“Please sit. I know what I intend to do will be hard but I need you to understand who i am as much as I need to understand you.”


    I sit down on her couch and lean all the way back, closing my eyes as I fight the panic that threatens to destroy me. I choke back a yelp and contain my desire to fight as I feel her climb onto myp, straddling my legs as she sits upon them.


    “Jessa, please. I don’t know how to do this, I don’t know how to be a mate, I’m not allowed near the women or children of my pack. I don’t date. I don’t get intimate, I don’t get close to anyone, Anyone that does suffers from the effects of my nightmare. Please, Jessa please just reject me. You deserve so much better than what I can offer.”


    I’m somewhere between tears and panic when I finally shut my mouth. I’m so out of sorts right now that I refuse to open my eyes. I simply stay still, stiff as a board, as she starts to touch my face, I’m fighting everything within me to allow her to do what she wants while simultaneously keeping my


    hands off of her.


    “I anticipated this being hard but your reaction is above what I thought it would be. Wrap your arms around me. There’s nothing wrong with what we’re doing.”


    She whispers near my ear. I want to believe her but even with the Ativan my mind is swimming.


    I’m stiff andpletely unable to function as I feel her hands on my face, one on each side near my ears. Suddenly I realize that her lips are on mine. They are soft and gentle, her breath is warm upon my face as she backs off with her forehead leaning against mine.


    “I’m sorry.” I can’t help but apologize for being so tense for our first kiss together.


    “For what?” She whispers.


    “I don’t know how to do this.”


    I don’t know how else to exin what I’m feeling now that guilt has entered the mix.


    “I don’t usually move this fast but kissing is one thing I’ve always enjoyed once I’ve gotten to know someone that I’m dating.”


    She’s leaning her cheek against mine again as she speaks but I’ve yet to figure out what to do with my hands. I want her in the worst possible way yet the strict prudishness I’ve been forced to live by is my ultimate undoing in this situation.


    “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be pushing you this fast.”


    “Please don’t leave me.” The statement is rushed as I feel her move.


    “I’m not leaving but I want to try something else. I’d like you to rx with me<i>.</i>”


    “What do you want me to do?”


    “Wrap your arms around me. Give me a hug and lean forward so I can give you the same. I got carried away with you being here. I’ve never felt anything so strong towards another. I didn’t intend on making you this nervous and I’d like to try and calm it down.”


    I feel guilty that I put her in this predicament. Most mates are well past first base four months into finding each other but I can barely be in the same room as her.


    I jerk back slightly when her hand meets the back of my head but it doesn’t take long for me to follow her movements andy my head upon her shoulder. Instinctively I snuggle into her, her scent finally providing what I need to rx and connect with my mate.


    Chapter Comments


    Tanya Gordon


    finally, smell her scent and rx Cole. Poor Cole


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