I wake up with Rowan spooning. Yesterday, for some reason, I couldn’t leave after he’d asked me to


    stay. I’d wanted to. I’d fought against it, but in the end, I’d lost. By the time I’d made. the decision to


    share the bedroom with him, he’d already fallen back to sleep.


    His arms were tightly wrapped around my waist, almost as if he were afraid that I’d leave him. even in


    his sleep. In this position, I felt loved and cared for. I felt safe, and all my past hurts. just melted away. I


    feel his hot breath on the back of my neck, which just sends goose bumps all over my skin.


    Being careful not to wake him, I slowly get out of bed. I needed to make sure that Noah was up so he


    wouldn’t bete for school.


    I tip toe across the room and then silently leave our bedroom. After checking up on Iris, I head towards


    Noah’s room.


    “Noah,” I call, but there wasn’t a need for that because he was already up.


    He looks at me but doesn’t greet me. He just goes back to buttoning his school shirt.


    “Are you still mad at me?” I ask as I cross his room and sit on his bed.


    He stares at me, or, let me say, more like res at me, but he doesn’t speak. I sigh, so sure that he


    was going to ignore me in the same way I’ve been ignoring his dad. I was about to stand up and leave


    when his hurt voice stopped me.


    “I just don’t get it,” he all but whispers. “You know how much I dislike Sierra, yet you insisted I invite her


    or I wouldn’t have my party. Why? Why are you taking her side?”


    The pain in his voice breaks my heart. I would never do anything to hurt my son, but I also knew that I


    couldn’t just let him not invite the girl.


    “Come here, baby.” At first, I thought he’d ignore me, but he doesn’t. Hees and sits down next to


    me, albeit hesitantly.


    “I’m not taking her side, Noah,” I answer his question.


    “Then why did you insist I invite her?”


    This isn’t something I ever thought I’d ever share with my son, but I didn’t have a choice. If I wanted


    him to understand, then I had to tell him the bitter truth of my younger days.


    Taking a deep breath, I begin. “When I was young, around your age, I didn’t have a lot of friends. Most


    of the kids my age thought I was weird and not cool. I wasn’t bullied, but I wasn’t epted either.


    Because most of them thought that I was weird and annoying, they rarely invited me to function. I was


    never invited to birthday parties or sleepover, those kind of things. It hurt every time others in our ss


    got invites, but I didn’t. I used to cry every


    Those memories still hurt today. It was even more painful since I was a piranha, not only at school but


    also at home with my own family. As a kid, you don’t understand any of it, so I kept trying, and I kept


    getting rejected every time.


    “Who are those kids? I’m going to find them and hurt them for hurting you. No one hurts my mom!”


    Noah’s outburst pulls me back from the painful memories.


    He is angry, and I smile because he’s angry on my behalf.


    I grab his hand and pull him to me. “It was a long time, Noah… The reason I insisted you invite Sierra is


    because I’ve been there and I know how it hurts to see other people invited to parties while you’re


    being excluded. I wouldn’t want what happened to me to happen to any child.”


    He’s quiet for a while, and I hope that I’ve gotten through to him. That I’ve driven my point across. I love


    him so much, and I’m tired of the distance between us.