(Scarlett’s POV)
More Rewards <b>> </b>
<i>I’m </i><i>twenty </i><i>again</i><i>, </i><i>standing </i><i>in </i><i>my </i><i>dorm </i><i>room </i><i>with </i><i>my </i><i>suitcase </i><i>open </i><i>on </i><i>the </i><i>bed</i>. <i>My </i><i>hands </i><i>shake </i><i>as </i><i>I </i><i>fold </i><i>clothes </i><i>I’ve </i>never worn before – sweaters, <i>thick </i><i>tights</i>, boots for <i>walking </i><i>through </i><i>snow</i>.
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<i>The </i><i>Switzend </i>exchange program. <i>Six </i>months <i>in </i><i>Zurich </i><i>that </i>has <i>me </i>nervous <i>and </i><i>excited </i><i>in </i><i>equal </i><i>measure</i>.
<i>I </i><i>pick </i><i>up </i><i>the </i>wool scarf <i>I </i><i>bought </i>for <i>the </i><i>trip </i>– <i>soft </i><i>gray </i><i>cashmere</i><i>, </i><i>nothing </i><i>like </i><i>the </i>colorful ones / saw <i>in </i>the mall. I’d practiced wrapping <i>it different </i>ways – <i>around </i><i>my </i><i>neck</i><i>, </i><i>over </i><i>my </i><i>hair</i>, <i>and </i>just <i>slung </i>over <i>my </i><i>shoulder </i><i>– </i><i>until </i>my <i>legs </i><i>started </i><i>to </i><i>ache</i><i>, </i><i>and </i><i>my </i><i>eyes burned</i><i>, </i><i>and </i><i>yet </i><i>still </i><i>am </i><i>not </i><i>satisfied</i>.
<i>After </i>the twentieth <i>attempt</i>, <i>I </i><i>call </i><i>it </i><i>quits</i><i>. </i><i>Dragging </i><i>my </i><i>suitcase </i><i>out </i><i>of </i><i>my </i><i>bedroom</i>, <i>I </i><i>bid </i><i>farewell </i>to my <i>parents</i>, <i>and </i><i>hop </i><i>in a </i><i>taxi</i>.
<i>The </i><i>airport </i><i>buzzes </i><i>with </i><i>early </i><i>morning </i><i>travelers</i>. <i>I </i><i>check </i><i>my </i><i>boarding </i><i>pass </i><i>for </i><i>the </i><i>third </i><i>time</i><i>, </i><i>nerves </i><i>eating </i><i>at </i><i>my </i><i>stomach</i>. <i>This </i><i>exchange </i><i>program </i><i>could </i><i>make </i><i>my </i><i>career</i><i>. </i><i>International </i><i>rtions </i><i>majors </i><i>don’t </i>get <i>opportunities </i><i>like </i><i>this </i><i>every </i><i>day</i>.
“Scarlett?”
<i>My </i><i>blood </i><i>freezes</i>. <i>I know </i><i>that </i><i>voice</i>.
<i>I </i><i>turn </i><i>slowly</i><i>, </i><i>and </i><i>there’s </i><i>Jasper </i><i>ke</i><i>, </i><i>standing </i><i>three </i><i>feet away </i><i>with </i><i>his </i><i>mouth </i><i>open</i><i>. </i><i>His </i><i>suitcase </i><i>sits </i><i>forgotten </i><i>on </i><i>the </i><i>airport </i><i>floor</i><i>. </i>
<i>“</i><i>Jasper</i><i>?</i><i>” </i><i>My </i><i>voice </i><ies </i><i>out </i><i>in a </i><i>squeak</i><i>. </i><i>“</i>What <i>are </i><i>you </i><i>doing </i>here?”
He doesn’t <i>answer </i><i>immediately</i><i>. </i><i>He’s </i><i>staring </i><i>at </i><i>me </i><i>like </i>he’s seeing a ghost<i>, </i><i>his </i>eyes <i>wide </i><i>and </i>
stunned.
“I… I’m on the <i>same </i><i>student exchange </i><i>program</i><i>,</i><i>” </i>he <i>finally </i>manages. <i>“</i><i>Different </i>department. Legal consultation<i>.</i><i>” </i>
We’ve known each other for <i>two </i>years<i>, </i>shared sses, studied <i>in </i>the same library<i>. </i><i>But </i>he’s looking at me like he’s never seen me before.
“Do I look weird?” I touch <i>my </i><i>scarf </i>self–consciously<i>. </i><i>“</i><i>I </i>know <i>it’s </i>different. I <i>just </i>thought-
<i>“</i>You look beautiful<i>.</i><i>” </i>
The words slip out of <i>him </i><i>in </i>a rush, soft <i>and </i><i>filled </i><i>with </i>wonder. His cheeks <i>flush </i><i>red </i>the second
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<i>he </i><i>realizes </i><i>what </i><i>he’s </i><i>said</i><i>, </i><i>and </i>that makes my <i>heart </i><i>skip </i>a <i>beat</i><i>. </i>
<i>Beautiful</i>. <i>Jasper </i><i>ke </i><i>called </i>me <i>beautiful</i>.
More Rewards >
<i>This </i><i>is </i><i>the </i><i>first </i><i>time</i>. He’s <i>never </i>called me <i>beautiful </i>before. I feel more self–conscious, heat <i>suffusing </i><i>my </i><i>cheeks</i>.
“<i>I </i><i>mean-</i><i>” </i>He scrambles to <i>backtrack</i><i>, </i><i>but </i><i>I’m </i><i>not </i>listening anymore<i>. </i><i>I’m </i>lost <i>in </i>the <i>way </i>he’d looked at <i>me</i><i>, </i><i>with </i><i>wonder</i>, awe, <i>and </i>amazement.
My heart <i>hammers </i>so <i>loud </i><i>I’m </i><i>sure </i><i>he </i>can hear <i>it</i>.
The dream <i>shifts</i>. <i>We’re </i><i>in </i><i>Zurich </i><i>now</i>, <i>walking through </i><i>Christmas </i><i>markets </i><i>that </i><i>smell </i>like <i>cinnamon </i><i>and </i><i>mulled </i><i>wine</i><i>. </i><i>Snow </i><i>crunches </i><i>under </i><i>our </i><i>boots</i>, <i>and </i><i>fairy </i><i>lights </i><i>wrap </i><i>around </i><i>every </i>
tree <i>and </i><i>building</i>.
I’ve been <i>wearing </i>scarves for three <i>weeks </i><i>now</i><i>, </i><i>and </i><i>it </i><i>no </i><i>longer </i><i>feels </i><i>strange</i><i>. </i><i>The </i><i>Swiss </i><i>winter </i><i>demands </i><i>it</i><i>, </i><i>and </i>I’ve <i>learned </i><i>to </i><i>wrap them </i><i>in </i><i>different </i>ways <i>– </i><i>loose </i><i>and </i><i>casual </i><i>for </i>sses, <i>elegant </i><i>and </i><i>structured </i><i>for </i><i>dinners </i><i>out</i>.
<i>Jasper </i><i>walks </i><i>beside </i><i>me </i><i>through </i>the <i>market</i>, <i>stealing nces </i><i>when </i><i>he </i><i>thinks </i><i>I’m </i><i>not </i><i>looking</i>.
<i>“</i><i>You’re </i><i>staring </i><i>again</i><i>,</i><i>” </i><i>I </i><i>say</i><i>, </i><i>stopping </i><i>to </i><i>examine </i><i>hand</i><i>–</i><i>knitted </i><i>mittens </i><i>at </i><i>a </i><i>vendor’s </i><i>stall</i>.
<i>He </i><i>doesn’t </i><i>deny </i><i>it</i><i>. </i><i>“</i><i>I </i><i>can’t </i><i>help </i><i>it</i>.
”
<i>The </i><i>honesty </i><i>in </i><i>his </i><i>voice </i><i>makes </i><i>me </i><i>look </i><i>up</i>. <i>His </i><i>eyes </i><i>are </i><i>soft</i><i>, </i><i>almost </i><i>reverent</i>.
<i>“</i><i>It’s </i>just a <i>scarf</i><i>, </i><i>Jasper</i>.<i>” </i>
<i>“</i>It’s not the scarf<i>.</i>” <i>He </i><i>steps closer</i><i>, </i><i>lowering </i><i>his </i><i>voice</i><i>. </i>“<i>You </i><i>look</i><i>… </i><i>I </i><i>don’t </i><i>know </i>how to exin it. You’re the most <i>beautiful </i><i>woman </i><i>I’ve </i><i>ever </i><i>seen</i>. <i>And </i><i>the </i>scarf<i>… </i><i>it </i>makes <i>you </i>glow<i>, </i>almost <i>as if </i>you’re holding a <i>light </i><i>inside </i><i>you or something</i><i>.</i><i>” </i>
My breath catches. <i>In </i><i>three </i>years <i>of </i><i>knowing </i><i>Jasper</i>, he’s never said <i>anything </i><i>like </i><i>this </i>to me.
The dream shifts again. We’re at a restaurant <i>overlooking </i>the snow–covered <i>city</i><i>, </i><i>sharing </i><i>dinner </i>after long days at our respective offices. <i>I’m </i>wearing the <i>blue </i>wool scarf he bought me the week before, soft and warm against <i>the </i><i>winter </i><i>cold</i><i>. </i>
Jasper reaches across the table and adjusts where it’s slipped loose around <i>my </i>neck. <i>His </i>fingers brush my throat, and electricity shoots through me.
“There,” he says, his gaze tender. <i>“</i>Perfect.”
<i>But </i>he doesn’t <i>pull </i>his hand <i>away</i><i>. </i>We sit <i>there </i>frozen, his <i>palm </i>warm against <i>my </i><i>skin</i>, <i>my </i>heart beating so hard I fear it might burst <i>any </i>second.
2/4 <fnd9fe> ???? ????s? ???????s ?? fin?novel</fnd9fe>
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<i>“</i><i>Scarlett</i><i>,</i><i>” </i><i>he </i><i>suddenly </i><i>whispers</i>.
<i>“</i><i>Hmm</i>?<b>” </b>
<i>“</i><i>When </i><i>we </i><i>get </i><i>back </i>to <i>the </i>States…”
<i>“</i>Yes?”
<i>“</i><i>Will </i><i>you </i><i>still </i>wear them? <i>The </i>scarves?”
More Rewards >
<i>The </i><i>question </i>catches me off <i>guard</i>. <i>I </i>realize <i>I </i><i>haven’t </i><i>thought </i><i>about </i><i>going </i>back to basic t–shirts <i>and </i><i>hoodies</i>. <i>The </i>scarves have be part of <i>me</i>, the <i>act </i><i>so </i><i>natural</i><i>, </i><i>it’s </i><i>as </i>if <i>I’ve </i>been <i>wearing </i><i>it </i><i>for </i>years. <i>“</i><i>I </i><i>think </i>so,” I say. <i>“</i><i>I </i><i>don’t know </i><i>how </i><i>to </i><i>exin </i><i>it</i><i>, </i><i>but </i><i>it </i><i>feels </i><i>right</i><i>, </i><i>somehow</i><i>.</i><i>” </i>
<i>His </i><i>answering </i><i>smile </i><i>is </i><i>breathtaking</i>. <i>“</i><i>Good</i>. <i>I’ve </i><i>gotten </i><i>used </i><i>to </i><i>seeing </i><i>you </i><i>like </i><i>this</i><i>.</i><i>” </i>
<i>The </i><i>dream </i><i>shifts </i><i>one </ist <i>time</i>. <i>We’re </i><i>at </i><i>the </i><i>airport </i><i>again</i><i>, </i><i>six </i><i>months </i><iter</i><i>, </i><i>getting </i><i>ready </i><i>to </i><i>fly </i><i>home</i><i>. </i><i>My </i><i>suitcase </i><i>is </i><i>heavier </i><i>now</i><i>, </i><i>filled </i><i>with </i><i>souvenirs </i><i>and </i><i>gifts</i>.
<i>Jasper </i><i>stands </i><i>beside </i><i>me </i><i>at </i>the <i>gate</i>. <i>The </i>way <i>he </i><i>looks </i><i>at </i><i>me </i><i>is </i><i>different </i><i>now</i><i>. </i><i>It </i><i>isn’t </i><i>just </i><i>attraction or </i><i>fascination </i><i>in </i><i>his </i><i>eyes</i><i>, </i><i>but </i><i>something </i><i>more </i><i>primal</i>, <i>possessive</i>. <i>It </i><i>makes </i><i>my </i><i>chest </i><i>tight </i><i>and </i>my <i>palms </i><i>sweaty</i>.
“So<i>,</i><i>” </i><i>he </i><i>says</i><i>, </i><i>adjusting </i><i>his </i><i>carry-</i><i>on </i><i>strap</i><i>. </i><i>“</i><i>Dinner </i><i>when </i><i>we </i><i>get </i><i>back</i><i>? </i><i>I </i><i>know </i>a <i>ce </i><i>that </i>makes <i>incredible </i><i>hot </i><i>chocte</i>.<i>” </i>
<i>“</i><i>Are </i><i>you </i><i>asking </i><i>me </i><i>on </i><i>a </i><i>date</i><i>, </i><i>Jasper </i><i>ke</i>?”
<i>His </i><i>grin </i><i>is </i><i>answer </i><i>enough</i>. “Only <i>if </i><i>you’re </i><i>saying </i><i>yes</i>, <i>Scarlett </i><i>Stone</i>.”
<i>“</i><i>Then </i><i>I’m </i><i>saying </i><i>yes</i><i>,</i><i>” </i><i>I </i><i>whisper</i><i>, </i><i>hiding </i><i>a </i><i>smile</i>.
In the dream<i>, </i><i>his </i><i>hand </i><i>reaches </i><i>for </i><i>mine</i>, <i>warm </i><i>and </i><i>gentle</i>. <i>The </i>scarf <i>slips </i><i>slightly </i><i>in </i>the <i>airport </i>wind, and he fixes <i>it </i><i>with </i><i>his </i><i>free </i><i>hand </i><i>without </i><i>missing </i>a beat.
When wend back <i>in </i><i>the </i><i>States</i><i>, </i><i>Jasper </i><i>looks </i>at <i>me </i>like <i>I’m </i>the center <i>of </i><i>his </i>world<i>. </i>
But then the dream starts <i>to </i>fade<i>. </i><i>Colors </i>bleed out, <i>sounds </i>grow <i>distant</i>. <i>Jasper’s </i>face bes blurry, then disappears entirely.
I wake up in my apartment, morning light streaming through the curtains. Lily’s voice drifts from the kitchen, calling for breakfast. The gray scarf sits in my dresser drawer, waiting.
The warmth from the dream evaporates, leaving me cold and aching. My chest feels hollow, scraped clean of everything that mattered.
Because I remember what came after those golden months. I remember him proposing to
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More Rewards
me, Virginia appearing in our lives like a storm cloud, and slowly but surely, stealing the light from Jasper’s eyes when he looked at me.
I remember the day he stopped noticing when I wore new scarves, stoppedplimenting the way the fabric caught the light.
The one thing I can’t remember is when he stopped looking at me with the gaze of the woman who made his breath catch and instead started seeing me as an obligation, an unwanted responsibility to shoulder.
I touch my cheek, where tears are streaming down my face. The exact spot where dream–Jasper’s fingers had brushed when he was fixing my hijab. But there’s nothing now. Just empty air and the crushing weight of everything we lost.
Violet Moon