warmth hits me, intoxicating me. | tip my head back and

    release a groan at the same time she

    moans. When | bring my head back down, she¡¯s gripping the sheets tightly in her fists. | pull her back

    again, grind her wet pussy against me, and have to fight the urge to yank open my zipper and shove

    my dick in her tight cunt.

    | shift back and bring my hands over her ass again until my thumbs are poised right at her wetness. |

    look down when | pull her lips apart and watch as her juice slides down her thighs. She¡¯s fucking

    soaked, and my mouth waters top up every single drop.

    run both thumbs up and down her slit a few times, before | slip one inside.

    ¡°Fuck!¡± | hiss when her walls clench around my thumb, gripping it tight, and she whimpers, causing me

    to push in further.

    Not able to stand it a moment longer, | take my hands away and take a step back.

    Her protest is instant. She looks over her shoulder.

    ¡°| can¡¯t wait anymore,¡± | growl between clenched jaws. ¡°I promise I''ll take it slow after this, but | need to

    be inside you right now.¡±

    les

    ¡°What are you-¡± She stops short when she sees my hands at the waist of my jeans. She breathes an

    ¡°oh,¡± and her eyes re wide w desire.

    | keep my eyes on her as she watches me slide my pants down my hips. My dick jumps with her stare,

    and a pearly drop of precum

    appears at the tip.

    ¡°Cheek back to the bed,¡± | order harshly.

    She bites her lip and does as she¡¯s told.

    | bend to untie my boots and then toe them off. Once | step out of my jeans, | grip my cock and give ita

    few pulls. Stepping back up to Chris, |y a hand on her left hip and feel a shiver race over her.

    I can only see one side of her face, but the side | do see shows her eyes clenched tightly shut.

    Still holding my dick with one hand, | take the tip and rub it along her opening. Instead of slipping it

    inside, | grab the base and angle it down until it meets her clit.

    Her panted ¡°Rowan¡± against theforter and her backward push with her hips say it won''t take long

    to send her over the edge.

    Thank fucking christ for that, because | sure as shit won''tst either.

    | bring the head of my dick back up, trail it past her slit again.

    My grip on her hip tightens as | slide inside.

    She moans, and | feel the sound all the way down to my balls.

 Chapter 365

    Chapter 0365

    | nce down to where my dick is poised at her entrance and watch as | slide every single inch in with one smooth, slow motion.

    ¡°Fuck, Ava¡± | groan deeply as she cries out into theforter.

    She grips me so goddamn tight, it¡¯s a wonder | don¡¯te as soon as I¡¯m inside. The feeling of her wrapped around me, warm

    and soft, is like heaven and hell. It¡¯s one of the sweetest things I¡¯ve ever felt, and | know this will be the only time I''ll ever feel it.

    | pull my hips back until just the tip is left inside. Seeing her wetness glistening on my cock has me biting back a groan and

    fighting the impulse to pound the fuck out of her. Slowly, | slide back inside and hold myself still, letting her adjust to my size.

    Once | feel her rx, | grab her hips and m forward. At the same time, | pull her back to me. She¡¯s whimpering and crying and

    clutching theforter in a death grip.

    On my next inward movement, | keep her hips against mine and grind my pelvis into her ass, hitting something inside her that

    has her shouting, ¡°Rowan!¡±

    Hearing her cry my name has me wanting to pound my chest like a caveman.

    When | pull from her again, | don¡¯t stop until | pull all the way out. Immediately, | push her ass until she has no choice but to

    move up the bed. | climb up behind her and bring her hips back, fitting my cock back inside her sweet, warm pussy.

    ¡°Make sure you stay on your knees,¡± | grumble at her. She holds still as | bend over her back with one arm braced beside her

    head and one nted diagonally across her back, my hand grabbing her shoulder.

    | use her shoulder as leverage to push myself forward while at the same time making sure she stays in ce to take my thrusts. |

    surge forward and feel my balls pping her clit. Pulling back, | m forward again. And again. She holds her position on the

    bed, but with my thrusts, she¡¯s forced to inch forward. | grit my teeth to keep from spilling inside her.

    ¡°Oh heavens,¡± she groans. ¡°Please don¡¯t stop.¡±

    Her walls tighten around me, and | know she¡¯s close.

    | wait just long enough to feel her reach her peak. She cries out my name and starts bucking her ass against me. | have to force

    my own orgasm back when her tightness clenches around me in a vise grip.

    | bend more at the waist until my chest is curled against her back. | take my hand from her shoulder, grab a handful of hair, and

    yank her head back. Once my lips are at her ear, | take the lobe between my teeth and nip, enjoying the shudder that goes

    through her body.

    | rear back, force my hips forward, and unleash my own climax inside her, shouting, groaning her name, for everyone to hear.

    lea

    | pull out of her and copse next to her, trying to catch my breat That was the best fucking orgasm I''ve ever gotten. It almost

    rivale the first time we fucked ten years ago. | tried forgetting it, but it always stuck to me. It¡¯s no wonder, | kepting back to

    her for sex.

    I''d just rxed when | felt Ava move. | open my eyes, in time to see her moving on top of me.

    ¡°Don''t tell me you''re already done,¡± she whispers against my mouth.

    My mouth dries out when she rises a bit, grabs my still-hard cock, and then slides it into her pussy. It felt like heaven. | grab her

    hips as she starts to ride me, my eyes captured not only by her beauty but also by her beautiful breasts.

    ¡°Definitely not,¡± | reply with a wicked smile. ¡°We¡¯re not leaving this bed until neither of us can walk properly.¡±

 Chapter 366

    Chapter 0366

    Rowan.

    Fuck, | am a nervous wreck. My heart was beating erratically, and | could barely contain the shaking in my hands. Thest time

    we did this, we were both young, and neither of us wanted it.

    She''d been trying to escape from me with my baby, and I¡¯d been angry at the whole universe for the fact that | had to marry a girl

    | hated. Parts of me still wonder what would have happened if Ava had managed to run away. Of course | would have been

    fucking angry that she ran away and denied me the chance at knowing my baby, but would we still have found our way back to

    each other?

    | didn¡¯t see it before, but | truly, fucking believe that Ava is my soulmate. It took a while to see that, to realize that, but betterte

    than never.

    ¡°Will you fuckinge down?¡± Gabe growls beside me.

    Taking a deep breath, | try to calm myself down, but nothing happens.

    | guess | won''t be able to calm down until | see her walking down the aisle.

    ¡°¡®lcan''t¡±

    ¡°Well, you better; you¡¯re making me nervous, and I¡¯m not the one getting married.¡±

    We were standing at the front, waiting for Ava to arrive. Neither she nor her bridesmaid had arrived yet.

    Despite me wanting the mostvish wedding money could buy, Ava didn¡¯t. | wanted the whole damn world to know that she was

    mine.

    That she¡¯d chosen me. That she¡¯d given me a second chance.

    Nobody was ever going to be able to take her away from me.

    Ava, wanted something simple and intimate. That is one thing that still surprises me about her. She is one of the richest women

    in the city, yet she¡¯s so simple and down to earth. She didn¡¯t want any paparazzi at our wedding, or strangers. Just friends and

    family.

    ¡°| saw mom¡¯s wedding dress, it¡¯s beautiful, and she looked beautiful in it.¡± Noah says it on my other side. ¡°Wait and see, you

    won''t be able to take your eyes off her.¡±

    You fucking guessed it. My groom¡¯s men were Gabe and Noah. | would have chosen Travis, my oldest friend, but our friendship

    has been the same since everything went down between me and Emma. Ava has also yet to forgive him, so there is that.

    ¡°| can¡¯t wait to see her.¡± | smiled at my son, who was bouncing in excitement.

    He was our biggest champion, always trying his best to push us together when Ava and | divorced. He never gave up on us. |

    guess he saw something between us that we didn¡¯t until it was almost toote.

    | turn and stare into the crowd. My parents were seated at the front. The talk between my mom and Ava had somehow brought

    them a bit closer. They¡¯ll never be best friends, but there¡¯s no longer bad blood between them.

    Nora and Theo weren¡¯t here, but that¡¯s understandable. They''re with Ava and her bride¡¯s maid. Travis, Kate, and Emma were

    also present. Only a few of the kids Ava has helped were present here. The rest would join us at the reception. Her assistant and

    a few of our colleagues were also present. Also present are Calvin and Gunner.

    ¡°What if she doesn¡¯te?¡± | whisper to my brother as a different kind of panic takes over.

    ¡°You''re kidding me, right?¡± He gives me a look that suggests he finds me to be the dumbest human being in existence. | ignore

    that.

    ¡°Maybe she decided I¡¯m not good enough for her, which, by the way, I¡¯m not. | wouldn''t me her if she decides she¡¯s better off

    without me in her life.¡±

    Gabe discretely shakes me. ¡°Get a fucking hold of yourself!¡±

 Chapter 367

    ¡°Yeah, what uncle Gabe said... Mom wouldn¡¯t run; she¡¯s excited about marrying you again. Her happiness is so sweet, it¡¯s

    enough to give someone a sugar rush.¡±.

    He gives me a smirk, one that is eerily simr to mine and that of Gabe.

    | was about to say something when the wedding march began. Standing up straighter than a rod, | face the entrance.

    The first to walk in is Corrine. The color she chose looks radiant, but | don¡¯t really fucking care about her or Letty, who walks in

    next. | just wanted to see my daughter and my soon-to-be wife.

    Iris finally walks in with a small flower basket, throwing petals on the ground. She¡¯s now two and a half years old, since our

    engagement took a year and a half. My heart swells with so much love.

    | watch, smiling, as she tries her best to focus on her task. Half way through the aisle she looks up and spots me. A big smile

    breaks out. She drops the basket and starts running full speed towards me, her taskpletely forgotten.

    ¡°Papa!¡± she screams. ¡°Miss you¡±

    There¡¯s a burst ofughter and aaws from the crowd, but | don¡¯t pay attention. None of them matter.

    | go down on my knees just in time for her body to crash into mine. | hugged her, smelling her sweet andforting scent,

    before standing up with her in my arms.

    ¡°Hi, Bubba,¡± she greets Noah, using the nickname she gave him. ¡°Hi, best uncle.¡±

    They greet her back.

    | kid you not, Gabe trained her to call him the best uncle. Soon I¡¯m distracted when | see Ava with her parents. They start

    walking, and can¡¯t keep my eyes from her. She looks beautiful and radiant. It was like watching an angel walk towards you. | was

    completely mesmerized.

    When they get to us, | don¡¯t waste time wrapping my hands around her waist, pulling her to me, and kissing the daylights out of

    her. | can hear theughter and chuckles in the background, but it sounds so far away.

    Someone clears their throat. ¡°You clearly skipped to the part where you kiss her¡±

    Another round ofughter and chuckles hits me just as I¡¯m pulling away from her. She looks up at me with her beautiful brown

    eyes and warm smile. Moments like this make me fall for her all over again because she¡¯s just got that kind of grip on my heart.

    ¡°Okay, let¡¯s begin,¡± the priest says.

    Nora tries to take Iris, but she refuses, clutching onto me like I¡¯m her lifeline. Finally, she gives up, and the whole ceremony she

    spends in my arms, which | don¡¯t fucking mind because she¡¯s my daughter in every way.

    Everything is a blur as my focus is on the woman standing in front of me. We chose not to say our vows before others. That one

    will just be between us.

    ¡°Do you, Ava Howell, take Rowan Wood as your lovely wedded husband?¡± the priest asks her.

    She smiles, her eyes sparkling and her smile radiant. No one else knew yet, but part of her radiance stems from her pregnancy.

    ¡°| do,¡± she answers and | ce the wedding ring on her finger

    ¡°And do you, Rowan Wood, take Ava Howell as your lovely wedded wife?¡±

    ¡°| do¡±

    At my answer, she ces the ring on my finger. The feeling that rushes through me is unexinable. It¡¯s exhrating. My love for

    her expands inside my chest. Forgetting everything else, | pull her into my arms again and kiss her.

    Thest thing | hear over the roar of happy shouts and congrattions is the priest¡¯s strong voice.

    ¡°| now pronounce you husband and wife.¡±

 Chapter 368

    Chapter 0368

    Prologue.

    Gabe.

    | sit in my office, my mind reeling. Worry for my brother consumes me day and night. It¡¯s been a couple of months since

    everything went south with Emma and since he informed us that he married Ava because he¡¯d gotten her pregnant.

    Since then, since he lost Emma, he hasn¡¯t been the same. It¡¯s like something inside him broke. Like he was only half living.

    Travis told me that Emma wasn¡¯t doing any better, but as much as | treasure her, she wasn¡¯t my main concern. My loyalties will

    always lie with Rowan, no matter what he did.

    | pull my drawer open and retrieve a packet of cigarettes. Lighting one up, | drag it in, feeling myself calm down just a little bit. |

    know it¡¯s a bad habit, but I just can¡¯t stop. Not when it¡¯s the only thing apart from sex that is able to make me rx.

    Standing up from my chair, | eye my office. | was interning at our family¡¯spany. It¡¯s been there for generations and has

    always been run by the men in our family. We aren¡¯t sexists or anything like that; it¡¯s just that there haven''t been any females

    born in generations. For some reason, the men in our family only produce males. Once, there was hope when my mom got

    pregnant after Rowan and me, but she miscarried at five months. The baby had been a girl.

    My door opens, but | don¡¯t turn around. I¡¯ve fucked her enough times to immediately recognize her perfume.

    ¡°Gabe, there¡¯s a man here to see you.¡±

    Even when she¡¯s delivering such mundane news, her voice is sultry and sexy. Apart from her looks and sex appeal, it was the

    other thing that attracted me to her. Her voice alone can make you fantasize about how she sounds when you''re buried deep

    inside her.

    ¡°Does he have an appointment?¡± | asked, finally turning around.

    Damn, her curves never cease to distract me. It isn¡¯t once or twice I¡¯ve called her in for a quickie. She¡¯s the distraction | need

    when my brain can¡¯t stop thinking and worrying about Rowan.

    ¡°No, but he said it¡¯s urgent and that he has something important to tell you.¡±

    ¡°Okay, let him in.¡¯

    She leaves and secondster she ushers a man in. He has dark hair slicked back, sharp, cunning green eyes, and he¡¯s leaning

    against a cane.

    I stare at him; he looks to be in histe twenties or early thirties. Tool young to be needing a cane to walk, but then again, there

    are people in our social status that use it as a prop.

    ¡°Who are you, and what do you want?¡± | ask, not beating around the bush.

    The more | look at him, the more familiar he looks. | just don¡¯t know where I¡¯ve seen him before.

    ¡°I''m Andrew Beckett; I¡¯m sure you¡¯ve heard of me,¡± he replies smoothly, before crossing the room and then sitting down.

    I smirk. Impressed with his confidence. Not many people have that when they¡¯re dealing with me. Though, the moment his name

    hits my ears, the smirk disappears,

    The Beckett family was once prominent. You can even say they rivaled ours. About fifteen years ago, though, the CEO at that

    time, Andrew''s grandfather, died and left his legacy to his son-inw. It¡¯s said that he wanted to leave it to his only child,

    Andrews¡¯s mother, but she begged him to leave the position to her husband because he¡¯d worked there since they married and

    has always desired to lead thepany.

    It turns out that that was the single worst decision he ever made. My dad always said that Andrew''s dad wasn¡¯t made to be a

    leader. That he wasn¡¯t meant to be CEO, and that¡¯s why thepany began failing. By the time Andrew was old enough to take

    over thepany, it was beyond help. The Beckett¡¯s legacy finally went down about five years ago, and they lost their social

    standing.

    ¡°How can | help you, Andrew? If it''s a merger or some shit you want, let me just inform you that I¡¯m not in the position to help

    you,¡± | tell him, lying my facts down.

 Chapter 369

    That wasn¡¯t my sector. Rowan is the one in charge of merging and acquiring new businesses. He was fucking good at that, but

    right now he¡¯s not in a position to do anything for that matter.

    At only twenty-two, we were on top of our game. I¡¯m not fucking bragging, but everyone in our industry knew of the Wood twins.

    Everything was going perfectly until Ava ruined everything. That bitch is the reason why my brother was spiraling.

    ¡°| know that, but it¡¯s not the reason why I¡¯m here,¡± he tells me coolly.

    | had to apud him. Had he taken the business earlier, maybe he¡¯d have saved theirpany, because could see behind his

    green. eyes. Andrew was as sharp as he was cunning.

    ¡°Then what do you want?¡±

    | knew what he was doing. He was keeping me in suspense. Something | don¡¯t really appreciate.

    ¡°It''s simple, really,¡± he pauses, and | feel like shaking him. ¡°I want you to marry my sister.¡±

    ¡°You''re kidding me, right?¡± |ugh humorlessly.

    Who in their right mind would want to marry Harper Beckett? | remember thest time | saw, it was during a luncheon organized

    by a charity organization we usually donate to. She was sixteen, | think.

    | like my women beautiful, sexy, and radiant. Harper Beckett wasn¡¯t any of that. Plus, she was clumsy and socially awkward. She

    also didn¡¯t know how to dress. That just goes to show that money doesn¡¯t always guarantee style or ss.

    | know | sound like a bastard, but that is how | feel. His sister isn¡¯t someone | would look at twice, let alone marry.

    ¡°lm not¡±

    I chuckle. ¡°I¡¯m not going to marry your sister. I¡¯d rather be castrated in the fiery pits of hell than marry her.¡±

    He takes offense to that. | see it in his eyes, but he quickly hides it and reces it with a detached look

    When a smile takes over his lips, a shiver runs down my spine.

    ¡°Well, | guess | have to release what | have to the media.¡± His eyes turn cold as something else takes over. ¡°I¡¯m sure the

    paparazzi will have a field day tearing your brother''s character apart.¡±

    | freeze at that. My spine straightening into a fucking rod.

    ¡°You see, | know what happened between your brother and Ava Sharp.

    | also know that she¡¯s pregnant with his baby and that Rowan has spiraled so far that he¡¯s now doing drugs. Imagine the kind of

    damage that would cause if this informationnded in the wrong person¡¯s hands,¡± he pauses before continuing.

    ¡°| can twist the story, Gabriel; say that Rowan got an underage girl drunk and then slept with her, cheating on his girlfriend in the

    process. We can also add in that he was ying sisters against each other, fucking both of them at the same time. Can we also

    talk about the fact that he got a high school girl pregnant? Or let¡¯s imagine the damage his doing drugs and being a drunkard will

    cause on the image of thispany.¡±

    ¡°What do you want?¡± My voice is gruff.

    ¡°| already told you; marry Harper, and you won''t have to worry about me leaking what | have to the media. There are so many

    ways of twisting the truth and destroying your brother in the process.¡±

    There was nothing to think about. | would do anything for Rowan. | would go to hell and back to protect him. He is my other half,

    and there is nothing | wouldn¡¯t do for him.

    ¡°Do we have a deal?¡± he asks after a while.

    I stare at him with contempt. | knew the fucker was sharp, but this is beyond anything | could¡¯ve ever imagined.

    | would marry his sister, and no one needs to know. At the same time, I''d help Rowan get better. This time, I''ll give it my all to get

    him to where he was before.

    | had no choice. | hated this bastard, and | already hate his sister, but | love my brother more.

    ¡°Yes,¡± | growled. ¡°We have a deal.¡±

 Chapter 370

    Chapter 0370

    I stand on the side with a ss of champagne in my hand, just

    watching. Everyone seems to be happy and in a good mood, which is more | can say about myself.

    We''re at the reception of Rowan and Ava¡¯s second wedding, yet | can¡¯t bring myself to be excited. Don¡¯t get me wrong, | am

    genuinely happy for my brother. Happy that he and Ava were able to fix things, so fucking happy that they got a second chance

    despite how their love story started. That being said, | may sound selfish, but I¡¯ve got my own shit to deal with.

    | can¡¯t get the conversation | had with my father yesterday out of my fucking mind. It¡¯s been eating at me. Driving me crazy.

    Ruining every good vibe | had.

    | should be dancing. | should be checking out the single, sexy women, deciding who is going to be the luckydy to share my

    bed tonight, but here | was brooding, wishing that this damn champagne was something stronger. Something to take the edge

    off.

    My eyes roam the room. There are some seated, some dancing, and some at the bar, which, doesn¡¯t have any real alcohol. That

    pissed me off to no end. The bride and the groom are nowhere to be seen.

    | spot a familiar blonde hair. Just like me, Emma was brooding, hidden in a corner, just watching. Correction, she wasn¡¯t just

    watching, she was hyper focused on Calvin, his date, and Gunner. Her eyes follow their every move, and it¡¯s like she¡¯s frozen in

    time.

    We were all worried about Emma. It¡¯s like she was stuck in her own world. In her own hell. In her own torment, where she is

    tormented day in and day out by the mistakes she made. No one has been able to reach her. No one has been able to help her.

    The only time you see some light shining through her eyes is when Gunner is around. Gunner and Calvin, on the other hand,

    don¡¯t give her the time of day, and that rips her to shreds.

    | truly believe that those two are the only ones that can bring her back, but it¡¯s a long shot. She treated them like nothing, and

    finally they gave up on her. Now, even Gunner doesn¡¯t want anything to do with her.

    | feel sorry for her, but I¡¯m a big believer in owning your shit. Just like Rowan and Ava did. It¡¯s the only way to move forward. |

    believe that Emma hasn''t been able to do that. Instead, she¡¯s drowning in a lot of guilt and regrets. gulped down the rest of the

    liquid before snatching another ss from a passing waiter. Champagne wasn¡¯t strong enough, but for now it''ll do the trick till |

    get home.

    A sh of white catches my attention. No one had noticed them yet, but | had. Rowan and Ava had appeared, and Ava looked

    disheveled. It doesn¡¯t take a genius to figure out what they¡¯d been doing those couple of minutes they¡¯d disappeared.

    I smile at that. Happy that Rowan had finally found his happiness. For a long time, I''d med Ava for his behavior and

    unhappiness. It took years to realize that every reaction, every behavior, and his unhappiness were on him and not Aya.

    He could have been happy all those years if only he¡¯d seen Ava for who she was. A woman who was in love with him. He could

    have been happy with her if only he¡¯d chosen to let go of the past. To let go of the memory of Emma and embrace his life with

    Ava. Good thing he realized the truth before it was toote.

    Ahard p on the back pulls me back to the present. ¡°Why the hell are you brooding on my wedding day? Did the singledies

    turn down your advances?¡±

 Chapter 371

    | turn to my brother. | hadn¡¯t even noticed that he was no longer by Ava¡¯s side. I¡¯ve never seen him this happy, well apart from the

    day Noah was born and the day Iris called him papa for the first time.

    His smile was blinding and his eyes were shining. He looked and seemed different from the Rowan-l¡¯d known years ago.

    ¡°Nothing¡± | mutter, my eyes crossing to where my parents were seated.

    Damn the fucking board members and their fucking meddling.

    ¡°Bullshit, Gabe. You forget I¡¯m your twin, | fucking know when you aren¡¯t okay¡± he insists.

    This is one of the few times | hate being a twin. No one can read me better than Rowan. It isn¡¯t possible to hide things from him.

    ¡°We can talk about it when youe back from your honey-moon. Today is your wedding, | don¡¯t want to burden you with my

    shit¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s utter bullshit. Nowe on, spit it out¡±

    | debate whether | should tell him, but in the end, | decide to. He¡¯s my brother, and he was going to find out anyway.

    ¡°Yesterday, Dad told me that the board members were making some noise,¡± | finally said after a while.

    ¡°About?¡±

    ¡°My behavior,¡± | growl,

    Clearly still pissed off at their audacity.

    Rowan sighs. ¡°Do | really need to drag every fucking word out of your mouth?¡±

    ¡°Apparently they find my womanizing and yboy ways uneptable. They said it taints the image of thepany.¡±

    ¡°| did try to tell you the same thing,¡± He chips in. ¡°Not in the context of thepany¡¯s image, but your own.

    | growl at the reminder. He¡¯s right. He did tell me to try to tone it down. Especially, fucking my secretaries, but | was just living my

    life.

    ¡°It gets worse. Now they want me to either settle down or lose my position.¡± | heave a sigh of defeat.

    ¡°You''re joking, right?¡±

    ¡°Nope. Basically, | have to settle down and immediately start a family. They said it''ll be good for the image.

    No one knows that I¡¯ve been married before, and it was the worst period of my life. I¡¯m not so keen on doing that ever again.

    ¡°And dad can¡¯t do anything about it?¡± Rowans asks, a frown on his face, his mind running a mile behind his grey eyes.

    ¡°He said it¡¯s out of his hands. majority voted that that was the best action in taming my wild ways and they''ve given me a month

    to find someone suitable.¡±

    It still pisses me off that they¡¯re trying to force my hand. | don¡¯t want a fucking wife, nor do | want kids, but they got it into their

    minds that that¡¯s what¡¯s best for me and thepany. Either | give in to their demands or lose my position in thepany.

    ¡°What are you nning to do?¡± he asks after a while.

    ¡°| don¡¯t know. | really don¡¯t have an option, do |? Either | get married or risk losing my position. I¡¯ve put in a lot of hard work for

    thispany. | can¡¯t lose it.¡±

    My grip tightens on the ss as | feel my heart constrict at the thought of losing all I¡¯ve worked hard for.

    ¡°You''re right, you have no choice, so the question is, where are you going to find yourself a wife on such a short notice?¡±

    Fuck, this isn¡¯t how | thought things would turn out. I¡¯d hoped that I¡¯d never see her again.

    Technically, she is my ex-wife, but she was a wife none the less. She''ll y the part because | have something that she''ll be

    interested in.

    It''s been years, but it''s time | found Harper Beckett, the woman no one knows was once my wife.

 Chapter 372

    I stare at the reports in my hands nkly. This past few weeks have been, to say the least, heavy. In other words, | fucking hated

    thest couple of weeks, especially because the board kept breathing down my fucking neck.

    Except for my dad, | wondered if the rest of the fuckers had nothing better to do than to try and force me into a situation | didn¡¯t

    want. For heaven''s sake, they even fired my very sexy secretary and brought in a male one. ording to them, | wasn¡¯t allowed

    to have a female secretary until | settled down. 2

    Those bastards even went further to threaten me with my job again. They¡¯d said if they so much as saw or heard gossip about a

    new woman in my life who wasn¡¯t my fucking wife, then | would lose everything.

    Dad tried talking to them as the head of the board, but their minds were made up. Either | settled down and showed maturity and

    responsibility, or they would vote me out and kick me out of thepany. The samepany that my fucking ancestors built.

    I''ve been in a terrible mood since then. Hell, since dad told me everything they''d nned to do, | easily snap at my employees,

    and I¡¯m not a greatpany to be around.

    The only one who could ground me is Rowan, and he¡¯s been on a honeymoon vacation. They''re expected toe back this

    week, butst | heard, they might add a few more days to their time away.

    Letting out the breath | was holding, | stood up and started pacing my office.

    ¡°Can | get you anything, Mr. Wood? It¡¯s lunch time,¡± Christopher, my new secretary, budges in and asks.

    He is gay, and he has no sense of space.

    ¡°No, unless you can get me a wet pussy,¡± | reply, not looking at him.

    ¡°That | cannot,¡± he groans. ¡°Well, | could, but given what the board told me, the only pussy you''ll be getting is that of your wife

    once you settle down.¡±

    | balled my fist at the reminder. | want to fucking hit someone, and he¡¯s a likely target. Don¡¯t get me wrong, | don¡¯t have anything

    against him. He¡¯s a fucking good secretary and does his job well, but he isn¡¯t a woman.

    He can¡¯t give me the stress relievers I¡¯m used to getting from my other secretaries anytime | was under pressure or the thrill of

    fucking her on the desk, knowing very well that anyone passing by could hear her moans. Sex rxes me, and the board took

    that away from me, so now I¡¯m wired hotter than an atomic bomb. This is the longest I¡¯ve gone without sex.

    | don''t like being tied down to one woman. Like | said before, that kind of shit was for someone like my brother. | preferred

    variety, and the board was trying to tame that.

    ¡°Look, | know this will be hard given that you¡¯re used to your ybo persona, but | also know you love thispany and you

    don¡¯t want to lose it. Giving up your bachelor life is hard, and getting married is hard, but like a tiktoker once said, choose your

    hard. Which of the two is more beneficial to you?¡±

    1 think over his words. | hated this. Hated that | was being forced yet again into a marriage | didn¡¯t want. The first time it

    happened, | hated every second of it. | hated being tied down, and fuck was | d when | got to fucking divorce her and kick her

    out of my life. | thought that was it, that I¡¯d never have to go through that again, but fuck, here we are.

    ¡°Just get me whatever is good on the menu.¡± | finally answer and turn back just as he walks out of the door after saying he''ll be

    back.

    | get back on my seat and just sit there, staring into nothing. I¡¯m not sure how long it was when | heard a soft knock on my door.

    ¡°Come in¡±

    | knew it wasn¡¯t Chris. That man never knocks-well, unless I¡¯m in a meeting and it¡¯s really urgent.

    ¡°Good afternoon, Mr. Wood¡±

    | just nod my head. ¡°Tell me you have something.¡±

    I''d hired a private investigator to locate Harper. So far, he¡¯s been unsessful. All the leads led to dead ends.

    After the divorce, | kicked her out without a penny. | didn¡¯t care where she went; all | knew was that | didn¡¯t want her in my

    fucking city. | didn¡¯t ever want to see her face, so | made sure she knew exactly what would happen if she ever came back.

    It''s been years since that day, and I¡¯ve nevere across her, for which | was thankful for, until now.

    ¡°| found her,¡± he simply says, as if that¡¯s everything he¡¯s got.

    ¡°Well?¡± | urge, trying to stamp down my impatience. ¡°What do you have on her?¡±

    ¡°She moved abroad after your divorce, joined university and then got engaged soon after¡±

    ¡°So she¡¯s married?¡±

    ¡°Was married... She¡¯s a widow. Her husband died about two years ago¡±

    Well, say what you want to fucking

    say, but his death came at a very

    good time. | mean, with Harper, |

    know that she won''t be clingy; we''ll

    have an understanding, and at the

    end of five years, long enough for

    those bastards to have retired from

    the board, we''ll divorce.

    ¡°Perfect, send me her location.¡±

    He takes a seat. ¡°What makes you so sure she''ll agree to what you want? You divorced her and basically kicked her out of the

    country¡±

    ¡°| have something I¡¯m sure she''ll be interested in¡± | shrug confidently.

    ¡°Doesn''t it matter that she¡¯s a widow?¡±

    ¡°Not really. As long as she acts the part of a loving, fucking wife, then we are good,¡± | reply. ¡°Now send me her location.¡±

    Ben is a P.| that we often use. He¡¯s

    good at his job, and that¡¯s why our

    family has kept him around since we

    first gave him a job. We known each

    other; that¡¯s why he has the audacity

    to question me.

    ¡°Before | send you her location, there¡¯s something | discovered, something you should know,¡± he tells me almost hesitantly.

    I stare at him. | see the conflict and fear in his eyes. Maybe he was afraid of how | would react to whatever news he had for me.

    ¡°Spit it out, Ben¡± | almost yell in impatience.

    Instead of saying a word, he hands

    me a photo. | study it for a wh trying

    to register what | was seeing, then it

    hits me. Those grey eye were quite

    familiar. Dad had them, Rowan and |

    had them, and so did Noah.

    My lips form a smile.

    | got Harper right where | wanted her, in the palm of my fucking hands.

 Chapter 0373

    Harper

    My eyesnd on the picture of Liam, myte husband. It''s been two years and I still miss him like crazy.

    Sighing, I put the broom down and picked up the picture. I take a seat on my worn-out sofa and just stare at him, lovingly tracing his face. We''re trying to move on but it hasn''t been easy. He proposed to me when we were in Uni and we got married soon after I finished my degree.

    I wasn''t really sure about him at first. I mean, I didn''t really have any experience with men, except Gabriel, but he doesn''t count. The man who was once my husband treated me like I was a virus that he couldn''t wait to get rid of.

    Liam knew everything about Gabriel. He knew what happened in our marriage and also why he divorced me before kicking me out in the cold a day after I''d buried my brother.

    When I went overseas to escape, I was broken in so many ways that I wondered if I would ever be whole. I believe Liam was sent to me when I needed him. When I needed someone to be my anchor to the hell, I called life.

    Slowly, I learned to live. I wasn''t in love with him, I''d already given my heart to my ex-husband, who by the way, shattered it into a million tiny pieces, but I did love him. I loved him in the only capacity I could, and he epted that.

    He was struggling in his own way. He''d lost the love of his life to cancer when they were both eighteen. He wasn''t looking for love, butpanionship, without having to risk his heart being ripped open. We were both dealing with our own brokenness, and we helped each other heal.

    Our marriage was built on friendship andpanionship. That was enough for both of us. He had loved and lost, while I had loved and gotten my heart broken. We both weren''t looking for the forever kind of love. Just somethingfortable andsting. Well, we thought it would be longsting.

    We were proved wrong when, two years ago, he was hit by a drunk driver who had run a red light. My heart was crashed when I received the phone call. He didn''t die on the spot, and I held on to hope that he would pull through, but just like always, the bitch that is fate took him away from me two dayster.

    It was painful to bury yet another person that I loved and cared about. First my parents, then my brother andstly my husband. Fate proved just how much she hated me, and I hated the bitch right back. Now, I only have one person with me and I have this fear clinging to me that even she will be taken from.

    My phone ringing brings me back to reality. Pulling me back from the painful memories. With a sigh, I put down Liam''s picture and pick up my phone. I answer without even looking at the caller ID. "Hi, Harper"

    I recognize her voice immediately.

    "Hi, June...how are you?"

    "I should be asking you that."

    June is a work colleague turned friend. We''ve known each other for years and she is one of my closest friends here.

    "I can''t reallyin... I''m just taking one step at a time," I answer her.

    She knows how hard it''s been for us. How it hasn''t been easy moving forward with our lives.

    "And how is she doing? Thest time we talked, you were really worried."

    I''d been scared to death about losing her. It tore my heart at that thought alone.

    "She''s actually doing better. The meds the doctor gave her are working even though they leave her drowsy. She''s actually taking a nap now.¡±

    I prefer her to be drowsy but alright. If that''s what it takes for her to be her old self and get better than, be it.

    "That''s great... I was worried about her."

    "Me too"

    We pause and I get lost again while staring at the picture in front of me. Liam was standing on top of a mountain, smiling at the camera. He loved hiking. He used to say that it quieted the noise in his mind. It gave him a sense of peace.

    "Look, I know that boss man gave you a week off, but we need the project proposal for tomorrow''s meeting with the client. I wanted to remind you just in case you''d forgotten," she says, once again pulling me back to reality.

    I was an interior designer and I worked for a medium sizedpany. For a long time, I thought of starting my ownpany, but the fear of failure has always hindered me. I don''t know if I''ll ever have the balls to do it, but given that I am now the sole provider, I needed to find a way to make ends meet.

    Lucky for them, I''m always on time. I like being punctual in every area of my life, so despite being home, I''d made sure that the project waspleted on time.

    I was just about to answer her when my doorbellrings.

    "Someone is at the door, June," I tell her distractedly. "Let me answer it first, then I''ll send the project immediately after."

    "Sure, no problem."

    Hanging up, I toss my phone on the sofa before standing up and heading towards the door.

    I wasn''t expecting anyway, but it could be one of the neighbors checking up on us.

    Pulling open the door, a shocked gasp leaves my mouth when my eyes sh with a pair of grey ones.

    "Hello, Harper... or should I say, ex-wife?"

    You''ve got to be fucking kidding me.

 Chapter 0374

    I stare at him,pletely shocked. I immediately close my mouth just so I don''t look stupid staring at him with my jaw dropped.

    Never have I ever imagined that my path would cross with that of Gabriel. I assumed that the day he divorced me was thest day that I would set my eyes on him.

    I know you''re probably wondering about the tabloids and gossip channels on TV, but I that''s not my jam. I''m too busy to focus on what''s going on with celebrities.

    "Aren''t you going to invite me in?" his deep voice interrupts my thoughts.

    I take a deep breath and pull myself together. Now wasn''t the time to lose my focus.

    "What are doing here?"

    Him being here was more than a surprise, and I also know that it wasn''t a coincidence. Not at all. The Gabriel, I know, doesn''t do things without a reason. If he is here willingly, then there is something that he wants.

    Do you really want to find out what he wants? An inside voice asks.

    My answer is immediate. No, I don''t want to find out. Whatever he''s here for can''t be good for me, and it would be even more terrible if he found out about her.

    "You know what? I don''t care, please leave," I square my shoulders and tell him.

    He looks at me confused, before the confusion disappears and he smirks at me arrogantly.

    "Let me in, Harp," His tone is dark and demanding.

    Looking at him now and hearing the tone of voice he''s using, reminds me of the time we were married. He was always cold and arrogant towards me. Always looking for ways to hurt me and destroy my self- confidence.

    Too bad for him that I''m no longer the na?ve, stupid girl who was in love with him. I am no longer, the weak, spineless girl he used to bully and hurt. I''vee a long way from the girl who used to beg for scraps of his attention. He managed to kill that side of him and it will be a cold day in hell before I ever let her rise up from the ashes of my pain.

    "No!" I snap, feeling my anger and bitterness rise inside me.

    "I don''t like repeating myself, Harp."

    "First of all, it''s Harper, only my loved ones get to call me Harper... And second of all, I also don''t like repeating myself, so, good fucking bye, Gabriel."

    He used to hate being called Gabriel, so I add at the end just to piss the arrogant ass off.

    I go to m the door in his face, but he stops me. Pushing the door wider, he walks in like he owns the damn apartment, sliding past me.

    I breathe in, the need to punch him in his arrogant, good-looking face, consuming me. How can one person be so egoistic? And howe I never noticed it when I was younger?

    "Sit down, we need to talk." he says, taking a seat on my sofa.

    My apartment is small, and most things are secondhand. When I left him, I got nothing from him, and since my family''spany had already gone down by the time my brother died, I literally had nothing. Looking at me now, you wouldn''t believe that I was born into money or that my family was one of the top wealthy families'' years ago. Liam didn''te from money, in fact, he was an orphan, and we didn''t live luxuriously. Everything we had, we worked hard for it. We may not have had the best money can buy, but we werefortable, we were happy, and that was enough for us. "Harper?"

    I turn to look at him. He looked so out of ce with his expensive suit and shoes that cost more than my three month sry.

    Sighing, I focus and take a seat opposite him. The faster I can get him to say what he wants, the faster he can leave.

    "Talk," I say, making him smirk.

    "It''s funny how you think you''re the one in control," His lips twists into a cruel smile.

    My hand is just itching to smack the smirk off his face. "Just say what you came here to say and leave. Hopefully, I don''t have to see your face ever again after this" "Trust me, you''ll be seeing a lot of me in the months toe."

    My heart starts beating at an rming speed. Could he have found out? No, that can''t be it. I took serious measures to make sure that no one ever found out about my little secret.

    I calm down a little, but not enough. My curiosity was piqued. Gabriel hated me. It''s no secret at all. How he treated me when we were married and the fact that he kept our marriage hidden from everyone else proved that he didn''t care for me.

    I''ve never gotten any proof, but deep down, I know my brother may have had something to do with Gabriel marrying me. You see, I once mentioned to Andrew that I had a huge crush on Gabriel, next thing I know, two yearster, I''m at the register''s office getting married to him.

    I was so in love with him that I didn''t think anything of it. Like I said, I was a na?ve fool to believe that Gabriel would even look at me twice, let alone marry me. It was after, that I realized that he didn''t feel a damn thing for me except hate. He broke my eighteen-year-old heart in ways I wouldn''t wish on anyone.

    Pulling myself from the painful memories, I focus on him only to find his stormy grey eyes boring into me.

    Clearing my throat, I ask, "What did you want to discuss?"

    He gives me a predatory smile that sends shivers down my back. "I have a preposition for you."

    For the second time today, he manages to shock me.

    He has to be joking, right? But staring at him, his eyes tell me that this isn''t a joke. He was damn serious.

 Chapter 0375

    "No!" I blurt the word, shocking even myself with the ferocity behind it.

    He stares at me with an unnamed emotion. Within seconds, his face is nk, and a certain coldness takes its ce.

    I swallow at the dangerous current that fills the room. This was the Gabriel I was used. The Gabriel I know. The hard man who turns dangerous when he doesn''t get his way.

    "Is that so? You''re not even going to listen to what I have to say? What I am proposing?" He now looks calm, but I know it''s just a fa?ade. There is a very dangerous beast underneath the suit and tie. A shark that will tear you to pieces way before you can even figure out what the fuck is happening or how you ended up in his clutches.

    "No," I repeat. "I don''t want to be a part of whatever you''re trying to propose," I answer confidently.

    Making a deal with Gabriel is like making a deal with the devil, and who in their right mind would want to do that? I may be a lot of things, but stupid isn''t one of them. I like where my life is right now, with Gabriel nowhere in the picture.

    It would be so foolish and careless of me to get involved with the man who hurt me. The man who broke me and treated me worse than trash. Even if I had only myself to think about, I still wouldn''t get involved with him. Going anywhere near Gabriel will guarantee more heartbreak and I don''t think my heart can handle any more of that, after all, my heart and soul still have the scars from ourst involvement. "Are you sure you don''t want to reconsider? I can be really persuasive if I want to." He leans back on the sofa and crosses his legs, with that same damned arrogant smirk ying on his face.

    I straighten my spine and answer, "Yes, I am sure."

    "Are you sure? I have something that you might be interested in."

    That makes my curiosity perk up a little bit. Knowing the dangers, I push it down and silence it. After all, curiosity killed the cat, right?

    Shifting my eyes from his, I answer. "I highly doubt that, Gabriel. There isn''t anything in this world that you could offer, that''ll make me change my mind."

    Unless he can bring back my loved ones from the dead, I doubt I would be interested in anything else. Especially if ites from him.

    "What about your family''spany?" he casually asks, making my eyes snap to his.

    I can see it in his eyes. His pride and arrogance makes him think he has me where he wants me. That the thought of getting my family''s legacy back will bring me to heal and will have me agreeing to the deal. "That''s not possible. Unity Ventures went down years ago. I was there when it happened, remember?" I sneer.

    Did he forget that I was there when my brother tried his best to revive thepany? I was there when Andrew did all he could to save it, but it was toote. I was there when it finally sank, and we were left with nothing.

    I rub my chest, still feeling the loss. My grandfather loved thatpany with all his heart. It was his second baby. Mom loved it too, but she loved my dad more. Maybe if she had taken over as CEO instead of giving the position to my dad, it would still be standing.

    "Nothing is impossible, dear ex-wife," he begins and I just know I''m not going to like what he''s about to say next. "You see, part of marrying you was that I got thepany in case something happened to your brother. If it weren''t for the fact Andrew was too focused on his illness, he would have realized that Unity Ventures could be revived."

    A chill goes down my back as what he says registers. Andrew was diagnosed with cancer when I was eighteen. He died three years after battling with it. Three years after I got married. Gabriel didn''t waste time. He divorced me before I even put my loving brother to the ground.

 Chapter 0376

    "What are you implying?" my hands are all shaking, as a new kind of pain washes over me.

    He uncrosses his legs and leans forward. "Simple, I kept thepany and built it back up. Of course, I renamed it and made it under my image. It''s one of my manypanies now."

    Anger and pain washes over me. I should have seen thising. How the hell did I underestimate his cruelty? He knew what thatpany meant to me. It was the only thing, the only connection I had to my family, yet he made me believe that it was destroyed.

    "Why?" I whisper, as tears fill my eyes. "Why didn''t you tell me? Why did you keep it?"

    "I kept it aspensation for having to marry you and wasting three years of my life with you"

    That did. "You bastard!" I lunge at him.

    His words tore me to pieces and his actions all but destroyed me. Did he hate me this much? Keeping something he knew I loved and didn''t even belong to him?

    "You refused to give me anything in the divorce alimony yet you kept Unity Venture, you arrogant selfish prick!" I shout, blindly hitting him.

    I was devastated and running on nothing but pure rage. I never thought I would hate Gabriel more than I hate him right now.

    "Will youe down!" he shouts right back at me, trying to control my flying hands.

    "Why don''t you take your stupidmand and shove up your wrinkled balls!"

    He manages to cage me and prevent my hands from hitting him. This just pisses me off even more. I want to perform as much damage as I can before I can finally kick him out of my apartment. "Are you calm?" he asks. We are both breathing hard.

    "Not even close!"

    "Look, I''ll give you back your family''spany on one condition..."

    I pull myself away from him, shoving him in the process. He doesn''t budge, but at least it gives me back some kind of control.

    "What condition?"

    He takes a deep breath, like he''s preparing to get the words out. By the look in his eyes, this isn''t something he wants to do. That alone makes me happy. Anything that causes him some kind of torture brings me joy, especially after what he took from me.

    "Marry me. Again" he finally says, "And thepany is yours"

    My eyes budge out in what I''m assuming is horror because he winces at the look on my face.

    "Hell no! I''d rather wash my vagina in acid than marry you again"

    "That''s a little extreme" he grumbles, his eyes turning into twin stormy pools.

    "Exactly! That says a lot about how I find a marriage to you repulsive"

    He sighs, as if he was dealing with a stubborn child, "What about thepany?"

    "I don''t want it. I don''t want anything that you''ve had your greedy paws on. You said it yourself, you turned it to you own image, why would I want it back when I despise you so much?"

    He has probably erased everything that made Unity Ventures, the Beckett''s family pride and joy. If he came to me with this proposal a year after we divorced then maybe I would have taken him on the offer, bu not now.

    "Is that your final, decision?" his eyes and voice are both hard, and that should have been warning enough that he wouldn''t stop at my refusal to agree.

    "Yes!" I shout, desperate for him to get out of my home.

    "Then you leave me no choice"

    I was confused with this statement and I was about to ask him when one of the bedroom doors opened.

    "Mom, what''s with all the screaming? I''m trying to nap"

    Shit! Fucking shit!

 Chapter 0377

    Fuck! Why me? Why now? Why today, of all days? Fate has already established that she hates me, but this is too much even for that bitch. Why the hell did she loathe me so much?

    To be honest, I''m afraid of looking up. Afraid of looking at both Gabriel and Lilly. I try my best to calm down my erratic, beating heart, but it''s no use. I felt like I was going to have a damn heart attack. I could literally feel the sweat running down my back.

    My anger at Gabriel was already gone, and in its ce was pure, undiluted fear. When I woke up, I never imagined that this would happen. That Gabriel would suddenlye to my house out of the blue. That he and Lilly would meet.

    At first, I was careful because I knew Lilly was asleep due to her cold, but after what Gabriel revealed, Ipletely forgot and blew up. That was my fucking fault. I didn''t have anyone to me for this cluster fuck.

    "Mom?" her sweet voice calls me, and I look up, unable to deny my daughter.

    Looking at her, I''m unable to form a sentence.

    When I don''t answer, she turns to Gabriel and asks, "Who are you, and why are you fighting with my mom?"

    Their eyes sh and I see my Lilly take a step back as if something has just rammed into her. That pulls me out of a trance.

    "Lilly, go to your room," I say unsteadily, and she turns when she hears my voice.

    I can see the questions running through her mind. She was a sharp girl, and I know there is no escaping the curiosity that she''s sure to hit me with.

    "But mom..."

    "Now Lilly!" I all but shout. I''ve never shouted at her before, but I was frustrated. "Go to your room and don''te out until I tell you to."

    She wants to argue, I can tell, but she also knows not to argue with me. Giving Gabriel onest look, she turns and goes to her room, closing her door quietly.

    I know she''ll definitely be eavesdropping, so I grab Gabriel and drag him outside. We lived on thest floor, and we had a rooftop area, so that''s where I take him. I needed to get him to leave as soon as possible, so I could deal with my daughter.

    When we get there, I start pacing. Panic had taken over. I could literally feel my lungs constricting. I tried breathing in and then out, but it didn''t work. I was on edge.

    I stop and stare at Gabriel, but he looks unbothered. Maybe he didn''t notice anything, right? If he had, he would be giving me shit right now. He would be spitting fire, ready to destroy. Yeah, that''s it; he didn''t notice anything. With that, I manage to calm myself down.

    "So, about my proposal..." he begins, calmly.

    My jaw drops. I should be happy that he didn''t notice anything, but then the fact that the only thing that''s on his mind is the damn proposal really surprises me. I mean, how could he not notice? Gosh, I was giving myself whish.

    "I still stand by my answer, Gabriel," I tell him after I''ve gotten myself under control.

    "Seriously? Even after I''ve given you a chance to own thepany, a chance to get out of your poverty-stricken life and once again be wealthy, a chance toe back into the society you were born into you still won''t ept my proposal?" He looks puzzled. As if he really couldn''t understand how I could turn him down.

    The answer was simple: I wanted nothing to do with him. Nothing to do with the life I left behind, especially knowing that those same people turned their backs on us once ourpany went bankrupt. "Yes." My answer is short and curt.

    I just want to go back to my daughter and forget that Gabriel ever sought me out with his ridiculous proposal.

    "Why the hell not?" He was beginning to get angry.

    "The better question is, why would you be desperate to marry me again? You hate me, Gabriel, so what is so important that would make you seek me out years after our divorce?" I was really curious. Something drove him to want this, and I want to know what it is, so I continue to question him. "What brought you running to my doorstep, Gabriel? If I remember correctly, you couldn''t stand me. You couldn''t wait to divorce me. So why the hell would you want to marry me again?"

    He tries to hide it, but I see it in his eyes and in the way his jaw clenches. I was right, there is a reason why he wants me to agree to his proposal, and it''s something big. Something he can''t escape. "That''s not your fucking concern. What I want is for you to agree," he evades the questionpletely.

    Fine by me. If he doesn''t want me to know, then that''s okay. It''s not like it would change my mind. I had already made my decision, and there''s no way I''m going to change it. "Then I think we are done talking. You can show yourself out of the building." I finish, and was about to walk away when his next words stops me cold in my tracks.

    "Did you really think I wouldn''t notice?" His deep voice sends shivers down my back, but not in a good way.

    Fuck! I didn''t want to turn around, but I do. "Notice what?"

    "That Lilly is my daughter... Those grey eyes are a dead giveaway, Harper," A muscle ticks in his jaw, and the dangerous atmosphere that usually surrounds him intensifies.

    I swallow hard. "That''s not a giveaway, Gabriel. Millions of people have grey eyes."

    "Not those grey eyes. That is a family trait only the Woods possess. My great-grandfather had them, as did my granddad, and so do my father, Rowan, and my nephew. So try again, Harper."

    I was na?ve to think he wouldn''t notice. What did I tell you about Gabriel? He''s a shark. Always waiting for the perfect time to strike and this was it.

    My fear intensifies. I could feel it in every pore of my body, clogging my pores and suffocating me in the process.

    I push it back and puff out my chest, trying to look fearless and brave. "So what? It doesn''t change a damn thing."

    Heughs. A cold and distantugh that is terrifying.

    "It sure does," he begins. "I can prove she''s my daughter, so here''s what''s going to happen. You are going to agree to the marriage proposal or else..."

    He doesn''t finish the sentence, but obviously a threat has been made.

    I prove that, despite my knowledge of who Gabriel is, I''m still naive, and stupid when ites to him because I ask, "Or else what?"

    He smirks at me. "Or else I will take her away from you, and we both know how easy that will be."

    Yeah, that bitch, Fate, definitely despises me.

 Chapter 0378

    "You can''t be serious," I whispered, trying to wrap my head around what he had just said.

    Like I said, I know Gabe and I know this isn''t an idle threat. Given that, I still needed to make sure, because after all, this is Lilly we were talking about. She''s not only my daughter, but also my life. I couldn''t let him take her from me. It would surely kill me.

    "Do I look like I''m joking?" he asks as his eyes sear into me. "I can assure you that I''m fucking serious, Harper."

    Have you ever felt like you''ve been hit, even though nothing has happened? That is how I feel right now. A phantom hit, right in my gut. I force myself to breathe through the pain. I couldn''t afford to lose it right now, even though I wanted nothing more than to break down, cry and curse Gabriel all the way to hell.

    "Why are you doing this?" I asked, close to tears. "You divorced me and kicked me out, Gabriel. I left, just like you wanted, and I''ve never bothered you again. Why can''t you do the same? Why do you want to turn my life upside down?"

    I just couldn''t understand it. I couldn''t understand why the hell he was doing this. Gabriel is a yboy. in and simple. I don''t see him settled as a family guy. He wasn''t a good husband, and I can bet everything I own that he won''t be a good father.

    "Don''t give me that crap, Harper... You want to start questioning my motives. Let''s start by asking why you hid my child from me. I think that is a better question."

    He had been calm, but now he looked pissed. Actually, pissed is an understatement. He looked downright furious. He seemed ready to kill, and it''s me he wanted to end.

    "You kept my daughter from me for years; never once did you reach out to let me know I had fathered a child. Then, as if that wasn''t enough, you had the audacity to let another man fill in the capacity I should have been allowed to fill in as her father.

    Did youugh behind my back every time she called him dad? Did you and your husband have a field day keeping both me and Lilly in the dark? If I hadn''t found out, would you have taken that secret to the grave, Harper?

    This shit you pulled is low even for you, or was it your way of paying me back because I didn''t love you? Take revenge on me by hiding the fact that we have a daughter. Your attempt at keeping my daughter from me is pathetic, and I hate you even more for that."

    His words hit like shards of ss. I can''t escape them or how they tear into me and slice open my somewhat healed heart. It''s funny, really, how we delude ourselves into thinking that we''ve moved on. Only for something to trigger us and bring us back to the pain that we thought we''d already moved past.

    It''s been years since I''ve heard him say that he hates me. I thought that I was okay. That I''d healed. That I''d moved on with my life. Hearing him say those words takes me back to when we were married. Hearing those words from him evokes pain as fresh as it was years ago.

    "I didn''t keep her from you out of malice," I whispered, trying my hardest to hide the pain his words evoked.

    That''s the other thing that hurts. I shouldn''t care about what he thinks, but it hurts to know that he thinks I would deliberately hide Lilly just to hurt him and seek revenge. It just proves that he didn''t know me at all. If he had taken time to get to know me, he would know that I would never do anything like that.

    "And you expect me to believe that? You''re a devious woman who used her brother to force me to marry her; I wouldn''t put anything past you," He growls, his words aimed to hurt and annihte me. "Then why would you want to marry me again, if I''m such a despicable person?" I snapped, angry and hurt, but I''d be damned if I let him see it.

    "Like I said, it''s none of your fucking business."

    "Yet, it somehow involves me," I said bitterly.

    Anger radiates from him in waves. He can join the fucking club. Not only was I pissed, but I was also hurt. I hate that Gabriel still has the power to hurt me, and he is wielding it like a powerful weapon. "You''ll marry me or else I''ll take Lilly with me. I think it''s time she knew her biological dad." He res at me with so much animosity, it''s a wonder I''m still alive and breathing. "Even if you refuse, I think I can get them to ept Lilly as a constion prize."

    I don''t think I was meant to hear thest part, but I did anyway. Those words turn my stomach, because they just confirm what I know about Gabriel. He uses people, and he will use Lilly if he can''t get me to agree to his stupid marriage proposal.

    "I won''t let you take my daughter, Gabriel."

    My fear and pain fall away and my motherly instincts take over. I won''t let him use, hurt and discard Lilly like he did with me.

    "Why the hell not? She''s my daughter!" he bellows, the sound loud and thundering.

    "Have you seen yourself, huh?" I began. "You''re cold and dead inside, Gabriel. Why would I let my daughter be raised by a heartless and unfeeling man, even if that man is her biological dad? This is one of the reasons I didn''t tell you I was pregnant. I didn''t want my child to turn out like you."

    I wanted Lilly to be kind andpassionate. I wanted her to have a heart, to be caring, humble and loving. I knew she''d turn out the opposite if Gabriel was in her life.

    "You''re selfish, proud and arrogant. You don''t care if you hurt people or use them to get what you want. You have no loving bone in your body, so why would I let Lilly go with you? Why would I allow my precious daughter to be raised in a cold home by her cold, selfish, and yboy sperm donor?"

    I see something pass in his eyes, but it''s gone before I can read what it is. Anyway, it doesn''t matter; I am sticking to my guns. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Gabriel has already shown me who he is, and I know he hasn''t changed at all.

    "Given you don''t want me raising her, then you''ll have no problem agreeing to the proposal." The words are ground through clenched teeth.

    I red, wishing I had never met the unfeeling beast standing before me.

    I will do anything for Lilly. If I go against Gabriel, I''ll lose her. He has his name, money, and power backing him up. I have nothing.

    Sighing, I nodded. I can''t lose Lilly. I have no other choice but to agree.

 Chapter 0379

    Emma.

    I remember the first time I saw Calvin. We were in high school, and he''d just transferred to our school on a schrship. I was the weingmittee chaidy, becausee on, I was good at everything, and who wouldn''t want to have me show them around? Who wouldn''t want to see my face on their first day at a new school?

    I am not bragging or anything, but I knew who I was and what I was worth. I was popr, head of the cheerleaders and a top performing student. I had everything going on for me. Wealth, beauty and brains. Most importantly, I was down to earth and so, I was well liked.

    Of course, I was hated by some, namely Ava and other girls, but that was because I had something they knew they couldn''t have. Rowan.

    Every girl wanted him. It''s no secret. Just like every guy except for Travis and Gabe wanted me. We made the perfect couple. We were not a couple by the time Calvin joined our school, but I wasn''t worried. It was inevitable that we would end up together. It wasn''t a matter of if, but of when.

    So back to Calvin, I remember going to the principal''s office to pick him up. When I saw him, I didn''t think much of him. After all, he was not even close to my type. He was a nerd (not that I have anything against nerds), didn''t know how to dress, and was so skinny that he kept pulling up his trousers because they kept falling. He had these huge, round, ugly sses, and his face was covered with red pimples. The only good thing about him was that, unlike some of the nerds in our school, he knew what hygiene was.

    As usual, just like what happened when boys met me for the first time, he was love-stricken and immediately had a crush on me. I wasn''t bothered because, one, I was used to it, and two, I thought it would go away after some time. Only it didn''t, and he soon became a nuisance, just like Ava.

    Sometimes I wonder if things would have been easy if he and Ava had fallen for each other. Would they still be together? Would Rowan and I have continued strong? Would we have been happy?

    I push those thoughts away because, at the end of the day, they don''t matter. Rowan was right, regretting the past meant regretting Noah and Gunner. If things had gone differently, Noah and Gunner wouldn''t be here.

    Gunner, my heart aches when I think of him. I rub my heart, trying to ease the pain. I am a bad mother, the worst kind. I never held him when he was born. Nor did I get a first look like most mothers do. I hate myself for that. I hate myself for looking at him as a nuisance. Like a thing that stood in the way between Rowan and me.

    I was stupid and selfish, and now I am paying the price. I could have been like Rowan. Rowan, who epted responsibility. Rowan, who loved Noah even though he wasn''t nned. Rowan, who became a really great father. At that time, he hated Ava, but instead of talking it out on Noah and treating him like shit, like I did with Gunner, he loved his son wholeheartedly. I was a monster, and I was starting to ept that.

    "Are you okay?" Molly asks, pulling me from my thoughts.

    Worry was written all over her face. They were all worried about me, but they shouldn''t be. This was karma getting back at, after all, she was a fucking bitch.

    Molly hade to town because she was worried about me. She said she couldn''t help me when she was miles away, so she took a two-week leave, packed her suitcases, and flew here. "Yeah," I simply answered.

    "You can''t lie to me, Emma. I know you like the back of my hand. Now can we try that again?"

    And she was right. No one knows me like she does. Not even my mother. She knows how I tick, how I react, and how I deal with heavy emotions. She knows me like she knows me better than she knows herself, and vice versa.

    "If I''m being honest, I don''t know. I don''t know how I''m doing. I don''t know if I am all right. I don''t know if I''ll ever get better. I just don''t know. I feel numb. I feel lost. I feel like I''m drowning."

    Everything was crashing into me all at once, and I didn''t know what to do. How do I tell her that guilt is killing me? How do I tell her that regret is a constantpanion? How the hell do I tell her that I am losing myself each and every day?

    I treated Calvin and Gunner so horribly? How do I get back from that? How do I make amends for treating them like trash? I put them through so much shit because I was selfish, and I only thought about myself.

    I fall on my bed, tiredly and allow the tears to flow.

    I used to view Ava as the viin. As the evil monster that hurt and broke me without care. I promised myself that I would never be like her, but I became worse.

    I hurt and broke Calvin and Gunner. Over and over without care. I ignored the pain in their eyes, every time I walked away. Every time I refused to acknowledge their suffering. Every time I ignored them like they didn''t exist. I was worse than Ava because I was intentional, unlike Ava, who was drunk. I knew I was hurting them, but I continued doing it anyway.

    "I feel like a monster. The world''s nastiest bitch title should be given to me," I clutched my chest. Fuck, it hurts.

    Ava was right. I fell. I was once someone people could look up to, but not anymore. How did I fall so low?

    "What do I do, Molly?" I asked through my sobs. "How do I make things right?"

    This is the one question I''ve been struggling with. When you''ve messed up so badly, how do you make things right? How do you redeem yourself?

 Chapter 0380

    Gabe.

    It''s been a week since I met Harper again after years of distance. I never thought that I would seek her out, but life has a funny way of twisting things.

    When we got divorced, I thought, ''Good riddance''. I''d wanted her gone, and the moment that chance came, I didn''t think twice. I was happy to get rid of her and never look back. I didn''t care what happened to her or where she went or did. She hasn''t even crossed my mind since the day she left my apartment. Well, that is, until the board of directors started making noise.

    My hands fist as I think of the measures I had to take because of them. It''s not like I needed the money or anything. Hell, I even had my ownpanies, but Wood Corporation is a family legacy. There''s just something about working for thepany that your ancestors built. The pride and joy thate with it are immeasurable.

    The board knew this, so they knew where to hit. They knew there was no damn way I was going to let them kick me out, so they knew I''dply. Which I did.

    Which brings me to now. I stare at my driver as he helps Harper and Lilly load the luggage into the trunk. My eyes focused on Harper. I won''t deny that she''s changed. That''s a clear-cut fact.

    Long gone is the awkward teenager who didn''t know how to dress or conduct herself. Her hair is longer than I remember and where she was skinny before, now she has curves in all the right ces. Curves that could drive any man crazy, especially with how her hips swing when she''s walking.

    Fuck, I may hate her, but I''m a visual man, and the visuals that her body is providing me with are definitely X-rated.

    She''s also stunning, something my brain immediately points out. She reminded me of the ugly duck that transformed into a beautiful swan.

    As if sensing my gaze, she lifts her head. Her obsidian eyes sh with mine, as she gives me a hard re. I just smirked, not even ashamed that she fucking caught me eyeing her up.

    "I''m done, sir." My driver said, making me break the stare down between me and my ex-wife, soon to be wife.

    "Let''s get going then... I''ve already missed a week''s worth of work,," I announced, and waited for Lilly and Harper to get in before I did.

    Once I''m in, Jared starts the car, and we are off.

    "You still haven''t told me who he is, mom," Lilly broke the awkward silence. "Or where we are going and for how long... Also, why does he look familiar?"

    I turned to my daughter. The word still feels so foreign to me. I still can''t believe that I have a daughter or that Lilly hid her from me.

    I never nned on having children. Never nned on interrupting my bachelor life by getting married and having kids. Apart from Noah, Iris, and Gunner, who is almost always at Rowan''s house, I never really liked kids, and I never desired to have any.

    Now that Lilly is here and I know about her, I don''t really know what to do with her. Sure, I''m a good uncle, but I don''t think I can make a good fucking father. As heartless as it may sound, I was just using Lilly to get what I wanted... And that is her mom agreeing to sign the marriage proposal.

    "He is... he''s..." Harper''s brows furrowed as she tried to find words to exin things.

    I can see Harper struggling with forming an answer, and it makes me chuckle. Anything that makes her ufortable makes me damn happy. I still haven''t forgiven her for trapping me into a marriage I didn''t fucking want.

    "I''m a friend of your mother, from when we were young," I responded after seeing Harper struggle with words to answer Lilly.

    I don''t know why I didn''t tell her the truth. I could have easily told her that I was her father, but I didn''t. Trust me, it''s not out of respect for the man she considered her father, but I don''t want to dig deep into why I didn''t want her to know the truth yet.

    "Okay, then where are we going? From the looks of how much we''ve packed, it looks like we will be staying wherever we are going for some time... And, my friends from school told me that you told the teache I wouldn''t be going back for the rest of the semester."

    There is no denying that she''s clever, but what did I expect? Not that I''m being cocky or anything, but my blood flows through her veins. It''s a given she''d be as sharp as a tack.

    "I''ll exin everything once we get to where we are going," Harper replied, trying to evade the question.

    Lilly stared at her. Her grey eyes piercing those of her mom. I try to hide my grin because, fuck it. She was a Wood through and through, down to that intense stare. Noah used to fascinate me with how he could stare down people twice or three times his age. Now I''m seeing the same thing with my daughter, and it''s fascinating, to say the least.

    "Sir, we are here," Jared said, opening the door.

    I didn''t even realize that we had reached the airport or that the car had stopped. Clearing my throat, I got down. Lilly and Harper follow the suite, while Jared follows us to my private jet with their luggage. It was time to go home and exin how I had a daughter that no one knew existed. This is definitely going to be a long fucking week.

 Chapter 0381

    Harper.

    "This is so cool!" Lilly screamed as we stepped into Gabriel''s private jet.

    I don''t say anything. I just looked around the spacious area. It is cool, as Lilly put it, and I did admire it, but there was no way I was going to admit that in front of Gabriel''s arrogant ass.

    "I can''t believe we get to ride on a private jet... My friends will totally be jealous when I tell them." She continued to gush as I just stared at her.

    Being here felt so surreal. Seeing the signs of wealth all around the spacious space, brought back so many memories that I''d tried forgetting.

    It''s been so long since I wasst in a private jet. I remember thest time I ever used a private jet was a few months before my dad took over thepany as CEO.

    I loved my father, but he was just not meant to lead anyone. Especially a multi-million dorpany. He ran it to the ground within a year of taking charge of it. Because of the bad decisions he made and his bad leadership, Unity Ventures lost contracts worth millions and acquired a lot of debt.

    We had to sell everything we had. Cars, private jets, our yacht, and properties. Eventually, we had to sell the house we lived in. Even then, it still wasn''t enough to settle the debts thepany had rued. Daddy was a good man; he was ambitious, but he was terrible at doing business. So many times I heard the board talking to him and asking him to step down, but he refused. His pride wouldn''t let it, and in the end, it became our downfall.

    Mom had been the only child of my grandparents, hence the heiress. I believe she would have done an exceptional job at leading thepany. After all, Grandpa had trained her himself since she was old enough to read and write.

    The problem was that Dad loved thepany, and Mom loved my dad. She did everything to make him happy, and that included handing over the family legacy to him even though she knew he wasn''t capable.

    Dad was also stubborn. He refused to take advice from anyone because he thought he knew better. That his ns were better. If only he had listened, maybe Andrew would still be alive right now. "Mom"

    I looked down to find Lilly shaking my hand.

    "What?"

    "You haven''t answered me... Have you ever been on a private jet before?"

    Lilly doesn''t know anything about my past. She doesn''t know that our family was once influential. Hell she doesn''t even know that this isn''t where I was born or that I had a family.

    She''s tried asking about it a couple of times, but I always brushed it off. It''s not that I hated my family; it''s just too painful to talk about them. To talk about Andrew, her uncle, who I used to love more than anyone.

    I also don''t like talking about them because a part of me mes my parents for Andrew''s death.

    Feeling the familiar pain, I pull myself back from the heartbreaking memories and nod my head.

    "Yes, but it was a long time ago," I replied, unable to stop the catch in my voice.

    She stared at me, her intense gaze prating my soul. I loved her eyes, but I also hated them because when she stared at me like that, it used to remind me of Gabriel. He was also a part of the painful past didn''t want to remember.

    "Okay, let''s get settled," Gabriel said behind me. He was so close that I could feel his warm breath on the back of my neck.

    Lilly''s eyes shifted between the two of us, but she didn''t say anything. I know my daughter and I know she''s trying to figure out who Gabriel is to me.

    She finally turns towards him and asks, "Can I sit anywhere I want?"

    "Sure"

    After Gabriel answers, she squeals and leaves in search of the perfect seat. She finally decides on a window seat at the front. She sits down and buckles up.

    I smiled at her excitement.

    This isn''t the first time we''ve been on a ne, but it''s the first time she''s been on a private jet, so it''s obvious she''ll be excited. We used to take vacations once a year, after Liam and I had saved our asses to be able to afford them. We''d always fly economy, so this was a new experience for her.

    "Are you going to move, or am I going to drag you to your seat?" Gabriel''s voice, dripping with arrogance, cuts through my happy bubble.

    I just red at him before taking a seat. To my annoyance, instead of taking another seat, he took the one right next to me.

    After buckling up, he turns to face me, and I have to keep reminding myself of the reasons why I hate him. He is a devilishly handsome man, and he knew how to wield his looks against women.

    Even back then, when he was in his twenties, he still had women falling at his feet. He was good-looking, but in a boyish kind of way. It''s different now that he''s in his thirties. He is now all male and oozes nothing but pure sex appeal.

    "Harper?" His deep voice prated my fog.

    "What?"

    "I asked, how does it feel to be back in thep of luxury after a long time?" he asked arrogantly. "You see, I''m doing you a favor. I bet it wasn''t easy scrapping by and living like a house rat."

    Yeah, the warm feelings I had seconds ago have definitely now vanished. His vanity and insult are a p back to reality. He may have a face like the Greek gods, but his personality is rotten to the core. I must have been stupid and blinded to have fallen in love with him.

    I take a calming breath, ¡°It''s sad that money has given you luxuries but has done nothing to improve your personality. The fact that you''re insulting me to make yourself feel better says a lot about you. It''s been said that bullies bully others because they suffer from low self-esteem and an inferiorityplex. Could it be that you''re trying topensate for something?"

    I smiled sweetly as I watched his jaws clench. Furry reces the smug look he had minutes ago and damn, does it make me feel good to get under his skin. "Why you..." he goes to say, but he gets cut off by the pilot announcing that we''re about to take off.

    I can feel his annoyance, and it''s like a sweet aroma.

    Bring it on, Gabriel. You''ll soon discover that I''m no longer the weakmb that bowed to you. You push and I''ll push right back

 Chapter 0382

    Staring outside through the window, I tried to ignore the imposing man next to me. My mind was on everything that was awaiting me in the country where I was born. When I left everything and everyone I knew behind, I thought I would never return.

    I''m not ashamed to say that I was not nning to let Gabriel know he had fathered a child. Don''t look at me like that, I had my reasons, and I know you''ve already guessed some of them.

    Lilly was a secret I nned to take to my grave. Apart from her unique grey eyes, she looked like me and nothing like her father. Only people who knew the Woods would guess from her eyes that she was one of them... And what was the chance of meeting their acquaintances when I was no longer part of that world?

    As much as soap operas try to romanticize things, the truth is that the rich rarely mingle with the poor. Most of them have a stick up their asses and consider them low-ss. It''s sad to say that my parents were also like that, but Andrew and I weren''t. Thanks to our house manager, Mia. She partly raised us since, most of the time, my parents were out of the country on business. She''s the one who taught us to never look down on others and to always be kind.

    I feel a pang when I remember her. She was like a second mother to me. Just like with everyone else, life took her away from me a few months before I turned seventeen. I know fate hates me, but sometimes think she cursed me, otherwise, why is it that almost everyone I cared about and loved is dead?

    Pushing those thoughts away, I focused on the scenery below me. Dwelling on them will just make me bitter with life. I can''t allow that, not when I still have Lilly. She''s my happiness and peace.

    "When did it happen?" his voice pulled me back, making me turn towards him.

    "When did what happen?" I was confused about what he was asking. It was evident in my voice.

    "Lilly," he simply stated.

    My breath hitched when it finally dawned on me what he was asking. This is another thing I never thought I would talk about. Mostly because I am embarrassed. I do love Lilly with all my heart. I''m just embarrassed by how she was conceived.

    "I don''t remember ever sleeping with you," he murmured.

    I sucked air into my lungs. There was no point in hiding it. He already knew of Lilly''s existence, so there was no point in not telling him.

    "I''m not surprised that you don''t, you were drunk," I told him, unable to look into his eyes.

    "So you''re saying you took advantage of me when I was drunk?"

    I scoffed at that. As if anyone would ever take advantage of Gabriel Wood. It was ridiculous.

    "No, I didn''t." I began. "It had been Noah''s birthday, and you left in the afternoon to attend. Do you remember that?"

    I didn''t know much about Rowan, his twin. All I knew was that he''d gotten his girlfriend''s sister pregnant and married her. I heard rumors that Rowan treated her like trash and my heart went to her because we were both in the same boat. We were married to twin brothers who, for some reason, detested us.

    I wasn''t friends with Ava growing up, but I know for sure she wasn''t loved. It was in the snide remarks you would hear her mother and grandparents saying about her and to her during social functions. I always felt sorry for her. So many times I wanted to approach her and befriend her, but I was scared. She always gave off a ''Don''te near me'' vibe.

    "Yes"

    Of course, I was hurt that he didn''t take me with him. I knew he didn''t want his family to know and that hurt more than anything.

    "Well, I was getting ready to sleep when you came home. It was around eleven. You shouted my name, and I thought that something was wrong, so I rushed down, only to find you leaning against the kitchen counter.

    You basicallymanded me toe to you, and when I did, you grabbed and kissed me. I was confused, since you''ve never touched me before, so I asked you if you were drunk. I tasted it on you but I wanted confirmation. You told me you only had a little bit and I believed you because you didn''t seem drunk. You were even standing normally."

 Chapter 0383

    Taking a deep breath, I tried to separate myself from the memories of that night. It had been the best night of my life, but what followed after nearly destroyed me.

    "I asked you who you had drunk with. You told me it was Rowan. You then told me how you were hurting seeing your brother so broken and hurt. How it destroyed you that you couldn''t help him. You couldn''t give him what his heart desired, which was Emma.

    We continued talking, but then you kissed me again. This time, you didn''t stop. You told me that you wanted to forget, even if it was just for the night. You said that you''d wanted me for a long time, and you could no longer stay away from me.

    You even carried me out of the kitchen and took me to your bedroom. Not once did you stumble, so it confirmed to me that you weren''t drunk and that you really did want me. I should have known not to trust your lying tongue," I finished.

    The next morning, I woke up earlier than him and decided I was going to make him breakfast. After I was done, I went back to the room to wake him up and give him a ss of water.

    I was surprised when he shouted at me, asking me what the hell I was doing in his room. I was in a tiny nightgown and I remember him telling me to stop being so desperate. He''d thought I was there to seduce him.

    "I know you remember this next part. You told me that even if I were thest woman on earth, you would never stick your dick in me. You said that I should stop being desperate for your cock because I would never have it.

    That you''d rather cut off your balls than sleep with me. It dawned on me that you had been drunk the previous night; you were just good at coordinating yourself even when drunk. I almost had a heart attack when it hit me that you didn''t remember a damn thing."

    After his hurtful words, I didn''t say a thing. I just turned around, walked out and went to my room. I cried for nearly three hours. I was broken and hurt. Who knew words could be wielded like a deadly weapon? Two weeks after that, my heart was shattered to more pieces when I got the news that Andrew had passed away. A week after that news, Gabriel divorced me and a day after my brother''s burial, I left the country.

    "How long was it before you realized you were pregnant?" he asked. Until this point, he had been silent.

    "About four months," I sighed. "I wasn''t in a good ce after I left the country. I was still mourning my brother and my failed marriage. I triedmitting suicide. It''s a miracle that Lilly survived. It was as they were performing tests that they discovered I was pregnant."

    With everything that had happened, I didn''t realize that I was pregnant. Lilly had been my saving grace. It was because of her that I held on, when all I wanted was to leave this world behind. She grounded me and she became my lightning rod, anchoring me to this world.

    "Why didn''t you tell me? You could have called and told me.¡± His anger was visible as his eyes darkened to a stormy shade.

    I was about to answer him when the inte came on.

    "This is the pilot speaking, we are about tond. Please fasten your seat belts."

    I guess the answer to hisst question will have to wait.

    I was back home after almost a decade away. Something told me that things were about to get messy, and I don''t think I''m ready for the chaos that being back here is going to unleash.

 Chapter 0384

    I held on to the seat''s armrest as the ne touched down. A certain panic ovees me as I think of what will be awaiting me. What will be waiting for me and Lilly.

    It continues to rise as I think of introducing her to the life I left behind years ago. The panic grips me as I imagine the questions she''ll have. Not only about my past, but also about Gabriel. I almost pass out when I think of how I''ll answer those questions.

    I know I''ve hidden a lot from her. That''s what worries me. That she won''t understand and that she''ll get mad when she realizes just how many secrets I''ve kept from her.

    "Breathe, Harper... Breathe."

    I hear his voice slowly whispering in my ear. I hold on to it as I try to fight my way away from the fog and darkness.

    "Is she okay?"

    My sweet daughter asks. Her voice tinged with worry.

    "I think she''s having a panic attack," Gabriel replies gently.

    The worry in Lilly''s voice forces me to pull myself together. It pushes me toe back and ovee the panic that was threatening to drown me. I couldn''t let her see me fall apart. Not when we were miles away from home and everyone here was a stranger to her.

    "Mom?"

    Pushing thest of my panic down, I open my eyes. I find her worried ones staring at me.

    Giving her a smile, I try to assure her. "I''m fine, Honey. Stop worrying, I just got a little bit anxious."

    Her gaze shifts from mine to Gabriel''s and then back to mine. She nods her head, but I can see she doesn''t fully believe me. She has loads of questions and is just waiting for the perfect time to ask. "Good then... Let''s fu- leave then," Gabriel said, catching himself in the process before he could curse.

    I undo my seat belt and then stand. He gestures for us to follow him and we do. In that moment, I felt like amb being led to the ughterhouse. My anxiety is still there. Still dancing on the edge of the surface.

    I was about to get out of the ne when I remembered something and stopped, making Lilly bump me from behind.

    "Ouch, seriously, mom? Why did you stop?" she asked, but I was just frozen.

    Gabriel, hearing her, turns his head.

    "What is it now?" His irritation was very, damn well clear in his voice.

    "What about the paparazzi?"

    I whispered and looked behind me. I didn''t want Lilly get a hint of what''s going on. Luckily, she was too busy rubbing her nose to catch what I''d just asked.

    "Don''t worry about them; my people have already taken care of that," he answered. "I''m not ready for word about Lilly getting out yet."

    Sighing in relief, I nod my head.

    Satisfied, Gabriel turns around and gets out. We follow close behind.

    Once outside, the heat hits me. Damn it, this was the one thing I didn''t miss about this country. It was almost always hot. It was almost evening, but the sun was still scorching hot. It would take some time to get used to it again, because when I fled, I went to a cooler region.

    Shielding my eyes from the sun, I continue following Gabriel. He stops besides a ck car. His driver, whose name I''d already forgotten, was standing beside it too, with the back door open.

    I stepped aside to let Lilly get in first, and her mouth was wide open. The girl loved cars, so she probably knew which model this one was and how much it cost.

    "No way!" she almost screamed in excitement. "This is a Maybach, a Mercedes-Maybach S-ss to be exact... Sweet, my friends are going to be even more jealous."

    She continues to study it in awe and I steal a quick nce from Gabriel. He looks impressed with Lilly. After all, that is one of the things I know they share. Their love for cars.

    I''m surprised, too. Not because of the car, but because Gabriel gives her time to study his car before gently asking her to get in.

    It honestly surprises me. This is a side of him I never knew existed. A side of him I don''t want to know exists. You''re wondering why, but it''s simple. If this gentle side of him exists, then it just ringly points to the fact that he did truly hate me. That was the reason why he treated me so fucking poorly when we were married, and not because it was his character or personality.

 Chapter 0385

    Pushing the thoughts away, I get in and Gabriel follows next. After his driver get in, he starts the car, and soon we are off.

    "Sir, are you rich?" Lilly''s voice cuts through the awkward atmosphere.

    "Lilly," I admonish. "You''re not supposed to ask people such personal questions."

    One thing you''ll learn about my daughter is that she has no filter. She''ll speak her mind; everyone else be damned. She doesn''t care if she crosses a line, as long as she get it off her chest and mind Instead of getting angry or irritated like he should, Gabriel just chuckles before asking,

    "Why do you ask?"

    She shrugs. "Because one, you have a private jet that costs anywhere from two million dors to one hundred, then there is your car, which is around two hundred thousand dors, and let''s not forget your suit, watch, and shoes. From their material alone, you can tell they''re expensive."

    Lilly does know her numbers. Apart from cars, her other hobby is watching business channels and reading business magazines. Her favorite is the ounting section.

    I noticed this when she was around five years old. Her sharp intelligence and love for anything numerical. I didn''t want to let her down and waste her potential. It''s why I broke my back to make sure she went to a good school.

    Gabriel''s small and deepugh makes me turn to him. There was something akin to pride shining in his eyes. It''s almost like his eyes were speaking the words his mouth couldn''t.

    I know how he feels. I struggled with this a lot, even though I was proud of her. She shared a lot with her dad. In addition to the cars, they also shared their love for numbers.

    "You could say that," came his reply minutester.

    "I also want to be rich when I grow up," she began. "Like filthy rich. That way, I can give Mama a good life."

    Just hearing her say that warms my heart... And the fact that she called me mama made my heart melt into a mushy goo. She hasn''t called me that in a long time. Once she hit six years old, she transitioned from calling me mama to mom.

    Gabriel turns to me, but I ignore his stare. From the corner of my eyes, I see him nod, and then we all get quiet.

    "Are we staying with you?" Lilly fired again after a while, making me groan in embarrassment.

    I did want to ask Gabriel that, given the contract, but I didn''t want to ask within Lilly''s hearing range.

    "Yes, I have a penthouse where we will all be staying for a while," he replied. "In fact, we are almost there."

    "Final question: are you mom''s boyfriend? Are you going to marry her?"

    "Lilly!"

    Gosh, this girl. What was I going to do with her?

    Lilly turns to me, then back to Gabriel when he begins speaking.

    "First of all, those are two questions, and second of all, yes, I''m going to marry your mother."

    Her pink lips broadened in a wide smile at his answer. "Good. She''s been lonely since Papa died."

    I''m sure my cheeks are ming red. I can''t believe that she would say that so confidently in front of Gabriel... Then again, why am I so surprised?

    I''m totally embarrassed. Gabriel was thest person I wanted, knowing just how lonely I am.

    Lilly was about to open her mouth, when the car stops. I breathe a sigh of relief and thank the heavens. Thest thing I wanted was for her to reveal even more embarrassing things about me. The door opens and Gabriel''s driver helps us out. Lilly and I stand there for a while, admiring the tall and imposing building.

    "Jared will let you in and show you your rooms," Gabriel says from behind me.

    I turn to find him out of the car. What surprised me, though, was that he was seated in the driver''s seat.

    "Aren''t youing with us?" I asked, fumbling with my hands.

    His grey eyes pin me to the spot. "No, and don''t wait up for me."

    With that, he speeds away, leaving us with a stranger.

    "This way, madam," Jarred says, taking our luggage.

    I give the car onest look before following Jarred to the entrance.

    I know where Gabriel is going. He cheated on me during our marriage multiple times. He was probably heading to one of his many mistresses.

    What bothered me, though, is that that thought send a pang of hurt through my heart. I didn''t understand why.

    It''s been years, shouldn''t I be over it?

 Chapter 0386

    Gabe.

    I sped away from my apartment building with no idea where the hell I was going. I just knew that I needed to be away from them. I needed the distance. I needed to think and pull myself together. I can''t do that when I''m around both of them.

    My mind is racing. I can barely think straight, and it''s been driving me crazy the entire time.

    When I found out about Lilly, I didn''t really think much about her being my kid. She was just another being that existed. Just a stranger that was rted to me. Seeing her and interacting with her brought home the fact that she indeed was my kid.

    Her eyes were a dead giveaway, but her mannerism surprised me even more. I thought that I wouldn''t be able to find someone so simr to me and my brother, but I was dead wrong. Lilly reminded me so much of myself that it was uncanny. I couldn''t fucking believe it.

    Harper tried to sush her so many times, but Lilly is a Wood through and through. She had to learn that there was just no way you could shut us up. If we want to say what''s on our mind, we damn well will, everybody be damned.

    "Siri, call Rowan," I said into the space.

    "Calling Rowan," the handset replied.

    I need my brother right now. Maybe he could shed some light on what I was supposed to do. I was out of my element here, and it was scaring the crap out of me.

    I''m usually one to think things through, but with this one, I didn''t. I admit that I was fucking desperate when I went looking for Harper and Lilly. I was focused on saving what I''d worked for all these years. Not once did I consider what it would be like once I got them here with me.

    Harper I could deal with. I''ve done it before. I know how to control her, even if something deep inside me tells me that she isn''t the same girl she used to be. Lilly, on the other hand, is different. I had no idea what to do with her or how to handle her.

    "Yeah?" came Rowan''s rough voice through the speaker.

    "Can we meet up?"

    I knew he was home. He and Ava hade back from their honeymoon a week ago. I know that I''ll have to tell him the truth, but I don''t mind. He''s my twin, and I trust him with my life. "Where and when?" he asked.

    That''s the thing about having a twin brother. They can sense when you need them and when you''re not okay. They will be there for you, no questions asked.

    "Meet me at Havana, I''m heading there right now," I answered. "I''m about twenty minutes away."

    "I''ll be there in a few."

    The call ends and I focus on driving.

    Shit! This was much harder than I''d anticipated. My mind goes back to how she asked her questions confidently. How she knew prices of things children her age didn''t. Even the way she spoke and how she carried herself were simr. She was a mini-me and that scared me.

    I was nning to just marry Harper and then live separately from them. I didn''t consider Lilly. Honestly, I didn''t think about anyone but my fucking self. Now, though, I know Harper won''t let me off the hook. She loves Lilly, and she won''t let anyone hurt her, not even me.

    Lilly, on the other hand, won''t allow herself to be ignored or pushed aside. She''ll demand more from me, especially when she finds out that I''m her father.

    Mindlessly, I got to the exclusive club and parked my car in the reserved parking area. This is one of the many clubs I own.

    Getting out, I ignore the countless groupies who call me, trying to get free entry into the club. My bodyguards slightly bowed to me before allowing me to pass through.

    I immediately head to the VIP section and as soon as I am seated, a waiteres rushing to take my order.

    "Mr. Wood, what can I get you?" His voice was shaky as he asked.

    I stared at him and realize that he was new. That exined why he was nervous. He looked like he would pee on himself.

    "Whiskey, neat"

    After nodding, he leaves, seeming relieved to be away from me.

    Most people say that Rowan and I are intimidating. It bothers most of them when we are around, but I love it. I revel in watching people get nervous around me. It feeds something inside me to watch their knees buckle and their voices stutter.

    My mind goes to my daughter again. I can clearly see her being like us one day. The same thing applied to Noah. Something like pride swells inside me, but I push it down. Like I said, I didn''t n on having anything to do with her. Let''s be honest, biologically, she was mine, but I wasn''t her dad. Liam, Harper''s dead husband, was.

    "Okay, I''m here..." Rowan''s voice pulls me away from my thoughts.

    I looked up to find him staring down at me. He was dressed casually. Something that has be normal since he and Ava fixed things. He was also more rxed.

    Motioning to the seat, I asked him to take a seat.

    "I''m seated. Now, tell me what''s bothering you."

    Taking a deep breath, I decide to just say it. You know, rip it off like a motherfucking band aid

    "I have a daughter."

    Emotions quickly y on his face before he finally shuts them down and an emotionless mask takes over.

    "Tell me every fucking thing."

 Chapter 0387

    Rowan

    I fell back onto the sofa, my head spinning. When Gabe called and asked me to meet with him, I never thought that he would blow my mind.

    I honestly thought he wanted to bitch about the decision by the board members. Hepletely floored me when he revealed that he had a kid. A daughter no one knew about. Sighing, I turned to him and just stared. What was I supposed to tell him? What could I tell him? It''s not every day that you find out that you have a child that no one knows about. "So, was this Harper a one-nightstand gone wrong or?" I asked, trying to piece the pieces together.

    I know my brother. He was a womanizer, so I wouldn''t be surprised. Actually, what I''m surprised by is that he doesn''t have more baby mamas.

    "No, she''s not a one-night stand," he replied. "You know her, actually. She''s a Beckett."

    At first, the name doesn''t ring a fucking bell, but then it registers.

    "You''ve got to be kidding me, Gabe," I stared at him in shock. "As in Harper Beckett? Andrew''s little sister?"

    He doesn''t say anything. He simply nods his head.

    Shit! Personally, I don''t know Harper that much. She was a quiet girl, with very few friends and was socially awkward. In a way, she reminded me of Ava back when we were younger. I wonder how they never became friends.

    Shaking my head, I banish those thoughts and focus on Gabe.

    "That''s not all," he began.

    "Seriously?"

    I watch as he struggles to form the words. He then runs his hands down his face before speaking. "She''s also my ex-wife."

    "Come again"

    There was no fucking way I heard him right.

    "I said that she''s my ex-wife," he repeated, this time in a lower tone.

    I can''t count the number of times he has managed to shock me today. I must have hit my head somewhere, because there is no fucking way Gabriel had once been married.

    "What the hell, Gabe?" I shouted, not even sure how I felt. "How the fuck is she your ex-wife? When did you even get married, let alone get a fucking divorce?"

    Gabe abruptly stands up and starts to pace the spacious space. Music was booming downstairs, and there was chattering all around, but that didn''t seem to faze him. It seemed like the chaos inside him was greater than that outside.

    "Calm down Gabe and tell me how the fuck no one knew you were married," I said, trying to calm him down. "I know you and I fucking know that you wouldn''t marry unless you were pushed to it."

    He takes a calming breath and begins talking. I listen to him carefully as he tells me everything from the beginning. Shocked doesn''t begin to cover what I feel after what he has told me. When I was drowning in my misery, I didn''t realize Gabriel had to take such a step just to protect my image.

    My brother isn''t like me. Despite my whorish ways before Emma and I became a couple, I always knew that I''d want to settle down one day. I always wanted a family of my own-a wife and kids. Gabriel was theplete opposite. He''d always said that he would never settle down. That he wouldn''t be tied down by just women, nor would he ever have kids. To find out that he went against what he wanted just for my sake is fucking humbling.

    "What should I do?" he asked with a confused look on his face.

    I''ve never seen my brother like this. Never.

    "I don''t know, but you have to think about it. If, deep down, you know you can''t be what Lilly needs, then don''t enter her life. She doesn''t know you yet, so you can get out of her life and make a clean te. It''s better she doesn''t know you at all than have a dad that doesn''t give a damn about her."

    I would never force him to take responsibility. If he can''t be what Lilly needs, then she''s better off not knowing him or who he is to her.

    "As for Harper, that is between you two," I finished saying. "But you''ll have toe clean with mom and dad, especially if you''re serious about marrying her again."

    After staring at the wall for a whole minute or so, he finally faces me. "What if I want to be in her life? I never thought about being a father, but after our little interaction, I can''t help but want to get to know her."

 Chapter 0388

    For the first time since I got his call, I smiled, happy that he was leaning towards getting to know his daughter.

    "Then I''ll support you."

    "But how the fuck do I go about it? I know finances like the back of my fucking hand, but I don''t know how to be a father," he sighed in frustration, making me chuckle.

    "You''ve got to realize that there is no handbook that will guide you on how to be a good dad. Even after years of being a father, I still learn new things each and every day. When ites to being a parent, you just have to wing. Be there for them and do what feels right."

    "Yeah, I guess you''re right."

    "What are you nning to do with Harper and do you feel anything for her?" I asked curiously.

    His answer was instant. ¡°Hell no! I don''t feel anything for her, and if it wasn''t for the fact that I needed her, I wouldn''t have bothered."

    Sighing, I asked him the question that has been bothering me since he told me his ns. "Then why the hell did you consider her as a wife? You can have your pick of any woman; why her?"

    "I don''t know... Maybe because she''s familiar. I was married to her for three years. I know how she ticks. I also know she won''t expect much from me, just like when we were married. It will be a marriage of convenience where she won''t nag me and get in my space because she knows her ce."

    I looked at him skeptically. I don''t know if this is the right time to remind him of what he told me before. There is no way you''ll live with someone for years and not have feelings for them.

    It''s too early to say anything, but I believe there is a deeper reason why his mind immediately thought of Harper the moment he was given the ultimatum. Either the reason is hidden deep down and he isn''t aware, or he''s just not ready to admit it.

    Our unconscious mind knows what the conscious doesn''t. I think that''s the case with Gabriel. His soul knows something that his mind has yet to conceive.

    "That''s a start... Like I said, what your rtionship will be is up to the two of you. Just make sure you don''t make mistakes that you can''t take back," I said after a moment.

    After he nodded his agreement, I ordered a drink and rxed, d to see him calmer. After catching up for three hours or so, I bid him goodnight and left the club.

    My drive back home is reflective. I don''t know about my father, but it seemed like, for us, as his kids, we are good at destroying our marriages. It''s a fucking kick to the gut to know that my story and that of my brother are kind of simr.

    Both of us were cruel when it came to our wives. We were assholes. Looking back, I still don''t understand how Ava was able to forgive me. Don''t get me wrong, I am fucking grateful that she took me back ever after all the shit I put her through, but all I''m saying is I wouldn''t have forgiven myself if I were in the same shoes.

    I get home in record time, getting impatient as I wait for the electronic gates to open up. Once they do, I drive up to our house and park my car before getting out.

    I was dying to see my woman and have her in my arms.

    Swinging the doors open, I walked to the kitchen, where I knew I''d find her.

    "You''re back." Ava looked up, smiling at me.

    I''m struck yet again by her beauty and the love shining in her eyes. The love that I''d almost lost because of my stupidity.

    Walking towards her. I pulled her to me, making her release a cute little startledugh.

    "I love you," I said, before sealing my lips with her.

    I am so fucking grateful for a second chance with her. My only prayer is that Gabe won''t screw up his.

 Chapter 0389

    Harper.

    It''s been almost a week since Gabriel left us with his driver and drove off. I haven''t heard a thing from him, nor have Iid my eyes on him. He also hasn''t been here, which makes me believe that he''s staying at one of his many other properties.

    It''s been difficult trying to settle, especially for Lilly. She''s the type of person who doesn''t sleep well in a foreign bed. Sure, the bed is awesome, and the mattress is morefortable than the one she has at home, but the problem is that it''s not her bed.

    At this point, I''m tempted to ask Gabriel to have her bed shipped here if things continue the way they are. She''s barely sleeping, and the few hours she gets, I have to be there with her in order for her to sleepfortably.

    I''ve also not been at peace. I keep wondering if I made the right decision by agreeing to get married again. Life with Gabriel was a living hell... Should I have tried to fight him for Lilly''s custody? I love my daughter with every fiber of my body, but am I ready to be Gabriel''s wife again, despite what I already know about him?

    I''ve battled with those questions, but the answer has remained the same. Yes, I would do anything for my daughter, including sacrificing my own happiness.

    Slowly getting out of bed, I''m careful not to wake her up. I pushed the hair out of her face before cing a gentle kiss on her forehead. She smiles in her sleep. That beautiful smile reinforces my decision to go through with the fake marriage.

    I pad across the soft carpet before opening the door and leaving the room assigned to me. It was six thirty, so I wanted to make breakfast before Lilly woke up. For a kid, she''s an early riser and rarely sleeps past eight o''clock.

    I stumbled to a stop when I found Gabrielfortably seated at the breakfast counter.

    "What are you doing here?" I squealed, trying to calm my erratic, beating heart.

    "I live here," he scoffed, but I don''t miss the once-over he gave me.

    It''s when I saw his eyes shing with something I can''t describe that I realized that I was in my very short, red nightie. If there is something I''ve maintained from my past life, it''s my love for silky, expensive nighties. I can never buy enough of them, and I have like a dozen.

    I''m self-conscious at first given that I''m standing before him in a gown that leaves nothing to the imagination, but I remember that this is Gabriel we are talking about. I''m thest woman he would ever find attractive, let alone fuck.

    Squaring my shoulders, I rounded the counter and began taking out the ingredients for making pancakes. Once they are allid out, I turn on the coffee machine and brew myself my morning nectar. "Are you going to keep ignoring me?" he asked, pulling my eyes towards his gray ones.

    Shrugging, I replied, "I assumed you''d speak once you worked out the courage to."

    Gabriel res at me, and I give him a sickly sweet smile, just to piss him off.

    "Give me a cup," hemanded after a while.

    Sizing him, I snickered, "Do you see a housemaid here?"

    "No"

    "Exactly, so if you want coffee, make it yourself."

    Those gray eyes turn stormy, and I have a vague idea why. I smile internally, knowing that this is going to be so much fun. I may have to marry, but I wasn''t going to make it easy for him. I was slowly going to pay back every shit he put me through.

    "You''re my wife, Harper. You should do this for me," he growled, his eyebrows pinched.

    "First of all, I''m not yet your wife, and second of all, even after we do get married, it''ll only be on paper. I haven''t signed up to be your ve, just your pretend wife."

    "Harper!" he warned, his voice taking a dangerous tone.

    Sighing, I rub my face. "Do you have anything important to discuss or are you just here to waste my time?"

    He doesn''t say anything at first. He seemed lost. Like he was staring at a stranger, he didn''t know what to do with or handle.

    That''s it, Gabriel. I''m totally a stranger, because the girl you knew died a very horrible death at your fucking hands.

    Clearing his throat, he schools his features. "I wanted to discuss the contract. Here is a copy. You can go through it before signing it."

 Chapter 0390

    He pushes the document across the counter. Taking it, I go through it. I''ll have mywyer check it out after, but it''s always good to go through a contract yourself first. If there is one thing my brother taught me, it is that I should never sign anything I haven''t read.

    The basics we discussed were there. The contract would be valid for a minimum of two years. At the end of it, I would get Unity Venture and some alimony. Gabriel will also continue supporting Lilly. He also stated that he wanted Lilly recognized as his daughter, and herst name would be changed to Wood.

    Those were the most important to me, so after reading and re-reading them, I put the papers down.

    "Anyints?" he asked, forwarding me a pen.

    "No, but I''d like to add some stiptions." I stared at the pen, but didn''t pick it up.

    "What kind of stiptions?"

    Taking a deep breath, I lift my head. "One, I demand fidelity. Our marriage before was a secret and that allowed you to get away with cheating on me. This one, as stated, will be publicly announced, and I''ll be damned if I let you humiliate me in public by having mistresses. I also won''t allow any embarrassment towards Lilly. She deserves more than a father who can''t keep it in his pants. I don''t want her to have to see articles about you parading other women in magazines."

    I stopped, pulling air into my lungs. His stare is intense, and his jaw is locked, but I refuse to stand down.

    "I love sex, Harper. What am I supposed to do?" he finally asked.

    I shrug. "Your hands will probably see a lot of actions, but I don''t care. Figure it out, because if I so much as find out you cheated on me, I will cut off your cock and shove it so far up your ass you''ll need a rectal retractor to remove it."

    I watch as he winces, but eventually he nods. I guess he''s starting to see that I''m not one to fuck with.

    "What about you?" he asked after a while.

    "I have my very handy battery-operated boyfriend, so that shouldn''t be a worry, and besides, unlike you, who is a total man whore, I don''t go around spreading my legs for every Tom, Dick and Harry." He released a sound that awfully sounded like a growl. He''s pissed off. Call me petty, but I love the fact that I''m pissing him off.

    "Second of all, I expect you to be a father. You were willing to use Lilly as a way to get me to do what you wanted, so you should be willing to be her dad. You will spend time with her, get to know her, ande to her recitals and practices. Anything that concerns her, I expect you to be present. If you can''t agree to that, then I won''t sign the agreement."

    "I already nned to be involved in her life, Harper. She''s my daughter," he said, surprising the shit out of me.

    I didn''t expect that. I thought I''d have to fight for him to agree. Quickly, I hid my shock. I didn''t want him to see that he''d taken me by surprise.

    "Good," I nodded. "Because if you break my daughter''s heart, the ''til death do us part'' wille by real quick, and it would be a total shame if I had to be a widow for the second time." He just stares at me like I''ve lost my damned mind, and maybe I have.

    "Lastly, I don''t want to wait till the end of our contract to join Unity Ventures. I want to start working there as soon as it can be arranged. If I''m going to take over, I need to know the workings of thepany."

    "Fine," he nodded. "Anything else?"

    I shook my head. "No. That''s all."

    "Okay then, I''ll get mywyer to add your stiptions and have them back for your signature by evening." He took the documents and, without another word, walked out of the kitchen.

    I sigh a breath of relief. Unlike the

    last time, this time I knew what I was

    getting into, and I''ve taken

    countermeasures to make sure that after the two years I''ll leave in an piece. There is no way I am going to get hurt, right?

 Chapter 0391

    I put the final touches to my look before staring at myself in the mirror. I was a nervous wreck because today was my third wedding day.

    It sounds so bad when I put it like that, right? The onlyfort I get is that I''m marrying the same man I married a couple of years ago. My first husband.

    Sliding my coat on, I pick up my purse and walk out of the room. The air felt electrified as anxiety covered every inch of my soul.

    Gabriel had brought the new contract that evening as agreed, and now a dayter, we were going to meet up with the priest so we can do the deed.

    "Are you ready?" Gabriel asked when I stepped into the living room.

    I couldn''t answer. I felt like my thoughts were clogged, so instead, I just nodded.

    "Why can''t I go with you?" Lilly whined, making me turn towards her.

    She was seated on the L-shaped couch, frowning, her hands folded across her chest. She wasn''t one to throw tantrums, so I don''t get what this new attitude is all about.

    "Because only adults are allowed there." I easily lied. "Sharon, here, is going to look after you until wee back."

    Sharon was the nanny Gabriel hired. She was in her early fifties and was just so sweet. She reminded me of Mia. I could already see that she''s someone Lilly will grow to love. Lilly was already so at ease with her, something that is rare.

    "Why do I feel like you''re lying to me?" she grumbled, her frown intensifying. "I thought we promised never to lie to each other."

    I sigh. We did make that promise, but this was one of the times when I''d have to break it.

    "Well, I am not."

    I didn''t want her to attend the wedding. Can I even call it a wedding? It was more of a fulfillment of a contract. I didn''t want her toe simply because this wasn''t a real wedding. If it were, then she would definitely help me n it and would also be a flower girl.

    "We''ll be back before you know it, Lilly," Gabriel said in a voice that brooked no argument. "I promise we''ll bring back something special for you."

    It''s like her anger and annoyance disappeared at his words. She smiled big and nodded her head.

    Releasing a breath of air, I try to calm myself down. I can clearly see that Gabriel and I will have a problem because it''s evident he''s going to spoil her. "Okay, be good to Sharon, and remember to set time aside for your studies," I told her once I was calm enough before kissing her forehead.

    I turned to leave, and Gabriel

    followed suit The ride in the elevator

    is quiet. I don''t mind that at all becaused am in no damn mood to

    talk. I just wanted to get it over and thene back and eat a

    done

    tub of ice cream whilementing the fact that I''d made a deal with the devil.

    The elevator stopped and opened, and we stepped out. Gabriel led me outside of the buildingplex, where his driver was waiting for us near the car. This time, it''s a siker Mercedes. Once we are in, he closes the door, gets in, and starts the car.

    "I''m sure you remember Rowan." Gabriel began a few minutes into the drive

    I roll my eyes at him. I was married to him for three years,.We might have gotten a divorce, but that doesn''t mean I''ve forgotten his brother.

    "I''ve asked him to be our witness," he finally said.

    "Okay"

    "He already knows about the contract and about Lilly. He also knows we were once married," he exined. "The rest of my family will know about our marriage and Lilly after we''ve gotten the marriage certificate."

    "Sure," I said weakly.

    That was the other thing that gave me anxiety. I wasn''t confident about meeting the rest of his family. Sure, I would have no problem if Lilly got to meet her extended family, but I would rather remain on the sidelines.

    After my answer, it was quiet till we

    got to the chapel. I silently got out of the car after the driver opened the door for us. My anxiety was now on overdrive, and I wanted nothing more than to turn back and flee as if the fiery fires of hell were on me.

    As if sensing my thoughts, Gabriel grips my hands and leads me inside. My anxiety takes a backseat, as I stare at our interlocked hands. Gabriel has never willingly touched me, so this takes me by surprise.

 Chapter 0392

    I spot Rowan the moment we get inside. Just like his brother, he was in a ck suit. We get at the front of the chapel just as the priest walks in.

    "Hello, Harper," Rowan greeted politely, with a weing smile.

    I''m totally shocked. He waspletely transformed-nothing like the Rowan I remember. Before, he always looked cold and distant, like he had a chip on his shoulder, which he did back then. Now, though, he looked warm. It''s like the darkness that once gued him no longer exists.

    "H-Hi" I stammered.

    I wonder if he managed to get back with his ex-girlfriend. After all, everyone knew that he changed after he lost her and was forced to marry Ava. Yeah, that was probably it. He hated Ava, so this change was likely because of her sister, Emma.

    "Let''s begin, shall we?" The priest interrupted, and the three of us nodded.

    I stand next to Gabriel, while Rowan stands behind us.

    I tune out the preacher when he starts some sort of sermon. I don''t have anything against churches, but I think Gabriel should have just agreed to do this at a court house. It seems much easier.

    I don''t know how much time had passed when I finally heard the preacher say it was now time to marry us. I breathed a sigh of relief that we were almost done.

    "It''s time for you to say your own vows to each other," he informed us, his eyes shifting from me to Gabriel.

    Clearing my thought, I speak. "Let''s skip that part."

    There was no way I was going to do this twice. I remember when we first got married, I''d written a beautiful and heartfelt vow because I loved Gabriel so much. I read it to him only to have him scoff and sneer at me as if I were nothing but a disgusting parasite. I was so embarrassed because the other couples behind us heard him, and so did the minister.

    He then cut me off and told me that he had no use for such useless words from a foolish little girl. That had been the first indication that our marriage wasn''t something he''d wanted.

    The priests cleared his throat, pulling me from those painful thoughts. He turned to Gabriel, as if seeking his permission. When he silently agreed, the priest proceeded.

    "Do you Harper Beckett take Gabriel Wood as yourwfully wedded husband..." before he could continue, I replied.

    "I do"

    The priest red at me, but I just

    smiled at him. There was no need to

    prolong it. We''ve done this once before and it meant nothing to the man standing beside me. In fact, he broke every single promise he had made, so as you can see, it was now pointless.

    "And do you,

    Gabriel Wood, take

    Harper Beckett as yourwfully

    wedded wife, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer and for poorer in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?"

    "I do," Gabriel answered in a low, deep tone.

    I internally scoffed at that. It''s yet to be seen if he''ll be able to keep his vows this time around. Honestly, I don''t have a lot of faith in him, but we will see.

    Gabriel takes my left hand and slides a very expensive-looking ring on my ring finger. just stare at the ring, not sure what to do. I didn''t think about rings, so I didn''t get him one. And besides, when we married thest

    tim

    he''d thrown the ring I gave him the moment we stepped out of the small church.

    Remembering that, I simply assumed that he wouldn''t want a ring, and since he didn''t give one back then, I didn''t think he would this time around.

    "By the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you, husband and wife," the priest smiled. "You may now kiss..."

    I cut him off again "We''ll skip that part too."

    He sends me a re so harsh that if it were a weapon, I would be six feet under.

    "Fine!" he grumbled. "You''re now married... Happy?"

    "Not by a long shot," I replied sweetly.

    We signed the marriage certificate, making it official.

    I was once again Mrs. Gabriel Wood and something told me that this new journey was going to be a hell of a ride.

 Chapter 0393

    Emma.

    "You have to get out of this room, Emma. You can''t spend your days stuck in this dump." Mom told me, but I didn''t even spare her look as my eyes were fixated on the sad series I was watching.

    I sat in my bed, still in my pajamas, with some snacks scattered around my duvet. I had different drinks and a tub of ice cream, which I was currently drowning myself in. My curtains were closed, shutting off the sunlight since I''d gotten ckout curtains a few months ago.

    "That''s what I''ve been trying to tell her, but the damn woman won''t listen to me," Molly fired.

    I could feel her staring daggers at the side of my head, but that didn''t bother me one bit. I just wanted to be left alone so that I could suffer in my misery. After all, I am the one who brought this upon myself. "What would Gunner say if he saw you like this? You are unkempt and so is your room. I don''t even know when youst brushed your hair or showered," she said in a disapproving voice.

    I perk up when I hear Gunner''s name. Immediately, my eyes turned towards my mom.

    "Did he ask for me? Does he want toe to voice?" I asked, hope coating my voice.

    Mom has been spending time with him and so has Travis. They get to meet and as far as I can tell, things are going well. They don''t like talking about him when I am around, because they know how much it hurts me that they get to be with him when I don''t, but I''ve heard them talking when they thought I wasn''t in the vicinity.

    I got my answer when mom looked away and didn''t say anything. My heart broke at that. The amount of guilt and regret that is eating me up can''t be described. When he used to ask for me, I never bothered to give him the time of day.

    I took him for granted and only saw him as a mistake that I regretted. Now he doesn''t want anything to do with me and it breaks me. This is how he must have felt every time I ignored him. Karma was indeed a bitch, and she was serving me loads and loads of her specialty.

    Molly cleared her throat before saying, "Come on, let''s get you in the shower, then we can go out for lunch."

    I pull my eyes away from them and focus on the TV once again. "I don''t really feel like doing anything. I just want to stay here."

    Mom shocks me when she grabs the remote from the bed and switches off the TV. She then turns, res, and points a finger at me.

    "That''s enough of you, Emma. I won''t watch you wither away because you refused to grow up and ept that this is all your fault. Instead of wasting away in this fucking room, you could be trying to redeem yourself and fix things with Calvin and Gunner."

    I''m surprised at her cursing because she rarely does it. I can count the number of times mom has cursed, and five of those times she was either extremely pissed off or frustrated.

    She caught me by surprise yet again when she grabbed my hand, and proceeded to drag me towards the bathroom.

    "Let go of me, Mom!" I shout behind her, trying to pull away, but her grip just tightened.

    When we get to my bathroom, she pushes me inside before mming the door closed.

    "Open this fucking door, mom," I yelled, trying to open the door, but it''spletely shut.

    "First of all, don''t you dare curse at me, Emma," she yells back. "And second, this door will remain shut until you take that fucking shower."

    I stomp angrily to the counter and just stare at myself in the room. Sighing, I turn around after a minute or so. I can hardly stand to look at myself in the mirror. I barely recognize the person staring back at me, and neither do I like her.

    I want to me someone, but there is no one to me but myself. That is the one thing I hate about this whole thing. It would be much easier if someone else were to me.

    Staring at the shower, I take off my clothes before jumping inside. I turn the heater to the hottest setting, then allow the hot water to wash over me. I feel the tension leave my body slowly, and soon enough, I rx under the shower.

    "Are you okay in there, Emma? It''s been more than thirty minutes." Molly''s voice is heard through the door.

    It''s only after her words register that

    I realize I''ve been in here longer than I''d nned. Turning off the shower, grab a towel and wrap it around my body. Again, I stand in front of the mirror. This time I look better than a few minutes ago, but you could still

    could still

    tell that there was something

    missing.

    I turn around and try the door. This time, it opens. Stepping out of the room, I find just Molly. Mom was nowhere to be seen.

    "I already chose something for you to wear," she tells me, pointing to a cute blue sundress. "Like I told you earlier, we are going out for lunch."

    "I really don''t feel like going out, Molly. Isn''t it enough that I''ve taken a shower?" I asked tiredly.

    I felt emotionally drained, and all I wanted to do was go to sleep.

    "No, it isn''t enough," She retorted.

    "Look, your mom is right. You are acting like a child, throwing a tantrum

    @ecause you didn''t get your

    way. You''re here feeling sorry yourself, crying over spilt milk

    for

    instead of doing something about it. For how long are you going to

    wallow in your guilt?"

    Her words irritate me, mainly because I know she is speaking the truth. A truth that I don''t want to acknowledge.

    "You want to fix things, yet you don''t

    want to put in the effort... Look at Rowan. Ava forgave him despite everything, Why? Because he put in the work and still is putting the work to prove to her that he''s worthy of herlove, why can''t you do the same?"

    "What do you want me to do, Molly? Where would I even start?"

    Sighing, she stands up and walks towards me. "You can start by forgiving yourself and pulling yourself out of the ruff that you''ve buried yourself in."

    I don''t say anything, because there is just nothing to say.

    "Now get dressed... There is this cute restaurant I''ve been dying to try," she says, pushing me towards the dress.

    Picking it up, I just stare at it, unsure about where my life is headed.

    Molly talks as if it''s as easy as snapping my fingers; what she forgets is that Ava might have forgiven Rowan, but Calvin isn''t Ava.

    He may never forgive me, especially because because of how I treated Gunner

 Chapter 0394

    "Why the hell did I let you convince me to go out for lunch?" I grumbled as I watched thendscape sh by us.

    It''s been a long time since I''ve been outside our family estate. I think thest time I was outside was when I attended Ava''s wedding. To be honest, I''d been shocked when she invited me. Of all the people, I thought I would be thest person she would want at her wedding.

    "Because you needed to get outside," Molly replied, pulling me back to the conversation.

    "I do leave the house, Molly," I said, defending myself.

    Her scoff irritates me so much.

    "Going to the garden doesn''t count as going out," she retorted. "Now, stopining and just sit back and rx. You''ll enjoy this small outing; I promise you that.

    "I doubt that."

    With that, I lean back against the chair and close my eyes. My mind was racing a thousand thoughts per minute. I couldn''t grasp them or control them.

    Since my talk with Molly in my room, my mind has been racing with ideas. I know it won''t be easy but she''s right, I can sit in my room, wallowing and cursing my stupidity. If I continue like that, I may never get the chance to have my son with me.

    My biggest challenge, though, is Calvin.

    Gunner is still young and I believe I can get him to forgive me. I really want him to forgive me. I want to have a rtionship with him. It''s not toote. The problem is Calvin. I know he won''t easily forgive me nor will he let me near our son.

    Sighing for the hundredth time today, I try to focus on something else. It doesn''t help because my mind keeps going back to Gunner and Calvin.

    "We are here," Molly beams, her excitement evident.

    The door opens, and my driver helps us out. I look around, realizing that the entire ride I''ve thought about nothing else except Gunner.

    "I''m so excited; I''ve been dying to try this ce out," she gushed next to me.

    I recognized the restaurant immediately. It''s been years since I''ve been here. This was the same restaurant Rowan brought me to when I came back. This is the same restaurant where he almost broke my hand after he witnessed Ava and Ethan. Damn, it feels like a millennium ago.

    A smallugh leaves my mouth before I can contain it.

    "What''s funny?" Molly asks curiously.

    I tell her everything as we walk inside. When I''m done, we''ve already been seated and given our menus.

    "That''s wild," Molly says after I''m done.

    "I know, but I was so stupid. I saw the signs and ignored them. They were married for nine years before came back, Why the hell did I think that nothing had changed between them? It was stupid to think that Rowan hadn''t developed feelings for Ava in the years they were together."

    "I don''t think you were stupid; you were just blinded by a love that had died years ago,¡± she said sympathetically.

    I wanted to argue with her but I didn''t. There was no sugarcoating my stupidity. I''m the perfect example of how even the best ofwyers can be stupid''

    Her eyes sh as she gives me one of her intense looks.

    "What?" I asked nervously.

    Something was working in that brilliant brain of hers, and I was afraid of what she would conclude.

    "Nothing, just wondering if the same thing happened with you," she answered after a while.

    "What are you talking about?"

    "You said that you should have known that there is no way Rowan wouldn''t have developed feelings for Ava seeing they were together for years and I was wondering if the same thing applied to you and Calvin. After all, he''s the only man you''ve ever been with."

    I freeze in my seat when her statement registers in my head... but then I scoff internally and rx.

    "You''re wrong. It was only sex between us. Yes, he had feelings for me, but they weren''t reciprocated."

    "Are you sure about that? Then howe he''s the only one you had sex? You had multiple opportunities and had men vying for your attention. Big shotwyers, actors, hell even billionaires, but you never pai any of them attention. You always went back to Calvin."

    I re at her when she smiles, triumphantly. Shifting my eyes from hers, I try to hide from the questions she flung at me. Mainly because I didn''t have an answer to any of them.

    She''s right. I had the attention of

    men and so many of them wanted something serious, yet I always refused. always reasoned it

    because I was still hung up on

    Rowan, but that doesn''t exel

    Calvin was an exception. was different from the

    he

    men

    and I always ended going back to him.

    "You know what I think?" she asks, her smile transforming into a grin. "I think the same thing that happened to Rowan happened to you. The same reasoning you used applies to you, Emma. There is no way you would sleep with the same man more than seven years and not develop feelings for him. And like with Rowan, your feelings for Calvin were clouded by the love you had for your ex. A love that you both held on to because none of you got closure," she finished

    We order and eat our lunch in silence, but her words keep ringing in my head. She was wrong, though; there''s just no way I would have developed feelings for Calvin and not be able to notice, right? Molly is wrong. She had to be wrong.

 Chapter 0395

    Molly''s words keep ringing in my ears even after we have eaten. We were now on to our dessert. I loved ice cream, but today I couldn''t enjoy it. Not when she had managed to make me doubt everything I''ve believed for thest few years.

    "Why are you so quiet?" she asked as she set her milkshake down. "Are you thinking about what I just told you?"

    Thest sentence was said with a smirk as she leaned back against her chair.

    "Of course not," I lied, "I am just wondering how I''m going to get Calvin and Gunner to forgive me. No matter which angle I look at it, there is no silver lining."

    As awyer, I''m used to looking at things from different angles when I''m defending my clients. It''s what made me good at what I did. I left no stone unturned and I went through every possible oue. I did that with my case and I see no hope.

    I may not have loved Calvin, but I knew him very well. He had given me countless chances and opportunities to get my priorities right. I didn''t. Calvin is the kind of man who, once he''s had enough, that''s the end of it. There is no going back. There are no more chances. There is no forgiveness.

    I could sit here and lie to myself, but I won''t. I didn''t have any hope of Calvin forgiving me. I treated him and Gunner like shit for years, how am are they supposed to get over that?

    "Emma?" Molly calls, pulling me back to the present.

    My eyes, which had been firmly fixed on the table, turned to her. "Yeah?"

    "I know what I''m going to say is clich¨¦ but you have to listen to me," she began. "You will never truly make any progress until you forgive yourself. You''re carrying so much guilt and regret. Both are drowning you, weighing you down and eating you alive. You have to let go. You have to forgive yourself first."

    I heard her, but what she was saying was almost impossible so I stayed quiet.

    How could I forgive myself? Doesn''t she remember what I did to them? What I put them through? I wasn''t just selfish; I was a cruel, unfeeling bitch.

    Remembering what I did to them time and time again brings this sharp pain to my heart. I can barely breathe and tears start filling my eyes. The weight of my mistakes have shredded me to so many pieces that I don''t know how to stitch myself back together.

    I wish it was as easy as snapping

    my fingers, but it wasn''t. Not when you made the kind of mistakes I did. Can I even call them mistake? A mistake is when you identally dial the wrong number or knock on the wrong door. What I did wasn''t a mistake; it was the annihtion of Gunner and Calvin''s heart. There

    wasn''t sugar coating my

    wretchedness.

    "Emma, Emma," Molly whispers all over sudden while tapping my hand with urgency.

    "What is it?"

    "Don''t look, but Calvin just walked in with Gunner and some woman," she said.

    I couldn''t help it, I turned around and looked.

    She, literally flung herself over the table and grabbed my head before making me look at her.

    "What the hell are you doing? I told you not to look!" she hissed at me.

    "What was I supposed to do? You can tell me not to look and expect me not to look," I fired back.

    My heartbeat had quickened to an rming rate. Before Molly pulled my head back, I had managed to see who the woman was. It''s the same

    woman he came with as a plus one on Ava''s wedding day.

    S

    I discretely turn around and watch as he slowly pulls out a chair for her. He was smiling wide at her, a smile that had never been directed at me before.

    Something ufortable settles in my heart, and I rub my chest in an effort to get rid of it. What the hell is going on?

    "I need to use the bathroom," I tell Molly out of the blues, then stand up and leave before she can ask me if I want somepany.

    Instead of heading straight to the

    washroom, I head towards an empty table. It was near the one where Gunner and Calvin were currently settled. Using the menu hasa shield, I spy on them.

 Chapter 0396

    The woman''s back was turned to me, and so was that of Gunner. I didn''t have to worry about Calvin because he seemed to be smitten and was paying attention to everything the woman was saying, with a sof smile on his lips.

    Again, that ufortable feeling sinks deeper into me. Why did I feel like I couldn''t breathe? There was this big lump stuck in my throat.

    I focus on them. I couldn''t hear what they were saying since they were a few tables from me, but the peace and happiness showing on Calvin''s face was enough to let me know what was going on. He was on a date, and Gunner had tagged along. The woman didn''t seem to mind, but there was no way in hell I was going to allow another woman to rece me in my son''s life.

    I couldn''t see Gunner, but I knew, just like with Calvin, he was happy to be there. Calvin would have already left with our son if the case had been different.

    For some reason, I keep staying there, even though I feel like my heart was being ripped into pieces. I don''t know how long I''d been there, but eventually I couldn''t take it. Seeing him happy was causing me pain for some reason. It was like my heart was being shredded.

    I put down the menu, and I was going to stand up and leave when a shadow appears in front of me. I look up and I am shocked to find Calvin staring at me with furious eyes. Before I can say anything, he grabs my hands and hauls me off my chair.

    He drags me away and I turn to see Gunner still busy chatting with the woman. I was d he hadn''t seen me. I didn''t want him to see me like this.

    "What the hell are you doing here?" he yelled when we got to a secluded ce. "Have you now reverted to stalking, Emma? That''s pathetic even for you."

    He pushes me hard, but luckily, I catch myself before I fall. Instead of saying anything, I just stared at my feet as I tried to control the unexinable pain that was burning through me.

    "I''m asking you a fucking question, Emma?" he snapped and hit the wall behind me.

    I flinch out of fear. Saying he was furious was an understatement. I''ve never seen him like this.

    "I-I came here with Molly. We were having lunch when you came in. I-I wasn''t stalking you," I stammered in a low voice.

    "Really? You saw us enter and then what? You decided to spy on us, is that it?"

    I don''t answer. What could I say? He was right. I just wanted a glimpse of Gunner.

    "You''re un-fucking-believable." He

    growled. "You threw us away like yesterday''s garbage, Emma. You didn''t want us and now what? Rowan doesn''t want you so you

    el

    think you can im the family you despised? Is that it?"

    S

    Each of his words stabbed at my heart, making my heart bleed. I can''t stop the tears that fall down my cheeks. Fuck! This was painful. If only I could go back in time.

    I let out a gasp of surprise when he grabbed my chin in a painful hold.

    "Listen to me and listen well, stay

    the fuck away from my son. He doesn''t want to see you and neither do I... If so much see you near him, I''ll file for a restraining order. Am I clear" his threatening tone sent shivers down my back.

    This was a side of him I''ve never seen.

    "He''s my son, Calvin," I whimpered.

    "You lost that right when you continued to hurt him and treat him like shit," he said. "Now answer me, am I clear?"

    "Yes." The words leave my mouth almost painfully.

    He lets go of my chin as if I''d burned him. With one disgusted look thrown my way, he stomps out of the private room.

    I fall against the wall before sliding

    down. I can''t control it when I sob leaves my lips. I feel hurt and lost. This was all my fault. How am ever going to fix this? Is it even possible after the damage I caused? S

 Chapter 0397

    Harper

    This week has beenpletely hectic. It''s like I''ve been running errands since I came back to this city without even taking a moment to rest.

    At least Lilly is now morefortable. Gabriel didn''t agree to ship her mattress, given the one she has here is morefortable, but he did agree to ship her sheets and nkets. It has made a difference, with her now sleeping the whole night.

    Gabriel, where can I even begin? Hees home even if it''s in thete hours, but that''s the extent of it. We have been avoiding each other, trying to live like the other doesn''t exist. I think it''s better for us to do it this way. It will keep Lilly from seeing us fight all the time.

    "Mom, you wanted to speak to me?" Lilly''s voice pulls me back from to the present.

    I put down the clothes I was folding, and sit on the bed before signaling her to do the same. She crosses the room with a frown and sits down next to me.

    We were in my room. As you have guessed, Gabriel and I don''t share a room. That is the one thing I don''t know how to exin to Lilly. She''ll be curious, given that Liam and I shared the master bedroom.

    "Mom?"

    "Sorry, there are a few things I wanted to exin to you," I tell her, pulling her close to me.

    I need the strength to tell her what I''ve been hiding. It''s not every day your mother tells you that the man you thought was your father isn''t. The one thing I''m afraid of is her reaction. I know she''ll be mad but I hope that she''ll understand. But then again, how will she understand that I deliberately kept her from her biological father?

    How can I tell her the entire truth without revealing the kind of man Gabriel is? Or how terrible of a husband he was back then?

    That''s where my dilemma stems from. How can I tell her the truth without telling her the entire truth?

    "You want to start by exining the shining diamond that you''re currently rocking?" she asked with one eyebrow raised high.

    I knew she noticed, but I didn''t tell her anything. Since I didn''t say a thing, she didn''t ask... but I knew it was only a matter of time.

    "I got married," I simply stated.

    "I figured that out," she whispered. "But why didn''t you invite me, I would have liked to be there with you, it''s not like I was against you getting married, Mom."

    I felt the hurt in her words, but I just didn''t know what to tell her. This wasn''t the kind of marriage she thought; it wasn''t a love match. How was I going to exin that my marriage to Gabriel was just a contract? That if I could have my way, and if he wasn''t threatening to take her away, I would never have married him.

    "I''m sorry, darling, but you have to understand that things happened so fast," I began. "There wasn''t any wedding party or anything like that... we just had to do it really quick."

    "But why?"

    "You won''t be able to understand right now, but when you''re older, I''ll tell you everything."

    She''s quiet and I know she''s thinking of whether to push the matter or let it go. I wasn''t lying; when she''s older, I''ll exin that my marriage was just a contract. That it wasn''t anything real. "Do you love him?" she asked after a while.

    Sighing I look at her as I think of an answer that will cate her.

    "It''splicated," I finally said.

    "Really, Mom? That''s what adults say when they don''t want to answer a question," she muttered while rolling her eyes. "You could have just been honest and said you don''t want to answer." "Fine, I don''t want to answer." I try to hide my smile.

    Gosh! I loved my baby girl so much, but deep down I knew that I was trying to stall.

    "So, is that what you wanted to talk to me about?"

    My heart starts picking up pace. Anxiety wed its way inside me, trying to seize mepletely. This was the moment of truth.

    "No," I said nervously. "It''s something else."

    "Okay, shoot"

    Taking a deep breathe, I decide to rip it off like a band aid.

    I take her hand in mine. "Gabriel is your dad."

    "Well, duh, you''re married to him now so that makes him my stepdad," she said again, rolling her eyes. "I''m hot stupid, mom, I know how this works. Remember, Sheryl got a stepmother after her mother and father divorced?"

    Sheryl was a girl who went to the same school. They were ssmates, back at home. Her parents got divorced about three years ago and the dad married another woman.

    "No, Lilly... I mean, Gabriel is your dad, your biological father," I whisper, my voice full of fear. "Liam was your stepdad."

    She''s quiet, staring at me as if she were trying to piece together the information I just told her. I see the moment she finally grasps it and her eyes be using. "Lilly..."

    "No," she shouted, ripping hand from mine. "You''re lying"

    "I''m sorry, baby girl, but I am not lying... Gabriel is your father." tears fill my eyes as I look at her, which convey nothing but betrayal.

    "You lied to me, you let me believe Liam was my dad even though he wasn''t."

    The tears flowing down her cheeks broke my heart. Fuck! I never thought I''d find myself in this situation. This was what I was afraid of the whole time.

    "Please let me exin," I begged,ing close to her.

    Instead of letting me near her, she pushed herself away from me, almost falling down in the process.

    "Exin what!" she yelled. "You lied to me. Why didn''t you ever tell me the truth?"

    I want to say something, anything,

    but my mouth is sealed shut. There

    is nothing I can say to make this

    better, unless I tell her the truth and

    tarnish Gabriel''s name in the

    process.

    "Tell me this one thing, did Gabriel know the truth?" she asked, looking at me with so much bitterness.

    I understand that she''s angry, but

    that look is breaking my heart. I

    debate how to tell her, knowing that the answer will bring more tension to our rtionship. She wasn''t a baby, she was old enough to understand things.

    "No, he didn''t," I whispered the two condemning words.

    "I hate you!"

    Without saying another word, she stomps away, mming the door in the process. I fall on my knees as all my strength leaves my body.

    I did everything I could to protect her, but I doubt she''ll ever understand that. I know she''s angry, but herst words break me and shred my heart into pieces.

    "Harper?"

    I look up to find Gabriel at my door. Cursing inside, I try to wipe away the tears that keep falling.

    Yes, I me him. I me him for everything, so he is thest person I want to see right now.

 Chapter 0398

    "What do you want, Gabriel? As you can see, I''m not really in the mood to talk." I get up from the floor while wiping away my tears.

    Lilly''s words were still stuck in my head, shredding me over and over again. Running my hands through my locks, I tried to get rid of the pain I was feeling. I knew this was going toe. I knew that she probably wouldn''t take it well.

    I mean, would you take it well if your mom told you that the man you thought was your father wasn''t? That you''ve been lied to and no one bothered to tell you the truth until they had to. I feel her and I understand her reaction. I just don''t know how to react to her words and the pain I saw in her eyes.

    "She didn''t mean it," Gabriel said, walking further into my room.

    I re at him, feeling something ugly rising inside me. "And how would you know? You don''t even know her well enough to tell me that she didn''t mean it."

    "And whose fault is that?" he spit out, ring back at me.

    I was angry and hurt. I was looking for a fight. A way to distract me from the pain I was currently feeling. Gabriel was my target, after all, he was the bane of my fucking existence.

    "And I would have told you if you hadn''t been such a fucking asshole," I snapped, getting close to him. "You were a man-child whore who thought about no one but himself. Why would I want my precious daughter near your disease-infested self?"

    I jammed my fingers on his chest, mastering all the frustration and anger I was feeling. I hated him so much. Was it too hard for him to love me back then? To give me a fucking chance? If he hadn''t pushed me away and treated me horribly, we wouldn''t be here.

    Now he''se back and as selfish as he''s always been, he has thought about no one but himself. He''s turned my life upside down all over again and I despise him for that.

    "Don''t try to me me for your fucking mistakes." The anger in his voice was clear, but unlike before, this time it didn''t scare me.

    "I''m not trying to do anything; I''m telling you facts. I me you and your fucking arrogant, selfish ways. Just like before, you thought of no one but yourself. About what you would have to lose. You didn''t think about me or the fact that I didn''t want you in my life. You didn''t think about Lilly and how you being in her life would unravel her world... No, you only thought about what you wanted. No one else matters." cing my palms on his chest, I pushed him, but it didn''t do a thing. He was pure solid muscle and my little effort didn''t even move him an inch. That made me even more frustrated and bitter. "Whatever happened a few minutes ago isn''t on me, Harper," he grabbed my hand when I went to push him again. "That''s all on you for failing to tell her the truth. What were you going to do if I hadn''t shown up? Continue lying to her, letting her believe that the fucker who raised her is her biological father. That''s cruel even for you."

    "Shut up!" I cried feebly. "If only you''d stayed away, none of this would be happening. Why couldn''t you just stay away? Why couldn''t you just find another wife?"

    Ripping my hand from his, I start pacing the room, feeling agitated. I wanted to go to my daughter, but I knew her. She wouldn''t want to see me right now. It would make her angrier if I invaded her space before she was able to process everything on her own.

    She was hurting, and I couldn''t do a fucking thing about it. I hated that so much. I just wanted to hold her and apologize.

    Dropping weakly on my bed, I covered my face and let the tears fall. I didn''t care if I was crying and being weak in front of him. I just wanted Lilly. I did her wrong, but I wanted us to be alright. I wanted her to take back her words. I wanted her to understand.

    "Harper," he called, this time his voice was soft.

    "She hates me, and I can''t even tell her the whole truth. How can I tell her the reason why I left or the reason why didn''t tell you about her? How do I exin to her that you loathed me, that she wasn''t nned, and that I was afraid that if I told you, you would ask me to get rid of her? I was afraid you''d hate her just like you hated me. How do I tell her that our marriage was nothing but hell? Tell me, Gabriel, how can I tell her the truth without tarnishing your name in the process?"

    I couldn''t hold it anymore, and the sob escaped my lips involuntarily.

    I continued. "How can I tell her that I was only protecting her?"

    "You never have to protect her from me, Harper... I will always be there for her."

    I pull my hands away and look up at him. "Sure, right now, but what about back then? Let me ask you, what would you have done if I''d told you was pregnant? Would you have epted her knowing she''d be cramping your lifestyle? Would you even have believed me?"

    His silence tells me everything I need to know. He wouldn''t have believed me, thinking I was trying to trap him and even after proving that it''s true I was pregnant, he mostly likely wouldn''t have cared. He wouldn''t have wanted anything or anyone interfering with his bachelor

    life.

    Sniffing, I stare at the carpet floor, my mind a mess. My vision was blurry due to my tears, but when I wiped them away, Gabriel was squatting in front of me. "Harper..." he called, but I didn''t look at him.

    It''s after he touches my hand that I look at him. His hand was warm on mine. My eyes shift from his piercing eyes to the hand that was on my forearm.

    "Don''t worry, I''ll go talk to her," he said softly, and before I could react, he was up and gone.

    I continue staring at my forearm transfixed. I''m surprised because this is the first time Gabriel has ever touched me intentionally.

 Chapter 0399

    Gabe.

    I can still feel her soft skin under my skin. For a moment, I wanted to run my thumb across the pulsing joint on the inner side of her arms.

    This new version of her is intriguing. She''s a spitfire, and her new attitude is something I can see myself getting obsessed with. I like my women, confident, sexy, and have a fiery personality. I fucking love it when they put up a fight and push right back.

    She''s transitioned into that kind of woman, and it has me intrigued. She''s feisty and isn''t afraid to tell me to go fuck myself. Why the hell wouldn''t I be attracted to that?

    When we were married, she was boring. Her boring personality made her dull in my eyes. There was nothing exciting about her. She was way too submissive, while I liked my women with ws. She did everything she could to please me and catch my attention.

    She bent backwards to get me interested in her, not knowing that she was just pushing me further away. Harper was timid and shy back then. It was also obvious that shecked self-confidence; that alone was a turn-off.

    Sighing, I push those thoughts away. Push my new curiosity when ites to Harper Beckett, now Wood. Secondster, I want to punch something because it''s not easy to banish the feel of her skin or the vision of her in her sexy nightgowns.

    They drive me fucking insane the way they mold to her new curves like they were made specifically for. I''m an ass kind of man, but her breast got me seeing nothing but their roundness. Fuck! I need to get my head straight. Harper is thest woman I want to get involved with. I don''t do love, and she looks like the kind of woman who easily falls.

    Shutting those thoughts down, I walk determinedly to Lilly''s room. I promised Harper that I would talk to her, and that''s exactly what I was going to do, though I had no clue what I was going to fucking tell her. That''s the other thing that got my heart in a fucking grip. I could understand why Lilly''s tears would affect me, but why Harper''s? An ufortable feeling settled inside me when I saw her on the floor, crying her eyes out. Her hurt made me ufortable and I didn''t like that one fucking bit.

    "Lilly, can Ie in?" I knocked once and asked once I reached her door.

    There''s silence, so I knock again. I wasn''t going to get in without her permission. Being around Noah has taught me that even kids need their own privacy when they''re dealing with something. Luckily for me, momentster, the door slightly opens.

    Her eyes are red and puffy. It''s obvious she''s been crying and that thought breaks my fucking heart. I haven''t known her for even a month, and she already has me wrapped around her finger. "Can Ie in?" I asked, hoping that she would tell me yes.

    She nods her head and then opens the door wider to let me in. I get in without wasting a single moment.

    Her room was a girl''s paradise. When my PI told me about her, I had my interior designer design the room for her. I was nervous she wouldn''t like the room, but I was d when she did. "Mom told me the truth," she began in a soft voice. "That you are my real dad and Liam wasn''t."

    The pain in her voice guts me. Kneeling down, I pull her into my arms. I rub her back in small circles as she continues to cry. I waited for her to calm down while I tried organizing my thoughts. I never once thought that I''d be in this kind of situation, but here we fucking are.

    Once she calms down, I pick her up and walk with her to her bed. I sit down with her on myp and then wipe her tears.

    "First of all, I want you to understand that Liam is still your dad, even though he isn''t blood rted," I told her. "He raised you and was there when I wasn''t, that makes him your father, Lilly."

    I hated the fucker. He connived with

    Harper to keep Lilly a secret from

    me, but I also can''t deny that he was there when I wasn''t. That he epted and raised Lilly, knowing that he wasn''t his daughter. It takes fucking guts to raise a child that isn''t yours and love them unconditionally. That''s why I respect Rowan and why

    I respect Liam.

    "Now, that being said, I want you to understand that from here on, I n to be your father and be there for you." I finished and kept quiet, waiting for her reaction.

    "Mom said you didn''t know about me," she whispered.

    "Yeah, that''s true, but I don''t want you to me her. She did what she thought was best and at that time, wasn''t ready for a baby girl. It''s not something that you''ll understand right now, but in the future you will, and I hope you''ll forgive me for not being ready for you."

    I''m sure I was butchering the exnation, but this was what I had. After what Harper has been through and done for her, I didn''t want Lilly to hate her.

    "You want to be my dad?" she asked in a vulnerable voice.

    Hugging her close, I whispered in her ear. "Definitely... I n to be in your life way after I''m old and gray."

    She sighs in my arms, and a kind of warmness settles right in the center of my heart. This felt just right. I''ve hugged Noah and Iris thousands of times, but this felt different. This felt like my fucking soul was aligning and molding itself to hers.

    "I was angry, but I don''t hate mom," she whispered against my chest. "I''ll tell her sorry."

    "I''m sure she''ll love to hear that."

    A movement ?atches my eyes. Looking up, my eyes sh with

    those of Harper. She had a soft look

    in her eyes while looking at the two of us. For some reason, I wanted to see that look every day because, just like with Lilly, it brought a new and different kind of warmness into my heart.

 Chapter 0400

    Harper.

    "What are you looking at thiste into the night?" the deep voice startles me from behind.

    "God, you scared me," I muttered, trying to calm down my beating heart. "Don''t ever sneak up on me like that."

    Gabriel walks around the Kitchen counter andes to stand on the opposite side. The moment he does that and my eyes take him in, my throat goes dry all of a sudden. I feel parched, like I haven''t had water in ages and swallowing bes a big damn problem.

    Gabriel had nothing on except for a pair of grey sweatpants that hung low on his hips. The damn man was a masterpiece with the body of a Greek god. With his broad shoulders, abs for days, and that damn V that would drive any woman crazy,

    He had a trail of dark hair that started at his navel and disappeared into his pants. It''s as if it pointed to the direction of paradise.

    I want to pull my eyes away but it''s impossible. They drink him as if he were their only source of water. I stare at every nook and cranny of his body, noting the tribal tattoo on his chest. That is a new addition. It wasn''t there when we had sex years ago and seeing it makes me curious about its meaning.

    There was no denying that Gabe was a fine specimen, especially now. Don''t get me wrong, even back then he had a great body and was fit, but now it''s something else. Gone is the boyish body and in its ce is the body of a man.

    "See something you like?" his arrogant tone pulls me from the trance his naked chest had me in.

    I scoff to hide my embarrassment at being caught. "Please, I''ve seen better."

    "I doubt that, Harper," he said with an infuriating smirk.

    "Of course you''d say that... Your ego won''t allow you to ept otherwise."

    It''s all a lie, though. I don''t want topare, but he was right. I''ve only been with two men, Liam and Gabriel. Liam was okay; he exercised and was fit, but his body didn''te anywhere near Gabriel''s. Gabriel''s is the kind of body women dream of. All muscles and no fat in sight. Strong, sexy, and mouthwatering. It''s the kind you imagine running your tongue on, and I am ashamed to say that I am imagining that right now.

    Shaking my head, I push those thoughts away. I was just sexually attracted to him. I haven''t had sex in two years, so of course I would react like this to seeing him almost half naked. In fact, I would react like this towards any man, there''s nothing special about Gabriel.

    Keep telling yourself that. A voice whispered inside me.

    Yeah, I will continue telling myself that. Being delusional is better than facing reality anyway.

    Turning my attention to Gabriel, I find him staring at me. Correction, staring at my breasts. I watch with amusement as he swallows. I guess I wasn''t the only one affected.

    "See something you like?" I throw his question back at him.

    "No," he answered gruffly.

    I hide my smile. Looks like I am not the only one living in denial. Anyway, it doesn''t matter because nothing will ever happen between me and Gabriel. That ship burned and sank years ago. We are both quiet after, and the atmosphere is awkward as hell.

    Clearing my voice, I ask. "What are you doing up?"

    It was past midnight. Unlike in our previous marriage, he has been trying toe back home early because of Lilly and then leave in the morning after she wakes up.

    "I couldn''t sleep," he simply answered. "You?"

    This is so weird. We never had this in our previous marriage. We never sat down and talked. He neverforted me when I cried. Hell, the man didn''t care back then. Now things seem to have changed, and I don''t know how to handle it.

    "I''m going through a list of schools that Lilly can join," I replied.

    Given that I''d agreed to the contract and we were now married, for the next two years our lives would be here, so I needed to settle Lilly.

    "She can join Noah''s school. Lakewood Preparatory," he said casually.

    I just stare at him like he has grown two heads. I know the school. Hell I used to go there. It''s the only school for the rich and affluent in this city. "You do realize that I can''t afford that kind of fees?" I asked.

    Sure, I took Lilly to a good school back at home, but it wasn''t as costly as Lakewood. Lakewood is way, way beyond my paycheck.

    "You can''t, but I can," he leaned forward on the counter.

    "Absolutely not... I won''t let you pay her fees."

    "I''m her father and I can afford it so let me." I go to interrupt him but he cuts me off and continues. "Look, I''m nning to introduce you two to my family this weekend. She''ll get to know her cousin. When she joins, it won''t be that bad for her because

    she would have Noah."

    I stop and think. No one likes being the new student and he''s right. It''ll be better if there''s someone there she already knows.

    "Fine," I grumbled. "Just this once."

    "Good, I''ll get my assistance to handle everything and she can join at the beginning of next week."

    "Okay. Given that that''s settled, I''m going to sleep."

    School searching is what kept me upte into the night, and now I didn''t have to worry about it. Standing up, I''m about to turn around and leave when his voice stops me.

    "One more thing, Harper," he said,ing to my side. "Tomorrow you''ll start working with me." he finished, more like hemanded.

    What the hell?

    "Absolutely no," I snapped.

    "Yes...Now, expect you to be up and ready, bright and early, because you''ll be riding with me."

    Before I can wrap my head around his words or give him a piece of my mind, he turns around and saunters out the kitchen, leaving me fuming and all alone

 Chapter 0401

    Gabe.

    I wake up with a groan and my dick is as hard as granite. Fuck, when I decided to sign a marriage contract with Harper, I had not counted on how hard it would be. I didn''t count on how she would affect me. I had the worst case of blue balls, and my dick screamed from how painfully hard it was.

    Getting out of my bed, I walk the small distance to the bathroom, my cock pointing the way. I still don''t know how the fuck this is possible. I mean, I''m not a fucking teen boy who can''t control his desires. I can''t even remember thest time I woke up with a boner. Yet it hasn''t even been a month since Harper came back, yet I''m acting like a damn school boy.

    I honestly don''t even know how this is possible. I don''t get how she can affect me when she never did before. Apart from her curves and attitude, she''s still the same Harper I knew before, so I don''t understand why she now affects me so much.

    Pushing those thoughts to the back of my mind, I step into the shower. My cold water can help take care of my very hard problem.

    Minutester, I get out of the shower still hard and so fucking frustrated. I know it''s probably been way more than thirty minutes. The longest shower I''ve ever had while alone.

    Toweling off, I head to my bedroom, not bothering to cover up. It was almost six in the morning, so I wasn''t afraid that Lilly would identally walk into my room unannounced. If she has noticed that her parents aren''t sleeping together, I don''t know, because she hasn''t said a word.

    Sitting on my bed, legs spread open, I grab my dick in a hard and tight fist. I haven''t done this in a long time. I haven''t had the need to since I wasn''t bed partners to take care of things.

    Her image shes behind my closed eyes, shocking me to the core. I had not nned on thinking of her, but the moment I closed my eyes she''s all I could see.

    A groan leaves my mouth when an image of tits bouncing up and down while she''s riding me takes root in my mind, bing clearer and clearer as seconds pass.

    I could almost taste, and I could almost feel her wet pussy as it easily slid down on my dick. I could almost feel just how tight she is and how fucking good she felt as her pussy walls gripped me tightly. My thrusts be hard as I push up to m inside her over and over. I grab her hips, holding her steady as I pound her,pletely forgetting that she''s the one in control. That she''s supposed to be riding. I feel the familiar tingling down my spine. There''s an anticipation as my balls start to throb and tighten with each and every stroke.

    "Gabriel-"

    At first, I think I was imagining her voice, but at the sound of the door opening, my eyes snaps open.

    Harper was standing at the door, her eyes wide with shock. She seems paralyzed, as her eyes move from my face to my dick.

    I don''t know why, but I don''t stop. I keep eye contact with her as I continue to pump my cock, groaning as the buildup continues to rise. My eyes fall to her chest, she was still wearing her fucking nighties that kept driving me insane.

    The image in my head changes and I imagine myself cuming all over her tits. My balls tighten, and I close my eyes as I feel my climax travel all the way from my balls to the tip of my cock. Within seconds, I''m cumming, and it has never felt better.

    I milk my dick and when I''m done, I open my eyes. The door was now closed and Harper was nowhere to be seen. Getting up, I clean myself up before putting my suit on.

    I can''t say that I''m embarrassed that she saw me, though I know it would surprise her if she knew she was the one I was imagining.

    Sighing, I leave my room and go to hers. I knock and minutester, she opens it, her eyes wide.

    "Why aren''t you ready yet?" I asked, while snapping my cufflinks into ce. "We should be having breakfast right now."

    "I-I" she stammered, seeming like she was having a hard time forming a sentence.

    "I admit I got distracted," I said with a smirk. "But we''ll bete if you don''t hurry up."

    She seemed flushed. I grin, not really sure if it''s because she''s embarrassed she caught me in the act or something else. Either way, I don''t mind she saw me jerking off. "I don''t think this is a good idea," she finally managed to say the words.

    "And why is that?"

    "Because-" she tries toe up with a reason, but she fails.

    "If this is about what you saw-" her cheeks turn into a deep shade of pink.

    "No it''s not," she cuts me off, though her stammering voice says otherwise.

    "Then working with me shouldn''t be a problem, unless I affect you in some way. Is that it? You''re afraid you can''t stay away from me once we start working in close proximity. Are you afraid that it''ll only be a matter of time before you are begging for my cock?" I goaded her.

    I smile triumphantly when my words affect her.

    Her fist clench. "Why you, infuriating, egoistic ass-"

    I cut her off before she could finish. "Look, it doesn''t matter, okay? Think about it, you want to take over Unity ventures and do a better job at running it. What better way to do that, than to learn from one of the

    best?"

    I see her contemting that and also see the moment she resigns herself to the truth of my words.

    "Get ready, so we can get going," I told her, and then turned around to leave after she nodded her head.

    Thirty minutester, she walked

    inside the kitchen. She had little makeup on and her hair was thrown in a bun, with loose tendrils framing her face. She was wearing a silk creamy pink blouse that showed a bit of cleavage, a tight ck pencil skirt that showed her

    ck

    ''fuck me'' heels.

    I swallow hard. Damn it, this was going to be a long two years.

 Chapter 0402

    Chapter 25 Harper.

    Jackson, one of Gabriel''s drivers, opens the door for me and I get in, Gabriel slipping in beside me.

    I still can''t believe that I''d agreed to this, but deep down I know that it made sense. Gabriel was right, there was no better way to get experience running apany than learning from the best. When it came to business, Gabriel and Rowan were the best out there. They even surpassed their father who had retired but was still head of the board members.

    It took me a while to get ready because I couldn''t decide what to wear. I worked from home most of the time and when I did go to thepany, I put on casual clothes since thepany I used to work for was a bitid back.

    I wanted to look presentable and make a good first impression. I didn''t have a lot of work clothes and I nned to go shopping this weekend. Money was tight, but I could do with a few skirts and blouses. After settling on what to wear, I went to have breakfast. Gabriel had given me a quick once over before going back to his phone. After I was done, it was time to leave. Lilly wasn''t awake yet, so I left a message with Sharone.

    "So, what kind of work will you assign me?" I asked once Gabriel was seated and we started moving.

    His presence filled the entire ce and his cologne was intoxicating. The way he filled the space next to me with his broad shoulders and muscr thighs took me back to a few hours ago when I walked into his room unannounced.

    The image of him with his fist around his long, thick and hard cock makes my mouth water. Don''t judge me. It''s been a few years since I''ve gotten any action. Any woman in my position would salivate at that. I try banishing the memory, but it''s no good. I can''t stop seeing his eyes locked on mine as he fisted himself. Neither can I unhear his groan of pleasure nor unsee as his cum shot up from the tip of his cock. I clump my thighs together to try and stop the throbbing down there. This was wrong on so many levels. I should be lusting after him. Not him. Not the same man that broke my heart into a thousand pieces years ago.

    "Harper-"

    I screech, when I hear my name. I turn to look at him, burning with embarrassment. I''m damn afraid that he''ll see or somehow sense that I''ve been picturing his dick.

    I wonder what or who he was thinking of when he was jerking off. Nope, definitely no. I''m not going to go there.

    His eyes narrow into slits, and I''m so fucking afraid he''d sensed what I was thinking of. I can feel my burning cheeks, and I''m sure it''s a dead giveaway that my thoughts werepletely dirty. "Why the hell are you so skittish?" he asked, and I swallowed before adjusting myself in my seat.

    "Nothing" I replied quickly. "I''m just a bit nervous, that''s all."

    Damn it, I really needed to get myself under control. Maybe I was just using what I saw as a way to distract myself from being nervous. I was going to Wood''s Corporation, after all. That alone would make anyone nervous.

    "And why don''t I believe you?"

    "I don''t know" I snapped, a little irritated with myself for thinking about him naked. "And it isn''t my damn problem."

    His lips thin and his chest puffs out as he takes a deep breath. "Anyway, as I was saying... I think you''ll learn more from me, it makes sense if you are my P.A."

    Fuck. I had not thought we''d be

    working this close together. I thought he''d just hand me over to one of the departments or

    something. Being his P.A meal

    that

    we''d be spending more time together than I''d originally nned.

    It''s not what you''re thinking, but it was already hard enough that I saw him at home, now at work too?

    "I don''t think-"

    He cuts me off before I get the chance to finish what I wanted to say. That just irritates me even more because he''s growing a habit of

    doing that a lottely. He''s a man et

    that likes to take charge. I

    understand that, but I''m also a woman that hates being controlled. He just makes decisions without

    even consulting me first, and I hate

    that.

    "Since that''s settled, let''s get out" he said, staring at his watch. "We are already here."

    At his words, I look outside the window. It''s then that I realize we were in the underground and the car had been parked.

    Jackson opens the door and my heart begins beating wildly. Damn it, I was so not ready for this.

    "Are youing?" he was already out of the car and was looking at me in question.

    Maybe I should have fought harder to stay home instead of agreeing to work here with him. Anyway, it was already toote for me to back out now.

 Chapter 0403

    "Harper, will you get out of the car? You''re wasting my time", Gabriel snapped at me.

    I lift my head and look at him. His brows were furrowed, and he seemed to be impatient and irritated. I sigh before getting out. This was the Gabriel I was used to. Cold, arrogant and rude.

    I straighten my skirt before taking my handbag. He starts moving, and I follow behind him like amb being led to the ughterhouse. I was so nervous, I felt like my heart was about to jump out of my fucking chest.

    I was stepping into Gabriel''s world. Into his domain. It was a bit ufortable and scary being in a ce where he had full control of every single aspect.

    Gabriel presses the button for the lift and it opens. Stepping in, I stand beside him and try to cool down my wildly beating heart.

    "The only ones who have ess to this elevator is my family, and it takes us directly to the upper floor where our offices are" he begins, then continues. "I''ll add you to the system, so you don''t have to use the ordinary elevator."

    I''m astonished at this level of prestige. Yes, my family was rich, but we never had a private elevator in our building. Everyone, including the CEO and founding family, used the two elevators provided. "Okay" I answered.

    "I''ll also provide you with your own car and driver" he added, while taking out his phone. "You know that I workte, and I''m sure you''d want to go home early because of Lilly, so you can be leaving at five like the rest unless I want you work past hours. He can also drive you anywhere else you want to go."

    I nod my head, I didn''t need my own driver and I could drive myself, but I wasn''t in the mood to start an argument with him.

    Being home in the evening was one of the things I was worried about. He made it home only a few minutes before Lilly went to sleep. I''d like to be there with her after work hours. Help her with her homework and have dinner together. I''m d he was considerate enough when it came to my evenings.

    "We''ll be arriving to work together except on those days I have to be in the office earlier than usual, and on the few days when I leave work early" he said.

    "Why?"

    I don''t get it and to be honest, it''s not a good idea to be around each other this much. I don''t want any distractions. My main goal is to finish these two years and walk away with my family''s legacy. "We are married. People expect us to be in love. Everyone knows that I''m not exactly a one-woman man and no woman has been able to tie me down-"

    I cut him off before he could finish his sentence, "In other words, they know that you''re a manwhore."

    He res at me, but it doesn''t really faze me. He can re all he wants. I said nothing wrong. I was only stating the facts.

    "Like I was saying, they know me, so they''ll think there has to be something special about you for you to be able to bag me, hence we have to give them what they want, the lovey-dovey kind of shit... That includesing to work together, opening doors for you, eating lunch together and attending events together. We can also go for dinner dates and such crap."

    "You''re not serious" I stared at him in shock.

    It wasn''t enough that I had to work alongside him, but also to eat lunch together and attend functions? That''s just spending too much time together.

    "Oh, I''m serious" he beamed at me, obviously being sarcastic. "The board wanted me to settle down and get married. We have to sell it to them that I have finally found my match."

    The door opens into an exquisite space, with white walls, expressive art and an expensive-looking carpet. He ces a hand on my lower back and guides me.

    "Good morning Mr. Wood," two women say in unison, stopping us.

    They stare at me curiously, their eyes zeroed in on Gabriel''s hand on my back.

    "What are you doing here?" he asked them, his voice as cold as Antarctica.

    A pretty blond answers, her voice stammering in the process. "We were just delivering the documents you asked for from the MD and head of finance."

    "You know fucking well you''re not allowed up here. Let this be thest time youe here. Either have Christophere get the documents or let Tristan and Bene hand over the documents themselves... Am I clear?"

    You can clearly see the fear in their eyes. Their legs were shaking and honest to God, I was afraid they would pee on themselves.

    "Y-yes sir" they stammered before rushing off as if the pants were on fire.

    "Why are they not allowed on this floor?" I asked him after they left.

    He nudges me to continue walking. "About two years ago one of our employees tried to steal an important document, so he could sell it to our biggestpetitor That file would have cost us billions had itnded in the wrong hands. Since then, Rowan and I agreed that only the higher ups and our secretaries would be allowed on this floor."

    "Damn, that''s terrible... where is the person now?"

    "Dead" he replied in that same detached, cold voice.

    I can''t stop the gasp that escapes my lips. "You killed him?"

    "No, but by the time we were done with him, he wished he was dead" he spat. "He ended up killing himself in prison a few monthster."

    "You don''t seem to be bothered by that."

    Gabriel stops and faces me. His eyes sent chills down my back and reminded me just how dangerous this man was.

    "You have to understand one thing

    here, Harper, no one steals from me

    or hurts my family and gets away with it, so yes, I''m not bothered that the asshole killed himself. In fact, I slept like a damn baby when heard the news."

    He continues walking, guiding me as if he hadn''t just revealed the lengths he would go to punish those that offend him.

    Moral of the story, don''t get on Gabriel''s bad side, or you''ll end up dead by your own hands and not his. Doesn''t matter if he didn''t kill you, the point is, you''ll be dead either way.

    I don''t know which one is worse.

    Him killing you or him driving you to

    kill yourself. Either way, I''m going

    try and keep as much distance. between us. It can''t be that hard to engage with him only when it''s about work or Lilly, right?

 Chapter 0404

    He begins walking again and I follow behind him.

    "This is Rowan''s office" he says after we stop in front of a door.

    It had his brother''s name on it. I nod my head, not really sure why I needed to know that. Sure, I''m going to work for him, but will I really need to engage with the other higher tops?

    "My office is right next to his, but let me give you a quick tour before I let my other P.A show you the rest and guide you on what you''ll be doing."

    "That''s really not necessary... I''m sure you P.A can give me a tour. You must have a lot to do" I tell him in a sickly-sweet voice.

    Gabriel is infamous for sleeping with his personal assistants, and he has never really tried to hide that dirty fact.

    It bothered me so fucking much when we were married. I hated knowing that he was my husband, yet he couldn''t keep his dick in his pants. It''s not like I couldn''t give him sex if he wanted, but I knew he never would have asked.

    Apart from being a manwhore who enjoyed a variety of women, Gabriel liked the fact that it hurt me. He used it as a way of punishing him for us getting married. I just didn''t understand his need to punish me. It''s not like he was forced to marry me, he is the one that came to me and proposed after speaking to my brother.

    His behavior confused me for such a long time. Why ask me to marry him when he knew he wasn''t going to be faithful to me?

    Since I came back, I''ve done some research on him,and over the years, nothing has changed. He still banged his secretaries and anything with a vagina. Thest thing I want is to meet the woman he had been fucking before the Board forced his hand.

    "It''s no trouble... I''m your husband, it''s the least I can do" his rich voice pulls me from my thoughts.

    "Honestly, Gabriel, don''t trouble yourself" I insist, trying to get him to leave.

    I was stuck in an impossible situation. I didn''t want to be around him, but I also didn''t really want his damn P.A to give me a tour. I''m sure I could figure out things on my own.

    Instead of answering or agreeing, he grabs my hand and pulls me down the hallway. The man was fucking stubborn. Didn''t he have some documents he needed to look at? Or meetings? Didn''t he get the fucking hint that I really didn''t want him around me?

    I fume as we move down the hall, and he shows me around. There weren''t many rooms on this floor. The main ones were Rowan and Gabriel''s offices, the boardroom and a lounge area that came with a small bar area.

    "Any questions?" he asks after he''s done with the tour.

    He still has my hand in his, which is weird. Weird that he hasn''t let it go and even weirder that I haven''t.

    He leads me to his office. The

    interior designer sure did a wonderful job with it. It was very masculine with its grey color scheme. I''m an interior designer and

    can appreciate that whoever it is, did

    a great job.

    Remembering that he''d asked me a question, I pull myself from admiring his office and turn to him.

    "Yes, you said that I''d be your P.A, what exactly would I be doing?" I ask staring at him.

    "I''ll have my other secretarye in... You''ll be working together, so he can guide you on how I like this" he answers, but I''m stuck on that one word.

    "He?"

    He looks at me as I stare at him with shock. Walking to his office, he grabs the phone and lifts it to his ear.

    "Christopher, will youe in?" he says into the phone before putting it down.

    Secondster, there is a knock on the door, before it opens to reveal a man I assume is Christopher.

    "You called Boss?" he asks as he stares at me curiously.

    "You weren''t at your desk when we got here," Gabriel noted, his eyes narrowed.

    Christopher doesn''t seem fazed by Gabriel at all.

    "I''m sorry about that, I''d left to collect the weekly reports from the departments. They''re on my desk right now."

    There is a beat of silence before Gabriel moves and sits at the edge of the desk. My eyes involuntarily move to his powerful thighs. There was just something powerful about a powerful man doing this pose.

    Shaking my head, I banish those

    thoughts. There must be something wrong with me. Otherwise, why is it

    that one second, I''m attracted to

    him and the next, I''m hating him because of how he treated me in the

    past.

    "So let me make an introduction, so we can get back to work" Gabriel says, his voice not revealing anything.

    "Harper, this is Christopher, my secretary, and Christopher, this is Harper, my wife" he introduces us in a very t tone.

    "Wife?" Christopher looks as shocked as I am.

    We both stare at each other, surprise evident in our faces. For him, it must be because of Gabriel''s new status as a married man, as for me it''s the fact that he has a male personal assistant. Since the fuck when did that happen?

 Chapter 0405

    "It''s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Wood," he says after a while, giving me a blinding smile. "It''s a pleasure as well" I respond, shaking his hand. "And you can just call me Harper."

    "Since that''s out of the way, Christopher, Harper will be working beside you. I need her to learn a few things, so please show her everything there is to know," Gabriel says, pulling out attention to him. "Absolutely Boss"

    He''s about to turn, but then stops. "And please don''t tell anyone she''s my wife as yet. If anyone asks, just stay quiet." he adds, before rounding the desk and taking his seat.

    Christopher''s eyes shift from me to Gabriel. There was a look of confusion, but I couldn''t clear it for him. We had agreed that until Gabriel''s parents knew, we wouldn''t announce of marriage.

    "You can both leave" Gabriel told us in a distracted voice. His were on the documents in his hands, and we no longer existed for him.

    "Come on, Harper," Christopher holds the door for me. "I can start by first giving you a tour of the departments, that way the other employees can meet you."

    I step through the door and Christopher follows behind me. He starts walking and I follow in step.

    "How long have you been Gabriel''s P.A?" I ask out of curiosity.

    If I am being honest, I am still a little bit surprised that Gabriel has a male secretary. If I were to guess correctly, then it wasn''t his decision.

    "About five months now" he replies. "The board hired me after-"

    He keeps quiet, holding back as if afraid that he''s going to offend me or something. Doesn''t he realize that I know my husband?

    "After he slept with thest one?" I finish for him in more of a statement than a question.

    He clears his throat as if I''ve made him ufortable. "Well-well-"

    He''s struggling for words, but I know what I said is the truth. The board thought they could control Gabriel. I guess that''s where me and Christophere in.

    "It''s okay" I mutter, trying to clear the awkward atmosphere. "I knew Gabriel long ago. I know what he''s like, Christopher."

    After that, we are quiet as he ushers me to the elevator. This one was much different from the private one Gabriel and I rode.

    "First stop, the finance department", Christopher smiles as the door opens.

    We walk out and into an open space. All eyes turn to us and I spot one of the women from earlier.

    "Where do you want to start?" Christopher asks, while I''m trying my best to calm my nervousness.

    I hate it when the attention is on me. It makes me feel suffocated.

    "Anywhere is fine with me" I stammer the words while wishing that every single person could just mind their own damn business and stop staring.

    He was about to lead me yet again when a man stopped him in his tracks.

    "Christopher, there is something I need you to check out" he said, giving me a curious nce before they settle on Christopher.

    "Is it important?"

    "Yes" he simply replied.

    Christopher looked conflicted.

    "Is it okay if I leave you here for a little bit?" he asks, his voice full of guilt. "I promise it won''t take long.

    I wanted to shout at him not to dare

    leave me. Instead, I smile and nod my head. They leave, and I''m left standing in the middle of the open space like a damn idiot... well, that''s untika gorgeous woman with sses, looking a sexy librarian,

    approaches me.

    "So, you are the bitch that has Gabriel''s attention now?" she sneers, sizing me up down, "Don''t get used to it, you may be his vor of the month, but that''ll change soon." I take it back. She isn''t gorgeous, she is a bitch with a capital B. How can someone be so vicious?

    My eyes shift to the blonde from earlier. I guess she couldn''t keep her mouth shut.

    "Stay the fuck away from Gabriel, he is mine, do you understand?" she whispers, her face close to mine.

    I take a step back as my face hardens and something cold takes root inside.

    "I don''t know who the fuck you are

    and I don''t fucking care... You need to watch the way you speak to me because I''m not someone you can easily bully" I grit out through clenched teeth, anger washing over me. s?novel

    "Is everything okay?"

    We had not noticed Christopher approaching us, and we turn to face him.

    I force a smile. "Yes, she was just leaving."

    With a huff, she turns and stomps away. Christopher turns to me with a concerned look.

    "That''s Milly, don''t let her sweet

    innocent look fool you... You need to

    watch out for her. She can be a viper

    when she wants to" he tells me in a soft voice. "Honestly, I don''t even know how she''s still here when she''s a bully."

    son

    I just smile at him as I watch Milly re at me.

    The rest of the day goes without anymore encounters, but something tells me that Milly is going to be a problem. A big fucking problem.

 Chapter 0406

    When Gabriel told me that we would be visiting his family during their weekly barbecue, I didn''t think it would be this soon.

    Yesterday was hectic at the office. It was clear that Gabriel had an entourage of female employees that wanted a piece of him. To be honest, I didn''t mind. He couldn''t help that he was smoking hot. What I minded was some of the hateful and jealous looks I got from some of those women.

    If I had thought that Milly was the only one that wanted to stake her im, well I had been wrong. I can''t tell you the number of times I was stopped by some women when Christopher had sent me down toplete a task.

    Apparently, the two women Gabriel had scolded were responsible for spreading the news that I was Gabriel''s new woman. I guess his hand on my lower back said it all. The good news is that they all thought that I was a fleeting hookup, and he would soon get tired of me.

    They felt it was their ce to warn me not to get toofortable around here because Gabriel would get tired of me in a few weeks. I wonder how they''ll react once word gets out that I am his wife.

    When the clock struck five, Gabriel surprised me bying home with me. That''s when he told me about the weekly barbecue at his parent''s house. I spent the whole night hyperventting and thinking of all the things that could go wrong.

    "You''re up early" his smoky and deep voice pulls me from my thoughts.

    "I couldn''t sleep, so I woke up to make breakfast" I reply taking a sip of my coffee.

    Gabriel told me that we could leave at noon, but I just couldn''t sleep. By the time dawn came, I was already awake. I know that I''d crash after and sleep like the dead after this day is over, but I didn''t mind. I am used to it. I am used to being unable to sleep when I am anxious about something and then falling asleep after whatever thing I was anxious about passes.

    He stares at me in shock. "You''ve been up all night?"

    Thankfully, he had a t-shirt on today, so I couldn''t get distracted by his broad chest. That being said, his closeness and body heat are making me ufortable. Ufortable in that, there is a strong pull towards him.

    "No, I got around three hours of sleep, but that''s enough" I whisper, trying to push the need that arises inside me.

    To distract myself, I pour him a cup of coffee. "Do you still have your coffee ck with no sugar?"

    "Yes" he nods, and I grab a mug before pouring the liquid nectar inside.

    It used to shock me that he could take his coffee like that. I never really understood how he could take it with no sugar or milk.

    "Why do you take it like that? Isn''t it bitter?" I askpletely puzzled.

    I''ve always wanted to ask him, but he was never home enough for me to ask... And when he was, we never shared any kind of meal.

    Liam liked his with sugar and cream.

    He couldn''t take it any other way. Thinking of him makes me realize that I haven''t thought about him or his death since we moved herez was so busy with my new life that I wasn''t constantly thinking of him or how his loss affected me,

    "Harper?"

    I pull my eyes and focus on Gabriel Forcing the thoughts of Liam into the back of my mind. I liked the fact

    that wasn''t sad most of the fact

    That I wasn''t constantly thinking of him.

    I clear my throat, "Hmm?"

    "I asked if you wanted to try it," Gabriel says, shocking me. "I can''t really exin why I love it this way, but maybe tasting it will shed some light."

    I slowly nod, putting my cup down as he hands me his. I don''t know how to feel about this. About him offering his cup. The same cup he has already taken a few sips from. I mean, his lips were on it. Do you get how huge that is?

 Chapter 0407

    I am in a trance as pick up the mug and bring it to my lips. Well, that is until its taste hits my mouth and I end up spitting the liquid out.

    "That''s disgusting. How do you even stand it?" I question, wiping my mouth.

    For the first time, I hear Gabrielugh. It''s a deep and sultryugh that does things to my body. The kind ofugh that makes you forget your name. Am I the only one who findsughs attractive? He shrugs his shoulders, "It''s something you acquire a taste for over time. It''s not for everyone."

    It''s like I''ve lost my damn voice, so instead I just nod my head. I''m still stuck on the fact that Gabrielughed. Hisugh then turns into a beautiful genuine smile. One that I have never seen before. It''s captivating and part of me hates that it captivated me.

    "Are you okay?" he pushes himself close. "You look awestruck."

    "You have a beautifulugh and smile"

    The moment those words are out of my mouth, I feel like punching myself. Why would I say that? Why would I let those words slip from my lips? Thest thing I wanted was for him to think that I still had something for him.

    "What?"

    "Nothing" I rush to say, before spinning around and grabbing a kitchen rag to wipe the small droplets that fell on the counter when I spit the coffee out.

    I could feel my cheek burning from embarrassment. I let my head fall, so my hair could hide my ming cheeks.

    Gabriel was different. So fucking

    different from before and it was starting to affect me. Part of me liked this new him, but the other was desperate for the viin he was. That way could continue hating him and keeping my distance.

    "Harper-" he calls my name, but I continue wiping the counter,pletely ignoring him.

    In fact, I am about to escape to my

    room in the next two seconds. I needed to get my head straight. Keep myself focused and my head back in the game. There was no time for old feelings. I couldn''t allow myself to get lost in him like I did years ago.

    Gabriel wasn''t a one-woman kind of

    man. There was also so much

    history between us. So much pain and hate for us to ever work out. Falling for him again would only fead to disaster. Getting involved with him will lead to my heartbreak. I

    couldn''t allow that.

    I couldn''t go back to the girl whose heart hurt and bled day in day out. It would kill me to go through that a second time. I had Lilly to think of, and she deserved a mother who was not nursing a heartbreak. Throwing the rag in the sink, I was about to leave when he grabbed my hand, pulling me to him.

    "Look at me, Harper," hemands.

    When I don''t obey, he ces his finger on my chin before lifting my head. My eyes sh with his intense grey ones. I couldn''t handle the intensity, so I shift my eyes, trying to look at anywhere except at him.

    A gasp leaves my mouth when he runs his finger along my lips. I stare at him only to find his eyes fixed on my lips. There was a need throbbing inside me. Something was pushing me to move closer and seal our lips.

    It seems like he has the same thought because he starts to lean down. I close my eyes, as I feel him close, just a breath away.

    "What are you doing?" Lilly''s voice breaks the spell, making us jump away from each other.

    My heart is beating wildly as I stare at my daughter, not really sure what to tell her... Andpletely horrified that I almost kissed Gabriel.

 Chapter 0408

    Lilly was staring at us, her eyes shifting from me to her father. I see the questions in them. The curiosity concerning me and Gabriel.

    Like I said, this wasn''t supposed to happen. I wasn''t supposed to be attracted to Gabriel after all these years apart. I honestly thought that I''d with my attraction to him. That his treatment of me years ago, had killed everything I had felt for him.

    How wrong I was. Here I am, yearster, almost kissing him. I feel terrible that I had allowed that one moment of weakness. That I''d allowed myself to be lured by the cravings of my body.

    "Were you two about to kiss?" Lilly asks innocently, and I can''t help the sharp inhale that I take.

    My mind was a mess. I didn''t know what to tell her. Should I just tell her the truth? Even so, it''s not like I can lie when she literally caught us red-handed.

    "Uhm-uhm-" I struggle to find the right words to tell her.

    At the back of my mind, I was also worried. Liam is the only man Lilly has ever seen me kiss. The only man, other than Gabriel who has been in my life. What if I say ''yes'' and she takes it the wrong way? I know that Gabriel has been trying to build a rtionship with her, but for more than five years, Liam has been her dad. I just don''t want her thinking that I''m betraying the man who raised her, even though now am married to her biological father.

    "Yes" The answer to her questiones from Gabriel.

    I turn and re at him. What is he thinking admitting it to her like that? What is he thinking admitting it in the first ce?

    Part of me wants to just ignore the whole thing. Pretend that that mistake didn''t happen. I am embarrassed that Lilly caught us, but more importantly, I am embarrassed that, at that time, I''d wanted him to kiss me. Craved for him to seal our lips together.

    "Oh, okay... can I have breakfast?" she asks, sitting down on one of the bar stools at the kitchen counter.

    I couldn''t tell what she was thinking because her emotions were well hidden. I desperately wanted to know, but deep down I know I can''t push her. Not now anyway, when she still hadn''t forgiven me for lying about her dad.

    "Will you serve her while you have yours?" I turn, and ask Gabriel.

    I couldn''t be here after what happened. I needed to get away and pull myself together.

    "Sure" he answers.

    With that answer, I quickly drop my mug in the sink, and leave the kitchen. I rush to the safety of my room, get in and lock the door behind me. Leaning against it before sliding down.

    I feel like I''ve betrayed myself. That by almost allowing myself to be kissed by Gabriel, that I''ve done myself an unforgivable wrong. This is the same man that hurt me over and over again years ago. This is the man that broke me and shattered my heart into a million pieces. He did everything to destroy me. Everything to hurt me. He ruined me in the worst possible way. How then can I even for a second think of kissing him?

    Haven''t I been burned by him before? Didn''t I learn my lesson from what happened years ago? Getting involved with Gabriel will only lead to disaster. I can''t risk getting hurt again, no matter how much it seems he has changed.

    Getting up, I wipe the tears and head to my bathroom. I still had a few hours to get ready and to get my emotions in check.

    Taking off my clothes, I jump into the shower after setting it to the highest temperature. Maybe I can burn away the tingling I still felt after his hand made contact with my skin.

    I''m not sure how long I was in the shower, when I finally got enough, turned it off and got out. Wrapping a towel around my body, I open the door and get out. I am surprised to find Lilly sitting on my bed. "Lilly, is something wrong?" I ask, holding the towel tighter to my body.

    I can''t remember thest time I had a conversation with my daughter know that she was angry with me and rightly so, but every time she ignored me, it drove a dagger deeper into my heart.

    She would leave the room when I entered,pletely ignore me when I talked to her and push me away every time I tried getting close to her. Let''s just say it''s been a hectic week and I miss my daughter so fucking much.

    "Can we talk?" she whispers, the sadness in her voice breaking my already broken heart.

    "Give me a second to change" I answer, grabbing the clothes I had prepared before rushing to the bathroom.

    A few minutester, Ie out dressed and sit next to her.

    "I wanted to say, sorry" she says in a small voice. "I know I was angry, but I shouldn''t have treated you the way I did when you''re the best mom anyone could ask for."

    Blinking my eyes rapidly, I try to push back the tears that threatened to fall. I gently grab her hand and bring it to my lips.

    "I want you to know that I didn''t

    mean it when I said I hated you..det

    was just angry, and it has taken me a while to realize you didn''t lie to me because you wanted to hurt me"

    "Lilly-" my voice is croaky when I say her name.

    "No mom, I want to apologize, and I hope you can forgive me for being stubborn and disrespectful. Please don''t hate me."

    Seeing her tears, I pull her on myp even though she''s older now and has outgrown it. I fold my arms around her and hug her close.

    "I could never hate Lilly; do you hear me? Never" I soothe, in a shaky voice, trying my best to keep my emotions in check.

    "I love you, Mom"

    "I love you too, baby girl" I whisper, feeling my throat clogging from my emotions.

    We stay like that until we hear a knock on the door. She climbs down from myp and crosses the room to open the door. Gabriel was standing on the other side. Whatever I felt was just an attraction, nothing more. As long as I don''t fall for him, then I am safe. I could deal with my attraction to him, but I couldn''t deal with love. "Are you two ready to go?" he asks, his eyes on me.

    "Yes" Lilly answers for both of us.

    "Good... Let''s go then". With that he turns and disappears.

    I stand up, pick my purse and cross the room to where Lilly was standing waiting for me.

    I was about to get out when she grabs my hands and stops me.

    She gives me a cheeky smile right before she says, "Just so you know, I wouldn''t mind having a little brother or sister."

    With that, she lets go of my hand and walks away, leaving me rooted to the floor.

 Chapter 0409

    Gabriel''s call has me moving from the same spot that Lilly left me. I still can''t believe that she would say that to me. When Liam was alive, she never seemed bothered that she didn''t have siblings. She never asked for one, so I''m curious where the sudden shift came from.

    Now I know you''re wondering why Liam and I never had kids despite being married for such a long time. Truth is, we did try. Liam always wanted a family, kids of his own. I know he loved Lilly like his own, but he also wanted his own blood.

    I wanted to give him that. I wanted to thank him for being there for me when I had no one. For marrying me and giving Lilly a family. Having his baby wasn''t much to ask for, and I saw no problem with it.

    Like I said, we did try, but nothing happened. It wasn''t until a year before his death that he finally agreed to go for a check. It was heartbreaking to learn that he couldn''t have kids. That day at the office, I saw a bit of his light fade. Learning he couldn''t father a child, broke something inside him that day.

    He wasn''t the same after that. There was always a kind of sadness and darkness clinging to him after that day.

    Pushing those painful thoughts behind me, I get out of my room and follow Lilly and Gabriel''s voices.

    "I was just telling mom, that I wouldn''t mind if you two gave me a sibling," Lilly tells her father.

    I stop in my tracks, not believing she could say such a thing to Gabriel. Gabriel, on the other hand, seems caught off guard by her question.

    "Oh, look, we arete... How about we get going? We don''t want to keep your grandparents waiting, Lilly" I interrupt, saving Gabriel from having to answer the awkward question.

    I move and grab Lilly''s hand, directing her from the room. We get into the elevator, since we lived in a penthouse with a private elevator. It was silent as we were riding down the floors.

    I was anxious, but I was trying my best to push the anxiety down. The one thing I was afraid of was Gabriel''s parents hating me for hiding their grandchild. We hadn''t talked much about the first meet up, but we agreed that I would let him do all the talking.

    The elevator pings once we get down. It opens, and we get out, heading straight towards to the waiting car. Once inside, the driver takes off.

    "Why haven''t any of you said anything about siblings?" Lilly asks a few minutes into the drive. "Don''t you want more children?"

    I sigh in frustration. I should have known that Lilly wouldn''t let the matter go that easily. She was stubborn to the core, just like her father.

    I did want more children, but how could I tell her that it wasn''t possible with Gabriel? She doesn''t know the terms of our marriage, and I hope she never has to. With the contract in ce, there was no hope of expanding the family. Plus, I doubt Gabriel wants any more children with me, given how he hated me back then.

    "Lilly, this isn''t the ce to talk about this" I try to skim over her question, because without knowing she was putting me and Gabriel in an awkward situation.

    "But I really want to know" she then turns to Gabriel. "Since you are my father, is it okay if I call you dad?"

    Both me and Gabriel are shocked when she asks that. This was a big step for both of them. A really big step.

    "Yes, I''ll be honored" Gabriel replies in a chocked-up voice full of emotions.

    "Perfect, now answer my question" she says, staring directly at him.

    Without meaning to, I chuckle at her one-track mind. I loved Lilly''s tenacity. She isn''t one to give up on something so easily.

    "You''ll get siblings, but in the near future" I chime in, saving Gabriel from having to answer.

    Gabriel''s intense eyes were on me. Shifting ufortably in my seat, I turn to Lilly so that I could avoid his prating gaze.

    I wasn''t sure if I''d ever get married

    again, but am sure that once

    Gabriel meets his match. The

    woman who''ll bring him to his

    knees, he''ll start a family and Lilly can have her siblings.

    Shrugging her shoulders, she looks at me. "Good enough... but I''ll remind you if you decide to take your sweet time, as you can see, I am not getting any younger."

    She honestly reminds me of those nagging parents that are always pushing their children to give them grandkids.

    "Fine" I grumble. "Anyway, are you excited about meeting your Dad''s family?"

    "Yes!" her scream reverberates through the small space. "I have so many questions, and I am dying to meet them. I hope they like me."

    "I''m sure they will, Lilly. You have nothing to be afraid of," Gabriel assures her, which works because she visibly calms down.

    From there, the ride is filled with Lilly

    telling us all the things she''s going to ask her grandparents. All the

    things she''s going to talk about with her cousin, and her excitement

    about joining the new school.

    All too soon, we enter arge estate right before the car stops at a humongous house. Back then, our house was huge and so was our estate, but it had nothing on the Wood''s family home. The driver stops the car, gets out and opens the door for us.

    "Are you ready for this?" Gabriel asks, grabbing both my hand and Lilly''s.

    "Nope... Definitely no" I murmur, trying to push my nervousness down.

    "Everything will be okay, trust me"

    I want to, but I just can''t.

    He leads us towards the door. When we get to it, he unlocks it and ushers us in.

    "Mom! We are here," he shouts, as we walk along the expansive hallway.

    Gabriel''s mother is as beautiful as I remember her. You can''t even tell that she''s in her early sixties.

    ???

    "You don''t have to shout, are you trying to break my ear drums, Gabe" she says, walking out of what I presume is the kitchen, holding a dish towel while wiping her hands. "And what do you mean by ''we Rowan is already here with his family, so who are you talking about?''

    When Gabriel doesn''t answer, she lifts her head. Her eyes firstnd on Gabriel, then me. There is confusion in them as she stares at me. They then shift to Lilly, who waves at her. Her eyes grow wide in shock and that''s the only warning we get right before she copses.

 Chapter 0410

    Gabe.

    "Mom!" I yelled and rushed to her.

    She was lying motionlessly on the floor. No one had to tell me that it was the shock of seeing Lilly that caused her to faint. Just like with me, she only had to take one look at those grey eyes to know Lilly was a Wood.

    I gently p her cheek, but it does nothing to wake her up. Sliding one hand under her shoulders, and the other one under her knees, I lifted her into my hands and carried her to the nearest sofa. "Dad! Rowan!" I shouted for them, afraid to leave my mother alone.

    "Is she okay?" Lilly asks in a small and vulnerable voice. "Did I do something wrong? Is she unconscious because of me?"

    The tears swimming in her eyes were my undoing. In such a short time, she had be embedded in the very fiber of my being. Seeing her crying hurt me. I honestly don''t fucking think I''ve ever loved someone as much as I loved Lilly. Even my own twin couldn''tpete in my heart with her.

    Before I could answer, Harper stepped in.

    "No, darling" she answered as she ced a wet towel on my mom''s forehead. I had not even realized that she had gotten one.

    "Then why did she faint after seeing me?" Lilly demanded; her eyes firmly fixed on her grandmother.

    "It''s just a shock", Harper pulled our daughter into her arms. "Remember how I told you Gabriel didn''t know about you? His family also didn''t know. She was just shocked to see you, baby. You did nothing wrong."

    I pulled her from Harper''s arms and into mine, before kissing her forehead. "Your mother is right. You did nothing wrong. Seeing you just came as a surprise to your grandmother."

    "What in the hell is going on here?" My dad''s booming voice made Lilly jump in fright.

    She rushed and moved to hide behind Harper. It was fucking weird seeing this. It''s like the confident girl I was used to just disappeared into thin air. My dad has that kind of effect on people. He can be an intimidating bastard when he wants to.

    "I asked what the hell is going on here?" he asked again, moving to kneel before my father.

    He doesn''t seem to have seen Lilly, because his whole focus is on my mother. He ran his finger gently down her cheek, calling her name.

    My eyes shift from my wife and daughter to Rowan. His gaze holds questions, but I am not in the fucking mood to answer him yet. Not when Lilly was scared out of her mind and Harper was nervous and anxious.

    "Come on darling, open those beautiful eyes," my dad begged, in a very soft voice.

    Weirdly enough, it works and my mother''s eyes snap opened. Shooting up on the sofa, she grabs my dad arm.

    "what happened? Why am I on the

    sofa? I was supposed to be in the kitchen" she began while looking at my dad. She then shook her head as if to clear it "I had the strangest dream. Gabriel showed up with a little girl that sort of looked like him. She had the Wood''s signature grey eyes."

    Fuck. I mp my mouth shut to stop myself fromughing. It''s fucking hrious even though the matter at hand is serious.

    Lilly chose that time toe forward. "Hi, I''m Lilly"

    Mom''s eyes widened, but thank fuck she didn''t faint this time.

    "Look, Mark... It wasn''t a dream!" Mom then closes her eyes and exhales. "Or maybe it still is. That would exin why she looks like a girl version of Gabriel."

    Dad twisted his body to look behind

    him, when he heard Lilly''s voice. There was no denying the shock that was stered on his face. His eyes widened in the same way mom''s did. They then shifted from Lilly to me and then back. S

    "You''ve got some exining to do" he all but growled towards me.

    "Well, dad didn''t know. Mom kept me a secret from him, so you can''t really me him, Grandpa. Is it alright if I call you Grandpa? And don''t me mom. Dad said she had her reasons." Rowan and I stared at Lilly in surprise. Actually, we all do. Way to throw her own mother under the bus.

    "Could you please take Lilly to meet her cousins, Rowan?" I asked, almost begging.

    I needed to exin things to my

    parents. As much as Lilly was trying

    to exin things, she totally

    butchered that exnation. She

    didn''t know some things and thest thing wanted was my parents

    putting the whole marper for missing out on their

    granddaughter''s life.

    "You better start talking, Gabe" Mom and Dad say at the same time.

    Mom seemed to have recovered, so it was now or never.

    I motioned for them to follow me to the study for some privacy. Taking Harper''s hand in mine, I guide her as my parents follow behind us. Once we were all in, I closed the door behind us before helping Harper to sit.

    I sat down beside her, then turned to my parents.

    "This Harper, my wife, and Lilly is our daughter" I tell them, ripping it off like a band-aid.

    It takes a few seconds for the information to load in their brains, and the moment it does, they explode.

 Chapter 0411

    Chapter 32.

    I knew that their reaction would be explosive. It''s not every day that you''re told you have a daughter-inw and a granddaughter you didn''t know about.

    My father starts pacing, and I just fucking know what he''s thinking. Dad trained both me and Rowan. We always know what he''s thinking because we think in the same way.

    He was probably wondering how this happened. Wondering if I took a paternity test to make sure that Lilly was indeed my daughter. He would also be thinking if Harper had managed somehow to fool me, trap me. He''s in a thinking mode, trying to work all the angles.

    "H-How did this happen? How do you have a wife and daughter all of a sudden?" mom stammered, trying to form the words.

    Her face was still etched in shock. Her eyes shifting from me to Harper who was staring at the floor silently. She was nervous. Panicking on the inside. There was this strong push to hold her. To give her reassurance through my touch.

    My strong reaction towards her puzzled me. It wasn''t like this before when we were married, so what the hell changed? Why is it that all of a sudden, I wanted to do things I never wanted to do before? "Answer your mother, Gabe" dad''s authoritative voice pulled me from my thoughts.

    "We were involved a few years back" I started. "I didn''t know that I''d gotten her pregnant when I kicked her out of my life. It wasn''t until recently that I found out that she had my child."

    I didn''t want to tell them that we were married before. Those same strange feelings pushed me to protect her. My parents would be livid if they found out that her brother had threatened me. I know my parents; I especially know my mother. She doesn''t take kindly to those who mess with her boys. What Ava went through by my mother''s hands is a clear example of what happens when someone messes with us.

    Andrew wanted me to marry Harper because he knew she had a crush on me. After all, we did move in the same circle. I''m still convinced that she was in on it, but my parents don''t need to know that part. I don''t want them to hate her.

    "So, she hid your child from you for years?" mom demanded, and I could feel her anger rising.

    "Yes, but it''s because I wasn''t really kind to her."

    My dad stopped, before taking a seat next to my mom. "What does that even mean?"

    I sigh, not really ready to have this conversation but knowing that I need to. "It simply means that I she wasn''t at fault. I was a total douchebag to her. I was immature and a fucking chip on my shoulder, so I took it out on her. If I were in her shoes, I would have done the same. I''m d she didn''t tell me because looking back at that younger version I''m fucking sure I would not have epted her pregnancy"

    Everyone is quiet when I''m done speaking. Harper is looking at me with wide eyes, dad''s look is indescribable and mom is looking at me with disappointment.

    I continue speaking, burying myself

    in deeper shit. "I''m not like Rowan, who immediately took responsibility when Ava got pregnant. With how was then, I would probably have asked Harper to get rid of the pregnancy."

    "I''m disappointed to hear you say that, Gabe... very disappointed" mom whispered sadly.

    "When did you get together?" Dad asked immediately mom stopped speaking.

    "A few months after Ava and Rowan got married" I answered.

    "I remember that time, Rowan was acting out, getting drunk and doing drugs while you were sleeping with anything that walked, that means you cheated on her multiple times" Dadmented thoughtfully.

    I don''t say a fucking thing, because

    what could I say? What he said is the truth. did cheat on Harper and didn''t even bother to hide it. I rarely spent time at the house we stayed in and would only see her asionally. I despised her for colluding with her brother to threaten and trap me.

 Chapter 0412

    Thanks to her brother, I knew she wanted me and it gave me the best weapon against her. I wanted to hurt her, to destroy and cause her pain for taking my freedom from me. It didn''t take a genius to figure out cheating on her would hurt her and so I did and I made sure she knew it. I wanted her to regret ever thinking of trapping me. It worked and every time I saw her, I saw the pain in her eyes. I know it makes me a monster, but it satisfied me seeing that pain there.

    "And how did you meet again after years?" mom proceeded when I didn''tment on dad''s observation.

    "I tracked her down," I shrugged my shoulders. "The board wanted me to get married and settle down and so I did."

    My mom''s eyes shifted to Harper. "And you agreed to marry him despite the despicable way he treated you?"

    I wince at my mom''s words. I hated disappointing her, but I couldn''t escape this.

    In the same way I did, Harper shrugged. "He has something I want, so I agreed."

    Mom and dad looked at each other before turning back to us.

    "What do you mean?" dad inquired, scrutinizing her.

    "My family''spany," Harper simply answered.

    "What would Gabe be doing with your family''spany?" this came from mom, whose eyes were closed into slits.

    Harper shrugs. "I don''t know. All I know is what he told me. That he took it after my brother died. I didn''t even know it was still there. I thought it died with my brother because after all it was going bankrupt" There is a beat of silence before they ask the question. I could see it in their eyes. They were dying to know who she is and who her brother is. It was clear as day.

    "Who is your brother, Harper?" dad leaned forward.

    "I don''t know if you remember him... Andrew Beckett"

    She tried to hide it, but I saw it. How her face scrunched up in pain for a moment when she mentioned his name, before getting her emotions in check. I didn''t really know how. their rtionship was, and I never bothered to care, but it''s obvious that she''s still in pain. That even after all these years, she was still mourning her brother.

    "You''re from the Becket family?¡± Dad asked, surprise coating his voice."1 remember they had a daughter and no one knew what happened to you after your entire family died. He finished insensitively.

    Harper winced at thatst statement, just as mom pinched dad''s arms.

    "Woman, why the hell did you pinch me?" he cursed loudly.

    Mom just red at him, before throwing her head in Harper''s direction. Harper''s eyes were now cast down, staring intently at the carpet...

    That same need tofort her was riding me hard. I fold my hands into fists, just to stop myself from reaching out and holding her hands.

    Dad realizes his mistake. "I''m sorry Harper, that was insensitive of me"

    "It''s okay, it happened a long time ago" she whispered sadly.

    "Yes, but that doesn''t mean it hurts any less, does it?" mom asked her in a gentle voice.

    "No, it doesn''t" she murmured, and I could clearly see her struggling to keep her emotions in check.

    There was an awkward silence after that, while every fiber in my body pushed me to hold her. Instead of giving in I push away that need and focus on my parents.

    "Okay, I think that''s enough for today" Mom''s voice cut through the silence "And right now all I want is a proper introduction with my granddaughter."

    Her smile was genuine when she

    talked about Lilly, but deep downt

    knew this conversation was far from over ''ll really get it from them when it''s just the three of us.

 Chapter 0413

    Harper.

    I couldn''t stop fidgeting even as Gabriel and I followed behind his parents. To be honest, the talk in the office went better than I expected. I don''t know what I expected, but it wasn''t their calmness, or maybe it was the calm before the storm?

    I also didn''t understand why Gabriel didn''t tell them that we had been married before. Despite how our marriage ended, it was the most logical thing to do. I didn''t like that he''d kept them in the dark. "Are you okay?" his voice pulled me back to the present.

    I looked up at him only to find his eyes staring intently at me. They were so piercing, it''s like he was reading me down to my soul. Pulling my eyes from him, I focused forward. "Yes, I''m still a bit nervous, I don''t know why, though" I answered truthfully.

    The worst part was already over, so I don''t even know why I was still anxious. Maybe it''s because I was going to be spending the day with his family. Maybe it''s because I could still feel his lingering breath on my skin when he almost kissed me. Hell, maybe it''s because he took the whole me for our failed rtionship.

    I didn''t expect that from him. I didn''t expect that he''d actually ept that he''d been the biggest douche bag back then. I was also still in shock at his revtion that back then he would probably never have epted my pregnancy.

    To be honest, I never thought of that. When I''d decided to keep my pregnancy a secret it was because I didn''t like the kind of person he was. I didn''t want my baby around his toxicity. I didn''t want my baby around a man who would willingly hurt his or her mother without a care in the world. To me, Gabriel was the devil incarnate.

    Even though those were my thoughts, my reasons, not once did I ever think that he''d reject my pregnancy or ask me to get rid of it. It never once crossed my mind, and maybe it should have.

    Trying to push those thoughts away, I fist my hands and focused on the pain as my nails dug into my skin. Everything that was happening, that has been happening since he found me was messing with my head.

    Gabriel was a viin. He''s been a viin since he broke my heart and treated me like trash. Now though, I was getting glimpses of a different man, and my mind was confused. Scratch that, I was getting pissed because I couldn''t reconcile the man that he was and the man that I''d been seeing glimpses of. It was fucking with my head and heart and I hated that.

    "Harper" he called gently, and I once again looked at him.

    "Hmm?"

    "You''re not okay, maybe we should leave and do this another day" he responded, his eyes searching mine.

    I was about to agree, but I stopped when we got outside.

    Lilly was ying with a beautiful

    little girl who looked to be about two years old and a boy who was about two years older than her. She looked so happy and at ease, and I couldn''t take that away from her.

    Her smile brightened when her grandparents approached her. They said a few words to her and she responded right before she flung herself at them. They both embraced her and gave her tight hugs. "No" I said, "Lilly loves it here and she seems to be enjoying herself. We can stay for a little while"

    "You want to head over to the rest of the family?" he asked after a few minutes of silence.

    "Let me just watch for a while, I love seeing Lilly this happy and free."

    Rowan soon joined with drinks and snacks for the kids. It didn''t take a genius to figure out that the boy was his son He was a mini-copy of him. It was like Rowan had been cloned, and the result was the boy. This boy was the son he had with Ava.

    "What''s the name of Rowan''s son?" I asked, still studying them.

    "Noah"

    Gabriel didn''t know, but he would always agonize over Rowan whenever he came home drunk. Rowan was a mess after Emma broke things off. He got even worse when Ava got pregnant and he married her.

    It was painful to hear all what

    Rowan was going through, but it

    was more so painful to imagine the kind of pain Ava was in. Having live with a man that loved your sister and agonized everyday at losing her was a special kind of hell.

 Chapter 0414

    Rowan seemed happy right now, so like I said, I''m assuming he got back together with Emma. That was the only possible scenario. From what Gabriel used to tell me, Rowan had hated Ava with a passion, just like Gabriel hated me.

    My eyes move to the little girl. She looked a bit familiar, but I couldn''t ce her face. Maybe she''s Rowan and Emma''s daughter though she looks nothing like the Emma I remembered. Then again, genes can be weird sometimes.

    "And the little girl?"

    "Her name is Iris¡± he answered, his proximity doing some weird things to me.

    Moving away, I tried to keep a little distance between us.

    I continued watching Iris, who was a ball of energy. She had these pretty blue eyes that I could see shining all the way to where I was standing. She didn''t look like Emma, but if I remember correctly, Emma had blue eyes, so Iris probably got them from her.

    "So, Rowan finally got together with Emma" I said softly. "When did they get together and how did Ava handle it?"

    Emma wasn''t really a bad person. We all went to the same school though she was older than me. Ava was the one who was my age.

    Unlike other popr girls, she wasn''t a mean girl who was bitchy and looked down on others. She was kind, smart and down-to-earth. That was what made her even more popr in school. She was friends even with the unpopr kids who nobody would talk to or associate with.

    That being said, I felt a more kindred spirit with Ava. We both weren''t popr. Both of us loved two brothers who didn''t give us the time of day. Both of us got married to those same brothers and were treated like shit... and we both got pregnant due to a drunk night. The only difference with us, was that I had a family that loved me while Ava didn''t.

    My heart went to her, knowing how Rowan getting back together with Emma must have caused her pain. I saw the wedding ring on his finger, so he must have married Emma.

    Is it weird that I want to look for Ava? Tofort her for the pain she must be going through. I, more than anyone, know how painful unrequited love is.

    The reason why I left this city, apart from the fact that I''d lost my entire family, is that I didn''t want to see Gabriel move on. I didn''t want to see him find his match and slowly fall in love didn''t want to see him getting married to the woman that was able t¨¦ capture his heart and start a family with her.

    It killed me just imagining that, so how could I live it? How could I live here in this city knowing he''ll never, be mine? This was also the very reason why I stopped reading gossip magazines and watching gossip shows. I just didn''t want to know. I didn''t want to see him give some other woman what he couldn''t give me. His heart.

    So, I''m guessing this must be hard for Ava. Everyone knows how long she has loved Rowan. She loved him just as long as I loved Gabriel. It must hurt knowing Rowan was now with his one true love (this is what Gabriel used to call Emma; Rowan''s one true love)

    "I didn''t catch that" Gabriel''s voice sounded right next to my ear.

    Pulling away, I looked back at Rowan. "I asked when Rowan and Emma got back together"

    "What are you talking about?"

    I turn to him only to find his face awash with confusion.

    "Rowan looks happy now, something that I never saw after he got married to Ava. He looks like he did back when he was with Emma so I''m assuming they got back together, married and had Iris given her blue eyes which are simr to Emma''s"

    For some weird reason, he looks at me like I''d grown two heads. Maybe I was mistaken and Rowan was married to someone else? "What are you talking about?" he asked, confusion still evident in his voice. "Rowan isn''t married to Emma. He''s married to Ava" My eyes widen at that revtion. Well color me shocked. I did not see thating. I guess a lot has changed since I was gone.

 Chapter 0415

    "He''s married to Ava?" I asked,pletely and utterly shocked.

    "Yes" he answered, then his eyes narrowed. "Why do you seem so shocked by that news?"

    Shrugging, I answered. "Probably because I am."

    And I was. I never once saw thising. Not one fucking bit. Like I said, Rowan loathed Ava, so how did he end up with her? How the hell did things change so much that he was now all rainbows and shit?

    The Rowan I remembered was moody, angry, bitter and had a chip the size of a whole gxy on his shoulder. He had a constant frown etched on his face and had rarely smiled. All that change happened after he slept with Ava and broke things off with Emma.

    This new version of him reminded me of when he was still with Emma. His face used to light up whenever he saw her or was near her. He constantly smiled as if the mere presence of Emma in his life made him happy.

    Given all these, you can understand my skepticism that Ava made him this happy. Unless something changed while I was gone. Something huge. Or maybe they just decided to stay together for the sake of their children.

    "It''s really not nice to assume things about other people" Gabriel''s voice interrupted my thoughts.

    I turned to face. "I wasn''t assuming anything, Gabriel. I just went by what I knew. I''m not saying this to be mean or anything, but it''s hard to imagine Rowan happy with Ava when he clearly hated her and for a long time too. What was I supposed to think? The only possible exnation in my head, given the hatred he had for Ava was that they''d divorced and he''d married Emma"

    There was a beat of silence as he just stared at me. It was like he didn''t know what to do with me or how to handle what I had just told him.

    When he didn''t speak, I continued. "It''s unfathomable that someone can get from that high degree of hate to pure love. I would say it''s nearly impossible for that to happen. It would take a divine miracle." "It''s been years, Harper. People change," he uttered in a soft voice.

    As the words left his mouth, I couldn''t help but wonder if he was talking about Rowan or himself. Instead of dwelling so much on it, I pushed that thought away, not really ready to ept his words. "So how did they reconcile? Or are they still together because of the kids?" I asked casually and curiously.

    "As you thought, they did get a divorce. In fact, it was Ava that asked for one. A few monthster, James died and Emma came back for the burial. We all thought that with Emma back it would be a done deal that she and Rowan would get back together. They did, but it didn''tst. None of us, including Rowan, counted on the effect it would have on him when Ava started moving on with another man."

    Gabriel then proceeded to give me a quick run down of everything that happened. It was a short summary, but it had every important detail. By the time he was done, I couldn''t believe it. "Well," I muttered still reeling from the shock. "I never thought I''d see the day when Rowan was in love with Ava"

    Just then Ava walked out of the

    house using a different door. As if sensing her; Rowan turned to his

    wife, his eyes and face lighting up at seeing her. She smiled and after cing some food on the table,

    went to her husband.

    Rowan quickly snagged Ava around the waist before bringing her close to him. Right in the middle of the backyard, he kissed her, not really caring that others were around.

    When he pulled away, she said

    something that made him throw his

    head back andugh. He then stared at her like she was the only one that mattered. Like she was the most important woman in his eyes.

    "Wow" the words slipped out of my mouth without me meaning to.

    elmet

    If I had thought the way he used to stare at Emma was beautiful and captivating, then I was so damn wrong. Nothingpares to the way he stares at Ava. Ava had Rowan wrapped around her finger. It was clear to see that she held his

    heart in her hands.

    "Come on" Gabriel took my hand and started dragging me to the rest of the family. "I''m starving."

    I couldn''t help but shiver when his warm hand engulfed mine. I tried to pull away, but he wouldn''t have it. He firmly held mine in ce.

    "I believe you''re the only one who doesn''t know about Harper and Lilly, Ava," Gabriel told Ava once we got to the rest.

    "Oh, I already know about them. I was just waiting for the official introduction," she answered, her eyes shining.

    Ava is a natural beauty, but when she smiled, it took her beauty to a whole new level.

    Gabriel groaned beside me, before looking at his brother. "Seriously Ro, you couldn''t keep this one thing a secret from Ava?"

    "Nope," Rowan smiled while popping the p at the end. "There are no secrets between us."

    Gabriel''s jab was meant to shame his brother, but Rowan didn''t look ashamed at all. In fact, he looked really pleased with himself.

    Ava rolled her eyes and pulled me in for a hug, "Forget about these two overgrown babies. I''m Ava, but you already know that, given, we had some sses together in high school."

 Chapter 0416

    "Hi" for some weird reason, I squeaked the word.

    Coming face to face with Ava was likeing face to face with your secret crush. I was all of a sudden sweaty and nervous. Instead of answering, she pulled me into a tight hug. It was a warm hug. It felt like hugging a soft and fluffy teddy bear.

    "It''s nice to officially meet you, Harper. Wee to the family" she whispered right before she stepped away.

    Gabriel then led me to the out-door setup that had multiple foods on the table. He moved me so that I was sitting right beside him.

    Did he get that I hated his proximity for a reason?

    Within seconds, everyone was digging in.

    "So, Harper, what do you do?" Gabriel''s mom asked.

    I swallowed, when everyone turned to look. I hated it when attention was focused on me.

    "I''m an interior designer," I replied, while trying to maintain eye contact.

    If there was one thing my mother taught me, it''s that eye contact was important, especially when it came to people from our world. The rich and influential viewed avoiding eye contact as a sign of weakness. My mother instilled in us to never show that weakness, no matter what.

    "That''s just perfect," Ava added. "I''ve been dying to change things in a few of the Hope houses. Maybe you can help with that."

    Lilly, ever the curious little thing, catches that quickly. "What are Hope houses?"

    "They''re homes my mom funded to help children who were less fortunate." Noah is the one that answers. "She''s the founder of The Hope Foundation and those houses give the children she helps a ce to call home."

    Noah was smiling, and you could see just how proud he was of his mother. You could also see the love he had for her. It seemed that both father and son loved Ava unconditionally.

    Lilly frowns, but then her face clears as if a light bulb just went on in her mind.

    "I know about the Hope Foundation. It''s one of the biggest children''s foundations in the country. No one knew who the founder is for the longest time."

    Everyone just stares at Lilly like she''s an alien from space. I, on the other hand, was quite proud of my daughter''s extensive knowledge.

    "No wonder you looked so familiar," Lilly told Ava. "You''re Ava Sharp, though you changed yourst name. Your foundation is worth millions of dors and you''re the richest woman in the country and the six richest overall."

    Damn she was good... That''s the thing about Lilly, she takes in information like a sponge absorbs water. Anything to do with money, Lilly probably knows all about it.

    "How do you know about all this, sweetheart?" Gabriel''s dad asked after the shock wore off.

    Lilly shrugged like it wasn''t really a

    big deal, and to her, it wasn''t. "I know things.want to be a billionaire when + grow up and in order to achieve my dream, I need to study the rich and how they make money."

    All eyes turned to me and I almost froze. The keyword being, almost.

    "She loves numbers" I added, "Actually, anything to do with finance."

    "And you encourage this?" my mother-inw asked.

    "Of course," I replied. "It''s her dream, so why would I stand in her way? Anything I can do to support and help her with achieving them, I will do it in a heartbeat."

    You could clearly see she was fighting back tears. "She''s just like her daddy. Gabriel also used to obsess over numbers when he was younger."

    "Mom", Gabrielined, and for a moment I forgot that he was a grown-up man. It''s like he was back to being a little boy.

    Seeing him like this, so different from the cold man I was used to, was overwhelming to say the least.

    Why couldn''t he be like this when we were married? Why didn''t he show me this side of him when we were together? Why now when I wanted nothing to do with him? Standing up, I excused myself. "Excuse me, I need to use the washroom."

    His mother points me in the right direction and I basically flee.

    When I get to the washrooms, I sigh in relief before leaning against the countertop, I didn''t want to feel like this. I didn''t want to feel the attraction between Gabriel and He already shattered me once. How can I risk it?

    There was a knock on the door, causing me to scramble to blink back my unshed tears.

    "A minute" I called out, trying to get myself together. Once I felt more like myself again, I walked to the door and opened it. To my surprise, Ava was standing against the wall. "Are you okay?" she asked. "You looked so overwhelmed back there."

    "How did you forgive Rowan? How did you move past everything?" the question just slipped past my lips without me meaning to. "He was horrible to you, yet you are now together."

    "You love Gabriel, don''t you?" she asked softly, her eyes conveying understanding.

    I pulled my eyes from hers. ¡°I used to, but it still hurts, sometimes."

    She surprised me even more when she pulled my hand in hers and squeezed it.

    "You and I are going to be really good friends, Harper, and just know that if you ever need someone to talk to, I''m here."

    I was grateful for her offer of friendship, but I couldn''t help but notice that she had not answered my question.

 Chapter 0417

    Gabriel.

    "Will you two be okay for the night?" I asked as I opened the car door for Harper and Lilly.

    "Yes" she answered, totally avoiding my eyes. "Don''t worry, we''ll both probably crash the moment we get inside" "Okay", I moved forward and kissed Lilly on the cheek. She already looked ready to drop. "Goodnight sweetheart" "Goodnight daddy" she murmured.

    Damn. I don''t think I''ll ever get used to her calling me that. Like I said before, when I found out about Lilly, I just nned to use her as ast resort to get what I wanted from Harper. Now though, it''s a totally different story.

    Every time she called me that, today, my heart swelled. I felt some kind of warmth seeping deep inside me. It was so different. Nothing I have ever experienced before.

    With a small wave and a goodnight from Harper, they turn and leave. After making sure that they were safely inside the building, I turned and got back inside my car, ignoring the look Harper gave me. It was full of distrust. Like she thought that I was about to go get together with another woman. In other words, she thought I was going to cheat.

    I didn''t tell her where I was going, when I announced that I would be dropping them off at the penthouse. I didn''t feel the need to tell her, but I know I should have.

    Pushing those thoughts away, I turned on the ignition and pulled out of parking. Ai was headed to one of our clubs to meet up with Rowan. Travis wasn''t joining us because he was still abroad on business. He''s looking for investors, trying to recover after Ava''s birth parents almost ran theirpany into bankruptcy.

    They did try with ours, but it was nearly impossible given that ourpanies are in the same league. Despite their failure to destroy us, it doesn''t mean that they weren''t able to cost us some billion-dor projects.

    "Iing call from Rowan," Siri''s robotic voice came through the handset. "Would like to answer it"

    "Yes"

    "Answering Rowan''s calls"

    "How far are you?" Rowan asked the moment the call was connected.

    "About thirty minutes¡± I replied, stepping on the gas. ¡°I''m just from dropping off Harper and Lilly. Are you already there?" "Yeah"

    "On my way then," I told him and secondster, he hung up.

    If I''m being honest, today went better than I''d expected. My parents were angry with me and not Harper. That was more than I''d wanted.

    Lilly had fun with Noah and Iris. I

    also saw a bond forming between them. It was marvelous to watch her fit in effortlessly with my family. As for Harper, she was a bit shy, but Mom and Ava easily weed her into the folds.

    For a moment, I saw her panic and nervousness. I felt her difort and the internal fight she was battling. Fuck was I thankful when she emerged from the washrooms with Ava by her side, and looking calmer.

    I get to the club in twenty minutes instead of thirty. Parking my car in the reserved area, I get out and walk to the entrance.

    "Mr. Wood," the bouncer greets, bowing a little.

    I heard groupies calling my name, wanting a free pass in, but I ignored them. Our clubs were very popr and people usually wanted to get in. We offer the best and people pay loads just to get in. It also doesn''t hurt that our clubs are luxurious.

    Heading to the VVIP section, I found Rowan seated, having a ss of brandy going by the bottle next to him. The good thing about owning your own club, is having your own private bar and your own personal bartender.

    "Want a drink?" Rowan asked, pointing to the bottle with his own ss.

 Chapter 0418

    I nodded, then dropped on the sofa as he poured me a ss. One that I needed.

    "I have to agree with what mum said, Lilly is just like you. She surprised me with just how sharp she is. How she knows a lot when ites to money." he said after taking a sip from his ss.

    I smiled proudly. "It''s the same way Noah is your mini-me. He''s so spot on when ites to knowing whichpanies have potential."

    And it was true. Noah was sharp when it came topany potentials, just like Rowan. Rowan can read newpany potential, even already establishedpanies.

    It''s because of him that we''ve never made a bad investment when acquiring a newpany.

    "I have a feeling those two will take the business world by storm. They''ll bring Woods corporation to even higher heights. Just like us, they''ll be the perfect duo." he voiced the same thing I was thinking. Taking my ss, I gulped the whole content down before adding more. The liquid burned as it traveled down my throat, but I didn''t mind. After taking the second ss, I started feeling the tension leave my body.

    "So, tell me" Rowan began. "What has been eating you the whole day? I could literally feel how tense you were."

    "I almost kissed Harper" I blurted out without thinking.

    "And?" he asked teasingly. "She''s your wife. I would think you do more than just kissing."

    Sighing, I ran my hands down my face. "You don''t get it. Our marriage is a fucking contract. I am not supposed to feel anything for her. I didn''t before, so why now?"

    "Maybe because things are different, Gabe. You''re both different people now, you''ve both grown and matured. It''s obvious that things won''t be the same."

    "She''s changed all right" I murmured. "The kitten has grown ws, and she isn''t afraid to fight back. I find it-" I stopped, because I couldn''t find the right words.

    "Hot? Sexy? Attractive?" he asked, using the very words I was avoiding. "I know you, brother, and I know you''re attracted to strong, confident women who can give as good as they get."

    Fuck. He was absolutely right. I find Harper''s new personality so fucking attractive. Every day I see her in those sexy nightgowns, it makes me want to bend her over the counter and fuck her into aa.

    "I shouldn''t want her, but it''s like my mind has forgotten that I hate her and it is driving me insane. Just today thad to fight myself to keep myself from touching her andforting her."

    He stays quiet for a while before speaking. "And Harper?"

    "I doubt she''d ever want me to touch her. She fucking hates me"

    "Well, I don''t me her. It''s a normal reaction given how much you hurt her. Remember what you told me back then about Ava? It''s the same thing. Harper is just trying to protect her heart. Experience has taught her that her heart isn''t safe with you. Of course, she''ll do everything she can to make sure you''ll never hurt her again."

    Running my hands through my hair, I stared intently at the amber liquid in my hand.

    "My fucking mind is a mess when ites to Harper. I hated her. This whole thing should be easy to pull off, why isn''t it?" I mumbled, my voice barely above a whisper.

    Two years. That''s how long I was supposed to tolerate her in my life before we got divorced, and she once again left my life. It was supposed to be fucking easy.

    Rowan smiled, before leaning against the couch. "You''ll soon learn that nothing is ever easy when you finally find your match, Gabe."

 Chapter 0419

    Emma.

    "Are you sure about this?" Molly asked, her worried eyes scanning my face. "Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?"

    Was I sure? Heck no. I don''t know what will happen. I don''t know how he''ll react, but I have to do something, right? "Yes" I nod, straightening my back in determination.

    I know I messed up big time. I know that what''s happening to me is my fault. It''s karma catching up with me, but I can''t let it stop me. I can''t sit around mopping wishing things were different.

    I put on the pretty sundress I''d chosen. It was white and had some blue flowers on it. I wanted to look presentable, down to earth and warm. I wanted to look inviting. Someone you feel at ease by just looking at them. Sundresses always give that illusion.

    "You do realize he might m the door shut on you face at first look?" Molly adds, bouncing on my bed like a little kid.

    I''ve thought about nothing since I decided to matters in my own. I''ve thought of nothing else, but how to change things between Gunner and I. I know it''ll be hard. I''ve neglected him so many times over the years that his love for me probably died.

    It fucking hurts my heart knowing that he views Ava more as a mother than me. Mom has told me countless of times how much he spends time at Rowan and Ava''s home. It fucking hearts but I don''t have anyone to me.

    Each day I wake up with guilt that consumes both my heart and soul. Each day brings a fresh onught of pain that I can''t escape from. It guts me each time when I open my eyes and realize the shit and pain, I''ve caused.

    My hearts constricts and I feel myself drowning in the darkness that''s been consuming. More than anything, I want to know my baby, but I also want a respite from the constant heartache.

    "Emma? Are you even listening?" Molly''s voice pulls me from the edge of the abyss.

    "Yes" I lie, and maneuver myself to my dressing table to do my make-up.

    I''ve be like a shadow of myself. Everything in my life has lost its meaning. I''m so fucking lost that some days I think it would be easier if I just ended it all.

    Working used to be my life. I enjoyed it. Loved it. I also loved social gatherings. Whether it was gs, charity dinners or just a simpleid back event. I loved them. Now, though, I don''t even want to wake up most of the time.

    I pick up my brush and just stared at myself in the mirror. Agony, guilt and regret stare back at me. This feeling of being out of control, lost, was like a cancer that was slowly destroying me from the inside out. Trying to bury those thoughts, I run my brush through my hair before picking up my concealer. I''ve always had clear skin, so I didn''t need much make-up. Just a concealer to hide my dark under eyes. Sighing, Molly stands up and walks over to me before cing a hand on my shoulder. "Have you thought about what we talked about? You should start seeing a therapist."

    "And what good will that do?" I ask, applying the concealer before blending it.

    "I can see it in your eyes. Every day, your light dims just a little bit. You have a lot to unpack. A lot of guilt, self-hatred and bitterness towards yourself. You need to talk to someone who can professionally help you before it''s toote."

    I didn''t want to hear any talk about a therapist. I can''t imagine telling my best friend all that I''m feeling, let alone a stranger. Where would I even start? That I''m having a hard time, drowning and the most appealing solution right now is suicide?

    "I just don''t see the need," I murmur and ce my concealer down after I''m done with it.

    I then take out my lip balm and apply a thinyer on my chapped and dry lips. There, I was done.

    "You may not, but you''ll understand

    once you begin. Let me book you a

    few sessions. If, at the end, you still don''t feel the need or any change, then you can stop going," she tells me gently, in a warm voice. "You have to realize that until you can forgive yourself, you can''t move past this, and it will always have a hold on

    you."

    I nod then stand up. Giving her the best smile I could muster, I twirl around. "How do I look?"

    She returns the smile. "Better."

    Eeh! I''ll take that. As long as I don''t look like a zombie, then it''s good enough for me.

    Today was Sunday so I knew that Calvin and Gunner were home. They rarely go out on Sundays choosing to rx and chill with each other.

    Calvin named it ''a boy''s day

    He tried involving me by telling me the little things he and Calvin did, but I always rebuffed him. Now, I regret not listening to those small details about my own son.

    "I have to go" I whisper, while

    searching the room for my smarket

    purse. Once I spot it, I cross the room to pick it up before turning to Molly and saying, "Wish me luck."

    "Good luck"

    With that, I leave the room after giving her a hug. Mom, Travis and Molly have been my rock, but I know they can''t keep holding me up. Eventually I''ll have to let go.

    "Do you want me to drive you somewhere, ma''am," one of our drivers tells me once I am outside. He was just cing mats inside the car.

    "Not today Henry" I reply softly.

    He nods before handing me the key. Getting in, I start the engine before peeling out of our driveway.

    It wasn''t a long drive. Just a couple of minutes, but that was enough to send me into hyperventtion.

    Now that I was in the car, I couldn''t believe that I was doing this. That I was going to Calvin''s house even though he told me to leave them alone. To stay away. Doubts starts filling my head, and I wondered if I should just turn back around.

    No! I needed to do this.

    I don''t know how I get to their home when my mind was in such a mess. Parking, I take a deep breath before opening the door and getting out.

    I walk the short distance, my hand clenched in front of me as I tried to calm down my nervous and racing heart.

    Getting to the door, I raise my hand and ring the bell. Minutester, I hear footsteps right before the door is opened.

    At first, Calvin''s eyes register shock before they quickly shut down and be cold.

    "What the fuck are you doing here?"

 Chapter 0420

    Calvin.

    "What the fuck are you doing at my house, Emma" I say through gritted teeth.

    Gunner and I were busy repainting his room, before the doorbell rang. Thest thing I wanted was for him to hear me shouting ande down only to see this bitch.

    I re at her as I feel my anger rise within me. My fists are clenched, and my jaw is mped tightly in an effort to stop me from blowing up.

    "I-I" she doesn''t finish the sentence, and it just pisses me off even more.

    Fuck this! I get out of the house and close the door behind me. I needed to get rid of her.

    "I asked you a fucking question, Emma!" I snap, gripping the door handle like a vise, just to center myself.

    After all the shit she''s put me and Gunner through, she now has the audacity to show up on my doorstep?

    The pain and heartache of over almost a decade. Did she really think that I would easily forget it? That I''d put it behind me and pretend like she didn''t reap my heart out over and over again. Pretend that she didn''t put my soul through a fucking mincer and shredded me to pieces?

    It fucking hurts. It still fucking hurts even now. The pain is constantly there. The scars aren''t fucking healed and I doubt they''ll ever will.

    "Please, I just want to see him. I want to see Gunner?" she pleads, tears filling her eyes, but seeing them does nothing.

    I feel nothing as I stare at her ashen and sad face. I feel nothing at seeing the pain and guilt in her eyes. She doesn''t try to hide her emotions but they still don''t move me. I swore to myself that I''d never allow myself to be used and manipted by her.

    "Really? I thought you didn''t want him" I scoff, folding my arms across my chest. "Weren''t you the one that was insistent on not having anything to do with him years ago, why the change of heart?"

    I sneer when her lips start trembling and her face twists as if she was in physical pain.

    "He''s my son"

    "Is that right?" I ask. "You are nothing but an egg donor. It''s unfortunate that Gunner had to have you as a mother to be honest. If you want to see the true meaning of being a mom, then look at Ava. She''s a fucking mother, and you''re nothing but an immature spoiled brat that thinks people are toys she can y with."

    Another onught of pain shes in her eyes and she stumbles back as if I''ve hit her.

    "Ava is twice the woman and mother you''ll ever be. With all your beauty and brains, what did it get you? Always feeling like you''re better than her, but in real sense you aren''t even fucking close. You were a nasty bitch to her and look at her now. She has the man you''ve always wanted, a son and daughter while you have nothing."

    My words were aimed at eviscerating her. They were meant to destroy her and bring her to her knees. She''s always hated Ava. Always hated beingpared to her, so I knew this would destroy her. Call me cruel, but seeing her in pain eases something inside me. After the shit she put me through, she deserves this and more.

    Despite the pain I wanted to inflict, I couldn''t hide my self-loathing. She isn''t wholly to me. I take some of the me because I allowed her to use for so long.

    I wanted her. I loved her. She was

    my soul, yet she never felt anything for me. I stayed with her and tolerated her treatment because I''d hoped that one day she''de to love me. That she''d see just how good we were together and that she didn''t need Rowan''s love. Not when she had my heart in her fucking hand.

    That day never came though. Over and over again she proved just how selfish and self-centered she was. She cared about nobody but herself and that stupid love she held on to for a man that cheated on her with her sister.

    When my eyes opened and I had

    enough, my love turned sour. I hated her. Loathed her with everything that I am. At Right though. When my son is asleep and I''m lying alone in my huge bed, I allow myself to hate

    myself too, because I gave her the power to treat me as she did.

    "Please, Calvin" he begging pulls me back to her.

    She''s changed. She''s lost weight and some color. She is nothing like the woman I remembered. Her light was gone, and she looked like a shadow of her former self.

    "Please what, Emma?" I push her hand away when she tries to touch me. "You think you can regain what you lost now that the man you''ve held on to for so long doesn''t want you? You have to be fucking insane to think I''ll let you use my son fucking band-aid for your bleeding heart!"

    "I just want to make amends, please let me."

    "Get lost, Emma. It''s toote for your fucking apologies" I snarl.

    I was about to turn around when the door opens and Gunner pops his head out.

    "Dad-" his words stop when he sees the woman that gave birth to him.

    "Gunner" Emma calls in a whispered voice. "I came to see you"

    I frown and clench my hands at her directness. Why was she so pushy? Where was this determination years ago when it mattered?

    Gunner''s eyes quickly sh over her beforending on me. Despite everything, I love my son.

    It pains me to have to ask him, but if he wants Emma to be in his life, then I can''t stop him.

    "Do you want to see her?" I gently ask, trying to mask my hatred and anger at Emma.

    His blue eyes, so simr to his mother''s nce over her, again. They shut down, and an indifferent look takes over his features.

    "No" he all but snarls the words.

    That''s all I needed to hear.

    With a nod, and a bit of pride, I step away from Emma, get inside with my son and m the fucking door in her face.

 Chapter 0421

    Harper.

    I get out of bed feeling like I''ve been run over by a track. I didn''t get a stitch of sleep yesterday. You could tell by how sluggish and slow I was this morning.

    Looking at my phone, I see that it''s a little past five in the morning. I know that I won''t be able to go back to sleep so I just get up. Gabriel had told me that he had a gym, so I put on some leggings and a sport bra and then leave my room.

    I had a long day ahead of me. Today is Monday, and it''ll be Lilly''s first day at school. I wanted to be the one to take her. She seemed a bit nervous when she went to sleep, but she tried downying it.

    The only thing that gave herfort was knowing that Noah would be with her. She had told me that Noah had promised to introduce her to all his friends. It was so sweet and kind of him. It was clear that he was raised right, and given how kind Ava was towards me, I didn''t expect anything else.

    I walk through the still dark hallways trying to maneuver my way to the gym. I remember Gabriel telling me it was on the top floor so that''s where I head.

    On my way, I pass by Gabriel''s room and for a moment I stop. Don''t look at me like that. I have no freaking idea why I stopped. There was just something that pulled me to a stop. There was no light and sound so he was probably still asleep.

    I literally have to force myself to move. Thest thing I wanted was him waking and finding me outside his door standing there like a creep.

    Within minutes, I find the locked doors. The lights were on, but I don''t think anything about it. I realized that he sometimes works out at night, so maybe he forgot to switch them of yesterday.

    I open the door and step inside. I freeze in my trucks. Gabriel was definitely not asleep.

    Instead, he was t-shirtless on the treadmill. I swear I could see sweat dripping down his chest and, fuck did it do things to me.

    I wanted to look away, but I couldn''t. I couldn''t stop staring at his wide chest or the muscles that rippled underneath his skin. My eyes were fixated on him. Drinking him up like they were thirsty.

    "You done staring? Or should I flex my muscles and give you more of the show" his arrogant filled tone, pulls me back to the present.

    It''s then I realize that he was no longer running on the damn thing. Shit. He''d stopped and he''d caught me staring him like a damn perv.

    "I wasn''t staring" I mutter, stepping further into the room.

    My cheeks were probably red from embarrassment.

    "Could''ve fooled me" he says with a tinge of amusement.

    I sneak a peek before finding a corner to start my workout. I''ve haven''t seen Gabriel since he dropped us after we spent the day with his family.

    I wanted to ask him where he was going. Who he was going with. I wanted to remind him that we both agreed that there would be no cheating. I wanted to so much, but I stopped myself.

    I''m ashamed to say that the whole night I was on edge. I couldn''t sleep. I couldn''t stop thinking about where he was, what he was doing or more specifically, who he was doing. My mood didn''t improve when I woke up the next day, and he still wasn''t home. I didn''t see him the whole day and went to sleep withoutying my eyes on him.

    Here he was now though, and I don''t even know what to act or react. Should I ask? But then that will juste off as me being insecure.

    Fuck it. I''ll just ask. The need for answers was driving me insane.

    "Where have you been? I''ve haven''t seen you since Saturday" I say, trying to sound nonchnt.

    I move around, pretending that I was looking at the weights, trying to decide which one I wanted to use.

    "Why don''t you just ask what you really want to ask without beating around the bush, Harper" his voice drawls near my ear, making me jump.

    I hadn''t even heard him move. Was he a fucking ghost?

    "Did you cheat?" I ask, pushing the nervousness down.

    I take in a sharp breath before turning around. I gasp when I realize just how close he was.

    My eyes travel from his chest to his eyes. There was something in them that I couldn''t fully grasp.

    I start stepping backwards when I realize it was a storm I was seeing behind those gray eyes.

    He starts following me. "No I didn''t cheat, Harper."

    I swallow hard. "Good, because if you had, I swear-"

    He doesn''t let me finish my sentence. "What would you have done, Harper?"

    All toote do I realize that he''d cornered me with nowhere else to go.

    "I am a man of my word, and I''m not going to breach the contract," he says before adding. "Though, you must realize how this is fucking hard for me given I haven''t had pussy for months, so I''m not against taking what you are offering."

    "I''m not offering anything!" I snap, trying to push against him, but he doesn''t budge.

    "Is that so" he whispers as he leans in. "Then what''s with the tight ass leggings and barely there sports bra?"

    I don''t answer him. I couldn''t. Not when he was looking like he was starving.

    He shocks me when he raises his

    hand from his side and ces them on me. It then travels from my hip to

    my exposed belly. The soft caresse

    sends shivers down my back. His mouth moves over the pulsing vein in my neck, and I can''t stop the shocked gasp that slips from my mouth.

    I clench my hand and close my eyes to stop my moan when his other hand slips into my sports bra and grabs my breast. The hand that was on my hips moves to grab my ass. He pushes me against him, rubbing me against his front.

    He was hard. So fucking hard. I could feel him through my thin leggings. If my eyes weren''t already closed, they would have rolled to the back of my head.

    I try to stifle the desire, but it''s been so long. So fucking long.

    "I bet you want me" his voice is sexy and hoarse.

    I shake my head vehemently in denial.

    "How I about I prove you wrong" he purrs in my ear.

    I''m confused at first, but then I realize what he is nning when the hand on my breast disappears and secondster, I feel it around the waistband of my leggings.

    He dips his hand, but before he can get inside my panties, I muster all my strength and push him away.

    He''s taken by surprise and I use that chance to escape.

    "Coward" his mocking voice calls after me, with hisughter ringing in the room.

    I don''t stop.

    Let him call me whatever the hell he wants, but I wasn''t about to let him see just how wet I was for him.

 Chapter 0422

    By the time we were leaving, I had my emotions under control.

    I didn''t want to admit it, but my attraction to Gabriel was still there. It''s been years. Almost a decade and yet, it took so little for him to get me excited.

    I hated that. Hated it because while I was married to Liam, it took a bit of coaxing to get me aroused enough for the act. Don''t get me wrong, Liam wasn''t a bad sexual partner. He didn''t suck at sex, but my arousal didn''te easily when he wanted us to get intimate.

    It didn''t take much from Gabriel. One intense look, and those rough hands on my skin, and I was dripping wet for him. Ready for him to take me. What does that say about me? That my ex-husband didn''t get this side of me, while the man that shattered me, did?

    After a quick cold shower, to wash away my arousal and shame, I got dressed and headed for breakfast. The entire time we were having out meals, I avoided Gabriel''s knowing gaze.

    "Are you ready for this?" I ask Lilly as she takes her backpack.

    Surprisingly, Gabriel had announced that he''d also be there for Lilly''s first day of school. I didn''t argue with him. There was no point in doing it.

    "Yes," she answers cheerily. "Noah told me that their school is awesome. I can''t wait to see that for myself."

    Her nervousness was definitely gone. Not that I wasining or anything. This was so much better than her being anxious.

    "That''s great, darling" I tell her before taking her hand. "Now, let''s get moving before you''rete on your first day."

    The ride down the elevator is silent. I was stiff standing next to Gabriel while Lilly stood in front of us. His presence was overwhelming, to say the least. I wanted to get as far away from him as possible, but there wasn''t anywhere to go.

    Lilly literally bounces out of the elevator when we get to the first floor. She''s the strangest child I''ve ever met. I mean who gets excited on their first day of school? Most children are terrified of being the new student.

    "Hurry up!" she demands, as she basically rushes out.

    She''s ahead of us, Gabriel''s steps are eating up the space between them quickly, so I am left running after them to catch up.

    "Oh my gosh!" Lilly stops abruptly.

    I look up to find a sleek limousine parked in Gabriel''s reserved spot.

    She turns to her father with excitement. "You''re taking me to school in a limousine?"

    "It''s your first day at a new school. You deserve to arrive in style," Gabriel grins at her.

    Arrive in style? One of his Bentley''s would have done the job, but a limousine? Yep. Definitely going to have a problem with him spoiling her. "Thank you so much," She screams beforeunching herself at Gabriel, who easily picks her up. "I''ve never driven in a limo before."

    As much as I hated him spoiling our daughter, I couldn''t take this from her. She was happy. What kind of mother would I be if I denied her this?

    "Come then, Lilly" I tell her. "If we don''t hurry up, we are going to be seriouslyte."

    We get in the car and I''m relieved

    when Lilly sit between her father and

    me. I just don''t know I could handle

    his body heat seeping through to me. Not when I still had the memories of early this morning

    ying in my head.

    We don''t really talk much. Lilly is a chatter box and fills up the silence that would have descended had it just been us.

    Within minutes, we are pulling into the Academy''spound. Seeing the building up head starts giving me anxiety. All of a sudden, I am now the one who''s nervous. Nervous for my baby girl. When the driver parks, Gabriel gets out and helps us out of the car.

    "Come," he takes Lilly''s hand and motions for me to follow them.

    It doesn''t take long for Lilly to be admitted and settled.

    "You don''t have to worry; we will give Lilly a guide. Someone who will show her around."

    I was hoping that Noah will be her guide, but apparently, they give guides ording to gender. So, Lilly''s guide will be another girl.

    "Have a great first day, darling," I whisper as I kiss her forehead.

    "I will mom."

    After saying goodbye to her father, she leaves the office and we follow suit. We were alreadyte for work, but it didn''t matter. Lilly was our priority.

    "Do you think she''ll be okay?" I ask Gabriel once we were seated in the car.

    It was like the first day of

    kindergarten all over again. I wasz nervous, jittery and anxious. I know she''s a big girl now, and she can

    take care of herself, but I just can''t help being a mom and worrying.

    Gabriel surprises me when he takes my hand in his. His thumb caresses my palm softly, eliciting a shocked gasp from me.

    "Don''t worry," he says, his intense eyes staring at me. "She''ll be okay, and if she''s not, Noah will be there with her."

    I don''t know why I don''t stop him as he continues to touch me softly.& should have. It wasn''t a good idea to have him touch me like that even if it''s innocent, but I just couldn''t bring myself to care.

    Fuck! I was a confusing messed up bitch. I don''t want him to touch me, but then I want him to. In my defense, I need thefort.

    "We need to talk about what happened this morning" he interrupts the silence by saying.

    Hell no. I wasn''t ready for that.

 Chapter 0423

    I try to pull my hand away, but it''s no use. He has it firmly in ce, refusing to let go. His grip didn''t hurt, but it was tight enough that I couldn''t pull my hand out of his. "Harper" he warns when I try to pull my hand again.

    Why was he making this hard? Couldn''t he just let the issue go?

    "There is nothing to talk about" I hiss, ring at his handsome face.

    The fact that I almost sumbed to his touch was embarrassing enough. Now he wanted to embarrass me further but hashing it out on our way to work.

    "There is where you are wrong" he snags my waist and pulls me close to him. "We have a lot to talk about."

    What the hell was he doing? Had hepletely lost his marbles? There was definitely something wrong with Gabriel, because he was acting so out of character.

    Was he trying to toy with me? Is that what this was? A game for him.

    "Let go of me Gabriel," I hiss, as those unsettling thoughts settle in my head.

    Fuck! It still fucking hurts. It hurts that he didn''t want me in the past, and now he is trying to toy with me.

    "Why?" he asks, his lips close to my ears. "Do I make you ufortable? Do I arouse you? Is that why you don''t want me touching you? Because you know my touch makes you wet."

    I scoff at his words, trying to hide the effect of his words. I don''t want him to touch me simply because I don''t. There isn''t any other reason. I refuse to ept any other reason.

    "You are wrong" I snap at him when he still refuses to release me.

    We were going to be at the office in a few minutes. I needed to get whatever it is that is happening under control.

    Gabriel was dangerous, and I wasn''t saying that because he''s among the most powerful men in the city. He was a danger to me. To my heart. I couldn''t be the na?ve girl I was to fall for him. It would only end up in disaster.

    "I''m not fucking wrong, and you know it" he breathes, "You forget I had your breast in my hand while at the gym. Your erect nipple was proof enough that I aroused you."

    Panic washes over me at his deration. How the hell did I allow things to get that far?

    Snickering, I narrow my eyes.

    "Please, that''s a normal reaction for a woman who hasn''t had sex in two years. You are a man, Gabriel, one who was rubbing his dick against me. Of course my body would react. It''s nothing special, any man would have gotten the same reaction had they done the same."

    At my words, his eyes darken, his jaw locks and his grip tightens. I get a sick kind of satisfaction when see the anger in his eyes. His ego just

    ka hit at my words, and fucking love it.

    "Is that so?" there was something dangerous in his tone as he gritted those words.

    I nod my head numbly. My mind was screaming warnings, but I chose to ignore them. What the worst that he could do?

    Damn it. I shouldn''t have said that.

    Faster than the fucking sh, Gabriel has me up, and on top of him, with my legs on each side of his hips, straddling him. My skirt rides up, revealing a bit of my ck panties.

    How do I get myself in these situations?

    I try to wiggle and get myself free,

    ?????

    but I only end up making things worse. Gabriel releases a groan when I rub against him and I try to stifle a moan at the friction.

    "That lip bite tells me all I need to know, Harper," he purrs so close to my mouth that I''m tempted to kiss his soft lips.

    My mind goes nk and all I can see are his lips. Those fucking tempting lips. I try to pull my eyes away. To focus on something else, but it''s no use.

    He leans in, about to kiss me, when a sharp knock echoes through the room.

    "We are here, Mr. Wood," the driver''s voicees through the inte.

    "Shit" Gabriel curses and I scramble to get off hisp, almost falling in the process.

    My heart was pounding, and my hands were shaking. I almost gave in again, minutes after I told him that he didn''t affect me. What the hell was wrong with me?

    I avoid his eyes, as I fix my clothes. When I''m done, I take my bag ready to get away from him and the same damn situation I keep finding myself in.

 Chapter 0424

    I was just getting out of the car when, out of nowhere, he grabs my hand, pulling it harshly. I''m startled by the action and I lift my head in confusion only to find his eyes zing.

    "Where the fuck is your ring?" he spits, his eyes ring at me.

    Shit! What the hell?

    I slowly look from him, to my empty ring finger. Have you ever been confused about a situation? Like you know what you''re being asked, know the answer, but you''re still confused? Well, that''s me right now. "Harper, where is your ring?" he grits out while getting out of the car.

    I watch his body unfold from the car, and then he is towering over me. His overwhelming presence renders me mute.

    A little shake from him brings me back to the present.

    "I don''t understand what''s happening right now," I mutter, still not sure why the hell he was livid over something so insignificant.

    His face grows darker if that''s even possible. It''s like my answer just snapped something inside him.

    "What''s happening is that you''re not wearing the ring I gave you and I want to know why," he growls, his face tight.

    Dumbly I reply, "I didn''t see the need to."

    In my defense, my brain cells were already short-circuited from what happened in the gym and the car just a few minutes ago.

    "You don''t see the need?"

    I nod numbly, still staring, as his face grew even tighter.

    Sensing the danger, I try to step back, but it''s of no use. His hands shoot out to stop me from my retreat.

    "I gave you the ring because I expected you to fucking wear it. Now where is it?" he pushes out in a taut voice.

    "In my bag"

    At my answer, he grabs my bag. I watch silently and in shock as he rummages through it, before pulling his hand out. When he does, the ring he gave me is in his hand.

    Taking my hand, he pushes the ring onto my finger before ring at me.

    "Don''t fucking take it off," his warning is clear, so instead of antagonizing him anymore, I just nod my head.

    He then hands me my handbag, walks past me and leaves me in the underground parking lot alone. Sighing in tiredness and frustration, I follow him.

    ***

    Gosh, this day sucked. Like really sucked.

    I haven''t been able to pay attention to anything since I started working. If my head wasn''t obsessing over my odd situation with Gabriel, then it was wondering how Lilly was doing at school.

    I was tired and irritable and I could barely focus on my work. I kept checking the time because I couldn''t wait for five o''clock so that I could go home and just rest.

    I''d thought of just asking Gabriel for permission, but I though against it. I needed to learn as much as possible. I couldn''t ask for sick leave just because it was a shitty day.

    At lunchtime, Gabriel had asked me to join him for lunch when I''d gone to hand him some documents. Let''s just say that I''m a coward. I didn''t want to face him, so I told him that I was busy and didn''t have time to eat lunch with him.

    He didn''t say a word, but with the way his jaw clenched, I knew he didn''t like my answer. I didn''t wait around, instead I fled to my office. It''s rming the number of times I''ve fled away from Gabriel. "Look at what we have here."

    Which brings me to now. It''s about four thirty in the afternoon and looking at Milly, I know that my day is about to get even worse.

    Sighing, I face her, "What do you want, Milly?"

    This bitch has been cornering me every chance she can get. I let the snide remarks go, but I don''t know~~~ how for how long I can keep doing

    that. At first, I thought it was cute I how she tried to intimidate me, but slowly by slowly, I''m starting to lose patience.

    She had her entourage behind her. Two women who were as mean as she was.

    Her eyes skim over me in disgust, beforending on my hand. Her eyes widen and I''m confused until I realize she''s looking at my ring.

    "Oh my god, you''re married!" she practically screams the words.

    We were in themon area and there were a few of us there. They all turn and look at me at her words.

    "You are a married woman and yet you have no shame sleeping with Gabriel just to advance in life. How disgusting can you be?" she shrills as if she''s actually offended.

    I stare at her in shock. Unable to believe she would say such things about me. That she would announce it in front of everyone just to shame and degrade me.

    "Stop it. You know nothing." I snap when I finally get over my shock at her audacity.

    Sneering, she steps into my personal

    space. "Why should I? It''s clear that you''re sleeping with the boss and the ring on your finger suggests you''re married. So, not only are you a gold-digging slut, you are also a cheater."

    I look around, noting as those around me started whispering among themselves. I feel even mortified when more employees start entering the room.

    Milly, who never misses a chance, sees this as an opportunity to embarrass me further.

    "Does your husband know that you''re having an affair with your boss? Does Gabriel know you have a husband or do you take off and hide your ring when he''s fucking you?"

    I could feel myself shaking. Remember when I said that I was starting to lose patience with her? Well, I am about to blow.

    I was just about to respond when Carol, another of Milly''s followers rushes in, going straight to Milly.

    "Milly stop it" she hisses in warning. "Thepany''s social media page has just announced-"

    Milly pushes her away before Carol can finish her sentence, making her stumble in the process.

    Turning to face the room, Milly addresses them. "I hate it when a woman uses her body to advance at work. Spreading her legs just to get ahead of others. Don''t you just hate it? It''s sad that Harper here doesn''t know how to get by except by being a slut for her boss."

    They were whispering and nodding among themselves. Fuck this was so embarrassing. My jaw was clenched and my hands were itching to p her. I was about to do just that when Gabriel''s voice booms throughout the room.

    "What the fuck did you just say about my wife?" he snarled walking across the room, his domineering presence suffocated the air.

    Gabriel crosses the room and then stands beside me, ring at Milly.

    "Wife?" she stutters.

    When it dawns on her what Gabriel just said, the confidence she had minutes ago shatters into tinny million pieces.

    I smirk when she swallows and fear fills her eyes.

 Chapter 425

    I Chapter 0425 [I ¡°Wife?¡± Milly repeats the words as if she I just can¡¯tprehend them.

    I ¡°Did I stutter?¡± Gabriel asks with an edge {to his tone.

    I The whole room was now silent. { I Everyone who had been murmuring and \ pointing at me was now staring at the ground.

    I really didn¡¯t need Gabriel fighting my battles for me. I¡¯ve grown a long way from the insecure and timid girl that would allow people to walk all over her.

    That being said, it doesn¡¯t mean that I don¡¯t like how he came to my defense.

    Milly was trembling. Like full body shakes. Her body was still and fear was etched on her face. For the first time since I came to work here, she didn¡¯t look like the arrogant woman I was used to.

    ERE a A With the way she carried herself, you ) would think that she owned the damnpany. She bosses others around, she¡¯s rude and malicious, always treating others (especially women) like they were I beneath her or something.

    I rarely go down to the other floors, but if I''m needed to, Milly is always there spouting nonsense and treating me like shit.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry Gabriel, I didn¡¯t know she was your wife,¡± She whispers, her tone begging.

    The dangerous air around Gabriel intensifies to an almost choking level. Did the stupid woman have a death wish? ¡°Who the fuck are you to call me by given name?¡± Gabriel asks harshly.

    He didn¡¯t need to shout or yell, but the intensity of his words was enough to produce the same oue.

    "Milly flinched at his harsh tone and at the ) realization she just called her boss by his name.

    u '' ¡°I-I''m sorry Mr. W-Wood,¡± she I stammers, the words barely leaving her lips.

    \ Ignoring her, Gabriel takes my hand and moves us to the middle of the room. My hands clench his as I start to get nervous.

    Everyone''s eyes were on us and I didn¡¯t like the attention.

    ¡°Let me make an official introduction,¡± Gabriel¡¯s voice resonates through the room. ¡°This is my wife, Harper Wood.¡± He waits a few seconds for his words to sink in before continuing.

    ¡°I¡¯ve been made aware of the rumors surrounding her. She''s is not my mistress as some of you have been saying. She¡¯s my wife and I expect her to be treated in the same manner you would treat my family. Anything said against her is a

    fh direct insult to me, going against her is ) akin to going against me. No one and I I mean no one is allowed to bully heror I swear you''ll have me to deal with. Twill fuck your life so badly; you''ll still be trying to piece it back together fifty yearster. Am I fucking clear?¡± @? I stand there with my hands in his,pletely shocked. I don¡¯t know what I expected but this isn¡¯t it. I didn¡¯t expect him to threaten his own employees for my sake.

    There is a collective murmur of agreement, before silence descends in the room again.

    ¡°I know that not everyone is here, but spread the fucking word,¡± Gabriel continues, before turning his chilling stare to Milly. ¡°As for you, who do you think you are to try and embarrass my wife?¡± Milly folds more to herself if that¡¯s even possible. She looks so small and fragile

    I right now, it¡¯s almostughable.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t mean it, Mr. Wood,¡± she I whispers in a brittle voice. ¡°I didn*tknow she¡¯s your wife.¡± \ I ¡°And that gives you the right to tell her I those unspeakable things when really the woman you were describing is you?¡± Gabriel res at her. ¡°Should I tell everyone how you¡¯ve been trying to get into my bed for years even though I didn¡¯t fucking want you? Should I tell them how you offered to be my booty call?¡± There is a gasp of shock all through the room, and Milly loos like she¡¯s been pped. Horror fills her face as everyone starts murmuring.

    I look up to stare at Gabriel. He''s eyes are razor focused on Milly. I know what¡¯s he¡¯s doing, he is embarrassing her the way she embarrassed me, only difference is, I know he¡¯s telling the truth.

    ph Milly is silent as tears run down her face.

    ) She''s embarrassed. You can clearly see it in her eyes and in the way she shrinks I into herself. ) ¡°Christopher?¡± Gabriel call, and Chris I rushes to where we were standing. ¡°Have her investigated.¡± He then turns back to her. ¡°I never bothered or cared, but you crossed the fucking line when you decided to fuck with my wife. You''re suspended until further notice. If the investigations reveal you¡¯ve stepped out of line, you are out of thispany. And to the rest of you, let this be an example. No one messes with Harper and gets away with it.¡±

 Chapter 426

    ! ! Chapter 0426 f With that, he links our hands, turns {around and pulls me out of the room. The Ist thing I see before we leave is Milly¡¯s I fear. Her fear tells me all I need to know.

    I Yeah, that investigation report isn¡¯t going to be singing praises of her.

    We get into the elevator in silence and ride up. When it opens, Gabriel leads me to his office.

    ¡°Are you okay?¡± he asks me when we are inside. ¡°I gave our media team the go ahead to announce our marriage. I just went down to let you know since you weren''t in your office when I came across that disgusting scene.¡± I pull my hand from his and then stare at him. ¡°I¡¯m okay. It¡¯s nothing to worry about.¡± ¡°Are you sure?¡±

    (l - drag ¡°Positive¡± ) We remain in silence for a while. I can see I I he wants to say something more, but '' something is holding him back. His intense eyes causes me to shift i ufortably.

    ¡°If there is nothing else, I''d like to leave for home. I''ve been anxious all day because of Lilly¡± I mumble, unable to meet his eyes.

    ¡°Sure, I''ll be home once I''m done here." I nod my head before turning to leave. It¡¯s not that I didn¡¯t appreciate what he did for me, it¡¯s just his actions have made me more confused.

    When we were married before, Gabriel never wanted to be associated with me.

    He didn¡¯t want anyone knowing he had married me, so he hid me and our marriage. Now he has just announced it and threatened anyone who dared to hurt me. I was at a loss for words on how to

    I deal with it.

    ) Going to my office, I arrange my desk, { f pack my things, then leave. Christopher was nowhere to be seen, so I just leave.

    I Getting to the underground lot, I find our I driver waiting for me. After greeting him, I get in and minutester, he peels off. I lean back against the leather chair and close my eyes while contemting things. By the time we get to the apartment building, I''m still as confused as I was when this whole thing started.

    Pushing those thoughts to the back of my mind, I focus on my daughter.

    ¡°Lilly?¡± I call the minute I get home.

    She rushes out of her bedroom secondster before throwing herself at me.

    ¡°Mom!¡± her happiness eases something inside me.

    ¡°How was school?¡± I hug her before hanging up my coat, removing my shoes

    I and dropping my handbag on the couch.

    i ¡°It was awesome. So awesome. I loved I it,¡± she gushes in happiness. - I heave a sigh of relief. I shouldn¡¯t have I been worried after all. She seems more than okay.

    ¡°My guide was a girl named Sierra and she¡¯s the best. I like her so much, and I think we are going to be good friends.

    She¡¯s so cool and smart,¡± she tells me in a singsong voice. ¡°Noah also introduced me to his best friend called Gunner and some of his other friends, who were also nice, but I liked Sierra more.¡± Lilly can be a bit of a loner at times. So to know that she made friends on her first day eases my heart.

    ¡°Really?¡± I take her hand and pull her towards the sofa where I sit us down.

    ¡°Yes.¡± She answers. ¡°Though, I think she has the biggest crush on Noah. Noah on

    "the other hand seems to hate her. I don¡¯t ) know why when she¡¯s so nice.¡± I Give me the tea, why don¡¯t you? She looks totally confused, I am too, but I who knows the minds of kids, right? I From there she proceeds to tell me everything that happened at school. I swear to you, she didn¡¯t leave a detail out.

    She talks throughout dinner and even after.

    Probably due to the day¡¯s excitement, she falls asleep before Gabriel get home. He''s going to be disappointed, but she could barely keep her eyes open.

    I wanted to go to bed too, but I decided against it. Now that I''m calmer, I know that I need to thank Gabriel for what he did for me.

    So with decision in mind, I stay waiting for him, while going through the media frenzy the announcement of our

    \ marriage had caused.

    \

 Chapter 427

    } Chapter 0427 I Gabe.

    I stare nkly at the papers in front of I me. Iwas still pissed. So fucking pissed. 1 {mean who the fuck did Milly think she I was, talking shit to Harper? Unable to focus, I push myself up and start pacing. My mind was running a thousand miles a second. I was thinking, trying toe up with ideas and each of them were on different ways I could make her life a living hell.

    Why are you so angry? It¡¯s not like you treated Harper any better when you were married years ago.

    My inner voice taunts me, but I don¡¯t want to listen because it was fucking right. I never considered her feelings before, and kept hurting her over and over again, so what''s changed?

    I saw the shock and surprise in Harper''s eyes when I pulled her to the middle of the room and threatened anyone who dared to hurt her.

    When we were in my office, she looked at me like she didn¡¯t know me. Like she didn¡¯t understand me and why I chose to stand by her. It was clear as day that she had no idea what to think of me or my actions.

    Running my hands down my face, I sigh in frustration. Could I honestly me her for her reaction when I treated her like shit in the past? When I heard the insults Milly was throwing at Harper, something inside me just snapped. This overwhelming need to protect her and destroy anyone who dares to hurt her took over, and I found myself yelling at Milly.

    It all felt so fucking strange, but right at the same time. I don¡¯t even know how to fucking exin it without sounding like a

    ¡°Boss?¡± 1 look up, only to realize that Christopher was in my office. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn¡¯t hear himing in.

    ¡°7m about to leave. Is there anything you need before I go?¡± he asks.

    ¡°No¡± I shake my head.

    ¡°Okay then, have a wonderful evening¡± he bids and, once I nod my head, leaves.

    I''m left alone in my office with my head in turmoil. My mind thought of nothing else except for Harper and Lilly.

    I return to my desk when my phone starts ringing. Sitting down, I pick it up and answer, not really bothering to check the caller ID.

    ¡°Seriously Gabe,¡± his voice growls out from the phone¡¯s speakers. ¡°Why the

    "fuck am I finding out through the \ tabloids that one of my best friends got married, instead of his fucking mouth?¡± 1 would recognize Travis''s voice anywhere. After all, we''ve known each I other since we were in diapers.

    ¡°Hello to you too,¡± I say, leaning against my chair.

    ?Js that all you have to say?¡± Sighing, I take a deep breath. I really didn¡¯t have the energy to deal with his shit.

    ¡°What do you want me to say? I got married, end of story,¡± I reply in irritation.

    ¡°you''re an asshole, you know that?¡± ¡°1 never imed otherwise, Travis.¡± [ was tired and fucking irritable. I haven''t been able to sleep, and the effects were catching up with me.

    I ¡°Seriously, Gabe, tell me everything. How ) did you meet her? What is she like? Do I I know her-" ( I 1 cut him off before he could continue.

    ¡°So, you''re into gossip now? Don¡¯t you I have anything important to do? Besides, I all the information you need to know is in the tabloids.¡± } was behaving like a jackass, but I didn¡¯t fucking care. I wanted this conversation over and done with.

    ¡°At least tell me how she managed to bag the city¡¯s number one yboy,¡± he pushes, not giving up.

    ¡°Goodbye Travis.¡± ¡°Wait- ? I end the phone call before he can manage to ask more stupid ass questions. It rings secondster, but I press the red button ending the call.

    It¡¯s as I was doing this, that I noticed the

    I numerous missed calls and messages \ from my family, board of director¡¯s, business partners, and friends. They I must have called when I''d gone looking for Harper.

    I

 Chapter 428

    Chapter 0428 1 Deciding to ignore them, I stand up-once I" again, get my coat and leave my office. I knew I wasn¡¯t going to get any work done, so why the hell should I even try? I text my driver asking him to get the car ready before jumping into the elevator. I Minutester, I''m in the underground parking lot. I ¡°Mr. Wood,¡± he bows slightly while opening the car door for me.

    I give him a nod as I enter. He gets in and we start moving.

    To kill time, I decide to check out the tabloids.

    GABRIEL WOOD FINALLY SETTLES DOWN, ACCORDING TO THE STATEMENTS RELEASED ON ALL THE WOOD CORPORATION SOCIAL MEDIA FORUMS.

    Wr "19 BONUS y THE CITY''S MOST ELIGIBLE BACHEL( IR, GABRIEL WOOD, IS NO LONGER SINGLE HEARTTHROB, GABRIEL W( JOD, FINALLY TIES THE KNOT.

    I GABRIEL WOOD IS NO LONGER ON THE I MARKET WHO IS THE LUCKY LADY THAT GOT GABRIEL WOOD TO PUT A RING ON IT? I On and on they went. Some of the I theories they had were stupid, while some had some truth in them.

    When we get to apartment building, I shut off my phone before getting out.

    After biding my driver goodnight, I head straight for my home.

    I''m surprised when I find Harper in the living room waiting for me.

    ¡°You''re finally home,¡± she says distractedly. ¡°Have you seen the gossip columns? Some of the things they''re saying are utterly ridiculous.¡±

    chuckle, ¡°Yeah, but it doesn¡¯t matter. Is Lilly asleep? How was her first day?¡± After removing my shoes, I walk barefoot to the kitchen to get a ss of water.

    I ¡°Yes, she¡¯s already asleep. She could I barely keep her eyes open. And you were right when you told me not to worry, she had a great day¡± she says, following me to the kitchen.

    ¡°That¡¯s good¡± ¡°Definitely¡± she mumbles. ¡°Can you believe this? Apparently, I had to bribe you to marry me. Here''s another one, I threatened and forced you to marry me because why else would you settle down?¡± I smirk at her righteous anger. If they only knew that it was the other way around. That I am the one who threatened her into marrying me.

    Seeing her focus on the tablet, I pull it

    I J +15 BON i away from her hand, making her look up ¡°Is there a reason why you''re still up? 4 You''re usually asleep the minute Lilly goes down.¡± Remember the edge I was feeling in the I office? Well, it¡¯s fucking gone. Being near her right now just eased something inside me.

    She fumbles with her hands, as if she¡¯s nervous. ¡°I wanted to say thank you for what you did today. You could have just ignored it and let everything y out, but you didn¡¯t.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to thank me, Harper.

    You''re my fucking wife and I took vows to protect you.¡± She narrows her eyes at me and I know what she¡¯s thinking. I could punch myself right now.

    I move forward, stepping into her space, ¡°I know I was a shitty husband before,

    i but I was an immature and stupid boy.

    Things are different this time, I''m different, and I n to do things ( differently.¡± There were questions swimming in her eyes, but all I could see at the moment I were her red lips.

    Almost in a trance that I¡¯m sure she cast, I Iean forward and kiss her. Just like I imagined, her lips are soft.

    Her taste fills me, and fuck! I could get addicted to it.

    I coax and tease her until she finally opens up, and I deepen the kiss. The jolt that goes through me at the contact of our tongues meshing almost brings me to her. Kissing a woman has never felt this good.

    All too soon, she pulls away. She stares at me speechless and confused before turning around without another word.

    -¡ª , Iwatch her leave, before she disappears. I stay frozen on my spot as the kiss reys in my head over and over again, and the taste of lips lingers. She tasted like I heaven.

    I thought this marriage would be easy, I but Iam starting to realize that I''m definitely fucked.

 Chapter 429

    '' Chapter 0429 f Harper.

    The next morning, Gabriel was nowhere I tobeseen as took my breakfast and got I ready to leave for work. It was as we were getting in the car and I asked the driver where Gabriel was, did I learn that he had already left for work.

    This is the first time we''ve gone to work separately since I started working for him. I didn¡¯t know whether I was relieved or not.

    Since he wasn¡¯t around, I decided to drop Lilly off at school first. Her excitement had yet to die. The whole ride to school she kept talking about Sierra. I know my daughter, and I know she¡¯s never been this excited or happy when ites to another girl.

    Sure, she had friends back home where we lived, but none of them were that

    \ talked about. I would say that those girls I were more of acquaintances than friends I tomy baby girl.

    f She never had them over for sleep-overs, and if any of them invited her, she woulde up with reasons why she couldn¡¯t I attend. She never talked that much about I them; not like she was talking about this I Sierra who she¡¯s only known for justa day. I Anyway, whatever makes her happy, makes me happy. If Sierra is capable of bringing out this girlish, squealing and giggling persona of Lilly, then who am I to stand in the way? For once, I''am happy to see my baby girl being a child. She has always been too mature for her age. Always carrying herself like she was thirty instead of a little girl. To be honest, seeing this, makes me d that I agreed with Gabriel to pay for the expensive school.

    After I dropped off Lilly, I went to work

    wy "VY eVnWe feeling at ease. The car had barely parked, when she was out of it and running off I after telling me a hurried and quick I goodbye. It made meugh, just how ( excited she was.

    / ¡°Mrs. Wood, we are here,¡± the driver''s ) voice pulls me from my musings.

    God! Iwill never get used to that name.

    When I was married to Gabriel, no one ever called me that. Well, because no one knew we were married. Now all of our staff at home are calling by his name, and it¡¯s taking time to get used.

    Looking around, I realize that we were in the underground parking lot. After thanking him, I get out and head to the elevators.

    I''was nervous about seeing Gabriel. As much as I tried, I couldn¡¯t forget the brief kiss yesterday. No matter how short it had been, it was still able to shake me to my core.

    , Liam and I kissed most of the time, but it '' was a kiss of familiarity and friendship. Itcked passion and fire. Kissing Gabriel was akin to kissing a live wire. The I electric currents that went through my I body almost numbed me. Even now, I can / still taste him. I can still feel his soft yet firm lips.

    I shake my head, trying to push those thoughts away and banish the images. I was here to work, not think about my husband¡¯s lips. I get on the elevator and the press the floor number.

    ¡°Morning, Christopher,¡± I say after getting out of the elevator and walking to his desk.

    ¡°Good morning, sugar... How was your night?¡± he stops what he was doing and asks.

    This is one of the many things I love about Christopher. He doesn¡¯t treat me any differently just because I am the boss''s wife.

    I Itake a moment to think about it before } answering. ¡°Sleepless.¡± i He waggles his eyebrows and gives me a I teasing smirk. ¡°Is that s0?¡± I It takes a minute for me to understand what he thinks I meant. I wanted to correct him, but how can I without I ruining our image? Gabriel and I are married, so, of course, others expect us to be having sex. I can¡¯t tell him we are not, given that he doesn¡¯t know the terms of our marriage.

    Instead, I clear my throat. ¡°Anyway, is there anything you want me to do before we settle in for the day?¡±

 Chapter 430

    Chapter 0430 ¡°yes, please¡± he answers, ¡°Could you please collect the weekly reports from the I departments. Due to yesterday''s event, I wasn¡¯t able to get them.¡± I ¡°Sure, no problem. Let me just put my bag in my office, then I''ll get them.¡± I leave after he nods. Rushing to my office, I quickly put my things away before leaving for the other departments.

    When I get to the first department, the atmosphere is tense as I step into the space. Everyone, and I mean, everyone, turns to stare at me. I hate the attention and I wish they could just mind their fucking business. Ignoring them, I do what I came to do before leaving.

    I never got to make friends, because Milly spread the rumor that Iwas a hoe who was sleeping with Gabriel, That was enough for others to judge me and keep

    away.

    I breathe a sigh of relief when I get to thest department. There are some who give me weing smiles, but I don¡¯t pay I them attention. Now that the news was I out, of course they¡¯d try to y nice. Iam I well aware that there are people who will befriend you simply because of what they hope you can do for them.

    ¡°Hi, Harper,¡± one of Milly¡¯s minion, Reba says, blocking my way as I was heading to the lift.

    I sigh ¡°What do you want Reba?¡± ?I was hoping we could be friends,¡± the red-head tells me innocently.

    Was this bitch delusional? I didn¡¯t mean to, but theugh slips from my lips before I can stop it. ¡°You''re joking right?¡± ¡°Why would I? I mean I tried to stop Milly from humiliating you yesterday. She

    I wouldn''t listen to me though. That should count, right?¡± I think back and remember that she-did try to tell Milly something about thepany releasing a statement.

    I ¡°If that was your way of trying to get into / my good graces, let me just tell you that you failed. We both know you didn¡¯t do it out of the goodness of your heart, so stop with the stupid charade.¡± Her face changes and the sweet look she had slips. There she is, the bitch I was used to.

    ¡°you''re being really mean right now, when all I want is to be your friend.¡± she says through clenched teeth.

    I could feel others eyes at my back, but I didn¡¯t give a damn. This bitch right here was starting to piss me off.

    ¡°Mean? Mean is you and your friends spreading degrading rumors about me.

    [Mean is calling me a slut when we both know who the real sluts are. Mean is the way you''ve treated me since I started working in thispany.¡± I take a deep breath before continuing.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want your friendship nor do I need it. I''m not stupid, Reba, we both know the reason why you want to be my friend is because I''m Gabriel¡¯s wife and even if I wasn¡¯t, I wouldn¡¯t want to associate with the likes of you. Now, get the fuck out of my way, I have things to do.¡± I finish ¡°you''re being a bitch.¡± she says ring at me.

    ¡°Says the bigger bitch,¡± I reply, just as the elevator door opens.

    ¡°Is there a problem here?¡± a deep voice fills the room.

    I look behind Reba surprised to find Rowan standing next to the elevator doors.

    I Reba turns around so quickly she almost falls in the process. ¡°No problem, Mr. Wood.¡± ¡°Didn¡¯t seem like it to me,¡± Rowan says in a really deadly tone. He then turns to me and signals for me toe to him.

    I / Ido as he says and go to stand next to him.

    Reba pales, as blood drains from her face.

    ¡°I don¡¯t appreciate people calling my sister-inw names,¡± his eyebrows are pulled together in a re. ¡°Especially if it I happens in our very ownpany. It pisses me off. You¡¯ll do well to remember that Harper is a Wood. You''ll fucking stay away from her if she wants you too, and if she ever gives amand, and you don¡¯t obey her, you''ll regret it. Dol make myself clear?¡±

 Chapter 431

    Chapter 0431 His tone ensured that there was no-room for argument. You either agreed or I agreed.

    ¡°Yes, Mr. Wood,¡± she stammers, fear etched in her face at the tant threat.

    ¡°Now, go back to work. We don¡¯t pay you toe to work to make friends in the hopes of getting favors.¡± Her cheeks turn pink in embarrassment before she quickly turns around and scurries away. The rest, just pretend like they didn¡¯t see yet anothershing.

    with that, he gently ushers me to the elevator. Once it closes, I turn to him.

    ¡°you and your brother can be terrifying when you want to,¡± I tell him in honesty.

    I''ve heard of them. Heard of the Wood duo. Even my parents were scared of them back then, and they were not even

    I Ey * Vw SSeSe¡ª twenty-three. They could easily intimidate anyone. Those who cross them, let¡¯s just say they never recovered I mean Ava and I are a perfect example of just how they can destroy you.

    He shrugs as if it was nothing. ¡°Ites with the territory. It¡¯s either eat or be eaten.¡± ¡°How did you find out about Reba, because I¡¯m sure you showing up wasn¡¯t just a coincidence.¡± I askpletely puzzled.

    I don¡¯t know why. For some reason it was just easy to talk to Rowan. Maybe because I¡¯ve seen a different side of him. A warmer and down-to-earth Rowan. He ispletely different from the cold, bitter and angry guy I left when I chose to flee this country years ago.

    ¡°Because of the news, Gabe was afraid that there were some who would try to cause you trouble. He monitored you through the cameras when Chi istopher

    asked you to get the reports, Since he''s in a meeting, he couldn¡¯te to you when that woman cornered you, so he sent me.¡± I try to stop them, but I can¡¯t. Yeah, I can¡¯t stop those stupid warm fuzzy feelings that are currently filling up my body.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t need the help, but thanks nheless¡± I mutter, trying to get myself under control.

    ¡°Any time, Harper,¡± he responds with a smile.

    We get to the top floor and get out of the elevator. After Rowan says goodbye, I hand over the reports to Christopher, before heading to my little office.

    I get busy with work, losing track of time.

    It wasn¡¯t until there is a firm knock on my door, that I realize I''ve sitting on my chair for hours.

    [The door opens to reveal Gabe who had boxes of what I assume is food, if I were to go by the smell.

    ¡°I brought lunch,¡± he drawls.

    ¡°Christopher said you''ve been cooped up in here for hours.¡± "check my phone, only to realize that it was indeed lunch time. Gabriel crosses the room before taking a seat. He motions for me to join him and weirdly enough I do. I get up from behind my desk and take the chair opposite him.

    He removes the foods from the bags, before handing some to me. I don¡¯t know what the heck I''m doing. I should be putting a stop to this. To whatever was happening, but I don¡¯t. Instead, I take the food and breathe in the aroma before dig in.

    We eat in silence, and I''m so fucking grateful when he doesn¡¯t bring up what happened yesterday.

    I ¡°I want to take you out for dinner on Saturday¡± he informs me once we are done eating.

    ¡°Gabriel¡± I go to say, but he cuts me off.

    I ¡°It¡¯s no fucking secret that I want you, Harper¡± he states in a husky voice. ¡°So, I¡¯m going to do anything in my power to have you. I''m telling you this just so you are prepared, because this time, I''ll be the one chasing after you.¡± Fuck. What the hell do you say to something like that? Himing after me isn¡¯t the problem, the problem is, am I ready for him? I''m I ready for what this means?

 Chapter 432

    Chapter 0432 Chapter 45 ¡°It¡¯s been decided, Sierra and I are now best friends,¡± Lilly says as she walks into the kitchen where I was having my coffee while our cook prepared breakfast.

    It is Saturday, so I didn¡¯t have work and she didn¡¯t have school. Today we could just chill,zy around and just rx. After the hectic days I had at work, I needed a break.

    ¡°you like her that much, huh?¡± I sip my coffee, trying to hide my smile.

    ¡°Definitely,¡± she gets up on the bar stool before taking a banana. ¡°We have alot inmon. She loves exploring and reading, just like me.¡± When she first told me about Sierra, never thought that it would lead to them being best friends. I should have seen it

    Iing given that Lilly would talk about her every day at dinner.

    I My lovely girl has never had a bestfriend.

    Like I said, she shied away from forming close friendships with the other children at her former school.

    I never really understood whether it was because she cared more about studying than ying, or she just didn¡¯t connect with them, or it was because she thought she was mature, and they were too childish for her taste. Either way, she just never clicked with them like she had with Sierra.

    ¡°I''m d to hear that, my sunshine¡± I reach out, pull her to me, and kiss her temple before releasing her. ¡°I''m happy to hear that you''ve finally found a girl you are genuinely happy to be around.¡± Honestly, I haven''t met Sierra, but I could kiss her right now for bringing Lilly out of her cocoon.

    I ¡°I¡¯m happy too,¡± she says with a smile ¡°Did you know that Sierra is only a year older than me? But because she¡¯s really smart, she skipped one grade. That''s why she¡¯s in the same grade as Noah even though Noah is older than her.¡± I Well, that is something I didn¡¯t know. But then again, how could I have known? Before I can say anything, she continues.

    ¡°1 also want to skip a grade or two. I am as smart as she is, and besides, most of my friends aren¡¯t even in my ss.¡± If I am being honest, I wasn''t really sure about her skipping sses. Sure, I did notice that, apart from Sierra, her other close friends are Noah and his best friend Gunner. There are also a few others, but most of them are in Noah''s ss, so I do get why she would want to be in the same grade.

    ?we''ll talk about it if your teacher ever brings it up, okay?¡± I finally tell her

    I I''m not saying that I don¡¯t believe she¡¯s bright enough to be allowed to skip grades, all I''m saying is that schools can be tricky to navigate at times and they don¡¯t always offer that kind of chance to I 2 kid.

    I She nods her head, her smile never slipping from her face, ¡°By the way, can we have Sierra over for a sleep-over one day?¡± Yeah, my girl is definitely bewitched.

    Remember I mentioned she¡¯s never invited anyone over for a sleepover and has never attended one even though she got numerous invites. What the hell was this? Not that I amining or anything.

    ?you¡¯ll have to ask your dad, Lilly¡± I smile and I literally almost burst at the seems with excitement seeing my babying out of her shell.

    ¡°Ask me what?¡±

    Gabriel''s deep, husky and sleepy voice sounds from behind us. Both Lilly and I turn to stare at him. He had on pajama pants, and a ck fitting t-shirt. His hair was messy in a sexy way and he was barefoot. Call me crazy, but there is just something sexy about that.

    ¡°I was wondering if I could invite my friend Sierra over for a sleep over one day,¡± Lilly fills him in, as Gabriel walks to her and kisses her temple.

 Chapter 433

    ?Chapter 0433

    "Isn''t that the girl Noah hates?" Gabriel asks with a raised eyebrow,

    I''m surprised by his question, so I ask one of my own "You know about her?"

    "Yes, I remember Noah had once invited everyone except her to his birthday party. Ava didn''t like that at all, and it had caused a huge fight between them. Noah eventually caved, because this is Ava we are talking about and he loves his mom. Sierra came to the party, but Noah ignored her the whole time. She spent most of that party exploring or glued to Ava''s side."

    Lilly like the girl she is, she just rolls her eyes before chiming in. "Noah only hates her because Sierra likes him. I don''t get it, but she is kind of cool and I like her.

    Yesterday we became official best friends."

    Gabriel gives her a warm smile. "You can have her over for a sleep-over anytime, Lilly. Anything for you."

    This time I''m the one who rolls my eyes. Gabriel was going to spoil Lilly. Thankfully, I''ll be there to make sure she doesn''t turn into a spoilt brat.

    We don''t speak a lot after that. Breakfast was served and we all dug in. Lilly finishes before the rest of us and leaves to go to her room.

    I finish my breakfast and bring my utensils to the sink. I was just about to leave when Gabriel grabs my hand and leaved.

    "About our date tonight" he starts, as I try to ignore the currents that were zapping inside me from his touch.

    I gently pull my hands from his and fold them under my ribs. "It''s pretty

    presumptions of you to think that I am going on that date when I didn''t even agree to it."

    "I''m not being presumptuous, I''m just confident," he says with a shrug and a panty melting smile.

    More like cocky if you ask me.

    "Besides," he continues. "It''s just a date, what do you have to lose?"

    He was right. What did I have to lose? Besides, who would pass up the chance of a child free night, good food and good wine?

    "Fine," I agree, but it''s only because of the good food. "Is that all?"

    He shakes his head, before handing me a ck credit card. "I meant to give you this, but it kept slipping my mind. Lilly got a new wardrobe and, as my wife, you need one too. Go shopping and buy yourself some things. You can even get a sexy dress to show off your curves for our date."

    He says thest part with a wink, making me roll my eyes. I look at the card, debating whether I should take it. I know how our world works. I''ve been there before, and I know fashion is everything.

    I was no longer the simple Harper I used to be. Sure, I am not into thetes fashion and dressing up to be noticed, but I also admit that my clothes are old and wom out. I don''t remember thest time I went shopping and bought something for myself. My focus was always Lilly and keeping a roof over our heads, especially after Liam passed.

    I mumble a thanks as I take it, grateful that he doesn''t stop me again when I leave. Getting to my room, I shower and then get ready. When I''m done, I get out and find Gabriel in the living room, sitting on the couch with a tablet. Lilly, who was present was on the carpet with her books spread out.

    "I''m off," I announce, making them tum towards me. "Will you go to the office?"

    Gabriel told me that he would sometimes need to go to the office on Saturdays, so I was just confirming. I needed to know who will be watching Lilly.

    He shakes his head. "Nope. Lilly and I get to spend the whole day together. Isn''t that right princess?"

 Chapter 434

    ?Chapter 0434

    "Yes, dad," Lilly answers with a sweet smile, before her focus goes back to her books.

    "Alright then, I''ll see you in a couple of hours."

    "Pamper yourself, Harper. You can even go to the spa if you want to," Gabriel calls behind me.

    I just wave him off, before stepping into the elevator. Minutester, I''m on my way to the mall.

    We get to the mall and I get out of the car after thanking the driver. I start at the first floor, making my way up the floors. I decide against a spa day. I just wanted to shop today and then go back home.

    Four hourster, my hands were full of shopping bags and I had yet to find

    something good for the date tonight. Deciding to take a break before I continued, I spot a small cozy caf¨¦. It looked like the perfect ce to enjoy a good milkshake in this hot weather.

    Damn, I just wanted to put these shopping bags down. Our driver told me that he wouldn''t leave till I''m done. Maybe I can call him and ask him toe pick them up. I couldn''t continue shopping whilegging them around.

    I enter the caf¨¦, my mind focused on finding a table. I could hear a group of women as I walked to the front to make my order, but I didn''t pay attention. Well, that is until someone called my name.

    "Harper?"

    I turn around to find Ava and two other women seated on a table behind me.

    "Hi, sorry I didn''t see you there," I began sheepishly, hoping they didn''t think I was a snob. "My focus was getting off my feet and getting a cold drink."

    "No problem,e join us," she says sweetly.

    I look between the three women, not really sure if I''d be intruding. I knew Ava, but I didn''t know the rest. Thest thing I wanted was for them to think I was intruding on them.

    "Wouldn''t I be intruding?" I ask, staring at them.

    "No, not all" She replied. "This is Scarlet, but we call her Letty, and this is Connie. This over here, is Harper, Gabe''s wife." she introduced them before introducing me. "Oh my gosh, you''re so beautiful" Letty gushes. "Travis is going to be so jealous when I tell him I met Gabe''s wife before he did. He''s been going on and on about how Gabe got married and didn''t tell him. He is also miffed that Gabe refused to tell him who his wife is."

    "Please sit down," Connie tells me with a smile, pulling the chair beside her.

    "Thank you. Let me just make my order. I''ll be right back," I tell them as I ce my bags on the floor.

    I rush over to the counter quickly. Put in an order for an Oreo milkshake before I get back to the table.

    "Don''t you agree, Harper?" Ava asks when I sit down, but I just stare at her in confusion.

    "I''m not sure what I''m supposed to agree with."

    She fully turns to me when I tell her that. "Letty doesn''t understand why I easily forgave Emma when I can''t seem to forgive Mother and Travis. She also doesn''t understand why everyone else got forgiveness except those two, including Rowan and his family,"

    I''m a little behind, but I do know Travis is Emma and Ava''s brother, I also don''t really understand how she was able to forgive Rowan given the shit he put her through, but I choose to remain silent, so she continues.

    "Here is my reasoning when ites to Emma. The only beef I had with Emma was her being a total bitch when she came back, and even though it grated on my nerves, I understood her, after all I did sleep with her boyfriend, drunk or not. Itsted a couple of months, but despite that, she did save my life.

 Chapter 435

    Chapter 0435 I Mother and Travis, on the other hand; treated me like shit for years. You see I where I aming from? Almost a decade of putting up with them treating me like I was nothing. Which is easier to forgive? A couple of months of being treated like shit or years?¡± @? She pauses takes a deep breath, the continues ¡°As for Rowan¡¯s family, it wasn¡¯t easy to forgive them, but we are working through it. It was however easy to let go because at they end of the day, they were only looking out for Rowan. I wasn''t family so they had no loyalty to me. I¡¯m not saying that what they did is right though. They mostly just ignored me.

    Mother and Travis were supposed to be my family and yet the turned their backs on me. For years they treated me like I didn¡¯t matter. For years they broke me

    down in favor of Emma. I know what I did was shitty, but I got my Karma and even then, even seeing this, they continued to I dish out their own kind of Karma. They were rude, cold and intentionally hurt me over and over again, and I again I repeat, it went on for years. How am I supposed to get over that?¡± Everyone is silent even after she stops talking. I get what she means. And Ipletely understand her. It¡¯s easier to heal a fresh wound than one that has been repeatedly stabbed over and over again.

    stare at her, and again I notice she has carefully avoided saying anything about Rowan.

    ¡°Look,¡± I begin. ¡°I don¡¯t want to agree or disagree with you, but I''m the wrong person to ask about this. You know my story, and you also know that I''m still struggling with forgiving Gabriel for what he did.¡±

    d . Letty jumps in. ¡°Ooh, I sense a story there.¡± I simply smile, but don¡¯t say anything.

    I¡¯m not sure I''ll ever be ready to talk I about my previous marriage to Gabriel.

    I I Isenseeyesonme, and I turn to find Ava''s brown eyes fixed on me. They were intense and seemed to search my soul.

    ¡°Anyway, I''ve got news¡± Connie says, getting everyone¡¯s attention and clearing the somewhat tense atmosphere.

    ¡°Go on, share it¡± Letty pushes with excitement.

    ¡°well, Reaper will being home soon¡± Connies happily says, as joy radiates from her. ¡°Just a month to go and he will no longer be in hiding. I can¡¯t wait. I''m so happy and excited. I honestly never thought I''d fall in love, but loving Reaper is totally worth.¡± ¡°That''s amazing news,¡± Ava beams in

    \ happiness. ¡°Finally, Iris will get to see her uncle more.¡± Eh what? Doesn''t Iris see Gabriel ona regr basis? \ I The others gush and give her hugs. They I were both happy for their friends. And I just like Letty said, I also sense a story there. I don¡¯t have to wait long because they fill me in on everything. Including who Reaper is, how he and Connie met and also how he¡¯s rted to Iris.

    When they are done, I fall back on my chairpletely shocked. The shit Ava went through was hard, but it¡¯s amazing how she survived. She¡¯s been so much, and she¡¯s still standing strong.

    After that, we talk about anything and everything under the sun. Just like Lilly, I never connected with any of the women I called friends at home. Not like I connected with Ava, Letty and Connie. It was honestly fun hanging out with them.

    When we parted ways and I went home, 1 couldn¡¯t help but feel like meeting them at that caf¨¦ was the beginning of something new. A blossoming of friendship.

    I I I loved every minute I spent with them.

    I Being around them just felt right.

 Chapter 436

    Chapter 0436 Iwas a nervous wreck. Everything inside me screamed, and I didn¡¯t know how to calm myself down.

    I ¡°How do Ilook?¡± I ask the three women (I who were on video chat with me.

    It¡¯s funny how I just clicked with them. I had never had girlfriends before, but Ava, Letty and Connie were quickly bing my girls. I was surprised at how everything flowed with them and how easy it was for me to open up to them.

    When I''d told them that I was going on a date with Gabriel, they''d been excited for me and even helped me brainstorm the kind of makeup I should go with and how to do my hair.

    ¡°Hot,¡± Ava replies with a smile that lights up her face.

    Letty jumps in after ¡°Sexy,¡±

    -y TY wie . ¡°I''ddo you if I were into women,¡± Connie says seriously, making meugh.

    "My new friends helped me shop for-my dress. The moment they found out about the date and that I had yet to find a dress, I" they volunteered to help me scout shops I in order to get the perfect dress.

    Ilook at myself in the mirror, appreciating how I looked. I wasn¡¯t vain, but I looked pretty damn delectable.

    We¡¯d settled on a red bodycon, midi dress with a round neckline, long sleeves and an open back. I wanted something that was sexy, but ssy at the same time. Ava had agreed that showing just enough to tease was going to drive Gabriel.

    My intention wasn¡¯t to be seductive or drive him crazy, but I wouldn¡¯t mind if it happened either. gp My long hair was in a low textured bun with loose tendrils framing my face. For my makeup, I went with golden brown

    eyeshadow, ck eyeliner and red matte lips. I paired everything up with a pair of I golden heels and a ck leather clutch. i ¡°Seriously, Gabriel won¡¯t be able to take his eyes off you,¡± Ava says, with an I appreciative nce at my outfit.

    I ¡°Thank you, guys, for helping me pick this dress up,¡± I tell them.

    ¡°Anytime, sweetie,¡± Letty says in a sweet voice and I could tell she meant it. ¡°Now, have fun and don¡¯t forget to fill us in on how it went.¡± Connie, who I came to realize is the more silent one of the three, adds, ¡°I¡¯m mostly looking forward to hearing all about Gabe¡¯s reaction.¡± ¡°Bye, and like Letty said, make sure to have fun,¡± thises from Ava.

    After bidding them goodnight, I take a deep breath as I stare at myself onest time before turning around to leave.

    ¡°Oh my gosh,¡± Lilly screams when 1 step into the living room, scaring the life out of me. ¡°You look so beautiful mom.¡± I She rushes to me, before stopping a few inches from me. ¡°Turn around.¡± I With augh, I do as she says and spin around for her perusal.

    Liam and I rarely went out on dates. It''s not that we couldn¡¯t afford it, there are cheaper ces we could have gone to, but we just never really wanted to. We mostly preferred to stay indoors and have family movie nights. gp Like I said, our life was built on friendship andpanionship. It wasfortable and that was okay with both of us. I didn¡¯t mind it, but looking back right now, I see our life together for what it was. We both didn¡¯t want to put any effort into it because we had both loved and lost. Our losses were different, but it still hurt all the same,

    y ed 19 BONUS Maybe if the girl he had loved. The one who took his heart with him had been I alive, they would have had a different life.

    There would be date nights where they enjoyed each other''spany. Maybe their life would have been full of passion [ and fire instead offort.

    I Lilly¡¯s ps bring me back to the present.

    ¡°You look like those models I see on TV.¡± Bending forward, I kiss her cheek.

    ¡°Thank you darling. I''m so d you approve.¡± Lilly has never seen me dress up like this.

    Seeing her so happy and excited about seeing me dressed up, brings a pang to my heart. I''ll always be grateful to Liam for epting us, but what kind of life was I showing my daughter? That it was okay to just befortable in marriage? That it was okay fora rtionship tock passion? That it was okay to marry someone you aren¡¯t in love with?

    Bb A __& hd She would have started seeing our rtionship for what it was. As she got older, she would start to understand and she would think it was okay to settle, I was hurt before but it doesn¡¯t mean that I no longer believed in love.

    I

 Chapter 437

    Chapter 0437 ) I want Lilly to fall in love. Deeply and overhead in love with someone someday.

    I I hate that Liam died, and I still miss him, but if we had stayed married, I would I have destroyed Lilly¡¯s image of marriage and love.

    But aren¡¯t you doing the same thing right now? You entered into a contract marriage after all. A pesky voice says in my head.

    Pushing those thoughts away, I focus on Lilly just as Gabriel walks into the room.

    He stops dead in his tracks when his eyesnd on me. His mouth falls open, and he looks like he¡¯spletely stopped functioning.

    ¡°You are going to catch flies if you keep your mouth open, daddy.¡± Lilly tells him while giggling.

    I smile when he tries to pull himself

    together.

    ¡°You look beautiful, Harper,¡± he says, swallowing.

    ¡°Thank you.¡± I My three friends were right about the I dress after all. Gabriels eyes were tracing my curves in an appreciative manner.

    ¡°We should get going,¡± I mumble. I press my lips together to stop myself fromughing at his reaction.

    Clearing his throat, he pulls himself together. ¡°Yes. We don¡¯t want to bete for our reservation.¡± After bidding Lilly goodnight, we leave.

    The drive to the restaurant is silent. It wasn''t an awkward silence even though I was full of nerves. It is afortable kind of silence. The kind you don¡¯t need to fill with awkward chatter.

    Gabriel drove us, and there is just

    something about a man as formidable as Gabriel driving that gives me butterflies.

    '' Itdoesn¡¯t take us long to get to the restaurant Gabriel had reserved. After parking the car, hees around and '' opens the door for me. With a hand on my I lower back, he guides us to the restaurant.

    One look at Gabriel and the matron shows us to our table which was situated in a private area.

    ¡°I don¡¯t really know what to do, now that we are here,¡± I say nervously once we are seated. ¡°What do people do on first dates?¡± ¡°They get to know each other,¡± he answers.

    ¡°Okay, so we can start with something easy, what''s your favorite color?¡± His lips form a devious and seductive grin. ¡°It was ck, but I''ve just changed

    it tored.¡± The way his eyes roam over my body, "makes me feel like he¡¯s the big bad-wolf that wants to eat me up whole.

    ( Ishift ufortably, trying to avoid the heat of his stare. A stare that was doing '' crazy things to my body.

    ¡°What about you?¡± he asks.

    ¡°I don¡¯t really have a favorite color.

    Whatever looks good will be my pick,¡± I shrug.

    My mom used to find it weird that I didn¡¯t have a favorite color. It honestly used to bug her because ording to her, she simply couldn¡¯t understand why I didn¡¯t pick one color to love.

    I was just about to ask another question when the waiteres to take our orders.

    He leaves after taking them, leaving me to deal with Gabriel''s intensity.

    ¡°Will you stop looking at me like that?¡± I

    demand, because the looks he was giving were distracting.

    "He grins ¡°Like what?¡± ¡°Like you want to bend me over the table (and fuck me,¡± I ¡°Well, Harper, that¡¯s exactly what I want to do,¡± his voice is deep and husky, and I can¡¯t help but wonder how that vibration would feel against my clit.

    The air bes charged, and I swear his eyes darken. The sexual tension that fills the room makes me tighten my legs in an effort to stamp down my desire.

    Maybe agreeing to this date was a terrible idea. I should have thought things through.

    What am I supposed to say to that? His words left me speechless. I could barely think straight as I tried to stay calm and keep myself collected.

    ¡°Is that all you want, Gabriel?¡± I ask once

    1 have my desires under control. ¡°Is sex all you want or is it what you hope to gain from this date?¡± I His grins falls, and his brows furrow ina frown. Before I can stop him, he grabs my I" hand and holds it in his warm hands.

    ¡°I''ll be honest with you, Harper,¡± he begins, ¡°Right now all I can think about is your curvy naked body under mine, and my dick buried deep inside your warm heat. But no, that¡¯s not all I want from you and that¡¯s not what I hoped to gain from this date.¡± Cue in my vagina clenching at the image he painted.

    Why the hell did he keep catching me off guard? This was supposed to be a straight forward date, but somehow, he was changing the rules.

 Chapter 438

    Chapter 0438 ¡°Then what do you want? Because you are honestly confusing me here,¡± I tell him honestly.

    ¡°You. I want you, Harper.¡± I pull my hand from his and straighten in my chair, while looking at him suspiciously.

    ¡°You have to realize just how unbelievable you sound right now. You didn¡¯t want me back then. You never wanted me and even went to great heights to drive in the point. How the hell do you expect me to believe that all of a sudden you now want me?¡± Is it wrong that I''m suspicious of him? That I''m suspicious of his end game. That I''am afraid he could just be charming me Just to get into my pants, That he was ying a game with me. I don¡¯t think I could handle it if that turns out to be case

    It would shatter me.

    He stares at me in an intense way. His "eyes stay on me for a couple of minutes as if he¡¯s trying to find the right words.

    I ¡°Idon¡¯t know what to say, Harper. I don¡¯t I I even think I can exin it to you given i that I barely understand it myself,¡± he exins in a soft voice. ¡°All I know is that I want you, and not just your body,¡± Given our marriage before, I was skeptical. I found it hard to believe his words. To believe that he wants me when he used to drill into me that he never would.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what I am supposed to do with that, Gabriel. I don¡¯t know what you want from me.¡± ¡°Just give me a chance. That''s all I ask,¡± he says, taking my hand again.

    I''am so fucking confused, so instead of saying anything, I keep quiet, I am not

    really sure I''m ready to give him a chance. Hell, I am not even sure I should give him a chance.

    I can¡¯t and won''t even try to deny the attraction I felt towards him. It¡¯s there, I like a zing inferno that was ready to } I consume me, but was that enough? I Should that passion be reason enough to give him a chance? I''m saved from the awkwardness of not answering when the waiter serves our food.

    We eat and make small talk, and I slowly start to rx and let go of the tension that had eased itself in my bones.

    ¡°So, what¡¯s your favorite thing to do when you have free time?¡± Gabriel asks when we are done with dinner.

    ¡°Sleeping,¡± I answer without even thinking about it.

    He grins at me, and he looks nothing like

    a powerhouse, instead he looks boyish.

    ¡°Really?¡± ¡°Definitely,¡± Iugh. ¡°Maybe I was-acat in my former life.¡± At my words, he throws back his head and Iughs. Hisugh is so deep and beautiful that for a moment I just stare at him mesmerized.

    ¡°Is something wrong?¡± his voice unfreezes me and I shake my head.

    ¡°No,¡± I reply ¡°There is no problem at all.¡± The rest of the evening is spent in afortable atmosphere as we talked and just enjoyed each other¡¯spany, something I never thought would happen.

    By the time we leave the restaurant, it¡¯s alreadyte into the night. Since it was chilly outside, Gabriel takes his coat off and drapes it over my shoulders,

    He helps me inside the car, but doesn¡¯t Start the car immediately after he gets in.

    \ He turns to me with a serious expression.

    ¡°I''m dying to kiss you. Can I kiss you Harper?¡± I I''think about it. As much as I wanted so much to kiss him. As much as my body begged me to seal our lips, I couldn¡¯t do that. Not when I was still unsure and confused about where I stood in his life.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but, no¡± I tell him in a confident voice.

    Even though I rejected him partly because of my confusion, the other part was because I wanted to test him. Would he insist? Would he get mad? Deep down I know he isn¡¯t that kind of man, but I couldn¡¯t help myself.

    He smiles at me, proving me right about the kind of man he was. ¡°I will have your kisses soon enough, when I win you over.¡±

    I don¡¯t say a word, and he starts the car secondster. As we make the drive back home, I couldn¡¯t help but wonder if all this was just a phase for him or was he really serious. @

 Chapter 439

    ?

    Emma.

    I was in the kitchen having breakfast, but my food wouldn''t go down easily. Every time I tried to swallow it would get stuck because of how nervous and anxious I was.

    "Are you okay?" my mother asks when I finally give up and let the fork and knife drop from my hands.

    "I don''t know mom, I''m nervous," my voice sounds shaky even to my own ears.

    God. What was I thinking? Was this even a good idea to begin with? Was I even ready for this or am I just trying to stall?

    The questions keep pounding in my head as I look at my food in disgust. My appetite was severelycking, and it''s been that way for months, but today it''s so much worse.

    Mom grabs my hand in hers, before rubbing them gently. Her face softens as she looks at me.

    "I know it''s scary sweetheart, but you have to do this," she tells me gently with a small smile. "It''s for your own good. You won''t be able to move on until you heal your wounds."

    I hear her. I know she''s right, but that still doesn''t make it easy.

    Molly had left a couple of days ago, but not before booking me a therapy session. I''d already promised that I''d give it a try, so I couldn''t back out now. I didn''t want to disappoint her too. Not like I''d disappointed everyone else in my life.

    "I''m just afraid I guess," I whisper, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. "I''m afraid that my therapist will confirm just how much of a bad person I am."

    Mom kisses my hand, and I findfort in that. "Her work isn''t to judge you, and she won''t. Her work is to help you heal and that''s what she''ll do if you only let her."

    Right now, I feel young again. I feel like the girl who would always run to her mother for reassurance when she was doubting herself or feeling insecure. I did love my dad. I love him so fucking much, and I miss him every day, but mom has always been my pir.

    "You''re right, I''m just nervous" I sigh in contentment before lifting her hand and rubbing it against my cheeks.

    She smiles at me, and even though it''s genuine, I still see the sadness in them. I know she still feels horrible about how she treated Ava. Just like me, mom and Travis are battling their own regret.

    Ava has refused to have anything to do with them. She doesn''t want them in her life and haspletely cut them off. I know it pains them, but I also don''t know what to do to help them. Avapletely embraced her biological parents and left mom and Travis in the dirt.

    "Maybe I''m not the only one who needs therapy," I softly suggest.

    Clearing her throat, she pulls her hand away. "I don''t know what you mean, Emma."

    I release a sigh, not really surprised by her reaction. My mother is stubborn (guess I get that trait from her). She would never willingly ept that she needs helps.

    "You know what am talking about, Mom. You need to talk things out with a therapist. You need to let go of the guilt and regrets you are holding to. You need this just as much as I do"

    Her lips press in a firm line and she doesn''t say anything. I don''t push it. Maybe I will in a few days, but not right now. Guilt and regret are strong emotions. Ones that can freeze you in the past, refusing to let go of you. This family, the Sharp family, seems to have a lot of them. We all needed to heal.

    Since I couldn''t keep down the toast and eggs, I eat my banana and drink my coffee. When I''m done, I stand up, ready to leave.

    "I''ll get going" I say, then kiss my mother''s cheeks. "I''ll see you when I get back

    "Okay, darling. Let me know how it goes."

    With a nod, I leave.

    The drive to my appointment is a blur. My unseeing eyes stared outside while my thoughts continued to form a ruckus in my head. I was in turmoil and I felt numb

    Nothing but guilt and regret registered in my head and heart. I didn''t feel happy. I didn''t feel sad. I didn''t feel anything really, except those two fucking emotions. My heart was in shambles, so was my life. I just didn''t know how to get myself out of this rut.

    "Appointment for Emma Sharp," I tell the secretary once I''m inside.

    She gives me a bright smile, but I find it hard to reciprocate.

    "Right, just take a seat. Dr. Mia is just finishing up with another patient," she tells me kindly after checking herputer.

    I nod my head and take a seat on one of thefortable white leather seats. I wait patiently, not really sure if these sessions were going to help, or if it was already toote for redemption.

 Chapter 440

    ?

    I fumble and twist my hands as I wait for my therapist to be done with her current client. I''m so tempted to flee, but that would just make me look like a coward, I was already tired of being one.

    My phone rings, pulling from my thoughts. I sigh in relief, so grateful and happy for the interruption. Without even checking the caller ID, I swipe the screen and ept the call.

    "Are you there, yet?" her voicees through the phone.

    I don''t have to guess who it is. Her voice is ingrained on my brain. I would know it anywhere. Even in my dreams.

    "Hello to you too," I reply sarcastically, and lean back against the chair, feeling myself start to rx.

    The room was painted in a warm orange color. You would think it would look ugly, but it doesn''t. It makes the room feel weing. It also gives you the impression of a warm sunset.

    Color isn''t the only thing that makes this room weing. There are also the soft and fluffy pillows. The live potted nts, flowers and interesting art. I guess the whole interior is meant to put you at ease.

    "Hey, now are you there?" Molly asks again, not wasting any time. "I just had to call and confirm you actually went for your appointment."

    Sighing, I answer. "I''m here, don''t worry about it"

    Thear release a breath through the phone. She must have been really worried that I wouldn''te to appointment given how I was against therapy to begin with.

    "Thank God! I was so worried, Emma. You''ll see, this will be a good thing"

    I don''t say anything, because what was there to say. I wasn''t really sure if it would be a good thing on not.

    Instead on dwelling on that, my eyes wonders to the art on the wall. Awoman crouched down; her face hidden. Her spine was visible and so were her ribs. She seemed to be in pain ( well that is my interpretation) as smoky tendrils of darkness came out from her.

    I tried to interpret it. Was this some kind of warning? That maybe healing won''t be easy. That I''d will painful and it''ll leave me bared for my therapist to see. Maybe it meant that for me to heal, I needed to let go of the darkness that was holding me prisoner from the inside.

    "Emma?" her voice once again pulls me back to reality.

    "I don''t know if it will be a good thing. We''ll just have to wait and see," I reply absentmindedly and give her the only answer I can.

    "I''m just d that you went, that''s what important to me. That you are willing to try"

    I smile even though she can''t even see me. I know we have our disagreements especially when it came to Gunner and Calvin, but Molly has never judged me. Instead, she''s been there for me through my worst.

    "Thanks, Molly" I tell her, just as the secretary lifts her ringing phone and signals to me.

    "I need to go" I tell her. "I think my session is about to begin"

    "Okay. Good luck and don''t forget to call and tell me how it goes"

    "Will do

    After saying goodbye, I hang up the phone and throw it inside my bag. I then stand up and go to the front desk.

    "She''ll be with you in a minute" the secretary says and I just nod my head. A minute or soter, the door handle twists and opens. I stand rooted to the ground when Avaes out.

    She stumbles to a halt and we just stare at each other with nothing but shock

    "Emma?" she whispers, her eyes wide open.

    I probably look the same.

    My eyes roam over her. I haven''t seen her since her wedding and that was a couple of months ago. My eyes stop at her mid-area. It wasn''t that visible making it easy to miss her baby bump given the loose dress she had on.

    "Hi" I give her an awkward wave, since I had no idea what to do.

 Chapter 441

    ?Chapter 0441

    This is Ava we are talking about. I always saw her as a rival since the day I realized that she had a thing for Rowan. I never hated her, but I wouldn''t say I loved her either even though I thought she was my sister. To me, she was just Ava. She didn''t really exist in my world. My hatred however came to life when I learned she slept with Rowan.

    Ava shakes her head as if to clear it, then walks over to me, "What are you doing?"

    "I have a therapy appointment"

    A small smile forms on her lips as she tilts her head to stare at me. "Then you''vee to the right ce. Dr Mia is the best in the city. She''s been my therapist since Ethan got arrested."

    I expected to see hate or bitterness for Ethan because of what he did, but there was none. She just smiled fondly when she said his name.

    The secretary behind me tells me that my therapist is ready for me. I start to fidget. All the reassurance I had a couple of minutes ago flies out of the window.

    I''m jolted from my mini panic when soft and warm hands engulf mine. I look up to find Ava smiling at me and holding my hand.

    "You are nervous" she simply states and I nod.

    "You don''t have to be, Emma. This is the first step to healing. I promise"

    Thear her words, but they are just jumbled. My heart is racing and so is my mind. I''m nervous and a part of me wants to run and hide, because I''m afraid ofing face to face with my mistakes. With my demons.

    "How about I stay here and wait for you?" she asks when I don''t seem to be calming down." If I stay right here, will knowing I''m outside help you?"

    I stop and think for a while.

    "Yes, I think it will" I answer in a small voice, barely above a whisper.

    "Perfect,e then"

    She holds my hand and pulls me towards the door. When we get to it, she gives me a small shove after telling me she''ll be right outside, before closing the door behind me.

    "Hi Emma," the woman sitting at the couch is nothing like I expected her to be.

    I''m awyer, so I assumed she''d be dressed in a skirt suit or something like that. Instead her clothes were really, really casual.

    With her flowing skirt, headscarf, multiple nes and bangles, and her bare feet, she reminded me of a gypsy.

    "Hi" I reply nervously, remembering that she had greeted me first.

    "Take a seat" she tells me in a soft andforting voice.

    Reluctantly, I do as she tells me. I wasn''t a judgmental person, but right now I was judging

    her ability to help me. She''s nothing like I imagined a therapist to be.

    "So, first of all I want you to close your eyes and take a deep breath" she says. "I want you to clear your head, push down any fears you may have about this session. I want you rx, unwind and just be your true self"

    Again, not what I was expecting. Was this how therapy sessions started? This sounds more like yoga than a therapy session.

    I continue looking at her skeptically, my eyes narrowed. Maybe Molly made a mistake. Hell, Ava too. None of what she was telling me seems professional.

    "Emma, this won''t work if you don''t follow my instructions" she tells again me in that gentle manner.

    Sighing, I give in. The session was already booked and paid for. What did I have to lose? With that thought I close my eyes and focus on nothing. I just let my mind drift until it finally rxes.

    "Now, open your eyes" Dr Mia says, and I slowly open my eyes. "How do you feel?"

    "Surprisingly, a bit more rxed and less tense"

    I have to admit that I did not expect that to work at all.

    "Super. Now we can start our session. I learned early on that it''s beneficial for my clients to be at ease before we start our sessions, that''s why I start with helping them to release their dark energies

 Chapter 442

    ?Chapter 0442

    Eh, what do I say to that? I''m not a believer of positive and negative energies.

    "So, if I may ask, why are you here, Errima? What made you decide on therapy?" her questiones as a surprise and for a moment I fumble with my answer.

    "I didn''t want toe. Hell, I''m not even the one that booked it, but my friend thinks it will be beneficial for me. She thinks I need to heal and forgive myself before I can move forward."

    The words just tumble out of my mouth without warning, which shocks me. I never intended to tell her the truth.

    She smiles at me, her face radiating peace. "Honesty, I like that. That''s one thing that I prefer my clients having. Without honesty, how can I help them, right?"

    When I don''t say anything, she continues.

    "You mentioned forgiving yourself, am I wrong to assume that you feel guilty about something?"

    "I feel guilty about a lot of things,"

    What the hell? Did she do something to me? Is there something in the humidifier that makes people open up and talk? Because how the hell did I admit that to her so easily when I never admitted it to Molly?

    "Guilt is a strong emotion. What else do you feel?"

    "Regret, loss"

    "That''s good. Guilt and regret usually go hand in hand. It''s hard to feel regret and not guilt and vice versa. In your case, I think you lost someone precious to you, and the guilt and regret of not valuing them is eating you inside"

    I fight back the tears, because she was damn right. She hit the mark on the spot.

    "Before we can get into those three emotions, I want you to tell me about your childhood. Your parents, siblings, friends, childhood crushes. Walk me through your life as a teenager and then as a young adult. Can you do that for me?"

    I nod and proceed to tell her everything. She listens as I bare everything. By the time we get to when Ava and Rowan slept together and then what happened after, I was a hot crying mess. I managed to pull through though and told her everything.

    "There is a lot to unpack from what you''ve told me, Emma, but that''s why I am here" she says once I am done talking. "I''m here to help you deal with you pain and hurts. I am here to help you heal

    "Thank you" I snivel and wipe my nose and tears.

    "Our time is over, but I want you to give you an assignment. Go buy a journal, okay? And in our next session you''ll tell me why you bought that specific journal. What attracted you to it. Is it because it''s your favorite color? Is it because you like leather covers? That sort of thing"

    Inod, understanding what she meant.

    "Then I want you to write down what you felt about Rowan and Ava. I want you to write what you felt about Calvin and Gunner. I want you to write what you felt about yourself. Mark those words, Emma. Not what you feel, what you felt, back then when you were in uni

    "Okay''

    She then takes my hand and squeezes. "I want you to know that I am proud of you. This is a huge step you are taking and I am so proud of you for having the carriage to bare your wounds. Healing is messy, but I''ll be here to guide you through it."

    I don''t why, but it feels so fucking good to hear her say that. It eases something inside me.

    "Thank you, Mia" I tell her. She told me to call her by her name.

    "Wee" she smiles and then stands up. "I''ll see you in our next session"

    I walk out of her office feeling lighter than I have in a very long time.

 Chapter 443

    ?

    Ava stands up and walks towards me the moment I get outside the door.

    "How was it?" she asks, her eyes shifting between mine.

    If I am being honest, then I''m surprised she''s still here. When she said that she would wait for me, I didn''t expect her to. I just thought she would wait till I was inside, then leave. I never thought she''d wait the entire one and a half hour.

    "It was surprisingly nice," I reply, not really sure how to put it.

    I liked the session more than I thought I would. For so long, I kept what I was feeling inside me. Sure, I told Molly, but I never allowed myself to feel the emotions. I never told her how I felt. The heartbreak, the pain, the emptiness, all of it, I kept it to myself.

    Being able to do that with Mia was eye-opening. I don''t know how she did it. I don''t know how she got me to open up... But everything just came tumbling out of my mouth and heart. Every feeling I''ve tried fleeing from. Every pain I''ve tried burying. Everything just tumbled out of me.

    I''m nowhere near okay, but I feel good. I feel great that I was able to release that part of myself that I''ve been trying to bury.

    "That''s good,e on then" Ava tells me gently. "Let''s get you cleaned up, and then we can get some ice cream."

    I feel like I''ve lost my mind or something. Ice cream? With Ava? Did I wake up in an alternate universe or some shit?

    Before I can even question her on her actions, she pulls me to aidor. We enter the washrooms and she turns me so that I''m facing the mirror.

    I gasp in shock when I stare at my face.

    "I learned early on to carry wipes whening in for my session," she says as she pulls out wipes, concealer and mascara from her handbag.

    I continue staring at myself in the mirror. My eyes were red and puffy, and my mascara was smudged all over my face. If I had known this would be the aftermath, I would have gone with a waterproof mascara instead.

    In my defense, I didn''t expect Mia to break my defenses and have me bawling like a child. I''ve always held myself upright and uptight. For Mia to be able to break through my defenses is honestly shocking.

    I''m pulled out of my thoughts when Ava hands me the wipes. Slowly, I take them from her hand and begin wiping the mascara. We stay silent as I get myself cleaned up. Once I''m done, I use the concealer to cover the blotchiness under my eyes. Thank God Ava and I have the same skin tone.

    "How do I look?" I ask when everything is done.

    "Better?" she says it more as a question than a statement.

    I just shrug my shoulder. "That''ll do."

    We pack everything up and leave the washrooms.

    After setting up my next appointment, we leave the building. We were outside and I was just about thank her when she speaks.

    "There is a small ice cream shop across, do you want to join me?"

    She had mentioned it before we went to the restroom, but it still catches me by surprise. I didn''t know what to do. Do I ept her invitation? Do I reject it?

    "It''s okay if you don''t want to, and I don''t want to be pushy," she says when she notices my dilemma. "It''s just something I think you''d like. My first therapy session was hard, getting ice creamter and collecting my thoughts helped."

    I think about it for a minute before nodding. "Sure, why not?"

    She smiles at me brightly, and for the first time, I truly see the beautiful woman who was hidden under years of neglect and mistreatment.

    We cross the road and head to the shop. It was small and cozy. It kind of reminded me of a grandmother''s house. Not my grandmother though. My grandma was a cold woman who cared mostly about wealth and status.

    We get seats near a window, in a farer. The whole ce wasfortable, and I get why Ava liked this ce.

    "I still can''t believe we are here, together," I say after our ice creams arrive. "And we are not pulling each other''s hair out."

    Sheughs, her eyes shining. "I know, right? If someone told me this a few years back. I would haveughed in their faces and told them hell to the no."

    I can''t stop the grin that spreads across my face. "You really hated me, didn''t you?"

    I wasn''t asking to be malicious, I was just curious.

    Ava stopsughing and bes serious. "I didn''t really hate you, Emma. I was jealous of you. There is a difference. You had everything I wanted. Rowan''s love and that of our family and his family while I had nothing but hate and indifference from them. I had no one but myself. That is until Noah came along."

 Chapter 444

    ?

    My heart aches at the pain that''s still embedded in her voice. I get why she''s still in therapy. Ava hasn''t yet healedpletely.

    I look back and put myself in her shoes. I never questioned why my parents were how they were towards Ava even before she and Rowan messed up. I just went along with how things were. I didn''t ignore her, but I also never went out of my way to make her feel included.

    After the mess with Rowan, I was too heartbroken and drowning in my own pain to care about how cruelly they treated her. In my head, I rationalized it by saying that she deserved it.

    "I wasn''t the best older sister growing up, was I?" I ask slowly, as the weight of my mistakes continue to hit me.

    "It''s okay, and it doesn''t really matter. I was also not the best little sister and I ruined everything. I love Noah, I really do and I''d never regret him, but I do regret the night he was conceived. I never meant to cause you so much pain, Emma. Please believe that."

    I blink back the tears, trying my hardest not to let them fall. She reaches out and grabs my hand before squeezing it. When I look up, she''s also fighting back her tears.

    "Why are you being nice to me? I was terrible to you after I came back."

    I was puzzled. I did everything to cause trouble for her. She should hate me. She should be d karma got me.

    Ava gives me a watery smile. "Because even though I hated how you treated me, I understood where you wereing from. It wasn''t intentional on my part, but fact is, I slept with your boyfriend. The guy you loved. You had a right to be angry. You had right to hate me. Your emotions towards me were valid given I loved and wanted him even knowing he was taken. I was young and immature, but that''s not an excuse. I should have been better. I should have done better... and that will always be my biggest regret."

    I squeeze her hand. Needing an anchor to tie me to the present. To stop me from drowning in a sea of loss and pain.

    "I''m sorry, Ernma. More than you know. I look at everything and I wonder if things would have been better if I''d let go. Maybe then you, Calvin and Gunner wouldn''t be in so much pain. Maybe everybody would have gotten their happy ending. I''m so sorry. I ruined your life and I don''t even know how to help you fix it."

    We both bawling by this point. The only good thing is that we were hidden in our safe nook.

    I hated that she carried such a burden. She didn''t deserve to carry the weight of my mistakes. Calvin and Gunner? How I treated them was my decision. She shouldn''t be carrying the burden of the oue.

    "It wasn''t your fault, Ava... and I don''t want you to think it is. You have nothing to do with my choices or my mistakes."

    "But my actions led you to those choices, so no matter how you look at it, it''s still my fault."

    "No, it''s not," I tell her firmly, wiping my tears.

    "Yes, it is."

    "It''s not."

    "It is."

    "It''s not"

    "It is"

    "Oh for goodness sake, will you just drop it?" I throw my hands up in frustration. "Can''t you just ept my fucking answer"

    She res at me, but there isn''t any heat behind it. "Way to ruin the moment."

    "I did not"

    "You did"

    We scowl at each other, then burst outughing. Weugh so hard that we hold on to the table for support. We are weird. One moment we were crying and the next we wereughing. Something is wrong with us.

    "This is nice," Ava says after we''ve both calmed down. "We should do this more often."

    She''s right. It was nice. I never expected to have Ava as anything other than my arch nemesis, but today proved that maybe a friendship can blossom. She understood my pain in ways I doubt anyone ever will.

    "I''d love that."

    After that, everything just feels easy. We eat ice cream. We talk and weugh. We spent almost three hours in that cozy shop and I loved every minute of it. After, I went home feeling more alive than I have in a long time.

 Chapter 445

    J Chapter 0445 Ava. ~= I''sat at my dressing table staring nkly at the mirror while I brushed my hair. It was around nine in the evening and my head was a mess.

    When I went for my therapy session today, I never expected to bump into Emma. Hell, I never expected to offer to wait for her, then invite her for ice cream, and then go ahead, and spend hours just talking with her.

    She told me it was her first therapy session and I just felt the need to be there for her. I know how hard my session was for me. The fear and anxiety. The panic and pressure. I went alone, and I almost gave myself a heart attack with how anxious and nervous I got.

    When I got out of that session, I felt ripped open. Like my wounds had been

    scrubbed raw. I had done nothing to heal them. Instead, I just covered them and buried my head in the sand. Band-aids can¡¯t fix bullet holes, and that¡¯s exactly what I tried to do.

    I was mess. I felt exposed. I felt drained. I felt like a gaping hole was where my chest should be, and my bleeding heart could be seen. I Letty was on a business trip that time and there wasn¡¯t anyone I could call tofort me. So, when I got out and saw that ice cream shop, that¡¯s where I went to collect myself.

    For some weird reason, I didn¡¯t want that for Emma. I didn¡¯t want to see her all alone and broken. I didn¡¯t want to leave her, knowing how brutal the first session could be. That¡¯s why I offered to stay and wait for her. I didn¡¯t think she¡¯d take my offer and I was surprised when she did.

    She came out of that office, wide eyed with dried mascara smudged on her face.

    She looked like she''d been through hell and back. Just like I''d predicted, that first session had been brutal.

    She also looked confused, and I know why. Emma isn¡¯t one to share her feelings. We were simr in that manner.

    None of us liked sharing. We liked burying that pain and pretending we were okay.

    I had that same reaction after I realized that Mia had easily gotten me to open up.

    I didn¡¯t understand how she did. If I believed in magic, then I would think she cast a spell or something.

    When we sat down at the ice cream shop and I saw the pain she was hiding, I couldn¡¯t help but apologize. I still feel like everything that happened was my fault.

    Maybe if I hadn¡¯t been so obsessed with Rowan, things would have turned out okay for everyone.

    I love Rowan. I fucking do. I just can¡¯t help but wonder if things would have

    been better if I''d let go. None of us would have gone through the years of pain that I we had. Calvin, Emma and Gunner are still suffering. They''re still in pain. If Id let go earlier, maybe they wouldn''t be where they were right now.

    And maybe they would have still ended . . I up where they are. That tiny voice 4 I whispers.

    When I apologized to Emma, I meant every word I said. So many times, I wish I could go back in time and change things, but that night would mean erasing Noah and Iris from existence.

    ¡°Ava?¡± I''m startled when a handnds on my shoulder. I look up to find Rowan staring at me with worry in his grey eyes.

    ¡°You startled me. When did you get back?¡± I ask, putting my hand brush down before standing up and facing him.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I''ve been calling you name for almost five minutes.¡± I hug him and peck his cheek, before going to sit on the bed. ¡°I was just lost in thought.¡±

 Chapter 446

    Chapter 0446 " Istay quiet as I watch him take off his coat, then tie, then socks. The rest of his clothese off, until he¡¯s left in nothing but his boxers. I watch him as he crosses the room and disappears into the bathroom. Secondster, the shower \ turns on, and I pull my eyes from the door, and focus straight on. Not really seeing anything.

    My mind wanders back to Emma.

    I got my happy ending, but what about her? Should I even be calling it a happy ending when Rowan was hers in the beginning? Would they have been together had I let go? Would they have been happy? All these questions keep running through my head. All these doubts keep making me question my decision to stay with Rowan. I want everyone happy. I hate knowing that I got my happy ending

    I while Emma and Calvin didn¡¯t.

    Maybe if I''d let go, Emma and Rowan "would have remained together. They would have remained in love. Then Calvin would have moved on and so would I.

    Everyone would have gotten their happy I ending.

    ¡°Ava, are you okay?¡± his voice pulls me from my musings.

    I''stare up at him to find him in nothing but a towel. It''s low on his hips, and that delicious V is visible for me to see. Water droplets run slowly down his chest and abs, and for a second I forget what he had asked me.

    This is the effect he had on me. One look at him, and Ipletely forget everything.

    Sighing, I look away from his naked chest. ¡°I''met Emma today, and we spent some time together,¡±

    I When I stare at his eyes, there is nothing at the mention of her name. No regret. No J) longing. No love. There was absolutely nothing. B ¡°And that messed you up?¡± hees and sits down beside me.

    ¡°Yes¡± I answer honestly, trying to fight back my tears. ¡°She¡¯s hurting and I can¡¯t help but wonder if things would have been better had I just let go and walked away. Maybe I shouldn¡¯t havee to find you that night. Maybe I should have run away the moment I found out I was pregnant. Maybe I should have fought harder against your decision to marry.¡± I stand up and start pacing our bedroom.

    ¡°Maybe! Maybe! Maybe! All the possibilities keep ying in my head over and over again. I ruined your life. I ruined her life. I ruined Calvin¡¯s life. I just don¡¯t know what to do.¡± He gets up and grabs me by my upper arm. I try wrenching myself from him,

    but he doesn¡¯t let go.

    ¡°You didn¡¯t ruin my life, Ava. You didn¡¯t,¡± he whispers hoarsely.

    I can¡¯t stop the tears that flow down my face. It¡¯s too painful knowing that my I love was the cause of pain for other people.

    ¡°Yes, I did. You loved her and I took that away from both of you. You would have been happy had I just let go. Had I been strong enough to move on before I messed things up. Hell, I never should have agreed to the marriage.¡± His hands move from my shoulder and wrap around my waist, bringing me close to him.

    It was a constant battle. Two yearster, and I was still fighting with the demons of my past. Two years and I was still trying to heal.

    Mia told me not to expect instant healing.

    She told me healing takes time, and it isn¡¯t a process that can be rushed. She I said it takes others, even ten, fifteen \ years, to heal. = ¡°I¡¯m d you agreed to the marriage, I Ava. I¡¯m d you didn¡¯t let go. I''m I fucking d you held on for as long as you could because I can¡¯t imagine my life without you. It kills me every day knowing I almost lost you. That the reason you are in my arms is because Ethan messed up and ended up in prison.¡±

 Chapter 447

    Chapter 0447 '' His voice is hoarse as he tries to suppress his emotions. The tremble in his voice is my undoing. I don¡¯t like it when he¡¯s in pain. I hate it.

    ¡°Rowan...¡± ¡°No, Ava. It¡¯s true. I was almost toote and deep down I know that had it not been for Ethan screwing up, I wouldn¡¯t have had a chance with you. You wouldn¡¯t havee back to me had fate not intervened. I will always be grateful that you gave me another chance despite the shit I did to you. The mistake you think you made that night? It¡¯s nothingpared to what I put you through for nine years and yet you took me back...¡± ¡°Because I love you.¡± ¡°Yes, but Ethan almost imed that love for himself.¡±

    1 hated how insecure he was about Ethan.

    1 did almost fall for him, but he wasn''t meant for me. Ethan will always have a special ce in my heart, not because I''m in love with him, or because he gave me Iris, but because he taught me how to live and love myself when no one else does.

    ¡°You don¡¯t need to feel guilty because I am where I¡¯m supposed to be. What Emma and I had was young love. It wouldn¡¯t havested. Look at how it crumbled when it was put to the test? We held on because we thought it was the shit. We thought it was true love. We also never really got closure. What I feel for you is the real deal, Ava, and I know that because just the thought of losing you sends me into a panic like no other.

    Losing you would kill me. Losing you wouldn¡¯t push me to drinking and doing drugs, it''ll end me because without you I am nothing.¡± He works every day to prove himself to me, To show me that he loves me and

    only me. It¡¯s an uphill battle, because there are times I¡¯m reminded of his love \ for Emma. I''m reminded of how he held I on to her for years and that brings doubts.

    I There are moments when I¡¯m reminded of the pain he put me through. The heartache I went through at his hands.

    There are moments when those memories tear at my heart and I wonder what I''m still doing with him. Those times, as if sensing my thoughts, he''lly his head on my chest and hold me tightly as if he¡¯s afraid of losing me. He''ll then whisper over and over again that he loves me until his words push away the darkness.

    Like I said, it¡¯s an uphill battle, and I''m not at the top yet, but slowly I''m learning to let go.

    ¡°I''ll be at your feet every day because the ground you walk on should be worshiped.

    I''ll remind you every day of my love for

    you. Ill fight each and every waking morning to keep you by my side. I''ll I spend the rest of my life proving to you, I my love. I''ll never make you regret your decision to give me a second chance, and I¡¯ll spend the rest of my life loving you the way you deserve, Ava.¡± All my doubts flee, as he words embrace me in a bubble of love and warmth.

    ¡°I love you so much, Rowan,¡± I whisper against his lips.

    ¡°I love you too, Darling,¡± he whispers right before he captures my lips ina scorching kiss.

    He then proceeds to show me just how much he loves me, giving me no room to think about anything except him and his love, all through the night.

 Chapter 448

    Chapter 0448 "Gabe. ¡ª It¡¯s been roughly two weeks since my first date with Harper, and I''m at a Joss on what the fuck I should do.

    I know it doesn¡¯t make sense given I had her before and 1 divorced her, but I crave her like I''ve never craved anyone or anything.

    She somehow finds her way into every thought I have when I wake up, and before I go to bed. It¡¯s driving me crazy, but Iam also notining. like thinking of her, Ilike thinking of her soft lips, her gorgeous smile, herugh, her beautify] face and luscious body. I fucking like thinking of her. Just her. She¡¯s beautiful both in and out, and I''ve gotten to know her these past few weeks by silently studying her,

    Why didn¡¯t I do this when we were married? Why did I push her away? Why did I treat her like shit? I was young, but I can¡¯t use that as an excuse. It¡¯s inly simple that I was asshole.

    Looking back, I see it for what it was.

    I Andrew gave me a gift, but I didn¡¯t treasure it. Instead, I trampled on it with my cruel mistreatment. Sure, he did ckmail me, but I''m also starting to understand why.

    Their parents had died in an ident.

    This was about a year or so after Andrew had taken the reigns of thepany. Thepany was in shambles, they were bankrupt and in debt. No one wanted to give a helping hand for fear of losing their ownpanies. Investing in theirpany was high risk and no one wanted to take that kind of risk.

    He was dying. Andrew knew he was dying and that there was barely any hope of him surviving thete-stage cancer. He loved

    I his sister and thought of protecting her.

    What better way to make sure she was I taken care of than to marry her into the most affluent family? Ed It hit me one dayst week that that was the reason why he ckmailed me into I marrying Harper. It wasn¡¯t done out of malice. Nor was he hoping to gain something from being associated with the Wood family. He just wanted to secure his sister¡¯s future. A sister he loved and knew would have no one when he died.

    I''always wondered why he approached me specifically. When I couldn¡¯t get the answer, I just assumed it was because he and his sister wanted to use my family name.

    Now, though, no one has to tell me why he did it. I figured that on my own because I would have done exactly the same thing had I been his shoes. My only regret is that I didn¡¯t figure this out years

    ago when Harper still wanted me.

    I see the suspicion in her eyes every time 4 "Ido something nice for her. I see the distrust in those ck orbs every time she looks at me. It fucking guts me that I was so cruel to her that she now views me as someone to be doubted.

    ¡°Boss, the reports are here,¡± Christopher¡¯s voice pulls me from my thoughts.

    I swivel in my chair and motion for him to bring them to me. He does.

    I open them and scan through the pages, word by word, sentence by sentence. With each and every word I read, my eyes narrow into slits and my lips harden into a thin line.

    ¡°How the fuck was she still working here?¡± I growl and throw the papers on my desk after reading them.

    They scatter and Chris rushes to collect

    them, pushing them back into the file.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t know it was that bad too,¡± he says once he¡¯s done. ¡°I always thought her only problem is her meanness. She can be a fucking bitch at times.¡±

 Chapter 449

    Chapter 0449 How the hell did we have someone like her working for thepany? Her list of wrongdoing keeps rattling in my mind and I can¡¯t stop the anger that begins to simmer inside me.

    ¡°Get me HR here!¡± I breathe through clenched teeth. ¡°Ang sent that fucking Woman a dismissal email, I don¡¯t want her in thispany. And make sure finance knows that she gets nothing, Not after knowing the despicable ways she has been conducting herself.¡± ¡°On it, boss.¡± It doesn¡¯t take long for the HR manager to arrive in my office... And by the time he does, I''m fuming, ¡°I''was told you wanted to see, Mr.

    Wood,¡± he eyes keep roaming, avoiding €ye contact with me,

    ¡°What are we paying you to do?¡± I ask, my eyes narrowing at him.

    He was a tall, skinny and balding mann.

    The suit he was hanging off his shoulder and looked too big for him.

    I Instead of answering me, the idiot just \ stares at me as if he doesn¡¯t understand what I am asking, ¡°When I ask a question, I expect a fucking answer,¡± I thunder. ¡°Now, what are we paying you to do?¡± He stammers in fear as he lists his responsibilities.

    ¡°If that¡¯s the case, then how the hell did Milly get hired, given you are supposed to do a thorough screening? And how the fuck did she get away with being a bullying bitch when it was reported that some of the employeesined about her?¡± I see the moment he realizes just how

    deep in shit he is in. His eyes widen and he starts to fidget.

    '' ¡°IswearI didn¡¯t know, Mr. Wood: ve never received anyints¡± he stammers, as sweat starts to form on his head. \ Looking at him, I scoff. ¡°You didn¡¯t get any reports aboutints? So, this has nothing to do with the free sex and blow jobs Milly has been giving you, so you can make thoseints disappear?¡± ¡°Mr. Wood...¡± ¡°So, apart from neglecting your responsibilities for cheap sex, you are also a liar.¡± Panic washes over his face, and a sick kind of satisfaction fills me when he starts to tremble in fear.

    ¡°Please, Mr. Wood,¡± ¡°Ge oo fi et out, you are fired, Now you can get

    I hada ind all the free blow jobs you want from Milly, given you''ve both just lost your I jobs, and you have all the free time.¡± My lips twist in an evil smirk. ¡°And given what your bitch of a sidepiece did to my wife, it¡¯s only fair I let your wife know just what you''ve been doing with the I I office slut.¡± All color drains from his face at the mention of his wife. He didn¡¯t wear a wedding ring, but his file said he had a wife and two kids.

    Tears start pouring out of his eyes as he begs me to give him a second chance. I look at him in disgust. What a pathetic piece of ass.

    Calling the security guards, Christopher makes sure that he is escorted out of our building.

    I''fall on my chair once I''m alone in my office, It disgusts me that the idiot was cheating on his wife, but didn¡¯t I do the

    same to Harper years ago? In fact, I went to great lengths to make sure she knew of I my infidelities because I wanted to hurt her. His actions disgusted me, but I was just as disgusted with myself as I was with him.

    I Turning myptop on, Ilog in to the \pany¡¯s security system. I watch her [ through the CCTV cameras as she works on herputer, before writing notes on her notebook.

    This time I swear to treat her right. To treat her like I should have years back.

 Chapter 450

    ?

    Harper.

    I am dead tired and so hungry I think I''m going to die. I didn''t have breakfast this morning because I woke upte.

    There has been a discussion on an important business deal, so Gabe has been going to the office earlier than I do. I didn''t sleep well at night, so I totally missed my rm.

    Lilly has settled at school and even though I still manage to take her once in a while, most of the time her driver is the one that drives her to school. We still have dinner together every evening though. And Gabe still makes sure toe home before she goes to bed.

    As for my rtionship with Cabe, let just say it''s been a bit strenuous. Don''t get me wrong. he hasn''t been cruel or anything, instead, he''s been the opposite, which does surprise me. It surprises me because it''s so unlike him.

    I keep expecting to see the man I married years to show up, but he''s nowhere on the horizon. Hell, I keep expecting to see the man that came to my apartment months ago, guns zing, and throwing out threats like they were truths, but he''s nowhere to be seen.

    It''s fucking confusing. I mean, where did that man go? He was cruel towards me for three straight years. Right up to the day he divorced me. What am I supposed to think? Feel?

    It''s been years since then, people change. That small voice whispers in my head.

    I really do want to believe that, but can a cheetah change its spots? You see where I aming from, right? How hard it is for me to just ept that he''s changed.

    Forcing those thoughts away, I stand up when my stomach grumbles for the millionth time. couldn''t do anything about the doubts in my head right now, but I could do something about my hunger.

    "Going down for lunch?" Christopher asks when I get out of my office and pass by his desk. "Yes," I smile. "Do you need me to bring anything?"

    "Nah, I''m good. I''ll have something delivered for both me and the boss man," he replies and I nod my head before leaving.

    Christopher takes care of everything for Gabriel. A part from learning, sometimes I wonder why I''m even here in the first ce. I was to be his other secretary, but most of the time think I''m Chris''s secretary,

    Maybe I''ll talk to Gabriel about it. I don''t for one second look down on being a P.A but I just don''t see how being a secretary will help me leam to run apany.

    I already had some new ideas about Unity Ventures that I was dying to implement. Unity Ventures was a real estatepany. It was mainly sought after because we were good at buying and selling prime properties. Back then, most properties were managed by ourpany. It was rare to find a selling property that didn''t have ourpany''s name. Since I am an interior designer, my idea was to expand Unity Ventures once I had it. I couldincorporate my services and maybe extend it to architectural services and building and construction. That way we would be all rounded. We wouldn''t just be involved in selling properties.

    The ideas I came up with excited me. I me that same excitement for making me so lost in thought that I failed to notice the screeching woman that was on a direct warpath towards me.

    "You bitch! This is all your fault."

    I look up startled and taken by surprise to find a very unkempt and distraught Milly ring at me with bloodshot eyes.

    "Eh, what exactly is my fault?" I ask, sizing up her disheveled condition.

    The put together, holier than thou woman I was used to, was nowhere in sight. She was in a hoody and sweatpants. Her hair was in a messy bun, and it looked greasy and thin. It also looked like it hadn''t been washed or brushed in a long time.

    Her lips were chapped, and her eyes had bags undemeath them. It''s like her magic had wom off and long gone was the beautiful woman I knew and in her ce was the ugly-wicked witch of the east.

    "You got me fired!" she screams, her eyes shooting daggers at me.

    Huh. So the reports finally came out.

 Chapter 451

    ?

    "Your actions and bad attitude got you fired. Don''t me your damn mistakes on me."

    "It''s you fault. If you hadn''te here, none of these things would have happened."

    I was to slow to respond, so when sheunches at me and strikes, I''m taken by surprise.

    I stumble before righting myself up. I was done. This bitch has gotten away with so many things, she won''t get away with pping.

    Without thinking, I swivel my hand and punch her. We scream at the same time.

    "Fuck, that hurts," I curse.

    "You punched me!"

    Since she didn''t expect me to punch her, she fell, holding her bleeding nose. Despite the pain in my hand, I got a sick satisfaction watching her bleeding and in pain.

    "Harper!" Gabriel''s voice screams behind me, but I don''t take my eyes off Milly, just in case she decides to attack me again.

    Secondster, her view is obstructed and all I can see is a broad chest, covered in white cotton.

    "Are you okay? I''m sorry I didn''t get to you in time," he says hurriedly. "I honestly didn''t think she''de here after getting the dismissal email."

    I tip my head and stare at him. His grey eyes were washed in worry and concern which warmed my heart.

    Realizing the warm feelings, I shake my head trying to get rid of him.

    "I''m okay, I can take care of myself," I whisper, holding my hand close to my chest.

    Who knew punching someone could be so painful?

    It''s only after Gabriel turns that I realize we had an audience. Milly with her fucking drama and love for attention. Of course, she would choose the cafeteria to attack me. What a fucking bitch.

    "You didn''t get the fucking memo when I fired you?" Gabriel begins addressing Milly who had now stood up. "Instead, you had the audacity to show up and assault my wife at mypany. Are dumb or just in stupid?"

    His back is stiff, and his voice is chilling. I''m literally getting goosebumps from how scary his voice is.

    "She punched mel"

    Milly seriously didn''t know when to stop, did she?

    "After you attacked her!"

    I stand behind Gabriel, like a spectator watching a drama series. Gabriel was in his element, and I''m not ashamed to say that it is hot bearing witness to him being intimidating.

    "Call the guards!" he tells no one in particr, but everybody rushes to do his bidding.

    Minutester, two guards arrive.

    "How the fuck did she get in?"

    They look at each other in question and surprise. Looks like Milly had given them the slip if they didn''t even know she was here.

    "Get her out of my fucking sight, and if I ever see her here again, you''ll be fired," Gabriel says in amanding voice that does things to me. Things I''m not really ready to acknowledge or admit.

    Milly screams and pleads as the guard grab her.

    "Oh, and Milly, expect a call from mywyer. I''ll be filing assault charges against you." he informs her in a taut voice.

    Her screams be louder, and she thrashes against the guards who start dragging her out of the room. Minutes after she''s gone, her screeches still echo.

    "Get back to what you were doing." Gabriel orders in an authoritative voice, that has everyone rushes back to their lunches.

    Taking my uninjured hand, he guides me back to the elevator. He doesn''t say a word as we get in, and we don''t speak as we ride the elevator back to the top floors.

    We stop at Christopher''s desk.

    "What would you like to eat?" he asks, his eyes roaming over my face.

    "Anything is okay with me. I''m so hungry, I don''t care what it is as long as it''s edible."

    The words slip from my lips before I can stop them. A warm fuzzy feeling engulfs me when his lips twist in a grin.

    "Get her whatever it is you''re getting me," he tells him and then leads me to his office.

    When the door closes behind us, he lets go of my hand and starts pacing.

    "I''m so fucking sorry. I didn''t think she''de to me and attack you," his voice is so full of remorse and I hate that he''s ming himself.

    He guides me to the sofa before standing up again.

 Chapter 452

    ?

    Moving towards the small bar at the corner of his office, he gets a small pack of ice, wraps it in a towel before corning back to me. Gently, he takes my hand and ces the ice on it.

    "Does it hurt?" he asks so softly that I struggle to hear him.

    "A bit.."

    "I didn''t think you had it in you to punch someone"

    Iugh because I also didn''t think I had it in me. "I had enough and just acted without thinking. I''m sorry if I caused you any trouble. I shouldn''t have punched her. That doesn''t really portray a good image of me as the boss''s wife."

    He leans in and stares intensely into my eyes.

    "Never ever fucking apologize for defending or standing up for yourself, Harper. You are my fucking wife, let them know you''re not someone to mess with."

    "I just don''t get it, did you sleep with her?" I blurt out the question.

    "Fuck no!" he growls.

    "Then why does she think she has a hold on you? All our interaction always included her warning me away from you. She behaved like you were hers or something."

    The scoff thates from his mouth makes me turn. His brows are drawn in a sneer as if that''s the most disgusting thing he''s ever heard.

    "I''ve never had anything with her," he all but yells. "I didn''t even know the wornan existed until that incident weeks back. She''s not even my type."

    "And what is your type, Gabriel?" I know I shouldn''t have asked, but I just found myself asking.

    Those hypnotizing grey eyes draw me in and drown me in them.

    "You."

    That one word. One simple word that has my entire bodying alive in ways I haven''t felt in years.

    "I''ve found that I have a new type and that type is you, Harper."

    Damn it. I need to get away from him. It''s been years. There shouldn''t be anything between us, yet that sizzling attraction towards him is there. It has beening back to life since I moved into his penthouse.

    I push him away from me and stand up "This is insane."

    "What''s insane? That I like you? That I want you?"

    Shaking my head, I try to clear the fog. It''s like he had me under a spell or something. A spell I was struggling to pull myself from,

    "Yes! You are trying to seduce me and I don''t understand why," I rasp feeling caged and edgy.

    "Why is it so hard to just ept that I want you, Harper?"

    Was he fucking kidding me right now?

    "Because you didn''t want me before." I breathe, my heart beating frantically. "You have to understand that what you are saying doesn''t make sense to me, so it''s therefore suspicious."

    "I know why it would seem that way, given our past, and I can assure you that I mean every word. You have no reason to believe me" he pauses. "Until I prove it to you"

    "To what end, Gabriel? Our marriage is a contract"

    Did he somehow forget that? Has he forgotten that he''s the one who approached me with the contract? With the terms? Has he forgotten that this marriage is nothing but a business deal.

    "I''m finding that I now want different things. One of them being that I want our marriage to be more than just a contract. I want to give it a real chance."

    Color me shocked. Can he hear the things he''s saying right now? A real marriage. Was he high on something? Gabriel is the biggest yboy I know, so why would he want this to work all of a sudden?

    "I just don''t know, Gabriel," I whisper.

    My head is a jumbled mess, and I am so fucking confused I don''t even know if this is real or not.

    He grabs my hand and pulls me to him, so we stand face to face.

    "You have nothing to worry about."

    I scoff at his words. As if. I had every right to worry. This isn''t how I imagined or nned for this marriage to go.

    He continues, ignoring my scoff, "Like I said, I''m the one doing the chasing this time, Harper, and when I catch, know that I won''t be letting go."

 Chapter 453

    ?

    Have you ever been struck stupid by someone''s words? Like, they just rendered youpletely speechless and stupid at the same time? That''s what his words have done to me.

    I''mpletely stunned by his words, words which send shivers down my spine. I see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. He was dead serious and he was making a promise. A promise he was determined to fulfill.

    What do you even say to something like that? How do you even reply? What can you reply?

    This side of him waspletely new to me. Give me the arrogant, egoistic, rude and hurtful Gabriel, and I''ll know how to deal with him. This side of him though? I was blind when it came to him. I knew nothing about how to handle him or deal with him.

    I came to this marriage with a clear focus. I knew what I was getting myself into. I was fucking prepared for it... but now, he had changed the rules and hadpletely blindsided me.

    I was walking on and navigating treacherous waters. It was bound to end in disaster, given I wasn''t prepared for any of it.

    My mind races as his gaze intensifies. Without warning, his arms shoot out and wrap around my waist, bringing me close to him.

    His cologne envelops me, drowning me in a scent that is nothing but masculine. Beneath his cologne is his natural scent. A scent that is all pheromones and calls to my natural body reaction. A reaction that demands myplete submission to the dominant male in front of m§Ö.

    I feel his body heat through the soft fabric of his shirt. It calls to me. Pushing my need to the surface as my body demands to be locked down and taken in every possible way. It''s been so long, and I crave his touch.

    All thoughts flee when his hand squeezes my waist as he pushes us so close together that there isn''t any space left between us. My tits are smashed against his chest and even then, I know my nipples are erect.

    Gabriel leans down, and I surrender. I''m not thinking about anything except the fact that want him. Need him. Crave him.

    "Lunch is here!"

    The cheerful loud voice brings me out Gabriel''s spell and I jump away from him, my breathing hard and fast.

    Damn it. I almost sumbed to him again. How the hell does he always manage to get past my defenses?

    "Oh sorry, did I interrupt the beginning of a hot office sex scene?" Christopher says in a yful, mischievous voice.

    His eyes move between us and I try everything I can to hide my ming cheeks. Of all the people to catch us, it had to be Chris? He would never let me live it down.

    "Don''t worry, you can continue once you have more energy," he wiggles his eyebrows, a big smile stered on his face.

    "Get out the fuck out, Christopher!" Gabriel growls, though I don''t know if it''s out of anger or frustration. Or maybe both.

    "Sure," he singsongs. "I''ll give you some privacy. I know you can''t wait to have your wife all to yourself.. and don''t worry, I''ll make sure you aren''t disturbed for the next hour or so, Will that be enough or should I give you more time?"

    "Get out!"

    I hide my face in my hands while trying to block out the sound of Christopher''s ringingughter.

    Please kill me now.

    "That was so embarrassing."

    "Chris has the worst timing"

    Gabriel and I say at the same time. I lift my face and just stare at him, unable to believe that that''s what bothered him most. Sure, I know Chris isn''t a gossip, but to be caught red-handed like that is still mortifying.

    "Come, let''s eat" hismanding voice prates my thoughts.

    I hesitate. I was so hungry and the smell of food was making my stomach rumble, but I was also afraid that I would sumb to Gabriel''s strong sexual energy. I was hungry for food and sex. Thetter, which I haven''t had in two years.

    "I don''t bite, Harper" he teases in a dangerously sexy voice, right before he smirks. "Unless you want me to, that is."

    I swear, Gabriel is going to be the death of me.

    Slowly, I approach the couch before finally sitting down. Gabriel already had the boxes of food opened, and the food smelled divine.

    He hands me mine and I waste no time digging in. The first taste has me moaning in delight.

    "You are really making this hard for me, Harper," Gabriel groans beside me.

    I was confused. "What did I do?"

    "Your moan just went straight to my dick and got me thinking how those pink lips would feel wrapped around my cock."

    Was Gabriel trying to choke me?

    I cough, trying to dislodge the piece of chicken that had just gone down the wrong tube.

    He rubs and gently pounds my back when he realizes that I''m chocking. Tears fill my eyes and my throat burns as my body tries to correct my error.

    "Has no one told you never to talk about such things when others are eating?" I ask, when I''m

    back to normal.

    "It''s not my fault'' he whines, looking all innocent, but I know it''s a fa?ade.

    "Really?"

    "You''re the one that started it by moaning?"

    "Because the food is delicious, and plus it wasn''t even a conscious action."

    "It was a waste of a perfectly good moan. The kind of moan that just came out of your lips is better suited in the bedroom. That''s what I want to hear when I''m buried balls deep inside you, not when you''re eating, my dick is hard as a fucking rock and I can''t even take you."

    His voice was full of frustration and a kind of bitterness. I didn''t even know whether tough or be mad. Instead, I just take a deep breath, shake my head and go back to eating.

    As if sensing that I''ve had enough. That I am at my wits'' end. Gabriel shuts his mouth, and we eat in silence.

    Once we are done, I pick up the boxes and everything else and dump them in the trashcan. "Thanks for lunch, but I should get back to work." I face him, once I''d cleaned up everything. He nods his head, and I tum, heading for his door. Right before I step out, his voice stops me. "Before you go, you should know I''ll be taking you on my business trip," he says in a calm, casual manner.

    I turn sharply to face him.

    "What?"

    "We''ll be leaving on Sunday, so I just wanted to let you know beforehand."

    I was internally panicking, but keeping a calm and collected look on the outside. I don''t argue. Instead, I just nod my head before turning around to leave.

    It is just a business trip, and it''ll probably only be a few days. We''ll be busy, so there is no need to worry. Nothing can go wrong, right?

 Chapter 454

    ?Chapter 0454

    "Do you really have to go mom?" Lilly asks, her eyes shifting between me and the open suitcase on my bed.

    I hatedstst-minute rushes, but we have been so busy in the office thesest couple of days, that every time I went home, all I could think about was sleeping. I was dead tired on my feet and I had no energy to do anything but eat and sleep.

    "Yes," I tell her softly. "This is an important deal and your father has to be there to seal it."

    "I still don''t understand why I can''te with you? I want to see how daddy does it. How he closes a deal.''

    I fold thest piece of clothing, which is a blue silk blouse, before cing it inside with the rest of the clothes. Once that is done, I zip up my suitcase before dropping it on the floor.

    "You know you can''t," I answer her while sitting on the bed.

    "Why not?"

    "Because you are still a child. That''s why?"

    "I''m not a child, I''m almost ten."

    Rolling my eyes at the obvious lie, I pull her into my arms before kissing her soft cheeks.

    "We both know you are eight. Lilly. Nowhere near ten... And besides, children aren''t allowed for such things. It would be really unprofessional if your dad decided to bring you with us. Plus, there is the matter of school. We''ve already talked about this."

    She pouts, but her brows pull together and she bites her lip. She does this when she''s running things through her head and thinking.

    "But I want to visit Tokyo," she whines.

    I knew it. I just knew it. Lilly isn''t the kind of child to throw a tantrum. She rarely does. The fact that she wasmenting about not being able to apany us raised questions in my head. She wasn''t a needy child, so I knew being gone for a couple of days wouldn''t be a problem.

    She surprised me when she beganining the moment we told her that we would be traveling. For the past two days, she has pestered me, always asking why she can''te along.

    "How about this, when you are on school break, we can n a family trip to Tokyo?" Gabriel''s voice sounds from behind.

    We both turn to him. Lilly and I had been so lost in our conversation that none of us had heard hime in.

    "Really?" Lilly asks, her voice brimming with glee.

    "Sure." He replies, a huge smile aimed at her.

    With a scream of happiness, Lilly rushes to Gabriel, almost falling in the process, and hugs him. Well, hugs his waist given how tall he is.

    "Thank you daddy!" her voice is a bit muffled by the cotton of his clothes, but I can still hear her words.

    "Anything for you."

    Lilly lets go of her father and, with onest cry of happiness, she leaves the room. Probably to go and tell her nanny the good news.

    "You are spoiling her, Gabriel." I say with a small smile.

    He shrugs his shoulders as if it''s nothing. "And I don''t n on stopping it. Lilly, along with all the other kids you give me, will be spoiled."

    Stunned. Shocked. Surprised.

    "Did you just-" I couldn''t even finish the sentence.

    Oh my god. He just insinuated that we were going to have more kids. That I''ll give him more kids. That this marriage isn''t ending any time soon.

    Was he delusional? But then, I''vee to realize that Gabriel goes a little crazy when he wants something.

    "Yes" he smirks. "Now, are you done packing?"

    My mind is still fried, but I manage to nod my head.

    Gabriel has managed to surprise me at every turn. The more days I spend as his wife, the more I see a different side to him. I always thought that he was a cold and selfish bastard. In my head, I thought he was the devil incarnate. Now, though, I''ve gotten to see a side of him that I never saw, and it''s shing with what I always believed to be true.

    Slowly by slowly, the surrounding walls have started tumbling down. Little by little he has started breaking through.

    It scares me, because it hasn''t even been that long since he walked back into my life. It scares me, because what if I fall again and he breaks me? It scares me, because he has this power over me, and I''m slowly finding it hard to resist him.

    Would it make me weak if I just gave in?

    I thought that I was over him. That I''d gotten rid of him in my heart. Being around him has taught me that I hadn''t done shit. All I did was to hide my feelings deep down. Somece I didn''t have to think about them or acknowledge them.

 Chapter 455

    ?Chapter 0455

    "Harper?" his voice calls me.

    "Oh, sorry, I got lost in thought for a moment." I shake my head to clear my mind. "Yes, I''m done packing."

    "Good, let''s go then."

    An hourter, we were seated in Gabriel''s private jet. This time though, I was apanying him to sign a business deal.

    "Everything okay? Do you need anything? I can get the hostess to bring you whatever you want." Gabriel says the moment his jet starts taking off

    See what I meant? He''s very attentive.

    Back when we were married, he wasn''t. I don''t think Gabriel ever did anything to make me happy. In fact, it was the opposite. He never cared about my needs or wants. He never cared if I wasfortable or not. He never cared if I was alive or not. He simply never cared about me.

    Things are different now, though, and that''s why I''m having a hard time. It''s like he''s my genie and my wish is hismand.

    "No, I''m okay. If I need something I''ll let the hostess know," I mumble.

    Nodding his head, he then pulls out hisptop.

    I lean back against the plush leather chair and settle morefortably. I didn''t want to think. I didn''t want to drive myself crazy with questions I had no answer to.

    It''s not that I hate him, I don''t. I forgave him a long time ago. The thing is, despite this, I still remember. My heart still remembers the pain. It takes a lot of energy to hate someone, that''s why, around a year after being divorced, I let go of the bitterness. I didn''t want it to taint me.

    I also didn''t want to feel the pain. I didn''t want to remember the heartache, so I tried burying all of them. I tried numbing myself. Lilly was an exact replica of her father. That was hard enough without me holding on to what he did to me.

    Slowly by slowly, I started to think less of him. I got so used to pushing away thoughts of him and the pain that I became numb. For a long time, he didn''t exist in my world. Not until he showed up on my doorstep.

    He started to unravel the fa?ade I stered on. He started to destroy the walls I had around myself. With that, came the resurgence of the feelings I had tried to bury long ago.

    Like I said, I don''t hate Gabriel. I don''t think I ever could. My hesitancyes from the remnants of the pain he caused me. The echoes of the hurt he inflicted. The phantoms of a long-ago pain. Phantoms that wam me to tread carefully.

    I shake my head and look outside. Damn it, I needed to get a grip, but I feel myself drowning in him the more time we spend together.

    I turn back and study his profile, only to find him staring at me, hisptop off.

    "Have you ever been in love?" I ask out of the blue.

    I don''t know why, but it''s something I''ve always wondered about.

    Something shes in his eyes, but it''s gone before I can read. He closes hisptop, but lets it stay on hisp. Then he gets morefortable before facing me.

    "Nobody knows this, but yes," he says in a weak, deep voice.

    Well, that was news to me. In my head, I always assumed that he''d never been in love. For as long as I can remember, Gabriel was a yboy. Always had different women every time. He even said in an interview once that he''d never allow himself to be tied to only one woman. It''s surprising to know he''s been in love before.

    "Really?" I turn fully to him, eager to hear about the woman that managed to catch Gabriel''s heart.

    "Yeah. It was before we got married, in my second year of university. She was the most beautiful girl I''ve ever seen, and I remember thinking that I had to have her. It was what women love to call ''love at first sight. I''d never really felt anything like that before, never gotten in a rtionship and never pursued any girl before. She made me want to change that. She made me want to settle andmit to her. With her, sex wasn''t even a priority, I just wanted her."

    A pang hits me straight to the heart. I feel jealous and a little hurt and I hate that. I hate that this girl, whoever she is, got Gabriel in a way I never did being his wife.

    "Shebined everything I liked in a woman. Sexy, smart, beautiful, and funny. With her, I could be free. I could let go and just be myself. We started out as friends and around four monthster I finally convinced her to give me a chance and take her on a date. The day she agreed was the happiest. I couldn''t believe that I''dnded such an amazing girl."

 Chapter 456

    Isn''t love beautiful? But I sensed that something happened. Something changed. If everything was okay, he should be with her right now. He never would have married me.

    His voice is hoarse as he continues. ¡° Everything was perfect. She was just amazing and every day I continued to fall more and more in love with her. I had yet to introduce her to Rowan because I wanted her to myself. I wasn¡¯t hiding her, but I wanted more time with her before she met my family. Every day I woke up thinking of how lucky I was to find someone like her. You know our world, Harper, and you know finding a love match isn¡¯t easy.¡±

    That¡¯s just how our society works. It¡¯s hard finding someone who truly loves you. Some of the marriages in our society are business deals and few are founded on love and respect. Then there are the gold diggers. Marriages based on what you can get from your rich partners. I think those are the majority.

    ¡°I was so in love I could barely see or - think straight. She¡¯d managed to get me to clean up my act because I didn¡¯t want to hurt her. I didn¡¯t want to break her heart. My eyes were on her alone and no one other girl even registered in my head. That¡¯s how deep I was in¡± he pauses, catching his breath before continuing.

    ¡°We had been dating for around seven months and everything was going so well I thought it was a fucking dream.

    This one day, I''d talked to Rowan and my parents and told them I''d be inviting someone to our weekend lunch. They agreed. I was so fucking excited because I''d been dying to introduce her to my family.¡± His voice catches, and I see the shadows in those eyes. This was going to be bad, I just knew it in my heart.

    ¡°We weren''t supposed to meet thatday, but I didn¡¯t think it would be a problem. She didn¡¯t live on campus, so I went to her apartment. With my excitement, I forgot to tell her that I was stopping by, but looking at it now, "Iseeit as a blessing in disguise. I had a key to her apartment, so I let myself in. She destroyed me that day.¡± Rubbing my chest, I push the ufortable feeling in my heart.

    ¡°What happened, Gabriel? What did she do?¡± I push, urging him to continue.

    ¡°The moans from the bedroom were the first hint that something was wrong. I remember walking numbly to the door. It wasn¡¯tpletely close. It had a gap wide enough to see my girlfriend riding some bastard. I just stood there shocked and unable to move. I was in denial at first, until they finished. She got off him andid down on his chest, in the same exact way she did with me after we fucked.¡±

    I can¡¯t stop the gasp that leaves mylips. Like damn! Why would anyone cheat on Gabriel? She had him in her palm. Why would she destroy that? ~ ¡°I managed to get my legs moving, and I would have left, but the moron''s words stopped me.¡± He takes a deep breath. ¡°He asked her why she was with me when he¡¯s the one she loves.

    She justughed and told him that she liked the things I did and bought for her. She said she was in it for the money and connections, and it had been so easy to fool me into thinking she was my dream girl. That she was different from the rest. She then promised that she¡¯d break up with me once they got everything they wanted from my family.¡±

    What an utter bitch. It is despicable the lengths people will go to get what they want. Why y with someone¡¯s heart like that? Why y with their emotions? I will never understand how anyone can be so cruel.

    ¡°I''m really sorry about that, Gabriel¡± without thinking, I grasp his hand and squeeze. ¡°You didn¡¯t deserve that when all you did was love her.

    I honestly can''t even imagine the pain he went through. The heartbreak he felt hearing the girl he loved confessing those brutal words to another man. It was devastating, and now I see how that day might have shaped him into the unfeeling man he became.

    ¡°Iknow, but I learned my lesson. A lesson that has stuck for so many years¡± he says, pulling my thoughts back to him, and giving me a small smile. One That does nothing to hide the echoes of pain that girl caused him.

 Chapter 457

    The jetes to a halt on the runway.

    Gabriel¡¯s hand stops me from jerking forward when the nends.

    ¡°You good?¡± he asks, his eyes searching mine.

    ¡°Yeah¡± After Gabriel told me about the girl he fell in love with, nothing much happened after. He was carrying scars that still haunted him. Scars that had tainted him.

    I could see it in his eyes after he told me everything. He didn¡¯t want to talk anymore. He had revealed something about himself that no one else knew.

    Not even his twin brother.

    I didn¡¯t push him to talk more about it.

    I didn¡¯t demand he tell me what happened after he found out the truth or what happened to the girl. He felt vulnerable, and I understood that he needed time to get himself together, so I gave him space.

    Ispent half of the time reading, and the other half sleeping. He was still attentive even when he was pulling away from me. He would regrly ask if I wasfortable or needed anything.

    His hands on my belly, pulls me from my thoughts. I look down, only to realize that he was undoing my seat belt.

    ¡°You do realize I can do that myself?¡± I try to push his hands away, but he doesn¡¯t budge.

    ¡°Yes, but I can¡¯t pass up any opportunity to touch you,¡± he drawls.

    Hiszy grin tells me all I need to know. Gabriel had pulled himself together, and he was now back to normal.

    Once he¡¯s done, he stands up before gently grabbing my hand and pulling me up. For a moment my legs wobble. Itch on his bicep to stop myself from odfalling given my legs had gone to sleep.

    He seems to understand and just lets me hold on to him. After a few minutes, blood starts circting normally, and I¡¯m able to move.

    ¡°Thanks¡± I whisper, not really knowing what else to say.

    He doesn¡¯t say anything, just gives me a small jerk of the head. He guides us outside, and after going through clearance, we get inside a waiting car.

    ¡°Have you even ever used a normal car before?¡± I ask eyeing the vehicle before us, before climbing in.

    I wasn¡¯t sure what kind of car this was, but it screamed luxury just like all the other cars that Gabriel uses.

    ¡°This is a normal car, Harper?¡± he teases, his lip turned up on one side.

    ¡°No, it¡¯s not. This is a luxury car.¡± ¡°Which equals normal car.¡± I want so badly to correct him, but Iknow we''ll end up arguing. I doubt Gabriel has ever been in a bus or taxi.

    Nothing but the best for him.

    ¡°So where are we staying?¡± I ask after awhile.

    He shrugs. ¡°I don¡¯t know. Christopher arranged everything.¡± If he wasn¡¯t bothered, then I wouldn''t be. Chris is efficient, so he probably booked something nice.

    Yawning, I lean back against the leather seat. I had slept during the flight, but I was still tired. Maybe it had to do with the fact that I haven¡¯t been getting enough sleep these past few days.

    We remain silent for the rest of the ride. It was afortable kind of silence. One where no one felt the need to fill it with awkward chatter.

    When we get to the hotel, I look at the building and just smile. Nothing but the best for Gabriel. Just like with everything else in his life, the building screamed luxury and opulence.

    Just by looking at it, you would know it was a five-star hotel that cost a tooth and a nail to stay at. Whoever owns it, ~ knew the specific ss he was targeting.

    As the concierge handled our bags, Gabriel guided me to the front desk with his hand on my lower back.

    ¡°Hello sir, how can I be of assistance?¡± thedy manning the desk asks.

    ¡°Booking under Mr. and Mrs. Wood¡± he replies, his hand still firmly fixed on my back.

    ¡°Sure, let me just check¡± she turns to herputer for a few minutes before her eyese back to us. ¡°Right, penthouse suite... Top floor, room number 201.¡± With a nod, Gabriel takes our keys and leads us to the elevators. We get in, he presses the necessary button, and we begin to ascend.

 Chapter 458

    Minutester, we are outside our suite and a sense of anticipation suddenly grips me. Gabriel unlocks the door and pushes it open.

    The foyer wees us with polished marble floors that gleams under the soft light of an exquisite chandelier, casting intricate patterns on the walls.

    An expansive living area unfolds, adorned with plush furnishings and floor-to-ceiling windows that framea breathtaking cityscape, shimmering like a sea of stars.

    A state-of-the-art entertainment system promised cozy evenings, while the gourmet kitchen beckoned with gleaming stainless-steel appliances and a spacious ind perfect for culinary adventures. A stylish dining area exuded warmth, setting the stage for intimate gatherings.

    ¡°Itake it that you like it?¡± Gabriel asks in a teasing tone.

    Tjustnod my head. Like I said, we were rich, and we used to stay at good hotels, but this is on another level.

    This is luxury at its best.

    My eyes continue drinking the room, but then I freeze in my tracks when realization hits me.

    ¡°Gabriel, where is my room? I can only see one bedroom¡± I stutter, my eyes shifting nervously from the bedroom to my husband.

    ¡°Hmm, I guess we will be sharing,¡± he says with a shrug like it¡¯s nothing. + didn¡¯t think to tell Christopher to book different rooms.¡± Blood drains from my face. Share a bedroom with Gabriel? That is a recipe for disaster.

    ¡°Not going to happen,¡± I unfreeze and start pacing. ¡°Call downstairs and ask them to give us a suite with two bedrooms or get me my own room.

    Why would Chris book this suite?¡±

    ¡°We are married, Harper? Why wouldhe think of booking a two-bedroom suite? Besides, it¡¯s not a big deal. The bed is big enough to sleep five people.

    You''ll have enough space.¡± ~ I continue shaking my head, refusing to hear him out. He is right though. We are married. Of course, everyone else would expect us to share a room and a bed. Chris included.

    ¡°Just call them!¡± I demand.

    Gabriel probably thought I was being unreasonable. He probably thought it wasn¡¯t a big deal, and it wasn¡¯t. The problem, though, is that I¡¯m afraid.

    Afraid that sleeping with him on the same bed, having him so close for the next few days willpletely shatter my self-control, making me give in to my desire to have him.

    ¡°You are being unreasonable, Harper,¡± his voice had an edge of frustration in it.

    I know I was, but I couldn¡¯t risk sharing a bed with him.

    ¡°Just call them!¡± Releasing a breath, he walks to the console table, picks up the phone and calls downstairs.

    ¡°What did they say?¡± I ask once he¡¯s done talking and he hangs up.

    ¡°There are no avable rooms. They''re fully booked,¡± he mutters, before dismissing the entire conversation about rooms. ¡°Now, are you going to shower first, or should I?¡± Once again, Gabriel acted like he wasn¡¯t bothered, while I was dyingon the inside. How could he not see that this is a terrible idea? That sleeping in the same bed is a disaster waiting to happen.

    I want to argue. To force issues... but looking at Gabriel with his wide stance and arms crossed along his chest, I know he wouldn¡¯t budge. He was already done and finished with the matter.

    ¡°Fine, I''ll shower first,¡± I give in,throwing my hands in the air.

    Our luggage had arrived while he was on call. I grab my suitcase and drag it inside the bedroom.

    Ignoring the king-sized bed, I open my suitcase, get all I need before entering the ensuite bathroom that resembles a spa,plete with a soaking tub.

    The entire shower, I can''t help but think of what theseing days would bring. I knew it would spell trouble the moment Gabriel told me about the trip.

    I should have fought harder, but I didn¡¯t and that¡¯s on me.

    Each and every day, it was getting harder and harder to resist him.

    Especially when he was not pulling back any punches when it came to pursuing me. He stole touches every time he could and those small touches lit my body up like a motherfucking beacon.

    I want him, that¡¯s no secret, but should I allow myself to have him?

    Pushing those thoughts away, given that I had no answer to them, I finish my shower. After doing my skin care routine, putting on some lotion, I put on my nightgown and get out.

 Chapter 459

    rr h (# ] +15 BONUS Chapter 0459 ¡°Shower is free,¡± I inform Gabriel when I step into the living room.

    ¡°I ordered, so feel free to start eating without me¡± he walks past me and into the bedroom.

    It didn¡¯t feel right to eat without him, and I wasn¡¯t that hungry. Instead, I take my phone and just check my emails, going through what needed to be done tomorrow.

    I didn¡¯t have to wait long because less than ten minutester, Gabriel was striding out of the bedroom with a worn-out t-shirt and some sweatpants.

    ¡°You didn¡¯t start?¡± he questions with a raised eyebrow, eyeing the food.

    ¡°It didn¡¯t feel right to eat without you when you are the one that ordered for us.¡± He takes his seat, and begins

    () +15 BONUS uncovering the foods. After serving a small portion, I start eating. I was exhausted despite sleeping on the ne. I couldn¡¯t stop envisioning the bed. I''d been reluctant to sleep in it with Gabriel, but now I couldn¡¯t stop thinking about it. My body begged for sleep.

    ¡°So, have you ever been in love?¡± Gabriel''s question catches me off guard.

    I turn sharply, only to find his intense eyes on me. Swallowing, I will my mouth to work. This could only go two ways. I could either lie or tell the truth.

    I didn¡¯t want to lie since he had been truthful when I had asked him the same question. So, the truth is.

    ¡°Yes,¡± I murmur, unable to meet his eyes.

    ¡°Your former husband?¡± there was something in his voice, but I chose to ignore it.

    . take a deep breath, ¡°You, RE

    (wr ] +15 BONUS He''s shocked. Like really shocked. I guess he didn¡¯t expect that.

    ¡°Ve?¡± ¡°Yeah. I had a crush on you when I was younger. In high school, that crush turned into something more. I was content with loving you from afar because I knew I wasn¡¯t your type, and you¡¯d never give me the time of day.

    You were my dream and when Andrew told me we would be getting married, I thought that finally my dream wasing true. I thought I could get you to notice me. See me... And maybe fall in love with me.¡± ¡°Fuck!¡± He looks so devasted, that I actually feel bad for him. It¡¯s like someone had taken his favorite thing and destroyed it right before his eyes. He looks shattered.

    For some reason, I didn¡¯t like that look on him. N Q ¡°It was a long time ago. It was a silly

    () +15 BONUS girlish dream. I''m over it now,¡± I say, trying to make things easier for him.

    Of course I wasn¡¯t over, but he didn¡¯t need to know. I¡¯m not sure if my love for Gabriel is still there, but I do know I feel something. I¡¯m just not sure what it is.

    ¡°Fuck no! No, it¡¯s not okay. I know what I felt like watching Ashley with that bastard, yet I put you through the same kind of pain every time I cheated on you.¡± He was livid now. He seemed way beyond reason as his anger and dangerous energy filled the entire space between us.

    ¡°It was years ago, Gabriel,¡± I try again to tell him, but it¡¯s like nothing I say is getting through to him.

    His eyes pierce mine when he turns and holds my hand in his warm ones.

    ¡°I know it¡¯s long overdue, but I''m so fucking sorry Harper. I''m sorry for L cheating on you. I''m sorry for hurting

    you. I''m sorry for treating you like shit. I''m so fucking sorry for making your life miserable and unbearable.

    I''m sorry that I didn¡¯t see the treasure I had all because I was lost and miserable in my own world. I know I don¡¯t deserve your forgiveness, but I hope you ept it. I''m so sorry. More than you¡¯ll ever know.¡± ? I can¡¯t stop the tears that fall down my face. Seeing the sincerity in his eyes just makes me cry harder because this is what I¡¯ve always wanted. For him to acknowledge that he did me wrong and for him to apologize. : = u S SUPPORT k od

 Chapter 460

    (L) +15 BONUS Chapter 0460 The rest of dinner is silent. He did owe me an apology, but I didn¡¯t know what to say. If T am being honest, I never thought that Gabriel would ever apologize to me. So, to have him doing it and, while being sincere, has left me speechless.

    We finish dinner and call downstairs for them toe pick up the dishes.

    ¡°I''m going to sleep? Do you need anything before I do?¡± I ask once the dishes have been cleared and the hotel personnel had left our room.

    Deep inside I was panicking at having to share a room with Gabriel, but my jetg outweighed the anxiety.

    ¡°I¡¯m also headed to bed. I¡¯m fucking tired.¡± I stifle the surge in panic. I thought 1¡¯d sleep before him like I always do. That would give me the time I needed to " rx and rest before he joined me. 1¡¯d

    (_) +15 BONUS counted on being asleep by the time he decided to pop into bed.

    Gritting my teeth in irritation and frustration, I nod my head before ~ stomping to the bedroom.

    ¡°Which side do you prefer?¡± he asks, walking inside before stopping at the bed.

    ¡°I don¡¯t really have a preference. As long as I sleep, then it doesn¡¯t really matter.¡± ¡°Okay, then I''ll take the left. You take the right.¡± ¡°Fine¡± We switch sides and I push back the covers before getting in.

    ¡°What are you doing?¡± his voice stops what I am doing.

    ¡°Dividing the bed, clearly¡± I continue arranging the pillows down the middle of the bed. It¡¯s childish, sue me! I need a barrier between us and

    (_) +15 BONUS that¡¯s exactly what I''m getting.

    Once I am done, I settle morefortably on my side, breathing a sigh of relief.

    ¡°Is this really necessary, Harper?¡± he asks, his hands motioning to the bed and pillows.

    ¡°yes¡± ¡°And why is that?¡± ¡°Nothing. I just think we would both sleep better if everyone stayed on their side of the bed.¡± He chuckles. ¡°I call bullshit. I think you are afraid you¡¯ll end up in my arms before morning.¡± I scoff, ying it cool, acting like what he is saying is totally ridiculous. He¡¯s right, but there is no way I''ll ever admit it.

    ¡°It¡¯s not bullshit. It¡¯s the truth.¡± His lips twist in a devilish smirk.

    ? Sure, Harper, whatever makes you 4

    () +15 BONUS sleep peacefully at night.¡± He gets into bed and switches the light off. Minutester, I hear his deep breathing and I know he¡¯s asleep. Only then do I rx enough to fall asleep.

    kok The feel of a hand on me slowly brings my mind to consciousness. It¡¯s a battle as I try to fight the remnants of sleep and something else. Arousal.

    Sure, I''ve dreamed of Gabriel fucking me more times than I can count since we got married again, but this dream felt different. It felt so real. Almost like he was actually touching me.

    My eyes snap open when I realize that it isn''t a dream. A small gasp leaves my lips when I feel his hand on my chest.

    Gabriel had his hands on my breast and his fingers were pinching my very erect nipple, I¡¯m stunned and frozen at the same time because of how good his \ hands feel. I want to move. I want to 4

    push his hands away, but I can¡¯t. Not when his kneading feels so fucking good.

    I was on my side and he was spooning me. So close to me, that I felt his breath on the back of my neck. I try to wiggle, but I stop when I feel his unmistakable morning wood.

    I Is he still asleep? Is he aware of what he was doing? I don¡¯t know, and I don¡¯t want to turn and find out.

    His hands on my breast and his cock on my ass were rendering mepletely useless. It was hard to think, especially given that my brain had chosen this moment to remind me how good sex with Gabriel was, the one time we did.

    X COIN BUNDLE: get more free bonus 5 u

    (L) +15 BONUS Chapter 0460 The rest of dinner is silent. He did owe me an apology, but I didn¡¯t know what to say. If T am being honest, I never thought that Gabriel would ever apologize to me. So, to have him doing it and, while being sincere, has left me speechless.

    We finish dinner and call downstairs for them toe pick up the dishes.

    ¡°I''m going to sleep? Do you need anything before I do?¡± I ask once the dishes have been cleared and the hotel personnel had left our room.

    Deep inside I was panicking at having to share a room with Gabriel, but my jetg outweighed the anxiety.

    ¡°I¡¯m also headed to bed. I¡¯m fucking tired.¡± I stifle the surge in panic. I thought 1¡¯d sleep before him like I always do. That would give me the time I needed to " rx and rest before he joined me. 1¡¯d

    (_) +15 BONUS counted on being asleep by the time he decided to pop into bed.

    Gritting my teeth in irritation and frustration, I nod my head before ~ stomping to the bedroom.

    ¡°Which side do you prefer?¡± he asks, walking inside before stopping at the bed.

    ¡°I don¡¯t really have a preference. As long as I sleep, then it doesn¡¯t really matter.¡± ¡°Okay, then I''ll take the left. You take the right.¡± ¡°Fine¡± We switch sides and I push back the covers before getting in.

    ¡°What are you doing?¡± his voice stops what I am doing.

    ¡°Dividing the bed, clearly¡± I continue arranging the pillows down the middle of the bed. It¡¯s childish, sue me! I need a barrier between us and

    (_) +15 BONUS that¡¯s exactly what I''m getting.

    Once I am done, I settle morefortably on my side, breathing a sigh of relief.

    ¡°Is this really necessary, Harper?¡± he asks, his hands motioning to the bed and pillows.

    ¡°yes¡± ¡°And why is that?¡± ¡°Nothing. I just think we would both sleep better if everyone stayed on their side of the bed.¡± He chuckles. ¡°I call bullshit. I think you are afraid you¡¯ll end up in my arms before morning.¡± I scoff, ying it cool, acting like what he is saying is totally ridiculous. He¡¯s right, but there is no way I''ll ever admit it.

    ¡°It¡¯s not bullshit. It¡¯s the truth.¡± His lips twist in a devilish smirk.

    ? Sure, Harper, whatever makes you 4

    () +15 BONUS sleep peacefully at night.¡± He gets into bed and switches the light off. Minutester, I hear his deep breathing and I know he¡¯s asleep. Only then do I rx enough to fall asleep.

    kok The feel of a hand on me slowly brings my mind to consciousness. It¡¯s a battle as I try to fight the remnants of sleep and something else. Arousal.

    Sure, I''ve dreamed of Gabriel fucking me more times than I can count since we got married again, but this dream felt different. It felt so real. Almost like he was actually touching me.

    My eyes snap open when I realize that it isn''t a dream. A small gasp leaves my lips when I feel his hand on my chest.

    Gabriel had his hands on my breast and his fingers were pinching my very erect nipple, I¡¯m stunned and frozen at the same time because of how good his \ hands feel. I want to move. I want to 4

    push his hands away, but I can¡¯t. Not when his kneading feels so fucking good.

    I was on my side and he was spooning me. So close to me, that I felt his breath on the back of my neck. I try to wiggle, but I stop when I feel his unmistakable morning wood.

    I Is he still asleep? Is he aware of what he was doing? I don¡¯t know, and I don¡¯t want to turn and find out.

    His hands on my breast and his cock on my ass were rendering mepletely useless. It was hard to think, especially given that my brain had chosen this moment to remind me how good sex with Gabriel was, the one time we did.

    X COIN BUNDLE: get more free bonus 5 u

 Chapter 461

    () +15 BONUS Chapter 0461 Damn it. Just the thought of that night coupled with what was happening now was enough to get me wet. I squirm trying to getfortable and to stifle the ache between my legs. It doesn¡¯t help, in fact, it makes things worse as my ass is pushed further into Gabriel¡¯s groin.

    Gabriel releases a deep and sexy groan.

    One simr to the ones he made that night, every time he pounded into me.

    It travels straight to my clit, making me freeze in my attempt to getfortable.

    Twisting my head, I turn to him, hoping that he was still asleep. I am relieved when I find his eyes closed, but then I¡¯m struck by just how good - looking he is.

    He looked so peaceful asleep. His longshes fanned his cheeks and his lips were slightly parted. I suddenly got the urge to touch him and kiss him.

    4

    () +15 BONUS I was drowning in the man that had captured my heart years ago. The same man that was now asking me for things I never thought were possible.

    I was so lost in him, that I didn¡¯t realize what was happening until it was toote.

    A gasp leaves my lips when I feel his hands slicking through my wet folds. It takes me a while for me to realize that his hands had left my breast and were now inside my panties. My very wet panties.

    I need to stop this. To stop what he is doing... but it feels so fucking good to have him there that I don¡¯t want him to stop. My indecisiveness gives his hands enough time to slip past my clit and push a finger inside me.

    I bite my lips to stop myself from moaning. Damn it. I was aching and this felt too good. It¡¯s been two years and the only action I''ve gotten is either from my own hands or my B.O.B.

    (#] +15 BONUS My eyes fall close as I drown in the feeling of his finger pumping in and out of me. It¡¯s intense. It¡¯s exhrating. It¡¯s what I need. He adds another finger and this time I can¡¯t stop the moan that slips. It feels so good, but IT know it would feel even better if it were his cock and not his finger. I ¡°Hmm, already wet for me, I see,¡± his voice deep freezes.

    No. No. No. He wasn¡¯t supposed to be awake. He wasn¡¯t supposed to know just how wet I was.

    Feeling embarrassed, I literally rip his hands from inside my panties, then get out of bed, fleeing the crime scene.

    I almost fall in the process, but it doesn¡¯t matter. Not when I was mortified.

    Thest thing I see before I shut the door to the bathroom, is Gabriel licking the finger that was still slick with my arousal.

    be I move to the sink. Grabbing on the ~~ 4

    gi (_) +15 BONUS edge for support, I just stare at myself in the mirror. I look like a dear caught in headlights. I was shaking and trembling, and still so fucking aroused that my vagina ached.

    Oh god! What he must be thinking of me! Is the fact that he was asleep taking advantage of him? Was it the same thing? Because he had been asleep when he was touching me. 2 Shit! How am I supposed to face him after this? He is my husband, but it still feels weird.

    I needed to cool off. To stem my arousal. To get it under control so that I can at least think straight. With that thought in my mind, I jump into the shower, deciding to take a cold one.

    By the time I am done, I feel more in control of my body. Maybe it was time to start using my dildo. I haven¡¯t used it since I came back. It wouldn¡¯t do much, but maybe it can keep the hunger away.

    Getting out, I avoid Gabriel¡¯s stare as he takes his turn in the bathroom. I get clothed quickly, do my make-up and leave the bedroom before he finishes his shower.

    = 4) iu S SUPPORT ARREST

 Chapter 462

    +15 BONUS Chapter 0462 Call me a coward, I didn¡¯t care, but I just don¡¯t know how to face him.

    When I get to the living room, I call and order for breakfast to be brought to our room before sitting down to wait.

    I knew this was a disaster waiting to happen when Gabriel said we would share a room. I thought the pillows would help, but I was just fooling myself. It didn¡¯t help shit.

    There is a knock on the door and I cross the room to open it.

    ¡°Good morning, Madam¡± a waitress greets, with a smile on her face.

    ¡°Good morning¡± ¡°Where should I ce this?¡± she asks as I step sideways to let her in.

    ¡°On the dining table is fine¡± I answer her.

    She nods her head and heads towards _

    +15 BONUS it. She had just set down our breakfast and was leaving, when Gabriel walks out of the bedroom while buttoning his shirt.

    Her steps tter, and she almost stumbles when her eyes catch him.

    Gabriel is a fine specimen, so I don¡¯t really me her. - ¡°Thank you,¡± I say when I realize that her eyes were still on Gabriel, whose eyes were on me.

    My voice pulls her from her stupor.

    She nods her head before leaving. Once she¡¯s gone, I close the door behind her.

    ¡°So, you are going to pretend nothing happened this morning?¡± Gabriel asks, when I move past him, take my seat and serve myself some breakfast.

    yeas? Couldn¡¯t he just let this go? It was already embarrassing enough without him having to add to it by wanting to discuss it.

    +15 BONUS ¡°Why?¡± he demands,ing to stand next to my chair.

    ¡°Because it¡¯s embarrassing. You were asleep. You didn¡¯t know what you were doing.¡± ¡°Yet, I know that we both enjoyed it. I was awake the moment I pushed that finger inside you and I felt your walls clench around it. You had your eyes closed, so you didn¡¯t know I was watching you. You liked what I did, and I enjoyed watching you enjoy the pleasure I was giving you.¡± I I couldn¡¯t lie, so I keep quiet. He is right. I loved it a lot. But knowing it and telling him were twopletely different things.

    ¡°Can we not talk about this now?¡± I plead, already feeling like I was at my wits'' end.

    The day had barely begun, and I was already fed up with it.

    ¡°Fine, but this isn¡¯t over¡± he warns, his eyes boring into mine. Holding me

    I +15 BONUS captive.

    Taking the seat right next to me, he begins serving himself. We eat in silence, each of us lost in thought.

    When we are done, we finish getting ready so we can start the day.

    ¡°Are you ready? Our driver will be here in the next three minutes to take us to Brion Corp,¡± Gabriel tells me, just as I was finishing up organizing the files.

    ¡°Ready.¡± ¡°Let¡¯s go then.¡± He grabs the files while I grab my bag.

    We leave and a few minutester we are in another fancy car.

    ¡°Do you need me to take care of anything while you are inside?" I ask once we get to thepany we will be partnering with, if all goes well.

    ¡°You¡¯ll be with me inside, taking notes¡± ¡°Bu-But¡± I stammer the words. ¡°This

    oY {_) +15 BONUS is an important deal. Shouldn¡¯t I wait outside?¡± ¡°you are my wife; you won''t stay outside... And besides, how do you expect to learn negotiations skills if you don¡¯t watch me in action?¡± He doesn¡¯t give me the chance to answer, instead he pulls me inside the boardroom.

    ¡°Gentlemen, this is my wife. She¡¯ll be sitting in on this one,¡± Gabriel announces, his voice so full of authority.

    None of the six men seated around the table say anything... but then again, what could they say? His tone brooked no room for argument. I ¡°Hello¡± I greet, shyly, feeling a bit tense that every pair of eyes was me.

    A chorus of hellos goes around the room.

    He pulls a chair out for me and helps me sit down, before taking the one wy

    PRC ki By NUNES ddr? a Ad I next to me.

 Chapter 463

    Chapter 0463 ¡°I heard you got married, but I didn¡¯t know your wife was a beauty.¡± One of the partners says after the meeting, while we were gathering our things. ¡°I wish I had spotted her first.¡± He didn¡¯t look that much older than Gabriel. Maybe in his mid orte thirties. I couldn¡¯t be sure.

    His eyes raked down my body, making me feel exposed and ufortable. I shift to get closer to Gabriel, hating his eyes aN i I was married for goodness¡¯s sake and my husband was sitting ri ght next toy me. How could he be so bold ? It was i disgusting. i i i ou i ¡°If you don¡¯t stop undressing my wife, i Yishiro, I¡¯m going to pluck your eyes out with a fucking teaspoon, blend them into slush and force them down your fucking throat,¡± Gabriel warns in a threatening tone that sends shivers down my back.

    Yishiro swallows, his face a mask of fear at Gabriel¡¯s threat.

    I know it shouldn¡¯t be a turn on, but re .

    the fact that Gabriel is being possessive of me, is huge fucking turn on. Iloveit.

    I ¡°My apologies¡± Yishiro whisper, his eyes not meeting mine or Gabriel''s.

    Gabriel scoffs, but doesn¡¯t ept the apology, and neither do 1. / ¡°Let¡¯s begin,¡± a man, I¡¯m assuming is 1h ned 1 the CEO, given he is sitting in the head chair, says, clearing the awkward atmosphere. Hi i The meeting starts and even though they talk so much about numbers that they begin swimming in my head like weed on water, I have to admit that it¡¯s still interesting.

    Seeing all these men, each one powerful in their own right, discuss and negotiate is something awe- inducing,

    iid I Among all seven of them, Gabriel is my favorite one. Not because he¡¯s my husband, but because he is an alpha through and through. The way hemanded the room, the way he took charge, the way he controlled the room.

    Everything about him just screamed dominance. He didn¡¯t tter in his wants. He didn¡¯t negotiate. He didn¡¯t try to amodate like the rest. He knew what he wanted and that was what he was going to get. He wasn¡¯t afraid of walking away from this I opportunity if the deal didn¡¯t meet his It was amazing seeing him in action, fi and the whole thing ju st increased my attraction towards him. aii i i By the end of the meeting, they hadn¡¯t reached an agreement, since Gabriel refused topromise (Like I said, he knew what he wanted, and he wasn¡¯t going to downgrade), but they did agree to have another discussion.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry about Yishiro¡¯s behavior or

    earlier,¡± Gabriel tells me when we are left in the boardroom alone.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s not, it was disrespectful,¡± he ground out, still clearly pissed.

    Before I can move, his hand encircles me. I feel every hard ridge of his body as he brings me flush against his body.

    ¡°I''ve already forgotten about him. You put him in his ce,¡± I whisper, but it¡¯s like he can no longer hear me.

    His other hand skims along my lips, ) making it hard for me to focus even as his eyes be firmly fixed on my mouth, I ER a) Of I) ¡°Gabriel...¡± T didn¡¯t even know what I wanted to stay Ll f II I His head descends, and I know what he¡¯s about to do. As much as I want him to, I couldn¡¯t let it happen.

    With all the strength I could master, I push him, before stepping out of his

    arms. He seems disappointed, but quickly recovers. Pushing that look away and recing it with a small smile.

    ¡°You''re fighting what you feel for me, Harper. Whatever it is you''re feeling, you are fighting it and I understand why, but I''ll tell you this, I¡¯ m not giving up anytime soon. I''ll wear down your walls and make you fall for me once again, just like I''m clearly falling for you.¡±

 Chapter 464

    Chapter 0464 "Just like I''m clearly falling for you Gabriel''s words keep ying like a loop in my head over and over again for the rest of the day. We had back-to- back meetings with different investors, yet I couldn¡¯t focus on anything except those seven words.

    As you have probably guessed, I am an overthinker. I overanalyze and overthink everything until it drives me to the edge of insanity. That¡¯s what I''ve been doing the whole fucking day.

    What did those words mean? Is it actually possible that he¡¯s falling for me? What if it¡¯s a trick? What if he¡¯s ying me? Should I trust what he¡¯s saying? And if it¡¯s true, and he means those words, what am I going to do? What should I do? I want so badly to ask him, but I don¡¯t want to seem eager or desperate.

    I was right after all, agreeing to be i"

    I I Gabriel''s wife once again, was messing meup.

    I ? k oN : : z You okay?¡± he questions, his worried nce flittering through my face.

    ¡°Yes¡± I whisper, trying to push those thoughts away.

    It did no good to keep thinking about them. I would just end up with a migraine, something I didn¡¯t need.

    ¡°We can stay in if you prefer. We don¡¯t have to go down.¡± I muster a small smile andpose myself. ¡°No, it¡¯s okay.¡± It was now evening and Gabriel was taking me out to dinner. Technically, we were going downstairs for dinner, but that didn¡¯t matter.

    Taking my hand, we leave our room and get into the elevator.

    Unlike our first date, I didn¡¯t go all out dressing up today. I was in a simple ck dress, heels and subtle makeup. 7

    Fra spent the whole day overthinking so much that when evening came, 1 didn¡¯t have the energy to spend hours getting ready.

    At this point, I just want my mind to stop. To stop spinning. To stop thinking. To stop running. I just want it to simply stop and let me rx. I didn¡¯t have the answers and that was okay. All I need is to take one day at a time without obsessing over everything Gabriel did or said.

    When we get to the restaurant, the ce is already buzzing with life. Soft music yed above the chatter of the other diners. Everyone seemed to be in a good mood, as we passed rows of tables.

    ¡°This looks nice,¡± I say, once we were seated in a private corner booth.

    Gabriel raises a brow, but doesn¡¯t say anything. Just stares at me in that intense way he does. I shift ufortably under his gaze, trying to avoid his heated nce. a

    ~ I¡¯m saved when a waiter approaches our table.

    He bows slightly before saying, ¡°Sir, madam, some wine?¡± ¡°Yes please,¡± I answer, and he pours some into my ss.

    The first taste hits my tongue, and it¡¯s like tasting heaven. It tasted better than the cheap wines I was used to.

    Then again, what did I expect? A hotel like this one wouldn''t go for cheap wine. They probably only serve wines costing thousands of dors.

    This is exactly what I need to rx. To unwind and think about nothing for the next couple of hours.

    ¡°Tell me about your former husband.¡± Gabriel¡¯s request catches me by surprise. Of all the topics I thought we would discuss during dinner, Liam wasn¡¯t one of them, Swallowing the wine that goes smoothly down my throat, I turn, fully w

    I attention.

    ¡°What do you want to know?¡± ¡°Did you love him?¡± his jaw is clenched, and it seems like the words were forcefully pulled out of his mouth.

    I don¡¯t answer immediately. Instead, I lift my ss and take another sip.

    Tilting my head, I stare into his eyes.

    Is that jealousy I was seeing? Could Gabriel be jealous at the idea that I¡¯d been in love with Liam? Smiling, I finally answer. ¡°No. I loved him, but I wasn¡¯t in love with him.¡± He leans forward, confusion recing the jealousy that had been there seconds ago. I ¡°I don¡¯t get it¡± he says. ¡°Why marry him then? Did he know you didn¡¯t love him?¡± ¡°Yeah. My heart was already imed and so was his. We married because I "

    I was pregnant and alone with no idea I how I was going to survive with a baby on the way. I had nothing, and he¡¯d been the first friend I made when I moved. We enjoyed each other¡¯spany and werefortable around each other. He¡¯s the one that came up with the idea of getting married.¡± Liam loved his ex and he never saw himself falling in love again. He was lonely, but he didn¡¯t want the hustle of dating. He also didn¡¯t want anyone recing the girl he had loved and lost.

    We started out as friends with benefits.

    Well, sort of. Like I said, he was lonely and he was a man. He needed sex. Only he didn¡¯t want to bang just anyone.

    My pregnancy hormones were driving me crazy and even though I craved sex, we never crossed that line while I was pregnant with Lilly. It felt wrong having sex with Liam while carrying Gabriel¡¯s child. We did other things though, and after my six-week checkup post giving birth, we had sex for the first time. That¡¯s when he I

    Thinking back at that, I can¡¯t help butugh.

    ¡°What''s so funny?¡± Gabriel asks, just as he moves from his side of the table to mine. We are now seated side by side.

    My eyebrows rise in question at his unexpected action. He doesn¡¯t say anything, so I shrug and answer his question.

    ¡°I just realized that my marriage with Liam was also a marriage of convenience. We married because we wanted the convenience ofpanionship, friendship and sex without having to risk the heartbreak thates with being in love.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t like the mention of you, another man and sex in the same sentence.¡± Gabriel growls, his voice turning angry.

    Sneering, I take another sip. ¡°Please, you have probably slept with more w

    than half the women back at home, but ~ you don¡¯t see me getting angry about it, do you?¡± ¡°Did you ever fall in love with him in the course of your marriage?¡± he all but demands, while ignoring my jab.

    ¡°No. Like I said, I loved Liam and I will always love him, but I wasn¡¯t in love with him.¡± IT answer. ¡°Now, what¡¯s with questions? Why are you so interested in whether I was in love with Liam?¡± ¡°Because, I need to know if someone else managed to im your heart. I need to know whether I have a chance at iming your love once again.¡± His hand grab the back of my neck and he leans forward. Maybe it¡¯s the wine, and maybe it isn¡¯t. However, this time when he kisses me, I don¡¯t fight, because I am tired of holding back.

 Chapter 465

    (#] +15 BONUS Chapter 0465 I move to the beat of music feeling all my fears wash away. Honestly, I have never been to a club before. Never attended any party that didn¡¯t include my parents work parties. This is a first for me.

    My parents weren''t strict, but I didn¡¯t have friends and I was so introverted that no one in school new I existed. I didn¡¯t get invited to parties simply because I kept so much to myself, I was probably invisible.

    It felt good to drink and just unwind.

    Today is ourst day in Tokyo and I everything had gone smoothly. Gabriel had managed to get them to agree to his terms of the deal.

    We were here, in this posh club because on of the investors had wanted to celebrate this deal, which by the way is a huge deal that will bring billions to the Wood corporation.

    I I continue swaying to the music, my 4

    (+15 BONUS eyes closed and hands in the air. Why have I never done this before? Oh right, I got married at eighteen, stayed married for three years, got pregnant, got divorced, gave birth, got married again, raised a baby, be a widow, then got married a third time.

    Sheesh, looking at my life now, I realize that it has been nothing but a roller coaster. I didn¡¯t have time to breathe, let alone enjoy myself and go out clubbing and dancing.

    I feel someone behind and it takes me just a second to know it isn¡¯t Gabriel.

    My body knows his.

    My eyes snap open and I stop moving.

    This, being approached by a man from behind, while he presses his body against mine, is also new.

    ¡°Hey baby, mind getting out of here for some after fun?¡± his hand on my waist is all wrong, so is his voice, and everything about him.

    ¡°No,¡± 1 simply say. ?

    ¡°Come on, you were swaying like a seductress, it¡¯s obvious you wanted my attention,¡± his hands started to move down to my hips, which made me want to barf.

    ¡°I said, no... don¡¯t you understand English?¡± this time I turn and step away from him.

    The guy looks one second away from face nting on the floor. He is way beyond drunk and I¡¯m not even sure he knows what he is doing.

    I move, about to turn and head backto our table when he grabs my wrist in a tip grip.

    ¡°Let go of me,¡± I hiss, when I try to shove his hand, but he doesn¡¯t budge.

    ¡°Come on baby, I promise to give you a good time,¡± he leans in and I again I try to push him away but it does nothing.

    How was he strong even when drunk? Before he can get his disgusting lips on 4

    me, he is ripped away. I heave a sigh of relief, not even feeling bad when he stumbles and falls on the ground.

    I look up to thank the stranger, only to find a very pissed off Gabriel ring at the man.

    ¡°Do you want to die?¡± he asks him in a threatening tone. One that would have anyone peeing on themselves.

    ¡°What¡¯s your problem?¡± the very drunk and idiotic guy asks while standing up. ¡°I saw her, first¡± - This seems to push Gabriel over the edge, because he swings his fist and gives the guy a solid blow. One that has him crashing back on the ground again. This time, he doesn¡¯t get back up.

    ¡°I think you killed him,¡± my drunk mind, starts panicking.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, he¡¯s probably cold,¡± he takes my hand and pulls me to his side.

    When themotion started, no one y

    did a thing. Probably because everyone was drunk. Now, even the music had stopped and other clubbers were staring at us.

    ¡°We are leaving, I think you¡¯ve had enough for today.¡± He says as he pulls me away from the dance floor.

    ¡°We can¡¯t just leave him there?¡± I use my free hand to point at the man still lying on the floor.

    ¡°Watch me,¡± were his only words, before hepletely pulled me out of the dance floor.

    He nods at the bouncer, who gives him a respectful bow. After all, this is the investor''s club and he had introduced Gabriel as his special guest. Besides, who doesn¡¯t know Gabriel Wood? The driver who had dropped us was waiting, so we get in and he drives off.

    Around forty minutester, we were walking into our hotel suite, and into our bedroom.

    " Bh

 Chapter 466

    I Chapter 0466 Gabriel¡¯s mouth is on me the second the door closes behind us. His Kiss is hard and almost punishing.

    ¡°No, one touches what¡¯s mine, and make no mistake you are mine, Harper,¡± he growls, his voice thick with anger.

    ¡°I was just dancing when he came up tome,¡± I defend myself, ¡°I tried to walk away but he grabbed me.¡± Things between me and Gabriel have been tensed the past few days. Tense, not because things were bad, but because they were really good. Nothing else happened after dinner that night.

    We ate, drank, and talked. That kiss though had been the highlight of night.

    There have been many more kissed between us since then. Kisses that leave me wanting so much more. His kisses have be my addiction. It¡¯s insane, I know, but I can¡¯t resist them.

    b The moment he takes my lips, I melt 4

    I into goo.

    It¡¯s been four days since the dinner, I stopped putting pillows between us on the third night. It was useless anyway since I end up in his arms either way.

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter,¡± his voice pulls me back to reality. ¡°No other man as allowed to touch you.¡± ¡°Is that so? And does the same apply to you? Is no other woman allowed to touch?¡± I run my finger down chest, as my eyes stared directly into his.

    ¡°The moment you came back into my life, other woman lost their appeal.

    You are the only woman that can touch me now, Harper, because your touch is the only one I can stomach.¡± Gabriel had a way with words. Words that were giving me damn butterflies.

    Without really thinking about it, I rise on my tiptoes and seal our mouths. His hands automatically wrap around my waist, bringing me flush against his body. I wanted him so badly, it hurts. 4

    ¡°How drunk are you?¡± he asks, pulling away.

    We were both panting, trying to catch our breathes. His cock is pressed against my stomach, and trust me, he is rock hard.

    ¡°I had four screaming orgasms,¡± I reply ¡°How fitting because right now, all I want is to give you an orgasm. One that will have you screaming my fucking name.¡± My brain short-circuits. I do understand what he¡¯s saying.

    I step away from him, putting some distance between us.

    ¡°What are we doing, Gabriel?¡± His pupils blow. In two strides, he closes the rest of the distance between us. One of his hands, fists in my hair and his arm bands around my waist, lifting me against him. With our I height differences, I¡¯m practically xd

    bncing on my toes. I wrap my arms around his neck, anchoring myself.

    ¡°I''m making you feel good, baby. I''l] keep going until you believe I want you.¡± His lips meet mine in a kiss so scorching, so filled with the longing and hunger, that it has me burning.

    There is nothing sweet about the way his lips feast on mine, consuming them, marking them with small bites and sucks.

    I moan and his tongue invades my mouth, stroking and gliding with my own. My hands grab his hair, holding on to him, totally consumed with need.

    Gabriel walks us back toward the bed.

    My knees hit it before I fall backward, and his body covers mine.

    He tags the top of my dress before ripping it in the middle, exposing my bare breast. He kisses his way down my neck while one of his hands cups one of my breasts and squeezes, his groan is smothered in the skin of my neck, where his lips and tongue are 4

    sucking and pulling, causing shivers across my skin.

    ¡°Fuck me,¡± he groans, rolling my nipples between his fingertips, ¡° You''re so beautiful Harper.¡± My fingers grab onto his shoulders, yanking and pulling at his shirt, trying to get the material off so we can be skin to skin, and I can feel his heartbeat against mine. I grind against him, and his lips continue their path down my neck and across my corbones. He leaves a wake of heat and wetness while he licks his way across my chest.

    I tug on his shirt again and feel his smile against my skin. Eventually, Gabriel helps by pulling it shirt off. My eyes track over the exposed skin, and I¡¯m struck dumb for a minute by the hard muscles of his abdomen.

    I rub my hands gently over the ridges and feel his sharp intake of breath from my touch on his heated skin. Our reyes meet, and he seems just as yy

    affected as me. Gabriel¡¯s lipse back to mine, Kissing me again, biting at my lips and sucking until I''mpletely gone for him.

 Chapter 467

    Chapter 0467 He takes off my panties and I feel one of his hands trail back down over my stomach and slide between my legs.

    My heart stutters, but I''m still so desperate for his touch. My mouth opens to his kiss, moaning against his lips, while I lift my hips into his touch, begging for him not to stop. His fingers slide over my slick skin and rub against my clit, rolling the bundle of nerves.

    Fuck, I¡¯m going toe so quick. My legs start to tremble on the bed, my head tilting back into the mattress.

    Gabriel hums against my skin in approval, my legs spread wide offering him a view all the way down my body.

    My eyes open, his heated nce on my face.

    ¡°That¡¯s fucking sexy.¡± He moves from my clit to slip a finger inside, curling it to rub against my G-spot.

    My body jerks, a gasp leaving my

    -¡ª EEE throat. Gabriel grins down at me, pumping his finger into me before adding a second and groaning at the tight fit. My body trembles and my hips buck against his hand, searching for the orgasm that feels just out of reach.

    He finally grants me release, moving to rub my clit again in tight circles, adding the right amount of pressure until I shatter. Ie all over his fingers, dripping down his arm and underneath me onto the bed. His name is ripped from my throat, and he groans in response.

    I can¡¯t move. My body has never felt this rxed from an orgasm. I blink a few times, trying to clear my vision, while my breathing evens out. Gabriel copses on my side, breathing just as hard. One look at his waist and I can see his cock straining against his pants. I reach for him, intent on making him feel as good as I do, but his hand knocks mine away.

    ¡°Nah uh, baby.¡± His voice is gravely. 4

    He gets up and stands over the bed. My heart sinks, thinking he ns to leave.

    Instead, his hands grab the backs of my thighs and pull me down the bed, his fingers gentle yet firm on my fleshy skin.

    ¡°Spread those legs for me, Harper.¡± His voice is full of fire and need.

    He sinks back down, his arms holding my legs, hands gripping my waist.

    His head lowers, his face grazing against the sensitive skin. The first touch of his tongue on my clit sends my hips thrusting up to his face, my hands tangling in his hair. With his hold on my legs and waist, I''m unable to move, even if I wanted to. Gabriel is ruthless. He uses his mouth, his tongue, his teeth on my clit and his fingers to bring me over the edge.

    By the third time, my whole body is trembling and my toes feel numb from curling them into the bed. My hands are sweaty and stick to Gabriel¡¯s hair when I finally let my arms drop aiid¡±

    from his head.

    He stands again and drops his pants to the ground, before sliding in bed next to me. His bands around my waist, and he pulls my body into him, moving us away from the wet spot on the sheets.

    ¡°IT can¡¯t move or think,¡± I tell him, and hear his chuckle against my back.

    ¡°Get some sleep, Harper,¡± he whispers against my shoulder.

    I tilt my head back and find his lips with mine. He tastes like me and him, which only makes my body heat all over again.

    ¡°What about you?¡± Gabriel¡¯s grey eyes re when he looks at me.

    ¡°Later, baby. Tonight was just about you.¡± He kisses my cheek and the soft spot on my shoulder again.

    I want to argue, I think I should do something to reciprocate, but thanks to his magical fingers and tongue, I can¡¯t move. I¡¯m exhausted and his >

    body is warm against mine. I could get used to this.

    ¡°Me too, Harper. Me too.¡±

 Chapter 468

    Chapter 0468 Just like the past few mornings, I wake up with Gabriel''s hand on my breast. I don''t know what it is about him, but for some weird reason this always happens.

    We would be travelling back home today and I''m not sure on how to feel about that. Yesterday I crossed a line when I allowed him to go down on me. I feel there is no going backwards naw. en I Don¡¯t get me wrong. I loved every minute of what we did. I loved every second of spending time with him these past few days... but there is just this fear that nothing is real. That I''ll soon wake up and realize it was nothing but a dream.

    There is a part of me that wants this so badly that I ache. And there is the

    Chapter 0468 other part that is skeptical about whatever is happening between us.

    As if sensing my thoughts, Gabriel''s hand around my breast drops and wraps around my waist. He pulls me close to him, that I feel his need and want on my skin. It''s like he¡¯s trying to dispel the doubts that had started infiltrating my thoughts.

    i I i I sigh in relief feeling all my worries and doubts wash away. Being in Gabriel''s arms. Slee ping and waking up beside him has been a dreame true. It''s been everything that I''ve always drea med of. Like I said, I do love Liam, but bei ng with hi m has never felt like this. It has nevere close to being this way with Gabriel.

    There is a part of me that is still fighting him. Still holding on to the past... But slowly by slowly, I feel myself starting to let go. Slowly by slowly I''m starting to embrace this

    Chapter 0468 I new life with him.

    I ¡°Hmm,¡± That''s the only I get before I''m flipped over and my back hits the mattress.

    Gabriel climbs on top of me and all thoughts leave my brain. Every thing inside me is suddenly consumed by the man on top of me.

    ¡°Good morning,¡± I greet with a smile, liking his weight on me.

    ¡°Morning, gorgeous.¡± I focus on those words, said in a husky voice. His eyes smolder with intensity and need, as my gaze falls to his lips. We reach for each other at the same time. My arms wind around his neck. One of his hands fists my hair and the other wraps around my throat so his thumb fits under my chin and tips my head back. His grip is firm and my knees grow weak. His

    Chapter 0468 I lips touch mine with hunger, like I''m a meal and he''s starving.

    Gabriel presses me against the mattress and I release a big moan when I feel his hard cock against my panties. My moan vibrates loudly in the room but who the fuck cares when he¡¯s kissing me this way? I can feel every hard edge of him, even through theyers of clothing. With his hand on my throat, Gabriel turns my head where he wants it, exposing the soft skin of my throat. He breaks away from my lips to trail kisses across my jaw and down my neck, softly scraping his teeth against the skin. I gasp and pull air into my lungs after being kissed senseless. I want him to be just as desperate as I feel.

    My hands move from his neck to his t- shirt, and I force it off. Soon, he¡¯s on top of me, chest bare, muscles rippling. I lean forward to ce a kiss

    Chapter 0468 over his heart and feel the racing rhythm against my lips. His hands clutch my hair, and he holds me to him.

    ¡°Do you know how much I love your lips? I could kiss them every minute,¡± he says, and I melt a little more for him.

    I chuckle, ¡°That''s a bit much, Gabriel.¡± ¡°No, it''s not,¡± he replies, his chest rumbling under my cheek. ¡°It''ll never be too much.¡± I tilt my head back until our eyes meet.

    I let him see everything I''m holding so close to my chest. My confusion, my happiness, my worries, and my love.

    Without breaking our silentmunication, Gabriel manages to remove my camisole. Throwing it to the floor.

    f 0 fn

    Chapter 0468 His fingers hook on the sp of my satin sleeping shorts, and soon, those end up on the floor too.

    My hands dive into his hair, bringing his mouth back to mine. I kiss him like I can¡¯t breathe, and he''s my only source of air. Gabriel''s hands grip my body everywhere, the roughness of his hands against my skin leaves gooseflesh in their wake.

    My body rocks against his while I push him closer and closer to losing control. When a moan tears from my throat, I sense the change in him. His hands fist the material at my sides, then there''s pressure and my panties fall away in scraps. One of his hands pushes between us, his fingers sliding through the mess I''m making between my thighs. I ~My hips jerk at the contact, and he Ri biting on my lip. His other

    Uhapter 0468 I hand is busy squeezing and teasing my breasts. I''m surrounded by him everywhere, all my nerve endings are humming and waiting for him to make the next move. All I can do is hold onto him. When his thick finger slides inside me, I can''t help the way his name is torn from my chest.

 Chapter 469

    Chapter 0469 Chapter 0469 ¡°Gabriel.¡± Once he¡¯s tested the stretch, making sure I''m well-prepared, he adds another, both of them pumping in and out of me, curling up to scrape over my G-spot. It doesn''t take long for my orgasm to build.

    Gabriel''s hoode dg aze meets mine, our lips only a fraction away from each other''s, while we share breaths in little puf fs of air. Whatever he sees on my face has him smirking and another finger circling tightly over my clit. 8 I grind against him, chasing the sensation until my whole-body shudders in his hold. He keeps pushing, grinding his palm against my clit, drawing it out until Ie again, gasping and crying out into the room.

    Chapter 0469 When my thighs finally stop shaking and the stars are blinked out of my eyes, I raise my face to his. Gabriel''s jaw is clenched, and he¡¯s still carrying so much heat in his gaze. It turns me on, and I contemte asking for another round, but decide I want to take care of him instead. I need it.

    I want to taste him. I I push against his chest, and quickly change positions. I move down his body until I''m on my knees between his legs. His eyes widen for a fraction of a second in surprise, before they grow hooded wit hd esire again. When I reach for his pajama pants, he gets onboard with my n, lifting his hips, so I can pull the material down his legs. i He kicks his pants and boxers off, and I swallow roughly at the sight of his dick. I don''t think it will dislocate my

    Chapter 0469 jaw, but it¡¯s going to be a stretch. I feel my core heating and growing wet again just thinking about it.

    Gabriel chuckles and my brain melt.

    His hand reaches for mine, taking it and wrapping it around the head. My hand moves from the head to the base, pumping twice, and his head falls back against the couch. When my lips touch the smooth skin, he I growls, and when they wrap around him, taking as much of himinasI can, his hands tangle in my hair tugging and pulling. >= That''s all the encouragement I need. I suck and use my hand to pump at the base. I groan around him. His hips tilt with small thrusts while dirty words fall from his throat, encouraging me, begging me not to stop.

    ls thrilling having him this way, at my mercy andpletely mine. Gabriel takes ownership of my mouth, just as

    Chapter 0469 I he did my body, not asking for permission or stopping. He pushes as far back as he can, finishing down my throat.

    ~~ When he¡¯s done, he pulls me off the base of the bed and onto his body. I snuggle into his chest, my cheek pressed against his heart again, listening to the frantic rhythm. His arms band around me, keeping my still naked body warm.

    ¡°Fuck, baby,¡± his voice is scratchy and a little breathless, ¡°do you feel it yet? I need you, Harper.¡± I instantly turn to putty in his arms. ¡°We''re meant to be together.¡± h I nod slightly and turn to wind my arms around him in any way I can. I still can''t form the words he wants to hear. I only hope he can feel how much I need him too. I''m just scared to admit it. We stay that way for what ka like hours. Eventually, Zander 4/6

    Chapter 0469 I carries me to the bathroom where we shower and get ready to leave.

    kkk I give the room onest nce before ~ sping on my suitcase. Just like I knew when Gabriel told me I would be apanying him on this trip, this trip has changed a lot between us.

    This room has been instrumental in most of those changes.

    ¡°Are you okay?¡± Gabriel asks,ing to stand beside me.

    ¡°I''ll just miss this suite. It was amazing staying here.¡± He lips form a wide smile that transforms his face and has me transfixed. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, once I marry you properly, we can get another penthouse suite for our honeymoon.¡± ¡°Marry me properly?¡± I ask, trying to 5/6 oii

    Chapter 0469 get my brain to function properly.

    ¡°Yes.¡± He replies. ¡°I want to do it right next time. When you are ready, we''ll have a proper engagement and wedding.¡± He pulls me out of the door before I can form a thought or even digest his words.

    Even as we board his jet to go back home, I can¡¯t stop thinking of his words. They melt my heart into a puddle of goo and I can¡¯t help but think of how amazing it would be getting married to Gabriel... and this time, properly. hy I .

 Chapter 470

    ?Chapter 0470

    Connie.

    I am dead on my feet as I ride the elevator to my penthouse. Just another day where I work way past my normal working hours so that I don''t have toe back to an empty apartment.

    I miss Reaper a lot.

    When I firstid eyes on him at the hospital after Ava got shot, I didn''t think much about the pull I felt towards him. Sure, the attraction was instant and I just felt like my soul knew him, but he was Reaper. The same man that had kidnapped one of my best friends.

    If I''m being honest, I''d never felt for a guy what I felt for Reaper that first time. I don''t get attracted to a guy the first time I see them. It''s something that builds up as I get to know them. With Reaper it had been different and that had scared the crap out of me.

    I''d thought that first meeting was it. That it would be thest time I saw of him, and soon my attraction would be forgotten. Well, that was the n, until he showed up at my apartment one night.

    I should be ashamed to say that I gave it up that very night, but I am not. Reaper gave me the best fucking that I''d ever gotten in my life. After we were done and he was dressing, I didn''t feel bad. I got to cum and if I never saw him again then at least I''d have the memories. I would never regret allowing him in my bed without even getting to know him first.

    I knew the kind of man he was. I knew he was the type to hit it and quit it. I was okay with that. I''d never done a one nightstand before, but I realized I didn''t mind that it was with Reaper.

    He left that night, as silently as he came to my home. I never expected to see him again so imagine my shock when two weekster he showed up at my door again. Just like the first time, we didn''t talk. Just got down to business, and just like before, the sex had been amazing.

    This went on for a couple of months. He woulde to me after two weeks. We would fuck and he would leave afterwards. No cuddling after sex. No spending the night. The moment we both orgasmed, he put on his clothes and silently left.

    I know you''re probably wondering what the fuck I was thinking. Wondering how could I let him treat me in that manner. Like I said, I didn''t mind. I loved the sex. Loved what we had. I wasn''t looking for a rtionship and neither was he. Our arrangement was perfect for both of us.

    This went on for a couple of months. That is until, he decided to change the rules. I''ll never forget the night that started us on this journey. The night, instead of getting off me, pulling his clothes on and leaving. He pulled out of me, fell beside me and pulled me into his arms. He then informed he was spending the night. He didn''t ask for permission. Just told me what was going to happen.

    I had started having feelings for him, but I think that night they became solid. That night, I fell for him.

    He kept his night visits, but instead of leaving the moment he was done cumming, he pulled me to him and spent the night. He was gone before I ever woke up, but the more we spent the night, the deeper I fell for him.

    I remember the first time I told him I loved him. It had been a year since he started the night visits and I had been so fucking nervous that I almost gave myself a panic attack.

    I''d told him, so afraid that he would reject me. I knew the risks I was taking. Knew that there was a possibility he didn''t feel the same and that he would stoping to me... But I am not the kind of person to wait. If something needs to be done, I get it done. I wanted to know if he felt the same, so I put my big girl panties on and decided I would tell him my feelings, and ask if he felt the same.

    He had been shocked at first, but then a happiness took over his features. He turned me over, slipped into my already wet and sore pussy, and fucked me till I couldn''t think clearly. Just as he was about to cum, he whispered

    those three words back to me. I remember feeling like the stars had aligned as my heart filled with warmth. Unlike before, he woke me up before leaving and made sweet, slow, love to me that left me aching for more of him. That had been might I say, the true start of our love story.

    I smile at the memories as I enter the code to unlock my door. Entering my home, the only thing I can think about is sleep.

    *Hello, darling."

    I stop in my tracks after hearing his deep and husky voice. I quickly look up to find Reaper seated on the sofa, his blue eyes on me.

    I''d been so lost in thought that I didn''t even notice the lights were on.

    With a joyous scream, I drop my bags, run, andunch myself at me.

    "Oh my God, you are here!" I hug him, probably squeezing the life out of him.

    I haven''t seen him in two months. That''s the longest we have gone without seeing each other.

    "I''ve missed you so fucking much," I can''t stop the tears that run down my face.

    He gently pulls me away from him and stares at me. His handse up and he wipes the tears as they continue to fall.

    "I''ve missed you too darling, it''s been hell without you," his gentle voice tries to soothe me. "You know it had to be done. I needed that hit on me gone so I can be with you anytime I want. I was tired of seeing you a few nights a month. Tired of not being able to take you out on dates. Tired of not being able to sleep and wake up beside you without worrying that I''ll be discovered. I was tired of not being able to be with you the way I wanted."

    I get it. It has been hard for both of us. All I ever wanted since I first realized I loved him, was for us to be together like normal couples. I hated that he was in hiding.

    "I know," I reply. "Is it done? Are you free now?"

    "Yeah, my love. I managed to strike a deal with the F.B.I. I''m a free man."

    I can''t stop the grin. Some people will judge me for falling in love with a criminal, but I just didn''t give two shits. It''s not like everyone in our world was genuine in their business dealings. I knew of a few of my father''s associates that have illegal businesses on their side. Their legal businesses are just used as a cover up for their shady dealing.

    I focus on my man. His eyes are shinning and I can''t help myself when I seal our mouths together.

    Gosh, I''ve missed his taste. His kiss is consuming and there is nothing gentle about it. I like it like that. I love that Reaper can be rough at times.

    I pull away panting, trying to catch my breath. It''s only after I feel the bulge underneath me, that I realize I was straddling him.

    "So, it''s finally over?" I ask, just to make sure.

    It''s been two long years. It feels like a dream.

    "Yes, Love, it is."

    "Good", I smile, "Because our baby needs his or her dad around."

    The way his eyes round isical and has meughing so hard, I almost fall.

    "What did you just say?" he stammers. This is the first time I''ve seen Reaper caught off guard.

    *Our baby needs their daddy around."

    "You are pregnant?"

    I smile and nod my head.

    His lips break in a breathtaking smile. Reaper is really goodlooking, but when he smiles, it takes his hotness to a whole new level.

    His eyes move from my face to my stomach. He then ces his hand on my belly.

    "We are going to be parents," he whispers as if he just can''t believe.

    "Yes, we are."

    Gripping the back of my neck, he pulls me forward for a kiss that leaves me shaking with need.

    "I''d nned to ask you to marry me after everything with me being back settles, but it looks like I''ll have to push that date up. There is no way our baby will be born out of wedlock."

    His words render me speechless. I open my mouth and close it. I can''t seem to form the words that I need to say. Reaper doesn''t even give me the chance to get my thoughts together or think about what he just said. Instead he gets up and carries me to the bedroom where we celebrate his return and our little miracle, all night long.

    Hey Loves, I know I''d promised a few chapters on Reaper and Connie, but I decided against it. I realized there isn''t much to their story so I decided to simply summarize it as best as I can. Anyway, I hope you enjoy. Take care and stay safe.

 Chapter 471

    ?Chapter 0471

    Harper.

    I give myself onest look in the mirror. I had on a high-waist pair of jeans and a silk blouse. My hair is up in a messy bun and apart from mascara and concealer, I didn''t really have much make-up on.

    We got back home at around nine in the evening. Lilly was already asleep, so we went to bed the moment we got home.

    Taking my bag, I get out of my room while checking the time. I had around an hour before I had to be at the restaurant.

    "Where are you headed to?" Gabriel asks the moment I step into the kitchen.

    Damn the man for looking so good.

    I did love Gabriel in suits. He always looks so hot in a suit, but there is something about him being bare feet, with a tight-fitting T-shirt and sweatpants. There is also something about him being shirtless with low hung sweatpants.

    I''ve seen all of them, and I''m still not decided which look I like most. Maybe my favorite look is him with nothing on.

    "Harper?" his amused voice breaks through my fog. "You are drooling."

    I scoff, trying to hide my embarrassment. "No, I am not."

    Today, he''s in one of his tight t-shirts and sweatpants, and he looks so delicious. I could almost taste him on my tongue.

    "Yes, you were," he chuckles in a husky. "I can give you a strip show if you want."

    My eyes widen when he ends his sentence with a wink.

    A strip show. Now that''s something I''d like to see Gabriel doing.

    "I see you like that idea."

    "Definitely."

    I can already imagine it in my head and the image is doing crazy things to mydy parts.

    I''m pulled from my daydreaming when he pulls me into his spread legs. I step into them willingly because, hot damn, which woman doesn''t love stepping in between a man''s spread legs?

    My eyes immediately go from his intense grey eyes, to his lips. As if we have the same thoughts, Gabriel shes his mouth with mine, giving me a kiss that steals my breath. For a moment I''m tempted to cancel my ns and drag him back to my room.

    *I like this," Lilly''s voiceing from behind forces me to pull my mouth from Gabriel''s

    Shit. I gasp and turn around to face our daughter, being a bit embarrassed that she caught us making out in the kitchen like two horny teenagers.

    "Like what, honey?" Gabriel asks, his hand still firmly around my waist.

    He pulls me against him, so my ass is directly in his crotch, and then heys his chin on my shoulder.

    "This," Lilly gestures to us. "I like that you two are kissing. You are married for heaven''s sake, yet you never do what normal, married couples do, like kissing and holding hands, and things like that."

    I can''t believe we are being called out by our eight-year-old daughter. I open my mouth about to speak. She cuts me off and continues.

    *If you haven''t been kissing because of me, then don''t. Feel free to eat each other''s faces anytime and anywhere. Well except at school. Please don''t embarrass me like that."

    Gabriel chuckles and I can''t help but smile. How is she this mature at just eight years old?

    *So, you have no problem with me kissing and holding your mother in front of you?"

    "No, as long as it''s not in school, then I have no problem... Maybe you can give me a sibling along the way?" she wiggles her eyebrow. "I don''t know how the whole baby making happens, but I''m fifty percent sure kissing is part of it

    I cough at her statement, trying to hide my embarrassment. Gabriel''s arms tighten around me, and he pulls me further into his body.

    "Oh, don''t worry, baby girl, I''m trying," Gabriel begins. "But if I had my way, your mother would be carrying your sibling right now."

    Shit! I curse internally when I feel liquid pour out of my vagina. I''ll need to change my panties because there is just no way in hell, I''m walking with my panties stuck to my vagina.

    *Okaay, let''s change the topic," I interrupt and step out of Gabriel''s arms because our position, and feeling his dick, was just making things worse for me.

    My cheeks were probably ming, as both father and daughter stared at me with expectation. Like, I''m the one that was standing in the way of what they both wanted. Gabriel, another baby. Lilly, a sibling.

 Chapter 472

    ?Chapter 0472

    Releasing a breath, I try to steady my heart. This is one conversation I never thought I would have with Lilly at this age. The one thing I''m grateful for though, is that she didn''t ask where exactly babiese from. That would have been a very difficult conversation.

    "I need to head to my room real quick, and then I''m leaving," I inform them, ignoring the whole baby talk.

    "You still haven''t told me where you are going." Gabriel reminds me.

    In my defense, I would have told him, but I got distracted. Well, he distracted me.

    "I''m meeting Ava and the girls for lunch."

    I''d been tempted to cancel on them and get some shut eye, but I decided against it. Ava had called a few days before we left Tokyo asking me if I could join them for lunch on Saturday. I''d said yes immediately without really thinking of how tired I''d be after a thirteen-hour flight.

    A smile breaks from his lips. "Really d to see you making friends."

    "Yeah, well, they are awesome."

    *Speaking of friends," Lilly cuts in. "Don''t forget that Sierra ising over today for a sleepover."

    *I haven''t forgotten, my sweet." I answer her. "Is there anything you want me to get for your sleepover?"

    She shakes her head. "Maybe more snacks and drinks. I don''t think we have enough."

    "Okay then, I''lle back with them," I reply before walking out of the kitchen.

    I quickly rush to my bedroom, change into another pair of panties, then leave after saying goodbye to both Gabriel and Lilly.

    Thirty minutester, I arrive at the restaurant she''d told me about. They were already seated and were waiting for me.

    "I didn''t think we should order without you, so we got drinks instead," Ava says as she stands up to hug me.

    Connie and Letty do the same, before we take our seats.

    *Sorry I''mte, something came up," I whisper while trying my best to hide my blush, knowing very well what hade up.

    I must not have hidden it very well because Lettie catches on to it.

    *Did you mean someone? Because from that blush you''re spotting, I''m guessing Gabriel had something to do with you beingte."

    "No! It''s not like that."

    They all giggle, making me feel even more embarrassed.

    "It''s exactly like that'' Connies says. "I bet he didn''t want you leaving bed today?"

    This was really blowing out of proportion... But, I wouldn''t mind if that had been the case.

    "No, it''s nothing like that," I inform them. "Lilly just caught us making out in the kitchen, and then she went on to tell us that she approves us kissing."

    "Wait," thises from Ava. "Lilly has never seen you two kissing?"

    I shake my head, before answering, "No. Remember Gabriel and I got into a contract marriage. We didn''t really n on having anything to do with each other. Us kissing is a recent development."

    "Who initiated the kiss?" Lettie asks.

    *Gabriel."Update first atN?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    *So that means he''s interested in you" Ava says. "Men rarely take initiative unless they want to. So, the fact that he''s the one that initiated the kiss means he wants you."

    I could go into detail about all the things Gabriel has initiated this past week, but I decide not to. I''m not the kind of woman who would willingly talk about what happened behind closed doors with her husband.

    I get there are women who feelfortable sharing their sex escapades with their spouses, but I am not one of them.

    "I guess so," I mumble. "Anyway, let''s talk about something else."

    "I''m pregnant," Connie blurts the words out, shocking everyone.

    *Serious?" Letty asks and Connie just nods her head.

    There is a chorus of cheers and congrattions as we hug her. She seems really happy, which takes me back to what Gabriel said about wanting another child.

    *That means our babies will be close best friends since they''ll only be months apart!" Ava all but yells with excitement, her face radiating her joy.

    "I know!" Connie gushes, literally bouncing up and down on the chair. "I can''t wait. Reaper is also excited. He showed me just how excited he is about being a father and the fact that I can barely walk proves that. He didn''t let me leave the house for two freaking days!"

    "Wait," Letty holds up her finger to stop her. "Let''s back track. We''ll get to why you can''t walk straight, but you said Reaper didn''t let you leave the house for two days. Does that mean he''s back?"

 Chapter 473

    ?Chapter 0473

    "Yes! He''s no longer in hiding." She beams, her happiness and excitement so contagious. "He even unofficially proposed."

    "What do you mean by unofficially proposed?" I ask,pletely confused.

    By the other''s looks, they were just as confused. It''s either he proposed or didn''t. There is nothing like being unofficially proposed to.

    "Well, when I told him I''m pregnant, he said that he had was nning to propose, but given our surprise miracle, he''s going to move the proposal up so we can get married before our baby arrives," she replies, her eyes still shining in pure joy and happiness.

    That makes sense. I get why she would word it as an unofficial proposal.

    There''s a round of joyous screaming as we hug her and congratte her once again. Her man being back has a major effect on her. She now seems free. The weight she was carrying thest time we met is no longer there. She is glowing in the aftermath of Reaper being back home with her.

    "What about you Letty?" I turn to her. "You''ve been with Travis longer. Why hasn''t he proposed yet?"

    Letty''s eyes move to Ava for a brief second before they turn back to me. She sighs, letting out a deep breath before opening her mouth to speak.

    "He was going to," she begins. "I even saw the ring and the cheesy poem he had prepared for when he would get on one knee... But then shit went down with thepany and it almost went bankrupt. I guess proposing took a backseat because he became busy trying to save thepany. It''s doing better now, but it''s nowhere near where it used to be. He''s still trying to find investors."

    They had filled mest time, so I know Travis''s familypany almost copsed because Ava''s real parents went after it for how they treated their daughter.

    Sometimes I still can''t believe that Ava isn''t a Sharp, but it would make sense given she looks nothing like them.

    Horror takes over Ava''s features, and I get why. It''s only now, she''s realizing the impact her grudge has had on her best friend''s life.

    "H" Ava tries to find words to say, but nothinges out

    Letty takes Ava''s hand in hers. "You have to forgive them and let it go, Ava. I didn''t want to pressure you because you are one of my best friends, but it does hurt knowing you''ve forgiven Rowan and his family, yet you can''t seem to forgive Travis and his mom."

    "Letty."

    "No, listen to me," Letty cuts Ava off. "Forgiving them and letting go doesn''t mean you have to be besties with them. It doesn''t mean they have to be a part of your life. It means you are no longer bound to the past. They''ve tried making amends, but you refuse to let them. It''s been two years, Ava, yet you''ve shut them out of your life. I love you, I really do, but I feel like you are not being fair to them."

    I shift on my chair ufortably. For some reason, I feel like I shouldn''t be here. I shouldn''t be listening in on their conversation because it seems private.

    Letty sighs and continues. "Just think about it. Forgive them and move on. Let go. How can you have a future when you''re still holding on to the past? I''m asking you to do this partly because of Travis and partly because of you. You can''t im to be healing while still holding on to what they did. I know it''s awful what they did, but give yourself a chance to forgive them. They don''t have to be in your life. They don''t have to be part of your life, but just let the past go and really move forward."

    Even though she spoke those words to Ava, I feel like they were directed at me. Isn''t my confusion when ites to Gabriel because I refuse to let go of the past? Because I''m still fighting the man I know, and I keepparing him to the boy I used to know?

    I couldn''t help but think about her words for the rest of lunch. Letty had given both me and Ava food for thought. could see it in Ava''s eyes. Just like me, the words didn''t leave her mind for the rest of our time together.

 Chapter 474

    ?Chapter 0474

    Like I''d said, I''d forgiven Gabriel, so why was I still holding on to the past? Why was I stillparing him to the man that he was? It is obvious that he has changed, yet my brain still doubted him.

    You know the saying ''if he wanted to, he would have?'' that is exactly what is happening with Gabriel right now. Back then he didn''t want to. He didn''t want to love me. He didn''t want to care about me. Hell, he simply didn''t want me... And because he didn''t want me, he didn''t treat me like I mattered.

    Deep down I do get him though. If my calctions are correct, he married me one and a half year after that girl broke his heart. Knowing Andrew, he must have ckmailed him or something to get Gabriel to marry me.

    I didn''t think about it when we were married. In fact, I didn''t want to think about it because it would shatter my illusion that he had married me because he felt something for me. It was only yearster that I''d epted that Gabriel married me because he had been coerced into it. Not because he wanted to.

    I can only imagine what he felt. He had probably not gotten over the betrayal of his ex-girlfriend. He was angry and bitter, and probably thought all women were the same. Then he is forced to marry me. In his head, he probably thought that Andrew and I wanted to use him. To use his family''s name to save ourpany. Just like Ashley had used him.

    On top of all that, there was the issue with Rowan at that time. Rumors had it that he wasn''t doing all that well after messing up with Ava... And then there was Ava. Ava was probably the other woman who reinforced Gabriel''s belief that women were vicious, because she slept with her sister''s boyfriend and broke them up because she wanted him to herself.

    I''m not justifying what he did. How he treated me is wrong, but I get him. I mean, didn''t I do the same? Because of how badly he hurt me, I refused to have anything to do with love. Hell, I got married to a man that loved someone else just so I didn''t risk getting hurt again.

    We approached our heart breaks differently, but the thing is, the result of that is that we tried stopping it from happening ever again.

    I''m shaken from my thoughts when the cares to a stop. After thanking the driver, I get out and head up.

    My mind is still in turmoil about everything, but for some reason the thought of giving Gabriel a chance didn''t send me into panic like it usually did. Instead, peace washed over me. I was tired of fighting what I feel for him.

    I get to our floor and get out of the elevator. I punch in the code and the door unlocks. After kicking off my shoes, I walk further inside with the shopping bags.

    "Hi Sharon," I greet our Nanny who was in the kitchen having some snacks.

    "Hi Harper."

    Even though I tell her that she didn''t need to, she gets up and helps me with the shopping bags.

    After setting everything where it''s supposed to be, I walk to Lilly''s room where I heard giggling.

    "I''m back Lilly," I say after opening the door to my room.

    Her head pops up from underneath the bed, she rushes to me and gives me hug.

    "You''re finally back. I''ve been dying for you toe back so you can meet Sierra!" she is literally bouncing with excitement. "Sierra! Come out and meet my mom"

    There is some shuffling, and then a beautiful blonde girl dashes out from under the bed before stopping next to Us.

    "Hi! I''m Sierra!" she greets cheerfully, her eyes shining and radiating.

    "H-Hi Sierra. It''s nice to meet you."

    Before I can stop her, she wraps her hands around me and gives me a hug. I can now understand why Lilly is

    smitten with her. Sierra is a really warm girl.

    "It''s nice meeting you too!" She all but yells. "Lilly talks about you all the time."

    I nod and smile, while gently patting her back. After she steps back, I address both of them.

    "Do you two need anything?"

    "No," the chorus at the same time. It was honestly a bit freaky.

    "Okay then, I''ll call you when dinner is ready," I say before turning to Lilly. "Where is your dad?"

    *He was in his office, but I think he went to take a nap after Sharon arrived," she answers.

    *Okay, let me know if you need anything."

    "I will."

    "My eyes sh to Sierra one more time. There was something about her. I just couldn''t put my finger on it. Shaking my head, at that weird feeling, I leave and close the door behind me.

    Walking down the hallway, I head towards Gabriel''s bedroom. I don''t know if he''s awake, but I am hoping so. When I get to his door, I gently knock.

 Chapter 475

    ?Chapter 0475

    *Come in," he finally answers, just when I was about to give up and assume he''s still asleep.

    Opening the door, I enter. I find him seated on his bed. When he sees me, he moves down, sitting on the edge. I close the door and cross the floor to where he is.

    "How was girl''s day out?" he asks, his voice a bit thick with sleep.

    *Enlightening."

    "How?"

    *Can I ask you something? And promise to be honest about it."

    He turns fully to me, now fully awake. His eyes roam over my face as if he''s trying to figure out what I''m about to ask. After a minute, he nods his head.

    "I realized that Andrew must have ckmailed you into marrying me the first time. Given your heartbreak, you wouldn''t jump willingly into marriage, especially with a girl you barely knew. Could you please tell me what he had on you?"

    I could tell that he really didn''t want to, but I needed the answers. I needed to know how Andrew was able to secure a marriage between us.

    *Harper..."

    *Please?"Update first atN?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    "Rowan got worse after he got married to Ava. He wasn''t doing well and Andrew got evidence that Rowan was drinking and doing drugs. He threatened to expose that evidence to the media. With a scandal like that, it would have ruined thepany and Rowan''s image. So, I agreed because I didn''t want Rowan''s image to be ruined. He was supposed to step in as the C.E.O with me as his VP,"

    I knew it. I just knew that Gabriel wouldn''t have married me willingly. I guess living in a fantasy world, believing that he felt something for me was easier to believe than the alternative.

    He pulls me up and guides me down so that I''m sitting on hisp.

    "I hated your brother for that, but Iter realized why he did it. He didn''t want you to be alone. I''vee to the realization that he gave me a gift. I almost realized it toote, but betterte than never. I want you, Harper. I need you like the very air I breathe, and I''ll spend the rest of my life showing you that you own my heart. I''ll spend the rest of my life atoning for the shit I put you through."

    "Gabriel..." I didn''t know what to say.

    He was making his intentions very clear. I didn''t know what to do with that, but I also rejoiced even though I didn''t show it to him.

    *Haven''t you wondered why I came to you? I could have had any fucking woman. They would have happily agreed to enter into a marriage contract, yet the moment I was given the ultimatum, my mind immediately thought of you. I believe it''s because you are my destiny. That''s why I never fell in love with anyone during the years we were apart, and neither did you. I needed to mature and let go of the fucking past before I could be the kind of man you need. I''m not there yet, but I''ll fight to be a man worthy of your heart."

    I keep quiet. Thinking of everything he just said. Could we really work this time? Is it really fate that we are here yearster after a really terrible beginning?

    *I want a chance with you, darling, but I won''t push you. I''m content to wait for you, however long it takes, until you are ready to have me. We''ll take one step at a time."

    He cups my cheek and kisses my forehead. I immediately melt in his arms. I wrap my hands around his broad shoulders andy my head against his, just content with being in his arms.

    "By the way, I forgot to tell you that my parents have a charity g tomorrow. We''ll be attending." He says so casually, I almost hit him for springing this on me and being unbothered by it.

    I rip my head from his and stare at him with round eyes. "And you are telling me this now!"

    "It slipped my mind!" he grumbles, trying to defend himself. "It''s not my fucking fault that I get distracted when you are around me. I barely think of anything important."

    "I need to find a dress," I jump from hisp, ready to rush into my bedroom to see what''s there to wear. If I don''t find anything, I''ll have to go shopping tomorrow morning. It''ll be Sunday, but I''m sure a store or two will be open.

    *Onest thing."

    I stop with my hand on the door handle.

    "What?"

    *You are sleeping here tonight and every night." He informs me, as his eyes bore into mine. "I got used to having you in my bed the entire night while we were in Tokyo. I''m not going another night without you in my arms."

    I don''t reply as I open the door and leave, but I can''t stop the smile that takes over my lips.

 Chapter 476

    ?Chapter 0476

    *And we are done."

    When I couldn''t find a dress to suit the asion, Gabriel called for help. A whole team arrived about three hours ago to help me with my makeup and dress.

    My makeup is wless. My makeup artist had opted for a ssy look. My eyes were adorned with a soft yet bold eyeshadow that enhanced their natural depth, framed by long, flutteryshes that made my gaze all the more captivating. A touch of gold shimmering in the innerers brightens my eyes, drawing attention to their warmth, while my hair cascaded in loose waves, glistening like silk under the gentle light.

    As for my dress, we went with a red gown since red had be Gabriel''s favorite color on me. The gown is a breathtaking blend of sexy and elegant, crafted from a deep ruby satin that drapes beautifully over my curves. The neckline plunges just enough to be alluring, while intricatece detailing along the edges adds a touch of sophistication. The fitted bodice entuates my waist, ring out gently into a flowing skirt that brushes the floor.

    When I move, the fabric catches the light, shimmering like liquid as it reveals just a hint of her legs. A daring thigh- high slit adds an unexpected edge, which, like my stylist said, would showcase my confidence while maintaining an air of grace.

    Gabriel had provided me with jewelry. I wore a pair of stunning pearl drop earrings, their lustrous surface catching the light and adding a touch of ssic elegance to my look. Each pearl is framed by delicate gold ents.

    Around my neck, was a statement ne, featuring a cascade of sparkling crystals in a floral design,

    mimicking the graceful curves of nature. The ne sits perfectly just above my corbone, drawing attention to the neckline of my dress.

    On my wrists, I wore two thin gold bangles. One bangle is adorned with small, shimmering gemstones that echo the ruby tones of my dress, while the other is a simple, polished band that highlights the elegance of the first.

    I take a moment to appreciate my reflection, a soft smile ying on my lips. I look at myself in the mirror, my eyes twinkling. I swear to God, I''ve never looked this beautiful.Update first atN?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    Turning to the team, I hold my hand out to them. They dly take it.

    "Thank you so much," I tell them, fighting back tears. "You have no idea just what this means to me. You''vepletely transformed my appearance today and saved my ass from embarrassment."

    Theyugh at myst sentence, but squeeze my hands.

    *You are wee, and any time you need us, just ho, and we''ll be there," Candice, my makeup artist, says.

    "It was a pleasure working with you. Honestly, you are the easiest client I''ve ever worked with." Adds Billy, my stylist.

    After air kissing my cheeks, they leave with two of their team members. Distantly, I hear their voices as they talk with Gabriel, before the door opens and closes.

    Secondster, the door opens and Gabriel walks into his bedroom. Correction, our bedroom since he had our housekeeper move all my things this morning.

    He stops dead in his tracks. "You lookpletely stunning."

    His eyes roam over my form and I get a thrill from it. It''s like he''s leaving a trail of burning fire as his gaze moves down my body.

    "I take it, you approve?" I tease, as I saunter over to where he''s standing, as if his feet are glued to the floor.

    His hands immediately snake out, and wrap around my waist. He pulls me close, smashing our chests together.

    "Will I ruin your lipstick if I were to kiss you right now?"

    Thank God for matte lipsticks.

    "Since when has that ever stopped you?"

    That''s all the approval he needs as he smashes our lips together. Just like always, his kiss leaves me breathless. We pull away when we both need toe up for air. Gasping for breath because for a moment we forget to breathe.

    He presses his forehead against mine. "Damn it, Harper. You''vepletely taken over my fucking heart in ways never sawing. I''m tempted to cancel our attendance."

    I chuckle, but remain silent, because what am I supposed to say to that?

 Chapter 477

    ?Chapter 0477

    "Let''s go before we arete," I tell him after we both caught our breaths.

    He nods his head, as his hand glides down mine where he locks our fingers together and pulls me out of our bedroom.

    *You look stunning, Mrs. Harper!" Sierra screams, her voice brimming with glee when she sees me.

    "Yes! You do, mom,* Lilly adds, bouncing up and down.

    "Thank you, girls,"

    Sierra will be leavingter on because of school tomorrow. Since neither me nor Gabriel will be here when she leaves, we have arranged with our driver to have him drop her off. He''ll make sure she''s back home safely.

    "Now, you two be good to Sharon and don''t cause her any trouble, okay?" I tease in warning.

    "We will!" they chorus.

    My eyes, since meeting Sierra, stray back to her. Like I said, there is something about her that draws me to her. Something familiar.

    After saying goodbye to both of them, Gabriel and I leave. We don''t say much in the car, but his hand which held mine the entire time,forts me.

    We get there in record time and I start to panic when I notice a few paparazzi outside the building.

    "You nervous?" Gabriel pulls my attention from them.

    "Yes" I reply shakily. "This is the first time we are appearing at an event together."

    My eyes drift back to the wind, but Gabriel grabs my chin and pulls my face back to his.

    "Look at me," hemands.Update first atN?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    The authority and sexiness of his deep husky voice, has me obeying hismand like a good girl.

    "Everything will be okay; I''ll be with you. You don''t have to worry about anything,"

    I take a deep breath and nod my head. "Okay."

    "Good, now, Mrs. Gabriel Woods. It''s time to show you off," he steals a quick kiss, making meugh in the process just as the door opens.

    The driver helps me out. Gabrieles out, takes my hand and ces a kiss on it, before cing another one on my temple.

    The paparazzi swarm us, the camera lights blinding me as each one of them tries to take a picture.

    HOW DID YOU TWO MEET? One person throws out.

    HARPER, HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO STEAL GABRIEL''S HEART WHEN OTHER WOMEN HAVE NEVER SUCCEEDED?

    WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE IN LOVE?

    IS IT TRUE YOU TWO HAVE A DAUGHTER?

    IS SHE THE REASON WHY YOU GOT MARRIED?

    They keep throwing questions at us.

    "Ignore them," Gabriel whispers in my ear, as he leads me inside.

    When we get inside, I breath a sigh of relief. Thanking the heavens that we were finally away from those meddling reporters.

    Ie to a stop when the spacious room greets us. Hundreds of people are seated in the elegantly decorated room. Whoever the nner was, did an amazing job because everything was so beautiful and enchanting.

    Gabriel leads me, as I stare all around me. It''s been years since I''ve been to a charity event. The moment ourpany went bankrupt, we stopped receiving invitations.

    Before we can get to where he intended us to get to, we are intercepted by his mother.

    "Oh, Harper, I''m so d to see you and have you here. Thank you foring!" Gabriel''s mother beams in a sweet voice, and then pulls me in a warm and tight hug.

    "I''m right here, Mom... You know, your son'' Gabriel teases with a smile on his face.

    "Oh shush!" she swats at his arms. "I only invited you because of Harper."

    *Thank you for having me," I smile, basking in her warmth.

    *You two have a seat. I have to y host until everyone arrives." She says, and then gives us a gentle push towards the tables and chairs.

    I immediately spot Ava and Rowan. They are seated at one of the tables at the front. Gabriel guides us in that direction, while avoiding those who obviously want to engage him in conversation. When we get there, Ava and Rowan stand up to greet us.

    We take our seats and the brothers immediately begin to talk.

    *You look stunning, Harper." Ava smiles at me warmly.

    *You too, that dress looks gorgeous on you." I reply, and then, for some add reason, we beginughing.

 Chapter 478

    ?Chapter 0478

    As we chat, Ava''s eyes keep going back to Rowan. You can see the love that is there. Despite everything he put her through she still managed to give him another chance.

    Rowan''s eyes, of course, keep drifting to his wife too. It''s like he simply can''t keep his eyes from her or his hand for that matter, given he keeps finding ways to touch her.

    I know how cruel Rowan was to Ava in those three years of marriage to Gabriel. He treated her like she was nothing. Now though, she seems to be his whole world. His love for her openly shines. I never thought that he''d ever change towards her, but the evidence of his change and love is staring at me directly in the face.

    *Something is bothering you," Ava whispers, pulling me from my thoughts.

    I turn to her, my eyes searching her face. "Have you truly forgiven Rowan? How did you do it? How did you let go of the past?"

    I just didn''t get it and, if I am being honest, I am freaking scared of taking that step with Gabriel.

    Her eyes shift to her husband, before the refocus back on me.

    "I have forgiven him, and that''s the easy part. The hard part is letting go and forgetting. I won''t lie to you, Harper, it isn''t easy. There isn''t a magic potion that will make you forget what he did. Other days are harder than others, especially when those memories hit me and infiltrate my mind, making me question my decision to give him a chance."Update first atN?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    I''m taken aback by what she just revealed. I never would have thought that there are times she would question her decision.

    She takes a deep breath, and I can see her raw emotions. "But I love him. I tried shing that love out and killing it. I tried moving on. I tried ignoring it. It still remained. Still fought to hold on.

    Rowan has shown me that he has changed. It''s in the way he has treated me and loved me since he realized it''s me he wants. It''s in the small and big ways he has proved to me, still proving to me, that he loves me. It''s in how he looks at me, takes care of me and shows me that I''m the only woman in his heart.

    It''s the in the way he has treasured and taken care of my heart since I gave it back to him. Those things are what keeps me fighting during times my memories threaten to drown me. He is right there with me when ghosts of our past show up to haunt me.

    When the echoes of pain from the past show their ugly head. I look at him and seeing the love in his eyes pushes the darkness away. It hasn''t been easy, and it will take time topletely get rid of it, but I know he is with me through every step. It''s an uphill battle, but I know, and I''m sure of his heart and love. That''s what makes everything worth it."

    I lean back on my chair and just stare at the table cloth. Focusing on the sparkling gold fabric.

    *Like I said, it isn''t easy, and it won''t be for you if you decide to give Gabriel a chance.... But ask yourself, do you want this second chance? Has Gabriel shown you his heart? Showed you that he has changed? Has he shown you he wants a future with you? Do you love him? If the answer to all of those questions is yes, then give him another chance. Love is about taking a risk. You''ll dive deep and he''ll catch you. When he does, you will realize just how worth it that risk was."

    Everyone arrives, and the food is served, then nextes the speeches. During the entire time, my mind circles back to what Ava told me. It''s time I make a decision.

 Chapter 479

    ?

    "What are you thinking about?" Gabriel asks while pulling me into the ballroom where others were dancing.

    After dinner, there were speeches and then everyone was free to mingle and enjoy the party.

    My eyes immediately spot Ava and Rowan. They looked like they were in their own little world as they glided across the floor. Their eyes held nothing but love for each other.

    I want that. I want a man that looks at me like I''m his whole word and his sole purpose for being alive. I want to be the only woman that holds his heart. I want to be loved so deeply that it radiates off of him in waves.

    My eyes move back to Gabriel as he pulls me closer. It isn''t appropriate to dance this close at such an event, but it seems that Gabriel doesn''t really care.

    I stare at his eyes and I see nothing but adoration there. I also see what could possibly be love, but I am not sure. I can''t really say it is love when he hasn''t really told me that he loves me.

    Can I really have what Rowan and Ava have if I give him a chance? Can we really build our rtionship into something more if I decide to let go and take a deep dive into love once again? Is this really a second chance for us?

    The questions keep ringing in my head even, aware that I haven''t really answered Gabriel''s question. I can''t really tell him what''s going on in my head, mainly because it involves him.

    *Harper?"

    *Sorry, I''m just thinking about Sierra" I lie, but was it really a lie when I''ve thought about her since yesterday? "What about her? You don''t like her?" he asks, genuinely curious.Update first atN?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    "It''s not that," I breathe. "I do like her, but there is just something so familiar about her. It sounds crazy, but I feel like I know her from somewhere."

    I''ve been trying to piece up the puzzle whenever I am not thinking about Gabriel, but no matter what I do, I just can''t figure out what is so familiar about her.

    "Maybe you''ve seen her before," he states unhelpfully.

    I didn''t want to talk about her much, so I just mumble, "Maybe."

    Gabriel leans down and pecks my lips right in the middle of the ballroom. "Now, tell me the real reason why you have that frown on your face. What are you really thinking about?"

    How the hell did he know that I''d lied to him? How does he already know me so well?

    Sighing, I let my head fall on his shoulder for a brief seconds before I pull back. "I''m just thinking about us."

    His eyes bore into mine as we sway to the soft music that was ying.

    "I know that this may seem early, but I know my feelings, Harper, and I know that for the few months you''ve been back into my life, I''vepletely fallen in love with you."@

    I miss a step as his words hit my ears. Almost stepping on him in the process.

    "W-what?" I stammer, still having a hard timeprehending what he just told me.

    "I didn''t want to scare you, so I kept my mouth shut." He begins in a rich and soft voice. "I don''t know how it happened, or when it happened, but from the moment I saw you again, something drew me to you. You captivated me in ways I never thought possible and each day my curiosity and obsession with you grew."

    "Gabriel..."

    "It''s okay, you don''t have to say anything right now, but there is something I want to show you."

    My eyes shift between his before I finally agree with a nod. When I do, he pulls me from the dance floor, heading towards the double doors.

    My heart is racing with excitement and joy. Isn''t this what I wanted? Isn''t being with Gabriel what I''ve always desired? I can''t deny that being with him has brought back the love I tried to bury. It has been there for a while, simmering on the surface of my heart and soul.

    The charity event was held in one of the grand hotels in the city. From what I know, Wood''s Corporation had major shares in it.

    We get out of the ballroom. Walk across the main hall where we had dinner. Then step outside, to the hallway of the hotel.

    "Where are we going?" I ask as Gabriel leads me to the elevator doors.

    *Mom booked us a room here in case we decided to stay the night instead of going homete and waking up Lilly."

    That made sense. Most of these events usually endte into the night.

    We get to our floor. Gabriel guides me to what I''m sure is our room. Using his thumb on the fingerprint scanner, he unlocks the door, ushers us in and softly closes it behind him.

    I don''t have time to check or admire the room as Gabriel pulls me to a working station in the corner of the room. I notice some documents, which he takes and hands them over to me.

    "What are these?" I ask curiously, my eyes scanning his face.

    "Take a look at them."

    My heart rate increases as I open the first document. I scan the pages. My eyes widen as each word on the paper hits me. I take the second document and the same thing happens.

 Chapter 480

    ?Chapter 0480

    By the time I''m done going through them and ce them on the table, my hands are trembling, and my heart is racing. I''m renderedpletely speechless as my shift from Gabriel''s face to the documents on the table.

    "Gabriel" I shake my head. "I don''t understand."

    He takes my hands in hisrge one. His eyes hold nothing but warmth and affection.

    "I''ve been scanning my brain, trying to find ways to prove to you that I want this. That I want us. The idea came to me while we were in Tokyo. I had mywyer draft two new documents, then had him bring them here. All you have to do is sign them."

    *But thepany is yours, our contract hasn''t ended..." I rush through my words as my brain refuses to function.

    "I want a real chance with you, Harper. I want a real marriage. That''s why I decided to terminate the marriage contract... As for Unity Ventures, it''s yours. I''ve already transferred ownership to you. I don''t want anything standing in the way of being with you."

    This right here is his grand gesture. His way of telling me that he is all in. That even without the marriage contract or thepany he used to ckmail me into marriage with him, he still wants me. Just as I am.

    *I love you, Harper, and I hope in time you''lle to believe that, but this is one of the ways I can prove to you that I want you permanently in my life. I want you, Lilly and any future children you''ll give me. I want a life with you."

    Staring at him, something just clicks inside me. I''ve been waiting for a sign. A sign to usher me in the right direction. This is the sign. These two documents prove that he is serious about wanting a life with me.

    Gabriel shocks me even more when he gets down on his knees.

    "I''ll do anything you want just to get you to give me a second chance," he begs as his hands circle my waist, and heys his head on my stomach. "I''ll beg if I have to. Kiss your feet if that''s what it takes."Update first atN?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    Seeing such a powerful and dominant man submit and kneel before me shatters every constraint I had.

    How many people get second chances? How many people get to have the man they love beg at their feet?

    Love is about taking risks. Ava''s words y in my head.

    "Get up, Gabriel," I whisper. He is reluctant, so I add. "Please."

    He finally gets up and stands only inches from me. I ce my hands on his cheek. He closeshis eyes and leans into my touch for a brief second.

    "I had a talk with Ava, and before the speeches were done, I''d already made a decision." I say in a faint voice, the only visible sound was the beating of my heart.

    "What did you decide?" For the first time since I''ve known Gabriel, I see fear in his eyes. Fear of losing me. Fear of me rejecting him.

    I take a deep breath as peace washes over me at my decision. "I want this with you. I want to be with you because I''m tired of fighting my feelings for you. This is our second chance, and I''d be an idiot if I pass it up. You said you''d prove to me that you love me, that you want me. My question is, how will you prove you love me?" His answer is immediate.

    "I''ll show up" he promises, his voice low with emotion. "Day after day. Night after night. I''ll show up for you and I''ll be there for you, loving you each day the right way, the way you deserve, every single day for the rest of my life. I''ll love you on the days you still doubt my love for you; I''ll love you even when memories of what I did haunt you; I''ll love you even when you question your decision about giving me another chance. I''ll keep knocking at the doors of your heart, just like Rowan did with Ava, and I''ll keep knocking until you have no more doubts about us. I''ll show you how serious I am about fixing what I broke years ago and building our marriage, because I fucking love you, Harper."

    I can''t stop the tears that fill my eyes at his words. Gabriel grips my hand tighter as if he wants me to feel his sincerity and regret for how he hurt me before.

    "What I''ll do is to love you fully and thoroughly," he continues. "I''ll listen to you and my every action will be aimed at showing you just how grateful I am that you gave me a second chance."

    I can''t say anything. My mind and heart are aplete mush. Instead, I seal our lips together,municating without words that I understand and ept his words.

    His arms wrap around me as he deepens the kiss. The moment he does, I am lost, but even then I can''t help but ept just how right being with him without any constraints felt.

 Chapter 481

    ?

    Gabriel.

    I pull away from Harper and just stare at her. The woman that I''d fallen in love with just mere months of her being back into my life.

    After Ashley, I thought my heart was dead for good. That it would never beat again for another woman. I was content with just using them for their bodies and then dumping them when I got bored before jumping to another one.

    I never saw Harpering. I wasn''t prepared for her arrival and the changes she''d bring back to my life. She was a silent storm. One that consumed me and I let her, because there was just something about her that drew me in.

    I look at her now, and I am filled with gratefulness. Thankful that she''s decided to give me a chance. To give us a chance. She''s everything I''ve ever wanted. I didn''t see it back then because I was blinded by pain and betrayal, but I do see it now, and I''m grateful to whoever it''s that granted us a second chance. I internally vow not to take it for granted and to be the man who deserves her.

    With Harper''s body against mine, I lead her through the room and right up to the bedroom where I''ve imagined being buried inside her a million times.

    "Are you sure about this? Are you sure you want this?"

    Her brow rises. "Are you really trying to argue with me about what I want?"

    "No, darling, I''m reminding myself that, instead of giving me the middle finger and walking away, you''re here with me, where I want you." I smile at her and watch as her face goes soft.

    Her gaze widens as I stalk toward her again.

    We''ll leave in the morning. It gives me just enough time for me to make her mine again,pletely and without room for doubt in her mind.

    Harper''s lips part in a gasp, right as I reach for her. My hand slides around the back of her neck, anchoring her to me.

    My lips taste, lick, and bite hers until they''re red, puffy and sensitive from where my facial hair rubs against them. I don''t stop, though. Her fingers grab my tie, loosening it and taking it off over my head, before reaching for the buttons on my shirt and pushing it off until my chest ispletely bared to her.

    I love how bold she is in this moment and that she wants me like I want her. Nothing was going to stop me from taking her, from taking what was always mine. I just need to know though.

    "Who was your first?"C¨®ntent belong to N?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    Her eyes open and collide with mine. I can see apprehension in her gaze, but she''s not fearful. I don''t want her to be sad or scared. I was with someone else, and it''s not like she had to remain a virgin just for me.

    I just need to know. I haven''t been with anyone since before I tracked her down. Once I make her mine tonight, need her to know that there is no one else for her but me and that I only belong to her. The same goes for me. "Don''t ask questions you don''t want answers to," she replies, probably hoping it will coax me into letting it go. My brow rises, and my hands shove under her dress and pull it up and off over her head.

    "Is that right?" Shivers crawl over her skin, and her eyes darken with lust.

    I hook my fingers in the waistband of the panties she''s wearing and yank them down, bringing my face level to her torso. I help her get her feet untangled while cing heated kisses against the smooth skin of her abdomen. Her hands tangle in my hair and a breathy little moan slides between her lips.

    My hands slide behind her legs, lifting her as I get to my feet. I walk us farther into the room and over to the bed. I set her down on the edge, my lips dancing against hers once more.

    I take off her strapless bra, while never separating our mouths. Her hands find me again, sliding my dress pants and boxers off until we''re both naked. I press her into the bed, twisting our bodies and shoving her toward the middle.

    With Harper next to me, I lean over and y with her nipples until they pebble and then suck each one into my mouth. She gasps, and it''s music to my ears. I slide my hand toward her pussy, brushing my fingers along her lips and spreading her open.

    I rub her clit and watch as her body begins to move against my hand, looking for the release it knows I can give her.

    *Does that feel good, baby?" My voice is raspy with need, and I continue ying with her.

    "Yes." Her back arches.

    I grin against the skin at her neck. "Answer my question or I''ll stop."

    *You wouldn''t."

    I suck the sensitive skin on her neck, biting lightly, then letting go.

 Chapter 482

    ?

    Chapter 0482 *Try me."

    She bites her lip, and to prove my point, I start to pull my finger out of her.

    "You," Her voice is low, almost nervous.

    My eyes rt up to hers, and I can see the nervousness there. I''m shocked but happy at the same time. I don''t remember that night clearly. I didn''t really think she was a virgin when we first slept together.

    "After Liam, has there been anyone else?"

    Amelia shakes her head, and her cheeks blush again. I really don''t care if it''s just Liam or three other guys, plus Liam. I feel territorial about her and want to erase his touch from her bodypletely.

    I slide my fingers back inside her tight opening, thrusting hard enough that a gasp leaves her lips. My palm slides against her clit at the same time, until she''s riding my hand and panting, her skin pink and slightly sweaty.

    Hearing her admit it felt like a bullet to the heart, but I was expecting it, and in the end, it doesn''t matter. One guy or five, none of them matter anymore. I wasn''t the only man to have had her, but I damn sure will be herst. Harper was made for me.

    *You. Are. Mine," I remind her, punctuating each word while my finger hooks to rub against her G-spot.

    She cries out her orgasm against my lips, and I swallow down her pleasure. Before shees downpletely, I slide between her legs, my hands anchoring on her hips before bringing my face to her opening. She''s wet and glistening, just for me.

    "I want to hear you say it, Harper," I warn her, before kissing her clit.

    She jumps at the contact, her skin already sensitive.

    "Open your eyes and watch."C¨®ntent belong to N?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    Her eyes ze while she looks at me. Her gaze is hooded while I lick and suck at her pussy, drinking from her, tasting her.

    "Gabriel," my name is torn from her lips, "oh, fuck."

    "Let me hear you, baby," I tell her, before diving back in, biting her clit beforepping at it with my tongue. "Say it."

    Her chest rises and falls as I continue tormenting her, keeping her right on the edge.

    "I''m yours. Gabriel, Gabriel," she repeats while I use my tongue to push her over the edge until shees hard, all over my face, her juices dripping to my chin.

    "Good, girl," I praise her, realizing how much I love her this way.

    Needy andpletely dependent on me giving her pleasure. Her legs fall away, and I shift up, until I''m lying above her tiny body, framing her face with my arms, consuming her space, ready to im more of her.

    Harper''s breathing is heavy, her pupils are blown, and the afterglow of her orgasm fills the space between us. Her hair fans out over the nkets and pillows. Her eyes glisten. She''s perfect beneath me. She''s fucking breathtaking.

    She bites her lip, her tiny hands moving up to my shoulders, holding on. I grab her leg, angling it up and hooking it around my hip, before slowly pushing in.

    "I''m not on the pill" she screams, just before I can fully thrust inside her.

    Im inside her in one move. "I. Don''t. Care. I don''t want anything between us and if today leads to another baby, then thank fuck because I want to add to our little family."

    "Gabriel," she moans my name, her grip on my shoulders biting.

    "You''re so fucking tight. Damn, so fucking wet, so fucking perfect." I thrust, closing my eyes for a brief moment at the feel of her inside wrapped around me.

    Once my hips connect with hers, shivers run down my spine, and warmth spreads across my chest. My grey eyes connect with her obsidian-colored ones, and I can read the emotion in them.

    My mind reels, trying hard to grasp the enormity of the situation. The way she feels, the way she tastes, the trust and love in her gaze, it''s everything. It feels like how home should feel. I groan, leaning down to kiss her, and make love to her mouth while thrusting in and out of her wet heat.

    Harper gasps and moans against my lips, her legs moving to wrap around my lower back, her arms moving to hug my neck. I keep kissing her, exchanging breaths and air, as she clings to me.

    "It''s too much, Gabriel," she pants, and I kiss her through it, "I''m going to cum."

    *So cum, baby," I encourage her, holding my own release back while I drive deeper into her, hitting her clit with my pelvis.

    *Cum with me," She groans against my lips and practically screams her release into the room.

    Her pussy mps down, and I thrust a few more times in and out, until I can''t hold back any longer.

    "I fucking love you, Harper!" I roar, and I let go of my release deep within her core as my orgasm hits me hard. Everything was exactly how it was supposed to be. Perfect.

 Chapter 483

    ?Chapter 0483

    Emma.

    "Why do you think you refused to let go of Rowan? Why do you think you held on to him for years even knowing that he was married to Ava?"

    Mia''s question ys in my head as I try to think of a way to answer her. Why did I not let go of Rowan the

    moment he slept with Ava? Why had I kept holding on despite the fact that he married her and stayed with her for years?

    Sure, everyone told me how miserable he was. That he and Ava weren''t getting on well. That he treated her like she didn''t exist. Everyone told me that he still loved me and had refused to give Ava a chance.

    Looking back now though, I''m not as blinded as I was. Despite what everyone told me, he still chose to remain married to her. He could have asked for a divorce anytime he wanted. Hell, the moment Ava was out of school, a bit stable in her job and Noah was a bit older, he could have filed for a divorce. He would have been able to be there for Noah and support him without being married to Ava, yet he never once thought of leaving their marriage.

    I was surprised when I was told Ava was the one that filed for divorce. We all thought that if they were ever going to separate, it would be at Rowan''s demand, not Ava''s.

    *Emma?" her sweet voice pulls me back.

    "Because everyone around me gave me hope." I begin to exin. "I see it now. I wasn''t able to let go because even though I was miles away in a different city, everyone kept pulling me to the past by reminding me how Rowan was unhappy and miserable with Ava. How he was still in love with me and refused to give Ava and their marriage a chance."

    I fall back on my seat and just stare into space as I continue. "It gave me hope. It made me hold on to that hope, thinking our love was great. Otherwise, why would Rowan still hold on to me when he had a wife and son? It also didn''t help that, from when we were young, everyone, especially our mothers would tell us how good we looked together. That we''d make a beautiful couple."

    I curse internally as my mind wanders to the past. How much of our so-called love was actually love? Is it really love when you''ve been manipted to love and want someone? Is it love when you didn''t fall in love by your own design, but because of what your parents kept whispering in your ear?

    "I see," Mia whispers softly as she jots something down in her notebook. "And do you think you would have been happy with Rowan had you gotten a second chance? Would you have stayed together had he not slept with Ava? Would what you felt for each other endure real life?"

    Who said therapy was easy? It isn''t, not at all. It requires you to dig deep and find the answers that you''ve been running from. Answers that you didn''t want to hear so you pushed them down and buried them deep.

    Would we have been happy?

    "I don''t think so," I reply with a sigh. "We would have eventually grown up. Matured into different people. Different from the kids we were back then. We would have realized that we didn''t really love each other. That what we had was young, immature love. No, it wouldn''t have survived us growing up or real life or life away from our parents. We would have eventually realized that we were influenced into falling in love by our mothers, but it wasn''t the real deal."

    It had been painfuling to this conclusion two years ago, but I epted the truth for what it was. Rowan would always be my first love. At least, what I thought love was, at that age.Content belong to N?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    "And why did you keep Calvin at arm''s length?" she pushes, refusing to give me the chance to collect my thoughts.

    *The same reason I held on to Rowan. I had hope that Rowan would eventually be mine. That we would eventually get back together. I didn''t want him to find me in love with someone else when it was finally time for him to chase me down."

    *And do you think that was fair to Calvin?"

    "No, it wasn''t," I push the words past my throat which was clogged with emotion.

    "I want you to listen to me, Emma," she began as gently as she could. "What you did to Calvin wasn''t right. You strung him along for years. He could have moved on with his life. Found somebody to love and cherish him, yet you did to him what your family did to you. You kept giving him false hope. You kept leading him to believe that there was a chance between you two every time you went to seekfort in his arms."

    My heart lurches in agony when her words hit me. It feels like someone is repeatedly stabbing my heart with a butcher knife. I can''t stop the tears as they fall down my face. No wonder he didn''t want anything to do with me.

    "You used him, Emma," she continues in a soft non-judgemental voice. "He deserved love after loving you for so long. He deserved a woman whose heart and hopes weren''t tethered somewhere else. You should have let him go early on because you put him through the same kind of pain that Rowan put Ava through."

    I curl into myself as her words hit me like bullets. I was a terrible person. I don''t have an excuse for what I put a good man through. I can''t me this on my family. I stopped being a child and I should have realized that something had developed between Rowan and Ava the moment they continued staying married for years.

 Chapter 484

    ?Chapter 0484

    Hell, I should have let go the moment Rowan decided to marry Ava. He didn''t have to, but he did, because maybe deep down, something different was working inside him. I should have moved on the moment I realized there wasn''t a future between us.

    I hate myself because Mia just showed me the extent to which I broke Calvin. He did nothing but love me, while I used him and kept him tethered to me instead of letting him go.

    "I think that''s enough for today," Mia says once I''m calmer and my crying has stopped.

    Today was brutal, but it also shed a lot of light for me.

    "Thank you," I sniff, and wipe my nose with the tissue she gives me.

    "Anytime," she replies. "Now, I''ll see you the day after tomorrow."

    Following my fourth session, we had agreed that I''d be seeing her every other day. I had a lot to unpack and she felt that was the best course of action. Once I was more stable, my sessions would start to dwindle a bit.

    After giving her hand a squeeze, I walk out of her office, and out of the building.

    I didn''t really feel like going home, so I just hop into my car and drive around, not really sure where the hell I was going.

    When Ie to a stop, I''m surprised to find myself outside Calvin''s offices. I am not sure if he''s even around. He has a constructionpany. He''s the boss, but he likes being at the sites. He likes working with his hands and not just sitting behind a desk all day long.

    What the hell am I doing? I keep asking myself as I get out of my car and walk towards the building. I should turn back, but I can''t seem to stop my legs from moving.

    His office was on the first floor, so I take the stairs hoping it would give me time to rethink my decision and back out.

    I get to his floor and immediately head to his office. I push open the ss door, just as his secretary turns to me. "How may I help you?" she smiles politely and in a weing manner.

    "I''m here to inquire about your services. I''m thinking of renovating my house."

    Did I sound convincing? The pounding of my heart is the only sound I could hear above the ringing of my ears.

    "Sure, no problem." She replies. "The boss is here today so you can speak to him. What''s your name?"

    *Anna White," I lie while trying to hide my grimace.

    *Just a moment," she types something on her keyboard before raising her head. "You can go in."

    She points me in the direction of an office that is on the opposite side. Despite knowing where his offices are, this is the first time I''ve been here.

    I give her an appreciative nod and then walk towards Calvin''s office. I knock before pushing the door open.

    Stepping in, I find him bent over his desk working on some papers.Content belong to N?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    "How can I help you, Anna? Is it okay if I called you Anna? I don''t know if you are married or not. I don''t want to be disrespectful."

    His eyes widen, and he freezes in his chair when he pulls his eyes from the papers he was working on, and they fall on me.

    "What the hell are you doing here?" he growls, gone is the friendly tone he had used a few seconds ago.

    "I''m sorry," I blurt out before I can chicken out. "I''m sorry for what I did to you. I''m sorry for hurting you. I''m sorry

    for denying you a chance to move on and find a better woman. I''m sorry for holding you back. I''m sorry for using you. I''m sorry for the years of pain I''ve put you through. You are a good man, Calvin, and you didn''t deserve the shit I put you through."

    I stand rooted near his closed doors, my hand trembling and heart aching. His eyes are wide in shock, but that doesn''t deter me as I continue.

    *You deserved to be loved, Calvin. You deserved a woman that put you first. You deserved the world. You still do. I''ve never apologized, and I know apologizing doesn''t fix shit, but I just wanted to let you know that I am sorry. I''m sorry for taking advantage of your life and not seeing the amazing man you are. If I could take back how I treated you, I would, because you are an amazing man and father and any woman would be lucky to have you. It''s just too bad I hurt you in the process and realized this toote."

    Before he can recover from the shock of my words, I turn, open the door and leave. I keep my head down as I pass his secretary''s desk. I don''t want her to see the tears that streak down my cheeks.

    Like I said, apologies don''t always fix everything, but it was a start. Calvin deserved to know that I am sorry for what I did to him. That I regret what I did to him.

 Chapter485

    ?Chapter 0485 Hey Loves,

    Today there won''t be an update because of a pressing issue.

    So I''ve read yourments and I want your honest opinion. I get your concerns and I pride myself in listening to my readers because without you, then why am I even writing?

    First of all, I rushed to finish this book because a lot of you, my lovely readers thought that the book has been going on for so long and they wanted me toplete it. But now, there is a different group that wants me topeletly be done with this book before starting on Noah''s.

    As much as I wanted to give all the couples closure in this book, I''d nned for some of the questions to be answered in Noah''s book...You have all given me food for thought though, and that''s why I wanted you opinion.

    1. Let me know if you want Gabriel and Harper''s story to be a bit longer. I know some of you thought it was rushed, so give me your honest opinion if you want their book extended or if you are okay with how it ended, even though there would have been an epilogue.

    2. On, Emma and Calvin, should they have a second chance or should they move on to different people. Some think Emma is irredeemable especially given her treatment of Gunner, and feel Calvin should move on with someone else, while others think, just like with the previous couples, they should also get a second chance. ¡ú

    I can alternate between the two couples if that''s what you want. Just let me know.

    About Travis and Letty, they are still together, but I you are all right. There is a lot to unpack with the families. Especially the Sharps'' and Ava.

    I''m sorry if some of you thought I''ve been butchering and rushing the book. It was honestly not my intention to let you down espcially after all the support you have given.

    Please let me know your thoughts. If you want me to extend Gabriel and Harper, Calvin and Emma''s books just let me know and your wish will be mymand. Noah''s book will take a back burner until every single detail with these couples and thier families have been put to rest. I pride myself with my work and I don''t want this to just be another book where my readers are left unsatisfied.

    Ps; If there are any other concerns that aren''t mentioned, please table them in thement section and I''ll adress them.

    Looking forward to hearing your thoughts. Take care and stay safe. Love?

 Chapter 486

    ?Chapter 0486

    Calvin.

    When I woke up this morning, I never expected Emma toe to my office to apologize. Actually, after mming the door in her face thest time I saw her, I didn''t expect to ever see her again.

    I thought that day would be the end. That would be thest time I ever saw her again. I know Emma, and I know she isn''t good with rejections. I expected her to slither away and never show her face to me or my son again.

    Instead, she surprised me. It''s been what? Just a couple of weeks, and she''s back. This time with an apology instead of pleading for a chance to see Gunner. I''ve never seen Emma apologize. She just takes what she wants, being unapologetic about it.

    *Boss, should I add Anna as a potential client?" My secretary, Ba asks, walking into my office. "She seemed to be in a hurry and left before I could ask her contact details."

    I was too stunned to function. This is the first time Emma has managed to catch me off guard. I hate it just as I am impressed by it.

    "Don''t bother," I reply, shaking myself from my shock. "She isn''ting back."

    I don''t why I don''t tell her to make sure never to let Emma into my office again. That would be the best course of action, but I decide against it.

    "You can have your lunch break, Ba," I tell her while checking my watch. "I''ll be leaving in a few."

    "Okay, Cal,"

    She then walks out of my office, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I had a lunch date in the next thirty minutes, but my excitement suddenly dropped in the wake of Emma showing up.Content belong to N?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    I won''t lie. I''ve struggled with my feelings for Emma. There are times when I think I hate her. Then there are times when I''m just numb and don''t feel anything. There are also times when I feel everything. The pain and the heartache. They are so overwhelming that I feel like I''m drowning in them.

    If I am being honest with myself, I''ll admit that my love for her isn''tpletely dead. I wish it were, but it''s not, so I just pretend like I''m over her. I pretend that I no longer love her.

    I cut myself off from Emma because of Gunner. I did what I did for him. What kind of man would I be teaching him to be when he saw me being led by a fucking leash? What kind of man would I be teaching him to be when he finally bes old enough to understand things?

    That it''s okay to allow a woman to use you? That it''s okay to allow a woman to toy with your heart and emotions? That''s it''s okay to keep chasing a woman like a love sick puppy even though she loves someone else?

    I didn''t want Gunner growing up to think I was weak because of all the shit I allowed Emma to get away with. I didn''t want Gunner growing up surrounded by a toxic kind of love. It would have imprinted itself on him and that''s the kind of love he would seek because that''s what he was used to.

    Standing up, I collect my wallet and car keys before leaving my office.

    "Will you being back?" Ba asks when I pass by her desk.

    "Not likely," I answer. "But I''ll let you know if I change my mind."

    I leave after she tells me goodbye.

    My head is still in turmoil even after getting out of my office building and into my car. The drive to the restaurant is a blur. I couldn''t get Emma''s words out of my head.

    I park my car, get out and walk into the homey restaurant. Thankfully, my lunch date had yet to arrive. It would give me time to get my emotions in check and get myself under control. Emma has already taken so much from me. I couldn''t allow her to take anymore.

 Chapter 0487

    ?Chapter 0487

    "Hi, Calvin," her cheery voice pulls me from my thoughts.

    I smile and stand up. I give her a hug and then peck her rosy cheeks.

    I met Kinley by chance at a convention building and construction convention. She''s an architect. We just clicked in a way I never sawing. Her witty and charming ways drew me in the moment she sat down beside me.

    She was bold when she asked for my number after the convention was over. I was still trying to heal from cutting off Emma from my life, but for some reason I ended up typing in my number on her phone.

    "I hope I didn''t keep you waiting," she says in a sweet voice while I pull out the chair for her.

    I smile before taking my own seat, "Not at all,"

    *First of all, how is Gunner?" she asks, leaning forward, adoration in her gaze. "I miss him so much!"

    We started out as friends. Texting once in a while. She would send me random funny videos that would always put a smile on my face. Our chats were simple and mainly consisted of checking up on the other.

    Slowly we graduated to something more. The text messages happened each day instead of just a few days a week. Then we graduated to calls... and before I knew it, we were meeting up for lunch dates. tonic lunch dates.Content belong to N?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    It was easy being around her. I felt free. I felt like I could be myself around her. In her presence, I felt at peace. I didn''t have to worry about whether she was thinking of another man like Emma. I didn''t have to worry whether she wasparing me to the love of her life. I didn''t have to hide being with her.

    I loved being around her and when I was around her, I didn''t have to think about my pain or heart break. I didn''t have to think about Emma,

    I''ve only ever loved one woman, but given time, I could see myself loving Kinley. She was warm and theplete opposite of Emma.

    None of us had broached the subject, but there was something that drew me to her. Sometimes I think she wants more... And there are times I think I want more, but I hold back because I don''t want to give her false hope until I''m sure she''s the one I want. I don''t want to string her along like Emma did to me.

    *Calvin?"

    "Sorry, I am a bit distracted today," I mumble before pulling myself together. "Gunner is doing great. He was actually asking about you the other day."

    The day I caught Emma spying on us at the restaurant was the first day I introduced Gunner to Kinley. They immediately took to each other like fish to water. It was amazing to watch because Gunner isn''t always open to other people.

    "We should n a trip to the amusement park!" she gushes, her voice brimming with excitement.

    I just stare at her beautiful face. Her green eyes were shining in pure happiness. Joy was literally radiating off from her. I could feel it as it drove my darkness away.

    "He''d love that," I whisper still captivated by the woman sitting before me.

    Our waiter arrives and we order. She fills me in on how her day has been. Kinley is a chatter box, but I don''t mind. I don''t mind it at all. I love listening to her voice because she talks so passionately that she pulls you in.

    Just like always, she manages to make me forget all about Emma for the rest of our lunch together. By the time we were leaving, I felt lighter and it felt fucking amazing.

    As I kissed her cheek and said goodbye, I couldn''t help but wonder what it would be like, feel like, if I fell in love with her.

 Chapter 488

    ?

    Emma

    I was back in therapy with Mia. I still can''t believe that I went to Calvin''s office and apologized. If I am being honest, when ites to Calvin, I''ve never done anything so bold before.

    *Emma?"

    I stop staring at the wall and focus on Mia. My head was still in a mess, but slowly I felt like I was starting to piece things together.

    "Yes?"

    *You were telling me that you apologized to Calvin," she pushes her sses up her nose.

    The humidifier made soft noises as it pushed the calming scent ofvender into the surrounding air. I felt rxed. I felt like I was floating. Maybe it was time for me to invest in aromatherapy because, so far, I liked how it made me feel.

    "Yes, I did," I answer after pulling myself from the hazy stupor. "You made me realize that I was wrong in how I treated Calvin and even though I had acknowledged my wrongs, I''ve never apologized to him."

    "And how did you feel after apologizing to him?"

    "A bit lighter."

    I thumb my fingers through my hair, before cing them on myp. I stare at my nails. They were short and in. Not my usual well done. I don''t even remember thest time I went to get my nails done. That''s how far I''ve let myself go.

    "I know it''s a big step you took, and I am proud of you," she pauses, and I know there is a ''but''ing. "But, you have to realize that apologizing may not be enough. You have to ept that Calvin may never forgive you and that''s his prerogative. You can''t fault him for that."

    I sigh. She didn''t have to exin it to me. I already understand. It''s simr to Ava. She had the right to forgive or leave Rowan. She chose to forgive him, but even if she hadn''t, it would still have been her right. Her choice. Everyone would have had to ept it whether they liked it or not.

    "I know that, Mia," say once again, staring at my hands. "I epted that he may never forgive me."

    *And what will you do if Calvin and Gunner decide not to forgive you? What will you do if they decide against having you back in their life?"

    I knew there was that possibility, but for the longest time I didn''t want to consider it. I didn''t want to let my mind wander into that territory because it scared the crap out of me.Content belong to N?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    I want to be in my son''s life. I want to be a mother to him. I want to be there for him. It scares me that I might just have lost that chance forever.

    Her question keeps ringing in my head as I try to think of an answer. As I try to dig deep ande up with a genuine reply.

    "I don''t know," I finally say. A sarcasticugh leaves my lips as something clicks in my head. "You know it''s really hypocritical of me to say that right now. If you had asked me this question two years ago, I would have just shrugged and told you it didn''t matter. That in the grander scheme of things, it wouldn''t have mattered to me. Now though, things are different."

    A sharp pain cuts through my heart as the words leave my mouth.

    "How are things different now?"

    *I care. I''ve allowed myself to care for him. To love him. I''d continue fighting tooth and nail for a chance to be in his life. I''d push and push, even though deep down I know I should let him have a life away from me given the way

    I treated him."

    It''s sad really. I was ready to walk away from Gunner and forget he existed. I mean hell, I did walk away. I gave him up. Even when I pictured Rowan and I getting a second chance, I never once pictured Gunner in my life. I didn''t n on being in his life even then.

    Hiding my face in my hands, I try to fight back the tears. I was a horrible mother. But am I really a mother? Just because I gave birth to him doesn''t make me a mother. In his eyes, I''m probably a monster.

 Chapter 489

    ?Chapter 0489

    Ava gave him the kind of motherly love hecked from me. The kind of love he longed for me to give him. I see it now. The moment he met Ava. The moment she took him in, even before the truth came out. It''s the moment he gave up on me. It''s the moment Gunner stopped caring about a rtionship between us.

    "I hear you Emma." Mia gives me a tissue. "I do hear you, but I have to ask, where was this same determination back then? Why did you refuse to have a rtionship with Gunner?"

    I''ve asked myself the same question over and over again.

    For eight years, I denied his existence. For eight years, I treated him like he didn''t matter. For eight fucking years I held him at arm''s length.

    "I know it''s a stupid reason now that I think about it, but back then I didn''t want anything or anyone reminding me of the life I had when Rowan and I were separated. To me, Gunner was a mistake. He never should have been conceived. I didn''t want my life with Rowan to be shadowed by the child I had with another man. I wanted to remain perfect in Rowan''s eyes."

    *Pardon my bluntness, but isn''t that stupid given Rowan had a child with Ava? Much the same with you, Ava''s pregnancy was unnned, but even if you and Rowan had ended up together, he wouldn''t have pushed Noah aside."

    And that, right there. Her words shame me to the core.

    She''s right. Rowan would never have pushed Noah aside for my sake. Hell, he broke off our rtionship when he learned all the shit I''d spouted about Noah. Yet I was willing to walk away from my son. Who am I kidding? I walked out on him the moment he was born.

    I rub my chest as the pain intensifies. I felt raw. Like my chest had been ripped wide open for everyone to witness the sins I carried.

    How can I even think of mending my rtionship with Gunner after this? Mia just showed me what a horrible person I was to a little boy. Not just any little boy, but my son.Content belong to N?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    "I''m not here to shame you, Emma, or judge you. Apart from helping you heal; my work is to point a mirror in your direction so you can truly see yourself. It''s to help youe to terms with your mistakes and help you forgive yourself. My work is to drill in some hard truths so it can help you move on with your life."

    She pauses, her eyes searching mine while I fight back my tears. "What you did to Gunner, to your own son isn''t right. You would have scarred that boy for life much like Ava''s past experiences with your family had scarred her. How do you think he felt every time you ignored him? Every time you treated him like he was nothing? Every time you pushed him away. He is a child, Emma, that kind of emotional pain has probably done a lot of damage to that little boy."

    My breath catches and I find it hard to breathe. My throat is clogged with emotions and I feel like my soul has been battered.

    I didn''t want to hear her. I want to escape her words. Words that feel like pointed arrows aimed towards my already bleeding heart. I couldn''t stop the heart-wrenching pain that consumed me.

    If I had thought I knew what pain was when I found out Rowan had slept with Ava, then I was wrong. That was nothingpared to what I was feeling right now.

    This was gut-wrenching. Soul crashing. I don''t know how to recover from it.

    Mia looks at me sympathetically. "I think you''ve had enough for today."

    Her words passed over me. My ears were ringing, and I could barely hear anything above the sound of my breaking heart.

    It crashes me knowing I did the same thing to Gunner that my parents did to Ava.

    How could I ever face him after this? Maybe I didn''t deserve him. Maybe I didn''t deserve a second chance.

 Chapter 490

    ?Chapter 0490

    Mia''s words still continued to ring in my head even as I headed for my car. The truth had been brutal. It wasn''t easy to swallow the bitter pill, but swallow it I must.

    Instead of peeling out of the parking lot like I usually do, I just sit in my car and allow the tears to fall. I couldn''t stop them even if I wanted to. The space fills with the sounds of my cries. My sobs are torn from deep within as the weight of all my actions crash me.

    My head falls against the steering wheel because I can no longer hold it up. I wore my shame like a second skin. It was embedded deep inside me like a fucking tattoo.

    Why did I let it get that far? Why did I hurt him like that? Why did I allow my selfishness to taint the bond I could have had with Gunner?

    Why. Why. Why?

    If I knew one day I would long to hold Gunner in my arms. To be in his life. To have him call me mom. I would have held on to him like he was a lifeline... But that''s the thing about hindsight. It''s a bitch.

    My lips tremble as I sob. Guilt racks my body, jolting me as if I''ve been electrocuted. I want to scream. I want to hit something. I want to curl up in a ball and just die. It hurts. It fucking hurts and I don''t know how to stop the pain.

    I allow myself to cry until there are no more tears. Until my tear dam is empty. I''m not sure how long I stay there crying, but when I''m calmer, I turn the ignition and drive off.

    I''m a mess, I won''t deny that. But it''s not just because I''ve been crying my eyes out for thest couple of minutes. Hell, it''s hours, given I''ve been crying since I got into Mia''s office.

    How do you fix things when you''ve messed up so badly? Where do I even begin? It would be easier if it had been a couple of months'' worth of damage to fix, but it''s years. Years worth of damage.

    I''ve missed a lot of things. His first word. His first walk. His first day of school. His first time saying mommy. I missed his first birthday, and those since then. How do I make up for that? How?

    The whole drive home is spent thinking. Thinking of all the things I could have done. Thinking of how I could have handled things differently. I regret a lot of things, but my biggest regret is how cruel I was to Gunner. He didn''t deserve to be scorned by his own mother.

    The whole ride is a blur, but thankfully I don''t get into any trouble. I was so lost in my head that it was a wonder didn''t get into an ident.

    I drive into our estate, the iron gates closing behind me with a kind of finality I feel is reflected in my life right now. Part of me feels like there isn''t hope. That I should give up on my rtionship with Gunner. That it''s toote to fix what I broke. The stronger part of me, though, doesn''t want to give up. It doesn''t want to let go just yet.Content belong to N?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    I pull the car to the front of the house and park. Getting out, I rush inside our family home.

    *You''re back earlier than I expected," mom''s warm voice greets me.

    I crash into her and hug her for dear life. I''m past thirty years old, but at this moment, I feel like a little girl who needs her mommy to make things right in her world.

    "I can tell today''s session wasn''t easy" she whispers while smoothing down my hair.

    Shaking my head, I hug her tighter. I thought that my tears had finally dried, but I was wrong. Once again, they begin pouring, drenching my mom''s shoulder.

    Mom pulls me away from her before guiding me to the couch. Once there, she pushes us down on it, before pulling my head down. I ball up in a fetal position, with my head on herp.

    "It''s going to be alright, Emma. Everything is going to work itself out," she whispers while her fingers gently run through my hair.

    I wanted to believe her. I really did. Some part of me was doubtful though. Everything just seemed bleak right now. When my eyes were dry and there weren''t any tears, I lift my head from mom''sp just as the doorbell rings.

    "I''ll get it" I tell mom as I try to wipe any evidence of my breakdown.

    I wasn''t really sure who it was, since I didn''t have anyone to visit me, but I knew it was probably one of my mom''s friends.

    My jaw literally falls down when I open the door.

    "I honestly have no idea what I''m doing here. I was just driving, and I ended uping here." Ava mumbles nervously, her eyes moving from me to behind her where her car is parked.

    "Come in," I whisper in a hoarse voice, probably because of crying too much.

 Chapter 491

    ?Chapter 0491

    Giving her car onest look, she steps in. She then stops for a while as her eyes move around the space.

    It''s probably been years since shest stepped foot in this house. Thest time I think she did was after she was shot during dad''s burial.

    Her eyes are haunted. I can see the shadows ying behind them. The burden of the tarnished memories she carried of this house and the people in it. Would Gunner carry the same shadows because of me? Because of what I did?

    I didn''t want that.

    I wasn''t around much after she and Rowan got married, but I was there when we were younger. I''m not proud to say just like everyone else, I ignored her. We were supposed to be sisters, yet I treated her like she didn''t belong. Just like everyone else.

    Looking at her now, I see what Mia was talking about. Ava was still haunted. Still scarred by how she was treated since she was a child. She didn''t deserve any of it.

    "I''m sorry" I whisper, my voice clogging with emotions.

    Her haunted stare bes confused as she focuses on me. "For what?"

    *The painful memories you are probably battling right now," I answer. "We didn''t treat you well. You were a kid, and even though Travis and I were following our parents, we had a choice to treat you differently when we got older. I''m sorry for the pain and heartache this family has caused you, Ava. I''m sorry we scarred your heart and soul."Content belong to N?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    She tries to fight it. It''s in her eyes. She tries to push down the tears and emotions. She doesn''t want to be weak. I get her. Especially in a ce that has a lot of painful memories for her.

    *Emma, why are you taking so-*

    We turn to mom, who was now frozen as her eyes fixed on Ava.

    "Ava?" she asks as if she needs confirmation. As if she''s not sure if this is real or not.

    "Hi" Ava gives a little wave while answering in an unsure voice.

    By just looking at the way she keeps shifting from one foot to the other. Or the way her hands are trembling, and she keeps ying with her rings. Or even the way she''s holding herself stiffly. I can tell she''s ufortable here. That it has taken everything in her toe her.

    Would it be weird if I said I was proud of her for taking this ufortable yet needed step?

    *W-Would you like some tea?" mom asks in a trembling voice.

    I know Ava being here is huge for her. For a long time she has wanted to mend things, but Ava wouldn''t let her.

    "No, thank you" she whispers, and mom''s face falls. "This is all I can handle today, m-maybe next time?"

    "Absolutely!" Mom all but yells in an excited voice.

    The fact that she said ''maybe next time'' gives mum hope. It gives me hope too. Hope that they can fix things between them. She wasn''t the best mom to Ava, but she did raise her... and she loved her in her own way.

    "I''ll be going, bye," with that, she rushes out as if hellhounds were after her.

    I look at the door and then back at mom who has a silly smile on her face. It just showed how happy she was that Ava hade.

    Like I said, it was a bold step for Ava toe here. The one ce that caused her a lot of pain. If she could take that bold step, then why couldn''t I do the same for Gunner? He is my son, and I''ll be damned if I give up on him.

    An idea strikes me at that moment, and I rush outside to catch up with Ava before she can leave. It is freaking crazy, but it''s a start. One that I am hoping will bear good fruits.

    "Ava, wait," I shout, just as she was starting to pull away.

    "Is something wrong?" she asks, after stopping the car.

    I shake my head. "I was just wondering if you still have your house. The one neighboring Calvin."

    I cross my fingers hoping she says yes. Hoping she hasn''t sold it yet.

    "Yes," her brows scrunch down in confusion.

    Breathing a sigh of relief, I close my eyes for a brief second. "Could you rent it to me? Please. It''s time I fixed things."

    Her eyes widen for a fraction before they begin shining.

    "I could rent it to you, but there is no need. You can use it for however long you need, Emma. Juste by when you are ready and I''ll hand over the keys."

    I feel my eyes tearing. "Thank you so much."

    "Gunner deserves to know his mother. I''m grateful that you''ve finally pulled your head out of your ass and are willing to fight for a rtionship with him." she beams, making me chuckle at her choice of words.

    She''s right though. Instead of moaning about how shitty the world has been to me. It is time I fought for my son, and that begins by getting my life back together and proving to him, I''m worth being his mom.

 Chapter 492

    ?Chapter 0492

    Harper.

    It''s been close to two weeks since Gabriel made me promises that shattered every reservation, I had about giving him a second chance.

    I swear, I never thought I could be this happy.

    My life with Liam was good, but with Gabriel, it''s better. Maybe because Gabriel is the man I loved. The man my heart held on to for almost a decade.

    I would be lying if I said that I wasn''t scared. There was still the small part of me that expected the other shoe to drop. After all, it wouldn''t be the first time in my life that a loved one has been taken away from me.

    There is also the fear that this is all too easy, you know. Like shouldn''t it be a bit harder? A bit more difficult. A bit more challenging... or is that just my self-sabotaging tendencies talking?

    Maybe I am so used to not having things going my way, which just makes me question things when they do.

    "What are you working on?" Gabriel pops out of nowhere, scaring the crap out of me.

    With my hand on my chest, I try to calm my racing heart. "Don''t sneak up on me like that."

    "I didn''t," he says, his eyes shing in amusement. "I''ve been calling you for more than a minute. You were just staring into space."

    That night at the g, right after that first round, Gabriel continued for two more rounds. We slept and just when I thought it was over, he woke me up for a few more rounds. I swear, by morning, my legs were like jelly.

    I''ll forever count it as one of my best nights. There is just something about your husband whispering sweet nothings to you while buried deep inside you. He would alternate between sweet and straight up dirty talk. My mind could barely keep up, but I loved every single second of it.

    *Harper?"Content belong to N?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    I focus on his handsome face. This is a dreame true, but there is a small part of me that keeps insisting that I gave in too quickly. It keeps insisting that I should have given it more time.

    "Sorry," I mumble pulling my eyes away from him to stare at the papers in front of me. "I''ve just been thinking of how to take Unity Ventures to the next level,"

    He takes a seat right next to me on the dining table.

    "May I?" he motions to the papers that I''d been scribbling on and I nod.

    "Any ideas?" he asks after a couple of minutes.

    *Not many. The only one I have is to turn it into what its names suggest. Unity Ventures. Meaning we will be all- rounded. We won''t just be focused on buying and selling property. We can also incorporate architecture, building and construction, and interior andndscape design."

    His sh to mine. My joy swells deep inside me at the look of pride he gives me.

    I never really intended to be part of my family''spany. It was never in my dreams to join it and be part of the running team. That was always Andrew''s dream. It''s just too bad he never got to realize his dream.

    Part of me mes my father. If he hadn''t run thepany down, maybe Andrew wouldn''t have been so busy trying to save it to realize that he was sick. By the time he did get diagnosed with stage four prostate cancer, my parents were dead, and we didn''t have enough money for his treatment.

    I tried begging him to seek help from Gabriel once Gabriel and I were married, but like the proud idiot he was, he refused.

    So yes, I do love my father, but I also put the me on him for Andrew''s death.

    Unity Venture was his dream. He may not be here today, but I''ll make sure it seeds in honor of him.

    "I''m really impressed," Gabriel says, interrupting my thoughts.

    *Thank you."

    *Maybe Ava can be your first client," he says thoughtfully. "She did say she''d like you to do the interior of one of her hope houses. Working with her will push you to higher heights because her foundation is really big."

    *Yeah, but she has never mentioned it again, so that leaves me with nil."

    I don''t know about you, but I am not the kind of person who will go bother someone because of something like that. If you need my services, then you''lle to me.

    Gabriel grabs my hand in his warm one. "Love, you are in business now, and you have to understand this is a eat or get eaten kind of world. You want something, you go for it with all you''ve got. You don''t wait for it toe to you."

    "But-"

    "No," he silences me assertively. "Working with Ava is a big project, one you can''t miss out on. So don''t wait for her to reach out; when you meet again for a lunch date, remind her about it. Better yet, you can call her and just ask her about."

    The thought of doing that is giving me anxiety. Gabriel doesn''t understand that I am not made from the same cloth that he is. He''sfortable going after what he wants; I am not. I feel morefortable just waiting for it toe to me, and if it doesn''t, then I count my losses and move on to something else.

    By the piercing look he is giving me, I know he''s not going to take no for an answer.

    "I''ll think about it," I concede and give him the only answer I can.

    "That''s better than a straight no," he smiles. "And if you need anything, any help, let me know. We Woods have a lot of business connections."

    I want to do this on my own without his family''s name backing me up. This is my family''s legacy. As bad as it may sound, I don''t want any other family to take credit for its sess.

    I know Gabriel has taken care of it these past few years, and I am grateful, but I am now in charge of it. Going forward, I want to seed by my own merit.

    "And by the way, my parents areing over for dinner tomorrow."

    My eyes snap to him. "And you''re just telling me now!"

    I ball a paper and throw it at him. He easily dodges it.

    *I forgot," With that, he gives me a mischievous wink before disappearing into his home office.

 Chapter 493

    ?Chapter 0493

    Harper.

    "I want you and Lilly to apany me somewhere," Gabriel announces.

    I was in our bedroom, folding clean clothes. Sure, we do have a housekeeper, but I am not used to sitting and twiddling my thumbs. It feels weird that I was used to doing everything by myself, and now there is someone else doing those things for me. I like keeping busy. I can''t spend the whole weekend doing nothing.

    "Your parent''s areing for dinner, Gabriel, or have you forgotten that?" I ask.

    I carry some of the folded clothes and walk into the walk-in closet, where I put them in the respective drawers. Gabriel, just like me, is really organized. Liam wasn''t, and that used to irritate me to the point of driving me mad.

    We were married, so we had to find a way to live together with each other''s ws. It wasn''t always easy, but we found a way topromise.

    Ie out of the closet to find him seated on the bed. He''s folding some of the clothes that were lying on the bed. "No, I haven''t forgotten," he answers, cing the folded cloth on top of the other bunch. "But they''ll be here in the evening. We have a couple of hours before then. More than enough."

    I stop what I''m doing and just stare at him. There was something in his eyes. There is a certain kind of gleam that I can''t exin.

    "What''s this about?" I ask suspiciously.

    *There is something I want you to see. It''s a surprise."

    I sigh. "I don''t really like surprises."

    In fact, I downright hated them. The thing I disliked about them is that you never know what you are getting. Either you like it or you don''t, and when you don''t like it, you have to pretend that you do.Content belong to N?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    It also doesn''t help that, for the longest time, my dad would surprise me with things Ipletely hated. He thought he knew me, but he really didn''t, given that he didn''t spend much time with me and Andrew. Anyway, because he thought he knew me, he bought me things he thought I would like when, in reality, I didn''t. He did the same thing with Andrew too.

    "You''ll love this one, I promise."

    I look at him anxiously and doubtfully. I want to continue pushing, but that gleam in his eyes stops me. He really does want to show us whatever it is he wants to show us.

    *Fine." I finally concede, marriage needspromise, right? This is mepromising.

    I pick up thest pile of clothes and walk to the closet. Once I''m done putting them away, Ie out.

    "Okay, let''s go," I say, pulling his attention from his phone.

    His eyes slowly scan my body before theye back to my face. "You are going out like that?"

    I look down at myself before looking back at him. "What''s wrong with what I am wearing?"

    *You are in an oversized t-shirt and sweat pants," he says hesitantly, his words measured. I narrow my eyes at him. "Yeah, so?"

    "Shouldn''t you change?" His voice is hesitant, but I can immediately feel my hackles rising.

    "Are you trying to tell me what I can and can''t wear, Gabriel?" My hands are fisted on my waist, and my eyes are ring at him.

    He swallows. "No!"

    "Good," I smile. "Now, are we going or not?"

    I was just turning, giving him my back when he muttered. "I swear you have me by the balls."

    "What did you say?" I swivel back around and narrow my eyes.

    His hands shoot up in surrender. "Nothing."

    I don''t say anything else; I just spin on my heels and leave, or else I''d burst outughing. It wasical to see Gabriel so nervous. I had trouble keeping a straight face for those few minutes. Of course I wouldn''t have changed, but it was fun ying with him.

    "Lilly," I call her while entering her room. "Your dad wants to take us somewhere, are you good to leave or should we give you a couple of minutes to get ready."

    "Where are we going?" she asks, putting her novel down.

    Thanks to Sierra, Lilly had started reading Harry Potter. Last week, she came home and insisted that I get her the first two books in the series. She told me they nned to read all nine books before moving to Percy Jackson.

    It still catches me off-guard any time I find her reading Harry Potter. She growing up so fast. She hasn''t touched any of her Dairy of a Wimpy Kid series or Dork Dairies.

 Chapter 494

    ?Chapter 0494

    Shaking myself, I push those thoughts back. "I don''t know. He says it''s a surprise.*

    "I love surprises!" she screams.

    "That makes one of us," I mumble. "Let''s just go."

    Lilly carefully puts her book down before jumping down from her bed. She takes my hand and pulls me from her room. We find Gabriel waiting for us by the door, his legs crossed at the ankles while his hands are folded across his broad chest.

    He is wearing a ck V-neck t-shirt that hugs his shoulder like a second skin. His thick thighs are encased in a Calvin Klein pair of jeans. There is something about him in that pose that makes him more attractive.

    *Like what you see?" Gabriel teases with a smirk, his words pulling me from my thoughts.

    "Hmm," I murmur.

    Lilly makes a clicking sound that reminds me that she''s present. "I know daddy is good-looking, but you two are disgusting."

    "Wait till you grow up and meet the man that makes your heart race," I tease her, pinching her cheeks softly." Every time you look at him dreamily, I''ll remind you of this day."Content belong to N?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    The air around us changes.

    *She''s not dating anyone until she''s eighty," Gabriel growls, all traces of fun and gamespletely gone.

    I fold my hands across my chest and mimic him. "She''ll probably start dating when she''s around sixteen or seventeen."

    *Not gonna happen,"

    I ignore his chilly tone and continue riling him up.

    *She''ll robably have her first kiss in middle school," I continue. "I had my first when I was twelve."

    *I''ll blow their faces if they so much bring their disgusting disease-filled little lips near her," he hisses, the sound so terrifying.

    This time, I can''t stop theughter that bubbles from deep inside me. Gabriel looked like he was going to have a heart attack just from the thought of Lilly dating.

    I would have added other things, like the fact that she might lose her virginity way before she joins college, but I stopped myself. She doesn''t know about sex yet, and that is not something I''m willing to talk to her about until she''s older. Old enough to understand.

    Plus, that would probably push Gabriel over the edge. I can honestly see him locking her up and scaring any boy within a mile radius of our daughter.

    I''ve thought a lot about how I''ll approach the birds and bees talk. Honestly, I''ll just tell her like it is and when she''s old enough, I''ll give her options. It''s not that I''ll be encouraging her to have sex, but I honestly feel giving her safe option is better than her ending up as a teenage mom. (No offense to teen moms.)

    Besides, teenagers are usually high on hormones. They''ll do whatever the fuck they want. You can warn them all you want, but if they want to have sex, they will. I''d rather it be safe sex.

    "Hold you horses, guys," Lilly''s voice pulls me from my thoughts. "I''m not going to get a boyfriend any time soon. I want to be a boss and run apany one day. I can''t focus on that if I am busy chasing stupid boys."

    "That''s my girl!" Gabriel shouts, then pulls her into his arms and pecks her grinning cheeks. "Boys are stupid. Money isn''t."

    I just shake my head at the duo and start for the door. They follow me and soon we are on the road.

    The whole ride is filled with chatter. Mainly from Lilly. Sometimes she scares me with how super focused she is. I don''t want her to be just another cold businesswoman who thinks about nothing else but work and making money.

    Sure, I want her to achieve her dreams. I want her to seed in life, but I also want her to find love. I want her to have the warmth of a loving and cloting husband and children.

    She reminds me so much of Gabriel and that scares me because the Gabriel I knew before was nothing but cold and ruthless.

    "We are here," Gabriel announces

    I look outside to find we were in front of a huge mansion.

    "What is this, Gabriel?" I ask, getting out and staring at the majestic house.

    *This is what I''m hoping will be our home," he answers, making my heart skip at the wishfulness in his tone.

 Chapter 495

    ?Chapter 0495

    I stare at him, dumbfounded. I try to speak but nothinges out of my mouth as my eyes keep shifting from Gabriel to the house.

    *This house is beautiful," Lilly screams, her excitement evident as she bounces from foot to foot, almost as if she is dying to leave us and go explore it. "Is this where we will be staying? Is this our new house?"

    Gabriel''s eyes leave mine and move to our daughter, who is grinning from ear to ear. "If your mother loves it, then yes, this will be our new home."

    My eyes move back to the house, staring at it with a bit of awe.

    The mansion stands majestically against a backdrop of rolling hills, its grandeur evident from every angle. It is harmonious blend of ssic and modern elements, featuring a pristine white marble exterior that glistens in the sunlight. Intricate stonework adorns the corners and arches, adding a touch of timeless elegance.

    The entrance is dominated by a pair of towering wooden doors, carved with ornate patterns and nked by fluted columns. Above the doors, a gracefully arched window with decorative wrought-iron grille allows natural light to spill into the grand foyer.

    Lush, manicured gardens surround the property, with vibrant flowerbeds creating a colorful mosaic against the greenwn. A cobblestone path leads up to the front entrance, bordered by neatly trimmed hedges and framed by clusters of blooming roses

    Tall, stately trees and carefully arranged topiaries lend a sense of privacy and seclusion, creating an enchanting atmosphere that invites both rxation and admiration. It gives an impression of refined opulence, where every detail has been crafted to exude sophistication and charm.

    "Gabriel..." I murmur, unable to form the words.Content belong to N?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    I''ve always wanted a house in a huge estate. I always imagined my kids ying in a massive backyard and running around with the dogs. I wanted a big family because it was just Andrew and me growing up, so a big estate yed an important role in the dreams I had. I also imagined having barbeques with friends and family along with their kids.

    How did Gabriel find out that this is the house and estate of my dreams?

    "Let''s first look inside before you make decision," he all but begs. "If you still don''t like, then we can find another house."

    I know he is nervous. Nervous that I''d reject this grand gesture. That I wouldn''t be on board with him on getting the house. The fact that I am quiet probably makes it seem like I''m not happy with the house. What he doesn''t know is that myck of speech is because this is exactly what I''ve always dreamed of since I was a little girl.

    I nod my head, eager to see what the inside has to offer. Lilly runs ahead of us, following the cobblestone path. She reminded me of Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz as she followed the yellow brick road.

    Gabriel links our hands together as he basically leads. I can feel his excitement radiating off him in waves. He''s like a little child, excited to show his parents his new toy. It made me smile because this is a big contrast to his dominant, serious and cold side.

    "Slow down, Gabriel" I tell him in amusement. "I''m going to trip if you keep rushing like that."

    He turns, not breaking his steps. "I could just carry you," he says, giving me a teasing smile.

    "Definitely not,"

    We finally catch up to Lilly, who was at the door, practically bouncing on her feet. It made meugh at how both father and daughter are excited.

    Gabriel pushes the wide doors open.

    Stepping inside the mansion, I am immediately enveloped in an atmosphere of understated luxury and elegance. The grand foyer sets the tone with its soaring ceilings and intricate moldings. A magnificent crystal chandelier hangs from the center. Rich, dark wood paneling contrasts with the marble.

    I let go of Gabriel''s hand and step further into the house.

    The openyout flows seamlessly into a series of opulent living spaces. To one side of the foyer, the formal living room is spacious and airy, with tall windows that frame views of the gardens outside. The room features a grand firece, its mantel adorned with intricate carvings and topped with arge, ornate mirror.

    Adjacent to the living room, the formal dining area exudes elegance with a stunning chandelier that echoes the design of the one in the foyer, while arge, tasteful rug anchors the space. Floor-to-ceiling windows provide natural light and a view of the manicured gardens.

    Turning I am greeted by the mansion''s gourmet kitchen, which is a blend of functionality and style, featuring top- of-the-line appliances seamlessly integrated into custom cabry. Arge central ind with a marble countertop serves as both a cooking and casual dining area. The kitchen includes a walk-in pantry, a wine cer, and elegant pendant lighting that adds a modern touch.

 Chapter 496

    ?Chapter 0496

    I spin around, just taking things in before finally facing Gabriel, who has an expectant look on his face.

    "This is huge, Gabriel." I could tell there were more rooms, but I would explore themter. "How many bedrooms does it have?"

    He crosses the short distance to me. "Eight bedrooms and two guest rooms."

    I am stunned into silence as I stare at him. Sure, growing up, we had a big house, but it was a five-bedroom house. That was more than enough.

    *Ten bedrooms is too much, Gabriel," I chuckle nervously. I mean, what the hell would we do with the rest of the room?

    He steps into my space before his arm wraps around my waist, pulling me to him. I ce my hands on his chest, feeling his heartbeat underneath them.

    "I was serious when I said I wanted more children, Harper." His eyes bore into mine. "This is me making ns ahead."

    *Oh my gosh! I''m going to have a sibling?" Lilly screams, interrupting the intimate atmosphere.

    We both turn to her, though Gabriel doesn''t let go of me. Her eyes are gleaming as she looks at us expectantly.

    "Not yet, but hopefully soon," Gabriel answers with a smile and a confidence that scares the crap out of me, especially when I remember we''ve been having unprotected sex.Content belong to N?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    Lilly''s shriek nearly leaves me deaf. Sheunches herself at both of us.

    "I''m going to be a big sister!" She runs around screaming, her voice echoing through the empty house.

    I re at Gabriel, who is smiling. "You do realize you''ve just raised her hopes."

    "Yes," he smiles and winks. "That''s because I know I can deliver."

    Sighing, I step out of his arms and look around me. "The house is still too huge."

    *I''ve thought about everything, Harper. Between us, my brother, and our friends, we will have a huge brood of children. Where will they sleep when there is a sleepover? Or one of them begs us to watch their kids so they can have some alone nights?"

    It made sense, honestly. I''ve gotten close to Ava, Connie, and Letty. Ava has two kids and another one on the way. Connie is currently pregnant, and from what I''ve heard of Reaper, he''s probably like Gabriel and Rowan. He''ll want more kids. Letty isn''t expecting yet, but I know she wants a family.

    Like Gabriel just said, between all of us, we will have a brood of children. There needs to be room for them to sleep in case those barbecues I was dreaming about runte. Or if the other couples decided to spend the night.

    *Can Sierra have a bedroom of her own for when she sleeps over?" Lilly, who was running around,es skidding to a halt in front of us.

    She pushes her hands up and links them together against her chin in a prayer gesture. She gives her puppy eyes that are so adorable and irresistible. She doesn''t use this move a lot, but when she does, she knows she gets whatever she wants.

    Gabriel looks at me as if asking if I am okay with it. It makes my heart skip a little that he''s asking for my opinion instead of just doing as he wishes, like before.

    *Sure, sweetheart, if that''s what you want and if your mom agrees to make this our new home," Gabriel answers her.

    Her smile widens, her happiness radiating through her, soaking the air around us.

    Both father and daughter turn to me.

    "What do you say, my love? Do you see us turning this house into our home?" Gabriel asks, his eyes looking at me expectantly.

    I just stare at him. His eyes are my favorite part of him. The way those grey orbs stare at me with so much emotion right now. So much expectancy. So much hope for our future. It honestly leaves me breathless.

    "Please, mommy," Lilly begs. For a moment, she slips, calling me mommy instead of mom.

    I pull my eyes away from them and look around the room. I can see it as if it were real. Lilly and her siblings are running around the furniture, ying. They scream in happiness as they tackle their father to the ground while watch from the kitchen.

    I smile. "Yes, I can see us turning this house into a home." I say this before adding. "Our home.

 Chapter 497

    ?Chapter 0497

    "Why did I let you two talk me into staying?" I ask in frustration while ring at Gabriel and Lilly. "Now we arete."

    The two didn''t look apologetic at all. Lilly was smiling, her eyes shining in happiness, while Gabriel was grinning. They both look satisfied with themselves.

    I sigh in defeat, wondering what I''ll do with these two. I can clearly see it. The father-daughter duo will always work together to overwhelm me. They''ll always gang up on me.

    I mock-re at Lilly, "Where''s the loyalty?"

    "You have to admit that it was fun, right?" She says instead, cing her hand on both mine and Gabriel''s seat.

    She''s so happy. In fact, she''s been a lot happier since we came back here. Sure, we used to be happy, but not this happy.

    Lilly had a rtionship with Liam, but it was nothing like what she has with Gabriel. Maybe it''s because he is her real father. Maybe it''s because they have a lot inmon. I don''t really know. All I know is that their rtionship just flows easily, unlike what she had with Liam.

    It''s hard to exin honestly, but I am so happy to see this free with Gabriel. She hasn''t forgotten Liam, though. She has his picture on her bedside table, and I once found her talking to him. It broke and mended my heart at the same time when I heard her telling him that she missed him, but he shouldn''t worry about us because we were happy. I went back to our room and cried for like an hour.

    She was right, though. We were happy, but most importantly, she was happy. Lilly ising out of her bubble shell, and it''s beautiful to watch.

    "Mom?"

    I twist and look at her. "You are right, it was fun."

    Gabriel and Lilly had convinced me to stay and have lunch in celebration. We were celebrating that I had agreed to make the house our home.

    It had been fun to order food and eat it on the floor in an empty house without a single piece of furniture. I think it will be one of my treasured memories. Gabriel had not minded sitting down on the floor with his expensive clothes when Lilly suggested that we should have lunch there.

    After that, we spent the rest of the time exploring the estate. Lying on the grass and just basking in the sun. ying hide and seek with Lilly. It was fun, and, at that moment, Ipletely forgot about the dinner.Content belong to N?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    "This is so bad," I murmur, pulling myself from the memories. "What is your mom going to think of me? I am the host, yet we arete."

    "Stop worrying," he assures me, a smile still firmly in ce. "She isn''t going to think anything except that we all look happy."

    I want to believe him, but I can''t. The worry is still there. Still nagging at me. We''ve met twice with his parents, but we didn''t spend that much time with them. This dinner is supposed to be intimate, and I didn''t want to give her a bad impression of me.

    Thirty minutester, we were pulling into the building. Gabriel parks the car, and the three of us get out. We ride the elevator up all the while, I am praying that they haven''t arrived, given that we were minuteste.

    "I''m not even decently dressed for diner," I murmur, my heart pounding so hard that I''m sure the whole damn building can probably hear it.

    "Harper, you are worrying too much," Gabriel tells me, his hand on the door handle. "Just rx. Everything is going to be okay."

    The moment he opens the door, I dash to our bedroom to change into something more suitable. It isn''t a formal dinner, so I settle for a pair of loose-fitting jeans and a camisole.

    I finish and get out of our bedroom just as I hear the door open. I take a deep breath and calm down before heading towards the living room.

    I reach there in time to see Gabriel hugging his mom.

    "I hope we didn''t keep you waiting," his mom tells him with a soft smile.

    "Not at all, mom. We had a sort of family outing and didn''t realize that time had flown by. Harper was worried about you guys arriving before we did."

    I sigh and roll my eyes. Did he really have to tell his mother that? He could have just pretended that we were here on time.

    Taking another deep breath, I walk in.

    "Hello," I greet, and both his parents turn to me.

    "Hello to you too, Harper," his mother says, pulling me into a tight hug before kissing both my cheeks.

    She pulls away, and her husband takes her ce. I give him my hand; he takes it, but then he tugs it and pulls me into a hug while patting my shoulder.

    "Grandma, grandpa!"

    Lillyes out of her room, running and shouting. I step away from Gabriel''s dad in time for Lilly''s body to crash into his.

    He lifts her up and hugs her. Gabriel''s mom steps beside her husband.

    "Give me my grandbaby," she demands, before pulling Lilly out of her husband''s arms.

    After hugging her, she walks with her to the sofa, Gabriel''s father following behind. Once they are seated, they begin chatting.

    *Seems like they''vepletely forgotten our existence," Gabriel whispers, standing next to me with a big smile on her face.

    "Of course, Lilly is their grandchild."

    "But I am their son," heins.

    I roll my eyes at his childishness. A side of him that I didn''t even know existed.

    "An overgrown baby, if you ask me," I murmur.

    "Yes, I am their precious baby boy. That should tramp the grandchild card."

    *Seriously? You have a twin brother. There is nothing special about you. You and Rowan are both equal."

    He turns and res at me as if I have offended him. "No, we are not. I''m younger

    "By three and a half minutes."

    He shrugs. "Still younger. Which makes me their precious baby boy."

    "I can''t deal with you right now. I am going to check on the food." I say this before walking away with a little smile.

    Like I said, this childish side of him is new. I didn''t know that it even existed. Is it weird that I like it? His cold and hard exterior made him seem untouchable. This side of him makes him more human, and I love it.

 Chapter 498

    ?Chapter 0498

    "Is the food ready?" I ask our housekeeper once I step into the kitchen.

    She answers with a kind smile "Not yet, but it will be in a few."

    "Okay, let me set the table then."

    She goes to argue, but I shut that argument down quickly. I wanted to help. Since she is cooking, this is the least could do.

    *Do you need any help?"

    I look up to find Gabriel''s mom on the opposite side of the dining table. I ce the te I was holding down and give her a smile.

    "Sure, but I am almost done."

    She walks towards me and begins helping with the sses and spoons.

    *So, Harper, how has my son been treating you?" she asks out of nowhere.

    I don''t answer immediately. I take some time to just think about her question, not because I don''t know what to say, but because of the tone of her voice.

    She isn''t just asking to make conversation; she genuinely wants to know how Gabriel has been treating me.

    I must have taken too long to answer because she stops what she''s doing and adds.

    "Don''t take it the wrong way. I am not butting into business, but given how he treated you before, I just want to make sure that he is treating you like you deserve.

    The concern is evident in her voice and in her eyes. She''s genuinely concerned about my treatment.

    I ce the final te down and smile. "You don''t have to worry; Gabriel is treating me really well. I am notining. Trust me when I say, If he were, I would have left him; everything else be damned."Content belong to N?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    "You would? Why now, though? Why didn''t you leave during those first three years you were married?"

    "Honestly, I guess because I was young, na?ve, weak and scared. Being a mother and going through what I went through changed me. When I was away from him, I learned about my self-worth and how to stand up for myself. I had a daughter and I needed to teach her how to be strong and stand up on her own two feet."

    "And you did an amazing job with Lilly. I see her and I know she''s going to go ces. Those two, Lilly and Noah, are like our boys. They''re going to take thepany further than their dads did."

    Hearing her say that made my heart swell with pride. I''ve heard Gabriel say the same thing about Lilly and Noah too. I believe them because I know my daughter, and I know she''s more than capable.

    "Thank you," I whisper.

    "Do you know that my marriage to Antony was arranged by our parents?"

    My jaw drops, and I stare at her in shock. That is something that I didn''t know. Whenever I saw them, they always looked so in love. I always thought they married for love, just like my dad and mom.

    "I didn''t know."

    *Few people do. Rowan and Gabriel don''t either," she says.

    "You look so in love and happy."

    She sighs and puts down the spoons before pulling out a chair and sitting down. "We weren''t always like that. In fact, Antony hated me. I would actually say that the word hate is mild. He detested me, and his hate nearly destroyed me."

    Just like she did, I pull a chair out next to her and take a seat. My focus ispletely on her.

    "It''s so unbelievable. No one can tell that he hated you."

    "It''s something I don''t like talking about because it''s in the past." Staring into her eyes, I see the pain that has been masked for years. The pain that scarred her. "Don''t get me wrong, we do love each other. He pulled his head out of his ass when he realized he loved me and begged for my forgiveness."

    I continue to stare at her, not really sure why she was telling me this.

 Chapter 499

    ?Chapter 0499

    *I know you are confused, but the reason I am telling you this is because I want you to give Gabriel a chance. I know he messed up, but looking at him now, I can tell he is in love with you. My sons took after their dad in idiocy when ites to the women they love. Though part of Rowan''s idiocy is because of us, as parents-both me, Antony, and Emma''s parents-we messed him up."

    "Sarah..." I start to say but she cuts me off.

    "It seems it runs in the family. I guess the adage ''the apple doesn''t fall far from the tree'' is true because both sons have managed to hurt the women they love, just as their dad did with me. All I am asking is that you give him a chance, because the same adage applies in a positive light. When the Wood men love, they love with their whole hearts, and they love fiercely. If you give Gabriel a chance, he will love you like no other man."

    I smile in amusement at her effort to get me to forgive her son.

    "Sarah, like I tried telling you, you don''t need to worry. I already forgave Gabriel, and I decided to give our marriage a real chance."

    This time she''s the one shocked. Her jaw drops as her wide eyes stare at me,pletely stunned.Content belong to N?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    "You forgave him?"

    "Yes"

    "So, you are a real couple now?"

    "Definitely."

    She squeals before standing up. She then pulls me from my chair and hugs me in excitement.

    *You have no idea how happy I am to see that my sons are with the women they love. It fills me with so much joy and peace," she says, pulling away from me, her eyes filling with tears.

    Gabriel and his father burst through the door, their panicked eyes scanning the room.

    "My love, are you okay? Why are you crying?" Antony crosses the room and pulls Sarah into his arms. He then wipes away her tears, his eyes staring lovingly at her.

    It''s hard to imagine that their marriage had been arranged and that he once hated her.

    There is no hate in his eyes right now. Just love and adoration. It''s like the mere thought of Sarah hurting, hurts him.

    Gabrieles to stand next to me. He wraps his hands around my waist, stering me to his side. His eyes question me, but I just shrug.

    "Stop worrying. I am just happy." Sarah smiles at her husband. "Harper just told me that she decided to give Gabriel a chance. It makes me happy that my sons are getting their happy ever after."

    Antony''s confusion clears. *Thank God. I thought something happened to you."

    "No. I''m just happy to have another daughter-inw."

    "You''re beautiful, you know that?" He tells her, his eyes staring at her as if he''s captivated. It''s like he is falling in love with her all over again.

    Not caring, Antony bends down and captures Sarah''s lips in a scorching kiss that honestly leaves me blushing. The heat from it is scorching.

    *Seriously, dad?" Gabriel asks in disgust. "Must you do this in my house, and in front of me?"

    They pull away from each other, with Sarah breathing hard. She looks flustered and a bit embarrassed. Antony, on the other hand, is grinning and looks totally unapologetic.

    "Dinner is ready. Should I serve?" Mrs. Dobbs, our housekeeper, asks, interrupting the moment.

    "Yes," I answer.

    Antony had sat Sarah down and was now ying with her hand while whispering something close to her ear. Something that was making Sarah blush like crazy. Gabriel was staring at his parents and looked like he was seconds away from puking.

    I look from my husband to his parents, and I can''t help but pray that we will still be that in love when we are that age.

 Chapter 500

    ?Chapter 0500

    Emma

    I walk into Mia''s office for yet another therapy session. Just like we always do, I first take off my shoes before sitting down.

    "Hi Emma," Mia asks, smiling at me. Her smile, just like always, is inviting and warm. It makes you calm and rxed.

    "Hi Mia"

    "Okay, you know what we have to do first, right?"

    She asks and I nod my head.

    I take a deep breath before closing my eyes. I sort through my thoughts. I don''t hold onto them for long or dwell on them. Instead, I let them go without trying to dive into them.

    I push out the thoughts about Calvin, Gunner, my brother, mom and Ava. I clear my head until there is nothing. Until my head is empty and I am at peace.

    Once that''s done, I open my eyes.

    "Are you ready for us to begin?" Mia, who was watching me, asks.

    I nod "Yes."

    "When we talked thest time, you told me you are ready to get your life back together. How''s that going on for you?"

    Taking a deep breath, I fully focus on her and let her question bounce in my head as I try lock down what I am feeling.

    "Good," I finally say, "I got in contact with my previous firm. They have a branch here in the city and they were happy to have me back."

    That is something I wasn''t expecting. It''s been two years since I had a mental breakdown because of guilt and out of nowhere, I quit my job. I never expected that they''d take me back, given that I didn''t give them a reason.

    When I took the leap to call them and ask for my old job back, I expected them to turn me away and tell me to fuck off. I was surprised when my senior got excited at hearing me. She immediately epted my request, even after I told her that I wasn''ting back to the city I''d called home for thest ten years.

    "Is there a particr reason why you decided to get your life back?" Her question pulls me back to the present. "Gunner,"

    I don''t have to think about it. Gunner is the reason I am doing all this. He is the reason why I sought therapy to heal and change.

    "What about him?"

    "I can''t try to be a good mother to him when my life is a mess now, can I?" I give her a sheepish smile. "I quit my job and moved with my mum while I was basically wasting away in my bedroom. That doesn''t scream ''good, responsible mom"

    She nods her head and then writes something in her note book before turning back to me.

    "I get what you are saying, but I am worried that you are using Gunner and Calvin as a bandaid. I am afraid that you are settling for them since you didn''t end up with Rowan, given he was always your first choice."

    Her words tear something inside me. I feel offended and hurt that she would think this way about me and about my intentions to mend things with Calvin and Gunner.Content belong to N?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    I am quiet as I just stare at her. No wordse out of my mouth. It opens and closes, but nothing. Ick the words to express what I feel at the moment.

    She raises her eyebrows, "I can see that I''ve offended you... That was my intention. Gunner may be too young to understand everything but if that''s what I am thinking, then that''s what Calvin will think too. Are you sure that you haven''t settled for them because the person you wanted chose someone else?"

    Sighing, I let go of the anger that has started building inside me. Now that she put it that way, I understand. Hell, if the tables were turned, I would have thought the same thing. Calvin and Ava are friends so he knows that she and Rowan are together. He knows Rowan chose Ava. What''s to stop him from thinking that the reason I am now begging for forgiveness is because Rowan didn''t want me? I''ve was hang up on him for years, what''s to stop Calvin from thinking that my change of heart is because I was rejected by Rowan?

    "I am sure, Mia. I am not doing this because I am settling but because I genuinely want forgiveness and a chance at redemption. I want to be in Gunner and Calvin''s life." I answer after a while.

    "And why should I believe you?"

    She had reason not to believe me. I understand. Hell, I do understand how it seems from a stranger''s point of view.

    "You don''t have to believe me, but I genuinely want to be in Gunner''s life. It took losing him for me to open my eyes. It took looking into his eyes and seeing indifference when he looked at me to know I messed. I thought I wanted Rowan. I thought he was my dream, but then somewhere along the way, I realized that he was just a mirage. By the time I turned around to what is real, Gunner and Calvin also had their realization. The realization that I wasn''t worth the heartache and pain. They weren''t there anymore."

    It''s a painful reminder of how stupid I have been. How I had the best but I lost them because I was chasing a dream. I was so focused on a dream that had died a thousand deaths. It made blind to what was important.

    "If you do this, you have to give it your all. You yed with their hearts once; this time they won''t let you in so easily. I had to make sure not only because of you but also because there is a child involved." She says then pauses for a while before continuing.

    "I''ve seen many clients run for the next best thing when things don''t work out as they wanted. The reason I asked your motives is because I needed you to be sure yourself. Like I said, this won''t be easy. Getting their forgiveness won''t be easy. They won''t be receptive at first. If your motives are right, your determination is what will keep you going. If your motives aren''t pure, then you''ll give up on them on the first sight of trouble, and that will cause even more damage. I want you to be sure that this is what you want."

    I don''t have to think about. I''ve had two years to dwell on this. Two years to stew on it. I know what I want.

    *I am sure. I want this. I want to be in Gunner''s life. I want to know my son. I want to make up for my wrong towards him and Calvin."

    A smile breaks from her lips. Her eyes light up. "That''s what I wanted to hear. I wanted you to be sure that you genuinely wanted to fight for him."

    I smile back at her as a sense of peace washes over me.

 Chapter 0501

    ?Chapter 0501

    Emma.

    I am nervous. I am very nervous. My heart is racing and I can barely breathe. I clutch the steering wheel in a tight grip as I try to calm down the panic that was surging inside me.

    If I am honest, then I''ll admit that I have been skeptical since talking to Ava. My words were a false bravado from a woman who, at the moment, had an unusual surge in confidence. After Ava left, that false bravado faded. The confidence I had dropped and I was left doubting the decision I had made.

    I struggled with it, wondering if I was doing the right thing. I doubted the actions I wanted to take. I wasn''t sure if it would bear fruits or if I would be making things worse by pushing myself onto them.

    Finally, I decided to hold off on my ns. It surprised me, honestly, I wasn''t like that before. I never doubted myself or my decisions. If I wanted something, I went after it, guns zing.

    Yesterday after I talked to Mia, it opened my eyes. She asked me if I was sure about making things right. I was sure. That is what I wanted. I couldn''t help but ask myself one question as I went home. If being in Gunner''s life was what I wanted, then why was I hesitating concerning the decision I had made?

    I got home and the question kept ringing in my head like a broken record. The rest of the day, I thought about nothing else. Finally, before going to sleep, I decided to go through with the n. This was the only way to get close to them. To get close to Gunner. He was what I wanted and I was nning to go after him, guns zing.Content belong to N?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    Which brings me to now. When I got up in the morning, I called Ava and told her that I''d being in the afternoon. She was happy to hear. So d that I hadn''t backed out from my original n. She''d given me her new address and I was on my way there now.

    I push down the panic that threatens to eat me alive. Taking a deep breathe, I loosen the grip I had on the steering wheel. I was driving and I needed to rx. Thest thing I need is to get into an ident.

    "Turn left, on the fifth avenue." Siri''s the tense atmosphere inside my car.

    Following her direction, I turn the wheel and get on to the avenue, driving at a slow pace as I try to get my emotions under wraps.

    I continue following directions until I get to an exclusivemunity for the upper rich. I grew up around wealth, but I still get shocked when Ie across evidence of wealth that is beyond my imagination.

    Going at the required speed limit of ten, I follow Siri''s voice till it leads me to a ck wrought iron gate.

    "You have reached your destination." Her voice says before turning off.

    Rolling my window down, I press a button with a bell engraved on it, on the screen next to the gates.

    "Hello?" Ava''s voicees through the speaker.

    "Hi, Ava, it''s Emma. I''m at the gates."

    "Oh, hi," Her voice turns cheerful "Let me just open them for you. Follow the driveway till the end." "Thanks."

    Secondster, the gates open soundlessly. I release the breaks and drive through the long driveway. Finally, I see their house and it''spletely marvelous. It''s straight out of a dream. It even had a fountain at the front.

    I park my car and get out. Taking a deep breathe, I slowly walk towards the house, my nervousness now back. Gently knocking the door, I step back and wait.

    Slowly, the door opens before Noah''s head peaks out.

    "Oh, it''s you," he says in an emotionless and detached tone. "What are you doing here?"

    Looking at him, I see so much of Rowan in him that, for a minute, I forget that this is his son. I never got to interact with Noah. For some reason, he hated me from the moment her first saw me.

    "Hi, Noah," I say, unsure, with a slight tremble in my voice.

    Does it say something about me that the two kids I know in my life hate me?

    "I asked what you want." His voice was cold. I have never been intimated by a kid before. There was just something about Noah that was domineering.

    "I''m here to see your mom," I reply nervously, shifting from one foot to another as his grey eyes bore into me.

    I felt like he was searing my soul. His stare left me feeling like he could see the ugly parts of me that I try to hide. My guilt, self-hatred, and insecurities. I felt like he could see them all.

    "I hope you are not here to cause any trouble because I won''t let you," he hisses, his voice taut. "Because let me warn you,dy, I won''t let you upset my mother."

    My heart breaks all over again watching just how ready he was to tear me down if I so much looked at Ava wrong. I could have had this with Gunner, yet I ruined it all because I was selfish.

 Chapter 0502

    ?Chapter 0502

    I am jealous. Jealous that Ava has this with Noah. She also has a close rtionship with Gunner. Why didn''t I wake up from my foolishness before it was toote? My only prayer is that even if Gunner and I don''t get to be as close as Ava and Noah are, at least we''ll get to the point where he doesn''t hate my guts.

    "I''m not, I promise," I whisper even as my voice catches.

    He gives me a searing look before he turns.

    "Noah," I call to him before he leaves. His back stiffens but he looks at me over his shoulder. "I''m sorry. For treating your mom horribly and trying to get between your father and her. I''m truly sorry."

    I didn''t expect him to say anything back, and he doesn''t. Instead, he turns back around and leaves me standing at the door.

    Sighing, I wonder whether I should enter or just wait for Ava toe and wee me. My mother''s teaching was still ingrained in my head yearster. I''d never enter someone''s house without an invite.

    Secondster, Ava walks towards me. More like wobbles. Her baby bump was bing more visible each time! saw her. She couldn''t hide it now. It was obvious she is expecting, even with baggy clothes.

    "Oh my God, Emma," she exims in a sweet voice. "I''m so sorry for Noah''s behavior. I didn''t know that he''d leave you standing on our doorstep when I sent him to open the door. Come on in."

    She hugs me before stepping aside for me to enter.

    "It''s okay. I know that I''m not his favorite person."

    "Still, it was rude of him and he''ll be hearing from meter on. Don''t take it personally; once he gets to know you, he''ll understand that you''re really not a bad person."Content belong to N?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    "It''s okay, Ava. I understand. He''s just protective of you."

    "And Gunner. They''re best friends."

    She didn''t have to exin things to me. Like I said, Noah is an exact replica of Rowan. That includes his loyalty and protectiveness. I understand why he would view me as an enemy. Gunner doesn''t like me very much, and that trantes to Noah hating me too.

    Ava grabs my hand and we walk down the hallway. I can''t help but stare at the d¨¦cor. The house is amazing, both inside and outside. It was every woman''s dream.

    "You have a beautiful home," Iment as my eyes continued to wander around the house.

    It isn''t just a house; it is a home. It is filled with a kind of warmth that I''ve always desired to have in my own home.

    "Thank you," she replies. "The other house had so many bad memories. We bought this one because we wanted a clean and fresh start. A home with new and beautiful memories. Not one that was shadowed by the past and that reminded me of the heartbreak and pain."

    I nod my head, understanding their need to start fresh. I wanted the same. A clean and fresh start without my past encroaching on my present. For that to happen, though, I need to fix things. Just like Rowan and Ava fixed things before they could move forward.

    "Have a seat," Ava tells me, and I sit down on thefy sofa. "Can I get you anything?"

    "No, I am good."

    She nods her head and then takes a seat right next to me. "I was afraid you had changed your mind. I''ve been looking forward to hearing from you."

    "I admit that for a while I almost backed out, but it''s not because I don''t want to be in his life, but because I doubted that I was doing the right thing. I was afraid that I was going to make things worse if I went ahead with those ns."

    Ava''s brown eyes stare deep into mine with an intensity that makes me squirm before she finally speaks. "As a mother, you''lle to learn that those moments of doubt are a lot. You''ll always doubt whether what you are doing is good for them. You will always doubt if you are a good mother. You''ll always doubt every decision that you make concerning them."

    Taking a deep breath, she continues. "Don''t let those doubts destroy what you are trying to do for them. Being a mom means fighting for them with all that you have. That''s what Gunner needs right now. He needs to see actions, not just pretty words. He needs to see you put in the effort and fight for him. He needs to know that he matters to you. That he matters so much that you are willing to do anything for him, including living in someone else''s house just to be near him."

    Gosh. What she just said rings true in my head. For the longest time, I treated Gunner in a way that showed him he didn''t matter. I showed him that he wasn''t important. Now I need to prove otherwise. I need to show him that he is all that matters.

 Chapter 0503

    ?Chapter 0503

    "When did you get so mature?" I tease, bumping my shoulders with hers. "I''m older, I should be wiser."

    "Maturityes with experience, you know." She shrugs her shoulders and smiles. "Love drives us to do what is best for our children. So as long as you are driven by love, you''ll always want what''s best for you kids, and you will make decisions based on that."

    We are silent for a while, as I just d******d what she told me. It makes me feel less like a failure knowing that even Ava has doubts when to me she''s the epitome of a perfect mother.

    "Where is Iris, by the way?" I ask looking around, noticing that I haven''t seen the little one since I arrived.

    "She''s in her room with Rowan, ying tea party." Her answer is apanied by a grin.Content belong to N?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    I couldn''t help it when I burst outughing. "Rowan? ying tea party?"

    It sounded so weird. So out of the norm, it felt like we were talking about a different person. A different Rowan.

    I can already imagine him with badly put-on makeup, nail polish and a skirt. The thought alone makes meugh harder and Ava joins in.

    That aside, I admire his rtionship with Iris. It takes a different kind of man to raise someone else''s child and love her unconditionally. You wouldn''t even know that Iris isn''t his biological child. He loves her just as much as he loves Noah. That girl has a special ce in Rowan''s heart.

    "Are sure you don''t want something to drink?" Ava asks once again after ourugh dies down.

    "I''m sure," I smile.

    "Maybe you can stay for lunch," she insists

    "I don''t know, Ava," I reply. "I don''t want to intrude."

    "Come on, you won''t be intruding. Have lunch with us and then you can go."

    I look into her eyes and I can tell that she really wants to me to stay. I never thought I''d ever enjoy Ava''spany but I do. I actually do. So, I nod my head.

    "Let me just let the cook know to prepare for one more person... I''ll be back," she tells me, standing up.

    When she leaves, I take out my phone and check if I have any messages or emails. Mom wasn''t around when I left and I''d forgotten to tell her that I''d being to Ava''s the previous night.

    I am looking forward to moving into her former house. I am looking forward to building a rtionship with Gunner and getting to know him.

    "Emma?" The deep voice pulls me from my thoughts.

    I look up to find Rowan looking at me in something simr to shock and maybe a bit of apprehension.

    "Lipstick?" I ask in amusement, pointing to the wet wipe that was close to his lips and pink in color.

    "Yeah," he replies sheepishly. "Iris thought I''d look pretty in her mother''s pink lipstick. Plus, it would make me blend in with the girls. She didn''t want her dolls to know she''d sneaked me into their tea party."

    I couldn''t help it, honestly. I tried holding it back, but it was too funny, so I ended upughing. I haven''tughed like this in a long time. It felt strange yet exhrating at the same time.

    "You''ve been good?" Rowan asks after myughter dies down.

    "Yes, Rowan. I''ve been good, just hanging in there."

    Rowan nods his head. The atmosphere bes awkward all of a sudden. I don''t like it. I don''t like being in such an awkward situation.

    "Rowan." He was about to turn when I called him.

    "Yeah?"

    "I just wanted to say that I am sorry. I am sorry for the lies I told about Ava. I am sorry for the things I said about Noah. I am sorry for trying to cause trouble between you and Ava. I was so obsessed with getting you back that I failed to see that the path I was taking was leading me down a rabbit hole."

    He takes a deep breath and releases it. He then takes a seat on the opposite side.

    "I forgave you a long time, Emma. In fact, I am the one who should be apologizing. If I had realized my feelings earlier, I wouldn''t have led you on. I am sorry for giving you hope when my heart was already imed."

 Chapter 0504

    ?Chapter 0504

    I don''t know, but for some reason, hearing him apologize released something inside me. something I couldn''t exin and didn''t even know I had been holding on to.

    "It''s not your fault, and there is nothing to forgive. I should have also realized earlier that we weren''t meant to be. That our love was young, but it wasn''t the forever kind. Hell, I don''t really think we would have been together had our parents not pushed us into a rtionship."

    Rowan chuckles before his lips turn into a grin. "So, you realized too that our parents were the reason we got together too? Their talk about how we would make a beautiful couple and all that shit. That got into our head and hearing it so often we started believing it."

    "True, I don''t think we would have gotten together had it not been for them. Everywhere we turned, there was always someone who thought we would be perfect together. Well, except Ava." I smile, remembering that she''s the only one who didn''t like that Rowan and I were together.

    "I think she saw something that none of us saw." Rowan runs a hand down his face and says, "Maybe on a spiritual level, she just knew that you and I weren''t meant to be together."

    What he says rings true. Ava was probably the only one who could see that Rowan and I weren''tpatible. She''s the only one who saw right through the illusion we were forced to believe.Content belong to N?velDr¨¢ma. Org.

    "You know," I begin. "I''m d things worked out the way they did. Turning you down when you asked me to marry you should have been a sign, but I was still blind. I am d it led you to Ava that night. I see it now, we would have both ended up miserable had we gotten married. So, yes, I am d things happened the way they did."

    Even without saying anything, the shine in his eyes tells me that he agrees with my words.

    "I don''t want things to be awkward between us, given that your brother is one of my closest friends, Gunner is Noah''s best friend, and Ava has decided to take you into her fold. So, friends?" He gives me his hand.

    I take a minute to think about it and finally shake his hand. "Friends."

    Just then, Ava walks in with two sses of lemonade.

    "Where is Iris?" she asks before handing me a ss, even though I''d told her I was good.

    There is nothing in her gaze as she hands me the ss. No doubt. No jealousy. No suspicion. There is only kindness, trust and warmth. That is the look of her woman, who was secure in her marriage. A woman who trusted her husband even though he was with his ex. That is the gaze of a woman who knew she didn''t have to doubt because she was secure in his love for her.

    Rowan stands up. He wraps his hand around her waist before pulling her to him. He then leans down and gives her a soft, quick kiss. "Once the tea party was over, she went in search of Noah. Apparently, they were going to y dragons together."

    Ava chuckles, her chuckle filled with amusement, love and warmth. "That girl is a walking contradiction. She loves ying with dolls and having tea parties, but she also loves ying with cars and going to imaginary worlds where she is a knight and she gets to y dragons, gargoyles and sea monsters."

    "You still love her either way, and besides, our girl doesn''t need to be a damsel in distress. She already knows that, just like her mom, she''s capable and can do anything she wants."

    "True"

    I watch them. The love shinning in their eyes. Their love surrounds them. Igniting between them. I don''t feel anything. No jealousy, envy or bitterness. I feel nothing but fondness for both of them. It''s then, watching them, that I realize that I found my closure. I''ve truly and utterly let go and I feel nothing but peace.

 Chapter 0505

    ?Chapter 0505

    I pick up thest box and nce around my room. This room has been my sanctuary for thest two years.

    It had been my room when I was still a small girl, but over the years I changed it as I grew to be a woman. The d¨¦cor, the paint and the furniture. I changed everything to fit the woman I became.

    This is the room I cried in when I first leamed that Rowan had slept with Ava... Yearster, in this same room, I licked my wounds after realizing all the pain and hurt I caused.

    It became my source offort. The one ce I could run and hide. The one ce I could break down with no one to witness me unravel. If the walls could talk, they''d say just how much they witnessed. The secrets I hid. The terrifying thoughts of ending it all.

    Now though, I was leaving it behind. I know that I''ll still be sleeping here on the asions I spend the night at home, but for some reason it felt like I was saying goodbye to it. There was a kind of finality. As if finally, I was letting go of the memories from thest two years. It felt like I was ending a chapter.

    "Are you ready?" Travis''s voice breaks through my thoughts.

    My eyes shift briefly to him before going back to my room. Maybe when I am more emotionally stable, I''ll find time ande to change the d¨¦cor again. This way I can get rid of the memories that were etched on the walls. You know, give the room a brand-new start because we both need it.

    "Yes," I finally whisper.

    Like I said, it feels weird. This is my home. This will always be my room no matter what... but it feels like I am saying goodbye to it.

    I turn my back on it. Travis takes the box from me and walks out. I don''t look behind me again, instead I follow him. We walk in silence until we get downstairs.

    "My baby," Mom cries, tears ying on the edge of her eyes. It''s as if they stubbornly refused to fall down. "Mom," I walk to her and pull her into a hug. "Why are you so emotional?"

    "It feels like you are leaving home for college all over again. I remember when we first had to let you go. Your dad cried more than I did."

    My heart aches at the thought of my father. It''s been two years since he died. I still think of him. I still love him. That will never change.

    "I miss him," I whisper, my voice thick with emotion.

    Mom grabs my hand and squeezes it. "We all do, but I am sure he''s watching over us."

    I nod my head and squeeze her hand.

    "Are you ready for this?" Travises to stand next to me, his eyes searching mine.

    Iugh nervously as I twiddle my thumb. "Not by a long shot, but I have to do this. I have to make an effort for Gunner''s sake."

    "You are right."

    Unlike me, Gunner epted his grandmother and uncle wholeheartedly. I don''t mind it though. A bit jealous, but I don''t mind it. I understand. They didn''t hurt him like I did.C¨®ntent belongs to Nov¨¦lDr¨¢ma. Org

    "Okay kids," my mom beams with excitement. "It''s time to go."

    She walks towards the door with Travis and I following behind her. This is a huge step for me. I am nervous and excited at the same time.

    We get inside Travis''s Range with me in the passenger seat and mom in the back. Soon we are cruising in the streets heading to what will be my new home.

    "It''s really nice what Ava did for you," Travis begins mid-journey. "I wish she could give me a chance too." There is longing in his voice. I know how he feels. Our situations are different but simr at the same time. We''ve both done hurtful things to people we thought we didn''t care about. By the time it hit us, it was already toote.

    We haven''t talked much about it because I''ve been lost in my own guilt and misery, but I know Travis longs to have a rtionship with Ava. He once told me that it kills him to know that Ava forgave Rowan and the entire Wood family, but she hasn''t forgiven him and won''t let him be a part of her life. She only allows him ess to Noah through Rowan, but that''s it. Same with Mom.

    "Don''t worry about it," I try to console him, feeling his deep hurt and regret. "She came to visit us a couple of weeks ago. She even talked with mom. That''s progress. Give her time. She''lle around when she''s ready."

    "But it''s been two years. If she hasn''t forgiven me yet, I doubt she''ll ever will." His voice catches as if it''s clogged with emotion.

    His sadness pulls the strings of my heart. I want to ease his pain. I want to help him, but I know I can''t. All I can do is make him understand.

    "You know, I''ve talked a lot with Mia. One thing she told me was not to expect forgiveness instantly. Some take years before they are ready to forgive. She told me if I really cared for Gunner and Calvin, then I should be patient with them. Pushing and trying to have my way will only make things worse and slow down their healing process. Do you care for Ava?"

    I already knew the answer, but I had to ask anyway.

    His gives me a brief look before his eyes move back on the road. His brows were furrowed as if he couldn''t believe I''d ask such an obvious question.

    ''Yes.''

    "Then you have to be patient with her. Don''t try to push things when she''s not ready. She''ll probably end up resenting you more."

    His hands tighten on the steering wheel, but he doesn''t say anything else.

    "Emma is right, Travis," mom adds. "We were the ones in the wrong with how we treated her. We can''t expect her to y to our tune. We have to move at her pace. For once, let''s think about what she needs and not about what we want. We''ve been selfish for too long."

    I turn in my seat and look at my mother, giving her a smile. She grins back.

    I am so d that she finally understood things. Just like Travis, she used toin about Ava refusing to forgive them even though they apologized countless times. It is refreshing to see her in this new light.

    Travis looks at mom in the rearview mirror. He takes a deep breath and lets it out before nodding. "Okay, I''ll be patient."

    Mom gives him a satisfied smile before answering an iing call from her phone. My heart feels at peace.

    Even as I look at them with a smile on my face, I can''t help but think that maybe there is hope for this family after all.

 Chapter 0506

    ?Chapter 0506

    I continue staring at my brother. It''s suddenly hitting me that I''ve been so lost with what''s happening in my life that I failed to notice anyone else around me.

    That''s the thing with depression. You fail to see the sufferings of others because you are too focused on yourself. I''ve let life pass me by these past few years. I haven''t been involved with those around me. In fact, I''ve pulled everyone''s focus on me because they were so worried about my mental health.

    I didn''t stop to think about what mom was going through with her own guilt. I didn''t stop to think about Travis, who was carrying the weight of his own sins plus that of thepany. I didn''t stop to think about anyone but myself.

    I feel terrible when I think of all those things. All the things I have put them through. The worry, the anguish, the pain. I know I wouldn''t want to see any of them in the state I was in. It would be painful knowing that I can''t really help them because they refuse to be helped. I understand that, so I understand what it must be like dealing with myself.

    "I''m sorry," I whisper, running my hand through my hair.

    I really need to book an appointment at the salon. I don''t remember thest time I had my hair trimmed or even taken care of. It was a bit dry and the split ends were crazy.

    "About what?" Travis asks, briefly looking at me before focusing on the road again.

    "For what I''ve put both you and mom through these past two years. I''ve been so selfish, thinking only about myself and my pain. I was so blinded by my guilt that I failed to see what I was putting you two through."

    I had twisted my body in my seat so that I could be able to address both of them. Mom leans forward and pulls my hand into hers. It''s warm andforting. Her warmth eases something inside me.

    "You don''t have to apologize, Emma. We will always be there for you no matter what," she says, her eyes conveying her love for me.

    Her words break and mend my heart at the same time. There is just something about being surrounded by your family. By their love. I know it''s toote, but I wish that Ava had this when she was married to Rowan. That she had this kind of support when he broke her heart over and over again. Maybe it would have helped heal some of her wounds.C¨®ntent belongs to Nov¨¦lDr¨¢ma. Org

    It''s toote now, and what''s done is done. I don''t like what she went through, but everything that happened, happened the way it was supposed to happen. What matters is that we are there for her moving forward. We lost the meaning of family when it came to her. It''s time for them to fix that.

    "Mom is right. You are family, Emma. We will always be there for you, no matter what. You don''t have to apologize for what you''ve been going through. We all have our burdens, and we deal with our shit in different ways. What matters is that you are getting better. You are starting to live again."

    I blink my eyes rapidly, trying to blink back the tears that threatened to fall. I give him a watery smile as I close my eyes to try and get my emotions under control.

    When I feel more in control, I open them. "How is Scarlet?"

    Travis looks surprised at my question. He can''t hide the fact that I''ve shocked him by asking about his long-term girlfriend. I wasn''t weing to her because, one, she was always provoking me, and two, she was best friends with Ava, and at that time, I hated Ava.

    It took me a while to realize that her provocations were spot on. She wasn''t really provoking me, just telling me the truth I didn''t want to hear.

    "She''s well," he says after the shock fades.

    "I know we have had our ups and downs, especially after I came back, because of Ava, but I''d like to fix that. I''d like to get to know my future sister-inw."

    I can see how his eyes widen, even though he''s focused on the road ahead of us. This time I chuckle, unable to push it down any longer.

    "S-Sure. I know she''d be happy with that," he stammers the word.

    "Are you sure she''d be happy?" I ask skeptically, doubt marring my voice.

    Heughs a bit, his voice echoing in the car. "You''ll grow on her. She isn''t that bad and she doesn''t hold grudges''

    My lips press in a thin line. I''m doubtful but I am willing to try. I''ll have to take his word for it.

    Mom''s head pops between us. "This is what I want. To see my family united. It''s such a great feeling.*

    Her voice is beaming with happiness and excitement. It''s so contagious that Travis and I end up smiling. Grinning from ear to ear.

    "And hopefully Ava can join the folds once again," I add, my smile still in ce.

    "Amen to that," mom says.

    "Are you ready?" Travis asks after we are quiet for a while, everyone just basking in the peace that surrounded us. "Why do you ask?"

    "Because we are here."

    I swivel my head, almost snapping my neck in the process. I look through the windows only to realize that we were at Ava''s previous house.

    Yeah, I thought I was over my nervousness, but now it''s back ten folds and the peace I felt only moments ago flies out the window.

 Chapter 0507

    ?Chapter 0507

    I look at Ava''s house, and it''s just as I remember it. Nothing has changed, and it''s still the same. I know this is a different house, but looking at it takes me back to years ago, when things changed after dad died.

    I remembering to her house to spew nonsense because I felt like I was losing Rowan all over again, and it was her fault. God, I am ashamed of the bullshit I said and did to her. The way I instigated her and when she stood her ground and fought back, I went back to Rowan and lied.

    I had been jealous of her. Jealous that even though Rowan hadn''t treated her well, he had spent almost a decade married to her. It also grated me that he had been faithful to her despite the fact that he didn''t love her. We never slept together when we were dating, but I know men. There is no way he would have been celibate for nine years.

    Back then, it felt like daggers in my heart when I thought of them sleeping together. I knew it happened even without Ava rubbing it in my face. In my head I thought it would have been better if he had cheated on her and had mistresses. It would have hurt less.

    I wanted to cause trouble because I was hurt. There we were with a second chance, yet it seemed like Rowan''s thoughts were consumed by Ava. He tried hiding it, but I knew him, and I knew he thought of her most of the time. It grated on me the way he would run to her every time there was trouble. She tried pushing him out of her life except when it concerned Noah, but he stood still.

    The day he almost crushed my hand after we had dinner, and he saw Ava and Ethan had been the worst. It''s on that day that I started realizing that maybe I''d already lost him. It pained me to see him so jealous of Ethan. Jealous in a way I''ve never seen Rowan before. Sure, he''d get jealous when boys flirted with me back when we dated, but not on that level. Rowan looked livid and ready to tear Ethan''s head for merely touching his ex-wife.

    The fact that I also kept going back to Calvin for sex behind Rowan''s back should have been proof that maybe wasn''t invested in our second chance as I thought I was. After all, if I truly wanted things to work out with Rowan, shouldn''t I have given up Calvin? Yet I didn''t. I didn''t stop sleeping with Calvin until he ended things between us. Looking back, I think that the reason I held on to Rowan even when the signs were there that we didn''t belong together is because I wanted him as a trophy. A trophy to prove to Ava that she hadn''t taken him away from me. That Rowan still belonged to me. I know it''s horrible, but deep down I know that it''s the truth. Rowan was like a toy Ava stole from me. I wanted him back. After all, even as a child, I never liked sharing, nor did I like others getting what''s mine.

    Iugh internally at how absurd things were. I held on to Rowan for almost a decade only to realize at the end that I didn''t actually love him and neither did he. It''s sad that we lost a decade running after a dream when we could have been with the people we belonged to.

    "Emma?" I am pulled out of my thoughts by Travis'' voice. "You''ve been zoned out, just staring at the house. I asked if you were ready."

    Taking a deep breath before releasing it, I pull my mind back to the present. "Just got lost down in memoryne for a bit."

    His brows furrow as he looks at me in concern. I didn''t want him to stress, thinking I was reverting to a depressed state.

    *I am okay, I promise," I assure him by grabbing and squeezing his hand in assurance.C¨®ntent from N¨®velDr¨¢m¨¢!!

    "Like Travis asked," mom pauses, her eyes searching mine. "Are you ready for this? Cause if you are not, we can just go back home right now."

    I chuckle. "I know what you are trying to do, and it won''t work. I aming back to live with you, mom."

    "But I''ve gotten used to having you around. It will be lonely," she pouts, and that just makes me and Trevorugh because it''s a first. She looks cute, though.

    "I was always in my room and rarely left it. You were basically living alone."

    She waves her hand, dismissing what I said. "That doesn''t count. It''s your energy that does. I felt your energy and presence and that was enough."

    *I''m staying. Remember, why am I doing this?" I tell her, grinning.

    Before she cane up with more absurd notions, I open the door on my side and get out. I approach the house before using the key Ava gave me to open the door and let myself in.

 Chapter 0508

    ?Chapter 0508

    It''s sparkling clean inside. She told me that she usually has someonee and clean it at least once a week, so I didn''t have to worry about having to clean it. It was also fully furnished, given Ava hadn''t taken anything out of it except for Noah''s bed and Iris'' cot.

    Despite it not having been used for thest two years, it still had a homey feel to it. It still held on to a certain warmth. Ava really does have a way of turning a house into a home. My penthouse never felt like this. It felt cold. A ce to live in, but not a home.

    I''m startled when Travis walks in carrying a box. He gives me a questioning look, but I turn around and ignore it. I leave and head to his car to take more of my things inside.

    It doesn''t take us long to bring all my things into the house. Fifteen minutes or less. I didn''t have a lot, given that I lost my passion for shopping, so I haven''t bought anything new in the past years.

    "Looks like we are done," Travis murmurs, staring at the staircase, his hands on his waist.

    "Yes," I reply. "I would have cooked, but I have nothing in the fridge. Maybe I can order takeout, and thenter on I''ll go out for grocery shopping."

    "No need for that," Mom emerges from the kitchen with a smile on her face. "Seems like Ava stocked the fridge for you. You don''t have to do grocery shopping. What''s in there is enough tost you for about two weeks."

    I smile thinking of her kind gesture. I make a mental note to call herter on today after I am done unpacking.

    "That''s sweet of her," Travis expresses in a soft voice before turning to me. "I can''t stay though. I promised Letty I''d take her out for lunch after I am done here."

    *I understand"

    "And I also have a lunch date with my teammates. We need to discuss the oing tournament," Mom adds.

    Mom is a member of our sports club''s tennis team. For as long as I can remember, she has always yed tennis. She never stopped, even after she entered her fifties. She''s also excellent. Mom is the team leader, and they have only lost two games since she was elected.

    "Maybe next time then," I begin with a small smile. "I can have you over for dinner."

    They agree and after saying goodbye, I watch them leave. They wave at me from the car, before Travis speeds off and I am left alone. Closing the door, I turn to face my new home for the time being.

    My stomach grumbles and I walk to the kitchen to make myself a sandwich. I struggled to find the ingredients, given I didn''t really know where Ava put them. I was just taking out a te when the door opens.

    *Ava?" his voice sounds, echoing through the house. "Did youe back to the house for something? I saw the door closing when I was pulling into my house."

    We both freeze when Calvin enters the kitchen, only to find me instead of Ava.

    "What the hell are you doing here?" he all but growls, his eyes burning like liquid fire.

    "I live here now," I say calmly, even though my outside appearance didn''t reflect the turmoil that was wreaking havoc inside me.

    My heart was racing and my palms sweaty. I knew I''d face Calvin, but not this soon. Not immediately after, I moved in.

    "What?" he yells, his face red. He waspletely livid. If he were a cartoon character, smoke woulde out of his ears.

    "Yes, I live here now," I repeat, trying to calm down my nerves.C¨®ntent from N¨®velDr¨¢m¨¢!!

    "That''s impossible." He speaks. "Ava would have told me."

    I just shrug, trying to look unbothered and unaffected by what''s happening. "I needed a ce to stay and she offered.*

    "Bullshit!" his eyes narrow dangerously. "It''s not like you don''t have money. You could have gotten an apartment or a house anywhere you liked. Hell, you could have continued staying with your mom. Why here?"

    He''s right. I wasn''tcking and if I was, I could always just ask mom for some until I got back on my feet. I don''t answer him though.

    He is rigid as he res at him. His fist clenched at his side. "I don''t know what your n is, but I won''t let you make a mess out of mine and Gunner''s lives. I am warning you, Emma. Stay the fuck away from us."

    I don''t get to say anything before he turns and stomps off. Minutester, the door bangs. I heave a sigh and slump against the kitchen counter. Our first encounter went better than expected. I am not na?ve though. I know there is still a long way to go.

 Chapter 0509

    ?Chapter 0509

    Harper.

    "I honestly don''t know why you wanted us toe here," I grumble as I rub my hands together to generate some warmth.

    "Is it wrong that I want to take a walk with my wife through the park?" Gabriel asks, amusement coloring his features. My grumpiness doesn''t do anything to diminish the shine in his eyes. In fact, it looks like he finds it cute.

    *During work hours?" I ask skeptically, my eyes surveying the park we were in. Given the cold weather, we were among the few who were here.

    *I am the boss, Harper, and you are my wife. We can do whatever the fuck we want," he says, grabbing my hand and holding it tightly in his. "If anyone has a problem with it, then they can go fuck themselves."

    Despite the chill in the air and the fact that I don''t want to be here, I smile. Using my hair to hide it.

    Gabriel has surprised me over and over again with his care, love, and attentiveness. If I am being honest, I never thought that I''d ever be this happy with him. He has surprised me at every turn.

    *It''s still not a good habit," I tell him, looking up at his six-feet-two frame.

    His smiling face greets me. Gone is the Gabriel I knew. He was no longer cold and detached. His smiles andughs nowe easily, and they warm my heart. Sure, at work he still maintains his aloof persona, but when Lilly and I are around, it quickly disappears.

    "I''ve been working for Wood''s Corporation since I was sixteen. It got worse after Ashley broke my heart. I lived and breathed thepany. Our family''s legacy." He pauses, his thumb drawing traces on my palm. "Now, I have you and Lilly, and you take precedence over everything, including thepany. If I want to take you out for a stroll, then that''s what I''ll do. I deserve to enjoy quality time with my wife after all the years of hard work I''ve put into thepany."

    What am I supposed to say to that? How am I even supposed to respond to that heartwarming little speech?

    Instead, I squeeze his hand to let him know that I do understand. That I get what he is saying. After hearing his words, all my inhibitions fall away, and I put work aside. Focusing on the current moment. Using my free hand, I pull my coat together before stepping closer to him.

    Even though Gabriel had handed over Unity Ventures, I still continued to work with him. I felt that there is more could learn from him before I am confident enough to venture on my own.Content from N¨®velDrama!!!

    Besides, I was still in my nning stages. I couldn''t just jump head first. I needed to n. I needed to organize my ideas, my goals, and steps for how to achieve all the goals I had for thepany.

    Aside from that, before I can evenunch the ideas I had, I needed to do interviews and hire new staff. Like I said before, Unity Ventures was solely focused on buying and selling properties. With the introduction of architectural, construction, and interior designing services, it will need not only new staff but also new departments.

    It''ll be a while before I can officiallyunch it with a brand-new face, so before that happens, I am totally okay learning and working under Gabriel for the time being.

    A few hours ago, I''d been busy going through some files Gabriel gave me when he walked into my office with a boyish grin and excitement on his face. He had then proceeded to tell me that he wanted us to go for a walk in the park.

    I didn''t like the idea that much. I mean, the weather wasn''t that good. I hated the cold. In fact, I prefer scorching heat to cold weather. I don''t understand how some people prefer winter, honestly.

    Despite my reservation about going out in the terrible weather, he somehow managed to convince me... so here we were. Walking hand in hand in this chilly weather, yet he didn''t seem to mind at all.

    "We should bring Lilly here one of these days," he tells me, breaking through my thoughts.

    I have to admit that it''s peaceful here. The quietness, the atmosphere, and most especially the tall green trees were rxing. I feel myself melt into his arms as I rx. There is just something about being in nature. It leaves you rejuvenated.

    "It''s on the other side of the penthouse," I point out while smiling at a cute Chihuahua dressed in a pink skirt. We had not yet moved to our new home. For reasons unknown to me (or maybe I did know I just didn''t want to admit it), I kept postponing the movement. I know it frustrated both Gabriel and Lilly.

    "It doesn''t matter; I had already nned to bring her to the office when she''s on school break. She''s been begging me to let her tag along one day," he says with such a bright smile on his face that it shows his happiness. His pride in our daughter radiates off him in waves.

    I''m mesmerized, and I can''t help but stare at him in wonder. It''s like he has hypnotized me. All I can see at the moment is his face and smile.

    The continuous clicking of a camera breaks the spell that had me hypnotized by Gabriel''s grey eyes. We both look at where the soundes from to find a man taking pictures of us.

    When he realized that we noticed him, his eyes widen a fraction before he dashes out of the bushes. He falls on his front, almost breaking his camera in his hurry. He quickly picks himself up and gives us onest look before running away.

    I shake my head before muttering, "Paparazzi."

    I''m not used to them, but I think I am slowly getting there. To be honest, I am not sure that I''ll ever fully get used to them. Yes, we were well off, but not at the level where gossip magazines were interested in our lives. For as long as I can remember, Wood''s family has always been in the limelight, given they were the richest family in the city. For Gabriel, none of this was new.

    "Don''t worry," Gabriel bumps my shoulder yfully. "They are just curious about the woman that managed to catch my heart and put a ring on it."

    At this, Iugh. "Please, I did nothing of that sort. If I remember correctly, you are the one who insisted on putting a ring on my finger."

    His lips spread, and he was about to say something. Ae back that would probably be naughty and witty given his wicked grin, but he get''s interrupted by someone calling his name.

    *Gabe?"

 Chapter 0510

    ?Chapter 0510

    Chapter 81.

    Gabriel freezes, rooted where he''s standing. His hand tightens, holding mine in an almost painful grip. I look up at him only to find his eyes wide, shock coloring his features.

    I look over his shoulders to find a red-headed woman, looking at him with unshed tears in her eyes. She seems emotional. I don''t understand her behavior or that of Gabriel''s.

    Slowly, Gabriel unfreezes and turns, his movements a bit stiff. He seems almost like a robot.

    *Ashley?"

    This time, I''m the one that stands frozen on my spot. My heart races as her name hits my ears and registers in my brain. I take a step back and try to pull my hand from Gabriel''s, but he doesn''t let go. Instead, it tightens.

    Her hair falls down her back in shinny ringlets that remind me of the setting sun. Her green eyes were wide and expressive, framed by longshes that were a shade darker than her hair. Her high, well-defined cheek bones stand out, and her full lips finish off her striking features. She was taller than I was, probably standing at five foot eight or nine. She has a slender figure with a small waist.

    I stare at the beauty in front of me, my eyes drinking her in. No wonder Gabriel went for her. The woman was gorgeous, her natural beauty shinning even with little makeup on her face.

    "At first I didn''t know if it was you," she says, her voice soft. "You are rarely seen in such a public ce."

    Just then, a hot dog cart passes near us. I push down the urge to throw up. Its greasy smell turning my stomach. I have been feeling this way for the past one and a half weeks.

    I have my suspicions, but I haven''t taken the test yet. I know the symptoms, and I am a hundred percent sure of what is ailing me. Despite this, I haven''t told Gabriel. I haven''t told him that I suspect that I am already pregnant.

    I can''t exin it. It''s the same case with moving to the new house. I have been waiting for something. I just don''t know what, but I know that when I find it, I will know.Content from N¨®velDrama!!!

    "What are you doing here? Are you following us?" Gabriel asks, in a hoarse voice.

    The need to run away hits me hard. I don''t want to be here. I don''t want to be standing here where Gabriel is face- to-face with his first love. A girl that caused him the heartbreak that turned him into a cold man.

    She raises her hand up, shaking them. "No. I swear it''s just a coincidence. I decided to use this park as a shortcut on my way to work."

    I shift from foot to foot, feeling ufortable. I wish Gabriel would let go of my hand, but I know it''s impossible with how tight he''s holding it.

    There is an ufortable, awkward silence as they stare at each other. None of them uttering a single word. I can''t help but wonder what''s going on inside his mind. Is he remembering their shared memories? The good times? The love he once had for her? I am facing his back now, so I can''t really read his facial expression.

    Oh, my goodness, what if the love he had for her is resurfacing now that he is seeing her again after years? He never told me what happened after he caught her with someone else, and I never asked. I thought that once he''s ready to tell me the rest of their story, he will. Maybe I should have pushed to know more. My heart can''t bear it if I find out that underneath the hurt and heartache, he is still in love with her.

    Her eyes momentarily shift to me before they go back to Gabriel. "Can we talk? I recently came back, and I was hoping we could talk."

    "I am sure anything you have to say you can say it in front of my wife, Ashley. There are no secrets between us," Gabriel says, his voice calm and assured.

    Again, she looks at me before pulling her eyes away. Before she did, though, I saw regret in them.

    "I never got to apologize to you for what I did," she begins, while fiddling with her hands nervously. "It didn''t take long for me to realize that I was wrong, but by then you had taken your revenge, and I had to flee abroad."

    Gabriel doesn''t say anything, so she continues.

    "Paul put me up to it. We were dating, and when he realized that you and your brother were attending the same school, he wanted me to get close to you when he couldn''t. His n was to be your friend and take advantage of it. He couldn''t get close to either of you, so he talked me into it. I am an orphan, and I was drowning in debts, so I agreed. We first learned all we could about you, what you like, what kind of girls you prefer, and your favorite ces. After months of studying you, we set up the stage where we first met."

 Chapter 0511

    ?Chapter 0511

    I am honestly disgusted listening to her right now. Who the hell does that to someone else? Gabriel is a living being with feelings. What they did to him was downright cruel.

    "You know the rest," she pauses before continuing. "When you cklisted me and Paul, life became unbearable. We couldn''t stay here given that we couldn''t even get jobs. We fled abroad but broke up soon after. I''m so sorry, Gabe. I''m sorry that I used you and didn''t treasure what we had. It''s only after we were apart that I realized my feelings for you, but it was already toote. You hated me and didn''t want to see me."

    My heart races, and my breathing deepens. Even though it''s cold, sweat trickles down my back. I am so afraid. So, fucking afraid that he will choose her. This is his chance to be with the first woman he ever loved. I try to control my trembling as I wait to hear what he''ll say. As I wait to hear his answer to her confession. After all, first loves are hard to forget.

    *None of that matters," he finally says after a while.

    What did that mean? Does he mean it doesn''t matter because he still loves her and has forgiven her?

    I feel like I am about to faint from anxiety.

    She goes to speak, but he holds up his finger. He then turns and looks at me briefly. I see something pass in his grey eyes, but it''s too quick for me to read. My heart beats loudly, almost drowning out every other sound around me. What if that brief look is an apology because he is about to choose her and break my heart?

    Once again, I try to pull my hand out of his, but he doesn''t let go. Is he this cruel? Does he really want me to stay here as he shatters my heart once again? Tears begin filling my eyes, and I blink them away. Refusing to let them fall.

    *Like I said, what you did doesn''t matter now because your actions led me to my wife," he begins. I look at the side of his face in confusion. Say what? "I no longer love you, Ashley, and I haven''t in a long time. My heart belongs to Harper, and I wouldn''t change anything that happened if it means she still ends up my wife."

    My tears fall, but this time for a different reason. My heart eases in its tight grip as I realize that Gabriel is choosing me. He is picking me over his first love.

    "I ept your apology, but I am where I belong and with whom I belong. What we had died a long time ago, and it can never be revived."

    Even though I watch Ashley''s tears fall, I feel like jumping for joy. I know she''s hurting, but that doesn''t dim the happiness I was currently feeling.

    *Go home, Ashley; move on with your life and don''t ever look for me." There wasn''t anything in it. No anger or bitterness. It was just neutral.

    He doesn''t wait for her to answer. He just brings our joined hands to his lips before kissing mine. He turns us around and we leave.

    *Are you okay?" I ask slowly, almost in a whisper.Content from N¨®velDrama!!!

    He looks down at me with a smile. "More than okay. You are the one I love, andpared to what I felt for her, what I feel for you is a zing inferno, while what I felt for her was nothing but a flicker. I would choose you over and over again, in a thousand lifetimes."

    I return his smile. "I love you too."

    I feel something release inside me, and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I can breathe easily. The tight knot that was always inside me uncoils, and I feel free.

    It then it hits me; this is what I was waiting for. This is why I held back. Now, though, I feel free to love him without the worry of his first loveing between us. Now I am ready to love him wholeheartedly.

 Chapter 0512

    ?Chapter 0512

    Emma.

    I get out of my car feeling tired and drained. My heels were killing me and I wanted nothing more than to get them off and justy down on a sofa or my bed.

    Today was my first day at work, and, I tell you, it was hectic. I had forgotten what being awyer entailed. Forgotten just how hectic it was. The countless hours you are on your feet or on your chair buried in papers that you need to go through.

    Most of the time, I would go over my clients'' cases and the evidence that, by the time I was done, I felt like I would lose my mind. Like I was going crazy.

    Despite how tiring my first day was, going back to work filled my entire being with a kind of energy that I simply can''t exin. For the first time in two years, I felt alive. I felt rejuvenated. I felt like some of the missing pieces inside me were finally fitting into ce.

    It honestly felt nice to go back to work. I missed it so much. I didn''t realize just how much I missed being awyer until I went back to work today.

    I lock my car. Mom had it delivered to me a day after I moved here. I move tiredly and walk to the door. Rummaging through my handbag, I search for the keys. Finally, I find it, and I open the door, walking inside the house tiredly.

    I move to the couch and drop down on it, sighing in relief and happiness. Gosh, I''ve never been happy just sitting down on the sofa.

    Taking off the shoes, which I''d forgotten to remove at the door. I lift my legs up and put them on the coffee table before leaning back against the sofa and closing my eyes.

    My phone beeps inside my bag, but I ignore it. I''ll deal with whoever is calling once I''ve gotten a bit of rest. It was probably my mom, who wants to know how my first day was.

    I was just rxing when I heard a scratching sound. I ignore it just like I did with my phone and sink further into the plush andfortable couch. A minuteter, the sound came again. Then again, after about another minute.

    My eyes snap open as my brows furrow. Focusing, I realize the sound ising from the kitchen. Groaning in irritation and annoyance, I stand up and walk towards the kitchen.

    Once there, I look around for where exactly the sound ising from, but I find nothing. I was just about to leave when I heard it again. Listening closely, I try to find the exact location. I then realize that it ising from outside the window.

    Maybe it was a roon? I think to myself, walking towards the back door.

    I unlock it and scan around. My eyesnd on arge Siberian Husky. It was digging, but when I opened it stopped, staring at me with what I think is shock. We both stare at each other, stunned at each other''s presence. It wasn''t expecting me, and I wasn''t expecting him.

    "Shoo!" I wave my hand after I unfreeze, trying to get it to leave.

    I don''t know who''s dog it was, but I didn''t want trouble. Besides, I also wasn''t sure how tame he was.

    Instead of leaving like I expected, it tilts it''s head and stares at me like I''d grown two heads. In fact, as crazy as it sounds, it looked at me as if I was the one trespassing. Like I''m the one that should leave.

    "Go on, please leave," I beg, not really knowing what to do.

    It doesn''t. Instead, it sits down defiantly and, as if to show me who is the boss,ys down.

    I huff, looking at it, while wondering what the hell to do with it.

    "Rex" Gunner''s sweet voice makes me still, my spine ramrod straight.

    It''s been a week since Calvin walked out of the house. I haven''t seen either of them. I start fidgeting as nervousness begins filling me.

 Chapter 0513

    ?Chapter 0513

    Gunner pops up through a small entrance that I''d not noticed before. He stills when his eyesnd on me.

    A kid has never made me so nervous. I sway slightly as his piercing eyes, simr to mine, re at me.

    *What are you doing here?" He growls, his burrows furrowed and fist at his side. I shudder at his intense gaze that is filled with so much anger and bitterness.

    I open my mouth, but nothinges out. My heart was racing, and I was finding it hard to breathe, given that I felt like I was suffocating.

    "G-Gunner" I finally get his name out, but words fail me as I struggle to find something to tell him.

    His brows pull together, and his jaw clenches. Looking at him, looking at me with so much bitterness, makes me realize just how much I hurt him. Just how much damage I did.

    No child should be filled with so much anger and bitterness. I did this to him. My actions corrupted his innocence and purity. I hate it. I hate seeing those emotions in his eyes.

    I rub my chest as pain crushes into me, filling my heart to the brim. I can''t breathe. I can''t move. I can''t do anything; just stare at the results of my selfishness.

    "Rex," he shifts his eyes to the dog.

    The once stubborn dog gets up obediently and walks toward Gunner. Once he''s next to him, Gunner turns and begins to move to the small entrance.

    Ie unfrozen, seeing him leave. This is my chance.

    *I''m sorry, Gunner," I stammer, trying to get my brain to work.

    He stops but doesn''t turn around. His back was stiff, and he seemed tense.

    When he doesn''t move, I continue.

    "I''m sorry for hurting you, Gunner. I''m sorry for breaking your heart over and over again and causing you so much pain. I waspletely selfish and I thought of myself. You are my baby. My son. I know an apology isn''t enough, but I hope it can be a start."

    He doesn''t say anything. I take a deep breath, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall and the emotions that were chocking me.

    "I''m sorry for my behavior. For the love that I denied you. For treating you like you didn''t matter. Like you weren''t enough. I am so sorry for not being there for you. I am sorry for not being the mother that you wanted and needed. I am sorry for not loving you like you deserve. I am simply sorry and I am asking for your forgiveness. That you''ll give me a chance to make it up to you even though I don''t deserve it."

    I lose the battle, and my tears fall, my sobs chocking me as my voice catches. "I want to be a mother to you if you give me a chance. I want to be all that you wanted me to be and give you everything that I denied you. I want to be in your life. Despite that, it''s not about what I want but about you, Gunner. I leave it to you because, for once, I want to put you first. If you don''t want me in your life, I''ll respect your wishes, though I won''t stop fighting for you." The door behind me holds me up when my strength fades, and I sag against it. I feel like my words are jumbled because my mind is a mess. I am hoping, though, that despite that he''ll understand what I am trying to tell him.

    When I don''t say anything more, he silently leaves. My strengthpletely leaves me, and I fall down on my knees, burying my face in my hands as I cry. His angry and bitter eyes keep replying in my mind, shattering my broken heart more.

    I don''t care if the neighbors see me. Not when my son hates me. This was all my fault. I just pray and hope that he''ll heal in time. Even if he doesn''t ept me in his life.

 Chapter 0514

    ?

    "How did you feel seeing Gunner?" Mia asks, her eyes as always were perceptive. Staring at me like she could see straight into my soul.

    Given that I''ve gone back to work, we''ve had to move things around to fit my new schedule. Most of my sessions are now scheduled between four thirty and six in the evening.

    I already know the answer to that. I don''t need to think about it. Thinking about that day, though, fills my eyes

    with tears.

    *Heart wrenching," I all but whisper the words.

    It feels like it''s been forced out of me. Out of the deepest parts of my soul. I try to force the sob that threatens to break free, but it''s useless. I tears out of me painfully, leaving me breathless.

    "How so?" Mia asks, handing me tissue paper.

    I take it and wipe the tears falling down my face. It does no good because they keep flowing like a damn river. Getting angry at them for how they keep falling, I ball the tissue in frustration before chucking it in the dustbin.

    *I saw it in his eyes, he hated me." I begin giving up on my battle against the tears that kept falling down my face. "There was so much anger reflected in his eyes. So much bitterness."

    The image of his eyes ring at me with those emotions is still imprinted on my head and heart. They still burn me in ways I can''t even begin to exin.

    *Emma,"

    I angrily wipe away my tears with the back of my hand.

    *It destroyed me, Mia. It destroyed me, knowing that it was my fault. That I am the one that put emotions in his eyes and heart."

    I start heaving. I am having difficulty breathing as the intensity of my emotions chocks me. Robbing me of the ability to breathe properly.

    I continue, "His eyes haunt me. When I go to sleep, they are there in my dreams. When I wake up, they are there, staring usingly at me. I see them everywhere I look. Everywhere I turn. I don''t know what to do."

    "We''ll get back to Gunner. Right now, I am worried about you. I sense a lot of anger and bitterness towards yourself, Emma."

    I don''t say anything because I can''t deny it. I honestly feel disgusted with myself. How can I call myself a mother when I caused such havoc in my child''s life? How can I be okay with myself when I literally brought such emotions into him? Children should remain innocent for as long as they can. They should not feel any kind of hatred, anger, or bitterness. I took Gunner''s innocence when I caused him to feel such emotions. "I''m not really happy with myself," I tell her honestly, my head bowed down in shame and regret.

    *Do you think you deserve a second chance?" She asks. "Do you think you deserve forgiveness?"

    Her question catches me off guard. I''ve never really thought about it because it has never crossed my mind. Do I deserve forgiveness? Do I deserve a second chance?

    The question keeps ying in my head like a broken record. It echoes inside, its haunting melody making me seek answers I never thought about.

    I stare at the wall in front of me. My eyes are looking but I see nothing at all. I dig deep inside me to try and find the answer to that question. Trying to find the particr words to express just what I feel.

    Mia is patient with me, as I think. She doesn''t push me or force me toe up with the answer sooner. She just silently jots down something in her notebook.

    The answeres to me, and I sigh. "No, I don''t believe that I deserve forgiveness or a second chance."

    Mia looks up, her eyes soft as she stares at me with nothing but understanding and warmth. She doesn''t judge or anything like that.

    "Why do you think that, Emma?"

    I think this is the hardest part of my sessions. Where Mia asks me to exin my feelings. To exin why I feel the way I do. I hate it because it forces me to stare at the deepest, darkest parts of myself and understand why I feel that way.

    Being asked why if I am sad, angry, or bitter is easy. I''ll just say yes or no, final. Being asked why I feel sad, angry, etc. Now that''s something else.

    I draw in a deep breath. I''m not even sure how to answer. How do I exin that I just feel the way I do? "How can I be worthy of forgiveness when I''ve done such despicable things to my own son? Eight years, Mia. Eight years I treated Gunner and Calvin so abhorrently. I ignored my son and treated him like he didn''t matter, while I basically used Calvin for sex. There is no forgiveness for toying with other people''s hearts."

    I can feel Mia''s eyes burning the side of my head. I keep looking at my joined fingers, feelingpletely ashamed of my actions. What I told her is the truth. I doubt there is forgiveness for someone who toys with other people''s hearts. Especially a child''s.

    "You have a lot of anger towards yourself, Emma. A lot of bittemess and self-hatred. That is not healthy at all, she begins before continuing. "For you to be the kind of mother you want to be towards Gunner, you have to heal. You have to let go of the past."

    Her lips are moving, but I can''t hear a single word. Maybe it''s because I am choosing to block her words out. Refusing to hear them.

    She takes a deep breath as she watches me, "You have to forgive yourself, Emma. Everything we are doing here will be pointless if you can''t forgive yourself first and move past your mistakes. You did what you did and it happened. We can''t change that, but you can change the future. You can change the present. You are a different person than you were two years ago. I''ve only been your therapist for a while, but I see your change, I see your remorse, and I see your desire to make things right. I admire that, but first you need to let go of the mistakes you made and the person you were. You need to forgive yourself just as much as you want others to forgive you."

    I leave the session, her words still running in my head. Forgiving oneself is easier said than done, but truth be told, how can I forgive myself when I feel like I haven''t paid enough for my sins?

 Chapter 0515

    ?

    Calvin.

    I watch the video Kinley sent me,ughing softly at just how funny it was. She sends me random funny animal videos because she knows they make meugh. A day doesn''t go by without one or two videos from her. If I am being honest, I look forward to seeing them in our chats.

    Things between us have been perfect. Apart from Emma, I have never been serious about a woman before. Sure, I did try to move on when I joined college, but it was more of me sleeping around with random girls than moving on from Emma.

    Don''t look at me like that. All the girls I slept with before Emma knew the score. They knew there could be nothing between us, and it was only a bit of fun. I made that very clear before I got into bed with them. They understood and epted. Life was simple until Emma and I crossed paths again.

    After the first time I slept with Emma, I stopped my string of one-night stands. Then Emma got pregnant, and well, you know the rest. I haven''t been with any other woman since that first night with her. I know, pathetic, but in my stupid defense, I was in love, and I thought it wasn''t right sleeping around while still fucking Emma. No matter how much I was hurting, the thought of sleeping with someone else disgusted me.

    Another ping brought my attention back to my phone.

    [How was your day, handsome?] Kinley''s text read.

    food]

    She really knows how to boost a man''s ego, but that''s not what I like about her. It''s her light, her smile and the fact that she gets me. It''s how she treats Gunner like her own; it''s her kindness, her warmth, her smile that lights everything around her. It''s herpassion, the peace that surrounds her. It''s simply her as a person. I know it''ll sound cheesy, but she is an angel. One sent to me when I really needed her.

    [Perfect, now that I am hearing from you. How about yours?]

    [Can I be honest? I''ve thought about you most of the day. Well you, Gunner and food]

    I chuckle at that before replying. One thing I learned about Kinley is her love for food. She loves her food and isn''t afraid to admit it. She''s genuine and real. That''s what attracted me to her.

    I''ve been thinking for quite some time now about asking her out. It''s a big fucking step, and it scares the crap out of me, but I also feel right. Being with her feels right.

    I''ve only loved one woman since I was fourteen. Of course, there are parts of me that will fight against me. Fight against going for the unknown, preferring for me to stick to what I am used to. I can''t let those parts win. Like I said, it''s a huge step, but I think I am finally ready to reach for what I want, and what I want is a chance with Kinley.

    "Dad," I turn when I hear Gunner''s voice.

    "What''s up, buddy?"

    I notice the way his brows are furrowed. Reading into his eyes, I know that something is bothering him.

    "Can we talk?" he asks, his voice thick as if he''s fighting back his emotions.

    *Sure, let me just send Kinley a quick text to let her know, and then I am all yours."

    He smiles a little at her name and nods his head. Exining what is happening, I send the text to her before setting my phone on silent and setting it aside.

    "Now," I begin "What''s bothering you?"

    "Did you know Emma moved into Aunt Ava''s house?" He asks, his blue eyes so much like his mother''s piercing mine.

    So, he found out. I didn''t tell him because I didn''t know how to tell him. He has so much anger towards Emma that I didn''t want to aggravate him more where she is concerned.

    He also stopped calling her mom two years ago. Now, when we do talk about her, which is rare, he calls her by her given name.

    "Yes, I did," I tell him truthfully. There was no reason for me to lie to him. We promised there would never be secrets between us.

    "I see,"es his answer.

    *Did something happen? Did she do something you didn''t like?"

    He looks at me before looking down at the floor and taking a deep breath. "She apologized a few days ago. She said she was sorry for what she did and how she treated me."

 Chapter 0516

    ?

    I fold my hands on top of the kitchen counter. I don''t know what to do or say to that.

    "How did that make you feel?" I finally ask him after a while.

    "I don''t know. I talked to Noah, and he told me that she also apologized to him for trying toe in between Uncle Rowan and Aunt Ava."

    Well, that''s news to me. It seems like Emma was going around apologizing to those she wronged, including children, who most people would overlook.

    *She apologized to me too, a few weeks ago," I confess.

    "How did that make you feel?"

    *Trying to be the parent, are you?" I chuckle. "But we are not talking about me; it''s you I''m worried about."

    He sighs. "I don''t know. I am still angry at her and hurt. My chest hurts when I think about how much it used to hurt when she didn''t want anything to do with me."

    *I understand that, buddy, and you have every right to be angry. No one can fault you for being hurt, okay? It''s also okay when you don''t know how you feel. Emotions can be messy and conflicting at times."

    I try to exin as best as I can. I don''t want Gunner to ever be in pain. I know that he''s still hurt, but I also don''t want him to hold on to that bittemess and anger for too long.

    "That''s how I feel," he says, climbing on the bar stool next to me. "I feel conflicted. I am angry, but she also apologized. We were always taught in Sunday school to forgive."

    Fuck, how am I supposed to respond to that? I rack my brain for something I could tell him. Who said parenting is easy?

    *How about you let your anger towards her cool off first, then we can go from there?"

    "Yes, but would you be angry if I forgave her?"

    His question catches me off-guard. I lean forward and kiss his temple before ruffling his hair. "Never. It''s your decision, and I''ll support you if that''s what you want, but you have to understand that your mother and I won''t be together like you wanted in the past. We won''t get married."

    He shrugs his shoulder. "I already figured that out the moment you introduced me to Kinley. She makes you smile, and I figured something was going on."

    Again, my boy manages to surprise me and catch me off-guard.

    He raises a brow at me and smile. "Did you honestly think I wouldn''t notice? I am ten, Dad, not stupid."

    Iugh. "No, you aren''t... So, you wouldn''t mind if I started dating her?"

    I am bringing Kinley into our lives. It''s important to make sure that my son isfortable with her and the idea. If

    he is not, then to hell with it. I''ll always put Gunner before any woman or any rtionship.

    "I like Kinley a lot," he answers. "I''ve been wondering when you''ll grow some balls and ask her out."

    *Gunner!"

    "What?"

    "Language," I snap. "Where did you even learn that?"

    "Uncle Rowan. Noah and I heard him talking with Uncle Gabe once. We googled the meaning and wah! It''s actually more effective than just telling someone to be brave."

    I can''t. I just can''t with Gunner right now... and the fact that he looks so smug like he has aplished

    something big. Well, telling me to grow some balls is an aplishment.

    And why are they even googling such things? I''ll have to have a talk with Rowan and Ava the next time I see them. Rowan has to be careful when cursing.

    "Go to your room, right now. You are grounded for the next three days." I tell him

    He slinks off the stool. Before he leaves he turns to me.

    "By the way, that''s not the only curse word I know. Uncle Rowan isn''t the only one who curses like a sailor; you do too."

    *Gunner!"

    He winks at me and bounces out of the kitchen as if he''s the damn king of the world. I love him, but he can be frustrating at times, especially since he met Noah and Ava. I love that he got out of his shell, but I''m just saying.

    Taking my phone, I see a message notification from Kinley. Gunner is right though; I need to grow a pair and ask Kinley out.

 Chapter 0517

    ?Chapter 0517

    Harper.

    I look around, trying to make sure that everything is perfect. We were at our new house today, and we decided to hold a housewarming party. It wasn''t a big one, just close friends and family.

    "Is everything set?" I ask our cook.

    She had been amazed by the house and had fallen in love with the kitchen. Like I''d said previously, our kitchen was every cook''s dream. If it wasn''t for the fact that she had to go home to her family, I swear she would sleep here, and by here, I mean the kitchen, not the house.

    "Yes," she smiles, her eyes bright with happiness and excitement. "Everything is ready."

    Like I said, we didn''t want a huge party. It would just be Gabriel''s parents, Rowan and Ava, Travis and Letty, Connie and Reaper, Noah, Iris, Gunner, and Sierra.

    The doorbell rings, and I leave the kitchen to go open it. Lilly was still getting ready, and Gabriel had disappeared somewhere.

    A few days ago, I''d put on my big girl pants and taken the test. All ten of them turned out to be positive. I still haven''t told Gabriel yet. I am waiting for the perfect time to disclose the good news. I''m not worried. I know that he''ll be happy, and so will Lilly. They''ve both wanted this since we got married again.

    "Hi Aunty Harper," Noah greets cheerfully. He''s holding Iris, who is sucking her thumb and looks a bit sleepy.

    "Hi Noah," I bend slightly and kiss both his and Iris''s cheeks. "Where are your parents?"

    He shrugs. "They said they had to get your housewarming gift from the trunk, but if you ask me, they are probably making out."

    Iugh at the disgusted look that crosses his face. It grosses him out; it is clearly to see.

    "Well,e on in." I open the door wider and he steps inside. "And, Noah," he turns to look at me. "You don''t ever have to knock, okay? This is like your home, so juste in."

    "Okay, Auntie Harper."

    *Do you need help with Iris so you can hang out with Lilly?"

    *Naah, we are good," He looks down at his baby sister and smiles before giving her rosy cheeks a peck.

    Anyone with two eyes can see that he adores Iris. The little girl has her big brother wrapped around her little finger. Noah is going to be a menace when it reaches time for her to start dating. He won''t be the only one. Rowan, Ethan, Reaper, and Gabriel, the men in her life, will make any boy interested in her run for the hills, screaming.

    Iugh, my heart at peace. The girls in our little circle will be well protected. I can already imagine how difficult it will be for them to date.

    "What''s so funny?" Ava''s voice cuts through my thought.

    I turn to look at her, Rowan by her side. Noah was right. They were making out. Her hair is a bit disheveled, and her lipstick is smeared.

    "You look pretty in red, Rowan," I tease. Both his and Ava''s eyes widenically.

    After the initial shock, he smirks and wiggles his brows. "Thank you. Anything my beautiful, gorgeous wife transfers on to me is bound to look pretty on me, and I''ll wear it like a brand if I have to."

    I hold back myugh when Ava melts right in front of me. The look they give each other is as clear as day. If they weren''t here, they''d be in tangled limbs, under a bed sheet.

    "Well, are you going to get in or are you just going to continue eye-fucking each other?"

    Rowan isn''t a bit embarrassed, but Ava''s cheek tum a nice shade of pink.

    "You haven''t told me why you wereughing?" Ava clears her throat while they get in.

    *Just imagined how it''ll be difficult for Iris to date when she starts being interested in boys, given how overprotective Noah will be." I finally say.

    "I know right?" Ava chimes in with a littleugh. "Kids grow up so fast. Soon she''ll be ready to date, and, I am telling you, Noah will cockblock her."

    Rowan growls and then shudders at the picture Ava has just painted. "She''s not going to have sex or date. Hell, we''ll send her to a nunnery. Maybe we can convince her to be a nun. There is no way I will let some greedy, dirty hormonal little shit near her."

 Chapter 0518

    ?Chapter 0518

    *Ro," Ava snaps.

    *She''ll stay pure and innocent until the day she''s old and gray. End of story." With that, he stomps away. The idea of Iris one day having sex clearly disturbed him.

    Ava turns to me. "I don''t get it! How can the idea of Iris having sex bother him so much when we have sex all the time? I am someone''s daughter, and he still went there with me!"

    I chuckle before rubbing her armfortingly. "Don''t worry, I think all men are the same when ites to their daughters. Gabriel said almost the same thing about Lilly... Ethan will react the same, and so will Reaper if they have a daughter. My dad used to say he would never allow any boy near me, and I bet if you asked your dad, he thought the same when you were born. Hell, I know he probably hates the idea that you and Rowan have sex. In his head, he''d rather believe Noah and Iris were delivered by stocks."

    Avaughs, the frown on her face clearing. "I almost forgot to tell you just how beautiful your home is," she hugs me before pulling away.

    Her baby bump is more visible now and hard to hide. The girls and I asked about the gender, and she told us that they decided to wait for the delivery day to know whether it was a boy or a girl.

    I haven''t told anyone about the baby. It won''t be fair to tell my friends before my husband.

    *Thank you. Come, I''ll give you a tour."

    ***

    We were all in the backyard, just chilling and rxing after a hearty meal. We kind of separated into groups. I was with the girls, Gabriel was with the men, including his dad, and the kids were with Gabriel''s mom.

    "By the way, when can youe by my office?" Ava asks, leaning against the chair, referring to the job she offered me. "I''ve been meaning to talk to you about it, but I kept forgetting."

    *I cane Monday morning," I answer her. "If that''s okay with you."

    She smiles, sighing in contentment, "That''s perfect."

    All of a sudden, Letty squeals in joy before turning to face us. "I just got an amazing idea."

    Connie and Ava both look at her with skeptical looks.

    *What idea?" Connie asks her. "Thest time you came up with an idea, you convinced us to open a sex-toypany."

    "Yeah," Ava seconds.

    Letty waves her hand in dismissal, brushing off what they just said. "Oh, stop it. It''s not like you opposed the idea, and, besides, aren''t you benefiting from it?"

    Well, this is just intriguing. I didn''t expect this from my girls. Not that I am against the idea or anything. I used dildos for quite some time after Liam passed... and even if I didn''t use them, who am I to judge?

    Ava folds her hand across her chest while Connie sinks into her seat. They look like kids who have been chastised by their parent.

    "Anyway, my idea was to bring Harper into the fold," Letty continues.

    *I thought I was already in the fold."

    *You are," she says, grabbing my hand. "But I want you deeper into it. I was thinking that if Ava and Connie agree, we can make you a partner."

    "Of a sex-toypany?"

    *Yes. We are doing pretty well, and the turnover is good, so you don''t have to worry that you are getting involved in a sinking ship."

    I stare at all three of them wide-mouthed, not really sure what to do or say. There are a lot of things to consider before I can even think of whether I want to join them.

    "I don''t know if you''ve heard of us, but ourpany is called Spark Limited." Connie joins in, using her hands to express her words. "You know, because we ignite sexual sparks."

    My eyes widen at the name and my jaw drops further down. "Seriously? You guys have revolutionized the meaning of a battery-operated boyfriend. You probably put otherpanies out of business with how good your toys are."

    I am not exaggerating. Their products are superb. Their dildos are so good and have this amazing feel to them. When touching them, you forget they are not real. They have a real feel to them; it''s like you are touching a real cock. Don''t get me started on its thrusting game and how right the temperature feels.

 Chapter 0519

    ?

    I have one of their products and it''s my favorite one. Well, used to be, since I no longer use it now that Gabriel and

    I are together. Anyway, you can barely tell the difference when you are using it. It feels like a real cock.

    They have other toys too, but their dildos are my favorites.

    "Well, it took a lot of research, and we all yed a part. It was really fun researching and experimenting," Ava adds with a smile.

    *Since you love our products," Letty says with a smirk. "How about bing a partner?"

    I frown as I think about it. "I don''t know. Gabriel gave back my family''spany. Won''t being associated with a sex-toypany ruin its image? You know how snubbish people can be."

    "Don''t worry about it," Ava speaks. "We are all kind of like silent partners. We have a CEO and a VP, but they are simply the face of thepany. We run things, and of course they help, but no one else knows we are the founders except the two and our spouses."

    It''s a tempting idea. A really tempting idea.

    "Why don''t you think about it first, then you''ll let us know?" Connie asks.

    "Okay, but I''ll have to run it through Gabriel."

    *No problem," Letty chips in, still excited and enthusiastic.

    We are quiet as we sip our drinks. I''m surprised by my friends. Surprised by such power houses. It is quite inspiring and motivating to have them as my friends. Seeing all they have aplished has pushed me to want to do better and be better.

    "What is it?" Letty asks when Ava sighs tiredly. "Is it the baby?"

    "No, it''s Noah"

    We turn to where she''s facing. She''s looking at Noah, who was clearly ignoring Sierra like she wasn''t there. Lilly has told me all about her crush on Noah, and, honestly, I feel for her.

    "I honestly can''t understand what''s wrong with that boy!" Ava fumes. "He''s kind to everyone except her. Sierra is a great girl, and she has managed to win my heart. I hate seeing Noah treat her that way."

    "Maybe have a talk with him?" I suggest, feeling a pang I can''t exin in my chest.

    "I''ve tried! I don''t know what else to do. It''s clear she likes him a lot. She once told me that she''s going to marry him one day, but that shouldn''t be a reason for him to treat her so horribly. I don''t understand why Noah dislikes her so much."

    I can feel her ache. It echoes minepletely, and it''s not because she''s Lilly''s best friend.

    "Give it time. They are kids. Maybe things will change once they are a bit more mature." Letty chimes in, squeezing Ava''s hand in reassurance.

    Ava sighs again. "I hope so. To be honest, I wouldn''t mind having Sierra as my daughter-inw one day. I just hope Noah doesn''t ruin something that could blossom into an amazing love between them. They are just kids, but there is a certain spark between them, one I can''t even exin. I just hope my son isn''t stupid enough to snuff it out."

    Excusing herself, she stomps towards Noah. There is something about the girl that captured my heart. I''m yet to figure out what it is.

    I lean back against my chair and watch Sierra, pondering what it is about her that drew me to her like a moth to a me.

    The answer doesn''te to me no matter how much I think about it. Eventually, I stop trying to figure it out and

    just embraced Sierra like my own. What I didn''t know is that the answer woulde to me yearster, when she''s all grown up and is facing an unimaginable loss.

 Chapter 0520

    ?

    Gabe.

    We watched our dad leave, heading straight for our mom. ording to him, we were boring as shit so he went to our mom, who, ording to him, was betterpany than we were.

    The moment he was out of earshot, Travis turned to us with his brows pulled down in a frown.

    "I don''t get why he is here," Travisined while staring daggers at Reaper.

    "Do we have a problem? Reaper asks. Even though his tone is calm, there is an unmistakable dangerous current underneath it.

    The way his eyes sh, even while cooking cool and collected, should be warning enough that nobody should cross him. He is danger personified, but my best friend is too much of an idiot to realize that. To realize that Reaper is anything but weak, even though right now he seems harmless.

    "Yes, we fucking do," Travis growled. "You killed my father, and you have the guts toe here?"

    "I''m here with my fianc¨¦. Whatever the fuck your problem is, deal with it."

    Rowan and I look at each other as the tension between Reaper and Travis increases. If we don''t handle this, things will escte quickly, and thest thing I want is for my wife to be upset because the spouses of two of her best friends are fighting.

    "Tension is running high, so maybe we should all take a breather." I try to calm down the situation.

    *Gabriel is right. Your fianc¨¦," he points at Reaper. "And your girlfriend," he points at Travis. "Are best friends. Do you really want to put them in a spot? Not forgetting that Reaper is Iris''s uncle."

    "If you want to be in Ava''s life, you have to ept Reaper. Like Rowan said, he is Iris''s uncle, so he will always be around," I add.

    "But he killed my dad! He''s a fucking murderer and should be in jail where his piece of shit brother is," he growled through clenched teeth.

    "You need to get your facts right, you fucker." Reaper snapped; his calm exteriorpletely gone. "I didn''t kill James even though I wanted to for the trouble he caused me. Now, disrespect me or Ethan again, and I''ll bury you so deep it''ll take a century to dig up your fucking remains!"

    A cold shiver slithers down my back. Reaper is a scary fucker and that''s saying a lot,ing from me.

    "What do you mean you aren''t the one that killed James?" Rowan asked, his eyes narrowing on Reaper.

    "Exactly that. Do you think I am the only one James fucked over? Where do you think he got the money to expand hispany? From banks? He ran into some trouble and was almost going bankrupt. The banks couldn''t take the risk since it was so high. He turned to some really bad people. I wasn''t the one that killed him, but I was used as a scapegoat since I am the only one people knew he was doing business with."

    Damn. I did not see thating. Color me fucking shocked because what the fucking hell?

    "That''s a lie," Travis spat the words, seething in anger. "He said you were after him because he outed your illegal business."

    "If it''s a lie, I wouldn''t be here as a free man, would I? What do you think I''ve been doing all these years in hiding? I''ve been looking for evidence that I wasn''t the one that killed your father. James tried to cover up the shit he got himself into by pointing fingers and ming me. Go and dig into the sources of your finances going back to five years before he died; you''ll find the truth."

    Travis continues to stare at Reaper, his eyes conveying how he was having a hard time believing what Reaper was saying.

    "If that''s the case, why didn''t he turn to my dad? They were best friends; Dad would have helped him," I question because it just doesn''t make any sense.

    "That''s a question I can''t answer because I am not James, but my best bet is his pride wouldn''t let him. Just like his son''s pride, won''t let him ask for help from his best friends."

    Travis looks down when Reaper says that. He is right though. We have offered to help Travis countless times, but he always declined our help, stating that he wanted to do it on his own.

    As much as we wanted to help him, we couldn''t force him. The best we could do is send investors his way, but that also hasn''t been easy given that the Howell''s are still acting against him.

    "Now that that''s settled," Reaper begins. "Are we going to have a problem because I''d hate to kill you? Losing you would devastate Letty and seeing Letty devastated would affect Connie and Ava. I wouldn''t want anything affecting my fianc¨¦ or the mother of my niece."

    Travis remains quiet for a long time before whispering, "We are good."

    I breathe a sigh of relief just as Rowan sags against his seat. Reaper isn''t someone to mess with. I think the only reason he never came after Rowan is because of Ava and Iris. I''d hate to see what happens when those two sh.

    "So," I begin. "When are you going to get down on one knee? You''ve been with Letty for so long, yet you aren''t married."

    "I was going to ask the same thing. Letty isn''t getting younger, Travis," Rowan adds.

    There was a frown on Travis'' face. "What does that mean?"

    "Exactly that, you idiot," Reaper sneers. "They are trying to be nice, but I am not. Unlike you, who can still have children even when you are old and your balls are shriveled up like a dying nt, Letty doesn''t have that luxury. She isn''t the kind to have children out of wedlock, so you had better speed it up."

    Travis res at him before he turns back to me and Rowan. His gaze is questioning, as if he''s asking if that''s what we meant.

    "What he said," Rowan mumbles with a grin.

    *So, you agree with him?" he asks, pointing at Reaper, who had what I can only assume is a smile. A scary as shit smile.

    "I mean," I shrug "We were trying to be nice about it."

    "There''s just been so much going on," he says, his eyes staring at nothing in particr. "I didn''t want to burden her. I thought I''d deal with the problems of thepany first before proposing and giving my focus on her and our family."

    Travis has been our best friend from the moment we were in diapers. Seeing him right now and how the stress of keeping thepany from falling apart has aged him makes me wish that we had pushed harder to help him because ourpany didn''t really get that much of a hit when the Howell''s came after us.

 Chapter 0521

    ?

    "I''ll talk to my parents." We turn, surprised to see Ava standing a few feet away, her focus on Travis. "Their revenge has gone on for too long."

    *Not long enough if you ask me," Reaper chimes in, his voice full of disgust. "Given your treatment of Ava, I wouldn''t stop if I were them."

    *Seriously? And what about your brother? He yed her and used her," Travis raged, his anger evident.

    "True, but he''ll be paying for that for a really long time... But what about you and your family? Ethan yed her for a few months but ended up falling for her. You, on the other hand, have treated her like shit since she was a child. Can you really repay the damage you caused her?"

    Rowan stiffens at the mention of Ethan and the love he has for Ava. I know my brother, and we have talked about this a few times. He''s still insecure when ites to Ethan. It guts him that if it weren''t for the fact that Ethan messed up, Ava would havepletely fallen in love with him, and he wouldn''t have had a chance with her.

    I keep telling him that Ava''s heart always belonged to him. I try assuring him that if Ava were really and truly in love with Ethan, then she would have waited for him to get out of prison so they could finally be together... But no matter what, his insecurity still remains.

    "Can we please just stop all this?" Ava asks in a whisper.

    Rowan pulls her onto hisp, where she settles, melting into him. Rowan is her home. I don''t get how my brother can''t see that. He should stop worrying so much about Ethan.

    Ava turns and focuses all her attention on Travis. "I don''t want to hate you anymore, Travis. I''m sick and tired of holding on to grudges and carrying this heavy weight that always pulls me down because I simply can''t let it all go and forgive."

    Travis looks shocked at her words. Rowan, on the other hand, doesn''t look surprised. He''s rubbing her baby bump while staring at her face as if she has him in a thrall.

    "What do you mean?" Travis asks in an unsteady voice.

    "It means I''ve forgiven you, and I''ve forgiven mother too... No more holding grudges," She takes a deep breath." One step at a time though, but for now, I''m no longer angry or bitter with both of you."

    Without any warning, he stands up, snatches her up from Rowan''s hands, and swings her around like a child while screaming ''Thank you'' over and over again.

    "Put me down, Travis, or I''ll throw up."

    Rowan follows suit. He snatches his wife back. "Do that again and, best friend or not, I''ll rip off your hands," he wams while trying to steady Ava, who seems dizzy.

    Travis steps back with his hands up in surrender, but a huge smile on his face. The shadows that were haunting him seemed to have disappeared when Ava told him she had forgiven him.

    I smile knowing that things are falling into ce like they were supposed to.

    "You look tired." My brows pull together at the exhausted look on Harper''s face.

    I don''t get it. I made sure that she didn''t even lift a finger for the housewarming party, yet she looked like she was dead on her feet with how she was dragging her feet and her half-closed eyes. How the fuck is that even possible?

    "I have a surprise for you," she smiles,pletely ignoring my statement.

    The party was over. Letty and Travis, along with Connie and Reaper, decided to go to their homes and not stay. My parents, Rowan and Ava, are spending the night. The kids too. Gunner had permission from his dad to sleep over. Harper talked to Sierra''s mom, and she agreed too.

    It was past eleven, and everyone was tucked in their bedrooms.

    "I don''t really give a damn about a fucking surprise. Not when you look like you could fall asleep any minute now."

    "Oh, trust me, you are going to love this surprise," she grabs my hand and drags me to our bedroom.

    Pushing the door open, we get in before she closes the door behind us. Walking us to bed, she pushes me down on it.

    "Harper"

    "Sit

    "Harper, you need to get off your feet." I try telling her as gently as I can

    "Don''t tell me what to do."

    "Will you just get off your feet? You look like you are about to drop."

    *Just sit and give me a fucking minute." She snaps, her eyes ring at me with fire.

    "Why are you angry all of a sudden? What kind of surprise are you giving me when you are snapping and snarling at me?" I don''t know why, but I like pushing her buttons.

    "Y-you..." She doesn''t finish her sentence; instead, she gets something from her drawer beforeunching it at me. I''m too slow to react (mainly because I didn''t think she would throw something at me), and it hit my forehead. "What the fuck, Harper?"

    "You made me angry, and now you''ve ruined the surprise!"

    I rub my forehead before grabbing whatever the fuck she hit me with. At first, I stare at it, trying to understand what the hell I was looking at. Today my brain seems a bit slow because it takes a while for me to realize that it''s a pregnancy test.

    My heart stops for a second, and my mouth drops open. I stare at the twin pink lines, praying and hoping that I am not imagining things.

    "Is this...?" My voice is thick as emotions clog my throat, making it hard to speak.

    "Yes," Harper whispers. "I''m pregnant."

    "Well, that would exin your moodiness. I was starting to think there''s something wrong with you."

    "Why you..." This time sheunches herself at me.

    I catch her. My hands wrap securely around her waist as I bring her to sit on myp. Before she can react and hit me or something, I seal our lips, kissing her like my life depends on it.

    "Thank you," I murmur,pletely out of breath. "I feel like the happiest and luckiest man in the world." Words can''t even begin to express just how grateful I am that I decided to hunt Harper down when the board gave me that stupid ultimatum. My heart is full in a way I never experienced and never thought possible. Harper and Lilly have brought light into my life, and I can''t wait to share that same light with the baby we are expecting.

    "I love you, Harper" I murmur against her lips.

    "Right back at you, Gabriel. I love you."

    I smile, her words warming my heart. I feelplete, and it''s all thanks to my family.

 Chapter 0522

    ?Chapter 0522

    Emma

    I stare at the mess in front of me, not really sure what to do with it. I''ve been off these past few days and I haven''t been able to pinpoint the exact reason as to why I''ve been feeling this way.

    I''ve tried thinking about it, but nothinges to mind. All I know is that I have been feeling off. Like something is wrong or something bad is about to happen. I can''t shake the feeling no matter what I do. It sits still, heavily weighing on my heart.

    Have you ever felt that way? Like you are having premonition of something that''s about to happen? It frustrates me because I can''t pin it down, and it''s driving me insane.

    Sighing, I look down at my gloved hands. Mia suggested that I should do something to take my mind off my worries and to rx. Yesterday I talked to Ava, and I happened to mention it. She suggested I should try gardening. ording to her, it used to help her, especially when she was stressed and wanted to do something to take her mind off things.

    Ava told me she used to nt vegetables, but she suggested I could try nting flowers if I didn''t want to nt vegetables.

    So here I am, having no fucking clue about what I am doing. Ava was always the outdoor one. She loved ying with dirt and digging whatever treasure she thought she could find. When we got older, she transitioned to nting anything that could be nted. Most of the herbs and vegetables we used for cooking were nted by her. We also always had fresh flowers in vases around the house. They were also courtesy of Ava.

    I''ve never nted a single thing in my life, so I have no idea what to do. Does it just involve shoving the seed down the soll and watering, or is there something more to it?

    "What are you doing?" I was so lost in thought that I hadn''t noticed Gunnering into the backyard.

    I look from him, to my hands, to the sachets of flower seed, and then back to him again.

    "I honestly don''t know," I answered, sitting on the back of my legs. "I thought I could nt some flowers, but I don''t know where to start."

    He looks at me for what seems like forever. This time, though, there wasn''t any anger or bittemess in his gaze. Just curiosity and some hesitancy. It''s like, as much as he is curious about me, he is not sure whether to trust me given what I''d put him through.

    "I''ll help you," he finally says, stunning me into silence.

    My throat is clogged with emotions, so my voicees out a little rough: "Really?"

    "Yeah, we used to do a lot of gardening with Aunt Ava because I liked it a lot. I can show what she taught me."

    I try to push down the emotions, but I can''t. The fact that he is willing to help and work with me is a miracle. I thought it would probably take months to get him to open up. This is a freaking miracle, and I am beyond happy.

    "Is your father okay with you being here?" I asked.

    As much as I am happy that he is here, I didn''t want to undermine Calvin or do anything that would bring a rift between them. I understand that Calvin still doesn''t trust me and he hates me. If he wasn''t okay with Gunner seeing me, then I would talk to him and try to convince him to let us spend time together. I wouldn''t want to anger him by going against his wishes.

    "Yes, he said he''d follow my lead," Gunner answered, getting down on the ground.

    Damn it! Heree the tears.

    "Why are you crying?"

    I blink back the tears. "I am not."

    Rolling his eyes at me, he says, "Yes, you are. I am not a child. You can''t lie to me. So why are you crying?"

    I was caught off-guard beforeughing. "I''m just really happy that you are here."

    "Oh."

    He''s quiet for a while before he bends forward and starts mixing the soil,

    "Should I get you a pair of gloves?"

    "No need... I like the feel of soil on my hand. It makes me feel connected to the earth, as weird as it sounds."

 Chapter 0523

    ?

    I stare at him for a while. I then take off my gloves.

    "Now, what are you doing?" He seemed amused by my actions.

    "Well, you are my teacher, if you think it''s better to use my bare hands, then that is what I will do."

    I follow what he''s doing and mix the soil together. I don''t know whether it''s just having the soil in my bare hand, or it''s having him next to me, or both, but a certain peace settles over me. I feel light and airy as if I am on cloud nine.

    My worries disappear as Gunner teaches me about gardening. No wonder both he and Ava love this so much. It''s so rxing, and I weirdly feel connected to the earth.

    "Thank you for the gift," Gunner says, pulling my focus to him.

    I''d decided that I would give him a birthday and Christmas gift for every year I missed. A few days ago, I got him one. I didn''t know what to get him, but a shop attendant told me I should get him an electric water gun. He called it Mongu Kui S-two. He demonstrated how it works for me. It looked cool. It''s something Travis, Rowan, and Gabe would have loved to have when they were kids.

    "I hope you liked it."

    He smiles, reminding me so much of Calvin. "Definitely! It''s so cool. I can''t wait to show Noah. Maybe his parents can get him one, and we could shoot at each other."

    "I''m d you like it, Gunner." The happiness that fills my heart knowing that he loves my gift is imaginable. I was so worried that he wouldn''t love it.

    I pat the soil after nting the flower seed.

    "No, don''t do that," Gunner stops me, pulling my hand away.

    "Why?"

    "It will sound stupid, but I believe that the nt will struggle to find its way up."

    I know that''s not the case, but he''s so cute.

    I smile "It''s not stupid, and if that''s what you believe, then I won''t do that."

    I wanted to shout for the whole world to hear. To be able to spend some time with Gunner is a dreame true. My smile broadens. Ava probably knew what she was doing when she suggested I start gardening. She knew Gunner loved it and probably hoped it would bring us together.

    To be honest, I don''t know if I would have enjoyed this as much if it weren''t for Gunner. "Shoot," Gunner quickly stands up. "Looks like Rex has escaped home once again." It''s then I hear the dog''s bark.

    "I can go and fetch him." I also get up and suggest.

    "Thank you, but no. He doesn''t know you and he isn''t used to you. He won''t agree toe with you."

    Before I could respond to let him know that we could get him together, he rushed out of the yard. He''s fast as he rushes towards the street. I followed behind him.

    Remember when I said I got that weird feeling? Well, I thought I''d calmed it down, but I was wrong. It starts intensifying as I rush after him.

    "Rex," he calls.

    The dog that had been peeing on a neighbor''s bush across from us is startled, and so it starts to run away. I was just behind Gunner when he started crossing the road. He was so focused on Rex that he didn''t see the car that wasing our way. The driver was looking at his phone. He didn''t notice a kid was crossing the road. Besides that, with the current speed, he was going above the speed limit for this area.

    The speeding car was just inches away. I didn''t think. I sped up my pace before pushing Gunner from behind. He fell, his knees hitting the pavement, but he was safe and out of the car''s path. My relief was short-lived as pain like no other radiated throughout my body. Thest thing I heard was the screeching of tires and Gunner screaming my name. Coldness filled my body. As darkness consumed me, I couldn''t help but think that even if I didn''t make it, at least I got to spend a few hours with Gunner, because that is all I ever asked for and wanted.

 Chapter 0524

    ?

    Calvin.

    Today was a day for just chilling and rxing. I didn''t have much going on, so after Gunner and Ipleted the chores around the house, he asked if he could go see Emma.

    I was surprised at first, but I had promised him that I would with his flow. That I would respect his decision if he wanted to get to know Emma and allow her to be in his life.

    She greeted him whenever they met and talked to him, even though he didn''t always say much. Honestly, I think she times things so that they can meet. Whether he''s going to school and she''s going to work or he''sing back from school, and she''sing back from work.

    Then she sent him a birthday gift. I thought that she was trying to buy him with gifts, but that''s after I read the message on the card. It was short, but heartfelt. To summarize things, she told him that she''d be giving him gifts for every birthday and Christmas she missed.

    I should be irritated but I am not. I know most parents would feel betrayed by their kid if said kid chose to get to know the parent that abandoned them. I am not. To me, Gunner''s happiness is the most important. If getting to know his mother and having her around will make things easier for him and make him happier, then so be it. It doesn''t matter what grudges I have towards her.

    Besides, I decided to move on and leave the past behind. I finally asked Kinley out and she said yes. If I want a chance with her. If I want things between us to work, then I need to let go of my past with Emma. I can''t hold on to it and expect it not to affect my current rtionship. I have to let go of the old in order to receive the new.

    So far, things are going well, and I like where I am at. Kinley and I haven''t had our date yet, but that will happen next week since I just asked her the day before yesterday. As much as I wanted us to go out this weekend, she had a deadline she was trying to meet by Monday next week.

    Sighing, I fix my eyes on the football match that I was watching before my thoughts cut through. I had missed a lot given that my team had scored, and I had missed it. Just when I was settling in, I heard Cunner''s scream.

    I sat upright, not really sure that I heard it right.

    "Daddy, help!" came his scream. He hasn''t called me Daddy in a long time. I went from Daddy to Dad when he turned seven.

    I spring up from the couch, my heart racing in fear. He sounded scared out of his mind. All kinds of thoughts race through my mind as I dash out of the door. I swear if Emma has done anything to hurt him, I''ll strangle and kill her with my bear hands. I won''t allow her to hurt him a second time after he''s decided to give her a chance.

    I was running towards Ava''s house when I noticed amotion on the road. A man was pacing in what seemed like distress. There was someone lying on the ground, and a few of our neighbors were justing out of their houses.

    My focus was on Gunner, and I was about to ignore the whole thing and go get him from Emma when his form caught my attention. I stop dead in my tracks, watching my son

    kneeling beside the body on the road.

    Quickly, I get my feet to move and run towards them. My lungs felt constricted, and my heart was pounding. It felt like it was fighting to get out of my chest. I felt fear like I''d never felt before.

    I get there within seconds. I push aside the guy and look down. That''s when the sight of Emma hits me like a runaway train.

    My eyes widen, and my heart stops for a moment. My knees weaken, and I fall down on the ground, unable to stand upright.

    Emma is oozing blood from behind her head, her nose, and her mouth. Her legs were bent at an unnatural angle. She looked pale; her lips had started turning blue.

    "Someone call an ambnce!" I shouted as fear gripped.

    "Already have. They are on their way." I don''t know who answered, and I don''t care. All cared about was Emma being alright.

    With trembling hands, I reach for her throat to feel her pulse. I sigh in relief when I feel it. It''s weak, but it''s there.

    "I tried waking her up, but she wouldn''t wake up. Why isn''t she waking up?" Gunner tells me in a trembling voice.

    Fuck I hate seeing him like this.. And where is the fucking ambnce?

    I hold her hand just like Gunner is doing, begging her to hold on. I know we''ve had our differences, but seeing her like this is killing me. It''s destroying something inside me.

 Chapter 0525

    ?Chapter 0525

    "Come on, Emma, open those big blue eyes." I beg for mine and Gunner''s sake. "Don''t you want me to forgive you? Then wake up."

    She doesn''t. Her eyes remain close. She is almost white as a sheet, and her blonde hair is spread behind her. If it weren''t for the blood that covered it, she would have looked like a doll.

    Waiting there with her was excruciating. I keep feeling her pulse just to make sure she''s still with us. By now, more people had joined us, but that didn''t matter. They didn''t matter. Not when Ermma looked like a fucking corpse. Her chest was barely rising and falling.

    "Fuck this." I get up ready to pull my car from the garage and take her to the hospital because it seemed like the ambnce was taking its sweet time.

    Just as I was about to turn around, I heard the sirens. My heart sags in relief as I turn to see them approaching. The others clear out the way for them to reach us. Two paramedics rush down with a stretcher towards us.

    "I''m Tasha, and this is Eric. What happened?" the female paramedic asks after introducing themselves right before they kneel down.

    "I didn''t mean to," the man that was pacing earlier says. "I didn''t see her crossing the road?* And howe you didn''t see her crossing the road, especially when your eyes should have been on the fucking road? I wanted to ask, but I held it off. He didn''t matter.

    All through as the paramedics worked on Emma, Gunner held her hand, his tears falling silently down his face. Once they were done, they gently put her on the stretcher.

    "Who is riding with her?" Tasha asks.

    "We are"

    "And you are?"

    "Her family... this is our son," I reply. I didn''t expect them to stop us, but I wanted to see therm try.

    "Get in,"

    Thaul Gunner up before getting inside the ambnce too. My heart was in a tight grip watching them work on her. I may no longer want her, but Emma will always have a special ce in my heart. After all, she is the mother of my son.

    The driver starts the ambnce, and we drive off, rushing to take her to the hospital. All the while, all I can think about is how I refused to forgive her. What if I never get the chance to? shake my head, refusing to give in to those negative thoughts.

    "My baby. Where is my baby?" someone says, but my brain doesn''t register who it is. I''m too lost in my fear and worry about Emma for anything else to register.

    "Sir," someone shakes me, ''she''s asking for her son."

    It''s then I realize that it was Erma''s voice. She had woken up.

    Both Gunner and I get closer to her. Watching as she struggled to keep her eyes open.

    "Mom," Gunner whispers, kissing her forehead.

    Emma gives him a teary smile. "You called me Mom. It feels good hearing you calling me Mom... I''m sorry. I''m sorry for the way I acted. No one knows, but I used to talk to you when you were in my belly. You were my peace and every time I felt you move, you brought joy to me."

    It''s a struggle for her to talk. She''s weak and every breath she''s taking looks painful.

    "When I heard your cry the first time, I wanted to hold you; I wanted to kiss your chubby cheeks, b-but I was afraid. Afraid you''ll leave me. I never told anyone, even your dad, but I always loved you. I had loved someone before and they left me. I was afraid that you''d leave me too if I allowed myself to love you."

    "I would never leave you," Gunner cries, holding her tight, afraid she''ll leave him instead.

    "I know that now, but I didn''t know it back then. I was scared, na?ve, and stupid," she whispers, before closing her eyes for a moment. "I love you so much, my beautiful baby boy. Always remember that, okay?"

    Why the fuck does it feel like she was saying goodbye?

    "Calvin," she calls, and I rush to her before grabbing her hand. "I''m sorry. Sorry for not seeing the treasure that you are. I''m sorry for everything that I''ve done. I also want to thank you. Thank you for loving me and loving Gunner. You are a good man, Calvin, and I am blessed that I met you. I never told you, but you were always my anchor. You are the reason I never gave up on life back when we were in college. I-..."

    She doesn''t finish. Her eyes close, and her brows scrunch up. She gasps in pain. The monitors start beeping loudly, and her grip on my hand loosens.

    "Fuck! Fuck!" Eric curses as they begin rushing around.

    "What''s happening?" I stammer as sweat trickles down my back and fear engulfs me. I can''t stop the tears that fall down my face.

    "She''s tlining." Tasha is the one that answers, panic filling her voice.

 Chapter 0526

    ?Chapter 0526

    Coldness fills my body as my breathes rapidly. I can''t breathe as the pain in my chest intensifies. I bring Gunner close to me, holding on to him like he is a lifeline.

    This can''t be happening. This can''t be happening. She has to be fine.

    I repeat those words over and over again like a fucking mantra, because it''s the only thing that''s keeping me from losing it.

    Something has to give. She can''t leave now. Not when Gunner just decided to give her a chance. To ept her back into his life. I know my son, Emma, dying would devastate him. He''s only wish was to have a mother. For Emma to be his mother and ept him. It would be cruel if he finally got the chance only for him to lose her.

    *She''s okay. She''s okay," Eric announces, relief sounding in his voice.

    I have never been so happy to hear words. The relief is immense as a ray of hope begins to shine in the otherwise dark cloud that had surrounded us.

    I sink against the van. Air whooshes out of me in relief. I watch her vitals like a hawk. Praying nothing happened again. My eyes keep alterating from her vitals to the rising of her chest. Those two keep me sane. Keep me frompletely losing it. Like I said, no matter what, Emma will always have a special ce in my heart.

    I am so focused on her that I don''t register the fact that the van has stopped. It''s only when the door opens that it finally hits me. We were at the hospital. They gently get her out of the van, and we follow behind them.

    *Is she going to be okay, Dad?" His voice is so small. It''s filled with worry and fear.

    I hug him close to me. Squeezing him in an attempt to assure him without really uttering the words, because how can I? How can I tell him that his mother will be okay when I am not really sure?

    We pick our pace and run after them. They rush to the emergency section, shouting orders as a bunch of nurses and doctors start rushing in a flurry of movements.

    *Prep the surgery room immediately and get her to Radiology. I need those results now," one of the doctors urges as he moves Emma and checks the back of her head.

    No one tells us anything as they rush her to one of the rooms. Ten minutes or soter, theye out with Emma in a hospital gown. They rush past us and take her to the operating room.

    My heart is racing as everything is happening. I can barely think as every little thing overwhelms me. I am taken back to when Ava was shot and we almost lost her. At that thought, I turn to Gunner.

    *Stay here, okay?" I tell him. "I need to make a phone call and let the others know."

    He doesn''t even look at me. His eyes focused on the door they took Emma in. He just nods his head.

    I get to the nurse''s station. "Can I please use your telephone? I left mine at home and I need to call the rest of her family."

    "You are with thedy that was just rushed in?" she asks, her face drawn in sympathy.

    "Yes,"

    "Here," she hands me the phone.

    It''s when I have it in my hands that I realize that I don''t know her mom''s number or Travis''s. I calm down, pushing away the panic that was threatening to ovee me. I dial the only other number I know, like the back of my hand.

    "Hello"

    "H-hey Ava," I say, my voice trembling a bit.

    *Calvin? Is that you? What''s wrong? Is everything okay with Gunner? You sound terrified," she throws the questions at me rapidly, without giving me the chance to answer.

    Fuck! Get it together, Calvin. Get it the fuck together. I scream at myself.

    "I need you to contact Emma''s mother and Travis ande to the hospital," I mumble, all of a sudden feeling tired and worn out.

    "Why?"

    *Emma was hit by a car. We are at the hospital, and she is in surgery." I all but whisper the words.

    There is a shocked gasp at her end and a crash.

    "W-we are on our way. I''ll let them know," she stammers, her voiceced with pain.

    I hang up the phone and just lean against the nurse''s station for a while. It''s hard to breathe as my emotions threaten to drown me.

    *You okay, honey?" I look up to see an elderly nurse staring at me with worry.

 Chapter 0527

    ?Chapter 0527

    I pull myself up straight, my back ramrod, as I try to give myself some false bravado. I try to get the words out. To tell her that I am okay, but my tongue is heavy, and the words refuse to leave my mouth.

    She gently pats my shoulders. "I understand. Go and take a seat. It looks like your son needs a shoulder to lean on right now. You can be each other''s anchor."

    I do the only thing I can. I nod my head before leaving. I get to Gunner and sit next to him before pulling him onto myp. We hug each other, holding on to one another.

    I don''t know how long it is when I feel someone shaking me. I focus on the person only to find Ava staring at me. Her brows pulled down, her mouth turned down, and her eyes full of worry.

    "We are all here," she mumbles softly before sitting next to me. "Is she still in surgery?"

    "Yes," I croak out the word that feels to have been pulled from deep down.

    "What happened?" Travis asks, holding their mother, who seemsst in his hands.

    She seems like she has checked out. Or maybe she''s also remembering. So far, three of her family members have been in the hospital. One of them never came out alive, the other one was a close call, and now Emma.

    Everyone who knows her is here. Travis, their mom, Ava and Rowan, Connier and Reaper, Letty, Gabriel, and his wife. Rowan and Gabriel''s parents too. The only one missing is Molly. I wonder if anyone has informed her about her best friend.

    "It was my fault," Gunner whispers. "We were in the garden when I heard Rex from across the street. She wanted to get him, but I insisted that I should get him. I didn''t see the car. She pushed me out of the way, and she got hit instead."

    I rub his back, trying tofort him. Emma saved our son, but got hurt in the process. I don''t know what to do with that knowledge.

    "It''s my fault," Gunner cries brokenly, his pain shattering my heart to pieces.

    I hate seeing him like this. I hate seeing him broken. I hate seeing him me himself. Seeing the broken look in his eyes is killing me. Destroying me from the inside out.

    Kate kneels down and takes his hand before kissing the back of it. "It''s not your fault and don''t you ever think like that, okay?"

    He nods his head, but I can see it in his eyes. He is still ming himself, and he''ll continue doing that for some time.

    From there we are quiet. Time flies by but no one notices. No one cares when we are all so worried about Emma. We were all beginning to get agitated by theck ofmunication and information from the doctor when the doors to the operating room opened after what seemed like forever.

    *Emma''s family?"

    I didn''t like the look on the doctor''s face, and I didn''t want Gunner hearing what he had to say in case it''s bad news. Let''s be honest, doctors don''t really know how to break off bad news to patients'' families. Some of them oftene off as unfeeling.

    "Connie, would you mind taking Gunner to get a snack?" I request turning to her.

    *Sure"

    "But I don''t want to go," Gunner protests, his brows furrowed stubbornly.

    "Please..."

    He must have seen something in my eyes because he agrees. He takes Connie''s hand and they leave. The moment they are out of earshot, I turn back to her doctor.

    *I am just going to be blunt; she died twice while we were operating," he says, staring at each one of us in the eyes. "She suffered a skull fracture, and we had to drain the blood from her brain. Apart from that, both her legs are broken, and she also suffered a spinal cord injury."

    Kate''s heart wrenching sobs fill the space as the news shatters her and robs her of her ability to stand. Travis and Ava hold her between them. Each one holding one of her hands as they support her.

    "Will she be okay?" I ask, afraid of the answer.

    "I can''t answer that; we''ll just have to wait. My main worry is the swelling in her brain and her spine injury, I have to warn you though. Due to the spinal cord injury, she may end up disabled and stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of her life."

 Chapter 0528

    ?

    All my strength leaves me, and I stumble at his words, unable to fullyprehend what he was saying or the meaning behind his words.

    Shocked gasps fill the room as everyone stares at the doctor as if he''s an alien from outer space.

    "Is she awake? Can we see her?" thises from Ava.

    *She''s not awake. She''s in the ICU, and only immediate family members are allowed to see her." He answers. "I''ll arrange for that in a few... If you excuse me, I need to check on her."

    We are left staring at his back as he walks away. It''s a devastating blow to hear that Emma may not ever walk again.

    I take my seat, unable to stand up longer given that my damn knees were weak.

    I don''t understand. She was on her way to recovery. She was doing well. She was mending fences and putting her life back together. Why the hell did this happen to her?

    "When will she wake up?" Gunner asks the doctor, who was busy checking Emma''s charts.

    She was no longer in the ICU. They had moved her about two days ago when she was out of danger.

    Her head is bandaged, and both her legs are in a cast. Even then, she still looked like an angel as she slept on the white hospital bed, and her hair spread across the pillow. Her chest rose and fell, but that was the only indication that she was alive. Well, that and the steady beeping of the heart monitor. Hershes fanned her cheeks, which, just like the rest of her face, was a bit pale.

    "I''m not sure, little guy. At this point, it all depends on her. She should have woken up, but maybe she doesn''t want to." He answers him, as gently as he can. "We call it the will of the patient. Some have the willpower toe back and fight to get back to thend of the living, and others, due to maybe some terrible things that happened, don''t have the will and don''t want toe back."

    I could strangle him, I swear, if I was sure that I wouldn''t end up in jail for assaulting a doctor... But then again, he did warn us that he doesn''t like mincing and sugarcoating words. I guess that applies even to kids.

    Gunner looks heartbroken at his words. His eyes keep shifting from the idiot doctor to his mother. He has refused to let go of her hand since we got here. For thest two days, this is where we have spent our time. Only going home to shower and change.

    "But you can talk to her. I hear that they listen even if they can''t respond. Maybe you can give her a reason to want toe back." with those parting words, he walks out.

    "I want her toe back," Gunner whispers, his lips trembling as he fights back his tears. "I want to nt more flowers with her."

    Fuck. It breaks my heart to see him like this. It''s killing me to watch his heart shatter. It destroys me to see him losing hope every day that goes by without Emma waking up.

    "Please, mom, wake up," he cries. "I promise I''ll forgive you if you open your eyes."

    His sobs undo something inside me. I hug him tightly, wishing I could take his pain away. Wishing I could give him what he desires. I can''t do any of that, but I can be there for him, and that''s what I n to do, no matter what happens.

    *Please just wake up," Gunner pleads brokenly. "Please."

    "Noah was here today," Gunner tells his mom whilebing her hair with a brush that Kate had gotten him. She told him it was Emma''s favorite brush because it was given to her by her dad when she was sixteen. Apparently,

    it was specially made for her. There isn''t one like it in the entire world.

    It was day four, and still nothing. We take tums with the rest of her family, always making sure that she isn''t alone and that there is someone to talk to her.

    The doctors assured us that everything was fine. The swelling had subsided, there was brain activity, and she was healing well, yet we didn''t understand why she wasn''t waking up.

 Chapter 0529

    ?

    I was sitting next to Gunner and we have been here every day. Gunner''s school was understanding, so he hasn''t gone to school. Noahes to check on him every day and brings him his homework.

    "We talked, and he told me he knows how it feels. It felt good to talk to him about it. To talk to someone who has been there and understand how hard it is," he pauses while he detangles a knot in her hair before continuing." Don''t worry, you two will get along fine once you get to know each other well."

    Come one Emma, please wake up. Wake up for the sake of Gunner. That''s all I ask. I pray, internally pleading with her to open her eyes.

    "We have so much to do," Gunner puts the brush down. "So much we never got to do. I still need to get to know you and you still need to get to know me. Plus, you promised me a gift for every year you missed. One down, seventeen to go."

    Just like the past four days, Emma didn''t answer. There isn''t even a movement to give us hope that she''ll be fine.

    Sighing, Gunner takes her hand and kisses the back of her hand. "I never got to say it, but I love you. I love you so much, mom. Please juste back to me."

    I close my eyes, unable to bear witness to my son''s pain. I want to block out his heartbreaking sobs, but I can''t. They haunt me. Destroying me from the inside out. Silent tears fall down my face as I hear my son crying. I feel so fucking helpless because this is the one thing I can''t give him. I can''t make his mother better.

    "G-Gunner?"

    My eyes snap open when her voice prates my skull. Gunner and I stare at her, both stunned to see Emma awake.

    ***

    "You are both fussing too much; I''m okay," Emmains with a smile on her face.

    I can''t tell you just how fucking relieved I am. Gunner is over the moon and so is everyone else. We are happy that she pulled through. I don''t know what I would have done if she hadn''t. Gunner would have been destroyed.

    I shake those thoughts away and watch as my son fusses over his mother. I know him and I know the fear of losing her is still there.

    "Are youfortable?" Gunner asks her, his brows furrowed in all seriousness.

    She motions for him toe closer, since she can''t move much. When he does, she kisses his forehead before running her finger down his cheek.

    "I''m okay, my love," she whispers, tears filling her eyes. "You are here and that''s what matters.*

    Gunner leans into her touch, probably savoring the moment with his mom. I chuckle softly. I''ve probably been forgotten. Right now, I don''t exist in their world.

    "The results are back." The door opens, and Doctor Evans interrupts the moment. "It isn''t that great."

    "It''s okay. Just give it to me as it is," Emma says, her eyes showcasing her strength.

    "You might be confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your life," he begins, and all the air whooshes out of her. She looks defeated.

    "You said might, right?" I interrupt when Doctor Evans goes to speak again. "Meaning that there might be a chance that she''ll recover and walk again, am I correct?"

    *Spinal cord injuries areplicated; I don''t want to give you any false hopes," he replies.

    "Is there a chance or not?" I ground out through gritted teeth.

    "Yes. A very slim one."

    "Then that''s all we need." Gunner says, looking at his mom with determination. "She''s okay and she''ll stay okay. She''ll also walk one day."

    Those tears that Emma was holding back finally fall. Since she''s unable to get up, Gunner rises on his toes and hugs her.

    Gunner is right. That small, slim chance is all we need. That small ray of hope is all we need. Everything else will fall into ce eventually, and it will all be okay in the end.

 Chapter 0530

    ?

    Harper.

    I shift on the bed, trying to find afortable position. I honestly look like a whale and feel like one too. I am foldingundry because, apparently, that''s the only thing I am allowed to do.

    Gabriel has been overprotective since he learned that I was pregnant. I can barely do anything without him going into a panic. As much as it was driving me crazy, I also found it kind of sweet.

    I smile as I think of the time when I was pregnant with Lilly. Liam had been caring. He wasn''t as overbearing as Gabriel was, but he cared nheless. I mean, he used to run to the store to get my nighttime cravings without anyint. Only a man that cares does that.

    This pregnancy is so different from Lilly in so many ways. For example, with Lilly, I barely suffered any morning sickness. With this one, I got evening sickness too, and itsted up to half my second trimester. It was honestly horrible being sick all the freaking time.

    Then there are the cravings. While with Lilly, I craved sweet things. With this one, though, I lean more towards savory and salty. It''s so crazy. I haven''t craved anything sweet since I found out I was pregnant. Don''t even start with the weird-ass cravings. Just yesterday I wanted a rock. Can you believe that? Who the hell craves a rock? Me apparently.

    Each pregnancy has been a journey on its own. They were both different yet simr at the same time. I will always be thankful to Liam for being there for me, but it feels great to have Gabriel with me on this journey.

    He has been to every doctor''s appointment. He''s been there anytime I went shopping for the baby. He painted the baby''s room and put together the furniture. He''s been there through every milestone. If I am being honest, I think both he and Lilly are more excited about this baby than I am.

    Standing up, I grab the foldedundry, ready to take them to our closet. I couldn''t wait to take a nap. Those have been my saving grace since I got too heavy to movefortably.

    I had just taken one step when a gush of liquid poured down my legs. I release the clothes in my hand in shock. I don''t get it, honestly. This isn''t my first pregnancy, so why am I shocked to see my water break? I don''t move. I stand there frozen as I watch my water drench the carpet beneath me.

    "Gabriel!" I scream once my brain starts functioning.

    Damn it. I should have known. I should have fucking known.

    "Gabriel," I scream again.

    I don''t even bother with the fallen clothes. With my big belly, it''s impossible to bend and pick things.

    The door bangs open, pulling me from my thoughts. Gabriel rushes in, with Lilly right behind him. "What''s happening?" they ask in unison.

    I waddle to the closet where I''d ced my baby''s bag.

    "My water just broke," I answer them as I move. "We need to get to the hospital."

    "W-what?"es his shocked response.

    I get out of the closet to find Gabriel staring at a wall as if he had lost his mind.

    "Get a move on, Gabriel, or we are going to have this baby here in the house."

    Clutching the dresser, I groan when the first contraction hits me. Fuck. Like I said, I should have known. I''ve been feeling contractions since yesterday. I ignored them, thinking they were just Braxton hicks. After all, they weren''t that painful, were irregr in frequency, and they went away when I changed positions.

    "Gabriel!"

    *Stop shouting; I hear you. Fuck! It''s too early," he mutters, taking the bag away from me.

    *First of all,nguage, and second, we are only like a week ahead of schedule." I groan while breathing in and out like we were taught in birthing sses.

    "What''s happening? You two are scaring me," Lilly asks, her eyes shifting from her father to me.

 Chapter 0531

    ?

    "It''s okay, Lilly-Bear. I''m just about to have the baby... Remember what I told you will happen when it''s time?"

    She nods her head. "Yes. You said you''d be in pain, but I shouldn''t worry because that''s part of bringing the baby into the world."

    "Good," I wince as another contraction hits me. "That''s what''s happening right now, so don''t be afraid."

    Gabriel grabs my hand and helps me out of the room. I breathe through my nose and out of my mouth, but let''s be honest. That doesn''t really help. Does it?

    "I just don''t understand. Why do you have to be in pain? Why can''t the baby juste out of you without causing you pain?"

    Thest thing I want is to traumatize my daughter by exining to her that the pain is necessary for pushing the baby out of me. She''ll want to know why the baby needs to be pushed out, and I''ll have to exin it''s because the baby is big and my passage is smaller, so those contractions are needed to push the baby out. Then she''ll want to know what passage that is, and I''ll have to tell her that a babyes out through the vajayjay.

    As you can see, that is not a conversation she''s ready for. She''ll be traumatized when she learns how a baby reallyes into the world.

    "Fuck," I growl when another one hits me.

    "Language." Both father and daughter tell me at the same time.

    "Are you seriously asking me to mind mynguage now?" I snap at them, my hand squeezing the daylights out of Gabriel''s.

    *You seem angry, mommy."

    *You think?" I re at her just as we get outside.

    The driver sees us and quickly opens the door. Gabriel gently ushers me in before both he and Lilly get in too. *Call Ava... Let her know," I instruct.

    I close my eyes and try to breathe through the pain. Fuck it! Why do we put ourselves through this over and over again? I swore after having Lilly and going through that pain that I''d never have another baby. Yet here I am. Gabriel and Lilly convinced me. Ipletely forgetting that they wouldn''t be the ones going through thebor pains.

    "Why are the contractionsing in so fast? Your water just broke. Doesn''t it start slowly before it builds up?" Gabriel asks in concern, his hand rubbing my back.

    "Once the water breaks, all hell breaks loose. My contractions started yesterday."

    A look of horror takes over his face before he literally bursts. "Why the hell didn''t you tell me?"

    *Because I didn''t think much of it. I thought they were just Braxton hicks since we still had a week to go."

    "I hate this. I hate seeing you in pain," he mumbles.

    Ipletely ignore his heartfelt words. "Well, you are the one that wanted another baby," I snap, which makes him shut his mouth and look at me as if I stole his most precious possession.

    The drive to the hospital is aplete blur. I spent it mostly trying to fight the pain and my tears. I also had to stop myself from strangling Gabriel each time a contraction hit me. I was in pain, miserable and angry at Gabri and Lilly for convincing me to have another baby.

    My doctor was on standby. The moment we got to the hospital, I was wheeled to my room, where Gabriel helped me change.

    "Things seem to be moving quite fast. Are you ready to bring your baby into the world?" Macy, my doctor asks with a smile on her face.

    Gosh. How can she be so happy when I am so miserable? What is wrong with her?

    I don''t answer. Instead, I frown and clench my fist when yet another contraction hits me. This one is really painful.

    "I feel like pushing." I mumble, fighting back the tears. "I need to push."

    "That''s good. Just a couple of minutes. Let''s get you to thebor room first," she answers as they begin wheeling me out of my room.

 Chapter 0532

    ?

    "No! I need to push," I growl, grabbing Gabriel by the shirt.

    I feel crazy. Like I''ve lost my damn mind. The pain was definitely driving me crazy.

    Thankfully, we got to the room before I gave birth in the hallway of the damn hospital. I breathe a sigh of relief when we get to the room, and they begin prepping me.

    Ava is already inside. I''m thankful to have someone who understands what it feels like when your vagina literally splits into two so that a tiny little human can make its way into the world.

    "I can''t hold back anymore," I grit out before moving up and pushing with everything I have.

    I swear I feel my butt crack split, and it just adds to more of my pain.

    *This is all your fucking fault!" I scream at Gabriel while holding his hand in a death grip.

    I re at him. My breathse in fast, and my nostrils re in an effort to take as much air into my lungs as possible.

    *Come on, darling, push," Ava urges me while wiping the sweat from my forehead. "Gabriel doesn''t matter here."

    "Hey, that''s mean Ava," Gabriel grumbles, ring at Ava. She res right back as if telling him to shut the fuck up and go with the flow.

    I squeeze their hands as yet another contraction hits, and I push.

    I kept pushing, but nothing seemed to be happening. Why the hell was it taking so long? The only progress we made was that they could see the head, but that wasn''t enough for me.

    "I need this baby out of me, now!" I shout.

    My energy was waning, and I was on the verge of tears.

    *I''ll just check to make sure everything is okay," Gabriel tells me before kissing my sweaty head.

    "I don''t think that''s a good idea, Gabe," Ava warns him.

    He just flips her. "You''re not the boss of me. I''ll do whatever the fuck I want."

    He let''s go of my hand and leaves my side. He goes to the foot of the bed, where my doctor and nurses are.

    His eyes widening is the only sign we get before Gabriel''s six feet two form copse to the ground.

    "I warned him," Ava chuckles by my side. "He didn''t listen."

    I honestly don''t know why I find it funny. Maybe it''s the way his eyes rolled to the back of his head before he fainted. It was allical, if you ask me. This is something to remember.

    "Do you have your phone?" I breathe through the pain and ask Ava, to which she nods. "Take a photo of him. I''ll use it as ckmailter on."

    Sheughs and winks at me. "I like the way you think."

    Luckily, Gabriel regains consciousness just as our baby slips out of my body. Just like Ava and Rowan, we decided to know the gender at birth.

    "Congrattions, you have a healthy baby boy," Macy announces, smiling at both me and Gabriel, who, it seems, is trying to get his bearing.

    "Congrattions, Mama," Ava kisses my cheek. "I''ll go let the others know. I''m sure Lilly is dying to know whether she''s having a baby sister or brother."

    I nod tiredly. She leaves the room, and I sink against the pillow.

    "You did it, Darling." Gabriel kisses my lips before handing me our bundle of joy. "What are we going to name him?"

    "Is it okay if we name him Andrew Liam?"

    He smiles, knowing the significance of those names. "Andrew Liam Woods... It''s perfect, just like our boy."

    Andrew opens his eyes, and they are the exact shade as those of his father and sister. I couldn''t have been happier. Shit happened, but it brought me to this moment, to where I was always meant to be.

 Chapter 0533

    ?

    Three yearster.

    Emma.

    *Seriously, Emma, when are you going to start dating?" Ava asks, sitting down next to me.

    I look out at the backyard, and I can''t help the smile that forms on my lips. Today is Travis and Letty''s son''s birthday. James, named after our dad, is turning one today.

    Letty and Travis got married about two years ago. Travis proposed immediately. I woke up after that ident that almost robbed me of my life. You might be wondering what happened to the driver. Well, he is currently serving a five-year sentence for reckless driving. I do hope he learned his lesson.

    Back to Travis and Letty. I guess seeing me in the hospital made him realize just how short life is. He proposed, and Letty said yes. They got married in a beautiful spring wedding.

    As a result of being friends with Ava, I was brought into the fold. Connie and Reaper got married in a small intimate wedding with close friends and family. They weed their daughter, Haven, four monthster. Connie is now currently pregnant with their second child. Another girl.

    Harper and Gabriel are expecting too. This will be their third child. Harper told us that Gabriel was against the idea of having another baby after the pain he witnessed Harp going through, even though at first he was at the forefront of them having a whole basketball team of kids. They argued and fought about it, but eventually Harper won. She couldn''t have been happier.

    Now, Ava and Rowan. They are still growing strong. They have three children so far, but something tells me that it won''t stay that way for long. You know about Noah and Iris, but I bet you didn''t know that three years ago they weed another baby girl. They named her Emery.

    *Emma...

    "I''m not in a hurry, Ava. I don''t really care about dating right now."

    To be honest, I am content with my life and what I have. If lovees along, then well and good. If it doesn''t, then that''s okay too. Not everyone gets a happy ending, and I am okay with that.

    *You used to use your injury as an excuse; you are no longer in a wheelchair."

    You heard that right. Despite what the doctors said, I was able to recover. I still haveplications here and there, but otherwise I am great. I no longer need a wheelchair and can walk perfectly fine. The only thing that has taken time to get ustomed to is not wearing heels. I tried once, and the pain that followed was excruciating. But ts aren''t that bad, so I guess it''s my new norm.

    "Will you leave me alone if I tell you there is this cutewyer that just joined the firm?" I ask, raising my brows at her.

    She squeals, attracting the attention of the others.

    "Will you stop screaming like a damn banshee?"

    "What? This is exciting news."

    "Is everything okay, mom?" I had not noticed Gunner approaching. He had his three-month-old brother in his arms. He''s been calling me mom since I woke up in the hospital, but I still can''t get enough of hearing him call me that. Bending, I kiss his and Chase''s cheeks before taking Chase from his arms and cuddling him to my chest.

    "Yes, everything is okay, my love. Your aunt is just being overly dramatic as usual." I tell him while making faces at Chase. He gives me a toothless smile, which fills my heart with pure joy.

    Gunner has a brother; it''s confusing, right? Given that I''m here talking to Ava about dating. Well, Chase isn''t my son. He is Calvin and Kinley''s little boy. They got marriedst year. Sweet little Chase here is a honeymoon baby.

    Calvin and I have gotten closer since the ident. Just like Gunner, he forgave me and we were able to build a beautiful friendship.

    Kinley is honestly a wonderful woman. She fits in with all of us. She''s kind and sweet and, most importantly, makes Calvin happy and treats Gunner like her own son.

    "No, I am not," Ava defends herself. "I just wanted your mom to tell me more about the cutewyer at her firm."

    "That''s where I draw the line. I''m out of here," he says, looking a bit disgusted. "Are you okay with him or should take him back?"

    "I''m okay... go and join your friends."

    He nods his head before running towards Noah and the rest. Calvin was kind enough to revise the custody agreement. Now we have joint custody over Gunner. He spends weekdays with Calvin and weekends with me.

    "Now, back to the cute guy," Ava says, pulling my focus back to her.

    "Seriously, you never give up, do you?"

    "Nope. Not until you tell me everything."

    Sighing, I coo at Chase, smiling as he gives me his sweet littleugh.

    "There really isn''t much to report. He just joined the firm."

    "The fact that you called him cute means you''ve noticed him. Does he seem interested?"

    "I guess so. He asked me out yesterday," I answer, not really paying attention to her. My main focus is on Chase. "And you said yes, right?" Can you believe she had her fingers crossed while she''s asking me this? It''s as if her whole existence is dependent on my answer.

    "No"

    "What?"

    "I told him I would think about it," I tell her.

    "What the fuck, Emma? You can''t tell him that." Ava grumbles. I give her a quick nce only to find her staring at me like I''ve grown a second head.

    "Yes, I can, and I did... Look, like I said, I''m not in a hurry. If he''s the one, then things will fall into ce without really forcing issues. So far, I like him and I think that''s enough for now," I tell her, and for a moment we just stare at each other.

    Finally, after a couple of minutes, she sighs and breaks eye contact. "Fine"

    "Nowe, let''s join the party. I don''t want to miss seeing James shove his hand inside his cake."

    I begin walking towards the rest, and she soon follows, stepping by my side.

    Things didn''t work out the way I wanted them to, but I''vee to realize that that''s life for you. It throws you into a different path. A better one if you are willing to embrace it. I am happy and that''s what matters right now.

 Chapter 0534

    ?Chapter 0534

    So we havee to the end of Ex-Husban Regret and the side stories. I just want to thank you for all your love and support for this book. This is the longest book I''ve written and by far my most sessful one. It wouldn''t have been this sessful if it wasn''t for your support. So than you. Thank you so much. Thank you for being on this journey from start to finish. It means the world that you have stuck with me.

    Now, I wanted to announce that Noah''s story is up next. It''s called [The Billionaire''s Fight For Redemption] I''m still working on the t, but it will be avable around mid-October, so be on the lookout for it. We will have a side story about Gunner and probably another one about Lilly.

    Here is a sneak peek of The Billionaire''s Fight for Redemption. This is just a rough draft.

    Sierra.

    I walk down the aisle. My heart is racing and my steps are slow. Pink and white roses are clutched in my hands as my dress swishes behind me. Everything is so beautiful and perfect, just like we had nned.

    My gaze faces forward. My eyes focused on his smiling face. He is so handsome, and his smile is so beautiful that for a moment I forget to walk and miss a step. The happiness on his face and the joy radiating from him almost bring me to tears.

    I continue my walk, each step bringing me closer and closer to him. He looks different from what I am used to. This is the first time Noah Woods isn''t looking at me with hate and disgust. I should be happy. I should be ecstatic that I am walking toward the man I love, but I am not.

    My heart is breaking, and I can hear the sound of those shattered pieces as my heart disintegrates into small bits. I feel suffocated, yet I have to smile. I have to pretend that this isn''t killing me. I have to pretend that I am fine when I''m slowly dying on the inside because the man I love is marrying someone else.

    My once bright world is filled with nothing but darkness. All the hopes and dreams I hade crashing down around me, their sharp shards piercing my already wounded soul.

    I smile even though all I want is to cry and mourn. Mourn because I know his radiant smile isn''t aimed at me. It''s aimed at the woman he loves. The woman walking behind me in a beautiful wedding dress. The woman who happens to be one of my best friends.

    Once again, thank you so much for your support. I''m excited about Noah''s book. It will have a bit of the same DNA as Ex-husband''s regret, but it will bepletely different at the same time. Let me know what you think of the sneak peek.

    Looking forward to having you join the next generation. Take care, my loves and stay safe. See you in Noah''s book. Bye??

 Chapter 0535

    ?Chapter 0535

    Emma.

    I dance with Molly, allowing the music to wash over me. I have a bit of pain in my back, but it doesn''t really matter when I am so freaking happy.

    My dress swooshes around me as we scream the lyrics to Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift at the top of our lungs. Ava, who is heavily pregnant, joins us. Iugh because she thinks she''s dancing, but she''s not. I don''t even know what to call what she''s doing.

    I can count the few times when I have been my happiest. One is when I passed my bar exam; the second is when Gunner called me mom for the first time in a long time; and the third is today. On my wedding day.

    You heard that right. I''ve just gotten married, and I couldn''t have been happier.

    Remember the cutewyer I told Ava about on Jame''s birthday? Well, he never gave up, no matter how many times I turned him down. He constantly asked, and by that, I mean he asked almost every day. I got tired of the same question over and over again, so one day I said yes. It turned out to be the best decision of my life.

    I slow down in my pace, my eyes searching for my husband. There he is. Killian Lennox. He jokes about how his name is a mouthful, but I don''t mind. I think Emma Lennox has a nice ring to it, don''t you?

    As if feeling my gaze on him, he turns around, his soft obsidian eyes shing with mine. He is with Rowan, Reaper, Gabriel and Calvin. His lips pull up in a smile before he winks at me. A wink that promises a wild wedding night.

    Where do I even begin? I underrated him when I said that he was cute. I just didn''t want Ava to continue hounding me about him. Killian is hot and boy does he know it. He is egoistic, bossy and domineering, but he is also really sweet and kind. He kind of reminds me of a big teddy bear. He is all soft and mushy on the inside.

    He proposed four months into dating. I thought that we were moving too fast, but he asked what the use of waiting was when he already knew that I was the one for him. I swear I melted right there and then. I''d already fallen for him, but I was scared. Scared of making a mistake. I was afraid that I wasn''t enough. That I wasn''t built for love.

    "Can you stop eye-fucking your husband and just dance with us?" Molly sniggers, wiggling her eyebrows.

    "That''s hard given it''s all I can think about... Have you seen Killian shirtless? That is the kind of chest you spread whipped cream on and lick it off with nothing but your tongue," I tell them, unable to pull my eyes from my sexy-as sin husband.

    "At least one of us will be getting some good vitamin dick tonight," Molly grumbles, her hand smoothing down her windblown hair. "For the rest of us, it''ll just be us and a soft mattress."

    Ava giggles next to us. "Speak for yourself, Molly... in fact, I''m tempted to pull Rowan away for a quickie. These hormones are riding me hard."

    "Then do it," I murmur, bringing my focus back to her. "I doubt anyone will notice you''re both missing for a few minutes."

    "Are you seriously telling me to go have a quickie during your wedding reception?"

    "Yes. Is there a problem with that? You did it during your wedding, and you weren''t secretive about it either." I smirk at her. I bet everybody knew what they had been doing when Ava came back with ruffled hair. Well, maybe not everyone. The kids, for one didn''t think anything about it.

    "That was my wedding,"es her reply.

    "And this is mine. What''s your point?"

    Molly snorts, breaking us from our staring contest. "I can''t believe that you are arguing about whether Ava should have sex at your reception." She then turns to Ava. "If you want to do it, then do it. She''s blessed your quickie

    session, so go and enjoy yourself."

 Chapter 0536

    ?Chapter 0536

    Molly is one of my bridesmaids, and so are Ava, Connie, Letty, Harper and Kinley. They have been my girls for the past four years since my ident. Of course, I could never rece Molly, she''s my best friend, but I am grateful that I have them.

    Plus, yesterday Molly told me that she''s thinking of moving here. I was so excited. I love her, but we admitted that it was difficult doing the whole long-distance friendship. I am honestly over the moon that she''ll be around.

    The music slows down, and Gunner approaches, breaking all other conversation.

    "Can I have this dance, Mom?"

    There''s a series of aaws, and I swear my heart melts right on the spot.

    "Of course, my handsome boy," I answer before taking his hand.

    Gunner is fourteen, now a teenager. Can you believe that? He''s as tall as I am, and I''m sure in a few years he''ll be taller than I am. I don''t mind though. He''ll always be my baby boy.

    Calvin and I put him in therapy the moment I got discharged. We did a joint session in some and talked about our rtionship and about the day of the ident. I believe being able toy it all out during those sessions brought us closer.

    "I love seeing you this happy," Gunner murmurs, his eyes searing my soul in ways I can''t even understand.

    "I was happy, sweet boy."

    *True, but not this happy. This kind of happiness suits you. It''s radiating off of you in waves. I''m happy that you found someone. I was worried about you."

    Tears begin filling my eyes. His words spread warmth throughout my entire body.

    "Oh no, you don''t. Please don''t cry... Aunt Ava will seriously kill me if I ruin your makeup."

    Ava is the one that helped me get ready.

    Augh escapes my lips before I can even stop it. The panic in his eyes is real. We know Ava. Due to her pregnancy hormones, she can sometimes turn into a raging dragon that breathes fire.

    "I love you, sweet boy; you know that, don''t you?" I ask, blinking back my tears.

    "I know Mom and I love you too," he pecks my cheek, and we continue dancing in silence until the song ends.

    Next, I danced with my mom and then Travis, then Rowan, and Gabriel.

    "You are happy, right?" Calvin asks as we move to the slow beat of the music.

    We did have a talk after my ident. It was painful and soul-wrenching, but it was needed. We both needed closure. We both needed to forgive. We both needed to let go of the past before we could move forward. We epted that we made mistakes. Mistakes that cost us, but in the end, we realized that it was part of life.

    As much as we are parents to an amazing teenage son, we are also friends and I think that''s more important. "Yes, I am happy... Truly happy"

    My eyes move past his shoulder to Killian. I never hid anything from him. He knows every single dirty thing about my past. I told him when I realized that things were starting to get serious between us.

    I was afraid that he''d call it quits the moment he realized what a terrible person I had been. Instead, he grabbed my hand, kissed my palms and told me that everyone makes mistakes. You are only a terrible person if you don''t learn from them. I''m sure that was the day I started falling in love with him.

    "I''m d," he whispers. "I didn''t see it then, but I see it now. Our paths were always meant to cross to bring

    Gunner into this world, but they were never meant to join and go in the same direction." I tum to him, to find his eyes staring behind me. I don''t have to look to know he is staring at Kinley.

    I smile, peace washing over me. "We are where we were meant to be, with people we were meant to be with."

 Chapter 0537

    ?

    "Definitely," he returns my smile just as Killian walks towards us.

    "I''m here to steal my beautiful wife." His voice is raspy, and I can''t help but melt at the timbre. It''s just so darn

    sexy.

    "She''s all yours." Calvin let''s go of me and steps aside before walking away.

    Killian pulls me into his arms, making sure that there is no space between us. "Are you okay? Is your back aching? Your legs?"

    See what I told you? He''s a shark as awyer but caring and loving as a spouse. I didn''t even know I had a type until I met him.

    "I''m okay, my love, quite worrying," I chuckle, pushing myself closer to him.

    "Have I told you that I love you?" he asks.

    I can''t help but smile as I push myself on my tiptoes and whisper against his lips. "About a thousand times today, not that I amining."

    "You are the best thing to ever happen to me, Emma. I can''t imagine how my life would have been without you in it. I know we already said our vows, but I promise to always love and cherish you because you are my gift from above. I promise to be your sanctuary during a storm, to be your haven of peace and your source of unwavering support. I vow to love you unconditionally, to choose you every day from today till I take myst breath."

    This time I can''t help it nor can I stop it. My tears fall down my cheeks like twin rivers as his love fills and surrounds me.

    "You are the love of my life, Killian, my sun, my moon, and all my stars. You are my favorite what-if turned reality. I promise to be your steady rhythm when life''s song gets chaotic. I vow to be your soft ce tond and your springboard to fly. I vow to love you with every beating of my heart and I vow to treasure every hour, every minute and every second with you till I take myst breath."

    He leans down and captures my lips in a kiss that leaves me breathless even as happy shouts ring all around us. This is happiness, being in the arms of the man I love. The man who slowly seeped inside me and made his way to capture my heart. I never saw himing, but I am happy nheless that he came.

    "Would it be rude if we just left?" He whispers against my lips, his breathing in fast as we both try to catch our breaths.

    "Who cares?" I ask as he pulls me once again so that we are kissing.

    I can''t get enough of him. I can''t get enough of his kisses.

    We break apart and he grabs my hand. "Let''s go."

    I guess he hase to a decision. I smile as he pulls me away from the stage, his face a mask of determination as we head for the exit.

    Almost everyone has a smirk on their lips, but who cares if they know why we are leaving early? I don''t. In fact, we should have done this hours ago.

    I look at my husband as I follow behind, joy and happiness mixing inside me in a bubble that threatens to burst.

    I thank God every day that our paths crossed and joined to be one because Killian is everything I dreamed of and everything I never even knew I needed.

    I love him with everything I am, and I am grateful that everything that I went through led me here. It led me to him.

 Chapter 0538

    ?Chapter 0538

    Harper.

    I am floating on a fluffy white cloud of sleep. I feel warm, I feel at peace, and I feel loved.

    Slowly, I begin toe awake. Gabriel is behind me, his arms around me in cuddle. He does this every time we sleep. Hold me tightly in his arms as if he is afraid that I''ll disappear if he doesn''t.

    I wiggle a bit trying to get out of his arms. Instead of letting me go, he tightens his hands, which pushes me closer to his body.

    I stop when I feel him. When I feel his unmistakable morning wood. My hormones surge, and I immediately want him. I want to feel him buried deep inside me.

    We have a healthy sexual life, but there are those times where you just want more. With three kids, sometimes it''s hard to get uninterrupted alone time.

    "Hmm," Gabriel groans when I rub my ass against his groin.

    The sound travels all the way down to my clit. I do it again, eliciting yet another sexy moan from him.

    Gabriel starts peppering kisses along my back, shoulders, and neck. It''s been a couple of days, and I am craving him, craving his touch.

    "You awake?" he asks, his voice still thick with sleep.

    "Yes."

    "Good."

    The hand around my waist dips into my panties as he continues peppering me with small, sweet kisses. I''m already wet.

    "Gabriel," I moan when he uses my wetness to rub circles around my clit. As much as I love this, I need something more. "Please"

    He doesn''t listen and continues his torturous administrations until I feel like I''ll go crazy with want. Just when I thought I couldn''t take it anymore, he slips past my clit, and sinks a finger inside me.

    He slowly pumps in and out as I clutch his other hand, using it as an anchor.

    "More, I need more." I struggle to get my brain working.

    He adds another finger, making me moan his name.

    "That''s it," he whispers against my ear, before gently biting it. "Ride my hand, Harp."

    "I wish it was your cock, though," I mumble as I feel the familiar tingle along my spine.

    *Fuck, Harper," he groans, rubbing his hardened cock against my ass.

    Without thinking, I reach behind me, dip my hand inside his boxes and grab his cock. I start pumping my hand along his length, making him release a long and deep groan that travels all the way down to my clit.

    I can feel the familiar build up as Gabriel fucks me with his fingers. I''m desperate for it. I''m desperate to ride it. He increases his speed and I increase mine, eager for us to find our relief.

    It hits me and I crash with it as it washes over me, jolting my body over and over again until it finally dies down. I sink against Gabriel as I try to catch my breath. It''s only then that I realize that Gabriel is also breathing hard and my hand is wet.

    I pull it from his boxers before facing him. He watches as I lick his cum off my fingers. His eyes darken, and that''s the only warning I get.

    He smashes his lips against mine, robbing me of the ability to think and breathe. He pulls away, his eyes till staring into mine.

    There is a pause before a flurry of movements under the sheets.

    "Gabriel?" I stare at him in confusion, not taking my eyes off him.

    He doesn''t say a word, as he brings me close, so that there is barely any space left between us. He kisses me, his lips travelling from my mouth to my neck to my breast.

    I can''t stop the loud moan when hetches onto a nipple and sucks it into his mouth.

    His hand travels down my waist, to my hips, then to my thighs, before he hoists my leg up, putting it on top of his hip bone. I then feel his hand at the juncture of my legs before he slowly pushes my panties to the side.

    "Gabriel," I moan when I feel his naked, hard and throbbing hot cock against my opening.

    He rubs himself against me, coating his dick with my juices. Fuck, he feels so good.

    I feel the tip and anticipate his pration. He had the tip in and was slowly pushing inside me when the door bangs open.

    I gasp in shock and pull away from him just as a small body jumps on us.

    "Merry Christmas!" he shouts happily in a sing song voice.

    "Fuck." Both Gabriel and I groan in irritation.

    Couldn''t he have been an hourte or something. If there''s someone in this family that likes cock blocking us, it''s our second born, Andrew. But we call him Drew.

    He may not know how much of a cock blocker he is, but it doesn''t matter. He does it.

    "WAKE UP! WAKE UP!" he screams, it''s so loud that for a moment I hear nothing but the ringing of his voice. "You don''t have to shout, Drew," Gabriel grumbles. "We can clearly hear you without you bursting our eardrums." Drew doesn''t seem to listen. Instead, he''s bouncing up and down on the bed, happiness radiating off of him.

    Gabriel moves under the sheets, probably trying to adjust himself. I sit up and lean against the headboard before grabbing my overactive and hyper child. Thest thing we need is him identally hurting his dad by stepping on his dick or something.

    "I tried stopping Liam, but you know how he gets when he''s excited," Lilly walks in with our two-year-old. She''s the only one who calls him Liam. Maybe because of the man who raised her for the first few years of her life before he was tragically taken from us.

    Lilly just turned thirteen a few weeks ago. Andrew is five, and our youngest, another boy, Theo, is two years old. "Mama" Theo screams when he seems, pushing his arms towards me so that I can take him.

    Lilly walks towards us, takes Theo off her hips, and ces him in my arms. The moment he is with me, he melts into my arms, cing his head against my chest.

    Lilly hasn''t changed much, except for maybe getting more mature. She''s always serious, especially around her siblings. The only one who can get her to loosen up a bit is Sierra.

    Andrew is hyper. I don''t even know where he got his personality from, given that the men he was named after weren''t like that. He''s always getting into trouble, and most of the time it seems as if he''s pumped full of energy drinks. He''s always on the go, never calm or in one ce. Let''s just say he''s a handful.

    Theo is a mix of his siblings. He has his moments, and his temperament is mainly dependent on his mood.

    Maybe it''s because he''s a baby, either way, I can''t wait to see his personality develop.

    "Come on up, Lilly-Bear," Gabriel motions for our only daughter, and she doesn''t waste time. She scrambles up, heading straight for her father.

    You guessed it; she is still very much a daddy''s girl, and I don''t see that ever changing.

    *Merry Christmas, My Loves," I tell them.

    "Merry Christmas," the chorus.

    Gabriel pulls me towards me and gives me a kiss. "Raincheck?"

    "Definitely"

    I smile at him. I am happy, and my heart is full. That''s all I ever wanted.

 Chapter 0539

    ?

    Hey Loves, so I''m just from reading youments and you''ve really told me how you feel.

    Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I respect that. I can''t do anything to change them and that''s ispletely okay.

    I''ve gotten some really good criticism and I want to thank those who have pointed me towards my mistakes. I always struggle with writing an ending and that''s why it can sometimese off as rushed. Don''t worry I''ll be working on that in my next book.

    As for Emma and Calvin, I want you all to understand that this was always the way it was supposed to end, at least in this book.

    Emma didn''t love Calvin, she was sorry for what she did but she never loved him with same depth he loved her. In other words, she loved him but she wasn''t in love with him. Calvin deserved to feel that love with someone else given that Emma couldn''t reciprocate. Go back to some of her therapy sessions and you''ll realize that yes she was remorseful but not because along the way she fell in love with Calvin. She was remorseful because she knew what she put Calvin through wasn''t right.

    I didn''t want to give any spoilers, but my n was always for them to end up together but not in this book. I envisioned them ending up together after they have both loved other people and have lost. Their friendship during each other''s time of need blossoms into something more. Something different, but strong. This was to be witnessed in glimpses through Gunner, in his book.

    I know most weren''t happy with how things concluded but I hope that this will shed some light on where my mind was when I was writing the ending.

    Once again, let me thank all of you for your support and to those who are willing to walk with me through Noah''s journey wee ...See you on soon, bye and take care.?

 Figured 540

    Hi Lovies, I know it¡¯s been a minute and I¡¯m so sorry for the long wait. I had health issues and had to

    get surgery. It¡¯s been a long road to recovery and writing had to take a back seat as I focused on my

    health.

    Many of you have been asking about Noah¡¯s book [The billionaire¡¯s fight for redemption]. I just wanted to

    let you know that it¡¯s already out. Please do me a favor and check it out.

    Just like I¡¯dmunicated, some of the unanswered questions will be answered in the sequel. You¡¯ll also still get to see glimpses of the characters from this book.

    Once I¡¯m done with Noah¡¯s book, we¡¯ll dive into Lilly¡¯s book and the Gunner¡¯s, which willplete the

    series, unless I think otherwise.

    I want to thank you for your patience with me. I know it¡¯s been long. Actually it¡¯s been close to a year since I finished Ex¨CHusband¡¯s Regret, but I¡¯m back and Noah¡¯s book is live. That¡¯s all that matters for now.

    Thank you once again, and I¡¯m hoping to see you in Noah¡¯s book.

    Lots of Love, Evelyn.

    HM Evelyn <i>M.M </i>

 Figured 541

    Chapter <b>541 </b>

    Hi Loves,

    Just a quick update! I had a talk with my editor and we decided on some changes.

    Noah¡¯s story will continue here in Ex¨CHusband¡¯s Regret as a side story, but it¡¯s also been released as its

    own separate book, that is, The Billionaire¡¯s Fight for Redemption.

    You can choose how you want to read it:

    If you prefer to keep reading it within Ex¨CHusband¡¯s Regret, you don¡¯t need to do anything¨Cjust

    continue as you are.

    If you¡¯d rather follow it as an independent book, you can add it to your library and read The Billionaire¡¯s Fight for Redemption on its own without continuing Ex¨CHusband¡¯s Regret.

    Both versions will have the same content, so there¡¯s no need to worry about missing anything or paying

    twice. This setup is simply for flexibility. We just thought this would really be good, especially for those who want it in a differentnguage, given Ex¨CHusband¡¯s Regret has already been tranted, so they

    won¡¯t miss out or have to wait for The Billionaire¡¯s Fight for Redemption to be tranted (which I¡¯m not

    sure how long that may take)

    I hope I¡¯ve made everything clear and haven¡¯t confused you¡­ but if there are any questions or you need

    more rification, let me know.

    Thank you for understanding and take care. Bye

    49

    Chap

 Figured 542

    ter <b>542 </b>

    Part 1, Sierra.

    Sierra.

    I walk down the aisle. My heart is racing. My steps slow and heavy. A bouquet of tightly clutched pink

    and white roses trembles in my hands as my dress swishes behind me. Everything is so beautiful and perfect, just like we had nned.

    My eyes are locked ahead. My gaze fixed on his smiling face. He is <i>so </i>handsome, so breathtaking. His

    smile is so dazzling that for a moment everything fades; I forget to walk and miss a step.

    The happiness on his face and the joy radiating from him almost bring me to tears. I continue my walk,

    each step bringing me closer and closer to him. He looks different from what I am used <i>to</i>. This is the first

    time Noah Woods isn¡¯t looking at me with hate and disgust.

    I should be happy. I should be ecstatic that I am walking toward the man I love, but I am not. My heart is

    breaking, and I can hear the sound of those shattered pieces as my heart disintegrates into small bits.

    I feel suffocated, yet I have to smile. I have to pretend that this isn¡¯t tearing me apart inside. I have to

    pretend that this isn¡¯t killing me. I have to pretend that I am fine when I¡¯m slowly dying on the inside

    because the man I love is marrying someone else.

    My once bright world is filled with nothing but darkness. The world I once dreamed of is crumbling

    around me. All my hopes, every carefully guarded wish, now lie in shards at my feet¨Csharp, piercing my already wounded soul. A painful reminder of everything I¡¯ll never have

    I smile even though all I want is <i>to </i>cry and mourn. Mourn because I know his radiant smile isn¡¯t aimed at <ol><li>me. It¡¯s aimed at the woman he loves. She walks behind me now, glowing in whitece. Chloe. One of my </li></ol>

    best friends. And the bride.

    When I reach the altar, I move to the right, just as we rehearsed a hundred times before. Lilly¨CNoah¡¯s

    cousin and my best friend¨Cstands beside me, along with Brooks, Chloe¡¯s younger sister. I grip my

    bouquet tighter as my heart thunders in my chest.

    I¡¯ve dreaded this day since the moment Noah dropped to one knee at our high school graduation and proposed to Chloe in front of the entire school. I wanted to scream then, just like I want to scream and shout now. <i>I </i>want to curse the heavens. I want the floor to open up and swallow me whole. Anything that can alleviate the pain I feel right now would be wee.

    A gentle pat on my arm pulls me from my spiral I turn slightly to find Lilly offering me a small, encouraging smile. It conveys everything¨Clove, sympathy, and understanding. Our eyes meet for just a second before we both look ahead to the stunning, blushing bride before us.

    There is no denying that Chloe is beautiful. That¡¯s not the only thing that makes her radiant, though.

    She¡¯s the entire package. Beautiful, intelligent and kind. She¡¯s warm, caring and loving. I sometimes want to hate her, but I can¡¯t. She¡¯s perfect. It¡¯s no wonder Noah fell for her so easily.

    I¡¯ve witnessed their love for each other grow. I¡¯ve been there to see it blossom. I was there from the beginning. I saw every stolen nce and every moment of tenderness. And while their love flowered and flourished into something beautiful, my heart withered on the onught of unrequited love¡­ And today, it feels like it has finally stopped beating

    ¡°Noah,¡± Uncle Rowan¡¯s deep yet firm voice pulls me from the fog that threatened <i>to </i>swallow me.

    Chloe and Brook¡¯s mom died when we were fourteen and their dad left them when Chloe was four; that¡¯s why Uncle Rowan was giving her away instead of her parents.

    Uncle Rowan kisses Chloe¡¯s cheek before cing her hand in Noah¡¯s. Noah helps her up the steps, guiding her gently to stand beside him.

    The way he stares at her kills me. The love shining through his eyes for her undoes me.

    I¡¯ve loved Noah for as long as I can remember. I believed that if I held on long enough, loved him hard enough, he¡¯d see me. That he¡¯d one day realize that I am the one for him. That he¡¯d choose me. That he¡¯d eventually fall in love with me. But I was so very painfully wrong and today is the proof of just how wrong

    I was.

    Can he see the heartbreak in my eyes? Can he tell that my heart is bleeding? Who am I kidding? He

    probably doesn¡¯t care. To him, I¡¯ve always been the annoying girl who chased and clung to him since I was eight. And now, as he stands beside his bride, I¡¯m nothing. I could drop and die and he wouldn¡¯t blink.

    I stand there, my soul in ruins, as he begins his vows. Lilly told me he wrote them himself. They¡¯re

    beautiful. Heartfelt. I just wish they were meant for me and not someone else.

    ¡®Stop being selfish,¡® that annoying voice in my head snaps. ¡®Just ept that he doesn¡¯t love you and he

    never will.¡¯

    I want to block out the words, but I know they are true. I¡¯ve lost and if I am being honest, I lost way before

    I was even in the running. I don¡¯t think I was ever in the running to begin with.

    ¡°Do you, Chloe Thompson, take Noah Woods to be yourwfully wedded husband,¡± the priest says, ¡°to love and to cherish, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, forsaking all others, till death do you part?¡±

    ¡°I do,¡± Chloe says, her voice soft and sure. She slides the ring onto his finger.

    The priest turns to Noah. ¡°And do you, Noah Woods, take Chloe Thompson to be yourwfully wedded

    wife¡­¡±

    As the words echo, my heart squeezes painfully.

    ¡°I do,¡± Noah replies, steady and certain, cing the ring on her hand.

    I fight for my next breath. Fight to keep myself upright and not to crumble. I fight back the heart- wrenching sob that threatens to escape my throat. I will my tears not to fall. Willing myself to hold on

    and stay indifferent. Not to break in front of him and everyone else.

    ¡°With the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.¡±

    A small sob escapes my lips, but the deafening noise of music and shouts drowns it.

    Noah leans his tall frame towards his new bride. His eyes collide with mine for a second. He then pulls his gaze from mine. It softens as he stares at Chloe right before he crashes his lips on hers.

    I saw it in his eyes. It was fleeting but so raw. His hate and disgust for me were clear, and with that and the joyous shouts ringing around us, thest remaining piece of my heart breaks and falls off.

 Figured 543

    Chapter <b>543 </b>

    Sierra.

    The ringing of my phone interrupts my sleep. I groan and try to ignore it, burrowing deeper into the warmth of my nkets. I am tired and thest thing I want is someone calling me at odd hours, interrupting my precious sleep.

    Whoever it is, they can wait.

    The ringing stops and I sigh in relief. I bring my cat closer and curl tighter around her, pressing my face

    into her soft fur. I was just about to fall back to sleep when the damn ringing started again.

    I grope blindly for it on the nightstand, knocking over a water bottle in the process. I should¡¯ve switched the damn thing off like I usually do.

    I¡¯m a biologist, so you can imagine the crazy hours I put into research. When I do get time <i>to </i>rest, I¡¯ve learned to guard it like it¡¯s gold.

    Eyes still shut and assuming it¡¯s a colleague, I swipe to answer and grumble into the phone, ¡°This better

    be important.¡±

    ¡°Si? Are you awake?¡± her sweet familiar voice breaks through the haze.

    My body goes rigid. That voice¡­ I know it like a luby. The fogginess immediately clears and I snap

    awake.

    ¡°Hi, Aunt Ava,¡± I reply sheepishly, sitting up in my bed, guilt warming my cheek for being rude to her.

    My cat, ckie, meows,municating her annoyance at the disturbance. To calm her down, I pull her onto myp and pet her back, watching as she curls up and goes back to sleep.

    ¡°Did I wake you?¡± she asks, her toneced with genuine concern

    I¡¯ve known this woman since I was eight. She¡¯s like my second mom. I love her so much, I would do

    anything for her, including telling a little white lie.

    ¡°No, you didn¡¯t.¡± I lie, clearing my throat to sound more alert than I feel.

    ¡°You do realize I can tell when you are lying, right, Si?¡± she asks with a chuckle.

    My heart warms at her nickname for me. She says it with so much love and affection. I¡¯ve never

    understood why she would treat me like her own daughter when her son hated me so much.

    I close my eyes for a brief second, smiling into the empty 100m.

    ¡°Sorry,¡± I murmur sheepishly.

    There are only a handful of people who truly know me¨Cmy mom, my grandma, Aunt Ava, Aunt Harper, and Lilly, my best friend.

    ¡°It¡¯ste at night. I know I woke you up.¡± Aunt Ava says, but there is something off in her voice. She¡¯s

    nervous and It¡¯s so strange because nervousness isn¡¯t an emotion I would associate with her.

    Aunt Ava is strength personified. She is a powerhouse. Alwaysposed. Always assured. Never

    nervous.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay. Don¡¯t worry about it,¡± I assure her before continuing, ¡°Is everything alright?¡±

    There is a beat of silence. I can feel her nervousness through the phone and that makes my heart thump

    a little faster.

    I give her time even though I am starting to get anxious. I wait for her to collect her thoughts and let me

    know why she called. I know her well enough to trust that if she called me thiste, it¡¯s not something

    trivial.

    ¡°Aunt Ava?¡±

    Now I know that something is seriously wrong if she¡¯s yet to tell me why she called.

    My mind jumps to different scenarios. It couldn¡¯t be that someone is hurt, right? If that was the case, then Lilly would have been the first to inform me. Maybe it¡¯s Lilly? But then if it were her, Aunt Harper would

    have informed me instead of Aunt Ava.

    ¡°You are killing me with the suspense, Aunt Ava,¡± I chuckle nervously as my heart begins pound in my

    chest and Panic sets in.

    I am an overthinker, so this suspense is wreaking havoc inside me. I literally feel like my heart and lungs

    are being squeezed right now.

    She exhales slowly, like she¡¯s trying to steady herself.

    ¡°I need a huge favor,¡± she finally says, the words hesitant. ¡°And I just¡­ don¡¯t know whether I should be

    asking you<i>.</i><i>¡± </i>

    My stomach knots.

    ¡°Come on, Aunt Ava, you know I¡¯d do anything for you,¡± I reply without hesitation. And I mean it.

    Another shaky breath, as if she¡¯s preparing herself for a battle.

    ¡°IneedyoutofindNoahforme¡± she says it all in one breath, her voice conveying uncertainty.

    ¡°Slow down,¡± I plead, ¡°I barely understood a thing you <b>said</b>.¡±

    She takes another deep breath before repeating the words that freeze me to my core. ¡°I need you to find

    Noah for me.¡±

    My world stills and my mind goes nk.

 Figured 544

    Chapter <b>544 </b>

    ¡°I think I heard you wrong,¡± I mumbled, unintelligently.

    My voicees out faint and brittle, like my voice has forgotten how to form words. There must be some mistake¨CI must have misheard.

    She sighs tiredly. ¡°You didn¡¯t.¡±

    The silence that stretches between us is deafening. My heart is racing, my hands trembling. All the

    warmth that surrounded me moments ago has vanished, reced by a cold that creeps into my bones.

    ¡°Noah?¡± I repeat numbly. ¡°You want me to find Noah?¡±

    She sighs, exhausted. ¡°Yes.¡±

    I swallow the lump forming in my throat.

    ¡°Aunt Ava, I¡¯m thest person on this you should be asking,¡± I murmur, still confused about why

    she would be asking me to look for Noah.

    I take a deep breath to try and calm myself down. What she just asked me is beyond what I can do. I know

    I said I would do anything for her, except this. Noah is one person I didn¡¯t want to get involved with.

    ¡°Please, Sierra. You uncle and I can¡¯t find him<i>,</i><i>¡± </i>she pleads, her voice on the verge of breaking down. It¡¯s

    been years, but to her, Noah is still her little boy. The boy that went toe¨Cto¨Ctoe with her family for

    wronging her.

    ¡°Aunt¡­¡± I pause, not really finding the words to continue. ¡°And what do you mean, you can¡¯t find him?¡±

    I shouldn¡¯t have asked, but curiosity just got the better of me.

    ¡°You know what day today is, right?¡± she asked.

    I¡¯m confused, thinking today is Tuesday. Nothing special about it. That is until I remember the exact date.

    I blink, then nce at the calendar, March 15.

    Oh

    My chest tightens.

    I hadpletely forgotten. Or maybe I just didn¡¯t want to remember.

    ¡°Yes,¡± I reply softly.

    ¡°He left the twins with us and said he¡¯d be back. That was hours ago,¡± she continues, her voice cracking.¡± We¡¯ve called him. Over and over. He won¡¯t answer. And today¡¯s¡­ today¡¯s hard for him, especially with the twins having turned Five. I¡¯m worried, Si¡±

    My heart aches at the pain in her voice, but I just can¡¯t. Noah is where I draw the line. I swore to myself to never cross paths with him since he got married.

    What was the need to be around him when he clearly hated me? I needed to do what¡¯s best for me and

    protect my heart.

    ¡°Aunt Ava, have you tried Gunner?¡± I ask her, my voice trembling. ¡°He is his best friend; he¡¯s bound to

    know something.¡±

    ¡°He doesn¡¯t. All the locations he sent us turned out to be dead ends.¡± She answers. ¡°He is also overseas, so

    there is not much he could do.¡±

    ¡°What about Lilly? She¡¯s knows him just as well,¡± I offer weakly.

    I was grasping at straws. Anything that would save me from having to do this favor for her. I do love her truly, but Noah is a no¨Cgo zone.

    ¡°Her phone is turned off. No one can reach her.¡±

    Damn it! We talked before I went to sleep. She told me she was going on a date. If she switched off her

    phone, then it means the date was going pretty well.

    ¡°Please, Si. I¡¯m afraid he¡¯ll do something stupid in his state.<i>¡± </i>she cries, and my heart melts. ¡°You are the

    only one I know who knows him best.¡±

    I want to tell her no. I need to. I promised myself that I would never let myself be tangled up in Noah Woods¡® world again. Not after he shattered mine.

    I tried toe up with excuses I could give her, but my mind was nk. Noah and I are a vtile mix,

    and I doubt he would want to see me, especially today.

    ¡°I know it¡¯s a pretty big ask, but I am really worried about him.¡± the worry, sadness and heartbreak in her

    voice are my undoing. It breaks all of my defenses.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what I¡¯ll say if I do find him. It¡¯s been years,¡± I murmur. ¡°I don¡¯t even know if he¡¯ll talk to me.¡±

    ¡°Just try. Please.¡±

    I close my eyes. My chest aches with a thousand things left unsaid. But I can¡¯t say no to her. I never could.

    ¡°Okay,¡± I whisper, defeated. ¡°I¡¯ll do it.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Sierra. Thank you so much.¡±

    It¡¯s hard not to miss the relief in her voice and that makes it worth it even though I have this nagging feeling that this isn¡¯t going to end well for me.

 Figured 545

    Chapter <b>545 </b>

    I sit <b>in </b>the stillness of my room after finishing the call with Aunt Ava. A tired sigh escapes my lips as I lean back against the headboard as the weight of her request settles heavily on my chest. What on earth did I just get myself into?

    I meant it when I said I¡¯d do anything for Aunt Ava and I know I agreed to her request, but this feels

    different. This feels like I am about to open a can of worms.

    Noah and I have a history. Not the kind people smile about when they¡¯re older and wiser. No, ours is made of jagged edges and silent wounds. For reasons only known to him, he¡¯s always hated me. From the very first moment we met, it was like something inside him decided I was the enemy.

    I tried everything to make him like me; God, how I tried. I¡¯d chase after his approval, desperate for a sliver of kindness, only to be met with cruelty that left me shattered and in tears. No matter what I did, how

    hard I tried to be liked or noticed, nothing ever worked.

    He would always say something hurtful and demeaning and I would always end up crying and feeling sorry for myself. I never got it, honestly. Sure, I came on a little bit too strongly, but I doubt that is reason

    enough to hate someone.

    I was only eight. He was nine. But even at that age, the hostility in his eyes was unmistakable. He always treated me like the damn antichrist. It always puzzled me how such a small boy could carry so much hate at that age. It would have been different if he hated others too, but it wasn¡¯t. He had no trouble showing the best parts of himself to others¡­ But never to me.

    Being around each other never ended well, especially for me, so eventually, I learned to stay clear of him.

    It hurt less that way<b>. </b>

    I haven¡¯t seen or talked to him in years, so why did I agree to be the one to search for him? Thest time I saw him was at his wedding. I watched him getting married and told myself that was it. That was thest time I¡¯d allow myself to feel anything for Noah. I made a promise that day: I would not break my heart again for someone who never saw it in the first ce.

    It was a decision I made for my own peace of mind and I have never looked back. Not until now.

    So here I am. Heart racing. Gut twisted in knots. About to go looking for the one person I¡¯ve spent years

    trying to forget.

    Feeling a familiar heaviness in my heart, I push those painful memories away. I¡¯vee a long way from the girl I was. The girl who had her heart trampled over and over again by the boy she loved. There was no way I was going to allow old griefs to resurface.

    Instead of focusing on the past, I pick my phone back up and call Lilly. The phone rings twice before going straight to voicemail. I try again; nothing. A frustrated grunt leaves my mouth as I try once again, only to be disappointed.

    ¡°Fuck!¡± I hurl the phone onto the pillow beside me, startling ckie, who gives me the filthiest look a cat

    can manage.

    ¡°Sorry, my sweet girl,¡± I say, guilt creeping in. ¡°I wasn¡¯t cursing you.¡±

    She hisses softly before leaping off the bed.

    With a sigh, I push myself up and head to the bathroom. After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I stare at my reflection in the mirror and tired eyes stare back at me. My heart feels heavier than it should.

    I grip the edges of the sink, bracing myself against the rising tide of dread. This isn¡¯t just a favor. This is a return to a past that nearly broke me.

    Am I really ready for this? Am I really ready to face Noah again?

    It¡¯s been six whole years. Six years of peace. Six years of tranquility. Six years of healing. Am I really ready to throw it all away? Because that¡¯s what will happen if I go ahead with this. The man has hated me since I was eight. I doubt he would have had a change of heart in the six years I avoided him like the damn gue.

    My hand tightens around the bathroom sink as my dilemma eats at me from the inside out. I already promised Aunt Ava. She has never asked anything of me that she wouldn¡¯t do herself if she could, so how could I back out now?

    With a shaky breath, I straighten my back and shoulders, I stomp back into my room and head straight for my closet. I throw on the first clothes I see¨Ca baggy T¨Cshirt and soft sweatpants.

    ¡°Fuck!¡± I hurl the phone onto the pillow beside me, startling ckie, who gives me the filthiest look a cat

    can manage.

    ¡°Sorry, my sweet girl,¡± I say, guilt creeping in. ¡°I wasn¡¯t cursing you.¡±

    She hisses softly before leaping off the bed.

    With a sigh, I push myself up and head to the bathroom. After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I stare at my reflection in the mirror and tired eyes stare back at me. My heart feels heavier than it should.

    I grip the edges of the sink, bracing myself against the rising tide of dread. This isn¡¯t just a favor. This is a

    return to a past that nearly broke me.

    Am I really ready for this? Am I really ready to face Noah again?

    It¡¯s been six whole years. Six years of peace. Six years of tranquility. Six years of healing. Am I really ready to throw it all away? Because that¡¯s what will happen if I go ahead with this. The man has hated me since I was eight. I doubt he would have had a change of heart in the six years I avoided him like the damn gue.

    My hand tightens around the bathroom sink as my dilemma eats at me from the inside out. I already promised Aunt Ava. She has never asked anything of me that she wouldn¡¯t do herself if she could, so how could I back out now?

    With a shaky breath, I straighten my back and shoulders. I stomp back into my room and head straight for my closet. I throw on the first clothes I see¨Ca baggy T¨Cshirt and soft sweatpants.

    Chapter <b>546 </b>

 Figured 546

    BONUS

    Chapter <b>546 </b>

    The quicker I got this over with, the better.

    ckie meows at me from across the room.

    ¡°I won¡¯t be long,¡± I promise, scooping her up and hugging her close, hoping I could absorb some of her

    strength and courage.

    She purrs softly, grounding me in her quiet way. I set her down gently, making sure she has food and water before grabbing my keys and heading out.

    Once I am outside, I quickly get in my car before immediately locking the doors. I live in a safe

    neighborhood, but you can never be too careful.

    It¡¯s only after I start the ignition that I realize I haven¡¯t thought this through. I just sit there. The engine hums beneath my hands, but I don¡¯t move. I have no n. No leads.

    Noah could be anywhere. This was foolish. What was I thinking?

    Aunt Ava thought I was her best shot, but maybe I am not. Sure, I was obsessed with him when we were younger, something I¡¯m still embarrassed of, by the way. I knew him better back then, but like I said, it¡¯s been six years. I probably don¡¯t know him as well as I used to.

    I try to think of the one ce he would go to but I end uping up nk. I eliminate the obvious. Not the cemetery- That would have been the first ce they checked.

    Not a bar or a club¨CNoah isn¡¯t the kind to unravel in public. He wouldn¡¯t want anyone to see his grief. He¡¯s too proud for that.

    And besides, Knowing Aunt Ava, she probably called every club and bar owned by Uncle Rowan and his twin, Uncle Gabe.

    So, where the hell would he go?

    I rake a hand through my hair, frustration bubbling under my skin. Would it be terrible if I lied? I could just tell Aunt Ava that I couldn¡¯t find him, but then she would know I lied. The thought of disappointing her, of hearing that hurt in her voice, stops me cold.

    I was about to give up when something clicked. A memory.

    Noah misses her, so he¡¯d probably go somece that was special to them. Some ce that would make

    him feel close to him.

    A smile breaks free from my lips.

    She once told me about a hidden spot. A ce that held meaning for both of them. No one was supposed to know about it except the two of them, but for some odd reason she told me.

    Without hesitation, I pull out of the driveway and begin the drive north. The further I go, the darker the road bes. My knuckles are white around the steering wheel, panic wing at the edges of my

    My mind is screaming at me to turn back, giving me every reason why I should go back home; I ignored it. I am doing this for Aunt Ava.

    Yet even with my reasoning, I couldn¡¯t get rid of the feeling that I was making a big mistake.

    When I finally arrive, I park a little way off and begin walking.

    And then I see it. A car.

    The moment I saw the car, relief and dread crashed into me. Going head¨Cto¨Chead in a battle for dominance. The wind here was chilly, maybe because it was on top of a hill. It should have cooled me, but

    it had nothing on the raging emotions that were fighting inside me and wreaking havoc

    A thousand memoriese flooding back, each one tugging at old scars. I take a shaky breath and move.

    ¡®Are you sure about this?¡® the voice inside my head asks.

    My feet freeze and everything inside me stills at the question.

    My brows furrow, and I clench my teeth against the need to turn back and ran as far away from Noah as possible. But I don¡¯t. Instead, I pull my shoulders back and take one step forward, then another, until I¡¯m steadily walking towards the cliff.

    It isn¡¯t that long until I spot a lone figure sitting almost at the edge.

    Emotions swirl inside me

    ¡®It¡¯s not toote to turn back<i>,</i><i>¡® </i>it whispers again, but this time with more urgency.

    I nod my head, determination settling inside and I resume walking. I am not a quitter. Neither do I break promises¡­but maybe I should have. I should have broken this one promise and ran like my life depended

    on it.

    Maybe if I had known what was toe, I would have made a different choice, but I didn¡¯t. I should have known. I should have seen iting, but hindsight is a bitch like that.

 Figured 547

    Chapter <b>547 </b>

    I walk slowly towards Noah. No one needs to tell me it¡¯s him. Even after six years, I can still tell him apart

    from millions of people.

    I literally feel like my heart is lodged in my throat. Like someone is squeezing my lungs. Stealing the very air, I am trying to push into them. I clench my hands in an effort to stop them from shaking, but it is no

    use.

    His ck hair is as I remember. What is different, though, is his build. His shoulders are broader; he has a

    more solid frame. He also seems bigger, more imposing. Then again, thest time I saw him, he was

    twenty. He is now a twenty¨Csix¨Cyear¨Cold man. Of course I couldn¡¯t expect him <i>to </i>stay the same.

    I continue slowly, feeling as if my feet are made of lead. The wind brushes against me, as if whispering secrets I can¡¯t understand. The chill vanishes just as quickly, leaving behind a heat that makes me feel

    ufortable in my own skin

    Finally, after what feels like a millennium, I reach where he is seated.

    I stand behind him. Inhaling slowly. Trying to calm myself. Trying to think of what I should say. I¡¯d been

    so focused on finding him that I hadn¡¯t thought about what woulde next. Now here I am, frozen and

    mute, standing behind him like some sort of serial killer creep.

    I was just about to call his name when his deep voice broke the silence.

    ¡°What are you doing here, Sierra?¡±

    I stand rooted, with my mouth slightly open. How did he know it was me? I shake my head at the stupid

    question. He hates me, so of course he would know it was me. Know thy enemy, type of thing, right?

    ¡°I could ask you the same thing,¡± I say, stepping from behind him.

    That¡¯s when I see them¨Cbottles scattered at his feet. But it isn¡¯t the bottles that have me worried. It¡¯s the

    rolled¨Cup papers.

    He doesn¡¯t look at me. Just keeps staring out at the city below. No wonder they loved this ce. The view is breathtaking

    ¡°I came here to remember,¡± he murmurs. ¡°I¡¯ve been forgettingtely. Her smell, her voice, herugh, her smile. I just wanted to remember her¡±

    <b>¡°</b>Noah¡±

    I can¡¯t help the tremble in my voice, just like I can¡¯t ignore the raw pain in his voice. He is hurting and missing her with every fiber of his being.

    I drop to my knees beside him and rest a hand on his shoulder, offering what littlefort I can. His body

    trembles, as if the pain and grief inside him are fighting for release. Fighting to be let out, while he does everything he can to keep them buried.

    I look at him¨Creally look at him for the first time in six years. He isn¡¯t anywhere near the man he was on his wedding day. His eyes are hollow. Empty. It¡¯s like the Noah I knew died the day she died.

    Today is Chloe¡¯s death anniversary.

    She passed away two years ago from stage four brain cancer. No one knew she was sick. Not even Chloe

    herself. By the time she was diagnosed, it was already toote. There was nothing they could have done

    to save her.

    They had given her a maximum of one year to live, but Chloe died four months after the cancer was

    diagnosed.

    ¡°I miss her so much,¡± he whispers, voice hoarse. ¡°Why did it have to be her? Why did she have to die? How

    are the twins supposed to survive without her? How am I supposed to live without her?¡±

    The questions tumble from him, one after another. I can¡¯t answer them. I have no answers. Just silence and sympathy.

    I questioned what I was about to do, but it was killing me witnessing his pain. It was killing me seeing

    him hurting this way. I hesitate for a second¨Cthen move closer and wrap an arm around his shoulders, pulling him to me.

    To my surprise, he doesn¡¯t resist. He doesn¡¯t fight me. He doesn¡¯t insult me or push me away. He simply clings to me, holding on to me like I am a lifeline, like his life depends on it. His grip hurt a little, but I let him. I let him, even though I knew I probably shouldn¡¯t.

    ¡°Make it stop, Sierra. Please make the pain go away.¡±

    ¡°I wish I could, Noah.¡±

    His shoulders shake silently. He doesn¡¯t make a sound, but I know he is crying¨Cfor Chloe. For the love he lost. For everything that would never be.

    ¡°I want her toe back,¡± his voice breaks. ¡°I want all this to be nothing but a terrible dream. I miss her so much and It¡¯s getting harder to live each day that I am here without her.¡±

    His words scare me because they sound like the words of someone who has given up all hope. Maybe I should have a talk with Aunt Ava and see whether she can get him to see a therapist.

    Since there is nothing else I could do for now, I hold him tighter, wishing I could absorb even a fraction of his pain. No matter what happened between us in the past. No matter how terrible he was to me, no one deserved this kind of grief. No one should go through the pain of losing a loved one.

    Chapter <b>548 </b>

 Figured 548

    Chapter <b>548 </b>

    It¡¯s even worse for him because no one saw iting. No one predicted it. One minute she was okay and the next she was gone. He never had time to prepare. To process her illness or her death. I doubt he ever epted death.

    ¡°You haven¡¯t told me why you are here,¡± he says as he pushes away from me, seeming to back <i>to </i>his

    normal self.

    I don¡¯t know how long it had been, but I also didn¡¯t care. He now seemed moreposed. I could still see

    the pain in his gray eyes, but he was better. Almost like releasing some of the pain he had been holding had helped a little.

    My legs were numb from kneeling, so I shoved aside the scattered bottles and sat next to him.

    ¡°Your mom was worried about you,¡± I say quietly.

    He lets out a short, mockingugh. ¡°So, she sent you?¡±

    ¡°Yup.¡±

    ¡°Of all people.¡± He sounds genuinely surprised. It¡¯s like he just couldn¡¯t believe that his mom would send <ol><li>me. </li></ol>

    ¡°I know, right?¡± Iugh. ¡°I asked the same thing.¡±

    We fall silent. I¡¯m not surprised, though; Noah and I rarely interacted so it not a surprise that we didn¡¯t have anything to talk about.

    Then, unexpectedly, he pulled a stash from his pocket. Lit it and then took a slow drag.

    ¡°That¡¯s not good for you,¡± I mutter, eyeing him worriedly. ¡°I thought you quit.¡±

    Things were hard for him after Chloe¡¯s death. He spiraled. He fell into depression, became an alcoholic and even started doing drugs. His parents had to take him for rehabilitation after he wrecked his car one day driving home while high.

    ¡°I did,¡± he says. ¡°But today¡­ I need something to ground me. Something to take the edge off. Something to help me cope with the pain. Alcohol wasn¡¯t doing shit.¡±

    To my surprise, he offers me one. I¡¯ve never smoked before. But against my better judgment, I take it, bring it to my lips and inhale.

    I cough violently as my body tries to fight the foreign substance. Tears stinging my eyes as the smoke invades my lungs. <b>It </b>burns like hell.

    Noah barely nces at me before turning back to the city view below.

    ¡°The twins turned five a few weeks ago,¡± he begins. ¡°She had everything nned for their big five. Down to thest detail. Today just hit hard. She won¡¯t be there to watch them grow up. To see all their

    milestones. It wasn¡¯t supposed to be like this. We were supposed to grow old together, Sierra. But I lost

    her. And she¡¯s noting back.¡±

    I want to say something, but what can I say? Nothing I do or say will make things easier or better for him. Instead, I take another drag, this time it¡¯s much easier.

    ¡°Does it make me selfish that I wish it had been me who died?¡± he asks softly ¡°That way I wouldn¡¯t be the

    one going through this constant pain.¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t make you selfish, Noah,¡± I reply. ¡°It makes you human.¡±

    If you had asked me whether I could imagine sitting with Noah, smoking and talking like normal people,

    I would have said hell no. But here we were. It¡¯s foreign. It¡¯s different¡­ And almost peaceful.

    We start talking about Chloe. Our memories of her. They were all mixed. There were happy ones and sad

    ones. We talk for what seemed like forever. By the time we stop, I feel lightheaded and I am probably high.

    The air between us isfortable, something that has never happened.

    Through the haze and foggy mind, I realized that I hadn¡¯t called or texted Aunt Ava to let her know that I

    had found Noah.

    I¡¯d done what I promised. It was time to go home.

    I¡¯ve never been this rxed before. I felt so happy. Sure, everything felt slow and distorted, but who cares

    when I feel so good?

    I stand up and immediately stumble. The world around me is spinning¡­ And why the hell did the

    distance between me and my car seem longer? Also, what was up with the burst of colors? Why did they

    seem brighter than they should be?

    ¡°Where are you going?¡± Noah¡¯s voice sounds so far away.

    ¡°Home,¡± I reply. ¡°I¡¯ll text Aunt Ava to let her know that I found you.¡±

    I don¡¯t look back, just turn <i>to </i>leave, a strange, happy excitement bubbling inside me. I just wanted to get

    home and cuddle with ckie,

    With that in mind, I take a step forward but then¨CI am stopped.

    Frowning, I turn and find Noah holding my hand.

    ¡°Don¡¯t go,¡± he begs, voice rough and vulnerable.

    ¡°Noah-¡±

    ¡°Please don¡¯t go, don¡¯t leave me,¡± he pleads. ¡°Just for one night¡­ help me forget. I want to feel alive again. I want to forget the constant ache.¡±

    My frown fades when I meet his storm¨Cgrey eyes. He looks so lost. So desperate.

    I want to help him. But who is going to help me when he decides I no longer have any use?

 Figured 549

    <b>Chapter </b><b>549 </b>

    I pull my arm from his hand and take a step back.

    ¡°I promised Aunt Ava I¡¯d find you, and I did,¡± I say, my wordsing out sluggishly. ¡°Now I¡¯m going home.¡±

    I don¡¯t give him a chance to reply. I turn away, my steps slow and wobbly, but I keep moving.

    I can feel the danger in the air around us. The danger in his words. The kind that warns you when something is about to shift. Something that you might not be able toe back from.

    I stumbled towards my car. The need to leave pushing me forward. I know I¡¯m high, but I can¡¯t risk staying. I¡¯ll drive really slowly if that¡¯s what it takes to make sure I arrive home in one piece.

    Relief hits me when I finally reach my car. My hands tremble as I struggle to dig the keys from my pocket when I feel him behind me. His body heat scorching me and heating the air between us.

    I stiffen, my back bing ramrod. Before I can react, he spins me around and pins me to my car.

    ¡°Please,¡± he begs, his stormy gray eyes rooting me to the spot.

    They hypnotize me. Drawing me into the depths and pulling me under like a tide. For a heartbeat, I forget all the reasons why I shouldn¡¯t be here. Why staying is a bad idea.

    He steps closer, invading every inch of my personal space. We are flush against each other. So close that I can feel every hard ridge of his body pressed against me.

    I shake my head trying to clear the fog, trying to remember how to say no, but it doesn¡¯t do shit.

    I feel him in a way I¡¯ve never felt him. I¡¯m close to him in a way I¡¯ve never been. It messes with my head, making it hard for me to think straight.

    I ce my hands on his chest, intending to push him away, but nothing happens. I should push him

    away. I want to, but for some weird reason, I can¡¯t.

    Then, without warning, his hands are on me. First on my hips, then my waist. Sparks burst forth on every

    spot he touches me.

    ¡°Noah,¡± I whisper, my voice a plea. Pleading with him to let me go. To put an end to whatever was happening, but he does the opposite; he ignites the fire into a burning inferno.

    I don¡¯t have time process anything before he crashes his lips onto mine¡­. And just like that, the sparks

    turn into a wildfire.

    There is no tenderness in the kiss<b>, </b>just need. It¡¯s bruising. It¡¯s scorching. It¡¯s nothing like I¡¯ve ever felt. 1

    We are breathing hard when he pulls away, both of us staring at each other in shock, and something else

    Hunger. Pure, undiluted hunger

    This is my chance to walk away. To forget that that kiss ever happened. I should just leave, but I don¡¯t.

    His kiss brought forth feelings I had long forgotten. Feelings I had long buried. Years of burying them

    under the rubble and a single kiss undoes all the effort I had put in. It¡¯s like, the fact that he has hated me

    doesn¡¯t even matter.

    Our eyes remain on each other, well, that is until something snaps in both of us. I don¡¯t know who moves

    first; all I know is that we sh in a flurry of limbs and lips.

    He devours me, his hand caressing every inch of my body. My mind is screaming warnings, but I can¡¯t

    hear them over the pleasure coursing through me. It¡¯s messy and reckless. Wrong in every possible way,

    but it feels like heaven.

    In that moment, riding high on the feel of his body, I don¡¯t feel a shroud of regret.

    ***

    Morning light filters through the thin curtains, dragging me from sleep. My head throbs, and everything

    feels off.

    I blink up at a ceiling I don¡¯t recognize. This isn¡¯t my room. I¡¯m a little bit confused as I try to piece together where I am and how I ended up here.

    The heavy arm around my waist is a sure sign that I am in somebody¡¯s bed.

    I turn slowly, dread seeping inside my bones. It¡¯s been almost two years since I had a one¨Cnight stand, so

    what the hell happened, and how did I end up here?

    When his face registers, everything crashes into me like a fucking avnche, threatening to bury me

    alive. The cliff. The kiss. The motel. His hands. My moans. His name on my lips.

    Panic grips me, and fear cripples me.

    Of all people, why did it have to be him?

    Memory after memory assaults me as I scramble out of bed. He fucked me on the hood of my car. I¡¯d thought that was it, but then he told me that he wasn¡¯t done with me yet. We ended up here, where we

    spent hours tangled in each other.

    I scramble to get my clothes. My mind is a huge mess, and my heart won¡¯t stop racing. I can barely breathe as I dress quickly, hoping to leave before he wakes up.

 Figured 550

    This wasn¡¯t supposed to happen. None of it was supposed to happen, so how did I let it happen? Being

    high isn¡¯t a damn excuse.

    My eyes trail to Noah¡¯s sleeping form. He is on his back, one arm over his eyes and the sheets down to his

    waist.

    A barrage of more sceneses flooding back into my mind. Scenes I have a feeling would be burned in my memory for the rest of my life

    I stand rooted in horror just watching him. Tears spring to my eyes as the weight of what happened

    between us weighs me down.

    My breathing quickens as shame floods my chest.

    I slept with Noah Woods.

    I slept with Chloe¡¯s husband.

    The words continue ringing over and over again in my head like a broken record.

    ¡°Shit! Shit! Shit!¡± I mutter as guilt and self¨Cdisgust press down on me.

    A sob ws its way up my throat, but I swallow it down. I need to get out of here. I need to get away

    before he wakes up and-

    Toote.

    ¡°What the fuck is going on?¡± His voice is hoarse and sharp, cutting through the silence like a de.

    I freeze.

    A moment passes, and then his booming voice says, ¡°What the fuck are you doing here, Sierra?¡±

    I turn slowly to face him, and the look in his eyes nearly knocks the wind out of me. Disgust. Pure, unfiltered disgust.

    I don¡¯t say a single word. I¡¯m too shocked, too horrified, too emotional to say a single word.

    He sits up, scrubbing a hand down his face. Then heughs bitterly.

    ¡°Let me guess<b>,</b><b>¡± </b>he sneers. ¡°My mom sent you to check on me, and you saw your golden opportunity to finally get in my pants; is that it?¡±

    ¡°W¨Cwhat?¡± <b>I </b>stammer, barely able to register his harsh words.

    ¡°You knew I was high. You figured since you¡¯ve been drooling over my dick for years, you¡¯d take advantage of the moment.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not-¡®

    He cuts me off before I could finish my sentence.

    ¡°Right,¡± he cuts me off coldly. ¡°You knew I wouldn¡¯t fuck you sober, so you went for it when my defenses were down. Do you feel better, Sierra? Was it everything that you¡¯d imagined? I hope I didn¡¯t disappoint.¡±

    His words are cruel, cutting me to the very core of my existence. Noah knew how to crash me. He knew how to destroy me until there was nothing left and I was barely breathing.

    I couldn¡¯t stop the tears, but they didn¡¯t seem to affect him. He just stared at me in disgust, with a sneer

    on his face.

    He gets up from the bed, gets his pants, and slips them on.

    I begin to shake when he starts walking towards me, only stopping a few feet away.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t want you then, and I sure as hell don¡¯t want you now,¡± he says, each word like poison. ¡°You¡¯re nothing but a desperate whore.¡±

    I don¡¯t think. All I know is that I had heard enough.

    My hand flies before I can stop it. The sound of the p echoes in the small motel room. His face jerks to the side. The red imprint on his cheek eases something in me and gives me a flicker of satisfaction.

    ¡°You don¡¯t get to talk to me like that, asshole.¡± I snap, my voice trembling with fury, ¡°You are the one who came onto me! You are the one that begged me to stay! You don¡¯t get to sit on your high horse and treat me like dirt after you got what you wanted.¡±

    He clenches his jaw, his fists at his side. He is pissed, but I don¡¯t give a fuck.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t fuck myself,¡± I hiss. ¡°So don¡¯t act like I forced you into anything¡±

    I grab my shoes, slipping them on as tears streak down my face.

    ¡°Fuck you, Noah ¡°I spit, flipping him the middle finger. It was that or hit him again. ¡°And if you ever call <b><i>me </i></b>a whore again, I swear I¡¯ll grind your balls into a pulp before shoving them down your fucking throat

    His eyes ze with fury, but I <b>don¡¯t </b>care. I won¡¯t let him tear me down Not again

    I stalk toward the doo1

    ¡°Oh, and by the way,¡± I say over my shoulder, ¡°you were a lousy fuck¡±

    With that, I walk out¨Cshoulders back, chin high. Myeback may be childish, but he isn¡¯t the only one who is allowed to tear someone down I can give as good as I get.

    I rush out of the motel, my heart pounding, my soul cracked wide open, andpletely pissed. I should¡¯ve listened to that inner voice. I should¡¯ve known better, but I didn¡¯t, and what¡¯s done is done

    Now all I can do is pray I never have to see Noah Woods again.

 Figured 551

    +15 BONU

    When I get to the parking lot, I move like a shadow, eyes darting around, scanning for any sign of paparazzi.

    God forbid, but thest thing I want is to be photographed leaving the same motel as Noah. After all, he¡¯s Noah Wood¨Cson of Rowan and Ava Wood. They are a power couple. Royalty ruling this city. Paparazzi are always following them around and they took a keen interest in their eldest son.

    Aunt Ava and Uncle Rowan have known me for as long as Noah has. They¡¯ve always loved me¨Cand I love them just as much. I don¡¯t think they¡¯d be angry if something ever happened between Noah and me. They¡¯ve always known how I felt about him when we were younger.

    But still¡­ if this ever got out, it would be a disaster.

    Not because of them¨Cbut because of what it would mean for both me and Noah.

    Because as much as we did sleep together, Noah doesn¡¯t feel anything for me. Last night didn¡¯t mean anything to him. He was lonely and just wanted to scratch an itch, and I was avable.

    Thest thing I want is for his parents to pressure him into moving on and pushing for him to be with me. I know them and I know that¡¯s what will happen if word of what happened ever gets out. They would think it means something and will try everything to push us together. I can¡¯t have that.

    The moment I get to my car, I waste no time. I unlock it and slip inside, locking the doors behind me. The one sensible thing I did yesterday of all the stupid things I let happen was to drive myself here.

    My hands tremble slightly as I lean forward, resting my head against the steering wheel. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to breathe, but the air gets stuck in my throat.

    All the courage and bravado I had just a few minutes ago crumbles to dust, reced by a deep cold ache that settles in my chest, heavy and unyielding.

    Tears spring up before I can stop them. I blink fast, trying to hold them back, but it¡¯s pointless. A sob breaks loose, then another, until I¡¯m crying in broken gasps, my face hidden against the leather of the wheel. Pain and anger merge inside me in a vtile mix that threatens to drown me.

    I m my <b>palm </b>against it. A scream rips from my lips as pain washes over me. It consumes me as I let it out, <b>as </b>I let it pour out of me in waves. My heart clenches at the onught of it and I feel like I can¡¯t

    breathe.

    When I¡¯m finally done, I don¡¯t feel better; I just feel empty inside. Hollow. Like my chest is cracked wide open for vultures to pick on my bleeding heart.

    Why didn¡¯t I leave when I had the chance? Why did I stay?

    Why did I smoke the joint he gave me, knowing I wasn¡¯t thinking clearly?

    So many questions but no answer, because nothing can fix this.

    I knew it. Deep down I knew that it was a mistake. That my decision to stay woulde back to bite me in the ass, yet I ignored all the warning bells. Every instinct, every red g screamed at me to leave. But I stayed. I chose to stay.

    And now here I am, my old wounds now ripped wide open. The past I buried wing its way back out of the grave I shoved it into.

    I had healed, butst night undid everything. All the progress I made. I¡¯m bleeding all over again and it¡¯s all because of him.

    I¡¯ve known Noah since I was nine years old. I knew how he felt about me. I knew he despised me. So what possessed me to think that sleeping with him could be anything but a disaster?

    His words echo over and over in my head like a broken record and every time? It drives the knife deeper into my heart.

    Noah is the only one who¡¯s ever had the power to make me bleed, and he¡¯s proven that he still has that power. That he still knows how to ruthlessly wield and use it.

    It hurts. His words, his eyes, the way he looked at me like I was nothing. Like I was¡­ a mistake. His assumptions of me. It all hurts, making it feel like needles prickling my soul.

    I press a hand to my chest, trying to calm the pain building there. The ache that¡¯s suffocating me¡­ But it¡¯s no use. My breath stutters. My world tilts.

    Pain. Guilt. Shame. Panic.

    They crash into each other inside me until I¡¯m drowning in it. I try to pull myself up, but I keep falling deeper and deeper into the cold endless darkness. I almost give up and let go when a sound slices through the fog.

    My phone ringing.

    I dive for it, quickly fishing it out of the glove department and holding it like it¡¯s an anchor.

    ¡°Hey, Love¡­ I just saw your missed call.¡±

    Relief crashes into me. Her sweet, warm voice grounds me. Pulls me back from the edge. I let it wash over me, as I use it as a guide back to the present and away from the darkness.

    ¡°Lilly,<b>¡± </b>I murmur brokenly, my voice cracking as once again my tears start falling.

    ¡°What is it? What¡¯s wrong?¡± she asks quickly, concern sharp in her tone.

    <b>¡°</b>I<b>¨C</b>I¡­¡±

    ?

    <b>5 </b>

    I can¡¯t finish the words. What am I supposed to tell her? That I slept with her cousin? The same one who¡¯s hated me for

 Figured 552

    ¡°Si, talk to me,¡± she urges gently.

    I swallow, hard. I can¡¯t tell her. This is mine to carry. My shame. My burden. It¡¯ll stay buried with me. No one can ever know just how royally I messed up.

    ¡°It¡¯s nothing.¡± I lie, wiping at my tears. ¡°Just¡­ one of those days.¡±

    The silence that follows is too long. For a moment, I think she¡¯s hung up. Then she speaks again, quiet

    and cautious.

    ¡°You know¡­ I just got off the phone with Aunt Ava.¡±

    My heart stutters.

    ¡°She told you,¡± I say tly.

    ¡°She said she asked you to find Noahst night when she couldn¡¯t reach him. And that you texted her

    after saying you¡¯d found him. That he was okay.¡±

    Shit.

    I fumble for words. ¡°Uh¨Cyeah. I found him. Things just¡­ didn¡¯t go well for me.¡±

    ¡°What happened? I swear I¡¯ll castrate him if he said even one hurtful word.¡±

    And she honestly would. It wouldn¡¯t be the first time Lilly went head¨Cto¨Ctoe with her cousin for me. There

    was a time when I was thirteen; she didn¡¯t talk to Noah for weeks after he humiliated me in front of the

    entire ss.

    I had to convince her to let it go and it took a month for her to finally let it go.

    I want to tell her everything but my shame. It¡¯s stopping me from spilling everything on her like I always <ol><li>do. </li></ol>

    We¡¯ve never had secrets between us, but this one? This is one secret I¡¯m taking to the grave with me.

    <b>¡°</b>You know the usual, Noah being Noah,¡± I reply in a detached tone. ¡°He didn¡¯t take kindly to seeing me.¡±

    Technically speaking, I wasn¡¯t lying. It¡¯s just half the truth.

    ¡°Si¡­¡± she whispers softly.

    That¡¯s all she says, but it¡¯s enough. She knows how it must have hurt even without telling her everything.

    <b>No </b>one and I mean no one has ever been at the receiving end <b>of </b>Noah¡¯s hatred like I have. She¡¯s my best friend so she knows and understands just how deeply Noah can hurt me.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± my voice cracks once again. ¡°I got used to it, remember? ¡­ It stings, but that¡¯s all there is.<b>¡± </b>

    Another lie.

    It doesn¡¯t just sting. It has shattered me.

    We fall into silence. It¡¯s not awkward. Just¡­ familiar. We¡¯ve been here before. Too many times. We¡¯ve

    picked apart every possible reason for Noah¡¯s hatred over the years and we always came up empty. Eventually, we gave up trying to figure him out.

    ¡°I need to go home,¡± I say softly.

    I realize my mistake immediately after the words leave my mouth.

    ¡°Where are you?¡± she asks, suspicious now.

    ¡°I just¡­ I took a drive to clear my head. Needed space.¡±

    I hear her sigh. ¡°I¡¯ll have words with him, Si¡­ Don¡¯t let his words get to you. Remember that you are loved.

    You¡¯ve always been loved. Forget my idiot cousin. I love him to death, but he isn¡¯t worth the tears you¡¯ve shed all these years.¡±

    I love that she wants to help, but we both know it¡¯s not going to help shit. And besides, I don¡¯t know if

    Noah would reveal what happened between us, but I can¡¯t risk it.

    Plus, I n to go back to how things were in the six years I avoided him. In a few months none of this is

    going to matter.

    I take a deep breath, letting her words wash over me even though I don¡¯t feel that put together.

    ¡°Thanks, Lilly, for always having my back, but there is no need to talk to him. We both know it won¡¯t do any good. Just let it go.¡±

    ¡°Fine, and no need for thanks; you¡¯d have done the same for me,¡± she lets out a breath. ¡°Text me when you

    get home.¡±

    ¡°Will do.¡±

    We hang up. I sit there for a beat longer, then finally start the car and drive.

    The ride home blurs past me. I don¡¯t even remember the turns I took. Just the ache in my chest.

    I park, get out, and head straight inside.

    ckie greets me at the door, her tiny voice pulling a smile from me I didn¡¯t know I still had. I scoop her up, nuzzle her soft fur<b>, </b>then set her down gently.

    I drop the keys on the table before walking to the kitchen with ckie trailing behind me, her cute little meows easing the heaviness inside. Being here in my space with cky is like a balm, already making

    me feel better.

    Dropping onto one of the bar stools, phone in hand, ready to text Lilly, I see it.

    Aunt Ava¡¯s text.

    [Thank you, my Darling. You didn¡¯t have to, but you did me a huge favor. Noah just picked up the twins and he looks better than he has since Chloe died. Thank you, and I love you.

    I stare at the screen. My thumbs hover. I want to reply. But I don¡¯t.

    I don¡¯t know why. Maybe because she doesn¡¯t know the full story. Maybe because I did more than just

    find Noah and now I feel like I did something wrong.

    I set the phone down.

    I tell myself to forget it all. Last night. Him. Everything.

    But some things¡­ don¡¯t go away just because we want them to.

    X

 Figured 553

    It¡¯s been a month since that night. I haven¡¯t seen Noah nor do I wish to. I regret that night more than <b>I </b>regret any other mistake I¡¯ve ever done in my life.

    I want to me it on being high, but I can¡¯t. I had chances¨Cso many chances to leave. To get in my car.

    To push him away when he kissed me. But I didn¡¯t. I stayed. And that¡¯s on me.

    I me myself for being weak. For letting those grey eyes lure me in. For falling under his spell when I knew better. I wasn¡¯t strong enough to walk away, and I resent myself for that.

    I thought I could forget that night¨Cbut it still haunts me. The memory presses on me like a weight I can¡¯t dig myself out from under.

    The taste of his lips. Those stormy eyes. The way his body moved against mine. His groans, his pleasure. They haunt me even in sleep. I¡¯ve tried everything to erase them, but nothing works. That night is branded on my mind like a fucking tattoo.

    Sighing, I force myself to focus. I stare down at the petri dish in front of me, willing myself to think about work¨Cabout the research, the samples. Anything but him.

    ¡°Sierra?¡± one of my teammates calls gently. ¡°Are you okay? You¡¯ve been distracted ofte.¡±

    Before I can answer, a mocking voice cuts in.

    ¡°She¡¯s probably thinking about how she¡¯s going to use her connections to climb thedder once again.¡±

    And thatdies and gentlemen, is Jocelyn. My work nemesis. I¡¯m sure almost everyone has one of those.

    I re at her. ¡°I¡¯m not in the mood, Jocelyn.¡±

    ¡°Do I look like I give a damn?¡± she sneers, practically baring her teeth.

    ¡°Seriously, what¡¯s your problem?¡± Benjamin or Benji as we like to call him, asks, ¡°You¡¯re always picking on Sierra.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not picking on her. She¡¯s just weak and pathetic,¡± Jocelyn spits, clicking her tongue.

    God, I hate her stinking attitude. I never understood why but she¡¯s had it out for me since we were in Uni. I ignored her at first, but eventually, her relentless bitterness infected me too, I started hating her back.

    I thought I¡¯d be free of her after graduation. But fate had other ns. We were the top two students and ended up recruited by the samepany.

    ¡°Could you stop with the bitchy attitude?¡± I growl through clenched teeth. ¡°We¡¯ve got a deadline. Maybe focus on that instead of running your damn mouth.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I will,¡± she shrugs. ¡°But I can¡¯t wait for the day you fall from grace. I swear I¡¯ll throw a fucking party to

    celebrate it.¡±

    ¡°Sorry to disappoint you,¡± I mutter tly, ¡°but that day isn¡¯ting anytime soon.¡±

    She opens her mouth again, but Benji cuts her off.

    ¡°Sierra is our team lead. Show some respect,¡± he snaps.

    I almost tell him that I¡¯m used to it, that this. that this isn¡¯t anything new, and that it¡¯s just Jocelyn being

    her usual bitchy self, but I hold back. I¡¯m too nauseous, too tired and definitely not in the mood for a fight.

    Instead, I offer him a small, grateful smile.

    ¡°She only got the job because of who she knows,¡± Jocelyn mutters under her breath. ¡°That position

    should¡¯ve been mine.¡±

    Jocely had always been in a weirdpetition with me. She¡¯s convinced my connections to the Woods

    and Beckett names are why I got into uni. Why I got this job. Why I became team lead.

    Truth be told, Aunt Harper sponsored my studies, but I got into Uni because of my high scores.

    Aunt Ava, Aunt Harper, Uncle Rowan and Uncle Gabe would do anything for me if I asked. I know that,

    but I¡¯ve never taken advantage of their kindness. I am where I am because I worked for it, not because it

    was handed to me on a silver te.

    I tried to exin all this¨Ctried <i>to </i>show her I earned everything on my own. But she never listened and

    chose her delusions.

 Figured 554

    Eventually, I stopped trying. Let her believe whatever made her feel better about herself. I no longer cared.

    ¡°Jocely!¡± Benji growls, anger boiling in his voice.

    ¡°It¡¯s o¡­¡± I don¡¯t get to finish.

    My stomach drops. All of a sudden, the world tilts violently and then everything goes ck.

    ***

    The sharp scent of antiseptic brings me back. I open my eyes but then immediately close them again

    when the lights blind me.

    When I open them for the second time, slowly this time, I realize where I am.

    A hospital.

    I sit up too fast, and nausea ms into me like a freight train. I bolt toward the bathroom, barely making it in time before my stomach empties itself into the toilet. I heave again and again, body trembling, until

    there¡¯s nothing left.

    I copse against the cool tile, panting.

    What the hell is wrong with me? I¡¯ve had an upset stomach for a week. None of the home remedies have

    helped, not even my mother¡¯s tea. Hell, even the over¨Cthe¨Ccounter meds have done little to ease my upset

    stomach.

    Maybe it¡¯s food poisoning? I did tell Lilly the caf¨¦ we went tost week looked sketchy but she insisted,

    saying it was a hidden gem.

    I scoff. Some hidden gem it was. Now I¡¯m paying for trusting her blindly.

    ¡°Sierra?¡±

    Hearing Benji¡¯s voice, I open my eyes.

    ¡°In here,¡± I croak and then quickly flush the toilet.

    He steps into the doorway, brow furrowed in concern. ¡°What are you doing on the floor?¡±

    ¡°I just threw up and don¡¯t have the energy to get back up.¡±

    He smiles softly, then crouches to help me. ¡°Let me help you.¡±

    He lifts me like I weigh nothing and gently guides me back to the room.

    ¡°What happened? Are you the one that brought me here<b>?</b>¡± I ask.

    ¡°What¡¯s thest thing you remember?<b>¡± </b>

    I frown, trying to recall. ¡°Jocely stirring up shit¡±

    ¡°Well, you fainted and I brought you in.¡± He says gently. ¡°They ran some tests. We were just waiting for you to wake up.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Benji,¡± I tell him as he helps me settle back onto the bed. ¡°Not just for helping me out of the bathroom, but for bringing me here and staying.¡±

    He chuckles and then squeezes my hand. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, anything for you.¡±

    Now, before you all get the wrong idea and jump to conclusions, let me clear up something. Benji¡¯s just a good friend. I¡¯ve known since he joined my teamst year. Also¡­ He¡¯s gay. So don¡¯t start wondering why I¡¯m not interested in him.

    I take a shaky breath, still trying to calm my churning stomach.

    I¡¯m just about toy back on the bed when the door opens and a middle¨Caged man in a white coat walks <ol><li><b>in</b>. </li></ol>

    ¡°Hello, Sierra, I¡¯m Doctor Tom,¡± he says warmly. ¡°It¡¯s good to see you awake.¡±

    I manage a weak smile. ¡°Bet you say that to all your patients.¡±

    He and Benji chuckle. The room feels a little lighter.

    ¡°So I¡¯ve got your test results,¡± he says, his tone shifting

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± I ask, gnawing my lower lip. ¡°I knew I shouldn¡¯t have trusted Lilly with the whole hidden gem thing.¡±

    Heughs softly. ¡°Unless Lilly is a man, I can guarantee she¡¯s not responsible for this.¡±

    I pause, confused. My gaze flicks between him and Benji.

    ¡°What do you mean? Isn¡¯t it my stomach? Didn¡¯t my resultse back positive for food poisoning?¡±

    ¡°They dide back positive,¡± he says with a small smile. ¡°But not for food poisoning.¡±

    My heart starts racing. A cold fear slithers through my chest.

    ¡°Then¡­ what is it? What¡¯s wrong with me?¡± I whisper, terrified.

    He steps closer. ¡°Nothing serious. You¡¯repletely healthy.¡±

    I blink.

    <b>¡°</b><b>You </b>just have a bun cooking in your oven.¡±

 Figured 555

    Chapter <b>555 </b>

    Pregnant.

    That damn word keeps reying in my head like a bad orchestra at the start of a horror film.

    Why?

    Why now?

    I thought I was finally done with Noah. That I¡¯d never have to deal with or see him. That what happened a

    month ago was a one¨Ctime mistake I¡¯d never have to face again. So, what the hell is this now?

    Why me?

    ¡°Is there some kind of mistake?¡± I ask, my voice trembling, clinging to hope like a lifeline.

    Maybe they switched the samples, or they confused the reports. These kinds of things happen. Hospitals

    mix things up all the time, right? It has to be that. There¡¯s just no way I¡¯m pregnant with Noah freaking

    Woods¡® baby.

    The doctor flips through the report in his hands and looks at me gently. ¡°No mistake here¡­ You¡¯re

    pregnant, Sierra.¡±

    And just like that, whatever strength I had left seeps out of me. I sink back into the pillows, my body heavy, my vision unfocused.

    Everything around me blurs.

    My eyes stare nkly at a spot on Dr. Tom¡¯s chest, not really seeing anything. It¡¯s like everything disappears and the only thing that remains is the weight currently suffocating me to death.

    This is the worst possible news I could get right now.

    I know babies are supposed to be a blessing, but only when they¡¯re nned. When they¡¯re born into love. When you have them with someone who wants to build a life with you.

    Not like this.

    Not with him<b>. </b>

    Not with a man who can barely look at me without feeling disgust.

    This isn¡¯t a blessing. It¡¯s a disaster waiting to happen. Not only because the baby¡¯s father hates my guts, but also because I didn¡¯t n on having kids. At least not this soon.

    ¡°I was on the pill,¡± I whisper, my voice trembling. ¡°I¡¯ve been on it since I was a teenager because of my hormonal issues¨Cmy cycle¡¯s always been irregr.¡±

    It¡¯s never failed me before.

    So why now?

    Why this time? The one time I needed it to work, it betrayed me?

    Life really is a bitch. Or maybe¡­ maybe this is karma. Payback for sleeping with my dead friend¡¯s

    husband. Because honestly¨Cwhat the actual hell is this?

    ¡°I think I¡¯m gonna just, uh¡­ step out. Give you and the doc some space,¡± Benji says awkwardly<b>, </b>practically

    tripping over his own feet as he rushes for the door.

    I barely register him leaving. I¡¯m lost in my thoughts and the horror and cruelty of the situation I¡¯m

    currently in.

    This can¡¯t be happening.

    I repeat the words over and over again. Praying. Hoping that it¡¯s a twisted sick joke. Hoping that it¡¯s just a

    bad dream and I¡¯m going to wake up any second now.

    ¡°Sierra?¡±

    I look up at Doctor Tom¡¯s gentle voice. His expression is calm and kind. It only makes the ache worse.

    ¡°You okay<b>?</b>¡±

    I release a shaky sigh. ¡°No. How can I be? I¡¯ve been so careful. I don¡¯t miss my doses. I take them every day like clockwork. So, what went wrong?¡±

    ¡°You do know contraceptives aren¡¯t one hundred percent foolproof, right?¡± he says, his tone patient.

    I don¡¯t nod. Because honestly? Yes, I did know that, but I always believed that they¡¯d never fail. I trusted them too much. I relied on them <i>too </i>much. I thought if I did everything right, I¡¯d be safe.

    Apparently, I was wrong to assume things simply because I followed the instructions to the letter.

    ¡°Some medications can reduce their effectiveness,¡± he continues gently. ¡°Certain antibiotics, especially the stronger kinds, can interfere with the pill.¡±

    ¡°But I looked that up,¡± I say quickly, desperate for something to make this make sense. ¡°Everything I read said that was just a myth.¡±

    ¡°Technically, it is. Formon antibiotics, that¡¯s true. But there are exceptions. Moreplex antibiotics can absolutely disrupt birth control¨Clike rifamycin or rifampicin.¡±

    My stomach drops, and everything inside me tightens painfully.

    ¡°Given things, I¡¯m inclined to take a guess and say you were probably on either rifamycin or rifampicin.¡±

    ¡°Rifampicin,¡± I murmur.

    He raises an eyebrow. ¡°Tuberculosis?¡±

    I nod slowly. ¡°Yeah. I actually finished my six¨Cmonth treatment about a month ago.<i>¡± </i>

    Right before¡­ that night.

    I got TB during one of our research trips. The conditions were rough¨Ctent living, open exposure. It wasn¡¯t the cleanest environment, and none of my team got sick, so the doctors thought I might¡¯ve caught it from

    one of the locals.

    The minute I was diagnosed, I was ced in istion until I was well enough to be moved and they were sure it was under control and I couldn¡¯t transmit it to any of my team members.

    I spent weeks alone, scared and coughing up my lungs, wondering if I¡¯d even make it home. There were days I thought I¡¯d die in that hospital bed, far from everyone I loved

    But I survived. I made it back. And now this?

    ¡°With medications like rifampicin, additional contraceptives are usually rmended,<i>¡± </i>Dr. Tom

    exins softly. ¡°Without them, the birth control pill¡¯s effectiveness drops drastically. That¡¯s likely what

    happened.¡±

    Of course.

    Another thing I didn¡¯t know.

    Another curveball I couldn¡¯t have prepared for.

    I couldn¡¯t have used backup protection¨CI wasn¡¯t even nning to sleep with anyone. I sure as hell didn¡¯t

    expect Noah.

    It¡¯s wild how a series of random, unfortunate events led to this moment.

    Pregnant.

    Dr. Tom watches me carefully. ¡°From your reaction, I¡¯m guessing this wasn¡¯t nned. That being said, I want you to know<i>¡­ </i>you have options<b>.</b>¡±

    My breath stills<b>. </b>

    ¡°I¡¯m personally pro¨Clife,¡± he adds, ¡°but I also believe in informed choices. You¡¯re still in the early stages of the pregnancy. If this isn¡¯t something you want¡­ it can be taken care of.¡±

    He doesn¡¯t need to spell it out. The offer sits between us, heavy and undeniable.

    A way out.

    I could end it before anyone finds out. No one would ever have to know<b>¨C</b>not even Noah. Benji might be

    aware, but I could swear him to secrecy.

    Just like that, it would all go away. The shame, the consequences, the fear.

    No questions. No raised eyebrows. No child to raise alone.

    My eyes drift down to myp.

    I stare at my hands like they hold the answer.

    It would be so easy. Just one appointment. No more worries. No more reminders. It would solve

    everything.

    But is that really what I want?

    Would I ever forgive myself?

    ¡°Take your time,¡± Dr. Tom says quietly. ¡°You don¡¯t have to decide anything today.<b>¡± </b>

    I nod, slowly. ¡°O¨Cokay.¡±

    baby-

 Figured 556

    The questions won¡¯t stop. They keep buzzing in my head one after the other as I prepare to leave the

    hospital.

    Should I keep the baby? Should I get rid of it?

    No one would know, yes, but I would. And the guilt? The guilt of ending a life that¡¯s half me would eat me alive. This isn¡¯t just about Noah. This baby is mine too.

    I puff the pillow a little too hard as frustration builds up inside me. It fills me, tying me in knots that are

    hard to escape.

    I¡¯m one of those people who has to leave everything neat and tidy once I¡¯m done with a space. It doesn¡¯t matter that someone else is paid to clean it. I can¡¯t help myself. I have to smooth the sheets, fold the nket, fix the pillows. I just can¡¯t leave things untidy.

    ¡°What did the pillow do to you?¡± Benji¡¯s voice startles me, making my heart leap to my throat.

    I¡¯ve been so lost in my thoughts that I didn¡¯t even hear hime in.

    ¡°Nothing,¡± I whisper, voice breaking as I copse back onto the bed.

    Fuck! What am I going to do? What should I do?

    ¡°You don¡¯t seem okay,¡± Benji notes as he sits beside me.

    No shit, sherlock.

    ¡°That¡¯s because I am not,¡± I answer tly, too tired to pretend.

    ¡°Are you upset about your results?¡±

    I blink at him.

    I like Benji. I really do. But what is it with men and asking the most obvious questions at the worst possible times? Of course I¡¯m upset. Of course that¡¯s what this is about.

    The sharp reply sits on the edge of my tongue, but I bite it back. It¡¯s not his fault. None of this is.

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to call it that,¡± I say softly. ¡°You can just say it. Pregnancy.¡±

    He shifts awkwardly. ¡°Right¡­ are you upset about your pregnancy?¡±

    <b>¡°</b>I am.¡±

    He nods slowly, not quite knowing what to do with that. I don¡¯t me him. What do you say to someone whose entire world just tilted off its axis?

    We sit in silence, each of us wrapped in our own tangled thoughts. It¡¯s not ufortable¨Cjust heavy.

    ¡°Benji?¡± I murmur.

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°Could you keep this to yourself? At least for now?¡± I ask, my voice small and tired.

    Not that Benji is a bbermouth, but thest thing I need is for people at work to know before I can decide what to do with the baby. I need time. Time to figure this out before the world starts asking

    questions I don¡¯t have answers to.

    ¡°No problem,¡± he says, squeezing my hand. ¡°I got you. You ready to go home?¡±

    ¡°Yes, but¡­ my car¡¯s at work.¡±

    He stands up. ¡°No worries. I¡¯ll drop you off at your ce, and you can catch an Uber in the morning. If you¡¯reing to work, that is.¡±

    Honestly, work is the furthest thing from my mind. Maybe I¡¯ll call in sick tomorrow. Maybe I¡¯ll disappear

    for a while. I just need time to think this through before making a decision.

    ¡°Okay. I¡¯ll meet you at the front after I settle the bill.¡±

    He nods and heads out, leaving me alone with the silence again.

    Benji had the sense to grab my backpack before rushing me here, so I sling it over my shoulder, take one

    I make my way to the nurse¡¯s station in a haze. Sign papers. Pay. Take my receipt. The whole thing feels

    like it¡¯s happening to someone else. I¡¯m just floating through it.

    Have you ever felt that way? Like nothing around you feels real? Like you are in a sort of dream. You¡¯re

    awake, but not really awake. That¡¯s how I¡¯m currently feeling. Like nothing is real and everything is just

    empty.

    I only realize I¡¯m outside when a car honk jolts me out of my fog.

    Walking briskly, nearly tripping, I make it to Benji¡¯s car and slide into the passenger seat.

    As if understanding that I need my space, Benji leaves me alone and doesn¡¯t talk the whole trip. He already knows the way to my ce from past drop¨Coffs, so I don¡¯t need to direct him

    ¡°We¡¯re here,¡± he says gently.

    I look up and <i>to </i>my surprise, we¡¯re parked outside my house.

    ¡°Thank you, Benji.¡± I reach for the door handle. ¡°I owe you one.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t mention it.¡±

    I step out, waving as he drives off, then turn to face the house.

    ckie is waiting at the door, meowing loudly the moment I open it. Normally, her little greetings soothe

    me, but not today. Today, her soft cries do nothing to ease the chaos raging inside me.

    I sink onto the couch, eyes sweeping over my living room.

    This used to be my ce of peace. My little sanctuary. But now it feels foreign as panic begins to set in.

    Then the scene begins to shift in my head.

    A crib in the corner. A baby nket tossed over the arm of the couch. Toys on the rug. A ypen near the

    window. Ites to life in vivid, terrifying detail.

    It¡¯s too much. It¡¯s all overwhelming.

    The tearse fast and hot, spilling down my cheeks before I can stop them. I swipe at them, frustrated,

    and reach for my phone. My hands tremble as I type in a number I know by heart.

    ¡°Please tell me you¡¯re calling to help you choose what dress to wear for that date,¡± Lilly says as soon as she picks up.

    ¡°No,¡± I whisper, barely holding myself together. ¡°I¡¯m calling to cancel.¡±

    She groans. ¡°Siiiiii, this is the fifth date you¡¯ve canceled!¡±

    Since the night with Noah, Lilly has made it her mission to set me up with the most eligible bachelors

    she can find. Her strategy? Distract and rece.

    As sweet as it is, I¡¯m not interested in dating anyone. Not now, maybe not ever.

    ¡°Something came up,¡± I say.

    ¡°That¡¯s your excuse every time,¡± she sighs.

    ¡°This time I¡¯m not lying.¡±

    She gasps. ¡°So, you were lying before?!¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not the point-¡±

    ¡°<b>It </b>is the point,¡± she insists. ¡°I¡¯ve been setting you up with the cr¨¨me de cr¨¨me of the business world

    and you¡¯ve turned them all down!¡±

    To Lilly, the perfect man is kind, respectful, wildly sessful andpletely loaded. She thinks I deserve the world¨Cand in her mind, that starts with a man who can give it to me.

    ¡°Can youe over after work?¡± I ask, voice cracking under the weight of what I¡¯m about to tell her.

    She pauses. ¡°Are you okay<b>?</b><b>¡± </b>

    ¡°I just need you, Lilly.¡±

    No more questions. No more jokes.

    ¡°On my way<i>,</i>¡± she says, then hangs up without another word.

    I lower the phone slowly, staring at the screen. And despite everything, despite the storm raging inside <ol><li>me. I smile. </li></ol>

    Because that¡¯s the thing about my best friend. She shows up. No questions asked. And I¡¯d do the same for

    her.

    X

 Figured 557

    Those minutes I sit there waiting for her feel like the longest of my life. I don¡¯t move, but I can¡¯t stop fidgeting, picking at my nails, shifting in my seat, heart thudding in my ears.

    When I finally hear the roar of her engine, I spring to my feet, startling ckie, and rush to the door. <b>I </b>

    fling it open just in time to see her stepping out of her silver Porsche.

    Lilly has always loved cars. Her garage is a shrine to that love, sleek and loud and fast. Just like her.

    The moment she reaches the door, I throw myself into her arms. I don¡¯t even think; I just cling to her like she¡¯s the only thing keeping me from shattering.

    The tears I¡¯d been holding back. Fighting. Flow out of me in torrents. It¡¯s like a broken dam and no matter how I try, I can¡¯t push them back anymore.

    It all spills out. Everything.

    My chest heaves. My sobs are broken; feral sounds tear out of me, ripping me into pieces in the process. My chest feels like it¡¯s in a vise, making it hard to breathe. My heart feels like it¡¯s cracked wide open, the raw bloody flesh fighting to keep me alive.

    She holds me without a word, gently rubbing circles into my back. ¡°Let it all out,<i>¡± </i>she whispers, her voice trembling too.

    At some point, she guides me inside. I barely register the soft couch under me or the way she tucks me into herp like she used to when we were kids. All I can do is cry until my sobs finally settle into hups. I still don¡¯t feel okay¨Cbut at least I can breathe again.

    ¡°Now<i>,</i><i>¡± </i>she says softly, brushing a strand of hair from my face, ¡°tell me what¡¯s going on.¡±

    There¡¯s no easy way to say it, so I just rip it off like a bandage.

    ¡°I¡¯m pregnant.¡±

    Silence¡­ And then,

    ¡°What?!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m pregnant, Lilly<i>,</i>¡± I repeat, eyes fixed on the coffee table. I can¡¯t bring myself to meet hers.

    She stares at me like I just told her the sky fell. Her mouth opens, then closes. She blinks hard, trying to make sense of what she¡¯s hearing.

    ¡°But¡­ how? You weren¡¯t seeing anyone,¡± she stammers. ¡°How can you be pregnant? Who¡¯s the father?¡±

    I avoid her burning stare, feeling like a teenager who just told her mom she¡¯s pregnant.

    Her questions sting like salt in a wound. I look down, fumbling with my fingers. My silence says it all.

    ¡°Fuck. Sierra¡­ tell me it¡¯s not him.¡±

    I wish I could.

    She watches me for a beat, then whispers, like saying it aloud will make it real, ¡°Noah?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± I mumble, feeling embarrassed.

    She stands abruptly, pacing the room with her hand in her hair. I sink deeper into the couch, exhausted

    now that the secret¡¯s out.

    ¡°Have you told him?¡± she asks suddenly.

    ¡°I just found out.¡±

    ¡°Jesus,¡± she mutters. ¡°I had a feeling that day you called me, but I ignored it. I thought¡­ there¡¯s no way you two would go there.¡±

    Yeah. So did I.

    Maybe if we hadn¡¯t been high off our asses, we wouldn¡¯t have, but shit happens.

    ¡°I swear this is the literal definition of ¡®fuck around and find out,¡± she mumbles under her breath.

    I ignore that.

    ¡°What am I going to do, Lilly?¡± I whisper.

    She sighs, then sits down beside me again, pulling me into another hug.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay. I was just shocked,<i>¡± </i>she says, her voice gentler now. ¡°Let¡¯s take a deep breath and think. First things first¨Cyou need <i>to </i>tell him.¡±

    My entire body recoils. Every cell in my body fights against that idea.

    ¡°Absolutely not,¡± I say, too loudly.

    Panic surges through me. Thest thing I want is for him to find out. Hell, telling Noah never even

    crossed my mind. I just couldn¡¯t.

    ¡°Then what are you going to do?¡± she presses.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know<i>,</i><i>¡± </i>I admit. ¡°Move cities? Or countries. He doesn¡¯t have to know. He never has to know.¡±

    And just like that, the moment the words leave my mouth, something shifts inside me. All the swirling thoughts stop. I know, in that moment, I¡¯m keeping the baby. The idea of leaving makes more sense than anything else has in the past few hours.

    Ch

 Figured 558

    apter 558

    Lilly had to rewire everything she believed. She loved the man who raised her, but the betrayal of not knowing the truth¨Cit left scars.

    ¡°And you,¡± she continues. ¡°You¡¯ve always wanted to know who your father is. Hasn¡¯t that haunted you your whole life?¡±

    I frown as her words sink in. It¡¯s always been me, my mom and grandma. No matter how many times I cried and begged, my mother never gave a name or a clue who my father is.

    I¡¯ve had great father figures in my life. Uncle Gabe and Uncle Rowan¡­ but still, I always wanted to know who my biological father is. I always wondered why he wasn¡¯t in my life.

    ¡°Think about it,<i>¡± </i>she says. ¡°Do you want to do the same thing to your child?¡±

    That questionnds heavy on my chest.

    I get her point, but still¡­

    ¡°What if he doesn¡¯t want anything to do with the baby?¡± I ask, my voice barely a breath.

    ¡°Then that¡¯s his choice,<i>¡± </i>she answers. ¡°This baby will have all the love in the world, and a big family that adores him or her, whether Noah wants to be in their live or not.¡±

    I close my eyes and take a shaky breath. ¡°Okay.¡±

    I¡¯m not sure what I¡¯m agreeing to exactly, just that she¡¯s right. I can¡¯t keep this hidden forever. Noah deserves to know¡­ even if he walks away afterward.

    But deep down, I know this won¡¯t end well. And when it alles out, I have a feeling he¡¯s going to go nuclear.

    X

    Chapter <b>559 </b>

 Figured 559

    I stare up at the imposing building before me, and my heart drops to the bottom of my feet. It¡¯s pounding so hard, and I¡¯m so anxious I can barely breathe.

    I honestly don¡¯t think I¡¯ve ever been this nervous. I¡¯ve always carried myself with a quiet kind of confidence, a slow¨Cburning certainty that whatever came my way, I¡¯d find a way through. But today? That confidence is nowhere to be found. In its ce is a jittery, panicked energy that¡¯s bouncing inside me and wreaking all kinds of havoc.

    Sweat pools in my palms, and I wipe them against my jeans before lifting my eyes again to the sleek

    silver sign that reads:

    WOOD CORPORATION.

    I¡¯ve been here countless times over the years, but most of them were to Lilly¡¯s office.

    It¡¯s amazing how Uncle Gabe and Uncle Rowan have managed to push their familypany to greater heights. They¡¯ve expanded it in ways that the business world wasn¡¯t prepared for and now, it¡¯s one of the top fortune five hundredpanies.

    Even though they¡¯re just in theirte forties, they¡¯re still nning to retire, leaving thepany in the

    capable hands of their children. Noah will take over as the CEO and Lilly will be the vice CEO.

    And that¡¯s why I¡¯m here. Not for Lilly. For Noah.

    The thought alone makes me tremble. My fear isyered¨Cfear of telling him, fear of facing him, and fear

    of his reaction. It¡¯s all rooted so deep inside me that it¡¯s clouding every other feeling.

    Someone bumps into me, snapping me out of my daze. I probably look crazy, just standing here frozen on

    the sidewalk.

    I take a deep breath, square my shoulders, and push through the revolving doors.

    The one good thing about knowing the soon¨Cto¨Cbe vice CEO and her entire family is that I can get in without a problem. No questions asked.

    ¡°Here to see your best friend?¡± Morris, one of the longtime security guards, greets me warmly.

    <i>¡°</i><i>Y</i>¨Cyeah,¡± I lie with a shaky smile, silently praying he doesn¡¯t notice how petrified I am.

    ¡°Well, go right in,¡± he says with a grin, the overhead lights catching the shine on his bald head. ¡°The big bosses said to swing by their offices next time you¡¯re around. They say it¡¯s not fair you only visit Madam Boss.¡±

    I offer a small, genuine smile.

    Uncle Gabe and Uncle Rowan really are amazing. Growing up, they used to bring Lilly and Iris (Noah¡¯s

    sister) around the office, and I¡¯d tag along. Even though Iris was younger, the three of us always managed to wreak havoc.

    That didn¡¯t stop in high school or college. Lilly and I would drop by after school, hang out with them, then

    go on our way.

    These days, I pop in now and then for lunch with Lilly¨Cbut I rarely catch the uncles around anymore.

    ¡°I will,¡± I promise. ¡°Are they in today?¡±

    ¡°No, but they¡¯re expectedter. There¡¯s a board meeting.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Morris,¡± I mumble.

    ¡°Anytime, dear.¡±

    I nod and head to the elevators. That small conversation gave me a small reprieve from my worries, but only for a little while.

    Once inside, I press the button for the executive floor, fumbling in the process.

    The higher the elevator climbs, the more tightly wound I be. I shove my trembling hands into my pockets, trying to contain the panic.

    Faster than I would¡¯ve wanted, the elevator dings and the doors slide open. I hesitate as I grapple with my fear. I stand frozen, debating whether I should just turn back, like the coward I am.

    But just as the doors begin to close, I jump out.

    The quicker I get this over and done with, the fucking better.

    I walk, dragging my feet. It¡¯s a battle, as every instinct urges me to turn around and run. To leave and never look back. But I don¡¯t. I made this decision, and once I make a decision, I stick to it.

    I reach the secretary¡¯s desk.

    ¡°Good morning, I¡¯m Mary. How may I-¡± she begins, then stops mid¨Csentence when she sees me. Her expression flickers with surprise, then confusion.

    ¡°Sierra,¡± she says slowly, her voice uncertain. ¡°H¨Chow are you?¡­ How can I¡­ Are you okay, dear?¡±

    Chapter <b>560 </b>

 Figured 560

    Chapter <b>560 </b>

    Mary is in herte forties and nothing like the stereotype of cold, snippy secretaries. All the executive assistants here are warm, thanks to a rule Uncle Rowan implemented after a former secretary went rogue and nearly killed Aunt Ava.

    I don¡¯t remember how long Aunt Ava was in aa, but I remember Noah stoppeding to school during that period. Because of how extensive her injuries were, they had to cut Iris out of her at only six

    months. So while Aunt Ava was in aa, Iris was in NICU.

    Aunt Ava pulled through, but she woke up with amnesia. When she finally regained her memory, that same secretary tried to kill her again.

    ¡°Is Noah in?¡± I ask, my voice barely a whisper¨Cas though just saying his name is taboo.

    Mary¡¯s eyes widen. ¡°You want to see Noah?¡±

    I don¡¯t me her for being shocked. After all, I don¡¯t think there is a single person in this world who doesn¡¯t know that Noah and I don¡¯t get along

    <b>¡°</b>Yes.¡±

    ¡°Umm¡­ I can book you in,<i>¡± </i>she says, fumbling with herputer. ¡°What¡¯s this about?¡±

    ¡°Just tell him I¡¯m here to see him.¡±

    She nods slowly. ¡°Okay¡­ take a seat, then.¡±

    I offer her a tense smile and sit down. My legs bounce restlessly, and I tuck my hands under my thighs to

    keep from biting my nails. Everything inside me is vibrating as if about to burst and for the hundredth

    time I think of how easy it would be to just disappear with the baby and not tell him anything.

    Lilly had hyped me up so muchst night. She stayed over, talking with me, holding me while I cried, telling me everything was going to be okay. In that moment, with her beside me, I believed it. I believed I

    could handle this shitstorm.

    I didn¡¯t sleep a wink. When she left at six, I was still wide awake, still panicking, still envisioning every possible way this could go wrong.

    She left me little notes, all full of encouragement. I¡¯d felt strong this morning. Brave, even. But the

    moment I arrived here¡­ all that strength crumbled.

    ¡°He¡¯s busy,¡± Mary says, snapping me from my thoughts. ¡°Just give him a little time to finish up with some paperwork.¡±

    She¡¯s lying.

    I can see it in her eyes, in the wince on her face. He¡¯s not busy. He just doesn¡¯t want to see me.

    Still, I nod, choosing to give him time, all the while anxiety is eating me from the inside out. It feels like I¡¯m drowning. Like I¡¯m fighting for my next breath.

    Time drags on. An hour passes.

    ¡°Not yet?¡±

    She looks up and gives me a sympathetic stare.

    Mary pages him again. Momentster, her desk phone rings. I watch her expression tighten, her eyes sh with something like anger.

    ¡°Okay, boss.¡± She hangs up and turns toward me, mouth opening to speak.

    But I don¡¯t give her the chance. I just know that she¡¯s about to lie to me again. So, with that, I make a split-

    second decision.

    I stand up, march past her desk, and push open Noah¡¯s office door.

    ¡°What the fuck?¡± he barks, rising from behind his desk.

    If I didn¡¯t have suchplicated feelings for him, I¡¯d admit he looks infuriatingly good. The suit clings to him perfectly, his sharp jaw and piercing grey eyes only adding to the image. God did really take his time creating him.

    Too bad he¡¯s aplete asshole.

    I shut the door and lock it just as Mary¡¯s heels click frantically behind me.

    ¡°What the hell are you doing here?¡± His tone is venomous.

    ¡°I need to talk to you.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t give a damn what you have to say. Didn¡¯t I tell you I never want to see your face again?¡±

    Okay, that stings. Actually no, it fucking hurts.

    ¡°It¡¯s important,¡± I say, trying not to flinch under his fury.

    ¡°And I said I don¡¯t give a flying shit!¡±

    God, he has such a foul mouth.

    ¡°Listen-¡±

    He steps forward, eyes zing. ¡°If you don¡¯t walk out of my office right now, I swear-

    <b>¡°</b>I¡¯M PREGNANT!<b>¡± </b>I shout,

    Silence.

 Figured 561

    tare at Noah, my heart pounding so hard it¡¯s a miracle my ribs don¡¯t crack under the pressure.

    He stares right back, unblinking, unmoving, his face pale, disbelief flickering across his eyes. Confusion clouds his features, as if he just can¡¯t make sense of the words that came out of my mouth.

    ¡°Come again,¡± he says, this time quieter. His voice isn¡¯t as hard. Just uncertain.

    I draw in a shaky breath. ¡°I¡¯m pregnant.¡±

    The words fall out in a whisper, so soft yet so loud between us. My gaze stays locked on him, searching for any flicker of emotion or reaction. Anything that might tell me what he¡¯s thinking or how he¡¯s going

    to react.

    His confusion vanishes in an instant, reced by something far colder. Looking into his eyes is like watching a storm rage over the sea. Dark and dangerous.

    ¡°Is this some kind of joke?¡± he growls. His features harden, eyes narrowing into sharp slits.

    Is he being serious right now?

    ¡°Do you honestly think I¡¯d waste my timeing here for some sick joke?¡± I snap, my frustration spilling over. ¡°Do you think I¡¯m doing this for fun? Trust me, Noah, I¡¯d rather be anywhere but here dealing with

    your arrogant ass.¡±

    Fear still clings to me, but beneath it, something stronger begins to stir. Maybe it¡¯s defiance. Maybe courage. Or maybe it¡¯s just that I¡¯m already here, already facing him, and so far I¡¯m still breathing.

    ¡°So, what if you are pregnant?¡± he sneers, his voice curling like smoke around a me. ¡°What the hell does that have to do with me?¡±

    Did he really just ask that? Does he really think I¡¯d be here if he wasn¡¯t involved in this? Hell, I didn¡¯t even want toe. I didn¡¯t want him <i>to </i>know. If it weren¡¯t for Lilly and the respect I have for his parents, I

    wouldn¡¯t have told him anything.

    ¡°Are you being serious right now<i>?¡± </i>

    ¡°What are you doing here, Sierra?¡± he asks again, his voice tighter.

    I close my eyes and ball my fists. Frustration boils in every single part of my body and I have this overwhelming need to yell at him, but I hold back. It¡¯s obvious why I am here. Why is he finding it difficult to put together the pieces? Or maybe he just doesn¡¯t want to.

    ¡°Haven¡¯t we already established that? I¡¯m here to let you know that I¡¯m pregnant.¡±

    He scoffs. ¡°I still don¡¯t see how you being pregnant has anything to do with-¡±

    ¡°It has everything to do with you,¡± I cut him off, throwing my hands in the air. ¡°Because the baby is yours, Noah. You knocked me up!¡±

    The wordsnd heavily between us.

    For a moment, he just¡­ blinks. And then I see it. The way he staggers back like I just hurled a brick into his chest. His face twists into something worse than anger.

    My heart clenches as I continue to watch his reaction. The horror in his eyes tells me everything I need to know. He¡¯s not just horrified; he¡¯s downright disgusted.

    ¡°That¡¯s not true,¡± he spits, his voice sharp with denial. ¡°That¡¯s not fucking true.¡±

    ¡°It is.¡±

    He just stands there, frozen. I can almost see the wheels turning in his mind, grasping for excuses, reaching for anything that¡¯ll make this not real. Anything he can use to get out of this.

    I knew this would happen, but deep down I still hoped that somewhere beneath it all, there might be

    some sliver of decency. A part of him that would care.

    Then he says it. The one thing I prayed he wouldn¡¯t.

    ¡°It can¡¯t be mine.¡± His voice is a snarl now, low and vicious. ¡°For all I know, you¡¯re trying to pin that

    bastard on me. Who knows how many men you¡¯ve seduced?¡±

    I reel and my knees buckle. His words m into me like a sledgehammer to the chest. Why does it feel like knives are making tiny little cuts on my chest and heart? Why does it feel like I¡¯m bleeding all over

    again?

    My fist connects with his face before I can stop myself. Pain shoots through my knuckles, but it¡¯s nothingpared to the ache in my soul. The one his words just inflicted.

    Heavens, I hope you guys don¡¯t think I¡¯m a violent person. I¡¯m not¡­ but Noah has a way of bringing that ugly version of me out in the open.

    ¡°I warned you never to call me a whore,¡± I hiss, blinking back tears. ¡°But you just had to run that filthy mouth, didn¡¯t you?¡±

    X

 Figured 562

    I re at him. ¡°Who the fuck do you think you are, Noah?¡±

    He grinds his teeth, his jaw clenched so tight I swear it¡¯s going to snap. His eyes ze with something violent, something dangerous. If looks could kill, I¡¯d be dead ten times over.

    ¡°You know what?¡± I add bitterly, ¡°at this point I¡¯d prefer if the baby belonged <i>to </i>anyone but you.¡±

    He doesn¡¯t flinch, not that I expected anything like that from him. I think I stopped expecting anything

    from him long ago.

    ¡°I don¡¯t care what you say. That baby isn¡¯t mine,¡± he bites out, after what feels like an eternity. ¡°I used a

    condom.¡±

    ¡°Did you?¡± I ask quietly.

    ¡°I fucking did! I would¡¯ve remembered if I¡¯d taken you raw!¡± he roars, and for a moment I think he¡¯s going

    to literally explode.

    ¡°Could you keep your voice down?¡± I snap, ncing toward the door. ¡°Last thing I want is for anyone to

    know I slept with the biggest asshole on earth.¡±

    He scoffs.

    ¡°And you think I¡¯m thrilled that I slept with you?¡± His voice drips with disdain. ¡°Besides, the office is

    soundproof. No one¡¯s hearing a thing.¡±

    I grit my teeth and let out a shaky breath. ¡°You can have a DNA test when the baby¡¯s born, but I promise

    you, this baby is yours.¡±

    I don¡¯t even see iting. One second, he¡¯s standing in front of me, and the next, he¡¯s punching the wall

    behind me with so much force I feel the splintering crack in my bones.

    ¡°Get out!¡± he roars, his voice like thunder.

    He turns, eyes zing and takes a step toward me.

    I freeze. The look in his eyes¨Cit¡¯s not the man I once loved. It¡¯s not even someone I recognize.

    There¡¯s a wildness in his eyes I¡¯ve never seen before. Something untamed. Something dark and terrifying.

    Noah has never hit a woman. But this is me we¡¯re talking about. And there were times, if I¡¯m honest, when I thought he might actually want me gone for good.

    I step back, heart in my throat, as fear for me and my baby takes root. My fight¨Cor¨Cflight response kicks in as he continues advancing on me.

    ¡°Get the fuck out,¡± he growls again, every word dripping with fury, ¡°before I do something I¡¯ll regret.¡±

    I don¡¯t need to be told twice. My hand finds the door handle, and I bolt out of there as fast as my legs will

    carry me.

    I hear Mary¡¯s voice calling after me, but everything¡¯s drowned out by the thunder of my heartbeat. By the fear still clinging to me like the smell of smoke on clothes.

    Everything¡¯s a blur. The elevator. The lobby. The street. I don¡¯t see anything. I don¡¯t hear anything. I might as well have looked the devil in the eye and lived to tell the tale, because whatever version of Noah I just faced in that office, it wasn¡¯t human.

    When I finallye to, I¡¯m sitting on a park bench. I think I walked here, though I don¡¯t remember.

    The breeze is soft. The sounds of childrenughing, dogs barking, and birds chirping. It all feels surreal. Like I¡¯ve slipped into someone else¡¯s life. One that isn¡¯tplete chaos.

    I scan the green space. Watch the kids with their balloons. The babies in their strollers. I close my eyes and inhale deeply, letting the normalcy wrap around me like a nket.

    I knew Noah wouldn¡¯t take it well. But knowing something and living through it are two very different things.

    He looked like he wanted to destroy something. Or someone¡­ Me.

    But I¡¯m here. I¡¯m safe.

    And I did it. I told him.

    I take a breath. My hands aren¡¯t shaking anymore. The tightness in my chest is loosening bit by bit. The worries that had been choking me since yesterdaypletely disappear.

    I ce a hand on my belly and exhale slowly.

    ¡°I promise,¡± I whisper, ¡°You will never feel unwanted.¡±

    Something unfurls from within as that promise settles inside me and my love for my baby begins to bloom. I will give my baby every drop of love I have. I will make a home for us just like my mom did for me and we will be happy, with or without Noah.

 Figured 563

    Chapter <b>563 </b>

    Noah.

    I¡¯m drowning. Drowning under the weight of what Sierra just revealed.

    I see her, see the way she takes slow, unsteady steps backward. I see the fear in her eyes, wide and shimmering. I can almost feel it. Taste it. It thickens the air between us, pressing in on my chest and wing at my lungs.

    Her fear is suffocating, but so is my fury.

    The two collide, and the result is a red haze that clouds my thinking.

    Sierra backs away, one trembling hand reaching for the doorknob. She opens it, eyes wide open as if she¡¯s just seen the devil, and then she flees.

    I hear everything.

    The hurried p of her retreating footsteps. The soft, final click of the door closing behind her. And then, nothing¡­ Just the echo of what I did. Of what we did.

    I don¡¯t remember standing. I don¡¯t remember moving. But something crashes violently against the ss wall of my office.

    It shatters just like everything inside me.

    I barely feel it. The sting in my knuckles. The burn in my chest. The hollow echo of her words.

    ¡°I¡¯m pregnant. The baby is yours.¡±

    Those two words keep ricocheting in my skull like bullets. Over and over again. Loud, piercing and

    unforgiving.

    I let out a strangled scream, the kind that rips from your throat like a wound. My fists find another target, the edge of my desk. I strike it again and again until the wood cracks and the bones in my hand scream

    in protest.

    I don¡¯t care.

    All I can think about is how I fucked up. How I betrayed Chloe.

    I loved my wife. I still fucking love her, so how could I betray her? how could I betray her memory? I didn¡¯t just slip¨CI dove headfirst into this shitstorm.

    I thought ending up in bed with Sierra was bad, but no, that¡¯s not even the worst of it.

    Her pregnancy<b>? </b>It feels like the end of the fucking world.

    I stumble back, knocking over the chair. It tters loudly to the floor, but it barely registers. My breath ising in fast<b>, </b>shallow gasps. I can¡¯t get enough air. My chest feels like it¡¯s caving in. Like someone took a match to everything I¡¯d buried, and now I¡¯m standing in the middle of a goddamn wildfire.

    A baby¡­ With Sierra.

    God. What have I done?

    The guilt of sleeping with Sierra has been suffocating me, but the consequence of that night has all but

    killed me and sent me straight to hell.

    The door bursts open and a voice cuts through the haze.

    <b>¡°</b>Noah!¡±

    Lilly.

    She stops just inside the room, eyes wide as she surveys the wreckage¨Cshattered ss, overturned furniture, blood dripping from my knuckles.

    Her face pales. ¡°What the hell happened?¡±

    I sink into what¡¯s left of the chair, my head dropping into my hands. ¡°She¡¯s pregnant,¡± I mutter.

    There¡¯s a pause. A very long one.

    Then, a whisper. ¡°Sierra?¡±

    I don¡¯t answer, but I notice she doesn¡¯t look surprised.

    ¡°You knew<i>,</i>¡± I mutter.

    ¡°Of course, we are best friends,¡± she replies. ¡°She told me yesterday after she found out.¡±

    ¡°And

    you didn¡¯t think to tell me or give me a heads up?¡± I growl, feeling anger bubbling inside me.

    ¡°First of all, don¡¯t you ever use that tone with me, Noah Wood,¡± she snaps at me. ¡°And second, it wasn¡¯t my ce to say anything. This is between the two of you.¡±

    Fuck it! I¡¯m pissed but if I¡¯m being honest, I¡¯m not angry at her; I¡¯m more angry with myself for fucking things up

    Lilly¡¯s expression hardens. Her arms cross over her chest. ¡°And what did you say to her?¡±

    I can¡¯t look at her. She knows very well this couldn¡¯t have ended in rainbows, so why the hell was she asking?

    <b>¡°</b>You didn¡¯t<b>, </b>Noah. Tell me you didn¡¯t say something cruel.¡±

    ¡°I told her to leave,¡± I say hollowly. ¡°Told her it wasn¡¯t mine.¡±

    ¡°You slept with her,¡± Lilly snaps, her voiceced with disbelief and fury. ¡°And now you¡¯re acting like she¡¯s the viin? What the hell is wrong with you?¡±

    ¡°She knew what she was doing!¡± I yell, leaping to my feet again. ¡°She¡¯s always been obsessed. Always hovering, always looking at me like I¡¯m her damn savior or something. And now this?¡±

    Lilly flinches but stands her ground. ¡°She didn¡¯t even want to tell you. I had to push her. She was terrified, Noah.¡±

    I pace like a caged animal, dragging a hand through my hair. ¡°I made a mistake. I was drunk. Grieving. She saw an opening and she took it.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s bullshit and you know it,¡± Lilly hisses. ¡°You keep trying to rewrite it so you can live with yourself, but it happened. You slept with her. And now there¡¯s a baby. That¡¯s on both of you.¡±

    I stop pacing. The storm in my chest brews deeper. The chaos drawing near, drowning me and wrecking everything in its path.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to see her,¡± I say, grabbing my coat. ¡°I need to make it clear¡­ Send me her address.¡±

 Figured 564

    <b>¡°</b>I swear if you hurt her, Noah, I¡¯ll-¡±

    I don¡¯t let her finish her threat; the urgency to fix this mess rides me hard. It almost feels like if I don¡¯t fix this, then I won¡¯t find rest. Chloe will turn in her grave and haunt me.

    ***

    The whole ride is a blur, and now here I am standing outside her door.

    I take deep breaths and when I feel more in control, I ring the bell. Secondster she opens the door, arms crossed, face unreadable.

    Her eyes drop to my bruised, bleeding knuckles but she doesn¡¯t ask. Doesn¡¯t invite me in either.

    ¡°I need to talk to you,¡± I say sharply.

    ¡°I don¡¯t have anything to say to you,<i>¡± </i>she replies coolly.

    She doesn¡¯t seem like she ns to move so I force my way in.

    A jerk move, but we can all agree that I¡¯m not and will never be a gentleman when ites to Sierra. Besides, I don¡¯t n on having this conversation on her doorstep where somoene or worse, the paparazzi, can hear.

    ¡°Well,e on in<i>,¡± </i>she says sarcastically.

    I force myself not to snap and focus on why I¡¯m here. ¡°I don¡¯t want anything to do with this.¡±

    Her jaw tightens. ¡°Excuse me?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t want this baby.¡±

    There it is. No sugar¨Ccoating. Just the harsh truth.

    She stiffens, but she doesn¡¯t speak.

    ¡°I¡¯m not going to be some deadbeat dad showing up out of guilt,¡± I continue, ignoring the way my stomach knots as I speak. ¡°You¡¯ve tried to get me to want you for years. Now you¡¯re trying to baby trap me, did you think it was going to work and that I wouldn¡¯t see past your schemes?¡±

    That must be it. She probably had this nned from the moment my mom asked her for help. She thought this was the only way she could finally have me. Well, over my dead body.

    ¡°You bastard,¡± she breathes<b>. </b>¡°How dare you?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not going to let you manipte me into a life with you. I don¡¯t love you and I will never love-¡±

    ¡°Manipte you?¡± she hisses, stepping closer. ¡°You were the one who came to me. You were the one who kissed me. You were the one who couldn¡¯t keep his hands off me that night. Don¡¯t you dare try to twist what happened just because you hate the consequences.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t hate the consequences,¡± I growl. ¡°I hate you.¡±

    The silence that falls after those words is louder than anything else.

    She schools her features, but for a second, I see the hurt and pain in her eyes. I see just how my words

    have affected her.

    She closes her eyes for a brief moment and then she opens them again¡­ and when she does, her blue eyes are cold in a way I¡¯ve never seen them before.

    ¡°You don¡¯t want a lifetime of dealing with me. You said it yourself, you wish it wasn¡¯t mine.¡± I say, quieter

    this time, watching her reaction ¡°Get rid of it, Sierra and we¡¯ll both be free.¡±

    Sierra just stares at me, her face unreadable, but I think I¡¯ve gotten through to her¡­ well, that¡¯s until she grabs a ceramic bowl and hurls it at me. If I hadn¡¯t been paying attention to her, it would have hit me

    square in the face.

    It shatters against the wall behind me, fragments flying like shrapnel.

    ¡°Are you fucking insane?!¡±

    ¡°Get out,<i>¡± </i>she says, her voice trembling. ¡°Get out and don¡¯t you evere back.¡±

    I don¡¯t move. The irony isn¡¯t lost on me. A few hours ago I¡¯d kicked her out of my office and now she was

    returning a favor.

    ¡°I mean it, Noah. If you don¡¯t want this baby, fine. But you don¡¯t get toe into my home and talk to me like I¡¯m trash. You don¡¯t get toe here and order me to abort my child.¡±

    I clench my jaw, rage and regret fighting for space inside me. Why isn¡¯t she getting it? This baby is a fucking mistake. A mistake I want to fix.

    ¡°I¡¯m not going to y house with you, Sierra. If that¡¯s what you were hoping for, then let me be the bearer of bad news: it¡¯ll never fucking happen. Get rid of the thing or you won¡¯t like what I¡¯ll do.¡±

    Her face goes pale. Then red.

    Her pes hard and fast across my cheek.

    Fuck! Is she always this violent? I swear Sierra has pped me more than my mother ever spanked me as a kid.

    My head jerks from the impact, but I don¡¯t move.

    She stomps past me, opens the door and shoves me outside before mming the door in my face.

    I stand there for a moment, breathing heavily, staring at the door like it might open again. But it doesn¡¯t.

    And for the first time since Chloe died, I feel something new settle in my chest. Something unwanted.

    A guilt that isn¡¯t tied to the past but to the future I might have just destroyed.

 Figured 565

    <b>Chapter </b>565

    I swirl the ss in my hand, my mind miles away.

    After I left Sierra¡¯s house, I went back to work and found my office already cleaned and reorganized. The wreckage I¡¯d caused had vanished without a trace. Even the shattered desk had been reced with a

    brand new one.

    Mary gave me looks. I could feel her questions hanging in the air, but I ignored them. She probably wondered what had transpired between Sierra and me to provoke such a meltdown.

    One thing I¡¯ve always appreciated about Mary is her discretion. She doesn¡¯t gossip. If she did, my mother would have already stormed into my office, arms folded and eyes full of disappointment, demanding why

    I made Sierra cry.

    Everything felt unreal. Like I was stumbling through a thick fog that refused to lift. I even sat through a meeting, though I can barely remember a word that was said. Thankfully, neither Dad nor Uncle Rowan could attend. I was in no shape to face either of them.

    My thoughts were scattered. Emotions rode just beneath the surface, raw and vtile. The team must have sensed it because everyone kept their distance. One wrong move from anyone, and I would have

    exploded all over again.

    After work, I came here to the club. I needed something, anything, to take the edge off. To distract me

    from the chaos I¡¯d created.

    I bring the ss to my lips and down the amber liquid. It burns on the way down, but that¡¯s all it does. It doesn¡¯t dull the ache in my chest. Doesn¡¯t calm the storm raging in my head.

    I thought about going for something stronger, but we all know where that road leads. It was the drugs that got me into this mess to begin with.

    ¡°What are you brooding about?¡± a voice cuts through the fog. A voice I¡¯d recognize in my sleep.

    I look up. Gunner.

    He¡¯s been my best friend since we were kids, since he and his dad moved next door to Mom¡¯s after the divorce. Back then, he was shy and closed¨Coff. But Mom had this way of pulling people in, especially kids. It¡¯s why her children¡¯s foundation thrives. She¡¯s a natural¡­ plus, there is the fact that she was a teacher

    so she knew how to handle kids.

    ¡°Sierra¡¯s pregnant.¡±

    Silence<b>. </b>

    He sinks into the seat across from me, brows rising slightly before a slow grin tugs at his lips.

    +15 <b>BONUS </b>

    ¡°Well, I¡¯ll be damned. I never thought I¡¯d see the day she settled down with someone else and had a kid. I guess Lilly¡¯s efforts finally paid off<b>.</b>¡±

    My brows knit. Confusion flickers.

    Could he mean Lilly helped Sierra with this whole baby¨Ctrapping thing?

    The thought punches me in the gut. Would my own cousin betray me like that?

    My fists clench. ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°About what? That I never thought she¡¯d settle down, or Lilly¡¯s matchmaking?¡±

    ¡°Both.¡±

    He pours himself a drink, lounging back. ¡°We all knew how much she loved you. You marrying Chloe must have crushed her. I know it would¡¯ve crushed me. From what I know, she¡¯s never really dated anyone seriously.<b>¡± </b>

    I remember the day of my wedding. I didn¡¯t pay all that much attention to Sierra. How could I when I was marrying the love of my life? I do remember giving her a brief look, but that was it. Like I said, she didn¡¯t matter. Only my beautiful wife did.

    ¡°And Lilly<b>?</b>¡±

    ¡°Lilly¡¯s been trying to set her up with half the bachelors she knows. I guess one of them finally swept Sierra off her feet. Kinda sucks they didn¡¯t tell me, though.¡±

    Gunner has always had a good rtionship with Sierra. They¡¯re actually good friends and even hang out

    once in a while.

    It¡¯s funny, really. Everyone around me has a good rtionship with Sierra. They all adore her, except me. They¡¯ve never been able to figure out why I dislike her so much. I never understood why I hated her as a kid, but as we be older, the reasons be clearer.

    ¡°She just found out,¡± I mutter.

    He pauses, eyes narrowing. ¡°And she told you first? You, of all people?¡±

    I can see the calction in his eyes. See the way he¡¯s moving the pieces. See the way he¡¯s studying me, as if he¡¯s seeing all my secrets.

    ¡°So why would they tell you first, given your very chaotic rtionship with Si¡­ Unless, of course, the baby is yours.¡±

    I don¡¯t respond.

    There¡¯s a reason Gunner is a leading CEO in the construction industry¨Chis mind is razor¨Csharp. He¡¯s the

    kind of man who can dismantle an opponent without lifting a finger, just by watching and identifying

    their weakness.

    ¡°Tell me I¡¯m wrong.¡±

    <b>¡°</b>I can¡¯t.¡±

    I wish I could. God, I wish someone else were the father. But wishes don¡¯t erase reality.

    He stares at me, stunned. ¡°How the hell did that happen? You hate her.¡±

    ¡°What the fuck am I supposed to do?¡± I rake my hands through my hair. ¡°I don¡¯t want this baby. And if my parents find out, especially Mom, they¡¯ll push me to do the ¡®right thing.¡°¡±

    Gunner remains quiet, but is there really anything to say? He knows I¡¯m right. He knows that will be the

    result if they find out that Sierra is pregnant with my baby.

    ¡°Dad did the right thing. Married Mom when she got pregnant. And they were miserable for nine years. I go through with this, It¡¯ll be history repeating itself.¡±

    ¡°But it eventually worked and now they are extremely happy together.¡±

 Figured 566

    +15 <b>BONUS </b>

    <b>Chapter </b><b>566 </b>

    He just doesn¡¯t get it. This is Sierra we are talking about. I doubt I¡¯ll ever be happy with her.

    ¡°Yeah, but the difference is that Dad felt something for Mom¡­ I feel nothing for Sierra except hate. I <b>don¡¯t </b>

    and will never love her.¡±

    He downs his drink. <b>¡°</b>Never say never.¡±

    I shoot him a re. That¡¯s not happening. Chloe owns my heart. and no one will ever rece her.

    <b>¡°</b>You¡¯re not helping,¡± I snap.

    ¡°Look, I can¡¯t help you, Noah,¡± he says, voice quieter now. ¡°Remember my story? My mom didn¡¯t want me.

    Wanted to abort me. If it wasn¡¯t for my dad, I wouldn¡¯t be here. Is that what you want? To abort <b>your </b>flesh

    and blood<b>?</b><b>¡± </b>

    I look away, but it¡¯s toote. He saw it. Saw what I¡¯m trying to hide.

    ¡°Tell me <b>you </b>didn¡¯t ask her to abort the child,¡± he explodes.

    His fury is so palpable, I can feel it thickening the air around us.

    The fact that Aunt Emma didn¡¯t want Gunner broke him for the longest. They have a great rtionship now, but the scars of those wounds are still there¡­ And now here I am wanting to do the same thing.

    <b>¡°</b><b>You </b>don¡¯t understand.¡±

    <b>¡°</b>Understand what? That you want to kill an innocent child?¡± he snaps.

    My anger rises, matching his. ¡°I don¡¯t want this baby! I don¡¯t want a child with anyone. Especially Sierra.¡±

    How could I want a kid with her after how she treated Chloe? After all the nasty and disgusting things she did to my wife, someone she imed was her friend. Why would I want such a woman in my life, let alone the mother of my child?

    Gunner stares at me like he¡¯s seen a stranger before shaking his head. The disappointment in his eyes is <b>clear</b>¡­ but this is the one thing I¡¯m not willing to budge on.

    Honestly speaking, <b>it </b>fucking stings that he¡¯s taking her side instead of mine.

    Then, he stands. ¡°I suggest you think real hard about what you¡¯re doing. Do you really want to be that <b>guy</b><b>? </b>

    ¡±

    He walks out. The door closes behind him, and I¡¯m alone again. Stewing in my anger, confusion and bitterness.

    I don¡¯t stay either<b>. </b>Soon after, I <b>leave </b>too.

    +15 <b>BONUS </b>

    Perks of drinking at one of Dad¡¯s clubs? No bill.

    When I get home, it¡¯s already past nine and the house is quiet.

    I pass through the hall, the silence heavier than usual. Chloe used to always be here, waiting for me. No matter howte it was. These quiet nights? They¡¯re when I miss her the most. When I wish someone else could have been taken in her ce.

    I step into the twins¡® room. They¡¯re soundly asleep. Nn¡¯s sprawled out, snoring softly while Nova clutches her favorite turtle toy to her chest.

    I wanted them to have separate rooms, but they threw the worst tantrum I¡¯ve ever seen. In the end I gave

    in and let them be. We can always revisit that subject when they¡¯re older.

    I gently reposition Nn and tuck him in. My heart aches as I look at them. They¡¯re our miracles. The best parts of me and Chloe.

    I remember how Chloe and I tried so hard for them.

    We wanted to start a family immediately, but after months of trying and failing, we decided to visit a

    specialist. That¡¯s when we got the terrible news: Chloe suffered from low egg count.

    We immediately began treatment and were put on assisted reproduction. Not once did she lose hope and

    she always believed that we would have twins. I had my doubts, but I kept my hope alive for her sake

    because I couldn¡¯t bear to see her disappointed.

    I watched her get through the intense treatment. I was there through the nausea and vomiting, bruising,

    and soreness. So many times I wanted her to stop, but she wouldn¡¯t. She wanted a child so badly and I would do anything to make her happy, so I swallowed the pain of watching her go through what I

    considered at that time as torture.

    One yearter her efforts bore fruit. She became pregnant and the bonus on top of that? She was

    expecting twins. A boy and a girl, just like she had prayed and wished for. I was happy and finally I could put the torture of seeing her in that state behind me.

    We both cried when they were born and Chloe gave each a name starting with N. She thought it was cute

    that my name rhymed with those of our children.

    We were so happy and thought it would be the start of our family expanding¡­ but none of us knew that just a few yearster we would lose Chloe. No one saw iting.

    Losing broke me in ways I never knew were possible. I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll ever recover those pieces because the day I buried Chloe, I buried my heart with her.

    I¡¯m still here because of our children. Because I promised her that I would be there for them.

    I miss her every single day. Nn and Nova are what keep me sane. Seeing them, seeing their mother in

    them, keeps me moving forward even when I feel like giving up.

    I kiss them both gently and step out.

    The truth is, taking responsibility for Sierra¡¯s baby isn¡¯t the part that terrifies me. What terrifies me is that I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll ever love him or her like I love Nn and Nova¡­ And no child deserves that.

 Figured 567

    Chapter <b>567 </b>

    Sierra.

    It¡¯s been a couple of days since my confrontation with Noah. Am I okay? Definitely not. I¡¯m still fucking pissed off and, if I¡¯m being honest, hurt.

    I never expected him to wee this pregnancy with open arms, but to outright suggest I get an abortion? That broke something in me. It shattered every illusion I¡¯d ever held of him.

    Noah was always the good guy in my head. Even when he treated me like shit, I still put him on a pedestal. I told myself he just didn¡¯t like me and that didn¡¯t make him a bad person.

    But for him to basicallymand me to get rid of the baby? To ask me to kill an innocent life? To say those words without hesitation? In that moment, he became something else entirely.

    I hate topare, especially knowing how much he resents me, but I can¡¯t help but wonder how differently he would¡¯ve reacted if it were Chloe. If she were alive and expecting their third child.

    I know she¡¯s gone. But that doesn¡¯t stop this ugly twist of jealousy and resentment in my chest. It¡¯s smothering and makes me feel like an evil person for being jealous of a dead person.

    My phone pings with a notification from the Uber I ordered. It¡¯s here.

    Sighing, I give ckie onest head rub before grabbing my bag and heading out.

    ¡°Hi,¡± I greet the driver as I slide into the back seat.

    ¡°Hello, miss. How¡¯s your day going?¡± he asks politely.

    I don¡¯t know about other people, but I always feel rude ignoring drivers. I might not always chat, but I

    make a point to greet them

    ¡°Not that great,¡± I admit while fastening my seatbelt.

    I went to work the day after I told Noah the news. I asked for a few days off and picked up my car. It¡¯s currently sitting in my garage right now, but I just didn¡¯t feel like driving today.

    It¡¯s one of those days where you don¡¯t feel like doing anything and all you want is your mom¡¯s warm hug and her special tea.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry too much. Everything will work out in the end,¡± he offers kindly as the car pulls away.

    I know he¡¯s trying to be nice, but as much as I want to believe his words, I can¡¯t.

    I decided to keep the baby, yes, but I¡¯m too down in the pits to see any silver lining right now.

    ¡°Thanks,¡± I murmur, turning to look out the window.

    The city passes by in a blur. I¡¯m too lost in my thoughts and heartache for anything to register.

    Noah¡¯s face haunts me. His disgust, the venom in his words. The way he spoke about my baby still hurts me. It¡¯s like he saw them as something vile and repulsive. Like their very existence offended him.

    I¡¯ve thought of nothing these past few days except that day. His reaction. His harsh words and the

    bitterness in his voice.

    I never understood how a parent can hate their own child, and maybe that¡¯s because I was surrounded

    with so much love; the idea seemed foreign to me.

    And after seeing Noah¡¯s reaction, I still don¡¯t understand it, I didn¡¯t expect him to love my baby, but <b>I </b>also

    didn¡¯t expect him to outright hate their existence.

    My chest aches as I rub at the spot over my heart, trying to soothe the pain encased there.

    I knew Noah hated me, but to hear him say it, to hear the conviction in his tone, it undid me.

    I¡¯ve never been able to understand it. I¡¯ve never done anything to hurt him, so why does he hate me so

    much?

    A snort leaves my lips. It¡¯s funny how he crashed a lot of my expectations that day. He fell from grace in my eyes and now I finally see him for what he is. A hateful, bitter asshole.

    ¡°We¡¯re here, miss,¡± the driver says, snapping me out of it.

    I blink back into reality. We¡¯ve arrived at my mom¡¯s house.

    I dig into my bag and hand him some cash. ¡°Thank you.¡±

    I get out of the car, distractedly. <b>I </b>probably gave him a lot more than the fare and tipbined, but I don¡¯t care. All I want is my mom.

    He calls after me, ¡°Have a nice day¡­ I hope it gets better.¡±

    I give him a small smile over my shoulder before walking to the door. Fishing out the keys, I unlock it.

    ¡°Mom?¡± I call out, slipping off my shoes and closing the door behind me.

    The scent of warm vani and something sweet wraps around me. This house always feels like a safety, ready to catch me when I¡¯m falling.

    ¡°Si?¡± she calls back, poking her head out from the kitchen.

    I don¡¯t hesitate. I rush into the kitchen and throw myself into her arms. She catches me and I sink into

    her embrace.

    <b>¡°</b>Mommy.¡±

    The second I¡¯m in her embrace, I lose it. A dam bursts and tears pour down my face. I can¡¯t stop them nor can I fight or push back the pain anymore.

    Anguished cries rip from my throat as I cling to my mother like she¡¯s the lifeline I need to stay afloat.

 Figured 568

    Chapter <b>568 </b>

    All the pain I¡¯ve been suppressing, all the heartbreak and weight I¡¯ve been carrying these past few days, it

    alles out in waves.

    ¡°Shhh,¡± Mom whispers, rubbing my back. ¡°It¡¯s okay, baby. I¡¯ve got you.¡±

    Hearing her call me that breaks me even more. It reminds me that I am loved. That I¡¯m still her baby girl, and nothing will ever change that.

    I bury my face in her shoulder, inhaling her familiar scent¨Cwild berries. It centers me, grounds me and eases the crashing weight in my soul.

    When there are no more tears, I pull away from her. She takes my hand and gently guides me to the

    dining table.

    Even now<b>, </b>my mom is still stunning. She¡¯s aged like fine wine and people have a hard time believing that she¡¯s forty¨Cnine.

    I¡¯ve never understood why she stayed single. Growing up, men used to ask her out all the time, but she

    always turned them down. She was beautiful, had a sessful nursing career, and could¡¯ve had anyone,

    but she remained single.

    I once asked why she never dated. She told me she didn¡¯t need a man. She had me and that was enough.

    I never thought of following in my mom¡¯s footsteps, but maybe my baby will be enough for me too.

    ¡°Tell me what¡¯s wrong, my love,¡± she says, concern shining in her eyes.

    If there¡¯s one person who can pull me out of this pit, it¡¯s her.

    I take a deep breath.

    ¡°I¡¯m pregnant.¡±

    She blinks in surprise. Then a smile slowly begins to form.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to be a grandma?¡± she asks, her voiceced with shock and joy.

    ¡°Yes.¡± I fumble with my hands, avoiding her eyes.

    It takes just a few seconds for the smile to slip from her face.

    ¡°You don¡¯t look happy about it.¡±

    She¡¯s staring at me like she¡¯s trying to see straight into my soul.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t expect this, Mom,¡± I whisper. ¡°I don¡¯t know how to do this.¡±

    And it¡¯s the truth. I chose to keep the baby, but I honestly don¡¯t know where to start or how I¡¯m going to do this. I don¡¯t know how I am going to raise a baby single¨Chandedly.

    ¡°The father?¡± she asks gently.

    Ah, fuck! I didn¡¯t think this through. I scramble toe up with a lie. Something that will sound

    believable.

    ¡°H¨Che isn¡¯t in the picture.¡± I stammer. ¡°The baby is a result of a one¨Cnight stand.¡±

    Technically speaking, I¡¯m not lying, but it also feels weird and awkward admitting that I had a one¨Cnight stand.

    Growing up, I avoided any sex talk with mom. Given she¡¯s a nurse, she was all about safe sex and all that, while I just found it weird talking about sex with my mother.

    ¡°I see,¡± she murmurs, her eyes still on mine.

    Since I don¡¯t n on Noah being in the baby¡¯s life, this is the only way to make sure that no one except for Lilly and probably Gunner (I¡¯m sure Noah has already told him) knows the truth.

    The only thing I can do is pray that his genes aren¡¯t stronger than mine and that the baby looks nothing like him. Otherwise, things will blow up in our faces when the baby is born.

    She doesn¡¯t say anything for a moment, and my heart pounds. Has she figured it out?

    But then she speaks.

    ¡°Parenting doesn¡¯te with a manual, Si,¡± she says. ¡°Nothing prepares you for it. You just do your best. And the fact that you¡¯re already scared? That¡¯s a sign of a good mother. You¡¯re already thinking about your child¡¯s well¨Cbeing. That¡¯s a good start.¡±

    Tears sting my eyes again and I feel like crying again.

    ¡°Is it always like this?¡± I sniff. ¡°This emotional?¡±

    She chuckles softly. ¡°Oh, sweetheart. You haven¡¯t seen anything yet.¡±

    ¡°Seriously<b>?</b>¡± I blink. ¡°I thought that was just an exaggeration.¡±

    ¡°When I was pregnant with you, I cried for thirty minutes because I picked a blue cup from the cab instead of the white one with flowers.¡±

    My eyes widen. That¡¯s what I signed up for?

    Sheughs at the memory. ¡°Looking back, it was silly. I could¡¯ve just switched cups. But in that moment, it felt like my world had ended.¡±

    She grows thoughtful, her eyes distant with nostalgia.

    Sheughs at the memory. ¡°Looking back, it was silly. I could¡¯ve just switched cups. But in that moment, it felt like my world had ended.¡±

    She grows thoughtful, her eyes distant with nostalgia.

    ¡°Anyway¡­ get ready for nausea, mood swings, weird cravings, swollen feet, and backaches¡­ oh, and you won¡¯t be able to shave or bend for months. And-¡±

    ¡°Okay, okay,¡± I cut her off,ughing nervously. ¡°You¡¯re scaring me.¡±

    Herughter joins mine, warm and soft. ¡°Don¡¯t be scared. It¡¯s a beautiful journey. Worth every crazy moment. Holding you for the first time? That¡¯s still one of the best moments of my life.¡±

    She leans over and kisses my cheek. Her warmth seeps into me, wrapping around the cracks in my heart.

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to worry, Si,<i>¡± </i>she says. ¡°You¡¯re going to be an incredible mother.¡±

 Figured 569

    Figured 568

    ¡°Would you like some tea?¡± Mom asks, standing up.

    Mom has always had a special way of making it. I don¡¯t know how she does it or if there is a secret

    ingredient, all I know is that her tea is amazing.

    I¡¯ve tried making it a couple of times, but no matter how I follow the instructions, I¡¯ve never been able to

    make it taste like hers.

    I still think you have a special ingredient that you¡¯ve never shared with me,¡± I tell her.

    ¡°There is no secret ingredient, Si,¡± she replies with a knowing smile, filling the kettle.

    ¡°There has to be because howe you¡¯re the only one who can make it like that?¡± I tease her, watching

    her move around the kitchen like it¡¯s second nature.

    I don¡¯t think there is a single person I know who doesn¡¯t like mom¡¯s tea. Everyone who has a taste of it

    usually wants more. Even the die¨Chard coffee fans.

    ¡°Maybe the secret ingredient is love,¡± she says with a shrug.

    ¡°Are you trying to say I don¡¯t love myself and that¡¯s why I always fail in making it?¡± I tease.

    She chuckles, leaning against the counter. ¡°Now you¡¯re just putting words in my mouth.¡±

    ¡°You know, you could start a tea business if you wanted to.¡±

    I¡¯m not being biased; her tea is just that great.

    She chuckles softly. ¡°Maybe I¡¯ll think about it after I¡¯ve enjoyed my retirement a little bit more¡­ but for now I¡¯ll keep spoiling you with it.¡±

    Mom retired as the head a couple of months ago. So far, she says retirement is great and she doesn¡¯t miss work, but I know she¡¯s not used to aid¨Cback schedule. She¡¯s used to always being busy so she¡¯s having a bit of a hard time adjusting.

    ¡°Besides,¡± she continues ¡°Something tells me being a grandma is going to be a full¨Ctime job.¡±

    Grandma

    The wordnds softly in my chest

    She wants to be a grandma She¡¯s happy. She¡¯s excited. That alone <b>makes </b>the tight knot in my stomach

    loosen

    I didn¡¯t even realize it, but I was nervous of her reaction. She knew I always wanted to get married first before having kids and she always supported me on that I guess a small part of me was afraid that she¡¯d

    be disappointed now that I¡¯m going to be a single mother.

    ¡°I feel like I can breathe again,¡± I say quietly, more to myself than to her.

    Mom turns slightly, giving me one of her gentle but all¨Cknowing looks. ¡°You¡¯ve been holding everything in, haven¡¯t you?¡±

    I nod, my eyes pricking with tears. ¡°I didn¡¯t know what to do or where <i>to </i>start. Everything¡¯s just been so messy since I found out.¡±

    She walks over and ces a warm hand on my shoulder. ¡°Messy doesn¡¯t mean the end of the world, sweetheart. It just means we clean it up together.¡±

    Her tea finishes brewing, and we carry our cups to the living room, the same one I grew up in where so many of life¡¯s moments happened. Everything here smells like home¨Cfaintvender, lemon floor polish, and something warm and sugary from a cake she probably baked earlier.

    I curl up on the couch, legs tucked under me, and hold the cup between my palms.

    The first sip is magic. It¡¯s ridiculous how good it is. Something about the way it warms my chest, settles into my bones.

    I don¡¯t realize how badly I needed it until I¡¯m halfway through the cup. My limbs finally beginning to loosen. My whole body sinking into the cushions like I¡¯ve been carrying something too heavy for too long.

    ¡°You¡¯re exhausted,<i>¡± </i>she says gently, setting her own cup down.

    ¡°I haven¡¯t really been sleeping,¡± I admit, my voice low.

    She doesn¡¯t push. She just pats the armrest beside her. ¡°Come here. Close your eyes for a bit. Just rest. I¡¯ll be right here.¡±

    I curl up beside her, like I used to when I was little and had bad dreams. Her hand strokes through my hair the same way it always has. And in this moment, with the soft hum of the kettle still lingering in the background and the steady rise and fall of her breathing, something inside me unclenches and my body gives into the warmth and quiet.

    Sleepes easier than I thought it would.

    When I wake up, the sun has shifted, golden light pouring through the sheer curtains. I blink slowly. disoriented for a second until I remember where I am.

    Mom is still beside me, flipping through a magazine, her <b>sses </b>slipping low on her nose.

    ¡°You let me sleep,¡± I mumble, still groggy

    ¡°You needed it,¡± she replies with a small smile. ¡°And don¡¯t worry, I didn¡¯t take any embarrassing pictures.¡±

    Iugh. It¡¯s soft and real and the first one that hasn¡¯t felt forced in a while.

    She squeezes my hand. ¡°You¡¯re going to be just fine, Sierra. This baby already has so much love waiting.¡±

    Tears gather in my eyes again, but they¡¯re good tears. The kind thates from feeling held. The kind thates from knowing that I¡¯m not alone.

    Later, after we¡¯ve had dinner, she insists on driving me home. I try <i>to </i>argue that I¡¯m fine, that I can manage, but she waves me off with a yful scolding about ¡°precious cargo<i>.</i><i>¡± </i>

    Honestly, I would have spent the night, but there was ckie. If only I had the foresight to bring her with <ol><li>me. </li></ol>

    The ride back is quiet but peaceful. The city passes, but inside her car, it¡¯s just the two of us and the faint sound of the radio ying some old song she loves. She hums along softly, and I let myself drift in thefort of her presence.

    When we pull up in front of my ce, she puts the car in park but doesn¡¯t rush to leave.

    ¡°Call me if you need anything,¡± she says, turning to look at me. ¡°Even if it¡¯s just to talk. Or cry. Or yell. I¡¯ll always pick up.¡±

    ¡°I know, mom¡± I whisper, my throat thick.

    She leans over and kisses my temple. ¡°Get some more rest. And start thinking of baby names.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Mommy.¡±

    I don¡¯t know what it is about moms, but they always have this amazing way of making everything better.

    I didn¡¯t know my father, but I damn lucky that God chose her as my mom.

    She smiles and after a second or so, I get out of the car. I wave and watch as she drives off.

    When I step inside my apartment, it hits me how different I feel. It¡¯s the same furniture, the same walls,

    and the same faint scent of vani, but I¡¯m not the same.

    For the first time in days, I feel okay. Still uncertain, still scared¨Cbut also okay. Now my hope is that everything will work out and that both I and the baby will be fine.

 Figured 570

    Chapter <b>570 </b>

    The feel of a rough, wet substance drags me out of my dream. I crack one eye open ande face¨Cto¨Cface with ckie, my furry, unrepentant rm clock.

    She doesn¡¯t stop when she sees I¡¯m awake; no, she doubles down, like my cheek is a stubborn stain she¡¯s

    determined to scrub away.

    ¡°Okay, okay, I¡¯m up,¡± I groan, wrapping my arms around her warm, purring body and pulling her in for a

    cuddle.

    For a moment, I just lie there with no thought in my head. Her sandpaper tongue is rough against my skin and oddlyforting even though it feels like I¡¯m being scrubbed by spikes.

    I take a deep breath, count to fifteen, and finally push myself upright, still holding ckie like a furry

    football.

    I¡¯ve had my beautiful girl for five years now. Adopted her a year after Noah and Chloe¡¯s wedding because I needed morefort andpanionship. I¡¯d gone to the shelter for a dog, but halfway down the row, a tiny, judgmental meow stopped me in my tracks. Then I saw those eyes. Green, unblinking, and clearly unimpressed with me, and that was it. Instant soul bond. She¡¯s been my little shadow ever since.

    By the time we reached the kitchen, she¡¯d moved down to my neck. I set her down, fill her bowls, and

    stand there staring at my fridge.

    Nothing looks appealing. Not even cereal.

    I settle on orange juice<i>. </i>Minimal effort, maximum vitamin C and at least I won¡¯t puke my guts after. I pour a ss and perch on the counter stool.

    My mind, of course, immediately jumps to the baby. I need to book a gynecologist appointment. Start vitamins. Maybe even try a healthy diet.

    I have a three¨Cbedroom house, so I could easily turn one into a nursery. And is it too early to baby¨Cproof?

    Probably. But also¡­ maybe not?

    ckie weaves around my feet, so I scoop her up again.

    ¡°What do you think about having a baby?¡± I ask, stroking her silky fur.

    <b>¡°</b>Meow<i>.</i><i>¡± </i>

    ¡°That¡¯s an approval, right?¡±

    Then my brain takes off at lightning speed: I¡¯ll need baby stuff. Clothes, toys, nkets, a crib, a ypen¡­ Should I pick a name? but it¡¯s too early to know the gender. Besides, I¡¯m not sure if I want to know the gender or just wait to find out once he or she is born.

    I¡¯ll also need to apply for maternity leave. Thankfully, I¡¯m good at saving. I¡¯m not Lilly¨Clevel rich, but I do just fine.

    There were so many things to think about. I¡¯m only one month along and already thinking about college. Is this how a mom¡¯s brain works?

    The doorbell rings, snapping me out of my spiral. ckie and I exchange a look. Neither of us is expecting anyone. It¡¯s ten¨Csomething on a Wednesday morning, so it can¡¯t be Lilly.

    I answer the door and nearly fall backward.

    ¡°Surprise!!¡±

    Five women burst into my house like a SWAT team armed with shopping bags.

    Before I can blink, I¡¯m herded inside, hugged by everyone, and deposited on the couch. Lilly slips inst, looking nervous. My eyes narrow.

    ¡°Why do you look like that?¡± I demand.

    She doesn¡¯t answer. Just gives a nervous chuckle.

    ¡°Come sit, sweetheart,¡± Aunt Harper coos.

    Once everyone¡¯s settled, I nce around at my unofficial family: Aunt Ava, Harper, Corrine, Letty, and Emma. My aunties, not by blood, but by love and history.

    Sometimes I look at them and feel this deep, quiet gratitude. I have aunties and uncles who love me, even if we don¡¯t share a drop of blood. Mom never had siblings. Grandpa died when she was just four, and Grandma never remarried. She said he was her one true love and no one could ever rece him. Personally, I think Grandma might¡¯ve just set the bar so high no one else everpared.

    ¡°Not that I¡¯m not happy to see you,¡± I start, ¡°but¡­ why are you here?¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± Aunt Ava says, her eyes sparkling, ¡°a little birdie told us you¡¯re going to have a baby, so we came to congratte you!¡±

    I whip my head toward Lilly. ¡°I¡¯m going to kill you.¡±

    Hands up. ¡°I swear it wasn¡¯t me! I was just as surprised as you. Mom called me, saying they were

    nning a surprise.¡±

    What? Then if she¡¯s not the one who told them, who did? I know it¡¯s not Noah, and Gunner wouldn¡¯t dare open his mouth, so who was it?

    Then it clicks.

    ¡°It was Mom,¡± I say with a sigh. ¡°Wasn¡¯t it?¡±

    Mom has her own circle of friends, but because I know practically everyone here, she¡¯s been happily adopted into the fold. Now they even meet up a couple of times a month for food, usually at some gloriously greasy diner, because Aunt Ava swears fancy restaurants don¡¯t serve real food. ording to her, if your te isn¡¯t at least half oil stains and heart attack risk, it¡¯s just decorative eating

    X

 Figured 571

    Aunt Letty grins. ¡°She¡¯s over the moon. She called each of us, gushing about being a grandma.¡±

    Aunt Emma pouts. ¡°Though I am a little disappointed you didn¡¯t tell us yourself.¡±

    Guilt prickles. ¡°It all happened so suddenly. I wanted to process it first.¡±

    Ande up with a convincing lie about the father.

    ¡°Ivy didn¡¯t tell us much.¡± Aunt Ava leans in. ¡°So who¡¯s the special guy<b>?</b><b>¡± </b>

    Lilly and I freeze. I knew it wasing, but for some reason it still caught me off guard.

    ¡°He¡¯s not really in the picture,¡± I say carefully.

    Five heads tilt in confusion until Aunt Corrine blurts, ¡°Wait¨Cwas this a one¨Cnight stand?¡±

    <b>I </b>nod. It¡¯s weird telling them, just like it was with Mom¡­ and now I wish the ground could open and swallow me. This is fucking embarrassing.

    <b>¡°</b>One¨Cnight stand?¡± Aunt Ava repeats, frowning.

    ¡°She means she had sex with a guy one time,¡± Aunt Emma exins helpfully

    Aunt Ava narrows her eyes. ¡°I know what a one¨Cnight stand is, Emma.¡±

    ¡°I was just informing you.¡±

    ¡°I <b>don¡¯t </b>need you to inform me!¡± she snaps, but there really is no heat behind the words.

    I¡¯ve always found it funny how those two can banter like teenagers, even at their age. They¡¯re sisters-

    well, not by blood. Aunt Ava was adopted into Aunt Emma¡¯s family. They weren¡¯t exactly close growing up

    ¡­. and definitely not in their twenties, since they both fell in love with the same man. Uncle Rowan.

    Awkward? Absolutely. But somehow, they went from love rivals to inseparable best friends, and now they

    roast each other for sport. 1

    Aunt Emma is also Gunner¡¯s mom.

    ¡°I¡¯m just having a hard time epting our girl had sex,¡± Aunt Ava continues.

    Aunt Emma snorts. ¡°How else did you think she¡¯d have a baby? Through osmosis?¡±

    ¡°That would be preferable.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s ridiculous,¡± Aunt Emma scoffs. ¡°Are you forgetting you had sex at eighteen and got pregnant?¡±

    ¡°Well, I wasn¡¯t the only one, was I?¡± Aunt Ava fires back, eyeing both Aunt Harper and Aunt Emma. ¡°Let¡¯s not pretend halos were involved. You two also lost yours before the age of twenty.¡±

    I¡¯m just sitting here listening and wondering if I should grab popcorn.

    Lilly makes a gagging sound. ¡°I so did not need to know that.¡±

    ¡°Why are we even talking about virginities?¡± Aunt Letty chimes in with, ¡°All I hope is that the guy at least took care of her, even if he left his¡­ stuff.¡±

    ¡°Okay!¡± <b>I </b>cut in loudly, now that the tables had turned and the focus was back on me. ¡°Can we not talk about my sex life?¡±

    ¡°Why not?¡±

    ¡°Because it¡¯s weird,¡± Lilly says.

    ¡°Nothing weird about it,¡± Aunt Ava says. ¡°We talk about sex all the time thanks to our sex toy business.¡±

    I blink. ¡°¡­ Your what now?<b>¡± </b>

    Aunt Ava¡¯s smile falters. ¡°Oops.¡±

    Lilly¡¯s jaw drops. ¡°You have a sex toypany<b>?!</b><b>¡± </b>

    Now they¡¯re the ones looking awkward.

    <b>¡°</b>Yes,¡± Aunt Ava admits.

    I stare at them, still trying to process.

    I mean, Aunt Ava, who runs a children¡¯s organization, invests in multiplepanies, and still somehow runs her family¡¯s business¨Cowns that?

    Aunt Emma is a powerhousewyer with a major stake in her own family¡¯spany. Aunt Harper and Aunt Corrine are both busy running family empires, and Aunt Letty, though married to Aunt Emma¡¯s brother, has her own thriving businesses.

    And yet, with all that power, influence, and polished professionalism¡­ never in my life would I have guessed they also had a sex toypany.

    Some families pass down jewelry. This will pass down¡­ battery¨Coperated legacies?

    Lilly squints like she¡¯s running through a mental catalog of brands. ¡°What¡¯s the name?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not important right now<i>,</i><i>¡± </i>Aunt Harper cuts in quickly. ¡°We¡¯re here for Si, not to talk about¡­ That.¡±

    Lilly and I exchange a look that clearly says this is far from over.

    ¡°So,¡± Aunt Emma says, changing the subject, ¡°do we know this man?¡±

    <b>¡°</b>Nope<b>!</b>¡± I answer too fast, eyes flicking stupidly to Aunt Ava.

    She¡¯s studying me with narrowed eyes. Like she¡¯s peeling back my skin and reading my secrets.

    Shit. I snap my gaze away, heart thudding.

    God, I hope she didn¡¯t see the truth in my face. If she did¡­ I¡¯m screwed. And Noah will kill me.

 Figured 572

    ¡°Why did you lie to them?¡± Lilly whispers in my ear as I watch my aunties bustling in the kitchen, pulling out bowls and trays like they were nning a feast instead of a snack.

    ¡°What was I supposed to do?¡± I whisper back. ¡°Noah wants nothing to do with this baby and honestly<b>, </b>I

    don¡¯t want him in our lives either. This was the best solution.¡±

    I¡¯m not going to spend the next nine months and the rest of my life chasing a man who¡¯s made it very

    clear he doesn¡¯t want me or this child. Noah has hurt me enough times; I¡¯m done giving him the chance

    to do it again.

    I have a baby to think about now, and he or shees first. I¡¯ll protect them from their father¡¯s hate no

    matter what. If that means staying away from him, so be it. I will not have my child feeling the sting of

    rejection.

    ¡°Are you sure about this?¡± Lilly asks, ncing at the kitchen before returning her gaze to me.

    ¡°I¡¯ve never been surer about anything in my life,¡± I reply. ¡°Noah and I? We¡¯re chaos. I won¡¯t allow my baby

    to face the consequences of my choices.¡±

    Ever since yesterday, something has shifted inside me. Maybe it was Noah¡¯s cruelty one too many times.

    Maybe it¡¯s the fact that there¡¯s a new little life to protect. Maybe it¡¯s just the natural pull of motherhood¡­

    but I feel different. Stronger.

    ¡°I hope you know what you¡¯re doing,¡± Lilly says quietly. ¡°You¡¯re ying with fire. I have a feeling it¡¯s

    going to blow up in your face.¡±

    The feeling of foreboding is heavy. I assure myself that nothing is going to happen. I¡¯ve thought this

    through and I¡¯ll be careful. No one will ever know that Noah fathered my child.

    I push away the twinge of unease. ¡°You worry too much. Nothing¡¯s going to happen.¡±

    ¡°What if Noah changes his mind?¡± she presses, her eyes sharp on mine.

    Iugh¨Ca dry, humorless sound. ¡°That¡¯s about as likely as the sun rising in the west tomorrow. We both know that will never happen.¡±

    ¡°But what if it does?¡± she insists.

    Why is she so set on this? She knows her cousin very well. She knows Noah will never stop hating me. He will never change his mind.

    What has gotten into her all of a sudden? Wasn¡¯t she the one who told me that I¡¯d still be okay even if Noah didn¡¯t ept my pregnancy? Then what changed?

    I frown. ¡°So what? That won¡¯t change a damn thing. He lost all his rights when he told me to get an

    abortion. We will never need him.¡±

    She goes quiet, looking troubled, but I can¡¯t dwell on it. ¡°I¡¯ll be okay, Lilly. My baby will be okay. Everything¡¯s under control.¡±

    She finally nods. ¡°Okay.¡±

    I smile. ¡°Now, I need to make a doctor¡¯s appointment for tomorrow.¡±

    It takes only a few minutes in the other room to get booked in with a private OB/GYN for nine a.m. The excitement bubbling in me is almost impossible to contain. I was afraid at first, but after talking with my mom and seeing the love surrounding me, I feel like I can do this. I was raised by a single mom, and I turned out fine. My baby will too. He or she will be surrounded by love and I¡¯ll be there every step of the way<b>. </b>

    ¡°How did it go?¡± Aunt Ava asks as I return to the living room.

    The coffee table is already covered in drinks and snacks, making my stomach growl.

    ¡°Booked in for nine tomorrow morning,¡± I say, taking a seat.

    ¡°Are <b>you </b>excited?¡± Aunt Corrine asks, passing me juice and a te.

    ¡°Yes! I read that hearing your baby¡¯s heartbeat for the first time is magical.¡± I can¡¯t stop smiling.

    ¡°It is,¡± Aunt Letty says. ¡°Only thing better is holding them for the first time.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s funny. At first I was terrified,¡± I admit. ¡°But now¡­ I feel like I could take on the world for them.¡±

 Figured 573

    Aunt Ava nods knowingly. That¡¯s what motherhood does. I was scared out of my mind when I found out I was pregnant with Noah, but you realize there¡¯s someone depending on youpletely. You pull your big girl panties on and do what it takes.<b>¡± </b>

    Her words sink deep, warm and steadying. I¡¯d do anything for this baby¨Cincluding telling Noah to go. straight to hell.

    ¡°Thank you, Aunties,¡± I say thickly, fighting tears.

    They respond with a chorus of ¡°Awws¡± before pulling me into a group hug.

    The conversation drifts from my appointment to baby advice, and I find myself watching my aunties with fresh eyes. They¡¯re all so aplished, runningpanies, managing charities, and somehow still finding time to babysit, gossip, and asionally argue over the best cheesecake in town.

    It¡¯s mid¨Csentence, while Aunt Corrine is exining the importance of being a present mother, that Lilly¡¯s eyes go wide like she¡¯s just solved the meaning of life. She sits forward so fast her juice nearly spills.

    ¡°I knew it!¡± she blurts out. ¡°It¡¯s yourpany, isn¡¯t it? The one that makes those¡­ those amazing-¡± she nces at me, then at the aunties ¡°-adult products. It has to be. I mean, think about it. Ambitious, fearless women who have high standards and dominate their industries? Obviously, you¡¯d dominate that industry too.¡±

    She looks so smugly triumphant, like she¡¯s cracked a cold case.

    Everyone looks at her.

    Aunt Harper raises an eyebrow. ¡°And how exactly do you know which ones are the best,¡¯ sweetheart?<b>¡± </b>

    The color drains from Lilly¡¯s face, and she stammers, ¡°I¡­ uh¡­ read the reviews?¡±

    I have to bite my lip to stop fromughing because I know exactly why she knows, and it has nothing to do with reading reviews. The mental image is almost too much, and my shoulders shake as I try not to lose itpletely.

    Aunt Letty smirks. ¡°Oh, please. We all know why she knows.¡±

    Lilly res at her, muttering under her breath, ¡°I just didn¡¯t know the ones I¡¯ve been using were owned by my mother and aunties.¡±

    That¡¯s it¨CI lose it. Laughter bursts out of me so hard I nearly spill my juice.

    ¡°<b>Don¡¯t </bugh too hard,¡± Lilly shoots back, eyes narrowing. ¡°You¡¯ve been using the same ones.¡±

    Now she¡¯sughing too, the irony hanging between us. Iugh harder, clutching my stomach, because who would have thought?

    Aunt Harper¡¯s mouth falls open in disbelief while the rest of the aunties look like they¡¯re two seconds away from falling off their chairs withughter

    ¡°Alright, before this conversation scars me for life,¡± I say, still giggling, ¡°let me open these lovely gifts.¡±

    One by one, I unwrap thoughtful presents¨Ca soft baby nket from Aunt Corrine, a ridiculously adorable onesie from Aunt Ava that says ¡°Future CEO,¡± a <b>gift </b>basket from Aunt Letty full of organic baby products, and really cute baby shoes and socks from Aunt Emma. Each gift was so thoughtful, and by the time I¡¯m done opening everything, I don¡¯t really think I¡¯ll need to buy anything except a crib.

    I thank each of them, my heart full and my eyes close to tears. This? This is what I needed. The reminder

    that I¡¯m loved and I¡¯m not alone.

    By the time they gather their coats and handbags, ns for their next visit are already set. ¡°We¡¯lle by after your appointment,¡± Aunt Emma says. ¡°And no excuses¡­ print as many of those ultrasound pictures as possible.¡±

    ¡°Deal,¡± I reply, my heart feeling warm

    As they leave, Aunt Ava pulls me aside, ¡°Sierra, are you sure we don¡¯t know who the father is?<b>¡± </b>

    Her gaze is steady, searching. I can see her mind turning, piecing together things I don¡¯t want pieced together.

    My heart is pounding, but I have to keep it cool. I can¡¯t give anything away.

    I meet her eyes and steadily reply, ¡°Yes.¡±

    She sighs, but I catch the flicker of doubt in her eyes. She¡¯s suspicious, and I know that once Aunt Ava gets an idea in her head, she¡¯ll dig until she¡¯s holding the truth in her hands.

 Figured 574

    Chapter <b>574 </b>

    My phone buzzes against the dresser as I¡¯m fastening the small sp on my bracelet.

    ¡°Are you at the hospital yet?¡± Mom¡¯s voice is bright, brimming with that warm excitement that always

    gives her away.

    ¡°Not yet,¡± I say, slipping my bag over my shoulder. ¡°I¡¯m just getting ready to leave.¡±

    I can almost hear her smile through the line. ¡°Alright. Drive safe. And make sure you take pictures if they

    give you the chance. I want to see my grandbaby.¡±

    Her enthusiasm is infectious, and though I try to y it cool, I know I¡¯m just as giddy. My chest is tight, but in that good way. The kind of anticipation that tingles in your fingertips. Today, I¡¯ll hear my baby¡¯s

    heartbeat for the first time.

    I didn¡¯t sleepst night. My whole body was bubbling with excitement as I thought about the moment I would see my baby. I kept imagining feeling her move inside me and holding her for the first time. I finally slept after hours of tossing and my imagination ying wild, and when I did, it was with a smile

    on my face.

    When I woke up, my excitement was still there. I went through my whole routine with a little bounce in my steps and I¡¯ve been like that since.

    ¡°Si.¡± Once again I had spaced out, and her voice pulls me back to the present.

    ¡°I will, mom¡­ and you¡¯ll be the first to get the ultrasound pictures.¡±

    We hang up, and I grab my keys, heading out into the crisp morning air.

    The drive to the clinic is smooth, though my mind is a constant swirl. I couldn¡¯t turn it off no matter how I tried. shes of what my baby might look like, how small they must still be and the hope that everything is fine were a constant in my head.

    When I arrive, I park close <i>to </i>the entrance and take a moment in the car to steady myself. My reflection in the rearview shows wide, alert eyes and a smile that keeps trying to peek through.

    When I finally feel ready, I get out of my car and head for the clinic. Inside, the faint scent of disinfectant and something floral greets me.

    At the front desk, a neatly dressed secretary looks up with a polite smile. ¡°Good morning. Name?¡±

    ¡°Sierra Meyers¡±

    She checks herputer screen, typing away until she looks at me. ¡°Please fill these forms for me.¡±

    She hands me some papers and I fill them out as required.

    ¡°You can take a seat; we¡¯ll call your name shortly,¡± she says and takes the forms from me once I¡¯m done.

    I choose a seat near theer, letting my gaze drift over the waiting room. A small pang catches in my chest when I see two women resting their hands on rounded bellies, their partners beside them, heads bent together in quiet conversation. A kind of intimacy that¡¯s hard not to miss.

    I¡¯m happy to be here. I really am. But there¡¯s a longing in seeing those shared moments, the kind that remind me I¡¯m doing this alone. That the father of my child didn¡¯t want anything to do with them.

    I honestly never imagined this. I always thought that I¡¯d have my husband with me. That he¡¯ll be there through every milestone, showering me with love, support and strength.

    I never thought that things would turn out different and that for a moment makes my heart constrict as if

    being squeezed.

    The feeling threatens to ruin my good mood, so I remind myself that I¡¯m not alone. I have my baby, my mom, my aunts and Lilly¡­ but even after that, the absence still stings. It still lingers like a phantom ghost.

    I force my gaze away before I can sink deeper.

    A few seats over, I notice a woman sitting by herself, tapping her fingers nervously against her knee. Given her bump, it¡¯s obvious she¡¯s a bit further along than me. For a moment, our eyes meet. She offers a soft, knowing smile, and I return it. It¡¯s like for that brief moment we found kindred spirits in each other. That makes me feel less alone and my heart less heavy.

    My phone buzzes again. I check and find messages from my aunts and from Lilly.

    You¡¯ve got this, love!

    Can¡¯t wait to hear all about it.

    Our little peanut!

    Their words wrap around me like a soft nket, calming the nervousness in my chest and chasing away the sting. Once again, my heart settles and my joyes back as if it never left.

    ¡°Sierra Meyers?¡±

    I stand, tucking my phone away and smoothing my shirt as I follow her down a quiet hallway.

    A man in a white coat greets me with an easy smile as I step into the examination room.

    ¡°I¡¯m Dr. Adrian Cole,¡± he says, offering his hand.

    His grip is firm but warm, his voice smooth with a slight husk that makes it oddlyforting. He¡¯s tall, with dark hair that falls neatly but still looks like it would be soft to the touch, and his hazel eyes are the kind you notice. They don¡¯t just look at you, they see you. The kind of eyes that you feel states deep into your soul

    <i>2/2 </i>

 Figured 575

    ¡°This is your first appointment with us, right?¡± he asks.

    I nod, suddenly aware of how my heart has picked up. ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°Alright, then I¡¯ll walk you through everything we¡¯re going to do today,¡± he says, gesturing toward the

    examination table.

    I lie back as he exins the procedure in detail¨Cthe gel, the probe, and what we might see and hear.

    ¡°Alright, lift your shirt just above your stomach,¡± he says gently. ¡°And fair warning, the gel is a bit cold

    When he squeezes it onto my belly, I flinch with augh. ¡°You weren¡¯t kidding.¡±

    He smiles briefly, then moves the wand over my stomach, watching the monitor with practiced focus. The room is quiet for a beat and then there it is¨Ca soft, rapid thump filling the room. My baby¡¯s heartbeat.

    My chest tightens and my eyes sting with tears. I can¡¯t stop smiling.

    ¡°That¡¯s your baby¡¯s heartbeat,<i>¡± </i>Adrian says softly.

    Something in me cracks open. My throat tightens, and my eyes blur. I didn¡¯t realize how much I needed to hear this until now. My baby is real and not a figment of my imagination or anything like that.

    For a moment it feels like the heavens have opened up for me. I can¡¯t really describe it, can¡¯t put it into

    words, but the feeling is out of this world.

    Dr. Adrian turns the screen toward me. The image sharpens, and I see the tiniest bean¨Cshaped figure. My heart swells, overflowing with a warmth I¡¯ve never felt before.

    I¡¯m in love. Completely, hopelessly in love

    Lord, I¡¯ve never felt like this. I thought I knew love. Thought that I¡¯ve loved. My family, my aunt and

    uncles, Lilly, and Noah, but this is different. This is stronger and much more overwhelming. This is a

    different kind of love. It¡¯s like my heart has been cracked wide open and healed at the same time.

    ¡°You¡¯re about eight weeks along,¡± Adrian exins, pointing to measurements on the screen. ¡°That means conception likely happened around¡­¡± He gives me a date range, and my stomach dips, knowing the date

    very well. ¡°Your due date is inte March.¡±

    He continues, going over prenatal vitamins, diet rmendations, and my next appointment. When the ultrasound is done, he wipes away the gel, then asks, ¡°Would you like a few printed pictures?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± I say without hesitation.

    ¡°Alright, wait in the lounge and I¡¯ll get them ready for you.¡±

    <b>+15 </b>BONUS

    In the waiting room again, I immediately call Mom to tell her everything. The heartbeat, the tiny shape on the screen, the due date. Her joy is so pure I almost cry all over again.

    When my name is called, I head to the desk, pay, and collect the vitamins they¡¯ve prescribed.

    I¡¯m typing a quick message to Lilly when I step outside¨Cwhen a horn res.

    I look up, just to see a car inches away from me. I close my eyes, waiting for the impact but instead I feel <i>a </i>rush of air and then a firm grip on my arm. I¡¯m pulled back just as the car speeds past.

    My heart ms against my ribs. My breaths areing out raggedly. I close my eyes for a brief second and take a deep breath, just to try to calm my racing heart..

    Fuck, that was so close. I¡¯d almost been hit, and I could have lost my baby all because I wasn¡¯t being careful.

    ¡°Are you okay<b>?</b><b>¡± </b>

    I look up. It¡¯s Dr. Adrian.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± I breathe, trying to steady myself. ¡°I was just¡­ a bit distracted.¡±

    He nods, still holding my gaze. ¡°You forgot these,¡± he says, holding out the ultrasound photos.

    I take them carefully. ¡°Thank you. For¡­ everything.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s nothing. Just be careful out here,¡± he says, a faint smile tugging at his mouth before he turns back toward the clinic.

    In my car, I take a picture of the ultrasound and send it to Mom first, then my aunts and Lilly. My phone vibrates almost instantly with responses, but I¡¯m already on the road, the image of my little bean burned into my mind.

    When I pull into my driveway, I step out and notice something tucked into the gap of my garage door. A small folded note.

    I open it.

    Two words, written in sharp ck ink:

    Next time.

    A chill runs through me, but I shake it off. Probably some silly prank from neighborhood kids. They¡¯re known to cause trouble. I crumple it, toss it into the trash bin, and head inside, my mind fixed on the little heartbeat I heard today.

 Figured 576

    Noah

    The hum of the car blends with Nn¡¯s off¨Ckey singing from the backseat, a tune I couldn¡¯t ce but <b>one </b>he¡¯s singing with so much conviction I didn¡¯t have the heart to stop him.

    Beside him, Nova is trying to braid her doll¡¯s hair while instructing her brother, rather loudly, that he¡¯s singing it wrong.

    ¡°It¡¯s, not na¨Cna¨Cna, Nn,<i>¡± </i>she insists, her tone carrying all the authority of a five¨Cyear¨Cold who believes she¡¯s queen of the world.

    He rolls his eyes but keeps singing, and louder this time. ¡°You¡¯re wrong, Nova. I¡¯m the big brother. I know everything.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re only eight minutes older<i>,</i><i>¡± </i>she shoots back.

    I chuckle under my breath, ncing at them in the rearview mirror.

    ¡°Dad, when can we go to the toy store again and buy a new set of Legos?¡± Nn asks, eyes bright in the rearview mirror.

    ¡°When you finish the one you already have,¡± I reply, one corner of his mouth lifting.

    ¡°But I already finished it,¡± Nn protests.

    There is no denying that the twins are mine. They have that stubborn streak that runs in the Wood family. Once they set their mind on something, they stubbornly go after it.

    ¡°You finished building it,¡± Nova chimes in without looking up. ¡°But then you made it a spaceship and broke it.¡±

    I chuckle as Nn groans in defeat.

    These were the moments I live for¨Csimple, unfiltered and filled with the kind of warmth nothing else could buy.

    They never fail to make my day. No matter what happens,ing home to them? Watching them? Loving them? Always has a way of easing the heaviness in my heart and lighting the darkness that has surrounded me since Chloe died.

    We pull into my parents¡® driveway, the familiar sight of the big house instantly easing the knots in my shoulders.

    Fridays meant dinner. It¡¯s been a tradition since I can remember. It doesn¡¯t matter what you are doing or where you are, Friday dinners are a must.

    Chloe used to love them because Mom always taught her new recipes, plus she got to bond with everyone. While I would drag my feet and insist on arrivingter, she always wanted to arrive earlier. I used to grumble about it but now I miss those moments. Now, I¡¯d even arrive three hours earlier if it meant she got to stay with me.

    Before I could even unbuckle my seatbelt, Nn and Nova were already scrambling out, racing up the porch steps. Theirughter echoed through the front hall before the door even closed behind them.

    ¡°Grandma! Grandpa!¡± I hear them shout for their grandparents.

    I linger a moment, leaning against the car. The air is cool against my skin, but it <i>does </i>nothing to ease my

    worry.

    Sierra hasn¡¯t called. She hasn¡¯t shown up at my office again, nor has she texted. Not a word. I¡¯d expected her to push relentlessly until I gave her the answer she wanted. Instead, silence. And somehow, that

    silence weighs heavier than her voice ever could.

    My mind came up with all kinds of scenarios. What if she¡¯s biding her time, waiting for the perfect time to strike? I wouldn¡¯t put it past her. She¡¯s a snake and I don¡¯t know how others can¡¯t see her for what she is. She¡¯s probably waiting for the perfect time to ruin my life. I won¡¯t let her. She will never take Chloe¡¯s ce. I¡¯ll die before I let her into my life.

    Pushing thoughts of her aside, I get in. Inside, the scent of roast chicken and fresh bread pulls me toward the kitchen. I barely make it three steps before a blur of motion leaps onto my back.

    ¡°Gotcha! Guess who?¡±

    I didn¡¯t even have to guess; even blindfolded I¡¯d still know her.

    ¡°Iris,¡± Iugh, swinging my youngest sister off my back and setting her on her feet.

    She¡¯s grinning, cheeks flushed, wearing one of those oversized sweaters she practically lives in.

    ¡°You¡¯re getting old<i>,</i><i>¡± </i>she teased. ¡°That spin used to be faster.¡±

    ¡°Maybe you¡¯re just getting heavier.¡±

    At seventeen, it¡¯s uncanny how simr Iris looks to our mom. She¡¯s the spitting image of mom if Mom had blue eyes, which she got from her father.

    Technically speaking, Iris is my half¨Csister, but to me she¡¯s always just been my sister. From the first time I saw her when mom was in aa, I knew I would protect her with everything I¡¯ve got.

    ¡°I missed you,<i>¡± </i>she says, linking her arm through mine like she isn¡¯t nning to let go.

    ¡°You saw mest week,<b>¡± </b>I remind her.

    ¡°Yeah, so,¡± she deres. ¡°I still missed you.¡±

    Before I can respond, Emery and Olivia appear, the two of them talking over each other as they wrap me in a hug.

    ¡°You don¡¯t call enough,¡± Emeryins.

    ¡°I literally called you two days ago,¡± I say.

    ¡°Still not enough,¡± Olivia chimes in, giving my arm a yful punch. ¡°I want to hear from you every single

    day.¡±

    Iugh, holding all three of them close for a moment before they reluctantly let go. For all our bickering, I couldn¡¯t deny how much I love them.

    Our age gap is ring, given I¡¯m twenty¨Cseven, while Emery and Olivia are Fifteen and thirteen, respectively, but we are all still close. All three of them have my heart in the palm of their hands and I would do anything for them.

    X

 Figured 577

    Apart from the twins, they¡¯re the other reason I didn¡¯t end things even when I felt like I couldn¡¯t live a second longer. They would have been devastated, and I¡¯ve never wanted to be the reason they¡¯re hurting.

    ¡°How have you been, big brother?¡± Iris asks, concern hidden in the depths of her blue eyes.

    ¡°Busy,¡± I answer. ¡°Both the twins andpany are keeping me busy.¡±

    ¡°I know it¡¯s not easy raising kids alone, but we are here,<i>¡± </i>she says softly. ¡°Never forget that you have a support system. You don¡¯t have to be strong all the time.¡±

    Fuck! I have the best sisters in the world and goddamn it, am I proud of them and the women they¡¯re

    bing.

    My throat closes and before I can say anything, Mom¡¯s voice carries from the kitchen. ¡°Noah! Stop hogging your sisters ande here.¡±

    We look at each other and grin before following the sound.

    The moment I step into the kitchen, I walk straight into her arms.

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± she murmurs before even letting me go.

    ¡°Nothing,¡± I reply, too quickly. ¡°Just haven¡¯t been sleeping well.¡±

    She gives me that knowing look only mothers have. Her eyes narrow.

    ¡°A mother always knows when something is up, even when you don¡¯t want to admit it¡­. and you¡¯ve lost

    weight in thest week.¡±

    I deflect,pletely avoiding her eyes, afraid if she digs in too much, she¡¯ll find the secrets I¡¯m trying my

    damn hardest to keep hidden.

    <i>¡°</i>Where¡¯s Dad?¡±

    <b>¡°</b>In his study,¡± she says, her gaze still searching mine. ¡°He¡¯ll be here soon.¡±

    The <b>twins </b>are already giggling with their aunts, filling the house with that contagious kind of joy that

    makes the walls feel warmer

    For some time, I thought about moving back with my family. Without Chloe, it no longer felt like a home.

    All the warmth vanished with her, and all that was left were echoes of the past and a coldness that was

    etched into the walls

    ¡°Help me set the table,¡± Mom instructs

    I¡¯m halfway throughying out the silverware when Dad walks in. His face lights up at the sight of the

    twins, and they run straight into his arms.

    He lifts them effortlessly, kissing each of them on the cheek.

    ¡°Missed you, Grandpa!¡± they chorus.

    ¡°Missed you two troublemakers,¡± he says.

    ¡°What about me?¡± I tease dad. ¡°Don¡¯t I matter?¡±

    Iris snickers, while Emery and Olivia giggle.

    ¡°No,¡± he teases with a smile. ¡°Only my grandkids and my girls matter.¡±

    ¡°Mom,¡± I whine, causing the twins tough at my childish behavior

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry<i>,</i>¡± she winks. ¡°You¡¯re still my baby boy.¡±

    I stick my tongue out at them, and they do the same.

    When everything¡¯s ready, we all sit down¨Ceight of us packed around the table, voices ovepping, jokes flying from one end to the other.

    I lean back in my chair, letting the chatter wash over me. Here, it is easy to forget the rest of the world. To forget my pain. To forget that I¡¯m living with only half a heart.

    Everything was going perfectly until Mom sets her fork down and announces, ¡°I have good news.¡±

    ¡°What, you¡¯re having another baby?¡± Iris teases, leaning forward with anticipation.

    Mom rolls her eyes. ¡°No. But Sierra is.¡°<i>. </i>

    The words m into me like a blow to the chest. My fork slips in my hand. The room seems too narrow and every sound is distant except the pounding of my heartbeat. For a fucking moment it feels like I can¡¯t breathe. Like my heart stopped beating.

    The table erupts in happiness with the girls squealing like their lives depend on it. Like I said, everyone loves Sierra, including my sisters. I¡¯ve never been able to understand what they see in that fucking leech.

    Then the questions start.

    ¡°How far along is she?¡± Emery asks.

    ¡°Boy or girl?¡± Olivia adds.

    ¡°Is she getting married?¡± Iris¡¯s eyes sparkle with curiosity.

    And then Dad¡¯s voice cuts through: ¡°So¡­ who¡¯s the father<b>? </b>Is he a good man? Someone credible and

    reliable.¡±

    I choke on my food. Every head turns toward me and I find myself fighting to keep myposure. To act

    like his question didn¡¯t rattle me. To act unbothered.

    ¡°You okay, Noah?¡± Mom asks, her eyes narrowing.

    I swallow hard and force a nod. ¡°Yeah. Food just went down the wrong pipe, that¡¯s all.¡±

    Her gaze lingers on me, sharp and assessing, as if she¡¯s slowly putting pieces of a puzzle together. She

    hums and turns back to the rest.

    The conversation returns to Sierra. Everyone is gushing, already making ns to spoil her child. Iris even

    announces she¡¯ll be the official babysitter.

    I clench my jaw, keeping my expression neutral. But inside, my thoughts are already racing as panic

    seizes me.

    I need to talk to Sierra tonight. I need to know if she told my mom anything because if she so much as

    did, there will be hell to pay.

 Figured 578

    The table is alive with noise. Nn¡¯s telling some wild story about his ser practice, Nova interrupting every other sentence to ¡°correct¡± him, and my sisters areughing their asses off.

    I try to listen, I really do, but my mom¡¯s voice from earlier still pulses in my ears.

    The words are like a rock dropped into still water. The ripples just keep spreading, distorting everything around them and making it hard for me to breathe. Making it hard for me to focus on anything except what Mom and Sierra might have talked about.

    I keep my head down, pushing food around my te while joining in when I can.

    I need to talk to Sierra. I need to find out what she told my mother. I need to know if Mom suspects

    anything.

    Sierra is cunning. She¡¯s like a snake that slithers silently through the grass and you only notice it when

    it¡¯s toote. When it has already struck.

    The way my mom kept throwing nces at me, is like she knows something¡­ Or if she doesn¡¯t, she

    suspects something.

    Every now and then, I catch her watching me from the corner of her eye, with a soft, knowing gaze. It¡¯s the one that can peel a man down to his bones without her saying a word.

    I shift in my seat and look away, joining in on Nn¡¯s chatter about school just to keep her from asking

    anything in front of everyone.

    But it doesn¡¯t stop her. It never did.

    When Iugh along with my sisters¡® banter, she¡¯s still watching. When my dad tells a ridiculous story about the time Nn tried to ¡°fix<b>¡± </b>thewnmower by shoving a stic spoon into it, she¡¯s still watching. It¡¯s like she can sense every thought and every secret I¡¯m holding back.

    I deal with businessmenwith minds as sharp as a knife, but none of them can make me squirm like my

    mother can.

    ¡°That¡¯s not what happened!¡± Nova pipes up, pulling me back to the present. She¡¯s giggling as she shoves a piece of bread toward my mouth. ¡°You forgot the part where the ball hit Coach in the face!¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s because you threw it,¡± Nn says, smirking at her.

    ¡°It was an ident!¡±

    I bite into the bread Nova is still holding and exaggerate a groan. ¡°Mmm, I think this bread is even better

    when Nova serves it to me.¡±

    She beams, pleased with herself, while Nn rolls his eyes and mutters, ¡°Teacher¡¯s pet.¡±

    Theughter at the table swells again, but I still can¡¯t get rid of the unease in my heart.

    Mom¡¯s gaze is still on me, unflinching and unwavering.

    It doesn¡¯t matter if I join in on Nn¡¯s ser drama or tease Nova about her ¡°idental¡± aim¨Cshe¡¯s

    watching.

    Her behavior just makes me more desperate to find out what Sierra told her. I¡¯m sure the bitch ran to my mom the first chance she got and told her about her pregnancy.

    This is probably a tactic she¡¯s fucking using to trap and rope me into her life and the baby¡¯s. She probably started by giving my mom just enough information to make her ask questions and start digging.

    When Mom starts digging for answers, she doesn¡¯t stop until she gets what she¡¯s looking for. Once the truth is uncovered, then there won¡¯t be going back. I¡¯ll be forced to take responsibility and Sierra will win.

    It¡¯s subtle, and she won¡¯t have to anything, while ensuring that things go her way¡­ I can¡¯t let that fucking

    happen.

    When dinner wraps up, the twins drag me to the living room for a game of ¡°monster chase.¡± Nn whacks my leg with a stic sword while Nova wraps her arms around my neck to ¡°capture¡± me. Their giggles echo through the room, and for a few minutes, the weight in my chest eases.

    Then I hear my dad¡¯s voice. ¡°Noah, join me in the study for a minute?¡±

    The twins groan in protest, but I give them each a tickle before following him and leaving them in the capable arms of my mom and sisters. They¡¯ll keep them upied for however long dad wants to talk to <ol><li>me. </li></ol>

    The study smells the same as it always has. Leather and old books. My dad settles into the chair behind his desk, gesturing for me to sit across from him.

    ¡°How are you, son?¡± he asks, leaning back.

    His grey eyes, so simr to mine, study me¡­ but not in the same way Mom¡¯s did. This is more assessing than trying to reveal my secrets.

    I rx, just a tiny bit.

    ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± I reply automatically.

    It¡¯s only now that I realize how I¡¯ve been saying that a lottely. Am I lying? Definitely, but I can¡¯t have them worrying about me every single time.

    His brows lift. ¡°You look tired.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve been busy.¡±

    He nods slowly, not pressing. ¡°I wanted to talk about thepany. The board¡¯s on track with the transition n. We can start the handover officially within the next two months.¡±

    ¡°That soon?<b>¡± </b>I ask.

    His mouth tugs into a smile. ¡°I¡¯m ready to retire, Noah. Spend more time with your mom and your sisters. I¡¯ve worked for more than twenty years; it¡¯s time for me to retire and for you to take the reins fully.<b>¡± </b>

    The thought hits heavier than I expect. I¡¯ve been preparing for this for years, but hearing him say it out

    loud makes it real.

    ¡°I know you¡¯re ready,¡± he continues. ¡°I saw it when you were eleven, standing next to me at the kitchen counter, helping me bnce the ounts for the first time.¡±

    I¡¯ll admit that for some time when I was nine or ten, I lost respect for my dad after finding out the cruelty he made mom go through. I couldn¡¯t understand how the man I had admired could do something to hurt my mom like that. He eventually built the respect he lost after he redeemed himself with my mom.

    Aren¡¯t you doing the same thing to Sierra? A voice asks,

    I stop but push that thought away. My mom was innocent; Sierra isn¡¯t. She deserves this, while my mom

    didn¡¯t.

    I smirk despite myself. ¡°I only agreed because you promised me twenty bucks.¡±

    ¡°And I did give you the money,¡± he chuckles. ¡°But you stayed up until midnight asking me questions

    about profit margins.¡±

    The memory warms me for a second before reality sinks back in. I nod, forcing my focus on him. ¡°I¡¯m

    ready, Dad.¡±

    ¡°Good. We¡¯ll talk more next week.¡±

    When we returned to the living room, the twins were piled on my sisters, who were in the middle of

    nning a weekend ¡°kidnapping¡± so they could have the kids all to themselves. My mom¡¯sughing with

    them, but her eyes flick to me again.

    I avoid her gaze, busying myself by helping clear the table.

    ¡°Something is wrong,¡± she murmurs when I pass her a te.

    I freeze before replying, ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡±

    She hums low but her eyes are unconvinced.

    The rest of the evening passes in a blur.

    We say our goodbyes, the twins getting smothered in hugs from their aunts and grandparents. Once they

    are buckled in the car, I slide into the driver¡¯s seat and immediately dial Lilly¡¯s number.

 Figured 579

    <b>Chapter </b>579

    Lilly answers on the third ring, her voice clipped. ¡°What do you want?¡±

    <b>¡°</b>I need Sierra¡¯s number,¡± I said tly<b>. </b>

    Silence. Then, ¡°Why<b>?</b>¡±

    ¡°I have something to discuss with her.¡±

    Her tone sharpens instantly. ¡°If this is about the pregnancy, Noah-¡±

    <b>¡°</b><b>It </b>is,¡± <b>I </b>cut in.

    A tense pause, and then she threatens, ¡°I swear if you upset her, I¡¯ll fucking castrate you, Noah¡­ I¡¯ll make sure your child with Si will be thest kid you¡¯ll ever have.¡±

    I snort at her threat. She says that like it¡¯s a bad thing. Nn and Nova are the only children I will ever have. In fact, I should look into getting a fucking vasectomy.

    ¡°Just send the number, Lilly.¡±

    She mutters something under her breath before hanging up. Ten secondster, her text pops up on my

    screen.

    I slide the phone into my pocket and start the car, my pulse pounding and nervousness clinging to me like a fucking leech.

    I drive like a man possessed. My hands grip the wheel hard enough to ache, eyes fixed unseeing on the road ahead. Streetlights streaked past, but my mind is already with Sierra, reying every possible conversation we might have. Every mile I close between me and home makes the coil in my chest tighten. When I finally pull into the driveway, the twins are already half¨Casleep. Nn barely stirs when I carry him into the house, his hand curling around my finger before I gently freeing it. Nova mumbles something incoherent as I tuck her in, brushing her hair back from her forehead

    The moment the moment their door clicks shut behind me, I¡¯m already dialing Sierra.

    She answers on the fourth ring, her voice groggy with sleep. ¡°Hello?<b>¡± </b>

    My pulse increases at how sweet and innocent her voice sounds. If only she were like that. If only she wasn¡¯t a two¨Cfaced, conniving bitch.

    ¡°What did you tell my mother about the pregnancy<b>?</b>¡± <b>I </b>snap, skipping any kind of greeting. There wasn¡¯t any need anyway. Someone like Sierra doesn¡¯t deserve any kind of consideration or respect.

    There was a pause. <b>¡°</b>Noah?¡±

    ¡°Yes! Now answer my damn question.¡±

    Her voice cools instantly. ¡°What right do you have calling me and demanding answers to questions I have no idea about?¡±

    ¡°You know exactly what I¡¯m talking about. If you don¡¯t answer me, I¡¯ll-¡±

    Before I even finish the threat, the line goes dead.

    For a second, I just stare at the phone, the silence roaring in my ears. I blink in disbelief, still shocked by her audacity.

    She fucking hung up on me. I can¡¯t believe she has the nerve to hang up on me. Who the fuck does she

    think she is?

    The shock evaporates fast, leaving a hot, ugly, burning anger in its ce.

    ¡°How dare she?¡± I growl, the words tearing out of me with a ferocity I can barely contain.

    I need to talk to her. If she won¡¯t talk to me through the phone, then I¡¯ll go to her.

    I¡¯m halfway to grabbing my keys, ready to drive to her and rip the truth from her lying lips myself, when a

    softer voice cut in.

    ¡°Noah? What¡¯s wrong?¡±

    I turn to find Brook standing in the hallway, drowning in an oversized sweater, hair mussed from sleep, but her eyes, sharp and steady, are locked on me.

    ¡°Nothing,¡± I say automatically.

    Her mouth curves in a humorless little knowing smile. ¡°You can¡¯t lie to me. I know you too well. You¡¯re pissed about something.¡±

    I¡¯ve known Brook for as long as I¡¯ve known Chloe. She was there through every step of my rtionship with Chloe. She was close <i>to </i>her sister and because of that I became close to her too. I consider her my

    sister in every way, not just through marriage.

    One of the things Chloe made me promise on her dying bed was that I¡¯d protect and look after Brook long after she¡¯s gone. That¡¯s what I¡¯ve been doing and will continue to do until my dying breath. The moment I married Chloe, Brook became part of my family.

    She walks toward me slowly, each step deliberate, her eyes steady on mine. She then takes my hand and tugs me toward the couch. ¡°Come on. Sit and tell me what¡¯s bothering you

    I sit tense and wound up, still vibrating with anger. She might be three years younger than me, but in that moment, she looks every bit asposed as someone who could hold the ground in any conversation.

    And for some reason I can¡¯t exin, I tell her everything. The pregnancy. The fight. Sierra¡¯s reaction. My own reaction. Every single fucking thing.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to betray your sister,¡± I finish, my voice low and full of the weight of guilt. ¡°I wasn¡¯t in my right mind that night.¡±

    Brook¡¯s expression doesn¡¯t so much as flicker into shock or judgement. She just leans back, eyes assessing me like she¡¯s weighing each word. ¡°I understand. And I don¡¯t me you for it.¡±

    Something inside me eases, like a screw that had been tightened <i>too </i>far finally letting go.

    ¡°I me Sierra,¡± she says, her eyes narrowing. ¡°She probably wants to baby trap you.¡±

    A sigh of relief leaves my lips. I now have someone in my corner. Someone who <i>sees </i>Sierra for the snake

    she is.

    ¡°That¡¯s what I was thinking too.¡±

    She goes on, her tone calm but cutting. ¡°The baby needs to be dealt with. If you let this happen, Sierra will always have a trump card over you. You think she won¡¯t use it? She¡¯s wanted you for years. Even when you were married to my sister. This is exactly what she¡¯s been waiting for.¡±

    Her words slide into me like a de, sharp and precise, hitting every ce I¡¯d tried to ignore. What kind of woman covets her friend¡¯s husband? What kind of twisted shamelessness is that? I thought her obsession with me ended when I got married, but I guessed wrong.

    ¡°You really believe that?¡± I ask quietly, even though deep down I know it¡¯s the truth. I know she would use

    the baby to tie me to her.

    Brook¡¯s gaze doesn¡¯t waver. ¡°I know it. She¡¯s not carrying this baby out of the goodness of her heart. She knows exactly what she¡¯s doing. And if you let this happen, If you let her continue with this pregnancy, you¡¯ll never get rid of her.<i>¡± </i><i>¨C </i>

    She¡¯s fucking right. Sierra doesn¡¯t have a fucking heart, so her insisting on keeping the baby isn¡¯t because she has a good heart but because she wants to use the baby against me.

    A slow, grim smile curves my lips. Not the kind born of joy, but of recognition.

    ¡°Finally,¡± I said quietly. ¡°Someone who gets it.¡±

    Gunner didn¡¯t get it and neither did Lilly. My parents will never get it because they love Sierra, but at least there is one person who does.

    Brook leans forward slightly, her eyes glinting. ¡°You don¡¯t want this baby and you shouldn¡¯t be forced to take it into your life. Handle it, Noah. Before it¡¯s toote.¡±

    The coil inside me tightens again, but this time it isn¡¯t frustration. It¡¯s resolve. Cold, deliberate

    determination.

    I exhale, the decision hardening inside me like stone. ¡°I will. I¡¯m not letting Sierra take your sister¡¯s ce.¡±

    Brook smiles with approval. ¡°Good. Then we¡¯re on the same page.¡®

 Figured 580

    Brook squeezes my hand once before letting go, her expression softening. ¡°You should deal with this, Noah. Don¡¯t let it drag out. The longer it hangs over you, the more power she has¡­ and someone like her? You have to crush them before they be too powerful.¡±

    Her words sink deep, leaving cracks in my already frayingposure. It¡¯s thest push I need to deal

    with Sierra.

    I force a smile for her sake, and it takes everything in me to maintain it.

    She stands up, kisses my cheek, and murmurs, ¡°Goodnight.¡±

    When she disappears down the hall, the silence hits me like a weight. Alone again, my mind begins

    spinning, faster and darker with every second.

    The walls of the house press in, suffocating me in the process. My pulse won¡¯t settle and every thought

    circles back to Sierra.

    I yank my phone from the table and call her.

    It rings thrice before she hangs up.

    I stare at the screen, disbelief burning into rage.

    I call again. This time she hangs up faster. The sound of disconnection, ringing like a loud bell that won¡¯t

    stop.

    I stare at the screen, chest heaving at the audacity she has. Has she grown too confident now that she thinks she has an ace card? She was never like this. She used to bow her head and give in to everything I

    said, but now because of this damn baby, she¡¯s grown bold.

    My jaw clenches as I press her number a third time, but it goes straight to voicemail.

    Does she think that¡¯s going to stop me? That it¡¯s going to make me leave her alone? She¡¯s dead wrong if

    she thinks that¡¯s all it takes to fucking stop me.

    Rage detonates inside my chest like a bomb, hot and uncontroble. She thinks she can toy with me. Thinks she can dangle this nightmare over my head and then disappear. If she won¡¯t take my calls, then I¡¯ll go to her. She thinks she can make choices that involve me without consequence? I¡¯ll make sure she

    knows just how wrong she is.

    I can¡¯t wait another day. Can¡¯t sit in this house while she shuts me out, while the thought of that baby gnaws through my ribs like acid. While she makes moves to tether me to her.

    I grab my keys, ready to face the lying bitch Keys in hand, I storm out of the house and get in my car.

    The road blurs under the headlights, my pulse thrumming with every mile. My eyes face forward,

    unseeing, but my mind is sharper than ever. Cutting and vicious.

    Ideas slip through the cracks of my rage.

    If she refuses to listen, Then I¡¯ll make her.

    If she¡¯s stubborn, I¡¯ll break until she yields.

    If she pushes back, I¡¯ll push harder.

    If she thinks she can y games with me, she¡¯s about to learn who she¡¯s up against.

    And if she still insists on keeping it, then she¡¯ll regret it

    I think of anything and everything I can use against her. Ideas on how I can bend her will to mine sh through my head at lightning speed. I need something that will bury her. Something that will make her abandon the stupid idea of keeping the baby.

    She¡¯s living in a fairytale where she thinks I¡¯ll ept her and the baby. Where we are one big happy fucking family. I need to show her that will never happen. That dream she¡¯s had since we were kids? It

    will nevere true as long as I¡¯m breathing.

    By the time I pull into her driveway, my decision is already made.

    I stalk up to her door and pound my fist against it, hard enough to rattle the frame.

    I don¡¯t care about the hour. Don¡¯t care about the neighbors. This ends tonight.

    Sierra¡¯s POV

    The pounding drags me from sleep.

    At first, I thought it was part of a dream, but it just kept going, heavy, noisy and unrelenting. I groan and bury my face into the pillow.

    ¡°Arrg,¡± I scream into it, my tears threatening to fall.

    Seriously! I¡¯d just fallen asleep after Noah interrupted my sleep with his bullshit. I just want to freaking

    sleep; is that too much to ask?

    I stay curled in bed, covers wrapped tight, praying it will stop. Hoping against all hopes it will go back to being quiet. But it doesn¡¯t. Each m against my door vibrates through the windows, each bellow of my name slicing into my nerves.

    I know that voice like I know the back of my hand.

    Noah.

    My chest tightens with dread, but anger quickly rises to meet it. I¡¯m not going to feed his tantrum. I¡¯m not

    opening that door. Not tonight. Not ever, if I can help it. He can stand out there in the cold all night for all

    I care.

    I was resolute in my decision¨Cthat is, until my phone buzzed with a call from my neighbor from next

    door.

    ¡°Miss Meyers?¡± the tired, sharp voice snaps. ¡°If you don¡¯t handle the man pounding on your door, I¡¯ll call the police.¡±

    My blood runs cold as panic slides down my spine. That is thest thing I need. Cops on my doorstep arresting Noah. It won¡¯t even take half an hour before reporters smell a fresh kill and they¡¯re here with

    cameras.

 Figured 581

    The incident will blow up, and tomorrow¡¯s gossip columns and headlines will be screaming about the arrest of Wood Corp¡¯s heir. My name would be dragged in there.

    People will start asking questions, and we can all agree that I do not want any of our family finding out

    about this.

    ¡°I¡¯ll handle it,¡± I mutter, hanging up before she could say more.

    Cursing under my breath, I shove off the covers and stomp to the door. My anger burns hot, cutting

    through my exhaustion and it zes hotter with every step I take.

    I wrench it open and re at him.

    Noah stands there, shoulders rigid. Chest heaving and eyes wild. His fists are tight at his sides and he

    looks like barely contained violence, like every muscle in his body is begging tosh out.

    The target? Me.

    ¡°What the hell is wrong with you?¡± My voice shakes through the hallway, sharp and unafraid.

    ¡°You turned your phone off,¡± he barks, stepping closer. ¡°You think you can ignore me?¡±

    ¡°I can and I did,¡± I spit. ¡°You don¡¯t get to demand anything from me, Noah.¡±

    His jaw clenches, a muscle ticking in his cheek. ¡°You think you¡¯re clever? Running your mouth to my mother? Telling her about the pregnancy? What exactly did you say to her?¡±

    Huh. So he thinks I¡¯m the one that told Aunt Ava? Why does he always assume the worst in me? What even gave him the impression that I¡¯m the one who told her? Or is he just looking for someone to me?

    My chest constricts. ¡°So that¡¯s what this is about. You wake me up in the middle of the night and disturb my neighbors just to use me of something I didn¡¯t do?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t lie to me, Sierra.¡± His voice drops, cold and dangerous. ¡°You¡¯ve always wanted an in. Always wanted to tie yourself to me. Now you think this baby is your golden opportunity¡±

    I stare at him. For a moment words fail me. I don¡¯t know why or what gave him the impression that I¡¯d force myself on him. I loved him, but I¡¯m also not foolish. I would never tie myself to a man that hates me.

    I¡¯d rather die than ept such a fate.

    The words stab deep, slicing me wide open, but I refuse to let him see it.

    Straightening my back, I lift my chin. ¡°You think too highly of yourself, Noah Not everything in my life revolves around you.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t y innocent.¡± He steps closer, towering over me, rage radiating from him.

    443

    ¡°Screw you, Noah.¡±

    His re sharpens, his voice is filled with so much venom. ¡°You¡¯re going to get rid of it. One way or

    another.¡±

    The floor tilts under me and my hands shake. Those fucking words again. I¡¯m so tired of hearing them because every time he says them, it makes me think ofmitting murder.

    My blood boils and my nails dig into my palm just to stop myself from wing out his filthy mouth. ¡°Get rid of it? That¡¯s your grand solution? You think you can pretend nothing happened between us? That it¡¯ll erase your guilt? You think I don¡¯t know why you want my baby gone so badly?¡±

    I¡¯ve been thinking about it and I finally figured things out. This isn¡¯t just about Noah¡¯s hate for me; this is also about his loyalty to Chloe.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re talking about,¡± he sneers, but I see it in his eyes. His panic, his guilt.

    ¡°This is about Chloe and we both know it,¡± I say through gritted teeth. ¡°<b>If </b>only you knew the kind of

    woman you were married to.¡±

    He moves fast, and before I know it, he has my shoulders in a punishing grip. ¡°Don¡¯t you fucking talk

    about my wife like that.¡±

    ¡°You mean your dead wife.¡± I sneer before using all my strength to shove him off me. ¡°Killing my baby won¡¯t erase your guilt. It won¡¯t erase what you think is your mistake.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not my mistake,¡± he spits, his eyes zing. ¡°It¡¯s yours. And I won¡¯t let you drag me down with you.¡±

    The words hit me like a whip. My hands shake, but my voicees out cold, cutting. ¡°You¡¯re right about one thing, Noah, sleeping together wasn¡¯t just your mistake. It was ours. But if you think I¡¯ll let you dictate what happens to me or to my child, you¡¯re dead wrong.¡±

    His re sharpens, but I push on. ¡°You want to threaten me? Fine. But hear this¨Cif you evere near me like this again, if you ever try to corner me, I¡¯ll make sure everyone knows exactly what kind of man you really are. A man willing to kill his unborn child! That golden boy image you¡¯ve spent years carving. what do you think will happen then?¡±

    ¡°Are you threatening me?¡± he asks, his eyes cold and tone cial.

    ¡°It¡¯s a fucking warning,¡± I spit ¡°I¡¯m done with you walking all over me, Noah! Don¡¯t fucking test me. If youe for me again, I¡¯ll fucking destroy you. Stay the hell from me and my baby or else.¡±

    The wordsnd between us louder than his earlier pounding

    For the first time, Noah doesn¡¯t look furious. He looks rattled.

    And with that I m the door in his face.

 Figured 582

    Noah.

    <b>The </b>door ms in my face, the sound sharp and final, ricocheting through the quiet night like a gunshot.

    For a moment I just stand there, outside her porch, staring at the door while my brain tries to catch up

    with what just happened.

    My chest heaves, and my breath clouds in the cool air as things finally click. She actually shut me out.

    Sierra. Quiet, docile Sierra mmed her fucking door on my face.

    A disbelieving, humorlessugh scrapes out of me. Then the fury hits, burning through my veins like fire. My fist ms into the wall beside her door. The impact does nothing to contain the rage burning in my blood. Pain shoots through my arm but it doesn¡¯tpare to the way my pride feels cracked wide open.

    I wait, almost expecting her to open again, to realize her mistake and apologize, but the door remains closed. I hear nothing. No footsteps. No voice. Absolutely nothing.

    What the hell is going on? She used to do anything and everything I said. If I said jump, she¡¯d ask how high, but now she has the guts to go against me. All it ever took for her to back down was a frown from me, and yet now, even at the onught of my anger, she still stands unyielding. Refusing to bow down

    like she used to.

    ¡°Damn it!¡± he bark, feelingpletely helpless.

    I take a step back, drag both hands down my face, trying to pull myself together, but the rage refuses to be

    caged.

    By the time I wrench open my car door, I¡¯m shaking with adrenaline. I m it shut so hard that it rattles the ss. I grip the steering wheel until my knuckles whiten, breathing hard.

    Sierra not only resisted me; but she even had the guts to threaten me. Her words y in my head on a loop over and over again. Her eyes burned when she said them, boldly and unflinchingly, as if she were daring me to push her.

    It still feels like a fucking dream. Sierra. Timid Sierra had looked me dead in the eye and defied me. I¡¯d seen the steel in her gaze and felt the fury in her voice, and it unsettled me more than I care to admit.

    I wasn¡¯t dealing with the girl I used to know. I was now dealing with a woman that seemedpletely different from the pathetic girl that used to follow me around like a lost puppy.

    I picture her as she used to be¨Ctimid, soft¨Cspoken, herughter easy when I made a joke about her, her eyes bright whenever I gave her a scrap of attention. She¡¯d always been easy to bend, always eager to please. That girl would never have stood against him.

    Maybe it¡¯s because we haven¡¯t seen each other in six years. After all, six years is a long time <b>for </b>someone

    <i>to </i>remain the same.

    Fact is this version of her had steel in her backbone and wasn¡¯t afraid to go up against me¡­ and that scared me because it meant she¡¯d fight to the end just to keep this bay.

    I turn on the engine and it roars to life, headlights cutting through the dark street as I peel away from the curb.

    The road blurs. I don¡¯t see the lights, the houses, or the shadows slipping past. I only see her face. Not the girl I used to know. Not the girl who followed me around with soft eyes, who hung on every word, who practically worshipped the ground I walked on.

    Tonight, I saw someone else entirely. Someone fierce. Someone unyielding. She hadn¡¯t just stood against me; she had pushed back and thrown my own threats in my face without flinching.

    And God help me, because I didn¡¯t know how to deal with this version of her.

    I thought it would be easy to deal with her. Just like it had always been, but I¡¯m now realizing that maybe I had underestimated her.

    I shake my head violently, pressing harder on the gas, my grip tightening on the wheel until the leather creaks.

    I know what is happening. I can see it from miles away. Because she¡¯s carrying my child, she thinks that

    gives her power over me. Thinks she can chain me to her with it.

    I grit my teeth, jaw aching. ¡°She¡¯s wrong. Dead wrong.¡±

    Still¡­ a strange tightness lingers in my chest, one I can¡¯t shake. For the first time, Sierra didn¡¯t look at

    him with awe or admiration. She didn¡¯t look at me with respect, with fear or with reverence. No. Tonight

    she looked at me like I was nothing. Like my very presence disgusted her. Like she couldn¡¯t believe she

    ever wasted her time on someone like me.

    My grip tightens painfully. A memory shoves its way into my head. My father¡¯s hand on my shoulder years ago, his voice steady as he told me, ¡°Control is earned, son. Not demanded.¡± I used to respect those words. Tonight, they feel like chains.

    I curse under my breath, shaking the memory off. I don¡¯t need his lessons when I¡¯m dealing with Sierra. I don¡¯t need something else. Something more effective than wisdom. Sierra doesn¡¯t understand what she¡¯s

    doing. She doesn¡¯t see how dangerous this is for her, for me, for everything I¡¯ve built.

    The headlights carve through the darkness as I pull into my driveway, my mind still circling on how to

    deal with her.

    I sit there for a long moment with the engine idling, fingers drumming against the steering wheel, adrenaline still pumping through my veins.

    Finally, I cut the engine.

    Leaning forward, I rest my forehead against the wheel, just for a little while before I finally get out of the

    car.

    I drag my feet towards the house where Chloe¡¯s memories are still alive.

    Sierra is right about one thing, though; I¡¯m operating out of guilt. Out of the sense that I betrayed the woman I love. She¡¯ll never understand that. How can she when she is incapable of love? When she loves

    no one but herself?

    ¡°Have you dealt with her?¡± Brook¡¯s voice pulls me from my thought and scares the crap out of me in the

    process.

    I didn¡¯t even realize that I was already in the house or that I¡¯d been standing by the entrance.

    I school my features, masking my anger and bitterness.

    ¡°Not yet,¡± I answer her. ¡°But don¡¯t worry, I¡¯ll make sure to deal with it.¡±

    A look passes through her eyes, but it quickly disappears before I can interpret it.

    She nods her head before leaving, heading back to her room.

    I watch her back retreat and make a promise. Sierra is going to regret crossing me.

    If she won¡¯t willingly get rid of the baby, there are many ways to make sure she loses that pregnancy.

    Determination sets in my bones, but even as I silently make that promise, the words taste bitter and hollow because underneath the anger, beneath the fury that won¡¯t let me breathe, something else gnaws at me. A thought I can¡¯t silence no matter how hard I try.

    What if I¡¯m the one already losing? What if I¡¯m the one that ends up regretting?

    X

 Figured 583

    <b>Chapter </b><b>583 </b>

    Sierra.

    I wake to a dull ache low in my stomach. At first, it¡¯s faint, something I can almost ignore, but the longer <b>I </b>lie still, the sharper it feels.

    It feels like a cramp. Like the ones I got during my periods. My hand instinctively goes to my abdomen,

    pressing lightly, as if that alone could soothe it, and I give it time to ease. Maybe I slept in the wrong

    position or something.

    I don¡¯t want to but my mind drifts tost night. I still can¡¯t believe that he would show up, pounding on

    my door in the middle of the night. Who does that? What the hell has gotten into him? Does me having

    this baby bother him so much he can¡¯t even think straight? Can¡¯t think of the consequences if someone

    had filmed him or reporters got wind of this?

    I can¡¯t forget how his voice wasced with fury or how his eyes burned with hatred right before I mmed the door in his face. I haven¡¯t asked him to be in the baby¡¯s life; I actually want him out of it, so why does he insist on getting rid of my baby?

    Is this about his guilt because he thinks he betrayed Chloe, or is there something more? At first, I thought

    it was because he hated me, but does that hate extend to his own flesh and blood?

    Before I can spiral into my thoughts, another cramp seizes me. This one makes me wince. It twists and then fades, but not without leaving a trail of unease behind.

    I push myself out of bed, moving slowly toward the bathroom, all the while clutching my stomach. Maybe it¡¯s nothing. Maybe it¡¯s just the stress catching up to me. But when I sit down to pee and nce at my panties, the sight of blood makes my heart stop.

    ¡°No¡­¡± My voice cracks. My world tilting for a second.

    Panic ms into me so hard I nearly stumble as I stand. My legs tremble and my breathes fast. Before I know it, I¡¯m half¨Crunning out of the bathroom, fumbling for my phone on the nightstand. My fingers shake as I dial the clinic¡¯s number.

    ¡°Hello? Yes¨Cit¡¯s Sierra Meyers¡­¡± My voice is rushed and uneven, but I force myself to exin over the panic. ¡°I woke up cramping. And there¡¯s blood. Please, can I see someone? I-<b>¡± </b>

    The receptionist¡¯s calm tone grounds me. ¡°Don¡¯t panic, Sierra. I¡¯m sure it¡¯s nothing serious, but I can book an appointment for the next hour¡­ Is that okay?¡±

    ¡°Yes, I¡¯ll take it. Thank you. Thank you.¡± My voice trembles as I answer.

    ¡°Perfect then,¡± she says. ¡°I¡¯ll see you in an hour and please drive safely.¡±

    The call ends, and I don¡¯t waste a second. I don¡¯t even think about showering. I yank on the first clothes I

    ¡°Mother¡¯s instincts,¡± he says as a way of exnation.

    He stares at me for a while before continuing. ¡°What you experienced can happen for many reasons. Sometimes it¡¯s just the body adjusting. Sometimes stress ys a big role. But there¡¯s no sign of danger to your baby right now. What I want you to focus on is rest, keeping yourself calm, and avoiding unnecessary stress as much as possible.¡±

    I nod quickly, relief flooding every part of me. ¡°I¡¯ll try. I¨CI promise I¡¯ll try.¡±

    Damn it! That will be a hard promise to keep, especially with Noah breathing down my neck like a fucking dragon. Maybe I should really consider moving.

    He offers another reassuring smile. ¡°You¡¯re not alone in this. And you¡¯re stronger than you think.¡±

    Something about the way he says it makes warmth bloom in my chest. I blink at him, swallowing back the lump in my throat. ¡°I almost went crazy thinking that I was losing my baby.¡±

    ¡°It normal. It your first time being pregnant and anything out of the normal would worry you.¡±

    I smile as I pull my sweater down and get down from the examination bed. ¡°Really, thank you. For this

    and for that day, when you¡­ when you pulled me back from the car.¡±

    His smile deepens, though he shakes his head like it¡¯s nothing. ¡°Anyone would have done the same.¡±

    ¡°Not anyone,¡± I say quietly, holding his gaze for a moment longer.

    The silence lingers, not heavy but¡­ steady andfortable. Finally, I force myself to rise, giving him a grateful smile. ¡°Thank you again, Dr. Adrian.¡±

    Seriously? Why was I thanking him so much? I¡¯m starting to feel a bit embarrassed.

    ¡°It¡¯s always my pleasure to help,¡± he replies warmly.

    ¡°Bye, take care and see you on my next appointment.¡± I leave so fast after those words, you¡¯d think the

    devil was on my trail.

    I pay my bill and step outside, the cool air brushing my face. For the first time all morning, I feel like I can breathe again.

    But as I drive home, the relief dulls into guilt. In my panic, I left without feeding my sweet girl. I step harder on the gas, eager to get home to make sure he¡¯s okay.

    Pulling into the driveway, I¡¯m already rehearsing how I¡¯ll spoil her with extra treats. But when I climb out of the car and turn toward my house, I stop dead in my tracks.

    Standing at my doorstep looking like she owns the ce is Brook.

 Figured 584

    <b>Chapter </b><b>584 </b>

    ¡°Sierra,¡± he greets warmly, gesturing for me to sit. ¡°What brings you here? I thought your next appointment is in a month.¡±

    The words tumble out in a rush. ¡°This morning, I woke up with cramps. They weren¡¯t too strong at first, but then I noticed blood. Not a lot, but it scared me. I thought¡­¡± My throat closes. I swallow hard, blinking back tears. ¡°I thought maybe I was losing the baby.¡±

    His expression softens, but his tone stays reassuring and steady. ¡°You did the right thing bying in. Let me ask you a few questions, and then we¡¯ll do an exam to check on the baby, all right?¡±

    I nod quickly, clinging to hisposure like a lifeline.

    ¡°Did you notice the color?¡± he asks. ¡°Pink, red, dark red or brown¡±

    ¡°It was a light red.¡±

    ¡°Have you had any other symptoms?¡±

    ¡°No. Just those.¡±

    He asks more questions and I answer as best I can, wringing my hands nervously on myp.

    ¡°Okay<b>, </b>now I need you to lie on the bed, just like you didst time,¡± he tells me in an assuring and warm

    voice.

    I cling to that warmth, trying to use it to steady me.

    When he begins the examination, my entire body tenses. Every second feels like a lifetime, my heart pounding so loudly it drowns out the hum of the machines.

    Finally, he looks up, a smile easing across his face. ¡°The baby¡¯s fine.¡±

    The words hit me like a wave, and all the air rushes out of me at once. My hand flies to my chest.

    ¡°Oh, thank God.¡± A shakyugh escapes me, mixed with tears I don¡¯t bother to hide. ¡°I thought¨CI thought 1 was losing him.¡±

    Maybe it¡¯s relief, but for some reason I¡¯m not afraid to cry and be vulnerable in front of him.

    ¡°You¡¯re already referring to the baby as him; do you wish for a boy?¡± he gives me a full¨Cblown smile and heavens, he¡¯s really good¨Clooking.

    He has one of those smiles that blinds you before reeling you in like a fish caught on a fishing rod.

    ¡°I don¡¯t mind having a girl.¡± I shake myself from the trance and reply. ¡°But for some reason, referring to the baby as him, just feels right.¡±

    ¡°Mother¡¯s instincts,¡± he says as a way of exnation.

    He stares at me for a while before continuing. ¡°What you experienced can happen for many reasons. Sometimes it¡¯s just the body adjusting. Sometimes stress ys a big role. But there¡¯s no sign of danger to your baby right now. What I want you to focus on is rest, keeping yourself calm, and avoiding unnecessary stress as much as possible.¡±

    I nod quickly, relief flooding every part of me. ¡°I¡¯ll try. I¨CI promise I¡¯ll try.¡±

    Damn it! That will be a hard promise to keep, especially with Noah breathing down my neck like a fucking dragon. Maybe I should really consider moving.

    He offers another reassuring smile. ¡°You¡¯re not alone in this. And you¡¯re stronger than you think.¡±

    Something about the way he says it makes warmth bloom in my chest. I blink at him, swallowing back the lump in my throat. ¡°I almost went crazy thinking that I was losing my baby.¡±

    ¡°It normal. It your first time being pregnant and anything out of the normal would worry you.¡±

    I smile as I pull my sweater down and get down from the examination bed. ¡°Really, thank you. For this

    and for that day, when you¡­ when you pulled me back from the car.¡±

    His smile deepens, though he shakes his head like it¡¯s nothing. ¡°Anyone would have done the same.¡±

    ¡°Not anyone,¡± I say quietly, holding his gaze for a moment longer.

    The silence lingers, not heavy but¡­ steady andfortable. Finally, I force myself to rise, giving him a grateful smile. ¡°Thank you again, Dr. Adrian.¡±

    Seriously? Why was I thanking him so much? I¡¯m starting to feel a bit embarrassed.

    ¡°It¡¯s always my pleasure to help,¡± he replies warmly.

    ¡°Bye, take care and see you on my next appointment.¡± I leave so fast after those words, you¡¯d think the devil was on my trail.

    I pay my bill and step outside, the cool air brushing my face. For the first time all morning, I feel like I can breathe again.

    But as I drive home, the relief dulls into quilt. In my panic, I left without feeding my sweet girl. I step harder on the gas<b>, </b>eager to get home to make sure he¡¯s okay.

    Pulling into the driveway, I¡¯m already rehearsing how I¡¯ll spoil her with extra treats. But when I climb out of the car and turn toward my house, I stop dead in my tracks.

    Standing at my doorstep looking like she owns the ce is Brook.

 Figured 585

    <b>Chapter </b><b>585 </b>

    We stare at each other<b>, </b>me with shock, her with something I can¡¯t quite name. Bitterness<b>? </b><b>Hatred</b><b>? </b>Or <b>maybe </b>both.

    When I used to hang out with Chloe, Brook was always there like an unavoidable shadow. The sisters had more inmon than they liked to admit, especially their behavior. Sometimes I wondered how <b>they </b>never shed, considering they had the same personality.

    When I decided to keep my distance from Chloe, naturally that applied to Brook. Brook and I have never been close and trust me, it¡¯s not fromck of trying. Back then, I tried. God knows I did. Tried to be her friend, tried to make her ept me. But Brook always looked at me like I was gum stuck under her designer heels.

    I couldn¡¯t force friendships and just like with Noah, I couldn¡¯t force her to like me. Eventually, I stopped trying. You can only knock on a locked door so many times before you realize it¡¯s never going to open.

    I was relieved when it all ended. There were no more forced smiles, fake greetings or brittle hellos. I felt at peace since I could be myself without having to people please.

    Obviously, Noah still took care of her. She was Chloe¡¯s sister, his sister¨Cinw, and if Noah Wood is anything, it¡¯s loyal to a fault. Designer clothes, luxury cars, vacations most people only dream of, name it. Brook had it all. Chloe and Brook might¡¯ve been orphans, but Noah spoiled them until the word ¡°loss¡± was just a technicality.

    Even after Chloe died, it didn¡¯t stop. I heard that Chloe made Noah promise, on her deathbed, that he would continue taking care of Brook¡­ And Noah, being Noah, kept that promise. She graduated from one of the best and most expensive Universities, but she doesn¡¯t work. She doesn¡¯t have to. Not when Noah is still spoiling her. She lives off him, leeching onto him like she always has, and yet he calls me the leech. How ironical.

    I approach cautiously because, knowing Brook, her presence here doesn¡¯t spell good things for me.

    I open my mouth to demand what she¡¯s doing here, but instead nausea ms into me like a sucker

    punch. I shove past her, unlock my door with shaking hands, and barely make it to the bathroom before

    I¡¯m hunched over the toilet and puking until my stomach burns.

    I haven¡¯t thrown up since that day at the hospital. I was actually starting to think I might escape morning sickness. That I¡¯ll be among the chosen few that don¡¯t get affected. I guess the joke¡¯s on me.

    When I¡¯m done, I rinse my mouth, ssh cold water on my face, and step back into the living room only to find Brook inside my house, looking around like she just stepped into a trash dump.

    Honestly, I¡¯ve never gotten how Noah never saw through Chloe and Brook. He thought they were angels;

    if only he knew what kind of people they are.

    Brook and Chloe were able to curate this innocent look that drew people to them. Most knew them as kind and generally good, but I know the truth. I know the kind of people they are behind <b>their </b><b>masks</b>.

    <b>¡°</b>What do I owe the pleasure of your visit?¡± I ask, my voice t. If she¡¯s already invited herself in<b>, </b><b>the </b>least

    I can do is skip the fake pleasantries.

    ¡°Nice little house you¡¯ve got here,¡± shements, her eyes skimming the walls and the furniture.

    It¡¯s the kind ofpliment that¡¯s really an insult but it¡¯s sugar¨Ccoated.

    ¡°I thought with your cushy little job you¡¯d be living somewhere bigger,¡± she adds with a smirk<b>, </b>aiming her words like sharp darts.

    <b>I </b>narrow my eyes. I should have expected this. She¡¯s always been this way. A viper disguised in silk, wearing a smile while the fangs glint underneath.

 Figured 586

    ¡°At least I have a job and a house, Brook,¡± I reply evenly. ¡°Remind me again what <b>you </b><b>have</b><b>?</b><b>¡± </b>

    Her smile snaps off her lips and her face turns a nice shade of ugly¡­ And there she is. <b>The </b><b>real </b><b>Brook</b>.

    That¡¯s more like it. This is the Brook I know. The one who¡¯d smile at you while she twisted the knife <b>in </b>your back. The viper that hides among sheep, waiting for the perfect time to strike.

    Sure, Chloe was a maniptive, jealous bitch, butpared to Brook? Chloe was an amateur. <b>Brook </b>is the real viin; always has been.

    ¡°What do you want, Brook?¡± I ask, though I already have a pretty good idea.

    She blinks innocently. ¡°Can¡¯t Ie say hi to my sister¡¯s friend? ¡°Oh wait,¡± her lips curl, ¡°Ex¨Cbest friend.¡±

    I cross my arms. ¡°Cut the crap and tell me why you¡¯re really here.¡±

    Dealing with her was always exhausting. I honestly don¡¯t know how I put up with her for all those years. Same goes for Noah.

    It¡¯s my fault really; I should have walked away from the toxicity a long time ago instead of clinging to hope and putting up with them.

    She pouts like a child. ¡°What? You don¡¯t want to hear the truth?¡±

    I sigh, already exhausted. ¡°What truth?¡±

    Honestly at this point I just want her to leave so I can feed my cat, eat something and take a nap. I don¡¯t have the energy to deal with her.

    ¡°That you were Chloe¡¯s ex¨Cbest friend, and let¡¯s not forget how shamelessly you were thirsting after her man the entire time.¡± Her eyes glitter as she throws the words at me like daggers.

    Technically speaking, we weren¡¯t best friends, but that¡¯s a story for another day.

    I roll my eyes. ¡°Haven¡¯t we been here before? Haven¡¯t we had this conversation a thousand times? You need to grow up, Brook. We¡¯re not in high school anymore.¡±

    Her smile falters. ¡°I¡¯m just stating facts.¡±

    ¡°What facts?¡± I shoot back, my arms still folded. ¡°You¡¯ve been recycling the same tired usations s we were fifteen. Don¡¯t you ever get bored?¡±

    How many times have I been used of this? How many times has she weaponized the same truth and twisted it into something dirty<b>? </b>

    Yes, I loved Noah. I won¡¯t deny it. Back when we were younger, he was everything I wanted. But once he

    chose Chloe, I stepped back. It fucking hurt, <b>I¡¯ll </b>admit that and my love didn¡¯t die, but <b>I </b><b>buried </b><b>it </b><b>deep </b><b>and </b><b>I </b><b>stopped </b>chasing him. Chloe was my friend, and I would never cross that line. I didn¡¯t <b>want </b><b>to </b>hurt <b>her</b>, so once they got together, I stopped hoping that he would finally see me.

    ¡°You¡¯re just bitter Noah never chose you,¡± she spits, venom dripping from every word ¡°Jealous that no matter what you did, Noah picked Chloe.¡±

    Was I bitter? Never. Was I jealous? Maybe once but mostly I was just hurt, but I found a way to bury <b>my </b>

    heartbreak so deep it didn¡¯t cause me any pain.

    Iugh and the sound shocks even me. ¡°I moved on, Brook. Maybe you should do the same.¡±

    I point to the door. ¡°If that¡¯s all you came to say, then get out. I don¡¯t have the time or the energy to deal with your fucking drama.¡±

    ¡°Drama?¡± Her eyes narrow into slits. ¡°You think I¡¯m the one with drama? Please. I wouldn¡¯t even be here if

    I had <i>a </i>choice.¡±

    ¡°Then why are you here, Brook?<b>¡± </b>

    Her chest rises and falls, her expression darkening. Then she leans forward, eyes shing <b>with </b>the same

    malice Chloe used to hide so well.

    ¡°I want you to stay away from Noah.¡±

 Figured 587

    ¡°Let me get this straight¨Cyou came all the way to my house just to tell me to stay away <b>from </b><b>Noah</b><b>?</b><b>¡± </b><b>I </b><b>ask </b>incredulous.

    For a second, I almostugh. I thought she was here because of the baby. I know Noah probably already told her, but to show up on my doorstep, spitting threats like some watchdog? It¡¯s ridiculous. <b>Noah </b>is <b>a </b>grown man. Do I have him chained in my basement?

    Does she have nothing better to do? And does Noah even know his sister¨Cinw is here threatening me<b>? </b>

    ¡°Yes,¡± she says, arrogance dripping from her tone, as if I owe her obedience.

    I raise a brow. ¡°You do realize he¡¯s an adult, right?¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter. I know you, Sierra. You want to move in now that my sister is gone. <b>You </b>think I can¡¯t smell it from miles away? You think it¡¯ll be that easy to rece Chloe?¡±

    My hands fly up in frustration. ¡°Oh my God, not this again! Why do both you and Noah think I¡¯m out to rece Chloe? It¡¯s been two years since she died. If I wanted something with him, don¡¯t you think I¡¯d have tried a long time ago?¡±

    <b>¡°</b>You were just biding your time.¡±

    ¡°For what?¡± I snap. ¡°Whether it¡¯s one month or ten years, it won¡¯t change the fact that Noah doesn¡¯t like me. So why would I force myself into his life?¡±

    I¡¯m so sick and tired of this narrative. I don¡¯t want to be Chloe¡¯s recement. I don¡¯t want to be Noah¡¯s wife. That night was a mistake, one I regret more than they¡¯ll ever know (with the exception of the baby). Why is that so impossible to ept?

    Why can¡¯t they just ept that I don¡¯t want to take Chloe¡¯s ce? I¡¯m not out to tie him down. I don¡¯t want anything to fucking do with him. Why is it so hard for them to get that through their thick skulls?

    Who would even want to be in the shadow of another woman? It¡¯s ridiculous how firm they are in their belief that I want to be Chloe¡¯s recement.

    Brook ignores mepletely, her voice sharp as ss. ¡°You were waiting for the perfect opportunity. And now that you¡¯re pregnant, you think you¡¯ve seeded in trapping him.¡±

    I close my eyes, dragging in a shaky breath before I lose it entirely. Do they share the same brain<b>? </b>

    Because somehow, they¡¯re the only two people alive convinced I plotted this.

    <b>¡°</b>You¡¯re both delusional,¡± I mutter, staring at her in disbelief.

    ¡°No, I¡¯m not. Ava calling you was the chance you were waiting for. You knew <b>if </b>you could just get him in bed and pregnant, you¡¯d trap him. It¡¯s the oldest trick in the book<b>.</b>¡±

    <b>My </b>temper snaps. ¡°First of all, show some respect. Don¡¯t you dare call Aunt Ava by her <b>first </b><b>name </b>like she¡¯s nothing.¡±

    She opens her mouth, but <b>I </b>cut her <b>off</b>.

    ¡°And second, I didn¡¯t n this. I don¡¯t care what you believe but this wasn¡¯t some grand scheme <b>to </b><b>trap </b><b>Noah</b>.¡±

    She scoffs, eyes zing. ¡°You think I¡¯m going to buy that? You¡¯ve always thirsted after him. I know <b>you </b>nned this. You¡¯ve probably been nning this for years.¡±

    ¡°Of course you¡¯d think that,¡± I shoot back. ¡°Because it¡¯s the kind of thing you or Chloe would do. But I am not like either of <b>you</b>, and I won¡¯t waste my breath exining myself to someone who¡¯s already made up their mind about me.¡±

    My chest is heaving. Why can¡¯t I catch a fucking break? First Noah, now his viper of a sister¨Cinw. Maybe I really should move. All this toxicity can¡¯t be good for the baby.

    Brook steps closer, voice low and cold. ¡°I don¡¯t care what you say. You¡¯ll get rid of that baby and stay the hell away from Noah.¡±

    ¡°And if I don¡¯t?¡± my fists clench at my sides ¡°What are you going to do, Brook?<b>¡± </b>

    Her lips curl in a snarl. ¡°Don¡¯t test me, Sierra.¡±

    Seriously, what¡¯s with the threats? I haven¡¯t asked Noah to be in the baby¡¯s life. I haven¡¯t asked for anything except to be left alone. So why the hell are theying at me? Why are they so hellbent on getting rid of my baby?

    I already told Noah that I don¡¯t n on our families knowing he sired a baby with me. I already exined everything. So why insist? He can go about his life without having to worry. <b>I </b>just don¡¯t get it.

    I quietly stare at her, my mind racing. I am sick of the threats, but more importantly, why does Brook want my baby gone? I get Noah¡¯s reasons, as twisted as they are, but what are Brooks reasons?

    Noah is her brother¨Cinw. Her sister¡¯s been gone for two years. Any normal person would be urging him to move on. He¡¯s not even thirty, his whole life is still stretched out ahead of him. <i>So </i>why is Brook standing in my house, warning me away from him? Is it about guarding Chloe¡¯s ce in his heart forever? Or is it fear? Fear that if I¡¯m anywhere near Noah, I might expose them and she¡¯ll lose herfortable life?

    ¡°I¡¯ll tell you what I told Noah,¡± I say, my voice steady now. ¡°I am not aborting my baby. Get that through your skull.¡±

    The fire in her eyes res hotter. ¡°You¡¯ll do what I say<b>, </b>or else.¡±

    ¡°Or else what, Brook?¡± I step forward, matching her re. ¡°Who do you think you are,ing into my

    house <b>and </b>threatening me? You don¡¯t get a say in my life.¡±

    ¡°I swear, if you don¡¯t stay away from Noah and get rid of that pest in your belly, Il-~

    She doesn¡¯t finish. My hand moves before I can think, the crack of palm against cheek ringing <b>in </b>the

    room.

    Her eyes widen in shock. ¡°You hit me! How dare-¡±

    I hit the other cheek. ¡°I dare. And if you don¡¯t shut your filthy mouth, I¡¯ll throat¨Cpunch you next.¡±

    ¡°This is assault!¡± she shrieks.

    I grab her arm, squeezing harder than necessary. Her wince sends a dark satisfaction through me I don¡¯t want to examine too closely. I haul her toward the door, shove her out, and m it in her stunned face

    At this point my neighbors will start thinking there is something wrong with me, with the way I keep mming my door in people¡¯s faces.

    Leaning against the door, I breathe hard. God. I¡¯ve never hit anyone before, and yet in the past few weeks, it feels like violence has wed its way out of me more than once. Maybe I do have anger issues. Or maybe Noah and Brook just bring out the worst parts of me.

    From outside, her voice screeches, venomous. ¡°You¡¯ll regret this, Sierra! I¡¯ll make you pay!¡±

    I press a hand protectively against my belly.

    Do your worst, Brook.

    Your sister tormented me for years. I won¡¯t let you do the same.

 Figured 588

    <b>Chapter </b><b>588 </b>

    I¡¯m still rattled long after Brook¡¯s visit. I watched her through the window as she <b>stomped </b>to her <b>sleek </b>ck Audi and peeled away, driving so fast and so recklessly I half¨Cexpected to hear the screech <b>of </b><b>tires </b><b>and </b>the crunch of metal a block away<b>. </b>

    I hope I don¡¯te off as a terrible person for saying this, but if that had happened, it would have <b>been </b>for the best. Brook is a terrible person. She takes the whole ¡®Mean girl¡® thing to a whole new level.

    She was pissed. Furious, even. The same way Noah had been yesterday when I refused to bend to hismand.

    Had I really been that pathetic before? Otherwise, why would they expect me to bow so easily? Why would they expect me to surrender every time?

    The truth is sharp and ugly: they were used to me being submissive, docile and pathetic. And now that <b>I </b>finally dared to push back, it rattled their feathers and pissed them off.

    After Brook left, I forced myself to breathe, then fed my sweet girl before making something light <b>for </b>myself, and then took a much¨Cneeded nap. Honestly, pregnancy shoulde with a warningbel: permanent exhaustion ahead¡­ because I¡¯m tired all the freaking time and all I want is to curl up and hibernate for the next few months.

    I woke up five hourster, feeling refreshed and ready to face the world¡­ And after a snack, <b>I¡¯ve </b>just beenzing around, making the most of my temporary leave, before I have to go back to work next week.

    The ringing of my phone pulls my attention from the mafia novel I¡¯m reading. Putting my book down, I grab my phone and swipe the ept button.

    ¡°Hi, Lilly,<b>¡± </b>I say.

    She¡¯s been busy<b>, </b>so I haven¡¯t seen her since the day of the surprise visit, though we have talked.

    ¡°Hi, bestie!¡± she chirps, her voice bright and fast. ¡°What time are we meeting?¡±

    I frown. ¡°Meeting?¡±

    ¡°Yes<i>.</i><i>¡± </i>She says it with a tone that already tells me I¡¯ve messed up.

    ¡°<b>For </b>what?¡±

    ¡°<b>You </b>can¡¯t be serious<b>, </b>Si.¡± She actually grits her teeth through the line. ¡°Dinner. Saturday dinner. Have you forgotten<b>?</b><b>¡± </b>

    Right. When we are both free on Saturday, we always go out for dinner, then drinks afterwards. With everything that¡¯s been happening, I totally forgot about our tradition.

    ¡°But we didn¡¯tst weekend¡­¡± <b>I </b>try weakly.

    +15 <b>BONUS </b>

    ¡°That¡¯s because I <b>had </b><b>to </b>fly to China on Friday,¡± she snaps. ¡°Our reps butchered <b>a </b><b>contract </b><b>we¡¯d </b><b>been </b>working on for weeks.¡±

    Right. I¡¯d forgotten about that too.

    <b>¡°</b><b>I </b><b>don¡¯t </b>really feel like going out,¡± I admit<b>, </b>sounding more like a sulking child than an <b>adult</b>. <b>¡°</b><b>And </b><b>I </b><b>don¡¯t </b>feel like driving.¡±

    <b>¡°</b>You don¡¯t have to drive; I¡¯ll be your chauffeur. I¡¯ll pick you up and drop you off.¡±

    ¡°But-¡±

    <b>¡°</b><b>No </b>buts. You need to get out of the house,¡± she cuts me off, decisive as always. ¡°I¡¯ll pick <b>you </b>up <b>at </b><b>six</b><b>.¡± </b>

    Before I can say anything ore up with more reasons why I don¡¯t feel like going out, she hangs up the phone.

    I stare at the phone, exasperated. Knowing Lilly, if I¡¯m not ready when she arrives, she¡¯ll drag me out in my oversized sweatshirt and tights. With a sigh, I nce at the clock. An hour and a half. Enough time to shower and try to look presentable.

    1

    After a quick shower, I stand in front of my closet and groan. Full of clothes, yet nothing to wear. Why is it like that? A woman can own a whole boutique of clothes and still find nothing to wear. The funny thing is that it¡¯s universal. Every woman on earth willin that they have nothing to wear; even with a full closet.

    Sighing for the hundredth time, I settle on a simple ck dress. Nothing fancy, nothing shy. This is one of those days I just don¡¯t feel like dressing up.

    I keep my makeup minimal: just foundation, concealer, and a touch of lip balm. Instead of heels, I slip into my ck ts. Comfortable and effortless.

    I¡¯m fastening my purse when a car horn res outside. Peeking through the curtains, I see Lilly¡¯s car waiting at the curb. I give ckie enough food and water, lock up, and step out.

    The moment I reach her car, she gasps. ¡°What are you wearing?¡±

    <b>¡°</b>Uh, clothes<b>?</b><b>¡± </b>

    ¡°Tell me that¡¯s not the outfit <b>you </b>chose.¡± She says, her eyes practically pleading.

    I nce down at myself, then <b>at </b>her. ¡°What¡¯s wrong with it<b>?</b><b>¡± </b>

    Her horrified look could win awards. ¡°You can¡¯t be serious.¡±

    ¡°I am. At least I¡¯m not in tights.¡± I slide into the passenger seat.

    ¡°But what if we meet a cute guy<b>?</b><b>¡± </b>

    +15 <b>BONUS </b>

    <b>I </b>arch <b>a </b>brow <b>at </b>her.

    <b>¡°</b><b>I¡¯m </b>pregnant, Lilly,¡± I remind her<b>, </b>rolling <b>my </b>eyes.

    <b>¡°</b><b>And</b>? What¡¯s that got to do with anything?¡± She pulls into traffic, her hands casual but her driving just <b>a </b>little <b>too </b>reckless.

    As much as Lilly is a great driver, she also has a wild streak. She¡¯s been known to drive like <b>the </b>hounds of

    hell are after her.

    I just stare at her. Isn¡¯t it obvious?

    ¡°Everything,¡± I reply tly. ¡°I¡¯m no position to date anyone.¡±

    ¡°Si, your pregnancy doesn¡¯t mean you don¡¯t deserve happiness¡­ And It shouldn¡¯t stop you from finding happiness¡­ <b>If </b>Noah doesn¡¯t want to step up, then we¡¯ll find someone who does.¡±

    My eyes widen. ¡°You¡¯ve officially lost your mind.¡±

    For the briefest moment my mind shes to Noah. His sharp jaw, stormy eyes and perfect face. It¡¯s ridiculous, really, that even after everything, he¡¯s the first man my thoughts betray me with. But the image curdles as quickly as ites, and I¡¯m left with thoughts of his cruelty.

    I shake myself from those thoughts and focus on Lilly.

    She shes me a grin. ¡°I have not. It¡¯s the perfect n.¡±

    ¡°How¡¯s that a perfect n?¡± I ask. ¡°It¡¯s insane. I don¡¯t need anyone stepping into the father role. I can raise my child on my own.¡±

    Honestly, I love Lilly but sometimes shees up with really crazy ns and ideas.

    ¡°Think about <b>it</b>, baby girl,¡± she insists. ¡°My nephew needs a father. My cousin is too much <b>of </b><b>a </b>coward to <b>fill </b>that role, but I guarantee you, we can find someone, who will.¡±

    I gape at her, words failing me. She gives me a fleeting look and fuck! She¡¯s dead serious about it. Doesn¡¯t she know <b>or </b>see how absurd this is?

    ¡°I don¡¯t even have time for romance,¡± I argue. ¡°Between work and the baby<b>, </b>my hands will be full. I¡¯m fine being on my own.¡±

    Her voice is fierce, her grin mischievous. ¡°You¡¯re not searching, but you¡¯re also not staying hidden.¡±

    <b>¡°</b><b>No</b>! I don¡¯t want anything to do with your crazy n.¡±

    <b>¡°</b>You don¡¯t have to do anything.¡± Lilly winks at me. ¡°I¡¯ll take care <b>of </b>everything.¡±

    The glint in her eyes makes my stomach twist.

    <b>3/5 </b>

    +15 <b>BONUS </b>

    <b>The </b>problem with Lilly is that once she gets something in her head<b>, </b>there¡¯s <b>no </b><b>talking </b><b>her </b><b>out </b><b><i>of </i></b><b>it</b>. <b>Doesn¡¯t </b><b>matter </b>if the idea is brilliant or downright ridiculous. She¡¯ll chase <b>it </b>like it <b>holds </b><b>the </b><b>secret to </b><b>the </b>

    fountain of youth.

    <b>¡°</b><b>Lilly-</b>¡±

    She cuts me off with a triumphant smile. ¡°I think I already have the perfect match for <b>you</b>.¡±

    <b>4/5 </b>

 Figured 589

    This time I <b>can¡¯t </b>stop theughter bubbling <b>out </b><b>of </b>me. Of all the ridiculous things Lilly has <b>ever </b>said, <b>this </b><b>one </b><b>takes </b><b>the </b>crown<b>. </b>

    <b>¡°</b><b>You¡¯ve </b>lost <b>your </b>mind, Lilly<b>,</b><b>¡± </b>I tell her once I catch my breath. ¡°Why would <b>you </b>try to hook <b>up </b>a man <b>with </b>a pregnant woman<b>?</b><b>¡± </b>

    She opens her mouth, but I cut her off before she can defend herself.

    ¡°And besides, not <b>that </b>I¡¯m interested or anything, but which man would date a woman carrying someone else¡¯s baby<b>?</b><b>¡± </b>

    Even if I wanted to date, which I don¡¯t, it would be impossible in my condition. Unless the baby is his, men run for the hills the second they see a swollen belly. Hell, they still run for the hills even when the baby is theirs. Most can¡¯t even handle single mothers. Maybe it¡¯s a pride thing or something, but very few stick around for someone else¡¯s child.

    The only exception I¡¯ve ever witnessed is Aunt Ava and Uncle Rowan. Aunt Ava got pregnant with Iris during the time she was divorced from Uncle Rowan. Uncle Rowan started to pursue her again, even taking her to her doctor¡¯s appointment since Iris¡¯s dad couldn¡¯t. He never once treated Iris as anything less than his own. <b>If </b>you didn¡¯t know the story<b>, </b>you¡¯d never guess they didn¡¯t share blood. To him, Iris is simply his daughter.

    But Uncle Rowan is rare. Most men? They don¡¯t sign up to raise another man¡¯s child.

    ¡°Come on, Si, you have to trust me,¡± Lilly says with that stubborn conviction in her voice.

    ¡°Hell to the no.¡± A snort escapes me. ¡°Thest time you told me to trust you, I ended up drunk out of my mind and locked out of my own house because you swore you had the spare key.¡±

    ¡°I apologized for that already!¡± she protests. ¡°And besides, that was one time. I¡¯ve never let you down again.¡±

    ¡°<b>I </b>can count a million instances just like that.¡± I roll my eyes.

    Lilly¡¯s wild streak has gotten me into more trouble than I can ever list. Like the time when we were thirteen, I wanted to dye my blonde hair ck. For some reason I was convinced Noah hated me because my hair reminded him of Aunt Emma, who Uncle Rowan had once been in love with. Lilly swore she knew what she was doing. I shouldn¡¯t have trusted her. She bought the wrong dye and mixed it wrong, and the result was a horrifying shade of pink. I had to miss school until my hair was fixed because <b>I </b>couldn¡¯t bear the embarrassment.

    I love her. God knows I do, but her ideas give me trauma shbacks.

    She scoffs and waves a hand like I¡¯m exaggerating. ¡°I won¡¯t let you down.¡±

    I narrow <b>my </b>eyes at her profile. <b>¡°</b>I don¡¯t trust <b>you </b>one bit.¡±

    ¡°This time I promise I won¡¯t disappoint.¡±

    ¡°Why are you even so interested in my love life<b>?</b><b>¡± </b>I ask. ¡°I¡¯m not bothered that I¡¯m single<b>, </b><b>but </b><b>you </b><b>are</b><b>.</b><b>¡± </b>

    Maybe I¡¯m just one of those people who aren¡¯t meant to find a partner. Or maybe, like that <b>viral </b><b>TikTok </b>song says, ¡®Maybe my soulmate died¨CI don¡¯t know, maybe I don¡¯t have a soul¡®¡­ or maybe just <b>maybe </b>I never had a soulmate to begin with.

    It could also be that you kept Noah in a pedestal so high, no other manpared¡­ Or deep inside you still held on to Noah, so you never gave any other man a chance.

    Immediately I shut down that tiny voice, refusing to listen to its voice.

    ¡°Because you¡¯re my best friend, and I want to see you happy,¡± she says softly. ¡°You¡¯ll love this guy. <b>I </b>promise.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve got my hands full at the moment,¡± I say with a teasing smile. ¡°Let¡¯s focus on you first. <b>You </b>know that saying¨Cyou can¡¯t pour from an empty cup? Or however it goes. Either way<b>, </b>you need to be topped up before you try fixing me.¡±

    <b>X </b>

 Figured 590

    <b>Chapter </b><b>590 </b>

    ¡°<b>Please</b><b>! </b>I¡¯m <b>perfectly </b>fine¡­ I¡¯ll settle down when I find a man that can tame me in all <b>aspects</b><b>¡± </b>she winks

    <b>at </b><b>me</b><b>. </b>

    I chuckle. At least she¡¯s self¨Caware. With her personality, Lilly needs someone who can match <b>her</b>. Someone she can¡¯t walk all over. She needs a dominant male; otherwise, she¡¯ll continue dating <b>men </b><b>who </b>run <b>for </b>the hills simply because they think ¡®She¡¯s too much¡® for them.

    ¡°<b>So </b>are we in agreement?¡± she asks with expectant eyes.

    I stay quiet. Arguing with Lilly is useless. Once she¡¯s decided on something, there¡¯s no derailing <b>her </b><b>train</b>.

    ¡°Anyway,¡± she says brightly, noticing my silence, ¡°we¡¯re here.¡±

    I look out the window. She¡¯s right. We¡¯ve pulled up to one of our favorite restaurants. <b>Not </b>fancy, but the food is amazing and the portions are great.

    ¡°Thank you,¡± I murmur.

    I hadn¡¯t told her what kind of day I¡¯d had, but she knew anyway. She always knows. That¡¯s the thing about Lilly<b>; </b>she just gets me.

    ¡°I figured you could use somefort food,¡± she says, unbuckling her seat belt.

    This is one of our favorites because it¡¯s where we get ourfort food and I could really use some. ¡°Come on,¡± she adds, stepping out. ¡°I need to get food into you and my nephew.¡±

    I pause, startled. ¡°Wait. You also think it¡¯s a boy<b>?</b><b>¡± </b>

    She grins. ¡°I know it¡¯s weird, but it just feels right.¡±

    ¡°Oh

    my God.¡± I screech happily. ¡°I¡¯ve been thinking of the baby as a boy too! My doctor said it could be a sign.¡±

    I hug her so tightly she winces, but I can¡¯t help myself. Afterward, we link hands like we¡¯re teenagers again, giddy over a shared secret.

    Given how sensitive my stomach has beentely<b>, </b><b>I </b>keep it safe and only order a bowl <b>of </b>fruit and a ss of water, while Lilly practically orders half the menu.

    ¡°Didn¡¯t <b>you </b><b>eat </b>lunch?¡± I gape at her.

    <b>¡°</b>I¡¯m eating for three<b>,</b>¡± she says seriously.

    ¡°Shouldn¡¯t that be my line<b>?</b><b>¡± </b>I tease<b>. </b>¡°I¡¯m the one who¡¯s pregnant.¡±

    ¡°Well, since you¡¯re not eating enough, I¡¯m eating for both of us¨Cand my nephew.¡±

    <b>+15 </b><b>BONUS </b>

    She says it with such ridiculous conviction that I can¡¯t help butugh. That¡¯s Lilly. She could sell <b>me </b>the <b>most </b>insane idea and somehow make meugh while doing it.

    <b>¡°</b><b>You </b>know I love you<b>, </b>right?¡± I blurt, tears filling my eyes for no reason at all.

    She freezes mid¨Cbite. ¡°What¡¯s happening<b>?</b><b>¡± </b>

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I choke out. <b>¡°</b>I just feel so emotional because you¡¯re the bestest friend a girl could <b>ever </b>have, and I wanted you to know I love you.¡±

    Before youe at me, I¡¯ve been using the word ¡®Bestest¡® since I heard Nicki Minaj rap <b>it </b>in <b>a </b>song <b>called </b>BedRock. It weirdly made sense.

    ¡°Aww, Babe<i>,</i><i>¡± </i>she says, her own eyes watering. ¡°I love you too.¡±

    ¡°Why are you crying?¡± I ask, my voice catching.

    ¡°Because you¡¯re crying,¡± she sniffles, fanning her face.

    We both burst outughing through our tears, probably looking ridiculous to everyone else, but I don¡¯t

    care.

    I thank God every day for bringing Lilly into my life. I don¡¯t know what I¡¯d do without her.

    I hadn¡¯t wanted toe out tonight, but Lilly always knows what I need, even when I don¡¯t. And right now, being here with her is exactly what I need to forget the chaos my life has be.

    <b>2/3 </b>

 Figured 591

    By the time we finish eating, I¡¯m leaning back in my chair, one hand on my stomach, the other covering my mouth as a satisfied sigh slips out. Lilly wipes her mouth with a napkin, eyes twinkling mischievously like she¡¯s already up to something.

    ¡°So,¡± she says casually, tossing her napkin onto her empty te. ¡°How about we go grab a drink?¡±

    I give her a t look. ¡°You do remember I¡¯m pregnant, right?¡±

    She smirks. ¡°Rx, mama bear. They make non¨Calcoholic drinks, you know. You can sip on apple juice in a fancy ss while I enjoy something stronger. Everybody wins.¡±

    I roll my eyes but can¡¯t help theugh that escapes. ¡°Only you would drag a pregnant woman to a bar.¡±

    ¡°Correction¨Conly I would know when a pregnant woman needs it<i>,</i><i>¡± </i>she counters with a wink. ¡°Come on,

    Si. You¡¯ll feel better.¡±

    I hesitate for a second, weighing my fatigue against her stubborn streak. She means well, and I know that I need this. I need to be around some positive energy after having to deal with Noah and Brook.

    Finally, I sigh, shaking my head and teasing. ¡°Fine. But only because I know you¡¯ll be miserable without

    me.¡±

    She rolls her eyes and gives a snort but smiles nheless.

    We pay our bill and head out. Thirty minutester, Lilly pulls into the lot of a cozy¨Clooking bar that glows warmly against the night. Music hums low,ughter spills out of the doors, and the ce feels alive but

    not overwhelming.

    Inside, the air smells faintly of citrus and something sweet from the cocktails being made at the counter.

    Lilly slides into a booth near the back, and I follow, grateful for the quiet pocket away from the main

    crowd.

    When the waitresses, Lilly orders some kind of cocktail with a name I can¡¯t pronounce, and I stick to

    a soda.

    While we¡¯re waiting, I lean forward, picking at a straw wrapper. ¡°So¡­ Brook came to see me today<b>.</b><b>¡± </b>

    Lilly arches a brow. ¡°Brook?¡±

    ¡°The one and only,¡± I mutter. ¡°She didn¡¯te for a friendly chat, though. She¡­ threatened me.¡±

    Lilly¡¯s face hardens instantly, her yful spark dimming into something sharper. ¡°She what?¡±

    =

    AA

    does she think she is, making threats? When did she even get the audacity toe at you? And why the hell did Noah tell her about your pregnancy?¡±

    Her wordse out fast, like bullets, and I can feel the heat in them. I almost smile despite myself,

    because this is Lilly, ready to burn the whole world down if someone crosses me.

    ¡°I was just as shocked when I saw her.¡±

    I should tell her everything, from Noah¡¯s visitst night to the scare in the morning, but I don¡¯t want to

    worry her too much¡­ and even though her rtionship with Noah has always been rocky because of me,

    I don¡¯t want to add more strain to it by telling her he came with more threats.

    ¡°I told you we should have dealt with her a long time ago,¡± she grumbles, folding her hands across her

    chest. ¡°The only way to deal with someone like that is to crush them before they get too poweful¡­ Now

    see, she has the balls toe at you because you were too kind and didn¡¯t want me to take care of her

    and Chloe.¡±

    The moment we realized the kind person they are, Lilly came up with a suggestion to deal with them. ¡®

    dealing with them¡® could have meant a lot of things, and knowing my crazy best friend, I couldn¡¯t risk us

    going to prison.

    ¡°You know Noah sees her as his sister,¡± I tell her with a sigh.

    Lilly growls, ¡°She¡¯s a fucking leech, that what she is.¡±

    The thing is, Lilly has tried telling Noah so many times about Chloe and Brook¡¯s maniptions but he

    wouldn¡¯t listen. He always thought that Lilly was just ndering them because of me. Actually, he thought I was pulling the strings and putting Lilly up to it, so he never even let Lilly get the words out any

    time she tried talking to him.

 Figured 592

    It¡¯s like he was put under a hypnotizing spell, because he never wanted to hear a negative word when it

    came to those two.

    Lilly knows just how bad Chloe was. Chloe was pretty nice to us when she joined our school at fourteen, but everything changed and her colors started to show immediately after she locked Noah down.

    It¡¯s sad the idiot never saw her true colors and I never bothered with him because he wouldn¡¯t have

    believed me anyway.

    I used tough because while he called me a snake, he never realized that he was sleeping with one.

    ¡°I¡¯m not supposed to speak badly about the dead,¡± she starts. ¡°But I thought everything would finally fall in ce once the bitch was gone; I didn¡¯t count on her bitch sister being a problem¡­ I should have seen it

    None of us thought so either, maybe because Brook was quiet, especially since Chloe died.

    ¡°Did she say anything apart from the threats?¡±

    ¡°Nothing. I don¡¯t know what she¡¯s ying at,¡± I admit. ¡°But it felt a bit too personal.¡±

    It still bothering me. It¡¯s like a flutter at the back of my mind that I still can¡¯t grasp no matter how I try.

    Every time I get so close to understanding what it is, it disappears and I¡¯m left with this nagging feeling

    Lilly shakes her head, leaning back in the booth. ¡°Maybe she afraid of what would mean if you¡¯re in Noah¡¯s life¡­ permanently.¡±

    ¡°I thought the same thing too¡­ That maybe she¡¯s scared I¡¯ll expose her lies and her sister¡¯s, and then she¡¯ll

    lose her cushy little life¡­¡±

    ¡°But?¡± Lilly asks, already sensing my hesitation.

    I sigh. ¡°But I feel like there is something more it.¡±

    Our drinks arrive mid¨Cconversation, and Lilly thanks the waitress curtly, still bristling with anger.

    She takes a sip of her cocktail like she¡¯s trying to swallow the rage, while I wrap my hands around my cold soda ss.

    ¡°Did I mention she basically ordered me to abort the baby<b>?</b><b>¡± </b>

    Lilly chokes on her drink, and I have to give her back a few hits. She takes the napkin and wipes her mouth before throwing her napkin on the table.

    ¡°She what? That fucking bitch!¡±

    Lilly is fuming, her fury so hot that it clogs the air around us.

    ¡°I swear, I¡¯m going to find her and gut her like a fucking chicken! How dare she?<b>¡± </b>

    ¡°Calm down,¡± I tell her, grabbing her flying hands.

    People were starting to stare, and thest thing I want is for them to start thinking that we are having a fight or something¡­ They should mind their business, though.

    ¡°We both know the lengths she¡¯d go, right?¡±

    ¡°Yes, but still!¡±

    ¡°What worries me now is her influence on Noah.¡± I tell her, my hands going back to hold my ss. ¡°Noah already wants me to get rid of my baby, but Brook can manipte things so that the n solidifies in his head. They both threatened me, Lilly¡­ what if they decide to do something to me and the baby?<b>¡± </b>

    ¡°Noah wouldn¡¯t hurt you,¡± Lilly says with a conviction I don¡¯t quite feel.

    ¡°Are you sure about that? Chloe and Brook¡¯s influence was strong and from the look of it, that influence still has its hold¡­ Brook can use the guilt he feels for betraying Chloe to manipte him into doing something stupid. Something that might cost me my baby.¡±

    She stares at me unblinking, but I know she¡¯s thinking. She knows I¡¯m right. She knows that Noah in his right mind wouldn¡¯t but if he has someone like Brook whispering in his ears, then all bets are off.

    It¡¯s a painful realization to swallow, but it¡¯s a possibility I also can¡¯t ignore. With those two around, I¡¯m not sure my baby and I are safe.

    We remain quiet, each of us lost in our own heads. That¡¯s until I feel it. The air shifts. My throat dries up, and my hand <i>goes </i>still.

    Because just when I thought I could avoid him¡­ just when I thought I could finally breathe¨CNoah walks in with Gunner right behind him.

 Figured 593

    Noah steps in, his long frame filling the doorway,manding the space even without trying. Gunner follows right behind him, calm and collected. The total opposite of his friend.

    My chest tightens immediately. My stomach twisting not from the fizz in my ss, but from the sight of him. Every instinct screams at me to shrink, to disappear behind Lilly, but I refuse. Not tonight. Not now.

    Part of me wants to run and hide somewhere safe, anywhere but here. But another part¨Cstubborn and furious¨Cwants to meet him head¨Con, to make him understand that I¡¯m not his <i>to </imand. That I¡¯m not a frightened girl from the past he thinks he can control.

    Noah¡¯s eyes scan the room, sharp and calcting, and then they lock on me. That familiar, infuriating look¨Clike he¡¯s measuring me and, like always, finds mecking.

    My pulse spikes, heat pooling in my cheeks. No matter how often I face that look, I never get used to it. Maybe it¡¯s the people¨Cpleaser in me. The part that seeks validation from him, but it still hurts. Even now, I force myself to remain cool and force that need to seek his approval down. Bad habits die hard, I guess.

    I thought he¡¯d ignore me, us, but with a few strides, he¡¯s right at our table.

    ¡°What are you doing at a bar when you¡¯re pregnant?¡± His voice cuts through the background noise like a knife, dripping with usation.

    I don¡¯t flinch. I set my ss down, straighten in my chair, and stare him dead in the eye. ¡°What are you

    doing in a bar when you should be at home taking care of your kids?¡± My tone is razor¨Csharp.

    Each wordnds heavy and deliberate. He blinks once, a flicker of surprise crossing his face. Good. Let

    him taste a little of what I¡¯ve been swallowing all these weeks.

    Noah¡¯s jaw tightens, lips pressing into a hard line. ¡°Answer my question, Sierra,¡± he hisses, voice low and

    dangerous.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t know it¡¯s now a crime toe to a bar,¡± I mutter tly. ¡°What are you? Pregnant women police?¡±

    His jaw ticks, and his eyes burn. His fists are clenched by his side and I know he¡¯s doing everything he

    can to contain his fury.

    He eyes the ss in my hand. ¡°You shouldn¡¯t be drinking.¡±

    My eyes widen just a fraction before I contain my surprise. I don¡¯t know what games he¡¯s ying, but I

    want no part of it.

    ¡°As if you care, Noah,¡± I scoff. ¡°You want no part in my baby¡¯s life, so why should it bother you whether <b>I </b>drink myself stupid?¡±

    ¡°This shows I¡¯m right,¡± he growls. ¡°You¡¯re not responsible enough to take care of a baby if you¡¯re out here

    drinking weeks after finding out you¡¯re pregnant.¡±

    What a confusing man. What the hell did he care? Or is this a way to tear me down? To try and twist

    things so it seem il¡¯m unfit to be a mother?

    I feel my muscles tense, ready to snap back. I can¡¯t stand his condescending tone or his superiority

    ¡°Really? You¡¯re thest person who should be lecturing me on responsibility. Need I remind you of your

    addiction? Did responsibility for your kids ever cross your mind when you were using drugs to cope?¡± <b>I </b>am my words like bullets.

    I see a sh of something in his eyes¨Cfrustration and disbelief.

    It might be a low blow, but I¡¯m done letting him walk all over me. If he thinks he cane after me, I¡¯ll

    remind him he¡¯s not some perfect supernatural being. He¡¯s not better in any way.

    I¡¯m shaking with fury that even now, even as adults, he still tries to tear me down. To make me feel like

    I¡¯m worthless. Why did I let that happen for so long?

    Lilly¡¯s handnds on mine. ¡°You okay?¡± she murmurs. I nod, swallowing down the bitterness in my throat.

    Noah takes a deliberate step forward. The air between us crackles like static. ¡°You¡¯re going to regret this,

    Sierra,¡± he growls, eyes narrowed, deadly.

    I am so fucking tired of the threats. Why does he keep repeating the same thing as if it¡¯s going to change

    my mind? As if that¡¯s all it will take to make me stand down? It¡¯s beginning to sound ridiculous.

 Figured 594

    Before I can respond, Lilly moves like lightning, swinging her fist in a perfect arc. Her knuckles connect with his stomach. Not hard enough to injure, but enough to knock the wind out of him. Noah staggers back, a rare sh of shock in his eyes.

    ¡°What the fuck, Lilly!¡± Noah snaps. ¡°I¡¯m your cousin.¡±

    ¡°And she¡¯s my best friend¡­ threaten her again and I¡¯ll rip out your tongue and sew it back in upside down -then we¡¯ll see how brave you feel.¡±

    Noah¡¯s fingers curl into fists at his sides, jaw clenched. His anger radiates, sharp and raw, and I can¡¯t help but feel a twinge of satisfaction. He¡¯s never been caught off guard like this before.

    Gunner, who had been watching the whole thing like it¡¯s a show, chuckles.

    ¡°Wow<b>, </b>sir,¡± he says, ncing at Noah. ¡°Getting hit by your own cousin. Brutal.¡±

    Hisughter is cutting but yful, and I feel a small, mischievous thrill at the barb aimed at Noah.

    Gunner pulls me up by the arms and hugs me. ¡°Hey Love,¡± he kisses my cheek.

    Forgetting Noah, I grin at him. ¡°Hi Gun!¡±

    I may have a problem with Noah, but Gunner is nothing but an angel. Always was, always is and I hope he always will be.

    ¡°You¡¯re the only one who calls me that,¡± he says, stepping away, mock¨Cpouting. ¡°And I¡¯m pissed you didn¡¯t

    tell me I¡¯m going to be an uncle.¡±

    ¡°Sorry, everything¡¯s been¡­¡± I nce at Noah. ¡°¡­a bit overwhelming, given some people¡¯s less¨Cthan¨Cster

    attitudes.¡±

    Noah¡¯s fingers curl into fists again, but I¡¯m done giving a shit about him.

    ¡°You can make it up to me by making me the godfather,¡± Gunner winks.

    ¡°Done,¡± I say immediately. He¡¯ll make a great godfather, just like Lilly will make a great godmother.

    Gunner¡¯s teasing grin spreads into a wide smile, and I can¡¯t help returning it.

    ¡°Am I a wall or something?<i>¡± </i>Lilly asks, narrowing her eyes at Gunner.

    ¡°Sorry, got carried away for a moment,¡± he says, mimicking her expression, which in turn makes Lilly

    smile.

    For a while, we exist in our own little bubble, ignoring Noah¡­ until he decides to ruin the moment with

    his bad vibes.

    ¡°Gunner, are you done gushing like a fucking pussy over a baby that¡¯s not even born?¡±

    Gunner res at him, but Noah just rolls his eyes before settling his death stare back on me.

    I force myself to breathe, trying to steady the adrenaline pounding in my chest.

    Lilly grabs my hand, her grip tight and insistent. ¡°Come on,¡± she says, her voice fierce. ¡°We¡¯re leaving.¡±

    We say a quick goodbye to Gunner before storming out of the bar, my heart hammering in my chest, every step a mix of relief and lingering tension.

    I can¡¯t help but wonder what he¡¯s thinking. That look he gave me in the bar¡­ it wasn¡¯t just anger. There was something else there. Maybe he¡¯s wondering why I¡¯m not cowering, why I¡¯m still standing tall. Maybe he¡¯s already nning his next move, deciding how to corner me, to make me bend to his will.

    The sounds of the city wash over us as we step into the night. Lilly mutters under her breath, still fuming about Noah¡¯s arrogance, and I let out a smallugh to mask my lingering nerves.

    We pause at the curb, and I take a shaky breath, trying to calm my pulse.

    ¡°Are you okay?¡± Lilly asks. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I didn¡¯t know he¡¯de here. I wouldn¡¯t have brought if I had.¡±

    ¡°I know that, Lilly,¡± I tell her. ¡°And don¡¯t worry, I¡¯m fine. He can¡¯t break me, not this time.¡±

    Lilly says something as she tugs me towards her car, but I can¡¯t hear her as my attention is drawn to a masked figure. Everything fades as I lock eyes with him, his eyes so cold they send a shiver down my spine.

    ¡°Si?<b>¡± </b>

    I shake my head, pulled back by Lilly¡¯s voice. She has my door open, waiting. I slide in.

    She starts the car, and when I nce back across the street, no one is there.

    Maybe I¡¯m just imagining things, but I swear he was there and he was staring right at us.

 Figured 595

    <b>Chapter </b><b>595 </b>

    Noah

    The bar feels empty the moment they step out, leaving the stale hum of conversation and the clink of sses behind.

    Gunner leans against the bar. ¡°What was that, Noah? You were an asshole.¡±

    <b>¡°</b>I wasn¡¯t,¡± I reply coolly. <b>¡°</b>I was being honest.¡±

    ¡°That wasn¡¯t honesty¡­ that was a tactical aim to cause maximum damage!¡± Gunner growls. ¡°Why do you

    keep hurting Sierra? It¡¯s not like she got herself pregnant.¡±

    We¡¯ve been friends for years, so I know when Gunner is pissed. He kept a light atmosphere, probably for Sierra¡¯s sake, but now that they¡¯re gone, he¡¯s making his views clear.

    ¡°She probably did<i>,</i>¡± I mutter before calling a waitress over.

    ¡°Fuck! Stop being such a douche. I know you don¡¯t want the baby, but you could have handled the

    situation better<b>.</b>¡±

    I shrug, smooth as ice. ¡°I handled it just fine.¡±

    ¡°Uh¨Chuh,¡± he says sarcastically. ¡°Sure, that¡¯s why you were tearing her down with your words.¡±

    I clench my fists, still pissed by her words. ¡°You are acting as if I were the only one throwing barbs.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m d she threw those barbs,¡± he leans back in his seat. ¡°You¡¯ve been insulting her for years while she kept quiet, silently taking it. I¡¯m d to see she¡¯s finally fighting your ass.¡±

    I roll my eyes, but a flicker rises in my chest that I don¡¯t want to name. I don¡¯t even know why <b>I </bmented about the baby. I shouldn¡¯t care. Shouldn¡¯t care about what happens with the baby. Yet the words slipped before <b>I </b>could stop them.

    I remain silent<b>, </b>brooding over today¡¯s turn of events. This is one <b>of </b>Gunner¡¯s favorite bars, mainly because it¡¯s not associated with any of our family names. I just wanted to rx and catch up with him since we haven¡¯t talked since that day at the club. I didn¡¯t expect to run into Sierra.

    ¡°You¡¯ve got more fire arguing with her than you¡¯ve shown in the years since Chloe died,¡± Gunner says, breaking the silence.

    ¡°I was not arguing,¡± I scoff, taking a sip from my ss, deflecting, forcing it down. <b>¡°</b><b>I </b>don¡¯t care what she

    <b>does</b><b>.</b><b>¡± </b>

    I honestly don¡¯t <b>care</b>. Otherwise<b>, </b>if I did, would I be telling her to get rid of the baby<b>? </b>

    I nce toward the window, and the movement catches my eye. A masked man is standing across the

    street watching. My irritation spikes. The fact that he¡¯s hiding his face means he¡¯s paparazzi and doesn¡¯t want to be recognized. They know I¡¯m not too fond of them and crossing me could ruin their career or

    theirpany.

    I bite back a growl, shoving down the irritation. As long as there are no pictures tomorrow, I have no problem with what they do.

    Gunner watches me, reading the slight flicker of unease.

    ¡°You know, the way you reacted is almost as if¡ª¡±

    I snap, hackles rising. ¡°Don¡¯t you dare finish that sentence.¡±

    He doesn¡¯t flinch. ¡°Hear me out. I¡¯m just saying that you¡¯ve been living like the dead since Chloe died. But apart from the twins, Sierra¡¯s the only one who seems to shake that off. She¡¯s been able to bring out

    emotion in you.¡±

    The words sting, and I tighten my jaw. ¡°You¡¯re overstepping, Gunner.¡±

    ¡°But I¡¯m not wrong. You haven¡¯t been this angry in years. You¡¯ve been numb, and she made you feel something other than sadness and depression.¡±

    ¡°All I feel is anger and hatred¡­ Don¡¯t make it seem like it¡¯s something special or some shit like love.¡±

    ¡°Hate is such a strong word,<i>¡± </i>he tsks. ¡°But remember there¡¯s a fine line between love and hate.¡±

    I nce back at the window again. The masked figure is gone. No trace, just the space where he stood.

    I set my ss down, rigid. Gunner leans back, smirking like he knows the storm inside me. Then he drops

    the grenade:

    ¡°All this happening is good, because let¡¯s face it, since Chloe died, you¡¯ve been nothing but a ghost.¡±

    Iugh. Loud and sharp. But inside, it¡¯s a strike thatnds, brutal and unrelenting.

    Outside, shadows stretch across the street, the night quiet except for the asional car. Inside, I feel a crack I¡¯m not ready to name yet.

    I sit back, trying to steady my breathing, but the ss in my hand feels heavier than it should. Gunner¡¯s words echo in my head.

    A ghost. Hollow, cold and untouchable. That¡¯s what I¡¯ve been since Chloe died.

    Against my will, my mind drifts to Sierra. I see her smile, the one that doesn¡¯t reach her eyes when she¡¯s pretending not to care. The curve of her jaw, the hardness in her gaze when she talks back.

    Now, I can¡¯t stop thinking about her. About the way she fought me, the way she stared me down, the sharpness in her words, or how she stood her ground.

    She¡¯s different from what I¡¯m used to. From how I used to know her. I can¡¯t find the timid girl I used to know no matter how hard I search. Now all there is, is a woman with a sharp tongue, lots of attitude and

    a palm she¡¯s not afraid to use.

    I stop, pushing the thoughts away. It¡¯s unsettling that I¡¯m even thinking about her.

    Gunner notices my silence, smirking knowingly. ¡°You¡¯re thinking about her, aren¡¯t you?¡±

    I bristle. ¡°I¡¯m¡­ considering the situation.¡±

    ¡°Sure,¡± he says, leaning back, arms crossed. ¡°You¡¯re only thinking about the situation, not about how she¡¯s gotten under your skin.¡±

    I snarl, turning my re to him, ¡°Now you¡¯re just being fucking delusional.¡±

    Heughs, but this knowing look stays on his face. It¡¯s like he knows a divine secret I don¡¯t.

    ¡°I think Sierra might be the first woman to make you feel again<i>,</i><i>¡± </i>Gunner says with conviction. ¡°And maybe, just maybe, she¡¯s the one to make your heart beat again.¡±

    I dismiss his words. He¡¯s wrong. There¡¯s no chance in hell of that happening. Sierra is thest woman I¡¯ll

    ever fall in love with.

    Famousst words. A voice whispers.

 Figured 596

    The drive home feels longer than it should. Gunner¡¯s voice is still in my head, taunting me.

    ¡°She¡¯s the first thing to make your heart beat again¡­ since Chloe, you¡¯ve been nothing but a ghost.¡±

    I grip the steering wheel harder than necessary. He doesn¡¯t know what he¡¯s talking about. Sierra doesn¡¯t make my heart beat, she makes me want to explode, and not in a good kind of way. Every encounter with her is filled with hate and heated arguments. There is nothing positive about that.

    I get home and just take a moment to breathe. Nn and Nova are probably asleep even though it¡¯s the weekend. I spent some time with them before meeting with Gunner. When I left<b>, </b>they were watching

    cartoons.

    The house greets me in silence; its wide halls dim and still. For a moment, I wee it. Quietness is easier than the storm in my head. But as I step further inside, I hear the faintest sniffle. Then, footsteps.

    Brook emerges from the sitting room, her movements slow. Her eyes glisten, and one cheek carries a faint redness¨Clike the aftermark of a p. She looks fragile, like ss ready to shatter.

    I stop cold. ¡°What happened?¡±

    She hesitates, lowering her gaze as though ashamed. ¡°Nothing¡­ it¡¯s nothing.¡±

    ¡°Brook.¡± My voice hardens. ¡°What happened?¡±

    Her lip trembles. ¡°Sierra.¡±

    Every muscle in my body tightens. ¡°What about Sierra?¡±

    ¡°She-¡± Brook swallows hard, tears catching in her throat. ¡°She pped me, Noah. Out of nowhere. I don¡¯t

    even understand why.<b>¡± </b>

    I stare at her, words snagging in my throat. pped her? Sierra? What the fuck is wrong with that woman? She¡¯s always despised Chloe and Brook, but hitting Brook? Unprovoked? That¡¯s insanity

    Brook steps closer, her fragility sharpened with each word. ¡°She looked at me like I was nothing. Like I was in her way. And then she said it¡­¡±

    My chest tightens. ¡°Said what?¡±

    Brook meets my <b>eyes</b><b>, </b>her own brimming with pain and tears. ¡°She told me to get to pack my bags. That she¡¯ll soon be the new Mrs. Noah Woods, and that there was no longer a ce for me in your house<b>, </b>so I should just leave.¡±

    The air leaves my lungs. If I thought I¡¯d been pissed<b>? </b>I was wrong because now I¡¯mpletely livid.

    Brook¡¯s voice cracks, whispering, ¡°She said it like Chloe¡¯s memory means nothing. Like the years you

    spent with her meant nothing.¡±

    I clench my jaw, torn between disbelief and fury. Who the fuck does she think she is, spewing such bullshit? Ordering Brook to leave? She¡¯s lost her goddamn mind!

    Brook continues twisting the knife ¡°She hates me because I remind her of Chloe. Maybe she can¡¯t stand that you once loved someone else. That you chose Chloe over her. She wants me to leave and make room

    for her and her baby.¡±

    My jaw clenches so tight it aches. Who the hell does Sierra think she is? Ordering Brook out of this house, spitting on Chloe¡¯s memory, iming a title that isn¡¯t hers? Has shepletely lost her mind, or does she think the baby gives her leverage?

    ¡°When did this happen?¡± I grind out.

    ¡°At the mall,¡± Brook says softly, trembling as if the events of what happened still have her shaken. ¡°She cornered me while I was shopping. People were watching, Noah. I was so embarrassed. She made me feel

    so small<b>.</b><b>¡± </b>

    My chest heaves. I should have known. I did know. Sierra¡¯s been a viper from the beginning. And yet,

    every time she stoops lower, it still manages to shock me.

    Brook lowers hershes, whispering, ¡°I didn¡¯t even see her until she was right in front of me. I was minding my business. She justshed out.¡±

    The image burns behind my eyes. Sierra at the bar earlier, fire sparking in her gaze. That same fire would have no problem striking Brook. After all, hasn¡¯t she pped me before? Violence and venom drip from

    her like second nature.

    If I had known. If Brook had told me sooner, I would have confronted that viper at the bar and made her

    wish she hadn¡¯t crossed Brook.

    ¡°Noah,¡± Brooks calls with pain shing in her eyes.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°She¨CShe,¡± she pauses and takes a deep breath. ¡°She said that She¡¯ll make you forget Chloe. That she¡¯ll make sure you¡¯re so in love with her that Chloe will cease existing in your heart.¡±

    For a moment<b>, </b><b>I </b>just stare at her. The words don¡¯tnd all at once¨Cthey crawl under my skin, snake into my veins<b>, </b>and then erupt like fire.

    My vision blurs red. Heat rushes up my neck, pounding in my temples. ¡°She said what?<b>¡± </b>My voicees <b>out </b>raw, jagged, like it¡¯s been dragged through broken ss.

    Brook flinches, but the damage is done. The match has already hit the gasoline.

    ¡°Forget Chloe?¡± Myugh is sharp, twisted, and not even human. I shove the coffee table so hard it scrapes across the floor and ms into the wall. Amp topples, shattering, ss spraying across the

    hardwood.

    ¡°She thinks she can erase Chloe from me?!¡± My chest heaves as I grab the nearest photo frame¨CChloe smiling, sunlight in her hair¨Cand my hand shakes so violently I nearly drop it. My breathes in ragged bursts. <b>¡°</b>No one erases Chloe! No one!¡±

    The rage ws out of me, uncontroble. I feel like I¡¯m about to explode.

    I¡¯m pacing now, fistsclenching and, unclenching, my throat burning with a sound between a growl and a roar. ¡°She¡¯s out of her damn mind. She wants me to just forget the only woman who ever-¡± My voice cracks, but I crush it down with another shout. ¡°Chloe is mine and I am hers. Not even death will change

    that.¡±

    My chest feels like it¡¯s splitting open. The grief I¡¯ve kept chained for years writhes free, tangled with fury so sharp it feels like knives inside me. I m my fist into the wall, ster crumbling under the force.

    Brook sobs softly behind me, but I can¡¯t stop. I¡¯m spiraling, choking on every word Sierra supposedly said. My house feels too small, my skin tootight, and, my heart too wrecked.

    I never bothered with her life, but now I need to know every fucking detail. Every dirty secret she has.

    I yank my phone from my pocket and dial a number given to me by my dad, but I¡¯ve never had use of it.

    ¡°Hello,¡±es a groggy voice.

    ¡°Get me every single fucking think on Sierra Meyers.¡±

    I don¡¯t wait; <b>I </b>just hang up. I¡¯m too pissed and too wired to be civil.

    Sierra just crossed and made this personal by attacking Chloe¡¯s memory. If it¡¯s war she wants, it¡¯s war she¡¯ll get.

    X

 Figured 597

    <b>Chapter </b>597

    Sierra.

    Mondays. Don¡¯t you just hate Mondays? I don¡¯t know what it is about this day, but it carries its own cursed energy. Honestly, I¡¯ve never met anyone who truly loves Monday. Even if you love what you do, you can¡¯t help but despise the weight thates with it.

    It¡¯s past midday and I¡¯m still struggling to focus. Maybe it¡¯s because I¡¯ve been home for almost two weeks,

    or maybe it¡¯s just the Monday curse, but my brain refuses to get back in gear.

    For what feels like the hundredth time today, I sigh and push aside the organism I was studying.

    ¡°Are you okay?¡± Benjie asks, watching me closely.

    He really is a sweetheart. Kind, steady, and one of the most dedicated members of my team. If there¡¯s an angel among us, it¡¯s him. Always making sure everyone¡¯s alright, even when he¡¯s buried in his own work.

    ¡°I¡¯m okay,<b>¡± </b>I say, leaning back in my chair.

    ¡°You know,¡± his eyes flicker briefly to my belly, <b>¡°</b><b>If </b>you¡¯re tired, we can take a break.¡±

    Am I tired? Maybe. Probably. But it¡¯s not just about that.

    I love my job. I honestly do. I always wanted to be a research biologist, so achieving that felt like a

    dreame true.

    It became my life purpose and for years, I lived and breathed research. I was so dedicated to it that it¡¯s all I knew. I never took leave or missed a day unless I was seriously sick. Work was my heartbeat.

    But now? Things are different. It¡¯s not just me anymore. As much as I love my work, my babyes first.

    Lately, I¡¯ve been toying with the thought, though I haven¡¯t made a final decision: maybe I should take a break until a few months after the baby is born¡­ or maybe work until eight months and then stay home until the baby is old enough for day care. Maybe a year and a half or two.

    We don¡¯t usually deal with anything dangerous or fatal, but that doesn¡¯t mean I¡¯m ready to risk my baby¡¯s health. The only downside is that I¡¯ll probably die of boredom, having nothing to do at home.

    ¡°Sierra? Are you sure you¡¯re okay?¡± Benjie¡¯s voice pulls me back again, full of concern.

    I give him a small smile. ¡°I¡¯m fine. Just a little distracted.¡±

    He opens his mouth to say more, but Jocelyn beats him to it.

    Distracted by your pregnancy?¡± she sneers.

    I snap my head toward Benjie, narrowing my eyes. ¡°You told her!?¡±

    I know I¡¯d eventually start to show, but thest person I wanted to know, especially this early, is Jocelyn. She¡¯s toxicity wrapped in human skin, and she¡¯d probably light candles wishing for nothing but the worst

    for me.

    Benjie throws up his gloved hand like a man facing arrest. ¡°I swear, I didn¡¯t tell her anything.¡±

    ¡°Chill your panties,¡± Jocelyn rolls her eyes. ¡°I saw you going into a gynecologist¡¯s clinic.¡±

    I arch a brow, folding my arms. ¡°And you automatically assumed I¡¯m pregnant? I could¡¯ve gone in for a

    pap smear.¡±

    ¡°I waited outside the clinic and saw the doctor hand you what looked like ultrasounds.¡±

    The room freezes. My jaw drops. Everyone else stares at her like she just confessed to murder.

    That¡¯s not creepy at all.

    A shiver honestly runs down my back.

    ¡°You do realize that¡¯s called stalking?¡± I ask, unsettled by how unapologetic she looks.

    ¡°I did nothing wrong. I could¡¯ve been waiting for someone at the curb,<i>¡± </i>she replies smugly.

    ¡°You literally admitted you saw me walk in and decided to wait outside just to spy on me. That¡¯s not

    waiting. That¡¯s obsession and it¡¯s kind of wrong, not to mention creepy as fuck.¡±

    She shrugs, victorious. ¡°What¡¯s important is what I saw. And judging by your reaction, I was right. You¡¯re pregnant. Which means you can¡¯t work with us anymore. So that leaves me in charge.¡±

    Heavens! The arrogance of this woman. I try as much as I can to be civil, but she always has a way <b>of </b>getting under my skin. I¡¯m supposed to set a good example as a leader, but one of these days I¡¯m going to

    lose it and she¡¯ll end up meeting the backside of my hand.

    ¡°There are no rules against pregnant women working, Jocelyn. Get that fantasy out of your head.¡±

    Before she can open her mouth again, the rest of the team crowds around me, shoving her aside.

    We¡¯re eight in total, and except for Jocelyn, everyone congrattes me, their happiness genuine, their excitement wrapping around me like a hug.

    For a moment, I let myself bask in it. Until Jocelyn poisons the air again.

    ¡°So,¡± her voice drips venom, ¡°who did you spread your legs for? I bet my whole fortune it was some old, fat, ugly man.¡±

    ¡°Would you shut your filthy mouth, Jocelyn!¡±

    The voice doesn¡¯t belong to me. It belongs to Rose.

    Sweet, quiet, soft¨Cspoken Rose. The one who barely raises her voice above a whisper now ms her palm on the table, ring daggers at Jocelyn.

    ¡°You see nothing but ugliness because that¡¯s what¡¯s inside you. You assume she slept with an old guy

    because that¡¯s exactly what you would do.¡±

    The room is stunned. Rose never, ever snaps. But now, her words cut like ss.

    ¡°We all know the reason you¡¯re not team leader isn¡¯t because of Sierra¡¯s connections,<i>¡± </i><i>Rose </i>continues, her

    voice shaking with fury. ¡°It¡¯s because you¡¯re mean and bitter, and no one likes you. Maybe fix whatever is rotting inside you instead of making everyone else miserable.¡±

    Jocelyn is a nasty piece of work and a huge bully. So many of our colleagues have madeints, hoping she¡¯ll get fired but it never happened. Her terrible personality aside, she¡¯s one of the best researchers, so as much as thepany can¡¯t make her team leader because most of our juniors will probably strike, they also can¡¯t afford to let her go.

    Jocelyn¡¯s face twists into rage. Her eyes ze, her fists clench, and she takes a threatening step forward, ready tosh out.

    I instinctively pull Rose behind me as the men in our group move in, forming a wall between us and Jocelyn.

    ¡°Move!¡± she snarls. ¡°No one and I mean no one talks to me like that.¡±

    Before the situation can explode, the door opens.

    Our secretary steps in, calm but cutting through the tension like a de.

    ¡°Si, there¡¯s someone in the lobby waiting to see you.¡±

    X

 Figured 598

    Chapter <b>598 </b>

    Everyone stops, and I still in my ce. Like I said, I take my job very seriously, so anyone close to me knows not toe to my workce unless it¡¯s important.

    ¡°Si?¡± Secretary Agnes calls again, pulling me from my thoughts.

    ¡°Sorry,¡± I reply quickly. ¡°I¡¯ming.¡±

    My heart is pounding as all sorts of scenarios rush through my head. What if it¡¯s a police officer here to tell me someone¡¯s been in an ident?

    I try to read Agnes, but her expression is maddeningly calm. I can¡¯t read a single thing. No hint of what¡¯s waiting for me in the lobby.

    I turn to my team, and they give me reassuring smiles. It almost feels like I¡¯m a kid again, being called to the principal¡¯s office because Lilly somehow convinced me to do something stupid and reckless.

    ¡°Go,¡± Benjie tells me. ¡°I¡¯ll take care of everything.¡±

    I nod and move to follow Agnes. Just as I¡¯m exiting the door, Jocelyn mutters under her breath, her voice

    ¡°Her ancient baby daddy is probably here to give her hush money so she doesn¡¯t b anything to his

    wife.¡±

    I shake my head. Dear God, how does shee up with such ridiculous fantasies? The lengths she goes to just to viinize me are truly baffling.

    Ignoring her, I follow Agnes.

    ¡°Is something wrong? Who is it?¡± I ask.

    She nces back with a small smile. ¡°You¡¯ll see.¡±

    That doesn¡¯t give me much, but the fact that she¡¯s smiling at me means something. If it were bad news, it would be the opposite.

    Ifort myself with that even though my heart is racing and my palms are sweaty.

    We get to the reception, and there is no one there.

    Agnes notices me looking around and only smiles again. She slips behind her desk. ¡°He¡¯s probably outside.¡±

    I nod, bracing myself, and head for the doors<b>. </b>

    The second I step outside, I spot him. Even with his back turned, I¡¯d know him anywhere.

    Everyone stops, and I still in my ce. Like I said, I take my job very seriously<i>, </i>so anyone close <i>to </i>me knows not toe to my workce unless it¡¯s important.

    ¡°Si?¡± Secretary Agnes calls again, pulling me from my thoughts.

    ¡°Sorry,¡± I reply quickly. ¡°I¡¯ming.¡±

    My heart is pounding as all sorts of scenarios rush through my head. What if it¡¯s a police officer here to tell me someone¡¯s been in an ident?

    I try to read Agnes, but her expression is maddeningly calm. I can¡¯t read a single thing. No hint of what¡¯s waiting for me in the lobby.

    I turn to my team, and they give me reassuring smiles. It almost feels like I¡¯m a kid again, being called to the principal¡¯s office because Lilly somehow convinced me to do something stupid and reckless.

    ¡°Go,¡± Benjie tells me. ¡°I¡¯ll take care of everything.¡±

    I nod and move to follow Agnes. Just as I¡¯m exiting the door, Jocelyn mutters under her breath, her voice

    ¡°Her ancient baby daddy is probably here to give her hush money so she doesn¡¯t b anything to his

    wife<i>.</i>¡±

    I shake my head. Dear God, how does shee up with such ridiculous fantasies? The lengths she goes to just to viinize me are truly baffling.

    Ignoring her, I follow Agnes.

    ¡°Is something wrong? Who is it?¡± I ask.

    She nces back with a small smile. ¡°You¡¯ll see.¡±

    That doesn¡¯t give me much, but the fact that she¡¯s smiling at me means something. If it were bad news, it would be the opposite.

    Ifort myself with that even though my heart is racing and my palms are sweaty.

    We get to the reception, and there is no one there.

    Agnes notices me looking around and only smiles again. She slips behind her desk. ¡°He¡¯s probably outside.¡±

    I nod, bracing myself, and head for the doors.

    The second I step outside, I spot him. Even with his back turned, I¡¯d know him anywhere.

    Damn it. What the hell is he doing here?

    Combing through my mind, I make a split¨Csecond decision. I¡¯ll just turn and leave before he spots me. That¡¯s better than dealing with him, right?

    I honestly don¡¯t have the time and energy to argue with him.

    I turn, ready to bolt inside, when his deep voice cuts through the air.

    ¡°Seriously, Sierra,¡± he says tly. ¡°Were you just going to ignore me?¡±

    Sighing, I turn to face him. ¡°Yes.¡±

    In seconds, he¡¯s towering over me, his zing eyes boring into mine. Heavens, how I wish I had the

    height so he wouldn¡¯t always get to look down at me like this.

    ¡°I think we said all we needed to say,¡± I tell him firmly. ¡°So, I don¡¯t understand why you showed up at my

    workce. I thought I already made things clear when I blocked your ass.¡±

    ¡°You think I¡¯d just let you go after what you did? After what you said?¡±

    Here we go again. Him using me of things I don¡¯t even know about. Sometimes I wonder if all the

    usations he¡¯s thrown at me over the years were born from his own imagination or some sob stories

    whispered into his ear by Chloe or Brook, so he¡¯d hate me¡­ Probably both.

    ¡°Okay,¡± I breathe. ¡°Enlighten me. What did I do this time?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t fucking pretend you don¡¯t know!¡± he growls, the sound vibrating deep from his chest.

    ¡°Apparently I suffer from memory loss, so why don¡¯t you remind me?¡±

    ¡°You pped Brook!¡± he roars, fury radiating from him.

    Right. I¡¯d already forgotten about that.

    ¡°Yes, I did. But only because-¡±

    He cuts me off. ¡°So you admit it! You pped her.¡±

    ¡°I already said I did!¡± My voice rises with exasperation.

    Why is it that dealing with Noah nowadays feels like I¡¯m dealing with a child throwing a huge tantrum? It¡¯s exhausting.

    ¡°And then you dared to tell her to leave. That you¡¯ll soon rece Chloe in my heart and my home.¡±

    ¡°Wait a damn minute, I didn¡¯t-¡±

    He steps into my personal space, anger rolling off him so hard I feel suffocated.

    ¡°How dare you assault Brook at the mall and then spew those disgusting words? Do you know how much she cried? How humiliated she was? And then to say you¡¯ll kick her out and rece Chloe. That¡¯s a new

    low even for you.¡±

 Figured 599

    Chapter <b>599 </b>

    His hand mps around my arm, fingers digging in too tightly. I wince, struggling to pull free.

    ¡°Let me make something clear,¡± he hisses. ¡°You will never and I mean never rece Chloe. You can¡¯t even measure up so what makes you think you can¡¯t take her ce? What makes you think that I¡¯d ever fall in love with a vicious viper like you?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re hurting me, Noah.¡±

    But he doesn¡¯t listen. His grip only tightens, cutting into my skin. It¡¯s like he¡¯s under a spell when ites to Brook and Chloe, because even now, when he¡¯s literally hurting me, nothing can get through to

    that thick skull of his.

    I push at him, uselessly, about to give up when suddenly I¡¯m wrenched free.

    ¡°Back the fuck off,¡± Benjie snaps, shoving Noah away. ¡°Can¡¯t you see you¡¯re hurting her?¡±

    Noah snarls. ¡°This is none of your fucking business.¡±

    ¡°It is when you¡¯re assaulting a woman in broad daylight,¡± Benjie shoots back. ¡°What the hell is wrong with you?¡±

    Noah¡¯s fists clench and his jaw ticks. He sizes Benjie up and then dismisses him like he¡¯s nothing. His rage swings back to me.

    ¡°You¡¯ll never be even a third of the woman Chloe was. So get it through your fucking head, you will never

    rece her.<b>¡± </b>

    I rub at my sore arm, red marks blooming under my skin. My chest is burning with fury.

    ¡°Are you an idiot, Noah?¡±

    ¡°What the fuck did you just say?¡± he growls, stepping forward, but Benjie blocks him again, shielding me.

    I tug on Benjie¡¯s sleeve and shake my head. I need to finish this. Otherwise, Noah will never stoping

    at me over ridiculous lies

    Benjie hesitates, then steps aside.

    ¡°I asked if you¡¯re an idiot,¡± I repeat coldly. ¡°I know Aunt Ava and Uncle Rowan, and I¡¯m damn sure they didn¡¯t raise a son dumb enough to believe every word his bitch of a sister¨Cinw spits out.¡±

    ¡°Why you-¡±

    ¡°Shut up,¡± I snap. ¡°You had your chance to talk. Now it¡¯s my turn.¡±

    ¡°Yes, I pped Brook. And honestly? I¡¯d do it again a thousand times. Because she came to my home,

    insulted me, and threatened me. I¡¯ll fight anyone whoes after my baby, Noah. Including you and that demon you call a sister¨Cinw.¡±

    His body stiffens, the first cracks of doubt flickering in his eyes. ssic Noah, blindly believing Brook without any evidence, except a few tears from her.

    ¡°She imed I assaulted her in public? Where¡¯s the proof? Everyone knows who she is. If I had really attacked her, it would¡¯ve been in the gossip blogs within minutes, or better yet, don¡¯t you think someone would¡¯ve told you the moment it happened, knowing well how the noble Noah is protective of histe

    wife¡¯s sister?¡±

    For once, he falters. The anger in his stance wavers, uncertainty slipping in.

    ¡°Do you really think I¡¯d risk tarnishing Aunt Ava and Uncle Rowan¡¯s names¨Cor Lilly¡¯s¨Cby attacking Brook in public?¡±

    His jaw tightens, but this time it¡¯s not rage. It¡¯s realization.

    ¡°I admit I pped her. But only because she came to my home and crossed a line. Don¡¯t twist it into something it wasn¡¯t. Now leave, before I forget we¡¯re in public and castrate you forying a hand on me.¡±

    His eyes ze, but he says nothing. He res at me onest time before stomping off toward his car. Momentster, he¡¯s gone through the main gates.

    I exhale, shakily, and turn to Benjie. ¡°Thank you for being here.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s nothing<i>,</i><i>¡± </i>he says softly. <b>¡°</b>I was heading to the break room for water when I saw him grab you.¡±

    So grateful for small miracles.

    I swallow. ¡°Could you please keep what you heard between us?¡±

    I¡¯m grateful that most people were in theirbs working, so there wasn¡¯t anyone here to witness what

    happened.

    ¡°Of course. My lips are sealed.¡± He gives me a small smile. ¡°Now,e on. Let¡¯s get you something to

    drink.¡±

    We start to head back and I freeze in my tracks because I see her. Jocelyn.

    It isn¡¯t just the fact that she might have overheard everything that terrifies me. It¡¯s her smile and the evil glint in her eyes,

 Figured 600

    <b>Chapter </b><b>600 </b>

    Anonymous.

    The room is quiet except for the faint tick of the clock on the wall. I lean back in my chair, stretching my legs out, while the <b>two </b>people across from me shift impatiently.

    ¡°You¡¯re taking too long,¡± she mutters in frustration. ¡°We¡¯ve been nning this for years, yet <b>you¡¯re </b>sitting

    here like you have all the time in the world.¡±

    I get her, but it¡¯s not in my nature to rush things, but she doesn¡¯t see it like that at all. All she thinks about

    is how soon we can get results. While all I can think about is how we can get away with murder.

    I¡¯ve been biding my time, waiting patiently for the perfect time and I think finally it is. It¡¯s been torturous

    years, but finally I can make my move.

    I say calmly. ¡°Haven¡¯t <b>you </b>learned anything from me? The best kills aren¡¯t rushed. They¡¯re art. And art

    takes time.¡±

    She scowls, but I continue before they can interrupt.

    A low chuckle escapes me. ¡°There¡¯s no hurry. Don¡¯t you see? I already made the first move.¡±

    Her eyes narrow impatiently. ¡°And?¡±

    ¡°And she¡¯s still dumb as a doorknob.¡± I smirk, recalling Sierra¡¯s confusion when the car nearly hit her.

    She didn¡¯t question anything. Any normal person, when faced with that, tries to question things? But she didn¡¯t, even when the owner of the car didn¡¯t roll down the window to apologize for almost knocking her down. That a whole different level of clueless.

    I continue, ¡°Even with the note, even after sending someone to rattle her, she remains clueless. Exactly how I want her. The less she suspects, the easier this will be. By the time she realizes someone¡¯s after her, it¡¯ll already be toote.¡±

    ¡°And she¡¯ll be dead,¡± my otherpanion finishes.

    ¡°Exactly.¡±

    It annoyed me at first how dumb Sierra was for one of the best researchers, but after thinking about it I realized I could use that to my advantage. If she remains clueless, then she won¡¯t rush to get the police involved. It will buy me time for my n to work.

    She leans forward, greed in her eyes, voice sharp. ¡°But what if someone else catches on? Noah. Lilly. Even her aunts. You know how protective they are-<b>¡± </b>

    <b>¡°</b>Noah doesn¡¯t <b>give </b>two shits about her,¡± I reply.

    ¡°Noah aside, she has Lilly and those aunts and uncles¡­ They¡¯re all powerful; one wrong move and we are caught and when they do catch us, they¡¯ll make our lives a living hell.¡±

    ¡°You worry too much¡­ That¡¯s why we are waiting just as we have done for years.¡± I say steadily. ¡°We wait until everyone¡¯s guard is down. If we act too soon, it¡¯ll draw attention, and I won¡¯t risk that. When she

    dies, it won¡¯t be some bloody scene. No. It¡¯ll look like an unfortunate ident. A tragic twist of fate. That

    way, no one will ever think to look my way.¡±

    They fall silent, chewing on my words.

    I let the quiet stretch, then tilt my head with a slow smile. ¡°And now, things have gotten even more

    interesting.¡±

    Her brows furrow. ¡°How so?¡±

    ¡°Brook.¡± Her name tastes bitter on my tongue, but I savor it. ¡°I just found out that she hates Sierra. Which means she¡¯ll serve me, whether she wants to or not. Either as an aplice¡­¡± I pause, my smile widening, ¡°¡­or as a scapegoat if the police start sniffing around. In fact, I think I¡¯ll use her for both. Let her carry out my bidding without even realizing it. I can befriend her; it wouldn¡¯t be hard and when the timees, let her take the fall for everything in case things don¡¯t go the way I nned.¡±

    Unease crosses their faces.

    ¡°Rx,¡± I murmur, leaning forward now, my tone a whisper filled with venom. ¡°She¡¯ll dance to my tune, because I¡¯ll be the friend who shares her hate for Sierra.¡±

    I lean in closer, lowering my voice. ¡°With Brook making things interesting, Sierra will think it¡¯s just bad luck or Brook¡¯s petty games. And when I finally finish her, everyone will think it was either an ident, or Brook took it far and killed her¡­ either way the results will remain the same; Sierra will die and her

    death won¡¯t be tied to me.¡±

    The clock ticks on. I close my eyes and smile.

    I¡¯ve waited for years; I can wait for a few more months.

    Patience. That¡¯s all it takes.

 Figured 601

    <b>Chapter </b><b>601 </b>

    Noah.

    I sit in the bright, sunlit boardroom. I should be focused on the presentation, on the numbers and projections being thrown onto the screen. But I can¡¯t because my head is a battlefield with thoughts colliding and fighting for dominance.

    This is the first time in my life I can¡¯t focus. Focus has always been my strength. Discipline. Control. The ability to drown out the noise and zero in on what mattered. But since that night with Sierra, things have

    been different.

    I don¡¯t want to admit it; hell, I refuse, but maybe Gunner is right. Maybe this is the most alive I¡¯ve been

    since Chloe died.

    For years, I¡¯ve been a hollow shell. Going through the motions. Pretending for my children¡¯s sake, for my

    family¡¯s sake. Forcing emotions I no longer felt. But with Sierra¡­ I feel anger, frustration and fury, sure,

    but I feel something. Something other than numbness. I don¡¯t want any of these feelings, but they remind

    me I¡¯m still human.

    I had epted that that¡¯s how my life will always be, but Sierra is changing that and I hate it. I hate that

    she¡¯s the one dragging me back into feeling.

    For heaven¡¯s sake, this is Sierra we are talking about. Why did it have to be her? The one woman that hurt Chloe more than anyone else. The woman I swore I¡¯d despise until myst breath.

    Her existence is a reminder of betrayal. And yet¡­ she makes me feel. That fact alone makes my guilt

    toward Chloe roar louder than ever.

    ¡°Will you focus?¡± Lilly hisses beside me.

    ¡°I am focused,¡± I lie.

    ¡°Liar.¡±

    I ignore her, narrowing my eyes at the sales rep droning at the front.

    ¡°Our market in China is doing better than expected,¡± Mira beams, pointing at the screen. ¡°Profits have risen fifteen percent, which is doublest month¡¯s numbers.¡±

    Another adds, ¡°Thanks to how well we¡¯ve been doing, We¡¯ve hadpanies approach us, looking to

    coborate.¡±

    ¡°Good,¡± I say tly. ¡°I want a list of them on my desk once this meeting ends.¡±

    ¡°There is one issue though, Mr. Wood,¡± Mira says carefully.

    ¡°What is it?¡±

    ¡°EPG is demanding arger share of profits now that our market is performing well. They¡¯ve even

    threatened to cancel the contract.¡±

    I snort, amused at the audacity.

    ¡°Let them try,¡± Lilly snaps before I can answer. ¡°But remind them breach of contract costs ten billion. If they want to cancel, they¡¯ll bleed for it.¡±

    That¡¯s Lilly. Cold steel wrapped in velvet. Men underestimate her, seeing only a pretty face, only a spoiled

    heiress. And she guts them with her mind before they even realize their mistake.

    Honestly, I love seeing their red faces when Lilly crushes and embarrasses them. It¡¯s a chef¡¯s kiss every

    single fucking time.

    ¡°The contract is irond; they get nothing but what they signed for,¡± I confirm.

    Mira nods before going back to the presentation.

    The numbers on the screen blur together. Quarterly projections, rising costs, market shifts. I hear the words but they don¡¯t stick. My team drones on, waiting for me to chime in, but all I can think about is her.

    I just don¡¯t get it, what is it about her? Why the hell have I thought about her more in these past few weeks than I have in years?

    Shame twists in my gut when I remember the marks on her arm. When I remember how I lost control and

    my hands wrapped around her painfully, hurting her in the process. I didn¡¯t mean to grab her like that,

    but for a second all I saw was red.

    The way she red at me, like I¡¯m a monster, still haunts me. It shouldn¡¯t bother me so much, but for some strange reason it does and that just ticks me off even more.

    Sierra and I have had our ups and downs over the years. I have said some cruel things, but I have never

    crossed that line. Not until yesterday.

    And the worst part? I can¡¯t exin what came over me.

    I¡¯m just fucking d that the other guy stepped in when he did.

    I didn¡¯t confront Brook yesterday, but mainly because I didn¡¯t know who to believe. Still, I can¡¯t ignore the doubt slithering inside me. What if¡­ just what if Brook exaggerated? What if Sierra wasn¡¯t lying?

    Sierra made a lot of sense, but this is Brook; she would never lie to me. Would she?

    The thought, the doubt, makes my chest tighten. Chloe would never forgive me for doubting her sister.

    But Chloe isn¡¯t here anymore, is she? a poisonous voice whispers into my head.

    I ignore the tiny voice and I rake a hand through my hair, wondering how my life became a clusterfuck

    all of a sudden.

    I pull myself together, pushing those thoughts to the back of my head. When I finally blink back to reality, the boardroom is empty. Everyone¡¯s gone. Only Lilly remains.

    I sink back into my chair, staring at nothing. I need to deal with this Sierra problem before it consumes

    me whole.

    ¡°You bastard!¡±

    I turn at the venom in Lilly¡¯s voice.

    Her eyes are zing fire, trained on me with pure disgust.

    ¡°I warned you, Noah,<i>¡± </i>she spits. ¡°I told you to stay away from Sierra. But you just can¡¯t help yourself, can

    you?¡±

    ¡°What the hell are you talking about?¡± My voicees out low and dangerous.

    ¡°This.¡±

    She shoves her phone in my face.

    One nce at the screen, and a growl rips out of me before I can stop it.

    Ch

 Figured 602

    apter 602

    Chapter <b>602 </b>

    What the fuck!

    I stare at the headline, reading it over and over, as if the words will somehow rearrange themselves if I just blink hard enough. They don¡¯t. The words don¡¯t fade; they remain on the screen, ring at me.

    BILLIONAIRE HEIR, NOAH WOODS, SPOTTED OUTSIDE BIO¨CRENEW IN ALTERCATION WITH SIERRA

    MEYERS.

    My jaw clenches as I scroll. More headlines scream back at me, each one worse than thest.

    BILLIONAIRE HEIR ON THE WAY TO COURT FOR ASSAULT CHARGES?

    NOAH WOODS CAUGHT IN ASSAULT SCANDAL.

    WOOD CORPORATION¡¯S CLEAN IMAGE SHATTERED?

    Attached are the photos of me grabbing Sierra outside her workce, caught and frozen in the worst possible angle. A single reckless moment turned into evidence and broadcasted for the world to dissect.

    BILLIONAIRE HEIR ASSAULTS SIERRA MEYERS DAYS AFTER BILLIONAIRE HEIRESS IS SPOTTED

    PROTECTING HER BEST FRIEND.

    ¡°Fuck,¡± I snarl, gripping Lilly¡¯s phone so tightly the ss threatens to crack. She yanks it from my hand

    before I can destroy it.

    Her re is sharp enough to cut. ¡°What the hell is wrong with you, Noah? I get that you don¡¯t like Sierra. I

    get that you don¡¯t want the baby. But assaulting her? At her workce? What the hell?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t assault her,¡± I mutter, but my voice sounds weak. Even to me.

    ¡°From where I¡¯m standing, that¡¯s exactly what it looks like. You don¡¯t just grab someone like Sierra-

    someone half your size¨Cand expect the world to see it any other way.¡±

    Shame burns in my chest. I can¡¯t even think of a single way to defend myself. I¡¯ve never been violent, no

    matter what shit Sierra stirred up. Harsh words, yes. Contempt, absolutely. But violence? Never. I don¡¯t

    even recognize the man in those photos.

    ¡°What is happening to you, Noah? When did you be this kind of man?¡± she asks, her voice sharp and disgusted. ¡°This is a new low, even for you.¡±

    Funny how the same words I said to Sierra are now being said to me.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to,¡± I <b>hiss</b>. My hand ms against the table, the sound echoing through the empty boardroom. ¡°It just happened.¡±

    The pain in my hand does nothing to elevate the storm inside me. It continues taging on, hellbent on

    THE

    pulling me down and swallowing me whole.

    ¡°That¡¯s a weak fucking excuse,¡± she spits back, her words icy. <i>¡°</i>You¡¯ve always been in control. Always. So don¡¯t sit there and tell me you lost it, like some teenager who can¡¯t manage his temper. That¡¯s not who

    you are.¡±

    Her words slice deeper because they¡¯re true. Control was drilled into me my whole life¨Cthink before you act, measure before you move, always be in control¡­ And yet yesterday, I shattered that by doing the

    ¡°Brook told me-<b>¡± </b>

    ¡°Of course,¡± Lilly snaps, throwing up her hands. ¡°One word from that bitch and you abandon all your

    senses.¡±

    ¡°Watch your mouth,¡± I growl.

    ¡°Or what? Are you going to grab me like you did with Sierra?¡± she fires back, standing toe¨Cto¨Ctoe with me. ¡°I¡¯ve tried warning you for years but you never listened. You¡¯re too blind to see how poisonous Brook is and how conniving Chloe was. Brook whispers in your ear, and you forget yourself and hurt Sierra. And now the whole world gets to watch you unravel because you can¡¯t tell the difference between truth and

    maniptions.¡±

    There was a time when we were younger, especially after Chloe and Brook transferred to our school,

    when Chloe, Lilly and Sierra were tight. They were best friends and spent almost every waking hour

    together.

    Something changed and all of a sudden Sierra and Lilly turned on Chloe and started keeping their distance. Chloe told me it was because Sierra became jealous after we became friends. And because of

    that, she poisoned Lilly against her.

    By the time we got married, they weren¡¯t as close but at least they were sort of friends, but after, theypletely cut Chloe off. Even at family gatherings, Lilly used to ignore Chloe. She loved the twins but despised their mom and her sister.

    ¡°Brook wouldn¡¯t lie to me.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re an idiot. The biggest idiot I¡¯ve ever seen¡­ I don¡¯t even need to know what she told you to know that it was probably made up. She wants to keep you on a fucking leash and you can¡¯t even see that.¡±

    I grit my teeth. ¡°She told me Sierra wants to rece Chloe. That she ns to kick her out.¡±

    Lilly barks a sharp, humorlessugh. ¡°First of all, I¡¯d happily throw Brook out myself; she¡¯s nothing but a parasite. And second, Sierra doesn¡¯t want you, Noah. Not your money. Not your family. Not your love. You¡¯ve broken her too many times for her to even dream of that, so you can get the idea that she wants to rece Chloe out of your head.¡±

    Fuck, why is that ufortable to hear? Her words shouldn¡¯t sting, but they do. I don¡¯t even understand

    why.

    ¡°Lastly,¡± she says, her voice like steel, ¡°do you really believe Sierra would say that?¡±

    I clench my fist until my nails dig crescents into my palms. ¡°It wouldn¡¯t be the first time she did or said something horrible to Brook. She¡¯s always hated Chloe and Brook.¡±

    Lilly just stares, disappointment heavy in her eyes. Then she shakes her head slowly. ¡°You¡¯re hopeless, really hopeless¡­ Mark my words, Noah, one day, you¡¯re going to regret every damn thing you¡¯ve ever done

    to Sierra<i>.</i>¡±

    Her words m into me, settling in my chest like poison, leaving chills running down my spine.

    ¡°Fix this<i>,</i><i>¡± </i>she hisses. ¡°Do you realize what you¡¯ve done? Our fathers built Wood Corp¡¯s spotless reputation brick by brick, and you¡¯ve smeared it overnight. Investors don¡¯t forgive weakness; they smell weakness, and they take advantage of that.¡±

    My stomach twists. She¡¯s right. One reckless moment, and I¡¯ve put it all at risk.

    Lilly shoots me onest re and storms out, heels echoing against the polished floor. The door ms

    shut behind her.

    I sink into the chair, dragging both hands over my face. It feels like my life has been nothing but a storm since that night with Sierra. I haven¡¯t had a moment of peace.

    Getting people to take down the headlines is the easy part; getting people to forget is the hard part.

    I reach for my phone, but it starts ringing just as I pull it out.

    My stomach drops when I see the name shing on the screen.

    My father.

    I swipe to answer, forcing myself <i>to </i>breathe.

    ¡°Get your ass here. Now!<i>¡± </i>His voice is a growl of barely contained fury.

    The line goes dead.

    And just like that, I know this is about to get a whole lot worse.

 Figured 603

    <b>Chapter </b><b>603 </b>

    <b>¡°</b>Young Master Wood, you¡¯re home.¡± <b>My </b>parents¡® housekeeper greets me at the door.

    I had to use a different car to get here because paparazzi were everywhere.

    ¡°How many times have I told you to call me Noah?¡± I give her a small smile. ¡°You¡¯ve known me since <b>I </b>

    was a teenager<b>.</b>¡±

    She grins <b>at </b>me but doesn¡¯t say anything and I just know she won¡¯t be calling me by my name anytime soon. We¡¯ve had this conversation thousands of times since she started working for mom, and the end results are always the same.

    ¡°Where are Mom and Dad<b>?</b><b>¡± </b>

    ¡°In the living room.¡±

    ¡°Thanks, Betty<b>.</b><b>¡± </b>

    Walking through this house always makes me feel like a boy again. Especially now, when I¡¯m in deep shit.

    When I step into the living room, Dad looks up from a stack of papers while Mom scrolls her phone with

    the same calm intensity that can cut a man to shreds.

    ¡°About time,¡± Dad snaps, tossing the papers onto the table. ¡°Took you long enough.¡±

    I don¡¯t answer, knowing well that this is one of those situations where my mouth needs to remain shut.

    Mom flicks her gaze at me, unreadable, before turning back to her phone. That calmness is the real

    warning. She isn¡¯t the kind of person to yell; she remains calm in every situation and that¡¯s what makes

    her dangerous, because it means she¡¯s nning to annihte you.

    <b>¡°</b>Just when I¡¯m about to hand over thepany to you, you decide to cause a scandal. What the fuck were you thinking, Noah?¡± Dad¡¯s voice sharpens like a de.

    ¡°Language, Rowan,¡± Mom tsks softly, without taking her eyes off her phone.

    ¡°Sorry<b>, </b>my love,¡± he mutters, then pins me with his re again.

    I clench my jaw. I fucked up and no excuse is good enough. Lilly was right; ¡°I don¡¯t know what came over me¡± sounds pathetic even in my own head.

    ¡°The media is having <b>a </b>field day,<b>¡± </b>Dad continues. ¡°And the board¡¯s calling nonstop. They¡¯re breathing down my neck.<b>¡± </b>

    Shit. He doesn¡¯t have to spell out what that means.

    Thest time that happened, Uncle Gabe was being forced to marry. It eventually worked out in the end

    with him and Aunt Harper, but when the board decides to make noise, you listen or they¡¯ll twist your arm

    until <b>you </b>eventually give in.

    ¡°You¡¯ve never had a scandal. Except for the car crash when you were high, but the media wrote that off as a grieving husband. This is different.¡± His words slice deeper. ¡°And let¡¯s not forget you hurt Sierra. She¡¯s family, Noah. What the hell is wrong with you? You¡¯ve pissed off Gabe too. He wants your head on a

    spike.¡±

    ¡°And me, and Harper¡­ In fact, you¡¯ve pissed off all your aunts,¡± Mom adds casually without looking up.

    A shiver runs down my spine. I can face a room full of wolves, but not my aunts. Those women smile sweetly, but cross them and they¡¯ll be your worst fucking nightmare.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I mutter through clenched teeth.

    ¡°Sorry doesn¡¯t fix shit, does it?¡± Dad bites back.

    ¡°I¡¯ll make some calls. Those articles will be gone in minutes, buried within the week. They¡¯ll soon have something new to obsess about.¡±

    Contacting our people should have been the first thing I did before evening here, but my mind has been such a mess that thinking straight has been a fucking problem.

    ¡°That¡¯s only the first part of the problem,¡± Dad says tly.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯ll fix this,¡± I say in a strained voice. ¡°My image has always been spotless; they¡¯ll eventually move on, just like they do when ites to Shaw.¡±

    ¡°You think so?¡± Dad¡¯sugh is humorless. ¡°That¡¯s exactly why they won¡¯t. Brad Shaw can drown in scandals and no one blinks because they¡¯re used to his antics. But you¨CMr. Perfect? They¡¯ll devour this story and cling to it for as long as they can.¡±

    Brad is one of ourpetitors. Unlike me, let¡¯s just say he¡¯s known for scandals. From partying like an animal to sleeping with his stepmom, you name it, there isn¡¯t a scandal that doesn¡¯t have Shaw¡¯s name

    on it.

 Figured 604

    He¡¯s not wrong. My perfection has always been my shield and now it¡¯s the weapon pointed at my throat. No one is surprised by Brad Shaw¡¯s scandals because they¡¯re used to them, but with me, they¡¯ll eat this up like it¡¯s manna from heaven.

    <b>¡°</b><b>I¡¯ll </b>deal with it,¡± I grind out.

    He studies me for a long moment, then shakes his head.

    Finally, Mom sets her phone aside. ¡°Now that that¡¯s out of the way¡­ mind telling me why you went to my sweet girl¡¯s workce andid your hands on her?¡±

    My spine stiffens. Facing Dad is simple. Facing Mom? Terrifying.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t assault her.¡±

    Her eyes narrow. ¡°Define assault. Because in my book, it includes grabbing someone forcefully. So, what

    possessed you to do that to Sierra?¡±

    The calm before the storm. She¡¯s been waiting for this from the moment I walked into the room.

    She stands and slowly crosses the room, looking up at me. She¡¯s smallpared to me but still manages

    to make me feel two inches tall. Nothing scares a grown man like having to face their very pissed¨Coff

    mother.

    ¡°She¡¯s like a daughter to me. And you had the audacity to put your hands on her? Is that how I raised you,

    Noah?¡±

    I remain silent, searching for words, but nothinges to mind.

    ¡°Answer me! Did I raise you to go around assaulting women?¡±

    ¡°No¡±

    ¡°Have you ever seen your dad put his hands on me or any other woman for that matter?<b>¡± </b>

    <b>¡°</b>No¡±

    ¡°Have you ever seen the men around you put their hands on any woman?

    ¡°No¡±

    ¡°Would you be okay with someone doing that to your sisters, your cousins or Nova?¡±

    <b>¡°</b>No,¡± I grind out.

    ¡°So why would you do that to someone¡¯s daughter? I know you¡¯ve never liked Sierra, but you don¡¯ty a hand on her, no matter what. Am I fucking clear?¡±

    Dad chuckles, ¡°No cursing, my love.¡±

    She snorts. ¡°I¡¯m allowed to, especially when my idiot son decides to do something so terrible to someone I consider a daughter¡± she turns back to me. ¡°Am I clear, Noah?¡±

    ¡°Yes mom¡± I reply.

    ¡°Good. Now you¡¯re going to tell me what happened and why you were even at her workce.¡±

    Fuck! She was already suspicious, but the fact that I turned up at Sierra¡¯s workce just solidifies that

    something is up.

    <b>¡°</b>Nothing.¡± I rake my hand through my hair.

    ¡°Do you think I¡¯m stupid, Noah?¡±

    I shake my head. Finally I rake a hand through my hair and answer, ¡°We had an altercation at the bar.

    Lilly hit me. I was pissed.¡±

    It sounds like a weak lie even to my own ears, but I can¡¯t tell her the truth. Telling her the real reason will

    lead to more questions.

    ¡°Let me get this straight, you were pissed at her because Lilly punched you.¡±

    <b>¡°</b>Yes.¡±

    Momughs low and dangerously. ¡°I¡¯m proud of Lilly for punching you. God knows you deserved it after you probably said something horrible¡­ But Noah, if you¡¯re going to lie to me, at least make it believable.¡±

    She turns back to her seat, leaving my skin crawling.

    ¡°Here¡¯s what¡¯s going to happen.¡± Her tone brooks no argument. ¡°I¡¯ll invite Sierra to dinner tonight and

    you¡¯re going to apologize.¡±

    ¡°Mom-<b>¡± </b>

    ¡°Shut up, Noah,<i>¡± </i>she snaps, fuming. ¡°You¡¯ll do as I say, or so help me, Noah, I¡¯ll skin you alive.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d listen if I were you,¡± Dad mutters, unhelpfully.

    Mom res at him before looking back at me. ¡°We¡¯re going to have a nice dinner, and you¡¯re going to

    apologize for being such an asshole¡­ End of story.¡±

    My jaw aches from how hard I¡¯m grinding it. But there¡¯s no winning against her.

    ¡°Fine,¡± I bite out.

    Evelyn <i>M.M </i>

 Figured 605

    [Hey Loves, I hope you are well¡­ Today is my birthday and this is my way of saying thank you for your continued support. I hope you enjoy.]

    Ava.

    I watch silently as Noah storms out of the living room. His shoulders are rigid, his jaw set, and his temper

    practically radiating off him. Forcing him to apologize to Sierra must feel like pulling out his own teeth,

    and by the look on his face, he¡¯d rather endure the pain.

    Honestly<b>, </b>I¡¯ve never understood his hatred towards her. She¡¯s one of the sweetest girls I know, but for

    some reason Noah¡¯s been too blind to see it.

    I move to the window, watching him outside. He yanks the car door open and ms it shut hard enough

    to rattle the frame.

    I can¡¯t see through the tinted window, but by the honk, I can tell he just hit the steering wheel. A

    heartbeatter, the tires squeal as he speeds out of the estate.

    I sigh, pressing my palm against the cool ss. I know my son and I know when he¡¯s unraveling. At first, I thought it was just about missing Chloe, but I¡¯m starting to think otherwise. This feels different. This feels like more than just about mourning her absence.

    Strong arms circle my waist, pulling me back into a warm, solid chest. Rowan¡¯s lips brush the juncture between my neck and shoulder. ¡°What¡¯s wrong, my love?¡±

    I close my eyes and lean into his touch, savoring the feel of his lips on my skin.

    Even after all these years, he still makes my pulse stutter and my skin prickle with sparks. I used to think

    the feeling might fade. That one day we¡¯d simply bepanions, sharing a home and raising

    children together. But he¡¯s proved me wrong time and time again.

    Our spark has never died; it has only deepened. Loving Rowan has always felt like falling in love for the very first time. And somehow, we just keep falling. Over and over again. Because that¡¯s what true love is: choosing the same person and falling for them endlessly.

    ¡°Ava?¡±

    You distracted me,¡± <b>I </b>murmur with a small smile.

    He chuckles, tightening his hold, because of course he knows exactly what he does to me.

    But my thoughts drift back to Noah, and the smile fades. <b>¡°</b>I¡¯m worried about him.¡±

    <b>¡°</b>Noah?<b>¡± </b>

    I give him a look. Who else would it be?

    ¡°There¡¯s something going on with him. He hasn¡¯t been himself, and it scares the crap out of me.¡±

    He tries to hide it so well, but I am his mother; I can see through his act. I can see through the illusion he¡¯s

    trying to feed us.

    Rowan exhales slowly. <b>¡°</b>Maybe he¡¯s just stressed. Thepany, the twins starting school. Andst month

    was Chloe¡¯s death anniversary, remember?<b>¡± </b>

    I sigh. How could I forget Chloe¡¯s death anniversary or how Noah vanished that day? If it hadn¡¯t been for Sierra, I might have had a heart attack from the worry

    Noah loved Chloe. He married her and built a life with her. I never said a word, but deep down I always wished he had fallen for Sierra instead. Always wished he had chosen Sierra.

    I treated Chloe with kindness, with the respect she deserved, because she was Noah¡¯s choice. She was who he wanted and the mother of my grandkids. But in my heart, I couldn¡¯t help feeling that Sierra was the one who truly belonged at his side.

    I kept all that to myself. I never wanted to meddle in his life, never wanted to taint what he thought was happiness.

    Though I will never regret the twins¨Chow could I, when I love my grandbabies more than life itself? There is a part of me, small but unshakable, that has always wished they were Noah and Sierra¡¯s children. A different life, a different love¡­ one I still believe would have been better for him.

    ¡°I can only imagine how hard it is for him.¡± Rowan¡¯s voice pulls me from my musings. ¡°I can¡¯t imagine a life without you. I couldn¡¯t survive losing you.¡±

    I turn in his arms, sliding my hands up to sp behind his neck. When my lips find his, I sink into the kiss, savoring the taste of him. Rowan is an addiction I never want to quit. Looking back, leaving him? divorcing him, trying to create a life without him? It was always a fool¡¯s game. I was made to be his, just as he was made to be mine

    ¡°Then don¡¯t imagine,¡± I whisper against his lips. ¡°I¡¯m here to stay and I¡¯m not going anywhere for a very long time. We promised each other fifty years, remember?¡±

    ¡°How about we make it seventy<b>?</b>¡± he asks.

    ¡°Deal.¡±

    We stay in that bubble for a breath before reality presses back in.

    Rowan¡¯s voice is steady. ¡°Ava, give Noah some time. A couple of months, and he¡¯ll be fine. He¡¯s struggling

    because Chloe¡¯s death anniversary is still fresh in his mind.¡±

    I wish it was as easy as that. If only I could believe that. But my instincts whisper otherwise, and they¡¯ve

    never been wrong.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know, Rowan. This feels different.¡± I say quietly. ¡°It feels like more than just the death anniversary

    think about it, when have you ever known Noah to lose control?¡±

    He frowns. ¡°Never¡±

    ¡°Exactly, and the fact that he went to Sierra¡¯s workce, doesn¡¯t it seem off to you? He despises her, yet

    he went to her, then lost control in front of her.¡±

    Rowan¡¯s thoughtful silence is confirmation enough.

    <b>¡°</b>You¡¯re right, like always,¡± he admits. ¡°Something is off.¡±

    ¡°Noah is hiding something. I don¡¯t know what it is yet, but I¡¯m certain of two things<b>¨C</b>he¡¯s not okay, and

    whatever it is, it¡¯s big. Big enough to rattle him.¡±

    ¡°Maybe just let him be? Let him figure things out on his own,¡± Rowan suggests carefully.

    I can¡¯t just sit back and watch someone I love waste away. It¡¯s not in my nature. If I¡¯m going to help him, I need to know what¡¯s tearing him apart. And I have a feeling it¡¯s tied to whatever he¡¯s hiding.

    Rowan studies me with suspicion. ¡°I know that look. You¡¯ve already made a move.¡±

    I give him a slow smile. ¡°Nothing <i>to </i>worry about.¡±

    ¡°That,¡± he mutters, narrowing his eyes, ¡°is exactly what worries me.¡±

    I chuckle, resting my head against his chest, but say nothing more. He¡¯s right, of course. I¡¯ve already made my move and set things in motion. Soon, I¡¯ll find out what my son is hiding.

    19

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