(Scarlett’s POV)


    More Rewards >


    I stare at the ceiling, my body tangled in the bedsheets, heart racing from dreams that felt more real than waking life. The taste of hot chocte lingers on my tongue, phantom warmth from Jasper’s fingers still burning against my throat.


    Why am I dreaming about him? Why now, when I’ve finally moved on, when I’ve finally built a life that doesn’t revolve around waiting for scraps of his attention?


    The questions spiral through my mind like poison, each one sharper than thest. My chest tightens until I can barely breathe.


    Three years. Three years of marriage where I was nothing more than a ghost haunting my own home. Where Virginia’s smallest whimper could send him running, but my tears were


    met with cold indifference.


    “You’re being dramatic, Scarlett.” His voice echoes in my memory, sharp with irritation. “Virginia needs me. Why can’t you understand that?”


    “Her panic attacks aren’t real,” I’d whispered once, desperate to make him see. “The timing is too perfect-”


    “How dare you minimize someone’s pain? Virginia has been through hell. Show some


    Compassion. For everyone except his wife.


    I remember our second anniversary. I’d nned everything perfectly – candles, his favorite dinner, the silk nightgown he’d once said he loved. I waited until midnight, the food cold,


    candles burned to stubs.


    He came home smelling like her perfume.


    “She had another attack,” he’d said, not even looking at me. “I couldn’t leave her alone.”


    “It’s our anniversary,” I’d whispered.


    “Anniversaries happen every year. Tonight could’ve been thest night of Virginia’s life.”


    Anniversaries happen every year. Like our marriage was just another date on a calendar,


    The memories crash over me like waves, each one more suffocating than thest. His cold shoulder when I tried to talk to him about my day. The way he’d light up when his phone rang,


    < Chapter 92


    More Rewards:


    hoping it was her. The countless nights I fell asleep alone while he stayed out “helping” Virginia with whatever crisis she’d manufactured.


    And through it all, I kept trying. Kept hoping. Kept believing that if I was just patient enough, understanding enough, perfect enough, he’d finally see me.


    What kind of pathetic fool was I?


    My breathes in sharp gasps. The room spins as self–loathing crashes through me like acid. How can I still dream about him? How can any part of me ache for a man who treated


    me like I was nothing?


    I feel sick. Disgusted with myself for the warmth that bloomed in my chest during that dream. Disgusted for missing the way he used to look at me, for craving the tenderness he showed me before Virginia poisoned everything.


    He chose her. Every single time.


    So why does my heart still hurt when I think about Switzend? Why do I still keep the scarves he gave me?


    Tears burn down my cheeks, hot and shameful. I bury my face in my pillow, trying to muffle


    the sobs.


    I hate this. I hate feeling anything for him. I hate that four years haven’t killed whatever stupid part of me still remembers being loved by him.


    “Mama?”


    Lily’s small voice drifts from the hallway, but I can’t answer. Can’t stop crying long enough to


    form words.


    “Mama, are you okay?”


    Footsteps pad across my floor. Through my tears, I see Lily’s worried face hovering over me, her dark eyes wide.


    “Why are you crying?” she asks, climbing onto the bed.


    I can’t fall apart in front of my daughter. Can’t let her see me broken and pathetic, crying over a man who never deserved my tears.


    I wipe my face quickly, trying to pull myself together. “I’m fine, baby. Just thinking about something sad.”


    “What sad thing?”


    :


    < Chapter 92


    More Rewards >


    How do I exin that her father broke my heart sopletely I’m not sure all the pieces will ever fit back together?


    “Nothing important,” I lie, forcing a smile. “Today is Christmas, remember? We should be happy.”


    Lily studies my face with that serious expression she gets when she’s solving puzzles. “Are you crying because Daddy isn’t here?”


    The question stops my heart. “What?”


    “Sarah at school said families are supposed to be together on holidays. But Daddy doesn’t live with us.” Her lip trembles. “Is that why you’re sad?”


    She’s four years old and already understands more than I want her to.


    I pull her into my arms, holding her against my chest. “No, habibti, that’s not why I’m crying. You know your daddy loves you very much, right? Even if he doesn’t live with us?”


    “I know,” she says into my shoulder. “He tells me every time.”


    “Good. That’s good.” I stroke her hair, breathing in her sweet scent. “So who do you want to spend Christmas with today?” <fn2> ?? ??? ???? ?? ???? ???? ???????s, ????s? ??s?? FιndNovel</fn2>


    Lily pulls back, her face lighting up. “Can we spend it with Daddy? Please? I want to show him my new dress, and I want him to see how good I am at reading!”


    My heart clenches. Of course she wants to be with Jasper. He’s her father, and despite everything between us, he’s been good to her.


    “If that’s what <i>you </i>want.”


    <i>“</i>Yes!” She bounces on the bed. “Can we call him? Right now?”


    I look at her shining face and feel something c***k inside my chest. She deserves to have both her parents on Christmas. She deserves to experience the joy of celebrating the holiday with her family, even if it’s only for one day.


    And I will let her experience this joy, even if being near Jasper might shatter what’s left of my sanity.