(Jessa’s POV)


    It’s been hard thesest several months to be without him when my wolf longs to be near him. Perhaps that was my mistake this afternoon, I allowed her to take over as I have never been this bold with men. At least not after getting raped by Alpha Redmen’s son four years ago. A part of me wonders if this is a cruel joke, a means of Goddess Diana tough in my face. 2


    Cole’s trembling body beneath me reminds me that it’s not. He is genuinely terrified of being alone with me. Went so far as to tell me he wished alpha was with us and the only remark I could make created guilt in addition to his fear and insecurity. Despite the damage that has been caused by getting kicked out of my birth pack and getting abused by every pack that I tried to help, at least I knew love.


    My abuse and poisoning was intermittent, I would only be in a pack for three to six months before I was let go. Forced to recover from withdrawal and the trauma they caused on my own. The only time I transferred directly from one pack to another was when I came here three years ago. I still withdrew from the silver poisoning on my own but that was simply because I didn’t know the pack and couldn’t bear for them to see me so weak.


    “I’m sorry, Cole.” I whisper gently as a whimper escapes him.


    He’s managed to put his head on my shoulder yet he’s only managed to put hands down next to him instead of around me like I told him it was okay to do.


    “Cole, please hug me.” I quietly plead for him to connect with me.


    “I can’t do this. I’m so sorry Jessa. I…”


    He buries his head against my neck as his voice trails into a whimper.


    “I allowed my wolf to guide the way. I’m so sorry I didn’t slow her down. I was hoping that one of us being bold would help the other. Please Cole. I need you to understand that nothing that has happened is wrong. It’s okay to touch, hug and kiss. I want to feel your arms around me. Please don’t be afraid to hold me.”


    I’m starting to break down from my own guilt and regret from pushing him too hard too fast. My wolf was really wanting toplete the mate’s bond with him as she doesn’t believe that he’ll


    return once he leaves.


    Slowly, gently I feel his arms close around me. He’s stiff as he ces his hands on my back, stifling a yelp as he brushes against a two inch wide line of bare skin that’s been exposed since I climbed into hisp.


    “Your back is quite cold.” He whispers against my neck.


    1 remain still and rxed as he lifts his head and slowly starts feeling for the edge of my shirt. His movements are cautions, ready to stop the moment I tell him to but I have no desire for that. It may only be a moment in time where he’s taking care of something I hardly noticed but it’s that he’s taking care of it that has melted me.


    Even though I’ve been straddling him the entire time I’ve been kneeling at the same time and it’s while he slowly fixes my shirt for me that I slowly lower myself down until my rear touches his


    thighs.


    “Am I hurting you?” I can’t help but ask when he freezes from my weight.


    “No ma’am. I’m just very nervous. I’m also starting to get tired, I don’t want to leave but I need to get back to my room before I pass out from the adrenaline drop and Ativanbination.”


    “I’m sorry this will scare you but please consider it.”


    His eyes are drooping down before he quickly opens them again.


    “It’s looking like my idea is really the best one. I don’t want you to go out in the storm barely awake. It’s a good way to end up in the river. Are you awake enough to walk? This couch is terrible for sleeping on.”


    He nods his head silently as I climb off his legs. I give him space to stand but stay close in case he


    falls.


    “Straight down the hall is my bedroom and bathroom. I’d like you toy down in bed. It’s a queen and veryfortable if you like plush beds.”


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