Ava.


    I didn’t sleep at all. My mind was all over the ce. Everything still seems to be so unreal. I’ve heard


    about amnesia. I know about amnesia. I just never thought I would be one of the people suffering from it.


    It feels so weird that there is this huge gap in my memory. I remember nothing after I woke up. Nothing of


    the people who im to be my parents. Nothing of the people who im to be my friends. I remember


    nothing of Iris or the man who got me pregnant.


    Also, why would I sleep with another man? And why did it seem like Rowan had no problem with it?


    Scratch that; he isn’t mad because he doesn’t care. But why are we still married if I slept with someone.


    else and even got pregnant? And where the hell is my wedding ring?


    I feel like I have missed out a lot. In my memory, Noah is five. Yet the reality is that he’s way past that. It


    feels like I’ve missed him growing up. He shared all these memories he has with me, but they don’t ring a


    bell to me at all.


    Looking out the window, I continue to brush my hair mindlessly. It was now evening, and I was waiting for


    Rowan and Noah toe and pick me and Iris up.


    That’s the other thing that concerns me. Rowan is so different from how I know him. He’s behaving so


    differently that I keep wondering if I woke up in a different universe, because damn it, it’s like an alien has


    taken over his body or something.


    The hugs. The kisses. The holding my hand all the freaking time. It is just something that I’m not used to.


    Thest we time we talked, he told me that he hated me and that he would never forgive me.


    Could something have changed in the course of time?


    I finish up, just as Mary walks into the door with Iris in her arms.


    “Are you ready to try again with Iris?” Mary asks as she puts my daughter in my arms.


    Yesterday, we tried getting Iris totch on, but it was difficult. It’s like she was so used to the bottle that


    she found the idea of my breast foreign. To be honest, I am just d that I had milk, I didn’t mind trying


    until she got used to me.


    Yes, please


    Releasing my boob, I try to get her totch. I sigh in relief when she finally does and begins to suck.


    kat her. She looks like look Week


    It feels so nice to have her feed from me. I know that I’ve only known her for a day, but I already feel my


    bond with her. The same bond I have with Noah. My mind may not remember when I carried her in my


    womb, but my heart knows she’s mine.


    “Are you excited about going home?” she asks as she packs Iris’s stuff.


    Yesterday she filled me on everything concerning Iris. I am so grateful that she survived despite being a


    premature baby. So d that they took good care of her.


    “I am.” I chuckle a little. “Like I said, I’m dying to sleep on my bed. It’s way morefortable”


    Sheughs, but otherwise remains quiet. When she finishes, she excuses herself. Iris had fallen asleep,


    but I continue holding her. It’s insane how much I don’t want to be separated from her or Noah.


    I almost died ording to everyone. Actually, I fucking died because my heart stopped twice for a few


    seconds. It’s sad to know that I would have been separated from my kids.


    I push those thoughts away just as Rowan and Noah walk into my room.


    “Hi mom” Noahes straight to me and gives me a hug.


    “Hey, my love” I kiss his cheeks, feeling happy and joyous.


    Rowan waits until we are done before he approaches me.